#yellowjackets x female reader

[rhiannonsknife]

— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (part 4)

— summary: the party at lottie’s & its aftermath.

— warnings: friends to lovers. lots of fluff. the highly anticipated nsfw content. mdni. (this takes place in their last year of school. all characters in this are 18+!!)

the ‘post game hangout’ at lottie’s is in full swing by the time you and nat arrive in her car.

you half expect it to be a repeat of cheer squad gatherings: loud music, sharp glances, and judgment lurking behind every corner. but as soon as you step into lottie’s house -a massive place, bigger than any party you’ve been to before- it becomes clear this is a completely different world from what you’re used to.

it’s also much more of a party than just a ‘hangout’, but neither of you minds.

“lottie really knows how to throw a party, huh?” you say, glancing around. nat grins, giving you a playful side-eye. “she’s got the biggest house, so she kinda has to,”

the sound of music and muffled laughter spills from inside as you approach, punctuated by the occasional cheer or shout from someone already a few drinks deep.

“we don’t do small, cheerleader!”

“i can see that,” your eyes sweep over the pristine lawn and the line of cars already parked in the long driveway. nat gestures towards the door. “ready?”

you nod, even though you can feel the nerves bubbling up inside you. it’s not the party itself that unsettles you, it’s the fact that you’re walking in with nat. for all the teasing from the yellowjackets earlier, the lines between what you feel and what you’re allowed to feel still seem blurry and fragile.

the inside of lottie’s house is just as impressive as the exterior already gave away: the foyer opens into a sprawling living room that’s packed with people lingering in groups, red plastic cups in hand, the atmosphere buzzing.

nat nudges you with her elbow while you’re still busy taking it all in. “come on,” she says. “let’s find the others!”

just like that, you let her lead you through the crowd. there’s no weight of curious stares and whispered commentary you expected and nobody minds as you two make your way through the living room. when you finally reach the kitchen, it’s no surprise to see van perched on the kitchen island, a bottle of something strong-looking in her hand, while taissa leans against the counter next to where van’s legs are dangling, caught up in a conversation with jackie.

“hey, look who decided to show up!” van calls out, waving at you both.

nat rolls her eyes. “you just saw us on the field an hour ago,”

“yeah, but this is different,” she teases, hopping down from the counter to greet you. “field nat is all serious and intense. party nat’s a lot more fun. and hey-“ she leans in conspiratorially toward you “she’s even more fun when you’re around!”

nat shakes her head, but you can see the faintest hint of color creeping up her neck. “i’m grabbing drinks!” she announces to the group, shooting you a quick glance before disappearing toward the living room.

you’re left standing awkwardly near the doorway until jackie waves you over to join them. “c’mon, don’t just stand there!”

you hesitate but ultimately follow her lead, perching on the edge of the counter while van leans in, her grin mischievous.

“sooo…” she begins, drawing out the word. “how long’s this been a thing?”

you blink, caught off guard. “what?”

“when did you and nat figure this thing out?” taissa chimes in.

“i don’t- there’s no- what thing?”

jackie gives a soft laugh. “come on, don’t play dumb! nat’s been acting like a completely different person lately. more focused, less grumpy. it’s cute, really!”

tai leans in, her voice low but teasing. “it’s pretty obvious. she’s been head over heels for you since, what? the arcade?”

your cheeks heat as you stammer, “we’re not- she hasn’t- there’s nothing going on!”

jackie exchanges a knowing look with the two. “if you say so,” she mumbles teasingly over the edge of her cup.

van, on the other hand, doesn’t let up. “c’mon, it’s fine! we’re just saying it’s nice to see her like this! she’s, i dunno… softer? it’s not a bad thing!”

you laugh awkwardly, unsure how to respond. before you get the chance to tell them that there really isn’t anything going on, nat returns, drinks in hand. the others exchange more looks as she strides over.

“there we go,” she says, handing you a cup, her fingers brushing yours briefly in the process. even as you take it from her, your mind is still reeling from what van, jackie and taissa just said. nat, head over heels for you?

“so,” she asks. “what did i miss? what are you guys talking about?”

“nothing,” van says innocently, her grin suggesting otherwise.

“right…” nat says, slowly lifting her cup to her lips.

the conversation shifts after that, the others diving into lighthearted banter about the game, but your mind lingers on what they said.

you glance down at nat once, catching her watching you out of the corner of her eye. she quickly looks away, taking a sip from her drink, but the small, almost shy smile that follows makes your pulse quicken.

all throughout the conversation, you’re hyper-aware of nat’s presence below you, standing close enough to where you’re perched upon the kitchen counter for you to smell the faint scent of her cologne and feel the warmth that radiates off her even though she’s not quite touching you.

the others are deep in their talk, laughing about some ridiculous inside joke that you don’t quite understand but can’t help smiling at. you feel lighter than you have in weeks, lighter than you ever did amongst the cheerleaders, like you’re finally where you belong.

still, your gaze keeps drifting back to nat, the reason why you’re here to begin with, why you get to belong like that.

it’s the shift of the music in the background, a louder, more fast paced song, snaps you out of your thoughts. a few people filter onto the makeshift dance floor that lottie has cleared in the living room, swaying awkwardly at first before finding a rhythm as a larger group gathers.

you glance back at nat as an idea begins to take shape.

“do you wanna dance?” you ask, your voice quieter than you intended but still enough to catch only her attention. nat freezes mid-sip, her eyes widening slightly as she looks at you like you’ve just suggested something completely outrageous. “dance?”

your nod, grinning despite the nerves. “yeah, you know…where you move around to music. it’s kind of a thing people do at parties?”

her lips twitch into a smirk and she sets her drink down on the counter. “i know what dancing is, smartass. i just don’t…do it!”

“why not? scared you’ll look stupid?”

she scoffs, crossing her arms. “i don’t look stupid. just don’t like it. it’s not my thing,”

“come on!” you plead, now drawing the attention of the others as well. “just one dance! for fun? for me!”

for a moment, nat looks like she’s about to argue again, her brow furrowing as if she’s searching for an excuse. but then her eyes meet yours, and whatever she sees there makes her hesitate.

“show us how it’s done scatorccio!” van interrupts her train of thought, already urging her forward.

“fine,” nat mutters, pushing herself away from the counter, then waiting for you to hop off after. “but, i swear to god, if i step on your toes, it’s on you!”

you laugh, grabbing her hand before she can change her mind. “deal,”

you don’t need to turn your head to feel the eyes of all three girls on you as you make your way across the room.

leading her to the dance floor, you notice the way her hand lingers in yours, her grip firm, like she’s still not sure what to do with herself. the two of you find a spot near the edge, the lights dim and the music low, and you turn to face her with a grin.

“see? not so bad, right?”

“you haven’t even started yet!”

you turn so your back is to her front, already swaying to the rhythm of the song. nat hesitates for a beat before resting her hands awkwardly on your waist. it’s stiff and a little awkward at first, but the warmth of her touch sends a pleasant shiver through your body.

“relax,” you tease, moving against her. “you’re not being graded on this!”

she huffs out a laugh, her shoulders loosening just a bit. “easy for you to say. you’re probably great at this! you’re a cheerleader!”

the two of you settle into an easy rhythm, and while nat is still clearly out of her comfort zone, she starts to relax, her movements becoming less stilted. you can still feel the eyes of her teammates watching from the kitchen, but for once, you don’t care who sees. it’s just you and nat.

at one point, she leans in just a little closer. her voice is low and her fingers hook around the belt loops of your jeans as she murmurs, “this isn’t terrible,”

you laugh, your heart skipping at the new proximity. “told you so!”

the music flows seamlessly from one track to the next yet nat doesn’t leave the dance floor after the first song like you half expected her to. instead, she stays, her presence warm behind you, her fingers gentle on your waist.

even as the upbeat tempo shifts to something a little slower, you’re quick to tug her hand, keeping her on the floor so she won’t flee from you.

“not letting me off that easy, are you?”

instead of replying, nat spins you gently, making you laugh as you end up face to face, more suited for a slow dance like this. instinctively, you drape your arms over her shoulders and lace your fingers behind her back.

nat’s body seems much more relaxed now, her grip on your waist softer, her movements less self-conscious. you’re still swaying together, but there’s something gentler about it now, something intimate, with the soft glow of the lights playing across her features.

at this point, you’re hyper-aware of her hands on you and how close she’s standing. so close her hair brushes your cheek when she tilts her head, so close you can feel the shudder in her breath, sending a shiver down your spine that you hope she doesn’t notice.

“you’re getting the hang of it,” you mumble.

“don’t push it. this is already way more than just one dance,”

“it’s called making up for lost time,” you counter. “you’re doing great!”

nat snorts, shaking her head. “dont lie! i’m terrible at this!”

without hesitation, you tighten your grip on the back of her neck, pulling her gaze back to yours. “nat,” you say softly, catching her attention. “nat, seriously, you’re really not,” you insist, meeting her eyes.

the room seems to shrink as the two of you sway to the slower rhythm. the din of conversation and laughter fades into the background, leaving just the soft hum of music and the warmth of her presence in front of you. you glance up at her through your lashes, heart racing at how close she is. her gaze flickers down to meet your eyes, then drops lower, to your mouth, and for a moment, the world feels like it tilts on its axis.

the song begins to fade, and before either of you can move, someone takes over the stereo. the slow melody is abruptly replaced by an upbeat, fast-paced track that jolts you back to reality.

nat groans dramatically, stepping back with a shake of her head. “that’s my cue to get off this death trap!”

you laugh, reluctantly letting her slip away. if it wasn’t already, the party is in full swing now, with people around you shouting and singing along to the lyrics.

you follow nat, intending to tease her about her endurance, but something else catches your eye as she brushes her hand over her face: the faint smudge of black along her lower lash line, where the eyeliner she always wears has started to smear.

“wait,” you stop her just before she reaches the comfort of the kitchen the other yellowjackets seem to have claimed. “your eyeliner’s all smudged!”

“what?” nat frowns, her hand flying up to touch her cheekbone, wiping at her eye in an attempt to fix it. “are you serious?”

“stop,” you chuckle, reaching out to still her hand. “you’re only gonna make it worse! come on!”

“i can do it myself,” she protests, though she doesn’t pull away.

you tug her down the hallway, weaving through the crowd toward where you assume the bathroom is. even though she grumbles something under her breath about not caring how she looks, she doesn’t let go of your hand.

you close the door behind you, and nat stands just inside, her posture uncertain. 

“sit,” you order, pointing to the closed toilet seat. “i’ll take care of it.”

she blinks before sitting down, knees pressed together, her hands resting awkwardly in her lap.

nat watches you, tracing every movement you make as you open your purse and pull out the small makeup bag. “do you really carry all that around with you?” she asks, her gaze meeting yours in the reflection of your mirror.

“hey! it’s for emergency touch-ups! comes in handy now, doesn’t it?” you laugh. “i could also leave you to look like a raccoon, if you want?”

nat huffs, shaking her head. “fine, fine. just get it over with.”

you turn around and step in, your knees brushing lightly against her legs. carefully, you move your fingers, steadying the eyeliner pencil.

“don’t make it weird,” she mutters.

you lift her chin gently to get a better angle, brushing her cheek with the pads of your fingers. “i’m not, i promise,”

nat doesn’t flinch when you trace her waterline, her eyes looking up as she stays still, her breath catching just a little as you work. there’s an undeniable pull now, an electric charge that shoots up your spine every time you glance at her.

you try to focus on the task, try to steady your hands, but it’s hard to concentrate when nat is so close. your heart beats louder than the soft scratch of the pencil on her skin.

“almost done,” you murmur.

when you finish, you lower the pencil and meet her touched-up eyes. they're wide as they turn to meet yours, her lips slightly parted. you don’t step back like you probably should. you don’t even remove your hands from her cheeks, where they still sit firmly.

there’s only the two of you and that undeniable pull. you’ve tried pushing it away, you’ve tried ignoring it. you’re tired of pretending like it’s not there.

you inhale deeply, your fingers tightening on her face and nat’s eyes fall to your lips. this time, it’s not a stolen glance either. it’s there, right in front of you, with neither of you bothering to hide it.

you’re about to close the space between you, when the door suddenly bursts open with a loud bang.

“guys!” van’s voice bursts through, full of energy and excitement. “you’re not gonna believe this, but-“ she stops mid-sentence when she sees you two, the scene frozen in place. for a beat, all three of you stand there, the room suddenly feeling much too small. van blinks a couple of times, clearly processing the intimate scene she’s interrupted, then grins from ear to ear.

“randy lost a bet and is jumping in the pool fully clothed!“ she announces. “but i guess you guys are…busy in there. i’ll leave you to it”

she’s already turning on her heel again, clearly not wanting to miss out on it. “remember to use protection kids!” she calls as she rushes down the hall. “don’t want any surprise bets on the way!”

you pull away just slightly, your heart still thudding loudly in your chest.

“uh, yeah,” nat says, clearing her throat, the moment slipping away from you. “we’ll be out in a minute!”

the second the door clicks shut, you and nat both exhale, as if you’d been holding your breath this entire time.

“i-“ nat starts but, for once, she doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“uh- i guess we should-“ you gesture over to where van had gone.

“yeah. yeah, definitely.”

you both stand in silence for another moment. for one last second, you think she might reach for you again. but she doesn’t. instead, nat takes a step back toward the door.

“wouldn’t want to miss out on that,” she says with a slight, uncertain grin, trying to shake off the awkwardness.

randy, true to his words, does make the fully-dressed dive into lottie’s pool, which earns him laughter and applause from the spectators surrounding the scene. the water splashes high as he emerges, dripping wet and grinning like a madman.

you don't catch half of it, too preoccupied with watching nat from across the yard, laughing with the rest of her teammates. you should have kissed that smiling mouth when you had the chance.

by the time the party begins to wind down hours later, only a few yellowjackets remain. the energy in the living room is mellowed but still full of warmth. van and taissa are the last women standing, still swaying to the beat of some toto song that's playing from the stereo. on the couch, shauna and jackie are curled up together, their heads close, their low murmurs barely audible over the fading music.

you stand near nat, a comfortable silence between you two as you observe the scene.

“guess it’s time to go,” nat says quietly, fiddling with the carabiner on her jeans as she searches for her keys. “lottie!” she calls, catching her attention from where she's chatting with laura lee -the only one of the group who’s still completely sober.

nat untangles the keys and holds them up. “i’ll leave the car here for the night, alright? just move it if it’s in the way!” she explains, setting them down on the table.

“you two heading out?”

“yeah, just walking home,” you tell lottie, nudging nat with your elbow.

“alright,” she hums, waving goodbye. “good night,”

“night!” you both call out to the group before turning to leave.

the cool night air is refreshing after hours in the suffocating warmth of lottie’s place and the streets seem quieter, the house fading in the distance as you walk side by side.

her hand brushes against yours every now and then, but neither of you makes a move just yet. the streetlights flicker above, casting soft golden light on the pavement ahead. you don’t speak right away, both of you settling into a comfortable silence as you walk.

the distance to your house is surprisingly short, but every step feels like it lasts a little longer than it should, like neither of you is ready for the night to end. it’s strange how just walking with nat feels like it could stretch into infinity, and you’d be content with that.

when you do reach the front porch, you stop, hand resting on the railing. nat lingers at the bottom of the stairs behind you, her own hands shoved in her pockets, not in any hurry to leave. you turn to face her, your pulse quickening in the stillness of the night.

finally, you find your voice: “thanks for tonight, nat,” you say. “i…i had a great time!”

for a beat you stand there, frozen in place, wondering if there’s more you’re supposed to say. your eyes meet hers again. you could say goodbye. you could walk inside, end the night, and pretend like there’s nothing more to it. but the moment feels too big, too full of things unsaid for you to walk away from it.

you turn fully to face her, your heart racing just a little. before you can second-guess yourself, you stumble down the stairs and grab the collar of her jacket. nat doesn’t have time to react, her eyes widening just as you pull her toward you, and in one swift motion, you press your lips to hers like you’ve been dying to all night.

everything pauses. the kiss is unexpected, quick, and electric. a mix of everything unspoken between you two. all the tension that’s built up over the weeks, all the doubts and fears, dissolve in that single, raw moment. nat’s body goes still, as if neither of you can quite process what’s happening.

then, almost as if waking up, she finally responds, her hands gently cupping your face. her lips move against yours with a softness that you hadn’t expected from nat: she’s slow at first, cautious as if she’s waiting for you to change your mind. but you pull her in closer, deepening the kiss without thinking.

the moment shatters only when you hear the faint sound of a car driving by down the street. you both jump apart then, but not far enough to break the connection. breath comes a little quicker now as you stand there on the porch, eyes locked, saying nothing.

the car drives by, leaving you invisible in the shadows of your house.

a beat.

you don't even register jumping back into motion, but suddenly, you're both stumbling back toward the door, lips locked again, hands moving instinctively, pulling each other closer. your heart beats faster with every step, every touch. you can't get enough of her.

you reach the lock, fingers fumbling with the key for a moment before it finally turns, letting you slip inside. the door closes quietly behind you, carefully pulled to avoid a sound. inside, it is quiet and dark, the house hiding you as you stand there, just breathing. nat’s forehead rests against yours, both of you too lost in the moment to speak, but the tension is still there, palpable.

nat breaks the silence first, her voice low, barely a whisper. "are we...doing this?"

you smile, your thumb brushing across her jaw as you pull her back into another kiss, slow and deliberate, like you're both savoring every second of it. you don't pull away at all this time. instead, you guide her to your room, the distance from the door to your bed feeling like miles.

you stumble against furniture and walls on the way there, giggling into each other’s mouths as you try to find your way.

when you finally make it to your room, you're both panting heavily, your hands still holding onto each other as if afraid one of you will slip away if you let go.

all the past weeks have come down to this.

nat leans down to kiss you again, even slower this time, her hands coming to rest on your waist, her fingers warm through the fabric of your clothes. you press yourself against her, and the kiss deepens, more urgent now, as though you both can't help yourselves anymore.

“we have-“ you murmur against her lips between kisses. “-to be quiet!”

nat smiles softly, nodding, her mouth brushing against your ear as she murmurs, "i think we can manage,”

you grin in relief. carefully, you make your way to the bed. the only sound is the soft rustle of clothes being discarded, and then the warmth of her hands against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

“i’ve never-“ you begin as you toss nat’s leather jacket over your chair. your teeth dig into your lower lip nervously, both because you’re admitting this to her and because you know what’s still to come.

“hey,” nat nudges your chin so you’re looking back up at her. her hands reach for your cheeks, the cold metal of her rings pressing against your skin. “it’s okay. you’re okay”

you nod on a shaky exhale and nat’s smile softens, mirroring your expression.

“we don’t have to-” she starts, but you're already cutting her off.

“no!” the word comes out too eager, too rushed, and you feel your face heat. “no. i want to!”

no matter how appreciative you are of her patience and assurance, you do feel ready. you had been the minute she’d first kissed you under the porch light (perhaps even long before that), when her chapped lips started moving against yours slowly.

nat nods once, her tongue darting out to wet her lips, and your eyes fall to her mouth, helplessly transfixed. “okay” she says quietly. “okay...”

she's on you in seconds, her lips capturing yours again, her weight pressing against you until your back hits the mattress.

your arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her impossibly closer, and she hums into your mouth, the sound vibrating against your lips. nat’s fingers skim your sides, slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, her nails dragging lightly over your skin. goosebumps rise in their wake, and you shiver involuntarily when her rings brush your bare side.

nat pulls back, her lips grazing yours as she grins. “cold?”

“a little,” you admit, breathlessly.

nat's teasing smirk only grows as she sits back on her knees, perched over your legs. her hand rests flat against your lower abdomen, just above where your shirt has ridden up, while the other ghosts over your ribs.

you reach for the one pressing against you, your thumbs circling her wrist to pull it in. you hold her hand up between you, examining the metal bands on each finger for a brief moment before leaning forward. one by one, you kiss the tips of her fingers, your lips hovering over the cool metal as you move lower.

above you, nat sucks in a sharp breath.

you glance up, and her wide, surprised eyes meet yours.

your finger brushes over her knuckles as you tug one ring free, then another. nat’s gaze follows every movement, and when you press another gentle kiss to her now-bare fingers, a tremor runs through her. you set the rings down on your bedside table and turn back up to look at nat.

the tension between you hums like a live wire, but it's not overwhelming. it's something else entirely, something that feels right.

nat swallows hard, her lips twitching upward. “better?” she asks.

“yeah,” you rasp. “way better.”

you sit up to meet her halfway this time, giving her room to peel your shirt off and toss it aside. it lands on the floor by the side of your bed softly, leaving you in a plain black bra. still, her eyes rake over your chest both hungrily and with an adoration that’s softer than anything you’ve ever seen playing out on nat’s features.

“you’re so-“ she says, her fingers twitching like she’s resisting the urge to reach out. once again, you take nat’s hand in yours and guide it to cup your breast. you both exhale simultaneously, adjusting to the new sensation. she must feel your hardened nipples through the fabric, judging by the way her gaze drops and she bites her lip.

experimentally, nat’s thumb flicks the pebbled nipple, instantly drawing a shuddered moan from you.

“nat, off,” you manage, head lulling back already.

thankfully, she complies: nat reaches around your back and smoothly unhooks the clasps. while holding the eye contact, she pulls the fabric off, exposing your bare chest to the chilly night air. she discards it carefully, letting it join the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

“you too!” you urge, fingers impatiently reaching for nat’s tank top. she smiles but helps you get it off and throws it aside, revealing the red bra she’s wearing underneath. the sight takes your breath away, and you’re stunned into silence. unlike nat, you can’t help yourself but blatantly stare.

“you’re so pretty,” you finally whisper, leaning in to kiss the swell of her breasts that spill from the bra.

nat’s now bare fingers tangle in your hair as she guides you, letting you have this. you mouth at the fabric eagerly, yet before you can pull it down, nat pushes you back into the sheets.

you don’t feel exposed like you thought you would in this position, even though you evidently are: with your hair sprawled out around your head on the pillows, your nipples hard and on full display, and your chest heaving rapidly. you can feel the wet patch in your underwear.

nat leans over you and begins kissing down the expanse of your upper body. her mouth trails down the valley between your breasts, leaving the faintest marks in the places where she sucks on your skin just a little harder.

“so pretty,” nat mumbles absentmindedly, her calloused fingertips roaming your sides. they fall to your pants next. with both eyes closed and your head thrown back into the plushy pillows, you nod.

“please,” you whisper into the space between you. a space that’s yours and nat’s only. “please!”

“i got you, cheerleader,” nat says teasingly. you blink an eye open to see her staring down at you. her hands spring into action, skilled fingers unbuttoning your jeans before unzipping them and peeling them off your legs. you kick them down the edge of the bed, leaving you completely bare except for the thin, soaked fabric of your underwear. nat must see the stain on the fabric from where she’s sitting between your knees.

her palms press flat against your legs, brushing up their length until they land on the flesh of your inner thighs and nudge them apart. if she hadn’t seen your arousal before, the pleased smile on her face when her eyes land on your crotch speaks volumes.

“holy shit,” she mutters, her voice husky and low.

you want her, you realize, more than you’ve ever wanted anything else before. you want her fingers, her mouth, whatever nat is willing to give you. you tremble with the force of allowing yourself to feel this kind of want, to let it take over you without any attempts or reasons to oppress it.

“nat,”

her eyes flick up and her fingers instinctively reach for the waistline of your panties, a silent question hanging between you.

“yes!” you nod. “yes please!”

instead of taking them off right away like you had expected, nat begins kissing up your inner thighs, occasionally letting her tongue dart out to lick over your skin.

“can i…?” she husks when her nose practically nudges the crotch of your underwear.

too impatient to deprive yourself of it any longer, you hook your fingers into the hemline yourself and push them down past your knees.

nat smiles up at you softly before she lets her eyes drop to your naked form. you can feel all the places where your wetness is sticking to your thighs, the air making you hyper-aware of all the wet spots.

“god,” she groans, her fingers running through her bleach blonde hair. “look at you…” she brings her other hand up to gently spread you open and take in the sight of your body bare before her.

you spread your legs a little wider for her, gasping when nat’s thumb brushes your clit for the first time. your soft moan makes her crawl up your body, her lips meeting yours in a searing kiss to hush you, her fingers gliding through your arousal.

“nat,” you moan against her mouth. “nat, inside.”

thankfully, nat understands. your body tenses when she slides them into you with a soft moan of her own, then immediately relaxes when she smiles against your lips. you feel yourself fluttering around her as you take nat in greedily.

“good?” she breathes, motionless until you nod erratically. that’s when she begins to move.

immediately, she’s drawing obscenely wet noises from between your thighs that echo from the walls around you. you gasp at one particular good thrust against your walls, her fingers curling against a spot that causes your eyes to roll back in your head.

you moan as your head falls back against the pillows and your mouth hangs open against nat’s. you cling to her body breathlessly, reaching around her back as her fingers work themselves deeper into you.

“mhm, i know,” nat gently whispers, “i know, that’s it, i got you,”

all her praise goes straight to your cunt, sending another wave of pleasure surging through your body. your hand finds hers through the haze and you lace your fingers together. you need to feel her, need to know that she’s still there.

“you take my fingers so well,” she praises, each word accompanied by another thrust. you nod once again, her voice sending you spiraling and gushing more arousal all over her fingers.

“i’m gonna put my mouth on you now, is that okay?” she asks.

“yeah!” you instantly assure, eyes turning to the ceiling above, mentally bracing yourself for the sensation of her lips and tongue on your pussy. “yeah, please!”

she doesn’t kiss your body as thoroughly this time for the sake of reaching her destination faster: only brushes her lips over your stomach briefly before getting comfortable between your spread legs.

your hands curl up in her hair tightly in anticipation and nat hums in response before her mouth closes around your clit and sucks. nothing could’ve ever prepared you for the actual feeling of nat scatorccio's mouth.

you can see her eyes through her sweaty bangs, catch the way they roll back in head at the first taste of you.

“oh, nat!” you moan, louder than you should, but neither of you cares. you arch your back off the soft sheets, grinding yourself against nat’s broad tongue until you feel your stomach coiling and tightening in pleasure. there’s an unrelenting tension building up there, one that’s just waiting to snap. she lets you chase your orgasm, allows you to move however you please.

“are you close?” nat murmurs against you, her fingers sliding back into your cunt so suddenly you shudder. it seems harder for her to thrust into you now, with your walls tightening around the digits.

“i think so” you manage breathlessly.

nat, spurred out by this, doubles her efforts and dives right back in, flicking your clit with her tongue and curling her fingers against your g-spot. it’s so much. it’s not nearly enough. it’s perfect.

nat sends you over the edge in mere seconds.

“that’s it,” you hear her praising.

with a cry of nat's name, you cum against the feeling of her mouth and fingers. you can still sense her voice talking you through it, but it feels distant with the pleasure rushing through your veins.

her hand squeezes yours through the orgasm, grounding you as you tremble with pleasure. not once does she take her eyes off you as you ride out the waves of your height.

only when your body stops shaking, nat pulls out, clearly not wanting to push you to a point of overstimulation. someday, you think to yourself, you might ask her to. but not tonight. tonight you want to enjoy the new experience with her and the tenderness of nat’s touch.

the next time you open your heavy lidded eyes, nat is lingering above you. she’s watching you recover through wide, curious eyes.

“hi,” she whispers when she notices.

“hi,” you chuckle, still breathless.

“was that…” nat trails off, biting her lips. “okay?”

instead of a verbal response, you cup her cheeks and crane your neck to gently kiss her lips. you can taste yourself on them and have to fight back the urge to lick your arousal from nat’s mouth.

“more than okay,” you whisper then.

you’re spinning her around before you know it, kissing nat with newfound determination as you press her into the mattress.

there’s a long night ahead of you.

the room is dim now, the only light coming from the soft glow of the streetlight outside. nat is perched on the windowsill, the cool night air blowing in through the open window. she exhales smoke, the grey tendrils curling lazily in the air before disappearing into the darkness, and you watch her.

“can i ask you something?” nat’s voice is soft, her eyes lingering on the street outside.

you nod, drawing your legs closer to your chest you as you sit beside her. “of course,”

she turns to you, a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. “what does this…what does it all mean for us? i mean, after everything with your ex, i want to be sure, you know? i don’t want you to feel like you have to rush into anything or that i’m, like, pressuring you,”

you can tell nat is trying to be careful for your sake, but it’s obvious her mind is already on what’s next. you want to reassure her, to let her know this is what you want, something that feels right in a way nothing ever did with your ex.

“nat,” you begin “it’s okay. i do want this. i want you. i’m not going anywhere!”

she blinks at you, her gaze softening as the words settle between you two. she takes a slow drag from her cigarette, letting the smoke drift out of her mouth with a sigh. then, she sets it aside on the sill, her fingers tracing a light path along the window frame.

“i just want to make sure I’m doing this right,” she murmurs. “i mean, i kinda jumped into it with you. and, look, i’ve never really been one for...all of this, you know? i want to take my time with you. show you that i want this!”

your eyes widen just slightly, a smile tugging at your lips. “you want to take your time with me?”

nat looks away for a second, clearly flustered. “i know, i know. it sounds fucking ridiculous, but…yeah. i do. i’ve never really done this right with anyone before, and i want us to take this slow!” she glances back at you. “not because i don’t want you! god, i do! it's cause i really do want to…swoon you properly”

you laugh, a light sound, your heart swelling with affection. “you’re really something, you know that?”

“a hopeless romantic,” she jokes, but you can tell there’s none of her usual sarcasm behind it.

you pull nat a little closer, your fingers brushing against her hand. “i’d love that,” you whisper, meeting her eyes. “i’d love for you to…” you grin, making a vague gesture. “swoon me”

before she can say anything else, you kiss her. it’s slow, sweet, the kind of kiss that feels like it could go on forever if you wanted it to. eventually, you do have to pull away to catch your breath.

“i’m not going anywhere either,” you assure. “take all the time you need, nat. i’m right here!”

she grins, a little sheepish but undeniably happy, and leans in to kiss you again, this time with more certainty, more trust.

“deal,” she murmurs. “but, for the record, i do want to be your girlfriend. if that’s…something you want, too?”

just when you thought this evening couldn’t get any better...

“yeah” you confirm, smiling so widely your cheeks ache from it. “that is something i want,”

weeks later…

the air is warm, bordering on too hot, a hint of summer heat creeping into the car despite the ac as the engine hums quietly. the smell of fresh grass and the distant sound of chatter from the graduation ceremony echo outside, but inside, it’s just the two of you.

you and nat are in the backseat, both of you in your graduation gowns, caps discarded carelessly on the passenger seat. the gowns, those stiff, awkward, and uncomfortable outfits, are crumpled around your bodies as you make out.

your girlfriend’s lips are warm against your own, her hand tangled in your hair as she urges you against herself. her laughter vibrates against your mouth, and you break the kiss just enough to look at her, eyes practically sparkling with mischief.

“we’re going to be late,” nat murmurs between soft kisses down your neck, her voice teasing. “they’ll be looking for us, and then we’ll be arrested for public indecency!”

you laugh, a soft, breathless noise that blends with the hum of the engine, and shake your head. “who cares?” you press your lips against hers again. “i’d rather be here with you!”

nat grins, a little breathless herself now. “yeah, me too.” she leans in again, but pulls back just as quickly, glancing at the clock on the dashboard. “we’re literally getting our diplomas in, like, 10 minutes. and we’re in the back of my car, making out. that doesn’t exactly scream ‘responsible graduates,’ does it?”

you both burst into laughter, the sound of it filling the space of her car. “let’s just skip the ceremony and do this all day,” you tease, your fingers brushing over her gown, feeling the fabric slide beneath your touch.

nat laughs again, pulling away to look at you with that same fond, playful expression she always has when she’s teasing you. “we could,” she says, “but i think the others might kill us!”

you chuckle, then glance out the window briefly. the ceremony is happening just outside the school, with enough room for all your classmates to gather for one final moment together.

you know this is it: this is a chapter closing. but for now, it doesn’t matter. all that matters is this moment. with nat and the heat of summer beginning to settle in around you.

her fingers brush your cheek, pulling your focus back to her. “we should really get out there,” she says, though there’s no real urgency in her tone. it’s clear that she wants to stay here with you just as much as you do too.

“i know,” you reply softly. then, after a pause, you add: “in a second!”

“in a second,” nat parrots, her voice full of affection. “just a few more minutes…then we can go face the world together, as graduates, yeah?”

you nod, your heart racing as her tongue briefly slips past your lips, deepening the kiss. her hand cups your cheek and her thumb brushes your skin, the free one creeping up beneath your gown, pushing your bra up and…

suddenly, there’s a loud knock on the window.

you both freeze, breaking apart so fast that nat accidentally bumps her head against the roof of the car. “shit!” she mutters, rubbing the back of her head as you whip your gaze toward the window.

outside, van is standing with a huge grin, tapping the glass with her knuckles. the rest of the team is waiting right behind her, all of them smirking knowingly.

“hey, lovebirds!” she calls, loud enough to make sure you both hear through the glass. she leans down so her face is level with the window, cupping her hands to block out the glare of the sun. “you two realize we can see you, right?” she says. “pretty sure the rest of the parking lot can too!”

nat groans, dragging a hand over her face while you stifle a laugh. she opens the door and climbs out, glaring half-heartedly at van. “ever heard of knocking quietly?” she grumbles.

“oh, i did,” van replies, her grin widening. “you just didn’t notice. wonder why…”

nat flips her off, more playful than anything. “you’re so annoying!”

“yeah, yeah.” van waves her off, completely unbothered. “let’s go, casanova!”

you climb out after nat, smoothing your gown and trying not to blush too hard under the knowing smirks of the yellowjackets gathered around.

jackie and shauna have their arms looped casually around each other as they exchange a look. “about time,” jackie says. “thought we’d have to drag you two out ourselves!”

nat snorts. “i don’t think either of you could’ve managed that!”

“don’t tempt us,” shauna fires back with a grin. “we’ve wrestled worse!”

“anyway,” taissa cuts in, grinning as she straightens the yellow sash draped over her blue gown. “can we get moving before we miss the ceremony?”

nat mutters something under her breath as she adjusts her own gown. you glance down, realizing the fabric is slightly askew where it had bunched up in the car.

“here, let me-” you step in closer, smoothing out the material over her shoulder and down her arm. your hands linger a second longer than necessary, and when you look up, nat’s gaze is soft.

van groans loudly, dragging out the sound and snapping you out of it. “oh my god, you two. we get it! you’re gross and in love! can we please go now?”

nat ignores her this time, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together under the loose fabric of the gown sleeves as she tugs you toward the others.

by the time you reach the staging area, you've all settled into an easy hum of excitement. parents and relatives of your classmates chatter nearby, camera flashes going off as the graduates start lining up.

nat pulls you aside, letting the others shuffle ahead for a moment.

“everything okay?” you ask, your voice low.

she hesitates, glancing at the bustling staging area where the rest of the yellowjackets have gathered. then her eyes return to yours. “yeah, it’s just…this is it, huh?”

you tilt your head, smiling softly. “graduation?”

“no, i mean…this. us. life after this,” she says, her voice dipping quieter. “it’s all gonna change!”

your chest tightens at her words. things with you have been going well these past weeks. great even. life after graduation had been something you always purposefully avoided. you didn’t want to ruin your last weeks of this by worrying about what would come after.

now, before you can let the thought spiral, nat squeezes your hand. “not in a bad way,” she says. “i just…i want you to know, whatever happens now, wherever we end up, you’re it for me. you know that, right?”

it’s such a simple thing, the way she says it, but it hits you like the sweetest punch to the gut. you smile at her, your chest full of a warmth you can’t quite describe. “you’re it for me too, nat,”

before you can process what’s happening, the words tumble out of nat. “god, i love you!”

it’s barely above a whisper, but it’s there: raw and real and so perfectly nat. your heart skips a beat, your eyes widening as the weight of her confession sinks in.

she freezes, clearly realizing what she’s just said. “i- i mean-” she stammers, her cheeks flushing as she starts to backtrack. “you totally don’t have to say it back or anything! i just-“

“i love you too!” your voice cuts off her rambling. relief washes over her face, and she lets out a breathy laugh. “you do?” nat asks, like she’s scared she misheard.

you nod, stepping closer until the space between you is nearly nonexistent. “yeah, nat, i do”

she grins, her hands coming up to hold your face as she leans in. you kiss her back just as eagerly, forgetting for a moment that you’re supposed to be at graduation, that there’s a whole crowd of people right around the corner.

only the sound of a camera click jolts you both back to reality. you pull apart, turning to see jackie standing a few feet away with a polaroid camera in hand and a smug grin on her face.

“oh, come on!” nat groans, her hands falling from your face as jackie waves the photo in the air.

“this is going on the fridge,” she teases, holding it just out of reach.

“give it back!” you protest, laughter bubbling out of you as nat starts toward her. “come and get it!” jackie taunts, taking off toward the rest of the group.

you glance at nat, who’s already chasing after her. without thinking, you follow.

van watches the scene unfold, shaking her head with a grin. “they’re never gonna make it on time,” she says.

“totally worth it,” taissa replies, smirking as you and nat disappear into the crowd after jackie.

somewhere across the field, the cheer squad is frantically fixing their hair and makeup, their voices filled with nervous chatter. you don’t even notice. for the first time in what feels like forever, they’re the furthest thing from your mind.

the only thing you can think about is nat: her laughter, her smile, and the way her hand feels in yours as you chase after jackie.

and as you run, breathless and alive, you realize that all of this was supposed to happen. that you are exactly where you're meant to be.

— a/n: thank you all so much for reading! this was my first actual fic “series” with multiple chapters, so i hope i did a decent job covering everything 🐉 anon requested!! i appreciate your support & feedback so so much! thank you, thank you, thank you!! <3 (also the last sentence might be a chapter 1 reference…)

[bumblesimagines]

Headcanon:

Dating Natalie Scatorccio

Request: Yes or No

Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs, GN!Reader

~~~

Natalie Scatorccio is a complicated girl. She puts up this tough, hardened, sarcastic exterior for others, especially those who look down on her for living in a trailer park, her sense of style, or her drinking and occasional drug usage. Natalie's used to the insults, the jabs, being constantly undermined or ignored. Despite what she's been through and how others perceive her, Natalie has a kind heart and a strong set of ethics that come out when someone needs protecting. As such, Natalie needs someone who looks past her hard exterior (and the rumors surrounding her) and embraces everything she is.

Natalie isn't much of a relationship kind of girl. Sure, she'd like one, just as anyone else would, but she knows most people at school apart from a select few only see her as trailer trash. She lets her eyes wander often and sometimes lets her mind do too, but there's always some insecurity or negative thought ready to bring her down. 

Until she meets you and she gets that fluttery, mouth-drying, heart-racing feeling in her stomach for the first time in a while.

Natalie has a love-hate relationship with crushes. They can be distracting, and depending on the person, heart-achingly annoying. But with you it's different. Her worries vanish when she meets your gaze and she smiles despite herself, even if it means enduring teasing from the other Yellowjackets. 

Natalie pretends to be confident when you first begin dating. She tries being the cool, chill, no-problem girlfriend most would expect her to be. Except she's not. She worries a lot, whether about you, how you feel about her, or how the relationship is, Natalie worries to hell and back. She half-expects you to change your mind about everything, to take back everything you've said and believe the rumors about her sleeping around or being this or that. 

Her anxieties ease with time and reassurance, although she despises feeling like a burden when she admits her worries to you. Some parts even feel guilty and not good enough when you kiss her and tell her everything's alright. Her father's nasty words echo in the back of her mind but just one warm, gentle touch from you silences him and she relaxes, turning putty in your hands. 

Natalie's an attentive girlfriend. She's an observer of sorts and she keeps all your interests in mind, locking away in her brain to remember for later. After practice, she enjoys going to your favorite place to eat and chat about school, the Yellowjackets, and anything else that comes to mind.

Natalie opens up gradually, letting you see a softer more vulnerable side that not many get the opportunity to see. She dances around the subject of bringing you home with her since the last time she brought someone over, it ended in her father's accidental death. But she embraces the fear and the memories hand-in-hand with you and takes you home, even if it's just briefly. Natalie finds it difficult to speak of her father, of her childhood, but she trusts you enough to do so and appreciates your soothing words and loving gestures.

Natalie is big on physical touch and quality time. She loves touching you, although most of the time she prefers it in private and out of sight. However, even in public, she'll try to find a way, whether it's through hand holding, being close enough to brush shoulders, fixing an article of clothing for you, resting her head on your shoulder. Sometimes you'll even be granted a kiss on the cheek. Behind closed doors, Natalie's all over you. As much as she enjoys talking, she likes making out a whole lot more and you'll often find her on your lap or curled up at your side.

Natalie likes cupping your face when she kisses you, one could say it's a habit of hers. You already know what she wants when she places her hands on your cheeks and gives you one of those cheeky smiles. 

Being with Natalie means going to the WHS Yellowjacket games. It means a lot to her when she finds you seated in the stands cheering them on, cheering her on. She always gives it her all during games, lest she wants a lecture from Taissa or Coach Martinez, but she tries even harder when she knows you're there watching her. Each time the game ends with them as victors, she'll rush over to you and envelope you in a hug, thanking you for being there and giving promises of spending time alone together. 

The Yellowjackets are a family as well as a team. No matter how many times they fight or argue or have their disagreements or literally break each other's legs, they're family and love each other. Despite that, Natalie takes her time introducing you to the team. Most of them already know from simply watching or overhearing gossip, and while Mari or Jackie may ask once or twice, they try to respect the distance. When Natalie finally officially introduces you as her partner, many girls jump at the chance to ask you questions, ranging from sweet ones to rude or offensive ones that have Natalie scowling and dragging you in the opposite direction. Regardless, the girls begin inviting you to things or greeting you in the halls and generally treating you as one of their own. You put Natalie in a better mood and the girls appreciate it. 

Despite the rumors of Natalie sleeping around, she's only ever slept with two guys, something she admits to you with worry that you soothe away without even meaning to. Once past the rumor mill, Natalie often initiates sex, sometimes in the most random of private places. Sometimes in a car, on school grounds, at your place, or the bathroom of some random party. She's a hormonal teenage girl who's head over heels. Who could blame her? Though, expect her to be putty in your hands if you make the first move. She'll get all giggly and blush red like a tomato.

All in all, Natalie makes for a good girlfriend, despite her troubles and tragic childhood. She tries her best and she'll always consider you one of her first priorities in life, even if it means putting you before herself. You're the first one she runs to with news, the first person she thinks of when she wakes up in the morning, the first person she seeks out in school. She'll protect you with her life if needed and will defend you against anyone.

But everything changes when Flight 2525 crashes in the wilderness.

[simpjackie]

Modern Yellowjackets SMAU?

Hi, Hello! I was wondering if someone would be interested in modern Smau in the Yellowjackets universe. Maybe Jackie, Shauna, or Lottie x reader. Or just some headcanons, feel free to ask anything.

[mvlders222]

𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝

pairing ; lottie matthews x fem!reader

wordcount ; 2.3k

summary ; you've always found yourself butting head with lottie. you both can't seem to find out why. what happens when she takes it just a little too far? (enemies to lovers)

warnings ; injury, cursing, shouting match, use of y/n (let me know if i missed anything!)

The feeling of the cold, crisp air rushing past your skin was evident as you ran across the field. The ball between your cleats was wet with the morning dew as it glided along the freshly cut grass. The morning was foggy, the sun hidden behind soft clouds.

Your concentration was interrupted by a presence on your close right. Lottie was catching up to you, and fast. You tried to outrun her, desperately, but you struggled to keep the ball intact.

Her body crashed into your side, making you trip over your own feet and collide with the ground. You had the wind knocked out of your lungs and your head was beating with your heart, sounding through your ears. You winced, feeling the adrenaline run dry and your back start to ache. You realize you’ve lost.

It’s just a scrimmage, you have to remind yourself. Before anyone could score, however, the sound of a whistle being blown cut the game short. That didn’t cover the sound of Lottie’s groans. “Are you serious?”

You sat up from the ground to face her, gently to not hurt yourself further. “What the fuck, Lottie?” The scowl on your face matched hers.

“Hey, come on!” Coach Ben hollered at the both of you, heads turning to where he stood at the edge of the field. “Just help her up, yeah?”

You both turned back toward each other. Lottie looked down at you with an irked expression, as if you had done something wrong. She held her hand out to you begrudgingly, hoping that you wouldn’t accept it.

You looked up at her through your lashes, squinting ever so slightly. The sight of her above you made you feel small. You slapped your hand into hers and pulled yourself up. You still face her, not breaking eye contact.

Lottie doesn’t let go right away. Instead, she tugs you closer and tilts her head to your ear. “You need to keep up,” she whispered. She wasn’t going to let this go. “I’d hate to see you on the bench.” You could hear the self-satisfied grin in her voice.

“I’d just hate to see you in general.” You taunted her back. You pull your hand from her grasp and give her one last scowl before walking back to your side of the field.

Lottie’s smile falters for a second before she scowls and rolls her eyes. The whistle blows one last time, signaling the end of practice. All the girls ran back to the locker room, some stopping you to make sure you were okay.

You sat alone on the bench, it still hurt to move. You were the last one in there, along with Shauna. She shut her locker, and the sound of that and her sneakers along the tile floor cut the silence. She turned toward you, a sympathetic look on her face. “Do you need a ride?”

You shook your head and sighed. “I think I just need some time, yeah?” Which was true. You hated struggling in front of your peers, you didn’t want your friends to worry about you. In your mind, being seen as vulnerable was a sign of weakness. That was something you couldn’t see yourself coming back from.

She nodded and walked toward the exit, looking back once more. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” You gave her a reassuring smile and watched her back as she left.

Now, all alone, you sighed to yourself before getting up and shedding your uniform. You put your hair up as you walked into the showers. You turned the nozzle, cold water came spitting out sporadically and you tried to shield yourself. You held your hand out, trying to sense the warmth.

As the steam rose in the air, you relaxed into the water, feeling your muscles unwind. Closing your eyes, you let the bar of soap glide across your body.

“You’re still here?” You whipped your head toward the source of the voice and saw Lottie, standing just outside of the showers. She looked you up and down with a stupid smile on her face.

“Jesus Christ, Lottie!” you shouted at her and tried to cover yourself. “Go away!”

“Sorry! I can’t help it,” she laughed at your state, turning away and walking further into the locker room. “Let me get you a towel, at least.”

“You shut off the shower water and walked to the edge between the showers and the locker room floor. She walked back, towel in hand. You held out your arms, peeking out from behind the wall between you two.

“Hold on now.” She looked at your outstretched arm before looking down at the towel again. “What am I doing?”

“Come on, Lottie.” you pleaded, although she had been talking to herself now. “I’d be an idiot to give you this.”

“You’re an idiot anyway.” You were starting to get pissed at her. How could she be so laid back right now? “Give me the towel, Lottie.”

“That’s not very nice, angel,” she teased and brought the towel to her chest, further from your reach. you tried calming down, sighing before looking at her with a tight expression. “Please, Lottie? I need it.”

“Only ‘cause you said please.” She brought the towel to your hand and you snatched it from her grasp. You wrapped it around yourself and walked back to your locker where a clean pair of clothes sat.

Lottie followed behind you, her gaze on your back. She suddenly remembered what happened during practice. “Hey, I’m sorry… about earlier.” She sounded sincere, but you couldn’t believe it.

“You don’t have to apologize, Lottie.” You shook your head, exhausted from her antics and the whole day in general. You stood in front of your open locker with a pair of clean clothes. “Um, turn around, please?” You couldn’t face her, too embarrassed in your current state.

She understood immediately and did so. You unwrapped the towel from your frame and let it drop to the floor. Grabbing a clean pair of underwear, you bent down to slip them over your legs. This cycle continued until you got to your sports bra, bringing your arms over your head to put it on. A sharp pain cut through your movements, causing you to let out a resounding groan in response.

Lottie heard this and became concerned. “Do you need help?” She turned her head to the side as she tried to make her voice clearer, despite it being the only noise in the room. You sighed and gave in. “Yeah…”

Without hesitating, Lottie turned back around and walked to your side, her gaze softening at the sight of you. You looked dejected, and she understood that. She grabbed the cloth from your hands and stood behind you.

“Arms out,” she commanded. Although it wasn’t the most comfortable position for you, it was better than the cohesive movements of dressing yourself. You let her arms caress yours, the heat contrasting against the cold atmosphere. She brought the article of clothing up your arms and shoulders. You ducked your head and she stretched the material over your neck.

She leaned over your shoulder to grab the shirt from your locker, her body pressed into your back, causing you to shudder. She backed away slightly. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

She pulled the shirt out and inspected the image printed on the front. “Bangles? Really?” She smiled at the worn-in design, the breath from her laugh hitting your neck. You flush, embarrassed by the old rag in her hands.

“The Bangles are good.” You tried to defend yourself. It was hard when her tall frame was surrounding yours. She turned her head toward yours and smirked. “The Go-Gos are better.”

“We really can’t agree on anything, can we?” she asked, her gaze catching yours, making you feel weak in the knees. She looked back at the t-shirt and her brows furrowed. “This one might be a little difficult…” She continued to look at the shirt, trying to think of a solution to cause the least pain.

Lottie shoved the shirt back into the locker in front of you. You turned to her out of confusion about her actions, only to see her unzipping her jacket and taking it off. She held it out to you. “Take it.”

You looked down at her jacket and shook your head. “No, Lottie, I can’t…”

She cut you off. “Please, Y/n?” She wasn’t going to let you be so stubborn. “Take this as my apology… I feel bad.” She had mumbled the last part, but it still came through. You looked back down at the jacket in her hands. It was a maroon color, and it also looked warm. What reason did you have to not take her offer?

“Fine.” You took her jacket, unfolded it, and slipped it over your shoulders. You zipped it closed and looked down at yourself. It hugged your frame perfectly, almost like it was made for you. “Thanks, Lottie.”

“It’s no problem.” You two stood in front of each other for a minute more, every so often making eye contact and looking away once caught. She cleared her throat to disrupt the silence. “Do you, uh, need a ride?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and looked back up at her and offered her a soft smile. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Lottie smiled back at you, happy to help you out. She shut your locker for you and grabbed your bag off the bench. You just stood there in disbelief and watched her begin to walk out. Not hearing your footsteps behind her, she looks back at you with a blank expression. “You comin’?”

“Yeah, sorry.” You snap out of your position and begin to walk after her. You trailed her out of the locker rooms. “I can carry my stuff, y’know.”

“Not with a bum shoulder. Plus, I did that to you. The least I can do is help you out.” You both walked across the field and onto the hot asphalt of the parking lot. You nodded along with her words, not that she could see it.

Lottie’s car was one of the only ones left in the lot, and it was nice. She walked around to the passenger side, standing next to you. She grasped the handle to the door and opened it, holding it for you. You looked up at her a mumbled a ‘thank you.’ You slipped inside, hitting the warm leather of the seat.

She shut the door and you watched out the windshield as she walked around to the driver’s seat. She opened the door and got in, tossing your bag in the back seat. You faced forward, avoiding any eye contact with her.

Lottie didn’t start the car just yet. She fastened her seatbelt and looked at your expression, which to her was unreadable. “What’s wrong?”

You finally turn your head to look at her, biting your lip as you contemplate whether you should tell her or not. “Are you just gonna go back to hating me after this?”

She flinched at your words, seemingly taken aback. She shook her head in confusion. “Where did this come from?”

“Come on, it’s not exactly a secret.” You rolled your eyes, starting to get worked up. You turned in your seat to face her fully now. “You’re just doing all of this to make yourself feel better.”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth.” She was starting to raise her voice in defense of your yelling. She felt offended by your accusations. “I can’t do something nice for a friend?”

“Oh, please, we’re hardly friends–”

She grabbed your face and pulled you in. In her mind, the only way of shutting you up was physically. And in the process, indirectly admitting her feelings in the process. Her lips were pressed against yours leaving no room for air.

She pulled away from you hastily, an unnerving feeling starting to set in. You both stared at each other with wide eyes, breathing rapidly. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t stop thinking about her carelessness. If you hadn’t hated her before, you probably did now.

You leaned over to her in the driver’s seat, pushing her thoughts aside by moving your lips against hers once again. You were now sitting up on your knees, desperately reaching to taste every flavor she had to offer. You brought your hands up to hold her face as you kissed her.

She brought her hand up behind your neck, pulling you impossibly closer. You moaned into the kiss, pulling away for some air. Lottie had not, however, she continued to trail her open-mouth kisses toward your jawline.

“Lottie,” you breathed out, trying to get her attention. She moved her kisses from your jaw and down to your neck, seemingly tuning out your words. “Lottie!” You pushed her head away from your neck and looked at her. Her eyes were half-lidded and she had a dazed look on her face.

She looked up at you and pouted. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it was perfect.” You moved your hand up to her hair, scratching her scalp. She moaned in response to the feeling. “You’re perfect.” You smiled and pulled away completely, sitting back down in your seat.

“You want me to take you home now? After all that?” She wasn’t upset, actually she was quite the opposite. But she was also confused by your actions.

“No, I’m waiting for you to start the car and take me out.” You were now finding it difficult to hide your smile, butterflies going crazy throughout your stomach.

Lottie was now the one who couldn’t contain herself. “That’s my girl.” She let out a small smile before leaning toward you again, pressing another kiss to your cheek. She turned forward and turned the keys to start the engine.

[fleuriosa]

rockstar!natalie scatorccio headcanons

natalie scatorccio x gn!reader

content: modern au, nothing but fluff, no use of y/n

an: hiii this is my first time writing i hope i did a good job!! ik it’s v short but i’ll be posting more soon trust💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 this isn’t proofread

rockstar!nat who performs in random locations like parks, clubs, basements etc. with her band

rockstar!nat who invites you to all her shows and gives you tickets for spots that are right upfront so she knows exactly where you are, stealing glances every now and then

rockstar!nat who’s the bassist and lead singer of her band

rockstar!nat who was performing in a park near your university, and of course, she gave you and the girls tickets that were for the front row

rockstar!nat who’s written quite a few songs about you and your relationship with her, she and her band actually performed two or three of them on stage

rockstar!nat who looked so hot in the leather jacket, tank top, plaid skirt, red tights, and black doc martens you helped her pick for tonight, the smoky eye she did tying the whole look together

rockstar!nat who got distracted when you smiled at her from the crowd, making her get all flustered and miss a few of her parts. she may act tough, but inside, she’s just a big softie :3

rockstar!nat who amazed everyone in the audience with her bass playing skills and vocals, they all were jumping and singing along for the entire duration of the concert

rockstar!nat who ran into your arms as soon as she stepped foot off stage, giving you a quick peck on the lips, hers forming into a toothy grin soon after

“was i good?? i sang some of the songs i wrote for you!!”, she asked you that as if she weren’t aware of the fact that you were staring at her in awe the whole time while she was performing. she loves when you praise her, which is why she constantly fishes for compliments, even though she doesn’t need to because she knows that she’s one hell of a musician. despite you knowing about this trick of hers, somehow, you always seem to give in, “you were amazing as always, nat!!”

rockstar!nat who everyone has eyes for, but only has eyes for you

[angelsforthenight]

sonny’s masterlist ✧.*

key:

smut — 𖤓

fluff — ༊

suggestive — ✧

𖡎 ellie williams (TLOU2)

beyond salvage (pt 1.) ✧

beyond salvage (pt 2.) 𖤓

i could eat that girl for lunch 𖤓

music lover ellie ༊

but not kiss ༊

take care of me 𖤓 ༊

𖡎 abby anderson (TLOU2)

mrs and mrs smith 𖤓

𖡎 arcane

arcane nsfw headcanons 𖤓

𖡎 sevika (arcane)

subby top! sevika 𖤓

[bucklawtie]

inspired by bunny!amber from @/comet-forgot-you

( ignore how 90% of it is nsfw )

nsfw under the cut .

thinking about demihuman bunny!jackie taylor..

bunny!jackie who has a pair of big fluffy rabbit ears and a little nub for a tail.

bunny!jackie with long pointy ears that swivel at every sound..

bunny!jackie who stomps her foot like a rabbit when she's frustrated or angry, and its really hard to take her seriously when she does.

bunny!jackie who is incredibly embarrassed by her high libido, as she's practically insatiable.

bunny!jackie who has a bunch of toys and keeps them just tucked away in her closet.

bunny!jackie whos incredible flustered when you find her toys. not just because of the amount, but because of what she was using.

bunny!jackie who has a breeding kink... she dont care if your using a strap, get that girl pregnant.

such a big breeding kink that she begs for you to get her pregnant every time you use a strap.

to a point where when you finally got her a squirting one... lets just say, the strap wasnt the only one squirting.

bunny!jackie who could ride your strap for hours, and even flips you over to ride you once you're too tired.

bunny!jackie who could eat your pussy until her jaw falls off...

bunny!jackie who loves face sitting, whether giving or recieving.

bunny!jackie who loves when you pull her ears or hair. whether it be when your fucking her, eating your pussy, or literally anything else.

bunny!jackie who has super sensitive ears. not all of her ears, but the second you graze the base of her ears or tug on it, shes soaked.

lowkey kinda incoherent and random but idk i js need to tell my truth.. also i might add more later this is js a quick thing..

[zqmbiescorpse]

THE MORNING AFTER THE LAST

lottie matthews x female reader

a/n: i used the word 'homosexual' once and every time i see it i giggle a bit, so if it feels out of place for you it felt out of place for me too lmao

summary: you and lottie have always been suspiciously close for best friends. one night at a party, the feelings finally surface. the only thing left to complicate the situation is a plane crash and a possession.

warnings: alcohol, smoking, brief mentions of homophobia, kissing, sexual tension, suggestive themes, possession, minor depictions of violence (like once i think)

word count: 5.6k

(masterlist)

Your head pounded rhythmically, in time with the pulsating music blaring all around you; the consequence of partying in the middle of nowhere with an abundance of alcohol. By some miracle, you and your team had made it to nationals and were due to fly to Seattle the following morning, so naturally, every member of the Yellowjackets could be found here, either drunk or high - in hindsight, it was not the best idea, but you were teenagers, a lame excuse for the fact that you'd get up to some stupid shit. 

If you'd had a mind of your own and had refused to succumb to the pressures of high school, you would most likely be at home now, snuggled up in the warm comfort of your own bed, attempting to fall asleep since tomorrow was going to be very busy for you. Without a doubt, as much sleep as possible would have prepared you for the day, even if you were kept awake for a little while due to an overwhelming anxiety and excitement gathering in the pit of your stomach, like butterflies were congregating to flutter around down there. 

However, you were currently standing propped up against someone's car. You didn't know whose it was, just that it was oddly parked in the middle of the party, surrounded by towering trees and irresponsible youth. Either way, it provided you with something to lean on, eliminating the need to hold yourself up while you slumped against it - red plastic cup in hand, you occasionally sipped the cheap alcohol, the flavour reminiscent of metal, bitter and sour, burning the back of your throat as you slowly swallowed it until there was nothing left. 

Why were you here then? You'd find yourself pondering that question every other moment of the night, each time, your brain would trigger a similar answer and you'd suddenly be fine with the atmosphere again. The social gathering was merely a non-suspicious justification to spend time with Lottie, who was off scrounging for more beer to supply the both of you with. It hadn't been long, a few minutes max, though, you still wished she'd hurry up and come back. You weren't really invested in conversing with any other members of your team, or anyone else here that attended your school for that matter - leaving you awkwardly awaiting Lottie's return. 

This didn't automatically mean that you disliked the people you would play the sport with, you did like a large majority of them and they were your closest friends. You weren't a loner, despite your lack of socialising at that moment which suggested otherwise; everyone else seemed to be scattered about, maybe in pairs or threes, moseying around with their own designated companion. You'd even catch glimpses of some of the girls kissing random guys, undoubtedly sparking trouble and unwanted romantic drama. You didn't want to be part of it. Ultimately, you were quite content with reducing yourself to clinging to Lottie's side, as you typically did.

The girl was witty, and cleverly humorous despite the fact that she was more subtle than harsh, never getting in anyone’s face or poking unnecessary fun at an oblivious target. She wasn't mean, bearing no intent to harm or cause trouble. Aside from her stunning looks and adorably gorgeous face, her genuine friendliness, sarcastic nature, and intelligence only ever intensified your infatuation with her. In addition, Lottie was incredible at what she did, her footwork being the cleanest on the team - how could you not admire her? 

At times, it frustrated you to no end, considering the world you lived in, people would avoid homosexuals like the plague, meaning you had precisely zero people to talk to about your troubles. You'd attempted to dismiss such feelings for your best friend, however, each instance proved useless.

Creating distance between the pair of you failed miserablely, for starters, the image of you and Lottie Matthews being miles apart caused eyebrows to raise immediately - purposely avoiding her made you feel deflated while it drastically upset her. It was inhumane to do that to someone, especially someone so special to you, therefore, that plan was scrapped within minutes. Besides, you played soccer together for your school, it was only a matter of time before you'd be attached at the hip again. 

'Newbie' was not the correct term for you, regarding your experiences with the team, nevertheless, you couldn't help but question your own utility. Although you could never exactly pinpoint why you were valued so much, apparently everyone else thought you were a spectacular asset and essential if they had any hope of winning Nationals. You disagreed. 

On the other hand, Lottie acted like she was your personal hype woman, constantly drowning you in praises throughout every second of every game. Those things got under your skin, in the best way possible. It was a miracle that your performance didn't waver when she'd encourage you with such charming words, blushing and fumbling after every compliment. 

You watched the brunette make her way toward you, a new batch of murky liquid in her hands, your heart a flutter at the mere sight of her. Lottie stumbled across the bumpy terrain, careful of the mud to prevent a fall, yet, she didn't hesitate to raise an arm excitedly to greet you. You smiled, shyly returning the wave. 

"Jesus Christ, what idiot chose here of all places to have a party!" Lottie giggled, slipping the new cup of alcohol into your old, empty one. 

"I have no idea, we kinda just show up, no questions asked," Your response was nonchalant, "Oh, thank you, by the way, for the drink," You quickly added on, eager to show your gratitude, even if it was over something minor. 

"What?" She stared, wide-eyed, struggling to hear you over the booming beats of whatever shitty song was playing. 

"I was just saying thank you for the beer!" Somewhat slurring your words, you began to shout, ensuring that you wouldn't need to repeat yourself again. 

"Yeah, of course! It's no problem!" 

Neither of you was severely intoxicated, at best it was more of a faint buzz guiding your bodies closer. The proximity gradually narrowed - there was not much hesitation as you were too busy caught up in the pointless, drunken conversation flowing between you and her. 

Equally giddy, you became progressively needy, hanging onto every word she spoke, whereas Lottie continuously rambled on about everything and nothing, informing you about insignificant details; a vast grin plastered to her face. Out of all the Yellowjackets, it was obvious that you and Lottie had consumed the most alcohol, the image of you together - fairly isolated from everyone else though still in view of anyone sober enough to care - her free hand lazily played with the ends of your hair and you gazed up at her wearing a toothy grin. 

Although it was strange for her to publicly display physical affection for you, the action didn't linger on your mind due to the woozy atmosphere. The man-made peace surrounding you, created by the beer, was soon broken by a few incoherent voices quarrelling suddenly. 

"You're a fucking sociopath!" 

Lottie, instantly detecting where the commotion was coming from, followed the sound of arguing. You trailed behind her, also eager to see some excitement.

"That was Shauna, right?" You inquired, cracking up at the idea of Shauna of all people getting into it with someone else, she was definitely not the type to start trouble.

"Sounds like her," The taller girl delighted, "Look! There, with Taissa."

You and Lottie merged with the congregation of people intensely monitoring Shauna and Taissa as they bickered back and forth about an incident that had occurred prematurely. Van had evidently been tangled up in the crossfire, the poor girl trying her hardest to separate her agitated teammates. You momentarily realised the situation was because of the gruesome injury inflicted on Allie, having been present when her flesh was ripped off her leg and her kneecap smashed. 

"I don't need you to defend me? Last time I checked you were totally fine with the whole 'freeze her out' strategy," Nat, feeling targeted, counted herself into the dispute, "I don't know why you two decided to come over here and just laugh when you were very much involved too?"

Her attention focused on you and Lottie, pointing fingers, exaggerating your amusement that had washed over with concern long before it had been mentioned, and hearing everyone shout at each other conveyed the seriousness of the situation plenty.

"Hey, what? We're not laughing?" Lottie defensively piped up, "I even said that I was unsure about it! How was I supposed to know that Tai would take it that far!"

Natalie shook her head, unimpressed with Lottie, instead, aggressively addressing you now. You hadn't spoken a single word, yet, the terror that shot through your veins was indescribable.

"What's your excuse? Apart from the fact that you go along with anything Lottie does," The blonde condescended.

"Fuck off Natalie, I didn't do anything. I didn't bust her leg and ruin her chances at playing sport," You quipped back at the unwanted blame, humiliated at whatever she was trying to hint at concerning Lottie.

"Bull. Shit."

Many negligible disagreements erupted violently inside the once collective dispute, drawing attention to you and your group. The volume was out of control, girls verbally attacking one another over nothing, arguing for argument's sake.

Due to the commotion, you started to attract bystanders, which in turn, alerted a very annoyed Jackie. She stopped what she was doing and promptly stomped over, disappointed and desperate to defuse the situation. Stern words from the girl with honey-coloured hair swiftly lead the fighting members of the Yellowjackets into a clearing, isolated from the party's intense atmosphere. 

You suppressed a groan at the suggested team-bonding activity, not particularly thrilled to forcibly compliment them at Jackie's request. Originally mimicking a military lineup, everyone disassembled from the formation and awkwardly approached each other, mumbling positive affirmations.

You were fortunate enough to be right next to Lottie, the taller girl swivelling around to meet your smaller self. She was without a drink, likely thrown it away before arriving at the new destination - in its place was a freshly lit cigarette. The crisp air dancing across your bodies sobered you up a bit, although not completely, you still felt more capable of thinking straight. 

There were millions of compliments you could've shower the beautiful brunette with, deciding what to actually say was a challenge. Taking drags of the cigarette and blowing the smoke in your general direction, because Lottie knew how it would make you blush, she peered down at you expectedly, awaiting an answer. Alternatively, she could've just taken the lead but didn't, for reasons you couldn't figure out.

"Jackie seriously couldn't think of anything better to fix our problems," You offered, seriously unsure about what to say to her. Lottie certainly wasn't going to let it go, yet the issue of accidentally being too forward and implying your romantic feelings for her was a looming threat that held you back. 

"What is it, not got anything nice to say to me?" She mused, smirking. 

"I admire your commitment to sport and…" You cut yourself off. 

"And what?" 

A strangled chuckle left your tightening throat, leaving Lottie amused. 

"I don't know, well, I was gonna say something like…you're a really great friend to me."

For a millisecond, you considered coming out with the truth and telling her how pretty she was. Ultimately, you fumbled and quickly covered it up, though you couldn't shake the feeling that Lottie knew how awfully you were lying. 

"Sure, you're a good friend to me too," she mocked, playfully jabbing her finger into your shoulder before returning the cigarette to her lips. 

This your eyes followed, trailing up until you inevitably met hers. You didn't know if it was because you'd gained confidence after the alcohol you'd had throughout the evening, or if you had internally decided to be more bold - forward with her - but you didn't want to look away. You couldn't look away. 

You noticed as Lottie's face changed from playful, to something more gentle, yet serious, like she had been suddenly whisked away in the same trance that had lured you into a daze. The ever-present background noise of the girls laughing and joking with each other danced happily around your ears, your subconscious pleased to hear your teammates having fun again. Though, you felt isolated from them, too focused on Lottie's plump lips and how they would part slightly, ready to say something, but freighted to do it. 

Her tanned skin glistened under the shine of the moon, creating something other-worldly out of someone who was already beyond ravishing. The distance between you shortened with each second, Lottie's hands were itching to reach out and pull you closer - you craved it. 

"Me and Shauna are gonna start heading back, get home safe!" 

The lust-filled atmosphere concealing you and her from the rest of the world crumbled, the interruption from Jackie announcing her and Shauna's exit brutally snapped the pair of you back into reality. There were a few awkward glances shared while you casually backed off from her. Nothing really happened; the fear of rejection crept in nonetheless, wondering if you'd overstepped her boundaries. 

Jackie and Shauana disappeared into a clearing, prompting many of the other girls to disperse and start to make their own way home.

"Are we leaving too?" You shyly asked, the tension from moments ago playing on your mind.

Lottie paused, considering her options thoroughly. She scanned the surrounding area, her face radiating an internal conflict so severe she couldn't have just been deciding whether she wanted to return home or stick around for a little longer.

“No. We’re staying.”

Her voice was fierce, a dangerous fire blazing in her eyes as she snatched your wrist and dragged you further within the trees, the taller girl guiding you to an unknown destination. You didn't complain nor protest. It was completely in the norm for her to do whatever she pleased with you trailing not too far behind. One could even say, you were totally whipped. She had your entire trust.

"Where are we going, Lottie?" You laughed nervously - that curious, giddy feeling back again.

"Away from everyone…just the two of us."

You couldn't determine her tone and you couldn't see her face. A silent blush tinted your cheeks. Was she messing with you? Was she purposely sounding so seductive? Did she know how hard your aching heart was pounding frantically against your chest?

The brunette came to a halt and you followed suit. Lottie finally spun around, meeting you face-to-face, her eyebrows were furrowed and her breath against your skin was unsteady, but it didn't stop her from grabbing your jaw and sloppily locking her lips with yours.

Tingles and hot flushes spread across your body due to the very sensation that was her mouth pressing bruisingly into your own. Any whimpers or whines you let slip as you reciprocated the passion she was gifting you, were shushed, Lottie taking the quickest of breaks from being attached to your lips to remind you to keep quiet made your insides melt - having the opposite effect, instead encouraging you to get more impatient.

She forcefully guided you backward until the rough bark of a tree was up against you, your hands clutched to her waist and your nails dug deeper because of this, earning a pleasured groan from the one who was basically on top of you. You could taste the liquor from earlier on her, she could taste it on you too. It didn't stop either of you from wildly exploring each other's mouths. 

Desperate to somehow be even closer to you, Lottie's weight smothered you, her height compared to yours left you with no chance of gaining control, but that wasn't an issue at all. Unintentionally, she lifted a leg for reasons only justifiable because of the positions you were in and the circumstances of a limited area, causing her knee to press into a certain spot between your shaking thighs. A moan slipped from your throat, louder than expected.

"Oh, my," Lottie chortled, taking a step back, "Did you like that?"

"Shut up and keep kissing me…please."

She obliged, buzzing with delight, the kisses slower at first, filled with love, the pace gradually picking up until you found yourselves similarly to where you were before: heated, messy, and running out of air.

-

The weight from your foot cautiously stepping up the rickety rungs of the old ladder made quite a racket, the wood rotting, similarly to the entire foundation of the cabin. It was a surprise that the structure was even suitable to live inside. Your designated pillow and blanket were slung over your arm, consequently, you struggled to make it to the top - climbing a ladder one-handed was not on your bingo card for this summer. Then again, neither was surviving a plane crash and having to live in Canada's brutal wilderness for an insufferable amount of time.

"What are you doing?" Taissa, who must have heard your endeavour, leaned over the entrance of the attic, "Here, I've got you."

The athlete assisted you with ease, collecting your belongings for you and placing them to the side so they would no longer be an inconvenience.

"Thank you, Tai," You nodded, briskly moving to set out a place to sleep, busying yourself in an attempt to avoid any questions you knew were about to come your way.

"Why are you up here?" 

"I just thought I'd support my friend, prove to everyone that there's nothing to be scared of and that the cabin isn't haunted…" You lied confidently.

"Right…If you were so sure, why did it take you this long to join me up here? I mean, I would appreciate it more if you displayed your so-called unity ten minutes ago? When I proposed the idea and got no response? You tryna make me look stupid?" Taissa quipped, mostly light-hearted, but you knew that she wasn't buying it - she was more bothered about getting the truth out of you than wasting time being annoyed.

You brushed it off with a laugh, kneeling down to fluff up your pillow and adjust the extremely thin blanket-crafted mattress. You relaxed yourself against it, now snuggled up on the floor. Taissa copied this, bringing herself to get comfortable next to you. 

"So are you going to tell me the actual reason why you chose to come sleep in this creepy attic?" She was relentless, never shutting up unless your response was satisfactory. "Shouldn't you be down there, with Lottie?" 

"What? What's that supposed to mean?" You choked, disappointed that she'd guessed part of your problem this early on.

"Oh c'mon, don't be like that, I'm only pointing out that it's unusual for you to be this far away from her. You and Lottie, not up each other's asses? That's unheard of," She smirked. 

"Okay, shouldn't you be down there with Van, then?" You mimicked the suggestive question, turning the suspicious homoerotic friendship allegations onto her this time. 

Taissa let out a sigh. Not because of you or anything that you'd said, rather, she missed her secret lover after mere minutes of separation.

"Van's too freaked out, she wanted to stay with the others," She spoke, deflated, the cheeky way of her words had disappeared, the reality of what you'd seen at the seance front and centre in her mind. 

"I'm terrified," You bluntly admitted, "I'm way too scared to be near her and I know how selfish it sounds but I can't do it. Lottie…she, well, she was fucking possessed!" 

After the party, you and her never spoke about the kiss. Things carried on between you as they normally would, thankfully, yet the memories of that night corrupted your every thought. You assumed that the plethora of alcohol you shared caused her to forget, which was still strange since you remembered it perfectly, but ignored it anyway. If she genuinely had no memory of it, that would probably be for the best; you'd hate to ruin your already-established friendship. 

However, over the past week subsequent to the crash, there was a minor difference in her that made it so the pair of you were somehow closer than before, this including physical closeness to one another. Hence, you were under the impression that she simply refused to mention the kiss due to reasons unknown. Possibly some variation of fear. 

Then, as her way of 'pulling her weight' to help the group adapt to their new life, Jackie cooks up an amazing idea to host a seance that, in turn, offers Lottie up to any available demons, her body becoming a vessel for the supernatural. 

It was horrifying. The delicate flicker of the candles had blown themselves out, ripping away any source of light; the room was filled with disorientated screams and panicked suggestions to make Lottie stop chanting - your 'sort-of girlfriend' had been repeating something demonic in French, successfully freaking everyone the fuck out. Vague translations had left the group mostly in the dark about what was happening, the only parts that were figured out included the spillage of blood and the demands of an unnatural being. 

The shock that struck you then stayed with you now, the thought of sleeping next to her was unbearable, thus explaining why you relocated to the attic to be with Taissa.

"It's okay to be scared, you know that, right?" She offered, trying to smile.

"I feel horrible though. I can't believe I just left her because I'm too much of a coward to face an issue that wasn't even her fault!" You fussed, grumbling into your hands to hide your face and the tears that were forming in your eyes. 

"Hey, it's not your fault either. I'm sure Lottie will understand if you spend one night away from her, with good reason might I add," A friendly chuckle strived to cheer you up, Tai shuffled up to you in case you needed to borrow her shoulder. 

"We kissed."

You don't know why you told her, you were planning on keeping it a secret, locking it away forever like the situation never even existed in the first place and was just another daydream, about your best friend, that nobody would ever know about. 

The girl beside you took in a shocked breath, "Shit…I kinda guessed that you weirdos liked each other a bit too much but oh my god I wasn't expecting that." 

"We've both been acting like nothing happened that night. Then this had to happen and make everything more complicated." You explained, slightly calmer than you had been a few moments ago. 

"Try not to worry about it. Get some rest, clear your mind, and talk to her about it tomorrow, okay? 

The suggestion had you nodding in agreement, what else could you really do at that point in time? You were in great need of an undisturbed rest and if you had to move away from the possessed culprit to do that then it was in your right to do so. You concluded that at the first chance you got throughout the busy, chore-filled day, you would go off and find Lottie. The idea made you anxious, nauseous even, but you couldn't avoid her and 'it' forever. 

When you finally awoke the next morning, the sun was beaming through the window, golden rays shining down on your face and painfully in your eyes - you rolled over to avoid it, only to discover that Taissa was already gone. 

It must've been later than usual since nobody besides Coach Scott could be found inside the cabin, everyone else had vacated it to carry out tasks, individually pitching in, which you were falling behind on due to the late start.

You recalled Shauna asking you to assist her with something, probably revolving meat rations. You weren't sure why she chose you of all people to help her with that stuff, but you supposed it was because you originally showed some willingness and then suddenly, you're dragged into it every time. 

Luckily, you spotted her immediately, stood around with Jackie, seemingly waiting for you. 

Apologies for unintentionally lying in came tumbling out of you, explaining how Taissa kindly forgot to wake you up. This earned you a hearty chuckle from Shauna who reassured you that it was okay, and that she knew you'd take a little longer as Tai had taken it upon herself to inform the group that you needed the extra rest. Feeling partially relieved, you followed Shauna into the forestry areas to the shed where the dead animals were kept - you didn't fail to notice Lottie's absence. 

As instructed, you thinly sliced the portions of raw meat for rationing; the blade smoothly cut through. It wouldn't be long until you'd run out of food again, the one deer unfortunately wasn't enough to sustain the group forever, hence, you'd rather not worry about it, the hunters were out doing all they could and you had to put some faith in them. 

Your mind drifted to Lottie, not a great decision since thinking about her was very distracting and you were wielding an extremely sharp knife - to accidentally slash your fingers while concentrating on her would be an amusing story for everyone else, not so funny for you however.

"Are you nearly finished?" Shauna checked up on your progress, peeking over your shoulder. 

"Pretty much, yeah," You murmured, preoccupied, "Hey, have you seen Lottie this morning? I'm just curious since she wasn't around the cabin."

"Yeah I saw her, it wasn't for long," She recalled, "Laura Lee took her to the lake. You know, after the seance and everything…she's been acting really weird."

Having finished your task, you placed the knife down and rested your palms against the rigid table, then said, "I don't know how I'm realising it now but, something has been wrong with her for a fair few days. We haven't brought any attention to it, is all. 

With a dirtied rag, Shauna wiped the blood off her hands and urged you to do the same. 

"Maybe keep an eye on her if it makes you feel better. I think we've all been acting reasonably different." She replied, wanting to keep the hopes high, this you appreciated, giving her a small nod as she gathered up the meat and took it away to be stored. 

You sighed deeply and shut your eyes tight, focusing on nothing, ensuring that your head was clear. The heat alone, out there in the wild, made you feel exhausted.

Stretching your back, you heard a faint rustle from no more than a metre or two away. Expertly scanning the surrounding area, you were ready to snatch the weapon up from the table and call for backup. If you were lucky, this could've been your next meal. Your mouth almost watered at the many possibilities of which animal would come into your vicinity without a single clue in the world of what their fate would be. The low grumble in your stomach grew. 

Emerging from the trees, you quickly learnt that it wasn't an animal at all, it was Lottie; her hair had been wet but was gradually drying, some of the strands still clinging to her face, and the t-shirt she was wearing had a few damp patches splattered about. 

Abruptly feeling awkward, you met her eyes sheepishly, waiting patiently for her to break the silence. 

"Is now a bad time?" She carefully questioned you, her hands joined together in a  nervous clump. 

"Not at all," You uttered, feigning confidence when you were actually as equally anxious as she was. 

"Can we talk?" 

You had no objections, having been patient all day, awaiting an opportunity to set things straight with Lottie. Trailing behind her into the woods, you thought back to the party, the way she was leading you to a secluded area so the pair of you could be isolated, it was a direct parallel to that night that seemed a lifetime ago, the night where you had hopes that your relationship might have progressed. 

"Is everything okay, Lot?" You gently asked.

"Where were you last night?" The taller girl decided you'd walked far enough and that this spot behind the cabin was suitable to converse, thus she stopped, "I woke up and you weren't there." 

"I went to the attic."

"Why?"

There was no use in lying, it wouldn't benefit neither you nor Lottie, the excuse that you went up there for Tai, that you failed in convincing her, wouldn't make much sense anyway because the brunette had slept through the proposal. Plus, you just wanted to be honest. That's why you agreed to this in the first place. 

"I was scared of what happened to you," You admitted, the anxiety you felt after seeing her possessed came flooding back, distressing you all over again. 

Lottie paused, conjuring the perfect response. She didn't say anything - a small, understanding, but sad, nod was the best she could do. A harsh pang of guilt struck your lower body. 

"I'm sorry, leaving you like that was probably wrong and I shouldn't have done it, I didn't mean to upset you, Lot. I'm really sorry," You apologised sincerely, "I'm not freaked out anymore, maybe a bit on edge still but, you're better now, right?" 

You wondered if you sounded too whiny, your intention was to ensure that your best friend was okay, nothing else. 

Her big brown eyes swirled with confusion, she couldn't even tell herself if she had returned back to normal, her voice brimming with anxiety, she whispered, "Do you hate me for what happened?" 

"What, no! Of course not, I promise I don't hate you," You explained in a panic, absolutely heartbroken that you'd caused her to say such ridiculous things. 

"I don't just mean that," Lottie slowly spoke, testing the waters as she was concerned about approaching the upcoming admission, "The party too, we never talked about it."

To say you were astonished was an understatement. Lottie, someone who you thought had completely forgotten about the kiss, openly acknowledged the fact that it definitely happened.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't think that you remembered, or that you chose to ignore it. I could never hate you, especially because of something like that. It was amazing!" You exclaimed, red tinting your cheeks, joy spreading across your face. 

This same cheer infected Lottie, her frown lifting into a beautiful, more confident grin. 

"Yeah, it was good," She agreed, blushing furiously. 

Although she appeared happier, the furrow of her brow indicated that she remained slightly apprehensive, prompting you to inquire, "What is it, Lot?" 

"There's another problem, I think I've been seeing stuff and I don't know if it's real or not." The brunette troubled, shuffling around. 

"Like hallucinations? Visions?" 

"Visions. I went to the lake earlier, with Laura Lee, and she dunked me under the water - and I ended up in a candle-lit room and then I saw an explosion and… I don't know what's happening to me," She rambled on, her eyes pricking with tears. 

You reached out to her, firmly rubbing her shoulder for comfort, "You can talk to me about anything, I'm here for you."

"So, you'll believe me? Laura Lee does, but the others are cautious. You're the one that I need." Lottie's expression was solemn, entirely serious about the discussion you were having; her vulnerable side shining through. 

"I believe you and I trust you. I care about you so much, you know?" 

 Your attention was brought to the blossoming pink patches covering her face due to your honesty, the taller girl experiencing an overwhelming mixture of emotions, she launched herself into your open arms. You hugged her back, tightly, letting go wasn't something that you'd be doing anytime soon, the height difference when you'd have such drawn-out, warm embraces always succeeded in making you laugh. 

After an undetermined amount of time, you both instinctively pulled away simultaneously. You gazed up at her, body language oozing with love while you brushed her dark strands of hair out of her face. Lottie's tanned hand cupped your cheek, you could see that she was feeling the warmth radiating off of it, yet, it didn't humiliate you, it felt freeing. 

You leaned in close, pecking her soft lips once, then going back in for a second short, though, sickly sweet kiss. Lottie began to giggle - the melodic noise identical to the one you would hear in the Yellowjackets locker room after a long, tiring game, or when you and her exclusivity went around invested in your own dumb shenanigans. It had been a while since you'd heard it, your heart beating faster as a result. 

Her palm traced your skin until she arrived at your chin, tilting it upwards, accessing your mouth easier as she towered over you - this kiss was not a short peck. It wasn't a sloppy, heated mess either, rather, it was slow and filled to the brim with affection. 

"So are we like a thing then?" Lottie beamed, remaining incredibly close to you with an indescribable bliss. 

"If you want things to be official, then I do too," You marvelled, mirroring her wide, toothy grin. 

You continued to pepper kissing all over each other's faces, showering your counterparts in affection. From there, things were appearing more positive; your hopes were high for the future.

[reveluving]

sweeter than sweet ; phillip graves x reader x jeff sadecki

summary: nothing like making sweet memories at a fall festival with your beloveds.

warnings: major fluff; they're sickeningly in love with you, lots of sweet treats & brother bantering + nat & kev appreciation, explicit language, takes place shortly after the main story (which I’m STILL working on I know but hey, more twins content!)

a/n: and we're back, THIS TIME WITH OUR FAVOURITE TWINS!! I enjoyed this so, so, so much. I needed all the sweetness, and I sure as hell needed to share it with y'all for this cozy season! please don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» wanna know what I have in store this fall? come & check out this year's 'reve's quirky reverie' m.list! 🕷️'!

'So, what better way to commemorate the moment than to help Mama out, all three of you?' ;

“Mama!” You rushed over to the older lady, taking the tray she was carrying from the boot of the car, “We can handle the carrying.”

“Ah, c’mon now, a couple o’ trays ain’t gon’ kill me.” She dismissed your worries with a wave of a hand, chuckling as your pout deepened at her words. 

“Mama, please.” 

“Alright, alright, I hear ya,” She chuckled, gently squeezing your cheek, “But the second y’see ‘em slackin’ off, y’tell me.”

That brought a grin to your lips, especially when you spotted Phil and Jeff carrying trays and displays to the booth designated for Denise’s baked goods with ease.

“Pretty sure they’re doing just fine.” You reassured her, though you knew she was also joking around, knowing how good and well she raised her sons. 

... For the most part. 

Silently agreeing with your response with a proud smile, you and Mama headed over to her booth, quaint and Halloween-y just like the other ones around you. The cool air nipped at your skin, despite the comfortable set you've put on specifically for this very special day.

Like Phil, it was your first visit to the town’s fall festival in a long time, something you had always looked forward to every year. Helping Mama out with selling her blue-ribbon treats, stopping by other booths to see your friends and even playing a few games, no matter how rigged some of them were. 

Because at the end of the day, the twins would put their heart and soul into winning something for you. 

Like the two Tomodachis they won you during your sophomore year, all while being able to enjoy the smug smile being wiped off the operator's face.

Now, with your promise to visit Wiskayok whenever possible, this time, your break falling in the month of October, you couldn't bear to miss the festival anymore.

Simultaneously marking it as your first in years, and your first since the beginning of your relationship.

So, what better way to commemorate the moment than to help Mama out, all three of you?

Upon reaching her booth, you and Mama were met with the sight of the brothers quietly arguing about where to put the glass display for her coffee cake—her best-selling goods every year. Their petty disagreement stopped when you and their mother came into view, the latter deadpanning at the two already.

“Ma, listen,” Phil started, seemingly to apologize, “He started it.”

Jeff gaped, only to drop his arms to his sides like he had already given up the fight with his baby brother, “Okay.”

“Told ‘em t’put it next to the sticky buns but he didn’t wanna listen.” Phil added, villainizing his twin. Jeff could only turn to you, deadpanning the same way Mama did. All you could do was hold back a laugh because if Mama was going to start nagging at someone, you most definitely did not want to be a part of it.

Mama shook her head in amusement, then continued to set up the table together. 

At some point in the preparation, Mama had requested Jeff to help her check the car for anything amiss, leaving you behind the counter and Phil putting on the last lights at the front. 

Then, out of the blue, he slid a few bucks across the counter. 

“A kiss, from the most gorgeous girl in town, please.” He playfully requested.

You huffed, amused, “This isn't a kissing booth, commander.” 

“No? Could've fooled me when you're working behind the counter,” He mused aloud, “How much do I gotta pay t’get a pretty lady—the pretty lady t’give me some sugar, huh? Ten bucks? Fifty bucks? A hundred?” 

“A kissing booth charging more than five dollars sounds like a scam.” You commented, raising a brow.

“Darlin’, if I'm ever givin’ you less than at least fifty dollars for anythin’, let alone five, just know that is not me.” He quipped.

You giggled, sliding the money back to his side as you leaned in, “For you? I'm willing to do it for free.”

His smug smile grew, “Now, that wouldn't do, darlin’. I can pay up. Honest.”

Phil just smirked at the suspicious look on your face, “Alright, so a few bucks ain’t gon’ cut it. But I know what will.”

Just then, he whipped out a treat, and you were wondering why he had hidden his hand behind his back minutes ago, and from the moment your eyes landed on the surprise, you knew you could not say no.

“Now, you’re just playing dirty.” You pouted.

“I like to call it ‘bein’ considerate’,” He grinned. He couldn’t get your cute frown, especially as he tauntingly shook the soft maple cookie in front of you, “Y’know these things sell out damn fast, and as cute as y’are poutin’, I’d rather it be a playful one.”

You knew what he was referring to; during middle school, you attended the festival a little later than usual, only to find out your favourite maple cookie fix had sold out. While it was nobody’s fault it happened, it was one of the earliest times Phil was obliged to make the season right for you while it still lasted, offering his mother some of his allowance in hopes she could meet up with Mrs. Walker to whip up a batch just for you the next day. 

Mama accepted the money from Phil’s insistence, only to slip it back into his piggy bank without his knowledge because just like her, Mrs. Walker found the story too adorable and offered it for free.

The joy in your eyes upon receiving a box of it may have been the driving force in working for ultimate success in hopes of always spoiling you. He acknowledged that while money couldn’t always buy happiness, and he’d be a fool to think he could buy your affection, it was just his way of showing you he cared. 

Besides, you knew the commander beyond his prideful front, and besides the constant gift-giving, he never shied away from reminding you of his devotion via sweet words and even sweeter touches.

“All I’m askin’ for is a lil’ bit o’sugar.” He drawled, anticipating your soft lips on him already.

Looking back, it was a little embarrassing to be pouty over a treat, no matter how much you reassured the family that the other goods were more than enough, but in your defence, you were twelve. Plus, seeing Phil before you, utterly shameless in his adoration, in being yours, you supposed he did deserve some sugar. 

You sighed and Phil knew he had you right where he wanted when a smile, knowing you reminisced the same thing he did, bloomed on your lips, “One kiss.”

“One kiss.” 

You didn't have to know about his fingers crossing behind him.

You leaned in, and Phil immediately met you in the middle, savouring the plush of your lips against his. While he knew not to act up, to pull you closer by your head and feel your tongue sliding against his, it didn’t mean he liked it whatsoever, but what was the harm in breaking the rules just a little bit, right?

So, he suddenly deepened the kiss before nipping on your bottom lip. You squeaked, breaking the kiss to smack his arm, “Phil! C'mon, Mama could be around.” 

He cracked up, remaining unbothered as his hands rested on the counter, “But I kept my promise.”

He paused and you didn’t have to guess his next possible response.

“But if you’re up f’more…”

“Ahem.” 

Just then, Mama—however she snuck up on you was uncertain—cleared her throat, standing behind you. She raised a brow, eyes darting between him and you, “You two behavin’?” 

“Yes, ma'am,” You immediately hid behind her, pouting as you peered over her shoulder, “Phil's just being a big bully.” 

Despite knowing you were joking, she played along as she shot her youngest a playful glare. The not-so-innocent grin, like he was silently telling her ‘I didn't do anythin’. Swear’ he gave her had you giggling.

Jeff took the opportunity to wrap his arms around you from behind and warm you up, taking advantage of the slight privacy in the booth with you. Hooking his chin over your shoulder, he kissed your cheek, “Yeah? He bullying you? Need me to teach him a lesson?” 

“Please?” You fluttered your lashes at him and shit, who was he to say no to you?

He may not know how to fight as well as his brother but he still had some brawns in him.

Phil knew the look in his brother’s eyes and while he, too, would’ve done the same, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight, “Now, wait a damn minute—”

“Boys,” The boys in question immediately shut their mouths but not before shooting each other the brotherly stink eye. Mama sighed, looking at you over her shoulder, “Help me with the crisp, will ya?”

“Can do.” You nodded and Jeff was forced to let you go, but his disappointment in the brief embrace lifted after you pecked a kiss on his cheek, bringing a dumb little smile on his face. 

Before you could even continue helping Mama, Phil tapped on your shoulder, feeding you the cookie from earlier, and knowing he expected a little something-something in return, especially after the quick smooch for his brother, you kissed him on the cheek, earning yourself his million-dollar smile.

But just as you and the twins enjoyed a box of it along the way, and as Mama peeled the last saran wrap off another tray, she clasped her hands, remembering something.

“Gemma!” She exclaimed then reached over to hold your hand between hers, “Sweetheart, I promised her I’d bring the boys to help set her booth up t’day.” 

She pointed to your right, one of the stands lacking decorations that laid next to it, which Gemma, the sweet lady older than Mama, surely could not do on her own. 

“Y’mind mannin’ the booth ‘til we get back?” She asked, guilt already seeping into her tone. 

You quickly squeezed her hand in return, “I’ll be fine, Mama. It’s not my first time.”

You mirrored her smile upon hearing your reply, “I know, just had t’make sure. I won’t take long, I promise.”

“No rush!” You reassured, responding to Phil and Jeff mouthing ‘we’ll be quick’ by offering two thumbs-up before they followed their mother. You weren’t worried. Sure, you’ve never handled the booth without Mama or either of the brothers before, but you knew your way around it.

So, you easily prepared the necessary, and it wouldn’t take long for your first customer to arrive, calling your name. You straightened at the familiar voice, the corners of your lips quirking upwards upon seeing three newcomers.

“Nat, Kev, hi! You‘re early.” 

“Promised Mason we’d stay in tonight.” Natalie shrugged, motioning to the young boy next to Kevyn, the two greeting you with similar smiles, “Watch some childhood horror movies, eat a ton, then sleep a ton in the living room.”

“Well,” You were already folding the first box for their order, “All the more reason to help you guys out ASAP. What will it be?”

“A bit of everything,” She replied, letting a few seconds go by before adding, “Please.”

You huffed, amused by her way of teaching herself to be cordial, even when you’ve known her for so long, “You guys really are planning on having a food coma together, huh?” 

“It’s the perfect night for it,” She shrugged, and despite not looking like it, she enjoyed the lightheartedness, “And we couldn’t miss out on Mrs Baker’s goods.”

You nodded in agreement, “Can’t miss out on Mama’s specials. And you, detective?” 

Kevyn shrugged, “Whatever the lady wants.” His lighthearted reply prompted Natalie to scoff.

“Coming right up.” You began arranging the first box with bars and cookies, channelling Mama’s generosity to bring in the joy for the cozy season.

“So, uh, you and twins,” Kevyn began awkwardly, cocking his head at Phil and Jeff helping another neighbour with their stall, “You’re… a thing?”

He meant no harm nor judgement, just curiosity. After all, it was a small town, hearing the relationship through Natalie, who was already furrowing her brows at him at his question. She was ready to reprimand him, to defend you when you reassured her with an easygoing response.

“We are. Been with Phil for a year, but uh, we—the three of us only started last spring,” You closed the first box before filling another with cakes this time, “Didn’t think I’d see Phil in the same base, let alone dating him, then come back here with him and then date Jeff, too.”

“Well…” Natalie drawled knowingly, “Maybe I didn’t see you two going to the military of all places, but I’m pretty sure I pictured you and them being a thing years ago.” 

You chuckled. You couldn’t find it in you to be modest because you’ve had the same thoughts—the same hopes for years. 

“I’m just… really happy.”

“I fucking bet. You got that glow on you,” Natalie jested, then winced before murmuring a ‘sorry’ for her language with Mason around. She coughed, murmuring, “He uh, he didn’t mean it like that, just letting you know.” 

Kevyn raised a brow, only for his eyes to widen in realization, “Oh, no, no, no. I just—Y’know, this is kinda new to me and–”

You couldn’t help but laugh, dismissing his worries with a wave of a hand, “Kev, I hear you. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

Kevyn nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “Congrats, by the way. Jeff sure as hell didn’t stop talking about you when we met up in the gym last week.”

The corners of your lips quirked a little, “Thanks, guys,” 

You offered Mason a cinnamon roll in a paper tray, “And this is on the house. Nat told me you scored twice in the last game. Good job, kid!” 

“Well, well, well,” Lo and behold came Phil, nodding curtly at Natalie before shaking Kevyn’s hand, “Ma’am. Detective. Kid.”

“Commander.” Kevyn greeted back, “Leaving your girl to work the stall alone?”

“She ain’t in one of the best task forces for nothin’. And besides, we’re always keepin’ an eye on her.” Phil told him with pride, one of his arms immediately snacking around your shoulders upon arriving behind the counter next to you, followed by his brother.

“Got this for you.” Jeff passed you a tall takeaway cup, his heart fluttering at the sight of your eyes widening in recognition.

You knew the distinct cup anywhere. Plus, nobody at the festival used chantilly cream instead of the regular whipped one to top their hot chocolate, further sweetening the already decadent drink. 

“I didn’t know they still had this.” You accepted the drink with gratitude.

“Ed took over the business two years ago,” Jeff explained, not directly telling you that he’d also always get the beverage to reminisce his time with you, and now, he was able to share it with you once again, and more to come, “His dad said he always made it best. Tastes like it’s always been.”

Just the way you like it.

You smiled around the rim, taking a little sip of the warm drink, and it was a sight the brothers could not look away from as they stood on either side of you, holding you close, barely caring about their customers witnessing the intimate moment.

Natalie, not wanting to stick around, piped up, “Okay, shit, would you look at the time,” She dug her wallet out of her purse, “Let me just, uh–”

“But you said I was gonna pay—” Kevyn raised a brow, watching Natalie slap a wad of cash, a few units too much onto the counter. She passed the detective one of the boxes and held the other before leading him and Mason away from the lovey-dovey scene, screaming a ‘thanks’ over her shoulder. 

You watched as the three retreated, inwardly apologizing to them for the display of affection. 

“Look at that,” Phil arranged the money in an orderly manner before placing it into his mother’s cash box, “Your first sale, and a couple o’ tips t’spare. Y’think everyone might leave the pretty girl here a tip or two tonight?”

Jeff agreed without question, “I would.”

You fondly rolled your eyes, ”Flatterers.”

“Just you wait,” Phil grinned, “Next thing y’know, everyone’s waitin’ for Mama’s baked goods just t’see her pretty lil’ in-law.” 

Phil knew what he was doing when he referred to you as Mama’s daughter-in-law—being their sweet wife—and how could you have controlled the shy smile blooming on your lips? It was a bold statement to make considering how the three of you weren’t even a year into the relationship, but they were anything but doubtful if time, and hope, ever came to that.

For now, you were just enjoying discovering the connection as it was.

Jeff brushed his lips along your temple, motioning to the hot chocolate, “You like it?”

“I love it,” You tilted your head at him, tiptoeing to kiss his lips and damn, if he wasn’t a fan of hot chocolate already. He returned to soft look you had upon pulling away, even if he wanted nothing more than to chase after your lips, “And I love you,”

You turned your head to Phil, who was already reappearing to your right. A giggle bubbled in your throat as he was the one who initiated the kiss, eager for the rich notes on your lips, “And I love you, too.”

You could only laugh and squirm as they pressed you in between them to cover whatever skin was exposed with all the kisses they could give you, careful not to shake too much and spill your drink. Mama returned soon after, no longer surprised by the little cuddle party she was witnessing despite only leaving the three of you alone for less than ten minutes.

She was just enjoying the moment as much as you were, to be able to share a moment you thought would’ve been nothing more than an old memory to look back on.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

» a/n: my lovelies UGH I can't STAND THEM ㅠㅠ ;; gorgeous divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[zeezelweazel]

something about lottie getting mean towards reader bc reader is giving her the silent treatment after a big fight, and lottie feels like being mean is the only way to get her attention. and they end up having angsty sex ? 🤭🤭🤭

Lottie Matthews| Fool me once, fool me twice|

______________________________________

MEAN LOTTIE OMG

I love reading angsty sex but I've never written it before so I hope it's good. Also sorry this took quite some time

I kinda don't like how this turned out

TW: mild degradation, mentions of cheating, fingering (both receiving), afab female reader

____________________________________________________

The girls knew that having so many couples within the friend group ment that when a fight between them inevitably happens chaos endures. It happens with Shauna and Jackie all the time. Tai and Van too, sometimes. But it was never you and Lottie. You were the sweet couple known for communication and being honest and open with eachother.

But not this time. She was hiding something from you. It was obvious, with the way she seemed to be so set on stopping you from opening the second drawer on her bedside table. You weren't snooping around, obviously not. She told you to find her old necklace and in her words ' it's somewhere in my bedside table '.

She appeared out of thin air when you went to open the second drawer and immediately closed it shut. She looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite place.

"You can't open that drawer."

You were confused. Lottie never got defensive or possessive over anything. Plus you two don't have any secrets... Right?

"Why?"

The conversation escalated into a fight as both of you started yelling. The fight ended with you leaving Lottie's house and slamming the door.

The next few days were more than awkward. You were set on ignoring Lottie even if Van told you time and time again that it was probably nothing. What if she was hiding some other girl's fucking underwear in there?

Lottie decided to give you some space. But after a week you were still avoiding her, not even sparing her a glance much less speak to her.

She was getting frustrated. It was unfair how you expected her to let you in in every aspect of her life. She was acting like a child she knew that much, but she couldn't just sit by and watch you slowly detach yourself from her.

It was probably not the best way to get your attention but it was the only way Lottie could think of. So she started being mean to you. Saying out of pocket things when you were doing absolutely nothing. She had something bitchy to say every time you saw her.

It was getting on your nerves.

The glass spilled during a scrimmage. You hadn't played so well on your last game so you wanted to train as hard as you could. If only Lottie would just shut up. She has a comment for every little mistake that you made. After you missed an easy pass and she straight up laughed at you, you just stormed off the pitch practically running to the locker room.

"Lottie what the fuck?! I don't care if you two broke up or whatever but we're a team. Go and make this right. You won't cone back on this pitch unless Y/N is with you."

Jackie has had enough of your shit. Someone has to get you two to short it out. Lottie grumbled and started jogging towards the locker room.

You had tears of anger in your eyes as you threw your stuff in your bag. You are so done with Lottie fucking Matthews. Next time you see ger in front of you, you swear you'll slap her.

"Hey."

You sharply turned around to meet her eyes. Lottie was awkwardly staring at you, like a child who was forced to apologize by their mom. You scoffed and continued packing your things.

"Oh so now you stop ignoring me."

Lottie was thinking of what to say until she noticed you walking towards the door. She quickly stepped in front of you, her much taller frame completely blocking the door. You look up at her hoping that your glare would be enough to discourage her and make her step away from the exit. Of course Lottie being the stubborn bitch that she is, she didn't budge an inch.

You push her against the wall, your hands tightly fisting the collar of her shirt. Your bodies are pressed together and you swear you can feel her heart beating wildly against your breasts.

You haven't touched her in weeks. Spoken to her in weeks. And yet here you are. Faces only inches away, hands itching to touch and grope, eyes locked together intensely.

It happens faster than a lighting bolt hitting the earth but the scorching heat it leaves behind is all the same. Your lips are crashing together, hot and wet and angry and your hands are returning to familiar territory, on the sides of her neck and her biceps and then they slip under her shirt.

Neither of you pull back, the stupidity of the situation clear to the both of you, instead your panting breaths mix together and fog your brains even more. The hazy atmosphere turns toxic when Lottie takes the liberty of pushing her hands under your bra to find pebbled nipples.

You hiss and gasp under her hands. She still makes you shiver with every touch. You almost melt into her arms but then you remember. How she was being a bitch to you for no reason, how she got under your skin on purpose.

You don't waste any time. Your hand shoves it's way down her shorts and find her wet and desperate. She throws her head back and you almost wince when it loudly bangs against the door.

"Oh, fuck, Y/N."

You missed her. You missed her whines and her breathless pleas and how she clenches around your finger every time you stroke her clit. You missed how she strokes your breast while her hand caresses your inner thigh. How she enters with two fingers because she already knows how wet you are.

Your hands are hurried and your breaths are mingled with eachother. You're both still half dressed and you look at Lottie and you know she's close and you are too. You reach your peak together and your thigs are shaking and Lottie's legs give out and suddenly you're both panting on the floor.

After the lust frenzy dies out you realise that you've just had sex with your girlfriend who's been relentlessly mean to you for the past few days. You glare at her and she awkwardly stares at the ground.

"You have a ton shit to explain Matthews. But first I need a very long apology."

____________________________________________________

[rhiannonsknife]

what abt a pt 2 where Jackie and r are sharing a room while the nationals are happening and after their little.. session they had, r was not talking to Jackie at all not even for team strategies. which made things easier at first for Jackie but she also began to dread it. And at one particular match one of the opponents keeps fouling r to the point that r cant play no longer and Jackie gets really mad and does something to get herself kicked off the pitch and then she storms to the locker room to comfort r

── WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GAME?

— summary: part 2 of this.

— warnings: as always: implied cheating & internalized homophobia. angst. some nsfw content. so mdni. i did not beta read this. also i don’t know shit about soccer.

jackie thought this would be easier. she had really thought this would be easier.

the moment she told you to stay away after what happened in your involuntarily shared hotel room, she’d convinced herself that it was for the best. that she could pretend it hadn’t happened at all. that she could focus on nationals, on playing her best, on not getting distracted (on, for once, not feeling the constant urge to have you knuckle deep inside her whenever you’re around).

and for the first couple of days, it seemed like her plan was working. you were quiet, distant even, avoiding her in a way that should have been a relief. you didn’t so much as glance in her direction, and when coach called for team strategies or drills, you kept your responses strictly professional, never sparing jackie a single unnecessary word. on the field, you played your own very best and the yellowjackets were on a winning streak.

at first, she appreciated it. you were doing what she’d asked; giving her the space to breathe, to push down the confusing feelings that threatened to overwhelm her every time she thought about the way your lips had felt on hers. the way you felt around her fingers, or sounded like, moaning her name into her ear.

then, jackie started to notice the absence.

you weren’t laughing at shauna’s jokes during warm-ups. you weren’t offering quiet encouragement to the team before a big play. you weren’t you, and jackie hated how much it bothered her.

and now, as she’s watching you take the brunt of foul after foul from one of the opposing players during this match, she realizes just how much it’s been eating away at her.

the atmosphere at nationals is everything they’d hoped for: electric, buzzing with the kind of energy jackie lives for. no match in wiskayok or states could ever compare: the crowd roars, flags waving in a sea of team colors, a sharp contrast to the quieter games back home. it’s is everything you’ve worked for. it’s supposed to be jackie’s moment to shine.

she should be focused, completely dialed in, but her mind keeps slipping.

from the moment the whistle blew, she caught herself sneaking glances in your direction: watching the determined set of your jaw, the way you throw yourself into every play despite the thin layer of tension that still lingers between you two.

jackie forces herself to focus, calling out to shauna as the ball sails across the field. shauna moves into position, linking up with tai to create a well practiced formation. she knows they’re the best team here. she knows they can win this thing easily if she would only focus.

the yellowjackets are good -great, even- but jackie can tell this opposing team is different. they’re aggressive, physical in a way that goes beyond the rules. it’s the only reason they’ve come this far.

she spots it immediately the first time the girl fouls you.

it’s a hard shoulder to the side, not enough to draw the ref’s attention but enough to send you stumbling. you recover quickly, brushing it off like it’s nothing, and jackie tries to shake it off with your same kind of ease. out of all the girl’s on the team, you were always on the rather calm side, never drawing any negative attention on your playing.

but it happens again. and again.

the same girl -tall, broad-shouldered, and wearing a number 8 jersey- zeroes in on you like she’s got something to prove. a shove here, an elbow there, and jackie feels the frustration building every time you go down.

by the first half, it’s impossible to ignore. you’re limping slightly now, favoring one leg, but you haven’t said a word about it to anyone. jackie’s jaw tightens as she watches you adjust your shin guard, her fingers itching to grab you and force you to sit out.

“focus up, jackie!” tai yells in passing, snapping her out of her thoughts as the ball rockets toward their side of the field.

thankfully, her captain instincts finally start to kick in. she redirects the team, shouting commands as she positions herself to intercept the play. for a few fleeting moments, she’s back in the game, back in control.

and then it happens.

number 8 takes you down again, this time with a brutal sweep of her leg. you hit the ground hard, and the sharp whistle of the referee barely registers over the sound of jackie’s own heartbeat pounding in her ears. the opposing player doesn’t even have the decency to look sorry. she smirks as she turns away, and something inside jackie snaps.

“that’s it!” she yells, storming across the field before anyone can stop her.

she shoves the girl, hard enough to make her stumble. serves her right. “what the hell is your problem?” jackie demands sharply.

8 stands, shoving jackie right back. the two of them are nose to nose now. “you’ve been playing dirty all game!” jackie growls, her fists clenched. “don’t think i haven’t noticed. stay away from her!“

the ref, who’s been turning a blind eye to all the fouls against you, finally steps in, blowing the whistle. he’s already annoyed with the confrontation, but jackie’s not done yet. the other girl laughs mockingly and then, she goes too far. she shoves jackie again, and this time it’s not just a gentle push. there’s force behind it. jackie’s chest tightens with a surge of adrenaline, and -all at once- she’s done holding back.

before anyone can stop her, jackie swings. It’s quick, instinctive, and lands right on 8’s nose audibly. the crowd gasps. the ref immediately pulls out the red card, the one that signals ejection from the match.

jackie’s chest rises and falls rapidly, her breath sharp and ragged. she doesn’t even seem to notice the red card being held up in front of her, or the shouting of the other players. she’s focused on one thing and one thing only: you.

“you’re done!” ref calls, his voice firm, cutting through the chaos. jackie doesn’t care. instead she’s turning, walking off the pitch with an intensity in her steps that matches her anger. somewhere behind her, shauna is calling her name, but jackie doesn’t stop. she doesn’t even look back, heading straight for the locker rooms.

when she bursts in, you’re sitting on the bench already, trying to ice your visibly swollen ankle.

“jackie…” you start, startled by her sudden presence, but she cuts you off.

“you’re hurt.” her gaze is hard as she stands in front of you, however her hands tremble at her sides. “that player- she-“

“you don’t need to do that,” you say quietly, lowering your eyes. “i can take care of myself just fine”

jackie pauses, her anger slowly deflating as she watches you with a huff. “why didn’t you tell anyone? why didn’t you let them stop her?” she demands. at least her voice is softer now.

you laugh bitterly, shaking your head.”what are you even doing here already?”

jackie lets out a short, breathy laugh, still a little wound up from what happened on the field. she kneels down in front of you, leaning forward to rest her hands on her thighs, trying to catch her breath. “you really think i’d just let that girl get away with it?”

you stare at her, puzzled, eyes wide, the throbbing pain of your ankle momentarily forgotten. “what do you mean?”

jackie rolls her eyes. “i might have punched her...in the face…and i might’ve gotten kicked off the field…but i wasn’t gonna stand by while she kept fouling you like that!”

for a moment, you’re silent. jackie, the jackie you’ve been avoiding ever since…well, since everything happened, just punched another player on your behalf. she can claim that it’s only because you’re one of her teammates all she wants. you know its not just that: last time shauna was fouled by the defense in another match, she hardly batted an eye: she just scored a stunning penalty kick right into the top left corner of their goal, sending the yellowjackets to the quarterfinals of nationals.

this isn’t about her being the captain, with a certain responsibility. this is about you getting hurt.

knowing that makes your heart beat a little faster.

then again, there’s a deeper part of you that’s conflicted. jackie just did something for you that no one else could. she went against everything she’s been trying to keep her distance from. and now, here she is, back in the locker room, having broken her very own rules all over again.

you swallow, trying to keep your emotions in check. “i didn’t know you cared that much”

jackie meets your gaze, her eyes softening a fraction as she looks at you. “of course i care. you think i’d just let some random player get away with hurting you, especially when it’s been happening all game?”

you stupid heart stirs a little more, but you force yourself to try and push the feeling away. you can’t get lost in this. not now. she said it herself: this is nationals.

“well, thanks,” you say softly “you didn’t have to do that”

jackie’s expression falters for a moment, her lips pulling into a slight pout. “i know i didn’t have to” she looks down at her hands, then back at you. “but i couldn’t just stand there and do nothing…”

a beat of silence passes between you. you both avoid verbalizing the unspoken words hanging in the air. what does this mean? jackie’s gesture feels like it should mean something more.

and, still, you see the way her lips part, the way her chest rises and falls. you both linger in that charged moment, close enough to feel the intensity of the air between you. close enough, even , to feel the warmth of her breath on your face.

it’s just a second -an instant, really- but it feels like it lasts forever. you lean in slightly, jackie kneeling on the floor between your legs. all you can see is the way she’d looked at you that night, lingering above you, pleading you to cum for her. that same girl is in front of you now, just inches away, leaning in to kiss you.

jackie pulls back abruptly, breaking the moment with a quick intake of breath.

the anticipation shatters, vanishes to nothing.

“i’ve been thinking…” she clears her throat and looks away shamefully. your heart drops. “maybe we should just…let it go,”

you blink, confusion creeping up on you. “let it go?”

jackie exhales slowly, rubbing the back of her neck as if trying to find the right words. “yeah. let the…whatever the hell happened between us that night just be…whatever it was” her eyes flicker toward you, still avoiding your gaze. “it was a mistake, you know that. and i don’t want it to mess with the rest of the trip. we’re here to play, not to…complicate things!”

you don’t let your disappointment show. you can’t. you’ve been here before. you know the drill. you’re just a teammate. a friend. and she’s someone else’s girl. she’s jackie taylor. golden girl of wiskayok. team captain of the soon to be national soccer team champions. she’s not yours. she’s not even gay, as she so often reminds you.

you aren’t the same. you can’t just pretend that last night didn’t mean something to you. you still feel the heat of her skin on yours, the way she held you, the way it felt like maybe, just maybe, you were something more than what jackie is suggesting right now.

“yeah. i guess you’re right,” you say, your voice an attempt to sound casual, but your heart’s not in it. if jackie knows you half as much as she will sometimes, when it fits her narrative, claims to, she’ll be able to see right through you. and if she does, she doesn’t let it show.

“friends,” she mutters, as though trying to convince herself as much as you. “it’s the best option. teammates, friends…nothing else. we’re good like this, right?”

you nod, the words stuck in your throat. “yeah,” you finally manage to say, though it feels like a lie. “yeah, we’re good”

you’re not sure how long you’re sitting in the silence of the locker room, jackie’s words replaying in your head. friends. nothing else. jackie, sitting a few feet away, picks at the tape on her shin guards, avoiding your gaze. her jaw is tight, her focus resolutely on the task in front of her like it might keep her thoughts from slipping into dangerous territory.

eventually, the muffled sound of cheers erupts from somewhere outside. you blink, drawn out of your haze. it’s distant, like it’s coming from the stands, and for a moment, both of you freeze.

“did they-“ jackie starts. the door bursts open before she can finish the thought. nat rushes in first, her face flushed with excitement. “we’re going to finals!” she shouts. “we won!”

you are on your feet before the words fully register. her grin is radiant, and despite everything, it tugs at something in you. you can’t help but smile back.

“hell yeah!” jackie shouts, throwing her arms up, momentarily forgetting her red card-induced sidelining. nat is already disappearing back down the hallway, cheering as she leaves, leaving the two of you in the wake of her excitement.

jackie turns to you, her grin faltering for a split second before she catches herself. “guess we’re not going home yet,” she says lightly.

you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat.

the days leading up to the finals are surprisingly… normal. sharing a room with jackie has somehow become easier, the tension between you two settling into something quieter, almost manageable. she’s careful not to cross any lines, and you do your best to pretend that everything is fine. most nights, you fall asleep to the sound of her breathing from the bed beside yours, trying not to think about how much you wish she were closer.

the final game day arrives with a quiet kind of chaos: everyone is jittery, buzzing with a mix of nerves and anticipation. breakfast is loud and hurried, the conversation dominated by what-ifs and strategy talk.

by the time you’re all in the locker room, the energy is electric. the coaches deliver their final pep talks, their words met with nods and murmurs of agreement. jackie’s red card suspension has been lifted, thanks to some technicality that coach martinez fought tooth and nail for, and the relief on her face when she found out was palpable. she’s been in full captain mode ever since, her voice steady and commanding as she rallies the team. it’s the jackie everyone knows, the leader. for a moment, you can almost forget the jackie who whispered your name like a prayer in the dark.

the game itself is brutal.

you’re exhausted by halftime, sweat dripping down your face as you gulp water on the sidelines. jackie, sitting a few feet away, is equally spent but doesn’t show it. she leans forward, her elbows on her knees, her eyes scanning the field.

the second half is even harder: the score remains tied, each team clawing for an edge. jackie is everywhere: pushing past defenders, setting up plays, rallying the team when spirits start to flag.

the clock ticks down, and the tension is unbearable. with less than two minutes to go, jackie gets the ball. she’s at midfield, her path to the goal blocked by only two defenders. for a moment, everything seems to slow down. you can see the determination in her eyes, the way she sets her jaw as she calculates her next move. it’s the same look she’s had at states. right before she scored the winning goal.

then she’s off, cutting through the defense. jackie flakes left, then right, her movements precise. the opponent goalkeeper charges, but she doesn’t falter. instead, she fires the ball toward the net.

it slams right past the girl and into the back of the net.

the final whistle blows. just like that, it’s over. you’ve won.

the others are screaming, hugging, completely overcome with the weight of the victory. you’re champions. national champions.

you stand frozen for a moment, stunned. the chaos swirls around you: van jumping into taissa’s arms, shauna laughing breathlessly, but your gaze cuts right through it, landing on her: jackie is at the center of it all, her face lit up proudly while the other yellowjackets swarm her, pulling her into a mass of celebratory hugs. she’s laughing, elated and beautiful. then her eyes meet yours.

before you can even think, you’re moving, your legs carrying you across the field. jackie breaks away from the group just as you reach her, like she’s been waiting for you all along.

the impact knocks the air out of you when you wrap your arms around her, but you don’t care. her body is warm against yours, still buzzing with the same energy that carried her through the game. you bury your face in her neck, and the scent of sweat, grass, and the faintest trace of her perfume fills your senses. it’s overwhelming. intoxicating in a way that only leaves you clinging to her even harder.

“you did it,” you breathe against her skin. “jackie, you did it!”

when you pull back, your hands linger on her arms, your fingers brushing against her skin. jackie’s eyes are bright, her smile softer now. it’s in that moment, with the roar of the crowd fading into the background and jackie still holding onto you like you’re the only thing keeping her grounded, that you realize it once more:

you’re in love with her, hopelessly so. there’s nothing jackie can say or do that’ll undo what has happened between you. you’ve just won the national championship, and yet the only thing you care about is her. not the victory, not the title, not the way she others pull you in all over again, lifting jackie up over their heads. shauna and tai hoist her onto their shoulders, the team cheering louder as they parade her around like the hero she is. she laughs but even then, as she throws her arms out, her gaze keeps finding yours.

all of it is white noise to you, drowned out by the way your heart aches for her. for jackie, the girl you’ve been in love with all along.

even the plane ride back to wiskayok is still filled with laughter and celebration. the team is crammed into the too-small seats, the aisle filled with chatter, half-shouted stories of the game blending into the hum of the engines. van, a few rows back, holds court with her usual flair, dramatically reenacting jackie’s winning goal. “and then: bam! top corner!” she exclaims, raising her arms like she’s the one scoring the goal all over again.

shauna, seated just ahead of van, rolls her eyes at the performance, but even she can’t fight the small, amused smile tugging at her lips. it’s softer than you’ve seen in weeks, the tension that had been hanging over all of you finally giving way to relief.

jackie sits beside her, her head leaning against the window. she’s been quieter since the game ended, her energy subdued, though she’s smiled for every photo, every cheer, every teammate slinging an arm around her. now, as the plane dips lower, the landscape of new jersey coming into view, she turns to you briefly, her lips curling into a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“you okay?” you hear shauna ask, her voice low. jackie’s attention shifts to her and just like that, the moment is over.

“yeah,” she replies, her voice almost drowned out by another round of laughter from van’s direction.

the plane lands with a jolt, and the team gathers their bags and spills out into the terminal.

van is still recapping highlights to anyone who will listen, gesturing wildly as tai nudges her forward. nat lags behind, whereas misty chatters at an exasperated coach martinez, her bag swinging dangerously close to his knee. everyone still seems too giddy to settle down just yet.

that’s when you spot him: jeff is leaning against a pillar near the baggage claim, his letterman jacket slung over one shoulder. there’s an edge of excitement as his eyes lock onto jackie.

your stomach twists as he steps forward, arms open.

you don’t even need to glance at jackie to know what’s coming, yet you can’t stop yourself. your gaze drifts to her, and the shift in her demeanor is immediate:

it’s like a mask slipping into place, a version of jackie you’ve seen a hundred times before but can’t stand to watch now. she meets him halfway, throwing her arms around his neck as jeff pulls her in for a kiss. it’s too much, too public, too perfect. she’s never been this affectionate with you in front of anyone before and now she’s clinging to him like she can’t bear to let go, her laugh too bright, her smile too wide.

you stand frozen, your bag slipping slightly from your shoulder as you watch jackie kiss him again. you try to tell yourself it doesn’t matter, that it’s all for show. that she’s just playing the part she’s always been told to play. but the way jackie looks at him is enough to shatter whatever fragile hope you’ve been holding onto.

the rest of the team starts to disperse, everyone heading off in their own directions, but you can barely move. jeff drapes his arm around her shoulder as they turn toward the exit, his voice low and teasing as she tilts her head up at him, laughing again, the sound growing fainter as they walk away.

most of the girls are gone by the time you snap out of it. from the corner of your eye, you notice nat still hanging around; she’s leaning against a wall nearby, her duffel bag slung over her shoulder. when your eyes meet, she pushes off of it and walks over.

“need a walk-out?” she asks casually.

you hesitate, then shrug. “sure. why not?”

the two of you walk in silence through the terminal, the automatic doors hissing open as the evening air hits your face. outside, the parking lot is dotted with cars and families, a chaotic mix of reunions and goodbyes. you glance around, half-hoping your parents will already be there so you can get away. no such luck.

nat pulls a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket, tapping one out and holding it between her lips as she flicks her lighter. “you okay?” she asks, breaking the silence. her voice is low, her words unusually measured.

you shrug again, kicking at a loose pebble on the ground. “yeah. why wouldn’t i be?”

nat raises an eyebrow and takes a drag from her cigarette. “because i’m not blind,” she says matter of factly.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

the faintest hint of a smirk tugs at her lips. “just saying…i’ve been paying attention. you and taylor aren’t exactly subtle, you know?”

you face heats up, and you cross your arms, looking away. “we’re just friends,” you mumble, the words -jackie’s words- bitter in your mouth.

nat laughs, shaking her head. “yeah, sure. friends.” she pauses. “look, i’m not gonna give you some big speech or anything, but…i’m sorry. i know it sucks” she flicks the ash from her cigarette, watching the glow of the embers fade in the breeze. “jackie is… jackie,” she continues, her voice quieter now. “she’s always gonna want to be what everyone else needs her to be. you don’t have to do the same”

you blink at her, “what are you saying?”

“i’m saying, let it go. before it messes you up worse than it already has.”

you don’t respond, the words caught in your throat. nat seems to sense it, because she pats your shoulder lightly and steps back. “your parents are here,” she says, nodding toward a car pulling up nearby.

you glance over, and sure enough, your mom is leaning out the driver’s side window, waving you over. when you turn back to nat, she’s already walking away, her bag slung over her shoulder again.

“hey, nat,” you call after her. she stops, glancing back at you with a raised brow. “thanks,” you say, though you’re not entirely sure what you’re thanking her for.

nat nods anyway, a small smile flickering across her face before she turns and disappears.

you sigh, hoisting your bag over your shoulder as you head toward the car.

by the time you get home, the celebration feels like something you imagined instead of lived. your family is thrilled, of course, their pride radiating off them as they shower you with congratulations, asking for every detail about the game and the trophy.

you mumble something about being tired, brushing off their excitement with a weak smile before retreating to your room.

only there, it really hits you.

the frustration, the hurt, the overwhelming ache of wanting something you can’t have. it bubbles up inside you until you can’t hold it in anymore.

you grab your pillow, pressing it to your face, and scream into the fabric. tears burn hot against your cheeks, spilling over as you bury your face deeper into the plush. your shoulders shake with the effort of holding it all in, even though there’s no one around to witness it.

the unfairness of it all claws at you. the way jackie can kiss you like the world starts and ends with you, only to turn around and act like it meant nothing to her. she can smile so effortlessly at jeff, leaning into him like he’s the answer to everything, when you know that he’s not.

you can still feel the ghost of her lips on yours, the touch of her fingers. you still hear her laugh echoing in your ears, but it’s all tainted now, wrapped up in the image of her clinging to him at the airport as if you were never even there.

but the worst part, the part that truly breaks you, is knowing that even if she never chooses you, you’ll never stop waiting for her to.

[bumblesimagines]

that was really fun. we should do it again sometime. are you seeing someone else?

Lottie Matthews

that was really fun. we should do it again sometime.

are you seeing someone else?

Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs, GN!Reader

In the distant, muffled through the wall of the house and the distant sound of music, you could hear Jeff's voice shouting for you. From the way he slurred his words and the lack of Jackie or Shauna joining in his shouts, he'd had too much to drink and the girls had already left, likely ditching him to catch a ride with a fellow Yellowjacket. Jackie would likely make it up to him later and he'd be putty in her hands. Your brother was an incredibly easy guy to win over, especially when it came to girls.

Lottie's quiet panting filled the small game room, drawing your attention away from Jeff and onto the girl as you stepped back and wiped your sleeve over your mouth, admiring your handy work with a small grin. Lottie flushed at your attention, her bangs and soft curls sticking to her sweaty, light red face. Her legs dangled above the ground from her spot on the edge of the pool table, her underwear hanging from her ankle and threatening to slip off onto the wooden floorboards below. She swallowed and tugged at her skirt that'd pooled around her waist when you'd pushed it up but otherwise remained in her spot as she attempted to catch her breath. 

"That was really fun." She breathed out, pushing her hair over her shoulder and offering you a smile. "We should do it again sometime."

"Maybe not." You picked up the famous Yellowjacket's letterman jacket from the floor, setting it beside her and hooking your finger on the strap from her shirt that'd slipped past her shoulder. You pulled it back up and gave her warm arm a friendly squeeze. "Wouldn't want to make this a habit."

"W-Why not? Are you seeing someone else?" She asked, reaching down to pull her underwear up her legs. Hopping down from the pool table, she adjusted her skirt and smoothed out the wrinkles that'd formed, her eyes trained on you as you backed up. You shrugged, turning your head toward the door when Jeff's voice drew closer. 

"Sorry, Lottie. I don't have time for others right now." You told her with a lazy grin, slipping your hands into the pockets of your jacket and making your way toward the door. You took a peek at her over your shoulder and chuckled at her pouty face. "Good luck at Nationals, though!"

[simpjackie]

Modern Yellowjackets SMAU!!!

Sooo I will do it! Im sorry for delaying it a little. You can decide who you want it to be about!

[mvlders222]

𝐦𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐩𝐢𝐧

based off of the jeff buckley song with the same name

pairing ; lottie matthews x fem!reader

wordcount ; 1.2k

summary ; your life, as well as the other girls', was slowly declining with every moment you spend out in the wilderness. however, the sanity of a specific girl may slowly be slipping, and you might be the one paying the price.

warnings ; mention of lottie's meds, cursing, no use of y/n, lottie being a borderline creep (let me know if i missed anything!)

Lottie had woken up quite a while ago. The cold weather outside had taken over her senses completely. Although she’s almost convinced this was the reason for her conscious state, she can’t ignore the gnawing feeling that comes as she watches over you.

It’s been months since the crash, and winter is already coming to a start. Lives had been long lost, left to the wilderness. Amidst this personal hell, everyone had been searching for ways to survive and cope.

Throughout this prolonged time together, Lottie’s new and personal interest had become you.

It seemed impossible that everyone had collectively fallen asleep, but since everyone’s last meal consisted of murky water and Jackie’s belt, the lack of nutrients had prevailed throughout everyone’s days.

Over the months, Lottie’s prescription had run dry. The attention toward her medication had slowly shifted onto you.

Which is where she was now, sitting up with her arms around her knees, squeezing as tight as possible. Lottie was careful not to move an inch or even breathe too loud, fearing she might wake you from your slumber.

As she looked at you, her eyes searched for any movement whether that be from your body or face. She wondered what you were dreaming about. She had given you her blanket to keep you warm, not needing it herself.

Lottie was afraid for you, more than others. You had become such a relic within her mind that she wanted to protect you, and if that meant giving you the clothes off of her back, then so be it. Nevertheless, she fears your body will never be safe from harm.

“Lottie,” you whisper.

The girl’s eyes widen at the sound of your voice, knowing she had been caught. Now broken out of her trance, she quickly lies down on her side to try and confuse you. She wanted to manipulate your mind into maybe believing it had been a dream. She faces away from you like she had been when she had first fallen asleep next to you.

Not exactly fooled by her ploy, you bring an arm up and push your hand into her shoulder blade to get her attention. “Lottie?”

She turns around to face you. As she moves, she becomes closer to you. Just close enough to have her black ribbons of long hair cover her face and gently caress yours. The soft, feathery sensation that touches your skin keeps you warm. Or is that the extra blanket pulled to just above your shoulder?

You keep your voice soft, whispering, “I think this is yours.” You push the blanket off of your body and begin to cover the girl in front of you. Lottie stops you, however, grabbing your wrist before you can tear the fabric away from yourself.

“No.” Lottie stares deeply into your eyes, assuring you she doesn’t need it. “It’s for you.”

“Lottie-” The girl in question cuts you off before your words can get to her. She hushes you, softly placing her hand over your mouth to muffle any noises that might wake the others. The warmth from her hand only proved her point. She pulls her hand away, and you realize the blankets aren’t enough to keep you warm.

Lottie keeps her voice lowered to not wake the smallest rodent that might be nearby. “I want you,” she says. “No, I need you.” Her innocent doe eyes look further into yours, putting you under her spell.

She reaches up and grabs your shoulder with her own, gloved hand. She pulls herself closer to you, scooting her frame impossibly closer to yours. You lose all control you once had over your body, feeling Lottie maneuver herself to fit beside you. “Keep me warm,” she mumbles.

You blushed scarlet in return. The proximity between the two of you was close enough to hear each other’s hearts. Or maybe just the sound of your heart is so loud that it clouds your sense of hearing.

Her hand, once on your shoulder, slides up your neck and gently holds the side of your face. “You’re so soft, precious.” She runs her thumb along your cold cheek. The contrast between the warmth she carried in her hand and your cold-to-the-touch skin left you with goosebumps. Despite your exterior complexation, your insides were practically on fire.

“We really shouldn’t, Lot.” You tried to reason with her, but she just stared back at you with a serious expression on her face.

“Why? The others?” She quickly cut you off, scooting impossibly closer to you. “We’re just keeping each other warm.”

“You know that’s not what it is,” you said, tone becoming firmer. “I don’t think we should be doing this right now.”

Lottie bites her tongue, holding back the first words that come to her mind. ‘Don’t be stupid.’ Instead, she chooses the more mindless option.

With a lingering hand still positioned on the side of your face, now warm, Lottie pulls your face to hers. The couple of inches that were once between you now dissipate, and your lips meet in a hurried movement. At that moment, your surroundings went silent.

You pull back suddenly, jaw clenched, you don’t dare say a word. In return, Lottie’s eyes dart all around your face. She struggles to keep her composure, deathly afraid of having done something wrong.

You kissed her again desperately. At this point, you weren’t even sure what you were doing. You brought your hands up to cradle her face like she had yours, keeping her from pulling away. She used her hand to kneed at the skin of your face, her palm fitting perfectly.

You pull back once more, eyes closed, afraid to meet her gaze.”Don’t–” Your voice breaks. “Don’t do this to me, Lot…”

“What?” She whispered. However small her tone, you could still hear the bite in it.

You choked back tears, “I can’t–” You attempt to fight the sudden wash of emotion over you. “I won’t cry over you. Not again,” you mumble. “But you just… can’t do this to me. After fucking ignoring me for years? We’re on the same fucking team, Lottie.”

Lottie shook her head in response, ducking her head ever so slightly in an attempt to grab your attention. “No, god, no. I wasn’t… thinking right. Please, dear, I need you.” She cemented her words, “I need you.”

“Oh, Lottie.” Your voice shook, and your face transformed into a wrinkled, worried mess. Lottie showed her concern and pulled you toward her, embracing your shivering frame. She kissed the side of your face and the side of your head simultaneously, trying to calm your anxiety.

You didn’t know what was going to happen tomorrow, or the next week, or even the next month. But in that moment, you didn’t feel anything but love for the girl whose arms held you. Whose arms loved you.

[angeluvvs]

write a jackie fan fic where reader is jealous of how close she is with shauna

𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴: graceland too by phoebe bridges

a/n: eek! i was a little nervous on how to start this, but i had so much fun writing it! thank you sm for requesting! @cafekitsune for the dividers!

content: mutual pining, oblivious reader, kissing, a bit of flirting, jealously (duh).

absolute sweetheart / jackie taylor

from the very beginning, all you could remember is that it was jackie and shauna. shauna and jackie. oh, and there was somebody else; what was her name? right, you!

class? shauna took your seat next to jackie. soccer practice? shauna was there. sleepover with jackie? surprise! she invited shauna and is going to keep you up all night with their giggling.

it seemed like the only person who was unaware of how close the two were is jackie. and it pissed you off to no end.

so, sitting on her poofy bed, sheets circling your thighs as you fiddled with them between your fingers, watching her help shauna get ready for a party? you were fuming. every small touch, compliment, every lingering glance they shared, made you want to dig your eyes out with spoons.

"are you ready to go?" her angelic voice asked from across the room, stuck in a smile you just knew shauna put there. that single thought was enough to propel you to a standing position, nodding your head up and down frantically. anything to get out of this stuffy room.

"shit, let me grab my jacket." shauna muttered, giving jackie a swift goodbye before leaving the room. it felt like a weightlessness entered your body the minute she was gone. and god, was it good to finally look at jackie fully now. she was wearing some short dress, flowers printed over the navy blue satin. she looked like an angel. and especially in this light, you felt like you had a chance.

you felt like you weren't the only one drowning in conflicting feelings, bobbing up for air anytime you thought it was safe.

"you look pretty." you find yourself saying, hands clutching around the bracelet she gave you. absolute sweetheart. "really pretty."

she lets out a giggle that sounds so sweetly in tune with every other part of her. jackie taylor was a mythic princess, and you have got to kiss that smile off her face.

"are you kidding me? look at you." she cooed, walking over to you and running her fingers over the edge of your dress, tugging on the ends. "i told you this would look gorgeous on you."

and suddenly you were a puddle. your face felt so hot it was driving you insane. you were so close, you could just reach out and--

"okay, which jacket would look better?" shauna's annoying voice interrupted, immediately whisking jackie away from you. this was going to be a long night.

later in the night, you were leaning against the back of jeff's truck, praying to whatever lord that was listening that jackie wouldn't show up with shauna. and suddenly, like you had summoned her yourself, she was there, right in front of you. staring at you with that adorable grin that never left her face.

you smiled, wringing your hands together nervously. "you ready to go?" you asked, offering a hand out to drag her to the car.

she grabbed it, staring up at you fondly. there was just something in her eyes, something glimmering and soft. she looked absolutely stunning, each and every small light reflecting the glow she held inside perfectly. you were too zoned out focusing on the swishing curls of her hair that you didn't notice she let out a soft, "mhm."

"you okay, taylor?" you asked after a prolonged staring session. and while you weren't complaining, it was starting to get a bit overwhelming to see the statuesque girl about 3 feet from you and knowing you couldn't kiss her.

and like clockwork, she leaned in, her smile widening as she opened her mouth to tease you. "peachy keen." she glanced down at your hand, fighting back a snort. "also, you're sweating."

and before you could even think to pull away, she pressed her lips to yours. and oh my god, heaven was opening right in front of you. she tasted sweet, but not a sickly sweet, more like a warm sunlit glow over beige sheets in the morning. she tasted like a sunrise, like diving into a lake and feeling the warm water flood over your skin.

you continued to hold her hand awkwardly, until she guided your hand to her shoulder, the other being bold enough to lace around her waist. her body collided with yours and you could practically feel the nervous thrumming releasing from her own heart.

her hand winded around the bracelet she gave you, her thumb pressing against your pulse under the embroiled string. the moment felt perfect, something straight out of a love story you thought you'd never get.

but, all good things must end, and the need for oxygen became too persistent to ignore. you pulled apart from each other, hands shaky and breathing filled with pants.

"will you room with me?" you suddenly blurted out, your mind racing faster than a bullet train.

"sorry?" jackie asked, her head tilted at the cutest angle that just made you want to give up on speaking all together and just go back to taking her breath away.

you cleared your throat, messing with the bracelet again before murmuring. "at the hotel, when we get to nationals." you explained, watching that familiar smile pull over her soft lips. and finally, you could say with full confidence that they were soft.

"you trying to get me alone, lovergirl?" she teased, not even letting you respond before nodding, pressing her lips to yours once more and whispering. "obviously."

you didn't know much about the world, or anything really. but the one thing you did know, is that is nobody knew who you were but jackie taylor, the you were okay with that. and if she chose shauna to be her best friend, then you had it a million times better being her girlfriend.

have a great day, great night, or a great life. <3

[eightstarr]

i know — van palmer.

summary: you can't remember a life before van, but there was one. there must've been one. it feels ridiculous to think about. you'd rather think about her, rather think about this— two moments then, and two moments now (and so, so many to come).

notes: heyyy i know i said i would post this like a month ago, i fully forgot!! if there was like one person waiting i'm sorry and i love you sm <3 also this ignores the plot entirely and i wanna make that very clear just in case!! it's like a nothing happened and we're all okay au! anyway here's to my loser girl and to whoever also finds themselves staring at the wall in silence thinking about her :)

・。.・゜✧・. ────

THEN.

"You're hogging the blanket," Jackie mutters over a mouthful of popcorn, purple polished nails tugging at the soft fabric.

She's right— you are. "I'm not," you say, and bring your legs close to your chest partly so they can offer some kind of comfort, but mostly so they're not touching the unknown dangers of the floor anymore.

The TV flashes red and Jackie's living room is bathed in it, along with all your faces.

Shauna snorts at a man getting brutally and very unrealistically decapitated on the screen and pulls her own blanket closer to her best friend before she even has to ask. They do that a lot; talk without words. Any other time you would've noticed, thought that's cute and smiled to yourself, but right now you're too terrified.

The movie is bad. Or, that's what you have to keep reminding yourself of. It's lazy in a way that's bordering on comical and needlessly violent in a way that proves that it was written by a man with interesting fantasies. You shouldn't be scared, but you are.

Another death earns you a few minutes of quiet, though you know the build up to the next one will be worse. The characters cry and fret over the dead body of their friend but the killer is nowhere to be seen, disappearing conveniently into the night. You're granted a scene of daylight but the sun comes and goes, and then the screen turns to dark violets and blues again and you're tensing up in your seat.

It's fine, at first— the pretty blonde girl is yielding a kitchen knife and walking around while her muscled boyfriend boards up the windows of the big house. Lottie shifts where she's sitting on the floor next to Laura Lee's legs and whispers about why they would lock themselves in instead of taking their chances outside, which is 'obviously the smartest thing to do'. You don't have time to process what she's saying because suddenly an ax is clawing its way through one of the windows and the characters are screaming and, well, so are you.

"Fuck!" You curse, jumping and landing yourself halfway into Van's lap, the softness of her thighs under your own, your back against her chest.

Van blinks, more startled by your reaction than the scene itself, her hands coming up to steady you and then immediately dropping back down a second after they brush over the cotton of your shirt. She lets out a shaky breath and does not think about how good your weight feels on top of her, because that would be a bad thought, a questionable thought. And it should not have been the first one to pop into her mind. Definitely not. That would be embarrassing. That would be bad.

You cover your eyes with one hand as the sounds of screaming come to a crescendo and hold one of her hands tightly with the other, mumbling sorry, sorry, sorry as if you're doing something wrong. As if you don't know that, even if you were, Van is incapable of being mad at you. Famously so. Everybody knows.

She looks around the room to the rest of the girls. No one is staring, too busy chewing popcorn and wrinkling their noses at the more gruesome special effects. Van turns her head back to you. A million thoughts rush in, overwhelming and unforgiving. Something about the soft tint of chapstick on your lips, the curve of your nose, the shape of your fingers. Things she's noticed before -Van is often greedy of all your details-, but not in this way, never from this close. She can smell your shampoo from here. Somewhere in the back of her mind, over the scent of honey and strawberries, she wonders if she's going insane.

Your body noticeably relaxes as the violence dissipates, your grasp on her hand loosening slightly. When you uncover your eyes, the final girl is clawing her way through the woods. You're unsure of how she got out of the house, but too comforted by the thought of the movie finally coming to an end to care.

Van is scared to say anything, scared to move— if she does, you might push yourself off of her, ignore her for the rest of the night because you're embarrassed. The thought is ridiculous. You'd never ignore her, you're not that kind of person, but it's what she would do. Except she'd probably never be in this position in the first place, because she'd never be brave enough to throw herself on your lap, even if she was as scared as you were. And that's just it anyway, it's not like you chose to do this. You didn't pick her. You would've found the same comfort in anyone's arms. Right? Van feels you shift closer, just slightly, like you're unaware of it. Right?

Her forehead falls on your shoulder as she thinks herself sick.

"It's scary, right?" You whisper, confusing her crisis for fear. Your fingers wrap around her bicep, soft and absentminded when they brush up and down her skin, trying to make her feel better.

Van feels her stomach flip, her hands twitch. In another world, she would wrap her arms around your waist and press her lips to your ear, mumble something stupid like if you say so, baby just to annoy you. Here, though, all she does is nod her head. She whispers back, "Yeah, it is."

She looks up at the screen, tries to be scared, to be invested. You relax further into her, personal and comfortable as if there's no one in the room but the two of you. Van blinks. She can't give you the name of the girl on the screen. A minute passes and your back straightens suddenly, but you don't rush to slide off her lap. You do it carefully, not because you want to but because you're worried about making her uncomfortable. Van wants to pull you back but she's never faced anything as daunting. She comforts herself with the thought that one day she will, a hungry attempt at manifesting or breaking a mental wishbone or something. For now, she follows you with her eyes and feels her anxiety melt away when you notice her staring and give her a smile. The movie's not yet over. She looks back. Who's the bad guy again?

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

NOW.

Van likes to pretend that she's a better cook than she is. Someone else might find it funny, annoying even, but you can't find it anything but cute. You love telling her that you've run out of food and watch her scoff and puff up her chest.

"I'll make you something out of nothing," she'll say. Then she'll open the fridge and bend at the waist, stare at said nothing for a solid two minutes before resurfacing and declaring that she's craving pizza from the place down the street, anyway, so there's no point in cooking.

At the grocery store the next day, you make sure to buy the essentials for the one pasta recipe that she does actually know how to make. Van likes to feel useful. And you like to indulge her every need, maybe a little too much.

You pick the sweetest looking tomatoes for the sauce, no real expertise behind your method— you're not exactly an amazing chef, either, but the two of you do just fine. Someone calls your name in the middle of bagging the last tomato and you turn to meet a face you had almost forgotten about.

"Katie Lopez?" Van asks again, staring at the folded piece of paper with the almost-stranger's number that you'd gotten without asking (a friendly gesture, you're pretty sure) after a slightly lengthy conversation that carried on even after your multiple anyway, I should probably get going's.

You're telling Van about the encounter while washing the tomatoes in the sink, sleeves rolled up. Your cheeks are warm with kisses like they always are when you make it back to her, as if she wants to reward you for it. You've been hers for so long, and she's still amazed at the fact that you come home to her. "Yes," you repeat. "Why is that so shocking?"

"It's not," she says, flicking the paper where it sits on the counter, kinder than her original need to ball it up or light it on fire or something even more dramatic. She moves to open the cabinet and starts putting away the canned goods you've brought. "I just didn't know you guys were close."

"We're not. She was just being polite."

Van hums. For a moment you think she'll let it go, but of course she won't. She doesn't like the thought of someone flirting with you when she's not there and she especially doesn't like the thought of that someone being Katie fucking Lopez, who's most memorable for fingering girls in the bathroom for most of your shared high school experience.

Van clears her throat and the cabinet closes with a thud louder than she intended, definitely not because she was caught up picturing you under Katie's gaze. She means to sound casual, but she's not trying very hard when she asks, "She ever try to get with you?"

You spare her a single glance, as if to check that she's serious. Of course she is. "What, in high school?" You shake your head, chuckling like the idea is funny. "No. She was more into the cheerleader type."

Van knows that you're right. Still, she squints her eyes at you, ginger hair leaning to one side when she tilts her head. "Is that a hint of resentment that I'm hearing?"

You've gotten good at knowing how to handle her jealousy. It's only fair, considering that she's gotten good at handling yours. Neither are ever that serious. "I was making a neutral observation."

You know she's creeping closer before you feel it. You know her too well. "Yeah?" She mutters, her hands on your hips as she presses herself to your back. Her nose is familiarly cold where it brushes against your neck.

You dry your hands and lean back on instinct, and she doesn't flinch at the added feeling of your weight. Van can be a lot like a brick wall, but you don't usually tell her that, unless you're feeling extra sweet and want her to grin like a cocky little shit for the rest of the day. "You were into that type, too."

Van scoffs, a soft gust of air on your neck. "I was into you," she says.

You hum, purely fucking with her. "Maybe."

"May— what the fuck are you talking about?" She pulls away just enough to prove that she's actually offended. And she is, because the idea is ludicrous and yeah, she's taking it personally. You can question Van about anything you want, except for the fact that she's been in love with you for more than half of her life. "When did you ever see me looking at cheerleaders?" She asks.

You and Van work for a lot of reasons. You work because you're different where it matters, enough to balance each other out, and you work because you're the same in everything else. You might've been just teasing her at first, but now the thought does that stupid thing where it starts to linger and -just like she had thought about you and Katie- you can almost picture it in your head, a younger Van standing on the soccer field, her eyes trailing over a girl's short uniform skirt. You roll your eyes, annoyed mostly at yourself. "Oh, don't act like you wouldn't have loved for them to shout your stupid name."

Van chuckles. She can read your train of thought like a book. She knows you too well. "Stupid name, huh? You're cute when you're jealous." And a little mean, too, but in a way that makes her weak in the knees. She won't be telling you that part. You already know, anyway.

You pull the hands that are wrapped around your waist away from you. Van lets you— she wants to see where this is going. "Not jealous," you mutter.

"No?" She teases, half-heartedly disappointed when you don't turn around to let her kiss you.

You look at her over your shoulder and then make eye contact with the piece of paper on the counter, recalling the words of your old classmate. Call me whenever. We should totally hang out. You're too old to be telling people you should 'totally hang out', but Katie Lopez hasn't changed much from the last time you saw her. You hold back the urge to wrinkle your nose at the memory of that same teenager-trying-to-be-cool smirk that she gave you throughout the whole interaction and hum thoughtfully, like you've been tempted. "Maybe I will call her—" you take one step towards the counter in a half assed attempt to reach for the paper but Van is unusually quick as she strides forward and takes it in her hands, tongue poking into the inside of her cheek as she rips it in two. "Van!" You gasp.

"What? Don't tell me you were actually gonna use it," she pouts. "You're breaking my heart, baby."

You try to take the two pieces away from her and all you earn is her breaking it in four, holding it above your head. You're laughing as you slap her shoulder. "God, you're so stupid."

Van raises her eyebrows, mismatched numbers wrinkled in her hand. She drops them on the counter in favor of cupping your face, pressing a contained short peck to your lips. Don't feel bad, she won't hold back for long. "Stupid like my name?"

"I love your name," you shake your head, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love it. Just as long as it's mine to say."

It is yours, but you know that already.

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

THEN.

Van's room smells like the incense you got her. You wonder if she used it just to appease you because she knew you were coming, but it's a silly thought. Van likes you. You know this now. She takes everything you give her (your time, your smiles, your kisses) like it's a precious gift, so you can't imagine that she would neglect an actual gift.

Your grandmother said you should light the incense before a game, to bring you good luck and calm your nerves, and you're not ashamed to admit that you bought Van her own pack the very next day. Everything makes you think about her lately, especially this kind of thing. You're not even sure that the incense works, but why wouldn't you share it with her? She deserves all of it— good luck, a stomach free of nerves, at the very least a nice lingering scent if your grandma's beliefs turn out to be a myth. But you hope they don't.

Your girlfriend is anxious more often than you are, but never really about a game. Van knows that she's good at soccer. She's nervous about other things. Keeping her side of the house clean, being able to afford Sinéad O'Connor tickets, what her mom's mood will be like tomorrow, English assignments but only because she thinks the professor is the coolest guy alive and she wants to impress him even if she won't admit it. And lately, there's another thing. She worries about whether you'll look at her one day and realize that you're too good for her.

You know about some of her anxieties, but clearly not all of them. She can picture your reaction if she were to share the last one with you, how your face would scrunch up and you'd look at her with eyes so loving and so sad. She can almost hear you ask, soft and patient, why would you think that? And she wouldn't know what to say. There's comfort in the fact that the worry is there, but it's not constant. Van only worries about that when you're gone. When you're in front of her, or sitting next to her in class, or talking to her on the phone, it's hard to imagine that you'll ever stop liking her. She takes in your smile, your laughter, your sparkling eyes and she can't think about anything else. You make all of it go away. If you asked her, she would tell you that she thinks the incense works, but only because it came from you.

She can smell it faintly from where she is now, but there are a hundred other things overwhelming her more— the feeling of your legs on either side of her, the sound of your bracelets clinking together when you move your arms to rest them next to her head and cage her in, the sight of you leaning in to kiss her. It's easy to say, she's only been dating you for three months, but Van is sure that she will never get tired of this.

She hums against your lips, something too close to a moan. Her cheeks are red when you pull away, and you're not sure if it was the sound she made or the regretful, kind of embarrassing thing she has to tell you that gave her that reaction. "My mom will be home in, like, five minutes," she says, raspy and breathy.

Her voice distracts you. Your lips are tingling. "Okay," you say, nodding your head even though it takes you another three seconds to actually process what she said.

This is where you sit up, break apart. Neither of you move.

You smile and lean back down to kiss her again, stomach fluttering from the sound of her giggling as you tilt your head back. How are you supposed to stop when she's so fucking— so cute, so handsome, so in love with you. You've never felt so secure of another person's feelings for you before, but it's impossible to doubt Van. She makes you confident, makes sure that you know at all times. Might as well be saying I love you, I love you, I love you between each kiss that she pulls you back into.

It takes everything in you to break away from her, but you have to. "Fuck, okay. I gotta go," you mutter. You have to. You'll see her tomorrow. It should be embarrassing how greedy she makes you.

She watches as you sit up on her lap, your skirt bunched up over the crotch of her jeans. You must notice her looking, because you're laughing like you can read her mind when she huffs and covers her face with her arms, her lips pursed as she suppresses an even more embarrassing sound than the one she made before.

"I'll see you tomorrow," you insist, like saying it outloud will make leaving easier. You stand up and brush your hands over your hair, flattening the flyaways. Then you grab your backpack from the floor (don't think about the pretty pin she got you a few days ago, because it'll make you want to kiss her again) and walk over to her window.

You could take your chances with the front door, but you don't want to. Van was afraid that her neighbors would see you and innocently mention it to her mom, say something like oh, I saw that Vanessa's friend came by the other day. Van wishes it could be left at that, but her mom is rarely that simple. She looked so worried as she told you about it, so ashamed. You kissed her cheek and promised yourself you'd get good at climbing.

She comes closer as you climb to the other side, getting your footing on the familiar edge of the wall, and she hisses when you let go of the window railing to reach over and cup her face. You don't have to pull for her to bend down and let you kiss her, your thumbs brushing over her cheeks.

"Please don't fall," she's saying as you make your way down.

You look up at her and smile, and Van thinks you're so pretty that she misses the mischievousness behind it. "Have a little faith in me— oh, fuck!"

Van flinches, bumping her head on the window with how quick she moves to look down at you. The sound of your laughter makes her realize your hands never left their safe grip. Her shoulders relax. "Oh my God, fuck you," she scoffs, though she's too relieved for it to have any real bite.

"What were you even gonna do?" You ask, still giggling.

She shrugs, eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know, fucking— grab you or something."

"Your arms are too short to reach me from up there."

"I take offense to that."

"Well, I'm sorry," you sigh, tilting your head. "Doesn't make it any less true."

"I better not hear you asking for my short arms to carry you after practice tomorrow," Van huffs, said arms now crossed over her chest.

You look up at her in disbelief, raising your eyebrows. "I have literally never asked you for that, you always offer."

She shifts slightly where she stands, moves her weight from one leg to the other, caught. "Because I can do it," she mutters.

"Yes, I know. You're very strong, baby."

Van rolls her eyes, choosing to believe that you're teasing her because if she believes that you're being genuine she might die.

Your feet hit the ground with a thud. You do a silly curtsy, as if to say ta-da! and Van thinks you're so cute she's certain that she'll die. You give her one last grin and blow her a kiss before sneaking away from her house into the night.

Van goes to bed with her cheeks aching from smiling, her bed smelling of your perfume, and the faint sound of her brain screaming (terrified, celebrating) you are fucked!

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

NOW.

"I wish I'd asked you to prom," your voice is muffled by her sweatshirt, lips partly pressed against her shoulder.

Van snorts, looking down at you. "What?"

"You never went," you explain, and you have that look on your face, like you've been thinking about this for weeks. Like you could cry. Van presses pause on the (admittedly) shitty action film she'd chosen and lets you try to get your thoughts out. "I really wanted you there. You would've liked it."

She lets out a sigh through her nose, a hand coming to rest against your cheek. "I really don't know if that's true, honey," she says honestly.

You straighten your back a little, a tiny frown on your face like you get when you've been challenged. "You would've liked it. You love to dance and the DJ was, like, surprisingly good. And Ms. Dawson actually said yes to a dance with Peter K., even though that was highly inappropriate now that I think about it. But it was funny at the time— and Natalie snuck in a bottle of vodka."

"Yeah?" She asks, awfully endeared even when she's heard the story a million times before. You'd told her all about it the day after prom, your voice groggy and sleepy over the phone. She had felt lame about having missed it, but a thousand times better as soon as she picked up the phone, giggling in her bed like a fool at every detail you gave her.

You wrap your fingers around the hand on your cheek, press a kiss against her palm. "You would've loved it," you say, sounding somehow more convinced than before. "I should've asked you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I was a dick," you insist. "I was a coward—"

"Hey, no. No," Van sits up from her lazy posture, two thin wrinkles between her eyebrows when she frowns. They look good on her. You remember when they weren't there, and it always makes you a little emotional. "Don't say that. You weren't."

"But I was," you try to reason, stubborn to a fault. "I'm not, like, condemning myself. I'm stating a fact."

Her frown deepens. "Well, I don't like it. And I don't think it's a fact."

You didn't mean for this to turn into an argument, but you're not exactly thinking about that at the moment. It happens— you've let the thought saturate in your brain for too long and now you're stuck thinking that you're right. "Why are you arguing with me right now?" You ask, not being petty but genuinely wanting to know.

Van huffs a frustrated breath. "Because I thought about asking you to prom for years, okay?" She says, crawling with embarrassment. "I told myself I would over and over again and then I fucking didn't. If you were a coward, what does that make me?"

You pause, guilt swirling in your stomach because you realize all at once that you've been poking on a tender bruise you didn't even know existed. "Van," you say softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She sighs, almost a chuckle. She can be so mean to herself, so condescending about her own feelings. You know she's not laughing at you, or disregarding you in any way— it's just what she does when she feels like she's humiliated herself. Especially when you're there to watch, looking at her so kindly when she's certain she deserves none of it. "Yeah, well. That was intentional," she mutters.

You let her look away from you for a moment before you push yourself onto your knees, placing one on each side of her hips. She welcomes you like she always does when you come to sit on her lap now, her hands on your waist and her face falling forward to press kisses over your collarbone. A thoughtless motion, automatic.

"Sweet girl," you hum, guiding her head up with a careful hand, smiling when you meet her eyes. "We should've gone out dancing alone. Would've been way more fun."

Van breathes out a laugh. She wonders if she'll cry, and feels like she could. "Yeah," she agrees.

"I would've said yes, you know. I'm not blaming you for not asking me, I get why you didn't. I really do. But it's important to me that you know that." You brush a strand of hair behind her ear. It's pretty, and getting long. In no time she'll be asking you to wash it over the sink and trim it with your fancy hair scissors, like you've been doing since you got back together when you were twenty five after a stupid argument that led to a two years long break. It wasn't a good time for either of you, but you don't regret it. You have the rest of your life to live with her. Still, there will always be things like this— arguments about deep buried shame, fears that might never go away, moments you missed that other high school sweethearts didn't because their worries weren't like yours. It's sad, but not inescapable all the time. You and Van don't blame each other for any of it. But sometimes you need to be reminded of that.

"I know," she nods, her voice in that soft, quiet tone that you love but rarely get with how passionate she is. It's not a hardship, you love that just as much. "I think maybe that's why— why I was so freaked out. Like, if you said yes, it would become real."

You nod and chuckle a little, sweet and airy. "And you'd have to actually start to date me? Yeah, I would be scared," you joke.

Van buries her face in your chest with a groan. "That's all I fucking wanted," she says, feeling too honest to play along like she usually would.

You let her stay there for a while, her nose brushing against the rise and fall of your chest. Wanna be here forever, she'd told you once, with cold fingers sneaking under your shirt, more than a little drunk. You have been making fun of her about it for ages, but it tugs at something different today. It makes you pull her softly with a hand on the back of her neck, just enough to press your lips against hers, not wanting to deny her any of your warmth that she might crave.

Van hums against your lips, moving where you want her when your hands guide her own from your waist down to your hips. You press your chest against hers like you know she likes and she moans into your mouth, a hand moving to press against your back and force you closer.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you," you mumble when she lets you pull apart, speaking close to her ear as you kiss her cheek, lips soft over old acne scars and sunspots.

Van shakes her head. "I don't care," she promises, smiling like she does when she's about to say something corny. "Look at me now," she shrugs, fake humble. "I got the girl in the end."

You laugh against her smirk and kiss her until she's lifting your hips and pushing you down on the couch, your back against the worn pillows, a hand on the back of your head in case you bump it on the arm rest. You like when she moves you around just to show off, reminds you of when you were younger and she'd flex her muscles just because she knew you were looking. She might not be the same type of strong now, but she can still pull out some tricks when she wants to. And with you, Van often wants to.

She tilts her head back when you try to pull her in for another kiss, sighing as she gets comfortable on top of you. She almost gives up the act when you pout at her, blinking your pretty eyes, but instead she leans her weight on one hand next to your head and says, "That is, of course, if she doesn't leave me for Katie Lopez's magic fingers."

Van expects you to roll your eyes, slap her shoulder so she can say ouch! and dramatically rest her hand over the wounded spot. Instead, you slide your hand over hers where it's resting against your hip, intertwining your fingers together and smiling pretty, tilting your head. "Mmh, but I have the best fingers right here."

Van scoffs, playing amused rather than speechless because she's trying not to show you how much your words get to her. It's embarrassing how proud it makes her, how quickly she melts into the palm of your hand when you as much as imply that she's good at something, that you would pick her over everyone else, that you want her like she wants you. Praise from others makes her smile and say thank you, but praise from you reaches her core, makes her dizzy. Her lips feel dry and her tongue pokes out absentmindedly to lick them as you guide her hand up. Van barely registers the movement, too busy watching your face— how beautiful that she gets to see it all the time now, that she knows all the details like you know hers.

Her fingertips come to rest against your lips and her breath stutters as she tries desperately to maintain any sense of coolness or dignity or fucking something while you kiss each one, soft and attentive. She's thinking, is she insane for finding it as thrilling as she does, even after all these years? Do you know what you do to her? You can't possibly know, Van almost decides, but then you part your lips to slide two of her fingers into your mouth and she thinks that you do. You definitely know.

"F—fuck," she breathes out, and tries to remember her original plan to tease you but can't recall your old classmate's name. "You trying to butter me up?" She asks, her chuckle trembling but deep, from the back of her throat.

Her fingers slip from your mouth with a soft pop, and Van groans. You hum, "Is it working?"

You're mean, evil. You're the sweetest thing she's ever seen. Two things can be true at once. You're a dream, and you're not like this for anyone else. The thought echoes through her skull, warm and infectious. Van smirks. "Yeah."