#she is a grown ass adult talking to teens like this. we all also had school that day we were tired

[multifandumbmeg]

Ok. Came across my first pro Five and Lila post so FiveLila shippers let's talk. If you ship Five and Lila, that's totally fine! Both CHARACTERS are legal adults.

What they did on the show was disgusting.

And yes, it was also poor writing. You should be angry too. Let's discuss.

Aidan Gallagher is BARELY an adult. He was, what, at most 19 during filming? Ritu Arya is 35. She is a grown woman. They met filming season 2. Late 2019. Aidan Gallagher was freshly 16 years old. She has watched him grow up from his early teens to now, bareeeely a legal adult. For that reason, they CLEARLY do not have any physical/sexual/romantic chemistry, because Ritu Arya isn't a groomer creep. She looks visibly disgusted all while acting her ass off. She plays the lines well but the kissing was so unbelievably uncomfortable to watch and I KNOW it was because SHE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE DOING IT. She remembers this BOY as like a five foot two kid in the prep school uniform, right? It's gross for the same reason dating your teacher even after you've graduated is very gross and makes everyone give you the side-eye. Both Ritu and David (Lila and Diego) have made it clear they were very against this choice. It is obvious this was entirely pushed by Steve Blackman.

Now before you get pissy and scroll away, before I explain why it is in this case bad writing, let me also remind you:

It is fine to like this ship conceptually. It is fine to write fanfiction. There is nothing wrong with that. I totally get shipping their characters based on their personalities and life experiences. BUT

What they did with this season with the canon was simply an awful mess. Morally, it was just plain wrong. The age gap alone made it inappropriate. But it was also bad. Writing. As many have pointed out, it was horrifically out of character for Five. Lila's character was written wildly inconsistently this season. Neither of them would have done that to Diego. Five would simply never have made a move. No matter how badly he wanted to, I don't believe he would have even if she made the move. Not for decades. At least. Add to this the entire experience was completely unneccessary and made no sense to begin with- Lila's suggestion that they go back and save original Ben would mean she never met the Brellies and thus never met Diego, still believed her evil mother, and her children didn't exist. Lila os brash, but generally not stupid, but even if she overlooked that fact are you telling me Five, Mr. Know-it-all who LIVES to be the smartest person in the room and always has, wouldn't have even said something then?? Before they left?! NO. He would NEVER have agreed to go on that mission before even considering the consequences. It was essentially an entire episode of character assasination for both of them. If you like either Lila OR Five at all, you should HATE this arc. Five not considering fallout, falling for his brother's wife despite most of the fandom believing he was aroace the whole time, choosing to betray his brother by physically having an affair with said wife, giving up on solving the apocalypse or finding his family again (his whole mission for the entire series, his entire character), finding a way out and then HIDING IT FOR HALF A YEAR FOR SELFISH REASONS?!?! Five... Hargreeves?? Are we talking about the same person??? Inconsistency is poor writing, plain and simple. Lila, for her part, was traumatized by her mother and spent all of season three grappling with her pregnancy. She had the opportunity, and made discussions with Diego about abortion. She ultimately CHOSE to have a child and ASKED to have a family WITH him. So to have her and Diego both spend this season only saying negative things about their family and act like they regret having the kids they VERY THOUGHTFULLY CHOSE TO HAVE is just plain shitty. They could have done a thoughtful plotline about how hard parenting is when you're breaking generational cycles, but instead they absolutely abandoned it and just had them cause more. Lila runs off to do something that logically will erase her children immediately and then when she finds out Five figured out the way back she mentions Diego and her kids and I found myself yelling at the screen-

"Oh, you care about your kids now?? Since when?!" Diego and Lila literally dump their kids off with a relative in the start of episode 2 and only even mention them again to complain after that. Never once do either of them say one nice thing about their children. Never do they say they love their children. We don't see any shots in the montage of Five and Lila of Lila being UNDERSTANDABLY DEVASTATED and being comforted by Five. It's not only completely inconsistent, it's not just that it makes all the parties involved look shittier for it, it's that they didn't even do it well.

What I'm saying is-

It shouldn't have happened in the final shortened season of this tv show. There was no way they could make that happen and be in any way a fulfilling ending for any of those characters, and for that reason EVERYONE should be pissed about it.

You could write a fic where Diego and Lila's marriage slowly breaks down (or hell maybe they never even got married) but it happens amicably and they don't fucking hate their children in the process and Five doesn't have an affair with Lila, but is there in the aftermath instead. You can write thoughtful, well-executed 200,000 fics drawing out the family drama of this slow burn and Diego and Five coming to terms. Or you could write a trashy smut fic where they all cheat on each other and are assholes and nothing makes sense, basically just like the show did. That's great! Both are totally fine and make absolute sense and are gratifying under the right circumstances to the right audience. Because that's fanfiction, and you've got time.

This was the end of a show we all fucking loved. This was a horrible ending that left everyone dead and unhappy at the moment of their death. A show that was supposed to be about overcoming familial dysfunction, not drowning in it.

So yes, we're angry about Five and Lila. Not because your ship is bad or wrong. Because it should not have happened under these circumstances.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

--

Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

--

The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

--

Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

--

Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

--

All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.

[hellfiremunsonn]

Stuck With Me. Eddie Munson x Reader.

AN: At the end of each chapter will be a picture of ‘your’ Journal. Photos, and writing of a little bit from each chapter. 

(THIS IS A REUPLOAD ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE RE UPLOADED ONE BY ONE)

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT.

WARNINGS: Mentions of drinking (they're at a bar) Eddie is sweaty

WORDCOUNT: 5k

CHAPTER 3: THE GANGS ALL HERE

It took about fifteen minutes for the house to become a loud mess of young teens and young adults. Passing between the open door to the backyard, people dipping their feet in the pool, some hovering in the kitchen, and of course Steve, watching Robin with his hands on his hips as she manned the grill. He still didn't trust her enough to cook by herself, and you could only reassure him so many times, but still he refuses to fully believe you. 

The gang included, Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, Lucas Sinclair, who was dating Max. Mike Wheeler and his sister Nancy Wheeler. Will Byers and his brother Johnathan Byers, who was dating Nancy. But Nancy was also Steves ex but they somehow get along really well?. Jane Hopper, who was will and Jonathans step sister, and she was dating Mike. 

You sat on the edge of the pool next to Max watching Dustin and Mike battle it out with pool noodles. 

"It's crazy to think all of you have grown up together" You comment. 

Max turned to you, a small smile on her lips as she looked at you over the top of her red sunglasses. "Everyone always says that" She laughed. "They're the siblings I never had, and although they are all a huge pain in my ass I'm glad I became friends with them, trauma and all"

"Were you at the mall too? With the fire and all that?" you asked quietly.

"Uh yeah, most of us were actually" She seemed like she wanted to say more but closed her mouth. Forcing a tight lipped smile while she looked at me. 

"That must have been scary, I can only imagine... But you don't have to talk about it, I get it, I'm sorry for prying" Instantly panicking that you might have crossed a line with the small red head but she laughed instead. 

"No don't worry about it, people always ask about it, it's kind of an unbelievable story" 

you nodded, turning your attention back to everyone around the backyard. Mike and Jane were sat close together on one of the lounge chairs, deep in conversations while their hands were intertwined. 

"Hey can I ask you a question?" You said turning back to Max. 

"Yeah of course"

"Who's the guy in the band? The show tomorrow?" your brows furrow, squinting through the sun. 

"Eddie?"

You shrug. "Robin hasn't told me his name, keeps referring to him as 'an old friend' for some reason"

Max snorted. "Eddie Munson, he's the dungeon master for the DnD club all the guys were in at school. Or at least he was before he graduated, that's how we all know him, cause of those nerds" She said gesturing to the boys in the pool. 

"Eddie Munson" You repeated. His named felt smooth on your tongue, a name you get used to saying... It replayed in your mind over and over again like a spell. 

The rest of the night was actually quite peaceful. You all sat around the little campfire and exchanged stories, some good, some cringe, relating to old high school moments, and newer ones from the younger kids. They all seemed so mature for their age. All of them seeming to know more than me, and maybe they had been through more than they let on. But they were all so sweet nonetheless. It was obvious how much they loved and cared for each other.

After the sun had long gone down, we all cramped into the basement to watch a movie, and after almost an hour of back and forth yelling on which movie was better and why you ended up falling asleep about ten minutes into the movie. When you woke up the movie had ended and static played on the tv, lighting up the crowded couch where they all were fast asleep and all tucked around each other. You snuck away to grab your camera and snapped a picture of them, it was too cute for you not to. 

"You're such a creep" Robin whispered to you. Waking up from her spot on the other couch, stretching her arms over her head. 

"They look cute, sue me" you said without looking at her. "I'm going to head up to bed" you said, attempting to speak through your yawn. 

Heading for the stairs you turned back to robin before leaving "Robin?" You said quietly. 

"mhmm?"

"I really like your friends. I can see why you keep them around, I've never seen you so happy"

She blushed, the pink still prominent  enough in the white glow of the tv. "Thanks... They really like you as well, they can't believe I found another cool friend honestly" She looked at them with fondness in her eyes. 

"Goodnight Robby"

You happily tucked yourself into your bed for the week, sinking into the lavish pillows surrounding you. 

You woke up the next morning around nine thirty, stretching out your arms and legs. After a few extra minutes of staring at the ceiling you finally got up and creeped into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and peaking into Robins room to see if she was awake yet. She wasn't.

You grabbed a pair of fuzzy socks and tugged them on before quietly making your way downstairs.

Feeling your shoulders relax when you realized you were probably the only one awake right now.  You take your time snooping around the kitchen until you eventually found everything you needed to make coffee. You laughed to yourself knowing Robin would curse you for using instant coffee instead of 'the real stuff' considering you worked at a coffee shop. But something about instant coffee just hit perfectly in the morning. 

Holding your mug of coffee to your chest you walked over to the large sliding doors to the backyard. Admiring the sun slowly filtering through the trees, bearing down a comfortable warmth before the heat of the afternoon was sure to hit. 

You don't know when, or how long Steve had been in the kitchen but when he placed his own mug down on the counter; the ceramic noise of the cup meeting marble startled you and you flinched slightly, your coffee swirling in your mug threatening to spill more than the few splashes that hit your shirt. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" Steve chuckled, his voice low and still groggy. from sleep. Hair a mess of a mop on the top of his head, yet it had somehow gained volume. "You're up early" He said while beginning to fix himself a cup of coffee. 

"This is actually pretty late for me, I'm used to getting up so early for work" You pout. "This is the first time I've had more than two days off in a row"

"Really?" Steve said walking over to stand next to you. "How come you work so much?"

"I'm too nice to say no" you sigh, looking down into your coffee cup. 

Taking a sip of his own, he nodded with a silent agreement. "That's like me and those little shits asleep downstairs. The amount of times I've considered moving back here just for them"

"You really are quite the babysitter aren't you? Robin makes jokes about it all the time, but it's different seeing you actually with them" you joke, bumping your shoulder into his.

Quiet footsteps from the basement stairs were heard behind you, both you and Steve turning to see who was creeping up the steps. It was Max with her two braids a little messy, a few strands coming untucked. "Oh thank god someone else is awake" She breathed while walking into the kitchen. 

"I tried to stay down there but it's so boring when none of them are awake, and Dustins snoring was driving me crazy" Rolling her eyes she began searching through Steves cupboards, and drawers. The two of you continue to watch as she shifted around the kitchen, looking for whatever it was she was looking for. After a few minutes, she had laid out a bunch of bowls and other cooking utensils. 

With a huff she leaned with both hands agaisnt the counter and looked up at Steve. "Steve do you have stuff to make pancakes?"

"Obviously" Steve said running a hand through his hair. "Of course I have stuff for pancakes" he scoffed while joining her on the other side of the counter. 

As the smell of pancakes, syrup and bacon, filled the air, more and more of the gang slowly began to filter in and out of the kitchen. Grabbing a serving of pancakes and sitting around the kitchen and outside in the backyard to enjoy the morning warmth before it got too hot. You settled with three pancakes, adding sliced bananas on top and drowned them in syrup. "Max these are incredible" You say after swallowing a sticky mouthful of pancake and banana. 

"Hey she didn't do all of the work!" Steve yelled over the sound of the kitchen sink, elbows deep in soapy water. 

After a day of laying in the sun by the pool, and swimming until your arms hurt it was time to start getting ready for the show tonight. Most of the gang had gone home to get ready which left you alone sat on the floor surrounded by every item of clothing you had brought. You pouted at your choices, none of them seeming to satisfy you. With a groan you leaned back until you were laying on the floor. 

"Somehow I always find you on the floor" Robin said from the door. "What's your dilemma this time" She said coming to join you on the floor 

"I don't know what to wear" you grumbled, throwing an arm over your eyes. 

"Just like, wear something all black, it's a pretty metal band, and a dingy bar so you don't have to try so hard to fit in"

Leaning up onto my elbows you surveyed your options once more. "Do I look like I wear all black?" you say gesturing to the colourful and mismatched pile of clothing. 

Robin rolled her eyes. Leaning forward onto her knees she rummaged through the clothes, mumbling to herself as she went along. 

"Here" She said shoving a full outfit into your hands. "Go put it on" She poked at your sides until you were laughing and helped you up off the floor. Shoving you towards to bathroom to get dressed. 

It was the Metallica shirt that usually you wore exclusively for sleeping. A pair of black shorts, with rainbow striped socks and your converse. It was a simple outfit, and you were kind of annoyed you didn't consider it in the first place. "Perfect!" Robin said jumping up and down while clapping her hands. "You look so cute"

You blush, avoiding her gaze. "You said it was a metal band?"

"Yeah, super metal, very loud, I never know what they're singing half the time, but I'm there to support" She said shrugging, jumping a few times while buttoning up her jeans. 

Going with the theme of black, you did some messy black eyeliner, smudging it out around the edges to give it a more 'alternative' vibe, whatever that meant. but I smudged it out more. You added a lightly tinted lipgloss giving your lips a perfect cherry pink color. 

The hideout was about an hour away from the centre of Hawkins, the bar stationed at the very edge of the town in an almost deserted area with only a few other buildings around it. The neon sign outside of the door flickered, half of it burnt out but still trying  illuminated the large bald man who sat on a stool right next to the door, probably there to card minors, but by the looks of him he probably let most of them in. 

Once inside the bar was exactly what you would picture any old dingy bar to look like. Wonky wooden floors that were abused by the heavy footed men who spilled their drinks after having one too many, or knocking over the tall bar tables in some sort of petty fight they wouldn't remember in fifteen minutes. The lights low, so only the few yellow wall lights filled the room with a faint glow. A couple of red faux leather booths across the left side of the bar, closest to the bathrooms that you could only imagine smelled like that weird portapotty chemical smell. 

You scrunched your nose at the thought. Most of the gang ran over to grab seats in the booths while Robin lead you to the bar. 

"What can I get for you two ladies?" the bar tender asked. He was tall and thick with muscle. Covered in tattoos, and some of them definitely looked gang related, but you didn't let your eyes linger on them very long. 

"Could I get a vodka and coke?" Robin asked, her fingers tapping anxiously against the hardwood of the bar top. 

The bartender nodded and then looked at you. "Just a sprite would be great" I said smiling.  "Also thank you" 

His lips lifted ever so slightly into a small smile as he went about making our drinks. You smile to yourself, feeling accomplished from making the mean tough man smile.

"You're not drinking?" Robin asks with a raised brow, fingers still tapping away as she spoke. 

"I can feel a headache brewing, don't want to make it worse by drinking tonight" it wasn't a lie, you decently did have a headache brewing, tension from the nerves of finally meeting the mystery man named Eddie. If you added alcohol into the mix tonight you'd be in for a rude awakening tomorrow.

Robin hummed, barely paying attention to what you said, her eyes searching every crevice of the bar.

 "Anxious about Vickie?"

Her eyes were wide, and she was so jittery she looked like a chihuahua. "No! Why would I be? Of course I'm not anxious" she said quickly, but folded even quicker. 

"Well yes, a lot actually, she said she would be here, but what if she doesn't show?" She eagerly grabbed her drink the minute the bartender set them down. You give him another small smile before slapping down some cash for the drinks, and a couple into his tip jar.

 "You talked to her on the phone today right?" Robin nodded, sipping her drink. "And she said she was coming, and that she was really excited to see you right?" You asked, repeating her words from earlier. 

"Yeah she did"

"So then she'll be here Robin don't worry about it" you give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and she smiles, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"I'm sorry for freaking out about it so much"

"Don't apologize, that's what best friends are for, we sign up to listen to you freak out about the same thing a million times, s'just our job" you shrug.

She rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to say something witty probably but the uproar of the gang behind the two of you made her turn around. "Oh!" She yelled and quickly made her way over to the booths. Confused you follow and watched as she envelopes a tall man with long curly hair in a hug. You assume this was the 'Eddie', Max had told you about yesterday but you could only see the back of him. 

Shyly sliding next to Robin, who now held him at arms length, you were finally able to see him. 

My god was he beautiful. You don't know why Robin didn't tell you; You guess the whole being a lesbian thing it probably didn't even occur to her. His skin looked like porcelain, and his eyes were such chocolate brown you were sure they would make anyone who made eye contact with him melt. He was smiling while Robin babbled to him, words you couldn't even make out because you were so entranced by him. He had dimples, and deep lines that formed when he smiled around his eyes and mouth. His face so full of expression, giving you exactly the response you would want from whatever you told him. When his eyes flickered to yours it felt like time had stopped. He furrowed his brows, just slightly, clearly confused as to who you was, but there was something in his eyes you couldn't quite make out, but it made them sparkle. 

"Oh! Let me finally introduce you two" Robin said turning towards you. Snapping you out of your thoughts you shook your head a little, plastering a smile on my face and reaching your hand out towards him. 

"She's a she?" He said turning to robin. "I thought your roommate was a dude this entire time?" 

"No you dingus, I've talked about her before, and she is very much a she, not a dude. Not my fault you gendered a nickname" She said rolling her eyes and returning to the gang behind you. Everyone clearly already having said their hellos, leaving us to get to know each other a little.

"Sorry about that" you blush.

He smiled at you, bringing his hand forward engulfing yours with his and shook it lightly. He repeated your name, and it sounded like heaven coming from his lips. You correct him, and give him your nick name which you prefer to be called but he ignores it, glancing down at your shirt.

"That's my shirt?" He said letting go of your hand to tug at the hem of the fabric. 

"Huh?" you look down at his hand and then back up at him. 

"This is mine, I thought I lost it, but you of all people have it?" He said raising his eyebrow. 

"Oh Robin gave it to me, she didn't want to throw it out, so I took it" You say shyly, looking down at your feet. "I usually sleep in it, I don't listen to them so I feel bad if I wear it out"

"So you're wearing your pyjamas at a bar?" He teased. 

You bit the inside of your cheek and smiled up at him. "I didn't pick out the outfit alright? I'm a lot more colourful than this" You say waving a hand up and down your body. 

"I can tell" He said with a laugh. "Alright I gotta head to the stage, I hope you enjoy the show, even if you don't listen to stuff like this"

"I'm sure I will, break a leg up there" You say, giving him a small thumbs up. He crossed both his fingers on each hand in return. 

When he made it to the stage you grabbed robin; maybe a little too aggressively as she almost spilled her drink all over the floor. "Why didn't you tell me he looked like that?" you spat, trying not to get the attention of the rest of the group. 

"Huh?"

"Eddie!" you exclaim.

"What about Eddie?"

"Oh my god" You ran a hand over your face. "He looks like a fucking sex god Robin and you let me leave the house looking like this?"

"You look cute!" She argued. 

"Maybe! Not cute enough for him" You say throwing your hands up in the air.

"Wait do you like Eddie?" she asks excitedly

"Well I don't know him, so I can't say yes to that, but his fucking face apparently has a way of making me have feelings that's for sure"

Robin snorted. "Oh my god I can't believe you're crushing on Eddie" 

"Robin I swear to god, if you say anything to anyone I will spill so much lego on the floor of your room you will never be able to walk comfortably ever again"

"I never said I was going to say anything!" She said in defence. "But no, I won't say anything. He for sure thinks you're pretty though" she said into her glass. 

"How would you know that?" you snort

"Because he's staring at you" she said smiling.

A panicked quick glance to your right to see that he in fact, really was staring at you. He seemed lost in thought, his drummer talking to him passionately, his hands flying, all while Eddies eyes stayed locked on you. Blushing, you ended up being the first one to break eye contact, but Eddies eyes didn't stray from you for very long. 

About five minutes later Vickie finally showed up and ran full speed to Robin, hugging her so tightly while burying her head into Robins shoulder. They stood like that for a few minutes before finally breaking apart to give each other a cluster of kisses, laughing the whole time. 

You smiled while you watched them, knowing Robin had nothing to worry about. Vickie is hopelessly in love with that woman. 

More people filtered in and eventually people were standing shoulder to shoulder. Robin and Steve creating a protective amount of space around you, knowing know more about these types of crowds. Feeling very grateful to have them as friends who take such good care of you.

When Eddie emerged from the stage again he had removed his leather jacket. Now only a loose black tank top hung over his broad shoulders. His hair tugged half up into a bun to keep it out of his face. When he spoke into the mic I watched as his lips grazed the metal of it with each word. 

"How ya doing Hawkins?" His voice echoed through the bar. People cheering and clapping at the sound of his voice. 

"It's been a while, but I could never forget my favourite place" Another round of cheers. "Were gunna play a couple of our songs, but we wanna end it with the one that started it all, which is a cover of Metallicas Master of Puppets"

The gang excitedly screamed and clapped, encouraging him. 

"Alright, that being said let's get this show fucking started" He almost growled those last few words before he and the rest of his band started jamming on their instruments. Grabbing your camera out of your bag, you snapped a couple pictures of Eddie. For the memories... Obviously.

They were insane. You couldn't really understand the words, and you could feel your headache grow, but being able to watch each of them individually and how much passion they put into their performance it was worth it. 

Eddie looked like be belonged up there, like he was born to be on a stage, or at least the centre of attention. How could he not be with a face like that. His head bobbing along to the music as his fingers diligently worked up and down the neck of his guitar. His tongue jutting out over his top lip as he concentrated on the chords. His bangs were clinging to his forehead, sweat dripping down his face and onto his chest. The once loose fitting tank top now clung to his damp torso. 

When he finally opened his eyes again he looked right at you but it felt like he was looking through you. It felt like your heart had stopped and time had stood still for the second time tonight. You could see Robin look at you out of the corner of your eye but refused to give her the satisfaction of looking back at her.

When the show finally ended, the entire gang was so hyped up and excited. Apparently Eddie and his band had been traveling a bit around the U.S doing small shows, and people seemed to really enjoy them! 

We were all gathered around an old van at the side of the bar while the band came in and out, putting all their equipment in the back of the van. You scuffed the toe of your shoe off the ground while you waited with the rest of them. Robin and Vickie had been attached at the hip the minute Vickie entered the bar, so you drifted off to the side, afraid of bothering the rest of them. 

When Eddie came out and the gang got loud again, all of them exchanging hugs, and 'welcome homes'. You leaned against the side of the van watching them, Unable to hide the smile seeing them have so much love for their friend. A heart grunt from the door next to you made you turn, one of the band guys struggling to carry something. His hand was slipping and made the weight off so you jogged over quickly to grab the other end of whatever it was that he was carrying. It looked like it was an amp. 

"Thanks!" He smiled and huffed. 

"I couldn't just stand there and watch you struggle" You said while straining to keep your end of the amp up high enough to lift up into the van. He let you shift your end in first, clearly noticing your slight struggle. You dusted off your hands on your shorts once the amp was successfully placed into the van. 

"Thanks again" He said raising his hand up to you for a high five you smacked his hand, leaving the two of you with a stingy palm

"No problem"

"I'm Gareth by the way" he said introducing himself quickly before returning to the inside of the bar.

Going back to leaning against the van you crossed your arms over your chest, rubbing your arms and resting your hands on the tops of your shoulders, fighting off the small chill from the light breeze rolling by. Closing your eyes you leaned your forehead against the cool metal of the van, letting yourself relax into it slightly, the cold temperature soothing the dull ache behind your eyes.

"So how'd you like the show?"

Eddies voice startled your, your eyes snapping open with a small flinch. 

He laughed and gave you a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" He said holding up his hands in defence. 

"It's okay" you laughed. "But I liked it. It was cool seeing you up there, very wild" You said honestly.

"I'm not like that all the time" 

"What a rockstar?"

"Well yeah, I'm just a big nerd, town freak, all that good stuff" He said shrugging with a small smile. 

"Aren't we all?" You asked tilting your head to the side. "Probably why we all get along so well huh?" You nod towards the slowly dispersing group of friends. 

He laughed, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, leaning back onto the balls of his feet, with his shoulders tucked up high near his ears. The loud bang of the doors of the van closing made the both of us jump. 

"Good to go Ed" Gareth said giving him a thumbs up. 

"Thanks man" Eddie said with a salute. He turned back to you quickly. "Where you staying? Steves?"

"Uh yeah" 

"I'll drive you" He said pulling out his keys from his pocket. 

"Oh no that's okay I came with- Wait where did she go" You looked around for Robin, spinning in a full circle. "She left with Vickie didn't she"

"About ten minutes ago, when you were helping Gareth with the amp" 

"The sex better be worth it if she's abandoning me" You say with fake annoyance. 

"Your chariot awakes m'lady" He said while dipping into a bow. 

"Why thank you kind sir" You quip with a terrible fake British accent, accompanied by a clumsy curtsy. Eddie reached for your hand, grabbing it and leading you up to the passenger side of the van which you now realized was his. He opened the door and continued to hold your hand to help me up and into the seat. After closing your door he jogged around the front and quickly got into the drivers seat. 

You clipped in your seatbelt, setting your bag on the floor by your feet. "Is it okay if I cross my legs?" You asked looking towards him. 

"Yeah why wouldn't it be?" He said turning around, one hand placed on the back of your headrest as he reversed out of the parking spot. You could smell him like this, sweat, beer, and some sort of cologne you couldn't decipher. 

"Didn't know if you were one of those car people" You joke while tucking your legs up and crossing them.

"You mean like Steve?" He said glancing at you. 

"Exactly that" 

"This van is probably older than me, it reeks of weed and cigarettes, you could pretty much do anything in here, I don't mind"

"I'll keep that in mind for when I have to pee" You tease. "I'll just pee my pants"

He scrunched his nose. "Okay maybe no pissing on my seats"

"Too late, I make no promises" 

"You're funny. I like it" 

"Oh, uh, thank you" You blush looking down at your hands, suddenly finding the nail polish on them very interesting. 

"So, tell me about yourself"

You groan. "That's like the worst way to get to know someone!"

"How is that the worst way to get to know someone? It's such a simple question!" He argued. 

"Oh it absolutely isn't! It's like the worst question they ask you at job interviews, I never know what they want to hear!"

He laughed loudly and you couldn't help but laugh with him. His head tilting back slightly. "Okay well what do you want me to know about you?"

"Oh fuck that seems even harder... Let me think about that for a moment" You said, and he let you. You sat in silence for a few minutes while you racked your brain for anything you thought was maybe interesting enough about yourself to tell him. 

"I like taking pictures?" You say, catching a side glance at him.

"What do you like to take pictures of?" He asked without a beat, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel.

"Anything really, I journal them often"

"You journal them?"

"Yeah, I tape them into a notebook, with kind of like a diary entry about whatever I wanna write about, and then I'll say something about the pictures and then cover the page with stickers and doodles"

"Are you gunna put the pictures of me in there?"

Your heart squeezed. "Yeah I might" you admit "You gunna be jealous if I don't?"

"My heart would be absolutely crushed princess" He said while taking one hand off of the wheel to clutch at his heart.

Princess. 

A small giggled bubbled in your chest, and a snort escaped amongst the laugh you let out. 

"What a wonderful sound that is" he said with a dreamy sounding sigh.

"What is?"

"Your laugh" he said turning to glance at you. 

[goodluckclove]

tw for drugs and sex mentions

yo clove not writing related but do you think it's normal to have not tried recreational drugs by 15 and not particularly want to find them? I've seen people making fun of people for it, along with not having sex which is also concerning to me as a sex-repulsed aroace person (caedosexual and demialterous/aroflux). I'm really anxious about stuff like this so I'd love ur opinion if you're comfortable answering stuff like this, I trust you a lot and you seem like a smart and knowledgeable adult so if you say it's fine I'll probably stop worrying

Hey man if you want to get real let's get real. I won't get too descriptive, but I do agree some people may need the tw so I'll put this under a Read More. Generally my answer is that younger people have a warped view of what warrants maturity and adulthood and a lot of the stuff that they think represents being a Cool Grown Up is actually not meant to be that profoundly world-changing in my opinion. This is especially true for all the stuff that is designed to spike your dopamine, unless in cases where it's being used medicinally (and even then it's case-by-case on if it's really medicinal).

Let's get into it!

So first off let me say the three big things that make me kind of biased to talk about stuff like this.

I am an alloromantic, sex-repulsed asexual

I am an addict

I am a child of addicts

I'll tackle sex first just to get it out of the way, and because I think it'll be easier to answer. Teenagers are one of the most brutal species on the goddamned planet (second only to middle schoolers and that sludge in Chernobyl that kills you immediately if you look at it), and I know for a fact they'll find a way to make fun of you for anything. I didn't know I was asexual in high school. I was an out lesbian at the time - I actually came out on our school broadcast for a GSA ad that ended up playing at least twice a month all year. People were more...too into it, which is also bad.

Mean Teens might say some dumb shit. That sucks, but you'll live. There will be way more Mean Teens that have an opinion on your sex life than there will be Asshole Adults. Like way more. I am open about being an asexual marriage and the worst I get is like "what if you want kids" which - you know - you can shut that down quick.

What matters is what you think about yourself, and the cool truth is that if you go through your whole life never wanting to have sex your life will be very close to unchanged in the grand scheme of things. I'll probably never want to eat a whole olive, and Riley thinks that's crazy because they love olives. But we will both see the same amount of sunsets and cool birds, and we were both eat roughly the amount of yummy snacks and have the same amount of adventures.

I've had sex. Ladies. No, seriously though - it's fine. It's okay. I remember yearning for it for years (I was actually wanting intimacy oops), and when it finally happened I was like oh. that's it? okay. There was a point when my girlfriend at the time actually entered me and I was immediately confused because I had no idea what she was trying to do. I remember I furrowed my brow like I was trying to understand Improv Jazz.

I laughed. i did laugh. That is not great for two people having sex for the first time.

Anyways, I had a few sexual partners and just kind of assumed they were all bad at sex or I was doing something wrong for some reason. Then I met Riley and they were openly ace, and something just clicked in me. I'm still aesthetically and sensually attracted to them (I use sensually in terms that aren't sexual), but there's really no pressure there and we aren't worried about it. And it's awesome.

If someone makes you feel weird about not having sex or a romantic attraction to people then you should feel a little bad for them, because that seems like a thing that a person would only do if they had very little else going on in their lives. That's some bland-ass khaki shit.

Onto intoxicants! So before I moved to Portland I lived in San Jose, California, and shortly after weed was legalized my parents had me start smoking with them - I was 18 - and I ended up being heavily addicted for about three years. This is a divisive thing to say because I know there's some argument about whether or not weed can even be addictive. Let me just say right now, I'm not about to have that argument. I detoxed for about three weeks and I genuinely thought I was dying. Like, I said my "last words" to my mother when she came to check on me. It was rough.

I am not anti-weed. I know it can be an amazing tool for people with certain medical conditions. And if you don't have a history of addiction, it's probably fine to smoke a bowl or a joint every so often and just have that be the end of it. I mean, it's so easy to find now.

Weed is fun, though. That's kind of the reason why it developed it's own culture and persona. The same can be said with alcohol. People definitely have opinions on IPAs. But if someone is so invested in what is essentially little more than an economic industry, that they feel the need to judge you for - spending your money on other stuff? That's piss wizard shit.

Weed is fun, yes, but it is expensive. If someone says they have cheap weed it's probably shit and you need to smoke a lot, or they got it through means that aren't great. And going out to bars also gets costly quick. I still go sometimes, but I limit myself to one fun cocktail.

You can also still go to bars if you want - when you're older, I mean. They can be a good place to meet people and see shows. A lot of them have cool non-alcoholic options - I like when there's a kombucha on tap - or they even have mocktails that are still cool mixed drinks with no alcohol. But they all have Coke or whatever.

There's literally a bar by my house that I go to and I only order the French fries and a Coke. Nobody cares. Getting drunk can be fun if you're in the right situation, but I don't consider it worth the hangover. Getting high can also be fun in the right situation, but edibles taste like trash and if you smoke you're essentially a smoker and that's it's own stigma. What's the alternative - vaping?

Oh my god, vaping? Come on. I have friends that vape and you know how many of them only do it because they're addicted? All of them. Shit sucks. I don't judge them, but I can see them cringe every time they have to hit it.

Also don't let people talk to you about that Delta-8/9 shit. Yeah, it's stronger. Yeah, it's unregulated. But like - it's unregulated and we have no goddamned clue what it'll do in the long run.

Getting high is fun because you don't have to exist in the world for a while and that's great, but it ultimately doesn't solve anything. When I'd smoke a bunch of weed and sativa alone in my bedroom (Hey don't do that! Bad idea! Really bad! My parents knew I was doing this and they allowed it because they are bad people!), I'd giggle and fuck around and eat a lot of snacks, but the next morning all the shit I was trying to escape was still there. Only difference was that now I had to go out and drop another 60 bucks on an eighth to get me through the next two weeks.

A lot of people want to have sex and get drunk or high so they can think of something else other than their current situation for like fifteen minutes to six hours. if you don't want to do either of that, and you're not going absolutely insane, that seems pretty cool. I can cite all the studies that say that a lot of that kind of stuff can actually stunt your development if you get into it too early (Or at all, really), but you don't need me to do that. You know that's the case. I knew that and I still OD'd on weed twice before the age of 21.

You're good, man. It's not a culture when you do that this young, it's a coping skill. And if you found a different one that's going to be way better for you in the long run. You can still have fun and make friends, you can even still have a partner in life if you find that's something you want. Your life is might seem limited in a few ways - but it's actually far more open in many, many other ones.

I don't mind questions like these all, by the way. Thanks for trusting me!

[the-possum-writes]

[Fionna and Cake Spoilers]

Look fam, Adventure time is my daily bread and butter, after catching up with 4 eps I have some... uh "opinions" on certain characters that I need to get out of my chest-

FINNN MY BOY LOOK AT YOU ALL GROWN UP 😭🤧🥺💕

I am so happy to see him again, and as much as I loved his adult Obsidian design I also have a liking to this one- he's so meaty I wanna brrrr those pecs and bite his arms. But also I feel so sad for him like, he's obviously distracting his grief for Jake by going from one adventure to another and, baby boy are you okay?? Lay on my shoulder and lets confront your feelings together 🥺

UMMM HELLO?? 😳����

Ahhh Huntress wizard was always my favorite background character and seeing NOT ONLY HER F&C COUNTER PART but he likes plants!? Sign me the fuc up, I adore Hunter, I would hike through thorny bushes and get bitten by mosquitos voluntarily if it means hanging out with this hunk as he talks non stop about different types of weeds and flowers 🥰

WHOO IS THIS NEW HOTTIE?

Brah from the cool mask to the suit I am just sold so easily like, I vibe so much with his design and his role as our main antagonist. Like don't get me wrong I don't want him to replace Prismo and kill Fi's world but if he calls me up to go eat steak and drink tea I would answer in a heart beat. Gotta love a man who has his professional priorities in order. Also that bandaged look he had at the beginning was really cool too, with the multiple eyes and all.

Oh, dear precious Simon you can't catch a break can you? Let's wrap you up in a blanket so you can talk to me about you ex, we'll get ya through this buddy 🥺

DAMN BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?

I wasn't huge on Prismo as a character in AT but in F&C I can totally understand the need to create something original and for yourself rather than creating for the sake of others. I'd love to move in as a roomie and help him clean up a bit, I can't take him to AA meetings but I can bring them to him lol. Maybe creating sentient universes isn't a good idea but the Sims 4 is close enough.

GIRL, SHE IS JUST LIKE ME FR FR

I can relate so much to Fi's daily life omg, I started watching Adventure Time when I was in middle school so seeing her now in a similar setting as my early adult life is so wild and comforting to me. She has a special place in my heart, oh and she caked up like damn, in the og series she didn't strike me as a teen but I can definitely see her now as a grown ass woman. And in shorts! I love wearing shorts, they're so comfy. I wanna hang at a sleep over with her, watching dumb action or scary movies, eat ice cream as we talk about our break ups ;w;

That's about it, thank you to my Ted talk. I'll try to finish my requests as soon as I can to open my inbox again cause damn, I can't wait to see what you guys come up with!!! 11!

[vryivs]

brother yanqing you could have simply said when she started counting instead of deciding to emulate your father's flair for the dramatic

i know im too old because i keep stressing out about yunli stepping on broken glass or debris. i joke but damn. that really is my daughter

oh man im so annoyed at the expy claims. her ass is NOT lin zhaoyu. you dont even want her to be lin zhaoyu. so many reasons why. [brief detour to discuss expys in hsr]

i feel like a lot of the people making the claim are doing so because theyre more used to how expys look in genshin and just googled ma feima, saw he had a wife, and decided yunli must be her expy because they're vaguely similar looking

but every expy so far has shared a name (at least in part) with their hi3 counterpart (natasha = raven/natasha ciaora, seele = seele vollerei, bronya rand = bronya zaychik, cocolia rand = cocolia, himeko = murata himeko, acheron/raiden bosenmori mei = raiden mei, kafka = kafka/loner of prague, luocha = otto apocalypse/luocha/raksasha, marshal hua = fu hua, sushang = li sushang, yanqing = ma feima/yanqing)

in genshin most of the expys have different names, but hsr has been fairly consistent in keeping the names mostly the same with one exception (silver wolf, who potentially, like welt, also is just a hi3 character)

lin zhaoyu was NOT a nice lady

she's yanqing's groomer. she was already a grown adult when fu hua adopted him, and became obsessed with competing with su mei (a teenager) for his love. its heavily implied she coerced him into marriage

yunli doesnt even look that similar to her!!! they both have dark hair and amber eyes, but yunli's is blue, while zhaoyu's is black. lin zhaoyu is taller and like, explicitly aged (her vn sprite has wrinkles!) while yunli is shorter and younger than yanqing

(tbh, for that reason of age its also difficult to say 100% that yanqing and ma feima are expys. yanqing has more superficial similarities than yunli does, but my nonserious conspiracy is that he's actually the kid of this universe's feima

anyway detour over. this theory just really gets on my nerves, especially seeing it from people who ship yunqing

god this game is so stupid. every time there's meant to be a huge crowd and they have maybe a handful of npcs as set dressing. its so funny. this wardance is a FLOP

you would think this explains the lack of crowd but it just makes it funnier. jing yuan had five soldiers and a dream

this is so cute omg. yanqing <3

kinda mad this patch bulldozered all over yunli's personality. i miss when she was a rude little shit. where is my daughter and what have you done with her and WHY is she talking like a smaller melee yukong

march is their get-along-disciple i love these three

SHES SO SEXY HHGJDSGH

wow okay. rude

UGHHH its so annoying that theyve flip flopped on whether feixiao was a kid or an adult when she escaped the borisin. literally in the previous patch they depicted her as a grown ass adult. she would not be a child or a young girl when fighting under yueyu

CLEVER MAN!!!!! I LOVE HIM

MANIFESTING YANQING PATH SWITCH SOON??!??!?! omg. the jingliu parallels. how crazy it must be for jing yuan to accidentally rear someone so similar to his own master. i hope we get a destruction or nihility yanqing at some point. i wonder if they'd allow him to keep the same element or if he'd have to switch to a different one as well

i think its really interesting how jing yuan seems to have his impression of yanqing frozen at the heliobus incident without realising how much that fundamentally changed him (and how training march also impacted him). idk it feels very realistic for a parent to not notice how their child is growing until they already have.

meanwhile it seems like feixiao sees him for exactly who he is now

im really happy they let yanqing shine this patch. he finally got a textual win. maybe people can stop shitting on him now

"when i was just a child" [picture of someone at least in their mid-late teens]

a cunt-off

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6 (TAKE THE DEVILED EGGS) PART 7. FIN.

Alright, let's wrap this up so I can tackle the hulking beast that is the dance marathon episode. L&R are driving home from Boston. Lorelai is seething with anger because Sherry is pregnant and threatens to swerve into oncoming traffic and kill herself and Rory in a firey wreck. (It's clarified a moment later that she's quoting a movie and Rory thankfully understands the reference, but with how irrational Lorelai's been acting lately, she honestly coulda had me fooled).

Haha look they just did that thing where someone says the name of the episode in the episode L&R spend the remainder of the drive home shit talking about the other women at the shower, talking about how sloshed they were, and how Sherry knows a lot of stuff about things like how to navigate the city she lives in.

I Yahoo'd. There's no Garvey Avenue in Boston. The closest Garvey Avenue is in Buffalo, NY. Or there's a Marcus Garvey Avenue in New York.

Lorelai bemoans the fact that she didn't spend near enough time rifling through Sherry's personal belongings (and then complains that Rory went back and fixed the mess she made). Rory advises her to "let it go." (twice) Thank you Rory.

How dare a pregnant woman speak about the father of her child. (I can't believe I'm defending Sherry's right to discuss Crusty... but come on Lorelai).

I just hope your Dad somehow fell face first into a garbage truck and was pulverised into a fine Crusty pulp.

Girlypop here just took a swipe at an innocent unborn fetus. Fetus Gigi never asked to be concieved by Crusty and Sherry, leave her alone. Anyway I think we all know what happens next.

How'd you like it if someone vandalized something you worked so hard to afford? Oh that's right you've never had a job or a car and you also don't put out. So why was this Rory's idea? Why aren't we egging Dean's car? What did Jess do to her recently that she thinks he deserves this? Look, I'm just trying to pick apart her motivations here. I think it's one half "I'm salty he's hooking up with Shane" and one half "I'll suggest anything that would please my Mommy and make her stop quoting movie lines about murder-suicide while I'm her passenger." If this is about Shane, all she has to do is wait another week or so and Shane will be dead anyway. Lorelai's motivation is a lot more simple. She has the maturity level of an 12 year old boy and that's an insult to immature pre teen boys everywhere.

Lorelai declare's Rory idea immature and puts up some moderate resistance but goes along with it anyway. Do you think Jess ever figured out who did it? I mean, he's a smart cookie. He can figure out that only a few people hate him enough to target him. One being a grown ass adult woman and the other being teenage boy. And Jess knows that even Dean has better things to do.

At some point in the 9 months he dated Rory he must've asked "Hey remember when I walked outside to find my car covered in smelly eggs? There are only like 50 people living in this town, ever hear anything about that?" It's fine, it's fine. Lorelai's nephew in the 2020's after publishing a string of best selling novels and achieving elite status in the authoring world:

Throw them eggs, ladies. Karma won't come back to slap you at all.

The Rory Gilmore who actually had a small reserve of aggressiveness and potential destructiveness died all the way back in season 1. "There's no real reason to do what we're about to do, just make up a motivation" is peak Gilly Girls.

Someone egged his cawr. My poor munchkin.

Luke is the best.

*searches "Jess Mariano Soapy Carwash" on PornHub*

Flick some soap into their eyes for me will you? I hope it stings.

[harmonyckrs]

Day 21 of Twisted Pleasantview: The Worst Guy You Know is Gone

THE PREVIOUS DAY

NAME: JULIET CAPP

LIFE STAGE: TEEN

STATUS: ALIVE, FUNCTIONAL

SPECIAL NOTES: Not taking Tybalt's death very well. It feels as though his ghost possessed her...

---

Dear Diary,

After Rosaline and I went through the remainder of the videos, we came to a couple of conclusions:

Lazlo and the fairies are being controlled by a woman named Crystal, who seems to want revenge for some reason

Lazlo used to be friends with all three of the fairies before their memories were erased by Crystal, and there were a couple of moments where he tried to jog their memories but they all failed

There is a robot posing as a teenage girl named Meadow that Crystal and Lazlo built together who's responsible for some of the disappearances and deaths

People in Strangetown are being used to abduct some of the other members, and sometimes this includes other people from Strangetown because the programming is ass

The thing that's being used to control the people of Strangetown can be deactivated by figthing them

I'm not sure what we can do about the information, because I don't really want to take on grown adults and there's no way I can hurt Ripp. I guess Tank is there, but he's buff as hell and also still missing so I can't really do that and tbh I don't really want to either.

Juliet came by once we were done compiling and asked us what we were doing, but we decided to just lie and say we were watching music videos online. She seemed confused but then just walked off fuming about Mercutio and how she was happy he was gone. I hope she gets a therapist soon.

Also Don has gone missing, which has caused a lot of mixed reactions. Mortimer claimed that he got in a fight with Ripp, who successfully knocked him out and fled with his body. But why didn't Mortimer fucking do anything about it, though? Like that's your son-in-law. Yeah he's a piece of shit but still! At least pretend that you give a shit and make some effort to stop him, you know?

Also speaking of Ripp, I decided to invite him over before school so we could talk about it, and he seemed to have no memory of what happened. He claimed that he blacked out and woke up back in his house. I told him about what Rosaline and I discovered, making sure to refer to Lazlo as "Laz" to prevent the trigger from happening again, and he seemed really surprised about it. Apparently this was fresh news to him, but he mentioned that he could probably figure out a way to remove it. I'm not sure what he's referring to but I'll trust his judgement

Obviously I didn't want to hurt him, so I paid Angela to fight him instead:

Once Angela successfully beat him in a fight (it only took one try because again Ripp is not an athletic person and not really much of a fighter either), he mentioned that his mind felt unusually clear. I recited Lazlo's name to him, and nothing happened. I guess that means he's free? I'm not entirely sure how this works. Also Angela kept apologizing about the fight and we kept having to reassure her that it was okay

Also Ripp mentioned that Ophelia was moving in to "help him take care of Buck" but he said that she was secretly trying to escape from her family and also wanted to be closer to Cyd for some reason. When I asked why, Ripp mentioned that Cyd had discovered a way to resurrect another person as a result of Nina telling Ms. Broke about Vidcund resurrecting her, which had resulted in her telling Cyd. Since there were three fairies and only two had seemingly granted a wish so far, Ophelia had claimed that there's still a chance for one more wish.

I don't think this is how fairy wishes work but if it makes her feel better about her dead husband then whatever. Event hough it seems unlikely it would be pretty cool to get the chance to meet him. From what I heard about him from Ripp and Tank, he seemed cool as hell.

Maybe I'll finally get the chance to talk to Ophelia. Hopefully she's not as morally questionable as the rest of her family.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[thatguywiththefaceog]

Kinktober 2023 Day 27-Double Penetration in Two Holes

Amphibia-Anne/Sasha/Marcy

Once reunited at Wartwood, Sasha and Marcy fuck Anne silly.

written for @kinktober2023

requested by anon

Warning the following story contains fictional minors in sexual situations. If this makes you uncomfortable or are under 18 please do not read. This story is rated E for explicit and is for adults only. This story is a complete work of fiction.

"And this is we're sleeping tonight," Anne told Sasha. Anne, along with Marcy, were showing Sasha the Planter basement. The three thirteen-year-olds were having a sleepover there like back on Earth. Of course Marcy’s been bunking with Anne since she traveled here from Newtopia but Sasha made it a proper sleepover.

"So this is where you've been staying, Anne. I would call it quaint but I've been 'camping' in the woods, so I'm not at liberty to snark here."

Marcy grabbed Sasha's shoulders. "It's alright Sash, you're among friends here."

"That’s right, a classic sleepover, Earth style," Anne said.

So the three teens set up sleeping bags and started talking. Stuff like what were the last movies they say, shit talking classmates they haven't seen in forever. It wasn’t long until talk turned to dirtier things.

"I bet you two have been fucking the whole time I've been gone, huh?"

"No," the others lied. Anne had been sucking off Marcy at least once a day since reuniting back in Newtopia.

Sasha saw right through them. "Hum, I'm jealous. I haven't gotten any since Anne and I took that shower back in Toad Tower." She pulled down her pajama bottoms, revealing her hard cock. "Look how pent up I am. Are you guys gonna fix it?"

Anne and Marcy looked at each other and shrugged. "It'd be rude not to," Marcy said. They crawled down there and slobbered all over her dick. Marcy had a good idea where it was going tonight and she wanted to be sure it was lubed up enough.

"Mar-Mar looks a little flustered, Anne. Why don't we help her out." Sasha and Anne tugged off Marcy's pants. Her hard dick bounced around. While Sasha's had impressive length, especially for a 13-year-old on HRT, Marcy had more girth despite being a few inches smaller than hers. Marcy was also uncircumcised. Anne jacked them both off while she took turns making out with them.

Wanting to further help Anne, Marcy went down behind her. First, she took off Anne's pants. Then she grabbed Anne’s perky butt and pulled the cheeks apart. Anne yelped as she felt Marcy's wet tongue lap up her butthole.

It had been months since any of the girls had a chance to groom themselves. While the amphibians did have hair, it didn't have the same body hair as the humans did, so Amphibia wasn't equipped to deal with self grooming. Sasha had grown a thick dirty blonde bush. Anne brown matched her head. It was much bigger than Sasha's, traveling down Anne’s taunt and around her anus. Marcy was the least bushy but her dick still had thick black hair.

Once Anne’s butthole was slobbered all over Sasha nodded Marcy away. "Marcy get on the floor, let Anne ride you. Boonchuy, your ass is mine."

As Marcy got on the ground, she and Anne made out. Anne could taste her own sweaty ass on Marcy's tongue. She grinded her slit against Marcy's throbbing cock. Anne grabbed Marcy’s cock and guided it inside her. Both girls gasped as Anne lowered herself down on Marcy. Anne at her sex filling up and Marcy at the warmth enveloping her cock. Sasha watched Anne’s barely teen ass, stroking herself. The blonde made her way over to Anne and pressed her cock against Anne’s backdoor. Fortunately, Marcy did her job and her spit helped Sasha slide right in.

“Ahhh, Anne I missed your ass so much,” Sasha said.

Ah, ah, and I missed your dick. Yours too Mar-Mar.”

“Anne, you feel so good,” Marcy said.

“Shit, you, gaaaahhh, guys feel so good together. Fuck.”

Marcy and Sasha continued thrust into Anne, holding on to her sweaty, naked body. “Hey, Sasha, I think I can, ghn, feel you.”

“You too, mmm, bitch.”

“Guys, guys I think I’m-” Anne came, her flower spasming and spreading her slick. Marcy and Sasha followed suit. The two flooding Anne with their seed. They pulled out, allowing the cum to dribble out of her. As Anne laid on the ground, trying to catch her breath, the others pissed in her face. As she let the warm pee wash over her, Anne thought about how much she missed this.

[reallivemannequin]

I have not done a rewatch from season 1 in years.

They were all so cute and young back then!

Stefan is creepy the second he introduces himself to Elena 😂. Immediate ick

Caroline could have also been way more interesting in later seasons. The girl was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship!!!! She was turned. She was as a child. Instead we got what we got and all the meta (do we still use that term idk) does not erase the nonsense. In response to feeling rejected by Stefan for Elena, Bonnie tells her it’s not a competition. Caroline’s response is given in the most terrifying tone, “yeah it is”. She needs to be studied 😭

I feel similarly about Tyler. What a waste of an interesting character. They gave him a redemption for what?

The budget for the music in season 1…the Fray?! Shocked. Florence + the machine…flabbergasted

The amount of sex on teen shows is kind of wild and makes it’s so much harder to watch as an adult.

I hate Damon this rewatch too lmao. As a former Bamon shipper we had strength and dedication fr. We loved the potential bc omg he was terrible.

I cannot stand the amount of layers on these kids. Is it that cold when they’re wearing bikinis at a car wash?!?

The show did so much better at showing not telling in season 1. Elena is loyal bc she wants Damon to know that Caroline is her friend and she’s won’t hook up with him. She’s fiesty and fierce when she slaps him. We get that’s part of who she is. In later seasons it’s just telling us shit that doesn’t and hasn’t applied.

Suspense is where this series thrived (even when there was no pay off to it). Very fun. I’m still surprised by so many things. There’s so much I forgot.

Did not remember that the humanity thing started this early. It’s so obnoxious and didn’t have to be. Seems like your humanity had yall sleeping with the same girl. Idk how much weight that is supposed to hold, Brother.

Everybody failed Vicky. Period. Like why are Tyler and Jeremy arguing about sleeping with her in front of Matt. Sick. We also just forgot about Tyler forcing himself on her…

Class differences in this show were very pronounced in the beginning. All the founder’s are delulu.

Can you imagine a retelling through Matt? A bigger horror story

Jeremy was sassy af. I love the dramatics. He is me. I am him. Matt was supposed to be the everyman and Jeremy is speaking for anybody with sense lmaoo. Whenever he talks to the Salvatore’s I’m like

Get that b*tch!!!!

Hate the fake concern of any of the Founders. Idk a bunch of white folks in the south holding secret meetings screams hate group tbh

It’s extremely misogynistic to romanticize grown men fighting over a literal child. The way they even talk about Katherine in the season is yucky. This show honestly should’ve been on showtime and aged up Elena to near the end of college.

“You’re the woman that I love”. Boy that’s a child!!!!! I HATE Stefan this rewatch if I didn’t say it already.

These kids should’ve kept their ass in class but it also shows how naive and frankly dumb you are as a teenager. Even if you think you’re logical.

THE SALVATORES ARE THE VILLAINS!!! They ruined these kids lives.

Matt and Vicky got a deadbeat and a deadbeat predator, Caroline got emotionally abusive parents, Bonnie got deadbeats but one is successful, Tyler���s parents are emotionally and physically abusive, the Gilberts died but isobel and John were terrible, and they all lose their parental figures all as literal children…and this is a show about family… this is a show about consent, codependency, addiction, and grief. I can’t even say it’s truly about found family bc they treat each other like shit

Elena and Stefan’s relationship is sooo toxic. How many teenage girls were brainwashed by this show? Bc he is violent and it is wild it was marketed towards teens. They’re literally the couple where the girl is breaking up a fight and holding his face because she’s the only one who can calm him down but x 100000%

Somebody turn on the lights!!! Why is it so dark?!? It seems worse now

There’s no way that a man that killed your brother should ever be a viable love interest. They dragged that triangle to hell when 2 of the members were literal demons

I have not talked about Bonnie but she will forever be my girl and she deserved better. I am still so interested in the witch mythology that the show never cared about. The way that they did the Black folks on this show is yucky

How did I forget that Harper was a character…yikes

[zalrb]

OTH REWATCH REVIEW 3X02

A couple of anons have asked about my reviews so I did one :)

1. I don’t think you guys realize how 00s this whole look is

2. They’re really playing up this whole fire thing. That’s OTH, man, subtlety like a fucking brick.

3. I like that Anna is on Peyton’s side of the wall, that could’ve been interesting to explore.

4.

 That also would’ve been interesting.

5. “Are we friends?” “Tell you what, I’ll play you for it. Game to 11.” Jesus christ.

6. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

7. Yo, Haley comes back to town SO indignant and I’m just like, what did you EXPECT?

8. “What the heck?” LOL really? Haley can’t say ‘hell’?

9. Peyton exhausts me.

10. I am forwarding through this Peyton/Ellie scene, I can’t do it.

11.

Like, I’m tired.

12. I was also tired when it was Elena’s storyline

Do boys ever get this storyline?

13. This is a really long scene to look at Hilarie struggling to cry

14. That looks like a pretty uncomfortable couch, Brooke.

15. omg their chemistry totally disappeared.

16. “Oh, by the way, I think I found a pair of your black gloves, leather right?” This dialogue is killing me.

17. This is such a long episode. Jesus.

18. Ugh, Keith and Karen, I just never got into them.

19. The pacing is SO slow. It’s like season 1.

20. “You’ve changed.” I mean, not really, he just isn’t talking to you, Haley. You kissed a guy, went on a tour, didn’t correct Chris when he said you two were dating on live TV, said that you thought they made a mistake when he drove across the country to see you, didn’t visit him in the hospital when he crashed a car, and called him twice throughout the entire ordeal. He doesn’t have much to say to you.

21. Shiftiest fucking drug dealer.

22. “Oh, look, it’s Tim, I had a dream you died.” The delivery.

23. Brooke dragging Peyton to the party to be a DJ is like OK respect your friend’s headspace but Peyton purposefully putting on depressing music because everyone has to suffer for her bad mood is also super petty.

24. Dan is a terrible detective.

25. LONGING LUCAS

26. Hilarie and Chad don’t even really have chemistry as friends, they’re just kind of around each other.

27. Lmao Brooke, Peyton’s biological mother just showed up out of the blue, she’s going through some shit. It’s annoying but you can’t be surprised that shes in a weird headspace right now and you can’t force her to be out of it.

28.

He’s just not talking to her! Did we forget that he got into a car crash over her like 2 seconds ago? Lmao.

29. AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET??????????????

30. AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGINNNNNNNNNNNN. lol the 00s.

31. Nathan showing up, not even talking to Haley but burning Tim’s guitar is lol. idk maybe I’m just petty but I respect this Nathan.

32. The height difference tho

33. WHEN ALL YOU GOTTA KEEP IS STROOOOOOOOONG MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG

34. I’M THE GUY FOR YOU BROOKE DAVIS.

FOR. FUCKING. LEYTON?

35. It would’ve also been cool if Brooke and Nathan developed a kind of friendship this year while Haley and Lucas were trying to win their affections

36. “It used to be my cocaine vial.” You did coke once, Peyton, relax. I feel like Dina in Superstore

37. Oh yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just a grown ass adult walking into a teen party. Fucking Dan.

38. DAN SAW LUCAS’ FACE IN THE FIRE. GUYS, OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL. Lmao, I don’t think I cared for that storyline even when watching it live.

[habitneedstod1e]

To my grandparents who so desperately want to be our parents

Aug 9

I fucking hate you, Tim. I said that once as a pissed off little kid and regretted it now I will say it again, but with no remorse, as you dangle the threat of homelessness over our heads, knowing what we've fucking been through the past few years is fucking diabolical. You treat us as if we are still little girls not wanting to face reality and see we have grown but you expect us to be adults and do adult things like jobs you have only had three different jobs and you have only had one it is different now and its more difficult to get a job but no "teens do not want to work." We do its that your generation put this place into the fucking ground and thats somehow our fault. You get mad when we express ourselves we haven't decorated our room since the fifth grade. He can't even practice his sabbaths, and I can't dress how I want or look how I want without you both giving the most meanest looks like I have five heads. You don't even care that he needs to have a cane or wheelchair when he truly does you deaf ass needs hearing aids but we don't talk about that. You say we need help but look at us as if we are nut cases when we show mental health issues.

Like when I was having an autistic meltdown you hit me for hitting myself and said stop like I was a fucking dog. You don't treat people like that without them resenting you don't be surprised when we yell back as you know of our pasts but elect to ignore it when it comes to that. You act like a pissy bitch I will act as one right back tenfold. You are surprised when we sleep all the time and such from depression why? As if you haven't known this for fucking years and you somehow this it will be by the books you read by people who aren't even mentally unwell. It won't. It never has. You laugh at me as I say I cannot sleep and have to sleep with a fucking knife just to feel safe because of paranoia and laugh when I ask you to move or do something with the fucking sunflower that you somehow in your infinite knowledge put right outside our fucking window and it hits it so my paranoia thinks HE is breaking in to kill us but no that's fine. Those fucking papers you put out are fucking diabolical you are worthy of my hate for how you have treated me for YEARS do you remember the day after Thanksgiving when you said I was unlovable. I was 7. I hid away from you all day and later you took me to a basketball game and to Tim's to apologize but you never did apologize. You never have. When you wouldn't stop acting like that a drove me to cut myself all over and all  you said I love you that's not what someone who is supposed to love you does they are supposed to apologize for their wrongs like you force me to.

Sep 1

I would like to see them try to get a job in this day and age they like to say my mom was lazy for not getting one for 1 1/2 years but she was fuckin trying David wouldn't let her but that's her fault apparently and that she should have left him earlier and that's also her fault like do you know how fucing hard it is to leave a shitty borderline abusive boyfriend it's hella hard but they don't fucking get it as much as they say they do they don't. They just don't. Like I can't just go to a fucking trade school even if I qualify for assistance it is still too expensive even to get a fucking used car is expensive but they don't get that. I'm starting to see why mom doesn't like her that much I see why she's so argumentive and shit like always getting dismissed about serious shit that's important to you fucking sucks ass. I legit can't be myself I'm always looked at weird for everything its always so disturbing the way I dress act my interests and shit like I'm not a little girl anymore accept it already I'm not going back just because you don't fucking like it get the fuck over it cry me a river a build a bridge or some shit fuck me man my dad can accept it my mom kinda can why can't you is it because you want me to be that scared little girl again? That's not happening not again.

Sep 27th

it's my fault for you getting mad that my phone charms got caught on my hand and it somehow looks like I threw it I get you pay for the fucking thing but to hit me for it is fucking awful it's an object I AM A PERSON THAT YOU CLAIM TO LOVE I don't think you do I show any signs or symptoms of mental illness and I'm suddenly evil and unloveable its always my fucking fault anyways this isn't love all you do is criticize me and get mad when I say to stop but once again it's my fault always your the adult and I'm still that stupid fucking child you only see me as that little girl you FUCKING HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING DOG AGAIN im done they turned off the wifi and took our phone so I can't talk to fucking anyone loves this 

[madness-descent]

tw: self harm; suicide; depression; grief; sex; alcohol

cool i think now i have a place to talk without judgment because twitter is totally off limits i guess??

but anyway i just wanted to vent a bit about how im doing lately because i just feel extremely alone even if im surrounded of people

i mean, i lived by myself and then my friend came to live with me after some happenings. and dont get me wrong, its been fun and helpful to have someone else around but as times pass i just feel we dont have the same pace you know

we have some conditions in common like adhd but even then we work differently, as you would expect from two different people right

but on top of that i deal with severe depression and anxiety, and a recently discovered autism just explained half of my life and a big part of my problems growing up

and this is a constant state of slowly getting better and just brutally falling again and again and again. except now i just feel i hit rock bottom or at least almost. it also looks like im being a problematic teenager but im literally a whole grown ass adult and it makes me feel so lesser than for having this kind of problems nowadays when i tried so hard to be the perfect child for my parents, not have any issue that would make me look like "those" teens at school

i feel horrible, i feel lost, i feel alone and i feel like a lost cause altogether

when i was younger like preschool or something i was so certain i would live past 15 for ???? whatever reason. so you might understand my face when i realised i had a whole life to figure out in three years.

and in three years my depression got worse, i had terrible problems with an older guy at school abusing me, i dropped out of school, wasnt nearly as admired and recognised as i was so hard trying to be. like not to mention the famous daddy issues and my desperate attempts for attention and father/male validation, which got me into a bunch of dangerous situations

but now thinking about my past weeks and months... i really just feel i have no salvation whatsoever and i wish i could just;;;;; not exist right now

when i thought things were finally coming together a little bit, my boyfriend dies in january and i sunk oh so low... it's like the whole world falling apart right below my feet and suddenly not absolutely anything has meaning no more

grief a long ass road but god it is a fucking hill

and now i find myself facing grief and a house to administrate and a job to work well at and a relationship with my friend to maintain

and then we get to how we have a different pace... she's the unorganised adhd but gets boosts of energy and cleans everything to make herself feel better. i on the other hand am kind of unorganised but it's of more a question of not cleaning than messing up. which serves nothing when you have to work together to maintain a house and a relationship

but a big part of my time is consumed by being too depressed to clean the house, too depressed to wash the dishes, too depressed to eat, too depressed to shower, too depressed to get up from bed. and i think it's something you can't really get when you don't have depression as well yk

recently we had so many arguments about me not helping, leaving everything for her to do, that we can't wait for me to magically have strength to do my chores. and dont get me wrong she's real understanding but i feel like she just cant get this part. i mean dealing with adhd she also has her moments of hyperfixating on something and not doing anything else for the whole day, which i kind of have too but she now takes meds for it. she can get out of bed, she can have the energy to shower. i dont.

like i take three different meds but they help with such a small part of me that my hardest chore every single day is literally getting out of bed. and i just cant help it

then i had a shutdown and anxiety/panic attack at work about all this stuff and how i dont have my most intimate and closest person anymore. i dont get to share anymore when im happy or sad, or tell about my day, ask about his day, share our horny moments and just solely having someone to talking about almost everything. i just dont have him anymore and it makes me want to die it makes me want to kill myself just so we can be together again.

we will never share any of those moments anymore and it's also kind of his own fault. dying of something preventable, dying of something you were warned about. even when i asked so much for him to take care of himself and dont leave me alone.

and now he's not here anymore and i cant even hate him for it because i still love him so much. it feels like my heart has been ripped apart, like something just bit off a huge part of me that i will never have back

it makes me lose even more of the strength i didnt even have in the first place

now i came to a point where i got so impulsive and reckless i got to talk to strangers online in a way too unhealthy way, looking for someone to meet and fuck or something ??????? getting to the point i drank hiding and my head is like spinning and i feel real insane.

and i thought why not and gave it a try and decided to cut myself. and if felt oh so good. i felt so euphoric like i was invencible, and it made me feel more horny and more excited and more incredible at each cut. i just wanted more

now it's when i find someone to meet right that moment. past midnight. and i did as quietly as i could, i got up, cleaned the mess i left behind me, dressed up and off to meet a total stranger i went

the first moments were everything i wanted at that moment. having my needs met and having sex with a stranger, feeling the last moments of the alcohol and the euphoria from the cuts still burning in my veins

but i needed to go to the bathroom.

and it was at that moment when i looked at me below the bright light that i realised what i have done to myself. and i got anxious. now i needed to leave but i couldnt explain why because he never noticed the scars, or at least didn't mention it.

and it goes with the classic: i ask him not to get mad that i needed to leave, but he wanted more. it's not like i dint want to give, but i just couldnt continue like that. and he pushes it til the moment the cab arrives and he needs to open the door for me because it's a dead end. but he is visibly mad, dont even look at me and dont cares about giving me goodbye anymore. it made me scared at the moment but i went anyway

and i got home. walking in dead silence. put my home clothing again, put everything in it's place again and go try to sleep to pretend it didnt happen, with an unprescripted slightly higher dose of my sleeping meds than i was supposed to take

now it's just another low day where i tell my friend i did something bad and show her my legs, then she keeps a watch on me the rest of the day. she was understanding, she was caring, but i dont think she got my motivations

and now im back at being non verbal and not doing anything and not having strength to get up, to do my chores, anything. playing videogames the whole day to pretend i didnt just fucked up in all senses and trying to pretend i dont exist

but now it's time to go back to work. i mean, her, bc i have been on medical leave this whole time.

and it's her doing the chores again, going to the market, making the food, taking care of everything and being stressed and angry at me again for it

but the thing i want you to understand is that it's not because i stopped being non verbal that i stopped feeling like shit

i still have severe depression and i still can't "just do" things. i cant. im trying but i cant

and if feels so lonely because i don't have someone i can talk about this anymore

yeah i do therapy, yeah i go to a psychiatrist. i have lots of good friends that care about me, or so they say, but it's just not the same thing. i have a hard time maintaining regular communication with my friends and i cant just start trauma dumping someone, especially when most of my friends also deal with their on mental stuff and such

and it's not easy to simply open up and tell her about this, even if she says i can count on her for this. i cant just tell her that i believe we're better off apart because it's difficult.

and it's not that i dont like living with her, but our paces dont match and there's nothing i can do about it because it's not a question of simply wanting to do something

is being able to

and im not

yes if she wasnt here i wouldnt be eating, and showering, and washing the dishes, i wouldnt be doing anything but what im trying the most now that is at the very least check on my cats and give them food and water and clean their litter box at the very least once a day.

now the worst part is knowing it's not over. and i will certainly do it again, because i want to do it again

im trying to but i want so bad to cut myself again and be able to feel good once more, feel a that euphoria coming back

also now that i think of, after breaking this barrier of not self harming, im just so close to being able to commit suicide. this suicide i have been idealising and planning for years now. waiting for it, yearning for it.

and i have the means to.

anyways if you read everything thank you for your crumb of attention. drink water and be safe.

i also would like to specify that i dont (maybe yet) participate in self harm communities and i dont support them: because not a single person should feel they need to go through this and do these things to themselves.

bye.

[rajanilefreak]

phone usage and bad parenting rant

So I guess my mom wants to start a war of pettiness with me again over my phone and how much time I spend on it.

And in most cases with other people I am likelier to give the parent in the situation all the validity. I do spend a LOT of time in my phone reading fanfiction or watching youtube videos. BUT my mom is a whole different beast in this category.

So here we have this grown ass woman that managed to give me an allergy to any sort of news channel or program of any sort because that was the only fucking thing she put on during meals since I was a literal child and because she didn't bother to cultivate an interest on the news in me. I literally spent meal time bored out of my mind because it's not like she's going to bother explaining the most complicated topics or even just regular conversation because she is too focused on what's going on in the news to interact with her own child. Adding to that the fact that my family was always very delayed when it came to getting new technology make for a me that is very fascinated with android because they are like a phone and a computer put together.

This, of course, results in a young adult that has the tendency of zoning out during meals, which seem to be the only time mother dearest has for actual family bonding aside from some weekends (only some because me be busy too), latching onto my phone for my reading which, of course, she doesn't like.

But thing is... she had a lot of opportunities to foster some interaction with me. it's not like it's the first time she complained about my phone habits and I stated right back to her that it didn't matter because she wouldn't be talking to be anyway and then spent a few days not touching the phone during meals just to prove a point (which she either failed to notice, or only bothered correcting course for like one or two meals before going back to ignoring me and only occasionally releasing some commentary that didn't even really need my reply at all). And not just during meals either. I've went as far a sitting right there next to her on the couch for the perfect opening for her to talk to me. heck, I've even went as far as actually starting the conversations to see if she finally woke up and smelled the roses. But always, ALWAYS, she just kept on watching the tv show or movie she was watching or doing her sudoku puzzles or what else she might have on hand and all conversation I started would just fizzle out with only me making an effort.

Adding to that, the few times she does want to talk it always has to be about things she cares about. She definitely doesn't care to make an effort in understanding my interests (she's definitely one of those people that sees their teens watching anime and asks if they aren't getting too old to watch cartoons but then refuses to take the time and see what they like about them, let alone any other interest they might get).

She is also stupidly competitive when it comes to the kitchen. There was a time I was considering investing in getting myself a café. So, of course, i wanted to practice a bit my baking. And I'm fairly good as a baker, not extraordinary, but fairly good for as little experience I have. the problem with testing my potential future products is that we'd have to eat them because we don't have a lot of friends (for multiple reasons), let alone anyone close enough to deliver the goodies to while still fresh, so we'd have to eat most of them ourselves, especially since money was tight.

And despite knowing that I needed to practice baking if I wanted to open a caffé (which was originally an idea she pitched at me herself), she decided it was the perfect time for her to start baking sweets too. So, not only did I have less time in the kitchen because she was there, I also had to be more mindful of what was purchased because, as I said, money was tight.

Not only that, but also my mom absolutely loves to fat shame her daugthers. And I mean, she was already fat shaming us before we actually became overweight over stuff we ate. And with her also baking stuff that we would have to eat (which she always pushed the lion share to me because she's "old and has to be mindful of her health and doesn't want to get fat"), of course I ended up gaining weight. So I had to stop baking or I would become the size of a house on top of dealing with her bullshit.

And it's not like we could both work together on baking the same thing because she only cared about baking what she wanted and even if I magically convinced to bake the things I wanted to practice she is very much the type to be as unhelpfull as possible. very 'it's her way or not at all' type of person. just imagine those backseat drivers and you get the point. And it's not just in baking. It's in everything.

So, not even in the things we do have in common can we actually communicate in a healthy manner.

With all of this said would you rather be on your phone doing something you like and that relaxes you or would you rather either being ignored the whole time (literally replacing you with a wall would have the same effect for the few dialog options she has), shamed for being overweight but then having the excess food shoved your way anyway because this lady's health is more important than yours and she absolutely insists we can't waste food, or have her rant at you over some perceived failing you had?

Honestly, i much prefer the fanfics or watching a youtuber rant. As least the first is relaxing and the second far more entertaining.

So yeah, i agree that my phone usage is excessive at time and I got some very habits out of it, but when the only other option is... THAT! Well. I think I'm actually healthier that I would have been otherwise.

[deateath]

Ykno what I’m thinking about on this fine day? Sanji. Who is surprised. BUT I was rereading this post by @demonzoro and got to thinking specifically about the “started smoking to make himself seem more mature” thing and how pretending (or being forced by circumstance) to be mature as a child can lead to emotional underdevelopment as an adult.

As an oldest sibling and a former Little Girl with Undiagnosed ADHD™, I was always told I was mature for my age, talked well with adults, was very responsible and self-sufficient, etc. I was by no means forced to be like this, but I understood this was praised behavior so I kept up with it and now look at me lol. So I find myself coming across this problem of emotional maturity occasionally. Emotional maturity is influenced by both your adult mentors and younger peers. And who out of the crew had older siblings, other children as friends, or actual adult figures around who loved them? Most everyone EXCEPT Sanji and Usopp, whose mothers died when they were very young and had almost no other children their age in their life.

BUT TIME OUT: by this logic, am I saying that Luffy is emotionally mature? I guess I am. He’s a goofball and impulsive, sure, but he is the one to bring so many people to these significant moments that realize emotional maturity. He makes Nami ask for help in Arlong Park. He makes Robin say she wants to live. He helps Chopper realize he’s not a monster, and to take a step towards achieving his dream by coming with them. He makes Sanji say what he truly wants and ask for help in Whole Cake AND yells at him at the Baratie (which I mentioned here talking about Sanji’s martyrdom). Not to mention the countless side characters who are inspired by him. OKAY TIME IN.

We clearly see Usopp’s emotional immaturity with his pathological lying and inability to take full responsibility for his mistakes. Though, he wasn’t necessarily robbed of a childhood, he didn’t have figures in his life to teach him about becoming an adult, and his childhood is extended when he didn’t want it to be. He’s not fooling himself, he knows he’s a chicken. And his dream is to become a brave warrior! Usopp’s dream is to leave behind his primary hallmark of emotional immaturity.

Sanji, on the other hand, thinks he’s the epitome of sophisticated manhood, but he is clinging to a childhood he never got to have. We see it when he talks about the All Blue and the way he treats women. Sanji’s dream is to find this fairytale place. And unlike Usopp who as a child lacked adult figures and had plenty of (younger, granted) kids on the island, Sanji lacked other children to be around. His siblings were not normal children, and he spent the whole rest of his youth with grown-ass pirates. To fit in and survive, he had to act mature. But he never learns true maturity. Everything Sanji does is him mimicking how he thinks mature people behave. But he hasn’t learned boundary setting, he hasn’t learned to ask for help, he hasn’t learned to be vulnerable.

(((Also I know Robin had to be mature at a young age as well, but she is 8 years older than the east blue crew so we don’t see her moments of emotional immaturity in the canon storyline. In fact she is likely regarded as the most mature before Jinbe joins. Though one could argue water 7/enies lobby is a demonstration of emotional immaturity from Robin, I think it’s specifically trauma-informed due to the whole Devil Child thing bringing ruin to everyone she ever met until that point. Also Spandam is there and his connection to Ohara/threat of buster call is a bfd. Fic ideas for Robin in her late teens/early twenties struggling with emotions anyone…?)))

————————

Anyway. There’s a point in here somewhere. Sanji is prepared to spend his entire adult life to find this childish fantasy. It could be said that both Usopp and Sanji’s dreams are to obtain what they never had. But the key difference is Usopp is searching for emotional maturity, bravery, because he knows he needs it. Sanji is searching for the childhood he never got and he doesn’t realize he’s missing it.

[rendevousz]

mum?

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

avengers x reader

req by @teenwonder ; i absolutely love the entire teams adoration for reader skfksngnsf its so cute! could i please request one a little more nat based? maybe r treats and loves nat like a mom but nat hadn’t noticed that before, and the whole team is like listing examples of how and why 🥺🥺🥺

summary: the four times you needed nat and the one time she admits that she needed you too.

warnings: blood, a random attack out of nowhere because i'm not creative, inaccurate writing of medical situations because i have no idea how those things work, also let's just pretend bruce was around during iron man 2 when tony still had palladium in his arc reactor, also inaccurate descriptions of palladium effects bcs i just...don't know much about palladium pls forgive me thanks, and idk any hospitals in new york/manhattan or even the states LMAO so uh bear with this, and last but not least, my inability to write good endings

word count: 5426

notes: that's a long ass warning nevertheless pls do enjoy this fic <3

"i'm going now, bye!" you bid the team who were having breakfast together, walking out of the common area.

"bye, cupcake! don't get into trouble, don't do what i'd do and definitely don't do what i wouldn't do." tony advised and you rolled your eyes because tony says that to you every morning before you leave for school.

"wait, don't forget your lunch!" nat stands up from her seat and grabs your lunch that she had packed, from the kitchen island, bringing it over to you. "thanks, nat!" you grabbed it, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

nat smiles at the action, turning around to walk back to her spot on the table, only to find the team staring back at her with knowing looks.

"what?"

"you know, you only need to sign a couple papers and the kid's all yours." tony states matter-of-factly. nat snaps her head towards the man, an incredulous look on her face. "what are you talking about?"

"we all see the longing looks on both your faces. she's dying for you to call her your daughter and you, her mother." clint explains and the others nodded in agreement.

"that's nonsense. she has wanda too," nat reasons, sitting back down. "i'm pretty sure she sees wanda as a sister considering how much she drags wanda with her whenever she's causing trouble around the tower." steve raises his brows at the redhead who was in denial.

"she sees you as her mother, nat. just accept it," wanda tells her, taking a sip from her glass. "really? name me one time she showed it." nat challenges them, not knowing that they've been watching your interactions with her for the longest time.

"you have no idea what you just got yourself into, romanoff," clint chuckles, cracking his neck and knuckles as if preparing for a fight.

"remember new mexico?" he smirks and nat only frowns, trying to remember.

i.

"no!" you screamed, dropping down to the ground. you didn't care that you scraped your knees doing that, the only thing that mattered was the overwhelming feeling of grief engulfing your whole being. tears streamed down your face as you looked at the debris on the ground, the remainder of what used to be standing in front of you; a building. blown up, now in ruins.

clint, bucky and steve watched you break down in front of them, their hearts breaking at the sight in front of them as well as the fact that their teammate had been caught up in the middle of the explosion.

"y/n/n? come on, tony's team called for back up. we gotta go," steve tried to get you to stand up, failing when you kept your ground. you screamed when he tried again and their hearts clenched at the heartbreaking sound.

"we can't just leave her! please, we have to find her," you cried, clinging onto steve's body as he ran his hand up and down your suit-cladded back to soothe you. "y/n/n, we can't. the whole place is in ruins now," he didn't want to say it but he had to. he had to in order to get you to leave. "she's gone."

"she can't be gone! she can't just leave us! we need her! i need her, stevie.." you cried into his chest and he had to control himself so he didn't cry right then and there too.

he looked up to see bucky looking at the two of you guiltily, tapping his wrist to indicate that they were running out of time. steve had no choice but to carry you in his arms, getting you to leave the site against your will. but you were too weak to fight back now. "what am i gonna do without her now, stevie?" you asked quietly.

"we're gonna be okay, y/n/n," he tells you, sitting you down on a chair and settling down next to you as clint flew the jet to your next location. the atmosphere was tense and you could tell everyone, too, was sad about this.

"what if we're not? what if we're not gonna be okay, stevie? i know i won't be." you wiped the tears streaming down your face despite the fact that your face still wasn't drying up any time soon.

"because nat wouldn't want to see us like this. she'll be angry if she sees that we're risking people's lives just because of her." he says truthfully.

"we're landing, guys." clint announces and the team prepared for another round of fighting. steve turns to you, wiping the tears on your face as he made you look up at him. "now let's save some people and make nat proud, yeah?"

you nod at him sadly, preparing your weapons. all of you got out the jet and the second battle of the day begun. boy, were these people unlucky because they were on the receiving end of your fury.

you were busy taking down a group of guards alone when you heard a familiar voice. "y/n, behind you!" and you turned just in time to take down a guard who was aiming at you.

you didn't even have time to register your shock of seeing the redhead because more guards came at you two. you guys fought alongside each other until all the men were taken down.

"nat?" you breathed out. "yes, bub?" she answers as you both carefully walked over the knocked out men. she was taken aback when you slammed into her, hugging her the tightest you ever did since you met her.

"please don't ever do that again." you mumbled into her chest. she was about to ask you what you meant when she heard you sniffling. figuring out it wasn't the appropriate moment to ask, she continued to just hug and comfort you in silence.

"wait, that was why she cried that day? because she thought i was in that building when it blew up?" nat asks after steve finished the story. "i never found out why because she never told me."

"yeah, you should've seen her when the building exploded. completely shattered my heart, dude." clint states, remembering the broken down state you were in that day.

"wait, did you guys not grief over my supposed death then?" nat glares at clint, bucky and steve. "in our defense, they were about to blow up about a hundred people, we didn't have much time to process the whole situation." clint tries to convince his best friend, only to receive a glare again from her.

"alright but just because she cried when she thought i was dead, doesn't mean she sees me as her mum. i'd cry too if any one of you guys died," she states, still in denial.

she did love you like how a mother would love her child. but she didn't want you to feel that she was forcing the title onto you. after all, you had so many other adults around you, who's to say that you saw someone else as a parent figure instead of her? she didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

"woman, are you serious?" sam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "need i remind you that the girl sacrificed her life for you?"

ii.

"nat, watch out!" you stood right behind her where the man was about to attack her. you gave him a harsh kick to the head and that was all it took for the man to go unconscious.

the redhead turned around, not having enough time to comprehend what had happened before you dropped into her arms. you two were lucky the last of the men had already been taken out.

"bub? what's wrong?"

at this point, you were fully leaning against her. she was holding up your whole weight, hands wrapped around your middle to support you. that was when she felt it. the familiar thick substance on her fingers, leaking from the back of your suit.

her eyes widened, pulling one hand away from you to look at it. red. her breathing picked up as one of her hands felt around your back, finally feeling the handle of a knife sticking out from your back.

your eyes were already drooping by now and she lightly shook you awake, careful to not hurt you. she lowered you down and you were both sat on the floor now.

she presses a finger to her ear and you could hear her voice echo in your ear from your own comms. "can someone come please," she paused, exhaling shakily. "y/n's down."

if it had been any other person, she probably would be bringing them to the jet by now but it was you. she didn't know what came over her but when she saw that you were injured, it was like her whole body shut down. her knees felt weak and she couldn't bring herself to move.

"hey, hey, keep your eyes open. can you do that?" she asked gently and you nodded weakly. "bub, why did you do that?" she cried softly, moving your hair away from your face as you leaned sideways against her. the action caused your face to be smudged by your own blood from her hands but she didn't care as she caressed your cheek.

"he–he was gonna hurt you. i–i couldn't..." you paused a while, the pain getting too much for you to bear. "y/n, don't strain yourself. you need to stay awake," she tells you as tears streamed down her face.

"rather me than you," you whispered. nat's eyes widened at this. "don't say that, bub." she scolds gently.

you smiled weakly at her. "i've grown too dependent on you, nat. it's to the point that i," you coughed and nat worried that you were straining yourself but you continued. "that i'd rather die than live without you. you probably can go on with life without me but i can't without you. i need you, nat." your eyes closed and nat panics, shaking your body.

"y/n?! bub?! stay awake, please, they're coming!" nat cries out loud, holding onto your limp body.

"did we not agree to not mention that to me anymore?" nat glares at sam for bringing that up.

the night of that incident had been one of the worst nights for nat. she sat by your bed all night after you had been treated. she had been the first one you saw after you woke up. she had been the one you broke down in front of after you admitted the full reasoning behind your actions. she had been the one who opened her arms for you to make yourself at home in.

"i'm sorry but you must be blind if you can't see how really she sees you for the past years," bucky states. nat turns to him with a glare. "you don't know what you're talking about."

"oh really? who does she call whenever she has a really bad nightmare?" bucky questions rhetorically with his eyebrows raised.

iii.

"no, please, don't!" you begged, asleep and thrashing around in your bed. quiet whimpers turned into heavy breathing as you plead for your life in your nightmare. "please," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling harshly.

FRIDAY, noticing the amount of distress you were in, alerted the closest person to your room, that being bucky who was returning from a late night trip to the kitchen for some water.

he quickly went into your room, only to see you shivering and thrashing around in your bed. "doll?" he approaches slowly, finding you still asleep, though sweating a lot. nightmare, he realised.

"doll? wake up," he gently shakes you and you immediately jolt awake, breathing heavily as you register what was going on. "it's okay, it was just a nightmare," he soothes you, holding you close as one hand rubbed up and down your back while the other held your head to his chest.

none of that helped as you were still in the same state as you were when you woke up. "are you okay?" he asks, worried. "nat... i need nat.. please i need her," you whimpered, shaking in his hold. you were having trouble breathing.

"FRIDAY, get romanoff."

within minutes, nat arrived, looking panicked and disheveled like she had just woken up, which she just did. "what's wrong?" she asks bucky, approaching you two.

"she was having a nightmare and woke up and i think she's having a panic attack. she asked for you," he informs her and immediately moves away when she approaches, so that she could take his place.

"bub? it's me," you look up to meet natasha's pretty green eyes. "you're okay, bub. can you tell me five thing you can see?"

you looked away from her eyes, looking around your room. "i–i see my book on my nightstand, my lamp, my jacket on the chair, my laptop and the painting on the wall." you told her after some difficulties.

"good, that's good. four things you can feel?"

"i feel the socks on my feet, my fluffy blanket, the pillow i'm leaning on and your hands around me."

she smiles softly at you. "three things you can hear?"

"i hear your voice. a–and the faint noise from the ac and i can also hear bucky's breathing." you look up at the man and he smiles sheepishly at you, standing around awkwardly. you gave him a small smile back.

"two things you can smell?"

"i can smell my own shampoo..and my room's air freshener." you told her more calmly now, feeling the panic attack already going away.

"one thing you want to taste?"

"i wanna taste wanda's blueberry pancakes." you pout and the two adults couldn't help but chuckle. "you can have them in the morning. right now you need to sleep so you can have the energy to devour them tomorrow, okay?" you nod at the woman as she tucks you in.

not long after, you fell asleep. she then presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving with a less worried bucky now. and sure enough, the next morning, wanda made you blueberry pancakes.

"okay, so what? we all need someone to help us through panic attacks?" nat rolls her eyes. "did you miss the part where i came in and tried to help but she specifically asked for you? she needed you, nat."

"guys, i... i love her with my whole heart but she has all of us. i don't wanna make her feel like she's restricted to only one of us. you all love her too," nat reasons.

"yes but she doesn't have anyone to call her mum and frankly, i think you'd be perfect for it." wanda encourages the older woman.

"i—" before she could continue, her phone rang loudly and she thanked whoever it was that called her because now she didn't have to make up excuses about her doubt of becoming your official mother.

iv.

she looks down at the caller id, sighing when it was you, meaning the team had more against her now. of course she didn't mind you calling her, you could call her when she'd be asleep after a mission and she'd still pick up with a smile on her face. but it was the fact that the whole team could see how she softened when she realised it was you who called that bothered her. she really didn't want them to let her have hopes that you'd accept her as your mother.

"bub?" she said into the phone and half the team smirked at her while the other half gave her knowing smiles. "aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"

"yeah but uh are you busy right now? i um, i need you."

nat immediately stands up, worry etched onto her face and the team frowned at this. "what happened? are you okay?"

"you know how i told happy i wanted to walk to school today? yeah, i just remembered why i don't walk to school anymore."

"what do you mean? what happened? are you hurt? did someone hurt you?" she bombards you with questions out of worry. at this point, the team had also stopped their chatter and teasing looks, equally worried for your well-being.

"yeah, i am. wait, maybe not. i mean, i was just being dramatic but uh, i tripped on who-knows-what and now i have a sprained ankle. i can't walk now so i'm standing in an alley right now so i'm not in the way of people. can you come get me?"

nat sighs in relief, thankful that it wasn't anything that she was thinking of. "you are unbelievable, y/n." she chuckles in disbelief at your clumsiness. "can you tell me where you are? i'll come get you now. i'll have the school know you're not coming today." you told her your location and she immediately leaves after telling the team what happened to you.

you were expecting nat to call again, to tell you she was around the corner but instead you heard a whoosh of air beside your head, followed by a crack sound. your head followed the sound, eyes widening when you saw that a dart had struck the wall beside your head. you looked ahead, trying to see where that came from.

if it hadn't been for your fast reflexes being an avenger for the past few years, you probably wouldn't have ducked in time when another dart came flying right for your head. "what the hell?" you grunted, staying low but still looking around for the source. you squinted when you looked up, the sun blazing but you managed to catch a glimpse of a man on a rooftop nearby. he had blonde hair and was dressed in all black, donning a same coloured mask that covered the bottom half of his face.

"you had one job! how could you miss her twice?!" the blonde hears his colleague hiss in his ear through the earpiece. "i'm sorry! i'm no hawkeye, how was i supposed to get her in one try?!" he scolds back.

"you didn't even get her in two!"

"shut up and just let me work! you're distracting me!"

"hurry because i see the redheaded one nearing the alley. boss'll kill us if he finds out we didn't get her in her vulnerable state."

"i'm trying, i'm trying!" the blonde closes one eye, his sight now locked on your crouched state. he saw you move once you saw him and he cursed under his breath, his weapon following your movements. "she's moving!"

"just take the shot and be done with it! you have to go now!"

and shoot he did. after he shot the dart gun, he immediately fled but it wasn't like you were going to be able to chase him down or anything. a scream left your lips as a dart pierced through your skin, right under your shoulder.

you dropped down to the ground, right in the middle of the alleyway. you cried when you felt the burn in your flesh. you had been stabbed multiple times before with much bigger objects so why did this feel different?

"y/n?! is that you?!" you heard nat's voice yell from a small distance away. "i'm here," you croaked out, feeling your body grow weaker at an alarming rate.

"oh my god, bub, why are you on the ground? it's dirty, c'mon let's get you up. which foot did you sprain?" she places both her hands under your arms, pulling you up on your feet before accidentally dropping you back when you let out a shriek, crying out in pain.

"oh my god, did i hit your ankle? are you okay?" nat assumed that your tear-stained face was because of your sprained ankle but then you wheezed, your eyes drooping the longer she stood there.

your right hand slowly reached across your left shoulder, the butt of the dart sticking out of your skin now in between your shaking fingers. nat's eyes followed your hand movement's, a gasp leaving her lips.

"y/n, what happened?!" she panicked but before she could even get an answer from you, you had already blacked out. her eyes widened, knowing it was the dart because why else would you pass out that quick from a simple penetration in the shoulder. you had dealt with much worse than that and she knew your tolerance level.

she took off your bag, careful to not move the dart. she then placed her hands under your knees and behind your back, easily picking your unconscious body up and rushing back to the tower.

when she arrived, she was met with many confused yet concerned looks from the tower staff, seeing the black widow, rushing in with the youngest avenger unconscious in her arms. they had seen you leave the tower for school about half an hour ago so they knew something must've happened on the way.

"get bruce in the hospital wing. tell him it's urgent." she tells the woman working the front desk, hurrying into the elevator and telling FRIDAY to get her to the floor she so desperately wanted to arrive at quicker. black lines appeared on the left side of your neck, slowly spreading to the right side and she assumed it was from that damned dart in your left shoulder.

"natasha! what's wrong? they said it was an emergency," the doctor spoke in a panicked voice when nat entered, immediately going quiet when he saw you in her arms, neck lined with seemingly black veins.

nat laid you down on the surgery table, frown growing when black lines steadily spread to your arms now. though she was too worried to think, she managed to at least tell bruce what was outwardly wrong with you.

"dart. left shoulder." she blurted, incapable of forming proper sentences now that she had seen more of you. the black lining your skin got her speechless and anxious. bruce got ready with medical gloves, removing the dart from your flesh before analysing the pattern of your skin. it looked familiar.

"FRIDAY, get tony down here. it's urgent."

"bruce, please, what's wrong with her?" she cried, tears now freely streaming down her face. she didn't cry much in front of anyone but when it came to you, you always managed to get her to do just that.

"hey, what's going on? FRIDAY said there was an emergency here, who's hurt?" nat heard tony's panicked voice but she didn't make an effort to reply. her gaze was fixed on only you.

tony's jaw dropped, frowning when he saw you on the bed, upper body covered in black lines. "what the hell happened?!"

tony stepped beside bruce, taking a closer look at your skin. his frown deepened. "wait, it looks like.."

"yeah, looks exactly like when you had palladium instead of vibranium in your arc reactor."

"does that mean—"

"palladium's been running through her veins for about twenty minutes now. FRIDAY, how high is her blood toxicity level?" bruce asks, sampling a drop of your blood from when he took out the dart.

"53% and it is still steadily increasing."

"tony, at the rate it's going, if she's not treated in the next fifteen minutes or so, she'll.." bruce pauses, not wanting to say it out loud.

"no, she just needs lithium dioxide. that's how fury and i cured your palladium poisoning, tony." nat finally speaks.

"SHIELD probably has them but they're all the way in dc. they're not gonna reach here in time," tony states solemnly, reaching over to move your hair out of your face, looking down at you sadly.

but he was immediately pulled aside, nat grabbing his collar and looking him straight in the eyes. "you have your stupid iron suits that can probably travel faster than the speed of sound if you try. you can go down there yourself and get the damn thing. i swear to god, tony, i'm literally going to destroy those stupid suits myself if you don't put them to good use." nat threatens, glaring at the billionaire.

tony's eyes widened, the genius having not thought about nat's idea yet. "yeah, yeah, you're right, i'll go now."

he left immediately and nat approached your bed hesitantly, not wanting to see the black lines making home on the skin on your upper body. "do you think tony'll make it back in time?" she sniffles and bruce's worried frown on his face softened. "of course he will. he won't let anything happen to y/n. we won't let anything happen to y/n." he assured her.

there was nothing they could do now but wait for tony to come back with the lithium dioxide. nat sat beside your bed, hands gingerly grasping one of your own. despite the black staining it, nat held it to her face and her tears rolled past the back of your hand.

bruce decided to give her some privacy, opting to inform the whole team of the situation instead of standing around idly.

nat pulled your hand away from her face, rubbing her thumb over the back of it, crying even more at the sight in front of her. "y/n, please. i've never told you this but i need you." she pauses, breathing in shakily. "i've always needed you and i'll always need you. you can't leave me, please. you said i could go on with life without you but you're so wrong, y/n. you're the reason i'm still here and you're the reason i still want to be here. if you're not here then it's as if i have no reason, no purpose. i need you, y/n. so much more than i'd like to admit. heck, probably much more than you need me. so please, don't leave me. i can't do this without you." nat sobs out, watching the patterns on your skin spreading and growing bolder.

at this point, the whole team had now gathered outside of the room, watching nat cry over you. they wanted so bad to get a closer look at their beloved baby avenger but they respected nat and instead, waited for her to finish talking to you. once she stood up and looked around, bruce knew she was done so he entered, followed by the team.

"status, FRIDAY?" bruce asks, sampling a bit of your blood again. "blood toxicity at 96% now."

the team looked your unconscious body in apprehension, some crying and some worried out of their minds.

"goddamnit! where the hell is stark?!" nat growled. her eyes were now puffy after having spent the last half an hour crying. the team had never seen her lose her cool like this but they figured why.

as if on cue, tony's iron man suit crashed through the windows of the room but he couldn't care less. his main priority was to get to you quickly. in his hand was a silver briefcase that he passed to bruce.

bruce opened the case before wasting no time in plunging the syringe containing lithium dioxide, your supposed cure, into you. immediately, the black patterns on your skin started disappearing. it was slow but noticeable. it started from the tips of your fingers, going up towards your neck.

everyone sighed in relief, and to tony's surprise, nat hugged him tightly. "thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me." she whispers. tony pats her back gently. "hey, i care about her too, okay? of course i'd do this for her. any one of us would."

nat smiles at him when she let him go, turning back to you and almost crying out in joy when your skin had finally turned back to normal. she let the medical assistants set your bed up and handle your sprained ankle before going back to sit by you. the team left her alone with you once again.

it was only about an hour later did you wake up, squinting when bright lights shone down on you. you moved around but you felt hands around your left and you heard a familiar voice.

"and remember when you dragged wanda to pull that prank on me with you and after you did, i grounded you like i was your mum or something?" you hear her chuckle, still not noticing that you've woken up.

"i didn't mind, though. frankly, i don't think i would ever mind if you continued acting like my mother or something," you spoke and she immediately tore her gaze from your hands, looking at you, now wide awake.

"bub!" she hugs you so tightly you didn't think you could breathe. you still returned the hug though, laughing. "i was worried you might still have some palladium in your bloodstream."

"wait, palladium?" you asked her in shock. "yeah, the dart that got you in that alley, it contained palladium. it's highly toxic so we used lithium dioxide to counter it. speaking of the dart, i'm going to find out who did this to you and they're never going to see the light of day for putting us through all of this." nat says, disturbingly calm.

"yeah...you do that," you tell her, slightly scared. "but palladium? in my blood? how cool is that? i had literal metal in my blood! i could've become like tony but like...palladium woman or something." you said excitedly.

"you do know we already have metal in our blood, right bub?" nat questions in amusement. "oh." you say dumbly. "and palladium don't belong in our body and you literally almost died because of it." your mouth opened but no words came out.

"speaking of, can you please not do that again? i really thought i was gonna lose you." she whispers, stroking your hair. "oh yeah, of course. i'll just announce to the whole world to not target the youngest avenger," you joke, smile dropping when nat gave you a stern look.

"nat, being part of the avengers at my age undoubtedly means i'll be a target for the bad people out there, but i don't care because while i get to kick ass, i know all of you have my back when it's my ass that's kicked. and i think that's the best part of being an avenger; the sense of security i get having you amazing people as my teammates." you tell her honestly and she smiles softly.

"oh come here you," she pulls you in for another hug but this time it's better because you could still breathe. you make yourself comfortable, snuggling into her.

"did you mean it?" she asked and you look up at her in confusion. "mean what?"

"when you said you wouldn't mind me acting like your mother."

"of course i do, you're like the mother i never had. i wouldn't even mind you being my actual mother." you say without a second thought, eyes widening when you realised what you had said. you swore under your breath, knowing you've just made it awkward between you two.

"i– really?" despite the teams efforts to make her see the truth, it was much more meaningful when she heard you say it yourself. "y–yeah.." you admit sheepishly.

"then you wouldn't mind if i actually adopted you?" she asks carefully, gauging your reaction. your jaw dropped, eyes going wide once again. "are you serious?!"

"yeah." she smiles at you fondly. "no! of course i won't mind!" you hug her tightly, tears forming in your eyes. you had gone all your life without parents so this was a huge thing for you. not only were you going to finally have a mother, but the most amazing woman you knew was going to be your mother.

"mum?" you tested the title, smiling when she acknowledged it. you were now crying in joy.

"hey, don't cry." she soothes you, running a hand up and down your back. "no, no, i'm just so happy. this is the best day of my life." you tell her. "me too, bub."

you stayed in her arms until you fell back asleep, nat tucking you in before going back to sit down on the chair. she looked down at you fondly.

sure, she was scared of the big step she was about to take with you but she had you with her and she knew that was enough. "i love you, y/n." she whispers, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky