#my two moods down to a point
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Shout out to all artists who had to work without any strong direction or instruction.
I wish you a merry āthe client likes it anywaysā
#non mdzs#The real mood of this comic is:#AKA: you are in charge of designing a character but have only been given personality as a reference.#This was technically for a game dev meeting and I am part of a team rather than a contractor hired on.#But hey the anxiety going into this was still crazy high. I was playing a risky gambit.#Part two of this comic is me putting all those clowns on a powerpoint and presenting them in front of a few people.#Pointing at them and saying āOkay which clown do you like best? How can we sex up this clown more?ā#I think I may be giving the impression that Iām more into clowns than I actually am. It just fit with the character okay!#I had to consult the REAL down-for-clowners for tips. Photos exchanged in the dark alleys of a discord server.#A hooded figure shakes their head at the first photo. Slowly nods as I add puffy sleeves. Nods furiously as I drop the neckline.#This clown still needs to marinate a bit more before Iām ready to present them to the wider world.#So stay tuned! They have become a delight to draw and develop!#Game dev diary#As this is part of that new arc in my life.#Can you tell I've been practicing with digital art a lot more? Boy have I ever! I'm getting stronger! And faster!
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the thing about the fob healing tour is that it has filled me with so much vindication that now whenever i see Bad Fall Out Boy Opinions (of which so many people are so unnecessarily loud about) itās literally just like lol okay so you missed the point so bad it makes you look stupid and we are all laughing at you. get laughed at loser we do not have time to entertain your silliness we are busy healing and partying together forever.
#this isnt about anyone specific itās about a lot of people on various platforms just so blatantly missing the point#1) if you arent a fob fan why does fob and their fans having a good time piss you off.#why does it make you feel the need to make some snarky comment about how Your Band Is Better like. bro you missed the point of BOTH bands#this is so sad for you#2) mania/post hiatus haters who claim to be fans lmao do you realize how idiotic you sound. get a clueeeeeeeee#3) i have chosen not to emotionally engage in polls here because all they do is bring out the worst in people#but also. be for real lmao. you can vote for what you personally prefer and just say that#there is absolutely no need to start cutting one of them down or mocking the lyrics#4) people commenting on joe and peteās expressions and movements are either so uninformed itās laughable#or are āableist or racist or both#ANYWAY. we have two shows left and iām so excited for them and that is where i am investing my time and energy#and not engaging with people looking to stir shit up#or just generally bring down the mood#we are better than that.
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The strongest warriors are those that love botw but don't ship zelink (me its me I'm the strongest warrior)
#*points at botw link* the boy is aroace and theres nothing you could say or do that'll convince me otherwise#(boy in an incredibly nonbinary way btw. hes also nonbinary to me and i cant be convinced otherwise of that either)#tbh? I generally dont ship zelink lol idk its never appealed to me like i never *got* it?#with the exception of skyward sword zelink but thats becos ur invested from the start w/ those two#and link isnt a knight so he isnt bound by obligated--thats just his best friend!!!!#and maybe he didn't have feelings at first but after all that shit went down and theres the threat of him losing her#(and vice versa on Zelda's end) it puts things into perspective...they cant and dont want to fathom a world without the other#honestly i read it both as romance and transcending the confines of romance#(which i suppose suits two characters whose souls/spirits are doomed to reincarnate every cycle lol)#but anyways#maybe also spirit tracks zelink. sometimes! it depends on my mood#spirit tracks arguably (and i will argue) has the best developed zelda so that definitely contributes#becos as much as i love botw and like totk. they really pissed on zelda's character...especially in totk#spirit tracks zelda is much more fleshed out and complete im gonna be real w/ u#again w/ her and link theyve been through shit together and although they werent friends to start like ss link and zelda#they grow into it and eventually become incredibly close so sometimes i read it as romance#but otherwise yeah. not a huge zelink fan!#botw link is much more interested in food than romance and of that isn't the most stereotypical ace thing than idk what is#scout.txt
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how life got me feeling now š
#donāt even get me FUCKING STARTED#THE SAME WEEK#JAEHYUN SOLO#also donāt get me started on jaehyun solo#guess who got her points proved by the king himself š#ALSO I TOLD YOU GUYS GONE AND LOST ARE RELATED TO EO#ok let me stfu and address the real. elephant in the room#moon fucking taeil youāre so dead to me and youāre the biggest dissapointment iāve ever came across from.#long story short we donāt know these guysā¦#i feel so#betrayed š„² kinda bc he was my first bias (LORD IM PRAYING PLEASEEEEEEEE NOT JOHNNY SEO CMON šššš ID BE THE MOST HEARTBROKEN PERSON)#also i feel betrayed bc this guy was raised by a single mom and a younger sister. itās jaeil time. i fucking hate you#also about my two parents š¤š¤ i congratulate yāall before johnny does#i can step down now š„±#but my mood swings are even worse than chels starting from yesterday āŗļø but donāt worry iām fine#iām fine i really am#all there is to do is pray that ALL the victims get their justice#ALL OF THEM.#but rather than everything that has happenedā¦ i missed you all ā¹ļø#if u even care š„±š„±#anyways.#š¤ā ā mika on the mic š š š ź©Ė
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My last post about the progress on my Batuu vest left off with me contemplating exterior pockets, looking to Bix Caleen as an example of a fitted vest in the Star Wars universe. I ended up talking myself out of any visible exterior pockets, with or without flaps, after looking at all those pictures of Bix. I've got enough other bits of visual interest going on with my outfit that I felt like exterior pockets just cluttered up the look.
Once I had decided against adding additional pockets, I was able to move on to the next step: finishing all the edges and attaching the lining to the exterior in preparation for getting the zipper in place. I turned under the armscyes of the lining and the exterior separately, both using a blue lace hem tape that I originally bought to go with this fabric back in 2016. Eventually I'll top-stitch them together with the hem tape sandwiched invisibly between the exterior and the lining, but for now they're finished enough to allow me to try the vest on without fraying the armscyes.
It took me awhile to think through all the steps for attaching the zipper, with all the asymmetry and overlapping and exterior and lining, while also not wanting the zipper to show from the outside at all. Eventually I figured out that I would need the underlap (left front) to be completely sewn together with the edges finished before I could attach the zipper to that side -- but I would need the overlap (right front) to not be sewn together yet, so that I could attach the zipper just to the lining.
With that finally figured out, I put the lining and the exterior together with right/finished sides together, lined up all the seams and notches carefully, then pinned the edges together from the left (underlap side) shoulder, down the center front of the underlap, and around the lower edge of the vest all the way around to the bottom corner of the center front on the overlapping right side of the vest.
After a lot of ironing to get all of that to lay flat when right side out, I was able to trim the center front edge of the overlap to be nice and clean and straight again. When I drafted the center front panels, I modified that right side to have an additional ~2" of width past where I wanted the zipper to be, specifically so there would be a built-in flap to cover over the zipper. Remember: no visible zippers in Star Wars!
Once I had the overlap panels of both the lining and the exterior all trued up, I marked the center front line on the lining side (in the below pic, the angled line going from lower left to upper right), laid half of the separating zipper onto the fabric so that the teeth were lined up with where the center front line met the lower edge of the vest, then measured from the outside edge of the zipper ribbon to the cut edge of the overlap panel. It was just about 7cm away from that edge, so I measured that distance all the way up (past the dashed line that marked the underbust elevation) and drew a nice crisp line with my chalk pen.
That gave me an easy line to follow when sewing the zipper to the inside/lining of the overlapping flap. Since I hadn't sewn the edge of that panel together yet, I was able to move the exterior layer out of the way and sew the zipper only to the lining, for now. I sewed one line of stitching just slightly in from the outside edge of the zipper ribbon, then did a second pass about halfway between the edge and the zipper teeth. It's on there nice and secure, but has a bit of room to separate from the fabric while it's being zipped, so it doesn't get fiddly.
After that, it was just a matter of pinning the other side of the zipper to the lower front corner of the underlap (this time on the exterior side of the fabric, where it faces the lining of the overlap), then try it on with the rest of my Batuu Bounding outfit and pin the underlap side of the zipper until I had the fit I wanted.
I sewed down that side to match the overlap panel side of the zipper, then tried everything on again to double-check the fit. It was a bit weird with the exterior of the overlap flap still unattached, but it fit well enough that I decided to sew the edges of that overlap flap from the lower corner up to the shoulder seam. The back of the neckline is still open, and the armscyes have been turned under but not attached to each other yet, so I can turn the whole thing right side out by pulling it through the back of the neck. With all that ironed and the zipper zipped up, the vest looks like this currently:
Folding back the outer edge of the overlap reveals the zipper. Because of all the overlapping and underlapping, the zipper is just top-stitched in place. It was way more mind-bending to figure out where everything needed to be placed to get this look, but way easier to actually sew on than, say, an invisible zipper set into a seam.
At this point I was able to try on the vest (with my Jyn Erso sweatshirt) and get a pretty good idea of the overall look. I still want to do a bunch of top-stitching both for accent and to help everything lay flat, but even with that I think I'm going to need something to keep the flap over the zipper from coming open.
I looked at a bunch of options for Star Wars-y looking buckles, settled on one I liked the best, then cut the basic size of them out of paper and taped five of them to the outside of the overlap just to get a basic idea of how it would look. I got Jack to weigh in on it too, and we both felt that the buckles were reducing the sleekness of the vest, and weirdly pushing it more towards an Imperial/First Order sort of look. My character isn't an out-and-out rebel, but she doesn't side with the First Order either. I pulled the taped on paper off again, and both Jack and I felt that that was the significantly better look.
But since I knew I still wanted some sort of closures to keep the flap down -- including one at the top left shoulder, that will hang open most of the time, along the lines of Han Solo's and Cassian Andor's shirts (and a bunch of others, this sort of overlap detail shows up frequently all throughout the franchise) and thus be visible where it hangs open.
I ended up finding these slightly unusual looking hooks-and-eyes that I think will provide a nice, nearly invisible look through the torso of the vest, but not look totally out of place on the flap edge that's hanging open. Bix's fitted coat has a similar closure of just barely visible, just slightly odd hooks and eyes, so I feel like I'm in good company there. They should arrive tomorrow, giving me enough time to hopefully get some of the top-stitching done before then.
That top-stitching is the next step, and one of the last things I need to do for this vest project. I want to top-stitch just inside all the finished edges, including the armscyes, and on each side of each of the seams, probably 2-3mm away from the edge and the seamline. That's going to involve getting everything lined up correctly and all the seam allowances lying flat inside the space between the exterior and the lining, but I think the effect will be totally worth it, both for the smoother fit and the subtle visual interest.
After that, I'll have some handsewing to do to invisibly anchor the zipper to the exterior of the overlap panel and to attach the hooks and eyes, once they arrive. The very last thing I'll do on this project is decide if I want a little stand-up half collar that ends somewhere on top of the shoulder, a bit like the one on Jyn Erso's vest.
I'm pretty sure I want a collar like that, the question is just if I need to lower the neckline in the back first, and then how far forward on the shoulder I should bring the collar. Once I've decided on that, I'll cut it out in two layers, lining and exterior, and sew the outside edges together. Then I'll be able to sew the lower edge of the exterior to the back of the neckline, and hand-sew the lining lower edge to fully encase all the raw edges. I did something similar with the Moment vest, and it comes together pretty quickly. I think I should be able to have the vest completely done by this time next week without much trouble. Hopefully.
Alongside working on my vest, I've been continuing to hand-sew the pleated panels onto Jack's jacket. In the tags on my last sewing update, I mentioned that I had about 5" still to go on the first panel. I was in the really annoying section in the middle of the sleeve where I really had to put my whole arm into the sleeve just to pass the needle through, and it was slow-going. I had to make myself push through that annoying section, rather than continue to put it off.
Eventually I worked my way all the way down to the cuff, cut off the excess from the pleated panel, turn under the edges of the lowest pleat, and hand-sew that into place. I am so pleased with how it turned out, but to keep Jack from making jokes about only having one sleeve done (and so that I wouldn't find myself with time to hand-sew and nothing ready to sew), I quickly pushed on to getting the second pleated strip started. I took a bunch of measurements from the finished sleeve and transferred them to the second sleeve, pinned the pleated panel into place, and had Jack try it on just to double-check the placement.
I was able to tear through the upper section of that second panel, between my increased speed and confidence in my method of hand-sewing this, the easy access through the neck side of the jacket, and a couple of long-ass work meetings where I was basically just there to listen in and take notes every now and then. As of posting this, I'm about halfway through with the second panel, and starting to get into that annoying section of the sleeve again.
The effect of the pleated panels on both sleeves is just so cool that I will definitely be getting photos of the jacket on Jack at some point, either on our Disneyland day or during a try-on before that. He's somewhat allergic to photos, but damn it I'm proud of how this looks, and I want to show it off. I've been calling it a 'sewist flex' from the very beginning -- look at what I can do, look at how cool and Star Wars-y it is -- and I'm really looking forward to sending this beauty out into the world in all its epicness.
And I think Jack feels similarly, based on how he's been talking about wearing this jacket all the time once it's done. His whole outfit together (this jacket, cream colored henley shirt with the buttons and bottonholes removed, mustard-y tan moto jeans, hiking boots) looks wonderfully casual Batuu Bound. The effect of the whole thing is Star Wars, but none of the individual pieces feel weird or costume-y. He might not wear those pieces together for anything other than going to Batuu, but each piece paired with something else looks pretty normal. So if Jack is able to get a lot of wear out of this modified jacket, all the better. I know I'll get that burst of sewist pride every time I see him wear it, lol.
#my sewing#Batuu Bounding#Batuu vest#Jack's jacket project#2024 mood#long post#10 days to go and I'm using all my excitement to keep making progress on sewing#also I've started rewatching The Mandalorian if only as a way to take a break from all the Star Wars YouTube videos I've been watching lol#there are still a couple of other tiny details I would like to do if I get time for them. in particular:#finding a way to cover the laces of my Doc Martens and the buckle on my belt#adding a place or two for 'code cylinders' on both my outfit and Jack's (especially since we don't have any other greebles)#breaking out the needle-nose pliers to adjust the length of some earrings that look cool with my outfit but hang just a bit too low#and finally gluing down the wraps on my kyber crystal necklace so I can be confident that the crystal won't fall out at some point at DL#the necklace is really the only one that MUST be done. the rest are entirely nice-to-have but I'm hoping I'll have time#and on that note I should get back to sewing lol
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ranting about niche things in my own tags so i can come back to them at a later point and see if my opinions have changed (i was in a crowded area for longer than i wanted to today and need to get over my hater energy)
#the vball world anouncers in rio rn are pissing me off so bad.#like my girl emily usually doesnt annoy me but her points are being brought down by the absolute negativity of the other two...#like im not saying every anouncer gotta be like my man clayton cause im sure thats not everyones style but when hes not describing whats#happening the things hes adding are fun/mood lifting#like its such a chore to get through these anouncers negative ass commentary like every single play is a mistake#(unless it comes from their blorbos on the us team)#and instead of just telling us or framing it in an informative way they just have to use boring and overly negative tone.#its especially terrible since the 3 in antalya rn all have such better energy so like the contrast is brutal#hat off to clayton hes my fav but what i like about the 3 in antalya rn is that 1. they have a bit of whimsy in their soul 2. they sound#like theyre having a good time and enjoy the game 3. they will say a play that didnt go to plan without being an absolute fucking downer#about it.#like i fr have to mute games sometimes ...#idk clayton is blorbo from my anouncement panel like when he gets so excited i as a listener get so excited when hes scereaming cause the#rally is so intense im screaming when he is in tears over carolanne kiss at 22 world champs im also in tears like come on#also will never forgive /that one/ for the way they speak about the asian teams/brasil cause dont be a commentator for international events#if youre gonna be weird about it.....#not to sound like i hate all these anouncers cause i dont. as i said the three in antalya are absolutely on it but it sucks that have the#tournament is lowkey ruined for me....#thats dramatic but its just not as fun#like when brasil would score and we'd still be getting a run down of jordan larsons biography... like shes a good player but lets give the#teams equal energy here#sigh
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grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning
#this is not a real issue i am plenty entertained rn and also am going to be going#to bed soon anyways. i just am rlly in pksp mood#im in a pkmn mood in general lol ive been reading reguri fics as previously stated#but also i got back into legends arceus earlier today which i havent played in TWO YEARS. which is crazy#and man i fucking loveee playing pkmn i rlly hope they make the next#mainline game not half baked. i didnt get scarlet and violet bcuz of that :(#i had a playthrough of it in the bg but. its not the same#it makes me sad that im not up to date like i dont know any of the new#pokemon i dont know anything about SV's region or characters or story#i want to though. maybe ill get around to actually sitting down and watching a playthrough at some point#i also want to get caught up with pokespe in my reread so my first#experience w SV might be thru spe. which is weird to think about#thats never been the case for me with a pkmn game before#i mean. in terms of just being familiar w the game not playing it myself#i have not played every mainline pkmn game lol#my first one was pokemon pearl. which i never beat. but after that i#got alpha sapphire which i was CRAZYYYY obsessed with. i played that game to the bone til there was#literally nothing left to do other than grind to lvl 100 for the hell of it#pokemon moon is INCREDIBLY special to me for a number of reasons#mainly that it was my first pkmn game that i ANTICIPATED. i remember watching the trailers#over and over. every time they dropped new info i was eating it up. i remember when the starters final evos#were finally revealed i was so excited. and ofc the INSANITY that was the red and blue reveal. good times#but yes i similarly played the shit out of moon til there was nothing left to do. and it was the first one#where i was INCREDIBLY invested in the story. i cared and still care about the alola casrt#soooooo much they were literallyyy my friends. i drew them sooo much. and ofc lillie was one of my#most specialest little blorbos ever. i was in LOVE with her as a kid. it was serious#anyways and then i played pokemon sword which i also love dearly. i beat the main game but i#actually still havent finished the dlc.... but i also care very deeply about the galar cast and drew them a lot as well#and thats all not mentioning from my years long obsession with pokespe lol. but anyways yes#serena.txt
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Me: Happy Friday! Happy Birthday! Another one of your managers has tried to blame their incompetence on me and this time I expect you to set an example of him š„°
The owners, nervously reaching for the sweets I bought them: ... A-again? Today??
Me: Again, today, just now in fact. Enjoy your strategy meeting! I'll send you my email report in a minute! š„°
#one of these days I'm going to absolutely fucking lose it#tell me again how I placed a $300 order while on vacation#god I hate these lying misogynitic racist fucking asshole managers#you are the last one my guy... the sole remaining blight upon my happiness#two have fallen and you are all that remains... the last antagonist... the big bad... the tenure asshole#corporate shenanigans#it's like they can sense when I'm ready for the next lil duel#they line up and I knock em down#it's like corporate fencing at this point#drafts#this was from Friday but I still v much am feeling this mood#cause ain't no way you're gonna blame me 4 different times in 4 different ways and STILL look me in the eye ctfu
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Why am I a fucking dumbass. Like genuinely
#okay waiting until almost one in the morning to go to bed was already a stupid decision when i know my body wakes me up routinely at 8#or before. and being on my phone until right before bed was also fucking dumb#especially as i was blasting videos directly into my frontal lobe#but then. even STUPIDER. i decided āoh iāll read a couple of chapters of my book before bedā#what am i reading? the outsider by stephen king. what is it? a fucking HORROR NOVEL#in my defence the first half was pretty much a straightforward mystery with just some slight weird shit#itās only when the detective (and everyone else really) starts to realise that something is Off that the supernatural shit starts to happen#i.e. two completely separate people āhallucinatingā the same creepy bastard#so tell me why i pick this book up thinking āoh what a great nightcapā. and the kicker is that just from the first paragraph of the chapter#i was at; i somehow KNEW some shit was going to go down. i was like āthis feels like the turning point. this man is about to have a very bad#timeā. SO WHY DID I KEEP READING#i probably wouldāve been fine during the day but at one in the morningā¦ā¦. i then had to turn my fucking mood lighting on#bc i was creeped out by the darkness. and iāve lost the remote for my mood lighting somehowā¦.. so it was sitting at blue light#and the brightest possible setting. fine. still fairly sleepable actually#it just didnāt do enough to assuage my fears so Then i had to read a romance novella#and when i say āread a romance novellaā i mean i read the whole romance novella. so that took me an hour#THEN at 2am there was a very loud downpour and THEN at 2:30 some bastard on a motorbike decided to tour the neighbourhood as loudly#as possible. and then my bladder was like āoh weāre awake? pee every hourā#to summarise; i feel like absolute shit now#iām hoping i will be able to take a nap this afternoon because this sucks#personal
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Had a bad day at work yesterday
#honestly first half was so good#I was in a really good mood we were all chatting#it was a manageable busy I was happy#and I was training a new person#theres this team lead and when regular chatting sheās really nice but when it comes to anything work related sheās horrible#one of my favorite coworkers quit because of her#idk sheās like extra ābossyā like we Have to constantly be doing something. not waste a second.#she acts like she knows better than me SHE EXPLAINS TO ME HOW TO DO SHIT LIKE I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO MY JOB AS IF I HAVENT BEEN HERE#TEN TIMES LONGER THAN HER#the day took a turn for the worse when she said āweāre gonna need ice.ā I was waiting at a register with new girl cause customers were#literally walking in and approaching and she raised her voice at us basically yelling at us to go get ice. like what#that triggered me and blahblahblah a few tiny annoyances later Iām in the back having a panic attack. and the manager catches me at first#told me off for not being in the front to help with the line but when she noticed I was crying she let me have a minute to calm down#then closing I had to do dishes. Iām always slow at them I warned everyone. but I was in a really bad mood at that point#I rushed them. I did a meh job I skipped steps I cut my finger I wasnāt being slow I was soaking wet I did them as fast as I possibly could#cause I was so done. we have two freezers in the back I have all the wet dishes on one and Iām dying them on the other. team lead comes to#the back says Iām the last one cleaning. we need to get overran from that freezer for the front. I ask if they can get it when Iām done#(literally like four things left to dry) she says no she has to clock out at midnight and basically started going off on me and my coworker#about how basically were doing a bad job cause weāre supposed to be Done by 11:30??? so weāre late and now itās affecting her and itās our#fault??#WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DONE BY 11:30 NONE OF THE MANAGERS EXPECT US TO BE DONE BY THEN YES WE ARE SCHEDULED TO THEN BUT ITS BASICALLY#IMPOSSIBLE TO BE DONE BY THEN IVE BEEN HERE NEARLY A YEAR AND IVE GOTTEN OUT BEFORE MIDNIGHT MAYBE TWICE.#I DID THOSE DISHES AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY COULD#she is a grown ass adult talking to teens like this. we all also had school that day we were tired#and honestly we were so fucking fast that night. nearly done and not even midnight? damn. she clocked out and left before we finished#I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt cause she was nice when having a normal chat but no sheās a jackass#made me cry twice yesterday#Iām so close to messaging the old coworker who quit because of her about this cause sheās also older. she was like the mom of the theater#she loves us and if she heart team lead was making me cry she would come in and tell her tf off#Iām not good at confrontation. I just grabbed the shit and put it out front and paced around a lot. felt like shit.
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It is all painfully coming together
#this is not to be alarming im simply referring to the drawing ive been busting my ass on since tuesday#which i worked considerably hard on yesterday... went for 7 straight hours really. and had to tear myself away from it to finally eat#and unhappily showered and went to bed for the night#i was making great progress relatively smoothly all day but when i left it i was at the point of spotting something i had to correct#so i was in quite a mood when i left it and feeling a lot of anguish picking it back up today#but i really am starting to get it more and more down how i think i ought to be. and the adderall will still be active in me for hours#here's to hoping i finish the damned thing today. it's due monday but i REALLY don't wanna even be doing the finishing touches tomorrow.#if im not spraying this thing w fixative to lock the charcoal in place by tonight im gonna be really unhappy#(it's due monday)#tales from diana#also my setup w two chairs (one for me to sit in and one to hold up my drawing board) is REALLY uncomfortable#when im drawing from life it's not so much a problem bc i hold it in my lap but this time i have a photo reference#and it's kinda just really messy to hold it on my lap w subtractive drawing anyway. i always end up erasing the corners w my sleeve.#i keep being locked in a leaning-forward manspreading position so i can get closer to my drawing to see it#it's like im ABOUT to sit up. but holding that position for hours at a time.#i wish i had a stool and eisele#is that the right spelling? it's what my phone suggested#it rhymes weasel and has no starting consonant. that thing that word.
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Why do Christian families look at a full grown man with a fuckton of kids and go
"oh he abused and cheated on his wife whos the mother of those kids and was dying with cancer and then very shortly after she died moved his mistress into the home and erased all of the evidence of his past wife but we're excepting him and his mistress and happy for him because we want him to be "happy"and he's "family and family forgives and loves"
but then look at they're children who's like
"hey I haven't hurt anyone but Im queer"
and it's immediately "I can't believe you'd do this to us where is this coming from we don't except this this isn't what god or we want for you your not queer your confused we can't ever except this or be happy for you if you choose to go down that path you'll lose your family"
#huh funny how the quickest way to bring disowned isn't raping someone or cheating on your wife it's just saying hey i might like girls#evidence me (if i ever find out again after that shit)and two cousins and apartly an aunt who i never heard of it met and second cousin#funny how you can literally beat your wife or your siblings and people make excuses for you but thinking girls are cute is too much#Im in a bad mood everyday at this point i need to kill my emotion every time i tart feelin happy because it's just so i get let down harder#ah well bitching wont ever fix anything#everyone just forgets how aggressive he was#but it's ok Źā āæā Ź becauseāØāØāØ forgivenessāØāØāØāØ
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ID: A tweet by make up a guy @/makeupaguy that reads -
guy who insists that theyāre very evil and fucked up despite being very kind and caring. End ID.
#ra#funny#oh mood#sorry for tagging blorbo from my brain op#but my beloved mutual pointed out that this is my lads#harrison and wolf and ghostie. these guys are wanted by Interpol for terrorism and international assassinations#but bc theyāre convinced that they are The Worst theyāre also 100% down to do nice things for others to their own detriment#tho in ghosts case he reminds RJ/Casey heās evil and fucked up and theyāre like yeah so?? teach me to make pipe bombs old man.#and bc he adopted these two he just sighs and explains that pipe bombs are out of style and IEDs are more effective in rural terrain#harrison and wolf are just like. shaking sobbing crying covered in the blood of ppl they killed to protect each other/civilians#truly autism creatures sitting in a blood soaked room with big sad baby cow eyes kinda vibes
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hey mom maybe if you werent mean about me not talking i could actually speak again <3
#(it is very rare that it happens and i am not in any way entirely nonverbal/nonspeaking etc but. it does happen.)#some times (no matter what mood im in) i dont 'feel' like talking. i just dont. it would feel wrong. if even i COULD get myself to start.#its. whatever. often enough its not while im in a bad mood so ill still try and communicate with whatever gestures i can do.#its not like i am all closed off (not that its 'bad' when i am yadayada)#i know its unusual. i get that its annoying. but I!!! am not letting that get my mood down. i try.#what is not (in any fucking way) helpful or fun at that moment. is you commenting ājust speakā āits so hard like thisā.#things like that do not make me want to speak more <3#in fact they make me want to prove a point that i can be just as well off without a voice. get wrecked.#sillyposting#and genuinely there were a couple of times during dinner where i think i couldve said something! and wanted to!#but complaining about how hard this is FOR YOU. does not in fact want to make me give you that relief.#i dont have a bad household. my mom is fine. its just that these things (even if its one or two quick comments) happen every time.#and shit builds up.#=3=
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Genuinely tweaking LOL
#I especially hate seeing this one girls account cause it makes me so upset and gets me thinking to that stupid old blog of mine >:(#idek wth is wrong ( I mean I sort of do ( I def do ) itās just as usual itās something I couldāve stuffed down )#kms </3 everyoneās on my case today my dads been dragging me out of bed when Iām supposed to be bed rotting and not leaving my room till I#do ; my mum threw the worst fit on top of that and Iām just overall having a rough past two days cause people are a bit mean š§āāļø#+ bad realisations cause people never seem to give a damn :/ anyways#POINT OF THIS IS ;;; ILL BRB TO EVERYONE IF YOU GUYS SEE THIS LOL š#dora daily#and like she threw the fit when I for once opened up my Genshin TO PLAY LANTERN RITE AT LONG LAST š I had sm fun after the whole day was a#wreck and she had to open her mouth and start screaming sure I yap a lot but sheās so insufferable.#then it completely ruined the mood and I stopped playing ; just when I was so happy to see zhongli again :/ and now my head hurts#ANYWAYS GONNA SCOUR THE INTERNET FOR ALHAITHAM he may be my mistress ( dahlia is my real loml ) BUT WHATEVER š#not even only the past two days itās been like for yrs now lmao but yeaaaaah
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