#my heart hurts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fallinallincurls · 1 day ago

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NOOO my heart omg i hope they make it through this better than ever, i cannot handle the angst

So Tragic and Rare

"It's Not Your Fault" (pt. 16)

a/n: hello! sorry for the slight delay but I will let you all know that this is another double drop day! there will be a few of these now (simply because i want to complete this series by December). so here is the next installment!

word count: 6.3k warnings: smut! [cocky possessive Andrei, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected penetration, thigh fucking] and angst, which i apologize for in advance previous part 🧡 next part masterlist

There was absolutely no physical reason for Andrei to be white-knuckling the steering wheel. He knew this.

The roads were decent: April had warmed enough to melt any lingering snow off the asphalt and the skies were a little overcast but the forecast stated only a small chance of precipitation. And although both the road he was on and the rental car he was driving were unfamiliar, it was nothing that he couldn’t handle.

There was no physical reason for him to be clinging onto the steering wheel like his life depended on it. But when the loud voice of the Massachusetts sports radio broadcaster filters through the speakers, Andrei is cruelly reminded why his body was wound so tight.

“With their win last night, the Boston Bruins are ready to face the Carolina Hurricanes in the first round of the playoffs. Brooks, how do you feel about their chances against the number one team in the East?”

“Listen, it’s been a tough road for the Bruins. But something should be said about them even making it to the playoffs as a wildcard team – no one expected that at the beginning of this year. But in order to hold their own against a team like Carolina, The Bruins are going to have to step up their game, particularly their defensive game, Cotton. The Hurricanes have been firing on all cylinders since the start of the season: multiple players with 60 points, strong forechecking, and a lethal powerplay. Boston needs to find a way to stunt their offensive momentum and give Jeremy Swayman some support.”

“Agree completely. Swayman has been strong between the pipes all season and I don’t see that faltering now. He’s got something to prove after that contract signing and last years playoffs. Plus, we might even see another level to his play when the first round comes to Boston for Game 3, considering that there has been a rumor that rockstar Keely Halloran will be in the audience.”

The mention of Keely being in TD Garden, watching him play, would normally make Andrei’s heart skip a beat. But now, it just makes his fingers tighten even more – especially since it was mentioned in the same breath of someone who was not him.

“Oh, yeah, he’ll definitely be looking to impress her,” the co-host laughs, his needling words soaked with innuendo pricking at Andrei’s ears.

With a sharp jab of his finger, he silences the radio and returns his focus to the road.

He knew this was just a side-effect of being with Keely. She was a high-caliber celebrity. Everyone wanted to know about her and her life, including her relationship status. And when that information wasn’t freely given, people started rumors.

He also knew it wasn’t Keely’s fault that the tabloids took a hold of the concept of her and the goaltender of her hometown hockey team and ran – and he did mean ran – with it. But the constant headlines, mentions, and even the Bruins media themselves using the rumor for their own gain, it started getting to him.

Andrei was the one with Keely’s number in his phone. Andrei was the one who had seen the inside of her New York recording studio. Andrei knew the address of her Beacon Hill brownstone. He was the one that chose to rent a car shortly after the conclusion of the Carolina v. Montreal afternoon game and was now driving down to Boston to see her.

Him – not Jeremy Swayman.

Highway 89 stretched out in front of him; a long dark trail leading him to Keely. Andrei tries to keep his mind clear, thinking only about the next turn, the correct exit, trying to let the voice of his GPS be the only voice in his head. But while he could silence the radio, there was no silencing the knowledge that no matter what happened, people would still talk. And there was next to nothing he could do about it.

Except…

Him and Keely could go public with their relationship.

They had been seeing each other for around three months – if you count the All-Star game. That was plenty of time, right? And imagine what news it would be if she showed up to the Boston playoff game in red and white instead of black and gold.

That was the solution. That would make all this noise stop.

Andrei smirks to himself, his energy shifted to a new goal. All he had to do was get Keely onboard. He’s sure she would be fine with it. It was clear that she liked him and he liked her back. What could go wrong?

They would show the world that she belonged to him.

Andrei drives the last few miles, taking the exit to Boston and weaving through the city’s myriad of one-way streets. He eventually turns down the alley behind Keely’s brownstone, parking the car and walking along the ivy-covered fence towards the entrance to her garden. He stops at the wooden door and fishes his phone out from his pocket.

[Andrei] Are you home? [Keely] Yeah. Why? [Andrei] Just couldn’t stop thinking about you. Had to see you. [Keely] What? [Andrei] Back gate.

That text message is the only explanation he gives before returning his phone to his pocket, his eyes moving to look up at the illuminated windows of her place. He sees a curtain move, a flash of her silhouette before its gone and Andrei waits, patiently, his ears trained for any sound.

Eventually, he hears her backdoor creak open, the soft yet quick padding of her footsteps over the cobblestones, before the sound of her unlocking the garden door hits his ears. He stands still, watching the door creak open before her eyes connect to his.

Andrei can’t stop the grin that tugs at his lips at the sight of her joyful bewilderment.

Keely doesn’t say anything, just huffs out a surprised laugh as she pushes the door open further, allowing Andrei to slip inside. He doesn’t wait an instant longer before cupping her face in his hands and pulling her lips to his in a passionate kiss. He can feel body go lax in his hold, enjoying the sensation of her smile against his lips.

Andrei doesn’t stop kissing her, tugging her body even closer to his, the kisses becoming desperate. Seeing her face during a video call, hearing her voice through his phone speakers was nothing compared to being in her presence. They had only been able to meet up a few times since New York and it was never enough for Andrei. He always wanted more of her.

His lips trail down to press along her jawline, following the slope of it down her neck. His hands tighten around her when he hears a soft moan leave her lips, her hands twisting in the fabric of his dress shirt.

“Wait, Andrei,” Keely says, her voice a breathless sigh. “I have to make sure the gate locked.”

With a soft groan and no shortage of willpower, Andrei manages to pull himself away from her skin, letting her leave the grasp of his arms as she darts behind him. He waits, listening to rattle of the wooden door on its hinges before she appears in front of him again, a grin on her face. Andrei says nothing, just holds out his hand to her which she happily takes, pulling him across her backyard and into her house.

As soon as they cross the threshold, the door firmly shut behind them, Andrei doesn’t hesitate before pulling her back into his arms, kissing her once again; a kiss that Keely returns tenfold.

“How are you here?” she asks, breaking away to stare up at him with those electric blue eyes. “Didn’t you have a game? Don’t you have to go back to Carolina?”

“It’s only a five-hour drive from Montreal. Plus, Coach gave us a day before playoffs,” Andrei explained. “I chose to see you. I’ll fly back tomorrow.”

“You drove from Canada after an early game for me?” Keely clarifies, her voice almost as bewildered as the expression painting her face.

“Like I said, I had to see you,” he whispers, leaning his face in closer as if to kiss her again. But he stops just centimeters from her lips, his breath fanning her cheekbones. “Had to see my girl.”

This time, it is Keely that moves the barest of millimeters to press their lips together, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. He willingly lets himself get pulled into her, breathing in the subtle scent of the perfume still lingering on her skin. Andrei walks forward, using his body to push Keely deeper into her house, desperate to get her horizontal on whatever surface was closest.

Their blind momentum is stopped by Keely’s back hitting the drywall, a huff of breath escaping them as they tear away. Andrei lifts his head, orienting himself to her brownstone. He had only managed visit here twice before but when he realizes they are on bottom floor, he relaxes. His eyes locate her bedroom door, still slightly ajar and through it, spies her patterned bedsheets, a grin appearing on his face.

Andrei turns his attention back to Keely who had clearly followed his gaze and looks up at him with a grin of her own, one eyebrow jumping in challenge.

He leans in to kiss her again, their tongues pressing together as his hands run down her body, coming to grip her thigh and pulling it up to wrap around his leg. With the adrenaline now running through his body, Andrei lifts her off the ground, Keely’s gasp of surprise is quickly swallowed as her other leg instinctively wraps around his hip, ankles locking together. Andrei’s hold on her body is firm, kissing her deeply once more before he tears his lips away, his eyes focusing back on his destination.

Keely doesn’t seem to mind the loss of his lips on her skin, content instead to pepper kisses against Andrei’s jawline, each press of her plush lips making his steps falter.

“Don’t you dare drop me, Svechnikov,” she mutters into the juncture of his neck, her breath warm against him.

Andrei refocuses, nudging her bedroom door open the rest of the way. He walks to the king-sized bed until his legs hit the soft plushness of the mattress. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips and without hesitation, his hold falls from Keely, gravity taking over as her body falls from his. Andrei can hear the soft gasp that is forced from her as her back hits the bedsheets, her eyes wide in shock.

“Whoops,” he says, standing over her, the word emphasized by a shrug of his shoulders. He watches as Keely’s face turns to reflect the mischief clearly displayed on his own.

In an instant, Andrei is taken off-guard as Keely – using the strength of her legs still wrapped around his hips – pulls him down to hover over her, her hands tangling into his hair. It’s easy for Andrei to recover, moving to kiss her again. One of his hands holds his weight as to not crush Keely while the other traces down her body, gently pulling her legs away from him.

When he is free of her grasp, he stands up, his body towering over her, and takes in the sight before him.

She is beautiful. It was something that he thought frequently but there was nothing as beautiful as the sight of her laying against the rumpled bedsheets, wearing nothing but a black lace bralette and grey sweats, looking up at him with a dark desire in her eyes.

A desire that was directed to him – no one else.

Andrei’s hands move, fingers slowly unbuttoning the white dress shirt. Each unfastening exposes more of his skin, Keely’s hungry gaze still fixed on him. Eventually, every button is undone and Andrei pulls the fabric off his body. He can’t deny the jolt of cocky confidence that runs through him when Keely’s eyes shamelessly rake down his frame, knowing that those early morning and long hours at the gym were not only for his career but for her.

“Like what you see?” he asks, his voice lowering an octave as Keely gazes up at him.

“I always like what I see when it comes to you,” she replies, her tone matching his. But Andrei can feel his heart soften at her words. It wasn’t just a compliment on his body – it was a compliment towards him. The entirety of him.

He doesn’t reply – doesn’t even really know what to say to her to convey every emotion swirling around in his mind. Instead, his hands just drop to his slacks, unfastening the belt buckle around his hips. He can see the spark brighten Keely’s eyes and before he can blink, she is lifting her body to sit upright, her hands knocking his away.

Her blue irises glance up at him, soft lips pressing against the cut of his abs and the half sigh, half groan that runs through him at the sensation echoes around the bedroom. He can feel her smile against his skin, her lips trailing downwards as her hands make quick work of the clasp and zipper of his slacks. Keely’s hand slides down, gently palming him through the material, releasing another groan from the back of Andrei’s throat, his head falling back.

“I suppose,” she says, elongating the word, causing Andrei’s gaze to return to her. “Since you drove all the way from Montreal for me, I should do something for you in return.”

“Like what?”

“Do you really have to ask?” she teases, her body slowly sliding off the bed to kneel in front of him, her hand lifting to touch him again. “That strung out already, baby?”

The power she wields over him is dangerous. Some part of Andrei knows that – knows that he would do anything to be with her and that willingness to throw everything away could easily spell doom for him. But when Keely’s soft hands twist in the waistband of his pants and underwear, tugging them down his legs, her eyes alighting at the sight of his cock, tall and proud, those concerns disappear.

And when she presses her soft lips against his silken skin, his mind empties completely.

How he got this lucky, he’ll never know. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world back in that Toronto hotel room. He felt even luckier when he entered her New York studio. But he wouldn’t deny that this, right here – Keely’s eyes looking up at him as she takes him into the wet cavern of her mouth – this felt like the luckiest moment of his life.

Andrei’s body reverts to complete auto-pilot, his hand tangling into Keely’s hair as she lowers her mouth more onto his cock, her tongue moving against him. It feels sinful, sensual, the way she moves in a steady rhythm against him, tracing and tasting what feels like every inch of him. The choked groans and sharp breaths that fall from his chest are entirely unfiltered, wanting to let her know exactly how she’s making him feel. He can’t stop the buck of his hips, thrusting into her mouth sharply once before his eyes dart down, a flash of concern running through him. But when his eyes land on her, she looks at him through her eyelashes, her hand reaching up to grasp the back of his thigh and pull him into her again.

This woman.

His hands tighten in her hair, slowly thrusting, finding a steady rhythm. Keely lets him take her, her gaze trained on him, her hand still resting on his thigh as he sets a perfect pace. He relishes in the sound of her muffled moans, the feeling of him prodding the back of her throat, the sight of her blue eyes pricking with tears – all for him.

“You look so fucking pretty like this,” Andrei mutters, a hand coming to brush away the wetness from her cheekbones. Keely’s only response is a whine, the vibrations of the noise sending a shudder down his spine, his head falling back.

“Fuck, babe, I need you,” he groans, pulling away from her, a glistening string of saliva still connecting them. He can hear her sigh, her tongue darting out to lick her lips, her own eyes sparkling with that mischievous glint that he had come to know and love.

Keely opens her mouth, no doubt some snarky comment about to fall from her lips. But Andrei doesn’t let her get a word in before he is lifting her off the carpet, spinning and pushing her down so her chest is pressed against the sheets, one of his large hands splayed against the small of her back, pinning her in place.

Andrei wastes no time hooking his fingers underneath her sweatpants, tugging down the plush material, exposing her smooth legs to him. But his eyes are attached to the sight of her core, the cotton of her panties stretched over her center, the dark wet patch enticing him even further. His fingers trace over the curve of her ass before dipping in between, his calloused skin pressing against her, causing more of her arousal to flood the fabric.

“Get this wet from sucking dick, sweetheart?” he questions, his fingers sliding lower to press against her clit, releasing a moan from her.

“Andrei, please,” she whimpers, her hips bucking back to meet his touch.

“Not yet,” he replies, removing his hands from her and tugging her underwear down to meet her sweats. This time, it’s his turn to kneel, his breath fanning her glistening core, the sensation causing her hips to wriggle. “Need to taste you.”

His hands grip the muscle of her ass, pulling and holding her open, putting her on display for him. Andrei pauses, taking in the sight of her wet and desperate for him. As if she knew the power she held, Andrei watches with wide eyes as a drop of her arousal drips from her core, hanging down like a silver drop of honey. Any sense of restraint evaporates from him as his tongue extends, collecting that nectar on his tastebuds before following the strand up to her molten core.

Keely’s moan is loud, bouncing off the walls of her bedroom as Andrei’s tongue works against her, dipping into her folds before stretching down to press against her clit. All his senses are just flooded with Keely – the smell of her, the taste of her. She encourages him by grinding her hips back to meet him and Andrei does not stop devouring her, his tongue never ceasing its movement, not until he feels her legs tremble beneath his hands.

It takes all sense of restraint to pull away from her, the whine that she releases another temptation for him to dive back in. But he resists, one of his hands moving back to grip her hip, the other dipping between his own legs to grasp the base of his cock. He leans forward, running the head of him against her soaked folds, Keely’s hips chasing him. Andrei tightens his hold on her, stopping her momentum.

“Andrei,” she whines again, her voice high and tight in the back of her throat.

“Tell me you want it,” comes the demand, practically growled as Andrei repeats his movement against her core. “Tell me you want me.”

“Please, Andrei. Please. I want you. I need you, please.”

If Andrei thought the sound of her moans were the most beautiful music he had heard, the sound of her pleading was a siren song, drawing him in. He was helpless to resist it even if he wanted to. But why would he ever want to deny her?

His hips press forward, sinking into her heat and the mutual moan they both release tells him that he feels just as good inside her as she does around him. Andrei continues to move until his hips are flush against her. There is a brief pause, a moment where the two of them just take in the sensation of Andrei fully seated inside her, his chest rising in heavy breaths as he watches Keely writhe against the bedsheets, her hands twisting the fabric in a death-grip.

“Move.”

The soft demand that falls from her lips sets off a fire inside him and Andrei slowly pulls back until he is almost entirely removed from her core before he snaps his hips forward.

“This what you wanted darling?” he asks, setting an almost brutal pace.

Keely’s only reply is another moan, her back arching as he feels her hips move to meet his thrusts.

“That’s right, fuck yourself back on it,” Andrei groans, his eyes trailing down the cut of her spine to watch her ass ripple with the force of his thrusts. “God, you look so good. Look so good like this. All mine.”

One of his hands trails around her waist, dipping lower to press against her clit. Andrei watches as her head turns, muffling her cries of pleasure into the plush duvet as he rubs slow circles against the bundle of nerves, a beautiful contrast to the animalistic pace.

Andrei’s eyes remain fixed on her body, his free hand running over the curve of her hip, her waist, up her spine before his fingers tangle in the straps of the lace still wrapped around her chest. He fists the material, sharply tugging, forcing her body upright meet his own. The heat of her pressed against the entirety of him causes him to moan, the scent of her perfume filling his senses as he wraps his arm around her, holding her in place as continues to thrust within her. The new position causes a gasp to fall from Keely’s lips, followed by a moan as her hands reach back, tangling into the hair at the base of his neck.

“Fuck, right there. Andrei.”

“Right there?” he questions, his voice a somewhat cruel taunt as he moves again. “Tell me. Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Want… want you,” she moans, her sentence choppy with the most gorgeous whimpers and whines.

“Want me to make you feel good?”

“Mmhmm,” Keely whines and Andrei can’t help the confidence he feels, knowing that he managed to make all grasp of language escape his awarded songwriter.

“I need you to say it. Tell me how I make you feel.”

“Good. So fucking good.”

“Who makes you feel like this?”

“You. Only you Andrei.”

“That’s right, sweetheart. Only me,” he growls, his fingers returning to her clit and rubbing tight circles around it, his touch sliding with an ease thanks to her slickness. “You’re all mine, aren’t you?”

“Andrei…”

“Say it. You’re mine. Say it.”

“I’m yours. All yours,” Keely moans and Andrei can feel her body trembling against him.

“Go on, darling. Show me. Show me that you’re all mine. Come for me.”

His quiet demand is all it takes for Keely to fall over that edge, her body stiffening as her cunt clenches around him, an almost silent moan falling from her mouth. Andrei groans in kind, loving the sensation of her fluttering around him as she comes down, a softer sigh running through her as her head lolls back onto his shoulder, her eyes closed in satisfaction. He moves gently, his length still hard within her and she whines, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Andrei,” she whimpers.

“I know,” comes his reply, pressing a soft kiss against her temple. “I know. Just stay still for me.”

Keely whines, her head gently nodding as Andrei holds her tight, her back still pressed against his chest, the sweat on their bodies slowly cooling. Andrei slips out of her core, a guttural groan emanating from his chest at the loss of her warmth around him.

“Press your legs together. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” Andrei whispers in her ear, his voice low and thick with the need for his own release. Keely nods, her feet moving in closer so her thighs touch, her hand still playing with the hair on the nape of his neck while the other rests on the strong arm wrapped around her waist.

Andrei groans, pressing forward to slide his rigid cock between the seam of her thighs, the arousal coating his length and her skin offering no resistance. He groans, his head dipping down to press his lips against her shoulder as his hips move again. The tightness of her thighs is nowhere near as pleasurable as her pussy but Andrei can’t bring himself to care. Not when he is so desperately close.

“Andrei,” Keely whispers, her breath fanning the shell of his ear. “Please. I need it. Need you to come.”

His hips buck, gliding against her skin a few more times before his body stiffens, his cock twitching as he meets his orgasm, the stickiness of his own cum joining the slickness between her thighs. The two of them stand there, tired and spent, their chests rising in unison as they each breathe deeply.

Andrei thickly swallows, his mind coming back to the present moment, his head lifting. He meets her blue eyes already staring at him, her eyelids heavy and a soft smile on her face. Andrei can’t stop leaning in to kiss her, helpless in the gravity of her. She kisses him back, her hand still tangled in the hair at the base of his neck. The two of them stay like that until Andrei pulls away, pressing a playful kiss onto the tip of her nose. Keely giggles in response, her gaze dropping from him as a grimace appears on her face.

“Bath?” Andrei questions.

“Yes, please.”

Andrei slowly pulls himself away from her, but only to give himself enough space to scoop her up into his arms again, another giggle falling from her lips. He wanders into the adjoining bathroom, the lit candle providing enough light for him to locate the large bathtub. Andrei gently lowers Keely down into the porcelain, running to flip on the light before returning to her and starting the water. He waits until it is at a comfortable temperature before stopping the drain, letting the water rise around her.

“Join me?” Keely asks once he stops the faucet, her eyes glancing up at him and her hands extended. Andrei’s only response is a smile as he takes her hand in his. She scoots forward, allowing him the space to climb in behind her, sinking down before pulling her back against him.

Hands moving, they gently clean the sweat and slick off their skin, the intoxicating fresh smell of Keely’s bodywash filling Andrei’s nostrils. They stay there – bodies pressed together, the gentle rise and fall of her chest matching his – until the water cools. After helping Keely out of the tub, wrapping her one of her plush towels, she disappears into the bedroom as Andrei drains the bath.

When he re-enters her room, he finds her already sitting on top of her bedsheets, an oversized t-shirt on her body. Her eyes track his movements as he finds the pile of his clothes at the edge of the bed.

“What brought this on?” Keely muses, her voice soft as she watches him untangle his boxers from the rumpled dress pants on her carpet.

“What?”

“This – this whole ‘you’re mine’ possessive talk? Not that I’m complaining.”

Andrei swallows thickly, the question he wanted to ask, the proposal he wanted to make, returning to his brain. He is unsure of what to say or at least, how to say it clearly so she understands. Instead, he pulls his boxers back up his legs, choosing to answer her question with one of his own.

“Are you really gonna go to the playoff games here?”

His brown eyes find her, watching the way she collapses back onto her pillows, her shoulder moving in a non-committal shrug.

“Probably. It’ll be fun, seeing my favorite team and my favorite player,” she replies. Her gaze darts back to him, that sparkling tease shining in her pupils.

“What’ll you wear?” he asks and he notices the way her eyebrows knit together at his continued questions.

“I’m not sure. Maybe my All-Star jersey. Why?”

“It’s yellow,” he dumbly states. Keely lightly laughs, a grin appearing on her face.

“Yes, Andrei, it is.”

“But…”

“What? Upset that I won’t be wearing red?” she questions, her tone still light.

“You’d look good in red,” he mutters, sitting down on the edge of the mattress, his eyes turning to stare at the carpet.

“I know,” Keely replies. There is a brief moment of silence before Andrei can feel her foot gently nudging at him, causing his gaze to return to her.

“What are you getting at, Andrei?”

Her stare is curious and earnest, the sight of it making him relax. He gently takes her foot, placing it in his lap, his hands absentmindedly trace patterns against her smooth skin as his gaze falls back to the carpet, trying to piece his thoughts together.

“It’s just… I like you.”

“Obviously,” Keely interrupts with another lighthearted giggle. Andrei eyes dart back to her.

“Keely, please,” he says, his voice firm and he can see her register the seriousness in his tone. Her body lifts upright, the leg not placed in his lap folding underneath her.

“I’m sorry. Go ahead.”

Andrei sighs, letting his eyes return to the space in front of him and the thoughts return to his head.

“I like you. And I’m pretty sure you like me. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now and… I was wondering… well, I guess – I guess I just want the world to know that.”

The declaration is less certain and succinct than he wanted it to be but he hopes the underlying question is clear enough. His brown eyes dart towards her, analyzing every micro-expression that crosses her face. It takes a minute but Andrei can see when his suggestion registers with her. And a flash of panic runs through him when he watches her body stiffen, the foot in his lap recoiling and curling back towards her. Keely’s legs move, knees coming up to her chest as her arms wrap around her shins.

“You… you want to go public?” she asks. Andrei can’t quite figure out the tone lacing her words so he presses on.

“Yeah. I figured that this would be a good time.”

“Before the playoffs would be a good time?” she clarifies, contextualizing his words as her eyebrows raise in question. The mention of the playoffs triggers the memories of the media surrounding him, the Bruins, and Keely, bringing the real focus of his ire to the forefront.

“I just want everyone to know that you’re with me and not with Jeremy Swayman.”

The last third of his sentence was more muttered under his breath than the rest. But Keely heard it all the same, her body unfolding as her spine straightens to stare him down.

“Is that what this is about? Tabloid rumors?”

This time Andrei can hear the sharpness painting the edges of her words and he realizes his reasoning was the cause.

“No!” he says, attempting to backtrack.

“Then why are we talking about Jeremy Swayman?”

“We’re not – ” he tries to explain but he can feel the anger radiating off of Keely and knows now that he said the wrong thing. But he also knows it was far too late to take back his words.

“Does it bother you? What people are writing?”

“God, yes. Yes Keely, it bothers me. I’m sick of constantly hearing about how you’re in love with someone who isn’t me. I hate it, I don’t want to hear it. We could stop it: let the world know that it’s me – in your bed, your phone, your heart.”

He can see and hear the heavy sigh that escapes Keely’s chest, her eyes wide as she stares at him, her head gently shaking in disbelief.

“They won’t stop, Andrei,” she says slowly, as if talking to a child. “You have to understand this, they never stop.”

“But they will,” he argues back, his own stubbornness blinding him. “Yeah, they’ll talk about us but, it’ll be – it’ll be the truth.”

“No, it won’t. Sure, yeah, some it maybe but they’ll never be entirely truthful. Breakup rumors every time I don’t attend a game. Engagement rumors the very next day. How I’m a distraction if your game falters, how I’m going to write a scathing song about you if you break my heart, how – considering our careers and the amount of time we can’t be together – how we’ll never be able to work.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t?” she questions, her voice sharpening and Andrei realizes that he once again has said the wrong thing. “This has been my life for the past 10 years. No matter what we do, you’ll still have to hear rumors that you don’t want to hear. Are you ready for that?”

“I – I’m – ”

“If you’re this upset about the papers talking about me with someone else, how will you be able to handle it when the attention – both good and bad – is focused entirely on you?”

“I just… I just want you,” he confesses, the words truthful and earnest and he watches as Keely’s body deflates.

“You can’t want me and not be ready for that,” she tells him, her words wavering but her voice clear. “It’s a part of my life, Andrei. It sucks – trust me, I know better than most how much it fucking sucks. But if you want to be with me, it’s just something you have to accept. Can you do that, Andrei?”

The silence weighs over them, Keely’s question hanging in the air, demanding an answer. An answer that Andrei isn’t sure that he can give.

“I – I don’t know,” he says, the words falling through his mouth in the same time as his shoulders fall with a sigh, his eyes returning to stare at his feet resting against her plush carpet.

He can hear her matching sigh and a small part of him knows, intrinsically, that she understands where he is coming from, what he is feeling. But he also knows he can’t erase his previous words from her mind. He can no longer lie to her and pretend like the tabloids and publicity doesn’t bother him.

Keely sighs again, the sound drawing his attention back to her. Her eyes are also trained at a distant point in the room and he hates that he can feel the distance stretching between them, a distance that had been shrinking in the past months but now reverted back to that unmanageable ocean.

“I think…” she begins, her shoulders lifting in a deep breath. “I think it might be best if we take a break.”

The words hit Andrei like a shotgun bullet, piercing through his chest.

“Keely – ” he tries to say but Keely ignores his plead, continuing on.

“You’re clearly tired of the secrecy needed to be with me but you also clearly aren’t ready for everything that going public entails.”

“Wait, Keely, I – ”

“Andrei. Please.”

Her blue eyes dart back towards him and he falters under her stare. If her prior words wounded him, the cool indifference in her eyes would’ve been the kill-shot. But instead, it was the glimmer of pain hidden beneath that mask of apathy that truly cut through his heart.

“I can’t do this with you,” Keely says, her words not as practiced as her last, the pain and truth coming through. “I can’t – I can’t twist myself into something I’m not for someone else’s comfort. I won’t do that again.”

He wants to say that he’d never ask her to do that for him. That he loved her for exactly who she was. But he can’t. Because, while her words may have been harsh, she was right. He wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready. Maybe this was for the best – some space to let them figure out if this is something they both truly wanted.

So, Andrei says nothing. He just hangs his head down, giving Keely a small nod in understanding. He feels her weight shift on the mattress, the firm boxspring sinking as she scoots closer to him. He doesn’t look up, not even when her arms wrap around him in an embrace that is laden with every heartbreaking emotion he can think of. His hand lifts to grasp her forearm, his thumb gently caressing her skin for a moment before she lets him go.

The weight of her disappears and Andrei listens to the sound of her walking out of the room, moments passing before a door down the hallway shuts.

He sighs, lifting himself up and slowly returning his gameday suit to his body. He checks to make sure his keys are still secure in his pockets before he leaves Keely’s bedroom. He is almost at the backdoor when the soft sound piano tapping out a melancholy tune catches his attention. His head turns, listening to the music wafting down the hallway.

The melody is unfamiliar but heartbreaking all the same. Andrei’s gaze returns to the glass door leading to the backyard, rain beading on the surface. He sighs before walking out into storm, feeling his shirt quickly becoming plastered to his skin, that haunting music still ringing in his ears. He pushes through the back gate, turning to make sure it securely locked behind him. It is only when he is back in the cold unfamiliar rental car does he allow his head to drop, letting his tears fall in time with the rain.

a/n deux: yes, it's a third act break-up. i apologize but listen, i did say dating a rockstar isn't easy. will this break be good for them or will it be permanent? guess you'll have to keep reading to find out!

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#fic rec #andrei svechnikov #so so good!!#please read this!!#my heart hurts #let them be happy!#can’t wait for more!#my lovely mutuals

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