#n idk it’s weird bc i am living and seeing ppl but i still feel like im so isolated bc im so disconnected from myself

[graevs666]

.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Omg

Hey

Hey!

HEY!!

WHAT ABOUT GOD READER THAT GOT A CURSE PLACED ON THEM BY SOMEONE THEY DON'T LIKE

That curse makes them turn to random ages like,, one day you wake up and your like 3 and the other you're 29 and the acolytes just have to deal with it for a months (and just for funziz you don't keep your memories as a kid *evil laugh*)

I feel like people who are generally around kids would be great around us and some others .... Less so (*cough cough* ei)

AND EVEN BETTER

WHAT IF ENGLISH ISN'T OUR FIRST LANGUAGE AND IT SUMTGING LIKE FRENCH OR SPANISH, AND THE ACOLYTES ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE TEYING TO TALK TO YOU WHILE 14 YEAR OLD READER IS CURLED UP IN A BALL CUS THEY'RE SCARED LSKFJGJDLSK

let the tennage/ kid reader be neurodivergent/autistic (cuz i am and theres bot enough rep on this god forsaken app .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.)

n E wayss <3

LOVE YA !!!!

Aka. your fave >:D kiss kiss

A KISS KISS??!!! FOR ME?!!! 😊🥰😚 <3

BRO i literally designed a whole original character around that concept lmao (except they remember/just body change/everything else kinda matches ur desc! :0 )

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only), Neurodivergent!Reader, Child!Reader, Teen!Reader

Planet: Language Shenanigans, Platonic

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, mini scenarios

Stars: Arataki Itto, Kuki Shinobu, ft. Kujou Sara, Ei + Raiden Shogun, Inazumans

Comets & Meteors: No Content Warnings & No Triggers Detected.

no bc gif is me as a kid, bc I didn't experience snow until I was 12 💀 +it stayed for like one day, was 1 inch deep, or like 5 cm (for my non-americans out there), and was gone the next lmao- I was terrified when I moved and got REAL snowy days- jfc Snezhnaya would kill little me-

SO I was kinda stuck on this tbh, i usually default to like, headcanons or scenarios if ppl dont specify/im just adding onto what you already said like when its not even really a request u know?

so, uh tried to do headcanons, but idk how good it is Orah, sorry!

Also ik you mentioned as example, but we sticking to Inazuma, bc i feel like I neglect them lol

also i hope u like Itto 💀

♤

you quickly found out that magic obeys some weird type of logic despite being magic, so you only ever fluctuate in age within the range you’ve already been,

ur kinda glad youre not seeing what you look like at 100 years old and getting stuck that way for weeks- only Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle can be cursed to be old yet has so much rizz that she’s still badass and pulls a wizard boyfriend LMAO

so just bc idk what to make the max,

let’s put you at originally, also bc im not a minor, 20 yrs old

so what I mean by all the above is: you’ve lived 2 decades, 1-20 are the only ages you can be

-that being said,

you’re a menace.

so yeah you could’ve been a quiet kid, a well-behaved kid, a good kid even,

…but not in a magical world full of awesome flora and fauna, and magical creatures,

and gods, and vision users and-

you get the point.

plus, you hadn’t really learned English yet until u were a bit older so (who can blame you i hate this language ur so valid)

and for whatever reason English is the only one these guys speak, besides maybe some mythical creatures like the aranara or something

so its kinda absolute chaos trying to reign u in at times.

so needless to say the entirety of Inazuma is terrified for you.

like, even if you aren’t the “Creator” per say in this, they still know what the warmth of your power feels like

But more importantly-

You know who’s the first to spot a random wandering-non-Inazuman-child? And take you in? Especially one that radiates that same energy of presence they feel sometimes + makes them more powerful???

The Amazing, the All-Powerful, Awe-Inspiring Oni: Arataki Itto!

Not even his gang, or Kuki are the first to see you, nah it’s Itto himself,

he literally finds 12 yr old you just sneaking around in awe in Chinju Forest,

and needless to say ur pretty fascinated with the colors and the vibes, and it’s not like Genshin Impact existed when u were this young, ur poor younger self is just rlly paranoidly looking around

Itto is kinda a lot at first, and he was a little confused by ur constant rubbing your arms, or tapping ur fingers on stuff, (or all the stims u be doing when ur nervous) but he just took it all in stride

so Itto, after like an hour and a few well placed rocks at his face and groin by 12 yr old u who was ready to fight to the death at first, FINALLY convinced you by drawing a little picture of his house and his friends

and all that clear effort, despite the foreign world, foreign non-human guy, etc., made you warm up to him too, afterall, even 12 yr old you knew a himbo when they saw one 💪

at first he just thought you were another person who was getting powered up by that yokai he felt (he was convinced thats what you were when u weren’t physically here before, like some kind of powerful gift giving/deal making yokai)

but after he saw you shapeshift the next morning into 16 yr old you, (he lives with his grandma so ur younger self felt pretty safe staying with a himbo guy and an little grandma lady)

he was now more convinced than ever-

that you were some kind of god that’s been in hiding since the archon war (his granny has a lot of cool stories so what?! hes a very educated oni thank you very much!),

rather than a vision user, and he also thinks u being random ages is deffo a curse, and its to keep ur powerfulness limited!! - Arataki Itto, 202X

(bc younger u doesnt remember that u can upgrade ppl, or at least it takes em a learning curve bc they gotta relearn everytime)

okay but itd be so funny tho if nobody else believes that (esp the non-magical folk), bc to them, ur just like, a bunch of siblings (child, teen, adult you lmao) or a tanuki lol

he eventually gets Kuki to believe, after she also sees how you change/the aura is honestly more powerful too once she’s paying attention, like instead of like a blanket, ur like standing in front of a raging campfire

but she makes him keep it a secret

ur really vulnerable a lot of the time, so they’re both worried abt keeping u happy and safe, aw cuties <3

◇

so yeah, ur literally just chillin with the arataki gang all the time now

the gang become ur besties no matter the age, like they love mild pranks, and general chaos, u wanna explore no matter the age, and also love chaos, esp since it can be magical now (oh child you is having the time of their life when they’re around)

its literally a match made in heaven

plus the more hands on deck, the easier it is to keep ur ass from running off as a kid (and an adult, bc omg a shiny?? a shiny crystal fly???!! lmao neurodivergent 🤝crow/raven = shiny solidarity)

honestly Itto has a blast with all versions of you, and he’s literally the best bc he’s a himbo:

so he’s fine with answering context or “obvious” questions all the time LMAO

and if he makes any conclusions abt ppl’s behavior u dont, he’ll explain pretty quick and simple and he never sees it as awkward or smth

its honestly kinda funny bc ur like 10, and just 🤨🤨🤨??? sometimes at ppl (u got better at reading ppl as u got older obv, and at english too, that doesnt help lol)

he’s super sweet abt it, just really quick which is great too,

“he’s irritated at the guard, not us!”

or “she’s relieved, not upset, don’t worry it’s all good!”

like, u never misunderstand ANYBODY with this Oni around!! <3

(this is mainly bc Itto’s gotta know when to bail, joke, stand his ground, etc. from experience, and messing w/Kujou Sara so he’s actually really good at reading people, only when he’s paying attention tho)

◇

so younger u just feels safe around Itto, and so while u do get taught english (mostly by his grandma/Kuki) u also dont rlly mask,

nor do u know how to mask as well as you do in the future

so ur just running around with the gang, living ur little neurodivergent life, and anytime someone points out smth u do that might be awkward, like repeating something over and over as a stim (esp with learning english phrases/new words at times) the gang and Itto, and Kuki, are all ready to protect 💪

but most of the time what happens is- whether unintentionally or not, Itto manages to make THEM feel awkward or like they’re the ones doing something socially weird all the time 😭

just, a parent is like “this kid can’t speak English, do they even know any other language? Because all I keep hearing is them repeating that sound over and over…”

Itto: “Damn you're right they do that a lot, just like how you peek out your window a lot, but we all got our quirks man, no need to be shy about it, the kid isn’t, so just open those curtains, and that window and look out at the world!”

which announces to the whole neighborhood, bc Itto is only ever not loud when you tap his arm as a signal, that the parent is the nosiest bitch ever, he just puts them on blast for everyone to hear lmao

◇

Itto is actually very respectful about you, and while it would, almost be easy bc of the age switching, for him to infantilize you, he’s really good at treating you like an equal no matter how old you are :0 :D

like a giant teddy bear older brother at times, and the guys and Kuki are all pretty good at it too

(tho dw, Kuki is doing all the emotional distress heavy lifting for all of them over your safety, esp bc when u switch at first u are VERY out of your element/disoriented bc u dont always recognize Teyvat/know less English)

but that being said…

Itto fucking loves your excited/happy stims!!!

You flap your hands? Ittos flapping his arms!

You jump up and down, Itto jumps!,

…with his full grown man self with MUSCLES, and causes a mini earthquake wherever you guys are- yknow a shop, the center of town, somebody’s house, near one of the guards 💀 (which always manages to knock them flat on their ass LMFAOO)

Or best of all, you do little stompy stomps??

ITTO DOES HIS STOMPS WITH YOU, like his idle animation does??? :D !!

DUDE- (/gen.n.)

u were like 8 at the time, and saw Kujou Sara for the first time, she’s looking all badass, mostly bc Itto pranked her and she’s power-walking toward u guys pissed as hell ready to arrest him, but u love it anyway bc shes so cool, and right as Sara gets to u two-

u start doing stompy stomps! And Itto joins!!

…and she’s shocked at first, but realizing how giggly and happy u two are, and then Itto explains its bc of her???

Kujou Sara lets Arataki Itto go, for the first time, ever.

she doesnt explain, but she literally was so melted by cuteness, and a warm familiarity??, by u two she couldnt be mad anymore lmao

Itto is now legally obligated to bring you to any and all matters involving the government, regardless of age, according to Kuki Shinobu, his grandma, and himself

all for different reasons tho, Itto’s like, “My lucky charm! My bestie goes everywhere with me!”

meanwhile Kuki/grandma: “A foreign non-Teyvatian speaking child/teen at times is more adept at keeping Itto in line than anyone else, or at least getting him out of the consequences 💀”

♧

Bonus:

The first time you see the Raiden Shogun,

She scares the shit out of 6 yr old you 😭

And she recognizes that familiar aura immediately, so shes just like:

😶😦😰

(You warm up to her after she offers to show you how she can summon lightning, Itto helped her lmao, and Ei also came out to keep u safe bc Raiden is a little… unaware… at times, of mortal limits, and now that ur in a mortal body-)

Also both of them unanimously agree to be the sugar mother to all ur hyperfixation foods/safe foods ever, SCOREEEE

◇

Bonus 2:

*KUKI WOULD LIKE THE COLLECTIVE CITY OF INAZUMA TO KNOW SHE DOES NOT APPROVE OF ITTO TEACHING U ENGLISH CUSSWORDS

☆

I hope somebody likes Itto enough to enjoy this, sorry if u arent a huge fan of him Orah! I just think he's annoying and neat, and havent written abt Inazuma enough lmao

I finally graduated college/uni by the way guys!!!

Ill actually have a life now that wont be hogged by homework! Like writing! Like drawing! Like anything but school!

Anyway, love u guys, another post coming soon,

Safe Travels Orah,

💀♒️

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[wewebaggit]

i love how ur bio says safe space for hopper haters bc too many ppl in this fandom are always like “whaaaaat!? but how can u not like jopper ���” when he is not only a full grown man who abuses his power and was horrible to Joyce in s3 but also his character itself is literally copaganda

and it’s concerning and so weird (but also unsurprising) that jopper is like… elevated as this god tier ship, even in queer spaces, when in reality it’s pretty mid and also why would I want to ship Joyce byers with a cop

Hey booksandpaperss!

I am a safe space for ALL HATING. But specifically Jim Copper hate simply because he is shown a lot of undeserved grace by the fandom and the writers.

Since it's now in vogue to hate on s3 I'll take this opportunity to escape being called a negative nancy for once and just a hatering hater. Here goes:

My hate for Hopper is not as a result of season 3 but in fact it began with s2. (s1 a wee bit) But truly honestly deeply since season 2.

Hopper in season 2

After giving up Eleven's location in the prior season, Hopper then out of the goodness of his heart (😒) starts leaving Eggos for El in a reverse HansEl and GretEl. The feral El now has a home. But is it a home? Or just another prison? Hopper leaves her alone in the cabin with nothing but a TV. And so El spends her days mindlessly going through all the shit the idiot box has to offer. The only time she's actively interested in the TV is when she wants to use the static to get into the void. Because she has been kept away from the ONE friend she made out of the lab. And let's bffr. It's Mike. She is looking for Mike. And Mike too is the only one thinking about her. Hopper keeping her away from him and lying and being nothing but and angy aggressive cop of a dad is supposed to make the audience feel.....wait what are we supposed to feel? Mad at Hopper? Cuz the end result was people hating on El rebelling against Hopper. And it is all because El's resolution at the end of the Lost Sister episode was......that she needed to go back to Hopper and her friends. However, again it is a point in time when Hopper's at the lab and in mortal danger.

So since we love deep dives and shit and developing lore around characters, would she have been compelled to return to Hopper were he just, idk sitting in his cabin or at the station or whatever. A lot of ST is just about characters deciding to do stuff when someone is in REAL DANGER™️ But specifically with Hopper, he only steps up as dad when El's in danger. Otherwise he's treating her as a pet, something Mike was wrongfully accused of.

The whole entire (almost) year that El was with Hopper we do not see a change in her personality. Her rage has worsened. Her vocabulary is still lacking. In spite of the word of the days. There's no female presence in her life. He neither recruited Joyce nor her aunt (though that would have been sus, agreed n yet would it have been any different seeing as El managed to do it alone.) She's been held hostage for her own good.

Hopper: You put us in danger.

El: You promise. I go. I never leave. Nothing ever happens.

And then he grounds her. Like she was living it up otherwise. (S2E4)

We know it was because this was El's story of rebellion and trying to find her identity and so the story does not have Hopper do these things. But that still means that the story chose for Hopper to not do these things. He is even shown apologising (meh. half assed like his foil Mike, but that's for later) for it towards the end. And yet, that's something that's rarely discussed in fandom circles while talking about Hopper.

Hopper in Season 3

Oh he proves he's a blackhole alright. Sucked Joyce's character development. He's only marginally improved letting Mike see her but beyond that it's still mostly the same. She still is under-socialised. Speaks like that. El herself seeks out Max. Joyce is still too busy being ungrateful (I know not the intent, but the execution nonetheless) she's still not leaving the cabin much and has some curfew. Again which is, well why is it there? Cuz she's been coolly gallivanting with Max at the mall and everywhere else without a problem.

He's a proper asshole to Mike and a bully. Who tf threatens murder to a 13 year old kid? Like between having a chat and threatening homicide, he could come up with ZERO options. He needs emotional laxatives that aren't just anger and bullying.

Hopper in season 3 is an unfunny comic relief. A man baby. A bully who uses his cop privileges. Who treats the woman he supposedly likes like shit. He was so mad about Joyce not meeting up with him despite her telling him the reason. I mean mister you did that with Eleven too and just expected her to understand. The juvenile hUmOUr and the macho man action scenes where he's outwitting trained Russian mercenaries (lmao) is a step down from the basement he was already in. Him treating Alexei like shit when he was the only one who could have helped them. Make it make sense. (Anti-Russia/USSR pro USA copaganda and nothing else)

Also beyond all of this I simply hate Hopper for taking away valuable screentime from the kids that this show is supposedly about but hasn't really been that for some time now. He's a white male war veteran cop who's a Hawkins native and was a popular kid in school too. So he's not even an outsider in terms of being the new man in town, let alone the shit that really matters.

Hopper in Season 4

Not dead enough.

Jopper throughout the show

Mid chemistry. Joyce is already a semi-absent mother but becomes entirely absent after Hopper's message from Russia. She has ZERO clue of what her kids are going through in Cali and then has the fucking audacity to walk out on them without even letting them know that she might not return. She also leaves the only responsible person in that household with the charge as if she ever took it. She is now been relegated to being the comic relief which is neither comical and far from a relief and Hopper's girlfriend. Every season she has proven to be right on the money with her instincts and every season everyone including Hopper question her as if she's the dumb one. Hello. Do you guys clear up your memory after every season? It's annoying and one note. Hopper is a jealous manbaby all of s3 and a fucking liar. "i shOuldn't hAVe seNt yOu the LeTteR" Bitch u did. You wanted out. Dasvidaniya! El's college fund. But you'll only need it if you make it through school 🤷‍♀️. WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOL HELLO. Though I do commend the subversion of the found family trope where both the adults are pathetic parents. Do love one of the main couples being failparents! (is that a thing? or are they pioneers?)

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[lapdogchase]

i am losing it the tiniest bit .

googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.

and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.

and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).

and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.

whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her

and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense

and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore

but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out

and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!

and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .

[fadingstarryskies]

im gonna break the 160s soon im so excited i think

tw tw ed stuf, numbers, specific stuff with me, do not recommend ofc,

just ramblings abt life tbh

idk if im going thru weird stuff emotionally or not but its been really easy to liquid fast whole days or not eat much during the week, when im around ppl its worse but ive reached a point where its getting easier and maybe thats kind of scary bc im prolly not getting enough protein bUT!!

when i am eating i never feel bad if its beef or chickeni just try to have a lot of veggies and low carbs if its possible and its like, it was hard but my body prefers this bc maybe some foods make me nauseous or maybe its just knowing that i hate feelong too full or full at all, so if i eat more i have to ease into it

but idk i am rly anxious abt stuff and just trying to live and do well at school ya know

at this point i get distracted so much with hobbies and small social stuff that i only have enough time for school and money for survival if i am working and doing schoolwork all the time, and during work even though I have infinite access to food and smoothies I force myself to drink water bc im always dehydrated anyway and the smoothies have always made my stomach uncomfortable. ill have small amounts tho, or some whipped cream w espresso in the espresso cups r so cute,

but anyway a week or 2 ago i was 160 or 162 but then my mom came into town and it was my partners bday so i was eating some stuff but still avoided a lot? but i did eat a lot of chocolate covered strawberries lmao they were good tho i dont regret (theyre technically still fruit rigghhhttt)

and i didnt rly we1gh myself but then i was 167 ish again at the end of the day but now im 161 so its weird but i just want to get past this for good and be in the 150s like i need to get to the normal/healthy weight at LEAST and keep my muscles since im starting to see them in some places.itll take a lot more work to have abs thoughhh, whatwvee gn sorry if you had to read thru my ramblings

oh also i got rly cute oxford type sketcher shoes and i really hope im able to land an internship / leads at the career fair in a couple weeks n i know the shoes will complete the look and i just want to be attractive and competent idk but i dont do school enough / fast enough rip

[yangbbokari]

🐰- Yes

💌- Journal

✨- Kwon Mooyoung(i dont remember if thats how u spell her name)

💕- Yes

💋- Kissing in the rain especially bc I love dancing in the rain

🐝- 💗✨☠️⛓️🫶🏻🧚🏻🧚🏻‍♂️🧚🏻‍♀️😇😈👹👺

🍼- Crying into the arms of my aunt after expressing hardships

🌸- Purple Hyacinth and Sunflowers

💖- Yes

🍰- Vanilla

🍯- Minty and fresh and windy? (ifykyk)

🎂- Meet all k-pop groups I stan Find the one Live a good life as a philanthropist

🍪- def cookies

☕- Tea all the way

🍃- Forest with fairies

🍂- Maisee

💫- I literally don’t know(ask my parents?)

🌧️- Cuddle bc even though I like to dance in the rain, rainy days makes me feel very sensitive

🍭- 4'10

💒- Tinker Bell (idk it just eats)

🎄- Halloween bc I love to dress up w/o being judged, LIKE TF U LOOKIN' AT

🍦- I don't like scented things

🎶- Y.O.Universe by VCHA

💘- Have a nice smile Love me Be a kind and respectful person (I'm rly not that picky)

🍩- Chill

❄️- Autumn(Idk this ssn just gets me going I swear)

💍- SIngle

📷- you're not getting that

💅🏻- Honestly, no(YES!)

🕊️- Barking Being addicted to tumblr Switching cheek to cheek(idk if that makes sense ngl)

🦄- I see myself as a weird but confident individual

🦋- A loud, rowdy, obnoxious, but loving person

🌈- Smiles and eyes

🍓- (This is officially no longer a secret now) I'm a rly bad sadist n i need to get my shit in check. Like I can show sympathy but I love seeing other ppl n pain. Tbh it concerns me, like what am I doing w/ my life.

🍒- I look for them in even the most crowded room and I always make it known, how much I like that person. Also, very straight forward and will just tell the person even if ik they wont like me back.

💔- We just didn't go well 2gether.

💬- "Y is everyone reading except, (Friend's name cant do them dirty)"

🎥- Destined With You and (idk if this rly counts) Stephanie Soo's true crime and tv show reviews

⛅- Get up and grab my toothbrush get to the bathroom to pee, wash my face, then brush my teeth put up my toothbrush b4 going to the kitchen to ice my face(its a beauty tip/trend idk if u've seen it) Come back to my room, dry my face, then put my morning moisterizer on it Then optional makeup and thats it

💗- My bestfriend bc she moved skls

🥀- earlier 2day

🎁- August 8th

🔪- I'm still living in a house haunted by a little boy. But he's pretty chill. I've lived with him for like 12 years now so we ight.

💤- Anything is fine but I dont rly like younger guys. Maybe a few months younger but thats it. ~~~ u dont have to if u dont want to🫶🏻 @tadashisdisaster @mixtape-racha @stayinhellevator

sweet and pure asks

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

💌- diary or journal?

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

💕- are you crushing on someone?

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

💖- have you ever been in love?

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

🍯- describe your favorite smell

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

☕- coffee or tea?

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

🍂- what’s your middle name?

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

🍭- how tall are you?

💒- which show would you want to live in?

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

🎶- favorite song right now?

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

🍩- current mood?

❄️- what is your favorite season?

💍- your current relationship status?

📷- a photo of yourself

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

🍓- one secret about yourself

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?

💬- what your last text message says?

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

⛅- what is your morning routine?

💗- who do you miss?

🥀- last time you cried?

🎁- when is your birthday?

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?

🎀- any question you want

~~Not mine

[trombone-ram]

gonna ramble about boytoy on here bc i rly wanna keep talking abt him but i dont wanna annoy my friends lmao ik they love me n are happy ive got someone im into but im on my obsessive bullshit againnnn kms lmao

2nd date was a rly nice time!!! and like its been a fucking minute since ive been physically intimate with anyone let alone like emotional intimacy and to be fair and not insane, we've still got a lot of getting to know each other but hes been so sweet?? like genuinely so sweet and considerate and i??? was not expecting it honestly, like ive never rly been with a man before and i dont like to make generalizations, i have male friends who are so lovely and compassionate, but tbh most of them are queer, i can think of like one (1) straight male friend that im close to and makes me feel safe lmao. but this guy, i immediately felt comfortable with him and that i could be myself and be weird and corny n shit and he'd be into it lmao and its been rly nice like he held space for me to kind of vent about what ive been going through lately (its been some shit yall) and he was v kind and comforting abt it and???? idk it feels like he wants me to rly open up to him and it feels safe to????

im trying to stay cool and not come on too strong or put too many emotions out there bc i dont wanna scare him and i've done that before with people, ive gotten rly invested in ppl and gotten the rug pulled hard and im honestly scared abt that happening again. like when it happened there was all this physical intimacy and things she said that made me think she wanted more and then she actually didnt and im honestly terrified thats gonna happen with him because i didnt expect it last time, it felt this close last time and then it actually wasnt and it broke my brain. she and i worked it out and we're cool now but it was such a shock and im so scared about getting invested too much too fast and then getting the rug pulled again. like theres been like really connected physical intimacy like he held my hand when we were making out and when we were fucking it was so sweet and i???? i'm so scared to read more into everything im trying to just take him at his word and not get caught up in the physical intimacy but he seems to be really like dedicated to making sure i feel comfortable with him and cared for?? and i do?? and im just scared it doesnt mean as much to him as it means to me because it means a fucking lot like its been so long since i could just relax with a partner and not worry if im doing enough for them or if they need anything or how to maintain their emotional stability like i feel like can just relax around him and its so nice and im just scared that its not as important to him as it is to meeeeee ughhh

he said he likes how easy going i am and that a lot of people around him are high strung and he feels like he can be himself around me too so like i think theres something there but again last time she said a lot of shit that made me feel special and then it turned out i wasnt so??? i really dont know it seems weird to be so like sweet and open and caring if theres nothing substantial behind it?? and he said he wasnt ready for a relationship which i agree with like i dont think im ready either?? but i know i really like him and i could maybe see us making it work it just sucks bc we both live w our parents and he's an hour away in another town so idk how practical it really is???? but i also know i dont wanna see anyone else and i frankly dont want him seeing anyone else, like if we take the non-monagamy route thats fine i can chill w it and there are other people id be open to meeting but honestly if i dont have to i dont want to lmao. i dont think he realizes he could lock me down right now if he wanted to because he popped the 'what do you want from this' question while we were on shrooms lmao and thats not the best time to get coherent answers from me abt things, my brain is mush and making sentences is hard when im on them so i wasnt able to explain myself as well as i wouldve liked but i think i made it clear i rly like him and wanna see where this goes so???? im not gonna pop the exclusivity question until like date 5 or so i think bc im really not trying to rush this even if i want toooooo ughhh

and goddamn that boy can fuck im????? so horny and so horny for himmm its fucking annoyingggg especially since he said he was busy this week :(( like boy idc ill hang at ur place til u get home and rail me chain me up in ur room for all i fucking careeee i feel like im in fucking heat its crazyyy i want him to dom the shit out of me and i wanna be a crazy brat to him and im gonna be such a menaceeeee i wanna make this mans life a living hell is the sexiest way possibleee bc i know I Know if i rile him up he will absolutely destroy me and i want that so badddddd

[11271976-07142023]

A bit over 9 months, Kurtis.

I still don’t believe it.

04/14. I will admit …… I forgot. That is Sparky’s birthday. I feel like apologizing. But I won’t, bc I feel you wouldn’t want me to. I think you would much rather I laugh🥺 vs being sad every 14th. I am sad every day bc you’re not here. He knows it. I speak to him abt you often. You’d like him. I think you’d like him for me. I had negative thoughts in my head tonight abt him. Bc my mind drifted, n I broke my own heart. N I know it’s only bc of the dumb shit I’ve been through these past years. I don’t want it to ruin him n I. — you might be w his wife somewhere. Same place maybe ? I dunno how it works. Him n I both agree that for whatever reason, we need each other ? There’s a lot of synchronicities. Coincidences. Etc. it’s scary weird. Also, idk where Fish is. Idek how he went missing. I need your help, Kurtis. Idk what to do. Idk how to feel. Idk where he’s at. Idk if he’s okay. Idk anything. I need help. Also, you’re not here to bail me out of situations that are caused by my depression. Depression then just being irresponsible tbh. I’ll figure it out. I know you believe in me. I’m tired. N he’s sleeping on the phone, how you n I used to do♥️. I wish you could’ve met him. He’s hooking up so many speakers! Everywhere. He’s always had his living room ones but he just added more noise outdoor ones n he wants to do ffs kitchen next n his workshop n every room, basically. He wants my opinion on it all n I wish I had your expertise. He’s getting his house ready for me, he says. The treatment is doing good so far, so that makes us happy. He has energy and can do things and he can eat more foods he likes, like steak! That’s a big thing. Everything you told me abt ppl like him is so true lol the Costco thing the dog thing the stock thing the this n that thing etc etc lolll I never not think abt you. I love you, Kurtis. I miss you more than you could ever know. Thank you for truly loving me. I see so much more now. All you wanted was me. .. I uh, I have a lot to heal from, but I am happy. Even w the struggles I have rn. He aids in my happiness. It’s mutual. Mutual is a great feeling. So is reassurance. He knows I’ve been through so much hurt. And he doesn’t like it. He said he wants to protect my heart. He wants to protect all of me. I’m tired. See me in dream world, yes?

[nervouswaltz]

oh my god i literalky tried taking the raads r test the other day wnd also got extremely frustrated by how the options to pick were so weird and rage quit LMAOOO i’ve tried to take it two separate times now and have still NEVER finished it bc it geniunely frustrates me so much. but i definitely was answering yes to the majority of the questions so i guess thats the best answer i’ll ever get idk maybe i’ll try again in several months when i forget how frustrating it was for me and try again 😐

yeah!! never feel obligated to finish a test even ones that r abt ur mental health! i have no interest in taking the raads r because i have no interest in pursuing a (possible) autism diagnosis. live ur life n cater to your own needs and if those needs involve Not Labeling Your Brain Function that’s fine and chill :] and if you do go see a specialist and they ask you about the raads r give them the answer of “the black and white thinking frustrated me” like. it’s not about your actual Answer in an eval it’s all about How you answer. it’s not about “do toe seams on socks bother you” it’s about the “well they don’t because i have a System for Working Around It.” anywyas yeah idk i am going to make a quesadilla and watch drunk banter. shoutout to all the autistic ppl on dtblr love y’all

[louscartridge]

okay but I NEEED a Mandy Milkivich fic, maybe a little mutual pining but both of them are in denial so they just think they bsf’s and everything they do is normal to them lolol. Also she most definitely does listen to kittie and I personally think she listens to jack off jill too.

-🌞(idk if this is taken yet lol)

a/n- theres no smut in this btw ive just seen ppl being based for a small cw and i dont feel like needing to block someone bc i didnt put a cw for like fucking swearing. yes you can be 🌞 anon (i have an anon list so you can see what is and isnt taken.)

cw- mentions of drinking, mutual pinning, switch mandy/switch reader (?), mickey saying something ab killing someone, slight mention of smoking, both reader and mandy being stupid, bsf's to lovers ig, gallavich is here too bc i said so, sweariing, mention of ass slapping, mention of boob grabing (consentual), kissing idk man im pretty sure thats evreything.

“mandy!” you laughed, the both of you rolling all over the bed.

mandy stopped moving and so did you. she grabbed your wrists and pushed them against her mattress straddling you. “y/n!” she looked at you mocking back.

“get off me!” 

“noo!” 

taking your leg you wrap it around hers causing her to twist over. you slide your hands down her arms you now being the one on top. 

“oh come on, seriously?” she sighs a hint of frustration in it.

“yeah how do you like it?”

“just let me go.” she says shaking her head. “we could watch a movie.” she says but just above a whisper this time. 

you were about to tease her some more before you were interrupted  but a very familiar laugh.  

“oh ok now thats weird” mickey says slightly laughing pointing to you two, beer in his hand. 

“what are you talking about?” mandy says, you getting off of her.

“what do you mean what am i talking about? if i didnt come in here you guys were gonna fuck. no doubt.” 

“no we werent?” you unsurely respond.

“oh please, you were the one on top of her. you especially know it!” 

at this point the three of you were in the living room. mandy walks in the kitchen to also get a beer.

“hey mandy” ian says leaning on the counter making mandy slightly jump.

“jesus. hey ian”

“beer?” he responds handing her one.

“yeah give me one for y/n too”

“got it-” ian cuts himself off making himself yell over mickeys yelling. “mickey what are you on about?” ian exaggeratedly askes.

he quickly replies “do you think y/n and my sister have fucked each other?”

“hell yeah!” ian says scoffing.

mickey raisis his eyebrows moving his finger from you and mandy repeatedly.

“oh wait have they not?” ian suddenly says curiosity evident.

“apparently not”

“why do you two think we have? or will?” you say opening the beer mandy gave you.

“well for one the random ass boob grabs?” ian answers.

“or ass slaps.” mickey continues

“or sitting on each other to do the other makeup” ian gives another reason

“like you could easily do that without sitting on eacho thers fucking lap” mickey finishes.

they keep going one right after another.

“okay!” you and mandy both shout together.

“always saying shit in sync” 

you cut ian down. “ian! ok we get it. it might seem weird but were not like that. were just friends”

“yeah right. thats how me and ian started doing shit.”

you looked at mickey both grossed out and confused.

“sure we werent friends or doing any of the other weird shit, but the pinning! im talking about the pinning!” he conformed.

“holy shit whatever” mandy sighed going down the hallway back to her room.

“do you still wanna watch a movie?” you semi-shout following her to her room.

“netflix and chill” ian and mickey say tother.

“mandyy” you whine rolling on your side to look at her. 

the movie wasnt over yet but you felt like youve been laying there for years, the movie being incredibly boring.

“mhm?” she questions looking down at you.

“how much longer is left of this?” you ask motioning your head to the tv.

“uhg i know its so boring.” she agrees grabbing the remote beside her.

“oh my god” you groan throwing yourself back down on her bed.”thats way to long!”

mandy turns the movie off and looks at you.

“maybe ian and mickey were right.” she unexpectedly says making you shoot your head up.

“huh!?”

“i mean, ive had friends before. best friends too. not alot but ive had them. and ive never done any of the shit that i do with you with them.” she thinks

“dates?” you question kinda curious yourself.

“ive had fucks. but never actually officially dated someone. i dont think ive even done these things with fucks ethier.”

before ethier of you could think anything else you took your hand and held the side of her face. pulling her closer to you, you partly covor her lips with yours. she immediately understands and starts kissing back. unfortunaitley you have to eventually pull away for some air.

“ian!” you yell hopping off her bed.

“was mickey right?” ian responds watching as you joyfully walk out of her room.

“the only time he ever will be right!” you smile

“you wont be saying that when you ask me to help you kill someone.” 

you hear mandy come up behind you, the sound of a lighter being heard then a faint sizzle. “seriously mick?” 

“i knew it was way to quite for something to not be happening.”

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform without credit 

another a/n- yes you can be 🌞 anon (i have an anon list so you can see what is and isnt taken.)

[1eos]

All these anons are weird and corny so here’s an actual query, I have the hag line cap stellium and am Saturn dominant, nd everything online basically says Saturn dominant ppl are born 2 suffer/lvl grind thru life nd I was wondering if u have a less…depressing take on it lol. tbh I don’t even find a lot of trustworthy takes on stelliums and/or planet dominance online so idk if it’s even something to stress abt but I feel like Saturn has been kicking my ass my whole life n I need positivity rn;;;

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON~!!!!!!!! literally i haaaaaaaaate the way ppl talk abt saturn its not that depressing. basically saturn dominant ppl are gonna age backwards nd thrive the older they get nd the more uhhhh life experience they acquire? so a lot of Saturn children are super serious but once they bloom into adulthood they will ironically then start to indulge in what makes them happy! saturn isn't actively trying to destroy you or make u suffer she's just trying to get you to change how you're looking at things. LITERALLY just this year i had a major saturian breakthrough nd if you ever have the chance u should read thru liz greene's saturn: a new look on an old devil bc it paints saturn differently. like a lot of the times when we get blocked by life we get frustrated nd can't see that there's something better for us. but here are some of my fave excerpts i think can help u!

but as a saturn dom i think its IMPERITIVE that you

-take life at your own pace bc the ‘live ur best life in your early 20s’ isn’t neccessarily for you. literally you will Never Peak it just keeps getting better.

-start treating yourself softer. you don’t HAVE to hold the whole world on your shoulders alone. its ok to rely on ppl. its ok to take breaks

-find the sweet spot between ‘some suffering in life is bc of things i cannot control nd has no bearing on me’ and ‘sometimes the growth i need will come out of an uncomfortable circumstance’ the point isn’t to identify with our pain but rather to….learn from it. accept it nd heal from it nd become someone that’s wiser from experience but softer from compassion. which i think is another great thing abt saturnesque ppl. like y’all know how to be firm nd get shit done but still with such a competent compassion 🥺 im sorry this ask is so long anyways but to explain my point my mom is a cap moon nd i always wondered if she didnt like our dog much bc she doesnt really pet her but i found out my mom went out of her way to boil dog treats so they’d be soft for my elderly dog to eat nd i think that sums up cap/saturn energy. a practical but not always seen care

-oh and possibly most importantly. do some soul searching nd ask yourself if what you’re struggling for is what you REALLY want in life. nd then ask if you TRULY believe that you deserve it. bc in my experience the times where saturn pushed against me the hardest were times were i was fighting for something i THOUGHT i wanted but i really didn’t. if you’re unaware of something in yourself saturn will beat u over the head until u get it but the process doesn’t have to be miserable you know? the journey of self discovery should be, in the end of the day, full of levity bc it’s a step closer to the idealized self you’re working for.

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts abt saturn nd ik what its like to have her beat the snot out of u i hope this help pls don’t hesitate for more excerpts, venting, etc i live for this

[radioactivetirade]

ok does anyone else have this problem

like k so i fully use she/they pronouns and have done the introspection and shit and definitely feel that my gender identity extends beyond the binary even if i do identofy more with femininity conceptually than masculinity, and thats like.. all it rly takes to b non binary from what i cn gather

and yet whenever im filling out a form or survey, i feel like a liar if i dont click "woman"

like idk is that just my brain still unlearning the years of conditioning and living purely as a cis woman ? bc then i get into this weird ass imposter syndrome where my brain tells me like "damn u wanna b different so bad huh" when after thinking about it a lot and over a pretty long time i literally felt more at home in my own skin thinking of it as just. a persons body and being , instead of specifically a womans body and being

like my lived experience is still almost entirely as a woman since thats largely how i prefer to present, i like dresses and makeup and wearing like slutty stuff sometimes , and i am entirely comfortable within my own body insofar as the biologically female attributes so idk if thats messing me up ??

idk i feel like my gender journey was weird and drawn out and finally settling into identifying as "she/they" and growing out my body hair and having short hair felt like slipping deeper n deeper into a nice warm bubble bath at every stage so at this point i think im just gaslighting myself and my brain is just having trouble adjusting he way i think about myself in terms of gender after identifying in a different way for so long

i also think part of it could be that subconcious desire to just. not stand out. and i mean, i firmly believe that you should life as much as your authentic self as is possible, but im also the only (out) non binary person at work , and i cn see and hear and feel the way ppl treat me just sliiightly different at work bc of it sometimes. and im always happy to help educate ppl who have questions and whatnot, but mostly i just want to b left alone. which unfortunately becomes less and less likely the more and more you "other" yourself. like im the youngest by more thn 5 years at work, only person with an alt personal style, only person who openly identifies outside the gender binary, one of only 2 ppl (out of like 26 ppl) openly lgbtq+, and of course i gotta have harsh political opinions and so to some ppl at work i feel like im almost enterainment?? i just wanna exist, but society isnt in a place where it cn let ppl who deviate from the percieved 'norm' exist in any kind of peace. so i think part of me is tryna subconsiously get away from that ?

idk. i simply... dk

[dervampireprince]

Dumbification is ALWAYS good shit, absolutely 💯 p l e a se

For Pup vs kitten - this is IN GENERAL bc every does things differently in their dynamics n play n stuff but; pups tend to be more playful like, well, a puppy, and kitten tends to be a lil more aloof for lack of better term?? Like actual kittens. Theyre still playful tho, just not in the full on rambunctious like a pup mosh would be necessarily. Think more dainty in a sense??? My brain is kinda in speepy mode I hope words makes sense :V

There's lots of pet play websites and lil docu-videos out there! Def worth looking some up and reading/watching it. Just like, google "pup vs kitten play" or "pup play basics" "kitten play basics" stuff like that to get ideas of what ppl commonly like to do in them mayhaps?

And doing whatever ur comfy w and know how to do, style-wise, makes 110% sense yo - if u wanted to expand there's groups on hypno stuff on fet if u go on there at all, they'd probs be a good place to ask for tips on writing hypno stuff. There's also books in existence on hypnofet writing n play n all that - If I can remember titles / find free copies I'll yeet em ur way if u want? (I also wanna read em so ya)

~ MytheriousBoi

okay so maybe i like.. i know i say i'm into 'light/soft pet play' but maybe what i'm into no one actually would class as pet play.

because okay what i like and am comfortable with? being called a puppy, going non-verbal, collars and leashes, ears and tails including tail plugs, getting to just lay down and be pet

what i'm not okay with in any way? mittens or any kind of restrains or anything that would restrict movement, hoods or headgear, bdsm, actually like.. drinking from a bowl or any like deeper animal behaviour or actions, being 'trained' or punished or threat of punishment

but my mannerisms? i... okay so like i know it's own own stupid heteronormative existence as a species that sees dogs as male/masculine and cats as female/feminine, but puppy feels gender affirming because it's typically seen as the more masc option. while i know that my mannerisms are much more 'kitten' i suppose. i just didn't think it mattered cos like idk.. i know pet play is based on stereotypes we associate with animals but like there is no rule that all actual dogs all act one way. i guess the feeling i sometimes get from how people describe things is that kittens tend to be more bratty? and i'm very much not a brat. but i'm also not into like.. idk.. pet play that involves like.. i don't know how to describe it. like i didn't even know 'doing tricks' was a thing but uh no wouldn't want to do that and i'm not.. idk i'm not very energetic.. i'm definitely not rambunctious, i used to think about 'kitten' stuff for a while because i was like well i'm not very stereotypically masculine so i guess kitten works because it fits my personality more but at the same time was worried the entire time that it would feel like misgendering in a way. idk puppy makes me feel like a boy. but the way i act probably isn't very good or fitting for a puppy then. but then i say 'light pet play' for a reason because you look up puppy play and nono i'm not into the hoods or suits. i can't really cope well with looking up pet play stuff without stumbling into some bdsm pet training stuff that just .. i can't handle looking at. and there wouldn't be any need to because i wouldn't misbehave, someone wouldn't need to train me, if anything the worry with me as a sub should be that i'm going along with everything even things i don't want because i'm too afraid of 'being bad'

i don't know what 'fet' is. idk about watching videos i'm actually uh... not super comfortable watching live action video p*rn? that feels weird to admit. i don't think there'd be a place for me within any pet play community.

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[freakygirlie]

Walker- 1x04 ~spoilers~

I know i’ve said this a dozen times...but Walker just keeps getting better and better and better! With every. single. episode. I loved everything about this episode so much and again! Jared live-tweeting it was the best!!! I watched this episode at 3 am lats night again help.

~spoilers~ last warning!!!

OK SO CRDIREZ BEAUTY EPISODE!!! YES! I loved loved loved loved the development of their friendship in this episode SO MUCH! 

First scene Cordirez and them badass rangers catching bad guys together YES!!! Walker trying to find out Micki’s middle name is so cute pls. 

I really enjoyed the case they worked here as well. It was both deep and emotional and that twist! YEPPPP SIGN ME UP.

THE BAR SCENE WITH WALKER AND MICKI. AGAIN THEIR FRIENDSHIP! The episode title fit so well here and I’m glad Micki and Walker have really reached a good understanding on a friend and partner level. THEY\RE THE CUTEST PLEASE I LOVE THEM. 

‘‘walker where’s my drink’‘ ok every word micki and cordell exchanged with each other was the best??? 

WALKER AND HIS KIDS AND BROTHER UNPACKING TOGETHER!!! I asolutely adore their relatioship. AUGUST IN THAT BLUE HAIR AND SUNGLASSES DHJHHF AUGUST I FUCKING LOVE YOU CAN I ADOPT YOU.

I really adored the tiny exchange between Stella and Walker. Speaks volumes of how much they’ve progressed since the pilot. Walker and Stella’s dynamic I ADORE so seeing them at really good terms is just beautiful.

Annnddd now August is being the rebellious kid. 

I’m glad they brought up Belle’s case here as well bc i thought they’d completely overshadowed it. STELLA AND BELLE ARE SO CUTE! I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THEM

OK NOW IK I SHIP CORDIREZ TOO BUT I SHIP TRICKI TOO. GOD.

They are so so so CUTE WITH EACH OTHER AND TREY IS JUST THE BEST I LOVE HIMMMM. 

Micki is such an epic artist??? HOLY SHIT GIRL HOW MUCH TALENT DO YOU HAVE HIDDEN IN THERE.

Micki and Walker working the case ‘off the books’! YES PARTNERS IN CRIME. or well soving crime. i didn’t like monty shaw too much anyways...idk bad vibes. WALKER DEFENDING MICKI AND SAYING SHE CAN FEND FOR HERSELF. I COMBUSTED.

THE CORPSE LADY WAS THE SAME ONE FROM SUPERNATURAL’S NIGHTMARE 1X14. HOLY SHIT.

*sigh* The Harlan Family. Classic Rich People.

‘‘can we keep this one off the books’‘ ‘‘OFF THE BOOKS???’‘ ‘‘are you kidding me off the books is my middle name. Just kidding it’s Beauregard what’s yours’‘ HHAHAH NICE TRY WALKER I LAUGHED SO HARD THEY’RE ADORABLE.

Cordell Beauregard Walker- such a fucking handful!

THE INTERROGATION SCENE. WHEN THAT GIRL WINKED AT WALKER AND HE JUST FLINCHED AND TURNED AROUND LMAO. WALKER WHAT HAVENT U HAD PPL HIT ON U BEFORE.

‘‘You got it ranger rick!’‘ PLSJJCDDFJFD. ‘‘that was so satisfying’‘ same micki same.

‘MICHELLE FLORIANA’‘ WOW??? I LOVE IT.

ALSO MUSKRAT! ADORABLE SO ADORABLE I WANT CORDELL TO CALL MICKI MUSKRAT ALL THE DAMN TIME.

‘‘on a scale from micki to muskrat where am i’‘ ‘‘floriana’‘ THAT LOOK THO.  HSHSHSHS DONT WORRY WALKER YOU’LL GET THERE.

-I love how this show is really taking the time to address the difficulties someone like Micki- A Female Latina would go through- the sexism, blatant disrespect and disregard. Micki’s character is also something that’s very well written and acted(Lindsey ily) and portrayed extremely well. One of my favorite things about Walker is how he really trusts Micki, views her as an equal, and wants to earn her trust, not demand it. It’s perfect(cordirez breakdown time). Micki is also slowly letting her fences down around him and it’s a huge and very delightful to see step. I love and adore their friendship and chemistry so much. 

MICKI SPEAKING IN SPANISH IS AN OFFICIAL TURN ON FOR ME BYE.

ALL OF THEM SOLVING THE CASE TOGETHER!!! NOT JUST CORDIREZ BUT TREY TOO! WALKER AND TREY MEETING TOGETHER WHEN.

Trey is such an amazing boyfriend truly! THE TOWEL ON HIS SHOULDERS DJSFDJFD AND AH THE COMIC MICKI DREW??/ ADORABLE. Also love how encouraging and supportive Trey is. The men in this show are the best.

LIAM AND WALKER SCENE. I love their dynamic too and i wanna see moreee. Also more micki and liam scenes yes please.

‘‘thanks brother very supportive’‘ i sobbed when he called him brother. i just. *screams*

Ok so Abby and Bonham really had a bad falling out huh. Abby was in an affair with someone who still misses her??? Damn, can’t wait to see how this one progresses. ALSO WALKER FINDING THAT LETTER FROM GARY TO ABBY IN THE BASEMENT I FREAKEDDD,

THE ADDRESS. ON THE LETTER. IS THE SAME. AS THE LOCATION. OF JENSEN’S BREWERY. THE SAME BREWERY. WHO’S FIRST KEG OF BEER. WAS GIVEN TO JARED. BY JENSEN. ON HIS BIRTHDAY. HELP. HELP. HELP. NOT ME HAVING A J2 BREAKDOWN IN THE MIDST OF A WALKER EP AT 5 AM IN THE MORNING.

Aight so August and Ruby is a biG NO OK. Like idk idk idk just idk.

WALKER HAD AN AFFAIR(after emily so ok but still) WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHILE UNDERCOVER??? WAS IT JUST UNDERCOVER OR REAL??? I NEED ANSWERS STAT.

THE PHONE THAT WALKER HAD. ONE OF THE CONTACTS WAS WINCHESTER AUTO. W I N C H E S T E R  A U T O. Jensen coming to the show owning this shop and Walker going to him to get his car fixed when Jared Padalecki.

MICKI AND CORDELL(AND TREY!) SOLVING THE CASE TOGETHER!!!

‘‘micki gives a play by play of the security footage’‘ ‘‘we’re watching the same thing micki’‘ *bitchface* PLS I LOVE THEM.

Holy shit Mrs. Harlan having an affair with Monty??? ENZO BEING BOB’S SON??? HOT DAMN THE CASE CONTINUES. Again. LOVE THE WORK/FAMILY BALANCE.

OK OK SO THE SCENE IN WHICH MICKI AND WALKER CONFRONT SHAW AND THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER BEFORE MICKI GETS IN THE CAR WITH SHAW WHEN THE MUSIC STARTS PLAYING!!! YES. YES. MY SOULFOOD.

I loved the way they worked it out. Phonecall, recording everything, THEM PARTNERING AND WORKING IT OUT SO BEAUTIFULLY I NEED SO MANY MORE CORDIREZ CENTRIC EPS YALL DONT EVEN KNOW.

‘‘walker! bulldog it!!’‘ HSHJDSHDSJ YES.

PLS I SCREAMED WHEN SHAW PULLED THE GUN ON MICKI.

BUT SHE IS SUCH A FUCKING QUEEN BADASS I LOVE HER.

Success!!!! The Micki and Walker and Larry scene at the end was so cute! I like how they’re actually invested in their jobs and want to do good it’s so heartwarming.

WALKER CALLING TREY TO FIND OUT MICKI’S FAV THINGS!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Also I genuinely love that Trey wasn’t weirded out by it or jealous or anything.  Can’t wait to see them interact I NEED IT!.

‘‘thanks for believing in me’‘ ‘‘i didnt. i trusted you.’’ HELP STOP MY FEELS.

‘‘thanks beau’‘ don’t mention it flor’‘ I DIED I DIED I DIED. MICKI AND WALKER I LOVE YOU. JKSJD MICKI WARMING UP TO THE MIDDLE NAME. THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST.

That last scene with Walker and his mom was so touching. Walker’s relationship with his parents is so sweet. His mom hugging him and comforting him when Walker said he missed emily so much *cries* I just wanna hold him please. 

August being worried for his father’s happiness I JUST. YOU SWEET BOY. I really think messaging Twyla was a baaaaddd move though.

WALKER AND AUGUST SELFIE. The way Walker so easily just picked his son and brought him to him, made him family photographer and that scene. THE BEST. 

I genuinely don’t think anything happened between Twyla and Walker. But we’ll have to see.

oKAY SO. Captain James??? It’s just an on and off thing. Do I trust him? Do i don’t? Why did he take those surveillance vids out??? I trust Liam with it and i’m glad he’s looking into it and all. Hopefully it doesn’t backfire badly. I have a very bad feeling that James had something to do with Emily’s death.

THAT STELLA AND BELLE INTERACTION. SO CUTE. Stella giving that jar of jame to try and make up and Belle being all cute and funny I love them. For a sec i was so scared Belle might yell at her but I’m very happy to see that they’re going strong despite all the circumstances- Belle’s parent’s deportation.

ALSO TREVOR IS SO HOT??? I like him and Stella they’re cute. Stella so obviously has a huge crush on him and they ride horses so well together. HHAHAHAH THAT DANCE STELLA DID WHEN HE FOLLOWED HER ON INSTA. SO RELATABLE.

The last Tricki scene mY HEART. ‘’you wanted a hero so you drew one. then you became one’’ Micki is going to be such an inspiration I love her. And the way they interacted, Trey getting a job!!! And Micki’s excitement, THEIR HUG!!! ‘’hugging is one of my superpowers’’ TREY BARNETT I LOVE YOU.

THAT LAST SCENE WHY LEAVE IT LIKE THIS. WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY DOES WALKER OR DUKE APPARENTLY HAVE TO GO BACK.

Anyways! As you can see the entire episode was so enjoyable and I loved it. The best part of this was definitely the Cordirez friendship development and i cannot wait to see where it goes from here!

Speculation/Thoughts for Episode 5:- So it’s for sure that Walker is going back undercover as Duke who’s a baseball...person? Idk he was wearing a baseball hat so :) Walker’s past is now very much mixed in with his present and I AM SCARED. What he’s doing is yet to be revealed but Tywla is coming back and that will just. mess. things. up. The scene in which Walker is yelling at August GOD SO NOT READY FOR THAT. It feels like him and his kids might go back to how they were before. I really don’t want that to happen. Also why am I expecting a major cliffhanger. 

HEY BUT THERE’S SHIRTLESS WALKER AND! MICKI RIDING THAT MECHANICAL HORSE IN A BAR OR SMTH AND MORE INSIGHT INTO WHAT TREY IS DOING SO IM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

And it’s going on hiatus. Idk how to deal with that. :(