#my writing isn't the greatest yet but I'm think I'm getting better!:)
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More Dottore and Fragile Reader voice lines, except it's your turn this time. A part two to this. Previous voice lines are here.
About Prime Dottore:
"Zandik. My one and only… words cannot express my tenderness and love toward him. I refuse to forget any moment I've spent with him. Not once has he given up on me, despite the times I’ve given up on myself. And he has always taken care of me, not once faltering in over four hundred years. I- I don’t know what to do sometimes when faced with that information. I wish I could be… less of a burden on him…”
About Omega:
"Omega, huh... he is the only segment where I always spend time with completely alone. See, he's not prone to sharing, just like Prime. I don't mind much, honestly, it's nice to get away from all of the noise and be with him. He always coaxes me to be more selfish too... is it a good or bad thing he's influencing me?"
About Alpha:
"Yes, the grumpy cutie I met all those years ago, the start of it all. He says that my presence is a hindrance and it only disrupts his work, but we both know that's false. Often, I like to sit by him as he writes his notes, pointing out all the errors caused by the atrocity of his handwriting... Sometimes, I feel bad using him as a reminder of the past."
About Beta:
"It always baffles me that Beta was once how Dottore acted. I mean, have you seen the difference between 'Mega and Beta? Anyway... he's always such a fun segment to hang around! Even when his assistants cower behind me in fear! Oh, and whenever he goes 'he-he-ho-ho', it always makes me giggle. Please don't tell him I did that impression of him though."
About Delta:
"Oh, Delta's... pretty mean. A really big meanie, if I do say so myself. He never laughs, never smiles, never entertains my shenanigans, always sees right through me... so rude. Huh? Don't worry about me, I'm allowed to talk about him like this. I still love him, after all."
About Zeta:
"Zeta's always so elusive! It was such a pain to track him down at first, he was always avoiding me. I thought he hated me... but once I got a hold of him, he is always so attentive to me! However, it greatly saddens me that he thinks he "failed" me... and yet he doesn't know how much it hurts me more that I've caused him to be like this."
About Zandy:
"Have you met my son? He's the sweetest little thing, isn't he? I remember how shy he was in the beginning, but he quickly grew to be such a dear. Always so excited and eager for attention. I can't help but wonder if Dottore's life could have been different if more people were kinder to him as a child."
About Pierro:
"I will always be indebted to him and Her Highness for taking me in. He is pretty scary to be around, but I feel sort of bad for him. I can't imagine how much responsibility he has... I once promised him I'd work for the Fatui once I'm better, but he didn't react much. Hmph, I'll show him how much I can boost Dottore's efficiency!"
About Capitano:
"The only thing I really know about him is that he's incredibly strong and well respected, at least from other people. The single time I met him, I also learned he was quite well liked by animals too, but it's hard to get any more information when he's so quiet..."
About Columbina:
"Bina is the best friend I've always wanted. I'm glad she's always there for me whenever things go bad. Although I can never predict what she's going to do or say, which is pretty strange, considering who I'm with, that makes her company all the more fun. Still, the amount of embarrassing situations she's tricked me into with Dottore... makes my head hurt."
About Arlecchino:
"I wish we could be closer, but I don't think it'll ever happen. I can't really blame her though, the relationship between her and Dottore is... not the greatest, for reasons I understand. I wonder what she thinks of me, the person who still stands by his side despite his sins?"
About Pulcinella:
"Oh... the little grandpa? I've always wondered how he's the fifth rank, but there's probably more to it than I know. Regardless, I didn't expect him to be so kind to me. I only see him once in a while, but every time he seems to know how I'm doing. And then, he proceeds to give me the best advice, exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, even when it has to do with Dottore. It's kind of scary..."
About Scaramouche:
"Ah yes... the Balladeer. He always wants to start up something with me whenever we cross paths, which is why my patience runs very thin around him. I hope the next time he goes into the Abyss, he gets stuck there."
About Wanderer:
"Who?"
About Sandrone:
"Her research sounds so cool! I've seen some of the things she can create, and it's completely fascinating. I too once had a love for machines back when I was a student. It's just a shame she never comes out of her lab... there are never any chances for me to talk with her. Well, I can always talk with Alpha and Beta about their research at least."
About La Signora:
"I've barely ever seen or spoken to her, but she has my respect. I heard what happened to her husband. If I ever lost Dottore, I'm not sure if I'd be able to go on... or at least be as half as strong as she is."
About Pantalone:
"Oh, Lone's one of my good friends! He always has such unique ideas for me to get back at Dottore, and listening to him talk about his theories quite reminds me of listening to Dottore. He's helped me a lot, dealing with this man. Still... as he does with everyone, I'm kept at arm's length. It doesn't bother me, but I wish I could help him in some way. But I know that'll never be possible."
About Childe:
"Despite being a Harbinger, he's a lot nicer than you'd think. Well, especially compared to the others in the Fatui. He's great at conversation, his family is the sweetest... and he always promises to spar with me once I'm no longer sick. Truly great company. Too bad Dottore's attitude toward him is... less than favorable."
About Furina:
"At first I hated her just like all the other Gods, but after learning the truth, I can't help but greatly respect her. To take on such a burden without having a single shoulder to lean on and succeed in the end... I think I've been through a lot of pain, but at least I've had Dottore and the others to ease it even just a bit. But she had no one, and I admire her will."
About Nahida:
"I try not to waste my time on things that upset me. It's not good for my health."
Sprint Start:
"No, no, I am not running at all. Look, if I get hurt and Dottore finds out it was your fault, you'll be the ones strapped to the table, not me. Hey... I wouldn't mind being in that position, actually."
Chat - Worry:
"I hope that one day he can make peace with himself."
Chat - Old Times:
"Sometimes I wish I was just a simple student again, having no worries other than my grades and pulling all-nighters with Dottore. Actually, that doesn't really sound relaxing, does it?"
Chat - Idling:
"If you're just going to stand here doing nothing, then I'm going to take a seat over there."
When it Snows:
"Would you be willing to distract Dottie so I can chuck a snowball at him? No? How boring."
When the Sun is Out:
"It's a perfect day to have a picnic and listen to him rant again."
In the Desert:
"... Omega, Beta, Delta, I don't care which one of you does it, get over here and make your hands completely ice cold before I faint."
Something to Share - Talent:
"If you ever need help writing something, you can ask me. I wrote some pretty good essays back in the day, you know. Dottore once said I should even write a book! I thought he was bullying me, but he was actually serious, for some reason. Maybe I should get Zandy to draw some pictures?"
Something to Share - Secret:
"Dottore actually has quite a sweet tooth. Well, this probably isn't much of a secret anymore because I accidentally spilled it to the agents, but it would do you good to keep this in mind."
Interesting Things - Foxttore:
"This little guy here? He'll do you no harm unless I say so, so don't worry. He was one of Dottie's failed experiments roaming the lab until he gifted the creature to me! These pufflings too, surprisingly they help me a lot more than you'd think. They're pretty strong, carrying all my things."
Favorite Pastimes - Meals:
"It's time to eat already? No need to worry about me, I'll just wait for a segment. See, it's best for both of us if I have company while I eat. My hands... aren't the most reliable."
Troubles:
"I am very happy that they have a good place to conduct all the research they want, but I wish they paid some more attention to me sometimes. Voicing this complaint over and over again, however, is too exhausting."
Amusement:
"Dottore's fan club never ceases to amuse me. I know every Harbinger has one but... it's completely hilarious. To go so far as creating a handbook about the two of us... well, I appreciate the dedication and the laughs, especially when I update Dottore on their activities. He may not care, but I support them!"
#smooches talks#dottore love notes <3#fragile reader <3#zandy bb <3#playable reader <3#dottore x reader#can we get more playable reader asks pls#im humbly begging my anons#im crazy for them#divider by cafekitsune
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I saw someone ask what "I hope this hurts" means beyond the obvious, and I started to respond only for it to turn into an essay... Because I don't feel like dumping something so long in some unsuspecting person's notifs, I'm just going to post it here instead.
I started writing this after playing the game, but ended up watching a playthrough because I couldn't remember exactly where "I hope this hurts" was repeated. I think I caught the only few times it was mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed something, so feel free to correct me on that or anything else I might have gotten wrong.
Spoilers for the full game and CWs for everything you would expect from discussing Mouthwashing apply.
Edited 10/16/2024 for clarity and some minor issues with formatting. I added sections in hopes of making it more readable, as well as a few more screenshots that I hope will support my points better. *Indicates where I made potentially significant additions to my original analysis.
Part One: Jimmy
Jimmy is someone who has a delicate ego. This means that he's very concerned with how he's perceived by those around him. We see this in how he responds to Curly and the news of the company's closure, which he takes it as a personal attack in spite of it very clearly having nothing to do with him on a personal level.
For people like Jimmy, a threat to one's image (whether it's a matter of their perception of themselves or, maybe worse, the perception others have of them) brings intense emotional pain. Even though it's clear that Curly meant no personal offense, and likely saw more good in Jimmy than was actually there, Jimmy sees this as a great threat to his own image, and thus identity.
To be clear, it's not just that Jimmy thinks Curly is looking down on him. It's also that Jimmy needs his role in the company to maintain his image, and he needs to eventually become captain. This is his ultimate goal because the respect and control that someone like Curly has, in Jimmy's mind, is tied to the title he possesses. And Jimmy wants that. He wants respect, he wants to be listened to, he wants power over others. (This is also why Swansea's final speech is so important, in relation to the belief that if one just reaches this next goal, they might feel a little more human, a little more in control, a little more fulfilled, but as Swansea shows us, that's just not the case. And it's true for Jimmy, too. Jimmy isn't magically fulfilled by obtaining the title of captain.)
But in the beginning, Jimmy has yet to realize that just getting the role of captain won't magically make him a man who is respected, or even a man who is truly in control. He sees no opportunities for himself on earth. The only option is to stay in this company and become a little lord of his own ship... and suddenly that's ripped out from under him. He will never reach the goal he's been chasing for all of this time.
Anya telling him about her pregnancy is the final push he needs to go over the edge.
Part Two: Captain
Returning to the initial reveal that the company is shutting down for a second, I think it's important to keep in mind a few things:
1. The importance of the title of captain in Jimmy's mind.
2. How this extends to his perception of Curly, him being the current captain.
3. Jimmy's self-centeredness preventing him from understanding the feelings and perceptions of those around him.
When Curly says what he does, Jimmy immediately jumps to the conclusion that Curly sees himself as above everyone else (and most importantly, as above Jimmy), to the point of considering them "dirt." I don't think Jimmy is just projecting his greatest fear (being seen as lesser) onto Curly. I think he's projecting his own perceptions.
He's placed all of this importance on the title of captain, and thus Curly. The captain is above Jimmy. Jimmy is beneath him, is lesser. And we know how Jimmy treats those he sees as lesser (first Anya, and then the rest of the crew once he's captain, *manipulating Daisuke into putting his life at risk because Daisuke, who is just an intern after all, just isn't important to Jimmy being an example).
I think this is a fair reading because Jimmy does something similar with Swansea when he insists that Swansea is keeping the last cryostasis pod for himself. I understand some might say that this is just Jimmy's attempt to manipulate Daisuke and Jimmy doesn't actually believe it, which is a fair interpretation, but I sincerely think he believes what he's saying in this instance. And I think that because Jimmy sees selfishness as common sense. It's what he would do were he in Swansea's position, and what makes him giving the pod to Curly significant.
Part Three: Anya
So, Jimmy is already hurt and panicking. He sees his chance at power and thus fulfillment slipping away. And then Anya tells him that she's pregnant.
Anya, who he has shown time and time again that he thinks little of.
Anya, who he clearly sees as beneath him.
Any mention of the pregnancy, no matter how gently it was worded, would immediately feel like a threat to him on multiple levels. And not only that, but a threat from someone lesser than him. His image, his status, his control, his power—it's already slipping from his fingertips. *It's happening right then, in that moment. It's not just a potential future where he's held accountable in a real way (maybe if Anya involved authorities, or if Jimmy was legally responsible for supporting a child once they returned to earth). It's happening now, because his image is crumbling.
For this reason, I believe I hope this hurts to be directed at anyone and everyone that he sees as "threatening" him.
Anya and Curly have made him hurt. He wants to make them hurt.
He doesn't care about Daisuke and Swansea. If anything, he's so caught up in himself and this contorted vision of reality, I wouldn't be shocked if he convinced himself in the moment that they, too, were looking down on him for some reason. (See again, "I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me." Obviously this is said in the midst of his spiral, after the crash, but I wouldn't doubt the paranoia was there before that moment.)
He wants to make them hurt as they've hurt him. He may also want to make himself hurt in order to vent out his emotional pain. If not, death may simply be the easiest way to escape pain and the threat the future holds in his mind.
*Part Four: Without the Guilt
In addition to all of this, I think crashing the ship (making them hurt) is his vision of what Curly has done or is doing to him. This is how he "leave(s) the dirt behind."
To understand this, I'm going to include the birthday conversation and the conversation between Jimmy and Curly about crashing the ship.
Jimmy: ... So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt. Curly: Jim... If I had known... Jimmy: I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life?" Jimmy: Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. Jimmy: And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Jimmy: Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. Jimmy: But you. Headed for bigger and better, right? Curly: I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape! That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor- Jimmy: We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean! Curly: That's not what I meant. Jimmy: It is what you meant. Jimmy: You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. Jimmy: Abandon the crew but remain the model captain.
To me, this is one of the most important and revealing sections of the game. Jimmy is not only projecting onto Curly, he's telling us exactly what he's going to go on to do (or attempt to do) when he becomes captain.
In addition to this, we see his manipulation on full display as he twists Curly's words and won't allow him even a moment to truly speak beyond a few lines he manages to get in between Jimmy's ranting.
That's not to mention we see the beginning of yet another pattern in Jimmy's behavior: getting a person to admit their weakness, then using it against them and/or using it to hurt them (he does this with Daisuke, for example, when he hears Daisuke's fears/desire for approval and proceeds to use it to get Daisuke in the vent). Here, Curly speaks about feeling trapped. Jimmy will soon trap him in a crashed ship just as much as he traps him in his own body, which Jimmy will proceed to drug. But I'll return to that.
Curly: Jim. I can fix this. Jimmy: What do you think will happen when we get back? Hm? Curly: We can figure all of this out. You and me. Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy: All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying. Jimmy: But, now... What do you think will happen now when we get back? Curly: We'll fix this together. Jimmy: Everything you and I worked for in our lives. Accomplishments, changes. Jimmy: None of it will matter. Curly: You've gotten through difficult situations before. This time won't be any different. Work through it, one day at a time. Jimmy: It's not just me, is it? Jimmy: You were supposed to be the one who had everything under control. You said so yourself. Jimmy: The ship, this crew, everything that happened here... Jimmy: This was your responsibility, Captain. Jimmy: That is what you'll be hearing the rest of your life. Take responsibility. Jimmy: Or this can all be remembered as a tragedy. Jimmy: Despite what must have been the best efforts of its acclaimed captain. Jimmy: The Tulpar crew was never found. Jimmy: No one survived to tell the tale. Take responsibility. Jimmy: You're standing at the top. Jimmy: Feet in cement. Jimmy: I get it now. Right? Curly: ... Curly: ... Right.
This is an important moment, because aside from the scene in which Jimmy is approaching Curly while he's on fire, it's the only other time that I can recall the game separating from their perspectives to allow us to see them both, standing together.
We see a flash of Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy begins to pull away. Another flash. He continues to draw back. Another. He turns towards the cockpit.
Jimmy sees through Curly. He sees Curly's worst where Curly sees only Jimmy's best, and he's more that willing to use that against Curly.
He sees a man who is not going to do what's hard. He sees a man who is going to try to "fix it" only in the most superficial sense. A man who confuses the appearance of cohesion and peace with the reality of it. Someone who sees the rocking of the boat as a manifestation of taking action against a wrong rather than the wrong itself.
In the end, it seems they're both ruled by appearances. And Jimmy will soon rip appearances in every sense from Curly's fingertips. He will make him hurt. He will get his revenge. He'll turn Curly into the villain, taking away his title, his respect, and his very face.
For daring to look down on him, Jimmy will turn Curly into dust.
But I think these words—I hope it hurts—come back to haunt him.
Part Five: The Eye as a Mirror
Like I said, I went back to try to find each time the phrase is used. There's the beginning, of course, but then there's the pregnancy sequence, for lack of a better name.
When the Polle monstrosity emerges from the giant uterus (?), we see these words:
In this sequence, we see a lot of different images and concepts connected: Anya's pregnancy and thus her sexual assault by Jimmy are tied to Polle and the company. The emergence of the Polle monster from the giant uterus (and the idea of the removal of the pregnancy) is tied to the mouthwash, as it's an act of "cleansing." This is all then tied to the phrase I hope this hurts.
Unless I missed something, these are the only two moments when the phrase is used: When Jimmy crashes the ship, and when he's experiencing this hallucination.
All clean! Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth, huh? Through wreckage! Through silence! Wash it away! All day fire fresh!
"Clean" is important immediately. "Leave the dirt behind you now that your boots are clean," Jimmy says. Because in this accusation is Jimmy's actual intentions himself. He wants to rise above others and clean himself from their filth. Now, he wants to clean himself of his sins.
I think "Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth" is mocking him. A direct challenge to the thought that he could ever truly be "cleaned," at least in the ways he's so desperately trying to go about it. *Not to mention how this connects to the mouthwash, as it might get that 99%, but there's always going to be 1% left.
"Through wreckage" obviously refers to the wrecking of the ship, but also of their lives. All by Jimmy. Though I wouldn't doubt in his mind it connects to the wreckage of consequences (ie. Anya's pregnancy resulting from Jimmy's actions).
"Through silence" I feel connects back to Jimmy's attempts to keep everything quiet, both literally and figuratively.
"Wash it away" also has a mocking edge, as if stressing the foolishness of Jimmy's attempts to treat these very serious events as if it's all just "dirt" he can wipe off.
Finally, we see "All day fire fresh!" This line stresses the connection to the mouthwash, of course. It also calls to mind the concept of cleansing by fire. Important considering Curly.
And after each, I hope it hurts. Jimmy's statement of pure, childish rage. His desperate desire to make others hurt as he hurts. To lash out, to get revenge. To have control until the very end.
This is also why Polle haunts him. Because he, as a man desperate for control, will always be under the thumb of the company even with that title of captain. That hurts him. And maybe the closest thing to ever recognizing the evil he's done to Anya is envisioning it as similar to the company's control, but even that feels like a mockery because he's so horrifically incapable of seeing her as a human being that she's been reduced to her womb. That's what he's really afraid of, in the end, and the fear feels like something else is in control. It makes the organ feel giant, larger than him, capable of hurting him.
When I was watching the playthrough, I thought that there was going to be four or five "I hope it hurts." I thought it would represent each person Jimmy hurts, or all of them, because he hurts himself too. When the sixth came, I thought so much for that theory. But then, I thought about it and there's the fetus. That makes six.
So, I hope this hurts means "I want to hurt you the way I've been hurt. The way you've hurt me." It's Jimmy saying that if his life has been wrecked, he'll wreck yours. It's Jimmy saying he'll shut you up. It's Jimmy saying he'll burn everything down if it means he can maintain control, or even just the illusion of it.
Part Six: Pain
But I think there's another side to this. Like some of the other lines I said feel are mocking him, I think I hope this hurts turns against Jimmy, especially here. And more than that, pain (and by extension, pain medication) plays a massive role in the game, after all. So I hope this hurts feels as if it haunts every moment where it's involved.
Jimmy says this the first time he gives Curly his pills. Pain is how we know we're still living.
The pills are clearly connected to death from the start. If "pain is how we know we're still living" then pain is connected to life and freedom from it is connected to death. That's saying nothing of Anya's use of the pills to kill herself. I think this connects back to the crash, as well. If life is pain, death is an escape from it.
I think it's also significant that the act of swallowing the pain pills is in and of itself painful.
The pills that are meant to take the pain away become a method of torturing Curly. It's a way to make him hurt, and to exert control over him. Even something that should take away his suffering is just an extension of it.
At one point, Jimmy says "Once these are out, we'll have nothing to keep him quiet." In this sense, the pain pills are meant to suppress, not to heal (Through silence!). They're supposed to shut Curly up and keep him from expressing his anguish in the only way he has left (the noises that disturb Jimmy's sleep).
Others have compared this, or Curly's state, to how Anya has been forced to bottle up her own suffering. Jimmy is keeping them both quiet, or at least attempting to. The ultimate form of keeping them quiet would be to, of course, kill them all.
The pills can also be seen as an attempt to hide or conceal the hurt that has been caused rather than to actually heal. In this way, they're like the mouthwash: something that's not really helping, just covering up an issue (and thus making it worse). And the mouthwash represents Jimmy's attempts to "fix" things. He doesn't actually want to make things right, because that would mean taking accountability. He wants to protect his own ego by "fixing" things in a mimicry of Curly "fixing" things in which he wants to create a sense of "rightness" without actually adressing what (or who) has been wronged. Jimmy can't stand to look at himself, because he would see that he really is constructed of his worst moments, or at least, that's what I suspect he would see.
Conclusion
Considering all of this, I hope this hurts can then become a mantra about living in spite of everything. I hope this hurts means "I hope I'm alive in the end. I hope we're all alive in the end." It could mean "I hope I'm allowed to hurt, because I am hurt, and the harm that's been done to me must be seen rather than suppressed and hidden." It could mean "You can't keep me quiet. You can't ignore or hide what you've done to me."
Maybe most of all, I think it means I hope you reap what you sow. When it's turned back on Jimmy, when it's almost mocking or haunting him, it becomes in part about his emotional weakness. About his inability to look at himself and his reality without experiencing the pain of humiliation. I don't think he ever experiences half of the pain he's inflicted on those around him. Still, he has to deal with the fact that his attempt to hurt others instead of facing himself has caused him more pain rather than taken it away as he'd hoped.
And I think that's why he suddenly decides to make Curly a "hero" instead of a "villain." There's a tipping point where he's pushed into a corner. The pain is too much. He hasn't confronted his own actions in any real way, but he's done enough that he can't stand to save himself anymore. It hurts too badly to live with what he's done. It sends him into another stage of fantasy/delusion. The only thing left to do is what he intended to from the start: kill himself to escape and damn Curly to a slow death. Because to go on living in spite of the pain would be the right thing to do, in a sense. To live in the hell of his own creation. To face what he's done. But instead, he'll entrust those heroics to Curly.
This feels barely coherent in the end, so I might come back in a few days and say wow what the fuck was I talking about? But hopefully there's something here that captures some truth. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm misremembering anything or if I missed something.
#mouthwashing#spoilers#tw#cw#most of the fucked up mouthwashing shit is mentioned here#idk how ppl are handling tws because are some considered spoilers?#idk
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Thanks for the tag! Alrighty, here's 7 lines from the last thing I wrote (btw it's from chapter 3 of my April O'Neil/Turtle Tots Rising au):
In one of the tunnels, which now that she got to look inside, wasn't even really a full tunnel, it was quite short and not very long; there was a large box in the middle of the room, on it were crumbs of what looked like they might have been some crackers but it wasn't very easy to tell what they had been before. There was a steady flow of water coming down the wall, and when she looked up towards the ceiling she could see that there was some old tape there, someone had tried to patch the leak but they didn't seem to be very successful.
In the room right next to the previous one, there was a larger box with what appeared to be some shredded up newspapers and multi-colored fabric over the top of the shreds, right next to the box were several laid out newspapers, also covered by a multi-colored cloth. Although, this cloth appeared to be in a large pile off to one side of the newspapers.
And in the final room were some large sticks with newspapers and cloth underneath them, perhaps some form of padding to prevent the smaller turtles from getting hurt if they decided to climb onto the sticks, as well as some tennis balls and slightly smaller sticks in a pile on the opposite side of the room from the larger sticks. They looked chewed on and torn in many places, as well as snapped in others, clearly a favorite of Red.
This entire area where Splinter and The turtles lived seemed both dirty but also clean, lived in well but also not, if she was going to be completely honest she didn't think she'd mind staying here if it was something over her head and at least some sort of food every once in a while.
Edit: completely forgot to tag people, my bad! @boots-with-the-fur-club @phoebepheebsphibs @daboyau @iobsesswaytoomuch @remedyturtles
thank you for the tag @invalidstories !
Heads Up, Seven Up!
rules: post the last seven lines you wrote, then tag seven people.
here’s a little something from chapter 12 of Your Average Fangirl :)
A quick glance at the nightstand tells me it's 10:03AM. I stretch my arms above my head before moving to a sitting position, the standard hotel white duvet rustling with every miniscule movement.
I grab my phone off the charging stand and quickly swipe through all of the notifications. After getting back to the hotel last night, we all went to our separate rooms. When Jace didn't follow me as he normally did, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at not talking with him well into the early morning hours.
softly tagging @kyuponstories @kbwritesstuff @romances-not-tragedies @fortunatetragedy @taranorma
@that-0n3-shr00mi3-guy @honeybewrites
#heads up seven up#writeblr tag game#writeblr open tag#writers on tumblr#writing community#writing#writers of tumblr#ao3#ao3 community#writeblr#ao3 writer#I'm trying y'all-#my writing isn't the greatest yet but I'm think I'm getting better!:)#btw my au is on AO3#but the first chapter (which is actually really short) is here on Tumblr#it'll just take a LOT of scrolling to find it#so I have the link to the AO3 pinned on here:)#anyways#unpause rise of the tmnt#rise tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of tmnt#tmnt fan iteration#tmnt 2018#save rise of the turtles#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the tmnt#save rottmnt#bring back rise of the tmnt#bring back rottmnt
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Richard sterling x prince (hunter) reader. I really like the classics 😒. I also think it would be a cute dynamic
Uh, one second while I just- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
Alr thank you for your time I'll get to writing now :3 I'm going out on a limb and guessing you want a male reader and not a gender neutral reader, but lmk if you want me to rewrite it for that.
Disobedience.
(Was written before I gained better understanding of his character so he may be ooc)
Masterlist
Warnings: Nothing you wouldn't expect of an Idv fanfic ig. Swearing, Mentions of aggression. (They kinda hate eachother through the first bit but trust the process), Fluff :3
Info: I originally intended to go for headcanons and then short little drabbles.. but ig this is what you get when you're hit with horrific brainrot for one character. [WRITTEN BEFORE HIS OFFICIAL RELEASE, I DONT REMEMBER IF PEOPLE LEAKED HIS ABILITIES SO IM KEEPING THAT DESCRIPTION MINIMAL]
Richard Sterling x Male! Hunter! Prince! Reader
---
This Manor isn't to my liking. Too small. Compact. Nobody listens to me either. Disrespectful little rats. Have they no idea who I am?
Have I really been forgotten by the world that quickly? Surely not. Sister would not have let that happen, I'm sure. Of the entire family, she loved me. She saw me. She saw me as I am, not as the misconceptions they've had of me since the day I was born.
My eyelids finally force themselves open as the curtains of the room I've been placed in are pushed open by an unremarkable face I will likely never remember. Nobody of importance, however, the woman bows and makes a swift exit as she meets my eyes. She had quickly muttered something along the lines of "Breakfast is ready to be served."
Hm. Food didn't seem to even get a rise out of me anymore. The thought having lost its appeal after my incident. Court of fools. Court of shrivelled cocks and frog faced women. Neither appealing yet praised as though they are Gods greatest gifts. Can't even protect their prince from something as simple-minded as poisons in his meals. I suppose I should make an appearance before my "games" today, see who I am to be matched against to begin with.
The newest survivors are often who I am matched with as I am a new hunter. The Lady Nightingale, as I have learned to refer to her as, has insisted that it is the best way for us to adapt to our situation. The Fire Investigator seems particularly taken by the poor burnt Puppet man. Ms Mora, although sometimes able to fool me, often lacks the correct facilities to correctly defend herself against me. However, the role that catches my eye upon the list of survivors I am to play against is The "Knight". A name not seen by the other hunters, according to Mr Desaulnier. He claims to have heard whispers amongst the staff attending to us all but he merely thought it to be just rumours and gossip. Of all the Hunters, Joseph Desaulnier has been the best example of what a friend is in this sort of situation. He has been respectful and taught me the ropes all he asks in return is my reciprocated respect.
My eyes scan over the heads of the survivors currently nearby, all familiar faces in a sense. Although I have not been here long, I am aware of the majority of the survivors present in the manor and their general styles. Nothing out of the ordinary, I suppose.
♡♡♡
I have vague memories of a handful of matches I've played in this place. The Red Church. Lots of walls and the main church building is rather open, often a cipher placed on there making the chase for the survivors slightly harder if they do not get enough distance in time. My goal for this match, however, is not to find my usual survivors. I understand them, I wish to study the new puzzling enigma that is the "Knight".
An odd sort of sight is given to us hunters that allows us to see the machines being worked on. Slight shakes on multiple at once, its only a matter of figuring out which would be best to go to. Church it is. Whoever is there, regardless of it being the one I want or not will likely try to pass off the kite to another as there was a sudden switch of the journalist to the composer. I am more likely to find one of their decoders but one can only hope to be so lucky.
As I make my way to the church an odd figure is there to greet me. He looks up from the machine in shock and takes a defensive stance, this allows me to get a better view of the man. His hair is long and perhaps considered unneat but in a charming sort of way. He wears an outfit that exudes the very concept of nobility to a high level most of my fathers court could not even pull off. His face is angular and a beauty mark sits below his lips to his right side. He regains his composure as he realises I am not here to attack him. The church is quiet as a cipher is finished most likely by the composer in the far corner. Aside from the large popping noise it makes nothing is said between us, not until he decides to open his lips.
"Are you not the one sent to hunt us all? I am I truly so intimidating that you have become incomplete." Stern words, harsh even but it does not bother me as it is the sort of taunting I have received many times through my time. His eyes narrow viciously. Two colours? I would not have noticed had I not taken this time to study him, his left eye a stony blue colour and his right, a deep brown with green tints in both. At this point to have been able to see this I have since gotten closer subconsciously. As though drawn to his prescense. I catch myself before i get too caught up in it all however.
"I am the Prince. Your Prince. Show more respect, if you truly deem yourself to be an honourable knight." He seems to smirk at my title and his confidence only appears to double.
"So a spoiled brat, demanding obedience as though all around are his new pet puppy dogs?" He's trying to get a reaction. His arrogance is almost reflective of my own however he must have a means to be doing this or is it simply for his own pleasure, as my reason had been to observe. "How rude. You are no Prince of mine, not until you prove it. So, shall we dance, Your Grace?"
My composure slips at the words and I feel the angered snear take over my features, my stance becomes more offensive and I begin to hastily move towards the cocky man. "Speak not of being a brat. You're disobedience will get you nowhere but a chair back to the manor."
The chase was not as long as I was expecting, I suppose he truly was arrogant in his abilities today. Time will tell if he masters his skills. A tie was all I could manage with the hinderance the Knights and my initial meeting gave me. I am forever grateful that the Faro Lady believes she can be a rescuer with her ability, a terrorshock is all it takes.
The Knight appears to want to become my antithesis. So that is all he shall be. An idea abstracted from my own and strange.
☆☆☆
- After the first meeting they appear to be forced together through consistent matches against one another or rumors spreading that the two knew eachother prior to the manor.
- False rumors but you suppose it is not completely unreasonable that a prince and a knight, or so his name claims him to be, to be closer than other roles within the manor.
- He says little to others, and when he does it is often sickeningly sweet words. Sugarcoated truths made to seem like the words are kinder than they are just to draw others in.
- few had fallen for it so he had abandoned such a tactic in favour of bothering you in some form.
- be it in matches, his improvement in the way he moves through each map having improved significantly. Easily gliding past obstacles and dodging your skills. A real pest.
- Tension seems to continuously rise with no seeming resolve in sight. That is until one day you walk past the music room.
- Expecting the violinist on the other side of the door as the melody continues on, only to be met with the closed eyes of the Knight as he plays a somber tune.
- You go unnoticed until the end of the song, a smile forming on your face. His eyes flash open as though some otherworldly being made him aware of your presence.
- A silent understanding forms between the two of you. As though no words were ever needed between the two of you, simply because you both understood.
- The tension dissipates within seconds.
- You and the "Knight" seem to find a deeper understanding of eachother over time. He learns of your past and attempts to sympathise with your unjust demise, while he shares stories of his past before the loss of his family.
- He wishes to find his 'sister' but as time passes he finds himself drawn to you, wishing never to leave your side.
- That is exactly what he does. He takes the role of a true Knight that protects his master, although he still has a tongue as sharp as a blade and swift wit that goes completely unmatched by most others in the manor.
- He cannot seem to ever truly listen to your commands, but suppose it is the thought that counts.
---- fin.
OKAY I LOWKEY FELT I WAS WAFFLING ON AND FORGOT WHAT I WAS WRITING, I DIDNT EVEN ADD SOME OF THE STUFF I WANTED TO CAUSE MY TIMES FOR WRITING WERE SO CLUNKY BUT HEY I GOT IT DONE EVENTUALLY!!
(Not proof read, I'll go back and get that done lol)
#idv#idv x reader#idv knight#idv richard#idv richard sterling#idv knight x reader#idv richard x reader#idv richard sterling x reader#idv fandom
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An insidious leak: the analysis of seemingly shady uncloakings
My brain is rolling and spinning yet again at one thousand miles per hour and Leland Turbo is right at the centre of it. Certain writing persuits have triggered a pattern of thought surrounding the circumstances of his discovery by the lemons, and I have a few things Id like to further examine.
"This is Agent Leland Turbo. I have a flash transmission for Agent Finn McMissile. Finn, my cover's been compromised. Everything's gone pear-shaped."
He doesn't elaborate any further than this for potential reasons I shall delve into a little bit later in this post. So the question I have is this:
Why? Why did it all go to hell in the first instance? How was he compromised?
Leland is very much on par with Finn in the sense of experience. They spent both of their entire adult lives together in training at the CHROME academy and have carried out countless missions both seperately and with each other. He is more than competent with, what I estimate would be, around forty years of field experience. And considering he would have known that complacency would always get him killed, he would never have allowed himself to become complacent enough to permit his facade to come into the light. And to be permitted to perform any type of mission on his own, then his ability is extensively trusted indeed. Mistakes happen, sure. But I sincerely doubt Leland would have made one that held this type of consequence.
My current aswer to this question?
CHROME had a mole.
Upon beginning this post, I came to the realisation that there is a second segment that didn't initially cross my mind that adds evidence to this particular ideology:
"Finn, I need backup. But don't call the cavalry, it could blow the operation."
Leland knew about the mole. Or at least he had his suspicions.
Initially I simply put this statement down to 'too many cooks spoil the broth', or in this case, 'too many agents will screw up the mission.' However, I'm no longer so sure that this is the case.
Visually speaking, his face says a million words. He is terrified. Evidently, if he's caught, he knows he is in for a whole universe of hurt. And death is very much on the horizon. But the fear makes a drastic appearance when he specifies not calling the "cavalry". This makes perfect sense to me if he thinks that the lemons were tipped off about his presence. And if there was someone within CHROME who could not be trusted, then the only vehicle he was be able to notify was Finn.
He knows him better than any other vehicle in the world and trusts him with his life. He's also aware that, if the flash transmission were to be seen by any other CHROME agent by accident, and he had of mentioned anything about a potential leak, it could have put Finn in a gargantuan amount of peril. So he kept quiet about the idea, simply telling him to not get the agency as a whole involved.
Now, I can't bring up Leland in this circumstance without also talking about Rod Redline. The second agent in the equation who also lost their life because he was compromised. And the same question applies since we don't really know how it happened to him either.
Rod was also a highly skilled and competent individual, hence the statement: 'Rod "Torque" Redline is considered by many as the greatest American spy in the world.' So all, if not most, of the criteria that applies to Leland applies to Agent Redline as well. And yet, he was also caught.
His shock when Grem and Acer followed him into the bathroom at the Towkyo party is quite telling. Its indicitive that he didn't know he had been caught until that exact moment. And the lack of any other emotion but deep seated anger on the faces of Grem and Acer could potentially indicate that they knew exactly who they were looking for.
If he was discovered due to a mole, since inter-agency cooperation isn't uncommon when working on the same mission, then it may just have been the same mole that told the lemons about Leland Turbo.
And of course there's the question of how Grem, Acer and the professor knew about the agents in the first place. Zundapp even mentions them both by name.
"Hey, Professor Z! This is one of those British spies we told you about." Yeah. Most likely a mole.
So what was the mole's driving force? Money? Blackmail? Sadism? A crippling hatred for the agencies or individuals? Who knows.
Of course we might never know for sure the exact reasoning for why they were both compromised. But it's always interesting to speculate.
Chrysler help the vehicles who caused Leland's death when Finn gets hold of them. Particularly if they are someone that he once trusted.
#pixar cars#cars fandom#cars#cars pixar#cars headcanons#cars 2#leland turbo#finn mcmissile#CHROME#had leland not gotten finn involved#the lemons might have gotten away with their plans#an insidious leak#why is my brain like this?#pretty sure theres more analysis to complete#but I needed to get this out of my brainhole#before I exploded#grem gremlin#acer pacer#brain is eepy now#why did you have to murder two of the hottest mens#goddamnit pixar#j curby gremlin
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I am here to request any toothrotting fluff headcanons for reader and Tsuna for my emotional recovery from faceless (I didn’t realize you did requests)
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ❝ 𝐏𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ! ❞
⋆.˚ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. s.tsunayoshi x reader .
⋆.˚ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. general dating headcanon with our underrated favorite maincharacter, sawada tsunayoshi <3
⋆.˚ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. ~0.65k .
⋆.˚ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. fluff. literally toothrotting fluff. f!reader. spoiler - free. safe for minors! crappy writing ( when was the last time I wrote? ). puppy love. tsunayoshi differs from the actual tsuna, so he may seem ooc. I'm sorry I tried.
decent grades, decent looks, good reputation, normal life — you're just another normal student who unfortunately attends to his school. And Tsuna is absolutely no fan of ruining your good, little life. yet he failed miserably to hide you from the world ( reborn ), because the greatest hitman of all time ( reborn named himself like that ) found out about tsuna's little crush and tested you if you're fit to be the donna of Vongola.
skip this part cuz we're talking about fluffy headcanon, but we needed to make sure y'all know how you two met ( through reborn, it's clear).
Sawada Tsunayoshi is SO shy, that's a given. And he is also shy at the start of your relationship. He will not make the first moves, because he always doubts himself, so please don't only drop hints that you want to hold his hand, cuddle etc. you definitely should take action girly pop. That is, if you're willing to take the lead for him.
You're his safe haven from all the chaos he has to go through. If you catch him falling asleep on the train or at school, you would scoot closer so his head will fall on top of your shoulder. Not to mention if you find him sleeping, the exhaustion is literally plastered on his face, so the urge to lay down beside him on his bed takes over you and you give in, laying beside him and caressing his face or wrapping your arms around him.
Oh once when you were visiting and had to go to the toilet, you caught him sleeping. This won't happen again if he wakes up to you sleeping next to him ( he's dying because of embarrassment ).
Whenever you both are out and there is a big crowd, he would automatically reach out for your hand so you wouldn't get separated and lost. Just so you know, this already happend to him lots of times and he doesn't want you to experience the same very often.
He is your listener number one. Even though he isn't really good at comforting, his company still makes you feel warm and fuzzy. You can yap about everything and anything, he will listen. If you have worries, tell him. You will feel better, promise. But don't be mad at him for forgetting one thing or two, since he's trying to remember lots of things you said or mentioned.
I also think he has many pictures of you on his flip phone, you're the only thing he photographs. And you're most likely his background — it's a wobbly picture I know, but once again, he's trying to only take good photos of you because you're in his eyes the epitome of beauty!
9 out of 10 dates fail, probably because of his bad luck or clumsiness, but he's happy you make the best of it and that you both still have so much fun. It is easy for him to just pay you a visit, sit in your room and talk. Having a nice little talk about life and everything else. It's the type of date you don't need to spend money. It's just you, him and the night.
Tsuna feels so weirdly comfortable and safe around you. Like, how do you turn the atmosphere into a light one? You're funny enough to make him hold his stomach before he dies. He's literally on the floor with tears in his eyes. Please stop with those horrendous jokes—
You know what's actually so sweet? You can always see how his eyes light up at the sight of you, even if it's just a picture or even if you just get mentioned. The only thought of you fills him with indescribable happiness.
By the way, Reborn has too many pictures of you. ( pls, tsuna looks diabolically funny on those pics while you're the definiton of heaven )
The couple you two are I SWEAR TO GOD. Perfect, chef's kiss.
© 2024 kumasakka — do not plagiarize , copy , modify , translate our work !
a/n's note — sorry for the late headcanons, I still hope you enjoyed !!
#❨🎐❩ 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀 :: shitpost.#katekyo hitman reborn#katekyo hitman reborn x reader#khr#sawada tsunayoshi x reader#tsunayoshi sawada x reader#tsuna x reader#x reader#khr x reader
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Not sure anyone asked yet but least favourite Sonic character and why? Also any other big interests besides StH? :3
Since you couldn’t answer my other questions, I’ll just ask something unrelated to the comic ><
I think if we're going off of every single canon ever, my very least favorite Sonic character is gonna be Drago Wolf. Plenty of Archie characters fall victim to being too boring or same-y, especially ones from A Certain Era, but Drago Wolf actually just fucking sucks. He was evil in a way that wasn't fun just to make the comic look more "mature." I do like seeing him get punched in the face, though, and thankfully that happened often enough under Flynn's pen.
Now, my least favorite GAME character? That's a tough call. I feel like I could easily pick any of the Zeti besides Zavok (Zavok at least has a neat design). They represent the height of an era where Sonic Team was either playing it safe or trying to appeal to Mario fans while under a lot of pressure and suffering from a tight budget.
Truly dogshit characters. Almost all entirely flat, one-note cardboard cutouts sharing the role of "tacky villain with a gimmick." Awful. But at the very least, they can be made better by better writers. Lost Hex, itself, can get dug into and made into more than it is right now. There may be a diamond yet in that rough.
Now I'm gonna start hating on the wisps because I think they also suck, sorry wisp fans (are there wisp fans). Not in full scathing detail will I get into how much I hate the wisps because I don't think there's much to say about them. I think that, writing-wise, there isn't much to go off of here. They're sentient temporary powers. Hardly characters by themselves. They are so boring and nothing much can actually be done with them. They are made to appeal to the absolute youngest sonic fans and this is done in the least engaging way possible.
Sorry again if anyone out there loves the Zeti or thinks Yacker is the greatest. I'm not sorry if you love Drago Wolf.
Oh wait this question had two parts didn't it. Yeah I love a buncha stuff unrelated to Sonic! I'll list em!
Theme Parks/Themed Experiences
Kingdom Hearts
The Sly Cooper Original Trilogy
Heroes of Might & Magic III (I kinda just obsessively play this sometimes like if I don't have any internet access and have been playing this game for like two decades)
Dead By Daylight, reluctantly
Gargoyles (that Disney animated tv series)
Spider-Man!!!!!
Youtube Poops
^ All I can think of rn
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He can I request dialogue 2 with Travis where reader is getting all sappy and shit when they settle into the cabin
🧡Cabin Fever - Travis Martinez x fem!Reader🧡
Fanfiction master list
disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately
Summary: a quiet conversation at the lake...
Warnings: Convo about Periods, hurt + comfort
Word Count: 1,122
A/N: Hello Loves! I know a handful of you have wanted this, so here he is! Travis is actually a lot harder than I anticipated to write, but that could be because I'm not the greatest at writing men/boys. This turned out a lot angstier than intended, but I think we can all appreciate quality hurt/comfort now and then. Unfortunately though, pretty much all of my Travis requests have quite a hefty amount of angst in them. But that's all I'll say, so As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading! 🧡
Travis Martinez Tag List: @candylandy8173 @elliesjoints @nebulaemo
Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf @minimickzy
General Tag List: @summergeezburr
-🧡-
It had only been a week, maybe more or less, and you were sick of the cabin. It had quickly grown overcrowded and overstimulating, so you now found every opportunity you could to leave and be outside for as long as possible. It had become commonplace for you to wander all day and not come back till nightfall. Today, however, you'd found some peace at the lake. It started as a trip to get more water for back at the cabin, only to turn into an impromptu bath and swim. You'd grown desperate for some semblance of feeling clean again. But now you'd finished and were drying off on the shore.
“You’ve been gone all day,” a rough voice said behind you, though you didn’t turn. You only shrugged, arms wrapped around your knees as the waterline lapped at the rocky terrain under you and your toes. You hadn’t felt like putting your shoes back on just yet.
“It's getting crowded over there. I need to clear my head sometimes” you mumbled, eyes transfixed on a particularly shiny stone near your feet. Travis didn’t sit beside you, choosing to stand with his hands in his pockets.
“Mind bringing me along when you get away next time?” he asked. You chuckled.
“Is all the period talk getting to be too much for you?” you looked up at him, tilting your head and covering your eyes with your hand to keep the sun away. You were starting to regret not bringing those sunglasses your mother suggested.
“What, you on it too?” he griped. After a pause, you let out a snorting laugh at him. It had your stomach churning and you had to lie down on your back, arm covering your eyes as you grinned.
“Hey, better get used to it, T-man. I have a feeling it’s gonna be a minute before we get out of here,” you heard the stones beside you shuffle as he took a seat.
“I don’t hope that’s not the case,” he mumbled. You peeked out from under your arm to get a good look at him. He looked tired and out of it. You knew Travis well. You used to play little league soccer together when you were 6. His dad had been the coach then too. Honestly, that had been the only reason you played soccer now in high school. You lost some of that relationship with him over time. It was strange, his sudden interest in you. You always thought he kind of resented you for whatever reason. He’d grown up a lot though, you noted.
“Why? Can't stand being the only man with a bunch of women? Isn't that like, every guy's dream?” you hummed, covering your eyes again. You heard him scoff and shuffle his feet on the rocks.
“Yeah, maybe, but they haven't considered what comes with being around a bunch of girls,”
“What? Travis can’t handle a little girl talk?” you teased. He sighed heavily, grumbling under his breath.
“Maybe not constant girl talk, no,” you chuckled at that some and decided to sit up again. “is that why you always leave?”
“What? Because of girl talk?” he nodded. You shook your head. “No, I'm used to it. It's just locker room stuff at this point,” Travis wrinkled his nose and grimaced.
“You talk about your periods and stuff together?” he seemed quite surprised. Your brows raised and you nodded.
“I mean, what did you think we talked about?” you could see the formings of an embarrassed blush heat the apples of his cheeks.
“I dunno, I thought you talked about boys or something. Like magazines maybe, I dunno,” you began to laugh again.
“I mean, sure, we do, but that's not all we talk about,” he continued to frown and looked away, piercing his lips.
“Whatever. I just didn’t think I’d have to hear so much about it,” he grumbled. You laughed again, looking out onto the lake with a lackluster smile.
“You sound like your dad, you know that?” you said without putting any thought behind it. Upon realizing you felt yourself cringe, sucking in a breath between your teeth. You expected Travis to throw himself into a rage, scream at you to shut the fuck up, and not mention his father, now dead a buried by the crash sight which felt long forgotten by now. But he didn’t. He stayed quiet, staring down at his shoes with a crease in his brow and a frown on his lips.
“ugh, don’t remind me,” was all he managed to say through fumbling teeth. You began to apologize but he shook his head, his eyes turning up and looking at you. “Don’t. It’s fine,” his voice faltered, letting you know that it wasn’t fine. But you weren't going to press any more than you had already. He went quiet again and you chewed at your lip.
“You know, he was a pretty shit dad,” he said eventually, his eyes transfixed on the open air of the lake. You watched, keeping your words to yourself. “I’m pretty sure he was cheating on my mom or something. I don’t know though. He wouldn’t fess up to me and no one told me what was happening,” he took a long sniff in, his lip twitching.
“I used to wish he’d just leave. Maybe then Mom would be happy. But now he’s gone, and I just-” he trailed off shaking his head with parted lips. He didn’t go on from there and you couldn't find any words, so you did the only thing you could think of and reached out, your fingertips brushing over his spin. He jumped and you hesitated, but when he looked up to meet your gaze, tears forming in his eyes with a quivering lip you couldn’t help the way your gaze softened.
You reached out your other hand, brushing your fingers over his cheek as you moved forward, hesitantly enveloping him in your arms. His nose and face found the crook where your neck met your shoulder as one of your arms snaked around his shoulder while the other slipped to cradle the back of his neck. He began to quiver in your arms. He wrapped his arms around your shoulder and waist, squeezing tight for as much support as he could get from you. You felt tears run down your shoulder, wetting your shirt as he sniffled and cried. Your fingertips tangled in his growing hair and you breathed him in as tears sting your eyes now.
“It’s gonna be ok…” was all you could muster. If you believed that or not, you didn't know, but it was what you both needed, even if it was only for a moment.
#◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ kay's at it again♡#fanfiction requests#fic request#yellowjackets#yellowjackets fanfic#yellowjackets x reader#travis martinez#travis martinez x reader
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World of Twelve dashboard simulator #2
👁️ katarynadance follow
Freaks may say i want to fuck antonio sadisski from the bontarian boufbowl Love Arrow team. I'm freaks. I mean im freaks. I mean im freaks.
🌌 somethingquietplace
I wouldn't go that far, but NGL, I don't know how one might not develop an affinity for him... Very charming man! He might be the second greatest player after Khan.
Then again, my opinion on who the second greatest player is changes all the time, haha.
🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow
Ehh khan's been dead for centuries....! Let it go. I think he's cool, but thinking nobody will ever be better is crazy...
🌌 somethingquietplace
He developed most of the techniques still used to this day, just so you know. Visit a museum perhaps. It might be helpful?
🎃 sacriblo0ody follow
average khan fan showing how much criticism of his favourite misogynyst he can withstand.
🌌 somethingquietplace
And you're an average 16 year old child with Very Important Opinions trying to educate me nicely.
🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow
Seeing somethingquietplace and sadidaskickshoe on the same post is kind of terrifying.
#worlds most toxic crossover? #20 callout posts gang real?
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🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow
Guys they both blocked me ASFHFKDKGJSJ
Do i get a boufbowl fandom badge of honor now????? Did i make it in life?????
🦠 gorebludsac follow
I don't think it's a nice way to post, considering one of them is like neurodivergent and a minor, and the other is tumblr user somethingquietplace (diagnosis self explanatory)
🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow
I'm sorry yeah i forgot that they're both diagnosed.
#ngl i feel bad kinda for both of them
(34 notes)
🌌 somethingquietplace
.
I hate adventuring with other people. Just being there and knowing I'll never be their friend. I want to say something, be in the conversation, but I never know what to say, and everyone already knows each other and
Well even when they don't yet know each other, obviously they'll prefer anyone else over me. They'll give up on trying to talk to me.
It's so weird... I hate everyone. Everyone has stupid interests and tastes. Just braindead things. Romance and fucking and fashion. And all of them have normal lives and normal families and once in a while they ask something about mine and I don't know what to say at all. And I want to be liked. Even if I have zero respect for anyone I want to like me. Is it weird?
I guess I'm just sad because I don't have that innate talent to pretend like I care about other people. Or maybe I wish someone actually liked me besides my family.
#delete later #...I really like this ''forbid others from reblogging a post'' function they added recently #When my dad dies I think I will finally kill myself I guess. #not osu #Honestly I can't tolerate anyone at my work. I hate them all and want them dead. #And I can't tolerate anyone close to my age. #They all insult me. Constantly. You know. #So the only people who like me are my family. #Its neverending. I can't take it anymore. #I think me only liking my family might be a self fulfilling prophecy but i don't care. #or so I think.
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🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow
people who post about their family issues on here are weird.... My brother isn't here but just the idea of him seeing anything on my phone makes me so scared to write anything!! 😵💫
#temp
(1 note)
🌌 somethingquietplace
I wish people would refrain from obvious vagueblogging about my deleted posts.
#delete later #not osu
(284 notes)
🌸 sadidaskickshoe
people who stalk other peoples blogs are so weird!! I think it's easier to follow one another. Because this is getting embarrassing for us both XD
🌌 somethingquietplace
Ok.
#Mostly I am following you because you said you liked Khan Karkass. #Even if you don't have good opinions (ones I agree with) on him.
(1243 notes)
🦠 gorebludsac follow
A second mad xelor explosive machine has hit the tumblr boufbowl fandom
#those.two.... are mutuals now. #i canrt stop laughing there are tears rolling down my face #remember when kickshoe told me in explicit detail how she wanted me to kill myself #or how quiet typed out whole 40 paragraphs of threats #and ended that post with ''youre wasting my time away from work'' as if hes not termianlly online too #this is historical for me and nobody else
(46 notes)
🪰 maldemal follow
She throw dice on my tabletop til i eacflipcity
🕳️ eviltreeman follow
Collect my Thirsty Branches
(459 notes)
🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow
Bruh someone tried to kill the prince again and missed. How the fuck does a fifth assassin in a row fail at killing the prince of brakmar!!!! I can't live in this stupid country anymore
🌸 sadidaskickshoe
Even if things suck i dont think killing royals is the answer..... 😰
(109 notes)
🌌 somethingquietplace
Was in a store recently. The prices were disgusting, and the worst of all, the Ministry of Moral Purity wants to propose a tax for being negative about the government... Are we in Brakmar now? Is this Brakmar we're in?
I have something very taxable to say but shall refrain.
🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow
Bontarians when something bontarian happens bontarianly in bonta: is this fucking brakmar
unlike you, I have the free speech to wish death on our royalty. I can say freely that I hope the prince of brakmar kills himself.
🌌 somethingquietplace
It's literally so easy to hate you even besides the holier than thou attitude... Your city has lava. Would a good place to live with good people have lava. Would a good place with good people have invented something called "the Brakmarian burial"?
🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow
You can't be saying that white-blue boy
#WHERE DID A RANDOM BONTARIAN LEARN A 500 YEAR OLD GANG TERM FOR BODY DISPOSAL?? #WHAT???
(24295 notes)
🪄 pantypervert69 follow
CALLOUT POST:
@/xellymelly has been selling re-bought goods from The Mad Xelor. Do NOT buy from her. Not only are they dangerous, they are also wildly past their expiration date. DO NOT USE ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT FROM HER. IT WILL KILL YOU.
🌌 somethingquietplace
If you have items made by The Mad Xelor, Kerubim Crepin from Bonta's Aux Tresors de Kerubim shop has a recycling program for all victims of this scam. He even gives out rewards for all the items you bring in.
I implore you to consider taking the things you bought to him, and making the world a safer place. (And "★bring some magic to your life★")
#not osu #I can personally vouch for this store's quality. It's very well known among some circles around here.
(4838 notes)
🚬 pigpigeazer follow
Everyone always jokes about the bad parts of classes but nobody ever talks about how generous the pandawa are, how honest iops are, how lively ecaflips are, and how empathetic sacriers are
🎃 sacriblo0ody follow
literally im always saying that!
🤖 athefogenesis follow
Except it always comes at the expense of mentioning that their religion makes them ignorant, addicts, or drives them to self harm?? We need to bully people who are hardcore about class tenets harder. You're destroying yourself for some all powerful reality-warping creature that doesnt give a shit about you
🤹 lancerclown420 follow
People like you give us atheist classes such a bad name. Everyone and everything in the world has a purpose, both those who follow a deity, and those who follow a primciple and
Actually they're a sufokian supremacist so nvmmmm
🧙 hupperschlongartor follow
THE NOTES ARE A FREE BLOCKLIST 💀
(637 notes)
🌌 somethingquietplace
.
#not osu #delete later #the thing is that. I never stopped hating him for ruining my life. #But the amount of hatred i feel ebbs and flows. Does it make sense? #This is stupid. So stupid... Like #oh nooo papycha... you neglected me as a child to the point of incurable mental diseases... #They would be better off if I was dead honestly #i need me and my dad to die. #I need everyone to die actually
(2 notes)
🦞 foggerfish follow
Apparently there's a big thing going on in demigod history community because Goultard (you know, the 4847372882843 or whatever year old son of Iop) undied again and was spotted somewhere around Astrubian border.
👽 cvt3-r41nb0w follow
MY WEDDING IS BACK ON NOBODY WILL HOLD ME BACK. He already married witches i can be the fourth
🗣️ thedarkwitchfromthatbook-is-gay follow
Isn't he gay
😈 osawhip666 follow
isn't he a mass murderer
🌌 somethingquietplace
Finally a reason to kill myself?
#I have to work with demigods a lot so... #Wish me luck in avoiding him like plague? #I had horrible experiences with him in the past #but talking about it would definitely lead someone to finding out who I am so... #I hope he kills himself and it sticks for once.
(447 notes)
🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow
Heyyy
I wish people would stop rb'ing quiet's boufbowl gifsets considering the fact hes racist, misogynist, a freak, a bonta apologist (goes with the racism), has a fucking Maid, and likes some really weird things.
At least kickshoe has the excuse of being like a teen but this fucking guy is just something else.
🧙 hupperschlongartor follow
whatd he do? 🥺
🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow
Says weird things about brakmar (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, and mooooore), is a freak (x, x), and a misogynist (x, x, x) (STOP STANNING KHAN KARKASS) also he's weird about huppermages and self described his class as an antihuppermage and even though it was like 200 years ago hes a wholeass immortal man and also is Still a weirdo about ecaflips.
(385 notes)
🌌 somethingquietplace
RE: the newest cancellation
I don't care about your feelings and I have nothing to apologize for.
#not osu
(1842 notes)
🦴 skellythievin follow
Not me honoring sram by stealing bones from the graveyard 😭
🦴 ougigou-woof-woof follow
LEGENDARY POST
#WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME PFP AS THE BONE STEALING SRAM
(59227 notes)
🌸 sadidaskickshoe
Yaaa antonio sadisski won as always!! They should put sadidas like him in the hall of heroes for our country ᕙ (° ~ ° ~)
👯 mirarynnnw follow
He sucks
🌸 sadidaskickshoe
Hi kill yourself :) /gen
#i was banned from using my phone but ill risk it all again to say that nobody will miss you!
(12 notes)
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That Lyney fic just earned you a follow JAJSUJDHDD and I see ur still accepting tickletober prompts, so I was hoping to get one in! I'm not really sure how it works but I see day 23 isn't taken, so maybe you could do ler!Lyney and lee!Freminet for that one? Or any other day you'd wanna do that for is fine! I just have a dire need ajsjdjd
Anyway your writing is amazing and I can't wait to see more from you!
Tickletober day #23: Incoherent
YIPPEE LEE FREMI THE BABY 💖💖💖
I was so happy when I got this, I love the sibs 🥺💖💖💖
And am glad you enjoy my writing, hope you like this too! :D
___________________________________________
Freminet x Lyney (PLATONIC)
Lee: Freminet
Ler: Lyney
Warnings: Tickles!
___________________________________________
Anyone would be surprised to see Freminet zooming so swiftly across his home, but when the stakes where this high anything was possible.
“Fremineeeet~ Come out, come out wherever you are~” Lyney spoke in a sing-song voice as he stepped into his brother’s room, searching as to where the blonde could’ve hidden at. Or atleast pretending to, as his big brother, Lyney already knew all of his go-to hiding spots when it came to these sorts of games.
Freminet held in a shaky breath, covering his mouth behind his hands, quietly observing Lyney walk by from under his bed.
“Well I guess he isn’t here…~” Lyney’s voice became fainter and the door closed, signaling that he was gone. Freminet let out a sigh of relief, making his way out, until…
“Gotcha~”
When he looked up, Lyney was seated on top of his bed, looking down at him with a playful grin. Causing Freminet to gulp out of instinct.
“No!” his fight or flight reaction kicked in, trying to scurry away but it was too late. Lyney managed to quickly pull him up, pinning him down on his bed.
“Now where do you think you’re going? You should know better than to hide from the tickle monster~” Lyney’s grin turn into a mischevious smirk, as he started to wiggle his fingers just above Freminet’s tummy, barely ghosting over the sensitive skin.
“W-wahahait! Dohon’t you wanna hear about romaritime flowers and- and hat jellyfiHIHISH?!” Freminet’s words fell deaf as Lyney’s fingers finally reached their destination. Gently wiggling all over the soft flesh of his midsection. “WAHAHA! LYNEY NO! WAIT! PFFTAHAHAHA!”
“Aww! Look at you go, little brother! You can barely even talk when I go tickle tickle tickle~ on your cute tummy~”
Freminet let out a flustered squeal, his pale complexion quickly turning as bright as Lyney’s pyro vision.
"Haha! A tickle under here~ And a tickle under there~!" the magician spoke playfully as he struck under Freminet's armpits with each teasing phrase, sending his little brother further down into hysterics.
"NAHAHAHAO! N-NOHOHO TEASING! LYNEY- PLEHEHEASE!" the freckled boy's eyes were shut tight, as if that somehow would make the ticklish feeling go away. If anything, it just made him more susceptible to it, not knowing what his brother would do next. Then again, he could never tell what Lyney's next move would be.
“Now y’know what they say, every good magician needs a grand finale~”
Freminet let out an audible gulp at that. His eyes widened in fear and yet excitement at what Lyney could have in store for him, but whatever it was, it could only be 'torturous' for him.
The magician cracked his fingers and loosened his muscles, as if this were his greatest trick yet. He then pulled up Freminet’s shirt and sucked in as much air as he could hold, before leaning down and releasing the mother of raspberries on poor Freminet’s tummy.
“WAH! PSHHH! AHAHAHAHA! IHIHIT TICKLES SO BAHAHAD!” the introvert cried out the obvious through bouts of laughter. He couldn’t help but throw his head back, his wide smile open for everyone to see.
Once the torment was done, Lyney pulled back, wearing a satisfied smirk on his face. “Thank you one and all!~” Lyney bowed down to an imaginary audience, as Fremimet was still too busy giggling and gasping for breath to even get up.
“I hope you had fun, little brother. I know I sure did~” Lyney teased, leaning down to playfully boop his brother’s redenned nose.
Fremimet let out a small, flustered grumble. Hiding his nose with his hands. “I-it… yeah, I did…” he eventually admitted shyly, letting out a coy smile.
“Then my job here is done!” Lyney flipped his cape dramatically before exiting out of the room, leaving a giddy Freminet to reminiscence of what just happened.
___________________________________________
#augtickletober2023#tickletober2023#genshin impact#genshin tickle#genshin tickle fic#freminet#lyney#ler!lyney#lee!freminet#genshin impact tickling
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Erwin Smith & Shy! Reader Headcanons
Pairing: Platonic! Erwin Smith & Levi x Shy! Reader
Requested by anonymous: Hello! Do you think I could ask for Headcanons with Erwin Smith being a father figure towards a shy, quiet but sweet reader? Of course! I'm afraid I'm not the greatest at writing headcanons, but I did my best 💪(◡̀_◡́҂). Here you go 💜
Attack on Titan Masterlist ❤️ Fandom Masterlist
You joined the Scouts as soon as you could, but have always tried to maintain a low profile, in fact out of everyone who has encountered you, at least 98.99% are certain they've never actually heard your voice before.
Are you mute? Do you just think you’re too good for everyone else? The world may never know.
…Alright, so that might've been an exaggeration. Some people know, notably those who don’t survive off of a single brain cell (aka Erwin and Levi, sometimes Hange depending on the day???).
Okay, let's start off with Levi's opinions of your first. What does he like about you? You're quiet. Plain and simple. You don't talk his ear off about stupid stuff. You don't make dumb annoying jokes like Springer or Braus. You don't butt heads with others like Yeager and Kirstein. You're one of those rare cadets who has decent manners and clearly wasn't raised by wolves (although a bit more on that later).
Erwin isn't as shy when it comes to giving you praise. If he notices you feeling insecure or particularly shy, you can bet he's on that shit right away the same way Levi's on dirt with a mop. Oh, and his words of support aren't just 'words'. Expect a full on speech with the same sort of passion he pours into his job.
Now, there's a reason for Levi and Erwin often encouraging you that goes beyond you simply being their favorite (which you probably are). They can relate to you. You're an orphan. They're both orphans. The difference? They didn't have anyone there for them. They each lost the only father-figures they had when they were young and know the pain well, so they'll be damned if they let you suffer the same path.
Yep, they're self-proclaimed dads. Levi, of course, won't admit it aloud because he's stubborn, but that doesn't apply to Erwin. He doesn't necessarily go around saying anything, however if someone asks if he has a kid, he'll shameless say 'yes' with a sly smirk on his face (is he lying?!).
You don't mind the attention. It may have been uncomfortable at first since you weren't used to having any parent figures, although you quickly realized how nice it could be to have two scary dads hovering over your shoulder especially whenever someone gives you a hard time for being so timid. Mind your own business or get assigned extra cleaning duty. You choose.
Added bonus? Expert advice that isn't handed down in an intimating way that could be mistake for harsh criticism like everyone else gets. Feel free to go to Erwin any time you have a question. He'll go over with you in detail, and if you don't understand his explanation, he'll try different ways to get it across, even taking you to others who might be able to explain it better. You also might just be the only scout who isn't afraid to ask Levi for critiques on your fighting skills since you can so easily see beyond his 'tough-guy' act.
Hell, sometimes you just follow them around like a lost puppy, too, just to soak in some bonding time. Erwin actually really enjoys this, liking the quiet joy that comes with having you help him with important documents. Levi may huff and puff about it, sometimes waving you off when others comment on you being his shadow, yet know that deep down he takes a lot of pride in your presences.
Yep. They're both wrapped around your silent little finger. Do what you want with this information.
#erwin smith x reader#aot erwin#commander erwin#levi ackerman x reader#levi attack on titan#attack on titan#aot x reader#aot headcanons#x reader
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MK11 intros
warning: sexually implied, curse words, violence mentioned.
Doing a little Mortal kombat writing heheh.. also this is just fanfiction, not canon lol. You can drop Y/N ocs suggestions if you like!
character: Y/N is another Lin Kuei of the clan. Well, a samurai Lin Kuei. Before he were born, a Lin Kuei ninja married a female samurai from japan. The mother d!ed in childbirth, so the father used her katana as his own weapon, to serve Lin Kuei and to protect his son. When he fell in battle, the young Y/N inherited the blade. Kuai Liang raised Y/N as his own son, making him a better warrior fit to be the first Lin Kuei samurai in history. Y/N also has a deep connection with the katana, he always hears his mother's voice while wielding the blade. He has cryomancer abilties.. just not the same as everyone in his clan. Without his mother's katana, he can't do cryomancing abilities. When he does, the katana inherits cryomancing abilties, can be turned into a frost weapon much like Kuai Liang's frost sword in MKX. (He and Takeda also had a friendly rivalry. Like a resemblance of Sub-Zero vs Scorpion, but kombat kids).
PART 1.
CASSIE CAGE
Cassie Cage: I know you're useless without that magical sword of yours.
Y/N: (Smirked cockily) For me, it is quite the opposite.
Cassie Cage: Well run it, B*tch.
—
Y/N: Has anyone ever tell you you're a great leader?
Cassie Cage: (Chuckles) Well am I?
Y/N: No.
—
Cassie Cage: Aren't you the guy who's heart's supposed to be.. "cold"?
Y/N: Yet my heart burns when I see you.
Cassie Cage: Oh get a load of this guy..
—
Y/N: I seek Takeda Takahashi for a rematch with him.
Cassie Cage: Aw, couldn't you just spar with me instead?
Y/N: Later, woman.
—
Cassie Cage: Say hi to your mom for me!
Y/N: She says hi, mother. (The katana glows and makes a noise of appreciation)
Cassie Cage: Aw..
—
Y/N: You're father is getting a wrong idea of us, Cassandra.
Cassie Cage: Oh. Wait— so who are we, exactly?
Y/N: That's a question you must answer.
—
Y/N: Your mother told me about bob.
Cassie Cage: Ugh. First, tell her it's Dylan. And second, why do you care?
Y/N: I can treat you better..
JOHNNY CAGE
Johnny Cage: Are you sure you and Cassie aren't.. keeping a secret from us? (Raised brow and smirked)
Y/N: You've kept many of your porn tapes secret.
Johnny Cage: Ah. (nodded) Soooo.. does that mean you have a secret with her too?
—
Y/N: Look.. whatever you think it was, it's NOT what you think, Mr Cage.
Johnny Cage: You two are like Harry and Sally, brings a tear in my eye.
Y/N: ... Fucking cold winds of hell.
—
Johnny Cage: Marry Cassie and be hollywood royalty.
Y/N: I love the offer, but I don't need becoming "royalty" to prove I am the greatest.
Johnny Cage: Just trust me bro.
—
Y/N: Making new movies, Mr. Cage?
Johnny Cage: When I'm done with the sequel.. you, my friend, are V.I.P.
Y/N: That isn't so bad..
—
Johnny Cage: Y'know you remind me of Sonya. (Chuckles) you got her grumpiness.
Y/N: Is that good or bad..?
Johnny Cage: Well friend.. you tell me.
—
Y/N: Earthrealm's mightiest champion.
Johnny Cage: Mini-Blueberry ice.
Y/N: Another disgrace.
—
Johnny Cage: Tell your mom I said hi.
Y/N: He says hi, mother. (Katana glows a bit of energy, just not the same energy with Cassie)
Johnny Cage: Ah, she loves me.
SONYA BLADE
Sonya Blade: Johnny's having theories about you.
Y/N: And all of them aren't true.
Sonya Blade: I'll find out.
—
Y/N: You're the mother I never had.
Sonya Blade: I don't mind adopting a grown man.
Y/N: I know that meant "recruiting more young blood".
—
Sonya Blade: You fight your mother in your dreams?
Y/N: It is called "training".
Sonya Blade: Sounds like she and I are the same.
—
Y/N: You know, I have never felt so intimidated by a woman before..
Sonya Blade: Maybe because you haven't met one until now.
Y/N: A deservedly low blow, Mrs Blade.
—
Sonya Blade: You have potential of being a part of Special Forces.
Y/N: I belong to the Lin Kuei, they're my family.
Sonya Blade: Special Forces will be your family when you suck it up.
—
Y/N: Let me tell you, I've never had any mutual connections with your daughter.
Sonya Blade: She spends time with you more than she did with others, including her friends!
Y/N: To be fair, I AM far more superior than them.
—
Sonya Blade: Kuai Liang didn't teach you hard enough.
Y/N: What makes you think you're better than him?
Sonya Blade: Here's your first lesson, Y/N.
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belladonna of sadness
Content: hotch x reader, unrequited love, pure angst, like pure pure angst, no happy ending, rossi being the greatest father figure you ever had, 3k.
A/N: Bruh, I'm so into Hotch these days that I've decided to write a fic about him after being on hiatus for almost 3 years. I just had to get these feelings out of my system. You people don't understand the intensity of my feels rn. I considered ending it on a happier note but then I decided that the angst is just so much better. Yes, my mother Stevie Nicks just had to be in this one.
"I'm leaving BAU, Dave," you finally breathed out the words that had been gnawing at the smooth walls of your stomach for what felt like an eternity.
It was a windy Friday night, and everyone from the team had already left after a particularly tiring case. Their thoughts were heavy, and their bodies yearned for rest and relaxation. You, on the other hand, dreaded going home, knowing that nothing but a cold bed awaited you there. It was a feeling that had haunted you for the past few years.
So, you did what you do best and immersed yourself in your work, catching up with everyone's paperwork and going through potential case files. Rossi decided to help you despite your stern protests.
The older agent's head snapped in your direction, utter confusion written all over his face.
"Why?" was all that he could muster.
"They offered me a teaching position at Cambridge. Maybe you don't know this, but I've always wanted a career in academia," you tapped your pen against the case file spread out in front of you as a lie passed your lips ever so nonchalantly.
"Don't even bother with petty lies, kiddo. It's because of him, isn't it?" Rossi sighed and ran his fingers through his colored hair.
You bit your lip anxiously, finally dropping all of your defense mechanisms. Despair that had been lightly simmering within you started boiling, burning your insides in a way that you had almost grown accustomed to over the past few months.
You let out a choked "yes," and all of a sudden, violent shakes overtook your tired body. All of the emotions that had been bottled up for ten years spilled out and wrecked every fine fiber of your being. You didn't know why you chose to tell Rossi everything that night. Maybe because he was the closest thing you ever had to a father, or maybe because you secretly hoped that he would make everything all right, like he always did.
"I just can't stand seeing him so damn happy with her, Dave. I know how selfish that sounds, but I've been nothing but selfless all these years. I've been there for him when he lost Haley. I've done everything I could to help him heal from that tremendous wound, and yet he still chose Beth. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything, Dave, but I'm just tired. He chose that stranger over me," you broke down completely, sobbing uncontrollably.
Rossi said nothing. For the first time in his life, he was rendered speechless. He knew you liked Hotch, but he never thought it was this deep and serious.
Now that the dam holding your emotions was shattered to dust particles, you continued.
"It hurts to be in the same room with him, David. It hurts so damn much. That man has brought so much pain and misery into my life, but I still love him as much as I did on the day that I first met him. It was easier when he was with Haley. I never had any hopes, but when she died, I thought..." you let out a bitter laugh, unable to finish that thought.
"You must think I'm an awful person."
Rossi just shook his head gently.
"Darling, you're just a human being."
"What is wrong with me, Dave? Why didn't he choose me?" you lifted your knees to your chest and buried your face in them.
Rossi stood up and wrapped his arms around your quivering form. You looked like a little child, so small and vulnerable. He wanted to scoop you up, kiss your forehead, and make things right, but he knew he couldn't. This was out of his control.
"Nothing is wrong with you, sweetheart. He just can't control whom he falls in love with. These things happen. You could be the most beautiful, the most brilliant, the most wonderful person in the world, which you are, but even that is not enough when it comes to love," he whispered in your ear.
"You know, I always tell people my job is the reason why I never got married, but the truth is, I love Aaron too much. The thought of loving another man twisted my insides in a way that no case could ever. I was so hopelessly loyal to him all these years, Dave. I wasted my life dreaming that one day he would love me back," you hurried to spill those words from your mouth, scared that your vocal cords would betray you before you could confess your deepest secret to someone.
For some strange reason, you looked for pity that night. You were so miserable by that point, and you just wanted someone to acknowledge your misery. People always sought the validation of their pain. They wanted to make sure that their problems were real, that they were not overreacting or imagining things, thinking that compassion and pity would do them some good. They never did.
Rossi took your head in his hands and forced you to look at him.
"We love to be in control; we love to think that our actions will somehow affect the outcome of our lives, but oh, how wrong are we. Sure, you can control certain aspects of your life, such as your career or hobbies, or any other man-made field, but we are helpless when it comes to things that matter. Maybe that is why we value love and friendship so much; because we can't choose who we fall in love with or which people we meet. All of those things happen naturally; one day you just wake up and realize that you've become best friends with someone without being able to pinpoint the exact moment in which the strong bond was created. Perhaps there is someone somewhere on this planet who could understand you better and love you better, but you will never meet them because you were not destined to meet them. Your love for him matters. Don't think that it was all for nothing because you did help him. You helped him a lot," he spoke slowly.
"The pain is unbearable, Rossi," you muttered lowly, tears finally ceasing.
"Until one day it gets bearable, and then it gets lighter, and then it turns into a shadow, and one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. You need time to heal. You need to do everything you can to help that process, even if it means moving halfway across the world," he got up and poured himself a glass of whiskey, visibly shaken by your sudden confession.
"Thank you. I appreciate everything you did for me," you stood up, legs still shaking.
"You are welcome. I'm always here for you," he smiled a pained smile.
"Actually, I have a favor, or two to ask."
"Anything."
"Promise me you won't tell him or anyone else on the team what you heard tonight in this room. Ever," you stared at him firmly with your puffy eyes filled with pure determination.
"I promise," Rossi didn't hesitate for even a second.
"Also, can you please host one last party for me? I'm leaving on Monday. Everything has already been settled with the higher-ups, so Aaron won't bother with that. I just want to see you all for one last time," you genuinely smiled at him.
"I'll make sure to gather them all on Sunday evening."
"Thank you, Dave," you walked up to him and kissed his cheek.
Before he could reply, you were already at the door.
~
You watched the people you considered your family lounging carelessly in Rossi's living room from your spot on the kitchen counter and hummed lightly along the tune of "Summer Wine" that played softly in the background. The chain of anxiety and guilt that wrapped itself around your lungs constricted just a little bit tighter at the mere thought of the task ahead of you.
They all looked so happy, and that made you doubt your decision, but one look at the man responsible for your current state reminded you that you had to do it.
Garcia laughed at something Morgan said, and you couldn't fight back a smile of your own.
"Better sooner than later," you heard Dave's whisper as he closed the wine cabinet after finding what he was looking for.
"I'm not telling them, David. I don't have it in me to watch their hearts get broken," you sighed softly, tracing soft patterns on a cool glass filled with orange juice.
"I know it's not my decision to make, but" Rossi started, but you quickly interrupted him by pushing yourself off the counter and walking toward the grand piano next to a huge window.
You smiled fondly at all of the memories created in that very spot. Ever since Dave returned to the team, you had a habit of dining at his place at least once a month. That's how the team found out about your affinity toward music. Playing for them brought you joy you hadn't felt since you played at your mother's parties.
You ran a finger down the keys, and as if on cue, they all gathered around you. The ability to bring happiness into your team's difficult lives kept you going for years. Now, it just wasn't enough.
Morgan and Garcia sat on a small sofa close to the grand piano. Emily, JJ, and Reid leaned against the kitchen island with drinks in their hands. Rossi stood behind you with worry written all over his features. He didn't even hide it anymore. Hotch must have picked it up as he furrowed his eyebrows, watching both of you from his spot in the living room.
Sitting down with a heavy sigh, you spoke.
"You know, it occurred to me that I never played you guys my favorite song. I was saving it for a special occasion, but what the hell."
As soon as those words left your lips, an interlude for "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You" started playing.
This song was a central piece of your most grandiose dream - marrying Hotch. You imagined playing it for the guests at your reception. As your fingers gracefully glided across the piano keys, the music filled the air with a sweet melody that resonated with the emotions of the day. Hotch's steps were gentle and deliberate as he approached you, a smile on his face, and love in his eyes. You, lost in the music and the joy of the occasion, were momentarily unaware of his presence. As he wrapped his arms around you, you felt his warmth and presence, and your heart skipped a beat. Your embrace was a symbol of your unity, your journey together, and the promise of a lifetime of happiness.
You squeezed your eyes shut as tears threatened to spill at any moment.
Has anyone ever written anything for you?
In all your darkest hours,
Have you ever heard me sing?
The pain in your chest multiplied by a thousand and stood as a stark reminder of the deep connection between mind and body. It was a physical manifestation of the emotional damage you had endured for too many years, a silent cry for help that demanded acknowledgment and healing. Your voice cracked. Ignoring it, you opened your eyes, which immediately found him, and carried on.
Listen to me now
You know I'd rather be alone
Than be without you
Don't you know?
No matter how painful his gaze filled with pity and fatherly compassion was, you didn't stop. Tears blurred your vision, but you knew you had to do it. This was the only way. The right way.
Has anyone ever given anything to you?
In your darkest hour
Did you ever give it back?
Well, I have
I have given that to you
If it's all I ever do
This is your song
A pair of hands wrapped around your shoulders in the gentlest of manners, and you felt Emily's ragged breath on top of your head. You leaned back against her warm and protective chest.
And the rain comes down
There's no pain and there's no doubt
It was easy to say, I believed in you every day
If not for me, then do it for the world
But there was pain, and it filled the whole house. It seized the hearts of your teammates as well. Garcia's loud sob managed to reach your ears even through the music. You didn't look at her. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't tear your eyes away from a single tear that traveled down Hotch's beautiful face.
You managed to rasp out the final words.
So if not for me, then do it for yourself
If not for me, then do it for the world
Suddenly, the air in the living room became incredibly heavy, suffocating you to the point where you thought your whole body would snap in two. Before anyone could react, you jumped out of Emily's arms and ran toward the door that led to the backyard.
Crisp October air filled your cramped lungs instantly, and you allowed yourself to breathe. Goosebumps formed under the long, flowy chiffon sleeves of your dress of choice for that night, and you couldn't tell if it was from the cold breeze or the whirlwind of emotions wreaking havoc inside of you. Your gaze climbed up and steadied itself on the full moon stuck to the heavens above. The moon had been your best friend for such a long time, and you pitied her for having to listen to your hushed secrets and anguished cries. The tears had dried along the way, and you looked at her with wide and watery eyes. You wanted nothing more than to climb up there, hide yourself in whatever hole she offered you, and wither away.
A presence next to you disturbed you from your train of thought, and soon after, Hotch's scent empowered every one of your senses.
"Beautiful. Isn't she?" you broke the silence, your tone of voice back to normal.
"Yes. I haven't looked up at the sky in such a long time," he crossed his arms over his chest.
You hummed mostly to yourself as you took another step toward the edge of Rossi's porch.
"How is Jack doing? With so much work at our hands, I haven't been able to visit him in what feels like months," you placed your elbows on the wooden fence in front, leaning at the same time in a desperate attempt to create more space between the two of you.
"Good. Great, actually. He's been asking about you, wondering why you don't stop at ours as much as you used to. I've been asking myself the same question for quite a while," he didn't miss a beat and mimicked your movements, letting his forearm brush against yours in the process.
In an instant, the ache soared in your chest again, and you let out a strangled breath.
"How is Beth doing? Jack seems to be in love with her as much as you are," choosing to ignore his remark, you shook an invisible knife penetrating your very soul, driven by a masochistic urge to wound it even deeper.
"I was planning on dropping by her place after the dinner. We haven't seen..." before he could finish, he was cut off by your shrill voice. You just couldn't take it.
"Stop it. I can't take it anymore, Hotch. I'll die if you finish that sentence," you haven't realized that teardrops started painting your face again.
"Darling, please. Don't do this," came in the form of a hoarse croak.
"No, Aaron, you broke my heart, you broke my entire life. You are the one who practically raised me long before Rossi came along. I built my life around you. Look at me, Aaron," you sobbed while turning to face him.
"I'm a pale shadow of a woman that I once was. Look at my face, look at these lines between my brows. Look at this hair falling out. Look how old my hands look, my skin almost see-through, frail."
He said nothing and just looked at you through his tears.
"You want to know the worst part of it all? You are so worth it, my love. You are so worth it. I would choose this life with you amongst all of the happier versions without you in it. I would go through all of this immeasurable pain over and over and over again just to see you smile that rare smile of yours that sends me into rapture. I would choose you even if you don't choose me. Always and for as long as I live," you poured your heart in front of him, watching him for what you knew would be the last time, trying to memorize every feature of his handsome face.
"I'm so sorry, I truly am," he finally wrapped his limp hands around your smaller form.
He couldn't help but notice how perfectly your body was snug against his, how warm you were, and how you smelled like oranges and vanilla.
"It is okay, baby. There is nothing to be sorry about; it's not your fault. You can't choose whom you fall in love with," you repeated Rossi's words in his white shirt, forever ruining it with whatever makeup was left on your face.
His grip around your shoulders tightened as if he was trying to push you into his ribcage in a desperate attempt to get even closer to you. Hotch's hot tears trickled down your neck and ended up being soaked into the fabric of your dress. You finally relaxed in his warm embrace, all of the intense feelings making you slump against him.
"I'm so sorry that I can't give you what you deserve," he whispered against your ear and proceeded to kiss your temple.
At that moment, something just snapped inside you, as if someone cut the electric wiring in the middle of a rave party. Darkness painted your insides and numbness finally settled in.
You pulled away from him and cupped his face in your small hands.
"Here's what we're gonna do, Hotch. You and I will wipe away these tears. Then we will go inside, and we will pretend that this never happened, just like you pretended that my feelings never existed for the past 10 years. We are going to play and sing and laugh with our friends. Then we will come into the office tomorrow, and JJ will brief us on our latest case, and life will go on," your voice was utterly devoid of any emotion as you lied to him in the most blatant and shameless way and wiped his face with the fabric of your sleeve.
The dullness of your eyes frightened Hotch more than anything he had ever seen in his life, but before he could respond, you started dragging him back inside with a fake smile plastered on your face.
"Let's go back inside, my love. Tomorrow is a new day."
#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#ssa hotchner#hotch x reader#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner x female reader#ssa aaron hotchner#david rossi#emily prentiss#derek morgan#spencer reid#bau#hotch angst#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotch imagine
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~~Chapter 2~~
(Ao3 link at the bottom, updates Tuesdays)
Ben has been to a fair number of memorably awkward dinners in his life. From soothing the inevitable culture shock of new dignitaries come to orbit the galactic senate, to peace treaty signings that ended in assassinations rather than weddings; between being a traveling jedi master and living on the ecumenopolis that is Coruscant… he has seen a thing or two.
Yet somehow this dinner was going to make the greatest hits list of phenomenally awkward events.
"Here Ben, have some more topato salad," Beru offers, nudging the bowl toward him.
He isn’t very hungry after all the rest of the admittedly fine meal, but discretion is indeed the better part of valor. The jedi-in-exile takes another two spoonfuls rather than decline. He plans to stretch the two bites to six or seven tiny ones.
"Thank you, Beru," Ben says with a smile. "I must say, your creativity with topato is astounding. I really didn't know you could do this many things with them."
Across the table, Owen is trying to light him on fire with his eyes. He ignores the other man. He has nothing on Mace in a mood, and there really isn’t anything for it. Either the moisture farmer would come to like him well enough, or he would not .
Besides, Luke is sitting in his highchair, talking baby nonsense and gumming adorably at mashed topatos. How could anyone be in a bad mood around that* ? If Owen manages to keep his snit going, Ben will simply have to write it off as a chronic and incurable condition.
"I think the topato cakes are a new favorite of mine," he throws out, trying to keep the conversation topic of root vegetables going as long as possible, "Although the casserole was a close second. The hass… hmm… what was it you called it? The accordion cuts on the full one?"
"A 'hasselback'," Beru offers, preening about it, and clearly ignoring Owen’s grumpiness as well. "My grandpa taught me how to do that one."
"Ah yes! That was it. The hasselback was particularly impressive, and rather fun to eat."
He means that, too. When half your crop is topatoes and you come up with this many different ways to prepare them, it really is impressive.
Beru pats his hand, "I'm so glad you've enjoyed everything, Ben. Don't worry, I'll send you home with leftovers."
"Don't spoil me too much!" he jokes with a laugh, but speaks from a place of honesty. It isn't like he has a conservator to put anything in.
Luke replies for the room, big blue eyes squinting closed as he squeals happily, just a hair below the frequency needed to crack glass. Beru snorts at the baby, tidying his face and returning several spoons of mash from highchair table to infant-sized bowl. Even Owen's frown pulls up a hint in amusement.
Conversation fails to pick back up after Luke's outburst though. Alas, the root vegetable topic has run its course. Ben focuses intently on his tiny bites of creamy, oniony salad.
The chatter hasn't been dead more than a minute when he catches Beru giving her husband a black look. Owen tries to dodge its potency by hiding behind a mouthful of bread roll, but that only takes him so far.
Suddenly the man jumps, banging a knee on the underside of the table… almost like someone had stomped on his foot down there.
Ben inspects his shiny, scratched up dinner spoon, and waits.
There's another stint of quiet while they get into it in silence, speaking in the wordless language of couples everywhere. There's eyerolls, pointed glances toward the couch, flat looks, and raised brows.
Ben can tell that Owen has lost when the man actually speaks more than five words in a row for the first time all night.
"Say… wizard. There's something I want to ask you," he prods, gruff.
The jedi perks up, trying to exude friendliness. "Certainly, what is it?"
"Luke's grandma was allergic to somethin' in vizza wheat. Was wondering if you knew how to check for that without doin’ it the hard way."
"Or if you knew if either of his parents had…?" Beru adds.
Ben rubs his chin thoughtfully, grateful for the regrowth of hair that had somehow come back in much fuller than before, despite no change in habit. Perhaps he was simply acclimatizing?
"Now that I think about it, Anakin would get a stomach ache if he ate too much bread. I would guess it was simply a mild gluten intolerance? Luke could have that as well."
Owen looks down at the remains of breadroll in his hands, skeptical. "He was intolerant of something in all bread?"
Ben shakes his head in a negative, hands lowering. "Different flours can have very little or a great deal of gluten. A little was fine for him, like the bread needed for a kebob or fried food? But a bread pudding would give him indigestion for hours, and make him cranky besides."
Beru smiles, seemingly more pleased than the conversation warranted. "Well that's good to know! We'll have to try giving our little man here just a bit, and see how he does."
"So we do it the hard way after all," Owen grumbles, "You really don't got any fancy wizard tricks to check?"
Ben laments not having the blood test device that jedi used to carry as commonly as most people would keep a datapad on hand. It would have done the trick, and well… he is curious about the boy's midichlorian count.
"No, I'm sorry. There's a device that could do it, but I don't have one."
Beru waves him off. "A clue from his dad is more than we had to start with, Ben. Don't stress about it."
He nods, and tries not to, going back to his last two mini-bites of topato.
The conversation wobbles to life here and there, just enough that the rest of the night feels a bit awkward, but not truly stilted or painful. They make it to dessert, where Luke's sweet tooth joy carries the adults the rest of the way until it's time to say goodnight.
Beru invites him to stay, citing the desert's dangers as the suns disappear, but by that point Ben longs for his quiet little cave. He does not, however, escape without an abundance of leftovers.
It is a long, quiet walk back across the sands to his hideaway. The darkened interior greets Ben with freshly sand-coated floors and the skitter of nighttime creatures. The shape of stone and surface are unlit by the wan moonlight outside, but that’s quite alright. He has long since memorized the form of his space in the dark.
“I’m back!” he tells the dusty air, shuffling carefully in the pitch black to get to the bed. “I had a lovely time at the Lars’. Beru’s topato game is really something.”
The wrapped containers he’d been given are set along the back wall, where a shelf-like protrusion holds a few things. Mostly nice rocks he’s found here and there.
“I’ve more leftovers than I know what to do with…” Ben complains.
He does. They’re fine in the chilly night, but won’t last through the heat of the day tomorrow. “I suppose I shall… simply have to eat as much of them as possible.”
The thought of eating a feast for the second day in a row turns his stomach.
“Or well… perhaps some of the rock lizards would like a bite?”
No one replies, but that’s to be expected.
“Yes, I think I shall share.”
#star wars#fanfiction#this is a slower chapter#we're setting him up for chaos and suffering i promise :)#ben kenobi#obiwankenobi#obi wan#obi wan kenobi#obiwan kenobi#kenobi#obimaul#tatooine#beru whitesun#owen lars#luke skywalker#topatoes#Star wars food#Star wars tcw#post clone wars#ao3#writers of Tumblr#Star wars the clone wars#swtcw#inundation
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Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?
This is my thought on them too. Anon explained really well. I see the same when I look at them. One of them wanna get more friendly but other's shields up and visa versa :I
(the quote comes from this anon and possibly also this one I'd received before)
I've tried giving this a look at other angles since obv none of us knows - and likely won't ever know - for sure, and I think the one way I can see this being the case is mixed signals? bc I feel like it being deliberate on either of their parts is too far a stretch.
long thing below and usual caveat that no I do not write this stuff thinking I actually know what's going on and it's just for fun and I do not take it seriously !!
like on the one hand, for a while before and even after meeting Oscar, Lando kept having to hear about this "rookie" who'd soon be his teammate and how he'd be the more experienced one etc. jokes about him "looking after" the new kid and how is he settling in blah blah. none of which Lando was remotely enthused about, understandably so. unlike team sports, mentoring isn't really something teammates do for each other in racing since they're each other's greatest measure of competition.
and Lando joined F1 so young (and was in the McLaren development program even younger) that while his talent and personality often deceives a lot of people into thinking he's become established and experienced, Lando himself doesn't rate experience much when it isn't bringing race wins or the WDC any closer. and his personality on camera was largely defined by latching onto Carlos and Daniel. he was a little more vulnerable around Carlos but mostly the dynamic of big brother/baby brother was the same for both those relationships. Lando with Max F and the Quadrant folks is pretty different to who he is with those older guys.
so it's easy to see why he didn't feel at all prepared to play the role that everyone kept assuming for him when Oscar came along. and re this babbling I did I genuinely think the difference between how young and small Oscar still was when they first met in winter of 2022 to the infamous "did you grow, what the fuck" moment was transformational for Lando. you look at his eyes gluing themselves to Oscar when Oscar isn't looking and the cheeky way he keeps getting Oscar's attention - and the way Oscar can't hide his surprise and how pleased he is - and I truly think the dynamic started to shift from a sort of stiff friendliness to Lando being genuinely interested in this guy.
Lando said himself that before the season properly started, he and Oscar had been so busy when they were in the same space that they didn't really talk beyond hello and goodbye. which needn't have been the case. I think a fair part of that was Lando's poor bruised heart at having Carlos leave and then Daniel being bought out, just not ready to deal with what he could fairly assume would be some younger guy jumping in wanting to do the bromance bit and glom onto Lando's popularity - all while probably cynically planning to strategize a way to a better seat or maybe one day take Lando's place at McLaren. his knowledge of Oscar at that point was of what a strong up and coming threat he was and that he had the balls/audacity (depending who you ask) to go up against his development team. and that Oscar had gone F1 fandom viral multiple times and was actually an existing personality to F2 and F3 circles. nothing about Oscar seemed vulnerable or unsure and yet people would not stop asking Lando about him as if he were Lando's responsibility.
and as Oscar said, his low frequency personality can often get mistaken (even by Mahk Wibba!) for not caring or being engaged. and if someone wasn't aware of his social media then I could see them thinking that someone as cool and calm as Oscar was almost aloof or disinterested.
with that limited knowledge, Lando would have been right to be wary. hell, Lando was distinctly cool toward Daniel when Daniel showed up pushing the 'landan' agenda as replacing carlando. we all know they ofc became good friends. but we also know that Lando wasn't remotely going to be guilted by Netflix or the fans into feeling responsible or overly concerned for Daniel's struggles. Lando was still very young and focusing on cementing his place in the sport. Daniel's inner and outer turmoil as a 30-something was for him to deal with.
so knowing what we now do of Oscar, this was not an ideal setup for him to meet the driver and new teammate - The Lando Norris - who he'd been a fan of for almost all of his junior career.
and on Oscar's side, it is extremely safe to say that after the Alpine/DR drama he just wanted to get his head down and prove to McLaren he wouldn't be any trouble and was more than willing to put in overtime at MTC and solo with the engineers (I think he essentially said this in the Laura Winter interview). his time spent in the car would speak for itself. but I feel like it's also fair to assume that Oscar not only being a fan of Lando's already but also knowing that he was following in Daniel's wake, Oscar mostly tried to just… not be a problem for Lando. that he put all the power and control over how their relationship developed outside of the track and meetings fully into Lando's hands - if indeed a relationship would develop (and it doesn't always). Oscar was used to looking after himself and he'd probably preferred to not risk upsetting Lando's routine or worse, pissing him off. I would not be at all surprised if that's what Oscar assumed was the safest, simplest approach.
but !! Oscar not launching into a bromance for the sake of his own image and him not trying to push for a relationship immediately for the sake of cementing the partnership would absolutely have felt weird and alien to Lando. and considering what was popularly said about Oscar following the Alpine stuff, him not pushing himself into Lando's space possibly would've come off as distant or cold and probably a bit calculating/cocky. maybe even a bit as if Oscar was so sure of himself, his youth and so laser focused on his own advancement (and boy did Netflix frame it up that way, dramatic Dutch angle and all) that it seemed as if he didn't see the point or the need in benefiting from an alliance with Lando. again - that's just possible conclusions that someone like Lando who hates having his stability threatened might have felt.
this is an even more HUGE leap but we know that Oscar visibly watched Lando closely since the start of the season and was learning from him and about him. and that Andrea had already instilled his new 'team before driver competition' ethos. and that Lando had seen examples of Oscar showing up for him - as a teammate at least - when their relative 'fortunes' before the updates would regularly see Lando in a better position or a better result. and like, if I were to truly jump to a conclusion here I'd say that Lando's gradual thaw in between Australia and Monaco absolutely delighted Oscar - and that he wouldn't have expected any more from Lando at all. Lando being chummy with him during media and a bit of bonding over the state of the car at the time could easily have felt more than enough for Oscar. (and just to throw in here as well that in those much earlier videos together, there were little flashes of Lando's sarcasm bordering on passive agressive but Oscar just laughing delightedly. like I think he fully either didn't mind or didn't notice that Lando was bleeding a bit of genuine annoyance over the car into their dynamic at times. the British theory test is a very good example of that.) whereas from Lando's perspective, maaaaaybe Oscar being so content with so little effort from him - compared to Carlos and Daniel - could have confirmed his suspicion that Oscar wasn't actually interested in being truly friends or bonding? idk that's me really exploring a big blue vague space asgfjlsagf. even more than I already do lol.
now I'm not saying at ALL that these friendships are remotely phony or PR because they're absolutely close in real life! but there's also no doubt in saying that like a lot of the drivers, Carlos and Daniel show up to a new teammate with the usual bromance shtick in their back pocket. and with how successful carlando and dando have proven to be with fans and sponsors and networks, they play into it with just a touch of cynicism even now. again, not saying that's nefarious at all and Lando's no dummy when it comes to personal brands and "shipping" etc. the boy is a youtuber/streamer lol so he /knows/. but yea, the 'oooh aren't we acting gay!' and overly touchy feely stuff especially is entirely for the fans' benefit. and we eat it up aslgfjsagf.
but Oscar has literally never had a bromance in any of the stages of his career and he doesn't publicize any of his non-racing friendships like the boys from boarding school he's still close to. we know he has probably a higher level of awareness of queer existence/culture than most of these guys and he doesn't hide it. I know the bar is in hell but it's significant enough that Oscar's never once used 'gay' as either an insult or as a hilarious joke - and he's had an active presence on social media since 2019 (his dad managed everything before that). when a Prema challenge was for him to kiss someone in the room and Arthur kept pushing, we know from the thumbnail that Oscar gave him a kiss through the covid plexiglass and then rolled around giggling. but he didn't treat kissing a guy in particular as 'hilarious' and he's never 'played gay' with any other guys. he also doesn't talk about Lily as if she's an accessory or "his". he brings her up in the context of things they did together or things she told him etc. the boy just doesn't know any degree of toxic masculinity apparently!!
where this gets confusing for Lando is that men are always dying to touch or cuddle or fawn over him - whether it's as a cute little brother like Carlos does (sorry fellow carlandos but that's the non-rpf truth) as a stereotypical bromance like Daniel does (and oh how I love that his ass caught feelings when he didn't mean to) or some potent mixture of fondness and attraction, which constitutes basically every other man who's met Lando.
and god knows I've written time and again how poor Lando does not know what to do with Oscar when Oscar looks with such intensity and he says so many things that show Lando respect and care and kindness. but he simply will not touch him ?? and he won't even half-fake half-serious flirt with him !! and he won't even take the bait when a bromance moment is pushed on them ! and when they're pressed close like in Twister, Oscar looks pink and flustered and refuses to put his leg between Lando's even though Daniel and Carlos have practically wrestled Lando with limbs akimbo multiple times. Oscar initiating the side hug at Silverstone was such an event that even Lando looked staggered by it. that's so strange !! Oscar is not remotely homophobic and he's not at all stand-offish physically and he's fine with people touching and hugging him. sure he doesn't do excessive PDA even with Lily but he still does some. he clearly is fond of Lando and doesn't mind when Lando decides to touch him. but we haven't even seen them hug ! and Oscar will give Lando such sincere praise and respect but he won't use hyperbole or make jokes like Carlos saying he was jealous of Lando liking Daniel or Daniel cracking sexual jokes about him and Lando.
and I fully feel like that breaks Lando's brain a little and has to make him falter at times bc everyone touches Lando and crosses easily over into some form of casual intimacy with him. Lando hides absolutely nothing and is extremely easy going. people feel very comfortable engaging with him, knowing that he'll play along so long as they're being kind or friendly.
and I think that's where the decision Lando made to let his brattier moods out around Oscar comes from. it's a very weird sort of compliment to Oscar that Lando isn't worried about pissing him off or being rejected - and I think it came from Lando being a little frustrated with Oscar for not falling in line with how everyone else is with him and not being able to get a secure read on how Oscar feels about him. as well as like I said earlier how Lando would be a little passive aggressive in his humor but Oscar never took offense. so Lando lets all his petulance and impatience come out around Oscar in a way I don't really know that he does much with anyone else? I think there's been a few times he's gotten like that around Max but Max has a good strong hand with him. but even when Lando goes Full Brat like the beloved Tic Tac Toe filming day Oscar is still endlessly charmed by Lando and you can see Lando soften and blush bc he knows he’s really letting it all out and Oscar is still being so good with him. Carlos would’ve picked him up and put him in a bin and Daniel would’ve out bratted him ajsbjsbsjd.
we know that Silverstone was a huge stepping stone for Lando and Oscar's relationship but I wish I could pinpoint before then when it was that Oscar realized just how much he couldn't apply his former racing friendships as a model for interacting with Lando. that Lando is anything but 'typical blokey guy' and even more than that, he isn't remotely typical or like anyone else in any way. definitely it was after Australia and by Austria the shift had already happened and we could see Lando watching Oscar as much as Oscar watched Lando. the trust and beginnings of feeling comfortable had already begun to be earned before Silverstone for sure.
and by the time he did this BTG interview, the genuinely fond way he talked about Oscar and mentioned the ways they're similar is such a major shift from simply saying that Oscar is calm and super quiet and fast as a driver. then we hit Singapore (where Lando sought Oscar out to spray champagne on him) the double podiums and Oscar's extension.
and then the Austin weekend and the filming they did and Lando posting that beautiful photo of Oscar smiling back at him all seems to have brought them to a place where yea, if we're being honest the lingering looks and the sense of sweetness to their shared humor is the dynamic we've had ever since.
and at this point I think what people are mistaking for a fakeout or misunderstanding is just that their lives outside of racing are so vastly different. Lando is in perpetual motion and constantly in demand and if you don't do a common activity with him like golf or padel then good luck catching him. whereas Oscar has been snared by a growth spurt that seems like it's still going on and he's either sleeping, sleeping, sleeping some more, spending time with Lily, sleeping, or spending time with his friends if possible. so there just isn't really an overlap with how their lives are right now.
to go out on another pretty out there limb, the one thing I might say is that Oscar still defaults to letting Lando call the shots about how much he wants to spend time together outside of being teammates. his own life is so uncomplicated that from his perspective it would feel a little daunting to try and insert himself in Lando's ever-changing schedule and multiple friend groups - esp since he already has so much time with Lando anyway due to the racing calendar. we know that it happens at times and that it's never broadcasted, only mentioned after the fact. it tends to be flying together or choosing to have lunch or after race meals together. the one time that rly gets to me is after Vegas when Lando could barely muster the energy to hit the tables with Max, Ria and Aarava. we find out later he spent at least part of that night with Oscar and someone mentioned that Oscar will have wanted to watch the cricket so like? it's kind of touching as well as saying a lot that the best time for their social lives to overlap is when it can be calm and quiet and Lando specifically does not want to be busy or loud. Lando dopey with painkillers and moody about crashing out of the race, possibly holed up in a hotel room with Oscar and the cricket playing on TV just sounds very sweet and likely. but other than those moments, their social lives just don't intersect easily. yet!!
but yea, I think ?? that by now they've kind of reached a comfortable place of knowing - at least for now - what their relationship is. it's why I honestly assumed Lando was finally doing the visit to Daniel's ranch and wouldn't be meeting up with Oscar in Australia. they're simply not to the point of coordinating off season schedules. even less of a surprise since he ended up spending less than 24 hours in Perth before he and Martin moved on!
ofc we as fans cannot get enough content of them together and just want more. but a lot of that is McLaren social media deciding to drop off just as McLaren started climbing up the grid ??? if they can get their shit together for 2024 then we'll see as much Lando and Oscar as we always did Lando with Carlos and Daniel.
#inchreplies#g o d I talk a fucking lot#bless you ppl who find it fun to read over breakfast or lunch bc at least it's entertaining someone other than just me !!#landoscar#inchidentallyanessay
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Fem!Reader, Ranpo's Ideal lover, kind of long, mentions of death, somewhat in order, fluff, angst-ish?
this writing is inspired by @literatureloverx (Please check our her works as well!)
𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐’𝒔 𝑰𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕💚
❧Ranpo is an eccentric and analytical individual. He's known to detache himself emotionally from situations to provide a better solution, and often has unique perspectives on different factors.
❧Meaningful connections seem out of his range other than the normal friendships and the father-son relationship between him and Fukuzawa due to his egocentric, childish behavior.
❧However, I feel if he finds someone who's more than willing to care for him and spoil him because of who he is, he'll definitely find himself falling for such an individual.
❧He's a childish and quirky person, yet being an INTP means he most likely won't be the one to initiate much with you until you form a closer bond. Such as, from simple coworkers to best friends and so on.
❧His desire to be spoiled and praised means a kind and motherly-like lover would be appreciated as his partner. To have someone who doesn't simply tolerate his actions, but embraces them as a part of his character.
❧Ranpo would prefer someone who can understand his perspectives, and indulge in the fantasies he conjures without thinking of the logical errors in them.
❧He would most likely enjoy if she thinks outside the box, as well as immerses herself in her own ideas and fantasies. He'd love to hear about whatever goes on in her pretty mind.
❧It's also no secret the way he behaves is to heal his inner child. After the death of his parents and being forced into the adult world at a young age, he wants to be treated as a part of both worlds.
❧He'll have his moments of clinging to her – more so than usual. He can't help but fear that some other guy may steal her away. A more manly person would sweep her off her feet and his sweetheart away from him.
❧He finds himself worried that he might not be manly enough for you, which can lead him to be somewhat envious in that area of other men such as Dazai or Kunikida.
❧She'll need to reassure him that he's more than enough, won't leave him, and spoil him with affection afterwards. He's not the jealous type, but he does get whiney when another man comes into the picture.
❧As stated in my headcanons, Ranpo will definitely use the 'greatest detective in the world' card against you (and against other random men), to gain your attention. (& fend off other men.)
❧He would admire a woman who's generosity exceeds the normality, but wouldn't take any disrespect.
❧She would have a nurturing, patient, and a positive spirit. These qualities would interest Ranpo, easing him into building a bond with her.
❧Once he figures out that she isn't entertaining him simply for being 'the world's greatest detective' he'll seek her out more.
❧Her empathetic nature and kindness – and will to spoil him – would draw him in, finding comfort in her presence. He easily reads other's, but he doesn't express much beyond childish emotions. To have a lover who knows this, and can see beyond that without violating his barriers, would be greatly adored.
❧I see him as a stray cat that won't go away after you show it a bit of care. He'll be stuck by your side, and eventually will find himself as yours.
❧Eye, skin, or hair color will not matter to him. I believe he'll have a preference for medium-length or long hair. He'll want to play with it as a part of his clinginess.
❧As a preference for a body types, I don't think Ranpo would mind being with someone chubby, but not overly. Like goldilocks except not too skinny but not too chubby either. (I'm sorry to all my lovely women! No offense, this is just how I imagine things!)
❧His sweetheart would display a sense of feminity in a mature way, but also in a childish fashion such as ribbons and such. A perfect mix between the two would remind him of his personality.
❧Confidence could also be a factor he searches for, but not the overbearing confidence that includes being mean or overly loud.
❧He'd admire your unspoken confidence, and the independent air around you.
❧He wouldn't care about the height(even if he's 5'6), or weight, considering it's rare that he won't be lazy to carry you.
❧He's a spoiled baby, and expects you to do some of the handiwork. Such as carrying him on your back or arms.
❧He'll be able to depict if your insecure, and he's willing to comfort you, and list any and everything he loves about you.
❧He won't be the type to say such things about your fitness and/or workout. If you do workout, he'll be annoying and sit on your back while your doing push-ups (like a damn princess.)
❧He'd also love a partner who shares his obsession with sweets or simply food in general. It'll give him something to share with you, as well as introducing each other to new foods.
❧She would also possess a love for baking and cooking, seeing as Ranpo wouldn't even think of having a proper meal without you reminding him.
❧Ranpo visions dates to be fairly simple, such as going to the café, the library, walks around the park –you're giving him a piggyback ride– and movies at his place.
❧Ranpo may be lazy, but he would help you with anything if you needed it. We all know he turns down some cases out of spite or laziness, but with you, he's more than happy to help. As long as you repay/praise him.
❧Although he has an interest for a somewhat independent lover, he wants you to rely on him just as much as he relies on you.
❧This is expressed when on missions with him, he'll offers you simple tasks and such, and vice versa.
❧He'll find himself slowly opening up to you, about his background and such. His lover should understand him. As someone who's childish, it's expected for his emotions to play.
❧He expects you to console him, and even though he'll know almost everything about you thanks to his super deduction, he wants to hear you tell him about your life.
❧In addition to him knowing about his sweetheart, he'll also have the ability to read your emotions fairly easily. This will boost communication.
❧Unless you happen to prefer being closed off, he'll –albeit reluctantly– wait until you're ready to speak about whatever is on your mind.
❧Overall, Ranpo's ideal lover has a sort of motherly attitude, but still manages to have her childish moments with him. She'll care and nurture Ranpo, as well as spoil and praise him for his accomplishments, minor or major.
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