#n the last thing i wanna deal w is y insecure friend

[29121996]

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[bubbledumbbinch]

Heya! Congrats on the 100+ followers!! Your writing is really good and I enjoy reading your works!

If you dont mind, what would be your headcanons on the TWST dorm leaders of what prefrences they have for a S/O? Like what would they want in an S/O? (Also Im sorry if this has already been asked Im also kinda new to your blog as well ;w;)

Hii!! And thank you 🥰🥺💕 that means a lot to me!! I hope you stay and continue to enjoy yourself here!This hasn’t been asked before so I hope you enjoy!!! ;w; I hope you all enjoy I had a fun time (and a difficult time) writing this out! I think I made it too long, again ;w;

I made this SFW uwu just some fluff!!!! But please keep in mind before you follow me, I MOSTLY POST NSFW works.

Warnings: slight story spoilers for episode 5, for Idia’s part, if u squint

Pairings: Dorm Leaders x Reader

I put things under a cut for length!!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle would probably want a partner who does well in school - at least someone who tries to! It would go against his own desires to do well in life if he has a partner who doesn’t have the drive to succeed like he does.

He isn’t particularly fond of people who have a lot of potential yet waste it on being lazy. Like I said before, it goes against his own morals.

I also see him wanting someone fun-loving! Riddle grew up in an environment where fun was essentially taboo so he would be drawn like a moth to a flame to someone who has so much energy in them. Remember one of his best childhood friends is Che’nya so he would probably not hate the idea of joking around and being silly once in a while!

Someone who would love sweets like him! Not too often so he could maintain his shape, but someone who would love to indulge him once in a while!

Riddle would love to see an S/O who makes time for him and the unbirthday parties that Heartslabyul hosts! He feels like a good dorm leader and seeing you make an effort to come makes him feel like a great boyfriend too!

“Ah, Y/N, I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to make it today.” Riddle sighed to himself in relief. He feared his rose would come to the party late. “Ah, sorry Riddle! I was late because I was studying for Professor Crewel’s exam but I lost track of time!” You breathed out, a bit exhausted from running.

The redhead only nodded and smiled at you. “Don’t worry about it, my rose. We’ve only just begun the party, so no need to fret.” Riddle’s gentlemanly ways never failed to make your heart soar. “No no, I’ll make it up to you! I’ll bake you a tart sometime, you’ll let me right?” You playfully nudged at your boyfriend’s arm and smirked.

Riddle could only blush furiously. “Th-that would not be a bad idea. I suppose I would accept the gift graciously, dear, but only if we can cook it together. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us to learn!”

Leona Kingscholar

Someone who loves to nap with him like all the time

Leona would definitely want someone who is willing to praise him a lot. Growing up he never really had that and felt like he was overshadowed by his big brother, so this guy needs validation like crazy. Tell him how strong he is, how much you love him, how warm he is… he’ll scoff and look away but you could see the faintest blush on his cheeks. He secretly loves it.

I feel like Leona would like bratty tsunderes, for some reason. He would be the perfect teasing type for them and I think I can just picture Leona and his S/O getting into play fights that lead to something more, if you catch my drift.

Someone who can be “refined” enough for show so that when he brings you home to his family, they can accept you fully. The last thing he wants is his family pestering him about how his potential mate isn’t a good fit.

As tough as he may be he def wants someone at the end of the day to stroke his head and calm him down after a long and stressful day.

“Oi, herbivore, come here and be my pillow.” Leona’s gruff voice broke the silence of his room. He was sitting up on his bed while you studied on his desk. Giggling, you made your way into his bed, crawling over to where he was. Leona pushed your torso down gently and started nuzzling his head on your chest, and you could feel the vibrations coming from his body that was like a low growl. Or was it purring?

“Of course, anything for my big strong boyfriend, the best Magift player in the school, my one and only love~” you endlessly praised him, smiling at him as if he were a rare diamond. Leona only huffed as he wrapped his muscular arms around your form, effectively preventing you from leaving.

“Tch…. Damn right….” Leona mumbled. “Why don’t you tell me more while I start drifting to sleep?” Leona smirked. Running your fingers through his hair carefully, you obliged, feeling Leona’s breathing become more calm as you continued.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul would ALSO want someone who praises him, due to his years of being bullied. Call him beautiful, smart, tell him he’s the most cunning man on campus. He EATS IT UP. This man will swear on his life for you.

He also would want someone who has the ability to work hard… what? The Mostro Lounge needs extra workers sometimes! Azul thinks that if he can own the lounge, manage contracts, AND study hard for school, his S/O should be able to match him!

I can see Azul absolutely praising/spoiling his S/O too. Since you give him so much happiness in his life he should pay it forward, no? What would you like, a new dress/suit? A new piece of jewelry?

Someone !!! Loyal!!! Azul wants someone who he can feel secure with in a relationship, so he probably wouldn’t want you to flirt with anybody else since his insecurities will SPARK UP like crazy!

Azul wants someone who loves him for who he is, unconditionally!

“Angelfish… hello, good evening. I’m sorry if I am a bit more tired than usual, I just finished with ordering more inventory for the lounge and dealing with some paperwork.” Azul sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. You dropped your bags on one of the chairs of the VIP room and walked over slowly to your octomer boyfriend. Bringing your arms to his shoulders, you slowly begin to knead and massage his arms gently. Azul groaned at the contact, muscles aching.

“How is this, Azul? I know how hard you work, you deserve to take a break too, sometimes…” you spoke gently into his ear, kissing the shell of it. The contact gave him slight goosebumps. “Ah, I would love to but, I have so much more to do… I know it’s going to be a late night for me, so why don’t you head on to sleep?” You tsked, upset with his answer. “I know it’s late Azul, that’s why I’m here. You know, if you keep doing this you’ll get wrinkles, right?”

“Ahem! Well. Then, this might be a good place to stop if that’s the case…” Azul huffed, standing up quickly to retire to his room, you in tow.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim wants someone who is cheerful! They may not be a ray of sunshine like he is, but I honestly can’t picture him with someone smug/gloomy. Kalim might be dense but he isn’t THAT stupid. I think he would be able to notice if you were upset which makes him upset.

Someone who is down for anything, Kalim would love to take you on a ride on his magic carpet at random hours of the day so be prepared to drop whatever you’re doing if you want to appease your impulsive boyfriend!

A fun loving person for sure, who isn’t super self conscious about what people think. If he asks you to dance with him he would really love for you to join! He wouldn’t want you to say something like, “oh, but I’m a bad dancer…” Kalim would shake his head and ask you why you would say that! It’s all about having a fun time together, right?

A patient lover is what Kalim would want as well, someone who’s kind, too. At the end of the day when Kalim is ready to sleep after his crazy antics, he wants a partner he can be able to lay next to and feel like himself.

Someone who loves him even if he weren’t rich, Kalim would want someone for their personality and not materialistic things or beauty. Kalim sees someone for their heart ! (*´꒳`*)

You yawned heavily while rubbing your eyes. Was that a tapping noise coming from the window? “Ugh…. What time is it?” Checking your phone, you saw it was 1:30am. You also had a text from Kalim.

*tap tap tap*

You groggily walked over to the window and opened the curtains to see Kalim sitting on his magic carpet with the biggest grin upon seeing you. Opening the window, you giggled lightly. “Good evening Kalim, fancy seeing you here so late.”

“Hi, Y/N!! I woke up and felt bored so, you wanna join me on a night ride around campus?” Kalim practically beamed at you, even this late at night. His smile never failed to make your heart flutter. The boy’s positive energy also transferred to you, effectively waking you up.Stepping onto the carpet from your window was your answer. After getting situated, you kissed Kalim’s cheek and held his hand. “Of course Kalim, I would love to.”

Vil Schoenheit

Someone who can tough out his callous words and treatment. Vil might be a bit much, but the reason why he does this is because he does it with the goal of ultimately helping you. He only wants to see the best out of people, including but not limited to his little sweet potato!

Someone who is patient. He knows he checks who the most beautiful person is quite often and he doesn’t do it to annoy you, it’s just for his own personal validation issues. Lay a hand on his arm, back, or head to give him praises and let him know he’s beautiful to you no matter what.

Someone who is willing to pepper him lightly with kisses (not the face though, he has makeup on!). He definitely eats it up and loves it so much, he feels like you are treating him like a king. He’ll pay that back tenfold and give you beauty treatments, it’ll feel like you’re at the spa on a weekday!

Vil is constantly posting on Magicam, depending on whether you’re comfortable enough to be posted on there he would want to make sure you are okay with him constantly taking photos to be posted on there. Whether it be food you cooked, matching couples outfits, or even pictures of you without makeup, be ready to face comments of all sorts coming from his fans.

“Mira Mira on my phone… Currently, who is the most beautiful of all?” You heard Vil speak outside of his room. Currently you sat on the small chaise at the foot of his bed. Vil told you he needed to step out for a second, so you could get ready for bed now. After putting on your sleeping clothes, Vil finally came back in, seeming more irritated than before. His eyebrows furrowed and his body looked tense.

“Vil, are you alright?” You questioned him as you made your way to his bed, slipping under the covers. Vil only sighed and exchange a quick “Mm.” as he changed into his pajamas and came to join you. He was turned so his back was facing you and he was a bit distant. You knew he didn’t get the answer he wanted when he got those search results back. You didn’t know how to convince your boyfriend otherwise but you decided you needed to talk to him.

“Vil, darling…” you spoke gently as you nuzzled closer, your chest pressing into his back. Your arm wrapped around him to pull him closer, to which he responded with finally relaxing in your touch. “You’re one of the best things that’s happened to me, Vil, I don’t know if you realize how lucky I am to have such a loving, caring, and talented boyfriend like you. Your beauty is simply the cherry on top of the person I fell in love with. To me, you’re perfect. I love you.” You ended your tangent by placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder, dozing off.

You couldn’t see Vil but he trembled lightly as tears silently fell down his face. “Thank you… I love you too, my sweet potato.” Vil whispered into his pillow. With you, he always felt like the most beautiful person.

Idia Shroud

Personality wise, I don’t think Idia would be picky. He’s a shy person and honestly would be surprised he could get an S/O at all! So is Ortho!

Speaking of Ortho, Idia wants someone who is kind and loving to his little brother. Knowing his partner loves his brother would only make him fall for you harder!

Probably someone who would give Idia his own space until he finally felt comfortable and wanted to take it further, he would prob take a few days to even kiss you!!!

Idia wants someone to be his player 2 :) like actually, come over and game with him and he’ll probably be the happiest boy ever.

Big big bonus if you love anime, cosplay, gaming, etc. It’s one thing to be an otaku like Idia but when he has a partner to fully indulge in his interests with?? It’s a win-win situation for everyone! He wants to do a couple cosplay one day if he gets the courage to ask you.

Someone who won’t pressure him too much. If you remember how Riddle pressured Idia into trying to speak publicly, you know how much of a scary situation it put Idia in, even though he was able to do it. Stressing him out is just gonna make him unhappy :(

Someone who enjoys spending as much time inside as he does! I’m not talking a hikikomori but someone who wouldn’t be opposed to staying inside with him 99.9% of the time lol

“Y-Y/N-shi, would you like to g-go on a date with me soon?” Idia fumbled with his fingers, looking away as he asked you. You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Idia, this is the first time you asked me to ‘go on a date’. Don’t tell me, are we actually going out somewhere?!”

“Eek! D-don’t be ridiculous, Y/N!!” He almost screeched the words out. Suddenly he pulled out a couple of VR headsets with hand controllers, and handed one to you. “Fuhehe, I just made a bunch of simulation locations. We could go to the park, a restaurant, even an amusement park..!” He grinned showing off his teeth.

You giggled at Idia’s enthusiasm, loving the way he gets after speaking about his own creations. “What a wonderful idea, Idia. Maybe we could take Ortho to the ‘amusement park’ too? We’ll be a big family.” You mused. Idia’s face brightened and a faint pink tinge covered his cheeks.

“F-family, huh? Ah, Y-Y/N-shi…. That would be n-nice…” Idia blushed as he considered what the future would bring for the both of you.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus would also mostly not have preferences on a person’s personality. Like, he wouldn’t say something like: “I want someone shy vs someone bold.” Anything his child of man does is interesting to him and he’s entranced by you!

That being said, Malleus would not tolerate rudeness, disrespect to him, Lilia, or his fellow dorm mates, etc. He may love you but he values those bonds more, especially Lilia’s and his grandmother’s.

Malleus wants someone who is willing to teach him human tendencies, since he is curious about them. Malleus will also probably never stop asking you about your life in the previous world, and listen passionately as you describe the hobbies you had, family members, etc.

As long as you continue to love and treat Malleus like a normal person and with kindness, he will continue to love you endlessly. He’s so unused to it that he will feel so special as you only coo in awe instead of fear away, if he showed you a magic trick or maybe donned more of his draconic features like his tail or long claws.

You walked with Malleus under the bright moonlight in the woods near Ramshackle dorm. His height and charm never failed to impress you. And his face, he was so very handsome. His striking green eyes always made you feel hypnotized and his horns were so well taken care of, you almost wanted to reach out and-

“Hm, Child of Man… you do know it’s quite rude to stare, yes?” Malleus chuckled and suddenly broke the silence, making you gasp. “Ah, sorry Tsunotarou. I-,” searching your thoughts, you just couldn’t think of anything quickly enough. “I just couldn’t help myself. You’re very attractive.” You murmured, admitting defeat.

“Oh? Do I not intimidate you, my dear? Usually humans and even other fae fear my features and tend to shy away…” Malleus looked down in thought as he continued walking. You wrapped yourself around one of his arms as he walked, effectively stopping him in his place. “Well, you don’t intimidate me! I like being around you, so, let’s keep it that way. I want to stay with you for a long time so don’t get too tired of me okay, Malleus?”

Hearing you say his given name only made the fae’s heart beat harder in his chest. Surely you knew what you did to him. He smiled down at you, green eyes softening in your gaze.

“I assure you I won’t, little human.”

[suguruverse]

hi mimi! i, really, really, REALLY love your "being best friend with..." series and i was hoping that you could do for tsukishima and yamaguchi? 🥺 thank you in advance, love! <3

— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI

includes - tsukishima kei and yamaguchi tadashi

a/n - hehe i hope you liked this one <33

published date - 29/03/21

- this friendship is definitely not for the weak

- shit talking 24/7

- don’t be decieved, yamaguchi isn’t all that innocent

- yall he’s literally been best friends with tsukishima all his life plus he’s a scorpio sooo nuff said

- he definitely has tea on EVERYONE

- yamaguchi is also the type of friend who lets you copy all of his work

- on the other hand, tsukishima thinks you’re insufferable

- you always insist on coming to their games and practices

- tsukishima just says that he doesn’t want you there in general (spoiler alert!! he actually does)

- but yamaguchi only says that because he thinks that he’s not going to be on court that much and that he’s probably gonna do bad anyways so he doesn’t wanna waste your time by making you watch him fail

- but when you go to their games, tsukishima does a peace sign at you after he scores a point, like he does with his brother

- when they’re feeling particularly unmotivated, you do aggressive pep talks for them

- it makes them scared but also a lil happy

- but the rest of the team is definitely scared because they just see this random girl yelling at two of their teammates but they’re enjoying being yelled at??

- masochist vibes

- omfg i literally cant deal w myself holy shit okay

- you guys have sleepovers every weekend. no questions asked.

- most because you and yams come over to tsukishima’s house all the time and unannounced and he ‘can’t be bothered kicking you guys out’ so he lets yall stay

- it’s always late nights whenever you guys get to have deep conversations

- these conversations are super important in the friendship!!

- they both struggle with insecurities and issues of their own, and since the normally don’t voice out their feelings, you try to be as supportive as possible

- but they never make you feel as if you should carry all of their burdens

- they (mostly yamaguchi) always encourages you to be more open but never forces you to

- i feel like trust and communication is vital for this friendship to last

- tsukishima is way too attentive for his own good

- if you’re having a bad day, tsukishima never really does anything but he lets yamaguchi go crazy on food, snacks and your favourite things in general

- tsukishima know that you like hugs so on special occasions, he’ll let you hold onto him longer than usual

- THEY BOTH LOVE BACK HUGS it makes them feel safe and secure

- pls you initiate most of the physical affection and they love it so much

- tsukishima acts like he hates it, but if you don’t greet him with a good morning hug or kiss on the forehead/cheek, he’s gonna be grumpy for the entire day

- i feel like for this friendship to have happened, yall would have had to grown up together 

- also yamaguchi worries over you almost too much

- his brain is 50% worrying about you, 25% volleyball and 25% school

- yall eat lunches together everyday

- sometimes yamaguchi will make you and tsukishima lunches or just little snacks like cookies

- on birthdays, they go full out

- they bring party hats, ALL of your favourite foods with serving sizes that could feed their team and a cake (strawberry shortcake of course because tsukishima was being stingy and chose the cake that he wanted)

- they insist on walking you home every single night

- and when you’re up at 2am wanting to get snacks, tsukishima acts as if you’re crazy and should be sleeping but he still walks with you to the store because ‘only a dumbass would go out alone this late and he didn’t want to hear yamaguchi cry everyday if you got kidnapped’

- yamaguchi leaves motivational notes on your desk and locker

- tsukishima has made you cry while trying to tutor you multiple times

- and yamaguchi yells at him every time he makes you cry

- also yamaguchi can be hella intimidating when he tries

- so don’t worry if anyone is bothering you bc they’re your biggest protectors

- the LITTLEST things you do for them will get them flustered and happy

gc name: y/n’s sluts 🤑🤑

you: KEI

you: KEI ANSWER

you: CODE RED EMERGENCY

tsukishima: jesus i’m here what happened

you: TADASHI

tsukishima: what’s wrong with him

you: I THINK HES BEING ASKED OUT

you: HE LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE

tsukishima: omw where r u

you: SECOND FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR CLASSROOM

yamaguchi: hi guys

you: TADASHIIIII :((

yamaguchi: hehe i’m alright :)

yamaguchi: they were actually trying to confess to tsukki, they thought he would be with me

you: aww babes are you okay ??

yamaguchi: mhm!! just a little embarrassed, that’s all

you: i’ll come over to u

you: plus why are they confessing to kei, he’s an asshole 😒 tadashi is way more boyfriend material

tsukishima: i’m right here you brat

you: 🤪🤪

tsukishima: anyways, let’s go already, we need to get snacks for movie night at yamaguchi s

yamaguchi: mine?? i thought we normally go to urs

tsukishima: shut up, deal with it

you: don’t be rude to my lovely tadashi!!

you: we’re doing movie night at urs bc keis doesn’t want akiteru to interrupt the movie

yamaguchi: oh okay!! i’m picking the movie this time

[bangtangalicious]

the glow up | pjm (3)

pairing: jimin x reader

summary: after going off to college, you & your best friend committed to working out. a year later, the results show, and you cant wait for your hot hometown friends to see you. now all you wanna do is wild out and have lots of sex, and enjoy it without feeling insecure

genre: smut, childhoodfriends!au weightloss!au (is that a thing) friends-to-lovers!au

word count: 1.7k

warnings: dry humping, sleep sex/wet dream, feverishly rough sex, choking, technically dubcon but she was genuinely fine with it, slut shaming, cheating (?), basically jimin fucks you hard but he thinks he’s dreaming, creampie, unprotected sex

part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7                                                  masterlist

You woke up, the events of the morning seemingly like a world away. You became conscious suddenly to a warm presence snuggled up behind you. Jimin and you had talked for a while before returning to the party. You stayed back late helping him clean up until you both passed out from exhaustion.

The tension had been uncomfortable. Jimin decided not to bring up Taehyung’s outburst, and you too avoided the topic entirely. It was too confusing.

Jimin’s arms were wrapped around your hips tightly, his fingers gently stroking your stomach. He was totally knocked out, you could tell by the way he whimpered slightly when you tried to move. You sighed, trapped by him completely. You tried to wiggle your way out but as you shook your hips you felt something graze against your ass.

He was hard. Really hard.

Your eyes widened, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t his fault, you knew morning wood was a thing, and seeing how pressed up the two of you were, it was bound to happen. You tried to move again, but it only caused him to press even more into your soft flesh. A shaky breath left his lips at the contact. His hands loosened and slowly began sliding down your bikini bottom. You gasped.

“Jimin what are you doing” You hissed. No response was heard, all you felt was Jimin’s cock desperately prying for freedom from his trunks, now against your bare ass. He slowly rolled his hips, humming in pleasure. “Jimin. JIMIN.” He was still asleep, you realized.

You could move, but you knew if you moved now he would wake up, and then he would ask what happened. And you really didn’t want to have to deal with that. Or maybe. You liked the feeling.

You wondered what Jimin must be thinking about. Was it you he was fucking in his dreams? He had denied you earlier. Your heart dropped as you recalled his cruel comment about Taehyung having came in you, and that grossing him out so much he refused to have sex with you.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the way Jimin’s hands had found your breasts, pulling you back into him with all his strength. You moaned in surprise. The feeling of his hands, slightly dry from the day in the pool but so large, covering the entirety of your breast and clutching it as if he was holding on for dear life.

You could feel his heart pounding against you. You wiggled your ass against him, seeing if he would react. He let out a high pitched whine, which cause goosebumps to spread across you. He sounded hot. You felt yourself getting wetter.

Apparently so did Jimin, because his hips bucked into you, his bulge dancing past your entrance in a quick thrust. You squealed at the sensation. The fact that he was acting involuntarily, following nothing but instinct, turned you on beyond reason. You felt him exhale heavily, his hot breath tickling the nape of your neck. He bucked his hips again, harsher this time, whining incessantly.

You could feel how bad his cock wanted to tear through the fabric and feel you. He thrust again. Then again. Harder. And harder. His hands clutching your breasts more aggressively each time. You couldn’t help but scream. It felt so good. He was like a dog just humping you so aggressively in heat. You felt animalistic and you loved it. You pushed back into him more, spreading your legs so he could rut right where you craved him.

His pace quickened. If anyone had walked into the room at that moment, they would see Jimin, eyes shut and lips parted, humping into your ass like there was no tomorrow, and you, pretty much naked, a moaning mess with your eyes rolling back in bliss.

“Jimin” You exhaled, turning your head as much as you could to try to see him. “Fuck, Jimin baby you feel so good”

His face was blushed pink, sweat forming at his forehead. He groaned as you spread your legs even more, allowing your wetness to seep through the fabric of his shorts. He let out a low growl.

Suddenly his eyes flew open, but he didn't stop. He was completely gone, you could see it in his expression. He his were lustful, almost frightening. He met your eyes briefly, not even comprehending who you were or what was happening before he flipped you over and yanked down his trunks. He grabbed your neck with both of his hands as he shoved his cock inside of you without any warning. You screamed out, not expecting the large girth. You were luckily wet enough for him to get inside you without too much resistence, but the speed had you crying out.

“Jimin—“ You tried to choke out but Jimin’s grip on you tightened. He fucked himself into you harshly, groaning at the way your pussy clenched down on him. He lowered himself so his chest was flush against your back as he continued to roll his hips into you. He grazed his teeth across your jaw before sucking it harshly. “Holy fuck” You muttered under your breath.

His pace picked up relentlessly, as if it were even possible for him to fuck you faster. Each thrust was practically splitting you opn. You tried to spread wider but you physically couldn’t. You were ruined under him, and you loved it. You felt yourself teasing your own edge with his cock hitting you in all the right ways. You cried out, nodding your head like an idiot, knowing full well that Jimin did not know nor care what you were doing.

You came like an avalanche, your body twitched and writhed under Jimin. You felt like you were going to lose your voice with how loud you were screaming as his pistoling cock did not give you a second to breathe. You gushed against him, your slick cum making his thrusts even easier. Before you knew it you felt him shoot hot com through you as he let out a loud moan. He buried himself as far into you as he could, pushing your face up against the headboard as his hands practically stopped your breathing. You felt dizzy, but so so good. He recoiled, laying down on top of you then, the full weight of him crushing you.

“Jimin!” You shouted as your ribs felt weak under the pressure. He blinked a few times before he suddenly jumped off of you.

“Oh my god” He whispered, looking at you, with his cum messily dripping down your legs and on your ass. You turned slowly, the soreness beginning to catch up with you. “What the fuck happened”

You exhaled, laughing slightly, “You tell me”

He shook his head frantically, worry filling his eyes, “Oh my god y/n…fuck…no. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. I had no idea I…” His face reddened, “I thought I was dreaming”

You giggled, curling your finger and motioning him towards you. He obeyed, crawling into your embrace. He held you like you were a delicate piece of glass that he almost shattered.

“I know. You were wild”

“I didn’t fuck” His frustration was evident as you stroked his back calmly, “I didn’t want our first time to be like this”

“Yeah I mean, being conscious is definitely better” You joked. Jimin shook his head.

“I can’t believe my dick has just been where Taehyung’s has. EW” He shuddered, looking at you in horror. Your face dropped.

“W…what? That’s still your issue?”

Jimin sighed, stroking your hair, “Would you wanna suck my dick if I had it stuffed in someone else’s vagina the day before?”

You shrugged. You guessed you understood his perspective, but that didn’t make his words hurt less. Jimin kissed your cheek.

“Please don’t take it the wrong way baby. It was so good. You felt so good. And I want you so bad. But it’s…too soon. I still just can’t believe you’d just let someone so random touch you like that.”

You nodded, wanting to put the discussion to rest before you bit his head off in retaliation. You reached over for your phone, seeing a few missed messages.

tae: im so sorry princess

You chuckled, raising your eyebrows. Taehyung was the last person who needed to apologize here. You glanced at Jimin, who was also on his own phone, hand caressing your thigh absentmindedly.

y/n: don’t be sorry omg. wanna hang?

“Do you wanna grab lunch?” Jimin asked softly, without looking up, “There’s a new taco place that opened up near here. I know you love Mexican so”

Your heart clenched.

tae: yeah i can pick you up. u still at jimin’s?

“Jimin” Your voice wavered. You had never been so conflicted in your life. Jimin was amazing, you adored him. He knew you better than anyone else and was so so sweet. But somehow this whole sex thing was making you question your willingness to redefine your relationship into something more. You weren’t sure if it was because of how amazing it felt to fuck Taehyung, or because Jimin was being an unapologetic little bitch about your promiscuity. “I think I need some space”

y/n: yeah, sounds good. b out in a few

He turned quickly, his eyes sad. You hated that you even had to have this conversation at all, “I just need some time to myself to figure stuff out. I’m not leaving you, I’ll come back. I’m just not sure if I wanna jump into this right now”

His eyes darkened and he pursed his lips. “Oh, okay” He faked a smile and kissed your nose again, lingering. “Just text me okay. Whenever. Whenever you’re done…doing what you need to do” You nodded. You got dressed and Jimin gave you some clothes. As you walked out the door his grabbed your wrist lightly.

“Y/n” His eyes were watery, “I’m still here for you okay. Please…” He inhaled sharply, “Don’t leave me”

You gave him a small smile, “I won’t Jimin”

“Promise?”

You swallowed your guilt and nodded. You walked out to the street and looked at your phone.

tae: i’m down the curb. same car.

You grinned, turned and waved one last time to Jimin, before walking away, your fingers excitedly tapping your phone.

<-----previous                                                                               next----->

A/N: ~sips water~ 

taglist: (lmk if you wanna be added!!) @honeyspillings @hollowtree10

[willwriteforhugs]

how stray kids asks you out <3

skz scenario - all members (individually) x reader

genre: fluff, dating au, angst if you close your left eye

word count: 1.6k (total)

warnings: some cursing, but nothing else :)

a/n: hello, lovelies!! this is my very first (posted) stray kids fic- i hope you all enjoy. it’s nothing major, but i really had fun writing it. if you’ve found me on the explore page, hello! i’m a hot mess. pls validate me by reading what i write.

just kidding.

maybe.

ANYWAYS- please keep in mind that this is written in a totally lighthearted way, and this is 100% fictitious. this is for entertainment purposes only. thank you for reading!

chan: 

he is actually so shy about it :’(

but he knows he’s gonna go through with it

cause that’s the kind of person he is

he just wants his emotions to be out in the open

whether the feeling is mutual or not

so he just improvises 

he approaches you with completely no context? like he just walks up and starts a convo but you can’t tell why

you think he’s just. being chan

but no

he’s pretty chill, actually

his face is so tho red but he doesn’t know that so don’t say anything

a few minutes in he kinda just snaps because he just couldn’t wait

“y/n-ah, do you wanna- i don’t know, get together sometime? are you free?”

this takes you off guard completely

he misunderstands your reaction *screams*

and he immediately regrets saying anything

but you scramble to reassure him 

when you say you’d like to get together, he loses all humility

becomes a total flirt

this flusters you but the two of you have such CHEMISTRY 

“so it’s a date?”

“it’s a date.”

minho:

is the type to completely deny his own feelings until the very last minute

plus, tbh

he probably thinks you hate him

so he has a hard time convincing himself to finally ask you out

but when he does...

he just bites the bullet (lmao pray for him)

walks RIGHT THE FUCK UP TO YOU

“y/n.”

when you respond he just kinda:

“will you go out with me?”

you also probably thinks he hates you too (go communication!!)

so you’re just like *surprised pikachu face*

but he just stands there and waits for your response

he’s sweating on the DL

but you kinda just go with it and say yes

he’s hella surprised but doesn’t wanna show his excitement

so he just smirks and is like

“okay. what would you like to do, and when?”

(just because he’s a cocky lil shit doesn’t mean he’s not a gentleman)

but he’s also secretly planning the whole first date in his head

will i hold y/n’s hand? what will they wanna do? should i-

- minho’s brain

(aw)

changbin:

is on the bolder side

(be careful with this one)

(he’s feisty)

he probably let his feelings fester for a long time

so this is overdue

but he spends the whole day shamelessly flirting with you

he finally just asks if you want to grab some food

you don’t even really realize it’s a date until he insists on paying for everything

this makes you all clumsy and embarrassed

but he thinks it’s the cutest shit ever

well now he’s clumsy and embarrassed (sobs)

TECHNICALLY he doesn’t officially ask you out until after this

he pretty much just straight up confesses

the audacity i can’t

“y/n-ah... i really like you- will you let me take you out? on a real date?”

* gesturing to the take out *

he isn’t embarrassed at all

you CANNOT stop looking at his eyes

they’re so genuine and loving that you almost forget to answer

once he gets confirmation he promises to both plan and pay for the whole thing, even as you protest

how are you already in love with this man 

hyunjin:

poor hyunjinnie probably spent the last four months trying to decide how to ask you out

he’s been head over heels for you for a while now

and he knows he needs to make his move

(cause, let’s be honest- you’re a catch, and he’s protective. could i make it any more obvious?)

he ends up thinking that just being straightforward is the way to do it

so he spends the whole day just trying to get you alone

this is harder than he anticipated

so finally he just grabs you while you’re in conversation

and goes

“y/n, i’m sorry-it’s important, can i just talk to you a sec?”

you go with him, if not out of pure curiosity 

literally the SECOND you’re alone he just swivels around says

“did you know that you are really hard to catch alone?”

and you’re kinda just like: 

huh

but he continues

“anyways, i just had a question for you?”

“oh, okay. what is it?”

this is when the nerves hit him 

“oh, uh- i guess i was just wondering- if you would go out with me sometime? nothing big, i just-”

you interrupt him without thinking

“yes.”

* cue one completely flustered and w h i p p e d hyunjin *

jisung:

is not shy at ALL

but he wants to make sure you’re comfortable

so he doesn’t make a big deal out of it

he spent a lot of time debating how to do it

but he decides to write a note (so cute)

he waits until you leave the room for a sec

he slips a note into your bag that just says

“date? -jisungie”

with a lil heart next to it

then he panics and just books it

when you find it a bit later you’re initially confused

but then it kinda hits you

you FREAK out and track him down-

only to realize you have no idea what you want to say to him

but he knows you too well

and he just laughs when he sees your face

this makes you laugh too, even though you’re nervous

when the two of you finally recover he’s just

“but really- please? let me take you out.”

you know your face is on fire

so you just nod

but that’s all the confirmation he needs

felix:

king of overthinking 

we all know felix has EVERYTHING planned in his head

like, to a T

he’s been very stressed about asking you out, but he also doesn’t want to miss his chance

so he just thinks and thinks and thinks

he just wants it to be perfect for you

he decides to just hang out in the comfort of your home to do it

the two of you are just chilling (y’know. FRIEND THINGS.)

but he is completely in his own head

and you can tell

you get to be a little worried for him, so you just ask:

“hey- are you alright? you seem a little off tonight.”

he turns super pink and tries to play it off

but since you’re a stubborn piece of work, you pry a lil

and he cracks under pressure (I FEEL BAD OMG)

he finally just looks up and snaps:

“y/n- i’m really sorry. i wanted to to this well, and make it cute and romantic and have you fall in love with me in an instant. but you- god, you’re so nerve-wracking!”

you just sit there

completely flabbergasted

he bursts into awkward laughter, and between coughs he’s just like

“y/n, i was gonna ask you out. i’ve loved you for a while now.”

he continues: “but i guess i fucked up, didn’t i...”

you jump and interrupt him

and insist that he was being crazy- what was he doing letting his mind run free with that?

finally, to shut him up, you just lean over and place your lips over his.

seungmin:

is surprisingly confident

but also low-key has no idea what he’s doing

he decides to send you a text

he asks if you want to grab coffee, which you absolutely do

he doesn’t realize until later...

that he didn’t actually specify it was supposed to be a date.

oops.

but he kinda just goes with it, and the two of you maintain good conversation

finally he interrupts you mid-sentence and is like

“y/n, will you answer a question for me?”

you nod, and he continues:

“what is- uh- this- exactly? to you?”

* nodding down at your long empty coffee cups *

you don’t really understand the question (valid)

he kinda just sighs and starts laughing

“well. it was supposed to be a date. i’m just really bad at this.”

you just. cannot believe your ears

he just laughs harder and says

“so. can we try again?”

you start laughing too

and you know that even if it wasn’t the best first date,

you’d felt right at home. 

jeongin:

poor baby is SO NERVOUS 

he’s spent like,,,,

the last 6 days trying to plan how to finally do this 

but he decides to approach you and let it try to come up naturally

you two carry a conversation for a few minutes and then he asks

“so...do you- you know- like anyone?”

your face turns bright red

you can’t stop thinking

does he know oh my god am i that obvious i-

but you end up just looking away and being like

“i mean- i guess?”

he can’t decide how to respond

because on one hand- that person could be him

but on the other hand, it’s more likely that it’s not, and then it would be awkward as hell for him to ask you out

he kinda panics

then against his own will he just goes for it

“y/n-ah. i don’t really know how to say this- but will you let me take you out? i really like you...”

his ears are RED OH BOY

his voice kinda just trails off and you can tell he feels insecure

but when you tell him yes...

he was literally born for this

he gets so excited and doesn’t hide it at all

thank you so much for reading!! p.s. my asks are now open, feel free to send in your requests !

[tryingmyves]

Lovefool

Ask:  Huge congrats on 60 followers!!!! 🤩🤩 I wanna request 14 with Kaminari (preferably romantic) pretty please 🥰 - @melodyinyourmind​ 

asldkjaslkfh okay bestie idek WHY but i was like so stressed to write this for you??? i just love you a lot and really hope you like this - it ended up sweeter than a candy apple, oops. the prompt is italicized

PAIRING: Kaminari x Y/N (female)

c/w: swearing

a/n: Kaminari asks you to prom! super fluffy, quirkless!au, is it still considered a high school au if the characters are in high school canonically?

Send me a request! ► 60 Followers event

The summation of your academic career is on the horizon after twelve years of schooling. Graduation is only three weeks away at this point, and while you will have finals to deal with soon, you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. All things considered, your high school experience hasn’t been too terrible, it was certainly superior to your middle school experience. But you were ready to finally be out in the world on your own, in the real world, where there are things more important than how popular you are. You’ve always been more of a background character, never the person picked first in gym class or for group projects. You have a few close friends, but mostly you are just another nameless face in the sea of students at UA High. Not everyone could be Shoto Todoroki or Katsuki Bakugo, and most days your social status isn’t even an afterthought to you. However, on rare occasions you’re inundated with insecurities. Your mind drifts, struggling to comprehend what a day in the life of Momo Yaoyorozu must be like. To be beautiful, loved, and adored; an ideal debutante surrounded in perfumed hearts and perfection. A part of you yearns for even just a taste of that kind of existence, but it seemed that you were better suited to a more monotonous reality. To be honest, you were planning to phone in the last few weeks of your senior year but your friend Mina had other plans.  

“What the hell do you mean you’re not going to prom?!” your pink-haired friend all but shouts as the two of you walk to her car, hoping to get out of the parking lot before it was overrun with hundreds of students leaving school for the day. 

“What I just said, I’m not going to prom,” you answer, “I don’t have a date and it just seems kind of pointless right? It’s just a dance after all.” 

“It’s not just a dance, Y/N. It’s our senior prom! It’s like the high school experience!” She lectures. “Besides, we don’t need dates for prom. We just need to look hot as fuck and dance our asses off!”

You shrug, “Yeah, I think if the last four years have taught us anything it’s that we don’t really qualify as ‘hot as fuck.’”

“Uh - speak for yourself. I’m fine as hell. And I’m not friends with ugly people, so that means you're hot too.” Mina counters, unlocking the doors to her gold Camry and throwing her backpack in the backseat.

You just laugh, shaking your head at her as you get into the passenger seat. 

“I’m serious, Y/N,” she continues, sliding behind the steering wheel, “We’re going to prom. So let’s try this again - hey, Y/N, do you want to go prom dress shopping this weekend?” She looks at you with raised eyebrows and a tight smile. You know that there’s no getting out of this.

“Yeah, yeah.” you sigh, rolling your eyes at your best friend “let’s go shopping this weekend.”

“Fuck yes bestie!!” Mina beams,  finally turning her keys in the ignition. The cough of her car’s engine is quickly drowned out by Ashnikko and she whips out of the parking lot, rolling down the windows of the car to let her music blare. You don’t bother to continue a conversation on the ride. You would have to yell to be heard over the vibrations of the subwoofer in the trunk. Instead, you join in with your best friend, scream-singing the chorus to Deal With It while the bass rattles the car. Your jam session only lasts about 20 minutes before Mina drops you off at your house and tells you she’s picking you up at 11 AM tomorrow. It’s not a question, but an order. You’ve been friends with Mina Ashido long enough to know that if you weren’t ready to go tomorrow morning, she’d pull you out of bed herself and drag you to the mall in your pajamas. Mina has a wild side, she’s eternally looking for a party or an adventure, and when she finds it, she’s guaranteed to bring you along with her - whether you want to go or not. But you were thankful for her chaotic personality, it forced you to engage in the world around you instead of just watching it pass by. And even though you won’t admit it, you typically have fun on Mina’s escapades - prom will be probably the same.

But before you can think about shopping or prom, you’ve got to get through your shift at the theater tonight. You head inside to exchange your school bag for your uniform and phone charger before you walk to the bus station. Working at the theater isn’t too bad - you get free popcorn and see all the latest movies for free. After the initial rush of patrons purchasing tickets and snacks, you pretty much just get to slack off and mess around with your coworkers for a few hours. You listen to music and check the schedule for tonight on the bus. You find that you’re on concessions tonight with Hakagure and Kaminari. It wouldn’t be a terrible shift, you think, Hakagure is pretty quiet, but Kaminari is regularly doing something stupid, and more often than not it’s entertaining too.

You get to work, change into your uniform, and then head to the concessions area. Hagakure is already setting things up for the impending rush. You return her hello and set to work, helping restock cups and lids and facing the candy in the glass cases. 

“Looks like I’m spending my Friday night with two hotties,” Kaminari says, striding over to the counter, “that’s pretty standard for me, ya know?”

Kaminari is flirtatious, the man is a walking encyclopedia of pick-up lines. He winks in your direction, Hagakure doesn’t respond, too busy fumbling with the empty nacho trays in her hands. “I don’t think it counts if they have to pay us to be here,” you quip.

He gives an exaggerated pout at your response. “Come on, Y/N. You know you love me! Let me take you out and prove it to you.”

“Pfft, whatever,” you laugh, Kaminari was constantly using lines like that. He’s probably asked you out at least six times since you started working with him at the theater. It’s just his personality, he was invariably hitting on someone. Anyone who knew Kaminari knew not to take his advances seriously, he just likes to masquerade as a ladies man. You think that he certainly looks the part with his golden eyes and bright smile; his blonde hair always perfectly in place, completed by his signature black streak. You try not to ruminate on Kaminari or his attractiveness, turning your attention back to the batch of popcorn you had started. Sure, maybe you had a crush on him, but you do your best to ignore it, convincing yourself you’re reading into his cheesy come-ons too much. However, you’ve failed to notice that recently Kaminari only seems to flirt with you, and more frequently than usual. 

He hides it well, but your rejection saddens him. He blames himself for his flippant reputation. His incessant flirting makes you think he’s joking, when in reality the way you laugh at his stupid jokes makes his heart flutter. He wants you to know that he means it when he says he was just thinking about you and that he truly does want to take you on a date. To be honest, Kaminari has been thinking about tonight all week and he’s nervous. Desperate to finally make his feelings towards you clear, he consulted Mina about his plans. 

[LAST WEEK]

“Oh my god, Denki, you’re such a moron! Just tell her how you feel, dumbass.” Mina couldn’t even believe what she was hearing. Kaminari had just confessed how much he likes you to your best friend, begging for her advice on what to do.

“I’ve tried! She always thinks I’m joking,” he whines, “no one ever takes me seriously.”

Mina rolls her eyes so hard they nearly get stuck in the back of her head, “Yeah, I wonder why.”

“I have an idea but I’ll need your help,” his eyes are pleading, “and I need you to tell me if it’s stupid…”

“Well…” Mina starts, “It’s your idea so it probably is. Spill it, whatcha got?” She sits down next to Kaminari now, interested in his plan.

“We’re both on the schedule for next Friday at work, right? Well, after a movies over we have to go in and clean out the theater before the next show.” he rubs the back of his neck with a hand, hoping Mina will approve of his plan. “I thought that I could make, like, a short video to play on the projector, like an end credit scene, and uh…. Use it to ask Y/N to prom.” He says the last part quietly, embarrassed by his own idea.

He looks up and Mina’s mouth is agape, and Kaminari swears she somehow managed to vocalize the equivalent of a key smash. “Oh my god, I take it back!!! You’re not a moron, Denki that is fucking adorable. Yes, yes, yes! I will help just tell me what you need.”

With your best friend’s approval, Kaminari sets to work. His pickup lines are corny, but what he and Mina create in preparation for his plan makes them look tame. Mina was mostly responsible for holding the camera, as Kaminari already had an elaborate script planned for his confession. He decided to go old-school and make the whole video black and white in post. Thankfully, Mina was great at surprises so you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary for the week she was helping him and Kaminari had gotten approval from your manager to use the projector in theater six for his proposal. He and Mina finished filming on Wednesday night and Kaminari spent several hours editing on Thursday, but by the time his shift with you rolled around he was ready. He just had to make it a few more hours without blowing the surprise. 

Less than 30 minutes before the big reveal he almost let it slip. Hagakure is talking to you about the dress she bought for prom and asks if you’re excited for the big dance. 

“Oh, I’m not going to prom,” you respond.

Kaminari whips around at your statement, worrying his whole plan is about to fall apart. He opens his mouth to say something but you continue, “Er - I mean, I wasn’t going to. But Mina’s kind of forced me into it. We’re supposed to go dress shopping tomorrow.”

Kaminari let’s out a sigh of relief, and quickly turns back around. Luckily, you didn’t notice his odd behavior as you chatted with your other coworker. The pair of you continue your small talk until a steady flow of people start spilling from the theater, announcing the end of the movie. 

“Well, guess that’s our que,” Hagakure says, moving to depart from behind the counter. 

“Uh - why don’t you stay at the counter, Hagakure?!” Kaminari says in a bit of a panic, “You always sweep out the theater, let Y/N and I handle it tonight.” He doesn’t even wait for her response, already ushering you towards theater six. 

“Woah, what’s the rush Denki?” you ask, walking a bit faster than normal to keep up. 

“Huh? Oh - no rush. There’s no rush,” he chuckles, “just uh, ready to clean up, I guess.” He mentally cursed himself, Mina was right. He was acting like a moron. But you didn’t say anything further, you just stopped to grab a broom and a dust pan before heading into the theater. 

“Why don’t you take the bottom section, Y/N and I’ll go up top?” Kaminari offers. 

You shrug, “Sounds good to me.” You weave between the rows of seats, sweeping forgotten popcorn into piles in the dim lights of the theater. You're about to bend over to pick up a discarded soda cup when the sound of film catches your attention. 

You look to the screen and see a grainy film leader counting down from 6, each second accompanied  by a beep. The countdown ends and the screen shifts, now displaying Kaminari standing in front of a bathroom mirror, the whole scene in black and white. He looks like he’s rehearsing something to himself, but there’s no words, instead a light, jazzy tune serves as the audio to this unexpected show. Your eyes are fixed to the screen, you’re both confused and intrigued. The monochrome Kaminari nods to himself in the mirror, seemingly pleased with whatever he’s rehearsed. He gives himself an exaggerated thumbs up before spraying himself with some cologne. He turns from the mirror and exits the bathroom with a spring in his step, the camera backing away from him as he makes his way down the hall. He comes to a stair banister and spins in place before hopping onto the rail; sliding to the bottom of the steps. The camera continues to follow him as he grabs a bouquet of roses from the table in the entryway. He gives the camera a dazzling smile before striding out the front door, closing it behind him, as the music and screen fade to black. 

You turn around, looking for Kaminari to explain, unsure of what to make of the unexpected short. When you turn you find him standing directly behind you, bouquet of yellow roses in hand, and a nervous smile on his face. 

“Kaminari, wha-“ 

He cuts you off, “Y/N, will you go to prom with me?” He holds the roses forward to you.

You can hardly form words, was this actually happening right now? “S-seriously?” is all you can manage. 

Kaminari nods, “I’ve liked you for a while, Y/N. But I’m always joking around so you don’t take me seriously when I ask you out or flirt with you… I am such a fool for you. And I would seriously love to take you to prom.” You can see his face is red, even in the dim theater lighting, and you can feel your own face flushing at his words. You fling your arms around his neck, launching forward to hug him. 

“Yes, I’ll go to prom with you, Denki!” you say happily. You couldn’t believe it. Denki Kaminari asked you to prom, with a Charlie Chaplin-esque short film and a bouquet of roses. You thought this sort of thing was reserved for daydreams and romcoms.

His free arm wraps itself around your waist, settling on your lower back, the other still holding the flowers he got you. He’s smiling from ear to ear, beaming at your answer. He plants a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to see what dress you find tomorrow,” he says into your ear. 

[koushisatori]

I’m not telling, that I’m hurting

matsukawa x f!reader

genre: a slight bit of angst, and then a slight bit of fluff

warnings: hm, maybe the slightly suggestive last sentence <3

word count: 5.8k

note: pls accept my ugly baby, my brain fried itself writing it  (09.12. finally beta’ed my ugly baby hehe)

remember how I said Kuroo is a chill boyfriend and is quick to show that he dislikes something, openly seething and brooding?

Mattsun is even more laid-back in general, there's probably a picture of him next to the word in the dictionary

BUT he also hides it super well when he doesn’t particularly like something

Like, you're probably not realizing that he’s upset or angry until he decides to be very, very obvious about it

and even if he can't hide it (bc it's not only one thing bothering him but more, extremely rare) he won't talk about it on his own

Which is not only exhausting for you but also straining on your relationship at those times

There are two different kinds of pissed though

It isn’t something he wears openly but he gets jealous pretty fast

you’re beautiful, smart, funny and friendly

you’re everything he wants in his significant other and he’d do anything for you, but he hates how there are truly people out there thinking they could be better for you and ask you out 

ofc they want a piece of your attention, he understands, it doesn't mean he that he can't hate it

Bc..maybe (and he would never admit it) he was a bit more insecure than he let on, hiding it under a perfectly trained appearance, all lazy smile, and sarcastic comments

this is his usual state of being pissed, and it’s exclusively reserved for and directed at others

After you officially became an item, it got better - it’s not hard to see that you two were a package deal match made in heaven

back to the day, you started dating:

you two weren’t yet a couple yet but you both were pretty obvious w your wants

There was that unspoken push and pull battle between you regarding who would give in first and ask the other out officially

That moment, you were standing next to Matsukawa holding his hand  which is amazing come on, his large hands engulfing yours is a blessing

(‘’Mattsunnn, my fingers are so cold, will you warm them up?’’ – ‘’That’s a lame attempt of an excuse, Y/N,’’ he had said while taking your hand anyway ‘’you could have that every day, you know, all you have to do is ask me first’’ – ‘’In your dreams, Issei ~’’ ) 

it didn’t stop that one guy from his class, so arrogant and sure of himself, from coming up to you, completely ignoring Matsukawa, and asking you out?? 

Mattsun did not like that AT ALL

If glares could kill, you’d have to visit your boyfriend in jail every week <3

you just gaped at the other, it was hard to believe that this guy was serious but…he waited for an answer

moments of staring were followed with you both simultaneously - he, hiding his annoyance with sarcasm, you mildly concerned for the others health - letting out a ''What the hell''

Before you could tell the other guy that you're not the slightest interested, Mattsun answered for you

''It's sooo cute of you to ask me, but I think it would be unfair of me to agree and just leave Y/N hanging like that…additionally, I only have one hand holding hand available and…'' he sighed deeply, lifting your still firmly intertwined fingers, his brown eyes boring into the other guys ''I have to hold her hand for her for…probably forever, so you're…a bit late.'' 

Letting him pull you away, you giggle ''You know you kind of declared us as offical, a couple, for everyone to hear.'' - ''I absolutely did not do such thing, I'm now simply eternally attached to you and your hand, that's a difference.''

You won that round nonetheless bc him telling the other off was THE gossip for the next week

Your best friend gave you the glorious idea to attend his game at the end of the week in his volleyball shirt but tease him a bit until then about wearing his friend's one 

''You know I should totally ask Tooru if he would lend me his jersey, just to make that jealous bitch in my class shut up and stop pestering me simply for actually knowing him.'', ''Have you seen Iwaizumi's biceps? Please tell me that you wouldn't totally support our strong ace…and maybe open a cult just for his arms. Let me drop all of my life duties real quick, I'm meant to be a good housewife.''; ''Taka-chan said he'd pay for my lunch the whole week if I'd come to your game showcasing his number, you wouldn't mind right?'' 

The thing that had happened and you riling him up all week ended with the other kind of anger which is the silent treatment, completed with a very cold shoulder (which is also, in all honest, his specialty)

him punishing you with silence the whole Thursday as well as Friday morning

He avoids being alone with you, answers messages as short as possible, spends his lunch starring at his food, and not making eye contact

(he's still watching you, just bc he is currently annoyed with you after deviling him so much, doesn't mean he stops wanting to kiss your pretty face until your lips are swollen and your cheeks dusted in pink and red)

The worst is that he KNOWS that you're teasing him but he can't help it okay, you found his achilles heel  </3

Anyways, of course, when the opposing team arrives and they warm-up, you want your…not boyfriend but close enough boy friend to stop moping around (Makki begged you: ''please do something, he won't clown the others or joke around with me, all he does is sulking'')

Even without Takahiro coming up though, you would have gone to him before the game but it just makes it more adorable and hilarious bc he is a bit dumb there, I mean?? The only hand you're holding (and love doing whenever possible) does not belong to either Makki, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, or anyone else for that matter

It wasn't an easy task to discreetly rob him off of his other tricot but you managed

So, while they were doing their warm-up drills you - with Hanamakis help - sneaked into the gym

wearing HIS number on your back and front, together with a pair of jeans that he had complimented on dates before (they make your backside look amazing and you can't tell me that he does not appreciate a nice ass)

After you teased him with the others for so long, he immediately perked up when Hanamaki playfully wolf-whistled at you from across the gym, adding an ''You look amazing, Y/N-chan. Wanna get some food later?'' 

(Makki and you - overdramatically calling each other Taka-chan & Y/N-chan whenever possible to mock Oikawa a bit as well - ended up being best friends. bonus: you both LOVE to irritate Mattsun every now and then since he really only looses some of his composure in relation to you)

glaring at his best friend, Matsukawa strode over to you and dragged you right out of the gym again

then, a few minutes of silence

him checking you out kind of hungrily, longingly (trying not to be obvious about it, too)

before you finally relent and pull him down, standing on your tiptoes

To flick his forehead with all the strength in your fingers :)

‘’The fuck, Y/N.’’

''You are a fucking morron, Issei, and you hopefully know that.'' you sigh, pressing your lips against the point your fingers had hit against to sooth it

Avoiding your gaze - hiding his excited blush - he answered with a noncommitting grunt and a shrug

''you better win this game, and warm up my hands right after, you let them turn to popsicles while not doing your job for nearly two days only bc you were petty''

The smile that now curled his lips while nodding was genuine

not the sarcastic one or the teasing smirk he wore usually for everyone to see

a small, very pleased, and very happy smile, one he offered rarely and only to you

After the game - and having to watch other people ogle your nicely hugged curves even with you wearing his shirt and yelling his name for at least 2/3 of the time - he swept you off of your feet by openly and rather dramatically kissing you all Disney-like (earning some gagging noises from his friends) and asking you out in the same over-the-top kind of way

Don't worry though, he usually only gets frisky 1. when you two are alone

2. when you both decide to annoy the others (but that's more of a show and lots of unnecessary nicknames and sounds - honestly please have some decency children are watching) 

and 3. when he becomes insecure jealous

You know if it's the jealousy burning in him

he's attempting to not show it to you

Yet his grip on your waist is a smidge stronger, his slightly amused expression a bit too tight, too strained to be natural, and he's uncooperative…more than usual

This specific thing happened, just now

 ''Mattsun…'' you murmur, struggling to turn around in his vice-like grip. 

You tried to loosen his arms around your waist a few times while ranting about the mathematical problem and the upcoming test you had, hoping he would offer you his help. To no avail. He probably didn't really realize that he was squeezing you to death or tuning you out. This is why you resorted to wiggling around in his hold until you were finally facing your huffy boyfriend. One of your hands on his biceps and your other playing with the hair in his neck in hopes to calm him down a bit.

''Who spat in your breakfast this morning, you're usually not that grumpy,'' you continue softly, your tone between teasing and worry. Even though you and Hanamaki enjoy riling him up you both always make sure to stay inside a certain limit. Nothing you couldn't solve with an apology, sweet kisses, and genuine assurances that it was nothing more than a joke. In the end, he is the only person that causes your heart to beat faster. The one you like…love. You knew that you loved him for some time now, the desire to have a perfect moment to announce it is the only thing keeping you from saying it out loud.

The shrug you receive wouldn't do it though. Him tending to let it consume him until he snaps is not good. Not for him, and for the relationship of the both of you as well. ''Issei, come on,..'' you gently prod, ''…tell me. Stop living up to your name and talk to me,''

There were a lot of reactions you expected. Another huff maybe, his usual 'Nothing' or even the true reason for his behavior. What you did not expect though was his annoyed groan and him nearly growling at you. ''Y/N, fucking leave it. Stop sticking your nose into my business. Don't you get that I don't want to talk?!''

For a second your breath hitches. The annoyance…slight anger in his voice startling you. ''Jesus fucking Christ, fine,'' you curse - now irritated yourself. It caught him off-guard enough due to its rareness of you cussing out loud. At least enough to push against his chest and free yourself off of his hold, successfully stopping him from just hiding his face away in your neck. ''If that’s what you want, fine. I'm sorry for worrying about you, Matsukawa.'' you say provokingly before you let out a small sigh, ''I'll go to class, maybe Hajime is back from chasing the Captain and can actually help me with math…listens to me, to begin with. Not mope around to the point of ignoring me for some unknown reason.'' with that said you turn around on your heels and leave him standing.

You know he would eventually come around in the next few hours. You hope. Mattsun wasn't or rather isn't angry with you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been as close to you as he had been but his inability to merely talk with you about what was and is bothering him proves to be one of the few reasons that are able to drive you up the wall.

Mathematics being mathematics, the problem wasn't just simply explained within those ten minutes before class started.

If things were normal, you wouldn't be as bothered as you are right now though. Issei would find a way to get it into your pretty little head. He knew how to explain and what to transcribe for you to get the idea behind all those letters and lines scrawled between the numbers.

The problem is that you usually did this in the calmness of your rooms on the weekend. As it seems though, did most people get the problem from the get to go and the teacher decided to write the topical test in your afternoon class today instead of next week, so she could begin with the new thematic on Monday.

Alas, you're fucked.

Not only would you get the worst grade in your whole mathematical carrier but you also couldn't ask your boyfriend, and listen to his deep gentle yet teasing voice explaining stupid equations to you with him being so infuriatingly upset over whatever.

 To your luck, Iwaizumi offers to be your knight in shining armor in extreme times of need. (He tried to convince you to just go to Mattsun because ''He's head over heels for you, don't tell me a stupid fight holds you both back from being insufferable together, Y/N'' - ''We can't be fighting, when he doesn't talk or listen to me.''.) Sacrificing a free hour and his precious lunchtime sitting on the school's rooftop with you, he explains the procedure over and over again. 

After what felt like a whole notebook full of wrong exercises and another one with their corrected versions, the structure of the problem does finally make sense to you. Now cheerfully humming, you look over older tasks you didn't get before when he decides to speak up.

''Y/N?'' Iwaizumi asks, his voice completely calm and…soothing?

''Hmm…'' you hum letting him know that you're listening while correcting another exercise.

''Mattsun will relax once we won that game, okay? Don't be so hard on him.'' His words caught you off-guard, which leads you to look up, question mark clear on your face. ''It's against Akumahebi? The ones that provoked and insulted him so underhandedly last time? Hit all his nerves spot on?'' he adds questioning.

Lips forming a big 'O'. You remember today's opponents vividly.

Seijoh first played against them at the end of your second year, a few weeks after you and Mattsun had started talking with different intentions than throwing terrible pick up lines at each other. Foremost for shit and giggles but actually starting to have hope that the other might mean it.

They stood at the other side of the net and began with their unsportsmanlike strategy by haunting him. ''Imagine thinking someone so mediocre could be rightfully on the field next to players like your ace, could compete against someone like Iwaizumi Hajime.'' or ''The only reason you're on the field is your height, the first years will take over your spot sooner than you think. You are replaceable after all.''. There was no obvious reason for them to pick out Issei but they did. Hissing different things under their breath. You guessed that it's because he always looked so unbothered. As if nothing could wilt his stupidly attractive lopsided smirk.

Afterward, the four of you had a hard time convincing him that those snakes knew shit. That he was on the team for his skills, his amazing blocking, and strategical thinking ability, not his height. That he would be a regular until he left the volleyball club and that he was respected by all of his kouhais.

''Shit,…them? Really?'' you jut our your lower lip. ''He didn't tell me...but I also didn't ask.'' you admit guiltily. ''Well, then I have to cheer extra loud for Issei, I think.'' A triumphant smile stretches across your face, gripping the collar of your uniform with one and pulling up the collar of the jersey underneath with the other. Enough to see the Seijoh colors to come to light. You had stolen it out of your boyfriend's bag two days ago after he went to the bathroom and had hidden it in your desk drawer until today. You nearly forgot to put it on after you accidentally slept in this morning, so you kind of just threw it over your head while hoping to not fall over trying to get into your tights. ''I'm ready to scream at the top of my lungs for my favorite player,…'' you say before you at least partly bashful add ''…no offense. You are my second favorite star player, Haji.''

At that, Iwaizumi simply laughs and playfully pushes against your shoulder. 

Later that evening you found yourself wearing one of Issei's ridiculously large pullovers and sweatpants, sitting wrapped up in blankets on your couch in the living room. Your chest hurting from swallowed and choked up sobs. Even though your parents weren't home when you arrived and wouldn't be for the next two days, enjoying a long-planned short vacation, you didn't allow yourself to cry. A gory horror movie on-screen meant to distract you from your thoughts ends up being nothing more than background noises while wallowing in self-pity.

At one point, Oikawa and Iwaizumi stood at your door - even though you hoped that it would be a certain boy you loved - worried glances boring into your skull from the first second on, and never ceasing.

You didn't even know if your team won or lost. It wasn't like you asked them either.

All you cared for is Issei. Issei, who seemingly decided that he would stop caring for you.

___________________________________

Iwaizumi-senpai and Y/N-senpai would make an adorable couple, don't you think?

You leaving him to make true on your words intensified the insecurities that had just started to brood underneath the surface a few days ago. He couldn't help it, but he definitely would not share those silly thoughts with you.

Issei knew they were wrong. But that didn't stop them from invading the darkest corners of his brain.

You have to agree that Y/N-san and Iwaizumi-san seem really close.

Overhearing the first years giggling about his girlfriend and one of his best friends being a cute couple amplified all of it. Also…he realized just now…since when do you call Iwaizumi by his name? When did he allow you to call him Hajime?

''Have you seen him smile like that with another girl? I, for my part, haven't seen that smile off the court where he can do the thing he loves the most.'' 

 ''Oh, stop, Y/N-senpai has a boyfriend! Don't you know? I feel uncomfortable speculating about something like that.''

 '' 'Course, I know! I just say that, if I were in a relationship with someone, I'd want my boyfriend to be a bit more…relationship-y about it, you know? Like, yeah, they hold hands and they hug. But all they do besides this is banter meaninglessly…more like friends, not like a couple should behave! Iwaizumi-san, though, even without being as close to her bodily, gives off more intense boyfriend vibes than this other player.''

''His name is Matsuka-'' 

‘'And, Y/N-senpai calls him Hajime, I think she even said Haji once, isn't that cute?!''

''Stop it, stupid! You shouldn't be so loud with your words, you might spread something accidentally. And just because she gives them nicknames doesn't imply anything. I'm also giving you nicknames! And, she looks happy with Matsu-''

‘'Yeah yeah, but you don't like me like that. Anyway, just think about it! Would you really say no to someone like Iwaizumi-san though…? What I'd give for him to at least look at me like that. If I were Y/N-sa-''

''You aren't, can we go now, don’t wanna be late for class because of you again.''

 Iwaizumi did seem to feel extra relaxed around you. And you seemed to like his presence as well. 

What if those first years had a point?

For the second time that day, he growled.

No, there was nothing to doubt or think about. It wasn't unusual of you to use their names. You literally started calling Hanamaki 'Taka-chan' within 10 minutes of knowing each other. Making friends was easy for you, and that you and Iwaizumi were in the same class with Oikawa probably just strengthened your bond with each other to endure the Captain's antics.

Issei nodded to himself, decidedly ignoring the little whisper of doubt in the back of his mind for now.

''I am not jealous.'' The black-haired student repeated this sentence in his mind over and over again. His best friend wouldn't do such a thing as 'stealing you away', nor would you leave him like that. People should shut their mouths. Mind their own problems. And because of him definitely not being insecure jealous, there was nothing he had to tell you.

Around lunchtime, Matsukawa decided to make good on his words and apologize to you. He would explain that he just felt on edge due to the game against this specific team, you would forgive him and then things would be back to normal…hopefully. The problem was, that he couldn't find you. Not in your classroom nor with your friends, who didn't have any idea regarding your whereabouts as well.

The dark-haired blocker was about to send you a message to ask you to meet him before your last lesson and his volleyball practice when he hears your beautiful laugh coming from the staircase right in front of him. Pressing himself to the wall he watches you coming down from the school roof with Iwaizumi, jumping into his arms with a blinding smile and running off to your class a second later.

''Would you really say no to someone like Iwaizumi?  ~ Imagine thinking you could compete against someone like your ace.''

With the greasy, suffocating feeling of jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach, he storms off in the other direction.

 Right before warming up for the game in the afternoon, he heard you chatting with Hanamaki in front of the locker room while he was changing. And while the door opened - Kyoutani walking in and Oikawa leaving to fullfil his captain duties conscientiously - he looked at his strawberry haired friend and your back. For the split second he could see you, he realized just how much having you around all day means to him. His eyes wandered. Over your softly shining hair. Slowly outlining your in Seijoh-colours clad shoulders, down your arms to your elbow where they are bent to cross in front of your chest to hold your jacket and uniform pullover. Then down your back and-

With an annoyed huff, he found himself throwing his locker door in its lock, bending down to pull up his knee pads more aggressively than necessary. Ignoring the curious looks and whispers from his teammates he simply grunted out an Ok, when Makki came in telling him that you would be waiting for him.

__________________________

Issei 💗👁️👅👁️: go, I'm not coming to see ya', don't need ur encourgmnt or you now You: Mattsun, what's wrong, honestly, you're scaring me Issei 💗👁️👅👁️: sure You: come on, I wanna support and show who's my favorite player Issei 💗👁️👅👁️: hilarious, stay, go home, idc

__________________________

"Hey, Y/N-chan, what I meant to ask you earlier…why were you wearing Iwa-chan's shirt." Oikawa carefully questions, his perfectly shaped eyebrow shooting up to emphasize his words.

"I diD wHAT NOW?" - "She did what?!"

Without wasting a second you jump up from under your blanket mountain and sprint up the stairs to your room to look through your hamper.

There it was, that goddamn tricot. A 4 looking right back at you instead of a 3 or 2. It brought every process of thought to an halt.

"But I- 2 days- what, I got this- I was in-" you stop again, slowly turning your head to Iwaizumi, pointing at him. "Since when were you missing this?"

The ace immediately straightens up under your intense gaze. "Three days? No two? Since our last practice, I guess. Kyoutani and Yahaba had some…problems and fought it out in the locker room. But I…wasn't missing it! I thought that it might be in the laundry by accident.'' he answers hesitantly.

You blink. A few times. Nod. And then a loud laugh starts to bubble out of you, interchanging itself with heavy sobs, forcing you to fold into yourself  and hide your face in your hands.

With a worried expression, Oikawa kneels down beside you. ''Y/N-chan…are you okay?''

"He's so fucking dumb, Tooru, why do I even love him? And I am, too!" You hiccup pitifully. "Makki and he switch numbers from time to time, in case you haven't realized. They say it's because it doesn't really matter in the end, it’s fun to confuse others and the worst that could happen is that they forget to wash it before the other wears it,'' you add, a little laugh escapes your lips before your voice breaks in favor of a hiccup again. ''I guess they were about to do that again but with Mad Dog on the loose, the chaos was enough to mix up all the shirts on the bench completely. And since I stole this one secretly out of Issei's bag when he went to the bathroom and quickly hid it to surprise him today, I accidentally grabbed the wrong one instead of his without realizing it."

You gasp for air, your stuffed nose making it difficult to breathe properly. "And then you have to play against this team, out of all possibilities, it's them! So, of course, he's already fed up, and then I'm wearing Hajimes number who he already kind of feels inferior to on the court, where he's the ace and vice-captain first and not his best friend, due to this stupid fucks picking on his insecurities. Fuck!"

For a second you bury your head in your hands again. "No, you know what, fuck this. I don't need him to bury that shit in himself again, or to have stupid thoughts, or leave me because of it'' you furiously hiccup, standing up. ''I can go over, too, and put that behind us.''

 The first time you actually took a second to breathe and evaluate the situation, you had already rung the bell at the Matsukawa family house. Thrice. For good measure. (And so he knew that there's no way out, that you wouldn't leave.) After waiting for solid 5 minutes - knowing that he'd usually reach the door in under a minute, one if he had napped before, you glare at the window above. A strawberry pink colored patch of hair peek out from underneath.

''Alright, if that's what you want'' you grumble. Going over to the trellis and climbing up on it onto the small canopy before finalizing your unauthorized entry by narrowing your furious eyes at two unbelieving faces. Well…he should never have dared you to try to enter his room like this for a joke in the first place when you first became friends. Now, he would definitely not escape you.

''Open. Now. I will break this dumb window, if that's the only way to get you to talk to me, Issei.''

In the end, minutes of starring later, Hanamaki relents and opens the window. ''Thanks,'' you say sweetly before you chop at the strawberry haired boy's side. ''Y/N-chan, I thought we had something special,'' he wheezes, holding his side.

''We have a talk later, Makki, this was only for not opening the door now'' you say, promptly throwing him out of your boyfriend's room. Your voice seemed to sound scary enough for him to leave rather freely. Or at least it made clear that there was no space for buts. That this was a talk between Mattsun and You. Alone with your boyfriend, you turn around to face Matsukawa. To glare at him.

''What do yo-'' - ''Shut up, Issei. You're going to listen and talk to me right now without filter.'' you hiss. While he tried to keep his cool demeanor, the black-haired boy swung his legs off of the bed to sit properly and not slouch, wanting to listen to you. Wanting you to explain…probably.

''Issei, you morron, you deserve the hardest forehead flick in the history of forehead flicks! What were you thinking?! Why didn't you just tell me that it was them you had to play against today? I would have done everything for you to feel better. I would have been understanding of your mood because I know what they did, but no. You decide to be jealous instead? Of Hajime out of all people? Give me a statement and I will refute it within seconds, whatever you want. Come one, test me. And I dare you to shrug just once,...just once!, and I will - even though I lo-. I will freaking kick your dumb ass to the moon..''

A snort, unfairly attractive and so very Mattsun, leaves him. ''As if you could reach that hig-'' - ''Thin fucking ice, Matsukawa.'' 

With a sigh, he scratches the back of his neck. ''Why were you saying you want to 'support' your favorite player when you were wearing Iwa's shirt? I mean I can’t prescribe who you like, I guess, it’s your decision...but,...hah,...maybe don’t make it sound...I dont know.'' Issei asks straight away, watching the ground between you. 

''Because certain volleyball players I know like to change jersey numbers after practice. And because of Mad Dog-chan being on the hunt for Yahaba's head, a very specific already mentioned player took the wrong shirt with him, which ended with me accidentally stealing said wrong shirt.'' you vaguely answer, watching him tense up. ''Now it's my turn. Why are you so specifically bothered by it being Hajimes?''

 ''I…it's-'' looking up, he met your eyes already narrowing again. You expect him to say 'It's nothing'. No, it was important to say it now, even if it was embarrassing. ''I heard people talking,...saying that he'd be better for you than me. That…that you liking him that way is just a question of time. And while I was sure that that's not true…I asked myself…am I really what Y/N wants? Are you bothered by the way we are in public? Are we couple-y enough for you? I was on my way to apologize when I saw you both coming from the roof. You seemed so happy, so excited. I started to worry…that if he was to ask you out…would you truly choose me? Do I make you look and feel as happy as you seemed to be earlier with Iwa?''

 Him not meeting your eyes bothers you. How could he understand if he's not looking? You slowly walk over, giving him time to say stop or move away from you…but he doesn't. Standing between his legs you gently cup his cheeks and make him look up into your eyes. Make him see.

''Let's start somewhere…thank you for being open and honest with me. Okay, firstly, I was on the roof with him so he could explain math to me. I didn't want to sit in a classroom and let others hear how troubled I was by what seems to be one of the easiest mathematical equations in existence. And since I was occupying his lunch break, Haji at least wanted to have some quiet for eating if he sacrifices his time like that.'' you chuckle slightly before you meet his eyes again.

''Secondly,...Issei,'' you murmur now, caressing his cheeks gently. ''why would you believe things about our relationship coming from people that don't take part in it? Hm? They don't know us. They don't get to spend nap time with us, arcade and ramen dates, or movie nights. They don't see how you treat me away from curious eyes and ears. We aren't any less of a couple just because others have a different opinion on how couples should be to the public eye.'' you say, your undertone loving and warm. ''It's not Iwaizumi who I love. I have chosen you because you are the one. I love you.'' you emphasize the words. You never imagined the moment to be like that, but it feels right to come clean with the depth of your feelings now. His cheeks heating up in between your hands is an extra treat.

''I love you when you smile all lazily at me after sleeping. I love you when your voice drips with sarcasm and mischief. I love you when we argue over who has ultimately won the worst pick-up line contest - which is me by the way.'' you grin, shushing his protest by resting your thumb on his lips. ''I love you even when we fight. When you get jealous and grumpy. I love you even though you regularly tell Taka-chan how you'd sell me to Satan for a corn chip, just to mention this stupid bird meme. I love you to bits, you sweet but silly idiot, and I'd chose you all over again if I was to wake up in another parallel universe. Because I know, that you'll always treat me right. Because I'm sure that you feel this, too.''

While you were speaking, your boyfriend's arms slowly but steadily started to move past the last bit of resistance, wrapping them loosely around you and pulling you tighter with every said word.

''I mean it when I say that I get why you felt so uneasy today. However they do it, they manage to crawl under your skin. And that's human, Issei. To be overwhelmed, anxious, or insecure. But please, don't risk us falling apart by letting it eat away on you silently.'' You whisper.

''Y/N, I'm sorry…and I promise to try and talk when I feel bothered again. And-'' A surprised squeak leaves your lips at the sudden movement of your boyfriend. ‘’I love you, too.’’ Giggling, you look up to the dark-haired blocker, who is now towering over you, caging you in his arms. ''You look so irrestistable in my clothes, you should wear them more often.'' Issei continues, the smirk on his lips finally being close to the one he usually wore, eyeing you still wearing his way to big pants and sweatshirt. Then, Mattsun finally - Finally! - leans down to kiss you thoroughly, seemingly keen on making up for the wasted time. Nibbling on your lip, tasting and teasing you, eliciting sweet little sounds that sound oh so much like heaven. He had missed this the whole day.

Deciding to give the both of you a second to breathe, he leans back enough to study your now glowing expression. You lick your lips, watching a suddenly burning interest flaring up in his eyes due to the breathlessness in your voice. ''I have a proposition, you know.'' You begin, softly tracing his features with your pointer finger, smiling innocently. ''If you don't want people to doubt our closeness in this relationship…maybe you should show them just how good you make me feel when I have you all to myself, hm?'' You murmur with a seducing tone, watching him process your words, his slightly heated gaze not leaving yours.

Him diving right back in and whispering a litany of 'I love yous' was answer enough.

Bonus:

[2dmenenthusiast]

Let’s be sad together (Peter Parker x Depressed Reader)

A/N PLEASE READ!!: heeey so before we get into this, this story is told in the first person, which I know some people don’t like but I felt it was best for this particular fic because there is some self-hate in here and I didn’t want the reader to feel targetted and make them feel like shit? I hope that made sense. keep in mind this fic deals with themes of DEPRESSION, something I myself struggle with. So if you’re not comfortable with this, please don’t read. I’ve read plenty of x depressed! reader fics, and most of what I read doesn’t do the feelings justice or it romanticises depression. It’s usually like “oh youre depressed? Well i love you and boom youre fixed!” Yeah I hate shit like that lol. But I am certainly not trying to romanticise depression or mental illness by writing this. I wanted to make a fic people like me can relate to, the thoughts and feelings, etc. It was honestly super difficult, I wrote the first draft and completely scrapped it cuz I hated it. I really tried my best here, guys, and I hope you like it. And always remember that you’re not alone and things do eventually get better. It just takes time and a little help. Once again I tried to keep the reader as nuetral as possible so everyone can read! (I fucking suck at titles btw)

Plot: Peter notices something’s been wrong with you lately, and you prepare yourself for the inevitable break-up once he confronts you about it.

Words: 2,562

Warnings: Themes of depression and anxiety, self hate, angst

Loving Peter Parker was absolutely suffocating.

Sometimes I couldn’t decide if dating him was the worst or best decision I ever made, but I knew one thing for sure. He had me wrapped around his finger, and there was no leaving him even if I tried. Not that I wanted to. Peter is… well, he’s perfect. Sure, he’s dorky and can ramble about technical stuff that I can’t even begin to understand for hours on end, but if anything, those things only added to the list of reasons why he’s perfect. Oh, and he’s Spiderman. My boyfriend is Spiderman. In other words, nights were spent worrying about whether he’d make it home safely or not, and some were spent patching him up when he came knocking on my window after a particularly bad fight. He made me happy. Happier than I had ever been probably. So… why did I still feel this way?

At first, a part of me thought that being with Peter would… fix things, I guess. That maybe if I was in a relationship, it would cause all the rushing thoughts inside my head to go away. And at first, it did help. There were more nights that I could sleep peacefully, and there wasn’t a constant feeling of anxiousness sitting in my stomach. But of course, that relief never lasted long. I knew it wouldn’t, but a part of me hoped it would.

Overthinking had always been an issue. Every situation had a “what if,” and this was no different. Thoughts of Peter leaving me began to occupy my mind almost every second of every day, and now, rather than feeling relaxed in his presence, I felt a constant feeling of anxiety. Like my heart was stuck in my throat and I couldn’t breathe, an invisible weight crushing my chest. Sometimes I’d get so overwhelmed with my feelings that I’d have to leave the room and calm myself down so that I wouldn’t cry. And other days I’d completely close myself off from everyone, laying in my bed all day and feeling so upset and worthless.

This wasn’t Peter’s fault. No, he treated me like fucking royalty. This was due to my own dumb self and my own dumb emotions and my dumb fucking ways of overthinking shit I shouldn’t even be thinking about. But it’s always been like this, and no amount of listening to sad songs and telling myself everything was going to be okay was going to change that. I wasn’t immune to feeling insecure either. Especially when Peter hung out with his other friends, but I immediately told myself not to think about that stuff. I didn’t want to be that partner that gets jealous of their partner’s friends when I’m not getting every second of their attention. No, thinking that way felt toxic, and that was the last thing I wanted to be.

But sometimes, I couldn’t help those thoughts from sinking in. There were so many people out there. So many people that were funnier and better looking than me… So why did Peter settle for me? Why would he want to date someone with so much fucking baggage? Someone who could barely get out of bed in the morning while already wishing for the day to be over? Someone who thought so fucking little of themselves as a human being? There were times where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, because those were the days I really hated myself. Sometimes I feel like he fell out of love with me a long time ago and now he won’t leave me because he feels bad, which only made me feel worse for keeping him in a relationship he probably didn’t even want to be in. 

I couldn’t say anything to Peter about this. How could I? He would just try to fix everything and I didn’t need fixing. I just wanted him there to reassure me that he loved me as much as I loved him. That he wouldn’t leave me because of how mentally fucked I was. Even if he did tell me those things, I don’t know if I’d even believe him. My mind probably wouldn’t even let me. I imagined if I did try to tell him everything I was feeling, I probably wouldn’t be able to explain it in a way that he could understand. I was just so tired. Tired of waiting for the inevitable moment when Peter would break up with me, and I’d be left with an expected broken heart. I’ve even been preparing for the day it happens so that it doesn’t kill me when it hurts, just like I do with every situation. Rather than give my hopes up and be disappointed, I just assume the worst from the get-go. 

I don’t know how it hasn’t happened yet. How he hasn’t noticed the way I just shut down when the day gets hard. How I constantly look like I’m just in my own head, either when all of us are hanging out or when it’s just me and him. I want him to know. I want to tell him all the shit that’s running through my mind, but a part of me is terrified that I’ll just scare him away. So I just pretend it’s fine. Like I’m not ready to bust and rip open at the seams.

Today was another one of those days where I just felt like locking myself in my room and never coming out. However, the usual excuse of “I just don’t feel good,” didn’t work on Peter this time. He knew that there was something wrong. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I thought I had gotten away with it at first, laying in my bed and mindlessly scrolling on my phone, not even present in my head, just kind of there. But I knew I was screwed when I heard a knock on my window and opened my curtains just to see Peter sitting on the fire escape. I didn’t say anything as I opened the window, just watching as he stumbled into my room while pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, something I often did when I felt that familiar anxiousness creeping in.

He made sure to shut the window after he was inside, and I immediately shrunk under his gaze when he turned to me, feeling too ashamed to meet his eyes.

“Hey, um…” 

He hesitated, and I watched the way he rubbed his palms against his jeans, almost as if he was feeling nervous. I could imagine how he was feeling, though. I was nervous too.

“I know this is kinda abrupt, um… but I just wanted to stop by and you know, make sure you’re feeling okay and all that. I was worried, so…”

Worried? He was worried about me? I blinked a few times, trying to rack my brain for a quick lie I could tell him, but that wasn’t what came out when I spoke.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I guess I’ve just been feeling kinda low today.”

I immediately wanted to swallow the words that left my mouth, not believing that I actually willingly let him know that I wasn’t really feeling okay.

“Oh?” He took a step forward, which immediately made me want to take a step back. “How come? Was today just not a good day?”

Peter was so unbelievably sweet and considerate, I almost wanted to cry right then and there. He always treated me so well… but he deserved someone better. Someone that wasn’t me.

“I-I guess? I don’t know, it’s just kinda hard to explain,” I muttered, reaching a hand up to rub the back of my neck that felt strangely warm.

“Do you wanna talk about it? I have plenty of time. I actually left the group to come see you, so I don’t mind listening.”

My eyes slightly widened as my gaze quickly met his, looking at him as if he was crazy. Hell, he just might’ve been if he stopped hanging out with his friends just to see me.

“You… Why would you do that?” I asked softly, my voice almost a whisper as I tried to keep it from trembling.

His brows furrowed and he tilted his head slightly, looking at me almost incredulously as he stepped closer.

“Do I need a reason? I wanted to see you.”

He said it so confidently, as if he was so positive that he rather be spending his time with me than his buddies. It kind of made me feel a bit guilty. He could be spending his time with his friends and having fun, but instead, he was here, and I was trying not to break down in front of him.

“But your friends… wouldn’t you rather hang out with them?” I asked, arms crossing over my chest as if I was protecting myself from something.

Peter just smiled. “I could chill with them any time I want. Why would I skip out on an opportunity to see my baby, hm?”

My hand quickly shot up to cover my mouth, and I could feel tears starting to push through.

“He wouldn’t say that if he knew,” I thought, and it immediately became harder to contain the tears when he closed the short distance between us and placed his hands on my shoulders, his expression clearly one of concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

I shook my head, sniffling as I reached up and wiped at my teary eyes.

“I’m fine, I just-”

You’re not. You’re really not fine, y/n. This is not fine.

My walls were quickly crumbling down as a tear slipped down my cheek, which caused more to follow, and I let out a choked sob as Peter placed a hand on the back of my head and gently pulled me into his chest, his other hand running over my back. He didn’t say anything, just let me cry to my heart’s content as I gripped onto the front of his shirt for dear life.

“I… I’m not okay, Peter. Nothing’s okay,” I mumbled into his chest, and he gently pushed me back as he carefully held my face in his hands, thumbs wiping at my tear stained cheeks.

“What’s not okay, y/n? C’mon, talk to me.”

“Everything!” I yelled, and I could tell he was surprised by my sudden outburst as I pulled myself away from his embrace.

“Everything is not okay, Peter. Fuck, I just…” I brought my arm up over my eyes as my bottom lip quivered, my eyes burning as more tears fell. “Everything’s just so hard and I’m so tired. And I’m making everything so complicated for myself, it’s not even anyone’s fault that I’m feeling like this. It’s mine.” I sniffled and wiped at my eyes again, but it did nothing to stop the endless tears that had spent too much time being held in. “A-And I don’t know what to do, Peter. I really don’t. I’m so fucking tired of hurting and I just want the thoughts and feelings to stop. Fuck sometimes I just wish I felt nothing!”

I looked up at Peter when he didn’t say anything, and found that he was just looking at me. There wasn’t any judgement or disgust in his eyes. At least, not from what I could tell. He looked… worried. Maybe even a little sad. Was he upset over what I said? Is he bummed out that he found out what I’m actually like? I let out a sigh and wiped my nose against my sleeve, suddenly finding my feet very interesting as I looked down. The silence was fucking deafening, and in that moment, I wanted to throw myself off the fire escape and into traffic below.

“How long have you felt like this?” Peter suddenly asked, his voice quiet as if he was trying to not startle me.

I hesitantly looked up at him, pulling at my sleeves again as I shrugged my shoulders.

“If you’re talking about all the depressing shit, ever since my early teens, I guess. But um… I’ve been having other thoughts recently. Ever since we got together, actually.”

I winced as soon as the words left my mouth. Would I regret this? Most definitely. Did Peter need to know? No, but he deserved to.

Peter frowned. “Really? Like… what kind of thoughts?”

I sighed and ran a hand down my face.

“Fuck, Peter, I just… You’re Peter Parker. You’re Spiderman! And I’m just-”

“Amazing, beautiful, the best partner I could ever ask for. Should I go on?” he asked with a small smirk, and I let out an amused huff as I placed a hand against his chest and lightly pushed him.

“I’m serious, Peter. I’m just… I’m fucked up, okay? Nothing about me is normal, hell the thoughts I have certainly aren’t. And I doubt you wanna be with someone who has so much shit going on with them-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Peter interrupted, waving his hands in front of my face. “Who said anything about me not wanting to be with you?”

I scoffed. “I mean, it’s a no brainer, Peter. You saw me just now. I mean, sometimes I break down over the dumbest shit-”

“It’s not dumb if it makes you upset,” he said, his tone a bit harsh.

I didn’t know how to respond to that. No one had ever really validated my feelings like that before.

“I-”

“No, y/n. Why would you think any of this would be a problem for me? I mean… No, nevermind, I understand why you would think that. You can’t help it right? But listen to me.” He placed his hands on my arms, making sure I was focusing on him. “No matter how messed up you think you are… you’ll always be my favorite person, y/n. You don’t have to hide how you feel, you don’t need to be scared. If you’re having a bad day, tell me, and we can have a bad day together. We can lay in bed all day and munch on food that will probably take years off of our life, we can do anything you want. Just tell me, okay? If something ever happened to you… shit, y/n.”

He then pulled me into a bone crushing hug, holding onto me as if I’d disappear if he let me go.

“That’s my worst nightmare. I could handle being kicked out of the avengers or any other terrible stuff. But losing you? Just thinking about it breaks my heart, baby.”

I felt the tears rising once again as I took in what he said, not used to hearing someone say these things to me. Leave it to Peter Parker to make me feel completely vulnerable and open, something I usually hated. I immediately relaxed in his embrace, letting out a soft cry as my arms wrapped around his waist and I buried my face in his neck.

“I love you, Peter,” I muttered softly, my heart skipping when I felt Peter’s lips against my temple, smiling against my skin.

“I love you too, y/n. Please don’t ever forget that.”

Maybe opening up a bit wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.

[settersloveletters]

hello hellooo!! i literally love ur blog so mf much, can i pls request some yummy angst w a fluffy ending w tsukki and kenma 🥺? where their s/o feels jealous n insecure maybe about another girl and when they bring it up they end up having a huge fight ?

— you’re great; oneshot

a/n: okay,, i only wrote tsukki’s right now and i’ll get to kenma’s soon but i really wanted to post this tonight so i hope that’s okay >_< also idk how to write angst so i’m sorry if this doesn’t pull your heartstrings ;w;

oh i also started to write in proper grammar and not all lowercase ehehe

➳ request: s/o insecure abt another girl + angst + big fight with tsukki and kenma

➳ pairing: tsukishima x f!reader

➳ genre: angst, fluffy at the end

➳ word count: 1.9k

➳ admin: kiri ♡

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

You continued to tap the top end of your pencil against your desk, leaning your head against the palm of your hand as you glared at the familiar blonde across the room. You and Tsukishima Kei had been an item for almost a year now, and you couldn’t be happier. That is, until your homeroom teacher assigned a project that required everyone to be in pairs.

“Earth to (Y/N),” Hitoka Yachi, your assignment partner and best friend, waved her hand in front of your face. “You’re gonna get wrinkles on your forehead if you keep glaring at Tsukishima-kun and Akari-san.”

“I am not glaring at them.” You scoff, leaning back against your chair and folding your arms over your chest.

“(Y/N) you shouldn’t be worried about anything,” Yachi responded, “Tsukishima-kun only has eyes for you.”

You blew your bangs out of your face in frustration as you turned towards the window. You knew that you shouldn’t be worrying over this trivial matter, but the fact that your boyfriend was spending most of his time with the most popular girl — also dubbed at the most prettiest — in your year bothered you.

“Doesn’t help that Kei’s partners with Akari-san.” You argue back. Akari Hana was the girl that every guy dreamed about. Smart, athletic, pretty. You were insecure enough. When you compare yourself to Akari you could find so many flaws in you and so many perfections in her. It didn’t help that your last boyfriend — which was back in junior high — broke up with you for a girl similar to Akari.

As the bell rang, signaling that school was over, you gathered your things into your school bag and was about to head over to Tsukki when you stopped. You watched as your boyfriend — without glancing at you — made his way out the class. Still talking to Akari. You purse your lips and gripped the strap of your bag.

It’s okay. You were fine.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

The rest of the week remained just like that. Tsukki only offering you good morning texts and a peck on the cheek when he sees you, before making his way to Akari. Again. Every time you tried to talk to, or approach Tsukki he would brush you off before he ran off to Ms. Popularity.

You told yourself that it was fine, and that they were only spending that much time together for the sake of the project. However you started to notice how much closer the two started to get. Every time you see either of them, the other is right beside them. Even as you went to the volleyball club’s practice after school, you stopped yourself from entering the gym as you saw Akari watching from the sides. You turned right around and went home. The only text you got from Tsukki was him asking where you were, to which you replied saying you weren’t feeling well.

[5:43] my little tsun-chan: hey why didn’t you come to practice today?

[5:50] you: i went home, wasn’t feeling well

[6:00] my little tsun-chan: dumbass, you gotta take better care of yourself

You tossed your phone to the side and pressed your face into your pillow. Kei you idiot.

Friday finally came around and you couldn’t be more relieved. Friday was the day you and Tsukki held your weekly movie nights. One of the days that left a special place in your heart. You smiled as you made your way to school, knowing that this was one day that Akari Hana couldn’t take Tsukki away.

“Oh sorry (Y/N),” Tsukki looked at you. You found him underneath a tree out in the school yard. You assumed that he was waiting for you, however that wasn’t the case. “Hana-san and I were gonna finish the assignment today.”

“But we always have movie nights Fridays.” You furrow your eyebrows. “We’ve never missed one unless you have a game.”

“Well yeah, but this is for school and Hana-san is busy over the weekend so we only have today to finish.” Tsukki pulled out his phone.

“Hana-san? Since when have you started calling her by her first name?”

“I forgot, but she’s the one who insisted and I didn’t really care.” Tsukki replied, not sparing you any glacé.

“You and Akari-san have gotten a lot closer huh?” You bite your lip, your throat starting to hurt.

“Well yeah, we’re partners of course.”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her too. We’ve barely talked to each other this whole week” You brought your gaze downwards, whispering the last sentence.

“(Y/N), don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Tsukki, rolled his eyes, finally looking at you.

“Is it my fault that I’m worried? Probably.” You bite your lip harder. “Akari-san’s amazing though. She’s pretty, smart, talented and athletic.”

“Yeah she’s all of those things. But you’re great too (Y/N).”

“Just great… That makes me feel better.” You laugh bitterly.

Just hearing Tsukki say stuff like it wasn’t a big deal, affected you a lot. You started to remember this exact scenario happening back in your last year of junior high. Where you confronted your current boyfriend at the time and asked him about a girl in your grade that all the guys fawned over. If you weren’t already insecure the words that he said raised the bar.

“She’s just amazing. From her face to her personality. But you’re great too (Y/N).”

But you’re great too (Y/N). But you’re great too (Y/N). But you’re great too (Y/N).

You could feel some tears welling up in your eyes as you remember that phrase, “You seem like you like Akari-san a lot.”

“What are you jealous?” He smirks.

“Do you think this is a joke?” You can see a figure out of the corner of your eye. Glancing towards the side you see Akari Hana walking out of the school doors looking around for Tsukki.

“Okay Hana-san and I need to finish our assignment. When you’ve gotten over your unnecessary jealousy, I’ll text you.” He started to walk towards Akari.

“You know what. I’m done Tsukishima.” You dig your nails into your hand. “If you think Akari is all that, you might as well go out with her.”

Tsukki turns around at your statement, “What? (Y/N) what are you even saying?” He touches your wrist.

“NO! Don’t touch me!” You yell, shrinking away from his touch. “Just go to Akari. I’m done Tsukishima.”

You turn away and run off to your house.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

You spend your weekend locked up in your room, eating ice cream and chips while reading sad fanfiction to soothe your aching heart. Tsukki tried calling you after you ran home, and even sent multiple texts. But you just brushed it off, putting your phone on do not disturb as to not disrupt your reading.

When Sunday came around, your heart hurt just more than it had been. It was your one year anniversary with Tsukki. Or it would’ve been. You covered yourself with your blankets as you hugged your stuffed animal. You gave up reading on fanfics and decided to just lay there, staring off into space. You enjoyed the quietness.

“(Y/N)-CHAN!” Your bedroom door was slammed open, surprising you from the sudden loud noise. You looked up to see Yachi standing in the doorway. “I’m here to take you out because you’ve been stuck inside all weekend.”

“Yachi please no,” You groan, pulling the covers over your head. “Just let me wither away in my sadness.”

“Nope it’s almost 6 and you’ve spend the entire day inside, now get up and get in the shower.” Yachi replied, grabbing the covers off of you.

Groaning once again, you begrudgingly made your way to your bathroom knowing that you couldn’t argue your way out of this. Stepping back into your room, wrapped in your towels you see Yachi sitting on your bed, texting away on her phone.

“Who’re you texting?”

“Huh? Oh, just Hinata-kun don’t worry.” Yachi says, placing her phone down on your bed. “You’re wearing that by the way.”

She points to a yellow sundress covered in a floral pattern laid out on your bed. Letting out a sigh, you grab the dress and head back into your bathroom to change. After fixing yourself up, You and Yachi head downstairs. Reaching the final step you hear a knock at your door which leaves you confused. Looking back at Yachi, she shrugs her shoulders at you.

Opening the door, you come face-to-face with the person you’d least expect to show up. “What’re you doing here.”

At your door stands Tsukki, in a pair of khaki coloured pants and a navy blue polo shirt. He was holding a bouquet of flowers as he darted his eyes everywhere, except your own eyes.

“I–uh,” Tsukki, sighed and finally looked at you. “(Y/N), please let me explain everything.”

“I’m supposed to be going out with Yachi right now.” You cross your arms over your chest.

“Actually (Y/N), Hinata-kun texted me and needs my help with Kageyama-kun.” Yachi speaks up, “I gotta go but I’ll talk to you later!”

The blonde girl heads out the door before you could say anything and you’re left alone with Tsukki. The two of you fall into uncomfortable silence, something that hasn’t happened between you in awhile.

“(Y/N)–“ Tsukki starts to say, but you cut him off before anything.

“As much as I don’t wanna talk to you, I’ll give you 10 minutes.”

“I need 30 minutes.”

Your mouth gapes open, “30 minutes, Tsukishima–“

“Please, (Y/N).” He pleaded.

“Fine.”

After a long walk in silence, the sun had started to set that an orange hue was left in the sky. Tsukishima led you to a small park away from the houses and roads. From a distance you could see small little lights littering the ground. As you got closer, you realized that the little lights littering the ground were candles. Candles that led to a small gazebo where a table setting was set up in the middle.

“Tsukishima what is this?” You asked as he pulled out your chair for you to sit.

“This is what me and Han- Akari-san had been planning.” Tsukki reveals.

“Akari-chan?”

“All that time her and I have been spending, she’s been helping me plan this for our one year.”

Your eyes widen at his confession. You suddenly feel stupid for thinking the things you thought. You felt stupid for thinking that Tsukishima would ever be like your ex-boyfriend. You just felt stupid.

“I–“ You don’t even know what to say.

“No don’t you dare apologize. I’m the one who’s sorry for just edging you on like that. I just made things worse.” Tsukki took your hands in his. “I have no idea how to express how I’m feeling without being sarcastic. And I hurt you. But I swear to you (Y/N), I love you and I will always love you.”

You could feel the tears coming up in your eyes, but you feel Tsukki’s calloused fingers wipe them away. “I’m sorry for acting so jealous and insecure. And for jumping to conclusions.”

Tsukki shakes his head. “Let’s just put this behind us.” He leans in and places a kiss on your forehead showing his affection.

Your relationship stood strong ever since.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[Behind the Scenes]

(Y/N): wait a minute did yachi have a hand in this too? Is that why she came to my house and got me to get ready?

Tsukki: maybe

(Y/N): wait is that hinata and yachi… and akari-san in those bushes??

three heads pop up before the three run off

[kickingstonesandbones]

ADA: Songs the BSD characters remind me of (even though no one asked)

I’ve recently watched all 3 seasons of the Anime, the movie and the OVA and have started reading the Manga from the beginning. Right now I am only at chapter 40 because I started reading like 2 days ago, so idk stuff that would happen after the Anime storyline (if it goes that much further than season 3 ending, I wouldn’t know). I based this off on either specific lyrics that made me think it would fit the character or a certain vibe I was getting from a character. For some characters it was easier, for some not so much lol It is why some characters have multiple songs that make me think of them while others only have one (if they even do have one, that is – but the ADA does, except for Katai). So please do not rip into me because you think a song might not fit them as well as I do, because I just have not gotten to the latest chapter of the Manga yet, so there are some characters I do not know that well yet but I wanted to do this for fun. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this list~ Also, feel free to add to my list if you have songs that I haven’t mentioned but think would fit the characters, if you want to~

My taste in music is also pretty broad and not limited to certain languages or genres (though I do have my preferences), so I will provide translations of the lyrics in different languages from English. The German ones (like Kontra K, Elif, etc.) were translated by myself (on the spot), for other languages like Romanian or Korean, etc. I had to look up translations on the internet.

Disclaimer: For the songs for Dazai, one might want to consider a TW, for one of his songs has extremely open-no-room-for-speculation suicidal lyrics. If this affects you, please skip that one, I will put that song last on his list.

And, well, because this is 12 pages long in the document, I will be making a cut here…

.

𝔸𝔻𝔸 𝕚𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝

💙 Wölfe (Wolves) by Kontra K 💙

It’s about so much more than just strength, it’s about solidarity and virtue / It runs so much deeper than your wounds could ever get / We’re walking through the fire together until the day we die […] /

And we are so infinitely far away from being perfect / But what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger / And hope dies last / It dies last /

A lot of the members have been through quite some shit, but they hold it together all the time and always pull through and manage to keep moving forward sooo (some random arsehole I talked to spoilered me about Yosano and Mori  -_-)

💙 Born For This by The Score 💙

A force that they can’t stop / They just don’t get it, I think they forget / I’m not done until I’m on top / I know I was born for this / I know I was born for this […] /

We are the warriors, who learned to love the pain / We come from different places but have the same name / ‘Cause we were born for this / We are the broken ones, who chose to spark a flame / Watch as our fire rages, our hearts are never tame /

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ℕ𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

I can’t believe / That when I breathe / That there’s something good inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me / So close to me / That memory / Of that one good thing inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me /

If I went out the back door, nobody would stop me / But, where would I go? / ‘Cause I ain’t never had a real home / So, what do I know? / So, I could keep runnin’, hide until they find me / But, what would that do? /

That he really hates himself that much and how insecure he is in his right to be alive not just simply because he is a living being really hurts to see.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

Don’t know how to face it / Let’s go back to basics / Yes, say what you mean, do what you say, but man I hate this / I just don’t know what I’m chasing, don’t know what I’m chasing / Yes, somebody told me / Life is something you don’t wanna play with / But I just keep on playing like life is just a playground […] / I look at myself and I ask what the goal is / Yeah, tell me what your goal is / I’m just so lost in emotions, I don’t even notice / I just slip into a place and I don’t think straight / Devil in my ear tryna tell me everything’s great / And in a year realize I’m in the same place / Running in the same race, same pace […] /

Get that sickness out my mouth / I feel like my train is derailing / I can feel it / Yo these words are only words until they actions / Words until they actions, strive on empty satisfactions / Yeah, the fact is I don’t know, fact is I don’t know /

💙 월식  (My Tragedy) by Taeyeon 💙

At the end of an empty day / Everyone busily returns from somewhere / In the red night sky / I disappear into the darkness little by litte / These many sparkling lights / There isn’t a single light that’s mine / Under the cold shade by myself / Like it wasn’t there from the start /

💙 Oceans by Jacob Lee 💙

I learnt to let go when I was younger / Scared of growing old / I would swim far into the ocean / And try to stay afloat / Until my lungs would cough up water […] /

I don't want love no more / Though it's the one thing I've been searching for / Though it's the one thing that I miss the most / Now I'm afraid to be alone / I learnt to grow old when I was younger / Scared of staying young / Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured / That sat atop my tongue / Knowing I'd change the worlds opinion / If they would just, listen up / But they won't, now /

I feel worthless / Maybe I should open the drawer / Burn the pages / Write poems with the ash on the floor / Pour the ink, into the sink / And watch it drain from the shore /

.

𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 𝕆𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕦

I know Dazai has a looooot of songs, but tbh I could’ve added at least another 15 because. There. Were. Just.  S O .  M A N Y .  T H A T  F I T  H I M  S O  W E L L ‼‼ (Well, at least the ones I could think of off of the top of my head right away.)

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

Don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man / Little do they know, every song is a lifespan / Yeah, they’ve taken one, but I’m takin’ my last chance / To hold all we know and let go with both hands / Though, don’t you know that plots are made from concrete / Right through the stone, can you hear my heart beat? / Beats through my bone, like no memory left me / Not for a second or a minute when I dream […] / My heart beats heavy in an open chest / And, I wanna say goodbye, but there’s nobody left /

I broke it all, and I put to the test / Put your hands in mine, and feel this emptiness / There’s no beat in my chest / ‘Cause there’s nothin’ left / No, it ain’t goodbye, its a last caress  / What’s another dream? / You could hardly sleep /

Makes me think of Oda aka the bond they had aka the admiration Dazai had for him.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

I ain’t sleeping lately / I ain’t sleeping lately / Yes, I know that I’m the only person that can change me / Maybe, that’s why I ain’t changing / That’s why I ain’t changing / I got too much on my mind, I guess I don’t know how to face it /

He obviously has a lot of issues, and I bet he still doesn’t think of himself as a good person. It strikes me as if he’s thinking that Agency Dazai is not much different from Mafia Dazai. “Your hands are black. Mafia black,” as Higuchi said. I think he did not deny it when she said that, so he doesn’t disagree with her.

💙 Rain by Hollywood Undead 💙

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain / Simple things and subtleties, they always stay the same / I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain / Like a widow’s heart, we fall apart, but never fade away (fade away) /

Run like a child, do you know where I came from? / No, I don’t, but I’m singing all the same songs / I’m alone, and you’re looking for your anyone / Does it hurt just to know that it’s all gone? / I can feel the pain in the words that you say / Hidden in the letters that were written to no name […] / Buried in red, white, and a side of some blue / Some will die too late, and somebody too soon / If he could come back, we’ll see what it cost him / We had to lose it all, just to know that we lost one /

💙 Lass mich lieber allein (better just leave me alone) by Kontra K 💙

Man, don’t explain the world to me, it isn’t perfect / And just as imperfect are also you, her and me / All of that isn’t a problem to me / But tell me, since when does hatred laugh so audaciously into my face? / But it’s somehow alright for me […] / Man, I wish for a minuscule part of naivety back / But it seems it’s somehow too late for me / Somehow already too late for me […] /

Already been wandering for so long, you forget / Who is worthy of sacrificing yourself for and for whom you better not do it / You run along the street of success without any luck (on your side) / But she walks out of hell into heaven only once and then right back / If you end up where you started then where is the meaning? /

Because I also have my baggage to carry all on my own / Just like all of the fuckers that think I’m living in heaven all by myself / But the fire and the flames in which I’ve been standing in for so long already / Man, they refuse to see them / But it’s somehow alright for me /

You better just leave me alone / Because when they carry you on their hands, they will (eventually) let you drop / I’d rather fall alone/by myself / Rather alone/by myself /

💙 Lies by Will Jay 💙

I'd rather tell myself if I ignore / These thoughts they'll go away / And my toxic friends have changed / Truth is I hate confrontation / Deal with it tomorrow / 'Cause there's nothing I can do / That's my favourite excuse / Feeding my procrastination […] /

And I think I just realised I would do anything / To keep hiding the pain I've been burying / That's why I tell / Lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lies /

💙 Du willst es (You want it) by Kontra K 💙

Only the good ones die young, and not long after the best ones follow / No idea, ask death why he thinks that I am so damn bad / Still here, we’re almost not worthy of heaven / Working day for day, only the hatred kills the pain / Life will shoot you in the chest but only ever hit your heart / Thank God that place in my chest has been emptied a long time ago […] /

We asked God, “why” / But the devil said, “doesn’t matter” / We’re swimming in a pool full of misery / But bring us another glass of it /

💙 Wie gemacht dafür (like we were made for it) by Kontra K 💙

Pretty normal, normal / Because you can’t get me, get me further down (the hole/ditch) / Than I’ve already been, you get it? […] / I’m going one-on-one with my inner demons, and I’ve been doing that for the past 13 years / I’ve been there, no matter what happened / Ask your gangsters, they know my voice / Have respect, respect for the realness / But fucking piss me off, and I’ll be sending you to heaven […] /

What pressure are you talking about, I inhale this city deep into my lungs / Put it on the beat and I’ll be giving you a new reason for your hatred /

Like we were made for it, we’re running through hell barefooted / We’re living rent-free in their heads, with the real ones, with the real ones / Like we were made for it, always loyal to my people / Swapping none of my friends for money, for the real ones, for the real ones […] /

If you’re my enemy, I’ll give you lead (bullets) / If you’re my friend, I’ll give you love / Because a wolf stays fucking loyal only to his family /

💙 Lonely by Nathan Wagner 💙

Is everybody lonely? / Is everybody scared? / Is everybody worried / That no one really cares? / See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone / Still I wonder why my heart is always broke / What a way to live, let the fear take all control / Oh, this ain't life, no / I'm not alive […] /

'Cause I'm afraid to show the people who I am / I'm not special, I'm just a simple broken man / So I will hide my face with my picture perfect mask / Oh, this ain't life, no / It's just a lie […] /

If I looked you in the eye / And showed the broken things inside / Would you run away? / Would you run away? / If you saw my darkest parts / The wicked things inside my heart / Would you run away? / Or are you the same? /

The following one makes me think of Mafia Dazai

💙 Body Count by Grey ft. Thutmose 💙

I got a hunger, I got a fever / And it just won't quit / I got a temper, I got a bullet / With your name on it / Everybody wonders what it's like on top / I don't gotta wonder 'cause I call the shots […] /

My blood runs cold and my feet run faster / I still got heart, I hear a heart don't matter / Say what you want and it'll be your last words / It ain't a secret, I got a hit list / And baby, you're up next /

Stack 'em up, stack 'em up / Teach 'em not to fuck with me / Bag 'em up, bag 'em up / Let 'em know who runs these streets / Take 'em down, take 'em down / Count 'em out like one, two, three / Add a-na-na-na-na-na-na-nother one  / To the body count /

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T r i g g e r   W a r n i n g  !

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💙 Bullet by Hollywood Undead 💙

Gone too far and yeah I'm gone again / It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends / I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends / One’s a bottle of pills, one’s a bottle of Gin / I'm twenty stories up, yeah I'm up at the top / I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off / Asphalt to me has never looked so soft / I bet my momma found my letter, now she’s calling the cops / I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it / 'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance / Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent / 'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is / I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife / But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice / I never bought a suit before in my life / But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice /

We hit the sky, there goes the light / No more sun, why's it always night / When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream / When you can't dream, well, what’s life mean? / We feel a little pity, but don't empathize / The old are getting older, watch a young man die […] /

When you were young, you never thought you'd die / Found that you could but too scared to try / You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye / Climb to the roof to see if you could fly /

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow / Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow

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𝕐𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕠 𝔸𝕜𝕚𝕜𝕠

💙 Brunette Ambition by Qveen Herby 💙

'Cause it's been three weeks and four days / No days off, just runways / I’m fucked up, I'll throw shade / Outwork you on a bad day […] /

On a mission, got no competition / It's hard to sleep with brunette ambition / Revenge is sweet, pussy: my religion / They say slow down, but I never listen /

Old me forsaken, these rules are for breaking / I get lonely with no new friends / Associate, but they can't relate / When you want the world, they’re uncomfortable /

This one is 50% lyrics, 50% overall energy of the song. Yosano is a bad bitch, and I love her.

💙 STFD by TeZATalks 💙    [Flash Warning for epilepsy]

I'm not here to take no names or reservations / I'm the devil telling Satan I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down / Imma kill it let me live just how I'm livin' / Ghetto heart with good intentions / I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down /

I'm chasing freedom for the fearless / I gotta do it 'cause I can't chase fear myself / I'm 'bout as broken as I confess / But better than most that lay cower / Proud of who they crowd / You don't know me / Coming to take your crown / Bow down / You know that I can do better, better / I don't need you to come in and show me how / Settle down / Cause you know that I can do better, better /

This song is mostly just the vibe for me. Quite…. unapologetic. Like the badass bitch vibe Yosano gives off, despite (or probably especially because of) her past.

💙 Nur mir (only to myself) by Elif 💙

Can’t believe what’s happening to me / Your words have manipulated me / I shouldn’t lose the connection to myself / Because otherwise your words will always stay with me / At first, you were there for me / But then you wanted me as your property […] / This city is big enough for the two of us / I have to share it with 4 million others anyway / I get onto the same train, stand on the same platform / Oh, everything’s profit (to you), everything’s yours /

But I only belong to myself, only to myself / Belong to myself, only to myself / Not to her, not to him, not to you /

💙 Disease by Hollywood Undead 💙

Our words are broken but they’re spoken aloud / So come together, come together again / The time is now, let Armageddon begin / They say beginnings always start with the ends / I say forever and forever, Amen /

Forget what you are / Forget what you feel / We stand apart but fall together / Nothing ever lasts forever /

We’re born to live, we’re born to die / We’re forced to swallow these pills and to never ask why / What I’ve become, why can’t you see / That everybody, everybody, everybody’s got this disease? /

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𝔼𝕕𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕡𝕠

💙 The Wolf by SIAMÉS 💙

Each and every day / Hiding from the sunshine / Wandering in the shade / Not too old, not too young / Every night again / Dancing with the moonlight / Somewhere far away / I can hear your call […] / Ain’t no fairytale / What I see in your eyes / Awaiting your mistake / Not too close, not too far /

Honestly, finding a song for Ranpo somehow was harder than it should’ve been lmao Originally, this song is about addiction, but if you read them in the sense of it being about a criminal, whom Ranpo is about to catch, it makes more sense. I am sorry I can’t provide a better song for him right now djhfksjlhdfujhhgkfc

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𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕒 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕠

💙 Fuck You by Silent Child 💙

Am I wasting my breath on you / Feels like my words are never getting through, yeah / I never said I hate you to someone so much before / I'm light headed when we talk and then you shut the door, god damn / Like what are we still talking for, yeah /

I really hope you don’t see tomorrow  / I tried to play nice with you / 'Cause all you ever do is try to fuck up my day / And you were successful / (But I know the truth) / No you don't have anything better to do / Everything you ever loved has tried to escape you / So why would I want anything to do with you /

Fuck you /

Don’t lie, he would blast this at full volume when Dazai fucks up his schedule again HAHAHA (I love their dynamic)

💙 Waiting by Zhavia Ward 💙

The truth is you don't even / Know what the hell you believe / But you should believe / Lions don't lose sleep / Over the opinions of sheep /

So if you're waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' /

Empire State kinda view / And I'm up here with the crew / I got the feelin' that you wishin' / You could be up here too / Maybe I should feel bad for you / Be a little sentimental / But I don't, no I won't / Make excuses for you to hide behind /

This one makes me think of the time Fyodor tried to break him mentally by making that little girl sacrifice herself (Season 3), but he got back up pretty quickly again after having his ideals get shaken like that.

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𝔽𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕐𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚

💙 S.C.A.V.A. by Hollywood Undead 💙

Here's the massacre, a mausoleum fit for me / Lived a hundred years, a hundred years I didn't see / Gave all my hope away, isn't any left for me? / Bombs are splitting atoms, what can the future bring? / We can fill a million choirs and wait till children sing / We can walk a million miles and end up in the sea / And our lungs just keep filling and lying when we breathe / The world's filled with liars, liars like me / And I look at my child, it's finite, this feeling / Eyes blue like the sky, I see all of this meaning / I reach up to God and I ask if I'm dreaming […] /

Everybody says greetings and goodbyes / Everybody pays, no one knows the price / We know the price of sin, the sin of sacrifice / I know I'll sin again, but who can save me twice? / How much can we ask? You'll get the answer first / How much can we kneel with the air that chills the earth? / The air keeps getting colder, my knees keep hitting dirt / The innocent can cry without the guilty getting hurt / You ask who you love and you don't know, no, do you? / The spirit of God just passes right through you / You gave away heaven, handed right to you / And I can see it all, tell me, is it true? /

Fukuzawa is that anime character that’s visibly been through a lot of shit (and has done a lot of shit as well, even morally grey or black), which could be why he’s so stern and not a man of many words. Marked by life, if you will. He also gives off a very “wise man” kinda vibe right from the beginning, so I think that this song somewhat fits him because it is wondering about the state of the world and human nature.

💙 Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch 💙

This is your last warning / A courtesy call / I am not afraid / Of the storm that comes my way / When it hits it shakes me to the core / And makes me stronger than before / It’s not a question about trust / But will you stand with us? […] /

There’s a rumble in the floor / So get prepared for war / When it hits it’ll knock you to the ground / When it shakes up everything around / But survivial is a must / So will you stand with us? /  

This song just has that badass vibe. And no one can deny that Fukuzawa has a badass and intimidating vibe as well as he seems so stern and stoic most of the time.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠𝕦

💙 Nesimtit by Mark Stam 💙

I don't have lots of cash / But enough for me to buy you an ice cream / For us to go on a walk / And for you to whisper to me in the waves of the ocean / I've taken some days from the border / And I put some behind the door, on ice / For cloudy weather / So that we can have them when the movie of life passes […] /

Let me be your lifeline / When your world is in the process of demolition / Let your dreams fly / I promise, we'll catch them somewhere around the sun /

Oddly enough, the Tanizaki siblings were just as hard for me as Ranpo… There aren’t really that many songs that would make me think of them. But this Romanian one made me (partly) think of him, I also think it’s cute and would probably fit him lol Especially the last four lines make me think of him and Naomi. After all, he’d even burn down the whole world if it was for her sake. All in all, this just sounds like him in the sense of a really supporting person/friend/brother.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 ℕ𝕒𝕠𝕞𝕚

💙 You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 💙

You say, "Come over, baby / I think you're pretty" / I'm okay, I'm not your baby / If you think I'm pretty /

You should see me in a crown / I'm gonna run this nothing town / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by / You should see me in a crown / Your silence is my favorite sound / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by one /

Naomi isn’t giving me the same “badass bitch” vibe as Yosano does, but she does have that “badass princess” vibe. Is that making any kind of sense? Like, she does not have an ability, but she is neither dumb nor completely helpless in all situations. So, there is a slight badass vibe, but not the “I can and I. W i l l . Kick your stupid. Bitch. Ass.” – so a…. “badass princess”? Because she also has that elegant aura about her. I hope I am making sense…?

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ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕜𝕠

💙 2! 3! by BTS 💙

We know that you are happy right now / That you're slaying right now / You have all what you deserve / And we are so damn proud / But you're people, like us / You have spars, you get hurt / You get tired of the pressure / You get tired of the rush / God, thank you so much! / For giving us the chance / To tell you that we're here for you / And this will never change /

Lay on us / When dark times come and surround you / Our light will help you to get through / Our love is gonna heal you / Lay on us / The ones who would go to space to / Steal some stars just to give you 'cause it would make you feel good / We're gonna stay with you forever, until the end / We swear that we're not going anywhere / Yeah we're not going anywhere / We know the road can be so tough / But with holding hands / Together we take a nice deep breath /

Haruno strikes me as the kind of person, who’d be a really supportive friend, so I thought this might fit her. I have not seen much of her and her character neither in the anime nor in the manga yet, so I don’t really know whether this is any good or if it does her any justice.

On the other hand, I feel this song would also fit the Tanizaki siblings well.

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𝕄𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕂𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕚

💙 Puste sie weg (blow them away) by Kontra K 💙

Love in the air – blow it away / 9mm on the chest – then blow it away / 3g on the mirror – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest / Hate in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest […] /

Because everyone’s talking, talking, talking too much / But unfortunately never do it, do it, do it / And I don’t hate, hate, hate the player / But I’d rather kill a whole team by myself /

I’d rather have three, four warriors than one thousand “brothers” / I’d rather pick up cents from the ground than break bread with liars / I’d rather be broke like I used to be than be a part time dealer / I’d rather have a heart of gold than sharing with no one at all (no one) /

Hatred in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest /

Take the lyrics quite literally, “blow them away”. The feeling of this song fits him, I think, because of his sheer strength. He just blows away hatred, malice, etc. and is unaffected by any of it as his heart and his head stay innocent and pure, even if naive.

I have to say though, it can be a pun, especially the part of “9mm (gun) on the chest” would be most obvious for it (especially considering that the “on the chest” part does not specify in German whether it’s your own chest or you are holding a gun to someone’s else’s chest lol). In general “puste xy weg” means to blow it away with the air out of your mouth, but colloquially it can also mean gunning down something or someone. And if you apply that meaning to every single line with “blow it away”, the meaning turns around from not letting it bother you to killing it, which I find interesting with this character. (Because he definitely has great potential to actually kill someone with his ability alone.) Though what I thought when I heard this song was that it might fit him with the meaning of him letting nothing bother him.

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𝕀𝕫𝕦𝕞𝕚 𝕂𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕜𝕒

💙 Alaska by Elif 💙

Sometimes I’m thinking, I’m going insane like everyone else / They said I’d be going nuts and yeah, I’m starting to believe them / -7°C, I’m walking through the city park by myself / The down jacket is keeping me warm, but in my heart, there’s Alaska /

I don’t know what love is / No matter how much of it I get, I need more of it / It’s tearing me apart on the inside / When I, once again, don’t know where I’ll be getting it from / Even my therapist says, he doesn’t know any further / My dark side, it’s stronger than the good one / My youth was poisened, the future is uncertain / It is how it is yeah, it is how it is /

💙 Godsent by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I used to share, I used to care / The good in me is gone I'm bad / I used to give, I used to feel / The things you did will never heal / Take a look at me now / See what I've become / I will no longer feed the machine / Can't control the monster in me, no / The way that I feel / Makes it harder to breathe / When I'm thinking about you / The monster is real /

This makes me think of her in the Port Mafia.

💙 Boomerang by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I've been gone for a while now / But only to gain my power / I've been fighting my demons / And I'm back up on my feet (and now) / The harder you fall down / The stronger you come back later / Now I feel like an army / And I've only just begun /

This one in turn makes me think of her in the Agency.

💙 Circles (제자리) by G.Soul 💙

Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again / Always come back to me / Back again / Eventually / Here again / Why is it so hard to leave? / Here again / We always stay here […] / Answer me, I don’t know, no / Just don’t know / You’re getting stuck / Forever / Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again /

This makes me think of what Kouyou (I hope I am remembering her name correctly) was saying about her as a flower of darkness, as she was kind of turning in circles (no pun intended)–between wanting to be in the light and “accepting” that she only belongs into the darkness–at the beginning before she finally joined the Agency.

💙 Excuses (변명) by G.Soul 💙

I told you not to be too good to me / That it would make it too hard on you / No matter what you say now / I don’t hear a word of it […] / Even though I may be making a mistake / Even though I may regret this as time goes on / Baby, I think that we should just end it here now /

Even though the song in total has a different vibe (and story lmao), these parts of the lyrics makes me think of Kyouka telling Atsushi that there is no saving her, and that the light is no place for her (directly after saving her from the Port Mafia). It kinda makes me think of the part, specifically, where Atsushi suggests going on a “date” and at the end of it, Kyouka wants the last place they go to to be the police station.

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 & 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Sing To Me by Missio 💙

Somehow I got nominated as a king of sadness / Got so much I know that I could even feed the birds / And that's why / I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail / It's like, all day my vanity is for sale / Take it away, my head is in my own hell /

Sing to me, I am not doing well / Getting tired of my own words / Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself / Through the loudness of my own hurts / Call me selfish when I say this, say this / I'm kinda helpless, and I need you / Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well /

Somebody told me that there's two sides to this life / I think I might've chosen darkness over light /

These two are two sides of the same coin, but no side is brighter than the other. I feel like they are kind of mirroring each other in the way they feel about themselves, which is why these lyrics mirror both of them towards each other as both are in need of salvation as they’re drowning in their own minds. Dazai is just better at hiding it from Atsushi.

💙 Namae wo yobu yo (Call A Name) by Luck Life (Season 1 Ending) 💙

I was searching / For the reason I’m able to remain as myself / If there’s a version of me / That exists within your heart / That even amid the darkness on this long, hilly road / I feel I can become a new me / Able to make my way through / So that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling / So that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together / I’ll call out a name / Your name / So that you can remain who you are /

Technically, lyrically it’s the entirety of the song, but I will not write down all of it lmao And it’s the Atsushi and Dazai parallels here again. It’s not just the ending with the animation that shows it for me, but the lyrics reflect both of them in them as well. I absolutely loved this ending. I never ship characters as I do not care about that, but I really love these two (separately)~ (What they mean for each other aka what they might mean for each other in the future [peace of mind/finding worth for Atsushi, and a reason to live for Dazai, etc.], how they’re already helping each other [Dazai helping Atsushi with feeling worthless, and Dazai finding a bit of piece of mind], etc. etc. etc.) I haven’t loved 2 characters in an anime as much as this in quite a long time (The last time was Kougami and Akane in Psycho Pass) as I find making up characters as complex as them and make them fit together as well as them/make them complement each other/balance each other out is actually pretty hard to do really well.

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Making up this list took waaaaay longer than it should’ve. (I did not include Katai because I couldn’t think of a single song for him, sorry.)

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

In that case... You decide to ask the PCs out after they've been humiliated by any of the ROs?

(A/N): Aaaaah, first time writing for the playable characters, but I think I did an okay job. Thank you for requesting, I hope you’ll like it!

+ The art isn’t mine. It’s from aripng on Deviantart! Go check their stuff out!

Amira Rashid:

Amira was known to be a bold, charming and fun person, and you’ve always loved to hang out with her at all times. Her competitiveness would often bring out a side of you you never thought you ever had: with her, you feel like you can achieve anything you set your mind too… and you also feel like you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

It didn’t take long for you to fall for her, that’s for sure. She’s just so confident in everything she does, it’s one of the many things you admire about her. And right now, as you’re about to ask her to go to prom with you, you wish you had has much strength and courage as she usually has.

The fact that she looked like all life has been drained from her eyes when you finally found her that day made you rethink even asking her if she was going to the prom at all. She didn’t seem sad, but rather embarrassed, you know that by how her fire hair is sulking along with her shoulders. This happens every time she’s about to win a game against someone and then immensely loses, though half of the time she manages to give out a genuine smile a few minutes later.

“Amira?” Your voice manages to bring her attention to you, though you can feel the anxiety rising inside your chest when she sets her eyes on your form. “Are you… okay?”

“Meh, just got rejected by Damien, no big deal.” While she seems to straighten her back and give out a genuine smile after those words; you, on the other hand, feel like sulking on the floor. “What about you?”

“O-oh, well, I wanted to ask you something, but…” You rapidly shake your head and turn around, your feet dragging you elsewhere. “Nevermind.”

“Hey, wait a second there, sweet cheeks.” You feel the heat creep up on your cheeks at the nickname, shy eyes looking back at a worried frown settled on her face. “You know you can ask me anything. Come on, do tell.”

You shyly play with your hands, not noticing her lips stretching out into a smile. 

“I’m not gonna let you leave before you do, you know?”

“W-well…” You take in a large breath, trying to find that courage she brought out of you so many times before. “I was wondering… if you would like to go to the prom with me?”

Her expression quickly changing to a shock one is enough to make your heart skip a bit in a panic. 

“If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine! I just really like to hang out with you and thought it would be fun to spend that night together, but… but like I said, I’m fine if you don’t want to-”

“Aye, shut up for a minute so I can talk, alright?” 

The heat rises on your face and you hide it with your hands in embarrassment, believing that you’ve ruined all of your chances now; maybe even your friendship. Though your eyes rapidly flutter in surprise when you feel her pat your head.

“That was adorable, (Y/N).” You give her a confused look, not sure how to interpret the smile on her lips. “Sure, I’ll go with you. I thought I’d have to spend that night alone, but having fun with you sounds like a great plan.”

A huge smile breaks out of your lips. “Really?”

She gives out a chuckle. “Yeah, of course.” She gives you a wave just as she walks away. “I’ll pick you up at six, alright?”

As usual, Amira makes you feel like you could take over the world.

Brian Yu:

People you meet at your school either scare the crap out of you or makes you incredibly nervous all the time, mostly because they’re either very threatening or always do dumb shit that almost kills you just because they can. Needless to say, your everyday life is very stressful, and Brian is the only one who manages to bring you some sanity when everything feels like falling apart.

He probably hasn’t noticed; the guy’s almost always sleeping or zooming off when you’re hanging out, but he’s just so chill and so calm, the whole atmosphere around him always makes you feel safe. You could stand under a tree and stares at clouds with him for hours, with no need to talk about anything at all. 

He’s just perfect like that, and you often wonder if he ever sees you the same as you see him.

Until one day, he proves to you that he has, in fact, never seen you that way, and thus by simply asking out Miranda for prom out of nowhere and in front of everyone. Needless to say, she did not replicate his feelings, nor did she reject him in a nice way, and so now you’re forced to pat his back with your own broken heart while he silently engulfs food for his own comfort.

“I’m sorry to ask you this, but…” His black eyes turn to you when you speak up, his mouth full of his favorite food. “Why did you ask Miranda out? You barely talked to her since I’ve known you…”

“Ah…” He blinks a few times while he gulps in the rest of his food, trying to find the right words to answer you. “I don’t know… she’s been talking about finding her prince, I thought I could be hers for one night.”

You stay awfully silent after that revelation, your heart aching while your mind race with things that could maybe cheer the one person making you happy in this world. You give out a small smile a few moments later, deciding to go all in.

“Well… how about you be mine instead?”

You can feel the heat spreading on your neck when he turns a surprised expression towards you. “Huh?”

“I-I mean… if you really wanna be someone’s prince for one night, you could have just asked me.” You look down at your lap in embarrassment, not being able to stop the next set of words from coming out of your mouth. “Because… I kinda already see you as one since you basically save me every day…”

Your breath gets cut in your throat when his fingers brush a strand of hair out of your face, your (e/c) eyes looking up to see him with a contented smile on his lips.

“If the prettiest princess is asking, then who am I to say no?”

You both love and hate how calmly he can say those kinds of things.

Oz:

Oz has always been the shy and mysterious person around, but after spending so much time with them thanks to your group of friends, you’ve managed to discover that they’re an absolute and adorable geek. You love how passionate they are with their hobbies whenever they manage to step out of the insecurity net they’re often trapped into, but you also just love spending time with them whenever you can. They’re very sweet and you just wanna do your best to make them happy, especially since they’re often anxious or depressed. 

You know how horrible it is to feel those things, and so you always know to just be there for them and to remind them that you’re there for them. You’re always gonna be there for them, even if they break your heart in the process.

You always knew they had a crush on none other than Scott, they’ve told you once in a whisper at a night out with everyone. It hurt to know, it still does, but all you want is for them to be happy. 

Today, they were supposed to ask out Scott for the prom and they were nervous about it. You understood why: you’ve tried to tell them about your feelings for a while but always bailed out because of your own anxiety. But for Oz case, they were only two possible outcomes: either Scott accepts to go to prom with them, or he rejects them in a nice way.

Turns out he rejected them in a nice way, and now Oz’s shadows seem to be sulking even more than usual as they stare at empty spaces.

“I’ll never find love.” The words rip your heart’s tissue apart, your fingers slightly crisping the back of their shirt. “I’m just good at being alone.”

“Don’t you dare say that. Don’t even think about it.” You grab their shoulders and make them look at you, your eyes looking for any kind of light in their black orbs. “You will find love, okay? And you’re not alone, I’m right here. I’ll always be here. Even if I die, I’ll come back as a ghost and haunt you.”

They manage to let out a small chuckle, but it sounds hollow and you can see the tears sprinkling in their eyes. “It’s kind of you to say those things… but we both know that no one will ever love me-”

“Someone already does!”Their eyes go wide in shock just as your fingers tighten their grip on their shoulders. “It’s me, I love you. I-I’ve loved you for months and I will always love you. And I don’t care if you don’t love me back, because I want you to be in my life… even if it’s just as friends.”

“You…” Their words barely manage to come out of their lips. “You love me?”

You free their shoulders, the heat creeping up on your cheeks another proof of the embarrassment you’re suddenly feeling after blurting your feelings out of nowhere. “Y-yeah…”

“Well… that’s… a lot to process…” 

You feel a last amount of courage bubbling up inside your chest, the heat rising on your face. “Wanna… go out for lunch and talk about it?”

They blink a few times, then nods. “Yeah… Yeah, I would like that.”

You know they probably just want to talk so they can understand why you love them, especially since they tend to believe that no one loves them, but you’ll take it.

You’ll do anything to prove to them that they deserve love.

Vicky Schmidt:

For as long as you can remember, Vicky has always managed to bring a smile to your face. Her cheerfulness and her will to always do her best to achieve her goals and make others happy are what you admire the most about her… and also why you secretly love her so much.

You noticed how she would always go out of her for others, but almost no one would make sure that she gets some happiness back too… and since you weren’t too courageous enough to talk to her about your feelings yet, you decided to put anonymous letters in her locker. Not necessarily love declarations (though you do have left those), but just little notes to brighten her day or to make her feel better if she ever feels insecure about something. 

Of course, she absolutely loves them. Every day, you could see that her smile was brighter, her eyes shinier and that she would laugh more than usual. It made your heart bursts with pure happiness and love knowing that you were the reason behind all of this, and even though it hurt that she thought Liam was the one behind all of this, you were happy for her.

And so, one day, you decided that you would tell her that you were behind all of this… even if she rejects you after it, at least she would know that you were the one who wanted to make her so happy in the first place.

The only thing is, when you finally manage to find her in a hallway, her usual happy expression has now turned to a devastated one, her hands grasping onto a piece of paper you remember putting in her locker the day before.

“Vicky?” She turns wide shocked eyes towards you, her expression not changing in the slightest. “… are you okay?”

“I-I… I thought…” She opens and closes her mouth a few times before she manages to explain what happened to you. “I thought Liam was the one sending me those letters, but… when I talked to him about it, he just… made fun of me!”

You kinda feel bad that she had to live through such a hard humiliation from the vampire, but you can’t help to let out a smile. “What made you think it was him?”

“I-I don’t know, this letter…” She looks down at the piece of paper, confusion spreading on her features. “It said…”

“To meet them here today, then you saw Liam and thought it was him?”

“Yes! Wait-” She squints her eyes at you. “How do you know that?”

Your smile stretches out, trying your best to ignore the heat on your cheeks. “I wrote the letter. And all the letters before that.”

“Huh?” She blinks rapidly before a wide grin spreads on her cheeks. “For real?”

“Yeah, I was-”

“Let’s go on a date!” It’s your turn to open your eyes wide in surprise when she suddenly attacks you into a tight hug, her words resonating inside your head. “That’s what you were gonna ask me: if we could go on a date?”

“Y-yeah-”

“Good! It’s settled!” 

She gives your cheek a kiss before she runs out of the hallway, her giggle following her around. You just smile like a dumb person, feeling the butterflies spreading inside your chest.

[ghost-writer-rights]

I wrote this from the hours of 10pm to 3:30am

warnings: hurt/comfort(?), Toko's scars, non despair au, this was super self indulgent and if it's bad blame it on my insomnia brain, drug use(its just marijuana)

"I just have to do this,Toukocchi" the clairvoyant had brought Toko back to her room.

She wasn't known as a klutz or anything. in fact she almost never fell. But somehow as she was up at lunch that day her skirt got stuck and she hit her head on the floor. It wasn't enough to give her any severe head trauma but she did have a slightly open wound at the back of her head.

Yasuhiro had volunteered to help Toko.

He had confessed that he liked the author a while ago, but she dismissed it and (kinda of brutally) shot him down.

■■■

"W-what do y-you m-m-mean you like me?" Toko was in a shocked and seemed disgusted

"Y-y-you're a liar. You're l-l-LYING!!"

"Why would I lie about this?"

"To hurt me! You wanna g-get my h-hopes up and then hurt me w-when I get vulnerable"

"Toukocchi, I-"

"YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM"

■■■

While Hagakure was hurt that Toko thought that he would do something like that, he knows that it's not his fault that she thinks that way. He also knows that there's no way to change her mind so there's no reason to try.

But he could at least try to earn back her trust and be friends again. Well, acquaintances as Toko called them.

"You don't h-have to do anything" the purple haired girl stuttered

"Of course I do. Your head's bleeding and I don't think you can see it by yourself" Yasuhiro was calm as he spoke, deep voice sending tremers down Toko's spine. Not in a h o r n y sense or anything like that. He just has a deep ass voice. Like holy shit. like wow. you can cause an earthquake with that bass.

They sat on her bed back to chest

"I could have at least tried" Yasuhiro sat down the peroxide he picked up from the infirmary.

He also had cotton swabs and cotton pads. As well as bandages.

The tall one carefully traced the wound with a cotton swab to get the blood out of the way.

He was really close to Toko. Her face was no where near his chest but she could still tell

"You smell"

Hiro huffed some air out of his nose at that. She wasn't wrong. He did smell of lemony mint. He always had a small amount of weed on him in case if stressful situations.

"Oh yeah? Is it a good smell or a bad smell, Toukocchi?" He could feel her shoulders relax and he said that. He dipped a new swab in the peroxide. He didn't touch her wound yet though. He wanted to hear her answer.

"I-it doesn't matter! It's smelly"

"Hmm. Hey, aren't you the one who doesn't shower?"

"Shut up"

"Okay well. This may sting a bit" He cleaned her wound. Toko gasped at the contact from the cold liquid.

Silence.

"It's not that I don't bathe" Toko had suddenly spoken up

"Hmm?"

"I bathe. it's just" Hiro stayed quiet. He didn't wanna say something in case she wanted to stop her confession.

"I have to build up enough confidence to get in the bath sometimes it gets here to late". Hiro supposes that makes sense the water does cut off at a certain for billing reasons but

"Confidence?" It was a simple question. She didn't have to answer. It was less a question for her and more to himself. He kinda meant to only say it in his head.

"Well...My legs th-they"

"Hey, you don't have to say anything you don't want to. You know that right?"

"I need to say this otherwise I'll be by myself forever. My legs are c-covered with scars" Hiro was shocked by this.

But it was enough to bring him back to what he was doing before. He had totally forgotten to put a bandage on

He slowly pealed the protective layer off and spread it carefully at the back of her head.

"Are you n-not going to s-s-say anyth-thing?"

"I didn't realize you were finshed, my bad"

"Well?"

"Well, I think that you have real reason to not want to bathe. But, I'm kind of confused. Do you not want to reopen the scars or?"

"I don't like looking at them"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Toukocchi" Hiro didn't want to overstep his boundaries. But he did want to help

"Should I help you?"

"W-w-w-what!"

"So you don't have to look at them. I could wash you. Not in a weird way or anything! I just"

Hiro seemed to whisper that last part. He felt awkward. He wasn't tryna be pervy he really just wanted to help.

Hagakure stepped aside to the window in Toko's room and lit the pre-rolled blunt. He inhaled the lemony smoke and exhaled it through his mouth and nose.

Toko looked at the stressed man at her window. His long dreads in a ponytail

Bags under his eyes.

Ance scattered on his tanned skin

Blowing smoke

The sun shining on his deep brown eyes.

Elbow sitting in the window ledge as he brought the marijuana cigarette to he lips.

He looked beautiful.

But he also seemed sad.

Hagakure was embarrassed with what he had proposed to his crush. He just wanted her to feel safe... and clean.

"H-hey, Palm Tree?" This made Yasuhiro smile and he brought his face down and puffed outward.

"So I have a nickname now?"

"Do you promise to not do anything weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I let you help me. I-I wasn't gonna bathe today but If y-your o-offer is.. ya know"

"Toukocchi," Hiro turned to look at Toko who was still sat fidgeting on her bed, "I promise from the bottom of my heart, I would never and will never do anything to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable"

"okay but... I don't. I. would it be possible for you to do this without you seeing my body?"

"Honestly I think that impossible. But it could be a bubble bath so I can't see under the water"

"t-th-that-that works. Also if you tell anyone about this you'll regret it. you already convinced me to tell you about my insecurities" she spoke in an angry tone but it was obvious she wasn't mad

"Actually if I'm not mistaken I believe it was you that pressured yourself into telling me"

"SHUT UP"

□□□

"Okay, Toukocchi, hop out" Hiro had looked away as he held an out spread towel in his hands for Fukawa to walk into.

Although he looked away she had subconsciously covered her chest until she got wrapped in the towel.

Hiro looked at her. Her long purple hair upbraided, cascading over her shoulders. He could see the little marks on he nose from where her glasses usually sit.

She's so gorgeous. I hope she realizes that one day.

"Can you get out so I can change?"

Oh shit. Right.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry" Hiro walked out closing the door behind him. As soon as he closed it he heard a locking noise.

He stood out in her room and looked around as she changed in her off room bathroom.

He saw her bookshelf. There were copies of her own books. Hiro was actually a big fan of her work. His mom had gotten him into romance novels. it's one of the things they truly bond over.

There were also some manga comics. Surprising considering Toko made a huge deal of manga not being real literature.

I guess we all have our guilty pleasure

The lock on the bathroom door had turned and the door opened.

Hiro's head and turned to see Toko in her underwear. He was awestruck but quickly turned his head back.

"I forgot m-m-my clothes out here" She quickly grabbed her clothes

"I'm sorry you had to see my ugly body" Hiro couldn't let that slide

"What are you talking about" He turned to look at Toko and his voice sounding of mild annoyance.

Toko was shocked

"W-what?"

"Ugly? Toukocchi, you one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen"

"I doubt that" She dismissed. awkwardly smiling. Hiro walked over to Toko. He looked at where her eyes are.

"Toko. I wouldn't lie to you. I would kiss your whole body if it would make you realize how amazingly powerful you look"

"y-you shouldn't k-keep empty promises, Idiot"

That's when he kissed her. Not on the mouth or anything. It was on the forehead. He held her in his arms.

"I love your skin. It's soft but rough at the same time. it compliments your aura so much."

He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed what was in his palm

" I love your hair. It's a beautiful color and it's so shiny"

"probably from how greasy I am"

"probably from how healthy it is"

He brought his head down to kiss her shoulders. He lifted her arms and kissed her hands and wrist.

"I love your hands. You've written such nice material with them and it shows. Sure they're callosed and rough but it just goes to show how much you care about what you produce"

He kneeled down so his face was to her tummy

"Is this okay with you?"

"mhm" Toko had covered her face from embarrassment. She looked like a rose.

" I need a verbal yes or else this feels weird, Toukocchi"

"I-I- I'm okay with this"

He kissed her tummy and she suddenly felt tense

"My- my legs"

He kissed her thighs. He kissed all over where he saw a scar.

"Your legs are beautiful. If you didn't have them right now you wouldn't have have anything to hate. I wouldn't have anything to make you feel better about."

He stood up and kissed her, on the lips this time. His hand held the side of her face. Her cheek leaned into his touch.

"I love you, Toukocchi" Her rose face was now a bright ruby. The brightest to ever be seen. She hid behind her hair

"You love me for my body? Or do you love me because you feel bad for me?"

Once again he chuckled at this.

"Toukocchi, I love you for so much more than that" He brushed her hair our of her face.

"I love how determined you are. Even if you don't feel like it or realize it. You really do more than what you're capable of if the task is important to you. You're sweet, and quirky and you're always there for the rest of us in your own weird way. I love the way you portray the world in your novels. I love the way you smile when you feel truly at peace. Ya know when you think no one is looking? it's that genuine and pure happiness. Even if it's small it really shows how much you care for all of us and enjoy being around us. Like we're all your family"

"Y-you said a lot of words just then"

"I know you don't like me back. And I'm okay with that. But please know that I will love you for the person that you are no matter what. And anytime you feel like you're ugly remember this moment and remember how beautiful you are"

"Yasuhiro, I-"

"Do you promise?"

"I promise"

[figureinthedistance]

i shouldnt b dealing w this on the first day of my period i ordered moving boxes y-day evening bc it said they take 3-5 business days 2 arrive n w covid i was anticipating potential delays + i ordered them 2 my flat in dub which ill be in from Sunday thinking the earliest the boxes cld arrive wld b tuesday but somehow they arrived 2day!!!! less than 24 hrs having passed since i placed the order! + my flatmate is away this wknd + my one friend in the area is still in their family home fr covid but the delivery person left the boxes behind the bins outside my flat so like i gotta get em picked up mam said i shld ask dad who lives in dublin so i did + he LEFT ME ON READ. smh. i also feel bad bc he didnt kno i was coming back to dublin i had telling him on my to do list n i was def gna meet up w him before i move country but now it halfway seems like im only saying that so he'll pick up the boxes n hes sorta insecure according 2 my mam abt how little time me n my siblings appear 2 wanna spend w him which im sympathetic 2ward him bc i kno its a result of emotional repression tht causes him a lot of suffering but he like shows such little interest in spending time w us me n my brother wanted 2 visit his great aunt once in donegal n asked him2 come w us n he was like no i saw her last year. n he also has a weird thing where he cant plan ahead he'll onky ever make plans 2 days in advance @ most + if u try n make plans fr like sth in a week he literally jst wont commit. anyway im so fucking stressed i wanna kno what the moving boxes are in + whether if it rains itll ruin them

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

[justauthoring]

Killing a Clown Isn't as Easy as it Looks

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cussing (Richie is here of course there is) and violence

———————————————————————————

You all entered the large area filled to the brim with toys and old children’s clothes, shouting Beverly’s name so loudly that it echoed off of the walls. You stopped in your tracks when you saw it.

Beverly was in the air, her eyes glazed over, and she was suspended without any ropes. She was just floating there impossibly.

You got the rest of the Losers attention, pointing upwards to the other female Loser. You heard gasps and Richie whispered an “oh fuck”. All of you ran over, excluding Bill, and built a human ladder, grabbing her ankle and getting her onto the ground. Ben started shaking her, trying hopelessly to get his love to wake up. In a moment of weakness, he kissed her, surprising the rest of you. 

She actually woke up.

“What is this a fucking Disney movie?” Richie slapped your arm but smiled anyway, thankful for the comic relief. While Beverly was getting reacquainted and explaining what happened, you noticed that Bill wasn’t in the group with all of you. You took the opportunity and looked around, finally seeing him staring at something and trembling. You walked over to the boy, meaning to comfort him, but then you saw what he seemed terrified of.

Georgie was standing right in front of the two of you.

“Billy, I wanna go home,” the boy uttered in a heart-shattering tone. His and Bill’s eyes welled up with tears as the rest of the Losers came over. You heard noises of surprise and Richie cussing behind you as they saw what you two were seeing.

Bill sniffed and walked up to Georgie, the bolt gun in his hand. “I want you to come home t-too, more t-than anything.” Georgie smiled gratefully and went up to his brother. Billy slowly raised the bolt gun’s barrel to rest on Georgie’s forehead. “But you’re not Georgie.” He shot the gun, scaring the rest of us. 

Georgie fell to the ground, laying still for what seemed like hours before we saw the boy’s leg jolt awkwardly to the side. Before long, his entire body was shaking and contorting on the ground. All of the Losers were huddled together, watching the disturbing scene unfold. Bill was trembling and trying not to cry, and you were close to crying yourself.

Suddenly, Georgie stopped shaking and laid still. It wasn’t for long, though. His limbs shot out one by one and turned into those of Pennywise; the clown that had been terrorizing all of you one by one.

He grinned and tilted his head to the side after he had fully transformed from the little boy. Out of nowhere, he grabbed you, dragging you with him to rest against the wall. You struggled and tried to scream, no sound escaping your blocked windpipe. Gasping for air, you tried to call the other Losers for help as they stood, staring wide-eyed at you. Time seemed to slow as you saw Bill and Richie running towards you, bolt gun in hand. The scene unfolding in front of you stopped, and you heard a low, rumbling laugh from behind you.

“You see those pathetic little boys?” You didn’t answer, still struggling to escape the clown’s death grip. “They’ll do anything to save their friends. But you aren’t their friend, now are you?” You stopped, shocked at what Pennywise had just said. “You’re just a pathetic little girl that annoys them with your presence. You mean nothing,” he spat at you with a high-pitched giggle following after. “You’re worthless, and you know it. They know it too, and they aren’t trying to save you. They just want to make sure they don’t get in trouble for losing someone down here.” Tears fell from your eyes slowly as the clown’s words sunk in. “And that Billy boy, he’ll never like you, you know that, right?” Your heart got a jolt of pain as you heard the words fall onto your ears. You knew that you shouldn’t listen to it, but you couldn’t help but let it affect you, bringing out and confirming your insecurities.

As if on cue, time seemed to reanimate itself, and the boys were running towards you.

“Guys, don’t,” you croaked out. They looked confused, but still came over. “I said don’t. I’m already a goner, just go!”

“W-We’re not leaving you d-d-down here.”

“Yeah, you’re one of us.”

“No, I’m not, now listen to me and get out of here while you still can.” The clown’s deep laugh echoed through the sewers as he released his grip on you only slightly. 

“You should listen to the little girl. In fact, I’ll make you a deal. If you leave her with me, none of you will see me again. If you don’t all of you will die.” The last word was spoken as if it were dripping with hatred for the kids around you.

“(Y/n). We aren’t leaving, we promise,” Bill said with a determined look.

All of this time, Richie had been slowly creeping towards Pennywise’s toy pile and found a large baseball bat. He came running and slammed the bat against the clown’s head, stunning him enough for you to struggle out of his grip and crawl quickly over to the Losers, coughing and trembling on the ground. Beverly knelt down and asked if you were okay, checking your face and neck for injuries. You heard action going on beyond you two, but your hearing sounded like you were in a tunnel, and your vision started turning black at the corners.

“B-Bev, I don’t feel so good,” you said before passing out on the concrete. 

-Switch to Bill’s point of view-

I swung my fists at him as hard as I could, the others right beside me, helping. We knocked him into the small well near us, his hands gripping the side as he looked up at us with what seemed like worry.

“Fear,” he uttered before dissipating into what looked like ash.

“Did we just…” Richie trailed off, staring at the hole in the ground with awe.

“Bill!” I whipped my head around to see (y/n) laying on the floor and Beverly kneeling over her with a look of terror on her face.

Oh no. Please don’t be what I think it is. She can’t be. I can’t lose her too; I already lost one person I care about. 

I ran over quickly and crouched beside of Beverly, shaking and stuttering too badly to get a sentence out. “Her pulse is still there, but it’s weak,” Beverly said, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. She’s not dead. I picked her up bridal style and followed the others out in a sprint, looking down at her worriedly.

When we got back to the surface, we went to (y/n)’s house since it was closest. I ran up the stairs with her still in my arms, laying her on her bed and checking her pulse again. It was still there. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Please be okay,” I whispered to her sleeping figure. The others were gathering things to help check things like her temperature and blood pressure as I stayed here beside of her. I couldn’t tear myself away from her side after all that had just happened.

I ran my fingers through her hair lightly, tears still threatening to escape my eyes. “P-Please be okay,” I said again, quieter.

-Switch back to (y/n)’s point of view-

You woke up to the sound of quiet humming and footsteps. When you opened my eyes, you saw that you were in your room. Bill was pacing back and forth in front of your bed, humming something you couldn’t place.

“Bill?” He turned around quickly and you saw that his eyes were red and his cheeks tear-streaked.

 “Oh t-thank g-god,” he whispered as he came over to you, enveloping you in a hug as he cried into your shoulder quietly. You wrapped your arms around his neck weakly, noticing that none of the others were here with the two of you.

“Where’s everyone else?“ You pulled away from the hug and looked at him, noticing the fresh tears on his face.

“You w-were out for a c-couple hours. They already left. I wanted to stay and m-m-make sure you were going to wake up.” You heard the relief in his voice as he stared into your eyes, seemingly feeling better.

“Pennywise? Is he-“

“We killed him. H-He’s gone.” You forced a smile as you recalled what the clown had said to you in the final moments that you had been awake in his sewer/lair. Tears welled up in your eyes, and, of course, Bill noticed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m okay.” You smiled unconvincingly, gaining a look from Bill that let you know he wasn’t buying it. You sighed and ran your hand through your messy hair. “Pennywise confronted me about my fear before you guys came and saved me.”

“How? We were there in a f-few seconds after he g-grabbed you.”

“I guess he stopped time or something, I don’t know. He had a full on conversation while you guys were standing still, that’s all I know.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” you muttered, rubbing your arm.

“W-What do you mean?” 

“I don’t wanna say,” you said quietly, voice breaking from almost crying.

Bill took his hand in yours gently, rubbing his thumb on the top of your hand. “You c-can tell me anything (y/n). You k-k-know that right?” You looked up to his eyes, not seeing anything other than pure care and truth.

“Well,” you sighed, “he told me that I was worthless.” A few tears rolled down your cheeks. “And that I meant nothing to any of you. That I’m just a bother and you guys only cared about me as someone who could get you in trouble if I died.” A sob racked your body as you said the last sentence. You felt Bill wrap you into another hug, his hand rubbing circles on your back.

“That’s n-not true.” 

“Yes it is.”

“Look at m-me.” You did as he said, seeing him almost in tears again himself. “You are anything but worthless. You mean the world to us. To me. We all care about you. Everyone was rushing around here trying to get things for you to make sure you made it through okay. Even Richie was trying his best to help. (Y/n), you are the most important person in my life, and I’m sure all of the Losers care about you.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I guess this is as good a time as any.” He looked you in the eye, making sure that you were listening to him. “I am in love with you. I don’t care if we’re ‘too young’ to say that, because I actually am.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you realized what had just left his mouth. “Y-You didn’t stutter.”

“And you did,” he said laughing, relieving some of the tension.

Without thinking, you leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. You saw his face flush pink and his eyes widened, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “I love you too.”

Sorry that was so long, I got carried away!

-Luluio1017-

[rach-hell]

a-z my question: am i ur fave

A - If I’m in love.     i genuinely don’t know. and if i am idk if it’s just one person. either way i’m definitely over it so… fuck me, right? :/ my emotions are a mess and i just have so much affection to give this sucks

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.my roomieeeee he thought i was drunk cause i was ranting a million tangents at once lmao

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.february 18th :/

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.definitely girls. it’s probably about 90/10 women/men.

E - How many piercings I have.zilch, idk if i want any or not i haven’t really thought about it. if i transition i’ll def get my ears done but as is?? eeeeeehhh

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’ sunflowers or roses?R O S E S

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.    in a casual way? u :’D romantically? my ex :/

H - The last person I hugged.     roomieeee he gives rly good hugs when i need them honestly i’m so grateful to him ;w;

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.    literally today, i feel like i haven’t done anything fun ever tbh, i feel like i missed out and it sucks like i’m bitter but not at anyone just at the fact that i’m not really living my life and others are and that hurts

J - Are you insecure. What about?    god… everything… my face my voice my body in general my complete inability to do anything my lack of any actual skills or talents my lack of passion or drive for anything, my lack of life experience the feeling that i’ll never experience or achieve anything… tbh i’m completely and fundamentally unhappy with every aspect of my life and who i am as a person lol

K - What my full name is.    eeehhhh not on the internet sorry, hmu girlie, but it’ll be a trade

L - If I have siblings.    nooooope

M - If I forgive betrayal.    not on your fucking life. tbh i don’t forgive easily in general

N - Favourite animal?    PUMAAAAA I LOV THEM LOOKIT THEY PAWS THEY’RE SO BEFFY

O - Where would I like to travel    i reeeaaally wanna see more of the americas, the wilderness there is beyond gorgeous, i also absolutely adore italy and iceland those two are my bucketlist tbh. and i have heeeaaps of family in germany and some in france so i wanna go there for sure. and spain. and i’d really love to take a trip to japan and do lots of photography the urban environment there is so different from ours it’s gorgeous dang.

P - What kind of music I like.    like… everything. lately i’ve been listening to absolute trash my current faves are halsey, dua lipa, hey violet, missio, saint PHNX, dreamers, 21p, but i also adore shit like globus (who are criminally underrated fr go listen to black parade and come back to me without goosebumps and tears in your eyes), missy higgins, arctic monkeys, grinspoon, chilli peppers, pearl jam, mcr, i have too many faves to list i’m giving up, when i was younger i was reeeaaaally into like, maiden and rob zombie and judas priest and shit… i know, i know.

Q - Favourite flower?    arum lillies

R - Is cheating ever okay?    fuck off. if anyone asks this seriously take their teeth out and ditch their disgusting asses.

S - 2 habits.    

ugh i bite my nails SO bad it’s awful :/

uh… fuck idk i’m struggling here… not really a habit (and nsfw avert ur eyes kiddies) but if i don’t cum daily i get super grumpy and also kinda needy and whiny it’s not pretty i’m a mess

T - 3 things I love unconditionally.    

my friends

good music

good food

i know these are all kinda cheap answers but i don’t have much else :/

U - Favourite time of year, and why    autumn, i love the colours and the smells and the overcast skies and the raaaaiiin and it’s perfect photography lighting and the temperature’s just right

V - Big dreams?    i used to have them, i’ve kinda just settled down to “survive” now…

W - If I’ve done something I regret very much.a lot of things, none of which i feel comfortable discussing in the open other than my last breakup that was… poorly handled on my part. like… it’s done now and i’m (trying to) deal, but i think i fucked up a mostly good thing because i was going through a rough time and i’m pretty sure i made the wrong choice. if you’re interested in the rest hmu when i’m drunk hun, they’re super personal and don’t shed me in a particularly great light

X - 3 turn ons    goddd how can i list just 3 hhhhh

for sake of ease ima just say power exchange, p much any dynamic that falls under that umbrella is A+++

idk what we’re going for here?? like things that get me goin’ for sex or sex things i like?? maybe i just go for the former?? fuck this is Hard um… if u drop your voice real low and breathy and husky and get in close and piurtehorijkwgesfsds WRECK ME

lots of super gentle touching like touch my thighs or my tum or run your fingers along my spine or in my hair i’ll be messy tbh

FUCK IT THAT’S 3-ISH

Y - 3 turns offs    

SUPER PUSHY/”““HINTING”““/AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE WHEN I’M CLEARLY NOT RECIPROCATING IT JUST CREEPS ME TF OUT STOP

ok this sounds ridiculous but like… lack of interest, if you don’t put any effort into whatever shenanigans we’re into and you’re just kinda flat it just gives me the impression you’d literally not care if we were doing anything else and idk like… don’t be a fucking board during sex like that ruins errything for me. like i know it’s not always 100% like… “dragging moans from ur throat whether u want to or not” but like… damn put some effort in homeslice, show me you’re actually enjoying yourself like sometimes ya just make a bit of noise or get a lil theatrical for ur partner’s sake and that’s fine, doesn’t mean you’re faking it. this got long soz.

again this is gonna sound weird but like… idk in my sex life i have a history of being w/ people who like… didn’t wanna touch me? like if ur not suuuuper into dicks fine but also idk don’t make me feel like you think my body’s gross honestly longterm that’s really fucked w/ my self esteem not just a turn off lol

Z - Ask any question you want. am i ur fave?homegirl i’m at least 23% in love with u duh what kind of dumbass fucking question smh you really are a stupid girl