#nate blackwell

[quinnysnursery]

when the party's over,, move-in day・₊✧

summary : the triplets (and nate) move into their dorms! meet some new friends and nate's a worry-wart (rightfully so)

warning/extra tid-bits : crying, explicit language, i think that's all?

word count : 2,318

divider credit : umm i found all the photos on pinterest :3 (pointy & leafy thing from @saradika-graphics)

a/n : FIRST PIECE OF WTPO LITERATURE RAAAAA (not proof read, i'm just a girl!)

“Alright,” Jimmy let out a stereotypical “dad-groan” as he stood up straight, cracking his back. “That should be it.” He said, clapping his hands together as he examined the dorm room he’d helped his youngest son and Nathan set up.

Mary Lou had decided to help Matt and Nick, since it was clear that Matt was overly anxious about move-in day and so was Nick- though he’d never admit it- which meant he’d be extra snippy with Matt…a recipe for disaster. 

“Thanks Mr.S, it looks good!” Nate smiled, admiring the work the three of them had gotten done. “Home sweet home, right Chris?” He smiled, nudging Chris’ shoulder. Chris laughed softly, “Not for long, rush week starts tomorrow.” The youngest triplet replied. Heart set on moving into the Kappa Nu house.

Jimmy smiled fondly, he’d been a part of the well-known fraternity when he attended NESE. Chris (and Matt and Nick, if they weren’t so stubborn) would be legacy. “Just remember to be yourself, don’t go getting expelled trying to impress the president.” Jimmy reminded his son, pulling him into a side-hug. 

Chris nodded, rolling his eyes. “I know, I know.” He grumbled, tired of being told the same thing repeatedly.

 “Oh wow!” An unfamiliar chirpy voice came from the doorway, startling the two younger boys. Chris unintentionally reached for Nate, quickly scolding himself. He couldn’t do that, not here- at least not now.

The dorm RA was standing in the doorframe of Nate and Chris’ door. The youngest triplet vaguely remembered meeting him when touring the school last year. 

Larri. His name didn’t match his vibe, nor his looks at all. It was an old man's name and well, Larri was maybe 21 at the oldest.

“You're giving the room across from you a run for their money.” Larri joked, earning a deep chuckle from Jimmy. “Those are actually my other sons.” He explained, earning a shocked expression from Larri. “All three of your sons go here?!” He asked excitedly, Jimmy nodded- pushing Chris in front of him, away from the safety of Nate. 

“Triplets.” Jimmy smiled proudly, Larri’s head whipped to Matt and Nick’s dorm- confirming what he’d just been told. 

“I’m…woah.” He breathed, eyes filled with amazement- Chris wondered if it was just a show Larri put on for the parents during move-in day. 

“Well, it’ll be nice having some siblings on this floor. NESE doesn’t see siblings often.” Larri hummed before pointing to Chris’ nightlight that Nate had just plugged in moments prior. “Is that bulb LED?” He asked, eyes flickering between both freshmen.

“Uhm…” Nate thought back to when he’d bought it for Chris a few Christmases ago. Did the box say LED? Or CFL? What was the difference? Why did it even matter?

“If it’s not LED then I’ll have to ask you guys to unplug it when you aren’t around.” Larri explained, “Dumb fire hazard rule.” He added- earning a furrowed brow from Jimmy. 

“I mean! Very cool and safe fire hazard rule.” Larri corrected himself, earning a laugh from Chris. Larri was funny, even if it was just an act for move-in day. “Will do.” Nate said, unplugging the nightlight and tossing it into a drawer. Chris stopped himself from whining about it. 

He was a freshman in college, he could survive without seeing his night light plugged in. 

Larri bid his goodbyes after that, and not long after did Mary Lou and Jimmy offer to take the boys out to eat before officially leaving them on their own.

“Mom, don't cry.” Nick laughed softly, as Mary Lou pulled all her boys into another hug. “You know she can’t help it.” Jimmy scolded gently, hugging his boys as well. Nate included.

Mary Lou pulled away, tears in her eyes. “You four look out for each other, yeah?” She said, wavering a finger in their faces. “Nick, go to bed at a decent time.” She started, earning a playful eye roll from her eldest. “Matt,” Mary Lou placed her hands on Matt’s shoulders. “Remember to take breaks studying, yeah?” The middle triplet smiled softly, nodding. “Yeah, ‘kay mom.” 

Mary Lou let out a loving sigh as she turned to face her youngest son, her last child. “Chris, don’t forget to wash your socks.” Chris couldn’t help but laugh, pulling his mom into one more hug, “I won’t, promise.”. 

The triplets mom turned towards Nate, who’d been right next to each one of her boys nearly their entire life. “You look after my boys, okay?” She asked, earning a firm “Yes ma’am.” from Nate. 

After a few more teary hugs, the triplets and Nate watched as their parents got into their car before driving off campus.

“Just us now.” Nick sighed, turning around and beginning to walk back to his dorm. Nate, Matt and Chris all glanced at each other before following the oldest triplet. “What now?” Chris asked- trying to hide the looming feeling of anxiety. 

“I’m going to the library!” Matt smiled excitedly, pulling out his student ID with a toothy grin. “The library?” Nate asked, furrowing his brow. “Yeah! NESE holds the world record for the biggest college library!” The brunette smiled, earning a stifled laugh from his younger brother- “You are such a nerd.” Chris poked, frowning as Nate elbowed him in the side. 

Matt rolled his eyes, flipping Chris off playfully as he split off from the group. “What about you Nick?” Nate asked, subconsciously making sure Chris was walking in front of him.

“I wanted to finish editing those photos I took at our going-away party.” Nick said as they all entered the elevator, pressing the 4th floor button. Nate nodded, glancing at Chris with concerned eyes. 

‘Ding!’

Nick quickly exited the elevator, rummaging in his pockets for his dorm room keys. Nate did the same, saying bye to Nick before he and Chris slipped into their dorm.

It wasn’t a huge room by any means, but due to NESE only accepting the very best of applicants- it was bigger than an average dorm. Enough room for both Chris and Nate to spread their arms out and still not feel claustrophobic. 

“You good? Feeling little?” Nate asked the youngest triplet as Chris flopped onto his bed- letting out a deep sigh. Chris quickly shook his head, “What? No, I’m good.” He defended, crossing his arms over his chest as he scowled at Nate.

Nate’s brow quirked upwards, “It’s fine if you are Chris, it’s been a long day.” The shorter boy sympathized. He didn’t want to push regression onto Chris, but it didn’t take a genius to realize that today was stressful and stressful days typically led the boy to regression.

“I’m fine, Nate.” Chris grouched, turning to face the wall. Nate’s shoulders slumped as he sat on his own bed and grabbed his phone from his pocket- opening tiktok and beginning his doom scrolling. 

Matt clutched a leather-bound book to his chest, gulping an anxious knot down as he searched for an unoccupied table in the library. For NESE holding the world record for biggest library, you’d think that would be an easy task- Sadly for Matt, it was not.

“You can sit here.” A confident voice spoke to the right of him, Matt turned and his eyes landed on a tall girl with braids and a tan boy with fluffy black-ish hair.

The boy’s eyes were fixated on a laptop screen, Matt couldn’t see what was playing though. But the girl with braids had a few textbooks and notes sprawled out around her. “We don’t bite.” She joked, the brunette man let out a breathy laugh as he sat across from her and the dark-haired boy. 

Matt kept to himself for a few moments, eyes scanning the words on book’s parchment- flipping through the pages. It was a book on BPD and how it affected the brain. Matt was only a few pages in, but the author was doing a good job at not demonizing the mental illness.

The library was just as beautiful as the pictures on google showed, the high ceilings and shelves that required multiple rolling ladders- a general golden glow in the air that made Matt feel like a student at Hogwarts.

It wasn’t until Matt heard a low whine followed by some whispering that he looked up from his book. He was met with the sight of the tan boy whispering into the girl with braids ear- she scooted the laptop over a smidge before typing in something and pressing the spacebar. 

“There.” She smiled, rubbing the boy's shoulder before turning to return to her book- that’s when she caught Matt’s eyes.

“Sorry!” Matt’s face flushed with embarrassment as he forced his gaze downwards, praying she didn’t hate him. There was a painful silence for a few moments before the girl spoke again, “What’re you reading?” She asked, closing the current textbook she was reading out of.

Matt blinked up, his brain taking a moment to register the question he’d been asked. “Oh uhm, ‘s just a book on BPD.” He shrugged, picking up the book to show her the cover. The girl nodded, “I’m Quen.” She smiled- reaching her hand over the table.

Matt stammered over his name for a moment, quickly shaking her hand. ‘Good going, you’re making a fool of yourself.’ His brain told him- he did his best to push it down.

“Let me guess…psych major?” Quen smirked, earning a quiet laugh from Matt as he nodded. “Yeah…what about you?” He asked, making a mental note of the page he was on before closing the book. “Business, it sucks.” She sighed, waving a hand over the mountains of textbooks she had sprawled out.

Matt nodded- understanding, his dad had been a business major. His eyes flickered over to the tan boy sitting next to Quen, “His lucky ass has a film scholarship.” She joked. Matt had to cover his mouth to stop his laughter. 

“You a freshman? I haven’t ever seen you around.” Quen commented, earning a nod from Matt. “Yeah, just moved in today.” He explained, already smiling at the thought of telling Nick how he’d managed to make a new friend.

Quen nodded- beginning to pack up some of her things. “Are you gonna rush on monday?” She asked, Matt quickly shook his head. “My brother is, but ‘s not really my scene.” He explained, recalling the various times Chris told him just how lame he was for not wanting to be in a frat.

“It’s awesome! Parties every weekend, brotherhood-” “Chris you already have brothers.” “Shut up!”

 Quen thought for a moment before speaking, “Triplets?” She asked, causing Matt to stop. How did she know that? “...Yeah?” 

Quen nodded, “Larri told me, we hang out a lot.” She explained as she zipped up her lavender Fjallraven backpack before reaching over the boy in front of her and taking the laptop from him- much to his dismay.

“Quen!” He whined, pulling off his headphones. His face blushed a light shade of pink as he finally recognized Matt was sitting across from him. Quen realized this, motioning to Matt and the boy.

“Matt, Ben. Ben, Matt.” She introduced as she stuffed the laptop Ben had been using into the corresponding compartment of her bag. Matt smiled, offering Ben a small wave.

Ben’s lips quirked upwards into a smile before Quen informed him they had to go if they were going to catch dinner with Larri and Tara. 

“Bye Matt, good meeting you! Hope your brother gets into KN.” Quen smiled before grabbing hold of Ben’s hand and leading him out of the library. Matt sighed, leaning back in the wooden chair- did he just make a friend?

The next day, Chris (surprisingly) woke up before Nate. Which was good, because that meant Chris could spend as long as he wanted choosing the perfect outfit for meeting the brothers of Kappa Nu for the first time.

He knew if Nate had been awake he’d tell Chris to just “be himself!” but his brain stopped accepting that advice the moment he saw the Kappa Nu house in person during his first ever tour of the school.

Chris would do anything- or be anyone- he had to to get inside that house. 

The youngest triplet opened the drawers of the shared dresser he and Nate helped Jimmy set up yesterday, his eyes landing on his beloved night light that Nate had thoughtlessly shoved into the drawer after the RA asked him to unplug it.

A small frown formed without Chris’ permission, causing him to slam the drawer shut out of frustration. It was a nightlight. He was being ridiculous.

“...Chris?” Nate croaked, sitting up slightly in his bed. Chris turned to look at his friend, feeling bad he’d woke the shorter boy up.

“...’s 6 am, go to bed.” Nate murmured, laying back down and burying his face in his pillow. Chris rolled his eyes, continuing to search the dresser drawers for a specific pair of jeans. Suddenly, Nate shot back up- eyes full of concern that only a caregiver could have.

“Are you little? Do you need something, bud?” Nate asked, “No!” Chris argued back. Nate sighed, raising his hands in defense. “Then what’re you doing up?” The shorter boy asked, now fully awake. 

“Pickin’ out clothes. Gotta make a good first impression.” Chris explained, smiling as he finally found the perfect pair of baggy jeans. Nate nodded silently, legs dangling off the raised bed. 

“Just be yourself, they’ll love you.” Nate smiled, hopping off the bed and placing a comforting hand on Chris’ shoulder. Chris shrugged his hand off, grabbing his shower caddy and starting towards the door. Nate watched sadly as his best friend slipped out the room. It was clear that Chris would do whatever it took to get into Kappa Nu, and that terrified Nate.

taglist !! :

@mattssturnz @littlestar44 @graceslittlecorner @zivall

@hrtz4alex2211 @bimbob1tch @sturnsxplr-25 @cherry-red-heart

@pr3ttyf4wn @frlinbruh @jazminepetit-homme @raynaaxx

@tyummyz @starri-nightss @cyberskulzzz @nicksbestie

@urfavbestiee @nicksloverrr  @ducklingsandlambs

this one-shot is apart of my agere frat/college au! find more info on it, here!

[sturnsmadl]

upcoming works!

headcannons!

high!chris

step!dad matt

drunk!nick

high!matt

toxic!chris

dad!matt

one-shots!

nail tech

taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @sturnclouds @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @christophersgf @moonk1ss3d @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel66868 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re

[gutzfornick]

FOLDED

[barbwritesstuff]

LOL "the big bad scary vampire" Blackwell on the verge of a breakdown because of the realization that they've lost their precious spaghetti, meanwhile Minjo awkwardly pats their shoulder and all the werewolves are staring at them speechless.

Remember, vampires only emote performatively, so a vampire genuinely 'on the verge of a breakdown' is a vampire looking totally fine, totally normal, just standing in the corner staring at the wall.

Sergi: "Is your vampire broken? Do you need to carry it to its dock or something? Why is it standing in the corner muttering about spaghetti?" Minjo: "I don't know. Nate. Is that normal vampire behaviour?" Nathan: "Why are you asking me?" Marco (from across the room): "You're the Steve Irwin of vampires!" Nathan: "Steve Irwin was an animal conservationist. I'm a vampire exterminator." Marco: "Answer the question, Steve." Nathan: "No. It's not normal vampire behaviour." Sergi: "We should give it some spaghetti. See what happens." Nathan: "Vampires don't eat spagh---" Marco: "I think we should listen to Steve. He's the expert." Nathan: "Will you stop calling me that?" Marco: "Now that I know it bothers you? No. Never." Sergi: "I'll get the spaghetti." Minjo: "Thanks everyone. You're all very helpful."

[scotchiegirl]

Tossing around a Leverage au where Leverage Inc. is just a little bit more... legitimate.

Hardison's good at what he does, after all. He's the best, and he regularly makes covers just a little bit too good. It takes a few months before the others realize that not only have they got unbreakable aliases, they have clean original personas. There's suddenly no illegal history attached to Eliot Spencer's name, he's a security consultant. Sophie Deveraux is an acknowledged art aficionado and collector. Parker Leverage is the granddaughter and heir of Harlan Leverage III, stepping into her own. Nathan Ford is current CEO of the consulting company after proving himself by aiding in the arrest and trial of Victor Dubenich. And Alec Hardison? Well, he's tech support. No illegal hacking required.

Nate has the luck of the devil and an angel on both shoulders, things just come up roses for him, no matter what he lays his hands on. Nine months into running Leverage Consulting, he's approached by the FBI. There's something they can't quite get at, and sources pinned Nathan Ford and his team at the home of the Mascones before their fall. Taggert and McSweeten are good at their jobs for a change and notified their handlers of the strange group of people that helped them while claiming to be FBI. Nathan Ford is offered a deal. Work with the FBI with immunity and a blind eye turned to the alternate sources of revenue coming in. Leverage Inc. will remain completely under his control, but as consultants doing occasional work for the FBI. Nathan agrees on one condition: the FBI also turns a blind eye to anything weird that happens with Blackwell at IYS. Terms are set and agreed upon.

Leverage Inc. is now legitimate thieves. Taggert and McSweeten are their liaisons in the company and join them on occasional heists. As things go on, more thieves get a taste of helping without having to be afraid of being caught. Tara joins as a consultant to the consulting company. Quinn resists but eventually calls in Eliot's favor to say he was working with Leverage to get him out of a tough legal spot. Cha0s hisses like a feral cat and refuses to go anywhere near respectability. Archie gets to tell his family about his "secret past" working with the government and Parker gets to meet her adoptive siblings. They don't understand each other but Parker teaches her nieces and nephews to pick locks and helps them sneak out of the house without being noticed.

When Nate steps down he officially passes on CEO status to Parker, as is her right as heir. There's an intern section where kids with promise get to train under mentors to make more teams for continuing the good work of helping people, one case at a time.

(It's just a thought, and it came to me while thinking about how Nate and Sophie's wedding would look as a corporate event for Leverage Inc. and just... yeah. No thoughts just vibes right now but if anyone wants to take it and run with it/write with it, just let me know. Also I do understand that this would fundamentally change Leverage as we know it, I just wanted to get this out there as a sandbox au idea. Just What If, I don't actually think this is how Leverage should have been done.)

[dw-flagler]

BLONDE WILDBOW CHARACTERS

Every wildbow character with hair color described as blonde or similar to blonde. Characters are listed in alphabetical order.

A character's category is determined by their debut appearance. Though Lisa Wilbourn appears in both Worm and Ward, she will be listed as a Worm character, and not as a Ward character.

WORM:

Ashley Stillons I (Damsel of Distress)

Ava ? (Cuff)¹

Brad Meadows (Hookwolf)

Carol Dallon (Brandish)

Crystal Pelham (Laserdream)

Dean Stansfield (Gallant)

Elijah Mathers (Valefor) (Later dyes white)

Elle ? (Labyrinth)

Emily Piggot

Eric Pelham (Shielder)

Gabriel Maxberry (King)

Glastig Uaine/Valkyrie

Greg Veder (The Worst)

Hero

Hoyden

Jaager Charles (Gasconade) (Appears ONLY in PRT Quest)

Jeanne Wynn/Brown (Citrine)

Jessica Biermann (Fenja)

Katherine Oldershaw (Grace)

Kurt Wynn (Harbinger/Number Man)

Leonid(?)

Lisa Wilbourn (Tattletale)

Marissa Newland (Sundancer)

Melody Jurist (Cricket)

Mike ? (Lightstar)

Missy Biron (Vista)

Mrs. Knott

Neil Pelham (Manpower)

Nessa Bierman (Menja)

Oliver ? (Oliver)

Principal Blackwell

Riley Grace Davis (Bonesaw)

Sam ? (Prism)

Sarah Pelham (Lady Photon)

Tammi Herren (Rune/Scribe) (last name presumed)

"Tom Moss" (Acidbath)

Victoria Dallon (Glory Girl/Antares)

"White Fairy"²

Blonde Adjacent:

Alabaster (white hair)

Kamil Armstrong (white hair)

Madeline ? (Winter) (white hair)

Paige Mcabee (Canary) (yellow feathers, hair unknown)

Polka (white hair)

Scion (gold hair)

Scrub (white hair)

The Simurgh (silver hair)

Worm has: 38 blonde characters, and 8 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 46.

WARD

Ashley Stillons II (Swansong)

Ashley Stillons III (Damsel of Distress)

Axehead? (Presumed)³

Bianca ? (Goddess)

Harbinger V (Limerick)

Hunter ? (Mincemaid)

Jay ?

Kathlee Rosenthal (Monokeros)¹

Lachlan ?

Lionwing

Moose

Mr. Drowsing

Nate ? (Reconciliation)

Paris

Rain O'Fire Fraizer (Precipice)

Ryan ? (Cradle)

Samuel Vasil

William Giles (Scapegoat)

Blonde Adjacent:

Anita Vera (white hair)

Christine Mathers (Mama Mathers) (silver hair)

Coiffure (silver hair)

Colt (Colt) (bleached hair)

Dino (silver hair)

Egg (yellow hair)

Engel ("glowing" hair)

Enyo (silver hair)

Foggy Idea (gray dyed hair)

Nailbiter (bleached hair)

Presley ? (gray-white dyed hair)

Vince Crowley (poorly-bleached hair)

Voltrage ("pale" hair)

Ward has: 18 blonde characters, and 13 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 31.

PACT:

Blake Thorburn

Chloe Duchamp

Diana Thompson

James Thorburn

Joanna Duchamp

Lea Duchamp

Lola Duchamp

Paul Thorburn

Penelope Duchamp

Peter Thorburn

Rose Thorburn Jr.

Rose Thorburn Sr.

Roxanne Thorburn

Sandra Duchamp

The Briar Girl

Blonde Adjacent

Malcolm "Fell" Atwell ("light" hair)

Pact has: 15 blonde characters, and 1 blonde-adjacent character, for a total of 16.

TWIG:

The Baron Richmond

The Duke of Francis

Duncan Lambsbridge

Emily Gage

Gordon Lambsbridge(?)

Helen Ibott

Jamie Lambsbridge

Jessie Ewesmont

Lord Carling

Lord King

Lord Leeds

Marcella

The Duke of Francis

The Twins (counts as 2)

BLONDE ADJACENT

Lady Glora ("pale of hair")

Lara (white hair)

Nora (white hair)

Twig has: 15 blonde characters, and 3 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 18.

PALE:

America Tedd

Anthem Tedd

Avery Kelly

Edith James

Eloise Miraz

Freak (of Freak & Squeak)

Gillian Ross

Liberty Tedd

Reggie the Composite Kid

Snowdrop

The Family Man

Ulysses Miraz

Wallace Davis

BLONDE ADJACENT

Mrs. Schaff (white hair)

Crooked Rook (white hair)

Gemma Duchamp (Grey hair)

Luna Hare (white hair)

Pale has: 13 blonde characters, and 4 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 17.

CLAW:

"Valentina's Mom & Sister"

Claw has: 2 blonde characters, and 0 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 2.⁴

Notes

¹ Both cuff and monokeros are noted to have dark hair in Ward while having blonde hair in their original appearances (Worm and WD Helena respectively).

² White Fairy is Mr. Gladly's girlfriend and a prolific redditor who is seen during the leviathan battle and the PHO greg interlude. deep cut. As a mortal enemy of greg veder, please treat her with appropriate respect.

³ Axehead is never seen in ward. However, Titan Skadi (who forms from Axehead) is described as having golden hair. I am presuming that this is from axehead the human having blonde hair.

⁴ Literally 1 person told me any characters from claw. i haven't read it. there's more than 2, but i haven't seen anything.

[emma-cantmakeuphermind]

Just A Project | XI

Nathan Prescott x Reader

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Warnings: fluff like gagging fluff, swearing, ooc nathan, the whole shabang

Words: 957

A/N: AHHHHHH at last it has arrived. please enjoy this ones cute

As we finally reach the top of the infamous lighthouse, I have to take a moment to fully catch my breath. Damn those stairs will take you out. Nathan stands to the side waiting for my reaction to the nearly impossible view. I finally look up, and the sight I see nearly knocks the breath right back out of me. I’m absolutely speechless, my mouth kinda hangs open dumbly. “I told you it was good.” He smiles at my dumbfounded expression and grabs my wrist to pull me to the railing, giving me the full experience. 

My hands grip on the railing, taking in the view. Nathan stands close behind me with his hands in his pockets. He's so close the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He leans down a bit, speaking softly into my ear. “I think now would be a perfect time for some shots.” Another small shiver runs down my spine. “Yeah,” I do my best not to stutter. “That sounds good.” I turned around to face him, not fully aware of how close he was, basically nose to nose. We both go wide-eyed for a moment before Nathan backs up a bit. I glance around awkwardly, “So, uhm… Am I posing?” I ask, Nathan looks around, “Yeah, I have a few visions in mind.” He gives me a small smirk, which I return with a shy smile.

He poses me all around the top of the lighthouse, getting different angles of every pose. I feel shy under his lens, but I’m not gonna lie, the strings of praise that leaves his lips when he is pleased with a particular shot keeps me going. He stops and looks at the pictures. He looks pleased? I’m not sure. I mean after almost an hour of posing there better be something worthy enough for Nathan. I sit still in my sitting position, back against the railing, knees pulled to my chest. I look up at him, just studying him. He’s so… not what I thought. To the naked eye Nathan is just a spoiled rich kid whose father basically owns the town you live in. Nobody really gets to know Nathan, and I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that they’ll never know how funny, and kind, and caring Nathan can be under his hard exterior. I feel so honored and lucky that he was able to let me in. 

My thoughts were interrupted by Nathan himself. “There isn’t a single photo that isn’t perfect.” His words are spoken so softly I almost didn’t hear him. I laugh a bit nervously, “I don’t know about that.” He looks up at me and moves to sit next to me on the floor. “I’m serious, Y/N, look!” He hands me the camera, and I go through the photos. He was right. They’re all perfect. But not because of me, but because of him. His eye is so unique, and so him. Though it's nice to see myself from his perspective. “Nathan…” It’s so hard for me to formulate the right words. He looks at me, waiting for my response. Having his eyes on me so intently makes my cheeks turn a little pink. “These are so awesome. You’re an amazing photographer, Nate.” I look back at him. The eye contact throws me off, it feels so intimate. He shrugs, “You’re a great subject.” I smile and his goofy smirk only grows. “Whatever.” I mumble with a small eye roll. The sun is going down and it’s getting late. Nathan sighs and starts to get up. He’s looking up at the roof, “Come on, Nerd.” He finally looks down and holds out a hand for me to take. I grab his hand and he pulls me up. We go back to Nathan’s truck, and we drive back to Blackwell. 

The ride is silent, not awkward, just comfortable. Though I notice Nathan shifting around a lot, almost nervously? I try to not really think anything of it. When we arrive at Blackwell we both sleepily get ou of Nathan truck and walk towards the dorms. It’s a nice walk, just me and him, silently enjoying each others presence. We reach where the girls and boys dorms split and turn to face each other. I look up at him sleepily but with a smile on my face. “I guess this is where we part ways then.” I say with a yawn at the end. Nathan chuckles with his hands in his pockets and says, “Yeah I guess it is.” We just stand there smiling at each other, we must look like idiots to an outside view. I realize I’m still wearing his jacket, and I rush to shrug it off my shoulders, and hand it to him.

He looks at me like I’m dumb, and just shakes his head. “Keep it, Nerd. I’ll just get it tomorrow yeah?” I just smile and put the jacket back on, butterflies in my stomach for some ungodly reason. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, bright and early!” I put on a stern face with, in my own opinion, an amazing Mark Jefferson impression. It gets a fake laugh from Nathan, “Yeah, yeah okay nerd, whatever.” We both slowly start backing away to our own respective dorms, not breaking eye contact, our goofy smiles still present in our faces. “Goodnight, Nate.” I call out to him. “Goodnight, Y/N/N.” And with that I turn around walking to my room. A heat rising to my cheeks at the nickname. Little did I know that as I was walking away, Nathan had stopped to watch me get to the dorm hall safely, with his own coat of pink on his cheeks.

[approxtwelveangrybees]

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Thank you for the tag @lonelyheartsmotel ily. I’m including some original stuff to reach the ten wip mark.

1. Something held him down. (To Find Myself Upon Your Shore, Jamie & Ted)

2. My dearest: I know this letter will not find you well. (Original Characters)

3. The Threshold was cold. (Wish Fanfic for @ibrithir-was-here‘s endless heirs au, Wish & Daniel)

4. Dream can speak to ravens, but it was still a surprise when one spoke to him. In the Waking World, he tends to avoid talking to anything, and, as if picking up on that, most anything tends not to talk to him. (Role reversal au inspired by Mare Adamantis’ fics, Corintheus)

5. After the gunshot that took Jessamy, Dream’s ears didn’t stop ringing. He didn’t know if it’s a matter of didn’t or couldn’t or wouldn’t, he who was usually so precise with his words, having every mind capable of forming them to draw from.  (Sequel to I Can Still Feel You Hold My Hand, Little Man, Dream & Death)

6. He’d been overconfident. (You Just Burn, Dreamingstar)

7. “I am Death.” They smile, saccharine sweetness dripping off their bared teeth. “No, sweet thing, you’re not.” (Untitled Dreamingstar AU that I will discuss more if asked!)

8. “I mean, you could work up to it. Took the team some time, yeah, but they let me back in. Apologizing to Ted probably isn’t a bad place to start.” (This won’t be the opening line by the time I’m done, not even of the scene, but it’s what I have now for Would Know Him Blind, a Nate x Jamie fic)

9. “The Eli I know died escaping a tyrant obsessed with our magic. You serve one. Can you blame me for being confused?” (Mage Reborn Fic, Eli & MC)

10. It’s been good. It took about two weeks for everyone’s injuries to heal, mostly thanks to the full moon. Everyone who came out of your pack’s confrontation with Blackwell, at least. Physically. (Blood Moon epilogue fic, Roe x MC)

I tagggggg @cavehags @jametartt @goldieknocks and @ibrithir-was-here

[squidsquadlove]

I posted 620 times in 2022

That's 521 more posts than 2021!

80 posts created (13%)

540 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@alexparisa

@krakenshipwreck

@rimouskis

@crosbyism

@plethoriall

I tagged 616 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#seattle kraken - 134 posts

#sidnate - 46 posts

#shane wright - 36 posts

#dammit sid - 24 posts

#philipp grubauer - 22 posts

#jared mccann - 21 posts

#matty beniers - 20 posts

#chris driedger - 20 posts

#sidney crosby - 19 posts

#goalie love - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#but also. i am dealing with a bit of a toppy baby squid and. i don't know how i feel about that how does everyone feel about that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

is there by any chance a kraken discord full of love, squee, serious hockey discussions, and thirst for attractive hockey players

asking for a friend

20 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#4

Ficlets Of The Off-Season, 2022

I am in the mood to write tiny kink-centric ficlets about my blorbos, and have made the following list of prompts in hopes of actually inspiring myself to do some things (instead of starting long plot after long plot and petering out after about 5000 words).

I don't know if I'll get through all of them, but here is the random list I generated, based on extremely self-indulgent desires to write some things I like:

1: under control (or not) - Sid/Claude, A/B/O 2: possessiveness - Sid/Nate, Nate/Cale 3: sweat - Sid/Nate 4: fighting - Borgen/Soucy 5: roughing - Matty/Shane, BDSM AU 6: sex toys - Nate (solo), implied Nate/EJ 7: winners and losers - Sid/Mario, dark, noncon 8: suspension - Kyle Dubas/Auston Matthews, BDSM 9: selfies 10: audience 11: collars 12: negotiation 13: roleplay 14: competition 15: teasing

12: roleplay

16: headspace 17: sleeping/unconscious 18: injury 19: punishment 20: watersports 21: nesting 22: endurance 23: humiliation 24: consent play 25: class difference 26: unexpectedly vanilla 27: sex work 28: bondage 29: jerseys/uniforms 30: gangbang 31: tentacles

The blorbos in question: ye olde dumb hockey mans. Probably. Maybe dumb hockey womans? Maybe OC hockey doofuses? AU characters playing hockey? We'll see.

24 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

30 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

#2

I'M REACTING TO THIS PERFECTLY NORMALLY

36 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I don't know who needs to look at something soothing after the news about Gio and Blackwell but here's a preview of the feature the Kraken are doing on Rig's ink

335 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[phileye]

Fallout and Philosophy Call for Abstracts 

Fallout and Philosophy  Call for Abstracts  Edited by Nathan Kellen, Nate Sheff, and Joshua Heter The Blackwell Philosophy and Pop Culture Series  Please circulate and post widely. Apologies for cross-posting.  To propose ideas for future volumes in the Blackwell series please contact the Series Editor, William Irwin, williamirwin@kings.edu  Contributors of accepted essays will receive an…

[prsrott]

NATHAN’S GENERAL INFO /

꩜ BASICS.

full name. nathaniel joshua prescott ( the 3rd. )

nicknames. nate, prescott, rottie, rottweiler, little rich kid, spoilt brat — a myriad of insults.

birthday. august 29th, 1995.

age. 18 & upwards depending on verse. typically 19-25.

nationality. american ( oregon, born ) & english descent ( specifically oxford, sean’s hometown. )

gender. transgender male. covert / unknown by all except family.

orientation. closeted, & massively in denial homosexual.

pronouns. he / him.

education. private school up until blackwell academy, had periods of homeschooling in early teens due to inability to focus / slacking & bullying.

occupation. student at blackwell, takes up a job in theatre after blackwell & is far more incognito. mainly funding local shows, specifically helps with sets, props & lighting, very much out of the spotlight. figurehead for the small creative industry in outer oregon, but doesn’t participate too often.

birthplace. arcadia bay, oregon.

religion. atheist.

꩜ PHYSICAL.

height. 5’6 ( he tends to lie and say he’s 5’9 )

build. relatively scrawny, but with spots of decent muscle in his arms and shoulders. slender with poor back posture, possible scoliosis, not very toned.

hair. slicked back with gel a majority of the time, with a single strand lain over his forehead. cut short but still slightly unruly. a very light chestnut color with flecks of gold in his roots. he takes a lot of pride in his hair & tends to waste a lot of time on it.

eyes. a light, sharp blue that looks grey in some lighting, icy, similar to that of a glacier. thin, almond shaped eyes that are almost always squinted to a look of disgust, intentional or not. eyebags underneath are incredibly dark but often covered with foundation.

face. square faced with smaller eyes and shaped eyebrows, jawbone somewhat pronounced. roman nose with a slight dent due to breaking it at 15. thin, cracked lips & slightly smaller forehead. prominent freckles across middle / top of nose to cheeks.

skin. pale & poorly maintained, often suffers with dry skin, a lot of freckles dotted across his body. old scars across arms up to his bicep and on his hips. fine hair across his skin that is a very light brown.

tattoos. none, but desperately wants some kind of whale / ocean piece on his back.

voice. slightly nasal, has a relatively higher pitch & is weathered by the amount of smoking he does. it’s often ‘whiny’, but can be calculated & detached in times of stress, & in anger his voice tends to crack & grow exasperated, raspy, & growling. a lot of frat bro speak & immature slang when around certain crowds or trying to maintain his image. quick to showcase emotion in his voice unless he knows not to.

style. in blackwell, it’s typically varsity, undershirts & polos, often wears brown brogues or on occasion overly-expensive trainers. always has to involve some shade of red—it’s his favourite color so it needs to be in there somewhere. outside of his more preppy wardrobe he tends to wear comfy sweaters, cover himself up with large trenchcoats or wear graphic tees with various horror icons on them. always long sleeve & always baggy trousers, with the exception of some skinny-fit jeans.

꩜ PERSONALITY.

positive traits. assertive, protective, uninhibited, blunt ( pos & neg ), talkative, determined, efficient, creative, freedom-seeking, perceptive, confident, passionate.

negative traits. dismissive, insensitive, quick to anger, blunt ( pos & neg ), detached, rude, obnoxious, arrogant, gossiper, cruel sense of humour, pessimistic, sensitive.

likes. theatre. horror films. whale songs / underwater ambience. sphinx cats. late nights on the coast. drive thru cinemas. expensive alcohol. drugs. misty mornings. obscure grungy music venues. the color red. stargazing. marlboros.

dislikes. photography. blackwell. his dad and his family home. any highly wooded areas or open fields. scrapyards. small dogs. medical equipment / hospitals. storms. people who belittle him. being told what to do.

fears. jefferson.

ambitions. to become the next star photographer to get as far away from arcadia as he can. to get psychiatric help. to cut off his father. to get away from jefferson.

hobbies. partying. recording memos on his phone. sketching and writing in his notepad. staying up until early morning watching film reviews. going on long night drives. going to quiet cafes in the mornings & ordering black coffee.

vices. how he views his body. self harm. self-destructive tendencies. abusing alcohol and drugs. working for jefferson. killing rachel amber.

zodiac. virgo sun, sagittarius moon, aries rising. fire dominant.

myer-briggs type. isfp : the adventurer ( 6w7 - 683 )

moral alignment. chaotic neutral.

꩜ ETC.

parents. father, sean j. prescott & mother, marie v. prescott.

siblings. sister, kristine prescott, currently living in brazil.

pets. a russian blue cat when he was a child called nibbles.

dominant hand. right.

mental state. currently taking risperidone due to psychotic symptoms. had been diagnosed with anorexia as a teen and struggles with severe body dysmorphia. suffers under frequent delusions and paranoid episodes. has restless legs syndrome, ptsd & diagnosed with adhd ( combined type ) as a child.

visuals. broken mirrors. flickering fluorescent lights. misty seascapes. empty aquariums. vacant houses in the backstreets of cities. mansions on fire. fresh bruises on knuckles. spirals. smoking a cigarette at midnight. graveyards. luxurious expensive rooms covered with dust. out of focus camera lenses. dogs with chains as collars.

playlist. crack baby, mitski. king diamond, team sleep. stabilisers for big boys, panchiko. untitled (cont.), brave little abacus. jigsaw falling into place, radiohead. atwa, system of a down. pretty boy, tv girl. trees II, mccafferty. black hair, alex g. btstu, jai paul. death of a party, blur. high to death, car seat headrest. link.

[quinnysnursery]

when the party's over,, party people・₊✧

agere frat au (little!chris x caregiver!nate centric)

tara yummy - "you got invited to a tara yummy party...like the tara yummy?"

junior. president of double delta. looks like a mean girl, is actually the sweetest girl on campus. fashion design student. short (compliment). social anxiety is scared of her. "tara yummy is a mindset."

larri "larray" merritt - "third door on the left, you can't miss it. he's always blasting billie eilish on mondays."

junior. film major. nick's IMMEDIATE bestie. silver jewelry & painted nails. never in class, somehow the teachers favorite. "i wanna be a director 'cause i love when people listen and respect my words." "...larri, you just want a stable relationship." "okay and??"

quenlin blackwell - "you mess with ben, you mess with larray and quen."

junior. once she sneezed and the entire classroom said bless you. business major. has blacklisted SEVERAL people from double delta. "i'll drive!" "isn't your license suspended?" "okay well where's your license?" "..." that's what i thought."

benjamin de almeida - "that's ben! he...i don't really know what he does."

sophmore. parties aren't actually his scene but he was adopted by larray and quen last year. messiest dorm on the campus. roblox fiend. film major. somehow always slightly lost. "when mitski said 'in the corner taking up space'...i felt that."

[checkthefeed]

[ Disconnect | Team Movie 2023 ]

Disconnect follows the Satellite team from Colorado Wyoming , Utah Kazakstan and beyond. Riders Include: Ian Boll, Hunter Frutchey, Steve Lauder, Raul Pinto, Chad Otterstrom, Seth Bruce, JG Mazzotta, James Fredrick, Justin Phipps, Chase Blackwell, Jackson Fowler, Ethan Campbell.

Produced by: Raul Pinto, JG Mazzotta

Filmed by: Brendon Barry, Zack Rawles, Nate Cordero, Drew Herder, Jon Stark, Ian Boll, Ryan Sheets, Alex Kirkland, Ryan Arrington, James Hill, Seamus Foster, Warp Wave, Grey Thopson, Sam Tour, Seth Hill, Reece Bolin, Ryan Phipps

Satellite Boardshop, All Rights Reserved

[esonetwork]

'Gary Phillips' Hollis P.I.' Book Review By Ron Fortier

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/gary-phillips-hollis-p-i-book-review-by-ron-fortier/

'Gary Phillips' Hollis P.I.' Book Review By Ron Fortier

GARY PHILLIPS’ HOLLIS P.I. Edited by Gary Phillips & Morgan McKay Pro Se Press 169 pgs

From Pro Se Press comes this six-story collection featuring Los Angeles private eye, Nate Hollis. Created by veteran pulp writer Gary Phillips, Hollis is a street-savvy detective with the usual assortment of colorful supporting characters ala his grandfather Clutch Hollis who owns the Hideaway Bar, and Irma “Deuce” Ducett, a one-time female cop turned bounty hunter. All of them are terrific players and in this volume, Phillips not only pens two of the six tales but invited four other new pulp writers to play in his sandbox. The result is a treat for all lovers of hardboiled private eyes.

Phillips kicks off the collection with “The Chuckles Job” wherein Hollis is kidnapped and severely beaten by an old foe. He manages to escape and investigate who and why he was targeted. All of this leads him to uncover a bizarre series of events that include a long-forgotten heist, a young man with an eidetic memory, and a single-engine plane crash into an apartment house. The twist and turns are crazy in this one.

Bobby Nash steps up to the plate next with “Naomi.” Hollis investigates the murder of a young woman caught up in the soulless porn business. It’s an emotional roller coaster for Hollis and by the tale’s finale; he’s managed to give the girl’s tortured parents some justice. Our favorite story in the book.

“Belly of the Beast” by Juliet Blackwell is the book’s third entry. In San Francisco for a few days, Hollis is contacted by an old flame. A billionaire businessman into kinky sexual practices is found ritually murdered and a local Wicca practitioner is arrested for the crime. Hollis’ job is to prove her innocence and find the real killer. Having him operate outside of his usual L.A. haunts works extremely well in this fast-paced, really well-written story.

“Twilight of El Perro” by Aaron Philip Clark has Hollis investigating the murder of one of his deceased father’s old informants named Fletch. The thing is Fletch died being ravaged by two trained pit bulls owned by El Perro, a sixty-ish killer most people think is dead. Whereas this senior is anything but in a well-plotted tale concerning greed and corruption.

Number five is “Baby Daddy” by the late Derrick Ferguson. When a wealthy hustler tries to con a young actress with a phony murder scam, Hollis gets called into the matter to help unravel the real purpose behind the convoluted extortion. Another example of what the New Pulp community lost with Derrick’s passing.

Finally Phillips wraps it all up with an Irma Deuce story, “Last Stand at Echo Villa.” She’s hired to find someone only to then discover she’s been set up. She and the prey have to fend off two hired guns in an abandoned shopping mall – apartment complex. Different kind of story that works extremely well.

All total, “Gary Phillip’s HOLLIS P.I.” is an excellent collection of crime stories with some memorable characters. Worth your time and dime.

[m-arahuyo]

(finally) finished and gussied this up a lil for you @mogatrat <3

tw: drug abuse, self harm

if anybody else still wants to read this after the tw then here's ur primer i suppose :') if ur down for some life is strange fic idk

noxious  /ˈnäkSHəs/  adj.   harmful, poisonous  pleasure  /ˈpleZHər/  n.  a feeling of satisfaction or enjoyment 

Pleasure.  

Up the nose and straight to the brain. An explosion of colors and sharpened outlines. Swabbed across teeth, sucked, swallowed. In, into veins, pumping and whisking and making her senses yawn open and goosenips prick. Melting on the tongue. Easing down the throat. Making her eyes pop open wide. Her muscles flex. Her thighs shiver.  

In. Between the legs. Spearing and pumping and coming. In her mouth, filling her cheeks, and paths of energy down her neck. Whenever Victoria comes down she could marvel at herself, how she’s holding Rachel’s lessons of taking poison so well close to her chest.  

So she doesn’t come down.  

And Nathan’s perfect for when she doesn’t feel like coming down. They’re king and queen of high school nightmare and obscenities dolled up with designer clothing and gold rings. He plies her with molly, weed, acid. Coke if they’re both feeling particularly ugly. For when their armors they wear out in the world need a good buffing. They’ll wash it down with Fireball and bathe in lights and music and finish the night strong with vomit. Nights with Nathan feel like hurtling through life at light-speed. Feel good good good and Victoria’s had enough not-good to not salivate running after him like a puppy when he has the really good weed.  

Victoria may be bursting but it’s fine, because Nathan’s here and Nathan’s just as bad, Nathan’s hemorrhaging. Nathan’s an open sore under the Hugo Boss armor and if the both of them collapse in blue-red-green lights like this then that’s just the way it is.  

(They’ll bust open like C4. They’ll get their mess all over everyone in this shithole. Puke and viscera and blames thrown around of administration couldn’t keep drugs off-campus and staff should be keeping a closer eye on signs of mental illness and self-destruction and some even of maybe if their parents just put a leash on these rich fucking bitches) 

“You can’t drive,” Nathan grumbles in the parking lot now, slapping Victoria’s hand away from the driver side door. “You fuckin’ dumb, Vic?” 

Distant club music flutters in the background, makes Victoria’s head pound. Sneering, she gripes, “what, like you can?” 

“Dih—didn’t say I was gonna. Gonna get us a cab.” 

Victoria’s leaning hard on the hood of Nathan’s car. Her vision is warped. All she sees of him is a sorry blur of red jacket like the open wound that he is. “What abo—about your car? Gonna get jacked here, Nate. Muh—make your dad mad.” 

And he grins, the shape of his mouth and teeth crisp to Victoria’s eyes and right, yeah, when is his dad never mad, actually.  

He reminds Victoria of Chloe in that way except Chloe barks with her tail between her legs. Nathan actually brings a gun to school and his idea of a joke is shoving it in his mouth with the safety off. The next morning in Blackwell, he mumbles to Victoria left and right “I could waste this loser” when they so much as see someone wearing a jacket that’s so two seasons ago. Victoria just laughs because he does. She laughs because she’s still got coke leftover to suck off her teeth. And then Principal Wells sees them, gives them the eye as they pass, and they just snicker.  

(He’ll head to his office and write up some shitty email to their parents. Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so: this is to express my concern regarding your son/daughter that he’ll cut masterfully with lighthearted parent-blaming and heavy-handed attempts of shedding his own guilt. He’ll keep it as a draft to proofread later and let it join the mess of other emails he’ll never send.  

C4, gonna blow to bits. And when it’s too late they’ll all think about how all anybody’s ever had to do was ask them shit like this:) 

“Think your dad’s gonna come to the next show?” Victoria asks, prepping a bowl for them both in his room. Nights are sad in Arcadia Bay. Nathan keeps his blinds lowered to maybe not see it. He’s sprawled on a beanbag and he scoffs like what the fuck do you think. Victoria smirks at that. “Think he’ll ever come to a show?” 

“Don’t want him to, anyway. Asshole’d just call me useless in fifteen different ways.” 

Hemorrhaging. He’s got a prescription bottle on his bedside table that Victoria bets will ring full if he tells him to shake it and appointments with a therapist he keeps putting off. The only treatments that matter to him are bought from that asshole Frank at the beach, wrapped up in paper bags that look like they’re made for wiping piss.

Victoria allows him the pleasure of getting the first puff now and leans back, watching the bony spread of his chest expand with an inhale.  

“Think you can leave early tonight?” he asks, passing her the pipe. Victoria frowns.  

“The hell for?” 

“Got a girl coming over. Don’t want you here for that, weirdo.” 

“Make me.” 

“Up in the bookshelf. Got molly.” Nathan jerks his thumb in its direction. “Get you wet enough to leave early?” 

“Fine.” 

Victoria’d been kidding. She doesn’t want to stick around anyway. It’d be horrifying to watch him fuck anyone, being that thin—would only be able to imagine his bones coming apart and cracking with exertion if she did. Would only picture the explosion.  

The girl that arrives later has long, blonde hair, nice eyes caked in eyeshadow, and a pretty smile with perfect teeth to boot. Victoria doesn’t say anything about it. She shuts Nathan’s door on the way out and pulls up Zach’s contact with molly in her mouth. It feels good enough in her blood that she doesn’t even mind the football-practice sweat on Zach’s belly and lower, later.

(In. Between the legs. Spearing and pumping. In her mouth and filling her cheeks.  

Exploding. Coming like C4. Victoria’s eyes shut at the goodness of it all.) 

---

The Vortex Club feels good. Like when they’re out burning rubber, or shopping, or partying. Or just like this, lounging around the courtyard in the sun and talking about bullshit that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.  

Or—or—shit like this.  

Victoria sees her in the distance. Kate, head down, a slave to gravity ever since Victoria got that sweet (sick sick sick hate hate hate) video up and running. She could remember every second of it without watching it again. The shine of Kate’s lips and the feeble light in her eyes. Could come to thoughts of it some nights if she goes particularly hard on the molly, vomiting just as hard afterwards. Without turning away, she grabs Logan’s arm and gives it a shake.  

“Hey. Logan.” She jerks her chin at the meek shape of Kate. “Why don’t you check on our little church girl over there?” 

“Huh?” 

Nathan’s next to Victoria. His body jumps in attention, leans, and Victoria sees the grin split his face. He’s even chuckling. “Hey. Yeah, Logan. Be a gentleman. She sure could use a friend, wouldn’t you say?” 

There’s a quiet rumble of laughter around them (feels good. A shot to the nerves good) and Victoria looks sidelong at Logan. “Yeah. Give her a hug, man. Could use it a lot.” 

“Could even ask for a kiss if you want,” Nathan wheedles.

Logan snickers. He’s up, dusting dirt and grass off his jeans. He’s like a puppy that bounds over to Kate, quick and jolly. Like a predator that looms over her when he gets there, arms open, teeth bright and smile crooked. Even in the distance Victoria could make out Kate’s trembling 

yeah feels good who the fuck do you think you are do you know who I am 

and when Logan advances she topples backward, books and school bag falling around her. Nathan is the first to laugh. Victoria’s guffaw rips her sneer in half. When the rest of them start to howl, Logan backs off, hands raised in surrender, and starts jogging back.  

Victoria’s staring at Kate. Waiting for her to stare back. Kate doesn’t. She picks up her stuff, clambers back to her feet, and walks with her neck bent all the way down.  

The high makes Victoria’s chest near burst (filling up up up filled up with C4) and Nathan is still cackling, slapping her on the shoulder. “That was good, Vic. That was gold.” 

That was good. That was good good good. 

---

In the times Victoria spirals (ticks, tick-tick-tick) she sits in the darkness of her room and keeps an eye on the doorknob in some sick hope of seeing it rattle. Does it close to the wall in some sicker hope of hearing violins and a flutter of laughter. In these times that Victoria spirals, skirt comes off and she’ll suck against her teeth as she slices herself a line of bloody coke on the skin of her inner thigh  

until it starts feeling good good good again 

and let the bleeding subside with a damp towel before going down for another hit. Toes curl, jaw spasms, and she could whimper loud enough to make the dorms think that she has a guy over. She does it like she does sex, all done and sweaty at two, and lets the towel turn red soaking up all her pleasure.  

It’s not anything she hides from Nathan. Nathan likes his jackets because he prefers his arms. He bares them to Victoria in his room and the lines present a spectrum of faded to lucid in perfect sequence because they’re artists like that, even if their parents won’t acknowledge it. The tank he’s wearing is probably worth more than Stella’s entire sorry outfit. All the money in the world couldn’t buy you fucking love even if you wanted.  

“That’s new,” Victoria observes, pointing when Nathan extends his arm to hand her a joint. Nathan looks down at it and shrugs.  

“Got bored.” 

“Yeah right.” 

Nathan scoffs. He shoves the joint at her chest so she’ll finally take it. “Like those aren’t?” He points to Victoria’s thigh, moonpale in the light in her shorts. Red welts stark in between old scars. “What’s it this time?” 

Victoria lights her joint and Nathan does the same to his across from her. “Wanted to feel nice.” She twists her leg, gets a good look at her thigh. “It worked alright.” 

“We’re fucked up. Have we ever told each other that?” 

Victoria’s smirking. “Like that needed saying out loud.” She reaches for the beers at her side and tosses Nathan a can. Warm now, not unlike anything she’s ever had before, anyway. Back of a truck, really bad pot, good blue tablets.  

Same ones Nathan’s got on his palm, one handed over and crowned with a cloud of smoke. Victoria pops it in her mouth in the same motion she takes it from him. “What do you think?” she asks noncommittally. “Make it to our 30s?” 

“If we make it out of here, yeah. Go far away.” 

“Where to?” Victoria bites her cheek but the impulse wins out. “California?”  

Nathan’s looking at her with something unreadable on the set of his mouth and tilts his head. “Why there?” 

(Could see Rachel. Could maybe work with Rachel, when if, if, if she gets good enough. Could maybe prove she’s worth a lot more than plastic hearts and a fuck in the dark, in a truck stop.  

More than some guy. Some fucking guy.) 

“That’s where you go to get famous, isn’t it?” She shrugs, takes another hit. She chases it down with a chug of beer. Something slow and heavy begins to swim down the bloodstreams of her arms. “Got L.A.” 

“New York’s good, too. Farther away from here.” 

“Trade one shithole for a rathole?” 

Nathan laughs and wiggles his head. “New York’s got a good art scene. When we head there, you’ll see.” 

Victoria could see it if she tried. But every vision that comes to mind has the shadow of long hair and feather earring and she takes a hit off her joint deep enough that she almost chokes.  

“Whatever. New York, then.” 

“Party scene’s wild there, too. If that’ll sell it to you.” 

“Sure. Yeah.” She finishes her joint, halves her beer, and bobs her head (something’s swimming in there, blonde and heavy) as she asks, “got any more weed?” 

Nathan’s lounging back, eyes half-closed. “Bookshelf. Dig around in there.” 

Victoria stands up, slow, sluggish, smiling, and heads to the bookshelf. Molly, last time, was packed up between Maier and Moriyama (for M, because they’re classy, they’re artsy like that.) She checks there first and starts rifling through tomes when she finds nothing.  

Arbus. Cartier-Bresson. Leibovitz. Warhol—Victoria finds a pinched-up baggie that she pulls out. With the reckless motion, out slides a photograph. She sees the pattern on the tail-end of a feather printed on the corner of the photo and she pulls the rest of it out without another thought, mouth falling open.  

Rachel’s eyes are glazed in the picture, almost sleepy. Her hair is mussed. She’s lain her head on a clean slip of floor and the shot makes her face tranquil, an imperfect replica of a saint. A breathtaking art piece, the madonna on the floor, defenseless, frozen in time, submissive.

Her brain sluggishly registers her mouth asking the question. “Where’s Rachel?” 

She hears Nathan hum first, distant and dreamy. And then a can clatters, and Nathan’s stomping footsteps boom loud in her ears. She snatches the photo from reach before he could grab it.  

“Vic, fucking put that back—” 

“Do you know where she is?” Her voice, gravelly, couldn’t come out louder than a whisper. Her throat hurts. Her chest is constricting. When she steps back she can feel her knees shaking. She’s fighting through clouds in her head, trying to look for and eat up light and clarity. She scowls at Nathan. “Wh—when’d you take this—” 

“I’m warning you, Vic. Give it back—” 

“Fucking—where—” 

Nathan lunges. The back of Victoria’s head knocks against the wall and she thrashes, clips him hard on the cheek with her nails. Someone screams. He does. She does. They do. The photo crumples in her fingers and Nathan nigh-crushes her throat under his. Victoria gasps, claws at his wrist. Peels back skin and draws blood 

and rips open his armor, skewers into his open sore “daddy’s little freak where the fuck is Rachel” 

and feels it when he tears open hers, reaching into the disgusting abscess of her soul “what are you some kind of dyke you fucking cunt no wonder nobody wants you” 

and the cloud is receding over their heads, puts in frightening focus the mess of Nathan’s room and the blood on his cheek. The shadows as deep as chambers under his eyes that twitch when Victoria digs her nails deeper into his wrist.  

Nathan’s grip is tight on her throat. The roof of her skull is ascending. She coughs. Kicks forward, and when Nathan keels back she lunges at him. Takes him down. Presses her forearm hard down his neck 

pulse there goes hard like tick-tick-tick and Nathan’s got tears in his eyes and Victoria feels like crying nothing about this feels good anymore 

and bites out, pleads, begs, “where’s Rachel? Nate, where’d she go—” 

Nathan slaps her first. When she doesn’t let up, he grips the underside of her jaw, pushes it up, up, up, grunting, wheezing. Victoria digs her knee hard into his diaphragm and he gasps. His grip trembles. “Get—get off me—” 

“You’re gonna tell me—” 

“I don’t know!”  

Ripping further into the drug haze and wounds and a tick-tick-tick “you lying fucking pussy like you lie to your dad about taking your pills you think I’m gonna believe you” 

“you think you’re someone worth lying to bitch you’re not even someone worth telling the truth to no one should be talking to you” 

tick-tick-tick 

“if I killed you right here no one would care” 

“if you killed me right here and bragged about it no one would believe you you’re that pathetic” 

tick-tick-tick 

“think you’re cool with that gun but if you showed everybody that they’d think you’re just going to kill yourself with it than do a fucking school shooting you fucking pussy” 

“bible thumper’s got more fans than you you saw that video right you fucking shot it yourself people were lining right up have you ever seen that happen to you” 

tick-tick-tick 

“you should die” 

“you should die” 

tick-tick-tick

“fuck you”

“fuck you”  

Victoria can’t breathe. Can’t see. Her tears drip on Nathan’s chin and she tries again, breaths hitching. “Where’s Rachel? Where’d she go?” 

He’s crying. Sobbing. The entire skeleton of him quavers under Victoria like trash in the wind and he lets go of her jaw, claws into the collar of her shirt. “I don’t know, I swear I don’t know—” 

They give. Victoria topples to the side and Nathan sits up, holding his neck, breaths deep and wet and rushing. Rachel’s photo is crumpled, ripped, ruined. Just like everything they touch. Everything they dare to feel whatever they call love for.  

(Like everything that’s going to be within distance when they tick-tick-boom) 

The descent bogs Victoria’s movements down. She shuffles to her feet and starts hunting around garbage on the floor for her sweats. To hide the welts. Put the armor back on. Bleed quietly under it. Nathan crawls toward his bed and settles for his blanket, pulling it around his shoulders to hide his arms.  

Victoria’s swaying. She has enough sense to pick up the ruined photo and its pieces, approach, and drop it all by Nathan’s knee. Rachel’s face is wrinkled right at the center. Her throat has been torn off.  

They stare at one another. Wound to wound. Dirt to dirt. Victoria opens her mouth first.

“Where is she?”

Like before, like a broken voice through a shut door, “I don’t know. I wish I did. I don’t know.”

Victoria’s breathing, clicking, ticking tick-tick-tick. She swallows, “fine,” and nudges his knee with a foot. “Gonna call me when you got some good stuff?” 

Nathan sniffs. Wipes his face down with the blanket. “Yeah. Whatever.” 

(Come back next time for the poison for the high for the tick-tick-tick because who else who else who else would want to understand this) 

She dries her face as best she could and leaves, steps sluggish in the night. In her room, in front of the mirror, she sees herself (sees Nathan) sees shadows and the light bruise on her cheek (sees wounds sees pus sees something disgusting) and breathes in, digging around for any leftover good good good in her body.  

What she gets is tick-tick-tick.  

She raises her hand. Curls it to a fist 

tick 

tick 

and drives it right at the center of where her face is in the mirror. It shatters. In there now is only red.

boom 

ghostexe anon here. hi i will always love your writing (cyberpunk wip's are great). but i lowkey miss the old days of you writing some truly fucked up stuff

wanna see me put so mi through a fuck ton of body and existential angst and tech-savvy v add to it w her severe machine fetish

[peace-in-the-commonwealth]

Gigabytes and Coffee

{Alanna Raven} It was nine in the morning and Detective Raven finally got off a 12 hour shift. Alanna placed her free hand on her forehead while the other held her usual coffee, Iced Vanilla Coffee, with 6 cream 6 sugar. Alanna rubbed her temple and sighed "Damn you Eddie Winter..." She whispered as she took a sip of her coffee. "Just 20 more minutes and I'll be home" she said as she began walking towards the coffee shop door, eyes closed from her building headache. @sentinel-deadshot