#my work!!
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New One-shot!! Constuctive Criticism Appreciated!
Fandom: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Johnny Cade & Ponyboy Curtis
Characters: Ponyboy Curtis, Johnny Cade, Darrel "Darry" Curtis Jr., Greasers (The Outsiders)
Additional Tags: Vent?, Meant to be confusing, Ponyboy POV, Ponyboy Curtis Needs a Hug, Dead Johnny Cade, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Notes, Ponyboy Curtis Angst, dead best friend, Suicidal Ponyboy Curtis, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
Series: Part 2 of : ÌÌâ Outsiders Oneshots *àłàŒ
Summary:
âDo you know how it felt? To lose you, I mean. I suppose I canât explain. The world moves on, time continues, as if you never left at all.â
Johnny Cade is Gone. Nothing can change that. So Ponyboy takes it in to his own hands.
This fic is in fact my baby sorry i dont usually post my stuff on here lol
#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#darry curtis#dallas winston#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#ao3#oneshot#outsiders fanfic#my work!!
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First few pages of Ghost Stories (by me) is Out!!! Enjoy!!!
!heads-up! i put any other language in red for it to be easier to read, the story basically self explains the sentence and translates it for you so need to worry about language!!!
Languages Contained: Spanish, Portuguese. (more but we'll have to see how the story progresses)
GHOST STORIES
                                               By Unt1t3d
                    Position for Hire: âJâ
I don't like offices. I donât know if it's because they mean that something uncomfortable is being discussed or that I didnât organize anything myself, knowing that contents are probably where they donât belong. This tossed here, That cast aside there. But this office I hated the most. Not only was I uncomfortable, I was being pestered about âHow I feltâ and, âWhat I should do to get on a healthier path in lifeâ. Iâve never liked the âthis is a safe spaceâ shit they rant.Â
I didnât need to get healthier mentally, I needed to get better physically. I needed money. âJustice, are you alright?â The Therapist was nagging me, I noticed. âHuh? Oh, Yeah. I agree.â I spaced off a lot so I just pretended I knew what anyone was saying in a conversation. â I was just saying that you should get your work papers in order. I think a job might be just what you need to get yourself in the right headspace.â She said like she was talking to a toddler, writing notes on her notepad. Wow, Iâm touched, sheâs concerned. Aren't they all? Iâve had enough of the sympathetic 'Are you alright?âs Honestly, a âyou're a crazy mother fuckerâ once in a while is perfectly fine to balance out the chaos.
âSo is your medication working? Do you still seeâŠthem?â She's talking about the shadowy friends of mine! Yeah, I still fucking see them even though you have me on enough meds to call me a drugaddict! In fact, I saw one on Tuesday, SUSAN. Iâve always been able to see them, even when I was younger, and they blamed it on a very rare, very young case of dementia. But theseâŠthings, aren't just figments of my imagination. They have minds of their own, taunting me all the time. It's the reason heâs gone.Â
âYeah, I havenât seen them in a while.â I say with a smile, so that she wonât prescribe me another pill. âDonât we end in a few?â I say to hurry her along. She taps her skull, as if sheâs just now remembering I have a life. âOh, youâre right! Then weâll pick this up next week.â Ew, I didnât want to pick this up again next week. âUm, Iâm going to get my papers organized, remember? Iâm getting that job. So, if I just notify you, I donât think meetings will be necessary as of right now.â I say impatiently with a weak smile, tapping my foot at godspeed. Man, sheâs slow on the update. Maybe if She's smart enough sheâll realize what Iâm trying to say.Â
She gathers her things, clearly not in her right headspace as she throws it all recklessly in a tote bag. My OCD impulses twitch. âOh, wow. Yeah, that is right! You have a way better memory than me!â she said over-enthusiastically. No wonder she was alway re-scheduling. âI suppose thatâs alright, but if you're ever stressed, or need someone to talk to, call my number.â She said with a deeply concerned look. To be truthful, I lost her Number, but thatâs just between you and me. âYep. In fact, Iâll have you on speed-dial, just in case.â I tell her, my enthusiasm weak and my social battery draining fast. âOkay! You have a good rest of your day then!â She says with a cheery smile. Right, like hell I will.
 Yup. Sure will. Time to go home to MamĂĄ and step-daddy and scrub the house clean, and cower away from Davidâs leather belt. I hate to be brutally honest like I always am, but theyâre half the reason Iâm in debt for these damn medical bills. I walk down the long flight of stairs and out of the building. Ugh, finally, Iâm free.
                                                -X-
I hung my keys and walked into the kitchen and shouted, âIâM HOME!â. No response, of course. I opened the door to my room and took a deep breath. Now Iâm home. I closed the door because, privacy yaâ know? I hung my messenger bag on a decorative rung I had 3-d printed in sophomore year of Computer Design. I glanced at my neat wall of vinyl records with bands like âNirvanaâ and âLos Campesinosâ, right next to the picture of me smiling with my father. On my desk was a stack of books, things I was borrowing but now belong to me, a cup of pencils, and my PC setup I made myself, stickers plastering the frame.
I flopped on my bed, tired as hell. I pulled out my phone and selected a playlist, closing my eyes and drifting in and out of sleep. I dream of the shadows and VHS tapes changing and a loud static in my head. Everything is so unilluminated, and Iâm scared, frightened out of my wit at whatever could come out of the wispy darkness. âJay '' someone says. I look in the darkness, trying to detect where the voice is ringing from. âJayâ I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jolt awake and rub my eyes. When my vision focuses, my mom is standing in the middle of my room, cigarette in hand. âYou were screaminâ again. Did you take your damn pills?â No, I hadnât. I was supposed to take them even if I took a two minute nap. Or else I screamed like a madman.
âDavid isnât coming home tonight.â She said, taking a drag of the cancer creator. â âWorkâ?â I say, not looking at her. She breathes out. âYeah, âworkâ. I figured you could use the stove tonight then.â She takes one last look at my room and walks out, her shirt askew across her small curved shoulders. Sheâs not the same anymore. After my dad died in that plane crash, sheâs been doing all the wrong things with all the wrong people. I donât understand why she would want to be in a relationship with that abusive fuck âDavidâ or whatever anyway.Â
But she still does little things like this, letting me know if and when Davidâs going to be home, and letting me use the stove to make my empanadas and arroz Rojo or âforeign foodâ as David calls it. He doesnât let me cook because itâs too âspicyâ for him.Â
I pull out all my spices and ingredients, âSummerlandâ by Half Alive still playing in my ears. Iâm in the zone, everything how I want it. Cooking the arroz and frying the meat and sauce for empanadas, carefully avoiding the paper cuts on my hands when dicing the jalapeno and cilantro. In the midst of cooking, I decide to make dessert, having a hard time picking either Tres Leches or Concha Bread. I would ask MamĂĄ, but she was half asleep on the tattered La-Z-Boy in the parlor. So I just decide based on what we have the most. A few hours later, mom wakes up, the smell of authentic Mexican food calling her. âGracias por la comida hijo.â She says, eyes only half open. âDe nada mami.â Spanish is another thing David doesnât like. He canât understand âtaco bellâ as he calls it. âPronto conseguirĂ© un trabajo.â Iâm getting a job, I tell MamĂĄ. âÂżun trabajo?â she says with no surprise. âÂżSabes cuĂĄl?â Do I know which one? I was so focused on getting out of my meetings for a bit,that I hadnât actually thought of what I would do. âQuizĂĄs algo en informĂĄtica. Se paga bien.â I told her about my computer science classes and how the area of work paid well. Well enough to finish paying the debt to the bills I owed.Â
âÂżCuĂĄndo te convertiste en un hombre tan adulto?â When did I become such a grown man? She looks at me. âuh, el mes pasado mamĂĄ.â I had just turned 18 last month on November 7th. I was already an adult, technically. MamĂĄ just looked at me and shook her head. âYa sabes a quĂ© me refiero, joven.â She said sassily. I laughed, enjoying our little corner of the universe, where we were safe. I brought out the Concha Bread and MamĂĄâs eyes lit up. âMi Favorita! â I smiled at her happiness, âÂĄSolo para ti! â. Just for you! âHijo, ÂĄme estropeas!â You spoil me, She says with a laugh.
We finished dinner, and I tucked MamĂĄ into bed. I piled up the dishes, planning to do them tomorrow, and pulled out my phone to look at available jobs in my area. I pulled up Yelp and look for an IT job. No such luck. I tried Indeed next, again, nada. The hours passed, websites were searched, and still, no IT or Cyber Security jobs in my area.Â
I give up and try to find a decent paying job not too far from home.There are some alright ones and then there's the ones that look a little shady. I filter out my results so I donât wish myself an early funeral. And then I found it, THE GOLDEN JOB!!! The golden job is this thing me and my computer friends would do when we were job hunting. You search for a job, filter it, and whoever had the best job at the end could dare anyone to do anything (within reason of course). One time, my friend Alex won and he got everybody to buy him something from DQ.
But this job seemed too good to be true. Just down town in the suburbs, away from the city, is a fancy estate house. The owners died a few years ago and this little old lady is looking for someone to clean it up for resale, as she is getting on in her years. The pay is good enough to pay for my bills though. All that's left now is to make the callâŠ
 Question Everything: âWilâ
Do you ever get that feeling that youâre constantly being watched? Like eyes are constantly trained on you? As if existing is a cause for concern. âHey Wil,can you pass me the arroz?â I snap out of my daze, âHuh? Oh sure, Tio.â The house is hectic today, cousins running around and Aunts and Uncles drinking and talking. Nobody in the family liked to be around me and Tio Hector felt bad about that, so he sat with me at all the family meets.
âEi, vocĂȘ estĂĄ bem?â Tio says, I smile dancing on his lips. I play along, âSim, sĂł pensando... e vocĂȘ?â Iâm just thinking, what about you? I say this with the same smile playing on my lips. Tio just laughs, âYou silly, Iâm always fine! Como foi a terapia hoje?â He asks about therapy. He cares but I donât need therapy. Weâre just wasting money we donât have. âAh, o mesmo de sempre. Ela apenas traz Ă tona as mesmas coisasâŠâ Same old, Same old. The lady doesnât even have a plan for me to get âbetterâ. Tio just smiles and says, âTalvez ela esteja louca!â. He bursts out with laughter, making the house feel a little more homely.
Some more family members enter the kitchen, filing up on more drinks and food. I feel so uncomfortable around them, as they do around me. A hate/hate relationship, I guess. Tio sensed my unease and acted as necessary. âIgnore-os, eles estĂŁo aqui apenas para ficar bĂȘbados e conseguir babĂĄ de graça.â He said theyâre alone at the event to get drunk and get free babysitting. He knew this would make me smile, because not only was it funny, it was true.Â
I stand and push in my chair. âVejo vocĂȘ mais tarde, tio. Tenho que ir para casa. Trabalho ocupado para ser feito.â Tio stands, âTrabalhar? OK, te vejo mais tarde. But donât stress yourself! Or else youâll end up like Aunt Maria!â He laughs. We hug and I leave, off to drive to my small apartment.
                                                 -X-
I got in and locked the doors and tossed my keys anywhere, I didnât care at this point, my stuff was already everywhere. Boxes were still piled up from a month or two ago, from when I left the family house and moved out on my own. I toe my way on my cold floors, slowly inching my way to my room. LED lights are strung up, drawings and sketches hung up from AP Art classes. A picture of me and Tio sits on my nightstand. We were at a fair, eating bad funnel cakes and playing games. He won me the very avocado plushie that rests on my bed right now that day.
My laptop rests on my desk, covered in stickers I had designed myself, still open on my DAW program with a music track in queue. I slam it shut, too tired to even think about any actual work. I collapse to the bed. I donât fall asleep, but just lay there. I wasnât in the mood to deal with more scars. I lay horizontally, drinking in the late afternoon sunlight, absorbing all the details of my room. Itâs kinda like when youâre waiting for something but can only leave at a certain time, so you wait and actually notice all the little things in your life.
A boom rings from upstairs. Ugh, the neighbors. I finally decided that I had rested long enough and had to do something productive. The therapist said something about getting a job or whatever, so that I could âget myself in the right headspaceâ. I already had a job, but it was one my family didn't approve of, and if I mentioned that to the therapist we would have a WHOLE discussion about âhow that made me feelâ or, âwhat I could do to change their perspectiveâ.
I didnât have the time for that, and hell, I needed a buck. So, restlessly, I snatch my laptop and open Yelp and Indeed and other numerous job websites and applications. Hours later, you would think I would discover a decent art job! Even a graphics designer looking for an assistant in the heart of New York! But Nada. I gave up a half hour later, deciding to just filter my results for easy, high paying jobs in a calm area (so that way I wasnât lost in Time Square).
What comes up is some crack-head craigslist kinda shit but some of the jobs are promising. I filter again to get rid of the cuckoo's and 9-5 jobs, settling for something more temp style. This narrows down my search even more, drastically not giving a fuck about my opinion, and only showing one or two results. Eenie Minie Moe later and I found the thing to shut Susan up about the job. A cleaning job, high pay, pick my own hours, AND! When the estate sells I get 2% of the profit sold. Itâs this little old lady, selling the home and land of her dead son and daughter-in-law, just wanting to get it in shape before resale.Â
I applied for the application and got it sent. I go to the kitchen to eat some trashy dried ramen in a bowl I havenât washed in a week, and decide what time my body wants to deal with sleep and pain.
                                            -X-
I woke up late that morning, my knees bloodied. Fuck. I tip-toe to the bathroom and get out my huge first aid kit. I disinfect and clean, avoid infection and patch it all up with a huge band aid. I've learned the art of self-aid with my eyes closed and hands tied by now. Fixed, for now.
I checked my phone, surprised to see a notification from the lady with the estate this early. She says my application checks out and that the latest I can start today is 11:30 am. Well, at least I can choose when I leave. I glance at the clock, gauging how much time I get to blow before leaving to find the property. 10:29âŠokay. Shower, skip breakfast today, and attempt to clean. Like hell I'm gonna clean. Itâs just not in my nature anymore.
Flashforward and Iâm running to my car to get there on time because my sense of time is horrible. I showered and barely had time to get my boxers on. So, looking like a lunatic, brandishing my disheveled hair and soggy bandaids barely hanging on by a thread, I booked it to my car.
more to come soon!!
tagging:@thinkingaboutctommy @paldeanbooper (my writer buddy:@wiblursaystuff) @vibestillaxxx @gay-mooshrooms @colleenispunk @wormsinsdirt (another writer buddy:@teagica)
#al was here!#hector estaba aqui!#proceed with caution at my blog#my work!!#al writes...#Hector escribes...
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Ideal work schedule:
I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks
I complete the list
I leave immedietly
#guy who is getting out of work at 1pm!!!! đą#tomorrow is my last day but u have loved this job. i love to leave.#trb.txt#i* have
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đđđđđ
#my art#digital art#digital painting#doechii#idek if i like this anymore but whtever spent too long to not post#lowkey âi like the car in the bg more i have over-working disease when it comes to digital painting#and ive looked at jt too long i cant perceive it anymore#id in alt text#artists on tumblr
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My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.
#personal#back to work tomorrow prepare thyself#i have had other adults try to take my phone away ask if I have a tardy pass the aforementioned detention incident-#THE LIST GOES ON#i usually get an apology after they realize im twenty fucking six but sometimes im like#....if you need to apologize this profusely for talking to me like that when you realized i wasn't a student#maybe you shouldn't be talking to the students like that either?#i get it they're irritating as hell but like. as soon as you realized i could report you for yelling at me the way u just did#u HELLA backtracked.#maybe some self reflection is in order?
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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
#I was forced to get over my hatred of making phone calls bc of this#one 15 minute phone call is the equivalent of 5 back and forth emails#also if you don't know exactly what you need help with you can just ask and you can get real help#instead of just desperately clawing at faqs on websites#it's infuriating that it works so well#ramblings
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Goodnight.
#original art#flowers#plants#digital art#illustration#artists on tumblr#night#blue#foliage#digital illustration#This be my last drawing before the New Yearrr#thank you everyone for enjoying my work! hoping next year I'll have more opportunities to continue my art journey âš#image described
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self-love/self-hate
#drew these back in september when i was trying to work through some feelings and then forgort to post em when i started being active again#my art#digital art#monster#creature
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siren
#art#mythology#horror#artists on tumblr#my illustrations#anyone who knows how harnesses and rope shit works do not look too closely at this#blood cw
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Hey kid, look at me.
I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.
Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.
These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.
#i had some nerve pain in my hands#and it turned out the nerves in my arms were too short#so i went to a physical therapist#she prescribed me these#i did them twice a day at first#because i wanted them to work as much as possible as fast as possible#and they do work#i still do the stretches#but that pain in my hands is mostly gone#crochet#knitting#stretches#im not sure if its for carpal tunnel though#but u can still try them#fiber arts#physical therapy#good luck!
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me and gang at the haunted house
#i haven't seen the movie yet#i just thought this image was hilarious i needed to draw it with my tails design#i lovr that dumb gay and his genius fox buddy who is also dumb but he's 8 it's fine#harv's art#art#fanart#digital art#did this one on my phone with ibispaint x instead of my usual krita so#ibispaint x#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#agent stone#tails the fox#miles âtailsâ prower#safe fur work#sfw furry#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#how tf do i tag sonic art#furry/oc artist struggling to tag fanart#fork found in kitchen#i have more polished designs coming i promise guys im serious this time#love u gang#if u saw this already no u didnt i keep posting to the wrong blog
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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i love my cat but he is very fond of trickery
#cats#lady normalgirl and her eunuch#i think the nameâs gonna stick i was talking to my friend (who we joke is my tumblr manager)#and apparently one of the first things i said when we met (abt 3 years ago) was âim a normal girlâ so. lady normalgirl works LOL#10k#20k#my doods#30k
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someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think
#thisss wass going to be just one little sketch lord help me#the guys you put on this earth to finish their psych degrees are drawing pathetic men again#jayvik#arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#my art#fanart#i have uni and work and also therapy to do but i got sick this week so i think i read like. over 30 fics yesterday like i was struck#by some affliction legitimately#please talk with me about them. this is a cry for help#i drew all these while listening to circa survive on repeat do you understand what that does to a man
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