#nah. gIANT FUCKIN DRAGON

[mcalhenwrites]

The Dragons' Cosmos - excerpt from chapter one

(tumblr doesn't like when I try to post the full thing, but this is from The Dragons' Cosmos, Part I: The summer of Seventeen, chapter one) Beneath the giant oaks of their suburban back yards, two teenagers relaxed shoulder to shoulder while stretched across a picnic blanket. The summer stars shimmered in the sky like blossoms of wood anemones on a forest floor. Roscoe swatted at a mosquito on his thigh and rubbed the remains on his cutoff shorts. Beside him, Noah yawned. Roscoe had crept out of the house while his father, Wayne, snored away. The pair hide beneath the shadow of the trees in Noah’s backyard to avoid the slim chance of being seen from one of the second floor windows, should Wayne bother to look outside for any reason. Their private location meant they saw less stars through the limbs and leaves above. Roscoe didn’t mind. He spent most of the evening killing pesky bugs or staring at Noah. Even in the dim illumination carried over from the back porch light, Roscoe could make out the contours of Noah’s smiling lips, the shine in his delighted eyes. Roscoe wanted to kiss him. Not that they had done that yet. Nor anything like it. They skittishly held hands sometimes, too scared to cross further into unknown territory. “Wonder what it’s like up there.” Noah twirled one finger through the sky, knitting the stars together. “Cold. Big. Lots of metal bits floating around. Maybe a dragon or two?” Noah’s suppressed giggles came out in little snorts. “You think they’d come that close to us?” “Nah. We’re nothing.” Noah shifted onto his side. His elbow made a tiny crater in the fabric of their shared blanket. “Not to me.” Roscoe held his fingers to his mouth and nose to stifle a laugh. His other hand gently batted at his boyfriend’s chest. “Shut up. That was fuckin’ cheesy.” Their mirth won over caution, and to muffle the sound of their laughter, they pressed against one another, foreheads to shoulders. Roscoe gripped the fabric of Noah’s tank in one fist. “Damnit,” he murmured affectionately. “Stop making me laugh. We’ll wake my dad.” “Nothing wakes him once he’s out.” “Thank the fucking dragons for that.” “Sorry.” Noah captured Roscoe’s cheeks in his gentle palms and titled his face upward. In one quick brush of lips against lips, the kiss Roscoe had ached for earlier was gifted.

[ducknotinarow]

[03/7 Rasey uwu]

"Pft, me, scared of yer?" Casey asks with a laugh, "Nah, never, yer more like a giant Teddy bear if anythin' Raph."

| Muse interaction

The lights in the parking lot clearly were old from how the bulbs buzzed and the lights would dim here and there. Outside the small convince store. Casey's bike was the only vehicle parked in the nearly empty lot outside some beat up car that belonged to the lone soul working in the store. As Raph was resting on bumper block, slightly look up at Casey who was rest back against his own bike well they were laughing. From where he sat he could easily just take in how Casey laughed. How it stiffled at first till it needed to be let out and free into the air. How it got the corners of his own beak to tug up when he listened to it, how it took over the quite darkness in the mostly empty lot.

Raphael's favorites sounds were all linked to one man it seemed anymore. Before he would say the sound of his shellcycle was his favorite. But now? The sounds of sports equipment knocking around in a duffel bag. wood and metal from the various selection rang from hockey sticks. Casey's main go to it always seemed liked. To even metal golf clubs pretty much seemed like anything Casey could shove into the bag went along for the night. The other sound Raphael loved? was Casey's laugh, deep and hearty. Really came our from his chest and there was just something about the fact that Raph was the cause of that smile that Casey couldn't seem to stop spreading over his mouth had the turtles heart fluttering in his chest. That he was the one that cause it? He already loved their laugh but being the one to cause it? He can't explain the fuzzy little feeling that seemed to take him over with that fact.

Casey just couldn't seem to get enough of how badly Raphael freaked out the guy they were chasing down. The dragons were quite for the night so it was almost a bust. Till Raphael mentioned some activity on the east side, just on the other side of town. It wasn't anything major just some street thugs throwing their weight around. But Casey seemed down so a quick bike ride over and they found a good fight to break up. Not in the usual area for Raph and his brothers to show though so these guys had no idea how to handle a giant mutant like Raphael. Which he had to admit as he turned away to laugh himself was pretty funny.

"Least 'em dragons thought I was a freak in a costume first time runnin' into any of 'em." Raphael mentions " These yahoos? pfft must've watch to many monster flicks." He chuckles a little looking down to his drink, they were just celebrating a great night out after all. "eh can' 'em though." He shurgs he shoulders a little when he speaks up. "I wouldn' wanna go against someone 'hat look 'ike me nither." Raph brags a little. "I mean only nut case 'hat has was you" He teases as always smiling up at his boyfriend. " 'hat's how I knew ya were fuckin' outta ya skull there. What guy sees a five foot mutant turtle and decides 'i can 'ake 'em' clearly only someone who got his head knocked 'round to much." Raphael taunts a little

"Pft, me, scared of yer?"

Casey asked with the hint of laugh still in his tone, Raphael simply pulls a face at that. Part of him unsure if he should be insulted or not over the way they said it just now. "Yea?" as if it was obvious he should be. Now he was in fact a bit insulted, apparently that Casey didn't find the look of Raphael enough to run from. " 'm intimidating jack ass."

"Nah, never, yer more like a giant Teddy bear if anythin' Raph."

Raph let his beak hang open over the remark, him a teddy bear? He's ready to circle back on Casey being nuts because only Casey would think him that way. But maybe that is also why his words weren't coming out at the moment not even the flare of a temper was enough to get him to speak up just then and there. Slightly looking away as a blush dared to hit his face. It should be an insult right? he should take it as an insult and fire back that Casey was soft or something himself? Expect Casey wasn't messing around well not fully. Raphael could at least pick that up.

"Teddy bear?" he finally asks before he moves to stand up, "What ya think I ain't no threat now?" he's clearly not going for a fight the way he can't help but smile up at Casey.

Raphael may never really say it and sure at times he gets a kick out people looking at him and thinking he's just something to fear. But Casey didn't see Raphael that way. Hell Casey saw Raphael in a much different light. Moving to slightly try and corner Casey back against his bike of Casey barely reacted to the approach short how his attention shifted down to Raphael. There always this look in them that Raphael never wants to tell Casey he gives. out of fear he may never look at him the same if Raphael pointed it out to him. He has to shut his brain up a moment so he only keeps in mind Casey wasn't exactly fully in a place where he was comfortable with all of this. Not the dating Raphael part, dating a guy bit. If he was any guy it be the same. Somehow that thought doesn't reassure as much as he thought it might.

"I took it easy on ya bud" he continues it's clear hes only playing at picking a fight here. "wouldn' say ya all to safe around me still Case." just not in the sense he making it sound, which Casey even should be able to see from how Raphael has him. Raphael stays still as he lets Casey move to tug down his mask.

And his heart freezes. He's take it it off for Casey before and its not even the first time Casey taken it off but, he doesn't know why it's just something so personal that he's allowed Casey to to do. Slightly hesitant to look up once the cloth around his eyes is left to hang around his neck. It's easier with his mask on though, Casey can't tell everything he's thinking as easy when he can't see the looks Raphael's giving him. Slightly he lifts his view it's just them alone in this lot. Even as Casey teases him for be clearly 'so scary' in that breathy laugh of theirs. It's fine right? is all he can think letting himself clearly look to Casey's lips. He wants to kiss them so bad and he can't explain why.

Smirking slightly as he lifts himself up on the ends of his toes. Weight shifting forward against Casey's bike. Slightly biting at Casey's bottom lip. As he slightly chuckles at it himself.

"told ya not safe," he playfully warns them before moving to grab hold of their face head tilting to the side before he pulled Casey down a little into himself, letting his beak and their mouths meet. Letting himself just melt away with the buzz that kissing Casey always gave him. Slowly to release their face so his hands can rest back on their bike as he savors every last second they stated connected before moving back on his feet. "I could still kick ya ass though." He slightly covers with as he looks away from Casey.

[morningtomes]

@jasperlion said: "... you got BIG." was probably the last thing he was hoping would tumble from his jumbled brain and out his mouth as he stared at the behemoth of a six-eyed beast before him— the creation which he had hoped would have remained within the confines of Thabes if it ever woke again after their... meeting. Askr... sure had ways of reuniting folks, alright. [ @ gwima ]

              “YOU.”

        maw gapes, yet does not move in sync with the words leaving at near deafening volume. there’s a rumble rising from the colossal dragon as his head lowers closer to alm, six eyes of ruby narrowing down at him--- big indeed grima has grown, though time most certainly has passed since their last encounter (to which the other seems to not have changed at all, though it’s no surprise to him), but the difference was as massive as he had become overtime.

             “THE BRAT FROM THABES... OH HOW PUNY YOU AND THAT DAMNED BLADE HAVE BECOME.”

        spat like venom in a near mocking display--- just how long had it been since then? while it was no difficult feat to crush him then within his maw, it certainly would be just as easy now with how much he toppled over top the hero--- were it not for the contract forged when summoned to this world protecting alm in this moment, surely not even falchion could save him from the dragon’s wrath. truly alm was a lucky man to be before the dragon and have no threat to his life for a second time.

        not yet, anyway.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Top 7 Anime Where The Moon Gets Destroyed

...what?

Yeah so next on the list of arbitrary and dumb top whatever lists I have in mind is, well, see title. Think I just noticed the moon getting fucked up in some shows I was watching so I thought it would be a cute novelty to make this list. Not really sure what criteria I’m going with, like should I rate it based on the destruction of the moon, how the moon looks at the aftermath, how much I like the show? I’m probs just gonna do that last one so I can shit on shows I don’t like and say nice things about ones I do. Also I should probably say “gets destroyed” with a little asterisk - not al of these moons are seen being destroyed in their shows, and the level of destruction is going to vary uh, a lot. But don’t fucking complain, ever.

So with that out of the way, let’s fuckin’ go.

7. Sonic X

Well, they can’t all be winners. This moon looks like shit, and is from a shit show, and it’s from a part of that show that’s a shit adaptation of a shit game with a shit story. Nah I definitely said that last part just to be edgy. Feelings on Adventure 2 aside, X certainly sucks, and its destroyed moon is very visually lacking. But it’s on the list because I have 7 shows where this trope happens so why not include all of them?

6. Assassination Classroom

Okay, now we get into the good shit. This moon is pretty fucking visually striking and serves as very good imagery for just, the sheer threat that Koro-sensei actually poses. It’s actually been long enough since I watched this show and I don’t remember many specifics well enough to have anything else to add lol. Moon just looks cool and the show’s pretty solid.

5. Dragon Ball Z

Is this technically cheating since I’ve not seen DBZ? How about shut the fuck up since I’ve read the manga and seen enough DBZ footage without actually sitting down and watching it. That’s good enough, yeah? This one earns a spot above the other 2 not so much on the aesthetic of it - there’s literally not a good shot of the destroyed moon at all in fact - but because I like the show more and also because this is so funny in context. Little boy turns into giant monkey by looking at the moon so funny green dad fucking blows the entire moon up just to avoid having to deal with the problem. Wild.

4. Akudama Drive

Though not the most striking aesthetic in terms of destroyed moons, I think this one’s good at giving you a feeling of like, holy shit they went to town on that moon. There’s like nothing left of it! Narratively the reveal of the destroyed moon happens in the same episode that the idea of going to the moon is first introduced to us, and I think that double reveal is like, really funny but also super cool and fits the lightning fast pace of the show it comes from really well.

3. Cowboy Bebop

So I actually conceived of this list like, a day before I watched my 3 most recent episodes of Cowboy Bebop, at which point I noticed “oh shit the moon’s fucked in that show too” and that’s how this came to be a top 7 instead of a normal fucking number.  But yeah this looks pretty fucking sick. I don’t know a lot about the lore behind how this one happened but I mean, Cowboy Bebop has a cool as fuck setting and feels very unique among planet-faring sci-fi shows. How Earth is treated and what happened to its moon are a nice part of that appeal too. Wins this spot on cool factor and intrigue plus belonging to a really great show. Honestly tough to pick between this and Akudama Drive but I think Bebop edges it out just by having imo better visuals for its destroyed moon.

2. Senki Zesshou Symphogear

You know if this was purely aesthetic? Easy win. This looks fucking sick as all hell. I wish our real moon was like this. Fuck all the possible consequences that that would have - it looks cool so it should happen. And then narratively the moon is such a fucking involved entity in all the Symphogear seasons and it’s fun as fuck every time and that season 1 finale that sees its destruction here is so exciting and fun and cool to watch and the fact that it has permanent narrative implications for the remaining 4 seasons is just awesome. Watch Symphogear.

1. Madoka Magica: The Rebellion Story

But ultimately I am a Madoka simp above all else, so this has to win. Does it even count though? The moon is clearly destroyed and not just half full or anything - we can see the stars behind it after all. But Madoka and particularly Rebellion aren’t always super literal with their visuals, so it’s hard to say for sure. I’m counting it though because it gets this post to a nice 7 instead of 6, and it lets me simp for Madoka again, and this looks cool as fucking shit still, and because I want to wish that Homura will be okay and forgive herself. She’s very self destructive and seeing her dance this fake joy and hum Mada Dame yo, it’s sad. I like Rebellion a lot.

Anyway that’s my dumb gimmick post. Like, comment and subscribe for more.

[tarnished-doll]

i like the thought of the stormhawks were the original habitants of stormveil. i love how this game you see normal animal and think, 'nah they are animals' but hey, godfrey take this castle after defeted theses hawk and we had vocal animals pcs(miriel and jellyfish in mountaintrops giants). a nation of hawks isnt so strange in this universe.

but i think stormveil could also had dragon origins, godrick talk about dragons being the trueborn heir(this could also be him trying to evoke godwyn relation with fortissax), in agheel lake had worshiper 'feral flame of agheel burn true', the banished knights worship dragons as you can see their armors(they are in a lot places and could be not related to stormveil), the helmt. and on the castle wall had a the least mark of a giant clawn(could be the stormhawks had a wars against dragons) , similar for the one placidusax does and placidusax transform himself into a storm. and stormhawk axe had lightning with weapon art. yes none prove but i like to discuss these little aspectles with someone

we never did find out who the storm lord/king/whatever was so yeah for all we know it was a fuckin dragon or some shit. i think stormveil had been a contested area for a long time before godrick so it might have changed hands several times between several factions. also its very funny thinking about the One successful conquest godrick has being against some birds

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Ten liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

ASLKDJFLKLKJKSLDFK OK SO FIRST OF ALL THIS IS LATE BECAUSE THE FUCKING STATE OF THE REAL WORLD SENT ME CRASHING INTO A STRESS NAP AN HOUR BEFORE THIS AIRED AHAHA 

LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED C’MON BABY YODA YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE AT SERATONIN

Fuck it skipping recap

And we back on Tatooine

And he be nyoomin on a speederbike

What’s the hurry my dude?

Oh shit these guys are gonna like clothesline him

Oh shit they did

OH SHIT THE BABY

FUCKING BASTARDS

Oh thank GOD he’s okay

How the actual fuck did these bitches find the kid ALREADY does he still have a fob?!?!?!?

Kick their asses DIn

YOU STEP AWAY FROM MY SON WITH THAT KNIFE YOU FUCKING BASTARD

YEAH RIGHT DIN YOU TELL HIM YOU’LL KILL HIM IF HE HURTS YOUR SON

OMG HE’S GIVING UP HIS JETPACK FOR HIS SOOOOOOOOOOON

I CAN’T

HE CARES MORE ABOUT HIS BABY 

THAN HIS PRECIOUS HERITAGE

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

 Ahahaha no waiiiiit he has it controlled by his gear

AHAHAHA DIN YOU CLEVER BITCH I LOVE YOU

THE BABY’S LIL RASPBERRY NOISE

DIN’S LITTLE SHRUG

OH GOD I LOVE THIS FAMILY SO FUCKIN’ MUCH

And we get our title!  The Passenger!!!!

And here we get our Stronk Man carryin’ everything himself

Damn but I really do love him

Him and his broad shoulders

And yaaaaaay here’s Peli again!

And Peli’s still a legend

Is this dude’s name deadass “Dr. Mandible?”

Omg but do I love Peli

PFFF PELI COOKS THE DRAGON MEAT HILLBILLY STYLE XD

Awwwww he trusts Peli!

PFFF HER NAME IS FROG LADY

Oh no Baby Yoda thinks she’s a giant snack! xD

OH NO BABY THINKS HER BABIES ARE A GIANT SNACK

Baby noooooooo

Baby cmon don’t you mess with those eggs

Your dad needs this job!!!!!!!!

BABBBBYYYYYYY NOOOOOOOOO

DON’T FUCKING EAT THE CLIENT

And we got more New Republic ships!

“May the Force be with you” “And also with you” sonuvabitch why do they do that Catholic thing too

Uh oh these dudes are gonna try and shoot him ahaha

AHAHAHAHAHA IT’S FUCKING DAVE FILONI AGAIN

AHAHAHAHAHAHA DAVE YOU DEADASS NAMED YOURSELF “WOLF”

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

Damn I love me a man who can fly

OH HEY HEY HEY THEY’RE ON ILUM

Oh shit hope Din didn’t break any more of those eggs

Wellllllll if it broke the ship AND knocked Din out in that beskar armor I’m not holding out much hope for those eggs 

Awwwwww Frog Lady!!!!

SHIT WHERE’S BABY YODA

and he’s fucking eating the frog eggs again you little shit

Pfffff did Din like, purposefully give the kiddo a lunchbox to make it look like he can’t eat those eggs

Hey hey her eggs are cold!!!!!!!!!!

i just want her eggs to be safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw baby snuggling with Dad!

Oh shit smart Frog Lady!!!!!!

OOOOOOOF GUILT TRIP

BABY BE JUDGING HIM LIKE HE DIDN’T EAT LIKE FIVE TO TEN OF THOSE EGGS xD

Awwww atta boy Din you’re a good person

Hey maybe if they’re on Ilum and the First Order hasn’t fucking destroyed it yet maaaaaybe some of the planet’s remaining inner Force resonance could help Baby Yoda figure something out???

Oh this gives me big “Zeb and Kallus stuck on the ice moon in Rebels” vibes

Let’s hope that means no giant monsters

Lol Din he’s a baby he can use the Force, not fix ships

Ahaha dammit Frog Lady ran off

How is Baby Yoda not fucking freezing in just that scrawny little burlap sack he’s in

The Force(TM) I’m guessing

Oh no don’t let Frog Lady be dead

Yoooooo hotsprings!

Gah this is REALLY giving me Rebels vibes

BABY NOOOOO

Uh oh these things Also look like eggs

AND THE THINGS INSIDE LOOK LIKE SPIDERS OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I DON’T WANT A GIANT ICE SPIDER

Oh ahaha nah we’re just getting ten thousand little ones instead

SHIIIIT NOPE THAT’S STILL NOT GOOD

Damn Frog Lady gets dressed fast

Oh THERE’S the giant spider xD

Why couldn’t it be butterflies instead?

YEAH FLAMETHROWER THE SPIDERS

Aw Frog Lady’s helping the baby!!!!!

DIN DON’T FUCKING SHOOT THINGS OFF YOUR SON’S

Oh that was Frog Lady lol

Goddammit Shelob’s back

Oh SHIT she got them Pennywise teeth

Oh shit oh shit oh shit who’s shooting her????

Is it the New Republic guys?

Oh yeah it is!

Oh hey thanks Dave Wolf Man!

Awwwww the security showed Din’s a good guy I’m gonna cry

Pfffff but they’re still gonna leave him to get his own ass off the rock xD

Soooooo was that Ilum or not?

I fucking love Din’s deadpan sense of humor ahaha

HE FUCKING STOLE ANOTHER EGG BABY NOOOOOOOOOOO

Aw this was a cute episode

Kinda filler-y, especially if there’s only gonna be eight total again, but hey, we got to see the baby being a little shit, I’m satisfied

And more Dave!

Still can’t fucking believe he named himself “Wolf” the man has a theme and he’s sticking to it I respect that

[elaphaemourra]

If you had the choice of living in the Star Wars: The Old Republic universe, but you're a Hutt, or living in Thedas from Dragon Age, but you're a Nug, which would you pick?

God I love Thedas, but like, Star Wars. I don’t like nugs, I don’t like nugs.  I do not need to have a fckn weird naked rabbit with Hands be me.  I don’t want to participate in Nug Monarchy.  Fuckin Nah.

Being a fckn, massive, difficult to kill, giant gastropod of Ultimate Lifespan???? Fucking rad.  I don’t want to be a fragile naked Hand Rabbit, I want to be as hard to kill as possible >:3

[diddlesanddoodles]

DUMPLING ch 44

Kol was busy hauling in sacks of flour from storage and Bart had called Saen and Avery to come help him along with the tenderfoots out in the courtyard, leaving just Yale and Quinn in the kitchen with Nenani. Farris had left in a fowl temper to attend a meeting with Donal regarding the upcoming dinner. Apparently, more Lords had sent their intentions to be present and the whole affair was beginning to grow in grandeur and size.

Yale was making some sort of cold sauce made of oil, crushed nuts, and the macerated leaves from a large stalky green that was taller than she was and smelled like a cross between celery and basil. Nenani sat comfortably on a folded tea towel, pulling apart the large nuts and tossing the shells into a waste bowl and the meat into another bowl. The nuts reminded her vaguely of walnuts, but much bigger and had the same sort of oily astringency.

“I don’t care if it’s normal for high-borns,” Yale said, using a little more force than necessary to rip the stalks off of the leafy greens. “Marryin’ off a lil’un is just beyond the pale.”

“Mama said she wouldn’t make me marry anyone,” Nenano replied, trying to assure Yale that she was in no danger of suddenly being married. “She said she doesn’t want me to become someone’ pawn.”

“Well, I’m glad yer Mum’s got a sensible head on her shoulders,” he replied. “Someone need to straighten Lolly’s out for her though. She’s got a bug up her skirts fer sure. Not sure why. Makin’ me nervous though.”

“Me too,” she replied with a grunt as she had to put in a bit of effort to break apart a particularly tough nut.

“So, puttin’ that mess aside fer the moment,” Yale said, reaching for the bowl of shelled nuts and used the flat end of a wooden spoon to smash the soft flesh into crumbs and then adding the lot to the larger bowl of greens. “How’re yer magic lessons goin’?”

“Stopped for now,” she replied. “Maevis is busy making the lanterns.”

Yale turned towards the stone archway, gesturing vaguely to the black lantern hanging just above the lintel. “They put that one in yesterday. Curious to see if it works, but if it never went off, I’d be happy.”

“He says I’ve got a decent enough grasp now that I may not even need the amulet,” she said. “But Mama wants me to wear it all the time anyway.”

“Can’t say I blame her fer that,” Quinn said as he walked up beside Yale, reaching over him to grab a salt cellar, and forcing him to duck down. “Ye scared the lot of us shitless that one time.”

“Oi!” Yale snapped as Quinn retreated and he could straighten himself again. “Ye got salt over there!”

“Empty,” Quinn replied with a careless shrug.

“...so go fill it back up,” Yale retorted with some heat.

“Nah,” the baker smirked and turned around back towards his station. “This one’ll do just fine thanks.”

Yale chased after him, but Quinn seemed to have sensed him and stepped easily to the side as Yale made a grab for the salt cellar. Nenani laughed as they ran about the baking station, Quinn sprinkling salt onto the prepared loaves as he ran and dipped and danced around Yale. “Give it back, dammit!”

“I just need a bit, ye stingey bastard!”

“Use them long legs of yers and go fill yer own up!”

���And I said no thank you!” Watching as the two grown giants banter and fight like children, Nenani sat back and laughed, the mood carrying away the grimmer thoughts that had been congealing in her mind. To the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow descend the servants stairwell, but paid it no mind. A swath of blue fabric caught her eye and she turned to look.

Dressed in the blue coat of the rangers, Thrist stepped down into kitchen and his round coarsely shaven head was turned away from her as he watched Yale and Quinn. But almost as though sensing eyes upon him, his head swerved around and Nenani was suddenly the focus of his two beady eyes. Thin lips curled into a sickening grin. With an arrogant bounce to his gate, he sauntered over to the table and he drew nearer, Nenani glared. Hared.

“Go away,” she told him.

“What? Not even a hello?” he asked mockingly. “Well don’t that just show it then? Ye find out yer a Princess and suddenly yer too good fer us low folk?”

“No,” she replied. “Just you.”

He thrust his hand towards her and she fell back, raising her hand and pulling her magic out. But instead of grabbing her, his fingers dipped into the bowl shelled nuts and grabbed up a handful.

“Don’t flatter yerself, Sparkles,” Thrist snickered with an oily grin. “Ye ain’t worth it. Probably taste like three week old mutton anyway.”

“Better than smelling like three week old mutton,” she snapped back.

His arrogant grin dropped as just before he could retort, there was an angry shout from behind him.

“Oi!” Yale growled as he and Quinn both bore down onto the Ranger. The black haired cook slipped between the table and Thrist and thrust his pal against the ranger’s chest, pushing him back. “Ye fucker got a lotta nerve showin’ yer ugly arse face around here, Thrist.”

“Oh, calm yer tits, Yale,” Thrist sneered, batting Yale’s hand away. “I’m on duty. Ain’t after yer damn pet.”

Quinn swiped at the ranger’s arm pushing Yale away and laughed darkly. “Suppose havin’ to spend three weeks scoutin’ the swamps wasn’t all that fun, eh? Be a shame if ye went and earned yerself another bout of that, eh? Don’t think yer boss would be too happy with ye messin’ with his brother’s ward. Again.”

“Fuck ye both,” Thrist replied, unconcerned with the threat. He cracked a nut and ate it, tossing the shell into the fire and then threw himself hard into one of the chairs. His boots made a dull thud as they planted themselves onto the table only a few yards from where Nenani was sitting.  

“No thanks,” Quinn said, the hard look in his eyes betraying the light lilt of his voice. “But ye can turn yerself right round and go find a nice sunny spot in gurney’s manuer pile. Ain’t that where pigs like to play? Neck deep in shit?”

“Fuck off, both of ye. Like I said, I’m duty. Sweepin’ the grounds fer anyone not belongin’. Suspicious characters and the like.”

“Well, as ye can see, we all belong,” Yale growled. “Now piss the fuck off.”

“And ye fuckers can go back to yer work,” Thrist replied lightly with a shrug. “Rheil and Keral have got us all scrounging ‘round the castle. The Magician sensed something that freaked him out. Supposed to make sure none of his stupid fuckin’ lanterns were on.”

“Well as ye can see, it ain’t. All is well. So do like Yale said and piss the fuck off.”

Thrist made a great exaggerated showing of pondering their words and then shrugged and then cracked another nut and tossed it into his mouth. “Not convinced. What if I leave and it just lights up?”

“Then ye’d be as useless as ye are now,” Yale replied.

“Yer pretty ungrateful ye know that?” Thrist said, folding his hands behind his head.

“Oh? And how do ye figure?” Quinn asked.

“Seein’ as I’m the reason yer pet’s even alive,” the ranger said. “After all that mess with the dragon.”

“Piss off,” Yale snapped. “Keral was the one that found her and brought her back.”

“Aye. After I spotted the thing and reported it to him. Like I say: she’s alive ‘cause ‘a me.”

“So? Do ye want a fuckin’ meddle or somethin’?” Quinn asked.

Thrist grinned. “A silver or two would be nice. A princess is worth that much, eh?”

Both Yale and Quinn looked murderous, but before either could formulate a response, Farris’s voice spoke just outside the stone archway leading out into the courtyard. “That’s what coats are fer ye idiot.”

“I couldn’t find it,” replied a quieter, but familiar voice.

“Does Hev know yer out here?”

“He’s not my mother,” Connar asserted.

“Don’t look that way t’most folk, lad.”

“Oh shut it. I can go where I want….so long as I’m allowed.”

“It’s not the being allowed part ye don’t seem to have a handle on. It’s the physical ability to make it there.”

“I can’t help it if the cold makes it hard to walk.”

“Again. That’s what a fuckin’ coat is fer. Now do ye want to take another trip ‘round this same bush or are ye done with yer tantrum?”

There was a deep sigh. “...yeah, fine. I’m done.”

“Good,” Farris replied just as he stepped down into kitchen with Connar sitting in the crook of his arm. Despite the cold and snow, Connar was only dressed in a pair of thin trousers and a short sleeve tunic. “Because ye was one smart-ass reply away from bein’ dumpin’ back into that snow pile.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Wanna bet?” Farris grinned darkly, but his eyes pulled away from Connar swept the room before falling onto Thrist. To the ranger’s credit, he hastily pulled his feet off of the table. “Who let in this fucker?”

“No one,” Yale replied. “He just sauntered in like he owned the damn place.”

Farris’s eyes never wavering from Thrist and he said in a low growl, “Ye got three seconds to get out of my kitchen before I shove my foot so far up yer arse you’ll be tastin’ leather fer a week.”

Thrist rose from his seat, clearly taking the threat serious enough. He took a few tentative steps towards the archyway, but keeping a good arm’s distance away from Farris. Nenani eyed him warily but grinned when an idea struck her.

“I just came to tell ye,” Thrist said defensively. “That Maevis sensed somethin’ off. We’re just checkin’ to see if the lanterns are lit. And to let ye know to keep an eye out.”

Nenani pulled a small amount of fire from her amulet, letting the small flame dance in her palm for a few moments before tossing it towards Thrist. It caught the middle portion of his coat, just below his waist. And began to burn. She caught Connar’s eye and shrugged innocently. The blacksmith bit his lip to keep himself from laughing.  

“Message received,” Farris replied. “And seein’ as it ain’t lit, ye can get out. Now.”

“Right,” Thrist replied, scurrying towards the exit. “I’ll just be on my way then.”

“Oh, and Thrist?” Farris said.

“Huh?”

“...yer arse is on fire.”

“What…?” Thrist twisted to look behind him and seeing the back end of his coat beginning to smolder, jumped with a cry of alarm and ran for the archway. “AH!”

Laughter followed him up the stairs and out of the kitchen and into the courtyard. Still chuckling himself, Farris walked over to the table and sat Connar down next to Nenani and ruffled her hair into a fluffy mess. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up to find him grinning at her. “That’s my girl.”

She giggled, trying to put her hair back into some semblance of order. Kol came running down the stairs with a sack slung over his shoulder. “Oi!” he said with a breathless smile. “Who tossed Thrist into the fire?”

“No one,” Quinn laughed. “It was the Dumplin’.”

“Threw a fireball at him,” Yale replied, his words bouncing along with his laugh.

Kol howled with mirth as he laid the sack down onto the bakers’ station table. “He’s out here rollin’ in the snow!”

Beside her, Connar was laughing as well. “Ah, man. If only I could do that. Would’ve come in handy so many times.” He hobbled unsteadily over, greatly favoring his left leg, and plopped down onto the folded towel next to her. Wincing, he reached down to rub his left knee and pulled his trouser leg up to reveal the carved wood beneath. Where the wood ended, a large leather belt began, wrapping around his lower thigh. He popped a few buttons and slid the leg off to reveal the remnants of his real leg. Bright pink scar tissue created a sort of cushion just below his kneecap and there seemed to be a sort of callous where fake leg repeated rubbed against his skin. “Sorry,” he said, pulling his pant leg down. “I just needed to get it off for a bit. I know it’s an ugly thing to look at.”

“So, Farris,” Quinn asked, gesturing towards Connar. “Where’d ye find this one?”

Farris snorted as he dug through a cupboard. “Half frozen in a fuckin’ snow pile.” He pulled out another tea towel and tossed it over to Connar. It unfolded in the air and enveloped Connar completely. It took him a few moments to pull himself out of it’s tangles and wrapped the excess fabric around him.

“Why are ye even outside in this cold?” Yale asked, returning to his original task. “Don’t it hurt yer leg?”

“My leg? Not at all,” Connar replied with a cheeky grin, holding up the wooden leg. “But what’s left of my knee feels like it’s on fire.”

Yale shook his head, but was smiling. “Then why the fuck are ye out here?”

Connar pulled a satchel from behind him and placed it on his lap, patting it with a triumphant grin. “I heard Nenani was down here and I wanted to hand deliver this to her. Wanted to see her face.”

“My belt?” Nenani asked, eye bright.

“Yup. Among other things. I promised you I’d make you something you would love.”

“Oh!” she said, bouncing and holding her hands out. “Let me see, let me see!”

Connar held up a placating finger. “Ah-uh. What’s the magic word?”

“Please?” Nenani asked, but paused, recalling how much he seemed to enjoy Jae’s bribe. “...whiskey?”

Connar stared at her baffled and the grinned. With a laugh, he said, “No. It was please. But I may change it now.”

Flipping open the satchel’s flap, Connar reached inside and pulled out a leather belt as wide as her hand and decorated with intricate motifs. Trees, a mountain, a stream, and in the center, a seven petaled flower. “Here,” he said, flipping it over so show her the inside. “It snaps on, so it won’t be a huge problem to put it on. And you can secure your dagger’s sheath to it here with this flap. It buckles just here...and there’s another on the other side. You know. Just in case.”

He gestured for her to stand and she obeyed, remaining perfectly still as he he wrapped it around her waist and snapped the metal buttons. He hummed. “Hm. A little loose. Hold on a tic, I’ll adjust it. Spin a bit for me.”

She did as he asked and he began to put at the strings at the back of the belt, the leather beginning to tighten snugly against her. “How’s that?”

“Good,” she replied.

“Not too tight?”

“No.”

“All right!” he said, patting her side. “Let’s see you then.”

Nenani stood back, looking down at the belt and with a wide grin, spun around. Yale bent down to inspect it, giving an appreciative whistle.

“It’s a fine piece, lad,” Farris said. “Gen taught ye well.”

“Thanks,” Connar replied and then reached back into his bag. “But I’ve got more.”

“More?” Nenani asked, interest piqued. At Connar’s beckoning finger, she skipped back over to him.

“Let me see your right arm,” he said as he pulled out another piece of leather, tubular, and with similar motifs to the belt. He slipped it onto her arm and used the strings at the side to secure it. He motioned for her other arm as he pulled the second matching piece from the bag. “They’re vambraces. Kind of like the bracers archers wear.”

“Fuckin’ hell, Lolly’s gonna flip if she sees ye wearin’ all that,” Kol said. “Ye almost look like ye ready fer battle there, lass.”

Nenani’s face hurt from how wide her smile was. She looked over at Yale. “I’m gonna wear these to the dinner. The sleeves are long enough you’d never even see them!”

“Good luck with that!” he laughed.

Connar called her back over. “Haven’t even shown you the best part yet. Let me see that amulet of yours.”

She remembered him saying something about getting a better chain for it so she pulled it over her hear and handed it to him. He took a moment to inspect it. “Man, this thing is old. Like...ancient. Where’d you get it?”

“...Maevis took if off a dead mage in the catacombs inside the walls somewhere near the keep,” she replied. Connar looked up at her, giving her a look, but when she did not reveal it to be a joke, he frowned.

“...you’re serious.”

She nodded and he regarded the fire opal amulet with a growing look of unease. “This thing isn’t like...gonna curse me or anything will it?”

“It hasn’t cursed me,” she replied with a shrug and then paused. “At least I don’t think it has.”

“Very reassuring,” he snorted. From within his satchel he pulled out a few tools and with a deft fingers, used a pair of pliers to pull apart the links securing the chain to the amulet and sat it aside. With the amulet in hand, he gestured her forward and when she stood in front of him, he held out the amulet and placed it in the center of her belt. He used the pliers one more time to loop the ends with a link set into the leather and after only a few moments, he leaned back to inspect it. “There. Now you don’t have to worry about that old chain breaking loose.”

She took a moment to admire the whole of her new gifts before leaping at Connar and all but tackling him to the ground. “Oh, hey now! Oof –!”

“I love it!” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Told you that you would,” he laughed.

“All right, that’s enough,” Farris said. “We’ve got plenty to do without any more distractions. Kol, go get the others and have ‘em all come down here. I’ve got somethin’ ye all need t’hear.”

“Will do,” Kol replied, turning to race back up the stairs. In a matter of minutes, the entire kitchen staff was assembled. Farris looked them all in the eyes and with an irritable grumble, said to them, “Donal’s just told me the guest list fer the dinner just doubled.”

“What?” Yale asked, looking pale. “Doubled? Ye can’t be serious.”

“They’re all coming,” Farris replied, not bothering to disguise his irritation. “Every Duke, Duchess, Earl, and Countess. All of ‘em.”

The answering silence weighed heavily in the air.

“Fuck!” exclaimed Avery, breaking the quiet and yet seeming to capture everyone’s sentiment perfectly. “It’s the weddin’ all over again.”

“Worse,” Farrie replied. “We ain’t got nearly the same amount of time to prep. Donal’s got my list and he’ll be handlin’ the orderin’ and we’ll have twenty tenderfoots to help. Ten of ‘em are the ones that helped out during the weddin’ feast so they’ll at least have some sense of what’s expected of ‘em.”

Connar gave a low whistle. “I don’t envy you boys.”

Kol made an exaggerated moan, leaning heavily against Quinn. “Ugh, please. Someone just throw me off the battlements.”

“Alright,” Quinn smirked, grabbing Kol around the waist and bodily hoisting him up.

“Oi! I was fuckin’ jokin’!” Quinn obligingly sat Kol back down, laughing.

“I’ll trade you places,” Nenani offered Kol. “I’ll stay down here and you can go to the dinner instead.”

“If I thought we’d get away with it,” he said. “I might very well take ye up on that offer, Dumplin’.”

“Don’t think he’d fit into yer dress though,” added Saen with a grin.

“He could just wear it on his hand,” she offered.  

“I’d pay good money to see Kol in a frock,” Avery snickered.

“Aye, I bet you would,” Kol replied with a frown.

“All right then, let’s get to it, lads,” Farris barked, sensing where the conversation was leading. He turned to Nenani. “Best go head on back upstairs, Dumplin’. Donal mentioned yer Mum was lookin’ fer ye.” Nenani made a sad noise of disappointment. “Yale? Go find one ‘a the guards to take her back up.”

“Why can’t I just take the tunnel?” Nenani asked.

Farris eyed her. “Ye heard Thrist didn’t ye? Maevis sensed somethin’. And I ain’t takin’ no chances.” He turned to Saen and waved at Connar as he was slipping his false leg back on. “Saen? Make sure Mr. Observant here gets back to Hev in one piece. Afraid to let him walk back on his own. Might not find him again until spring.”

Connar glared up at Farris. “You’re a real comedian, Farris. You know that?”

“Oh I wasn’t jokin’ none.”

[thiswasinevitableid]

20 with Indruck please? Rating up to you!

20 was “Heat” so I went NSFW. Duck’s design is based on a Giant Pacific Octopus, Indrid’s on a Wrought-Iron Butterfly Fish, but with red in place of the yellow. Merman anatomy based on...nothing even remotely scientific

The kelp forest is a welcome respite from the halls of the palace. 

Pity Indrid isn’t in much of a headspace to enjoy it.

He’s in heat. It hit him when he woke up this morning, and he left the palace as soon as he noticed. Which means he’s horny, hungry, and in desperate need of privacy. Privacy he knows he will not get if people in the castle pick up on his state.

A decently thick patch of kelp comes into view, and he shoos away stray sea stars and snappers to have the space to himself. It doesn’t take much coaxing for the slit in his upper tail to reveal itself and open. His cock will need a bit more stimulus to fully emerge, and so he focuses on rubbing the tip of it and frantically working his fingers into the sensitive opening beneath it. If he can just cum a few times, he might be able to clear his head. 

His future vision, a bit cloudy from the haze of desire, alerts him that someone is coming. 

“C’mon now, I know you’re back there. This area’s off limits.”

He hisses in discomfort as he tries to will his body to calm down and return to an unaroused state. He knows that voice, and it belongs to both the absolutely first and last person he wants to see him like this. Duck Newton, steward of this portion of the forest, whose tentacles he can just spy trawling along the ground.

Duck is one of a chosen few mers whose adolescent tail transformed into a set of eight tentacles, like those of an octopus when he turned eighteen. Only four are suckered, but all are dexterous, making the mers who have them capable warriors (both due to how many weapons they can wield and the fact the limbs can regrow if bitten off). Duck has chosen to use his to more efficiently tend to his beloved forest. This is just one of the many reasons Indrid is fond of him. 

“Come on, you ain’t in trouble, but you cant’--oh, hey ‘Drid.” Duck's face appears through the foliage.

“H-hello Duck. Ah, apologies” he keeps several clumps of kelp in front of his lower half, “I, ah, got turned around.”

Duck shrugs with an easy smile, “It happens. If you come with me, sure I can help you find what you need. Oh!” He begins peeling the kelp back, seeming to think Indrid is tangled, “I found a nest of emerald sea dragons the other day. You wanna see ‘em?” 

“Perhaps some, some other time. I, I should maybe just see myself home.”

“You okay? You’re lookin kinda ill.” Duck reaches out with his hand, touching Indrid’s cheek.

“I’m fine.” He squeaks.

“‘Drid, you feel real hot. We oughta check your gills, see if they’re green.”

Indrid looks down, tail going limp in surrender, “Look at your tentacles, Duck. They know, even if you do not.”

Duck glances at the limbs, now pulsing red to purple. A signal that he’s sensed the heat pheromones in the water.  

“Huh.” Duck’s tongue presses the inside of his cheek, “no wonder you look so stressed. Heats can be a real pain in the ass.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Indrid relaxes when Duck’s tentacles stop trying to clear the foliage he’s using to preserve his modesty.

“You wanna come back to my place? I can make you some breakfast, make sure you don’t get too uncomfortable. My heats always make sleepin’ hard, so I even got some real nice pillows that can help you if you have trouble sleepin durin yours.”

Indrid cocks his head, “Breakfast? That’s...really why you want me to come back with you?” He lets his eyes roam across Duck’s chest, his strong arms and ample belly, the pleasing colors of his tentacles. 

“Well, sure. Like I said, I know how rough the next couple of days can be. Happy to help a friend out.”

Indrid licks his lips, “I believe there is another way you can assist me.” He reaches out, drawing a finger along Ducks chest. But the mer rolls backwards, out of reach.

“Hold up, I’m, uh, I’m flattered, but I ain’t sure what you’re anglin’ for is a good idea.”

“Oh, ah, I apologize, I, that was far too forward of me.” He wishes he had the ability to camouflage so he could slink away in shame.

“No, I, uh, it’s just, I don’t want you offerin that to me when it’s your heat makin you do it.”

“It is not. I am quite capable of freely choosing my partners.” Indrid says, more petulant than he means to be.

Duck’s tentacles go an odd, bashful shade of red, “Don’t you have folks back in the palace who you’re interested in? Kinda assumed you could have your pick.”

Indrid sighs, “I could, in a way. But, well, I do not need yet another reminder that my appeal to people in the palace is only in my powers or my status; I learned the hard way the last time that there are many who would court my favor during my heat, but only because they found the pheromones appealing when combined with the possibility I might tell them beneficial futures.“

“Oh, ‘Drid.” Duck says softly, “that ain’t decent.”

“I mean, I always consented to it. I just felt naive in retrospect; I should have known the fact that people give me a wide berth unless they want something would not go away so easily.”

“You ain’t had even one person court you for you?”

“No.”

Duck teases him gently, “That why you were in my forest, hidin out and jerkin it like some fresh-faced young mer afraid his folks are about to walk in?”

“Yes. I, I just did not want anyone to know. Being lonely and needy feels better than being approached by suitors who care for my position but not me.”

Duck scratches the back of his neck, “And, uh, if there was someone who was wild about you and thinks those other mers are dipshits for not seein’ how incredible you are?”

Indrid snorts softly, “You already said no.”

“I said I didn’t wanna do anythin unless I was sure you really wanted to be with me.” Duck comes back to him, “but if you do...fuck, ‘Drid, I been dreamin about this for awhile now.”

“Please?” Indrid bites his lip, hopeful nerves rising. 

Duck cups his cheeks, resting their foreheads together, “Hell yeah, darlin. Now, let’s see what we’re dealin with.” The front two tentacles gingerly moves Indrid’s cover aside, and Duck takes in his cock, now swollen, and the open slit with small tendrils trying to draw Duck in “oh, my poor sugar, you been like this since you got here?”

“Mhmmm.” Indrid whines.

“Let��s see if we can take the edge off. Put my hands where you need ‘em.”

Indrid pulls one hand down, sliding it into the slit, and Duck drops the other down around his waist to steady him.

“There we go, fuck, can practically fit my whole hand in, you sure it just started this morning?”

“Yes, though, though I think being near you has perhaps accelerated it.”

“That so? Wonder what happens if I-”

“OH! Ohyes, yesyes.” Indrid trills as Duck works his hand steadily back and forth, thumb catching the tendrils and tugging them just right.

“That’s it, I got you, gonna make you feel so good--uh, what are you doin’?””

“I want more of you, all of you, please” Indrid continues gathering the tentacles he can reach in one hand and pawing at the space where Duck’s cock is hiding, “need it, need you, want you to use me.”

“Nope” Duck tenderly guides his hands to rest around his shoulders, “we’re gonna go steady and sweet this time. You wanna go buckwild later, we can, but right now all I wanna do is watch the fuckin captivatin face while you cum.”

“But, but you are clearly-” Indrid nods at where he can see Duck’s cock trying to emerge.

“I know, but that don’t matter right now. All that matters is makin’ you feel good.” The drawl curls around him and he feels safer than and snugger than a sleeping otter, and he whines in gratitude.

‘You want a kiss?”

“Please” 

Duck leans in, planting kisses up and down his cheeks before settling on his lips. Indrid hums, threads his fingers into Duck’s hair in hopes of making the kiss last forever. Then he gasps, moaning gratefully as a (non-suckered, thank goodness) tentacle wraps around his cock. Duck simply chuckles, tightens and twists the tentacle until Indrid is babbling praise into his mouth, hips twitching as pleasure overwhelms his system. 

When he cums it’s with a thoroughly undignified groan, Duck kissing him through it.

“Better?” He murmurs, nuzzling Indrid’s cheek.

“Y-yes, at least I can actually get everything, ah, concealed again.”

Duck holds out his hand, “In that case, wanna come back to my place?”

Indrid holds his hand all the way back to the sunken fishing boat Duck calls home (he’d actually dragged the boats occupants to shore to save them, meaning his wreck is pleasantly corpse-free). He admires the new, tiny ships in bottles Duck has floating in a corner as the other mer shuts the door and draws a seaweed curtain over the windows. 

“Now….” In the darkened hull, Duck’s tentacles begin rippling a deep purple, “what were you sayin’ earlier? Somethin’ about ‘wantin’ all of me?’” His voice has gone a shade huskier, and Indrid shivers excitedly when he realizes he’s in a remote place with a mer whose body is specifically built for power.

Then Duck smiles, so earnest and affectionate, the way he did the first time Indrid laughed at one of his jokes, and he remembers exactly why he followed him here. 

“Yes, I believe I did.” He swims to him, circles him, tail and fingers brushing him teasingly. 

“You gonna make me play chase? Kinda thought those days were behind us, given I ain’t a young mer, and neither are you.” Duck crosses his arms, grinning and spinning slowly to track Indrid’s progress. 

“I never got to do such things, even with previous mates. It does hold a certain appeal.” He swims higher, brushes his tail along Ducks chest and throat. 

Duck considers him for a moment, seems almost detached.

“Nah, don’t feel like chasin you down.”

Two tentacles shoot up, grabbing him and yanking him face to face with Duck and he laughs with delighted surprise.

“Oh dear, it seems you have won the chase.”

Duck snickers, gathers Indrid into his arms, tentacles releasing him, “Seems I have. But my prey don’t seem to mind one bit. Maybe because it knows I got what it needs.” He rolls his hips against Indird, and in a few short moments his cock presses against Indrid’s scales, his own body responding and opening readily. 

“You want me to fuck you, or the other way around?”

In answer, Indrid guides Ducks’ cock inside him, and the other mer groans, hugging him tight.

“Fuck you feel good.”

“L-likewise. No, kindly stop holding backAHHhhhhhnnnnyesgoodthankyou.” Indrid scratches along Ducks muscled back as he pounds into him. His cock is made up of overlapping, twisting whirls, and their ridges rub deliciously inside him, catching the underside of his cock on each thrust. 

“Yeah? That what you needed your highness?” Duck puts some bite into those last two words and Indrid moans. Duck raises an eyebrow in question, then understands, “You needed some rough-tailed mer to fuck you until you can’t swim, someone who doesn’t give a shit about--oh fuck yeah that feels good--your royal blood, just knows a nice piece of tail when he sees it, just wants to show you exactly how you oughta be treated.”

“Yes! Or, no? Wait, ah, oh goodness” Indrid blushes, “I apologize, ahnnn, I got lost somewhere in the rhetorical questions.”

Duck giggles against his neck, kisses his nose “Don’t worry about answerin’ them, then.”

“But, but I am enjoying you talking like that.”

“Oh yeah?”

Indrid nods, whimpering as the thrusts quicken and Duck tugs him into a bruising, teeth and tongue filled kiss.

“Then I oughta tell you I been thinkin’ about you since I had to prep, fuck, prep the royal garden for that party a few weeks after we met. Thought about layin’ you out in the seagrass, long tail under my fingers, workin you up with my mouth until you begged me to fuck you.”

“That long?”

“Yep” a softer kiss, “kept dreamin about sneakin in through the window and, uh, sullyin the royal bed oh damn, careful, gonna float away from me if you thrashin your tail like that.”

“I cannot help it, I, you feel so good, no one’s ever spoken to me like that before and I love it.”

“Here” Duck curls one tentacle around Indrid’s tail, keeping him in place.

“Oh” Indrid breaths out, eyes widening.

“That’s uh, that’s really okay? It don’t scare you or nothin?” Duck searches his eyes, gaze so loving that Indrid strokes his hair.

“Not at all. In fact, would, ah, would you do it more?”

The grin again, the wolf-eel one, and suddenly his wrists are pinned by his sides, the grip on his tail strengthens, and another tentacle snakes around his middle, trapping him against Duck. The mers hands stay on his shoulders and face, caressing him even as he snaps his hips harshly. 

“Ohhhhhhit’slikeyouareeverywhere” Indrid can barely get the words out, hurries them for fear he’ll shortly lose the ability to form coherent thoughts.

“I am. Cause you’re all mine.” He drags out the “all,” running his hands and tentacles forcefully across Indrid’s skin as he does. 

Indrid keens, something deep in his heat-brain responding to those words.

“Careful, or they’ll hear you all the way at the palace. Might come and take you away from me.”

“They, they wouldn’t dare, I’d tear them apart AH” He bites down on Duck’s shoulder when another tentacle teases his cock.

“All the same, and as much as I’d like to see their faces when they realized you chose me…” Another tentacle taps his lips politely, and Indrid parts them, lets the appendage slide into his mouth. It feels unlike anything else when it skates along his tongue, Duck watching him diligently for signs of discomfort. His heat makes his body more pliant and receptive than usual, so when it touches the back of his throat he nods. Duck presses past the hint of resistance, and Indrid moans, frantically working his hips in the small thrusts the restraints allow him.

Duck watches him with awe, “Fuck, fuck lookit you, takin’ me every which way, god ‘Drid, your throat feels good sugar, might have to shove half of these down there and half alongside my cock just to see if you can take it, fuck, shit, you wanna be full, you’re gonna be fuckin’ full.” He cums hard, and to Indrid’s shock he feels some spill out even as it pumps into him. The tentacle on his cock strokes mercilessly at the head and as he thrashes in Duck’s hold he spurts into the water between them. 

He comes down in a haze, having barely enough energy to whine when Duck pulls out.

“Don’t worry, we can go again soon.” Duck carries him to bed, makes a face when he notices Indrid’s back, “Uh, you, uh, you, well, it’s gonna be real obvious what kinda mer you were with.”

Indrid turns his head, finds many sucker-shaped marks on his back, “I do not mind. It is nice to have some souvenirs.”

“Happy to give you more. But first, we gotta keep your strength up. ” Duck kisses him once before swimming off towards the pantry. 

He spends the remainder of the day in the ship, heat waxing and then waning with each bout of sex. He fucks Duck twice, the other mer cooing encouraging words in his ear and flattering his every feature as he does.

Duck fucks him, by his very accurate count, about a hundred million thousand times. Sometimes his tentacles fuck him into a writhing, pleading mess while the mer himself sits and reads with a knowing smirk on his face. Sometimes he uses his mouth, or lets Indrid lavish his cock and slit with his tongue in-between cuddles.On one particular instance, Duck wraps him so tightly in so many of his tentacles that Indrid can’t move save for the odd flutter of the end of his tail. All he can do is moan as Duck fucks him twice in a row, growling in his ear for him to be a good little mate and take it. 

Indrid has also never been more cared for during a heat; Duck brings him food, cuddles and kisses him, makes him a nest of books and pillows and tells bad jokes and brainteasers to distract Indrid from the waves of heat that come when he’d really rather just be held than fuck. Tells him over and over how much he cares about him, how handsome he finds him, and Indrid tells him the same. 

When Duck asks, still a but bashful, if Indrid would like to stay with him until his heat ends, Indrid agrees immediately. And when Indrid asks if Duck will come back to the palace with him, at least for a few days, after it’s over, Duck says yes in an instant. 

And when two royal guards coming looking for the erstwhile prince, given that no one has seen or heard from him in almost a day, they find sound asleep in Duck’s arms. Exactly where he belongs. 

[internetremix]

If you guys could be any non Legendary Pokemon, what would you be and why?

2This one ended up VERY LONG so discussion below the cut:

Kristen: Um. Oh no this is hard. My kneejerk reaction to these is always Mew because Mew is my favorite Pokemon. Smol kickass pink cat, excellent.Phill: Bidoof. Easy. Hands down objectively best PokemonKristen: I'm just imagining Bidoof with a Phill beard now. Amazing. BUT I CANNOT PICK A LEGENDARY POKEMON SO. Uh.  Um. I mean Charizard is super cool and then I could be a big badass dragon but like I CAN'T BE A BIG?? THAT WOULD BE HARD I'd probably be super clumsy and burn shit. ...So I also can't be Fletchling cause then I'm also gonna burn shit on accident. Dragonair is super neat but like THEY LONG I feel like I'd get tangled up. Espeon and Umbreon are cool?? Uh maybe an Espeon?? They seem too cool for me.  I'm bad at this, I haven't played Pokemon in like a million years and I get self conscious every time I pick something cool cause I'm like "no I'd fuck up being cool". Slyveon maybe?? My fiance just said I'd be a Plusle but I don't accept it.

...fuck it Espeon. Espeon is neat but also it cute fuck it live ur dreams to be kinda cool.Atwas: It's okay Kristen. Charizard is only 5'7". But I guess even that would be a massive jump in height. :^)Kristen: ListenAtwas: :^)Kristen: RudeUprising: idk what i would BE, i know my favorite pokemon but thats chepap. my brother said shiny alolan ninetails bc it is pink, white, and has flowy hair so that sounds accurate.Alex: My favorite pokemon is magikarp but i would probably be exploudKristen: And now I'm just imagining Magikarp with Alex's hair.Jojo: ugh. why do you have to ask me this. now I have to get out my list of literally every pokemon... Either Eevee, Dratini, or Chatot. OR RIOLU! riolu is a goodie. I have  a feeling Scott would be a Buneary but that's not my place to say.Kristen: Good choices JoojJojo: /);w;(\Split: Kristens a torchic that never evolves lmaoKristen: NO ...maybe.Jojo: I actually thought about it. I have the perfect pokemon for youKristen: ...alright, hit me.Alex: Ok.

Kristen: OW! Alex why? ;A;Alex: You said hit me.Split: PffffhahahaJojo:  #742, Cutiefly.

Kristen: ...I mean. It is smol and blonde, which I currently am.Split: Yep. It you. Congrats.Kristen: SIGH I mean. It’s very cute.Jojo: By the way I think that’s it’s actual size.Split: LMAOJojo: OH MY GOD IT’S LITERALLY KRISTEN

Kristen: NOSplit: I call being the trainer of this band of misfitsKristen: I’M SMOL BUT NOT THAT SMOL!Jojo: You are that smol.Split: Joj shes like an inch or two shorter than youJojo: NO?? SHE’S LIKEKristen: HA!Jojo: SHH! THAT’S NOT TRUEKristen: IT’S TOTALLY TRUEAlex: "The wild Kristen eats approximately ten times her body weight each day"Split: If only.Jojo: ohmygodkristenI found your other one

Kristen: NOSplit: Joj that ones youKristen: He's right it's smol and blueAlex: yeah that's youJojo:  NO IM A RIOLUSplit: Which one was thatAlex: babby lucarioJojo: That boy

Split: But are you sureJojo: YES THAT'S MEKristen: Why do you get to be the cool oneAlex: i still think dratini is best choice for jojKristen: I agree.Split: Are you baby martial artist or baby huggy bearJojo: I AM STRONG YOU FUCKAlex: huggy bear it isSplit: But do you fightJojo: YESSplit: BullshitJojo:  DUKE UP YOU CHEEKY POPPETSplit: AightKristen: I can't believe Jooj is a huggy bearJojo: NoOooOo IM DRATINISplit: Thats the snake one right? The long blue dragon snake.Alex: 

Jojo: yeSplit: Oh yuh thats also joj. I still think huggy bear but ill settle for dratini.Jojo: even looks like my fursona holy shitSplit: Secrets outJojo: MOTHERFUCKER YOU HUUGGY BEAR. it's not really a secret anymoreSplit: It never wasssssKristen: I can't believe Jojo gets to be a fucking dragon and I'm a tiny fly that eats 10 times its bodyweight. Oh it's bug/fairy. I guess that's interesting.Jojo: hehehefairyAlex: real talk i based it on the math that an average human eats 2.5 kg of cooked food per dayKristen: Huh, interestingSplit: We gave you so many options other than the .4 inch bug thing kristenKristen: ....I mean I can see Cutiefly, Fletching or Torchick tbhJojo: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE UNIT

HIS NAME. IS BUZZSWOLE.Kristen: lmao that looks like a Digimon. Is that real?Walrus: He is real. And he will punch your spirit.Kristen: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OKAlex: you question the might of our lord and savior buzzwoleJojo: no he'll punch everything and then literally use your spirit as a sweat rag! LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN JOJO ASS CHARACTER!Split: It took me a whole 2 seconds to realize you meant the anime and not yourself(edited)Alex: our joj does have bizarre adventures to be fairSplit: You right you rightJojo: :,)Split: I could just hear your soul crackJojo: I'm glad. anyway look at this other kristen pokemon.

Kristen: No, I am drawing the line, no. You can't keep googling "what's the most harmless looking dust mote of a pokemon" and then say IT'S KRISTENJojo: NOO THAT'S NOT TRUE I'll tell you what. if you were a legendary pokemon you'd be Jirachi. that mf is p o w e r f u lKristen: Aw gosh. Wait didn’t we say MG would be edgy jirachi?Alex: her original character a jirachi-darkrai fusionJojo: I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT DARKRAI or a very smol GiratinaKristen: I do not know enough about this pokemon to comment.Alex: Giratina is Pokemon Satan.Kristen: Ah. Okay. Of course. Of course Pokemon Satan is a thing.Alex: 

Kristen: ...Oh it’s MG.Split: I distinctly remember pokemon satan ending up being a good guyJojo: so was darkraiKristen: I can't believe you just spoiled DMP and now I gotta cancel it.Alex: Satan: He's An Alright Guy!Split: P sure darkrai killed kidsKristen: ...it's fine don't worry about itAlex: Movie Darkrai was alright I thought? There are a whole lot of child murderin' pokemon out there to be fair.Split: Oh movie darkrai was futily attempting to stop the collapse of the universeIf i remember rightJojo: he also became attached to a childSplit: Big shrug on that sub plot its been yearsAlex: we have one hundred percent abandoned the original question. welcome to internet remixKristen: Yeeeep. Getting back on topic, I think Split would be Absol or Houndoom.Jojo: OOOOHHH I didn’t even think of AbsolSplit: Nah im the trainer

Alex: but consider: girafarigSplit: What isAlex: mostly i chose it because "aesthetic"

Kristen: PFFFT HAHAHASplit: Nah. Meanwhile, Kristen callin out my favorite pokemon as a kid. Regardless ive already grabbed a hat, tell tale sign of any trainer. Ive started walking the path every 13 year old must walk in their livesKristen: Pretty sure trainers start at 10?Split: Nah i mean im leaving my region for new boundsKristen: So brave. Anyway I’m trying to think of others. I'm trying to think of others. My brain keeps telling me that Alex is Entei. Tol and floofy and can burn things. But that's a legendary.Jojo: oooo I think he had a good pick of  exploud. Buuut I also think he'd be an Ursaring. 

Dawn: For me I tried to think of literally any water pokemon for me but lets be real here

Alex: I mean.Dawn: b0rfJuno: If I could be any nonlegendary mon it would be Golurk1) Giant Robot2) Can fly with rocket boosters3) Causes earthquakesTex: Umm. Hm. Something that was a mix of fire, dragon, and psychic. Like I know u can't get three. But listen.Walrus: w-walrein exists. so i meanJuno: MY TIME HAS COME

Walrus: HAHHhhhhWHEN THE FUCKHUHWHATI FORGOT OR DIDN'T SEE THISHONAtwas:  YO that's so fucking cool! To answer the prompt, I'd probably be a Zoroark.Kristen: Good choices.Scott: Could BE a non-legendary?Jojo: Hold on wait. let me guess: bunearyScott: No, that's what I would want to HAVE. Hm. This is actually tough. Maybe Altaria? It's a flying Pokemon that sings beautiful melodies and has a relatively average speed.I don't know. I'd want to be a Pokemon that was kind and graceful with musical qualities, if at all possible. So yeah, I guess AltariaKristen: I can see that.Juno: Also you're fluffyShyner: Hooooly shit there's a lot of stuff hereI feel bad about adding to this massive wall of content but I'm just putting down for the record that I would definitely be basic bitch eevee. I'll change my form for you, just please love me :,)Kristen: ;A; I LOVE EEVEE JUST THE WAY EEVEE ISJuno: eevee... babey

[ducknotinarow]

[2k3 2k12 cross over]

God his head was spinning! Casey grunted as he got back onto his feet, taking a moment to find his balance. Geese what a fight! It had completely taken him out - though for how long he didn’t know. What also didn’t make sense was the fact he was alone - shit, he hopes Raphs okay

Cupping his hands around his mouth, he began to call out,

“Raph!! Raphael!!! Yer seriously didn’t leave me did’yer?!”

He was being dumb, nothing new there. Figuring staying the floor was the worst idea, Casey headed to the roofs and started to search. It took a while, but he soon saw a familiar red mask, tails billowing in the breeze. Casey gave a faint sigh of relief,

“There yer are Raph,” he soon huffs, “Kinda rude as fuck t’ leave yer boyfriend’ behin’ like that yanno - but I guess I’ll forgive yer, yanno, for a kiss~”

He laughs a little, only stopping now that he gets a real good look at them from behind his mask,

“Uuuh, yer gotta new look or somethin’?” He asks, “Yer look taller,” not quite as tall as him though, “Darker green too, no eyes on show either,” clearly disappointed, but Casey still grins, “Still look good babe, real fuckin’ good.”

And there he is, giving ‘fuck me eyes’ from behind his hockey mask. Now if only he could stop being horny for 2 seconds to realise this wasn’t his Raphael

| muse interaction

“Raph!! Raphael!!! Yer seriously didn’t leave me did’yer?!”

Raphael swore he hear his name being called out just now, as if being carried out by the wind. As he was going about a solo run right now, leaping from roof to roof. Eyeing out any action that might be going on that he could get in the middle of. But seemed the city didn't have much to offer a slight huff under his breath maybe he should hit Dragon territory? Casey likely was there himself now. But that was when he heard it it. Enough to get his attention off being bored he just couldn't place the voice? Sure maybe there was some other Raphael being called out to right now? it wasn't impossible but nah he always relied on his gut and right now his gut was telling the turtle to check this out.

So he set out to make his way toward the sound, crouching down on the edge of the the roof as he peered down to the street. It sounded like it was coming from the streets before, as eyes were focused on the ground narrowing into a sharp glare, that feeling in his gut just wasn't going away something was up. He hated that he could feel it but couldn't seem to see what was causing it. like it was leaving him on the edge. Moving suddenly at the faint sound of a breath behind him as he turned on his heels finding...a kid. Least he thinks?

They were dressed in all black, from the hoodie covered in what may just be different colors of paint, well the sleeves torn by the shoulders layer on top a long sleeve black shirt. To Black jeans, a white hockey mask, painted up like a skull covering their face outside thier large brown eyes and hood pulled up over their head.

“There yer are Raph,”

Okay so that answered some things he been wondering, they did know him but try as Raph might he couldn't place this kid at all? He felt like this get up should be easy to recall for sure. Only guy he knew that went around in a hockey mask was well Casey.

“Kinda rude as fuck t’ leave yer boyfriend’ behin’ like that yanno - but I guess I’ll forgive yer, yanno, for a kiss~”

"..my what?" Was all Raph could say looking them over closely "Casey?" he questioned but there was no way this was Casey. Casey was huge, a giant of a person. Built like an ox and huge as a one too. This guy? Was as scrawny and one could get. The bit of skin he could make out was pale as all hell. They were laughing as if part of the joke going on her but it left Raph wondering what was wrong with this kid. Keeping distance between them but he did step a bit closer. Despite the spikes on the hockey gear they were weaning as padded he was pretty sure from how relaxed they were holding themself that they weren't going to pull something. Not that Raph felt this kid was any threat to him. Arms folding over his chest as they seemed to get a closer look now.

“Uuuh, yer gotta new look or somethin’?”

Brow rises up a little, Raph hasn't changed?

“Yer look taller,”

Raphael did hit a growth spurt sometime ago but yeah no he still didn't know who this kid was not to mention he was still stuck on them calling themself his boyfriend. Sure Casey was an idiot but he wasn't THIS much of an idiot.

“Darker green too, no eyes on show either,”

"my eyes?" not so focused on the remark about his skin tone being different apparently really this kid should take in all these differences they were point out about Raphael. It should be enough to clue them in that something was right. Raphael? yeah only so few people knew what his eyes looked like. Others would just assume his brothers and him didn't have eye colors but there was some clear disappointment in this kids voice when they said it. This was driving Raph nuts how the fuck did this kid know him sort of but also not know him? For a moment the turtle started to wonder if this was actually Casey, he was pretty aware they liked his eyes but? no Casey knows they keep them hidden away when the mask was on so?

“Still look good babe, real fuckin’ good.”

Raph now takes a step back again easily reading the expression in their eyes. Of course, Raphael knew a set of 'fuck me eyes' when he saw them cause well he gave Casey them a lot. Okay yeah this was..this was weird.

"Kid the fuck is wrong with ya, did ya land on your fuckin' head or somethin' ?" Raphael soon asks. Even more wondering who the fuck they were and what the hell was going on. Waving his hand so to express a go away motion at them as he made his way to the edge of the building ready to jump over to the next roof "Now scram kid I ain't got time to play around with some nut case." Maybe he should be a bit more cautious seeing as this kid seemed to know of him at least. Yeah that part is weird? He knows for sure he don't know this kid. He paused a second and looked back at them. Something was familiar but still so very off? he couldn't explain it. Looking over his shoulder a moment it was pretty clear this kid would just follow him anyway. They clearly had some or all their screws lose. Look how they were dressed and running around like that? What did they think they were some hero? yeah the get up did remind him of Casey but Casey was a full grown adult not some stupid kid.

He reach up and dragged his fingers over his face, even if the kid didn't follow him they looked like they get into trouble. Raph couldn't explain how he knew that he just KNEW. He grounds his teeth and growls a little to himself annoyed. Turning back around and walking over a bit "Don't annoy me" he warns aiming a finger at them. "ya clearly lost so tell me where ya live can at 'east make sure ya get home safe yeah?"

[ravenofthefandoms]

Here are my thoughts on S8E1!

Since these have been sitting in my notes for awhile, here ya go. Just anything that I thought about (or yelled at my screen about) while watching the episode at 2AM (that’s when it aired in Ireland (I’m not Irish tho just studying abroad))

- A boss fight between Euron and the Mountain would be lowkey cool like I wanna see Euron fuck up the Mountain JUST to see the look on Cersei’s face

- Cersei really wanted those damn elephants

- A boss fight between Euron and Yara and/or Theon would be AMAZING

- Jon is literally just an example that Targaryen blood isn’t as strong as the Targaryens think it is (and maybe even proof that Stark blood is stronger??)

- How DARE Jon cheat on Ygritte by even tHINKING of fuckin Dany in that cave how dare he I am so angery that is his thing with Ygritte

- I cried like an actual bitch within the first ten minutes this season is gonna wreck me

- I don’t understand how Cersei thinks she’s gonna beat the white walkers. They have no Valyrian steel, no dragonlass, only her crazy wildfire shit that I have a feeling will backfire on her or sum like that

- The guy from the Golden Company is actually hot damn who is he and I hope we see more of him

- Everyone: Northerns are stubborn. They’re loyal. They don’t like outsiders. They don’t trust people they don’t trust.

  Daenerys: ...

  Daenerys: y no like me¿

- I love that Dany thinks she’s a bad bitch just cuz she has dragons. Sansa will WRECK HER ASS if she EVER threatens her or her family (or really any northerner) like that again and tbh I hope it happens

- Arya reuniting with everyone makes me so happy fuck it uP bitch

- When Sandor said “you’re a cold bitch” he really meant “I missed you and I’m proud that you survived”

- I think Gendry is lowkey into BDSM cuz he really wants Arya to fuck him up with that knife

- Since Jon doesn’t want to be king in the north lets just make Sansa the queen cuz obviously that will work 1000000 times better

- Sansa knows what’s up she ain’t playin this “i’m JUST tryna save the north” shit

- Sam is still adorable I love it my cuddly muffin

- Dany realizing she killed Sam’s famioli cracks me up it’s just such an “oh shit” moment for her cuz she never thought she’d meet the victims of her temper tantrums :)))

- HOW DARE DAENERYS MAKE SAM CRY AND HE’S STILL POLITE AS FUCK HOW FUCKING DARE SHE I AM LIVID

- awww they have little statues for the direwolves in the crypts

- JON AND SAM REUNITED SO CUTE OMFG AND JON WAS WORRIED ABOUT LIL SAM AND GILLY

- I love when Jon does his little side shuffle thing when walking forward when he’s like “bitch wut”

- As much as he hates to admit it, Jon would be a WAY better ruler than Dany

- I’m glad that Tormund is alive he and Brienne still need to make their giant babies

- “I’vE aLWayS hAd BLue eyEs”

- Aww cute lil Ned Umber he was such a cutie when he popped his lil head out when he was called on also that was some freaky shit that I didn’t ask for GoT isn’t a fuckin horror series

- Jaime seeing Bran again is a BIIIIIIG OOF moment but I feel like Bran is gonna be like “nah its chill famioli I’m the three eyed raven now so thanks actually”

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

2 big posts in one day? it’s more likely than you think!!!

Moze gameplay breakdown babey here we go

shit sorry i forgot my tl;dr the first time i posted this: the tablet is big important and might have eridian writing on it, it ties into the temple, the loot gun, the tablet in tannis’s infirmary on sanc-iii, and the planet holograms in Eleseer from TPS. also you get a special melee tool to break the purple crystals that i'm like 70% sure are Eridium and also, you’re never gonna believe this, but I talk about Atlas for a little bit because of it.

“lair of the harpy”

ah harpies. I’m shifting into Percy Jackson mode

just putting this out there

anyway as for what “Lair of the Harpy” means in bl3? Well we’ve seen in the We Are Mayhem trailer a bunch of flying Maliwan bots (i am assuming rn that those are Maliwan, anyway)

these green fucks

(u can tell that’s Jakobs Manor cause of the railing on the left) so i imagine that’s why it’s called the Lair of the Harpy. Could also be the lair of some evil woman character, idk lmao. 

Far more interesting than the Harpy thing, to me anyway, is this:

i wonder if that’s gonna lead us to the psycho basement with tv heads being hanged where the Hammerlock siblings are standing in front of the fireplace

i wonder...

nah but for real. I would almost bet money that the Vault on Eden-6 is in that giant volcano/mountain area. It just feels right. we’ve seen it both dormant (the leaked footage) and active (the 3rd trailer) so I imagine opening the Vault would cause it to activate. Tho I’m still hoping onto the hope that it’s a moon pool. Just saying, Randy, if you’re reading this... just saying.

we also see this glowing sparkle icon again, which I think pretty much confirms from the We are Mayhem trailer that those will show us where the Moxxi crew quests are.

we see an enemy called “Shredder Fanatic”, personally I’m a fan of Splinter, but to each their own. Uhhh but for realsies they probably deal some blade damage or have a high RoF weapon. 

a cool detail I noticed about the minimap is that elevated areas won’t get discovered until you reach that level. Thank god lol

part of this camp is made out of an old sailboat, which i think is pretty fuckin rad

makes me wonder if we’re ever going to see the areas of Pandora affected by the flash freeze again. How long do seasons last on Pandora again? I swear it was like 5 years or smth. oh well lol

i wanna know what this big thing is!! it looks cool. they mentioned that eden-6 was going to have a shitload of broken-down ships, so maybe this is related to it?

another look at what i'm assuming is Jakobs Manor. this is very hard because I keep getting distracted by the gameplay lol I’ve seen this video seven times! it shouldn’t be that enthralling!! and yet!

the combat music in this area is so fucking solid btw i am jamming the hell out

in awe at the size of this place. I’m digging the elevated hallway. i am very much getting a hogwarts vibe from here. the far right looks like an observatory, even.

“Big Donny’s Chop Shop - Open 7 Days” lmao

a gramophone and it looks like we can interact with it! i hope it plays classical music while we go on a murder spree

some sort of bridge? i assume that’s how you actually get up to Jakobs Manor. that may be why our quest is “go to Jakobs Manor”, we gotta fix the bridge before we can.

A Typhon journal!!!

No audio, though :( 

From the radio: “catastrophe lead [???] to a lets play (flay?). Craving some meat in a bite sized package? then try festy flesh meats with a bandit on the go. hey, we know you want it, but do you have the time to hunt it down? ...”

-moxxi speaking about her crew challenge i can’t understand the radio here-

[different voice] “... for an exciting announcement from the CoV’s own ministers of murder: Pain and Terror! Those guys are cooking up one hell of a sh-” [player turns off radio] I gonna assume he was about to say “show” cause they’re a Penn and Teller reference. These are the guys from the arena with the giant skull thing, i think i have talked about them before?

Eden-6′s version of the shock cactus?

El Dragon Jr.

OwO are those the same purple rocks as Promethea?

They look like they are growing out of a stone tablet, i mean look at the green light. also they have that same star pattern inside them as Amara’s arms and Maya’s phaselock!!! Which makes me think it’s raw Eridium just... growing out of a stone tablet. which IS WILD!!!

AND WHAT IS MOZE HITTING IT WITH?!

FUCKING ENERGY BLADE

that is not her normal melee weapon, BY THE WAY

she normally uses her Stab! knife!!!

when u try to break the purple rocks on Promethea, iirc the player character can say something to the effect of “have to come back here later”, so it’s possible later in the story we get something (the glowing red/orange/yellow) energy sword to break the purple rocks (eridium???). and yes you KNOW i pointed out the colors because Atlas.

After meleeing it, Moze says “let’s open you up” so im wondering if maybe those stone tablets come into play later? the (eridium?) crystals explode into sparkly purple powder

glowing green!!!! It’s weird, I feel like these are eridian ruins/tablets growing eridium or some shit. we’ve seen the ruins have lines of color across them before, but never strictly on one side. and also never saw them grow eridium. i wonder if that is a reaction to us opening the second vault on pandora? eridium grew on pandora from the 1st one, now it’s spreading because of the second? I deffo think Eridium is from the second dimension (it started growing on pandora after the opening of the Vault) and it’s our key to getting there. 

OwO

hey doesn’t that look familiar? I’ll give u like

10 seconds

...

...

yeah it’s the symbol from the gun

YEAH BABEY

AND GUESS WHAT

YOU KNOW HOW THE GUN WAS TIED TO THE TEMPLE

YOU KNOW HOW I WAS TALKING ABOUT TANNIS’S FLOOR TILE IN HER INFIRMARY ALSO BEING TIED TO THE TEMPLE AREA???

LET ME GO GRAB IT

THE TEMPLE

AND YOU KNOW I WAS REPLAYING TPS THE OTHER DAY FOR MY ANGEL ANALYSIS AND

FUCKING

ASGHDJUYKFDJTYHSRTAGR

THAT’S LABELING A PLANET IN THE HOLOGRAM

AAAAAAAAAAAAA THE ERIDIANS GAVE US A LOOT SPEWING GUN BUT THE GUN MAKES SENSE BECAUSE VAULTS VOMIT UP LOOT ALL THE TIME BUT IT’S NOT LIKE THE LOOT WE GOT WAS AROUND WHEN THE ERIDIANS CREATED THE VAULTS

ALSO I AM VERY CONCERNED THAT CORPSE IN THE TEMPLE IS TYPHON NOW AND THE BOOK IS HIS JOURNAL. WHY WOULD MAYA BE GIVING THE JOURNAL TO THE LITTLE GIRL? IS SHE ALSO RELATED TO TYPHON?

OKAY SORRY I GOT EXCITED but uh yeah idk if that writing/those symbols being the same was intentional or not but it exists and i'm losing my mind over it

i also just wanna know why the rocks are growing eridium and glowing green like what the fuck are your SECRETS 

Aurelia shows up as you cross the checkpoint at the bridge, so it’s pretty much 100% confirmed the Hammerlocks are helping us with the jakobs thing. considering Aurelia is contacting us and not Alistar, im REALLY worried about the shot in the We Are Mayhem trailer where he has red eyes. please don’t hurt him. also i love how Aurelia calls herself a rich bitch. she makes that shit rhyme lol

another look at that big tower thing. May be a different one, actually. idk!

round the corner and see a little camp on the left. through that tunnel up ahead leads us here

we head to the right and Zer0 ECHOs us, asking us to kill someone to complete a crew challenge

The target’s name is Heckle (and his rage name is Hyde)

Interestingly he has a megaphone strapped to his mouth

wild.

Lots of stuff! Zer0 sends you mail for killing the target and you are informed that the Crew Challenge is completed. You also get a challenge completed for doing it. You ever notice the actual gameplay of borderlands is very tied to yellow and blue? the color of the title is yellow and the vault symbol for it is red (except for TPS). just odd to me idk

looks like a little envelope icon appears under your minimap when you have mail in your inbox!

we can see some cryo freezing the swamp water here! that’s my favorite thing. the electricity is cool, but ice is cooler.

i love the way this dude runs. also we now know that his pickaxe is to burrow his way into the ground

looks like it will create a huge pink cloud so you know when its about to happen, giving you time to stop it. nice.

getting closer. guess that wasn’t an observatory after all. Awww mannn

lootsplosion from the loot tink

bigger lootsplosion from his bag

i believe this is our first look at an ‘artifact’ which are replacing relics from bl2 and oz kits from tps. and like the interviews said, they’ll be effecting movement! this one turns your slide damage into cryo damage, lets you deal more radiation damage overall, and allows you to slide faster and further. i wonder how broken this can get on a downwards slope with a super high level slide relic. let’s break the sound barrier!

anyway, that’s all i saw that caught my eye. I still haven’t completed my Mask of Mayhem analysis, I was kinda hoping something during E3 would help me figure out who those mystery robed maliwan guys are on it, but alas we got nothing of real substance. oh, i also gotta finish that mural piece... aw fuck

[naberiie]

Type Advantages

A  Pokémon x Campaignverse fic, 2.2k for @evaceratops ‘s birthday! Happy birthday Eva, I love you! 💌 Ft. appearances from Volya [ @leopoldjamesfitz ], Misi/Tip/literally every single trooper[ @mandowo ] and Brider [ @stxrduste ]! Special shoutout to @mandowo for helping me figure out everyone’s Pokémon 😄

It wasn’t her fault, really. How was she supposed to have known that Azlin’s Cacturne apparently had a deathly fear of Fairy type Pokémon? And how was she supposed to have known that her Eeevee, Cannoli, had been so close to evolving into a Sylveon, of all things?

Jedi Shadow Azlink Eko and civilian archivist Amaranth Elsheva stood on opposite ends of their room, staring and frowning at the scene before them. Ama was in the cabin, by the bunk she’d claimed as hers – Misi had said they were staying in what had been marked as the nat-born officers’ rooms, but he hadn’t explained why they weren’t already occupied – and Azlin was standing outside the door, arms crossed, behind the cowering dark green scarecrow Pokémon.

Ama’s Sylveon was sitting on the console table in the center of the room, his ribbons slowly twisting in midair and looking entirely too pleased with himself at the Cacturne who was refusing to even think about taking a single step over the threshold. Azlin’s beautiful Absol was lazily curled up on her bunk, watching the scene with lazy interest.

They’d been at this standoff for the better part of fifteen minutes.

“That’s just Cannoli, you big dummy,” Azlin said, poking Cacturne in between its gigantic thorns. “You already know him, remember? We’ve been sharing the room with them for a week now, he’s just evolved now, it’s the same old Cannoli in new colors, that’s all.”

Ama’s lekku twitched with tiredness. “I’m really sorry, Az – I could see if Brider or Volya wanted to switch rooms with me-”

The Keshian Jedi was already shaking her head. “Nah, don’t be ridiculous. We’re not in a battle scenario right now and Cacturne knows that,” she poked it again in between its spikes. “It knows Cannoli. We just need to, I don’t know. Remind it?” She jerked her chin towards her Absol, also a Dark type. “Absol isn’t reacting like this, and she’s also a Dark type. Cacturne’s just being a big baby.”

Cacturne rumbled in mild offense, but still refused to budge over the threshold to the cabin.

Ama nodded, and from Azlin’s bunk, Absol gave a huge, overdramatic yawn.

“Yeah, me too,” Ama said, and fished out a Poké Puff (matcha flavored, Cannoli ’s favorite) from her bag. She tore it into three pieces and gave one to Absol, who all but inhaled it and tried to lick her face as thanks. Ama laughed and wiped her cheek as she held out the other piece to the stubborn Cacturne in front of her, and to her smug Cannoli behind her. “Come on, you guys are friends, right?”

Something told her Cannoli was only all too pleased to finally have some power of his own for once, but he chirped an assent all the same and tried to sneak the Poké Puff piece from her hands.

She’d started the day with an Eevee, but had ended it with a Sylveon.

EARLIER THAT DAY

Ama lifted her legs so that Cannoli and Jedi Knight Volya Doneeta’s Eevee could wrestle each other without bumping into her as she and the other Twi’lek chatted over their dinner, featuring fusion Twi’lek and Mandalorian dishes and taste palettes. Ama, Popper, and Flimsi had spent the better part of the day experimenting in the Mercurial’s kitchens, and judging from the happy conversations of the troopers around them, they’d managed to pull it off well.

As per usual, the Mercurial was stuffed to the rafters with the 439th’s Pokémon. At first, the presence of so many Ghost-types had made Ama shiver, but as she tried to coax General Misi’s Mimikyu to take a tiny piece of Poké Puff, she realized they hadn’t spooked her (literally – Virus’ Rotom had leapt out of her holopad the first full day on the ship and almost made her throw it across the room) in quite some time.

Mimikyu took the Puff with a ghostly tendril and Ama beamed at it before it scurried back up onto Misi’s shoulder.

The ship was a delightfully chaotic mess of troopers, Jedi, the lone civilian, and all of their Pokémon. Most had two or three, and while they had presumably been caught in a Pokéball of some sort, neither Ama or Azlin – who shared quarters – had seen a Pokéball since they’d arrived on board. The troopers all let their Pokémon wander freely, and soon enough, the librarians and Shadow had followed suit. Azlin’s sleek, silent Absol wandered the halls alone, and Ama’s tiny Comfrey had taken to settling on people’s heads for a few minutes at a time, for no other reason than to say hello. Ama scanned the mess and found it on Zero’s mass of bright purple hair as they begged Null to take their picture, who was rolling her eyes fondly, even as she lifted the camera and leaned back to get a better angle.

Cannoli hopped onto Ama’s lap, and she gave him a fond little scratch behind his huge perky ears. He chirruped happily at her, jumped up on the table, licked her nose – and then Cannoli started to glow. Ama had just enough time to cock her head and frown before the entire mess hall was overtaken in a blinding flash of brilliant white and bright blue light.

Ama yelped in surprise and threw her arms over her eyes as the light drowned all conversations and people scrambled to do the same.

When she opened her eyes to peer through her fingers, a Pokémon with giant pink ears, huge baby blue eyes, and a delicate pink-and-white bow was staring at her where her Eevee had just been. It whistled happily at her, and then the hall exploded into chaos.

Azlin’s Cacturne, which had investigating a Poffin in Burn’s hand, gave a shrill cry and backed away quickly from the new Fairy type, and all of the Dark, Fighting, and Dragon Pokémon in the room did the same. They took to the air, cawing and shrieking in confusion and apprehension, while Ama just stared at her new Pokémon, stunned.

The only Pokémon that didn’t react was Trooper.

The Houndoom picked its head up from its paws from where it had been lying at Half-Arc’s feet and, as the various other doubly-vulnerable types in the mess kicked up a shrill cacophony of shrieks and calls, Trooper stood, stretched lazily, and ambled over to the table where Ama’s new Sylveon was busily preening himself. Trooper easily sidestepped the smaller Pokémon scampering around his feet, tiny potato-shaped Houndour M’ika included (tripping over its paws in its attempts to keep up with the older Pokémon), and put its nose on the table in front of Cannoli , deep red eyes focused intently on the new form sitting calm and unconcerned with the hurricane that he had started.

Cannoli ’s huge eyes were now entirely a light baby blue, almost the exact same color as Voy, who was trying to help Azlin with her spooked Cacturne.

The Sylveon stopped preening and its new ribbons flicked out gently over Trooper’s snout and horns, before Cannoli stepped closer to the edge of the table and both Pokémon sniffed each other curiously. After a moment, the old Houndoom sat back on its haunches and Cannoli leapt nimbly to the floor to rub fondly up against the Dark Pokémon. M’ika yipped happily and all but threw its dense little body against Cannoli, too, much to the delight of Houndoom-the-trooper, who had moved from the other table to sit next to Ama and watch the interaction between the two Dark types and the brand-new Fairy.

Houndoom dug out a treat from his belt pouch and gave on to both Trooper and M’ika. “Good job, you two,” he said happily, obviously very pleased with the more-or-less calm reactions his Pokémon were having to the sudden appearance of a super-effect Fairy type.

When he caught sight of Ama’s morose, guilt-ridden face, Houndoom-the-trooper laughed again, not unkindly. He patted her shoulder and said, “Congratulations on the evolution, neverd’ika. Isn’t there a Dark-type gym somewhere near your level on Coruscant? Bet you could absolutely kick the Gym Leader’s as- uh, butt, now,” Houndoom said, quickly covering the curse as Misi’s young Padawan, Tip, raced by, chasing after their Toxicroak and Tyrogue.

Ama winced and called after them, “Sorry, Tip…!”

The vibrant bright blue and red Nautolan waved as they raced down the next row of scattered benches, panting a little as they called back to her, “S’okay!”

Ama sank back to the bench and rubbed her cheek, watching Cannoli and M’ika as they started to play around the extremely calm Trooper, who had settled back down and seemed to be sleeping again.

Well, at least they’re getting along.

Ama was caught between furiously apologizing to the upended, chaotic mess and pride at this unexpected evolution. A Sylveon!

Misi was just laughing as the troopers of the 439th and Azlin struggled to get their spooked Pokémon under control, laughing so hard he almost fell out of his seat. “Excellent fuckin’ timing, ‘Sheva,” he crowed with delight, wiping his eyes but breaking out in fresh peals of laughter when he caught sight of Azlin trying to pull her Cacturne from the corner. The giant, dark green cactus scarecrow was staring distrustfully at the tiny pink-and-white Sylveon where there had only been a non-threatening Eevee just moments before.

Misi’s Mimikyu was sitting on his shoulder, its false stuffed head lolling against Misi’s as it stared down at Trooper and Cannoli, and then, with a graceful little leap, it floated down to the floor like a leaf on the wind to join the investigation party. M’ika cheerfully yipped again, but Mimikyu simply slipped over the little puppy Pokémon and came to a stop in front of Cannoli. The corners of the old Pikachu disguise waved slightly, and then one of Mimikyu’s ghostly tendrils reached out to touch Cannoli ’s pink-and-white-and-blue ribbons.

Brider – her tiny Joltik centered squarely on the top of her head, gently clicking its mandibles together – leaned down to look at Cannoli, giving him her hand to sniff. “I didn’t know you had taught Cannoli a Fairy-type move, Ama! He’s gorgeous.”

Cannoli purred at her, sitting up taller in pride – until M’ika bowled into him and knocked him askance. Numbly, Ama remembered that she’d taught Cannoli the move Charm not too long ago. It had gotten him out of trouble more times than she could count; he hadn’t been a particularly strong Eevee, because she’d never had the time to train him properly. “I didn’t even realize he was going to evolve…”

That just made Misi start laughing all over again, and even though Azlin now had a thoroughly spooked Cacturne on her hands, she smiled at Cannoli too.

Ama was immensely relieved that the intimidating Shadow wasn’t mad at her.

That might all change now, though, as they were nearly twenty-five minutes of Cacturne refusing to enter the room.

Cannoli’s smugness was obviously starting to wear down. He hopped nimbly off the console table – Absol didn’t even open her eyes from Azlin’s bed – and took a cautious step towards Cacturne, who immediately froze and gave Cannoli its most intimidating look.

Azlin sighed. “Normally I’d either suggest going into your Pokéball, but I think that’s last resort, or I’d suggest that you’re free to wander the ship – but I don’t want to accidentally terrify anyone who was coming around a corner. Hm…”

Cannoli gave a curious little whistle, and Ama got an idea. “Wait – I think I might have a brown lekku scarf somewhere…” She gave Absol the rest of the Puff, wiped her fingers, and pointed to the console table. Cannoli leapt up obediently.

As Azlin and her terrified Cacturne watched, Ama dug through her not-insignificant lekku scarf supply, until she held up a deep earthen scarf high up in triumph. Cannoli made a face at the color – and Ama couldn’t exactly blame him, now that he had such beautiful pink, blue, and white fur – but she wrapped it carefully around his little frame anyways. “I know it won’t hide his new type, but it might make Cacturne feel better if he didn’t look so obviously a Fairy type-”

No sooner had she stepped back did Cacturne bowl straight into the room. Azlin laughed in surprise as Cacturne made straight for Absol, trying to steal the last bites of Poké Puff from her. Cannoli sat heavily on his haunches, but when Ama produced a matcha Puff just for him, he seemed to forgive her the egregious error of such a bland-colored scarf.

“Unorthodox, but it works,” Azlin commented happily as she separated Absol and Cacturne. “We’ll work on it more, so Cannoli doesn’t have to always wear that. He shouldn’t have to, but apparently-” one last fond pat on Cacturne’s pointed head, “-this one’s a bit of a ‘fraidy cat.”

Ama laughed and gestured to Cannoli, who was happily working his way through the treat, “Well, who wouldn’t be terrified of this little guy?”

As if on cue, Cannoli gave a ferocious little growl to the Puff between his paws, and Azlin threw her head back and laughed, and Ama couldn’t help but laugh, too.

[saltyafmf-blog]

Davos, Edd and Tormund & BRIENNE OF FUCKING TARTH, also why Daenarys isn't the one for Jon(also I'm the Valonqar of Jonareys)

Ever since Jon and Sansa reunited the intense breathing, the constant eye fucking that they do with each other and all of that innappropiate tension, three men and Brienne, have literally been the only few people in the show to see the tension, like when Dadvos said "jon isn't a stark" and sansa replies "no, but I am"

She literally and very subtly proposed to Jon, and Davos and Edd shoot a look at each other

Like our Boi GRRM, Jon has a major thing for redheads, partly because Catelyn never gave him love, so in a way Jon tries to find a redhead that he can get validation as well as support, and Jon does the same for Sansa, he understands how she felt after everything she went through (Joffery, Ramsey & littlefinger and in the books there's like 2 other dudes who want Sansa's claim to winterfell) so she's been abused, raped and defiled, she feels at her strongest when Jon is with her, he also sees her need for recognition, remember Jon would have died at the BoTB or as I like to say bastardbowl, if Sansa hadn't gone to Moat Cailin to get the KoTV, Jon would have been food for Ramsay's dogs, it was her who won the battle. All being said and done, Jon does feel indebted to Sansa, she was in the prime leadership spot, but Northern Lords crowned Jon, he doesn't want the Crown, but he doesn't want Sansa to be fucked over by the power the Northern Crown gives her, he loves her and wants to protect her.

Also just wanted to point out that Jon didn't tell Danny much, she knows about Robb and Rickon, then later finds out that Arya and Bran are alive, which only happened because the raven was sent to Dragonstone and seen as Danny controls the area, she's obviously gonna know what's on the scroll. Then there's the whole Jon dying thing that was abruptly stopped by Jon when Dadvos said "he gave his own lif-" then later Danny sees that he was stabbed. Also Jon knew Maester Aemon Targaryen, why didnt Jon say anything? He doesn't trust her, she's impulsive and she's bathed in her own words "fire and blood", Jon gave away as much as SHE needed to know.

And when Jon left WF, Sansa didn't stop looking in Jon's direction the entire fucken time, and the Littlefingers like (hmm, when brothers and sister develop certain feelings towards each other) and then from there, he begins taunting Sansa, by saying "ive heard the silver headed gorgeous devil is beautiful and jon is young and unmarried, then Sansa is like "what?! You think Jon wants to marry her" Littlefinger was purposefully trying to get a reaction out of her, which he got, from both Sansa and Jon and you Jonareys bros have got to admit, there was so much Jealousy coming from Sansa I could smell it from Winterfell to fucking Dorne.

There's also a scene that was deleted or not shot (I can't remember which one) but Jon talks to Ghost before leaving WF, it supposedly says that Jon told Ghost to watch over Sansa, now I know Ghost protects people that Jon cares for as evident when Sam was protecting Gilly from Bros of The Nights Watch beat the shit out of Sam and then Ghost comes in and scares the fuck out of them, but Jon didn't tell Ghost to watch over Sam, yet he told Ghost to watch over Sansa... coincidence.... I think not.

Jon and Sansa Sibling Upbring was literally non existent, they never really had much to say Jon was busy brooding or dodging Catelyn, where Sansa wanted to become a proper Lady, she even says something along the lines of "Jon is jealous of Joffery, but he's sad because he's a bastard" she even asks him to forgive her when they Reunite at Castle Black, who else got shivers when that Hug happened?

Also the background theme music and Clothes worn by Jon and Sansa match like fucking when couples got matching Onesies, like bro when Jon went to Dragonstone he was all clad in black with subtle hints of grey and blue, whereas Sansa and Jon are matching clothes since S7 Ep1. Did anyone else get freaked out about Danny's background themes, the music was Dark and ominous as fuck, also look at how she dressed, she wore scales on her dress when arriving at Dragonstone, but as Jon is there, you can actually see that her outfits are going from less scaley to normal westerosi types of clothes to please Jon, to make herself seem more normal and less dragonlike.

Also when Danny loses her Dornish and Ironborn allies, she wants to use Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal, Davos then says "you'll want to discuss this between yourselves", then Danny says "you will stay" and then proceeds to ask Jon what she should do and Jon gives her that speech, but what I found weird was the look Jon gave her after he said all this, it's like he knows that Danny will listen to him and Tyrion gives sort of weird one, Tyrion by the end of the season has no traction at all with Danny, she's stopped listening and going on Crazy rants, Tyrion understands the consequences of Danny listening to Jon, you guys have got to understand this isn't the first time Jon has played someone, remember the whole Jon/Wilding Arc? It was to show that Jon isn't who you think he is.

Season 7 is SUBTEXT

Then there's Neds Promise to Sansa "when you come of age, I'll find you someone who is worth of you, brave and strong but kind" ahem ahem sounds like Jon... ding ding ding ding we have a winner JON FUCKING BROODING IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE SNOW

It's okay Jonareys shippers, I have come to destroy your fleets and cast you aside, but unlike Danny, I won't set you on fire with a dragon, I'll let Arya behead you bitches, cus if you guys can't see how everything Jon is doing is for the North and who's in the North? Who did the KiTN leave the North too? I mean my man turns into a fucking bear and pins Littlefinger against a wall, like I got sister's who got boyfriends and you don't see or hear of anyone choke slamming a potential suitor into a brick fuckin wall??? Also just to sink your ship even further

Jon - "i'd uh bend the knee but" (everything before the word but is horseshit) I mean look at the Gif below, Daenarys is looking with lust and passion, but Jon looks like he just wants to get it over and done with (in Petyr Baelish's words "when you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, best to close your eyes and get it over with) I AM NOT CALLING DANNY UGLY, I'm just trying to find evidence that matches with what's going on in Westeros

Jon's cold arrival on Dragonstone, she literally takes his boat and Longclaw and says "yeah but nah but yeah, I'm not here to argue grammar" (which is a major ass call back to Season 2 when Danny wants ships)

Jon is the motherfucking Heir to the IT, which weakens Danny's claim to it (She might be the mother of dragons, but law is law, yes she's allowed to go to war for that throne, but westeros has Legitmacy laws, and succession laws, either fucking way, he's got the better claim but so does Gendry) with her being Third in line when Aerys the 2nd was alive, and if you follow succession, it goes Rhaegar, Viserys and then Danny, but because Jon is Rhaegar' s heir he inherits the throne because Rhaegar was meant to inherit the throne after his father's death and after Rhaegar' s death at the Trident, the throne goes to Jon (Also when Ned arrives at the tower of Joy, Ser Arthur Dayne says to "I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, Lord Stark" and they start fighting but Ser Arthur Dayne said that cus he expected Ned to go to war with Robert cus Jon is the king) Also his Queen is in the Gif below

Sansa is the key to the North and Jon knows it, he knows when he's back in the North, the northern lords will be pissed af at him, but if he marries Sansa he gets to keep the North (remember Jon doesn't want the 7K, he wants the North to be secure and free)

Danny is literally 2 fucking Tsar Bombas (really powerful nukes) and when she realises that Jon was playing the game, she is gonna use them (season 2, house of the undying, the visions she has) Kings Landing is literally what Danny wants and I'm more than willing to bet she's gonna turn Drogon and Rhaegal loose on Kings Landing, what do you guys think she's willing to do to the North?

She burnt Poor Dickon and Cunt Randyll, which is Sam's dad and bro, like I know he was a dick, but your dad and your brother is family, and Sam has strong family values, do you really think Jon will be pleased to hear this? I think the fuck not

Also I get a weird feeling Jon is gonna bond with Rhaegal which for Danny *insert "where are my dragons" meme here* (She loves her "kids" and like any mom during a custody battle, it's going to turn Sour)

Also Sansa is a big threat, she not a "stupid little girl" anymore, she's been forming Alliances, she knows Houses from KL and all the way to the wall, Danny might have nukes (dragons) but what she gonna do burn everyone? ("I'm not here to be Queen of the ashes" but bitch if you carry on the way your are, there's gonna be no one left, what she gonna rule over? "A graveyard", when Jon said this something didn't sit right with me

Did anyone notice that when Jon went beyond the wall him and Jorah Mormont had a convo about his kids and Longclaw, the stark theme music started playing and guess who the fak turns up into the Frame???? SANSA MOTHERFUDGING, LEMON CAKE STARK.

My point being it's not gonna work for long between Jon And Danny, it's a song of ice and fire, not ice and fire and fire, also you motherfuckers are okay when Jon is slipping Longclaw into Danny's pussy, who is his aunt ( like who the fuck fucks their aunt?) But you guys can't stomach Jonsa? Got a problem leave it in the comments, I'll fucken slay you with facts fight me turd, also I kind of trailed off here

Also if you guys think Danny's pregnancy is gonna go full term, you guys are clearly fucken dumb, the magic in the world if ice and fire is coming to an end, all the giants are dead, the children of the forrest all but forgotten, and the direwolves will outlive them all but there time will come to an end for men shall outlive them all, for man has no room for Direwolves, eventually they too will die, Danny has two Dragons which are magic, Daenarys is fucken fireproof (She isn't fireproof in the books) that to me sound like magic, I'm not gonna say that Danny is gonna die cus S8 isn't out yet, but if you guys think that there gonna be another Targ baby (born of pure Targaryen lineage) your sadly mistaken, I really do think Danny is barren, Daario Naharis wasn't firing blanks at her, she just can't get preggers. JON WAS JUST TESTING TO SEE HOW DANNY KNEW SHE WAS BARREN AND THEN THE BOATBANG WAS LEGIT JUST A FUCKING WAY OF ENSURING THAT SHE WILL GO NORTH AND FIGHT THE DEAD BECAUSE JON KNOWS THAT SHE LOVES HIM

In the words of THE BASTARD OF THE DREADFORT "if you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention"

*sips wine, lights cigarette, watches the entire Jonareys fandom burn, like Lady Olenna but I'm male so more of a Tywin I guess*

[flippyspoon]

I strongly believe after some reluctance Dustin would eventually be all mooney eyed over billy and he'd sort of slowly inherit his music/fashion taste and beg his mom to let him go to concerts. She'd only cave if billy promised to take him and not let him out of his sight. Billy is more endeared by the whole thing than he wants to admit. Steve is amused.

Mooney-eyed might take some time but that would be the cutest. I almost feel bad for Steve though, I feel like he’d pout about that lol.  I do have a favorite head canon about Billy and Dustin that I decided to turn into a thing though:

Like a Lion

Billy glowered at the game board and said, “I don’t think we should break right now before we take down the fire giants.”

“It’s fine,” Lucas said, rolling his eyes. “Just a couple fire giants. No big deal.”

“I feel like this is the attack before the real attack,” Billy said, stroking his chin.

They were the only ones left at the table, Steve and the others having gone upstairs to fetch the pizza and soda.

“I agree,” Dustin said quietly. It was not an easy thing for him to say to Billy Hargrove. “But I’m also starving.”

“Whatever,” Billy grumbled, and he started to take out his pack of cigarettes.

“Hey!” Lucas said. “No smoking down here! Steve said-”

“Okay, okay.” Billy put his pack back and instead took a Dum Dum from his pocket. “Happy?”

“You’re still here,” Lucas said darkly. “So no.”

“Jesus, Sinclair,” Billy said. “I bought you and Max Blizzards, I gave you quarters for the arcade-”

Dustin cleared his throat and said, “I think we all know you’re just trying to kiss Steve’s ass?”

Billy flushed at that and Lucas hissed: “Don’t piss off the barbarian!”

“Not gonna do anything,” Billy muttered. And he took out another Dum Dum, holding out to Lucas. “You want one?”

“Ugh.” Lucas got up and trotted up the stairs.

“You’re not gonna win him over that easily,” Dustin said, when Lucas was gone. Billy handed Dustin the sucker instead and he slipped it in his pocket for later.

“Said I was sorry,” Billy said around his Dum Dum, sounding like a little kid as he crossed his arms.

“Your place in The Party must be earned,” Dustin said. “It has to be.”

Billy sneered at him and said, “Speaking fluent nerd isn’t going to make me want a place in The Party.”

“Okay,” Dustin said. “First of all, you play Dungeons and Dragons and you’re pretty good at it, so you don’t get to bully the nerds anymore ‘cause you are one-”

“Excuuuuse me-”

“And second, the only reason you’re playing along with it is because you’re definitely trying to kiss Steve’s ass.”

“Literally,” Billy said.

“Ew!”

Billy cackled at Dustin. Just a few days ago Dustin had walked in on Billy and Steve aggressively making out in Steve’s kitchen following a brief altercation with a couple demodogs. Dustin had been scandalized, and then lectured at length about why he was sworn to secrecy. Billy had initially panicked but he had not then understood the devotion to Steve Harrington felt by Dustin Henderson.

“I haven’t told anyone,” Dustin said, frowning at the game board.

“Better not,” Billy said, sucking furiously on his sucker.

“So do you…” Dustin cleared his throat. “You only like guys?”

“Yup,” Billy said, looking away.

“Then why’re you always pretending you like girls?” Dustin said.

Billy scoffed at that. “I thought you were supposed to be smart?”

“It’s like…for show?”

“Yeah,” Billy said, sighing a little, the Dum Dum hanging out the side of his mouth.

“Geez. You don’t even like girls and they all like you. I only like girls and I can’t get one.”

Billy laughed again and now he sat back and crossed his arms, regarding Dustin. “They don’t all like me,” Billy said, and then he smirked. He took out the sucker and pointed it at Dustin. “Well…maybe almost all. Anyway, you’re a nerd and you look like one. But hell, some girls like that. Look at Wheeler. I mean she dumped Harrington for…Byers?” Billy threw up his hands as if baffled. “No accounting for taste.” He patted Dustin’s shoulder as if that was some kind of compliment. “Might not be your first or second choice, but somebody’ll come around. Probably.”

“Gee…thanks, Hargrove,” Dustin said, wishing the others would return with the pizza.

“Well, I dunno. You got any moves?” Billy raised an eyebrow.

Dustin sighed at that. He had one move and everybody else thought it was stupid. “Kind of.”

“Alright, what is it?”

Dustin couldn’t help but smile a little and rolled his tongue, giving Billy Hargrove the full lion purr treatment.

“Like a lion,” Dustin said, smiling with his bright white pearlies.

“Ha!” Billy bit his lip and squinted at Dustin over his Dum Dum and Dustin braced himself for a particularly cruel drubbing. “That’s a fuckin’ great move.”

Dustin’s head jerked back, so shocked was he at Billy’s reaction. “What? You’re messing with me.”

“Nah,” Billy said, taking out his pack of smokes again just to stick one behind his ear. “It’s good, it’s aggressive. Puts it right out there.”

“Steve said I should pretend I don’t care,” Dustin said, a little suspicious.

“Steve doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Billy said. He dropped his wasted Dum Dum stick on the table.  “Steve can get anybody just by being Steve. But he doesn’t know it. So he thinks he needs a play.”

“Do you need a play?” Dustin said.

“Well, not with this face,” Billy said with a wink. “But my situation’s a bit more complicated? Anyway, we’re talking about you. It’s a good move. Use it. You definitely need it.”

“Everybody else thinks it’s stupid,” Dustin said.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Billy said. “It makes you look confident. Girls love confidence.”

“Okay.” Dustin smiled to himself. “Thanks, I guess.”

Billy looked taken aback himself suddenly, as if unused to a friendly conversation. “Um. No problem.” He smiled tightly and cleared his throat as he stood. “Let’s go see what the hold up is with the pizza already, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Dustin got up to follow Billy and slapped him on the back. “Maybe Steve fell in love with the delivery guy and they ran off together.”

“Pfft! You shut your mouth, Henderson.”

“I’m just kidding.”

“Don’t you talk like that around the others either or you’re dead.”

“No, I’m not. Because you’re still kissing Steve’s ass.”

“Ugh. I am in such deep shit.”