#my whole writing blog is spirited away based! i even have a spirited away them for my aes blogs shdjjd

[t3a-tan]

Tea's Writing Masterpost!

A lot of people have asked if I have a masterpost, and I did not, so I decided to finally make one before things got even more out of hand lol

An introduction to me and my blog!

Link to the order these stories are set in!

Orna's Song!

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Multi-part stories:

The Party Was Crazy Last Night - 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 - (Sammy is a borrower, which sucks because she's pretty sure she's falling in love with a human; the very beings responsible for the suffering of so many of her kind…Oscar is a human, which is a little difficult to deal with when you're in love with a girl the size of your thumb.)

New Perspectives - 1 / 2 / 3 / (what if?) - (Borrower Oliver and James switch sizes)

James Finds a Child - 1 / 2 - (James finds a borrower child and Oliver isn't there to help)

Failed Meeting - 1 / 2 - (James meets borrower Sammy for the first time)

Fetch - 1 / 2 - (Borrower Tanner is found by James whilst the human is walking a dog)

Romantic and Hopeless - 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 - (Oscar and borrower Sammy are soulmates. A story based on @tinyundercover's soulmate mechanics from their story 'Pepper and Felix' (except it's 18, not 21))

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Pursuit of Gnosis - 1 / 2 - (A renowned magic researcher called Ryker leaves the city of Nirgend, discovers a forest spirit the size of a mouse, and he wants to know more.)

Oliver's Daycare - 1 / 2 - (Borrower Oliver finds a human toddler crying alone and decides to entertain her until her parents return)

One-part stories:

Friends in High Places - (James and borrower Oliver meet for the first time)

Stay a Little Longer - (Semi-continuation of 'Friends in High Places'. James and borrower Oliver bond more)

Doesn't Change a Thing - (Size-shifter James is assured by Oliver that this doesn't change their friendship)

Soggy Cereal - (Oliver meets borrower James when he falls into his bowl of cereal)

Crow Army - (Borrower Oliver shows James his army of crows)

Injured - (James has to help an injured borrower Oliver)

Disaster Strikes - (Freddie meets his best friend's crush for the first time! Wait why is she so small?)

First Time - (James lets borrower Oliver drink some alcohol, not realising the borrower has never drank before)

Something's Off - (Oliver is reunited with Tanner! But this version of his cousin is a borrower..?)

Oliver Finds a Child - (Oliver finds a borrower child whilst working and helps them get home safe and sound)

Accidents Made in Anger - (James is angry and borrower Oliver tries to comfort him, but gets hurt by James in the process)

A Whole New World (literally) - (Borrower Sammy and Oliver find themselves magically transported into the forest of a ferocious dryad named Jamai...but perhaps he's more gentle than he appears?)

Jarred - (Oliver gets frustrated over borrower James's stunts and decides to put him in a jar)

Spiralling - (Borrower Tanner is left in James's care whilst Oliver is away, and they both bite off more than they can chew)

Herbicide - (Ren is injured by an angel and Jamai takes care of her)

Movie Night - (Borrower James accidentally drops in on Oliver whilst the human is watching TV)

Ryker's Guilt - (A story from Ryker's perspective)

Newborn Spirit - (How little Ren was born and how Koten got his name)

Pixie In Need - (Jamai finding an injured pixie)

Cody Adopts Cynbel - (How Cynbel came into Cody's (and later Jael's) life)

Jael Meets Cynbel - (Jael meets Cynbel, and the meeting isn't as smooth as planned)

Panic At The Masquerade Ball - (wlw where Orna is invited to and crashes a royal masquerade ball)

A Helping Hand - (Cody, literally larger than life, checks on Earth and the humans living there)

Under His Eye - (Ryker after having just kidnapped Sammy and Tanner is suddenly greeted by a giant eye in the sky)

Under His Eye (what if?) - (An alternate ending to Under His Eye in which Ryker is recognised by Cody)

Have Faith - (Sammy is having a crisis but luckily Jael is there to help)

Meeting Bishop - (Cody is curious about other universes and ends up meeting Bishop; another version of himself.)

Firing Squad - (After Jael's friend and follow squad member is found guilty of rebelling, he is put in charge of their execution to prove his loyalty)

Different Doesn't Mean Bad - (Cody reassures his daughter Charlie that her lack of magic isn't a flaw)

She's Still There On Your Coat - (Sammy accidentally gains the wrath of angels, but luckily one fallen angel is here to help her out)

Silent But Friendly - (Kid Oliver finds kid borrower James in a tub of oats and tries to befriend him)

[junekissed]

what svt would dress their kids as for halloween

member | dad!ot13 genre | headcanons, humor, fluff word count | 400 warnings | children below the cut (?), most of the babies are white i'm sorry it was super hard to find ones that weren't but don't pay attention to the kids they're just there to show the costumes! notes | all photos are from pinterest! this is based on a conversation i had with @duhnova earlier hehe :) comment which costume is your fav!

seungcheol - pumpkin

he would spend so long looking online for the cutest one. he'd probably want to do a pumpkin patch themed photoshoot to go along with it

jeonghan - lion

honestly i think he just went to spirit halloween at the last minute and picked out the silliest one he could find. fortunately for you they were out of the avocado costumes

joshua - grandma/grandpa

i think he would just get such a kick out of it. he would bring them to your parent's house and he would make those stupid jokes that waiters do when babies eat at restaurants like "oh no margaritas for her, she's driving" or handing the check to the baby "dinner's on him tonight"

junhui - elephant

i have no reasoning for this one just a gut feeling tbh. he would probably like the big floppy ears. and also the fact that you told him if he dressed up your kid as a cat for the 3rd year in a row, you would throw the costume away (you wouldn't but you had to get him to change somehow)

hoshi - tiger

do you even have to ask. your baby has been wearing tiger onesies since they left the hospital

wonwoo - ladybug

i think he would think the little red and black spots are so cute :( he would be a very soft dad

woozi - shark

he probably has a demo version of a remix of the baby shark song on his computer. he would be dressed as an octopus or a fish or something and he would pretend he hates it but he would secretly think it's funny

mingyu - giraffe

he's manifesting for your baby to grow up to be tall like him a giraffe

minghao - skunk

again i don't know why i think this i just do. the black and white seems very minghao to me

seokmin - chicken

he would insist you have the cutest baby in the neighborhood and he would just be grinning and giggling the whole time. look at those little orange feet aren't they so precious. he would dress up as a farmer and carry around a basket of plastic eggs

seungkwan - monkey

he would dress up as a banana. also probably makes jokes "there better not be any monkey business tonight"

vernon - pineapple

i'm just laughing thinking about vernon holding a baby dressed like a pineapple

chan - bat

he would want to do a halloween-y costume and he thinks the little wings are cute. might dress up as a vampire to match

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[todayinmagicalgirlhistory]

when it comes to water spirits i know you mostly talk about selkies but do you have any information you can share about mermaids?

Hi there, thanks for the ask I haven't talked about mermaids on this blog but I do have my experience working and interacting with them! But I do want to give a disclaimer that my experience with merfolk mostly concerns freshwater mermaids rather than saltwater.

To be honest, I don't know too much about saltwater folk in comparison with some minor exceptions here and there.

This is also specific to a community of freshwater mermaids I have more experience with, things can be different in other freshwater merfolk communities.

From the saltwater perspective, freshwater mermaids aren't as advanced as those in saltwater and are essentially, for lack of a better word, just ‘simple-minded commoners’. The variety of freshwater merfolk aren't as plentiful as saltwater mermaids and, to be blunt, saltwater mermaids don't consider freshwater mermaids pretty due to the lackluster colors and patterns of their tail in comparison. A Betta Mermaid is nothing compared to say… a Lionfish Mermaid, at least in their eyes.

So generally speaking, there is a bit of animosity between the two groups. Freshwater mermaids mostly just hold their tongues about it since freshwater mermaids rely on a lot of imports from saltwater:

Coral (can be used for writing utensils, knives, etc.)

Squid Ink

The bulk of their ‘paper’ (kelp) supply

Accessories that are trending in saltwater territories

Etc.

Those imports could even be used as leverage against freshwater folk, so it's always just best to hold your tongue in hopes of getting said imports that freshwater mermaids still receive to this day.

Now as for freshwater relations, the freshwater community had their own beef back in the day before all coming together. Nowadays, everyone has their own elders and all those elders (from carp to catfish) will gather together for huge discussions for the future. But in the past that wasn’t the case. The ones in charge were the European Carp Mermaids.

European Carps, in western waters they were considered, for lack of a better word, nobility. Not because of any true royal status (Freshwater merfolk don’t have monarchies like some societies in saltwater do, they’re elder-based). Simply only because they were most commonly found species of mermaid in the area, hence it made it easy for them to boss everyone around. So as a whole, they would be the ones to make large decisions for freshwater as a whole (at least in the area my old mermaid friend lives in) when it came to diplomacy and interacting with Saltwater folks.

Goldfish Mermaids had it the worst as far as their treatment from everyone else. Considered kind, naive, and gullible, Goldfish would constantly be taken advantage of and would often get their resources stolen. Eventually, they resorted to keeping their territories sparse and undesirable in order to keep others away, but that was just a tactic they came up with in order to hide their remaining resources from everyone else. They have good relations with Catfish Mermaids.

The Catfish folk were the most enigmatic and because of that, they had it the 'easiest' in terms of discrimination. They kept to themselves in murky waters which was very undesirable from an outsider’s point of view, so their lands were left untouched. Though because of their lands, they were labeled as “bottom dwellers”, it was better to be called names than have resources and territory stolen in their perspective though. They would often share the resources they had with Goldfish Mermaids, leading to a good relationship that has lasted even to this day.

The Freshwater Smelt Mermaids were, overall, considered the most neutral out of everyone else. But huge emphasis on ‘overall’. While as a whole they were the least prejudice, everyone has their own bigots that ruin shit for everybody else.

Betta Mermaids were the most aggressive and territorial merfolk and because of that, it was especially hard for any other types of merfolk to try and settle in their lands. Even Betta Mermaids themselves from other tribes in different territories would find it difficult to move to other Betta-filled territories. Because of this, Betta often fought among themselves and would leave the diplomacy up to the carp. They’ve calmed down considerably since then.

While Goldfish had it the worst due to resources being stolen, Koi Mermaids (a variety of carp mermaids) were the runner ups. In eastern waters they’d be considered ‘nobility’, again for lack of a better word, due to the extremely beautiful colorations of their tails. But in the western waters, they were only considered immigrants, and at best were considered novelties due to being more ‘exotic’. Some resorted to selling their bodies to make ends meet. My friend is half European carp/half koi and was the one who had told me all of this information.

As for saltwater mermaids, I've really only interacted with some few and far in between. There was a whale shark mermaid who passed through the area my astral home was in at one point, but she was constantly traveling so that wasn't too long. Shark merfolk are strong and proud and there's a variety, there's a variety of cultures depending on the type of shark.

Lionfish merfolk are very regal and can be quite snobby. They use their spines to write with poison-filled ink to keep their secrets, if I remember correctly.

Beluga merfolk are quite kind from what I've been told, so I don't think you'll have any problems with them.

Sorry for the lack of saltwater mermaid info, like I said my experience mostly lies in freshwater mermaids.

[solarpunkani]

Sonic the Hedgehog and Solarpunk Ideals

Alright, it's June 23rd which means not only is it Solarpunk Aesthetic Week, but it's also Sonic the Hedgehog's 32nd birthday. Let's all say Happy Birthday Sonic the Hedgehog.

Overall, that means it's time for me to do something I usually don't do on this blog--talk about Sonic the Hedgehog, one of my favorite series of all times. Specifically, how I feel it embodies Solarpunk at least a little bit. Hopefully you'll see where I'm coming from by the end of this.

Real quick though, special shout out to @modern-solarpunk for being my beta reader 100/10 owe you my life.

Alright let’s make one thing clear. I’m a Sonic nerd. I’ve been a Sonic nerd since at least the 5th grade. Sonic the hedgehog is one of My Things. IDK if I’d call it a hyperfixation, but it’s definitely one of My Things, and it’s been one of My Things longer than gardening or even Solarpunking and all the other stuff y’all know me for has been. I am about to talk y’alls ears off. Buckle up.

With that in mind, I’m not going to pretend that the Sonic franchise is a perfect franchise made by perfect people working under a perfect corporation. Even ignoring the timeline disasters, retconning, and rushed projects (*cough cough Sonic 06 and Sonic Boom cough cough*), Sonic the Hedgehog is made by a corporation in a capitalistic world who has done some… iffy things in the past, present, and likely the future. We are, here, today, strictly talking about two things--the creation of Sonic and the creation of Dr. Eggman. There will be a super special third topic I bring up later, but that's gonna be its own post. I’ll bring up a handful of things from the shows, comics, movies, etc. If I finish writing and editing and posting this whole lengthy diatribe and someone ignores this paragraph and brings up some inane unrelated shit that the Big Corporation Guys did That One Time Months/Years Ago I might snap. Yes, corporations are bad. Yes, I like Sonic. Let’s establish that.

Ok let’s actually get started.

Sonic the Hedgehog the Dude, Tiny Rebellions, and Freedom

Alright, so Sonic the Hedgehog is a series of games, movies, comic books, TV shows--it's a whole thing, it's an entire franchise. The basics of what you need to know here is that a little 3’3” superpowered anthropomorphic blue hedgehog dude and his array of equally-animalian and equally-colorful friends are ruining the robotics-based evil world takeover plans of a 6’1” egg-shaped human dude on the regular. Occasionally, there are other villains, and other storylines, and sometimes the motivations change, but that sentence boils down the Sonic the Hedgehog storyline to its base essentials. 

The Sonic franchise was dreamed up in 1990 when SEGA needed a new mascot to compete with Nintendo’s iconic Mario. Personality-wise, he’s said to have been inspired by “a modern sensibility of wanting to get things done right away, righting wrongs as they presented themselves instead of letting them linger.” As we currently know him, with Sonic “What you see is what you get--just a guy who loves adventure.” He’s a free-spirited drifter who goes with the flow, valuing freedom above all else and wanting nothing more than to live by his own rules and whims rather than bowing to the expectations of others. He loves interacting with the many cultures on his planet (which we mostly see in Sonic Unleashed, but still), trying local dishes with friends frequently. Overall, Sonic is driven by a strong sense of justice and fairness, fighting for the ideal of freedom rather than the name of the law--and he always fights for the underdog. He likes to handle things on his own, but he isn’t above looking to his friends for help when needed--and acknowledges their role in his life and achievements regularly (if he can be a bit smug at times). He appreciates scenic views and nature, with a special fondness for places filled with plants--we see him do this lots in the series--and he hates when people destroy it for their own gain. He doesn’t hate cities, though, and finds they have their own beauty.

So what’s Solarpunk about this? In my eyes, a good bit. If you don’t know what Solarpunk is, it’s described on Wikipedia as ‘a literary and artistic movement that envisions and works towards actualizing a sustainable future interconnected with nature and community.” Aesthetically, I like to describe it as a mix between sci-fi and cottagecore, with a particular leaning towards some steampunk and some cyberpunk elements, but in a brighter, cleaner, more hopeful way. It's important to note, however, that Solarpunk is also a practical and political action mindset--as much as Solarpunks dream of a hopeful future and work to visualize it, we also work to learn the concepts and take the actions needed to make it a reality. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that Sonic is super politically revolutionary, I’m here to talk about how Sonic fits into the aesthetics of Solarpunk.

As such, lets get into the point--I feel like Sonic is pretty Solarpunk, personality-wise. He just fits a lot of the core tenants--wants to right wrongs ASAP, whether they’re his wrongs or wrongs of the past. He values freedom, traveling, and beautiful natural places--a big chunk of Solarpunk is learning to appreciate and protect the natural species around you, and plenty of people have dreamed up nomadic Solarpunk societies. Even Sonic living by his own rules instead of bowing to expectations fits in Solarpunk--A Solarpunk Manifesto states that “the ‘punk’ in Solarpunk is about rebellion, counterculture… and enthusiasm. it is about going in a different direction than the mainstream…” People in the Solarpunk movement care deeply about freedom, justice, fairness, and fixing the broken systems we deal with today--and often start the legwork by forming or taking part in community-based movements and initiatives. We lean onto those around us for strength and courage, to work as a group to think of solutions to problems, whether that be something small like trading DIY patch instructions to bigger things like planning and creating community gardens to even sharing news about unionizing and more. There’s acts a Solarpunk can do alone--like guerrilla gardening, or moss graffiti, or drawing and writing concepts of a brighter future--but we all know we’re at our strongest when we’re not just one, but many. 

But one of my biggest arguments to Sonic being Solarpunk actually centers around his nemesis--Doctor Eggman.

Doctor Eggman as the Antithesis of Solarpunk

After all, it’s pretty hard to talk about how a hero of a series is Solarpunk without discussing the people and forces he fights against, and most of the time that’s Doctor Ivo Robotnik--better known to most as Dr. Eggman. He was developed more or less directly alongside Sonic the hedgehog, and as such the notes about his creation not only influence his character, but the character and vibe of most of the franchise so far. So who is Doctor Eggman?

Doctor Eggman is often described as the World’s Vilest Person--he’s evil, mean, cruel-spirited, and a self-proclaimed genius scientist who only really thinks about what he wants and what he needs to do to get it--getting pleasure in crushing anything that gets in his way. His main goal is to establish his Eggman Empire across the entire planet and build his own version of a utopia, Eggmanland--usually taking the form of a polluted, smog-filled city or a robotic theme park. His plans have varied from excavating natural spaces and turning woodland creatures into robotic slaves (Sonic 1, 2, 3), using doomsday devices to threaten nations and blow up the moon (Sonic Adventure 2), tie down planets for his own purposes (Sonic CD, Sonic Colors), or even using cosmic forces beyond his comprehension to flood metropolises or literally rip the planet apart (Sonic Adventure, Sonic Unleashed). In the comics and some shows, he even takes it a step further--a common theme with him is Roboticization, wherein people are forcibly turned from organic beings into robot slaves. Sometimes its a machine fulfilling this sometimes-irreversible process (Archie Comics, Sonic the Hedgehog Cartoon, Sonic Underground), while other times its an all-consuming virus that grows out of his control and turns almost the entire planet into raving robotic zombies (IDW Sonic Comics issues #12-29). He’s fueled by delusions of grandeur, believing that all of the world’s problems would be solved if he specifically were in charge of everyone all the time and had things his way, and makes robotic inventions and weapons to obtain power. He’s overflowing with self-confidence and pride, highlighting his ‘scientific genius’ whenever he can. He’ll leave temporary allies to rot if it gives him a chance to take all the credit and power for  himself, he looks down on everyone else and sees them as insignificant, only interested in what benefits him. Fairness and community? With Doctor Eggman? Forget it, he’ll steal candy from a baby and then turn it into a robot if given the chance. And even with robotic helpers he makes himself, he quickly gets sick of them--Eggman doesn’t do friends. 

I’d compare him to Elon Musk, but at least Dr. Eggman is actually a genius.

A Solarpunk Manifesto was published in 2019, describing Solarpunk as “A movement in speculative fiction, art, fashion, and activism that seeks to answer and embody the question ‘what does a sustainable civilization look like, and how can we get there?’”. Eggmanland is not how we get there--Doctor Eggman is an embodiment of everything the Solarpunk ideology stands against, and not entirely by accident. Here’s a quote from Yuji Naka, one of the creators of Sonic the Hedgehog.

“Robotnik was created to be the opposite of Sonic, and to be the bad guy. At that time, there was opposition between "developers" and "environmentalists", and Robotnik was created to represent machinery and development.”

He represents it pretty well--his common motifs are imperialism and pollution, and his version of a utopia is often reminiscent of pre-EPA photos of US cities. Sometimes its done to a cartoonish level--but the point still stands. Whenever we catch glimpses of Eggman’s ‘Home Bases,’ whether its Scrap Brain Zone in Sonic 1, Chemical Plant in Sonic 2, Metallic Madness in Sonic CD, or elsewhere, we’re always seeing tons of mechanization, smog, pollution, and death robots.

Solarpunks aren’t opposed to technology--not in the slightest. But I feel its safe to say that any Solarpunk would be opposed to the over-industrialized, hyper-mechanized, pollution-riddled empire hellscape that Eggman would call heaven. (And you know damn well he'd be all over those Boston Dynamic robot dogs if he were real). To me, Eggman represents the grim-dark futures that apocalyptic stories tell us we’re barreling towards--the darker, less sunny side of the already dystopian cyberpunk genre. Solarpunk is the sun that burns away at smoggy futures, the light that reveals what we can have instead, the ideas that lead to actions to secure it. Its hope in a bottle--hope that we can enjoy and add to, a dream that we can help make into a reality. The ideals are chock full of resisting the real-life Eggmans who want to send humanity into a nose-dive of mechanization and energy-burning self-destruction for the sake of short-lived profits and smug ego-trips. 

Is Sonic a strictly Solarpunk series? I wouldn’t necessarily say so. But I think if the themes and terms had existed in 1990, it certainly would have been cited as a bit of an inspiration. Whether the Solarpunk community would have been chill with a corporation citing the term as inspiration is a whole other deal.

Stay tuned for this posts' sequel, where I talk about how I feel my favorite game in the series--Sonic Colors--is Solarpunk.

[mikathemonster]

You found out your love will stay unrequited. For Boromir (if he rejected me I would die on the spot. Dead. Deceased.) if you can if you don't write him could you do it with kili, if you have too many requests you can just leave this its okay just wanted to ask in case 😊

"death and despair"

author's note: oh my god SLAY I literally love writing angst. this is also my first time writing for Boromir so I'm excited for the challenge! I hope this delivers justly to your expectations, though I do apologize that it's shorter than most. (based on this post)

Pairing: Boromir / Gender-Neutral Reader

Word Count: 624

summary: as the threat of evil looms over you, it seems like nothing compared to the loss you've now faced in Boromir's death

content warnings: angst, themes of death and impending doom

DO NOT REPOST OR COPY. MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT.

To you, Boromir was your greatest treasure; no gold or gems or any material possession could replace the feeling in your chest whenever you gazed upon him or spoke with him. He was strength and courage itself in your eyes; he was a true fighter fueled by the love for his people. He was everything to you, and yet he knew nothing of it. 

To him, you were no more than another soldier. Another brother in arms, another sword and shield that would loyally follow his beck and call. But your loyalty went much further beyond the relationship between a warrior and their general. You would die and live a thousand more lives if only to give them to such a son of Gondor as he. Only he was deserving of such a gift.

But you could never tell him. Not even when your brigade was out together in the depths of the night. Not even when the campfires brought out secrets and whispers among your comrades. Not even when the flames illuminated his steely composure, and suddenly you saw not a general, but a man. A man wreathed in the love he held for his family, for his people, and for his city. A man of great valor and even greater strength, though you could see he often forgot this in times of hardship.

Even when your midnight conversations of strategies and battle posts dwindled into mutterings of lifelong aspirations, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that in each of your life stories you wanted to live, you wanted him by your side. You felt selfish, weak, and even disappointed in yourself by the notion that you could provide nothing for him besides your love and allegiance. 

And yet, you could not deny that nobody else could lay claim over your heart. It was his and his alone. You couldn’t fathom anyone else having it, nor could you see yourself ever lending it to another soul. Your heart was a fragile thing, but your love for him made it stronger. It made you stronger.

The last you had seen him was right before he had left to attend the Council of Lord Elrond, his brother and father sending him off as you watched him from your post at the gates of the White City. He would remain far from you, traveling further and further away until he could no longer even fathom returning, his spirit caught in a place you could no longer follow him to.

No longer would you see his steely eyes, nor would you hear the mature ringing his laughter left behind in your ears. His rough hands, his strong shoulders, his proud stance; all of it was lost to you now. Never again would you hear the tower take up the call to announce the Lord of Gondor’s return. Never again would his horn ring in your ears to lead you into battle. Never again would you heal from such a wound. Boromir, son of Denethor, was lost to you forevermore.

The whole city mourned for the loss of their fallen son, their fallen soldier, their fallen brother. Whispers spread, wondering what laid in store for the fate of the White City as worry and grief gripped the community. You saw it especially in Faramir moments before he left for Osgiliath, his expression completely lifeless. Defeated.

All you could do in the passing days was wonder what would become of your city as the shadow of evil crept over the mountains of Mordor and loomed over your home and life. Death and despair were all that clouded your thoughts in the coming days of the new age of your life. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

if you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out my other pieces and consider leaving a tip on my page <3

[nerdishfeels]

I posted 391 times in 2022

50 posts created (13%)

341 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@horrorgirlreads

@logarithmicpanda

@books-and-cookies

@bookcub

@howlsmovinglibrary

I tagged 375 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#important - 56 posts

#true though - 39 posts

#lol - 29 posts

#bts - 28 posts

#writing - 24 posts

#awesome mutuals - 20 posts

#pretty books - 16 posts

#on my tbr - 15 posts

#booklr - 15 posts

#mr sunshine - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#i’m just grateful that i have this time to learn about myself and take care of myself for once in my life lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Not book-related but praying that Extraordinary Attorney Woo ends well. That drama has my whole heart and soul and Young woo deserves the world 🥹

11 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#4

Summer Readathon Tbr!

Hey guys! For the last two months, I didn’t read much sadly coz I had a lot of other stuff going on. But this month, I want to up my reading game like I did in February, so of course, I joined @logarithmicpanda’s readathon!

It took me time to figure out what I wanted to read, as I didn’t want to be overly ambitious. I didn’t read a lot of Asian fiction last month, so I wanted to include some books that fit that genre. I recently finished Yolk by Mary H.K. Choi which I really liked (and unofficially included for this readathon), but after that deep book, I need some light-hearted reads to build up my spirits lol.

As pictured, the books I’ll be reading are:

Gilded by Marissa Meyer (fun fact: I had this on my other readathon tbr and still haven’t gotten to it, so that needs to change!)

Love boat Taipei by Abigail Hing Wen

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow

Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim

As always, I’m not going to pressure myself into reading everything on my TBR since my life is still hectic as usual, but it’s nice having a pretty stack to choose from 🥰

13 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

#3

Summer readathon update!

Hey guys! In the nick of time, I finished Six Crimson Cranes! I really loved this book. I was looking for a light-hearted read (i.e. not based on heavy topics) and this was it! Here’s a mini review:

Six Crimson Cranes - 5⭐️

This fantasy book was not only inspired by Chinese and Japanese legends but different fairytales such as rumpelstiltskin, the wild swans (which I haven’t read) and cinderella, which I loved!

This gave me spirited away/studio ghibli vibes! We had a charismatic dragon and paper birds, one who is called Kiki and is close to the main character, Shiori!

This story was whimsical and had a lovely quest-like plot to it. I loved Shiori. Even though she was already strong-willed and bold in personality, I liked how her character developed throughout the book. You saw her grow stronger physically, overcoming obstacles that her curse caused her and dealing with the way others treated her.

Raikama was an interesting character. At first, you think she’s a typical, stern stepmother who dislikes Shiori and magic but you realise there’s more to her character and her motives. I would have liked to see more of her but I guess that’s how the story is.

I loved seeing the interactions between Shiori and her brothers. It reminded me a lot of how I am with my brothers, so those moments really touched my heart. Get yourself a book that showcases the love and loyalty of siblings 😭

I loved the magic system and how Shiori can conjure it by embodying a piece of her soul into whatever she touches or wills. It was also interesting to see how other forms of magic worked either from or against dragons.

I also loved that Shiori got to fall in love on her terms rather than through the arranged marriage. Even though it’s fate that brought them together, I loved that the romance was gradual and sweet and you saw that emotional connection build between Shiori and Takkan. Just the kind of romance I like 😉

I do find it funny how people try to protect you by not telling you the whole truth but if only they did, you wouldn’t be led on by others who don’t have your interests at heart. But I guess it all worked out in the end lol.

I liked the twist towards the end and the lead up to the sequel. There’s still much to learn about Shiori’s magic and the power of a dragon’s pearl, so I’m curious to see where the sequel takes us!

14 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#2

Just finished my first book of the romance readathon, The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow! I loved it so much! It was such a fantastic book.

I thought I'd do a mini review before I start on the next book:

The Once and Future Witches - 5*

This book basically had everything I love reading about: Sisterhood, magic, romance, women empowerment, fairy tales, the love for books and words, you name it.

I love the magic system in this and the way fairytales are incorporated as spells or as witch-tales. It was cleverly thought out!

I also love how this book avoided the narrative of "all men are bad", especially when it tackled the treatment of women as witches. There were male characters who wanted to help women in need and respected them.

I also love that this book didn't focus on the suffragists (who would advocate for some women, not all) but on colored women and those who were poor or hard workers that are usually forgotten. Every woman had a voice in this book, especially a trans woman too, which was refreshing.

I loved Quinn as a character. She is so vibrant and charming! I also loved the Eastwood sisters and how their bond grew stronger after being apart.

The romance was beautiful in this. While the book doesn't focus primarily on the romance, we got some sweet moments, especially with the interracial w/w relationship (can we appreciate the rep we got in this book??)

I also loved how the book developed, with every chapter getting more and more interesting and intense. For a book that is around 500 pages, there wasn't one part that was slow or boring.

This book also spilled tea about how women are portrayed by some men, which I really enjoyed.

Honestly, I could go on about this book, but I don't want to dive into any spoilers, so I'll leave it at that. If you love books that involve sisterhood, magic and the importance of fighting for your rights, I highly recommend this book! 😍

21 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

1kpages Readathon Tbr!

Hey guys! I will be participating in the lovely @books-and-cookies’ 1kpages readathon! This almost feels like a tradition for me lmao.

Here are the books I’m planning on reading:

The Bone Spindle by Leslie Vedder - 97/404 pages - I’ve started reading this book recently but haven’t been able to get a break and enjoy it. I roughly have about 307 pages left to read. I’m really liking it so far! It’s giving me Uncharted Lost Legacy vibes with some magical elements!

Spy x Family Vol 1 by Tatsuya Endo - 220 pages - This manga has been pretty popular and from the sound of the premise, I’m not surprised! It sounds like a found family in the making, which I LOVE! I can’t wait to read this!

Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater - 320 pages - So, my friend @logarithmicpanda really enjoyed this book and when they mentioned it being warm and fuzzy, I knew I needed to get this book! So, thanks Panda!

A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro - 321 pages- I’ve been in a mystery kind of mood and I’ve had this on my tbr for a while, so I thought it’s about time I get to it lol.

Total pages I’m hoping to read: 1,168

Four seems like a satisfying number for me when it comes to creating a tbr lol. It would be great to finish all four books during the readathon but I won’t hold my breath.

My life is still as hectic as usual, so wish me luck that I get some sweet alone time! Good luck to everyone participating! ❤️

28 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jaimebluesq]

I posted 1,420 times in 2022

That's 750 more posts than 2021!

245 posts created (17%)

1,175 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cerusee

@ibijau

@dgcatanisiri

@ntnttalksnothing

@fortune-maiden

I tagged 928 of my posts in 2022

Only 35% of my posts had no tags

#nie huaisang - 97 posts

#the untamed - 42 posts

#sangcheng - 40 posts

#writing process - 35 posts

#wip wednesday - 30 posts

#nie mingjue - 28 posts

#jiang cheng - 28 posts

#for future reference - 26 posts

#wei wuxian - 21 posts

#omfg - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#but you suggest two boys or two girls might like each other as more than friends and it's suddenly “stop forcing kids to be gay”

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

What My Favourite Ships Say About Me

I've seen a few "What your favourite (insert X fandom) ship says about you" videos and posts, and thought I'd make my own about some of MY favourite pairings (spoiler - they're all NHS based - big surprise to anyone who follows me >.<), all of which I have written before.

Be warned, I poke fun at them and myself - this is all for shits and giggles :D

If anyone wants to use this as an excuse to make their own, please do! The more the merrier!

So let's start with the biggest one...

SangCheng

SangChengSu

See the full post

93 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

Have seen talk of non-fatal and non-romantic hanahaki and the following beast entered my brain.

Jiang Cheng

He starts coughing up lavender-tinted petals as a child. Everyone thinks it's from an unrequited crush and thinks it's cute and will go away on its own one day. Nobody really notices the petals are the same shade as Jiang Fengmian's robes nor that they get worse after Wei Wuxian is brought to Lotus Pier.

After WWX enters the family, some of the petals start taking on an aqua/teal colouring, and they always come on strongest after a derisive scolding from Madame Yu about how he's not enough and he can't allow the son of a servant to show him up.

The day WWX leaves with the Wen remnants, scarlet-tinted petals join the mix. Eventually Jiang Yanli marries and leaves Lotus Pier and every time she sees JC, her first words are always about WWX or Jin Zixuan - petals of blended purple and gold join the mix.

And then JC is left completely alone with a tiny child in his arms.

He does his best to push through his grief and do his duties to sect and nephew, by now long used to the frequent petals brought up every day.

One day he's holding Jin Ling and the baby says his first word - Jiujiu.

Another day, the nanny brings JL to JC's office and puts him on the ground - the baby gets up onto wobbly legs and takes his first steps, hands reaching out for JC.

And one day JC realizes that the only times he coughs up petals anymore is when he prays at the ancestral shrine, thinking on the family he lost. And even those eventually peter away as time scabs over the wounds in his heart.

By this time, JC knows what the petals meant.

When WWX comes back from the dead, JC fears the petals will come back.

They almost do - for a moment he coughs and feels something in his throat when he watches WWX leave with LWJ... and then Jin Ling is before him, asking if he's all right, all love and concern under a tough/snarky veneer. Just like his uncle.

He never worries about coughing up a petal again.

152 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#3

Nie Sect headcanon of the day:

The Nie traditionally prefer riding horses to flying their sabers. They let the other sects think its for aesthetics or because their sabers are too heavy. In reality, it's because their saber spirits are terrible backseat drivers and never shut up the whole journey.

202 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

Watch "【Multi Sub】《#陈情令之乱魄》/ Fatal Journey 祖传刀墓事件跌宕起伏 明玦怀桑再续陈情令不朽传奇【玄幻 | 肖战 王一博 | iQIYI大电影-欢迎订阅】" on YouTube

Guess what movie is now on Youtube?!?!

Posting for everyone who hasn't yet gotten their fill of the Nie Bros feels and Nie Huaisang's epic kubrick stare.

242 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Today I was made aware that this image exists - I will NEVER be the same!!!!!

1,010 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yuukri]

5, 6, 15, n 19! also, it looks like you rlly like spirited away, have you ever written or considered writing any spirited away fics?

5. satosugu adopt kids (yikes) (jujutsu kaisen) - i feel like every jjk writer has one little self indulgent family fic squirrelled away and here’s mine: firstly i’ve deleted everything to do with curses because they pose too much potential for angsty and also because i can’t write action scenes whdjdj! secondly, gojo steals (legally) megumi (no tsumiki in this au because i’m afraid of how to write her), while getou saves the girls from a bad situation. mostly it’s just daily dramatic domestic shenanigans with some kids :D

“only one of the bunnies is paying him any real attention, happily sniffling at his ankles, and for it’s troubles suguru lifts it up gently, as he makes his way into the living room. he’s sure eventually the rest will get bored and follow. even before he enters, the sounds of national geographic on the television are barely distinguishable from the volume of satoru’s laugh and nanako’s petulant whines.

megumi is sprawled on the floor by the table, one of his two dogs is most definitely in the corner eating his homework, for the third time that week; this time, suguru decides, he will not help the boy try to fix it in a panic before the deadline. satoru should have been a responsible parent and prevented it from happening. the other dog is unsurprisingly, being used as an oversized cushion.”

6. temple au (jujutsu kaisen) - one of my three endgame itafushikugi wips! nobara and megumi help yuuji revive the cult of sukuna after sukuna accidentally messes up and reincarnates into yuuji, nobara realises she has ancestral blood in the cult and megumi stumbles upon the temple while avoiding his own clan issues. it’s a super fun, supernatural au which is more silly than serious tbh.

“nobara was sometimes not unlike a piranhas, less prone to attack than people expected, but easily riled up by the scent of fresh blood.

as though to prove that just sometimes, he was some god’s favourite, their destination comes into sight. amongst the wane light of a waxing moon, the structure stood hulking and proud. it was eerie, with the way the wood gleamed as though newly polished, the shine carmine of the tiled roof. the silence of it. buildings this grand, this intricate, should creak in their foundations, the windows should rattle in their frames, the walls should groan under their load.

they come to a natural stop. nobara somehow manages to rock on her heels despite the uneven mud.

“we’re here.” megumi says, just to be annoying. “

15. watermelon sugar type beat (jujutsu kaisen) - another of the three itafushikugi wips! set semi-canon this time, it’s just a silly one shot (?) spawned from my own hcs for the trio, where they go to sendai and do silly teenage things in yuuji’s hometown! i also wanted to try and write the visiting the grave scene a la chainsaw man. no expert sorry because the state of this wip is best left for my own eyes jsjdjjd (it’s a mess OTL)

19. take a deep breath, take a deep breath, take a deep breath- (genshin impact) - zhongli loosing his gnosis isn’t as straightforward as he explained (or expected) and through plot armour magic shenanigans, our favourite liyue teens have been de-aged at his behest. it’s blatantly an excuse for me to have zhongli play house and maybe if i’m up for it explore his loneliness and detachment for his people and humanity as a whole. anyway, as they saying goes: “from the mouths of babes” for the wisest of introspections.

“zhongli holds hu tao upside down by her ankle. now this would be quite feat perhaps, if he wasn’t a millennia old god and the girl in question had been her normal size. unfortunately, as he listens to her squealing laughter and forces his grip a tad tighter as she shakes in his grasp, hu tao was very much not her normal size.

there are other issues, of course. there’s the fatui mages unconscious on the ground, the remnant sparking of electro over the dark lake of wuwang hill, the other not quite normal sized people clustered around his leg.

“mr zhongli,” xiangling says in a very quite voice, much higher than her usually chirping tenor, “what are we going to do now?” ”

spirited away! -

firstly nonny you’re totally right! i love spirited away and it’s probably one of (if not my number one) favourite movies of all time! funnily enough, despite loving ghibli movies and content, i’ve never thought to or attempted to write a ghibli based fanfic - spirited away included! i feel like most of the time when i write fics it’s because there’s something else from canon my mind wants to run away with and see. however, in the case of spirited away, i don’t think there is? the film and story are so well made and self contained i am want for literally nothing jsjdjd. i could (do) just watch it again and again and enjoy the way things play out. same could be said for other films like howl’s moving castle and kiki’s delivery service, which feature heavily in my other social media accounts (and make up far too much of my personality). but it’s not just ghibli that gives me this vibe funnily enough, some anime/manga i consume also feel complete enough that i’m happy to just leave them be fic free (the shock and horror of it)... others however, i have a personal vendetta to bend to my emotion driven will OTL...

wip title ask game!

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 57 DETAILED SUMMARY AND DISCUSSIONS/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

MC wakes up to Belphie and Satan planning on kidnapping them, deciding to wake them up and then arguing about which small prank they should play to wake them up (satan suggests holding their nose till they wake up and Belphie says they’d have to be careful with that method cause it could kill a human). MC decides it’d be best nor to let them go ahead with anyone of this and wakes up screaming to scare them both. They complain about being reverse pranked and say that breakfast is ready. Belphie also gives them the star of diligence for all that happened last lesson. Belphie asks if once MC becomes an actual sorcerer if Solomon will teach them higher level magic. Satan say it’d be a great boost to the anti-lucifer league. Belphie wonders what the final exam would be (and I just realised these two exams will be the final exam holy shit) and satan asks MC if they’re confident, they say ‘after all the BS I’ve been through? FUCK YEAH!’ Satan says it’s good to be motivated but to stay focused, Belphie says past experience shows that MC can stand to lose a little focus and still be okay. There’s a commotion and they realise that it’s probably Beel rampaging cause he got too hungry.

Asmo scolds Beel for his rampage, Beel apologizes and Asmo tells him not to apologize through a mouthful of food cause it seems less sincere. Asmo asks if he even regrets it and Beel ignores him to go reheat the meat pies which pisses asmo off more. Belphie tells him to drop it and that it was partly their fault for taking so long to come back. Asmo then scolds Belphie for being too soft with Beel. Lucifer asks about MC’s star and congratulates them. MC thanks him and questions him being so happy about them nearly being done. He says them becoming a proper sorcerer is important for all the brothers and that personally Lucifer wants them to become more powerful than Solomon so that they can finally shut him up and make him stop pestering Lucifer for a pact. Belphie questions Lucifer more about Solomon and Lucifer complains, also saying that there are plenty of demons willing to forge a pact with him but Asmo says Solomon’s very particular about who he makes pacts with. Asmo says word for word, “It may not seem like it, but he’s got a very cold-blooded side to him. He probably picks his targets purely based on whether they’ll be of use to him.” (I just think it’s really interesting that asmo calls them ‘targets’ though the character relationship diagram did say that Solomon considers others his playthings). Asmo uses Mammon as an example of a demon Solomon wouldn’t want to forge a pact with but Mammon doesn’t respond instant he’s silent and distracted/worried. Asmo pokes at Mammon again asking if he agrees. Mammon distractedly agrees. Asmo’s smile instantly falls, shocked and upset that Mammon isn’t biting back and arguing or saying something mean in return (why is this my brother & I???). Satan says that Levi will also be useless to Solomon. Levi responds the same way as Mammon did which freaks out both Satan and Belphie. MC asks Mammon & Levi what’s wrong. Belphie states how weird they’re being and Asmo also asks what happened, looking particularly upset. Lucifer calls out to the both of them too. But before they get a response Barbatos calls Lucifer asking them all to come to the hotel immediately.

On the way over Satan says Barbatos asking them over this early is strange and asks if he gave Lucifer a reason, Lucifer said Barbatos had promised to explain when they got there. Satan asks if this is wise considering two of them were already acting odd. Lucifer turns to them and says he’s not going to ask what their behaviour’s about rn but when they go back home the two of them have to explain to him what happened. They both give distracted noncommittal hums as answers. Satan says they’re like completely different people rn and Asmo says whatever the reason behind their behaviour it’s probably stupid. Asmo then asks MC about how he should paint his nails next time, MC can say a mature look,  =a feminine look or a simple look. Then he remembers he’s supposed to enrol in a cooking class that makes food to “cleanse the soul” it’ll be hard with new nails. He also worries about whether food that ‘cleanses the soul’ could exorcise him. MC after all the BS they’ve gone through is extremely paranoid and says it sounds sus Asmo says the 7 of them are also pretty suspicious and that given their limited time in the human world he wants to do everything he can. Behind them Levi meows. Asmo says that though the demons are here just on break the angels are gonna be here long term (guys guys guys what if S4’s after the brothers leave and it’s an angel focused season with them bringing in Michael and Raphael and the brothers only show up for small bits??? I’d cry I’ll get Mammon withdrawal). Levi meows again. Asmo says he wants to stay and have fun in the human world for longer too. Levi meows thrice in a row. Asmo finally snaps and yells at Levi. Levi says he just wants to talk to MC for a bit (remembered the girl in college who used to meow at me whenever we passed by each other). Satan says he knows that Levi’s done something bad that’s gonna piss off Lucifer and now he’s trying to drag MC away from the others to find away to fix it. Levi tries to deny it but Satan just congratulates him and says depending on how this turns out they may invite him to the ant-lucifer league. Belphie asks what he did and Levi tries to deny it until Beel stops walking in stunned silence and Belphie asks him what happened. Beel says he just remembered something awful.

Beel wants to go back to get his abandoned meat pies, Mammon breaks outta whatever stupor he was in to say that’s insane and MC suggests heading through the market. Beel loves the idea and hugs MC, with Asmo saying he wants to hug MC too. At the market people stare at them, Lucifer says it’s natural with how big a group they are, Asmo contributes it to his beauty, I say it’s Satan’s ugly ass clothes. Mammon says people oughta pay them if they’re gonna stare, Levi says it’s embarrassing and MC tells him he’s being too self-conscious, Levi replies saying it feels like he’s being made to do an embarrassing public dare. The butcher greets all of them, surprised to see all of them at once, Beel places his order and the butchers asks if they’re friends, family…(members of a cult? Orgy?) MC can look over at either Mammon or Lucifer and get them to answer. Mammon says that  except for MC they’re brothers though he doesn’t like being stuck with them for brothers but what can ya do. Belphie says Mammon’s got that last bit backwards. Lucifer says the same as Mammon’s first part but adds on that the others can be embarrassing. Satan says ‘like you’re not!?’ The butcher looks at this back of idiots who all look roughly the same age and nothing alike and says “ah. I see.” Then says “MC is your friend or…”Asmo laughs and calls the butcher nosy and says he and MC are a couple and that they’re they love of his life (the butcher previously also was introduced to Beel & MC and Mammon & Mc as couples…), Mammon says MC’s his servant (what a dick. I love him so much), Belphie says he thought the story was they hired MC as their babysitter (and that doesn’t sound shady at all) MC can say they’re a.) family This makes Beel & lucifer really happy and they agree. b.) their master, Mammon says MC’s got it wrong and it’s the other way around. Levi says that at least in Mammon’s case they got it right. c.) their babysitter – Satan protests to being called a baby. The Butcher’s like right….I kind of don’t wanna ask for anymore details but it’s nice you’re all so close.

Up in the hotel Beel is on his 37th meat pie much to Asmo’s dismay. Diavolo greets them and apologizes for the time, MC asks ‘what kinda bullfuckery is going on now’. Since last night there’ve been rumours of an evil spirit (aren’t diavolo & Barbatos also technically evil spirits…) Last night a guest had coming running to the front desk, seeming very pale and petrified with fear insisting there was something in the room with them. Though they don’t say a word Mammon gets shocked by this and Levi gets upset. Several staff members had gone to investigate but what they’d seen had left them shaking and unable to speak. They shock was so much that everyone who’d seen it had been admitted to the hospital. Mammon starts nervously laughing, saying it must have been all in their imagination, the way he words it makes it sound like he’s implying evil spirits aren’t real which I find hilarious. Levi, stuttering, backs him up. Satan says they can’t have all imagined it (isn’t this a thing though? Wait lemme google it up. Mass hallucinations or epidemic hysteria. The first two examples are during the middle ages and they both happened to nuns which is odd. The first was a nun who kept biting other nuns and it spread till the nuns were biting each other. The other was a nun who kept meowing and well that spread. Hey you guys need to read the wiki page for the examples of this it’s really fucking interesting). Mammon ignores Satan and tries to leave citing ‘stuff’ he’s gotta do. And Levi suddenly remembers some of his prior commitments as well. Asmo calls them out for being suspicious and Mammon stutters through the whole sentence denying it. Lucifer bans them from leaving which upsets them and Satan realises that they were called to get rid of the spirit. MC (who’s a shit) asks why the demon king’s son can’t take care of it or if it’s safe for demons to exorcise evil spirits. He says he’s got meetings the whole morning and that the spirit is something he can’t keep waiting till later. He says that though to humans they may seem similar, demons and evil spirits are very different beings. He also says the spirit is the kind that’ll be hard even for demons to handle alone. Asmo asks if that means Diavolo knows what it is. He says it’s a bogeyman (Me: *snort*)

The twins are surprised, Diavolo asks MC whether they know what it is. Bogeymen are well known even in the human world, with children fearing they may be hiding in dark corners of their rooms, they don’t have their own form and instead appear as your greatest fear (and isn’t this the thing from harry potter? A boggart right?) Belphie asks how it could have ended up in Corvo and Lucifer turns to the two obvious suspects as they try to inch their way towards the door. Through stutters they try to explain that they weren’t trying to run away. Lucifer’s so pissed at this point his text has stopped appearing in bold and is now appearing in red. Mammon throws Levi under the bus, saying he wouldn’t stop adding all these new upgrades to crowe, levi says it was Mammon doing that using Levi’s account and money. Levi said Mammon wanted to try an effect called “Pandora’s Gacha” which would give you a random effect that you weren’t told about beforehand. When Lucifer yells at them to quiet his text is both bold and red so you know he’s seconds away from murdering them. He makes them explain everything properly from the beginning and there’s a flashback.  They’re both in Levi’s room, realising how badly they fucked up, as black mist starts to swirl around them (they also keep finishing each other’s sentences as they talk about how fucked they are which I thought was cute). Levi says he has no idea what they summoned but that it should definitely not be loose in the human world and Mammon cusses out crowe (which fair? Which did an update to crowe let loose an evil spirit? Maybe cause crowe’s also connected to the devildom but I can’t imagine anyone in the devildom wanting to be surprised with an evil spirit either… and shouldn’t they correct that bug before someone in the human world summons something that only crowe in the devildom is supposed to summon. But I guess Levi’s crowe is a prototype). Crowe actually answers Mammon and starts telling what it is an what it does as the mist starts taking form. Crowe congratulates them on winning a ‘super special rare effect’, Mammon asks how they could congratulate them when this sucks. The mist forms into Lucifer in his demon form resulting in the two of them screaming and panicking, Mammon’s chanting ‘no’ over and over again and Levi shrieks at Crowe to get rid of it and Crowe asks if he wants to transfer the bogeyman to another location. Crowe asks permission to use 1000DP to install an update to do that, which makes Levi hesitate but Mammon agrees. Crowe asks where they would like to send it. Levi starts stuttering saying he doesn’t know and Mammon says anywhere but here. Levi then stutters out hotel corvo. (So I have questions: Does the bogeyman appear as what you fear the most in general or what you fear the most at the time you see it? Like since before it formed a shape they were already freaking out about Lucifer getting pissed at them so in that one moment that’s what they were scared of more than anything else. Also does it transform into your collective fear? Like since Mammon & Levi met it together it transformed into a pissed demon Lucifer cause that’s the one thing they both fear the most but if it met the two of them individually would it transform into something they alone fear the most? I’m asking cause the two of them seem to piss off Lucifer so much, and despite knowing the consequences for their actions this does not stop them from doing more things to piss off Lucifer, and they’ve been doing this for thousands upon thousands of years that it doesn’t make sense that the thing they fear the most would be Lucifer.)

Back in the present mammon happily compliments Levi on his quick thinking of transferring it to Corvo, Levi happily takes the compliment, calling himself a genius and saying he’d seen an ad for corvo right before the whole bogeyman thing appeared and it popped into his head. “How very interesting…” Says Lucifer with a smile on his face and remembering where they are right now Levi gasps. Lucifer quotes back what they just said to each other before transforming into his demon form making the two of them start screaming again. Belphie says the two of them redefine stupid. Barbatos, with a smile, says he’s pleased they found the cause of all this. And Satan remarks that Barbatos seems really pissed. Beel says the way he’s smiling makes it scarier and actually reminds him of Satan (I love the smiling despite being consumed with seething murderous rage thing some of the demons do. We even saw Mammon do it in that one Devilgram where the brothers for once actually managed to piss him off enough to make him transform into his demon form.) Barbatos says he’ll leave the clean up to Lucifer and the others. Lucifer, now back to normal, agrees despite looking upset and saying he’d rather not. Barbatos drags diavolo to his meeting despite Diavolo protesting and saying he doesn’t want to leave as things get interesting and asking if he can reschedule the meetings, Barbatos says Diavolo had promised to be professional and get all his work done if Barbatos let him come and stay in the human world. Diavolo asks MC if they can have a gossip session about everything that’s gonna happen later and they promise to. Diavolo complains again and Barbatos smiles and goes ‘Young Master.’ And Diavolo immediately fold and leaves. Belphie comments on how even Diavolo wouldn’t dare cross Barbatos when he’s pissed. Asmo and Satan say Levi and Mammon should fix this mess. Mammon says as brothers they should stick together. Belphie says he doesn’t get to play the brother card at his convenience. Asmo asks if MC agrees with him. Levi gives them puppy dog eyes and asks if MC will abandon them. If MC says they should all work together Mammon gets all sparkly eyed and says he knew MC would agree and Levi gets all sparkly eyed and says MC’s the best. Belphie says he doesn’t want to be stuck dealing with this. If MC says it’s their fault and they should figure it out Mammon asks them if that doesn’t sound too harsh and Levi says he understands that nobody cares about them. Satan calls them tweedled-dee and tweedled-dum and says they brought it on themselves. Beel asks Lucifer what they’ll do. Lucifer says Mammon & Levi should deal with it, Levi tries to protest but Asmo says they should have known this would happen. They’re interrupted by Simeon and Solomon, with Solomon saying he wants MC to take care of this.

Lucifer asks why they’re here. Solomon says Barbatos told him and that the bogeyman was a perfect opportunity that they can’t let go to waste and that he wants to make it MC’s final exam. MC can say it sounds exciting or crazy, MC’s a lunatic so after they say the first Solomon is pleased and says he’d expect nothing less from his apprentice and that this is gonna be hard but it’ll make it more rewarding. Simeon laughs and says Solomon seems to have rubbed off on MC, he pauses and adds “in a good way”. Solomon smiling says that they’ll have Simeon with them as help. Simeon says he’d only come by to deliver cakes but had gotten kidnapped by Solomon. MC says they could use Simeon’s help, he’s silent for a moment but agrees though he says he doesn’t know how much help he’ll be. The others agree to come along to watch/help MC’s exam. Mammon gets all sparkly at the thought of his ‘sweet little brothers’ coming to help but Belphie says none of them are doing it for him or Levi but for MC instead. Levi says he feels like they really lucked out here. Solomon asks Lucifer if he has any protests. Lucifer looks tired and done but agrees to it all. They end up in a really creepy bloodstained hall bathed in red light. Beel asks Levi not to walk plastered on to him. Levi stutters and says he can’t. Mammon, also thoroughly freaked out, holds on to MC as they walk and says the hallway is really creepy. Asmo scolds him for using this as an excuse to hold MC. Lucifer tells them all to stfu. From the far end of the fall they hear growling until from the shadows something roars and comes charging towards them.  Mammon screams.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

What will daddy Henry do if his little is sad because someone took something valuable from her?

So i wanst sure what to base this on entirely, so I'm going to go with something I went through over the last few weeks. I had a little bit of anon hate, which I deleted but the words stuck with me making me second guess everything i was working on and the confidence i had in my writing was taken away. so this is like a shameful self indulgent fantasy that im going to read to myself when ever im down.

Warnings: Pretty Personal For Me, Angsty, Fluffy, Self Doubt, Happy Ending, DDLG, Long!!

Tagging: @viking-raider @isitmine @tinabean37 @loserrlauraa  @msblkfire84 @henrythickcavill @plainbrunettelbl @dummiesshort @cynic-spirit @pandaxnienke  @two-unbeatable-beaters @libbymouse @wolfieash @eldarwen333 @princesssterek @mom2000aggie @blackestpinkworld 

(not sure who to tag in headcannons? these are the ones on my everything taglist)

Henry watched quietly with a frown as you sat down in the living room, eyes cast down at the tablet in front of you shoulders slumped.

"poppet what's wrong love?"

"n-nothing da-addy" you said with a small stutter

Henry shifted on his feet looking at you critically before coming over to you.

"nothing? So your sitting here almost in tears over nothing" he stated sceptically rounding the sofa sitting next to you.

"I'm not cryin" you sniffled trying to bite your lower lip to stop it from wobbling.

"not yet, but close enough poppet, hand it over" he said holding out his hand waiting for the tablet.

You whined not wanting to hand it to him at first but after a mini battle of wills you placed the colourful tablet in his hand.

Your head was cast down and you rubbed your eyes trying to catch the tears before they were noticeable.

"okay then, so this is your new story?" he asked scrolling through the page not reading it all but scanning the words, it was well written like always.

At the beginning of the pandemic he suggested you started a blog, and you had. A writing blog all full of fanfictions of... Him.

He didn't mind he actually love you doing something constructive, it kept you happy and busy which helped him because there wasn't many free days even in lockdown. He was working out, reading scripts or rearranging covid tests and travel.

Plus knew these smut blogs existed, even lurked on a few.

"y-yeah" you mumbled leaning on him hugging his arm scanning the page as he scrolled, you knew he wasn't reading everything maybe every few lines

"sooo what's the problem?" he said not finding an issue with the writing.

"i... I cant post it" you muttered looking down avoiding his gaze

"why?" he asked frowning not liking the defeated tone you had.

"j-just because..."

"ah I see, you have lost your confidence" he said quickly figuring out the problem, the downside to writing was everything was personal preference so tiny comments could knock your confidence.

In a way it was like his work, you put your heart and soul into it and then people don't like it? It was always a bummer. But he was used to it, you were not.

You nodded to him it was true you'd lost your confidence, you hadn't wrote for a while.

You couldn't seem to find the words to fit together anymore.

You felt silly, they were just a few mean comments, words from a nasty troll who didn't have anything better to do but it hurt, you poured your heart into every chapter and then for people to rip it to shreds? It stung.

"y-yes I... They didn't like it" you hummed fiddling with your fingers, drawing deep breaths trying not to cry

"and so what?" he said shrugging making you snap your gaze to him.

"wha?"

"it doesn't matter love, so a few people didn't like it, lots of people do, I love your stories"

"you have to your my daddy"

Henry huffed and shook his head at you ruffling your hair pressing a kiss to your head amused that you thought that's the only reason he liked your writing.

"don't stop writing just because of a few mean people nugget, it takes a lot of skill to write and a lot of bravery to share it. Your a brave talented little baby and I'm very proud of you"

He said cooing as that seemed to be the final push sending you over the edge making you burst out into tears.

He hugged you moving the tablet out of the way before pulling you to his lap, unbuttoning his shirt half way and squished you into his bare chest knowing you needed to feel him, not a shirt.

"shh its okay babygirl, your stories are wonderful, and you have fun writing them don't you baby?"

You nodded crying harder trying to get the words out but you just couldn't instead whining incoherently into him.

"and you enjoy making the little banners? And collect all your photos and gifs?"

"y-yeah but they di-dn't like it last time!"

"they don't have to like everything you do sweety"

"but I don't wana upset them!"

"did you do the warnings?" he asked knowing all about the do's and don'ts of posting your erotica.

You nodded whining you always did warnings on stuff to be safe.

"and make the little cut thingy you were telling me about?" again you nodded at him

"so your telling me they read the warnings, clicked to see it and then were mean?" you sniffled biting your lip trying to calm down but nodded to him humming quietly.

"well then it sounds to me like they were going out of their way, looking for someone to pick on" he said slowly rocking you slightly.

You fell quiet resting your head on his chest as he rubbed your back and patted your bottom soothing you.

"but what if they wasn't? What if my stories are bad- and encourage bad stuff!" you cried tucking yourself into him tighter.

"no-no you repeat after me, fiction is fiction" he said pulling you back wiping your tears waiting for you to say it out loud.

"fic-tion is f-fiction" you repeated

"I did everything I could to warn people"

"I-I did everyth-ing I could to w-warn people" he smiled at you as you drew a huge breath calming yourself down.

"and they are jealous because I'm an adorable, smart, funny kind and caring babygirl who has the cutest little peach butt in the world~" he said smirking at you from above holding you tightly to him pressing a kiss to your head.

"and they- daddy! Noo! I can't say that~" you gasped flushing as you realised what he had said

"oh yes you can because its the truth now come here let daddy bite that peach~" he growled playfully snapping his jaws at you.

"ah-no!" you screeched giggleing as he began tickling you all over wrestling you playfully trying to lean over and bite your but through your shorts.

He landed two solid bite's on your bottom before pulling back. Even though he had cheered you up he could see you were still doubting yourself.

Henry cast a glance to the tablet and smirked forming a plan that might just get you back on track. He was not going to let anyone steal your sparkle.

"come on you you've spent enough time writing go play in the garden with Kal"

Once you left henry got to work swiping up the tablet and going on your one drive seeing the meticulously organized notebooks, recognising a few by name.

A few weeks later Henry came in to the living room with a medium size box and plopped it on the sofa next to you.

"here we go nugget!" he said placing the gift next to you, they couldn't have come quickly enough, he had noticed you hadn't been writing at all, which upset him because he knew how much you loved it.

"what's that daddy?" you asked peering over the box not expecting any gifts.

"why don't you open it and find out?" he said sitting the other side of the box handing you a pair of scissors to slice the tape.

You moved slowly cutting it open and pulled the box open then froze.

"d-daddy? What thats my..." you trailed off pulling out the hard back books your banner on the front cover.

"your stories? Yes poppet, I realised that you were putting so much work into these things but could loose them, they are soo good that daddy wanted to read them over and over and now we can!" he said pleased with himself as you sat there shocked looking at the small collection of a5 books.

"but their- i dont..." you said happy but completely shocked, flicking through the pages, there were even a few comments in the margins from henry pointing out the pits he liked making your heart swell with pride.

Henry moved to stand behind you pressing a kiss to your hair.

"They are brilliant! So good I'm so proud of every thing you have achieved and I want them on our book shelf, in the living room" he said making you tear up.

"Really? You... You think their that good?" you whined eyes blurring with tears as you hugged the first book to your chest.

"absolutely poppet now go on, you do the honours~" he said pressing your shoulder urging you to go to the cube bookshelf.

You tiptoed over to it and slowly pulled out each little custom book with your banner on the front.

You sat down placing each one delicately on the shelf the five books each lining up with one another half filling the empty cube shelf.

"oh no baby look? The shelf isn't full is it? You know what that means" he said standing looking

"I-I've gotta write?" you asked sniffling weeping softly but this time because you were happy.

"exactly! You need to fill the whole shelf, so you keep up the good work and tell daddy when you finish your next story and we can keep adding to it!" he said cheerfully walking over handing you the tablet.

You smiled to yourself and looked to the books, your books- actual real life books on a shelf!

You grinned throwing yourself at him latching onto him feeling your confidence come back just from seeing how much you had done.

Suddenly the hate didn't matter, your daddy like them enough to make them into real life books! And even annotated them himself?

And if your writing was good enough for your daddy then it was good enough for you.

"daddy, can I have my screen time now, I want to write!!" you said jumping up and down on the spot excited to start your next chapter.

Henry grinned nodding deciding you can have as much screen time today as you wanted as long as it meant you wasn't giving up your new hobby.

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

Stories I haven’t read yet, but clearly need to put on my ever-expanding List.

~*~

Welcome back queen [Thank you, it’s so lovely to be back!] if ur still doing follower recs I gotta recommend I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett it’s soooooooo good

[This one was actually recced to me by two different people, the other of whom said, “ Maybe I'm crying a little so I feel like a should recommend ‘I would wait for a thousand years’ by bleuett on ao3.”]... it’s def. on my List!

I would wait for a thousand years

by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian)

Summary:  During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair.

“Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.”

“I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.”

“And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.”

~*~

I just read a great fic by aisthuu "every love story is a ghost story", didn't see it in your recs so wanted to recommend it! LWJ is a guqin composer and teacher, buys a cheap guqin off eBay which ends up being attached to WWX's spirit from canon era. It's bittersweet, LWJ deals with Lan's homophobia (implicit in a Lan way) and his feelings towards the ghost. This is author's only ao3 fic and honestly I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but I'm happy I did and hope you will enjoy it too!  [I’ve recently read this one, and loved it!]

every love story is a ghost story

by aisthuu (M, 59k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Summary:  The man is in Lan Zhan’s bed. Did they—he begins to wonder, eyes trailing to where the man’s body lies under the blanket. Had Lan Zhan—?

Then the sleep-fog clears and Lan Zhan realizes that the young man isn’t quite opaque around the edges.

“You’re a spirit.”

The spirit narrows its eyes. “I’m so much more than that.”

(Lan Zhan buys a guqin off eBay for a suspiciously low price, only to find that it’s haunted. And now there’s a ghost in his bed.)

~*~

Ok so I absolutely have to rec "see you yesterday" by glyphic. It's a wip, but it's currently at 101k so there's a whole lot there, and it's terrible and wonderful and beautiful all at once. The way the backstory of canon events is adapted to the modern-with-cultivation setting is brilliant, and then there's the amnesia, and then there's the time loop. This fic lives permanently rent-free in my brain.

see you yesterday

by glyphic (M, 101k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  

Wei Ying 21:09 hey lan zhan what’s the weirdest way youve died

Lan Zhan 21:11 Falling encyclopedias.

Wei Ying 21:12 omg no way that’s so rude turning books against you???

Lan Zhan 21:13 A betrayal I will never forget.

On Halloween night, an exiled demonic cultivator and a Lan disciple get stuck in a time-loop, find each other, and try to figure it all out.

~*~

If you are looking for recs for yourself I absolutely love (the complete!) story Just as the Snow Melts by draechali on AO3. It's a canon divergence where everyone lives, even WWX! ~ @airmidcelt

Just as the Snow Melts

by draechaeli (T, 67k, wangxian)

Summary:  Like a snowy mountain top in spring the residents of the Burial Mounds trickled down the mountain and joined the flow of society.

“I went to the Burial Mounds,” Lan WangJi said.

“Ah, yeah… I’m sorry Lan Zhan,” replied Wei WuXian, “I hadn’t thought anyone would come to visit. I am still not sure how it happened; I brought A-Yuan to Yiling to play by the river and then ended up somehow teaching a bunch of children swimming and writing along with him.”

~*~

Hello! It's come to my attention that you have not as yet read Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation! Please do! It's the only thing that gave me joy during 2020 😆 like proper belly laughs and disney villain style cackling. It is a wip, and it is long but so so worth it!! The author has reworked the entire canon through these message crystals and still conveys complex characters despite the tricky format. It's just so good!! Highly highly recommend it! ❤ ~ @theladypeartree  [Oh!  I’ve been subscribed to this one, and know that @swaglexander-the-great is a reliable provider of Hilarity, so I’m excited for it to be finished!]

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation 

by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).

or in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

~*~

Chomrafy on AO3 deserves love and encouragement; she’s written a body of compact, poetic, and eloquent shortfics each of which can stand alone, but that comprise an intricately cross-referential and mostly internally-consistent universe. They’re grouped as chapters in works according to theme; for example, “in cupped hands” focuses upon Jin Ling and his second-generation baggage; “Departure in Autumn” portrays the last years of WWX’s first life. Follow the tag “Chomrafy’s MDZS shortfics.” [I don’t see this tag?]

in cupped hands

by chomrafy (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary:  Of secrets, of futures, of love. A Jin Ling-centric collection of 200-word fics.

Ch.1: Jin Ling repays a debt (JL, JC, & WWX). Ch.2: Jin Ling and a ghost in the mirror. (JL & JYL) Ch.3: A matter of friends (JL & the other kids) Ch.4: In this house we don't keep dogs (JC & WWX) Ch.5: In the end, he remains silent (JL & uncles) Ch.6: A first night hunt, of sorts (JL & the other kids) Ch.7: Jin Ling, forgiving, forgetting (JL & LXC & JGY) Ch.8: Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling argue (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.9: Jin Ling and his father (JL & JC) Ch.10: Jin Ling speaks up (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.11: Jin Ling and a piece of home (JL, JC, & WWX)

Departure in Autumn

by chomrafy (not rated, 6k)

Summary:  Four perspectives. A steady march to the end.

Ch.1: Because if anything happens to them, Wen Qing would never be able to heal with these hands again. Ch.2: As long as this is still home, Jiang Yanli will wait as long as she needs to. Ch.3: Five times Jiang Cheng reaches for Wei Wuxian, one time he turns away. Ch.4: Whether the road is broad or narrow, bright or dark, they would have to keep walking. Wei Wuxian digs Wen Qing's grave.

~*~

Hello, hope all is going well. I don't have an ask, by I do have a recommendation. I read this fic a while ago and found it again. I just wanted to recommend this for everyone. Let me know what you think please. Thank you. [Oh!  This one’s in my To Read list, but  I’d forgotten about it.  Mmmm, fox!wwx and dragon!lwj.]

Ten miles of Lotus Flowers

by Yukirin_Snow

M, 274k, wangxian

Summary:  He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.

He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.

Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

~*~

I forgot if it was your blog 😥 that recommended “Bestseller” (when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528316/chapters/51318766)

But OMG IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!! And if it wasn’t your blog, I’m so sorry for how weird this sounds 😭😭😭😭 I just loved this fic so much that I have to tell it to someone 😢 [It’s on my List, but I haven’t read it yet!]

Bestseller

by pupeez4eva

M, 8k, wangxian

Summary:  He had written the book to prove a point. It was never supposed to be a big thing, and he certainly never intended for everyone — Jiang Cheng, Zewu-Jun, the Juniors, literally everyone— to be reading about his sex life.

Oh God, he definitely needed to make sure Lan Zhan didn’t find out about this.

(Or, when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit).

~*~

I’d like to rec On Your Marks, Get Set, Bake! by @blackwiresgrowonherhead

It’s one of my absolute favorites and I laughed out loud so many times when reading it

on your marks, get set, bake!

by BlackWiresOnHerHead

G, 41k, wei wuxian & juniors

Summary:  Jin Ling resumes thumping on the door to room 721, and the small collection of freshmen starts chanting “Senior Wei! Senior Wei! Senior Wei!” with increasing volume until finally Wei Wuxian opens the door.

“Yes?” he says with his widest, most innocent eyes.

“Senior Wei!” demands Lan Jingyi, shoving himself to the front of the group. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re a contestant on this year’s season of The Great Gusu Bake Off?!?”

--

Several months ago, college student Wei Wuxian secretly competed in the most popular reality show in the country. The show starts airing in the fall. The freshmen in his dorm collectively lose their minds.

~*~

If you're in the mood for v. short ridiculous fun fic, may I suggest My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los It's 2k modern cultivators AU, featuring WWX calling LWJ's sword Bitchin' [omg I’m laughing so hard] and I think it's more fun going in blind?

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio

by x_los

T, 2k, wangxian

Summary:  Lan Wangji finds he doesn't even need to call for help for Wei Wuxian to come running.

[jelly-as-in-grape-concord]

Fics and WIPS

I'm mostly writing this for my sake because my mind is all over the place and my memory is terrible but here's a whole list of all my currently uploaded fics as well as WIPS I'm working on. This list will probably be changed over time. Feel free to ask me about any of them.

Uploaded Fics

For Nothing At All

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34903177/chapters/86911528 "Midoriya Izuku plays "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with his reflection and learns about what it means to be an eternal spirit."

A fic exploring what it's like to be a ghost for Midoriya Izuku (Currently 1 out of 5 chapters up) The Tickle of the Trees https://archiveofourown.org/works/33706828

"Izuku goes to visit his mother."

A series based on the Blooming Dead apocalype by otherwindow here on tumblr.

(Currently 1 part out of, uhhhh several, are up)

Amnesia Was Her Name

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36634963/chapters/91380028

"Although she survives, Mari does not come out completely unscathed, even if no one realizes it at first."

(Chapter 1 of 3 up)

WIPS that have yet to be uploaded

Acetone

A one-shot about Midoriya realizing the amount of destruction he's capable of. As a result, he begins to fear himself.

Baby Shoes

Midoriya Inko makes a deal with All For One in order to bring Izuku back to life. This takes place several years before canon.

Interrupted Signal

An AU where Midoriya never goes to U.A and All Might dies at Kamino. Before passing away, All Might passes One For All to Endeavor in order to preserve its legacy.

Years later, Midoriya has his own segment in a radio show exploring silly hero conspiracies. He's contacted by Todoroki Shoto about where Endeavor may have gotten his new power. It all goes from there.

Broken Crown

A Grandpa!AFO AU. Midoriya Inko and Izuku run away from All For One and seek to live a life in peace. Both of them have the quirk AFO and Izuku goes to UA.

Please Be Well

Instead of staying with Chisaki Kai, Eri is taken under All For One's wing with the sole purpose of helping her learn to control her quirk to reverse him back to his peak. The fic takes place years after these events, where she had been rescued and was adopted by Aizawa. She then begins to remember Midoriya, who had taken care of her during her time with the league and begins to wonder where he was now.

Can't Go Back

Bakugou Katsuki is blacklisted from hero schools after going too far with his bullying. He then learns to get over his own ego without the influence of anyone from U.A.

Game of Pricks

After overhearing a conversation from their teachers, Yaoyorozu and Jirou team up to find the U.A traitor, no matter the cost. Everyone in this fic is, as you can guess from the title, a prick.

Vault AU I have yet to name

Midoriya grows up in a vault with his Uncle Yoichi by his side. He's then rescued and learns about the outside world. Pretty typical for a Vault AU i guess lol

Seriously, I don’t want to hear your life story, just show me the casserole recipe I beg of you.

Midoriya Inko is a part-time blogger, part-time vigilante. She details her crimes in recipe blogs, and no one ever reads the story part of a recipe.

Midnight Bus

Class 1-A wakes up in a bus that never stops. That's all I got for the meantime lol

Inko Has Hanahaki AU that I also have not named yet

Pretty much self-explanatory, the Hanahaki is for Hisashi.

The Toshinori Parable

After a long day of grading, All Might looks around to find that everyone has disappeared. There’s also a narrator detailing every movement he makes and every thought that he thinks. It’s unnerving, to say the least.

-I’m not entirely sure how i want to writs this out, part of me kinda wants to make it a CYOA but a linear story would also kinda work.

Clifford the Messed Up Dog

There were many things Ochako didn’t know.

She doesn’t know how she was going to pay rent, nor did she know if she was apt enough to even be considered as a contestant for U.A, nor did she know if she’d ever actually make it as a hero. Though, she does know one thing.

Whatever was dragging itself through the alley was most certainly not a dog. ft. ghost deku, animal nomu's, and best girl uraraka

[ja-khajay]

Stuff I read (and liked) this year

As promised, here’s a list of the novels, comics, manga, etc... I read this year, focusing on the ones I enjoyed and would recommend to people. Under a cut, this is going to be a little long.

-------- Books --------

Favorite book of the year: Stranger in the Woods, by Michael Finkel

Non-fiction. Based on the interviews of the man himself by the author, it is about a man who felt so unfit for society he decided one day to leave it, and spent the next 28 years as a hidden hermit in forest in Maine. The book details how he survived there, how he was eventually found, and some of his reasons for doing so. It’s a great reflection on the nature of loneliness.

Indian creek, by Pete Fromm

...Yet another detailed tale of living alone in the woods. This time, the diary of a student who spent a winter in the mountains to help tend for salmon hatchlings, and how he spent the rest of his days hiking, hunting, meeting the locals. It’s a fun little book who, being set almost the whole world away from where I live, was a nice way to travel.

Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones

I don’t feel the need to explain this one since everyone and their mom has seen the movie adapted from it. The book, that I first read a decade ago before I actually watched the film, is a less romantized, more spirited telling of the same story. The writing is absolutely delightful and so is the world it paints, and it’s the first time in ages a book had me laughing out loud during my entire read.

-------- Comics (BD) --------

Favorite comic of the year: Monsieur Désire?, by Hubert and Virginie Augustin

A discreet young woman becomes a maid for a decadent, unbearable, byronesque young lord. Caked in the rigid and oppressive social hierarchy of the victorian era, you follow a mental and verbal joust between the two, as the lord tries his best to offend and corrupt his new unrelenting servant, to little success. The writing and especially the dialogues were stellar, drawing me into the tense atmosphere, watching this trainwreck of a character flamboyantly destroy himself. While there’s no precise content warnings that I can give, this is a mature and heavy story.

World of Edena, by Moebius

Anyone who’s followed this blog for over a month knows how much of a Moebius fan I am. Edena combines the vague, dreamlike, wordless storytelling from stuff like Arzach or The cat’s eyes with an actual plot. While I haven’t completly finished the story, the evolution of the main characters and how the story is told have been great to read through, and as always the art is beyond gorgeous. Unfortunately suffers from some good old sexism in the writing that even if minimal, tasted sour

Le roman de Renart, by Joan Sfar (book 1)

Sfar’s work always has a signature vibe of being dreamy and light without being light hearted, of being down to earth but drifting in the fantastical, and this one is no exception. It’s an adaption of a series of medieval folk tales I grew up with, who uses the same characters to tell an original story. If you’re familiar with icons like Renart as well as other mythological big boys like Merlin you’ll fit right in. There is something special in how the dialogues are written, who feel natural in a way that you’d overhear in a street corner and is very special to me.

The mercenary, by VIncente Segrelles

Another one I post about a lot on this blog. The mercenary is a king on the throne of fantasy cheese. The worldbuilding is interesting at times but the writing is a pretty pathetic display of glorious old time sword and sorcery sci-fantasy 10 years too late for it’s prime (warning for ye old sexism and orientalism that plagues the genre, cranked very high...) but you come and stay for the art. The entire thing is drawn in a series of hyper detailed oil paintings with an insane eye for technical detail, from the engineering of the weaponry, to the architecture and weather, to the anatomy of the fantasy creatures... Each panel stands out as it’s own painting which makes even flipping through it without reading the scenario a treat. Click here to see more of the art, in my Segrelles tag.

The ice maurauder, by Jacques Tardi

A short story about mad scientists entirely drawn like a 19th century engraving. In great Tardi tradition everyone is ugly and mean, it ends terribly, it’s both a hommage to the genre of late 19th cent. to early 1900s dramatic adventure novels and a critical eye on it, and it’s morbidly funny. Most people I saw online hated the way this was written but I’m not them and I really recommend this book. Die mad

-------- Manga --------

Favorite manga of the year: it’s a tie between the following two.

Cats of the Louvre, by Taiyo Matsumoto

Most wonderful comic I have read in ages. The story follows a bunch of semi-feral cats secretly living in the Louvre museum’s attic, and the small group of humans who share their life, walking through the museum as the night watch. When the cats are together, they are represented in a humanoid way, but still act like animals, and “become” cats again when a human is nearby. The plot is a sort of supernatural mystery centered around a kitten who walks around paintings. It’s a love letter to art, sincere and beautiful, with a unique art style and great characters.

Memoirs of amorous Gentlemen, by Moyoco Anno

A sex worker in early 20th century paris starts writing down a diary of the clients she meets, in a quest to cope with the troubles of her life. You follow her, her colleagues, and her bittersweet relationship with an abusive lover. I don’t have much words about this comic, but the art and writing both are amazing, it’s the perfect length and drew me in like little series had before. Obvious content warnings as this is an adult story that talks about sexuality, but also depicts both mental and physical abuse.

Hana, also by Taiyo Matsumoto 

A very short story, this was not made to be read as a comic originally, but served as storyboarding and visual development for a play, and the way it is written follows that. Hana is a slice of life story set in a fantasy world, of a young boy, his family, his village. Despite the setting being an original one, the character interactions are refreshingly... normal, and there is no huge plot to speak of, just a bit of the life of these characters. The art is beautiful, entirely black and white, with a scratchy style and an emphasis on contrast. Matsumoto is on a speedy road to becoming my favorite manga artist haha

Delicious in Dungeon, by Ryoko Kui

While not marked as my year’s favorite, I still consider this series among my favorite manga ever. The art and writing are amazing, and it’s both heartfelt, well concieved and plain hilarious. The story follows several parties of dungeon diving adventurers each on their little quests with a premise of our protagonists, on a panic rescue mission, surviving in the dungeon by cooking and eating the monsters they come across. From a DnD party turned cooking manual dinner of the week beginning, the plot creeps up on you and slowly thickens. I don’t want to spoil anything about the overarching story of this because it was a delight to discover for myself. While everything about DinD rules, I am especially fond of the design philosophy of the author, who puts great detail in the practicality and biology of what she draws, as well as the character writing. Everyone even side characters has so much charm and depth to them, the cast is so diverse and entertaining...! Each character is just a bit lame enough but endearing, and has their own little backstory that shows in the way they exist. It’s a delight

Chainsaw man, by Tatsuki Fujimoto

I went into CSM expecting a borderline campy hyperviolent dumb fun thing to read and was very surprised to find an uncomfortably well written story about a teenager being groomed. The hyperviolent dumb fun fights are here nonetheless and the series still qualifies as shonen for some reason, but the more mature character writing as well as some truly outlandish visuals make it something very special. If you can’t stand shonen, not sure you will like it, but if you don’t mind it, worth trying.

Witch hat atelier, by Kamome Shirahama

The oh so elegant fantasy seinen every cool kid started posting about this year, who I also succumbed to and fast. Witch hat is hard to explain, as most of it’s plot revolves around the rules of the world it’s set in, specifically the regulations around it’s magic and the social and historical reasons for them. It’s about growing up, learning, disability, making art. You follow a little girl taken in by a witch as an apprentice, her magical education, and learn little by little why her lovely teacher is so willing to break a lot of rules... While a bit too gentle and pretty for my taste at times, Witch hat has great worldbuilding and explores sensitive themes I rarely see in manga, much less in fantasy. And Berserk wishes it had art this good

[writingwithcolor]

B’nei mitzvah in spaceship without Jewish community | Jewish character celebrating Christmas

Hi! Thank you so much for running this blog. I appreciate how much time and effort all the mods have put into it. I finished reading through the whole Jewish tag a few days ago, and I’ve learned so much! I’m writing a Voltron fic (I *know* lol) and decided to make one of the protagonists a white nonbinary Ashkenazi Reform Jewish girl. Her astronaut brother mysteriously disappears in space and is presumed dead, so she runs away from home a couple of months before her b'nei mitzvah to find him. Now, she’s in a group of rebels in space fighting against an Empire. I have two concerns:

1. Everyone on the ship misses home, so part of the way they cope is through getting in touch with their cultures. They’re gonna celebrate (a mostly non-Americanized) Christmas because it matters a lot to some of the characters for non-religious reasons. To what extent can my Jewish character participate in the celebration without it being weird? I want her to enjoy herself more because she’s with her friends than because Jesus etc. They’ll also celebrate Chanukah, if that helps. I know Chanukah isn’t a major holiday, so I also want to have her celebrate a more significant one like Rosh Hashanah and/or Purim with them. Is it okay for gentiles to participate in those holiday celebrations, or should she do that alone?

2. Throughout most of the story, she’ll struggle with choosing whether to prioritize fighting the Empire or finding her brother and bringing him home. When she eventually does find her brother (who also turns out to be a rebel), he lets her decide whether they stay or go home. I thought it would be nice if she decided to stay and keep fighting for the greater good after she finally has her b'nei mitzvah. Her friends and other experiences are also a big part of why she decides to stay, but the b'nei mitzvah would be what gives her the final push she needs to decide. I don’t know if it would be okay for me to write the ceremony itself or if she can even have one if only two of the eight people on the ship are Jewish. I read that not everyone has a b'nei mitzvah and that it’s not required, but I feel like it’d be a big deal to her character. Should I keep the b'nei mitzvah idea, or am I heading towards appropriative territory here?

I want to make her Jewishness a big part of her character’s growth, and I really want to make sure I do it respectfully and accurately. I plan on finding a sensitivity reader when I’ve made more progress with actually writing everything out. Thank you for any insight you might offer!

It feels off to me to join a community symbolically when you’re far away FROM the community. Why not just have had her already have done the ceremony before she has all these adventures? That way it could just be a straightforward story about a Jewish teen having exciting heroic adventures in space, rather than a story about what happens when you have to miss aspects of Jewish life because you’re in space. It would also make the “….well, I guess I’m around for Christmas” bit less weighted because then that would be the only one of those instead of having two of those.

–Shira 

I’ll cover some other territory here. For those who don’t know, b'nei mitzvah is something you just automatically become at the correct age, the ceremony is simply to celebrate that with the community. Not all people have the ceremony, but if you are Jewish, and of age (for religious purposes), your status changes with or without it. Personally, I’m comfortable with showing a Jewish character finding a way to have a Jewish celebration when the circumstances are less than ideal, for me the other aspects of the story are more troubling. 

On the subject of having a Jewish character celebrate Christmas with their friends… look I don’t like this trope. There are many Jewish people, who are completely secular, who don’t celebrate Christmas, because it is explicitly a Christian holiday, and secular Jewish people are still Jewish. Some Jewish people (secular or otherwise) do choose to celebrate other holidays, and I am very comfortable with those folks telling their own stories. What I’m not happy with is the push from outside of the community for every Jewish character to slide into assimilation. 

Some Jewish people will go to Christmas parties and not eat the food, because they keep kosher, or won’t stay for a tree-lighting, because that feels like it goes too far, or will give presents but not receive them. There are a huge number of ways we might handle Christmas, and I appreciate that you plan to show holidays other than just Chanukah (and yes, it’s fine for non-Jewish characters to join her in her holidays, if she invites them), but I always question why a non-Jewish writer is so keen to show Jewish characters celebrating Christmas. The most generous version of me wants to assume that you get so much out of Christmas that you want to share it, but the part of me that knows about the pressures to assimilate, and the history of increased antisemitic violence around Christmas thinks… just leave this kid alone. She missed her celebration, she’s far from her community, and now she has to go put on a Happy Assimilated Smile for the culturally Christian folks around her. From a nonbinary Jewish perspective, it’s a little unusual for your nonbinary character to use she/her pronouns, and use b'nei mitzvah as a gender neutral alternative to the gendered bat mitzvah. In secular life, at least in the US, it’s not uncommon for people to use multiple pronouns, but I haven’t met, or even heard of, a single person using gendered pronouns secularly, and using new neutral alternatives religiously. It absolutely could happen but, because it is so unusual, to me it reads as either invalidating the character’s gender, or tokenizing her in the religious sphere. 

–Dierdra 

Shira, I think that’s a really good idea to make the character post-b'nei mitzvah. That way you just have a Jewish character having adventures rather than her culture being The Conflict. (And also, a pre-b'nei mitzvah seems a bit young for this storyline? Can she really consent to fighting alongside the rebels? Do they habitually take unaccompanied children on their ship? To me a teenager would make more sense, but hey it’s not my story!)

Dierdra, your answer regarding the Christmas aspect was awesome and really thorough. Thanks for your thoughts on the pronouns as well, it also jarred with me but I was waiting to hear your opinion as you have lived experience. My worry is if you use gender neutral terms for one but not the other, you risk falling into to the stereotype that only marginalised religious folks have to change our language etc to be inclusive to LGBTQ+ people, but everyone else is fine. 

I wanted to come back to the point about Rosh Hashana. First of all, thank you for acknowledging that we have holidays that are more important than Chanukah! Sooo many OP’s don’t know that. In terms of how she would celebrate it, I agree it’s fine to invite non-Jewish people along. However, given how community-based Jewish life is, making her keep Yom Tov on her own feels a bit like a torture story, especially when others have people to celebrate Christmas with. I wonder if you’ve thought about giving her a Jewish friend on the ship? Especially if you want her Jewishness to be part of her growth as you mentioned, an older Jewish friend and mentor could be a huge help :)

–Shoshi

As you can see, we have a wide range of possibilities for “what happens when you ask a Jewish person about celebrating Christmas.” I didn’t mind hanging around it as an outsider myself until a certain subset of Christians started being mean-spirited about it in the news plus some personal trauma that time of year, as long as everyone involved was clear that I was just participating from the outside and this didn’t somehow change me. (If I may make an analogy: compare it to going to a baby shower when you want to support your friend or family member but also really don’t want kids of your own. You’re going to have a whole different experience if your decision is respected vs. if all the other guests treat you like you being there means you’ll change your mind about not wanting kids.)

That being said, it’s still all over the map. Some people IRL are okay even going to mass with their partner’s Catholic family (without participating in communion obvs.) Some would never, ever do that and are sitting here with shocked faces that I even typed that. But what becomes important is the way it’s written. Sitting around listening to the Christmas story is probably a bad fit for your fanfic, but helping other people bake Christmas cookies or put ornaments on a tree could work. The ornament thing could remind her of decorating a sukkah, and she could point that out to the others. 

I guess I’m saying is 

keep her participation secular, and 

keep her participation from leaning into the idea that we’re unhappy with our customs and would prefer to do it their way. 

I have literally never in my life felt jealous of the kids who “got to do Santa” (for example) and while I’m sure some kids were and they’re valid too, I think it’s important to show that it’s not a universal phenomenon.

–Shira

[raijinden]

     e - heh . ;nsfw !!

undoubtedly dominant in all things learned over her 700+ year reign, and the bedroom is no different -- she is loathe to give up that sense of control that has grown to feel so stable to her . it is not an entirely impossible prospect though -- just do not expect to see the shogun beneath you in the first few times you are intimate with her, and certainly do not expect her to be some crying and submissive virgin

absolutely the slowest burn you could imagine, and then some . if you are invited to share her bed, it is because she knows you, has become incredibly familiar with you and has above all, placed her absolute trust and faith in you . sex, while incredibly intimate, is the most prime opportunity to do incredibly un - intimate things ( assassination, for example ) . but that makes it all the sweeter when you are invited to lay with her-- yet even as her partner, it will take a fair amount of talk and discussion for her to allow you to use anything related to your vision, if you have such a thing, on her .

she is, in all positions, very quiet . it is not so much through her voice and sounds that you will get your reactions, but rather through her body . a stutter in her breath, the flutter of her eyelids, muscle tensing and the way hands curl in or grasp to something, they’re all ways to gauge her pleasure . while normally her eyes are that dull, nigh lifeless shade of lavender, when she is wrought with emotion, as in the situation with the vision reclamation, her eyes will come to life with light . and, it should come as no surprise, in sex it is no different-- they are vibrant with amethyst and crimson mixing as one at her peak . it is also a way to tell when she’s turned on, though many might be led to believe the light up with an emotion such as annoyance or something else

you have, at your disposal, perhaps the simultaneously greatest and worst person you could possibly fall into bed with if you happen to be a connoisseur of erotic electrostimulation ( really, yall should have seen this one coming a mile away ) . she is the very embodiment of electro, and controls it just as easily as she breathes . she knows what it can do to the body, negative and positive, and knows exactly where to send a controlled shock to induce pleasure and pain-- do not ask her to shock you anywhere but your lower half, she will not, and is like to throw the whole possibility out for asking her to be irresponsible with you like that .

if you are her partner, expect a certain measure of possessiveness . certainly nothing overbearing, like demanding you live on the tenshukaku grounds and stay locked in a room from danger like some sort of pet . however, you will be marked with her sigil-- a shining violet electro mitsudomoe . you are asked first where you would prefer it, and she makes no pretense about its implications nor that she will do it . to keep the claims of others away-- almost like a ward of hers . if you bear it, you will not be struck by the lightning no matter where in teyvat you are-- the tatarigami will not touch you, the wily spirits of inazuma will not dare trifle with you . but it’s mostly to be used by her as an alarm of sorts-- it has much the same effect as if you were inazuman by blood: she can sense when you are in danger, and since you are her most beloved, she will without hesitation come to your aid .

funny enough, it is embarrassingly easy to get the ear of the shogun being that she is an archon and invoking her name, generally in prayer, will let your words reach her . as i said, generally in prayer, but there is certainly nothing to stop you from whispering filthy fantasies and praising words to her ear no matter where in the world you are, and she isn’t like to tune it out unless its from an unwarranted source . she’s not an easy thing to ‘ turn - on ‘ so to speak, but enough of this and she may be inclined to do something like respond belatedly if she’s in the middle of a meeting, so focused on your words as she would be .

branching a little in part from the possessiveness, she will often refer to you by a pet name unless you staunchly oppose it . something uniquely for you that she does not even think of referring to any other by . not something as common as ‘ sweetheart ‘ or ‘ baby ‘, no it is tailored based on how she views you . take, for example ( and definitely not referring to any people in particular wink - wink - nudge - nudge ;)))) ) ‘ my siren ‘, ‘ my vixen ‘ or ‘ my rook ‘ . notice the use of my in all of them ? good .

depending when you do fall into bed with her, you may notice the more ... animalistic traits of hers the stems from the power of the beastly first archon within her . sharp and ebony black canines that she tends to file down when they get out of hand and poke painted nails that grow out in a nasty point and are a natural shade of light purple . she has no problem in using them to further mark you, bruise you, leave physical evidence, especially if you specifically ask he to let them grow out and use on you ( which she is willing to do ) . if you are very lucky ? hidden and wolfish tail that is generally tucked away into her attire will react .

oh don’t doubt that she knows just how desirable she looks; she very much finds a fair bit of enjoyment in teasing her significant other with her body when they are alone . yes, yes, her almighty booba and yadda - yadda - yadda-- she knows well just how much of a magnet they are for salacious eyes, and she is unafraid to use her appearance to tease at her partner/s . she’s tall enough to loom over most people she happens across, and if she happens to trap you against the wall or the bed, leaning down until she is pressed up against you and murmuring sweet nothings and other such things in your ear .

while using ‘ baal ‘ is one way of trying to get into her head during intimacy, it is inarguable that it’s more effective to use her given name ( tomoe // ei ) due to the implications . that you call her by that name rather than her title as deity equates to you viewing her as human, and an equal . which, at its core, is what she views you as, if you become her partner .

perhaps something of a ‘ dirty - little - secret ‘, she has always had a certain ... appreciation for bondage, in any capacity . whether it is a simple manner of an electro - binding, an coat or sash, or as intricate as certain rope - bindings can get to be, she has an interest in it . in much the same vein as vision usage during sex, it will take a lengthy amount of discussion and where to draw the line, but she is willing to be tied up as well . and, for your information, she has certainly done her research and knows most of the knots, and even developed a couple of her own .

if such a thing is ever needed, her go - to safeword is ‘ narukami ‘ . as egotistic as it seems, she knows she is not likely to call out such a thing in the heat of the moment . as such, don’t call her that or any variation thereof in bed .

something i myself am kind of tentative about but -- i base a lot of headcanons off information that i learned when i first started writing in genshin with my zhongli / morax blog . in particular, especially since REX INCOGNITO spoke of rex lapis descending to the mortal world to travel it in many different forms, including a man, a woman and a child, i have toyed with the idea of such a thing being within the power of any archons . that is, the altering of one’s appearance, and since barbatos was able to mold his appearance based on his cherished bard, i could see it feasibly work-- so it’s more of a tentative thought than true headcanon at this point but if her significant other so desired it, she could alter herself . she is not terribly comfortable in another form for extended periods though, and she would respond solely to she / her / hers pronouns .

[tealin]

Cape Crozier: The Spiritual Journey

As usual, please check out http://twirlynoodle.com/blog to see this post and others in their original (functioning) formatting.

Since getting seriously into polar history, I kept hearing the same two things from polar veterans.  One was that I could not possibly understand the story properly, or be able to depict it truthfully, unless I visited Antarctica myself.  The other was that Antarctica changes people.  This was unanimous amongst scientists, historians, and even tourists: one cannot help but be profoundly affected by contact with Antarctica; that is just a fact of the place.

I have certainly been changed by Antarctica indirectly.  The inner kernel of “me” is the same in my earliest memories as now, but the Terra Nova men and their experiences have fundamentally shifted how that kernel views and relates to the world and the people around me.  I am a vastly better person for their influence, and that is a large part of why I have been so dogged in getting their story to a new audience: the hope that, through my work, even one other person might be changed in the same way.

When I finally got the chance to visit Antarctica in person, I had half an eye out for signs something had happened.  Two weeks into my visit, I had learned a lot and had some meaningful experiences, but I couldn't say I had changed at all.  Maybe that initial action-at-a-distance was the change I had been promised after all.

Then I went to Cape Crozier.

As we have spread around the planet, humans have noted certain places as being special in some way, places of some sort of power, or where the spirit world is a little more tangible.  The Celts called these 'thin places', where the fabric of reality is threadbare, and Something Else comes a little closer.  One can have a 'thin' experience anywhere, but certain places seem to encourage them.  They may remain completely unmarked, or may become loci for centuries of pilgrimage, or anything in between, but they exist in some form in every culture except, perhaps, the post-Enlightenment intellectual West.

Antarctica, generally, feels like where the edge of a painting dissolves into brushstrokes. There is a certain unreality baked-in: the sun wheels around the sky without setting, one can count on one hand the species of life regularly seen, and everything – the landscape, the weather, the distances – is so vastly out of proportion to puny humanity.  One could argue that this 'unfinished' feeling is because so much of it is white, but I have travelled through many snow-covered landscapes, and they feel like landscapes covered in snow, not fundamentally blank places with a few suggestive details dropped in by an artist whose main attention was elsewhere.

Cape Crozier was something else entirely, though.  It is, of course, hanging off the edge of Ross Island, but it felt more like it was hanging off the edge of reality itself.  It is a thin place par excellence.  And I had an experience there which I have been trying to process since landing back at McMurdo.  When I tried to discuss it with friends, my ability to speak quite simply stopped.  Then the pandemic, and the new house, and pushing through Vol.1, all rose up and drove it to the back of my mind.  In February I wasn't ready to talk about it; here in October, I worry it's too late.  But I feel compelled to share what happened there, and if I don't do it now, I don't know if I ever will.

If this were a novel, at Cape Crozier I would have felt the thinness of time, and a closer connection to the dead men I had followed there – perhaps almost to believe they weren't dead at all!  In such a place, that didn't seem impossible.  But that is not what happened.  Nor did I have some sort of enlightenment beamed into my head from the heavens.  Even the word 'happened' is too suggestive of some sort of discrete external event.  If you had asked me, there, at the time, I'd have said I was just sitting there thinking. But I sit thinking a lot in life, and this was not the sort of thinking I am used to.  It was more like a revelation.  Not in the trumpets and angels sense, but in a literal one: layers of clutter and gloss were pulled back to reveal a simple underlying truth.  It was, in essence, a dose of perspective, a view from high and far enough away to see the big picture, and not the surface detail.  As I sat at the base of a boulder, gazing at the stone igloo and gawking at how completely insane were the men who dragged their sledges to this desolate nowhere to build it, I suddenly saw my life as it appeared in the Author's notes.

Ever since first getting the inkling that this story would make a good graphic novel, it has felt like a calling.  I said 'no' to the calling for years – some sort of cosmic wrong number – but when I finally said 'yes' everything started falling into place.  That is supposed to be a good sign, for a calling.  And I was happy following it, though it wasn't easy or comfortable.  As far as I could deduce, under my own power, it seemed like what I ought to be doing.  That is not to say there weren't doubts, especially in the grey light of a winter morning when I would lie in my rented bed, looking at my desk and wondering what on earth I was doing with my life.  And I was not untroubled by other concerns: Shouldn't I be more helpful to my family? Why have I been persistently unable to find a tribe, or a relationship?  Will I be allowed to stay in the UK?  Can I do this work and keep myself fed and housed?

Here, on a wind-scoured ridge on the edge of nowhere, reflecting on its history of unbelievable and, it could be argued, pointless hardship, one might expect to realise the folly of one's ways, and to swear off quixotic enterprises in favour of the hitherto unappreciated quotidian stuff that really matters.  But that is not what happened.  Instead, I got this dose of clarity:

I am here to tell this story.  Not here, at Cape Crozier, in this instant (although that too), but here, on this planet, as a human being.  This is what I am for.

Whatever I need to make it happen will be provided.  No less, and no more.

Everything else?  Tangential.  Not worth worrying about.  What needs to happen, will happen, and if it doesn't happen, it didn't need to.  And that's OK.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

When I was young, we had a puzzle of the United States of America.  It was made of Masonite, and the pieces were cut out in the shapes of the states, which would be assembled to fill the recessed outline of the country.  Because they were geographical shapes and not interlocking jigsaw pieces, they would slide and rattle around until the last one got wedged in and locked everything else in place.

Most of my life, I have felt like that rattly puzzle.  I didn't realise it because I had never known there was another way to be.  But there under the boulder it felt like that last piece had been dropped in, that secured all the loose ones.  It was not that Cape Crozier was my missing piece and now that I had it I was complete – that is far too literal.  The missing piece was a something that wasn't even a thing; rather, in that moment of clarity, I felt all the jangling bits come to rest, and a wholly unfamiliar solidity.  At last the clay wobbling around the potter's wheel had been centred, and I felt a metaphysical ground beneath my metaphysical feet that I had not known it was possible to feel.

Ironically, the rest of the day I felt like I wasn't touching the actual ground at all, perhaps because what I was anchored to was on another plane entirely.  The stumbling shamble through the wind back to the helicopter might as well have been happening to someone else.  We took off into the gale, and though the pilot acted as though it was perfectly ordinary, when we were rounding the ridge he said 'wow, that's the rotor all the way to the left' which I didn't understand but didn't sound great.  Nevertheless the sense of peace persisted, and I understood how, in his last letter to his wife, which he knew would be his last, Wilson could have kept insisting 'all is well.'  (I knew why he wrote that: he had read Julian of Norwich.  But now I understood why.)

The journey back was a transcendence all of its own, the beauty of which seemed to be a perfectly natural outward manifestation of that altered state.  We touched down in time for me to make it to the Galley just as it opened for dinner, so we couldn't have been gone two whole hours, and that seemed absurd to me – surely I had sat under that boulder for two hours at least?  Or had we only been at the igloo ten minutes?  It was impossible to tell.

What I wanted more than anything was to go up a mountain and ponder the whole thing, alone, until it sorted itself out and I was ready to come back down again.  I could have gone up Observation Hill, but the weather looked liable to turn into a proper blizzard at any moment.  So, lacking a better option, I went to go eat, and, after having a chuckle at the Cherry Turnovers, slunk to the back where I could usually count on having a small wallflower table to myself, especially this early.  But one of the larger tables was full of young dudes talking about bar fights they'd been involved in, and I just … couldn't.  So I wandered into the main area and discovered the One Strange Rock crew having an early dinner as well, begged a spot at their table, and ate swaddled in friendly natter instead of at one with the universe in a blizzard.  It amounted to much the same thing.

Eventually one of them said, 'You went to Cape Crozier today, didn't you? How was that?'

I made an exploding gesture around my head and said 'Pkhhhh.'

Cherry wrote that the Winter Journey 'had beggared our language'.  I am sure that my inarticulate gesture is not what he meant.  But at the same time, in fact at that very dinner, I realised something about his writing.  The Winter Journey chapter is unanimously regarded as the finest part of The Worst Journey in the World.  Some people question that this otherwise unremarkable country gent, who never produced another book, could have written with such profound and expressive talent, and they posit that his friend and neighbour George Bernard Shaw, who definitely did consult on the book, must have ghostwritten it.  I have read enough of Cherry's writing – in his own hand – to know this is bosh; the voice and the style are distinctly his.  What's more, I was surprised to discover, when going through his journals, that a large portion of the Winter Journey chapter was not written last, despite it being the last to join the manuscript of Worst Journey, but was in fact written in his bunk at Cape Evans while he was recuperating from the experience.  In the published book, he singles out some passages as being from 'my own diary' but great tracts of unattributed narration are more or less verbatim quotations as well.  The experience related therein feels so immediate because it was.

The rest of Worst Journey, while perfectly readable, is largely a narrative rewrite of Cherry's and others' diaries.  Sometimes he lets others carry the story for pages at a time.  His writing is undeniably good, but is often simply mortar, filling gaps and binding sources together to tell a history that no human invention could better.  The Winter Journey chapter, on the other hand, reads like a torrent of pure inspiration pouring through him onto the page.  That such vivid, timeless prose should have come from an exhausted 25-year-old in his bunk in a wooden hut is no less remarkable than from a jaded 35-year-old in the library of his country house.

Artists of all stripes will often say that their best work is not their own creation, but feels like it already existed and came through them from somewhere else. It's as if there's a great Beyond where things that need to come into the world – stories, images, performances – queue up for passage through artists' minds and bodies.  Sometimes one taps into it by luck; usually it's a combination of training and discipline that makes the link traversable, from time to time.  Perhaps artists' minds are their own thin places, in a way.  Sitting there at dinner with my friends, I felt as though I'd brushed against the fabric between this reality and that Beyond, and, like touching the wall of a tent in a rainstorm, broken the surface tension and allowed something through.  I felt like, if I just put pencil to paper, something could flow through me, if only I could narrow down a subject.  With the intensity of his experience, Cherry did not so much brush against the wet tent fabric as punch a hole through it; feeling just a small inkling of that myself, it was no wonder that the creative energy poured into his diary with such intuitive eloquence.

Had I sat down to write this that night, perhaps I could have tapped into that flow, but I didn't feel I was ready.  I can guarantee you that right now I am not tapped into anything but a vague and dwindling recollection.  As vast as the experience was, by putting a box of words around it, I cannot help but reduce it to the confines of the box.  But that is the best I can do under my own power.

Compared to the seismic transformation of character brought about by my first vicarious encounter with Antarctica, the insight at Cape Crozier was very small and personal, but once in place, the ramifications have been substantial.  When I arrived back home, just before Christmas, the world was still as it ever was, but I was different, and I noticed how differently I related to everything.  Things I loved about Cambridge, which previously made me desperate to stay, I appreciated no less, but valued instead as something I had the honour to enjoy for a while, and didn't need to hold on to.  A young-adults group which I'd hung around, formerly a precious simulacrum of a social life, now felt hollow, and I abandoned it in favour of time spent one-on-one with the handful of people who I really appreciated.  They all said I seemed different; one person said I seemed 'sad', but I think I had just taken the mask off the seriousness which tends to frighten people. I have never been afraid to be myself, but in recent years have tried to mitigate that self in relation to others; there seemed no point to that, now.  It was as if my inner gyroscope had finally started spinning, and I had a sense of balance and orientation that I hadn't before.

Holding on to the clarity of that moment, and the centredness it brought me, has not been easy.  It didn't keep me from panicking when my housemate excoriated me back in March.  It didn't focus my mind on my work as soon as I'd moved into the new place, or save me from getting angry and frustrated when battling my tax returns.  Sometimes it's very hard to remember at all.  But I know what happened, and I can remember remembering, even if I can't recapture the feeling itself.  Sometimes, when it's very windy, I seek out a high open place in the hope of feeling it again, but it hasn't worked.  Maybe it doesn't need to.  Having it once was all I really needed, and even if I succeeded in flicking those switches again, what good would it do that hasn't already been done?

I could not foresee, on that windswept ridge on the edge of reality, where the world would be in 2020.  In wry moments I think I was only a few months ahead of a large portion of humanity, who have been forced to sort things out when the pandemic stripped away their preoccupations and illusions.  Maybe you are one of them, and you recognise some of what I've described.  Maybe you feel like you've been running away from it.  Maybe you have been running towards it but have been unable to find it.  All I can tell you is: it's worth the seeking.

I wish everyone in the world could visit Antarctica, even just once, and see how it changes them.  The world would be such a better place.  I am so profoundly grateful that I had the chance, and am determined to pay it forward by bringing some shred of that experience to as many people as possible.  If my communication fails to bridge that gap for you, then take it upon yourself to find your own thin place.  They are all around.  It only requires that you be receptive, and undertake to look.