#nat scatorccio x female reader

[rhiannonsknife]

okay but what about fwb between r and nat? them hooking up to forget lottie and jackie (it does not work ofc but they kinda into it) and maybe, just maybee jackie finds out and is mad jealous.

okay okay here’s the thing i feel like the reader in our little ‘secretly hooking up with jackie’ universe would be too devoted for a fwb situation with nat. BUT! i kinda love this idea, so here we are!! nsfw so mdni!

so, this whole thing would start off as a bad idea altogether. it’d be nat who suggests it:

you’re both sitting on the hood of your car in the school parking lot, the late-night sky stretching above you. it’s quiet, save for the distant hum of cars on the highway. the party you’d both escaped is still raging a few blocks away, but neither of you felt like staying. watching jackie this close to jeff for half the night had been enough to ruin your mood, and nat had only come as your plus one anyway.

now, you’re sipping a disgustingly warm beer, watching her as she stares off into the distance, her knee bouncing restlessly. you immediately know why; you weren’t the only one with your eyes glued onto someone you could not have all throughout the night.

“feels like we’re fucking invisible huh?” nat snorts, taking a drag from her cigarette.

you glance at her, momentarily stunned by the vulnerability in her voice. “yeah” you admit.

she turns to look at you then, her sharp edges dulled by the glow of the streetlamp overhead. “at least we’re in the same boat,”

you smile faintly, shrugging. “guess so…”

nat’s gaze drops to her lap, and she mumbles, almost too quiet to hear, “maybe we could just help each other out…?”

you raise an eyebrow. “what do you mean?”

you know what she means. you also know nat had some drinks tonight, but not enough to suggest something like that without genuinely meaning it.

“you know…“ she says, flicking off her cigarette. “forget about them for a while”

ypu take a moment to consider this. the idea settles in your chest, not entirely unwelcome. it’s reckless and messy and doomed to go wrong at some point. but maybe that’s why you don’t hate it. “you’re serious?”

nat smirks, her usual confidence returning as she raises an eyebrow at you. “why not? not gonna chicken out, are you?”

this challenge is all it takes.

the first time, it’s rushed and awkward. you’re tangled up in the backseat of your car, her hands fumbling with your shirt as you bump elbows and stifle nervous laughter.

it’s not romantic, getting fucked by her in the cramped space. not even close. but it’s enough.

it’s good: feeling the touch of somebody who’s not jackie (though you can’t help but think of her as nat finally slides her fingers into you after taking way too long to get the rings off her fingers). and nat knows what she’s doing: though she’s not who you actually want, there’s no awkwardness in the way she puts her mouth on you, like there certainly would’ve been with jackie. she expertly sucks on your clit and fucks her fingers into you at just the right pace. she doesn’t tell you to be quiet, either, instead hums encouragingly every time you moan for her. she doesn’t mind it when it’s jackie’s name you’re calling as you cum.

it’s enough to make you forget the ache in your chest, the way jackie had smiled at jeff when she kisses him. enough to chase away nat’s frustration of watching lottie from afar.

“this is…weird, right?” you ask afterward, breathless and sprawled across the worn leather seat, panties not yet back in place.

“totally,” nat agrees, lighting a cigarette and grinning lazily. “but not bad, right?” she inhales from it with your arousal still smeared across the lower half of her face.

you laugh, shaking your head, and she offers you the cigarette. you take it, your fingers brushing hers briefly. for the first time in a long while, you feel something other than invisible.

“still thinking about her?” you ask as you roll one of the windows down.

“still thinking about her,” nat admits. “you?”

“yeah”

it becomes a habit. a reckless, self-destructive habit. whenever jackie’s hand lingers on jeff’s arm a little too long or lottie flashes that radiant smile at someone who isn’t nat, you find each other. sometimes it’s the backseat of your car like that first time; sometimes it’s your empty house after school, or the locker rooms after practice.

of course, no matter how many times you and nat find solace in each other, jackie is still jackie, and lottie is still lottie. still, you don’t stop. it’s too easy to fall into this routine, too easy to let yourselves drown in something that feels good when everything else feels so impossibly hard.

nat is unapologetic, her hands rough but sure. the way she moves, with such confidence, pulls you out of your own head in a way that nothing else seems to these days. there’s no tenderness in what you’re doing, there’s no space for it. it’s all urgency and frustration, a way to keep the feelings you don’t want to name at bay.

jackie remains a constant presence in your thoughts, even when you’re tangled up with nat. you see her in flashes: her perfect laugh, her hair catching the sunlight during practice, the way she chews her pen when she’s bored in class. every time nat’s lips trail down your neck or her hands slide under your shirt, jackie’s face flickers behind your eyelids.

it’s not that nat doesn’t notice. she’s not stupid. but she doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. she’ll hear the way jackie’s names will slip from your lips. so do you, when you’re inside her.

but that’s not what this is about.

the two of you don’t talk much afterward, either. nat will light a cigarette and offer you one and you’ll sit side by side in silence. there’s a strange comfort in the routine anyway. in knowing that someone else understands what it’s like to want something (or someone) you can’t have.

it all falls apart when jackie finds out.

it’s after practice, the locker room mostly empty. nat had lingered, as usual, waiting for you to finish up so you could sneak off together. she’d leaned against the lockers, smirking as she watched you tie your shoes.

“what’re you doing later?” she asked casually, stepping closer.

you shrugged, glancing up at her. “why?”

nat grinned, her tongue poking the inside of her cheek. “just thought we could hang out” she said, leaning in closer and shifting from side to side.

it has become too easy to fall into the banter. to let your hand slide up to her hip as she towers above you.

only that jackie was still there then. that she’s heard everything. and that she’s bursting in now that she’s seen enough.

“what the fuck is this?”

her voice cuts you off and both you and nat snap out of it. jackie steps out from around the corner, her arms crossed and her expression a mix of confusion and anger.

“jackie-” you start.

her eyes only flicker between you and nat, her jaw tightening. “so this is why you’ve been so weird lately? sneaking around with her?”

nat rolls her eyes, stepping forward with her own arms crossed. “what’s it to you, taylor? you’ve got jeff, don’t you?”

“that’s not the point” jackie snaps instantly, not even bothering to look over at her. “i trusted you!”

“jackie it’s not like that”

“then what is it like?” she demands. “because it looks pretty clear to me!”

you open your mouth to explain, but no words come out. how do you tell her that it was always her? that no matter what you do with nat, it is jackie who haunts your thoughts, jackie who you want more than anything?

nat steps in then, her voice sharp. “look, maybe you should ask yourself why you care so much. you’ve got everything you want, right? why does this even bother you?”

jackie glares at her, her eyes blazing. “stay out of this,” she hisses.

“stay out of what? you’re the one who’s making this a whole thing!”

“you don’t get it. this isn’t about you!” she points a trembling finger at nat before turning back to you. “but you…how could you do this?” jackie doesn’t wait for an answer. “i thought i knew you,” she says, her voice quieter now, laced with something dangerously close to hurt.

“jackie, wait-“ you take another step toward her, but she backs away, shaking her head.

“don’t,” she snaps. “just…don’t.” her voice cracks again, and for a moment, it looks like she might say something else. but then she turns on her heel and storms out of the locker room, her footsteps echoing in the hollow space.

the door slams shut, and the silence that follows is deafening.

nat exhales sharply, dragging a hand through her hair. “well. that went great”

you shoot her a glare, but it’s half-hearted. the fight has gone out of you, leaving only an ache in its place. “this isn’t funny.”

“wasn’t trying to be,” nat mutters, but there’s a flicker of something in her eyes. guilt, maybe? “look, she’ll cool off. just give her some time!”

[fleuriosas]

rockstar!natalie scatorccio headcanons

natalie scatorccio x gn!reader

content: modern au, nothing but fluff, no use of y/n

an: hiii this is my first time writing i hope i did a good job!! ik it’s v short but i’ll be posting more soon trust💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 this isn’t proofread

rockstar!nat who performs in random locations like parks, clubs, basements etc. with her band

rockstar!nat who invites you to all her shows and gives you tickets for spots that are right upfront so she knows exactly where you are, stealing glances every now and then

rockstar!nat who’s the bassist and lead singer of her band

rockstar!nat who was performing in a park near your university, and of course, she gave you and the girls tickets that were for the front row

rockstar!nat who’s written quite a few songs about you and your relationship with her, she and her band actually performed two or three of them on stage

rockstar!nat who looked so hot in the leather jacket, tank top, plaid skirt, red tights, and black doc martens you helped her pick for tonight, the smoky eye she did tying the whole look together

rockstar!nat who got distracted when you smiled at her from the crowd, making her get all flustered and miss a few of her parts. she may act tough, but inside, she’s just a big softie :3

rockstar!nat who amazed everyone in the audience with her bass playing skills and vocals, they all were jumping and singing along for the entire duration of the concert

rockstar!nat who ran into your arms as soon as she stepped foot off stage, giving you a quick peck on the lips, hers forming into a toothy grin soon after

“was i good?? i sang some of the songs i wrote for you!!”, she asked you that as if she weren’t aware of the fact that you were staring at her in awe the whole time while she was performing. she loves when you praise her, which is why she constantly fishes for compliments, even though she doesn’t need to because she knows that she’s one hell of a musician. despite you knowing about this trick of hers, somehow, you always seem to give in, “you were amazing as always, nat!!”

rockstar!nat who everyone has eyes for, but only has eyes for you

[angeluvvs]

𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴: somebody else by the 1975

masterlist!

series

𖦹 ₊˚ tslocg -

taylor x ash, good luck, babe! (coming soon)

oneshots

𖦹 ₊˚ tslocg -

taylor x ash, with a shot of.. ☕️

｡⋆୨୧˚ yellowjackets -

jackie taylor x reader, absolute sweetheart 🐇

jackie taylor x reader, important to me (coming soon)

꒦꒷⩩ i am not okay with this -

sydney novak x reader, you wanna learn? 💋

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ stranger things -

robin buckley x reader, don't miss me ☀️

. ⊹ ࣪˖ gwen stacy -

nothing.. yet!

☁︎｡⋆｡ jinx -

nothing.. yet!

have a great day, great night, or a great life! <3

@strangergraphics @cafekitsune for the dividers

@pngblog for the images

[kvhasproblems]

Request Rules + Info

I am the slowest writer ever so requests may take a while but I’ll try my best lol. Also please be as descriptive in your request as possible!

Rules:

- fem or gender neutral reader only (no men ew)

- no smut (for now)

- you can request character x character but again no men

- i wont write anything will graph depictions of rape, eating disorders or self harm

- wont write anything with cheating

- if I am uncomfortable with a request I’ll probs just ignore it

Characters I’ll write for:

- Van Palmer

- Nat Scatorccio

- Ellie Williams

- Dina

- Daisy Johnson

- you can request other characters and I’ll try my best but these are who I’m most confident writing for

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

knight nat and princess reader in a medieval au. I need it 😣

Silk Chiffon

A/N: Anon. ANON. I literally love this. And you. Princesses are like... my fave. How could I not think of this. I'm obsessed. Thank you. Also i'm so sorry it took so long i started writing like as soon as I got the ask and then promptly lost all motivation. Ends kind of abruptly so if anyone wants a part two you should let me know!

Summary: your father appointed a new head knight to protect you.

Pairing: Knight!Nat x Princess!Reader

Warning(s): not historically accurate (I'm not even sure what period this would be okay let me live)

Word Count: 4.2k

--------------------------------------------------------

Slowly, you walked through the corridor to the throne room. Your father had requested your presence, as today he was appointing a new head guard for you. Supposedly, this knight was the best in the land, and as sole heir, you needed the best protection possible.

You round the corner into the throne room and float up to your parents, giving them a curtsy before taking a seat in your own throne. Once you get comfortable, you smooth out the emerald green fabric of your gown, making sure there are no visible wrinkles in it. You don't want to make a bad impression on the person who is supposed to keep you safe.

Before long, a single knight entered the room. You couldn't see too well, unable to discern what the knight looked like. All you could see was blonde hair, so bright it looked unnatural.

As the figure got closer, you were able to see more of what they looked like. And something quickly became clear to you.

Your new guard was a girl.

A really, really beautiful girl.

You almost broke into a smile, but you controlled yourself. Act too excited, and your father would be suspicious. He was probably already upset that your new knight was a woman.

"Who are you?" Your father asked as the woman approached his throne.

Before responding, she looked you straight in the eyes and dropped into a curtsy, holding eye contact the entire time. When she spoke, her words were confident, and she seemed incredibly sure of herself.

"I'm Princess y/n's new guard. You requested the finest knight in Italy, and here I am." Her voice was on the deeper side, and the raspiness of it nearly made you swoon. How you were going to live with this woman nearly 24/7 was a mystery to you.

"I was informed that a Sir Nathaniel Scatorccio would be arriving today. You don't appear to be him. No female knight could be the best." Your father was clearly upset. You knew he only wanted what was best for you, especially since your mother had passed. But you wanted this girl to stay.

"You received what you requested. The best knight is me. The ink must have smudged on the letter. My first name is Natalie, not Nathaniel."

Natalie. What a pretty name.

After a moment, you spoke up. "Father, I say let the girl stay. We have the rest of the royal guard. If she is truly the best, we shall have more protection. If she is not, the rest of the guard has been specially trained to keep us safe."

Your father thought for a minute before he responded.

"I see no harm in that. The girl can stay. But she will go through royal guard training to prepare her for the task of protecting you. I do not care that she has been trained already. You need someone who has been trained for your safety and yours alone."

You smile at Natalie when your father finishes speaking.

"Well then, we should get you settled in."

--------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, you found yourself watching Natalie through your dressing room window as she did her training. She moved like water, even with her heavy armor on. You were hopeful that she was as good as she said she was. It would be harder for you to convince your father to keep her around if she wasn't adept.

You heard the door to the room open, and you quickly turned away from the window. In walked your lady-in-waiting and closest friend, Lottie.

"Staring again? That is the second day in a row that I've caught you at that window. And it has only started since that new knight appeared." She smiles as she begins preparing your gown for the day. It's a floral purple thing, not nearly as heavy as your green one from the other day. You didn't have anything important today, so you got to stay inside.

"What? I cannot gaze across the courtyard anymore?" You scoff and walk towards Lottie. The attempt at haughtiness is futile, however, as a bright crimson blush has spread across your cheeks.

"Princess Y/n, I cannot tell you what to do. I can tell you that you should not become too attached. She is a knight. You are a princess. You are expected to marry and she is expected to protect you. There is no epic love story for the two of you, at least not now."

You sigh as Lottie begins dressing you. You know you would never be able to openly be with Natalie. But there was no harm in watching her train.

"I'm sorry to upset you. I just wish you would be more careful. You don't know how Natalie may react." She finishes lacing up your corset and moves to begin putting your dress on.

"It is innocent enough that I am just watching her train. I don't anticipate anything more happening."

Lottie smiles at you as the dress goes on, and you huff.

"Be careful, Y/n. That is all I ask."

"I'm always careful."

--------------------------------------------------------

Natalie sat down on a bench in the courtyard, exhausted. She was used to extensive training, sure, but this was something different entirely. The days were long, and not to mention her lack of sleep from being in a new place. The only thing that made anything worth it was the food.

And you. But she wasn't thinking about that right now. She didn't have time for a silly infatuation with the princess. She had work to do.

It's not like the both of you could be together, anyways. She was a royal knight, and you were a princess expected to marry a prince.

Suddenly, a figure blocked the sunlight. She looked up to see who it was, and lo and behold, it was you. The girl she was just thinking of.

"Good afternoon. I'd like to request that you join me for supper. I believe that if you are to be my personal guard, we should get to know each other. I expect to see you there at seven. No later." Your tone was a bit demanding, but you smiled down at her, trying to put her at ease.

"I suppose I can't decline this invitation?" She asks, and your face falls a bit. You quickly recover, however, sure she's just worried about dining with your father.

"No, I'm quite sorry. It is mandatory. However, I may ease your worries. My father will not be joining us, as he is away in another kingdom. I know not what for, only that he will be away for a fortnight." You stand there, patiently waiting for her to respond.

"Seven. I will see you then."

--------------------------------------------------------

"This is not one of your better ideas, Princess," Lottie warned, helping you change into a bit more formal of a dress for your dinner.

"Don't be ridiculous. It is completely innocent. I would like to know the girl." While what you said to Lottie was technically true. However, you had a slight ulterior motive for your dinner.

"You can claim innocence all you want, but you don't watch a girl the way you've been watching her without having some kind of feelings for her." Lottie began smoothing the silk of your skirt. The dress you had chosen was a soft pink thing with ornate embroidered detailing across the bodice. The neck dipped down low enough to show off your cleavage.

"I'm finished with this conversation. Nothing I say will convince you, and I'm tired of hearing advice."

"Luckily for you, you're finished here. Your dinner begins in five minutes. I may suggest you make haste."

With that, you shot Lottie a small smile and hurried out of your dressing room and towards the dining hall. As you approached the room, you slowed down. You didn't want to come rushing in and look improper.

You almost float into the room, it doesn't even look like you're walking at all. Natalie isn't there when you arrive, which gives you the opportunity to sit and prepare yourself for her presence. You sit down at the head of the table and smooth out your skirt.

It's five minutes after seven before Natalie comes rushing into the dining room, her hair a mess and clothes rumpled. Her attire was certainly not fit for a royal supper, and neither was her decorum, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. You were just glad she showed up at all.

"You're late," you say, before remembering that you want her to like you. "No matter. Please, sit here, next to me."

She does as requested, and you can't help but smile. She truly looks wonderful, no matter how messy she appears.

"I'm sorry that I came later than requested. I lost track of time. I didn't want to keep you waiting, Princess."

"No matter. You're here now." You turn to one of the many servants standing near the table. "Could you please bring us our soup? Thank you."

The woman scurried off to bring you the first part of your supper, and you turn over to Natalie. She wasn't in a dress, which honestly didn't surprise you. The royal guard was never in dresses, why should Natalie have to be?

"So, how did you come to be such a fine knight? As far as I was aware, women couldn't become knights."

"Usually they can't. But my asshole of a dad wanted me out of his hair, so he dressed me up as a boy and sent me away." She seems unbothered by this, and you have to stifle a gasp when she curses in front of you. How could this girl be a royal knight and not understand the proper etiquette for dining with a princess?

"And no one thought to check if you were a boy? What happened when you grew up? Clearly they did not just throw you out." As you finish your sentence, a maid brings you both your soup. You smile at the girl and turn back to Natalie, anticipating her answer

"By the time it was clear I wasn't a boy, I had already become one of the most skilled knights in my order. I was better than men twice my age, and no one was willing to kick me out." She shrugs and slurps at her soup. You try not to cringe. Of course, it's not her fault. She wasn't raised the same way a typical girl would have been. You try your best to lead by example, taking small mouthfuls of the soup, barely making any sort of noise at all.

Honestly, you found her demeanor quite endearing. The way she didn't seem to care at all what others thought of her. It seemed freeing. You wished you had the ability to do that. Instead, you were forced to be the epitome of excellence, and nothing less than perfect. It was exhausting.

You couldn't complain too much, you knew. Plenty of people in your kingdom had it much worse. You had a roof over your head and plenty of food. You just also yearned for a bit more freedom.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly, and Natalie kept up the conversation well. She seemed kind, if a little blunt. When you both had finished eating, she offered to walk with you to your chambers. Of course, you obliged. She was your personal guard, how could you say no?

You walked together to your quarters, and it took all of your strength not to ask her for her entire life story. You're sure she would tell you if you asked, but you want her to volunteer the information herself.

"There you are, Princess." she stopped and opened the door to your room, bowing as she did so.

In that moment, you were so enamored with her that you had no way of stopping yourself. Slowly, you leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. Natalie looked shocked, and as soon as you saw the look on her face, you started to apologize profusely.

"Oh, I apologize. I must have misread the situation. You mustn't tell anyone. I'm so so-" she cuts you off by pressing her own lips to yours. Her lips are rough, but she kisses you gently. Like she's worried about breaking you.

Natalie softly shuts the door and you pull her further into the room, never breaking the kiss. She's definitely sure of herself, and she easily takes control of your kiss. You make no moves to stop her, content to let this play out however she wants it to.

Eventually, you break the kiss in order to breathe, and she's looking at you like you're the most beautiful thing she's ever laid eyes on. You smile, and she returns it before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips yet again.

"I should get back to the knight's quarters."

Your face falls, and she gives you a half sympathetic look.

"I'll see you in the morning, Princess. I'm not leaving you forever." She grins, turning to leave. You grab her wrist to stop her, pleading with your eyes.

"Stay here with me tonight. That's an order."

"Princess Y/n. Your father-"

"Isn't here and won't be back for at least another couple of days. No one will find out, and even if someone did no one would tell my father. Stay here. Please."

Natalie seems to struggle internally for a moment before ultimately deciding that she does want to stay with you. She nods, and immediately you kiss her again.

--------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, you wake up tangled in both Natalie and the plethora of blankets occupying your bed. For the first time in a very long time, you felt safe and content. You make no move to get up, feeling no need to move away from the warmth of the girl lying next to you.

Natalie appeared to still be asleep, her hair fanned out on the pillow she was lying on. She looked beautiful like that, vulnerable in a way that you'd never seen her before. You reach out to move a piece of her hair away from her face, and she smiles in her sleep.

After a few more moments of sleep, Natalie begins to stir awake.

"Good morning, Princess." Her voice is deep and groggy, and you swear your eyes are the shape of hearts. She rolls out of your bed and proceeds to get dressed in her clothes from the night before. You stay in your bed, knowing there's not really a need for you to get up. Lottie would be in to get you dressed, and Natalie didn't need help with her clothing.

When she finished dressing, she sat down next to you on the edge of the bed.

"I should really get back to the other knights. But I have a free hour this afternoon. I can find you then." She presses a kiss to your cheek, and you nod, smiling. Natalie smiles back before leaving your quarters, closing the door behind her.

You sit in silence, knowing Lottie won't be too long. Sure enough, only a few minutes after Natalie had left, Lottie opens the door to your room, carrying your dress for the day.

"Did I happen to see Natalie leaving just now?" She clearly knows the answer to that question, but she wants to give you the opportunity to tell her the truth.

"Yes." You don't offer her any more than that, and you can tell she wants to pry further. However, she knows that you aren't going to tell her anything unless you want to.

"Be careful, Princess."

"You have said that to me so many times that it's stopped having any sort of meaning." You stand up, walking over to where Lottie stands with your gown for today.

She sighs and begins to undress you. You know how Lottie feels about your breaking of the rules, but she knows she can't stop you. Not without alerting your father, at least, and she doesn't want to hurt you like that.

She finishes dressing you and gives you a look. One you know is telling you to be careful. You just scoff at her as she leaves.

--------------------------------------------------------

The next few weeks are spent watching Natalie train during the day, and sneaking around with her at night. Neither of you are often free in the daytime, but all of your evenings are spent together. Your father assures you that Natalie will soon be done training and she will start guarding you around the clock. For now, though, you just have to deal with not seeing her all the time.

Your father has also started to speak to you about marriage. Every time he starts, you change the subject. But you know that the discussion of your marriage is inevitable. It's expected that you marry by eighteen, and that birthday had already came and went. Your father had been generous in letting you have another year. But your nineteenth birthday was approaching. You had to be married soon.

It was midafternoon, and you were wandering the palace grounds, waiting for Natalie to finish training. Suddenly, Lottie appeared beside you.

"Princess, your the king requests you in the throne room. He wants to discuss something with you." You know it's about marriage, and you know you can't avoid the discussion this time. You nod, following Lottie as she leads you back into the palace and into the room with your father.

"Y/n. I've found a suitable match for you. A prince the next kingdom over. He's quite handsome, from what I gather, and your marriage will be the perfect economic and militaristic move. His father and I have arranged the wedding already. The two of you will be married within the next year." He's firm, and you know there's no use in arguing. You're going to be married, and you're going to pretend to like it.

How were you going to tell Natalie?

"Thank you, Father. I understand. What must I do to prepare?"

"Dress fittings, of course, but that is the only thing that you must be directly involved in. Between both kingdoms, we have enough staff to plan the entire wedding. You'll be meeting your future husband in two weeks. Prepare yourself, and be on your best behavior."

"Of course, Father. I would never want to make a bad impression on the man I am to marry," you pause, meeting your father's eyes for the first time during this exchange, "May I be excused?"

"Yes. You are free to go."

You leave the room to immediately go find Natalie. She should be done with her training by now, and you need to tell her about this before she finds out from someone else.

As you round the corner, you almost run directly into Natalie. Her hair is mussed from training, and she's covered in sweat. Somehow, though, you still have to resist the urge to kiss her.

"Oh! Lovely, you're here. Walk with me, please, Natalie." You give her a look that she knows to mean that you really need to talk with her in private. She quickly obliges, holding out her arm for you to take. Immediately, you take it and she starts walking.

Once you're far enough away from the palace for anyone to be listening, she turns to you and gives an inquiring look.

"I'm getting married," you blurt, wanting to get the news off your chest as quickly as possible.

"What? When? When did you learn this?" She sounds completely angry, which you understand. You'd hate hearing this news if it was coming from her.

"Within the next year. My father didn't give me an exact date. But I know it to be soon. I just found out myself. You are the first I've told. In good news, as you are my personal guard, we won't be separated." You wring your hands as you speak, trying not to cry, hoping Natalie isn't angry with you.

"Why did you agree to this?" She's bewildered, and still clearly a bit angry. Of course.

"I do not have the sort of freedoms you do, Natalie. You can marry any man you want, or even choose not to marry. I, on the other hand, must marry whatever man my father chooses for me. I cannot simply say no, nor can I ask to see another option. This is my life. I apologize for hurting you, but there's nothing I can do." You look up at her, tears in your eyes. You don't want this to end.

When she sees you tear up, she immediately softens.

"No, love. I should apologize. I know that this isn't any fault of yours." She cups your face in her hands, and you can't help but smile. "What if we leave?" she asks, and she looks so hopeful.

"I can take you away from here. We can start a life in a village far from here, and we could be happy. You wouldn't have to marry, you wouldn't have to be a princess anymore."

You want to say yes immediately, but something holds you back. You have no idea how to live anywhere but a palace. You have no profitable skills, and neither does Natalie. There's also the high risk of being found out and being brought back to your father and being forced to marry anyway.

But then you look at Natalie, and she looks so hopeful, so confident that this can work, that you can't say no.

"When would we leave? Where would we go? How would we support ourselves?"

"We could leave tonight. I know when the guard changes, and we could sneak away when no one is looking. There was this beautiful little village I passed through when I was young, it's two kingdoms away and no one would know who you are. Y/n, I don't want to watch you marry that man. Please, please leave with me."

It doesn't take any more than that for you to nod, confirming that you will leave with her.

"Okay. I'll come get you tonight around the time that the guard changes. We'll take a horse, and you should gather as many valuables as you can to sell. Don't take anything that is too easily traceable, we don't want jewels to be the reason you're caught. The journey will take a few days, so I'll gather food from the cooks." She pauses, and you nod. "Now, listen. Wear something unassuming, and we must cut your hair once we get far enough away from the palace. You're very recognizable, and we want to limit that as much as possible."

You take all of this in, and nod again.

"Okay."

--------------------------------------------------------

That night, you sit awaiting Natalie. You have only a small bag with you, filled with food and jewels. Nothing that doesn't already belong to you, of course. It feels wrong enough to take the jewelry that's rightfully yours.

There's also a couple sets of underclothes, which are the most unassuming thing you own. Everything else is too elaborate and heavy to even try to take with you. You were really going to miss some of those gowns. But this was more important. You'd rather have Natalie than silly dresses.

You didn't tell anyone you were leaving, not even Lottie. Part of you feels bad, but you know that she'd try to convince you to stay. Or she'd cave and tell your father, which you didn't want either. You did leave a note, detailing that you left and not to come looking for you. Although, it was unlikely that anyone would actually heed your instructions. Someone would assume that you were kidnapped and forced to write that note.

No matter. This plan was going to work. You were going to leave with Natalie, and the two of you would have a wonderful life together.

Soon, there was a sharp knock at your door. Natalie. It was time. You open the door to find her standing there, grinning wickedly.

"No one's at the posts now, and they shouldn't be for the next ten minutes. Let's go." She holds out her hand, and you take it.

Immediately, the two of you are racing through the corridors and down flights upon flights of stairs. You make it to the stables, and Natalie helps you get up onto a horse. Her horse, you assume.

She follows suit, sitting in front of you.

"Hold on, Princess." You grip her waist, and soon, the two of you are off. She's right, there aren't any guards in their towers, and it's easy to ride the horse across the castle grounds and into the woods.

The two of you ride in silence for a while, still at a gallop in an attempt to make it as far from the castle as possible while still under the cover of night. Neither of you wants to be caught, not when you've already made it this far.

You rest your head between Natalie's shoulder blades, and she laughs.

"Don't fall asleep on me, Princess."

"You shouldn't call me princess anymore, as I am not one."

She laughs again, and you smile.

"You're still a princess. But I understand. I won't call you princess any more, especially in public. We don't want to be found out."

You hum your assent, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence yet again.

"Thank you," you mumble, pressing a kiss to Natalie's shoulder.

She squeezes one of your hands, already knowing what you're thanking her for.

"Of course."

[tomhorsery]

Could you also do nat relationship headcanons after they were rescued but you were there too in the plane crash and wilderness

Natalie Scatorccio headcanons

Natalie Scatorccio x Female! Reader

Warnings: minor nsfw, drugs.

Content under the cut -

—————————————————————————

• After she was rescued, she had you over at her trailer often. She felt like her only way to cope with what happened was sex, and weed.

• She acts like she’s fine. Like nothing happened. But pretty much everyone can tell that she’s hurting.

• She is horrible at taking care of herself. Her entire room is littered with empty alcohol bottles and takeout boxes.

• She isn’t even able to get out of bed most days. She seems listless and disinterested in everything around her. It’s depressing.

• Eventually, after months of this, she started to become distant. She stopped talking to you. Stopped smiling and laughing. Stopped making jokes, and stopped inviting you over.

• You tried to visit, but she never answered the door. You always seemed to be the one who was pushed away by what had happened, not her.

• It broke your heart when she began to ignore you.

• This went on for months and months, u til randomly, one night, there was a knock on your door. You opened it, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off and leave you alone, when you saw who it was.

• It was Natalie. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, which was strange because she never cried in public. She looked tired. Not physically tired – but emotionally exhausted.

• So stupidly, you invited her into your house. “Do you want anything to drink? I can go run and get you some water.”

• You didn’t know how long she wanted to stay. But at this point you didn’t seem to care either way.

• That night, she slept curled up against you, as if clinging onto your warmth could keep her safe from the terrible things that had happened to her.

• The next day, she was gone. As though she had never been there.

• After that, she randomly stopped by your house just to hook up then fall asleep. This didn’t feel like love anymore. It felt like you were trying to console her, to make her feel better and less lonely. You weren’t sure if it was working or not, but it was something.

• The thing is, you never got to cope yourself. You immediately had to go back into the work force to buy more shit for Natalie to help her feel better.

• Why did you do it? Because deep down, you thought you would end up alone too.

• At night you would have deep talks with Natalie about what happened out in the wilderness. About all the shit she had to deal with. The shit she still dealt with. About how scared she was of being abandoned, left behind. You helped her cope.

• She opened up about feeling numb recently

. How she couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened, about how she hated what they had to do to survive.

• You agreed. You hated it, too. You said you understood, that she wasn’t alone. You would never let her be alone ever again.

—————————————————————————

Yellowjackets requests: OPEN!

—————————————————————————

[mvlders222]

hii, could you write about Natalie scatorccio and a reader with anxiety problems?

I know it's a sensitive topic and I will understand if you don't want to write about this.

(sorry if I don't express myself well, English is not my native language)

a/n; hi!! thank you for the request. i hope i wrote this well and to your liking. reader's gender is female. i have a handful of people in my life with clinical anxiety, but i also did my research before diving into this topic. if the way i describe these feelings isn't accurate, please let me know so i can edit/rewrite this fic.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

pairing ; natalie scatorccio x fem!reader

wordcount ; 1.1k

summary ; nat invites you to one more party, and you typically never accept. she reasons that this would be the last one before your guys’ flight tomorrow for nationals. this however doesn’t seem to go as planned…

warnings ; anxiety, overthinking, sorta angst to fluff, alcohol, underage drinking, mention of smoking (let me know if there's any more!)

You and Natalie had been dating for two months now. And you knew each other even earlier than that. But throughout your time knowing her, she had never not invited you to any event whether it be a smoke sesh or a bonfire.

And you had always turned her down. This wasn’t your way of rejecting her, but it wasn’t exactly your crowd. You could only conjure up the most ridiculous and almost impossible situations that would happen because you just showed up in a social setting.

Your guys’ first date in your backyard where you guys shared a pizza and your first kiss (probably not a good kiss with the pizza). The point was that it was in the privacy of your own home.

You know Nat would never force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to do. But considering how she felt going to these parties without you, you decided you finally show. So she came to your house minutes before the party to help you prepare.

There you stood in front of your mirror, Natalie behind you looking at your guys’ reflection. She had her hands on your shoulders and smiled at you through the mirror.

She was dressed in a leather jacket and worn in Doc Martins. She had a red pleated skirt and ripped fishnets and a plethora of rings adorned her fingers. She had smudged eyeliner around her eyes but it was meant to look like that.

You were simply wearing a long sleeve since it was chilled out. A pair of thrifted jeans that were your favorite pair, despite them already being worn.

“Are you ready?” She smiled at you and you nodded. She kissed your cheek and grabbed your hand to drag you out of your bedroom and your house.

It wasn’t a far walk, just further out into the woods so you both walked there, hand in hand.

“Have you ever been to one of these before?” Nat smirked. It wasn’t mean, it was a genuine question. “You just never wanna come with me when I offer.”

“Not really to any parties. I’ve been to the football games but I never have any fun there,” you shrugged. You were the type to stay in and enjoy a movie, rather than agree with people who speak in majority filler words. It was exhausting to try and find any way to talk to these people without absolutely crumbling.

“I thought it’d be nice though. Since we leave tomorrow,” you smiled. You looked at the dead leaves on the ground as the two of you walked together.

As you got closer and closer to the bonfire, you could see the light and hear a mix of chatter, laughter, and music. A heavy feeling started to settle in your stomach, but you tried to push it down because what would Nat think if you wanted to turn around?

When you started to catch up with people and run into the couples sucking faces, it was like a middle school dance. People were spread out across the woods, but no one was dancing to the music. All talking in their small groups, holding red solo cups full of something.

“I’m gonna go find a keg.” Natalie let your hand go and walked away from you, walking through different circles of people to find a buzz.

You tried following her, but her trail was too spontaneous. She would push people apart from each other, even when they were invested in a full-on conversation. She would split trees and walk through bushes.

So afraid of losing her, you weren’t paying attention to the others around you, mumbling different “sorry”s to several strangers. Maybe you had been paying too much attention to the people around you and that’s how you lost your girlfriend in the crowds.

You couldn’t ask anyone for help, they seemed to look at you like you snuck onto earth. Whether it was the anxiety or the plethora of circles you’d made searching for Natalie, your nausea was starting to set in.

Your stomach was tied in knots and you suddenly felt like you couldn’t move. Your breathing became shallow. The lights were too bright and the music was too loud, it was hard to even think in a setting like this.

An unexpected hand grasped at your shoulder and tugged you around. Trying not to fall over your own feet, you grabbed at anything physical in front of you.

Your eyes came into focus. “Natty!” You let out what felt like the last breath you’d ever take. You pulled her toward you in a great embrace. You felt a splash at your feet and arms wrap around you hesitantly.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” she apologized earnestly. You both pulled away slightly. “I completely forgot and I feel like a complete jerk-“

“You dropped your beer,” you interrupted her. Your monotone made her smile and laugh. It was something so simple that didn’t compare to the situation that was happening.

“I hadn’t even noticed.” She smiled and pecked the corner of your lips. She looked down at your hand and held it gently with her own, toying with the tips of your fingers. Looking back up to meet your eyes, her face became soft. “Do you wanna go?”

You took a deep breath and looked at her as if she had confused you for someone else. “No, it’s okay! But if you wanna stay. I’ll just go–”

She quickly shushed you and held your face in her hands. “Shh, baby… I love you more than some… party.” She giggled at the situation.

“Are you sure? Have you even talked to your friends yet?” All of your questions made her shut you up again, pressing her lips to yours, trying to get you to stop mumbling into your kiss.

She pulled away and gave you a knowing look. You just replied with a small smile on your lips. Natalie furrowed her brows as she licked her lips once over. “Is that cherry?”

“Yeah, it came in, like, a pack of four.” You giggled in response to her behavior.

“That gives us one more reason to leave,” She moved her hands to grab yours, pulling you away from the rest of the party. “We have to try all of them. If they’re as good as they taste, ya know.”

[xflixer7]

Natalie x fem reader

They are at Natalie's house, because nats parents are gone out somewhere, and reader wanted to go, and Nat and reader are definition of grumpy gf x sunshine gf

Nat was smoking and reader tries but just choked and gets upset 😭😭

pairings:natalie scatorccio x female reader

warnings:kissing? nothing to crazy pipe down

word count:650(rounded)

it all started when nat was talking about random things to you while untying her cleats “well my moms not home so-“ “OH MY GOD” “what?” “can we go to yours?” “no y/n i like your house better you know that” “BUT PLEASSSSEEE” “your not talking me out of this i said no.” “IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOUL-“

…..

…..

“i can’t believe you convinced me to do this” you smile brightly at her while you guys get in your car “hm? it’s not like i haven’t been there before” “yah but-never mind” “what’s wrong?” “nothing” “we don’t have to go if you really don’t want to…” you sigh and look down “for fucks sake y/n drive before i change my mind” you smile and turn the key

the door opened she sighed and walked to the fridge opening the door before slamming it “uggghh there’s nothing to eat in this shithole can we just go to your house” “no nat! we’re already here so” “fine”

“ok what to watch” nat clicks her tongue “nightmare on elm street?” “bleh no way not again” “ok well all we have is that or disney movies “oh a disney movie! let’s watch that”she sighed and put the tape in the vhs player you guys sit together watching the little mermaid

nat gets up and grunts walking to the bathroom you frown and look at her coming back into the room with two baggys her hand weed and rolling paper “no nat” “what?” “i wanted to watch it with you” “but i am watching it promise” you pause the movie “ok than what just happened she looks at you with her eyebrow’s furrowed “what?” “what just happened because you were watching it” “omg y/n” “what tell me what happened” “uh she put the fork in her hair or whatever” “WRONG” “her dad just destroyed all of her things she collected from the humans” “your weird” you frown and look at her rolling one

“ok well those can’t taste good” “want to try” she says smirking at you holding the blunt out in front of you “um ok” you sit criss cross in front of her she lights it and brings the blunt to her mouth inhaling than exhaling “ok gimmie” you say reaching out for it and putting it in between your lips sucking the smoke into you mouth it quickly fills into your lungs you start a coughing fit waving your hands in your face

….

….

“BAHAHAHAHAHA-“ “I CANT BREATHE” you finally calm down after lots of water and breathing “YUCK!” “and you! you laughed at me” “i’m so very sorry dear y/n” you pout and unpause the movie turning on to your side “awww y/n” you grunt and stand up walking out of the room “where are you going??” “IM GETTING A POPSICLE” “HEY GET ME ONE” “GET IT YOURSELF” she scoffs and brings the blunt to her lips you walk back in silently with two popsicles in your hand both wrapped in paper towels you give one to her and sit back down

“aww so sweet of you” “yah yah” you eat your popsicles watching the movie “y/n y/n” nat shakes your arm “what” you say blankly looking at her she kisses you you jolt up and kiss her back than pull away “no i’m mad at you” “aw i’m very sorry for laughing at you dearest wife” “that’s good for now..” she laughs and you kiss again you pull away still holding your popsicle stick in one hand “you taste yucky” “i take offense to that” “no still love you don’t worry! but put that down” you look down at her joint she sighs and puts it out on her side table

“oh look there getting married how cuteeeee” “bleh” “aww there kissing” nat covered your eyes “your too young for these rated r seens!!” you push her hand off of you “oh shut up” you grab her face and kiss all over her “am i too young for that?” “well that’s different..” “ah i see”

send more!! there’s are fun to make hope you like it

-🙈

[ruassurvivalkit]

💫❤️‍🔥RUA'S MASTERLIST❤️‍🔥💫

💥Rules💥

1) I don't write ageplay, anything sexual to do with bodily functions e.g. vomit, underage, too graphic, beastality etc. Generally what most people on this app consider iffy

2)I have the right to refuse requests

(especially if it goes against rules or I am uncomfortable by the request)

3) don't reblog my stuff or I will find you! (/j about the last part but don't reblog my stuff /srs)

4) Request thro my ask button and do it respectfully or I won't make the request. If you want it to be specific to your tastes, make it specific. If you want me to have my own artistic interaptation then let me know.

5) I ONLY WRITE ROMANTICALLY FOR WOMEN/NONBINARY AS I AM A LESBIAN. (I will write for men platonically) (or the man is man x other character) and I don't write for male readers

6) I write romantic and platonic but you need to be specific. If you want a character to be written as a parental figure, say "can you write for parent!character" or if you want a character to be written as a crush/crushing say "can you write for crush!character or crushing!character"

7) depending on the fandom, I may write for one I don't have listed but i have the right to refuse

8) I write for character x reader and character x character and I'm chill writing with multiple characters if given specifics

9) I may write for a character not listed in the listed fandom but I have the right to refuse.

WHAT TYPE OF IMAGE/ONE SHOT IS THIS?

❣️ - fluff

💢 - angst

🍋 - smut (I am not well versed in writing smut but I'm willing to give it a try)

🕊 - dead dove do not eat

*trigger warnings will be given on iffy subjects (dead dove do not eat)

WHO/WHAT DO I WRITE FOR?

Arcane

• Jinx

• Vi

• Mel

• Caitlyn

• Vi and Caitlyn

Stranger Things

• Robin buckley

• Nancy wheeler

• younger characters × younger characters only as theyre 13-15 in the series(e.g. Max x Lucas or Mike x Will) but will only be cutesy fluff bc aweee

• Joyce × Jim

• Joyce Byers

• Chrissy Cunningham

• Vickie (cannot find her surname for the life of me)

League of their own (series)

• Jess McCready

• Lupe Garcia

• Max Chapman

• Carson Shaw

• Greta Gill

• Maybelle Fox

• Jo De Luca

• Shirley Cohen (love the girl but platonic only)

• Esti Gonález (platonic only)

Life is Strange

Lis 1

• Chloe Price

• Max Caufield

Lis tc

• Steph Gingrich

• Alex Chen

Feel free to request a character and ill yay or nay them

Yellowjackets

• Shauna Shipman/Sadecki

• Jackie Taylor

• Nat/Natalie Scatorccio

• Tai/Taissa Turner

• Van Palmer

• Lottie/Charlotte Matthews

• Laura-Lee

Hazbin/Helluva Boss

• feel free to request FEMALE characters and I'll yay or nay them asap but male characters can be platonic!!

Bridgerton

• Penelope Featherington(my love my life my wife not Colins 😾)

• Eloise Bridgerton (LOVE HER SM)

• umm idk who else but like requests and stuff! 😼

I also write for

• dc universe

• marvel universe

• 2 broke girls (only Max and depends on Caroline)

• Fallon Carrington the new Dynasty series (havent watched the older one)

• can request a lot of characters from diff fandoms as I always forget what media I watch/read etc until its brought up

• Harry Potter but only when the younger characters are older

• FEAR STREET!!!!

• doric from the dnd movie and Syd from ianowt 👀👀👀

• STRICTLY PLATONIC!!!!paper girls ❤️ I luv them they're such wee cuties but I can do Mac x Kj romantic bc duhhh just not x reader BC DUHHH

• mean girls

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️ This is a stream of consciousness so apologises for the messiness and istg I will actually combust and explode if anyone ik finds this 😔🙏💔

[rhiannonsknife]

— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (part 2)

— summary: your first date with nat takes an unexpected turn.

— warnings: fluff. lots of period typical & internalized homophobia. angst. hurt/no comfort (yet). fem!reader. also i don’t know shit about bowling or soccer.

the next evening, you show up at the bowling alley ten minutes early, too giddy to keep pacing back and forth in your room.

the place is exactly what you expected: slightly dim, neon lights flickering over rows of well-worn lanes, the faint smell of fried food hanging in the air. it’s loud and feels worlds away from your usual hangouts, not at all what you thought nat would suggest and busier than you expected for a weeknight.

nat arrives right on time, striding in with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket. she scans the room for a second before her gaze lands on you. immediately, her lips twitch into a smirk, and she saunters over to where you’re standing.

“didn’t think you’d actually show,” she says by way of greeting and stops in front of you.

you roll your eyes, trying not to let her see just how much you’ve been looking forward to this. “i’m not the flaky one, remember?”

nat huffs a laugh, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. “fair point. ready to get your ass kicked?”

“oh, please,” you scoff. “you already admitted you’re terrible at this!”

“yeah, but so are you. let’s go!” she says, grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward the counter to rent shoes.

as it turns out, nat wasn’t lying: she is terrible at bowling. her first two frames are instant gutter balls, and her third also veers off almost immediately, careening into the gutter with a dramatic thunk. she straightens up, staring after it for a moment, then turns to you with a deadpan expression.

“your turn!”

you burst out laughing from where you’d been watching her. “that’s it?“

“what?” nat shrugs. “think you’re gonna be any better?”

“wow,” you tease as you walk past her and grab your ball. “so much hope in me!”

she leans against the scorer’s table, crossing her arms as she watches you line up your shot. “show me how it’s done, hotshot!”

you’re determined not to make too much of a fool of yourself, though the bar is already ridiculously low after nat’s poor attempts. you square your shoulders, take a deep breath, and let the ball roll. for a brief, shining moment, you think you’ve nailed it. until it teeters off course and tumbles into the gutter about halfway down the lane.

behind you, nat laughs so hard you’re worried she might actually fall over. “nice job,” she says. “real pro move there!”

“oh, shut up,” you mutter, but you’re grinning too, the sting of failure softened by how ridiculous the whole scene feels.

you take another ball from the rack, determined to redeem yourself. this time, you actually take your time lining up the shot, glancing back at nat, who’s lounging against the table with an amused grin.

“focus, champ,” she teases. “no pressure!”

“uh huh,” you shoot back, shaking your head. you roll the ball, watching it glide smoothly down the lane. for a moment, it looks like it’s going to hit dead center before it veers to the side, taking out an astounding amount of three pins.

nat bursts into laughter, and you groan dramatically. “are you serious?”

“hey, three’s better than none,” she says, clapping slowly. “progress!”

“wow, thanks for the support,” you say, returning to the table and plopping into the chair beside her.

“anytime,” nat replies, still chuckling. she’s next to grab a ball and saunters up to the lane. her casual confidence is almost convincing…until she bowls another gutter ball.

by the fifth frame, you’ve given up on trying to win and are instead competing to see who can make the worst shot. nat perfects a move where she lazily tosses the ball underhand, watching it crawl its way to the pins at an impressively slow pace. it knocks over exactly one pin, and she doubles over laughing.

you’re holding up a hand as tears of laughter blur your vision. “they’re going to kick us out for disrespecting the sport or something!”

halfway through the game, you’re sitting side by side at the table, splitting a basket of fries nat insisted on getting. even with the chaos around you, the occasional strike followed by whoops of celebration, your attention keeps drifting back to her.

nat catches your not so subtle staring and raises an eyebrow. she dips a fry into the remains of ketchup and asks: “what?”

you quickly shake your head, feeling your cheeks heat. “nothing. just…you’re really bad at this,”

she smirks, popping a fry into her mouth. “yeah, well, you’re not much better!”

you laugh, nudging her with your shoulder. “fair enough!”

there’s a pause, comfortable and easy, before she speaks again. “you know, i kind of like this.”

you glance at nat sideways, surprised. “bowling?”

“no,” she says, rolling her eyes. “this. you. not being so…cheerleader-y!”

you stomach flips again, but you keep your voice light. “and here i thought you loved my pom-poms!”

nat grins, shaking her head as she hops up to her feet. “come on! i still have to finish this!”

“oh, please,” you say, leaning forward to steal a fry of your own. “we’re both disasters. let’s just call it a tie and save ourselves the embarrassment!”

nat’s grin widens as she shakes her head. “no way! i’m committed now. this game isn’t over until one of us manages a strike!”

“a strike?” you repeat, raising an eyebrow. “we’ll be here all night!”

“good,” nat says. “i’ve got nowhere else to be!”

unsurprisingly, neither of you manages a strike. by the time you finally give up, the scoreboard is a tragic display of gutter balls and spare attempts. still, your sides ache from laughing too hard at nat’s increasingly dramatic reactions to her missed shots.

“well,” you say, slipping your bowling shoes off at the rental counter, “i think it’s safe to say we’re not getting scouted for the pro leagues anytime soon!”

nat tosses her own shoes onto the counter with a loud thud, shrugging. “hey, speak for yourself! i’ve got potential!”

you shake your head, grinning. “maybe next time we stick to something less physical?”

the words are out before you have time to consider their implications. judging by nat’s attitude before, you wonder if she’s even up for something like a ‘next time’ or if she’s counting down the seconds until she can get out of here.

the way she’s smiling -unlike anything you’ve ever seen in school- does seem like she’s having at least as much fun as you though. and instead of turning you down, she’s nudging you with her elbow. “what about the arcade? i think i’ve got enough energy left to kick your ass at air hockey too!”

“you’re awfully confident for someone who couldn’t break 60 in bowling,” you tease, following her toward the neon glow of the arcade that’s tucked into a different part of the building.

nat just glances back over her shoulder, grinning. “you’ll see!”

the arcade is alive with sound and light and you wander through the rows of machines shoulder to shoulder, eventually stopping at a basketball free-throw game.

“alright,” nat says, cracking her knuckles. “let’s see what you’ve got, cheerleader!”

“oh, please. you’re the one on a soccer team,” you reply, gesturing at the hoop. “shouldn’t hand-eye coordination also be your kind of thing?”

“soccer,” she deadpans. “not basketball. but i guess we’ll find out!”

nat does manage a solid lead at first, sinking several shots in a row while you struggle to keep up. when her aim falters, and you take your chance to catch up, scoring three baskets back-to-back just before the timer runs out.

“okay, okay,” she says, raising her hands in surrender as the scoreboard flashes your victory. “maybe i’ll stick to soccer!”

“what was that about destroying me?”

nat rolls her eyes, grabbing the tickets that spit out from the machine. “beginner’s luck. don’t get used to it!”

you’re still laughing when you pass a pair of shooting games tucked into the corner of the room next. she instantly slows, her attention caught by the pixelated zombies on the screen.

“oh, we have to play this,” nat declares, stepping toward it. “let’s see who’s got better shooting aim!”

she’s already grabbing one of the plastic guns and hands the other to you. “come on! i’ll even give you a head start!”

you hesitantly take it from her, your fingers fumbling to hold it correctly. the machine comes to life as nat inserts a few quarters. the game starts with an obnoxiously loud intro and an animated announcer yelling about a zombie apocalypse while dramatic music plays in the background.

“okay, ready?” nat asks, aiming her gun.

“i think so,” you say, mimicking her stance.

she takes the first few shots like a pro, hitting targets with surprising accuracy. the same can’t be said for you: your first shot misses so badly that she actually pauses to laugh, nearly getting hit herself in the process.

“you’re supposed to aim at the zombies, you know?”she teases.

“i am aiming at the zombies!” you reply, adjusting your grip on the gun.

nat glances at you, then laughs. “what are you doing? you’re holding it like it’s a water pistol!”

you huff. “well, excuse me for not being an expert at fake guns!”

nat shakes her head, grinning. “here, let me show you!”

before you can argue, she steps behind you, her arms brushing yours as she adjusts your grip. nat’s hands settle over yours, guiding you to hold the gun steady. “like this,” she says softly, her voice so close to your ear that it sends a shiver down your spine.

you nod, thought your brain feels absolutely scrambled. you’re hyperaware of just how close she is, the warmth of her hands over yours, the faint smell of her cologne.

“see?” she continues, her voice low and her breath warm against the back of your neck. if nat is aware of the affect that she has on you, she won’t let it show. “now you can actually aim!”

“yeah,” you manage. you’re not sure you’re even looking at the screen anymore.

her fingers linger for a second too long before she steps back. you exhale, trying to shake off the heat rising to your face, and focus on the game instead.

it continues, and though you start hitting a few more targets, nat still dominates the scoreboard all throughout the game. by the final round, both of you are frantically firing at the screen, shouting instructions at each other and laughing whenever one of you misses.

the neon lights of the arcade reflect off nat’s face as she occasionally grins at you between firing shots. for this moment, it feels like the world has narrowed down to just the two of you. it feels like the kind of moment you’d envisioned yourself having time and time again, not once thinking somebody like you would ever live this kind of reality. now here you are, with nat scatorccio out of all people.

then, just as the next wave of pixelated zombies is about to appear on screen, you catch sight of someone out of the corner of your eye: a figure standing near the claw machine. familiar. too familiar.

your stomach instantly twists at the sight. it’s her. she’s leaning casually against the side of the machine, her arms crossed as she watches you. even surrounded by a group of friends, some of which you recognize from cheer practice, her eyes are on you and nat.

panic rushes through you suddenly, and you feel the familiar urge to get out of her eyesight as fast as possible.

“hey, uhm, give me a second,” you mumble, setting the plastic gun down.

nat straightens, her smile fading into concern. “you okay?”

“yeah,” you say quickly, forcing a smile and an unconvincing thumbs up. “just…bathroom. be right back!”

you weave through the crowd, your heartbeat thundering in your ears and drowning out the noise of the arcade around you. the bathroom door swings open with a soft creak, and you step inside, bracing your hands against the sink.

the harsh fluorescent lights make everything feel too bright, too sharp. you grip the edge, your knuckles turning white.

she saw you. she saw you laughing with nat, leaning close, acting like you didn’t care about the looks, the whispers she used to care about back when you were sneaking around. she won’t just let that slide.

when the door swings open behind you, you don’t need to turn around to know it’s her who steps inside.

“didn’t think i’d see you here,”

your meet her eyes in the mirror, your reflection pale and tense. “what do you want?”

she steps inside, letting the door shut behind her. “relax. i’m just saying hi!”

you turn to face her fully, crossing your arms in front of you like a shield. “hi. now leave.”

she ignores the demand, only steps closer instead. “i didn’t know you were into arcade games,” she says, raising a brow. “or that you were hanging out with yellowjackets…?”

your nails press crescent moon shapes into the palm of your hand as you attempt to stand your ground. it’s always been hard with her, when she’s so used to getting whatever she pleases.

“it’s just funny. i thought you didn’t even like soccer?” she tilts her head. “so what’s this then? some new hobby?”

your throat feels dry as you try and find your voice. “it’s not- nat and i are just hanging out!”

“right” she says, dragging the word out.

“what do you want?”

she shrugs, stepping further into the bathroom. “just curious. you’ve been avoiding me, and now here you are, cozying up to scatorccio of all people!”

you flinch at her tone, the condescension in the way she says nat’s name. “it’s none of your business!”

“oh, but it is,” she says, her voice sharpening as she hisses: “do you have any idea how that looks? you’re not exactly subtle, you know? half the arcade probably thinks you two are…” she trails off.

you stomach churns. you doubt she’ll ever change: apparently, even being associated with somebody who might be queer is too much for her to handle. “so what if they do?”

her eyes narrow. “so what? are you serious right now?”

you feel your hands curl into fists at your sides. “what are you trying to say?”

“all i’m saying is that you’re playing with fire,” she snaps, her voice rising. “people talk. and if you’re not careful, you’re going to ruin everything for yourself!”

your breath catches. “ruin what? there’s nothing to ruin!”

“oh please!” she takes another step closer. “you think people are just going to be okay with it? you think you’re going to waltz around with your little soccer girlfriend and not have it blow up in your face?”

you swallow hard. “nat’s not my girlfriend!”

“that’s not the point,” she says, her tone growing harsher. “the point is you’re going to make things harder for yourself! and for what? for her?”

you feel your eyes sting. you hate that she can still get to you like this. “why do you even care? you made it clear you didn’t want this!”

“because i didn’t want to ruin my life,” she says, her voice rising. “do you know what people would say if they knew? if they knew about us? about you?”

“you act like i’m the problem,” you manage to scoff. “like i’m ruining everything. you’re the one who’s scared. you’re the one who can’t deal with who you are!”

“i know things about you!” she snaps then. “things i could say. people i could tell!”

your breath hitches all over again, the weight of her words -of the threat- pressing down on you like a physical force.

before you can respond, the door swings open again, and nat steps inside. her eyes immediately lock onto yours, and then dart to your ex, her jaw tightening. she might not know who she is yet, but you’re sure nat can put two and two together.

“what’s going on here?”

“nothing,” your ex says quickly, straightening up. “we were just…talking!”

nat doesn’t look convinced. she steps closer, positioning herself between you and her. “didn’t sound like just talking!”

“jesus, relax natalie,” she rolls her eyes. “this has nothing to do with you!”

“it has if you’re upsetting her,” nat says.

your ex falters, her confidence wavering under nat’s steady gaze. she looks at you one last time, scoffing, her expression a mix of anger and something almost like regret. but then she turns on her heel, brushing past nat as she storms out of the bathroom.

“hey,” nat immediately says. “are you okay?”

you nod, but the tears spill over anyway. “i’m fine,” you mumble, quickly wiping at your face.

nat steps closer, her presence steadying in a way you never knew before. “you don’t have to be,” she assures.

“she’s just…” you trail off, struggling to find the words. “she’s like that because of her own stuff. it’s not about me. not really”

nat nods, “i get it, but it still sucks!”

you let out a weak laugh, the tension in your chest loosening just a little. “yeah. it does,”

she hesitates, then reaches out, her hand brushing your shoulder. the touch is brief at first but grounding, and when you don’t turn away, nat dares to pull you into somewhat of a half embrace, unsure but no less comforting.

“come on,” nat mumbles after a moment. “let’s get you out of here, yeah? i’m not letting you have another breakdown in a bathroom over her on my watch, cheerleader!”

the next morning feels like stepping into an entirely different world altogether: the fight in the bathroom with your ex is a long forgotten, thanks to nat’s attempt to cheer you up, and your heart is still buzzing from your time with her.

she’d driven you home after the arcade, and though nothing happened, not a kiss, not even holding hands, you’d caught yourself smiling like an absolute idiot in the passenger seat, replaying the way she’d looked at you all night.

now, even the seemingly endless monotony of class seems oddly tolerable: you actually find yourself sitting through lectures without doodling in your notebook or counting the minutes until lunch. when you spot nat across the hallway between classes or across the room in your one shared history lesson, the sight of her messy hair or a flash of her smile is enough to send a flutter through your chest.

the good mood follows you right up until you step into the gym for cheer practice after school.

something feels off the second you walk in. the usual buzz of chatter and laughter feels stilted, replaced with something tense. any talk is cut off as soon as your sneakers squeak against the polished floor. a quick glance around confirms a suspicion that’s already creeping up on you: people are watching.

and not just glancing, staring.

your tighten your grip on your gym bag, a knot forming in your stomach. your steps falter as you approach the lockers and the murmur of voices picks up again behind you.

“…makes sense, though, doesn’t it?”

“i mean, it’s gross, right?”

“does coach even know?”

you drop your bag by the lockers and start stretching near the mats. the whispers don’t stop. if anything, they grow louder, their words becoming clearer until there’s no pretending you don’t hear them anymore. when you glance toward the group huddled near the bleachers, you see the pointed looks, the smirks, and the unmistakable glare from your ex:

she’s standing at the center of the group, arms crossed, a clearly self-satisfied smirk plastered across her face.

finally, you stand, brushing off your hands, and take a step toward them. “what’s going on?”

the chatter stops abruptly, as if none of them were expecting you to call it out. for a moment, nobody answers, but then she steps forward.

“oh, nothing,” she says, looking around. “we were just talking about how interesting it must’ve been for you, being on a team full of girls. you know…since you’re into that sort of thing?”

it feels like the floor drops out from underneath your feet.

it’s a low blow, even for her, but that doesn’t stop the group of girls that surround you from giggling quietly.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say quickly, but your voice wavers, betraying you. “what’s your problem?”

“no problem here. just thought it was interesting, you know? seeing you out last night. you and natalie scatorccio?”

the gym falls silent. you feel every pair of eyes in the room turns to you.

“we weren’t doing anything,” you manage despite their stares. “we were just hanging out!”

“hanging out?” your ex repeats, feigning surprise. “that’s what you call it? looked a lot more…cozy than that to me!”

laughter ripples through the group, and heat floods your face.

“oh my god,” one of the other girls chimes in, her voice filled with poorly concealed disgust. “are you actually serious? you were on a date with her?”

“it wasn’t a date!” you protest, your voice rising in panic. as much as you would’ve liked for it to be, neither of you labeled it that.

another girl snorts. “right, because scatorccio is totally the type to hang out with a cheerleader just for fun! come on, we’ve all seen her. she’s like…you know?” she makes a vague gesture. there’s no need for her to elaborate for the whole room to understand what she saying.

“like what?” you snap.

“like you,” your ex cuts in smoothly. “two of a kind, right? birds of a feather! must be nice, not having to hide anymore!”

someone snickers behind her. “we’re just friends,” you say, sharper now.

“sure you are, that’s why you were basically all over each other!”

the group bursts into more laughter around you.

“would you just shut up?” you snap at last.

“oh, she’s mad now,” one of the other girls says, her voice a mock sing-song.

your ex steps closer, dropping the act entirely now that you’re chest to chest. “what’s the matter? afraid people might find out who you really are?” she glances around at the others, then back at you. “you know, it’s kind of pathetic. sneaking around like that. nobody’s buying it, anyway!”

“don’t-” your voice cracks.

“don’t what?” she says. “don’t call you out? don’t let everyone know they’ve been sharing a locker room with a lesbian?”

the words hang in the air, sharp and cruel, and hit you like a slap. for a moment, all you can do is stand there, frozen, as the group watches you, some wide-eyed, others smirking.

it’s not just about nat, or you. it’s about your place in their world: your status as part of the team, part of the cheer squad. the one thing you’ve always tried to fit into, always tried to be, no matter how uncomfortable it made you. it is now that you’re realizing that maybe you don’t belong in their world. that maybe you never did.

grabbing your bag, you shove past her and storm toward the door, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might burst. the door slams shut behind you, muffling the sound of their laughter.

you won’t go back to the gym and give them that satisfaction.

instead, you walk down the halls, past the locker rooms, and head out the back doors. the air outside is cold, but does nothing to numb the ache in your chest. it’s the kind that suddenly feels like it’s been there all along, maybe longer than you realized, even. a crack forming. one piece of your life falling away at a time: cheerleading had always been your thing. your family’s thing, your friends’ thing. you’d been in it so long, it is hard to imagine life without it.

but then there’s still nat.

you’re not sure why your thoughts drift to her now, but you do know one thing for sure: with nat, over these past weeks, you could breathe. the world didn’t feel so small. she made you feel like you again, like someone who could be something other than just a cheerleader, just a girl pretending.

it isn’t until you’ve wandered to the edge of campus that you realize where your feet have taken you: the soccer field stretches out ahead, bright under the last bits of aternoon sun. from where you’re standing, you can see the yellowjackets mid-practice. you hesitate at the edge of the field, heart pounding as your eyes scan the group for her.

they’ve always been a tight group and there’s always been something about them that you’ve admired: the way they’ve got each other’s backs, no questions asked. you can’t help but feel like maybe that’s the one thing you’ve never been able to do for yourself.

nat is easy to spot, even from a distance. she’s wearing shorts and a faded soccer jersey, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. you freeze, watching as she jogs across the field with an effortless ease before passing the ball to taissa, who maneuvers it past a defender before sending it toward van. van, who catches it, calls out something teasing in return, her voice carrying across the field, and the whole team bursts into laughter.

even from a distance, they’re so at ease with one another.

and then there’s you.

the girl who just got shut out by her own teammates. you stand there, rooted to the spot, watching nat and the others as a painful realization starts to settle in your chest.

clearly, she belongs here.

you don’t.

you think back to the way the yellowjackets rallied around each other at that party, how they’d teased nat when they saw you in her jacket the next day, never with an ounce of cruelty. they’d just laughed and called her out, like it was no big deal. no judgment whatsoever.

out there on the pitch, they don’t look at her the way your squad looked at you today. they don’t treat her like she’s a problem that needs to be fixed. who are you to mess with that?

your chest tightens as the thought takes root: you’ve just lost your place on the cheer squad because you couldn’t keep your feelings buried where they belonged. and now, after one night of just hanging out with nat, everything feels even more precarious.

and it’s not only about you anymore, either. if you let yourself get closer to nat, if people start to notice, if they connect the dots, what happens then? does the judgment simply spill over onto her? onto the team she so clearly loves?

you can’t do that to her, not when she’s so happy here. not when she’s already lost so much, like she told you the night of that party. you can’t be the one to take anything else away from her.

nat jogs toward the sidelines now, wiping sweat from her brow as she laughs at something shauna says not far behind. you catch the faint sound of her voice, low and raspy, and it sends an ache through your chest that already feels too big to name.

you think about walking up to her, about calling her name and letting her see the raw hurt on your face. maybe she’d understand. maybe she’d care. but as you watch her sling an arm around lottie from afar, grinning ear to ear, you hesitate.

what if she doesn’t? what if you’re just another burden she doesn’t need? another thing weighing her down?

before you can second-guess yourself, you turn on your heel, your eyes stinging as you walk away from the field, the sound of laughter fading into the distance behind you.

it’s better this way, you tell yourself. ehe’s happy, and she deserves to stay that way. you’ll figure out the rest on your own, even if it means facing it all alone.

— a/n: i know it’s not wednesday yet, but a) i just got the sweetest ask ever, which motivated me to sit my ass down and finish this, and b) i have a rhiannon lewis fic for tomorrow that’s been sitting in my drafts since november! so, instead of posting two in one day, enjoy this one today! 😭😭

[rhiannonsknife]

— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (part 1)

— summary: you’re still getting over your past situationship when you meet nat scatorccio.

— warnings: drinking/alcohol. implied period typical homophobia. based on this request.

the music pounds through the walls of the house, every beat rattling through your skull and adding to the dizziness you’re already feeling. you’re perched on the edge of the bathtub, clutching a half-empty red cup you’ve forgotten about. the drink has long since lost its taste, and the buzz you’d been riding earlier is wearing off in the worst possible way.

tears fall, slow and relentless, even as you try to force them back. it’s pathetic, you know it is as you look at the mascara smeared face that greets you in the reflection of the mirror ahead.

none of this was supposed to happen. you weren’t supposed to end up here, locked in a bathroom at some stupid party, crying over someone who never cared enough to give you what you wanted. the same old story. you saw it coming, but that doesn’t make it hurt less. it doesn’t make the loneliness any easier to bear.

you run a shaky hand through your hair and wipe at your burning eyes, the red cup slipping slightly as you press it between your palms. it was supposed to be different this time, not feel like the same heartbreak you’ve lived through so many times before. she was different. or at least, you thought she was. that’s what you kept telling yourself while you fell for the girl who promised she was ready to be with you, who made all the right moves, said all the right things.

but when it came down to it, she couldn’t even look you in the eye as you tried to talk about it a couple of weeks ago. all she could do was calling things ‘complicated’ and saying that maybe she wasn’t ready for something real. no apology. no real excuse. and now here she is at the same party, dancing with some guy in a way she never would have with you, leaving you no choice but to watch from across the room.

the bathroom door creaks open suddenly, and you quickly wipe at your face, trying to compose yourself. the last thing you need is for somebody to walk in on one of the cheerleaders looking like this. but it’s too late.

“occupied,” you mumble.

“yeah, no shit,” a dry voice responds

you look up, surprised to see one of the yellowjackets standing against the doorframe. you know her, obviously, if only from a distance, from watching games from the sidelines after performing: natalie scatorccio. she’s the one with the shaggy, bleach blonde hair and that perpetually bored look in her eyes, the one who always wears vintage band tees and a leather jacket if she’s not in her soccer jersey number 7.

“sorry,” you mumble, trying to sound like you’re not completely falling apart. “i’ll leave,”

natalie doesn’t move. she crosses her arms and leans against the wall, her smirk softening. “relax,” she says. “not like i’m dying to hang out with the drunk assholes out there.”

you blink at her, caught off guard. “then why are you here?”

she shrugs, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. “needed a break. but you-“ her eyes flick to your tear-streaked cheeks. “-are you okay?”

“do i look okay?” you snap, voice wobbling.

natalie raises her hands in mock surrender. “fair enough. want to talk about it, or should i leave you to…whatever this is?”

you hesitate, staring down at your cup. she’s a stranger, but something about her feels steady, like she’s not here to judge or pry. before you know it, the words are tumbling out.

“i hooked up with someone. someone i really liked. and they…didn’t feel the same way,”

natalie hums, leaning back against the counter. “cheerleader, right?”

“uh, yeah. how’d you know?”

her grin is small, knowing. “lucky guess,” she gestures vaguely toward your perfect ponytail, the neatly pressed outfit you're wearing (or what's left of it after the night's events). "also, your whole squad has that...same vibe, you know?"

“a vibe?” you echo, frowning.

“you know.” she shrugs. “acting like you’ve got it all together, even when you’re crying in a bathroom…”

you bristle slightly. “well, clearly, i don’t,”

“clearly,” she says, with a smirk that’s just shy of teasing. then, more seriously: “so, what happened?”

you hesitate, then sigh. “i thought we had something. but they didn’t see it that way. basically said i was imagining things!”

natalie tilts her head. “cheerleader too?”

her tone is careful, and the question catches you off guard, though you don't bother denying it. with the amount of cheap liquor you've had, there’s no point in trying to lie. besides, she doesn't strike you as the type to judge, considering the fact that she was the one to bring it up.

“yeah,”

she lets out a dry laugh, shaking her head. “figures. you guys are always so tangled up together,”

you glance up at her, defensive. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“it’s just…” she shrugs. “predictable. all sunshine and pom-poms until someone gets stabbed in the back!”

“not all of us are like that,” you mutter, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“oh, yeah?” she quirks an eyebrow. “then why are you in here crying?”

her bluntness stings, but it cuts through the fog in your head. at least she's not sugarcoating things just to make you feel better. you exhale sharply, and before you can stop yourself, you’re speaking again. “because i thought she actually cared. i thought…” you trail off, shaking your head.

natalie’s expression shifts slightly, something softer slipping through as she shoves her hands into her pockets. “people suck,” she says simply.

you laugh weakly, despite yourself. “yeah. they really do!”

the room falls into silence again, but it’s not uncomfortable. you feel lighter, somehow, like just talking to her has already taken some of the weight off your chest. for the first time tonight, you feel like you can breathe again.

natalie shifts, standing upright and jerking her chin toward the door. “c’mon. this party fucking sucks anyway. let’s get out of here!”

you hesitate, glancing toward the door. “what, you’re just gonna leave?”

she shrugs, her hands still tucked in her pockets. “what’s the point of staying? and let me guess: you’re not exactly dying to run into her again tonight either?”

your stomach twists at the thought, and you shake your head. “no. definitely not!”

“exactly,” natalie says, stepping away from the wall. “so let’s bail. the night’s already shitty, might as well make it less shitty!”

“you want me to come with you?”

she smirks faintly. “you want to stay here crying in the bathroom?”

you let out a soft laugh despite yourself. “alright, fair point”

natalie gestures toward the door. “come on. i know a spot. it’s better than this place, anyway,”

‘better than this place’ isn’t exactly a high bar, but something about the way she says it makes you trust her. you nod, leaving your cup on the counter. “alright. lead the way!”

natalie doesn’t say anything else, just pushes open the bathroom door and leads you through the party. the noise and chaos feel even more overwhelming after the relative quiet, but she moves through it carelessly. you follow her out to the driveway, where her beat-up car sits under a flickering streetlight.

“get in” she says, jerking her head towards the passenger side.

you hesitate for a moment before climbing in. the interior is as unpolished as you’d expect, the faint smell of cigarette smoke lingering in the air. natalie slides into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut and cranking the engine to life.

“where are we going?” you ask as she starts driving off.

“somewhere quiet,” she says simply, her eyes fixed on the road ahead.

fifteen minutes later, you’re parked at a deserted overlook just outside town. only there, natalie cuts the ignition and leans back, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her jacket.

“want one?” she asks, holding it out to you.

you shake your head. “not my thing”

“suit yourself.” natalie lights one up, the orange glow illuminating her face in the otherwise dark space. for a while, neither of you says anything, the silence surprisingly comfortable.

“so,” natalie starts, breaking the quiet. “you really liked this girl, huh?”

you sigh, leaning your head back against the seat. “yeah. i thought…i don’t know, i thought we had something!”

“maybe she’s just an idiot,” she offers, her voice dry though not unkind. “her loss, right?”

you glance at her, watching the way her face lights up from the faint glow of her cigarette. “what about you, natalie? ever had…dunno, someone break your heart?”

she winces playfully at the name. “natalie? god, no one calls me that. it’s just nat!”

“nat,” you repeat. “alright, nat, what about you then?

she exhales a stream of smoke, her gaze fixed on the horizon through the window shield. “not really,” she says after a pause. “i’ve had my fair share of bullshit. people thinking they can get close, but only on their terms,”

“that sounds…” you trail off, searching for the right word.

“exhausting?” nat supplies, flicking ash out the window. “yeah, it is.”

familiar, is what you were going for, but you suppose ‘exhausting’ will do. you study her for a moment, the sharp angles of her face in the dimly lit space. “you’re not what i expected, you know?”

nat glances sideways at you. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

you shrug, leaning back against the headrest. “i don’t know. i see you at school sometimes…and with the whole soccer thing, i guess i just figured you’d be different,”

“different how?” she presses, curiosity piqued.

“i don’t know,” you hesitate, searching for the right words. “the team’s such a big deal. everyone’s always talking about the yellowjackets since you guys won nationals,”

nat lets out a dry laugh, taking another drag of her cigarette.

“trust me, we’re just a bunch of idiots kicking a ball around. nothing special”

“you’re good, though,” you counter. “regionals last year? that goal you scored? pretty badass!”

“you were there?”

“i’m a cheerleader, remember? i’m at all the games. you don’t really notice us, though, do you?”

“not my thing,” she says with a grimace. “but, uh, thanks. i guess,”

the conversation continues, ebbing and flowing with surprising ease. turns out that nat scatorccio is not at all how you had expected her to be.

eventually, as she runs out of cigarettes to smoke, the cold starts to seep in, and you shiver. nat notices, shrugging off her leather jacket and holding it out to you.

“here,” she says. “you’re gonna freeze to death!”

you blink at her, surprised. a part of you wants to argue, but the goosebumps on your arms speak volumes. “are you sure? won’t you be cold?”

“i’ll survive,” she says, rolling her eyes. “just take it!”

you do, slipping it on quickly. it’s oversized on you, the sleeves hanging past your hands, and smells faintly of smoke. it’s warm, at least, and you murmur “thanks” as your finger clutch at the fabric.

“don’t mention it,” she replies, stubbing out her cigarette. “c’mon, let’s get you home before someone calls the cops on me for kidnapping a cheerleader”

you laugh, the tension easing from your chest as she starts the car and pulls back onto the road, letting you navigate the route to your house.

the drive is quieter this time, the party and all your earlier heartbreak feeling strangely far away. nat drums her fingers on the steering wheel in time with a song playing faintly on the radio.

when she stops in front of your house, you hesitate for a moment before opening the door. “thanks for tonight,” you say, your voice softer than you mean it to be.

she shrugs, her gaze flicking toward you. “don’t overthink it, alright? i just…didn’t want you crying in some gross bathroom all night,”

“well, i appreciate it. see you around?”

“maybe,” she says, a half-smile on her face as you climb out of the car and close the door behind you.

you stand on your front porch for a long moment, watching her tail lights disappear into the night. only then, when theres only the pitch black darkness of the street left ahead of you and nat’s car is long gone, you make your way inside.

it isn’t until you’re curled up in the comfort bed that you notice it: nat’s leather jacket is still wrapped snugly around your shoulders. you hadn’t even thought to take it off, too distracted by the events of the night. now, as you bury your face into the worn leather, you can’t help but smile as you inhale what is a mixture of the scent of her cologne and cigarettes.

the thought makes you grin despite yourself, and you let the warmth of the jacket lull you to sleep, unbothered by the fact that you’re still in a full face of makeup and the clothes you wore to the party.

somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re already thinking about how to return it, though the idea of seeing her again doesn’t feel like a chore at all.

the gym is still buzzing with energy, the echoes of the rally lingering in the air. you're perched on the bleachers, fiddling with the hem of your cheer skirt as the crowd begins to disperse.

the yellowjackets are clustered near the far corner, laughing and shoving at each other while coach martinez barks something about practice tomorrow that you can understand clearly even from a distance and amongst the giggles of the other cheerleaders.

your eyes, however, are locked on one player only.

she's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, her signature smirk firmly in place as she banters with lottie. she doesn't seem to notice you staring. if she does, she doesn't let on. her hair is messy, sweaty strands sticking to her neck, and there's a small smear of dirt on her cheek that she clearly doesn't care enough about to wipe away.

the ache in your chest is as confusing as it is frustrating. you're not supposed to feel this way about her, of all people. not after how your recent situationship ended. you'd made the stubborn promise to yourself hat you would not end up falling for another girl in the foreseeable future. and yet, here you are, watching nat scatorccio from afar.

"hey"

the voice beside you makes you jump, and you whip around to find her -the girl you'd been seeing, or whatever you'd been doing-hovering uncertainly at your side. only yesterday, the sight would've made your heart ache. now, it just annoys you that she's interrupted your people (nat) watching.

"uh, hi," you mumble, glancing back at nat almost instinctively. the girl notices, following your gaze. "since when do you care about soccer?"

"what? i don't, i wasn't-" you cut yourself off, realizing how pointless it is to lie. "i was just…..zoning out,"

"sure," she says, her tone clipped. she shifts awkwardly, crossing her arms. "look, about the other night-"

whatever she's saying is drowned out by your own thoughts: nat's laughing at something van said, her smile wide and unrestrained. it's different from the smirk she usually wears. it's softer, more real somehow, and your heart stumbles stupidly in your chest.

"are you even listening to me?" she suddenly asks sharply, pulling your attention back to your side of the gym.

you blink, caught off guard. "sorry, what?"

she rolls her eyes, clearly exasperated. "forget it. i just thought we should talk about...whatever this is. or was!"

you don't want to talk, especially not to her. she's made her stance clear. still, you offer: "yeah, no, you're right. we should. just... maybe later?"

she scoffs, throwing up her hands. "whatever. good talk!" you don't even have the energy to stop her as she stalks off, the sound of her sneakers echoing sharply in the nearly empty gym. your gaze drifts back to nat, then, and you catch her glancing your way. your breath catches, the conversation instantly forgotten, but she looks away before you can tell whether she actually noticed you, or if it was just wishful thinking.

even the school parking lot is alive with post-rally energy by the time you and the rest of the cheer squad has made it out of the locker rooms and you're no longer in the tight outfit.

the yellowjackets are lounging around their cars, hard to miss when they're still in their jerseys. you spot nat leaning against her car, a bright yellow number 7 on her chest and a cigarette dangling lazily between her fingers. she's clearly disinterested in whatever story misty is animatedly telling beside her.

your heart thuds uncomfortably as you approach, clutching the leather jacket in your hands. the nerves aren't new, you've felt them every time you've seen her since that night, but this time, it's worse: she's with her teammates, and they're all staring at you the moment you come into view.

"hey," you call out, offering a small wave. "i, uh...i have something that's yours?"

nat's eyes narrow slightly before flicking to the jacket in your hands.

“oh my god, nat,” taissa teases, leaning casually against van's shoulder. "didn't know you were in the habit of lending your stuff to cheerleaders!"

she exhales a puff of smoke, side-eyeing tai. “shut up!”

you bite your lip, stepping closer. “here. thanks for letting me borrow it!” you hold out the jacket, trying to keep your voice steady with the whole team watching the exchange.

nat takes another drag from her cigarette, letting the silence hang for just a beat too long, before, finally, taking the jacket from your hands. “no problem,”

van raises an eyebrow, smirking the exact same way taissa is.

“well, this is new. didn't know you two were friends...?”

“we're not,” nat says quickly, her tone defensive. you glance at her, the sting of her words hitting sharper than you expect.

“but she's nice,” misty chimes in, clearly delighted by the interaction. “and really good at flips! i saw you at the rally. you did that back handspring thing-“

“misty, not now,” lottie interrupts, shaking her head.

“anyway,” you say, forcing a smile despite the awkward tension.

“thanks again, nat. and...see you around…?”

nat shrugs on the jacket. “thanks, i guess,” she mutters, not meeting your eyes.

“uh, no,” you say, catching her off guard. “i'm thanking you. for, you know...saving my ass the other night...?”

nat quirks a brow at you, clearly unimpressed. “right. well, you already said that. so, we're good!” she shifts on her feet, clearly itching to leave. “see you around, cheerleader!”

and with that, she's gone, her boots scuffing against the asphalt as she falls into step with taissa and van.

turns out you do see nat around, more often than she seems to like.

the first time you spot her in the halls, it's almost comical how badly you fail at playing it cool. nat's leaning against a locker, her bag slung carelessly over one shoulder, chatting with somebody you don't recognize. you walk past and try to keep your head down, but you can't resist glancing over at the last second.

unfortunately, nat very much notices: she smirks, raising an eyebrow in what you can only assume is amusement at your awkwardness. “hey, cheerleader,” she calls, her voice echoing in the hall.

“uh, hi!” you manage, voice coming out brighter than intended. the person by her side snickers, but nat doesn't say anything else, and you slink away, your face burning.

the second time, you're determined to do better.

you catch her near the parking lot, hanging around with a group of guys you've never seen around before. she's got a bottle in a paper bag, her posture lazy and self-assured, and for a moment, you stop in your tracks, hesitant. but then you remember her kindness at the party, and you square your shoulders. the least you can do is thank her properly.

“hey, natalie,” you call as you approach, and she glances over, her expression one of confusion before recognition flashes over her features.

“it's nat,” she corrects automatically, taking a swig from the bottle.

“what do you want?”

you dig into your pocket and pull out the scrap of paper, you'd prepared in class, holding it out to her. “here!”

she takes it, frowning. “what's this?”

“my number,” you say, surprising even yourself with how steady your voice is.

nat snorts. “yeah, no thanks. not really my thing.”

“no, not like that!” you insist quickly, though your face warms. “it's just...if you ever want to talk, or hang out, or whatever. i still owe you for that night, remember?”

her eyes narrow as she studies you, and for a moment, you're sure she's going to crumple the paper and toss it. but instead, she tucks it into her jacket pocket with a shrug. you consider it a small win when you leave her to it.

the third time you try your luck with nat, it's after school. nat's sitting on the steps outside, looking a little less put-together than usual: her hair's messier, her leather jacket slightly crinkled, and she's perched on the edge of a concrete step, surrounded by a few other yellowjackets.

you hesitate, shifting your weight from foot to foot, wondering if you should just let it go for today. but then you remember the way she looked at you the first time you crossed paths after the party, how her gaze softened just a little and how willing to hold nat had been, and it pushes you forward.

you walk up to her, purposefully ignoring the eyes of the other yellowjackets, but determined to try anyway.

“hey,” you say, a little unsure.

nat looks up at you then, her eyes calculating as she takes in your approach. for a moment, she doesn't say anything, just watching you with a furrowed brow. you can feel the familiar rush of nerves, but you push through it anyway.

“do you have a minute?” you ask, trying to sound casual. her lips twitch in what might be the beginning of a smirk, but she doesn't move. “no cheerleading practice today?”

you blink in surprise until you remember: she knows. of course she knows. everyone knows. it's hard to miss you bouncing around in that uniform, especially when you're standing next to your teammates, who always make a point of making everything so damn loud.

“no, not today,” you reply, glancing down at your shoes. “i...thought i'd take a break. come see what you're up to...?”

she doesn't immediately respond, but her eyes flick to the group of yellowjackets gathered around her, clearly sensing that they're all watching in anticipation. nat takes a long drag from her cigarette before replying in her usual dry tone. “why are you here, cheerleader? got another number for me to ignore?”

you almost laugh: the way she says it isn't cruel or mean, but teasing instead.

“no,” you say, shaking your head. “just wanted to check in. i haven't really heard from you since that night. thought i’d see if you were still alive!” nat doesn't seem fazed by the comment. she just exhales a puff of smoke before she replies: “i'm fine,”

you bite your lip but continue, “so you're not mad at me for, you know, giving you my number? for-“

“i'm not mad,” nat interjects. “just don't expect me to be...all friendly, alright?”

you feel a flash of disappointment, but try not to show it. instead, you nod, aiming for a smile but landing more on an awkward grimace. “fair enough. just thought i'd try, you know?”

for a moment, nat just looks at you, her expression unreadable. you're about to turn away, thinking you've pushed too much, when she suddenly speaks again. “you're persistent, i'll give you that,”

you turn back, blinking in surprise.

“maybe it's because i don't like giving up," you reply, your heart skipping a beat. "i really do owe you for what happened that night.”

she shrugs, the motion almost lazy. “you don't have to keep thanking me,”

“i know” you tell her. “but if you ever want to grab a coffee or something, i mean..i'll be around”

just when you think she's going to dismiss you again, she looks over at the group, making sure they're not listening, then back at you. “i'll think about it, cheerleader,” nat says, her voice softer than usual. “but if we do this, i get to decide where we go. deal?”

you blink, surprised by her answer, but you can't hide the grin that spreads across your face. that's not a no. it's far from it, actually.

“deal,” you agree, heart racing in your chest hopefully.

“good,” she says, her lips curling slightly as she pats her pocket, where she must still keep the note with your number on it. “i’ll let you know when. don't go getting your hopes up, though!”

and with that, she turns back to the group, pulling the collar of her jacket up higher, but you catch the smallest smile before she does.

you're not sure if you've just secured somewhat of a date with nat scatorccio or if you're just being hopeful. either way you’re not ready to back down yet.

you don't hear back from nat right away. truthfully, you're not sure you ever will. then, three days later, just when you've pretty much given up on it, the telephone rings.

“hello?” you say, balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you set your homework aside.

“hey, cheerleader”

your heart practically jumps at the sound of nat's voice, low and almost reluctant, as though she's already second-guessing this decision

“nat?” you ask, sitting up straighter.

“yeah,” she replies, and you can practically hear her smirking through the phone. “i said i'd think about it, didn't i?”

a stupidly wide smile spreads across your face before you can stop it.

“you did. so, what's the verdict?”

there's a pause on the other end, and then: “tomorrow night. meet me at the bowling alley on main street, eight o'clock?”

“bowling?” you repeat, surprised.

“yeah, you know? shoes that look like fucking clown rejects, greasy fries, cheap drinks?” she pauses, and her voice takes on a teasing edge. “figured it'd be fun to see you totally suck at something for once!”

you laugh softly, shaking your head. “wow, thanks for the vote of confidence. are you any good?”

nat immediately snorts, and the sound is so sudden and genuine that it makes your grin widen. “hell no. i fucking suck. but they've got an arcade, so if we both bomb at bowling, at least there's that!”

“an arcade?”

“what, you don't think i could beat your ass at pinball?”

“oh i think i could destroy you at pinball, actually!” you laugh into the speaker

“big talk, cheerleader,” nat says, her smirk audible. “guess we'll see, huh?”

“guess we will,” you reply, still smiling.

there's a moment of silence before she speaks again, her tone quieter now. “see you tomorrow, then. don't flake!”

“i won't," you promise. “you better not either!”

nat scoffs lightly. “yeah, yeah. see you at eight!”

before you can respond, the line goes dead, leaving you with the telephone pressed to your ear, smiling like an idiot.

— a/n: happy new year everyone!! here’s the first part of my little nat series (masterlist) <3

[rhiannonsknife]

— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (part 3)

— summary: you try to cope with what happened. nat notices. masterlist.

— warnings: period typical homophobia. angst. hurt/comfort. fluff. friends to lovers.

nat has always been good at reading people. it’s a survival skill more than anything; you learn to read people when you grow up like she did, learn to predict their next moves. it’s also one of the things that’s made her such a strong player on the field: she can sense when an opponent is off balance, when the game isn’t quite going their way. that’s when she knows it is her turn to strike.

right now, it’s not the soccer she’s worried about. it’s you.

since the night at the arcade and bowling alley, things have felt different. you’ve been distant, not quite yourself, but nat can’t put her finger on it. it’s like she’s missing the center piece of a puzzle.

it’s subtle at first. in the hallway before first period, she catches sight of you by your locker, but when she raises a hand to wave, you’re already turning away. you disappear into the crowd like you didn’t see her. perhaps you really didn’t.

usually, you’re the one who greets her with that big, easy smile. it doesn’t sit right with her that that is gone.

later that day, when she sees you again, even your posture is unlike you. there’s a tension in the way you hold yourself, like you’re bracing for something to happen.

even the cheerleaders you’re usually surrounded by seem to act different. they’re too stiff. too quiet.

she debates walking over, but something holds her back. nat doesn’t want to push it if you’re having a bad day. besides, she has a game coming up and jackie’s already on her about ‘not getting distracted’.

still, the suspicion deepens as the day drags on. even during practice, she can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. the other yellowjackets are their usual rowdy selves, joking around as they warm up, but nat can’t focus. her passes are sloppy, her shots off-target. when jackie calls her out in passing, nat just shrugs, muttering something about a bad night’s sleep.

she keeps glancing at the sidelines, half-expecting you to show up. you’d usually be there, exiting gym with some of the other girls from cheer squad.

it’s not until the end of practice, when van throws her an arm and says, “oh, by the way, saw your little cheerleader watching us yesterday,” that some of the pieces start to fall into place.

nat freezes, water bottle halfway to her mouth. “what?”

“your girl,” van says with a grin, peeling off her gloves. “she was out by the bleachers during warm-ups. thought she’d come say hi, but she didn’t stick around long. weird, huh?”

nat frowns, her mind racing. she doesn’t get a chance to ask because practice ends, and jackie’s already calling out that everyone’s heading to the diner.

she barely hears the rest of van’s words, and doesn’t follow the team that night. she heads home with her mind tangled in questions instead, too preoccupied with worrying about you to enjoy the usual yellowjacket-bonding activities jackie suggests. the thoughts gnaw at her. maybe you were just passing through. maybe it didn’t mean anything.

it is so unlike herself to spend as much time worrying about somebody else. a cheerleader, out of all people.

nat scoffs and pushes her headphones over her ears, flipping the tape in her walkman to rewind. whatever you’re doing to her, she doesn’t like it.

the next day, things feel off again.

nat starts looking for you in the hallways between classes, expecting at least a smile or a shy greeting, but you’re nowhere to be found.

when she does catch a glimpse of you -on your way out of the cafeteria, books clutched tight to your chest- you move like you’re in a hurry, and she doesn’t have time to call out to you before you disappear down the next hall.

her frustration mounts over the next few days. you don’t sit at the same spot on the bleachers during practice. you don’t linger near the field after school. you don’t wave at her in passing. she doesn’t even see you with the rest of the cheerleaders at practice.

it’s not outright avoidance, nat tells herself, you’re probably just busy. but it’s the absence that stings. the absence of you, and the silence that comes with it. nat hates that she cares.

but she does, to a point where even van starts to notice:

“hey, whatever happened to your cheerleader?” she asks casually one afternoon, tossing a soccer ball up and catching it repeatedly. “thought she’d be hanging around more by now. did you scare her off or something?”

“oh fuck off,” she mutters, lacing up her cleats. “maybe she’s just got other stuff going on?”

van doesn’t press, but nat can feel her curious gaze lingering. she’s not sure what it is with the yellowjackets’ goalkeeper, but something in the way van glances her way tells nat that she knows more than she lets on.

by the time the week ends, nat’s patience has run thin. she spends practice distracted, eyes flicking to the gym’s exit every chance she gets, hoping to catch sight of you.

nothing.

it’s friday, and the team is gathered on the field, but nat is barely paying attention.

“are you okay?” jackie calls from the sidelines, clearly fully in her role as the team’s captain as she stretches one leg out in front of her.

“yeah,” nat says, but it comes out too sharp. she busies herself with tightening her laces, trying to ignore the knot forming in her stomach. jackie raises an eyebrow at her tone, but van is already jogging over before she can ask further questions. “still thinking about your cheerleader?”

nat shoots her a glare. van just smirks.

“i’m just saying,” she holds up her hands up in mock surrender. “if i were you, i’d just ask her what’s up! easier than moping about it!”

“i’m not moping,” nat snaps, but van is running off again, laughing at something tai is calling out in their direction.

nat bites back a sarcastic reply, knowing jackie is still in earshot. besides, van is right: it’s not like you’ve vanished. you’re just…distant. out of reach. it’s starting to feel like you’ve put up some kind of wall that nat can’t get past.

she doesn’t know why it’s bothering her so much, but it is.

monday comes too quickly.

the weekend hadn’t been nearly enough time to figure out what to do, to pick yourself up after everything that happened, or to muster the courage to face the week ahead.

you’d considered skipping school entirely, at least for a few days. it’s not like you haven’t done it before, but this feels different.

only the thought of walking those halls again, of hearing the whispers and feeling the stares burn into your back, makes you feel nauseous. the cheer squad’s words still echo in your mind. you’ve replayed the confrontation too many times, trying to figure out where it all went wrong, trying to convince yourself that maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought. but it was. you know it was.

you almost don’t make it to school at all: you stare at the ceiling for an extra hour that morning, the temptation of just saying in bed much more pleasant than having to face it all over again. you could stay home. no one would care. no one would even notice.

in the end of the day, and pathetically enough, it is the thought of nat that gets you out of bed: her laugh, her warmth, the way she looked at you when you felt like everything was falling apart in that party bathroom. the way she stood up for you at the arcade. she’s the first person who ever dared to speak to your ex like this and she did it for you.

you make it to school, at least, but it doesn’t feel much like an accomplishment. every step down the hallway feels more like a punishment, every glance thrown your way sharper than the last.

by the time lunch rolls around, you’re ready to call it quits and leave, but as you make your way into the cafeteria, something stops you in your tracks.

it’s nat.

she’s sitting with van, laughing about something. her hair is in its usual mess, her jacket -the one she let you borrow- slung over one shoulder.

you curls your hands to fists by your sides, debating whether to slip out unnoticed. before you can decide on what to do, she looks up.

nat sees you and catches up with you before you make it to the door and escape the confrontation.

“hey!” she calls, her voice cutting through the cafeteria noise. “wait up!”

you freeze, despite every muscle in your body screaming for you to keep walking. when you turn around, nat is closing the distance between you, her expression soft but still cautious.

“hey,” you manage to say, barely above a whisper.

she tilts her head. “what’s going on with you?”

“nothing. i’m fine,”

nat doesn’t buy it. “bullshit,” she scoffs. “you’ve been avoiding me all week. you barely even look at me anymore. did i do something?”

her assumption hits like a punch to the gut. of course she’d think this is about her. of course she’d blame herself.

“no!” you promise quickly, shaking your head. “it’s not you. i swear!”

“then what is it?” she asks, her voice softer now, yet still firm. “because something is wrong. don’t tell me it’s nothing, because i know it’s not!”

you glance around the cafeteria, all the noise and movement suddenly overwhelming. your skin prickles with the sensation of too many eyes, too many voices.

“can we not do this here?”

“come on,” nat says, noticing your discomfort and jerking her head toward the exit. she steers you outside, past the parking lot and down the familiar route to the soccer field. it’s cooler out here, but quieter too. she stops by the bleachers, climbing up a few rows before settling down and gesturing for you to join her. the wide-open space seems almost jarring after the cramped, noisy cafeteria. it feels better. less suffocating.

“okay,” nat says, leaning back on her hands, her sharp gaze locked on you. “talk to me!”

you hesitate before sitting down next to her. “i…” you start, your voice faltering. “it’s complicated!”

“uncomplicate it,” she prompts. “just tell me what’s going on!”

the words stick in your throat. you glance at her, then down at your hands, then out at the empty soccer field. “i’m trying,”

nat softens, her posture relaxing as she sits up straighter. “take your time,” she says gently. “i’m not going anywhere!”

her patience only makes it harder to hold everything in. you can feel the walls you’ve built up over the week starting to crack. you swallow hard, your throat dry as you stare out at the empty pitch. still, nat waits, her gaze steady, unrelenting but patient.

“it’s the cheer squad,” you say, finally.

nat frowns, her brows knitting together. “what about them?”

you laugh, but it’s bitter, and doesn’t sound like you at all. “they found out about us. well-” you shake your head and cut yourself off, your cheeks burning hot. “not us. because there isn’t an ‘us’! but they saw me with you. and that was enough,”

nat leans forward, her elbows on her knees as she taps her index against her cheek. the dark nail polish is a stark contrast to her pale skin. “enough for what?”

you bite the inside of your cheek. “enough for them to tell me that i’m…not one of them anymore,”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

you shrug, looking anywhere but at her. “it means i’m out. subtly, of course. they didn’t kick me out outright or anything. just made it clear that if i stayed, it’d be hell. so i left!”

you hate how small your voice sounds, how defeated you feel just admitting it.

“because they think you’re gay?”

“because they know i’m gay,” you correct sharply. “because they saw you with me and that’s enough, apparently!”

nat’s frown deepens, her eyes narrowing. “that’s bullshit. they don’t get to treat you like that. they don’t get to make you feel like this!”

“yeah, well, they’ve got a point”

“what the hell are you talking about?”

you gesture to the field, the bleachers, the school behind you. “this is wiskayok. people like me don’t get to have normal lives here. we don’t get to fit in. what happens when they start looking at you, too?”

nat stares at you, her jaw set. “what are you saying?”

“i’m saying i don’t want to drag you down with me!” the words burst out of you. you’re standing now, pacing a few steps before spinning back around to face her. “you have things going for you, nat! you’re part of the yellowjackets, you-“

“and you think i care about any of that?” nat cuts in.

“well, you should,” you shoot back. “because if they start whispering about you, you might lose it too!”

“you think i’m scared of a bunch of idiots who can’t mind their own business? you think i’m going to let them decide who i spend my time with?”

the conviction in her voice makes your heart stutter. you open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out and nat is quick to speak again:

“they don’t matter,” she says firmly. “not the cheerleaders, not the assholes who whisper behind your back. and they sure as hell don’t get to decide who i want to be around!”

“it’s not that simple, nat. you don’t get it,”

“then explain it to me,” she urges. “because all i see is you trying to carry this shit on your own when you don’t have to!”

her words hit something raw inside you, a soft spot you’ve been trying to ignore for the past weeks. you clutch the strap of your bag like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded. “i just…” your voice falters, and you look away, unable to meet her eyes. “i don’t want to ruin your life, too.”

nat scoffs. when you glance up at her, she’s smirking at you like you just said the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard. “you think you’re that powerful?” she teases, one brow quirking up. “like you could ruin me even if you tried?”

her expression softens, and she steps closer, placing a hand on your arm. “listen,” she says seriously. “people are already talking about me. they’ve been for years.” she lets out a soft chuckle, shaking her head. “do you think i care what they say?”

you look at her, something inside you flickering with relief.

“besides,” nat adds, her grin returning, “you’re free now. no more cheerleading drama. i’d say you should join us at yellowjackets practice. we could always use another player. i’m sure you’d be great!”

the suggestion is so absurd that you actually laugh, the sound surprising both of you. “yeah, right. i suck at soccer!”

“exactly,” she says. “that’s why it’d be fun!” her smile softens as she looks at you. “you don’t have to carry this on your own,” nat says after a moment.

you’re not sure what’s coming next, but for the first time in days, the weight feels a little bit lighter.

“alright, alright,” you say. “just don’t expect me to score any goals. i’ll be more of a cheerleader than anything else!”

“hey, we could always use a personal backup cheerleader,” she grins, clearly not letting up on the joke.

it starts small.

at first, you linger on the bleachers during practice, trying not to feel so out of place as the team runs drills. nat doesn’t make a big deal out of it, she just shoots you a quick grin every now and then, like it’s the most natural thing in the world for you to be there, studying or getting homework done while the team practices.

the first time you sit through a full practice, you’re mostly ignored. van waves casually in passing, but the others are too focused to pay much attention. you’re fine with that, just being there feels like enough. it’s a welcome distraction from the gnawing ache in your chest every time you think about cheerleading and the fact that you would normally be in the gym with the rest of them at this time.

by the second week, though, things shift. jackie starts teasing you during water breaks, nudging nat with an exaggerated, “so, this is why you’re suddenly on time to practice!”

nat just rolls her eyes, but you catch the faint pink creeping up her neck as she mutters something about jackie minding her own business.

“hey, don’t scare her off,” van chimes in, grinning as she tosses her gloves onto the bench next to you. “we need like…a mascot or something!“

you snort. “pretty sure that’s not how soccer works!“

“we’ll make it work,” van says, plopping down beside you. “cmon, nat’s playing better since you’ve been here!”

nat glares at her. “oh you’re so full of it!”

“am i, though?” she quips, smirking beside you. “i’m just saying, she’s got a stake in this now. right?”

being around them feels easier every day, like you’re part of something even if you’re not on the team.

nat starts walking you home after practice too, her bag slung over one shoulder as you trail down the familiar streets. she doesn’t push you to talk about cheerleading or the girls who used to be your friends. instead, she fills the silence with stories about the team you’re now frequently hanging out with.

“i think i like your team way better than mine,” you admit once.

nat gives you a sidelong glance, her grin softening. “you could’ve joined us from the start, you know?”

as the days pass, you get used to the routines of yellowjackets practice. you start to learn some of their names and habits too: lottie, who always has a kind word when you catch her eye; misty, who’s not a player but still always tries her very hardest to be a part somehow, tai, whose competitive streak rivals nat’s and who’s always lingering near van, especially when they think no one’s watching.

by the third week, you’re no longer just a quiet presence on the sidelines. you cheer them on during scrimmages, laugh at their jokes, and trade sarcastic remarks with some of them in passing.

it’s not the same as cheerleading, not even close, but it feels like a new kind of belonging, one that doesn’t come with hushed judgment or conditional friendships.

one afternoon, as you’re sitting on the bleachers with nat’s jacket draped over your shoulders, she jogs over.

“hey,” she says, her voice casual but her eyes bright. “wanna come kick the ball around? you’ve been sitting there long enough. might as well see if you’re any good!”

you hesitate, glancing at the rest of the team. they must’ve planned this, judging by the way they’re all watching expectantly. “i don’t know…i’d probably suck!”

“probably,” she says, smirking. “but it’d be funny to watch!”

van, overhearing, calls out, “do it! we’ll let you take a shot at shauna!”

“i’m not even a goalie!” shauna yells back, laughing.

“well somebody has to go easy on her!”

before you can protest, nat grabs your hand and pulls you onto the field. it is warm against yours and your pulse quickens, not from the sudden movement, but from the way her fingers curl around yours like she’s done it a thousand times before. it takes you right back to the arcade, where she had shown you how to hold the plastic gun. this time, you don’t mind any of the eyes on you.

she guides you further onto the field, her fingers never leaving yours.

“don’t you dare let me miss,” you warn nat under your breath.

she grins, squeezing your hand lightly. “just don’t kick the ball into the stands!” her teasing tone softens the jab, but you can still feel your cheeks heat up.

“that’s a low blow!”

“you’re the one who’s scared to take a shot!”

van’s voice cuts through the moment, louder and playful from the sidelines. “you heard the girl! don’t let her chicken out, scatorccio!”

“shut up!” you and nat yell in unison as you turn to glare at her. it makes all three of you laugh.

the rest of the team, now standing around you to watch, joins in with their own shouts of encouragement.

“you’ve got this!” jackie says confidently, leaning against the goalpost. “show us that cheerleader skill!”

“do it like you’re trying to get a perfect high kick,” tai adds, her words more helpful in spirit than in practicality. you’re not even sure what that’s supposed to mean, and you give her an exasperated look. “oh, great, now you’re all expecting me to do some dramatic stunt!”

nat, still beside you, rests a hand on your shoulder, grounding you. her touch is steady, the faint pressure comforting. her breath is warm against your skin as she leans closer, her voice low and steady. “don’t overthink it. just…kick the damn ball!”

you take a deep breath, the cool air filling your lungs as you step toward the soccer ball. all eyes on the pitch are on you, watching expectantly. oddly enough, there’s something almost reassuring about it, too, like they’re are rooting for you no matter what.

at cheer practice, whenever you would be learning a new formation, it always seemed like everyone was just waiting for someone to slip, to mess up, to make a fool of themselves. it was as if the entire point of the drill was to expose the weaknesses, to create a moment where one mistake could make the rest of the team look even better. the pressure felt like a weight, and it was easy to feel like you were always on the verge of falling short. the yellowjackets are nothing like that.

there’s no sense of waiting for failure, no quiet anticipation for someone to trip or falter. instead, there’s a quiet kind of confidence in the air, an understanding that everyone will pick each other up.

so, you swing your leg, the kick sending the ball spinning wildly to the left, nowhere near the goal. it lands with an unceremonious thud far off target, and you can already hear the snickers.

“smooth,” shauna deadpans from the goal, but there’s no judgment in her voice, just the faintest hint of amusement.

the team bursts into playful applause. “nice try!” van shouts, cupping her hands around her mouth for extra volume. “better luck next time!”

nat shakes her head, though her smile hasn’t wavered and you laugh, along with her. “i think for now i’ll just cheer from the sidelines.”

as you make your way back to the bleachers, laughing with the team, you can’t help but think that maybe this is what belonging feels like. even if you still don’t quite know where you fit, here, on the edge of the field with nat and the yellowjackets, it’s starting to feel like home in a way the cheer squad never did.

the roar of the crowd echoes in your ears as you settle into your seat on the bleachers, a strange mix of excitement and nerves fluttering through your body.

it’s your first time watching the yellowjackets play without standing among the cheerleaders. instead of a uniform and pom-poms, you’re just you, blending into the sea of spectators, some from wiskayok, some from the school of the opponents -a senior varsity from new york.

still, you spot the cheerleaders easily, their bright uniforms as eye-catching as ever while they chant and pump up the crowd. your ex is there too, of course, amongst the many familiar faces in the lineup.

for the first time, you don’t feel the same sting that usually comes from watching them, from watching her. your focus is elsewhere.

you don’t even have force your eyes away from the cheer squad; they search the field naturally until they land on nat. she’s already in motion, sprinting across the grass, her movements so fluid, so effortless it’s impossible not to be mesmerized and you barely notice the people around you shouting and clapping as the game begins.

nat hasn’t noticed you yet, and you let yourself enjoy being invisible in the crowd for a while, relishing the rare feeling of blending in, of not being the center of attention for once. watching her play is exhilarating. it’s a side of her you’ve only ever seen in glimpses before: when she’s caught up in something that matters to her, when nothing else exists but the game.

the game passes in a blur of goals and tackles, with the yellowjackets easily dominating their opponents. you don’t even realize how invested you are until the final whistle blows and the crowd erupts in cheers. they won.

they all rush toward each other on the pitch, jumping and shouting in celebration, but nat turns. her head swivels, scanning the stands as if she’s searching for something. someone. and then, her eyes land on yours. you freeze in surprise as a grin spreads across her face, like she’s found exactly what she was looking for. nat doesn’t hesitate. while the rest of the yellowjackets are still celebrating, she sprints toward you, weaving through the crowd until she’s standing at the edge of the bleachers, looking up at you from below.

“you made it!” she says, her voice carrying easily over the noise of the crowd, still breathless from the match.

“of course,” you reply, your heart racing for reasons beyond the final score. the world seems to narrow, the cheering fading into the background as you meet nat’s eyes.

her smile widens, and without another word, she reaches out a hand. “come on,” nat prompts, grinning.

she steps closer and extends her hand. your eyes dart around the chaos on the field: the yellowjackets are still caught up celebrating their win, their shouts and laughter echoing across the grass. meanwhile, the cheerleaders are packing up, your ex among them, her back turned to you. if she’s noticed you at all, she’s too stubborn to let it show.

you look back at nat, her hand still outstretched. the look with which she’s looking up at you -hopeful, expectant, like she’s daring you- is impossible to resist and so you reach out, your fingers brushing hers. she closes them around your wrist immediately.

nat doesn’t hesitate, her hand firm as she pulls you down onto the field with her.

the yellowjackets notice almost immediately. van is the first to turn, grinning as she nudges tai. the two of them share a knowing look as van calls out; “look who’s crashing the victory party,”

nat rolls her eyes but, still, she doesn’t let go of your hand. “she’s with me,”

the words send a jolt through you, as simple as they are. it is not the first time you realize the effect nat has on you, but it is the first time you don’t feel the usual sense of shame that had come with any romantic feelings for your ex.

van smirks, throwing an arm around tai’s shoulders. “we figured. took you long enough, scatorccio!”

nat ignores her, turning her attention back to you. “lottie is hosting a post-game hangout,” she says, her thumb brushing lightly against your hand before she realizes and loosens her grip, quickly pulling her hand away. “you’re coming, right?”

“what, now you’re inviting me to hang out?” you can’t help but tease, thinking back to the efforts it took to get nat to warm up. the way she’s smiling at you now makes them all worth the wait.

“you’re not so bad for a cheerleader,” nat teases, nudging your shoulder. “come on!”

there’s something welcoming in the way the yellowjackets make room for you on your way to the locker rooms.

as nat laughs at something shauna says, the sound low and warm, it hits you with a clarity that nearly takes your breath away: you’re falling for her. you have been, all along, in ways you didn’t fully understand until now.

maybe, just maybe, there’s a part of her that feels the same. a part she’s not ready to say out loud yet but shows in the way she holds your hand when she lets her guard down, her grip steady and sure, as if grounding herself in you. it’s in the way her eyes linger, just a little too long, as though she’s memorizing every detail of you. and it’s in the way she said, “she’s with me,” like it wasn’t even a question, like it was the most obvious truth in the world.

[rhiannonsknife]

— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER MASTERLIST

— summary: nat falls in love with one of the cheerleaders. she's in denial about it.

— warnings: hopefully enough slow burn. lots of fluff & some nsfw content. mdni. strangers to friends to lovers. period typical homophobia.

PART 1 - you’re still getting over your past situationship when you meet nat.

PART 2 - your first date with nat takes an unexpected turn.

PART 3 - you try to cope with what happened. nat notices.

PART 4 - the party at lottie’s and its aftermath.

— masterlist

[rhiannonsknife]

https://www.tumblr.com/rhiannonsknife/769506377725050880/what-abt-a-pt-2-where-jackie-and-r-are-sharing-a?source=share

I can just imagine r and nat hanging out more since that day, and jackie not ok with that. So she confronts r but r is like "we're only friends, that's what you wanted"

— summary: this takes place after ‘what’s the name of the game’!

— warnings: the usual: some angst. implied internalized homophobia & cheating.

the shift happens slowly, almost naturally. after that day at the airport, you and nat start spending more time together. at first, it’s incidental. you end up walking out of practice at the same time, trading offhand comments about coach martinez’s “relaxed” post-championship drills (which somehow still leave everyone drenched in sweat). she’s easy to talk to in a way that surprises you: dry humor, sharp observations, and a way of understanding things without making you explain too much.

“you’re not as uptight as i thought,” nat quips one afternoon, as you wait for her to finish her smoke.

“you’re not as scary as i thought,” you fire right back, and she actually laughs.

lunches follow after that: you find yourself sitting with nat at school while she sneaks fries off your tray.

from there, the connection simply sticks. nat isn’t like jackie, or anyone else on the team, really. you don’t think you’d ever want her to be: she has a way of seeing right through people without making a big deal about it. you get the feeling she’s been through enough that she doesn’t bother with pretense, which is refreshing in a way you didn’t expect. she simply gets it. (‘it’ being your shared history of wanting somebody who’s so clearly out of your league.)

after she approached you about what’s been going on between you and jackie, it wasn’t all that hard to figure her out too. it became clearer the more time you spent around her how nat’s mood seemed to shift whenever lottie was around. just like your thing with jackie didn’t need to be verbalized, you chose not to confront nat either. instead, you both find comfort in the other’s understanding. you actually start looking forward to these moments, finding a new sort of friendship in her company.

it doesn’t go unnoticed by jackie.

it starts subtly, like the pointed glances she shoots your way when she catches you laughing at something nat said during warm-ups.

at first, you think it’s just jackie being jackie. but slowly, it becomes more apparent that she’s watching you and nat more closely than usual:

one afternoon, after practice, you and nat stay behind, chatting about everything from classes to the lingering aches in your body after the relentless drills. it feels normal, easy as it always does with her, until you catch a glance from jackie. she’s coming from the locker room with shauna, eyes narrowing slightly when she spots you. her smile falters for a moment before she waves it off and starts walking off, not looking back as she makes a show off dragging shauna away with her.

another day, you’re sitting in the cafeteria with nat, your tray half-finished, when jackie appears at the edge of the table. her eyes dart to nat, then back to you. you can practically feel the tension in the air as jackie slides into the seat next to you without waiting for an invitation. she tosses a casual “hey,” at nat but keeps her focus entirely on you.

“so, what are you two up to?” she asks, voice a little too sweet. you try to ignore it, but the way jackie’s eyes flick to nat every few seconds makes you uncomfortable.

the next time you see jackie, it’s in the hallway after your last class, for once without nat glued to your side. you’re on your way out when she catches up to you, her footsteps quick and firm behind you.

“can we talk?” she asks, her voice sharp through the otherwise empty halls.

you nod, trying to brush off the unease creeping up your spine. as soon as you turn to face her, you can tell something’s wrong. jackie’s expression is tight, controlled, like she’s trying to manage something she doesn’t want to say.

“what’s going on with you and nat?” she demands.

you blink, surprised by the sudden confrontation. “what do you mean?”

jackie exhales sharply through her nose, her nostrils flaring. “you know what i mean,” she snaps. “you’ve been spending all your time with her lately. like, all your time. at practice, after practice! hell, even at lunch!” her voice hitches and your heart sinks a little. you can see the change in jackie’s posture; the tension in her shoulders.

you take a deep breath, trying to keep your voice steady. “jackie, nat and i are just friends. that’s all!”

she shakes her head, a humorless laugh slipping out. “yeah? because it doesn’t look like that. you’re always laughing, whispering like you’ve got all these inside jokes i don’t know about. it’s like…” jackie trails off, her lips pressing into a hard line.

“like what?” you ask, your voice softer now, though the tension between you still feels like it could snap at any second.

jackie looks at you, her jaw tight, but says nothing. so you sigh, deciding to lay it out plainly. “jackie, you told me you wanted to keep things between us as just friends. i’m…i’m respecting that-“

“i know what i said,” she interjects quickly, like she’s trying to cut off whatever you’re about to say next.

“do you?” you step back, crossing your arms. “because it kind of feels like you’re just upset that i found someone who actually gets it!”

jackie freezes at that, her brows drawing together in confusion. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

you hesitate, the words hanging in the air heavier than you’d intended. there’s no taking them back now. “nat figured it out,” you admit slowly.

the reaction is instant, as you expected: her eyes widen, panic flickering across her face like she’s been struck. “what do you mean she figured it out?” she demands, her voice rising. “what did you tell her?”

“nothing!” you say quickly, taking a step forward. “jackie, i didn’t say anything. nat…she just picked up on it, okay?”

“she knows?” jackie whispers.

“she doesn’t know everything,” you try to reassure her. “she just…she could tell something was going on. and honestly? she gets it, jackie. she’s not judging you, and she’s not going to say anything. it’s not like that!”

jackie doesn’t seem reassured. she runs a hand through her hair, pacing a few steps before stopping to glare at you. “you don’t know that,” she snaps. “you can’t just assume she won’t-“

“she won’t,” you cut her off decisively. “nat isn’t like that. she’s not going to out you, jackie!”

because, of course, it’s about that again. it’s about jackie’s truth, jackie’s reputation, jackie’s fears. it doesn’t seem to occur to her that nat knows about you too.

“why didn’t you tell me?” she asks finally. “if she figured it out, why didn’t you warn me?”

“i didn’t want to make it worse,” you admit. “and…i didn’t want you to think it was something to freak out about. i wanted to protect you”

jackie lets out a bitter laugh, crossing her arms tightly. “protect me,” she repeats, with a scoff of disbelief. “from what? myself?”

you don’t answer, unsure of what she wants to hear.

she shakes her head, her jaw tightening again as her defenses snap back into place. “you think you know what’s best for me now? is that it?”

“that’s not what i said,” you reply instantly. “but, jackie…you are freaking out right now. and you don’t have to!”

her hands ball into fists at her sides before she abruptly turns away. she takes a step, then stops, shoulders rising and falling with the deep intake of breath. “i just…” jackie starts, but doesn’t finish. her head dips slightly, her voice barely audible when she finally says, “you know i didn’t want anyone else to know”

“jackie-“

“i can’t do this right now,” she interrupts. when she turns back to look at you, her expression is the one of the jackie you know, her walls firmly in place. “just…do what you want. hang out with nat. be friends. i don’t care!”

the way she storms off says otherwise, her steps quick as she disappears down the hall, leaving you standing there with the weight of everything left unsaid pressing down on you.

you had told yourself you were doing the right thing by letting jackie set the boundaries, but as you stand there, you can’t help but wonder if she’ll ever stop punishing herself, and you, for all the things she can’t say aloud.

[rhiannonsknife]

— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (part 4)

— summary: the party at lottie’s & its aftermath.

— warnings: friends to lovers. lots of fluff. the highly anticipated nsfw content. mdni. (this takes place in their last year of school. all characters in this are 18+!!)

the ‘post game hangout’ at lottie’s is in full swing by the time you and nat arrive in her car.

you half expect it to be a repeat of cheer squad gatherings: loud music, sharp glances, and judgment lurking behind every corner. but as soon as you step into lottie’s house -a massive place, bigger than any party you’ve been to before- it becomes clear this is a completely different world from what you’re used to.

it’s also much more of a party than just a ‘hangout’, but neither of you minds.

“lottie really knows how to throw a party, huh?” you say, glancing around. nat grins, giving you a playful side-eye. “she’s got the biggest house, so she kinda has to,”

the sound of music and muffled laughter spills from inside as you approach, punctuated by the occasional cheer or shout from someone already a few drinks deep.

“we don’t do small, cheerleader!”

“i can see that,” your eyes sweep over the pristine lawn and the line of cars already parked in the long driveway. nat gestures towards the door. “ready?”

you nod, even though you can feel the nerves bubbling up inside you. it’s not the party itself that unsettles you, it’s the fact that you’re walking in with nat. for all the teasing from the yellowjackets earlier, the lines between what you feel and what you’re allowed to feel still seem blurry and fragile.

the inside of lottie’s house is just as impressive as the exterior already gave away: the foyer opens into a sprawling living room that’s packed with people lingering in groups, red plastic cups in hand, the atmosphere buzzing.

nat nudges you with her elbow while you’re still busy taking it all in. “come on,” she says. “let’s find the others!”

just like that, you let her lead you through the crowd. there’s no weight of curious stares and whispered commentary you expected and nobody minds as you two make your way through the living room. when you finally reach the kitchen, it’s no surprise to see van perched on the kitchen island, a bottle of something strong-looking in her hand, while taissa leans against the counter next to where van’s legs are dangling, caught up in a conversation with jackie.

“hey, look who decided to show up!” van calls out, waving at you both.

nat rolls her eyes. “you just saw us on the field an hour ago,”

“yeah, but this is different,” she teases, hopping down from the counter to greet you. “field nat is all serious and intense. party nat’s a lot more fun. and hey-“ she leans in conspiratorially toward you “she’s even more fun when you’re around!”

nat shakes her head, but you can see the faintest hint of color creeping up her neck. “i’m grabbing drinks!” she announces to the group, shooting you a quick glance before disappearing toward the living room.

you’re left standing awkwardly near the doorway until jackie waves you over to join them. “c’mon, don’t just stand there!”

you hesitate but ultimately follow her lead, perching on the edge of the counter while van leans in, her grin mischievous.

“sooo…” she begins, drawing out the word. “how long’s this been a thing?”

you blink, caught off guard. “what?”

“when did you and nat figure this thing out?” taissa chimes in.

“i don’t- there’s no- what thing?”

jackie gives a soft laugh. “come on, don’t play dumb! nat’s been acting like a completely different person lately. more focused, less grumpy. it’s cute, really!”

tai leans in, her voice low but teasing. “it’s pretty obvious. she’s been head over heels for you since, what? the arcade?”

your cheeks heat as you stammer, “we’re not- she hasn’t- there’s nothing going on!”

jackie exchanges a knowing look with the two. “if you say so,” she mumbles teasingly over the edge of her cup.

van, on the other hand, doesn’t let up. “c’mon, it’s fine! we’re just saying it’s nice to see her like this! she’s, i dunno… softer? it’s not a bad thing!”

you laugh awkwardly, unsure how to respond. before you get the chance to tell them that there really isn’t anything going on, nat returns, drinks in hand. the others exchange more looks as she strides over.

“there we go,” she says, handing you a cup, her fingers brushing yours briefly in the process. even as you take it from her, your mind is still reeling from what van, jackie and taissa just said. nat, head over heels for you?

“so,” she asks. “what did i miss? what are you guys talking about?”

“nothing,” van says innocently, her grin suggesting otherwise.

“right…” nat says, slowly lifting her cup to her lips.

the conversation shifts after that, the others diving into lighthearted banter about the game, but your mind lingers on what they said.

you glance down at nat once, catching her watching you out of the corner of her eye. she quickly looks away, taking a sip from her drink, but the small, almost shy smile that follows makes your pulse quicken.

all throughout the conversation, you’re hyper-aware of nat’s presence below you, standing close enough to where you’re perched upon the kitchen counter for you to smell the faint scent of her cologne and feel the warmth that radiates off her even though she’s not quite touching you.

the others are deep in their talk, laughing about some ridiculous inside joke that you don’t quite understand but can’t help smiling at. you feel lighter than you have in weeks, lighter than you ever did amongst the cheerleaders, like you’re finally where you belong.

still, your gaze keeps drifting back to nat, the reason why you’re here to begin with, why you get to belong like that.

it’s the shift of the music in the background, a louder, more fast paced song, snaps you out of your thoughts. a few people filter onto the makeshift dance floor that lottie has cleared in the living room, swaying awkwardly at first before finding a rhythm as a larger group gathers.

you glance back at nat as an idea begins to take shape.

“do you wanna dance?” you ask, your voice quieter than you intended but still enough to catch only her attention. nat freezes mid-sip, her eyes widening slightly as she looks at you like you’ve just suggested something completely outrageous. “dance?”

your nod, grinning despite the nerves. “yeah, you know…where you move around to music. it’s kind of a thing people do at parties?”

her lips twitch into a smirk and she sets her drink down on the counter. “i know what dancing is, smartass. i just don’t…do it!”

“why not? scared you’ll look stupid?”

she scoffs, crossing her arms. “i don’t look stupid. just don’t like it. it’s not my thing,”

“come on!” you plead, now drawing the attention of the others as well. “just one dance! for fun? for me!”

for a moment, nat looks like she’s about to argue again, her brow furrowing as if she’s searching for an excuse. but then her eyes meet yours, and whatever she sees there makes her hesitate.

“show us how it’s done scatorccio!” van interrupts her train of thought, already urging her forward.

“fine,” nat mutters, pushing herself away from the counter, then waiting for you to hop off after. “but, i swear to god, if i step on your toes, it’s on you!”

you laugh, grabbing her hand before she can change her mind. “deal,”

you don’t need to turn your head to feel the eyes of all three girls on you as you make your way across the room.

leading her to the dance floor, you notice the way her hand lingers in yours, her grip firm, like she’s still not sure what to do with herself. the two of you find a spot near the edge, the lights dim and the music low, and you turn to face her with a grin.

“see? not so bad, right?”

“you haven’t even started yet!”

you turn so your back is to her front, already swaying to the rhythm of the song. nat hesitates for a beat before resting her hands awkwardly on your waist. it’s stiff and a little awkward at first, but the warmth of her touch sends a pleasant shiver through your body.

“relax,” you tease, moving against her. “you’re not being graded on this!”

she huffs out a laugh, her shoulders loosening just a bit. “easy for you to say. you’re probably great at this! you’re a cheerleader!”

the two of you settle into an easy rhythm, and while nat is still clearly out of her comfort zone, she starts to relax, her movements becoming less stilted. you can still feel the eyes of her teammates watching from the kitchen, but for once, you don’t care who sees. it’s just you and nat.

at one point, she leans in just a little closer. her voice is low and her fingers hook around the belt loops of your jeans as she murmurs, “this isn’t terrible,”

you laugh, your heart skipping at the new proximity. “told you so!”

the music flows seamlessly from one track to the next yet nat doesn’t leave the dance floor after the first song like you half expected her to. instead, she stays, her presence warm behind you, her fingers gentle on your waist.

even as the upbeat tempo shifts to something a little slower, you’re quick to tug her hand, keeping her on the floor so she won’t flee from you.

“not letting me off that easy, are you?”

instead of replying, nat spins you gently, making you laugh as you end up face to face, more suited for a slow dance like this. instinctively, you drape your arms over her shoulders and lace your fingers behind her back.

nat’s body seems much more relaxed now, her grip on your waist softer, her movements less self-conscious. you’re still swaying together, but there’s something gentler about it now, something intimate, with the soft glow of the lights playing across her features.

at this point, you’re hyper-aware of her hands on you and how close she’s standing. so close her hair brushes your cheek when she tilts her head, so close you can feel the shudder in her breath, sending a shiver down your spine that you hope she doesn’t notice.

“you’re getting the hang of it,” you mumble.

“don’t push it. this is already way more than just one dance,”

“it’s called making up for lost time,” you counter. “you’re doing great!”

nat snorts, shaking her head. “dont lie! i’m terrible at this!”

without hesitation, you tighten your grip on the back of her neck, pulling her gaze back to yours. “nat,” you say softly, catching her attention. “nat, seriously, you’re really not,” you insist, meeting her eyes.

the room seems to shrink as the two of you sway to the slower rhythm. the din of conversation and laughter fades into the background, leaving just the soft hum of music and the warmth of her presence in front of you. you glance up at her through your lashes, heart racing at how close she is. her gaze flickers down to meet your eyes, then drops lower, to your mouth, and for a moment, the world feels like it tilts on its axis.

the song begins to fade, and before either of you can move, someone takes over the stereo. the slow melody is abruptly replaced by an upbeat, fast-paced track that jolts you back to reality.

nat groans dramatically, stepping back with a shake of her head. “that’s my cue to get off this death trap!”

you laugh, reluctantly letting her slip away. if it wasn’t already, the party is in full swing now, with people around you shouting and singing along to the lyrics.

you follow nat, intending to tease her about her endurance, but something else catches your eye as she brushes her hand over her face: the faint smudge of black along her lower lash line, where the eyeliner she always wears has started to smear.

“wait,” you stop her just before she reaches the comfort of the kitchen the other yellowjackets seem to have claimed. “your eyeliner’s all smudged!”

“what?” nat frowns, her hand flying up to touch her cheekbone, wiping at her eye in an attempt to fix it. “are you serious?”

“stop,” you chuckle, reaching out to still her hand. “you’re only gonna make it worse! come on!”

“i can do it myself,” she protests, though she doesn’t pull away.

you tug her down the hallway, weaving through the crowd toward where you assume the bathroom is. even though she grumbles something under her breath about not caring how she looks, she doesn’t let go of your hand.

you close the door behind you, and nat stands just inside, her posture uncertain. 

“sit,” you order, pointing to the closed toilet seat. “i’ll take care of it.”

she blinks before sitting down, knees pressed together, her hands resting awkwardly in her lap.

nat watches you, tracing every movement you make as you open your purse and pull out the small makeup bag. “do you really carry all that around with you?” she asks, her gaze meeting yours in the reflection of your mirror.

“hey! it’s for emergency touch-ups! comes in handy now, doesn’t it?” you laugh. “i could also leave you to look like a raccoon, if you want?”

nat huffs, shaking her head. “fine, fine. just get it over with.”

you turn around and step in, your knees brushing lightly against her legs. carefully, you move your fingers, steadying the eyeliner pencil.

“don’t make it weird,” she mutters.

you lift her chin gently to get a better angle, brushing her cheek with the pads of your fingers. “i’m not, i promise,”

nat doesn’t flinch when you trace her waterline, her eyes looking up as she stays still, her breath catching just a little as you work. there’s an undeniable pull now, an electric charge that shoots up your spine every time you glance at her.

you try to focus on the task, try to steady your hands, but it’s hard to concentrate when nat is so close. your heart beats louder than the soft scratch of the pencil on her skin.

“almost done,” you murmur.

when you finish, you lower the pencil and meet her touched-up eyes. they're wide as they turn to meet yours, her lips slightly parted. you don’t step back like you probably should. you don’t even remove your hands from her cheeks, where they still sit firmly.

there’s only the two of you and that undeniable pull. you’ve tried pushing it away, you’ve tried ignoring it. you’re tired of pretending like it’s not there.

you inhale deeply, your fingers tightening on her face and nat’s eyes fall to your lips. this time, it’s not a stolen glance either. it’s there, right in front of you, with neither of you bothering to hide it.

you’re about to close the space between you, when the door suddenly bursts open with a loud bang.

“guys!” van’s voice bursts through, full of energy and excitement. “you’re not gonna believe this, but-“ she stops mid-sentence when she sees you two, the scene frozen in place. for a beat, all three of you stand there, the room suddenly feeling much too small. van blinks a couple of times, clearly processing the intimate scene she’s interrupted, then grins from ear to ear.

“randy lost a bet and is jumping in the pool fully clothed!“ she announces. “but i guess you guys are…busy in there. i’ll leave you to it”

she’s already turning on her heel again, clearly not wanting to miss out on it. “remember to use protection kids!” she calls as she rushes down the hall. “don’t want any surprise bets on the way!”

you pull away just slightly, your heart still thudding loudly in your chest.

“uh, yeah,” nat says, clearing her throat, the moment slipping away from you. “we’ll be out in a minute!”

the second the door clicks shut, you and nat both exhale, as if you’d been holding your breath this entire time.

“i-“ nat starts but, for once, she doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“uh- i guess we should-“ you gesture over to where van had gone.

“yeah. yeah, definitely.”

you both stand in silence for another moment. for one last second, you think she might reach for you again. but she doesn’t. instead, nat takes a step back toward the door.

“wouldn’t want to miss out on that,” she says with a slight, uncertain grin, trying to shake off the awkwardness.

randy, true to his words, does make the fully-dressed dive into lottie’s pool, which earns him laughter and applause from the spectators surrounding the scene. the water splashes high as he emerges, dripping wet and grinning like a madman.

you don't catch half of it, too preoccupied with watching nat from across the yard, laughing with the rest of her teammates. you should have kissed that smiling mouth when you had the chance.

by the time the party begins to wind down hours later, only a few yellowjackets remain. the energy in the living room is mellowed but still full of warmth. van and taissa are the last women standing, still swaying to the beat of some toto song that's playing from the stereo. on the couch, shauna and jackie are curled up together, their heads close, their low murmurs barely audible over the fading music.

you stand near nat, a comfortable silence between you two as you observe the scene.

“guess it’s time to go,” nat says quietly, fiddling with the carabiner on her jeans as she searches for her keys. “lottie!” she calls, catching her attention from where she's chatting with laura lee -the only one of the group who’s still completely sober.

nat untangles the keys and holds them up. “i’ll leave the car here for the night, alright? just move it if it’s in the way!” she explains, setting them down on the table.

“you two heading out?”

“yeah, just walking home,” you tell lottie, nudging nat with your elbow.

“alright,” she hums, waving goodbye. “good night,”

“night!” you both call out to the group before turning to leave.

the cool night air is refreshing after hours in the suffocating warmth of lottie’s place and the streets seem quieter, the house fading in the distance as you walk side by side.

her hand brushes against yours every now and then, but neither of you makes a move just yet. the streetlights flicker above, casting soft golden light on the pavement ahead. you don’t speak right away, both of you settling into a comfortable silence as you walk.

the distance to your house is surprisingly short, but every step feels like it lasts a little longer than it should, like neither of you is ready for the night to end. it’s strange how just walking with nat feels like it could stretch into infinity, and you’d be content with that.

when you do reach the front porch, you stop, hand resting on the railing. nat lingers at the bottom of the stairs behind you, her own hands shoved in her pockets, not in any hurry to leave. you turn to face her, your pulse quickening in the stillness of the night.

finally, you find your voice: “thanks for tonight, nat,” you say. “i…i had a great time!”

for a beat you stand there, frozen in place, wondering if there’s more you’re supposed to say. your eyes meet hers again. you could say goodbye. you could walk inside, end the night, and pretend like there’s nothing more to it. but the moment feels too big, too full of things unsaid for you to walk away from it.

you turn fully to face her, your heart racing just a little. before you can second-guess yourself, you stumble down the stairs and grab the collar of her jacket. nat doesn’t have time to react, her eyes widening just as you pull her toward you, and in one swift motion, you press your lips to hers like you’ve been dying to all night.

everything pauses. the kiss is unexpected, quick, and electric. a mix of everything unspoken between you two. all the tension that’s built up over the weeks, all the doubts and fears, dissolve in that single, raw moment. nat’s body goes still, as if neither of you can quite process what’s happening.

then, almost as if waking up, she finally responds, her hands gently cupping your face. her lips move against yours with a softness that you hadn’t expected from nat: she’s slow at first, cautious as if she’s waiting for you to change your mind. but you pull her in closer, deepening the kiss without thinking.

the moment shatters only when you hear the faint sound of a car driving by down the street. you both jump apart then, but not far enough to break the connection. breath comes a little quicker now as you stand there on the porch, eyes locked, saying nothing.

the car drives by, leaving you invisible in the shadows of your house.

a beat.

you don't even register jumping back into motion, but suddenly, you're both stumbling back toward the door, lips locked again, hands moving instinctively, pulling each other closer. your heart beats faster with every step, every touch. you can't get enough of her.

you reach the lock, fingers fumbling with the key for a moment before it finally turns, letting you slip inside. the door closes quietly behind you, carefully pulled to avoid a sound. inside, it is quiet and dark, the house hiding you as you stand there, just breathing. nat’s forehead rests against yours, both of you too lost in the moment to speak, but the tension is still there, palpable.

nat breaks the silence first, her voice low, barely a whisper. "are we...doing this?"

you smile, your thumb brushing across her jaw as you pull her back into another kiss, slow and deliberate, like you're both savoring every second of it. you don't pull away at all this time. instead, you guide her to your room, the distance from the door to your bed feeling like miles.

you stumble against furniture and walls on the way there, giggling into each other’s mouths as you try to find your way.

when you finally make it to your room, you're both panting heavily, your hands still holding onto each other as if afraid one of you will slip away if you let go.

all the past weeks have come down to this.

nat leans down to kiss you again, even slower this time, her hands coming to rest on your waist, her fingers warm through the fabric of your clothes. you press yourself against her, and the kiss deepens, more urgent now, as though you both can't help yourselves anymore.

“we have-“ you murmur against her lips between kisses. “-to be quiet!”

nat smiles softly, nodding, her mouth brushing against your ear as she murmurs, "i think we can manage,”

you grin in relief. carefully, you make your way to the bed. the only sound is the soft rustle of clothes being discarded, and then the warmth of her hands against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

“i’ve never-“ you begin as you toss nat’s leather jacket over your chair. your teeth dig into your lower lip nervously, both because you’re admitting this to her and because you know what’s still to come.

“hey,” nat nudges your chin so you’re looking back up at her. her hands reach for your cheeks, the cold metal of her rings pressing against your skin. “it’s okay. you’re okay”

you nod on a shaky exhale and nat’s smile softens, mirroring your expression.

“we don’t have to-” she starts, but you're already cutting her off.

“no!” the word comes out too eager, too rushed, and you feel your face heat. “no. i want to!”

no matter how appreciative you are of her patience and assurance, you do feel ready. you had been the minute she’d first kissed you under the porch light (perhaps even long before that), when her chapped lips started moving against yours slowly.

nat nods once, her tongue darting out to wet her lips, and your eyes fall to her mouth, helplessly transfixed. “okay” she says quietly. “okay...”

she's on you in seconds, her lips capturing yours again, her weight pressing against you until your back hits the mattress.

your arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her impossibly closer, and she hums into your mouth, the sound vibrating against your lips. nat’s fingers skim your sides, slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, her nails dragging lightly over your skin. goosebumps rise in their wake, and you shiver involuntarily when her rings brush your bare side.

nat pulls back, her lips grazing yours as she grins. “cold?”

“a little,” you admit, breathlessly.

nat's teasing smirk only grows as she sits back on her knees, perched over your legs. her hand rests flat against your lower abdomen, just above where your shirt has ridden up, while the other ghosts over your ribs.

you reach for the one pressing against you, your thumbs circling her wrist to pull it in. you hold her hand up between you, examining the metal bands on each finger for a brief moment before leaning forward. one by one, you kiss the tips of her fingers, your lips hovering over the cool metal as you move lower.

above you, nat sucks in a sharp breath.

you glance up, and her wide, surprised eyes meet yours.

your finger brushes over her knuckles as you tug one ring free, then another. nat’s gaze follows every movement, and when you press another gentle kiss to her now-bare fingers, a tremor runs through her. you set the rings down on your bedside table and turn back up to look at nat.

the tension between you hums like a live wire, but it's not overwhelming. it's something else entirely, something that feels right.

nat swallows hard, her lips twitching upward. “better?” she asks.

“yeah,” you rasp. “way better.”

you sit up to meet her halfway this time, giving her room to peel your shirt off and toss it aside. it lands on the floor by the side of your bed softly, leaving you in a plain black bra. still, her eyes rake over your chest both hungrily and with an adoration that’s softer than anything you’ve ever seen playing out on nat’s features.

“you’re so-“ she says, her fingers twitching like she’s resisting the urge to reach out. once again, you take nat’s hand in yours and guide it to cup your breast. you both exhale simultaneously, adjusting to the new sensation. she must feel your hardened nipples through the fabric, judging by the way her gaze drops and she bites her lip.

experimentally, nat’s thumb flicks the pebbled nipple, instantly drawing a shuddered moan from you.

“nat, off,” you manage, head lulling back already.

thankfully, she complies: nat reaches around your back and smoothly unhooks the clasps. while holding the eye contact, she pulls the fabric off, exposing your bare chest to the chilly night air. she discards it carefully, letting it join the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

“you too!” you urge, fingers impatiently reaching for nat’s tank top. she smiles but helps you get it off and throws it aside, revealing the red bra she’s wearing underneath. the sight takes your breath away, and you’re stunned into silence. unlike nat, you can’t help yourself but blatantly stare.

“you’re so pretty,” you finally whisper, leaning in to kiss the swell of her breasts that spill from the bra.

nat’s now bare fingers tangle in your hair as she guides you, letting you have this. you mouth at the fabric eagerly, yet before you can pull it down, nat pushes you back into the sheets.

you don’t feel exposed like you thought you would in this position, even though you evidently are: with your hair sprawled out around your head on the pillows, your nipples hard and on full display, and your chest heaving rapidly. you can feel the wet patch in your underwear.

nat leans over you and begins kissing down the expanse of your upper body. her mouth trails down the valley between your breasts, leaving the faintest marks in the places where she sucks on your skin just a little harder.

“so pretty,” nat mumbles absentmindedly, her calloused fingertips roaming your sides. they fall to your pants next. with both eyes closed and your head thrown back into the plushy pillows, you nod.

“please,” you whisper into the space between you. a space that’s yours and nat’s only. “please!”

“i got you, cheerleader,” nat says teasingly. you blink an eye open to see her staring down at you. her hands spring into action, skilled fingers unbuttoning your jeans before unzipping them and peeling them off your legs. you kick them down the edge of the bed, leaving you completely bare except for the thin, soaked fabric of your underwear. nat must see the stain on the fabric from where she’s sitting between your knees.

her palms press flat against your legs, brushing up their length until they land on the flesh of your inner thighs and nudge them apart. if she hadn’t seen your arousal before, the pleased smile on her face when her eyes land on your crotch speaks volumes.

“holy shit,” she mutters, her voice husky and low.

you want her, you realize, more than you’ve ever wanted anything else before. you want her fingers, her mouth, whatever nat is willing to give you. you tremble with the force of allowing yourself to feel this kind of want, to let it take over you without any attempts or reasons to oppress it.

“nat,”

her eyes flick up and her fingers instinctively reach for the waistline of your panties, a silent question hanging between you.

“yes!” you nod. “yes please!”

instead of taking them off right away like you had expected, nat begins kissing up your inner thighs, occasionally letting her tongue dart out to lick over your skin.

“can i…?” she husks when her nose practically nudges the crotch of your underwear.

too impatient to deprive yourself of it any longer, you hook your fingers into the hemline yourself and push them down past your knees.

nat smiles up at you softly before she lets her eyes drop to your naked form. you can feel all the places where your wetness is sticking to your thighs, the air making you hyper-aware of all the wet spots.

“god,” she groans, her fingers running through her bleach blonde hair. “look at you…” she brings her other hand up to gently spread you open and take in the sight of your body bare before her.

you spread your legs a little wider for her, gasping when nat’s thumb brushes your clit for the first time. your soft moan makes her crawl up your body, her lips meeting yours in a searing kiss to hush you, her fingers gliding through your arousal.

“nat,” you moan against her mouth. “nat, inside.”

thankfully, nat understands. your body tenses when she slides them into you with a soft moan of her own, then immediately relaxes when she smiles against your lips. you feel yourself fluttering around her as you take nat in greedily.

“good?” she breathes, motionless until you nod erratically. that’s when she begins to move.

immediately, she’s drawing obscenely wet noises from between your thighs that echo from the walls around you. you gasp at one particular good thrust against your walls, her fingers curling against a spot that causes your eyes to roll back in your head.

you moan as your head falls back against the pillows and your mouth hangs open against nat’s. you cling to her body breathlessly, reaching around her back as her fingers work themselves deeper into you.

“mhm, i know,” nat gently whispers, “i know, that’s it, i got you,”

all her praise goes straight to your cunt, sending another wave of pleasure surging through your body. your hand finds hers through the haze and you lace your fingers together. you need to feel her, need to know that she’s still there.

“you take my fingers so well,” she praises, each word accompanied by another thrust. you nod once again, her voice sending you spiraling and gushing more arousal all over her fingers.

“i’m gonna put my mouth on you now, is that okay?” she asks.

“yeah!” you instantly assure, eyes turning to the ceiling above, mentally bracing yourself for the sensation of her lips and tongue on your pussy. “yeah, please!”

she doesn’t kiss your body as thoroughly this time for the sake of reaching her destination faster: only brushes her lips over your stomach briefly before getting comfortable between your spread legs.

your hands curl up in her hair tightly in anticipation and nat hums in response before her mouth closes around your clit and sucks. nothing could’ve ever prepared you for the actual feeling of nat scatorccio's mouth.

you can see her eyes through her sweaty bangs, catch the way they roll back in head at the first taste of you.

“oh, nat!” you moan, louder than you should, but neither of you cares. you arch your back off the soft sheets, grinding yourself against nat’s broad tongue until you feel your stomach coiling and tightening in pleasure. there’s an unrelenting tension building up there, one that’s just waiting to snap. she lets you chase your orgasm, allows you to move however you please.

“are you close?” nat murmurs against you, her fingers sliding back into your cunt so suddenly you shudder. it seems harder for her to thrust into you now, with your walls tightening around the digits.

“i think so” you manage breathlessly.

nat, spurred out by this, doubles her efforts and dives right back in, flicking your clit with her tongue and curling her fingers against your g-spot. it’s so much. it’s not nearly enough. it’s perfect.

nat sends you over the edge in mere seconds.

“that’s it,” you hear her praising.

with a cry of nat's name, you cum against the feeling of her mouth and fingers. you can still sense her voice talking you through it, but it feels distant with the pleasure rushing through your veins.

her hand squeezes yours through the orgasm, grounding you as you tremble with pleasure. not once does she take her eyes off you as you ride out the waves of your height.

only when your body stops shaking, nat pulls out, clearly not wanting to push you to a point of overstimulation. someday, you think to yourself, you might ask her to. but not tonight. tonight you want to enjoy the new experience with her and the tenderness of nat’s touch.

the next time you open your heavy lidded eyes, nat is lingering above you. she’s watching you recover through wide, curious eyes.

“hi,” she whispers when she notices.

“hi,” you chuckle, still breathless.

“was that…” nat trails off, biting her lips. “okay?”

instead of a verbal response, you cup her cheeks and crane your neck to gently kiss her lips. you can taste yourself on them and have to fight back the urge to lick your arousal from nat’s mouth.

“more than okay,” you whisper then.

you’re spinning her around before you know it, kissing nat with newfound determination as you press her into the mattress.

there’s a long night ahead of you.

the room is dim now, the only light coming from the soft glow of the streetlight outside. nat is perched on the windowsill, the cool night air blowing in through the open window. she exhales smoke, the grey tendrils curling lazily in the air before disappearing into the darkness, and you watch her.

“can i ask you something?” nat’s voice is soft, her eyes lingering on the street outside.

you nod, drawing your legs closer to your chest you as you sit beside her. “of course,”

she turns to you, a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. “what does this…what does it all mean for us? i mean, after everything with your ex, i want to be sure, you know? i don’t want you to feel like you have to rush into anything or that i’m, like, pressuring you,”

you can tell nat is trying to be careful for your sake, but it’s obvious her mind is already on what’s next. you want to reassure her, to let her know this is what you want, something that feels right in a way nothing ever did with your ex.

“nat,” you begin “it’s okay. i do want this. i want you. i’m not going anywhere!”

she blinks at you, her gaze softening as the words settle between you two. she takes a slow drag from her cigarette, letting the smoke drift out of her mouth with a sigh. then, she sets it aside on the sill, her fingers tracing a light path along the window frame.

“i just want to make sure I’m doing this right,” she murmurs. “i mean, i kinda jumped into it with you. and, look, i’ve never really been one for...all of this, you know? i want to take my time with you. show you that i want this!”

your eyes widen just slightly, a smile tugging at your lips. “you want to take your time with me?”

nat looks away for a second, clearly flustered. “i know, i know. it sounds fucking ridiculous, but…yeah. i do. i’ve never really done this right with anyone before, and i want us to take this slow!” she glances back at you. “not because i don’t want you! god, i do! it's cause i really do want to…swoon you properly”

you laugh, a light sound, your heart swelling with affection. “you’re really something, you know that?”

“a hopeless romantic,” she jokes, but you can tell there’s none of her usual sarcasm behind it.

you pull nat a little closer, your fingers brushing against her hand. “i’d love that,” you whisper, meeting her eyes. “i’d love for you to…” you grin, making a vague gesture. “swoon me”

before she can say anything else, you kiss her. it’s slow, sweet, the kind of kiss that feels like it could go on forever if you wanted it to. eventually, you do have to pull away to catch your breath.

“i’m not going anywhere either,” you assure. “take all the time you need, nat. i’m right here!”

she grins, a little sheepish but undeniably happy, and leans in to kiss you again, this time with more certainty, more trust.

“deal,” she murmurs. “but, for the record, i do want to be your girlfriend. if that’s…something you want, too?”

just when you thought this evening couldn’t get any better...

“yeah” you confirm, smiling so widely your cheeks ache from it. “that is something i want,”

weeks later…

the air is warm, bordering on too hot, a hint of summer heat creeping into the car despite the ac as the engine hums quietly. the smell of fresh grass and the distant sound of chatter from the graduation ceremony echo outside, but inside, it’s just the two of you.

you and nat are in the backseat, both of you in your graduation gowns, caps discarded carelessly on the passenger seat. the gowns, those stiff, awkward, and uncomfortable outfits, are crumpled around your bodies as you make out.

your girlfriend’s lips are warm against your own, her hand tangled in your hair as she urges you against herself. her laughter vibrates against your mouth, and you break the kiss just enough to look at her, eyes practically sparkling with mischief.

“we’re going to be late,” nat murmurs between soft kisses down your neck, her voice teasing. “they’ll be looking for us, and then we’ll be arrested for public indecency!”

you laugh, a soft, breathless noise that blends with the hum of the engine, and shake your head. “who cares?” you press your lips against hers again. “i’d rather be here with you!”

nat grins, a little breathless herself now. “yeah, me too.” she leans in again, but pulls back just as quickly, glancing at the clock on the dashboard. “we’re literally getting our diplomas in, like, 10 minutes. and we’re in the back of my car, making out. that doesn’t exactly scream ‘responsible graduates,’ does it?”

you both burst into laughter, the sound of it filling the space of her car. “let’s just skip the ceremony and do this all day,” you tease, your fingers brushing over her gown, feeling the fabric slide beneath your touch.

nat laughs again, pulling away to look at you with that same fond, playful expression she always has when she’s teasing you. “we could,” she says, “but i think the others might kill us!”

you chuckle, then glance out the window briefly. the ceremony is happening just outside the school, with enough room for all your classmates to gather for one final moment together.

you know this is it: this is a chapter closing. but for now, it doesn’t matter. all that matters is this moment. with nat and the heat of summer beginning to settle in around you.

her fingers brush your cheek, pulling your focus back to her. “we should really get out there,” she says, though there’s no real urgency in her tone. it’s clear that she wants to stay here with you just as much as you do too.

“i know,” you reply softly. then, after a pause, you add: “in a second!”

“in a second,” nat parrots, her voice full of affection. “just a few more minutes…then we can go face the world together, as graduates, yeah?”

you nod, your heart racing as her tongue briefly slips past your lips, deepening the kiss. her hand cups your cheek and her thumb brushes your skin, the free one creeping up beneath your gown, pushing your bra up and…

suddenly, there’s a loud knock on the window.

you both freeze, breaking apart so fast that nat accidentally bumps her head against the roof of the car. “shit!” she mutters, rubbing the back of her head as you whip your gaze toward the window.

outside, van is standing with a huge grin, tapping the glass with her knuckles. the rest of the team is waiting right behind her, all of them smirking knowingly.

“hey, lovebirds!” she calls, loud enough to make sure you both hear through the glass. she leans down so her face is level with the window, cupping her hands to block out the glare of the sun. “you two realize we can see you, right?” she says. “pretty sure the rest of the parking lot can too!”

nat groans, dragging a hand over her face while you stifle a laugh. she opens the door and climbs out, glaring half-heartedly at van. “ever heard of knocking quietly?” she grumbles.

“oh, i did,” van replies, her grin widening. “you just didn’t notice. wonder why…”

nat flips her off, more playful than anything. “you’re so annoying!”

“yeah, yeah.” van waves her off, completely unbothered. “let’s go, casanova!”

you climb out after nat, smoothing your gown and trying not to blush too hard under the knowing smirks of the yellowjackets gathered around.

jackie and shauna have their arms looped casually around each other as they exchange a look. “about time,” jackie says. “thought we��d have to drag you two out ourselves!”

nat snorts. “i don’t think either of you could’ve managed that!”

“don’t tempt us,” shauna fires back with a grin. “we’ve wrestled worse!”

“anyway,” taissa cuts in, grinning as she straightens the yellow sash draped over her blue gown. “can we get moving before we miss the ceremony?”

nat mutters something under her breath as she adjusts her own gown. you glance down, realizing the fabric is slightly askew where it had bunched up in the car.

“here, let me-” you step in closer, smoothing out the material over her shoulder and down her arm. your hands linger a second longer than necessary, and when you look up, nat’s gaze is soft.

van groans loudly, dragging out the sound and snapping you out of it. “oh my god, you two. we get it! you’re gross and in love! can we please go now?”

nat ignores her this time, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together under the loose fabric of the gown sleeves as she tugs you toward the others.

by the time you reach the staging area, you've all settled into an easy hum of excitement. parents and relatives of your classmates chatter nearby, camera flashes going off as the graduates start lining up.

nat pulls you aside, letting the others shuffle ahead for a moment.

“everything okay?” you ask, your voice low.

she hesitates, glancing at the bustling staging area where the rest of the yellowjackets have gathered. then her eyes return to yours. “yeah, it’s just…this is it, huh?”

you tilt your head, smiling softly. “graduation?”

“no, i mean…this. us. life after this,” she says, her voice dipping quieter. “it’s all gonna change!”

your chest tightens at her words. things with you have been going well these past weeks. great even. life after graduation had been something you always purposefully avoided. you didn’t want to ruin your last weeks of this by worrying about what would come after.

now, before you can let the thought spiral, nat squeezes your hand. “not in a bad way,” she says. “i just…i want you to know, whatever happens now, wherever we end up, you’re it for me. you know that, right?”

it’s such a simple thing, the way she says it, but it hits you like the sweetest punch to the gut. you smile at her, your chest full of a warmth you can’t quite describe. “you’re it for me too, nat,”

before you can process what’s happening, the words tumble out of nat. “god, i love you!”

it’s barely above a whisper, but it’s there: raw and real and so perfectly nat. your heart skips a beat, your eyes widening as the weight of her confession sinks in.

she freezes, clearly realizing what she’s just said. “i- i mean-” she stammers, her cheeks flushing as she starts to backtrack. “you totally don’t have to say it back or anything! i just-“

“i love you too!” your voice cuts off her rambling. relief washes over her face, and she lets out a breathy laugh. “you do?” nat asks, like she’s scared she misheard.

you nod, stepping closer until the space between you is nearly nonexistent. “yeah, nat, i do”

she grins, her hands coming up to hold your face as she leans in. you kiss her back just as eagerly, forgetting for a moment that you’re supposed to be at graduation, that there’s a whole crowd of people right around the corner.

only the sound of a camera click jolts you both back to reality. you pull apart, turning to see jackie standing a few feet away with a polaroid camera in hand and a smug grin on her face.

“oh, come on!” nat groans, her hands falling from your face as jackie waves the photo in the air.

“this is going on the fridge,” she teases, holding it just out of reach.

“give it back!” you protest, laughter bubbling out of you as nat starts toward her. “come and get it!” jackie taunts, taking off toward the rest of the group.

you glance at nat, who’s already chasing after her. without thinking, you follow.

van watches the scene unfold, shaking her head with a grin. “they’re never gonna make it on time,” she says.

“totally worth it,” taissa replies, smirking as you and nat disappear into the crowd after jackie.

somewhere across the field, the cheer squad is frantically fixing their hair and makeup, their voices filled with nervous chatter. you don’t even notice. for the first time in what feels like forever, they’re the furthest thing from your mind.

the only thing you can think about is nat: her laughter, her smile, and the way her hand feels in yours as you chase after jackie.

and as you run, breathless and alive, you realize that all of this was supposed to happen. that you are exactly where you're meant to be.

— a/n: thank you all so much for reading! this was my first actual fic “series” with multiple chapters, so i hope i did a decent job covering everything 🐉 anon requested!! i appreciate your support & feedback so so much! thank you, thank you, thank you!! <3 (also the last sentence might be a chapter 1 reference…)

[rhiannonsknife]

── ❆ DAY 16: dating nat scatorccio in the wilderness

— summary: being nat’s significant other during winter hcs.

— warnings: some hurt/comfort. gn!reader. established relationship. some slightly suggestive content.

nat, who is uncharacteristically caring when it comes to you.

especially when the cold comes. after jackie dies, it’s like something inside her sharpens; she refuses to let you be next. she is always the first to notice if you’re shivering or struggling in the cold. she might not say much, but she’ll drape her jacket or blanket over you without asking. “don’t argue” she mutters firmly. when you open your mouth, nat cuts you off. “you’ll get sick”. “i was gonna say thank you” you whisper instead, watching as her hands linger, pulling the jacket tighter around you. it’s not much to keep the cold out, but it makes it bearable. “oh” nat whispers, her cheeks rosy. also: if you’re out on a hunt with her, she constantly checks to make sure your gloves and boots are secure, tugging them tighter if they’re just a little too loose. every few minutes, nat is glancing your way, scanning you for any sign of discomfort.

nat, who shares her rations with you.

during particularly harsh days, nat often sneaks you a larger portion of food. she brushes it off when you notice, saying she’s “not that hungry,” or “better at handling hunger than you”. “nat” you’ll occasionally try to reason when no one is around to hear. “you need this more than i do”

it’s true, rationally speaking: nat is the groups only chance of getting through the winter, her hunts the only source of food.

but nat brushes it off instantly. “shut up and eat” she instructs. her voice comes out a little harsh but you know she only has the sweetest intentions and that there’s no point in trying to fight her over this.

nat, who needs to be out of that cabin as much as possible.

no matter how cold it gets out there, or how exhausting the hunting can be, nat will rather spend time away in the cold that lose her mind in the constant company of the others. you’re the only one whose presence she genuinely appreciates. on rarer occasions, when there’s nothing else for you to do, she’ll suggest taking a walk out in the snow to clear both of your heads.

she jerks her head toward the woods, her voice gruff but softer than usual. “c’mon. let’s go for a walk”

you glance at her, puzzled. “a walk? in this weather?” she shrugs, already pulling her jacket tighter around her. “we’ll go crazy if we stay in all day. and you look like you could use some fresh air”

the trees are coated in frost when you step out of the cabin, their branches heavy with snow. nat walks a few steps ahead, scanning the woods like she always does, her hunter’s instincts never fully shutting off. for a while, neither of you speaks, she’s just leading the way through the trees. nat only pauses when you reach a small clearing, shoving her hands into her pockets and watching the snow fall around you.

but also: nat who, even in the cold, uses the walks as an opportunity to be alone with you.

“see?” she’ll say once you’ve reached said clearing. “that’s much better than the cabin, don’t you think?” she’s got a point there and you laugh softly, watching as she hesitates, her gaze dropping to the snow before flicking back up to you.

“what?” you ask, stepping closer

nat shakes her head, a rare smile curling up her lips. “nothing. just…missed being alone with you, i guess.” her hand reaches out on instinct, brushing snowflakes from your hair. things move fast from there: you’re suddenly pressed against the rough bark of a tree, nat’s freezing hands cupping your face before trailing down, her fingers curling against your waist and tugging you closer. the cold disappears entirely as her lips move against yours, urgent like she’s trying to make up for all the stolen moments the two of you couldn’t have. “missed this so much,” she murmurs against your lips, breathlessly.

you laugh, your hands threading into her hair as you tug her back into another kiss. nat’s cheeks are flushed, the tip of her nose a soft pink, but you don’t think it’s just the cold, not when her hands wander lower, tugging at the hem of your jacket, her fingers slipping just beneath the fabric to brush over your hip.

“nat,” you whisper, leaning your head back against the tree to expose more of your neck to her mouth. “what?” she grins, her hands not stopping once .“i missed this too” you mumble when you catch her eye, one hand reaching out to cup her cheek. her smile softens for a split second before her lips capture yours again, hungrier this time. that’s when you know you won’t head back anytime soon.

nat, who sits by the dying fire when neither of you can sleep at night.

you’ll often do that for each other, especially in winter. when one can’t sleep, the other will stay up to offer some warmth and comfort. the fire crackles softly still, casting flickering shadows on the cabin walls. you sit beside nat, knees nearly touching as the two of you huddle close to its warmth. she occasionally pokes at the flames with a stick, her expression distant. some nights, she’ll speak. others, you sit together until you drift off eventually.

“what date do you think it is?” she asks you one time.

you glance over at her, startled by the question. “i don’t know. it’s hard to keep track”

nat nods, lips pressing into a thin line, eyes fixed on the fire. “feels like it could be christmas,” you offer hesitantly.

she snorts softly, a breath of amusement. “christmas,” she echoes, shaking her head. “doesn’t feel much like it” finally, nat glances over at you. “maybe it is,” she says quietly, her voice carrying a hint of something you can’t quite name. “guess it doesn’t really matter out here, huh?”

nat, whose protectiveness can sometimes flare into anger.

out in the wilderness, you obviously try to be as helpful as possible. you might not be much of a hunter like nat, or capable of doing the gruesome stuff shauna does daily. still, you’re determined to try. this is when nat’s protectiveness can flare up, especially because she’s worried about you. if you push yourself too hard, whether from hunger, cold, or you chores, she’ll snap at you to take better care of yourself. when you try to get fire wood in the mists of a snowstorm, nat goes as far as to come out and get you:

your hands are numb despite the gloves you’re wearing, and the basket of firewood you’re carrying feels heavier with each step through the thick snowfall. that’s the state nat finds you in as she comes striding towards you. “are you trying to get yourself killed?” she snaps when she reaches you, cold hands feeling up your face. “why the hell didn’t you just stay in the cabin? it’s freezing out here!”

you bristle at her tone, even though you know it’s coming from a place of concern. “we need more firewood,” you reason. “i’m not just going to sit around and let everyone else do all the work” nat rubs a gloved hand across her forehead. “you think you’re helping? you’re barely standing. you’re gonna pass out out here, and then what? who’s supposed to carry your ass back?” her words sting, but before you can snap back, she grabs the basket from your hands. “give me that. go back to the cabin. now”

“i’m fine, nat, i-” you insist, but the look in her eyes stops you. there’s a rare flicker of vulnerability beneath the frustration, a hint of how scared she really is for you.

“just… please,” she mutters, her voice softer now. “go inside. get warm.”

nat, who still shares soft moments with you in spite of all the bitterness.

she feels that out of everyone who’s still alive, you’re by far the softest. the one most deserving, to her, of a good life, in a place suitable for your kindness and gentle nature she’s learned to love out there. so, regardless of everything (including herself), nat makes sure to share some soft moments with you. on those rare occasions when the fire crackles low and everyone else is already asleep, you’ll find her sitting next to you, a subtle tenderness in her actions.

you’ve grown used to the way nat holds herself, always on alert, always prepared to hunt or run, but in these quiet, shared moments, she lets that guard slip just enough to be with you. when the cold is biting harder than usual, she surprises you by sitting down beside you, resting her head on your shoulder for a moment. it’s not something she does often, and she’s clearly uncomfortable, but she wants this.

“i don’t know what i’d do without you here” the words come out quietly, vulnerable, even if she doesn’t fully recognize how important they are to you.

speaking of which: nat, who still struggles with open affection.

she isn’t the type to show her feelings with grand gestures or sweet words. she’s never been one for sentimentality, especially not after everything that happened. but when it comes to you, there are these moments where her affection comes through in the most subtle ways.

one particularly cold evening, after a long day of hunting and gathering firewood, you feel the chill settling deep into your bones. you didn’t realize how bad it was until you sit down near the fire, shivering. before you can even ask anyone, nat is there, kneeling beside you with a thick blanket in her hands. she doesn’t say anything, just drapes it over your shoulders. nat leans over, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, her hand lingering longer than usual. “you’re okay” she whispers so quietly no one but you will hear and sounding like shes reassuring herself rather than you. “you’re okay”

nat, who misses not the house she grew up in, but your shared hometown.

the days blur together in the cold, and no one really knows the dates anymore. the passing of time becomes irrelevant when every day feels the same: survival first, everything else second. but deep down, you both know that, one of these days, back home in wiskayok, your families are likely celebrating their first christmas without any of you. nat doesn’t talk much about it, but every now and then, you can tell she’s thinking about home too.

one time, while you’re laying curled up together, a soft snowflake drifting through the cracks in the cabin walls, you can’t help but mention how strange it feels: “one of these days, back home, they’re all celebrating,” you murmur. it’s not a question. it’s not even a wish, but a recognition that christmas is still happening, somewhere out there. nat grunts, from behind you. “who cares?” she mutters, her voice rough. but then, after a long pause, she adds, softer than usual: “i guess it’d be nice to be home for once”

chilly winter mornings with nat <3

obviously, waking up in the freezing cold is miserable, but nat’s there to make it bearable. she’s always up before you, moving quietly so as not to disturb anyone else, and by the time you blink awake, nat is already perched beside you with a cup of lukewarm ‘tea’ she’s managed to scrounge up, her expression soft despite the biting cold.

“c’mon, sleepyhead,” she murmurs, nudging your shoulder and holding the mug out to you. her voice is so low, you’re the only one who can hear the tenderness in it. “the fire’s going! let’s get you warmed up”

you grumble under your breath, reluctant to leave the relative warmth of your spot. nat sets the mug down beside you and leans in closer, pressing her cold nose against your cheek. you yelp at the chill, but it’s enough to pull you out of your sleepy haze, earning a quiet chuckle from her. “see? knew that’d wake you up,” she teases, pulling back and offering you her hand.