#n then this. a place to call home
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THE ORDER OF PALMS An order of holy folk that serve The Helm, working to create powerful Aasimar Paladins for the purpose of protecting any who hire their help. [BACKSTORY UNDER CUT]
One day, Gjör and her peers were lead by their mentor Opheria, to a mission far from their home. On the peak of that mountain village, they saw upon the horizon, the castle of their home go up in flames. Horrified and scared, the apprentices sought to follow their mentors guidance, and followed her lead into a small barn. It was there, that Opheria proceeded to slaughter each and everyone of the apprentices. It seemed she somehow had a hand in this sudden attack on the Order of Palms. Gjör D'annevual survived a sword through the 'heart', on account of a rare condition, that places her heart on the other side of her chest. When she finally managed to bring herself back home, the Order was insulted by her survival. She had so many better peers, why couldn't any of them have survived? This runt was seriously the only thing that survived Opherias wrath? It was better to just wash their hands clean of this. Thus the Order decided to banish Gjör from their ranks. She now travels the land in search of a purpose.
#luckys original content#dungeons and dragons#MY OCSSSS MY WONDERFUL OCSSS ITS BEEN SO LONGGGG!!this is a fairly old character that i made foreeeever ago#i was trying to go full on into DND LORE ONLY instead of makin up my own stuff. so when i was lookin around i learned abt THE HELM#the god of protection or watever it was. i also like playing paladin bc i love to hit things w my sword. i also like aasimars bc theyrprett#im sure i ahd other Min Maxy reasons for her but i dont have her sheet n ive forgotten everything. never got a chance to play her but yknow#maybe someday. I LIKE HER ALOT TOO. big and strong and well meaning but a lil dumb. justa lil dense n stupid. but she tries!!#I LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE JUST SMALL THINGS DIFERENT ABT THEM. i knew some1 who had that condition. where everythings just flipped#aint that fucked up? that ur organs can just be flipped? and inever see it in fiction. its so neat. imagine finding out like THIS too#she had blacked out from the sword through the heart. the last thing she heard from her mentor was;#'you were a great student. that is why you above all else must die. i hope you understand' spoken through a gentle voice and a gentle smile#the very same that had guided Gjör so far through her journey.A BETRAYAL LIKE NO OTHER! she awoke utop a pile of comrades#each bloodied and dead and cold. she used her own magic to heal herself. to catch herself from the precipice of bleeding out#when she stepped out of the barn she had found that the village was burned to the ground#she was shellshocked!! it took her weeks to limp all the way back down that mountain. all the way back to the place she called home#only to be spit on and kicked back out. being a Paladin of the Palms was her entire life. what was she to do now?#OH SO THE ART. I RLY LIKE HER DESIGN.heavily based off of THE BABY SITTER from HALO LEGENDS. i fuckin love halo so much guys.....#i just love that trope of Big Strong Person in Armor that we all thought wasa fullgrown MAN takes off the helmet to revel shesa PRETTY GIRL#my favorite in the WORLD!! i also like the silly frilly pretty dress sorta motif in gjors armor. it hides all the stuff i dont wanna draw#thats all the ramble i got in me for now. PLEASE ENJOY. and ask me abt my ocs
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https://www.tumblr.com/zendayaimdb/755734933356658688/i-agree-with-kief-that-the-harassment-mena?source=share
oh my god so the new lie is that i doxxed women on here? im done with radblr lmao no way u fucking freaks have been sending me anons with my real name the past week and even posted my full name on here not long ago and pics of my mom u found through facebook and many other things since i joined radblr but now u decided to pretend i doxxed any of u?
#bc i said i know macroclit & radicaldumbass is the same?#i scrolled her blog. she literally shared her own face and her own info#she literally said she was on radblr and left last year she shared the whole ordeal.#i’m so done with y’all. rot in this toxic cesspit i give up my idealistic belief that this place could ever be made better#so many of u have been awful to me and despite knowing ur names or ur face or sth else u shared privately i never did shit with that#i have been around for years and have met ppl from on here n been to their homes. i dont even call ppl names or tell them to kts#but lets pretend ur private info has been put at risk by me.#whatever i’m so over y’all i’m so over the demonising. yall are always ready to demonise minority women but radio silent when ppl on here r#prejudiced and now ur gonna lie i’m somehow dangerous and sharing ppl’s private info. over it.
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hey guys look at this cool flower i found
#hush n shush wifi#not brainrot#wifi's daily life#thou shalt not comment on my subpar photography skills#anyways apparently they're called scottish bluebells!!#or harebells!!#i went on a hike today and they were everywhere and i was so happy because i love bluebells#the hike was up a mountain ridge and i highly recommend for people who aren't afraid of heights#because believe me there are no guardrails and the only place to go is down#anyways was very fun i saw chipmunks and grasshoppers and cool birds!!!#and now i am tired wheeeee#good evening :)#i'll be home tomorrow <33
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do you have any tips for like... paneling? your lil comics, if i could call them that(?) with Dave are well made (to me at least) and I'd like to get into making comics! or if you know any resources that helped you. :') - sincerely, a beginner.
sorry to be answering this so late, wanted to try and give some kinda proper advice haha so what i do is i just make my posts as long as possible so that it takes up like all of ppls dash, this means they are forced to look at it and engage with it! no ok but for real, first off this is just how i do things and by no means any sort of proper tutorial or anything, most of this is prob kinda basic and intuitive stuff, but its good to be reminded of the basics and to notice why you might be doing said things intuitively so you can start doing it intentionally so how i approach things is by picking a focus panel whats the Punchline/Emotional pay off for the page/comic? and then i try and build the rest around that for actual Comics not every page is gonna have one of those ofcourse and thats fine i tend to often have to many focus panels,,,, lmao(which is why my posts end up so long,,,,) i try to group similar panels and make them smaller, it saves space, makes it so the attention goes to the more unique panels and makes things feel more sequential(or u can do like me and have too many similar panels and think, what if i just make it an animation, its just a few extra frames right,,,?<- clueless(i have done this twice now,,, the second is still a wip,,, )) heres one of my posts deconstructed using all this, id do more of them but i dont wanna make this even longer asdsd, but i think its pretty obvious to pick up on once you know the formula lol
after that i think its mostly just clear composition and flow so things dont get confusing(like what panel(also applies to text) youre suppose to read next and such(thats easier with this cus its usually just individual panels and not full pages)) edit: oh and resources that helped me, i mostly just looked at other comics, paying attention to how the paneling was effecting the story and mood! some comics ive looked at for paneling inspo are houseki no kuni, how they play with contrast and stuff, idk theyre all just very striking, i looked at ajin at some point as well for help with some action stuff, most action shonen are also great for that 2 so yeah, just find a comic scene that has the same vibe that youre trying to get and see how they did it, finding a few and comparing and contrasting what you feel works best thats my thought process while doing stuff at least! i hope this helps at least a bit haha
#another thing a teacher told me at some point is to make things Look Intentional? in this case they were referring to comic panels#and how if you have one of those classic slanted dividers(i dont remember what theyre called.. n am 2 lazy to look it up)#make sure its not just slightly slanted as then often gets misread as a mistake like you just messed up a straight line#so basically go big or go home#like art has no rules so u can do whatever you want and different things work better depending on the piece but its advice i try and follow#also paneling for ask blog stuff is a lot easier then actual comics its prob a good place to start to practice this kinda stuff#timing is also important? timing is why im doing 2 animations.......#they just werent working as panels cus they felt too slow? cus it needed 2 many panels that were all quite similar#so they took a lot of space and took 2 long to go through#which is why i was like ill just animate it!<- does not like animating#the things i do for this blog u_u#rambles#advice#anon#art
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give it up for hitting a big bag everyone say yaaay for boxing
#i did so well on the padwork too i only fucked up once 😌#which for someone w dogshit reflexes who hasnt boxed in like three months is really good bshcnskc#i got the shitty ummm idk what you call them#the fake wraps? the ones that are just fingerless gloves w a short wrap tie? and they fucking suck my hands got all cramped n numb#i just didnt want to waste time wrapping properly but i should have#if i got the regular wraps today theyd have been free but now i have to pay $10 :/ lame#temptation to just walk half an hour round the block before going home i have so much excess energy now#this place is a circuit boxing gym so not a real full boxing class#and its not really high octane enough for my adhd after ive gotten used to my real boxing gym ykwim#but its still fun so its ok#maybe ill move somewhere w a real boxing place later 🙏
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#frank.txt#also shit is FUCKED rn . im so STRESSED#my landlord had a landlord moment so we're moving. also this place is getting unbearable#we live near freedom convoy folks and ive been called all sorts of slurs just trying to walk to 7/11 so . idk#maybe the next place will at least have homophobes that aren't as shouty and angry n shit bc GOD. GOD#that one guy that followed me halfway home just yelling slurs like yeah maybe moving out is a blessing in disguise#also this house haa no insulation which is awful in summer and winter#the next place we're going to is more expensive unfortunately but like. its insulated. doesnt have squirrels in the attic. or asbestos.#so uhm yayyy#its in a very secluded farmland area. tbh maybe thats what i need rn bc my physical and mental health arent super sturdy rn#physically feeling a bit bettr tho! just having bubble baths about it <3#i only post now on my priv twit @dykefiend rn#once things are settled ill go back to posting art .#bc i RLLY want to draw my own stuff soon i just gotta work on commissions wnd then start PACKING#genuinely almost cried last night thinking abt how i'll probably be able to see stars at night again#its the outskirts of the city in a rural area. super rundown broken down house but gorgeous yard. all u can hear is wind ans birds#no sirens or yelling or cars!
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if cad is spending a year casting a spell every single day to fix his house he should legally be able to punch everyone involved every day also . like as a treat <3
#kiddo say#/j ik he cant leave#thats intense tho like holy shit#(this is about 4 sided dive or whatver its called)#ouughgh im still mad abotu the temple im so mad abt it#thats their home thats their holy place their sacred temple and it got burnt down its so upsetting to me#killing ikithon in my mind#sidenote ik beau needed ikithon alive for the trial n evidence n stuff which is understandable#but if any of them were to kill ikithon i think cad shouldve been allowed to since ikithon wouldnt have been able to manipulate or trigger#trauma n things . like w astrid or caleb#but i know cad is a petty mf and would prefer to have him alive and suffering so. lol
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I think I really got to focus on moving my mental health keep bouncing back and forth . It not even new trama it just her voice irritates me now I'm scared to do anything due to questioning and the fear of being looked down apond afraid of the slew of negativity . The distraction aren't distracting I haven't even had a hyper focus to suck me away for a while. Every little set back puts me on edge.
#super personal#rant#pay this no mind#i still accidental molding myself to her#to her#she dosrnt like a scent so i try to find and alternative i had to stop slef and think n relax#i just want a place to call home and stop this longing#i#idk
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it’s that time of week again…
#and M A N today’s getsuyoubi was extra yuuutsu#first i dropped 2 cup things filled with water. cool. a mess was made. nice.#t h e n my workstation shook by itself and one of the cup things toppled down again. only it was filled with (diluted) acid this time!!!!#i wish it fell onto me bc at l e a s t my bad day would’ve ended with just an acid burn instead of getting worse#bc *then* we found out that we were near-out of [insert reagent here] that we need to run blanks for [test thing] yay!!!!! joy!!!!!!!!!#so we had to use a substitute solvent (sadge)#if only it ended there aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i left work on time -> waited forever for the delayed bus -> decided to get some coffee or sth as a pick me up t h e n…#the coffee place happened to run out of single bags so i decided to put it into my bag instead (mistake)…#…a n d dropped my phone while trying to prop the stupid drink upright so it wouldn’t spill.#unfortunately for me though... some rando picked up my phone some time within the 30s-1 min wherein i realised that my phone was gone…#…and took it home with him instead of handing it to the customer service counter at the nearby train stations. ha.#called my phone a couple of times with the phone from a customer service counter but he~~ didn’t~~ pick up~~~~~~~~~#and so. long story short. i had to leave the house an extra time to go to this guy’s place to pick up my bb (read: my phone)#bc the dude~~~ can’t~~~~ speak~~~ english~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ so he didn’t understand me when i told him my location~~~~~~~#and now it’s almost 8.30 in the pm. im waiting for the delayed bus to go home from wherever tf i am now. and i haven’t eaten all day :))))#(aside from a small cake thing but it’s negligible tbh)#aND HOLY FK I HATE THIS I FLAGGED DOWN THE BUS BUT IT SKIPPED THE STOP HELP ME I JUST WANNA GO HOME#.am i allowed to cry yet. i. just. i just wanna eat my dinner.#…come to think of it my drink ended up spilling in my bag while i was hunting for my phone. so. there’s that to clean up ig.#ughhhhhhhhh i wish that guy had just left my phone where he found it. s o b s#so yeah. if you read this i hope you had a good monday at least…#this truly is my ✨t r a g i c c o m e d y✨
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listen i know full well that a cabin air filter costs like 20$ and ten minutes of installation time, and that the dealership charging 109$ is A Bit Much but i still like to call husband to ask him what he thinks because he once worked as a mechanic and he likes getting to tell me that's a terrible deal and he could do it for me AND do the engine air filter and i don't need some dealership to do it for me because he!!! will do it!!!!
anyways then he went to the car parts store and came back with the filters and also a birthday present for my brother?????
#the love of my life#unfortunately tho i'm still going to kill him because he had the N E R V E#to come home and tell me sean from work says there's an app for the hra account#I TOLD YOU THAT!!! I DID!!! ME!!!!!#AND IT DOESN'T MATTER BEACUSE YOU ENVER SIGNED UP FOR AN ACCOUNT INT HE FIRST PLACE#YOU STILL HAVE TO CALL THEM#so farewell to him#i already went halves on a MILWAUKEE TOWER LIGHT with my parents for brother's bday#but husband was delighted by these angled needle nose pliers#so there you go
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#every now and then im lying in bed feeling horrendous at home n i hear tawny owls or sandpipers or curlew calls in the night#honestly the only thing i genuinely love abt my home like it is an incredibly hard place to romanticise but at least it has that#physically hurts me that there's nowhere else in the world i can hear all these sounds but here
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god i don’t wanna be here i don’t wanna exist
#i hate myself so much#I’m sick of myself and sick of this world#i got upset at Lexi bc they said they didn’t wanna hang lol like i just shutdown n went quiet even tho they drove to take me to the shops#bc I’m ill#like I’m tired of always getting hurt I’m so damn sensitive all the time#like idk i guess i just thought they were gonna stay at mine for a while like we usually do#n instead they just wanted to go home#which is obv fine like they can do whatever they want but im sick of getting upset over this stuff#n i always feel horrible and guilty when i get triggered whether it’s shutting down or passive aggressiveness#or having a meltdown over stuff idk i just feel so emotionally childish n even when i know it’s wrong to feel tht way it still happens#i just wish i knew how to be better and stop being like this#n my therapists just keep telling me well it’s okay and normal to feel this way because I’ve been thru bad experiences before n thts why#i feel abandoned and unloved#but it’s like I’m 24 i shouldn’t be so emotionally all over the place and get triggered all the time like i can’t function bc of this#n i end up just acting in ways i don’t like like if someone was acting this way w me id be exhausted I’m not surprised I’ve been called#exhausting and too sensitive and negative and immature bc i am n hell if u don’t like me dw i hate myself more ive literally been trying#to get better and it’s going nowhere i think i just gotta end myself fr#journal
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Yknow, I hate how volunteering all kinds of personal information on tumblr and other social media websites, to the point it could legit be dangerous for some peeps, has become so commonplace that it's now considered suspicious to NOT exercise caution and withhold even a sliver of your personal information
#lost track of how many peeps have been called bigots or shitty slurs for cis just bc they don't have 'YES i am in fact trans' on their blogs#so now people (esp kids and otherwise digital natives) just throw all their personal info out to the wind??#i've seen kids sharing their schools and home towns and real names and identities and youtubes with their faces all over em#don't even get me started on all the parents broadcasting their kids' lives 24/7 on instagram and twitter n shit#they can't even consent so they're gonna be like 18 20 25 and hating their parents for assuming they would be ok with it#if THEY even think it's wrong in the first place which i bet a lot of em won't because they're so used to everyone doing it??#it's kinda scary??#that's on top of all the facial recognition and other stuff that's being fed every time you post a pic of yourself or your kids#privacy#security#social media#tumblr#bullying#harassment#minors
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ik i take anti anxiety/sedater at night to sleep better and not get anxious about nightmares etc, but i still catch myself feeling dread throughout the day as if i will be going to a real, physical place instead of To Bed
#90% of the time i love having vivid dreams and lucid dreaming#lately though i’m dreaming about like. moving back into my childhood home or trying to Go Home#and the house is different/on fire inside/my mom answers but won’t let me in#sometimes i’m very far away and i’m trying to call mom or dad to pick me up#and the buttons are illegible or i type in the wrong numbers time and again#OR they answer and refuse to get me so i have to walk miles through#foresty ravines with vague figures in the trees across the ravine#or through the show along highways and every night i swear#i dream about leaving a specific place and needing to make a specific turn#and i fuck it up every time. but i tell myself as soon as i leave the building Go Right Not Left Go Right#and i always go left for too long and end up by a huge interstate ramp Mess#most commonly nearly nightly o dream of being in a cramped many narrow halled home#small rooms where they shouldn’t be and the whole house is steeped in a skin crawling Sickly Essence. sometimes there’s an old person that#i feel equal parts pity and disgust for. always there is a basement that i do NOT want to go in but end up in anyway…dirt floors stuff#everywhere it goes on and on and on. wood beams and exposed wires n shit#OR finally o dream of being sick and kept in hospital. or i arrive to visit someone and am told i cannot leave#and am either made to be sick or i try to escape and usually the vessel i choose to flee on just misses me#or explodes over the sea with me in it#i want to. have cool dreams again. these suck
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“you’re a good friend,” my brother says once, in goodbye.
i tell him again, “i love you,” and i can hear the static in my voice. he doesn’t hear me at all—probably expects i’ve already hung up the phone—he’s singing so loudly. “enjoy your movie,” i say a bit louder. he shouts, “okay,” and i press the red button.
over a hundred miles away, in a hollow apartment, the quiet of loneliness is rustled by a mouseclick when i close a results page.
#not sure what to say of this except i love my little brother to fucking death#he is so sweet and lovely and he just melts my heart#one of my best fucking friends truly#he called for a quick emotional support pep talk because my family’s kittens are going to their forever home#he quickly spiraled mentioned he couldn’t remember the title of a movie and rambled out bits and baubles#i blinked and was opening google before i’d properly realized i had no idea what movie he was talking about and would Need to google#i am on the other side of the state spelling g as in grandma n as in nerd#i want to sob because i am. all the way over here and he is. all the way over there. and i can still be there for him????#i am loved??????#i have love to give?????#i am my little brother’s emotional support buddy and he is one of the most important people to me and i’m just really Feelingsed about it rn#i’ve just been in a really fuckin tough place recently and this seven minute phone call filled me with so much hope and happy#shut up im holding the trashtalking breadstick
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4 days until the move hahahahahaha
#first thing monday morning!!#im very excited but also a little stressed#i'm doing 98% of the packing and 100% of the cleaning for this one cuz gf has been super busy#and now she won't be home till saturday night cuz she's gotta house sit n dog sit#and im on call to help her mom who just had surgery if she needs anything and im so tired from everything ive been doing#so im just a lil stressed!!#BUT!#i got change of address done with two places today and i think i might be able to clean the fridge tonight#and honestly objectively there isn't much to do i'm just. struggling cuz i really dont feel well and it takes me a long time to do anything#but im still super excited!! we wont have any furniture for awhile but everythings gonna be so much easier there!!!#updates on my boring life
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