#davekat x reader
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cherryluvrx3 ¡ 10 months ago
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meat lovers amirite??
Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas
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A story where teen Dave, Karkat and friends work at a Pizza Hut. After Dave delivers to your place, you get a little crush and end up getting pizza more often just to see him and eventually end up falling for Karkat too.
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The troll characters will be in here, if you want to view them as humans go ahead but I don’t think I’ll specify if they’re regular trolls or just humans here
Btw the readers friend group is just a mostly random mix of characters I like 😭 (Terezi, Roxy, Nepeta, Gamzee) and this'll probably have other ships ill tag later,, don't read if you get upset reading other ships you don't like (there won't be any proship ones)
Reader is mostly kept gender neutral but there might be some gender terms both feminine and masculine but can just be seen as jokey names. This fic is mostly silly n fun
(Also this is being cross posted from my ao3 account :p)
———————
chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
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davekat-sucks ¡ 6 months ago
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Can I request MSPA reader/ Alpha Dave is better than Davekat? I'm requesting that for reasons... that aren't self-shipping related...
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Alpha Dave x MSPA Reader is better than Davekat.
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2ds-titties ¡ 1 month ago
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Hi dear donors ! ❤️
I would like to extend my thank and gratitude for the support you have been offering over the last eleven months. ❤️☺️
My family and I have been suffering and going through the hardest days we have ever experienced in our life . Things are very hard to get and and sometimes unattainable.😭😓
Our sufferings and hardship started on the first day of the war when all our possessions were completely destroyed and burned. We have become displaced and homeless , finding ourselves in a small tent in streets with no means of life. We lack every single necessary thing of life; food, water, hygiene essentials, and other necessities have become scarce and rare.
Our life has been tough and harsh all the last time. No cooking gas , nor cooking tools exist . We struggle to prepare a small meal of food.
No bakeries are available. Everything seems hard and unbelievable.😭
This is a part of burying the dead. We also face some problems in the process of buying our dead people as no place is there for the family. Tombs aren't for the number of people living on a small spot of land.
All what we need is to survive the war and be safe. We are trying to secure the daily basic living necessities and this can come true with your contribution and support. Please don't spare this moment of supporting the people in need in Gaza in this tough and dire time. You can help us by either donating however small it is or sharing my posts. Your support makes a big difference for families in need.https://gofund.me/7e428359
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cherryluvrx3 ¡ 10 months ago
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meat lovers amirite??
Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas
Chapter 2
It’s been two days since I ordered that pizza and it’s been two days having that smug brat with the nametag “Dave” stuck in my brain.
Honestly I don’t know why I keep thinking about him.
Maybe because it’s been a while since a guy who wasn’t Gamzee has been nice to me or played along with my jokes? Or that he actually seems like a cool guy? Oh geez he is genuinely cool and he knows it. That’s probably why he seems so full of himself- but it’s like you can’t get mad because he has good REASON to be full of himself. I haven’t talked to anyone new my age since I was like a sophomore. The friends I have now are cool of course but I need to start making new bonds! New memories! I’m a senior! I should be talking to more people- well they preferably should be ones from my school but guys who work at Pizza Hut could also work!
Well anyways, as I was saying before, Mr. Dave who works at Pizza Hut has been on the brain and unfortunately for me, my friends also see him as a golden opportunity for me to open up the romance section of my life. So, he, a guy who doesn’t know us, and a guy who we don’t even know has become a recurring topic that my friends can’t just leave alone. Well I guess they’re just trying to help me get a boyfriend.. but still!
——— two days ago..
After I closed the door, I was already prepared to listen to the four dickbags I call friends tease and mock me till the sun goes down, well actually, three guys because Terezi’s sole focus was tearing up the pizza she just snatched from my hands.
“OoooH! Would you look at that? I think someone actually has a little crush?” Roxy giggled as she pulled out cups. “Oh my- shut up Rox. I literally just met the guy, saying I have a ‘crush’ is total delusion.” I grumbled snatching a cup from her.
“Really? Then what was with how you were acting hmm?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “You were totally trying to impress him by ‘acting’ cool and don’t lie! You tried to drag out the conversation just to talk to him more!” Roxy smiled slyly and bumped me with her hip. I tried to hide the embarrassment on my face by digging my head in the fridge, pretending to look for something.
“Mhm! If you ask me -” “No one’s asking-” “I THINK! That adorable, nervous way you were acting was totally a purrfect example of having a crush!” “I'M JUST NATURALLY SHY!” I shout to Nepeta as I see her already adding Dave and editing her mental shipping chart. “Says the guy who’s currently blowing a motherfucker’s ear off..” Gamzee groaned as he was right next to me when I yelled. “Ah sorry..”
“Yeah right they have a crush on that guy! He’s ugly just like I thought!” Terezi laughed while still chewing all the food stuffed in her mouth.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Uh…Rezi?.. You’re blind ‘member..? Roxy awkwardly laughed.
“Okay and!? I can just tell! He has like- ugly energy y'know? I can smell it on him!” she said defensively, again, with food in her mouth.
“If you can smell anything on him it’s probably fuckin’ pizza grease.” I grumbled.
“I thought he was purrty cute right?” Nepeta asked Gamzee who was chugging a bottle of faygo that he pulled out of nowhere. “Hmm… he wasn’t too bad… the shades make him look a little douche-y though..” He murmured, now more focused on getting some sausage slices before Terezi ate them all.
“So?” Roxy slid next to me with a sly smile.
“So...?”
“Well are ya gonna try to get to know him or not?” She asked in a somewhat exasperated tone. I sighed before speaking, “Ok, lets say, hypothetically, I have somewhat of an interest in getting to know him- as a friend, literally how would I do that?” I asked before taking a bite of a slice that looked… extra burnt?
“I think they fucked up on the peperoni..” Gamzee pointed out how it was much more.. toasty. “Shit, I’ll eat it!” Terezi said, snatching up the most burnt piece and biting into it like nothing.
“..anyways!” Roxy said, bringing me back into the convo. “You can uh..hm..call? Right now? and complain about the burnt pizza so he can come give us a replacement?”
“Girl that’s not flirty, that's just asking for a new pizza.” I deadpanned. “Besides, it's not all burnt and it doesn't seem like Terezi minds eating it- god her jaw just unhinges like a snake..”
“Well you can call tomorrow for pizza to eat?” Nepeta offered. “Fuck I look like? A ninja turtle? I’m not eating pizza for two days in a row.” “Okay! How about like two days from now?” She pouted before shoving a cinnabon in her mouth.
“Hmm..”
“It’s the best ‘natural’ option ya got. A motherfucker gots to take chances if they wanna sniff the sweet aroma of the thorn covered flower we call love.” Gamzee patted my shoulder. “Ugh don’t let him start preaching again!” Terezi groaned, face planted on the table, clearly sick from overeating.
“I guess that’s what I’ll try..” I sighed.
———- present…
Okay.. it’s two days from now and I should call. But what do I say? Order a pizza duh! I mean when he actually gets here what do I say? I gotta stand out compared to all the other guys around town he delivers to know? But I also can’t make it super obvious I wanna get to know him because that’s… like.. creepy…
ding!
Roxy <3
-You call yet?
Tezi >:]
-if you’re gonna do it, don't pussy out!
Ugh! If I keep worrying about the details I'll never get anywhere. I’ll call now. Right now.
————
Dave sighed and blew off the imaginary dust from the counter for the third time. John keeps this place really clean.. he wished he didn’t though… no, not really. It’s more like he wanted something to do. Today was a really slow day. Only thing he could do was count the seconds or annoy Karkat but he already over did it today, the guy seemed like he was on his last thread for real. Best if he didn’t go in the back for a bit and just let Karkat make his pizzas. It was sort of therapeutic for him? In a weird way?
Whatever.
He just wanted something to do.
Normally he could just talk to Aradia who was covering John’s shift but she was out on delivery right now. Even though she was always a bit weird to talk to, that's how desperate he was for something to do.
He sighed again.
.
..
…
….
Ring ring-
He never picked up a phone so fast.
“This is Pizza Hut, what can I do for you?”
“Yeah uh.. Can I get a delivery of a small pepperoni pizza?”
“Alright.. Anything else?”
“Uhm yeah can you...”
“Uh uh?”
“Can you..ugh.. make sure to send your cutest delivery boy again? Ok thanks bye!”
and the call ended.
Oh.
Must be that one guy from before. Last time Dave went he saw their friends peeking around the corner so he could figure out that the poor guy’s friends just set them up. Does that mean they’re doing it again? Already feels a bit like an old joke to play so soon but whatever, at least he had something to do.
A few minutes later Aradia came in looking as.. Aradia like as ever.
“Hey Aradia?”
“Yes, Dave?”
“We got another order for delivery but uh.. can I take it and you’ll man the cashier?”
“Hm.. alright.” Aradia said and just tossed the keys to him which he of course caught perfectly in a cool kid manor and he was out the door.
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deactivated-deadpool-anon ¡ 1 year ago
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Homestuck^2 screencap edits
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homestuck-fanauthor-coalition ¡ 7 months ago
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!HOT! SINGLE TROLLS looking for CASUAL PAPS in YOUR hivestem!!!!
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CLICK HERE FOR EASY NOOK
Now that I have your attention, hey! This past month, our discord server had a fanfic gift exchange/competition! The fics can be found at https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HS_FA_Co_Writing_Competition_02_2024/works
Any reader can vote on the best in genre here!
There were 9 entries, running the gamut from classic Davekat to The Condesce finding Diamonds :0!!!
Our members submitted prompts they wanted to see fulfilled, and then wrote other members' prompts that they were randomly assigned. Members of the coalition can guess who wrote which fic before it's all revealed at the end!
Summary of the works below!
Bubble Glub and Flub: Jake, seeking a new experience in meeting with a sea-dwelling alien in the afterlife, attempts not to shove his foot too far down his own ignorance shaft.
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friends: Vriska sure has been 'hands on' with Rose's alcoholism recovery. It almost feels. Like she's paling at her. >:[
Karkat: Celebrate Troll Valentine's Day: You utterly fail to come up with a summary that would not be completely redundant in the face of the title's clear call to action. You are Karkat Vantas, and you are going to celebrate Troll Valentine's Day. At least, that's what you've just been told to do.
Kintsugi: The Rose-Tinted Quadrant: Rose has accepted Vriska's help with her disordered alcohol usage. Vriska intends to help her as much as she possibly can. And if that means butting into Kanaya's newly blooming relationship, well, it can't be helped. The universe is at stake!
Monte Cristo; Croque Monsieur: Shortly before the events of Homestuck^2, Sollux receives an invitation to a lunch date with Karkat. A ceasefire has been called for a single day, for some reason this day is important to Jane. The only problem is that Sollux and Karkat haven't spoken more than ten words to each other for nearly thirty years.
someglubby put me outta my fishery:
CC: stop glubbin to me -- colloquialCondescension [CC] blocked tonicandGin [TG] -- -- tonicandGin [TG] unblocked colloquialCondescension [CC] -- CC: W)(AT TG: u aint geftin rid a me TAHT eeasiely TG: WONK
the things you think you see in me: “I really can’t tell if you’re fucking with me right now,” you’d said. “But the point is, Rose already told me that she and Kanaya have some super special girls-only Valentine’s plan lined up and I’m sure TZ and Vriska are gonna be busy cuddling in a closet or whatever the fuck they do when they’re not around and we already spend all our time together and like, make out, or whatever, so pardon the fuck out of me if I thought it might be fun to do something that’s like a real date. Or whatever.”
Wearing The Pants: wishlist prompt: Vriska x John, "Wearing the pants" takes place on earth c. not epilogues compliant.
"will u b my valentine" 7x combob: Roxy tries to have a normal Valentine's Day. It's a pity that nothing about her is normal.
Thank you to the authors for participating! @arealpeople @madam-melon-meow @shadow-wasser @myusernameisstolen @askaniritual @wmb-salticidae @meowloudly15
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ozuzo ¡ 4 months ago
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4, 12, 29, 36 for the ask game!!!
4. Favourite ♠ ship?
Back in the day I used to really like Snowman and Jack Noir in whatever the carapacian equivalent of kismesissitude is. Also: erisol! ♠️ (what can I say, they just look really good together!)
12. Favourite ancestors ship?
Gonna be honest, chief, when I first read Homestuck I might have missed a good chunk of ancestor lore because of its sheer thickness, so the ancestors aren't really all that present in my mind. But if we're talking aesthetics I guess I kinda dig Mindfang and Dualscar? Or the mother-son relationship between Dolorosa and the Signless? I've seen people do Signless x Disciple x Psiionic and that's honestly pretty good too, but yeah, nothing I actively think about!
29. Favourite fanfiction(s) of your ship(s)?
I haven't read all that many fics to begin with and I'm a picky reader, but if my 5 AO3 bookmarks are anything to go by:
- Roommate Support (davekat, comic!)
- In Which Dirk Strider Tries And Mostly Fails To Contain His Internal Dialogue, As Usual (dirkjake, but it's not really ship centered)
- shits definitely got a certain bouquet of jpeg artifact to it not to mention its strong as hell i think we invented something beautiful and terrible here today (davekat)
- calvariĂŚ (dirkjake)
- Dirk, Jake, and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known (dirkjake)
36. A ship that you used to hate/not like so much but now you love/like?
I wouldn't say I like it because I still don't care for it, but I used to despise gamtav with the strength of a trillion suns and now it's just... there. Character growth, y'all!
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knights-unwelcommentary ¡ 9 months ago
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Is it just me or do a lot of davekat fics feel like they're actually reader x oc lately?
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cryptid-catnip ¡ 1 year ago
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hi!! are oneshot requests still open? if so, can i please request yandere!davekat x also yandere!troll!reader where everyones trying to hide their yandere tendencies from each other, until bang!!! trickster mode and everyone finds out. if this is too specific/oneshots are closed/whatever then just yan!davekat x yan!reader is ok DHSJDBSKAJ im so starved for davekat content its unreal
Im sorry, I don't do yandere reader :/
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darks-arts ¡ 2 months ago
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Oh their audience would radically shift!
Most of the people who vriska has screwed over were women, so yeah the general audience would sour on him so fast. There do be a bias against male characters who screw over women in general consciousness of humanity. Is just a reality of culture we currently got, boy hits girl and audience goes ">:0".
Using kanaya to get free dress, blinding Terezi, giving jade her narcolepsy, killing aradia so on so forth. Its not a good look for Boyska. Suddenly its a man doing all this abuse and lashing out, n the average reader wouldnt really be as forgiving as they are with Grlska.
The one saving grace tho would be Boyska's romance with Tavros n or John. Now we got a Yaoi love triangle!! I could see Boyska x Tavros n or John having a pretty healthy fujoshi following especially in the 2010s! Look out davekat theres a new mlm ship to obsess over, and this time its toxic!!
(Not to mention Boyska and Eridan being ex BOYFRIENDS now, damn now thats a spicy ship)
But yeah definitely not as popular as her current following. Boyska would instead enjoy a nice lil niche but active community tho like Gamzee and Eridan! Kinda wish there was an option for this poll that said "No, but would be about just as popular as they are now". Theyd be popular but just with a completely different crowd! I know its like the third one is basically saying but the wording doesnt allow for the nuance I desire.
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davekat-sucks ¡ 6 months ago
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i think, mspa reader x mobster kingpin is better than davekat, not for selfship reasons :P
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Mobster Kingpin x MSPA Reader is better than Davekat.
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dav3katz ¡ 2 years ago
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Got any DaveKat/Reader hcs?
Davekat x reader hcs
- dating the two of them is.. simply put… chaotic. But that is what you expect when dating them anyways.
- the two of them like the lazy life, playing video games and watching shitty movies on the couch is how they often spend their evenings with you, and they help out when they can.
- Dave is more likely to get an actual job, but karkat would not. He would, if he wasn’t so goddamn rude to everyone he met in his life. So safe to say, he’d rather be a malewife.
- I mention all this because well.. moving in with them would be pretty quick. I’d say they take the relationship slow but that’s the one thing that’s pretty quick in your relationship, since the both of them are annoying and clingy.
- arguments between them happen often, but never anything serious and can easily be solved between the two of them.
- as stated before are extremely clingy, when sleeping you’re squished in the middle of them, all the time. Even when cuddling on the couch, and gives karkat a dirty look when he comes home to the two of you cuddling on the couch and leaving him out.
- Dave also likes to flirt with you more than usual in front of karkat to piss him off, it’s the only time he doesn’t get nervous about flirting with you
- neither are the best with comforting and are both equally awkward but do their best
- their attempts at romance with you are also completely different, Dave is more flirty and tries to be smooth, but still thinks movie nights are good enough. Karkat tries to be more cliche (but can’t say anything cliche without bursting red) and gives you second hand embarrassment, whilst trying too hard.
- the two are cuddled up to eachother when they can’t be with you, the good thing about dating the two of them is that when you don’t have time for them they always have eachother to fill the void
- the two of them are awkward with romance, even if they try to act like they’re not. So you have to take the lead with a lot of things, you’re definitely the more “dominant” one in the relationship. I could not think of another word just deal with it.
- constant bickering between the two, however it’s easy to tell it’s friendly. The two are very different but very similar. They have different attempts at romance but very similar wants and needs.
- their friends make a constant effort to hang out with either just Dave or just karkat, never both. Because holy shit do they just talk to eachother for hours about the cute shit you do throughout the day.
- they both pay close attention to you, if that wasn’t obvious. Dave stares for a long time and you never notice due to his shades but if you look in his direction his entire face goes red, while karkat is just shameless about it and turns his head in the opposite direction if you look back at him.
- the two rarely ever want to leave the house for anything that isn’t grocery shopping or buying something related to the house, like a new toilet or something because god knows the house is always falling apart thanks to these two idiots.
- however they’d never say no to you if you wanted to leave, but they cannot guarantee they’ll have fun or won’t complain lol.
- sometimes both boys don’t know when to give you space so please just be upfront with them about it
- this also means when it comes to your boundaries cuz Dave seriously doesn’t have any and Karkat does have his own and constantly yells at Dave for being like that ;(
- but they love you very much and it’s very obvious
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cherryluvrx3 ¡ 10 months ago
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meat lovers amirite??
Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas
Chapter 1
“Christ it’s always so goddamn hot..” Dave grumbled behind the cash register and wiped some sweat off his forehead. It was another Wednesday afternoon that was spent working for the best (not true) pizzeria ever, Pizza Hut. It was early march and even though it wasn’t necessarily hot outside, the heat inside the place was stuffy and unbearable.
It also didn’t help that they had hot pizzas being cooked, going in and out of ovens that let out little bursts of heat whenever they were opened.
“Yeah it’s even worse now that the air conditioner’s broken-“ “AND THAT WE’RE- SORRY I’M, COOKING HOT ASS PIZZAS!” Karkat cut off John, who was mopping in the front, with a yell from the kitchen.
“Stop complaining and get back to work, doughboy!” John shouted back. “DON’T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!” Karkat yelled and the two were about to start their usual bickering.
“Guys wait, shut up there’s a call coming in.” Dave shushed the both of them and picked up the phone while Karkat grumbled to himself.
“Hi this is Pizza Hut, what can I get you?”
“Yeah hi! Can I get 3 pi-“
“Wait, for pick up or delivery?”
“Oh, uh delivery but yeah can I get 3 pizzas? One pepperoni, one sausage, and one meatlovers.”
“Alrightt… anything else?”
“10 breadsticks and 20 Cinnabons?”
“ Damn- I mean- ok anything else?”
“Uh.. yeah so like…”
They paused and he could hear murmuring in the back.
“Yeah?”
“Can you um.. can you hehe- send your uh, cutest delivery boy?”
…?
“…Haha what.”
“That’s it ok bye!”
The call ended and Dave just shrugged off what he just heard as another one of the harmless pranks he’d hear as someone working the phones and finished putting in the order.
He looked over to the keys that were for the delivery car before thinking, ‘hmm.. it’d be nice to stretch my legs and get some fresh air’ and then snatched them up, swinging them around his finger in a cool nonchalant manner.
“Heh John guess what?” Dave called to John who was now wiping down the windows.
“Yeah?”
“I just got a call requesting “the cutest delivery boy” you know what that means?”
“Uhh.. no?.. what..?”
“That means you can’t go.” Dave snickered to himself and went to the back while John just yelled out an offended, “What’s that supposed to mean!?”
———
“Ugghh!!” I screamed into a pillow right after I clicked the end call button while my friends just laughed at me. “Hey! You forgot to order wings!” Terezi complained. “Oh no! I’m not calling again!” I told her while I felt my own hot cheeks. Roxy, the evil witch who was the one that set me up to humiliate myself, giggled next to me, “Oh my god! Haha! At least he seemed like- chill about it?” Roxy patted my shoulder as I just sunk deeper into the couch, pouting.
“C'mon that’s a good thing! Means it probably won’t be that awkward when you open the door!” “WHAT?” I snapped my head to look at her in surprise.
“Well.. think about it! You’re the one who called! You should open the door.” Nepeta chuckled from her spot on the carpet. “NO??? That means I shouldn’t have to answer??!” I whined as I shook the little cat girl by the shoulders. “Chill your motherfuckin’ grill little mama… it’s not that serious.. besides, if you play your cards right, you might be able to hit it off with pizza boy and finally land a boyfriend or some shit..” Gamzee said also from his spot on the carpet.
“I don’t think I’m getting a boyfriend from this Gamzee..” “I bet he’s gonna be ugly anyways.” Terezi snickered before going back to chewing on one of my pillows ew.
“Well it’s nice to be optimistic right!? A knight in shining armor-“ “You know damn well no pizza delivery boy is a knight in shining armor.” Roxy laughed while Nepeta pouted, “Well we’ll see when he gets here!”
———
About 15 minutes later, the doorbell rings and I get practically shoved to the door while the others hide behind a corner to watch. I pat down a few stray hairs- why am I so nervous? I’m literally never gonna see this guy again, I might as well rip the bandaid off, open the door, give him money, grab the pizza, wait.. wait wait wait - I hung up before he could tell me the price. Ugh now I have to have a conversation with him- oh god fucking damnit..
I open the door and right as I’m about to speak my voice cuts out. Okay, the dude isn’t devastatingly hot but he’s fairly cute, which is wayy more than what I was expecting from a Pizza Hut delivery boy..
“The cutest delivery boy is here.” He says with a smug tone, presenting himself like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.
Oh.
Oh god eugh ..
He’s a prick…
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remidraws ¡ 2 years ago
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WAHH Thanks for tagging me!
Three ships- hmmm I had to think about it tbh I’ve been into self ships for awhile but I was really into DaveKat for a bit there i also like Rosemary too! Fellow homestucker I see 👀
Favorite ship ever- right now it’s sun/moon x reader solar lunacy got a death grip on me
Last song- dead walk by Redhook!
Last movie- demon slayer mugen train. Had me tearing up
Currently reading: I’m juggling a load of ao3 fics but I just caught up to Cryptid Sightings by naff
Currently watching: blue exorcist! Just started it
Currently consuming: a large coffee all cream and sugar with a splash of coffee
Currently craving: sushi! Haven’t had any in too long
tag your it @art1sty @here-2suffer @celticwolfie @kelociraptor @muzzlemouths
hi!
thank you @doriangrayofficial for tagging me !!!! (tag 9 ppl you wanna get to know more muahahaha)
three ships: soapshipping, macden, whatever the fuck ephraim winslow and thomas wake had going on…
favorite ship ever: soap boyz (also cringe)
last song: safari song by greta van fleet
last movie: down in the valley (still facing the repercussions) 
currently reading: i don’t read it’s kinda embarrassing………
currently watching: iasip <333
currently consuming: diet coke and dried mangos
currently craving: nerds gummy clusters ooo yum, always craving some sleep
tag ur it –> @lukerhemmings- @filmcrawler @funnycomputer @chloriina @edwardnorton4ever @ikaeboy @nei-neighbor + anyone who wants to do this!!! also feel free to ignore <3
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maedaex2combo ¡ 2 years ago
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Y/N: Self-Insert yourself into the Homestuck Epilogues
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—————————————————————
Pairings: Dirk Strider x Reader (Mostly platonic / One sided)
Warnings: Mentions of suicide, Angst, Homestuck Epilogues plot
Word Count: 10.4k
Summary: After not hearing from your best friend Dirk for a while, you decide to go check in on him. For some reason, you feel like this isn't going to be the same feels-jam talk you two normally have. The air is different. Something is happening.
A/N: Okay first off, please know that this story is based directly on the plot of the Homestuck Epilogues. It’s supposed to be right before the Candy/Meat timelines split and take place. I know it’s literally in the title, but just to be safe bc I know how some people feel about it. Secondly, I project a lot to write my fics so the backstory about Y/Ns feelings for Karkat and Dave are very self-indulged. Accidentally became kinda important to the plot. My bad. Thirdly, please forgive me if Dirk seems out of character at all. This is just how I felt he would’ve been before he became like the ultimate Dirk or whatever tf goes on in the epilogues 💀. Anyways. Again, tread lightly if heavy topics like suicide are triggering for you. It gets kind of intense. I just felt like this boy needed some comforting when I was reading all those chapters. OKAY IM DONE NOW. Enjoy!!!
—————————————————————
“DIRK!” your voice shouts pointlessly at the closed metal door in front of you, for the umpteenth time. You’re banging at the door unapologetically, like you have no shame, which you don’t at this point. Not when it came to your best friend, and trying to get him out of his self-inflicted depressive/dissociative episodes. 
This episode in particular had been especially hard to get him out of. Dirk had a habit of shutting his friends out when he got to feeling a certain way, and not even letting them in when they came to check on him in person. He seemed to have a soft spot for certain people, but even they couldn’t always get through to him. You included, as well as Jake, Jane, Roxy, and Dave. But, usually you were more invasive and better at tearing his walls down when he built them up. The amount of times you pried your way into listening to a Jake or self-villainizing related rant from Dirk, WILLINGLY, was impressive at this point. Lets be real, Dirk doesn’t open up about his feelings on the usual. All raw and feels-jam like, like your other friends do. 
In summary though, his little shut-in episodes did little to keep you out of his life.
However, he hasn’t been answering your messages for weeks, actually maybe a month now. You haven’t been good at keeping track at this point. He doesn’t ever ignore everyone for this long, especially you. Now that you’re here, and he’s not answering the door, it’s honestly starting to worry you. What could he be doing??? Is he even home? There’s no way he could be…..
Nah. 
He’s just in there being all dreary right now, you know it.
“DIRK OPEN THE DAMN DOOR OR ILL FIND A WAY IN. YOU KNOW I WILL!” You continue banging on heavy metal. You can hear it echo into the chamber behind it, assumingely empty unless Dirk is a literal fucking dickhead. Which he is. But you give him the benefit of the doubt. Looks like you’ll have to find a way in. 
This is really annoying. More than usual. Of course, you don’t ever mind putting this much effort into Dirk. He’s someone you care about very much, so this type of thing just works like clockwork for you. You have a desire to be there for Dirk in a way you feel he needs someone to be. It’s probably inconvenient for him most times, but you try to ignore that intrusive thought. 
Right now though, this is especially annoying because you’ve been trying to contact Dirk for weeks about your own personal issues. It’s always a back and forth of issue-sharing with you two, as friendships should be. But honestly, your life isn’t super eventful, not as much as Dirks somehow. So, you don’t usually have all that much to rant about. Now, the one time your life feels like it’s going to shit and you REALLY need him, he decides to swan dive straight into a pool of “fuck everyone, especially (y/n)” and dissolve into it like a damn spoonful of salt.
That analogy was awful, you can’t even come up with clever things anymore, your head is so disoriented. You launch up into the air with little to no grace at all, so fast that you forgot about the metal hood hovering over the front of the studio and smash your head right into it. Fucking OW. 
You’re silent for a moment, absorbing the pain like when you stub your toe and you just stand in shock for a minute straight. Then, after a due moment of silence, you let out a loud aggravated groan of pain and annoyance. 
“UUUUAGGHHHHUGHH!!!”
Yeah that’s basically how it would be spelt out, I guess. 
Using all the annoyed force your body can muster, god powers and all, you punch through the orange-tinted window in front of you. Not physically, with your hands, but with a sheer force wave of strength you just pushed out upon throwing your fists out and down in front of you as you yelled out. The window cracks and shatters, the whole action being very anime-like. 
Wow.
That was kinda a lot. Maybe chill out for a second? I mean, you’ve been known to do some pretty crazy and powerful stuff back in your Sburb days, fighting enemies and all. But there was no reason to unleash that on Dirks poor window. You know he’s gonna have to reinstall that now, and it probably won’t be of glass this time.
Nonetheless, you float inside, accidentally cutting yourself on a shard still intact in the window frame. You hiss a little at the cut, but it doesn’t stop you. You’re back to being set on finding Dirk. 
It doesn’t take long to find him, of course. You enter the largest room in his studio down on the first floor, down a long hallway, basically the center of his place. This is where he keeps most of his materials and works. It could basically be a big high-ceiling living room, and you’re pretty sure it was once decorated like one, but now it’s covered in metal, tools, junk, etc. You find him drilling away at whatever’s in front of him, back turned to you. 
You casually float down from the balcony above, most of the frantic anger from earlier out of your system now that you’ve found him. And he’s okay.
“Yo. Did you hear me banging at the door or are you deaf now?” You say, half joking, but also a little genuinely.
He doesn’t look at you when he responds, ever focused on his work. He stops drilling to be able to talk at normal volume, and to switch to another tool. “Of course I did. You’re quite loud, I don’t know if you noticed.” 
You roll your eyes. “Oh, okay. Just wanted to confirm you are as much of an asshole as I assumed you were.” You’re still hovering an inch above the ground as you glide over to face the front of him.
“Oh please, you’ve been very aware of my asshole-ness long before you even met me face to face.” 
You laugh a little at this. It’s true, in a way. Even before you knew this timelines version of Dirk, Dave would always rant to you about his Bro. So you assumed he would be an asshole way before you even really met who you’re looking at right now. 
“You’re right. But how do you know that by ‘assumed’, I meant that in recent tense and not one that dated back to my pre-teen years?” You shoot back.
You know he would usually like your comment, but he doesn’t laugh or react much at all.
You frown, because he’d normally have a witty comeback to a stupid question like that. But the conversation seems to have cut off there, when he doesn’t reply for a while and continues operating. It stays like this for a bit, slightly-uncomfortable silence as you stare down at him and he doesn’t look back. You finally slump down, into a criss-cross sitting position in front of him while he works. You stay this way, the only sound echoing the room being made from the burning metal, and you wait for him to be done with this piece before you nudge into his personal life. It’s the respectful thing to do, you know how serious he is about his mechanic works. Whatever he’s doing is probably of some type of importance.
You watch him carefully use a… a uh…. Damn what is that thing called? That little fire-like tool that’s used for welding? A welder? I don’t know and I can’t be fucked to search the internet for it. You know what I mean. He’s sweating just slightly on his freckle-spotted arms from the heat, and you try not to linger on his mussels for too long as you examine him right now. He’s wearing his wielding mask, unfortunately, so you can’t see his face. The eye part is shaped like his shades, and you can’t imagine how that’s practical at all. What a dork. But not like John Egbert adorable-like dork. Dirks a dork in a cool admirable way. It’s hard to explain. 
Another while goes by like this, shrouded in a more comfortable silence this time. You don’t look at him the entire time you wait, eventually you find yourself staring off into hallway behind him, chin in your hands. 
If you (the reader) haven’t picked it up by now, you obviously have a thing for Dirk. But you try not to acknowledge it most of the time, and you’re pretty sure no one knows about it. It kinda conflicts with your feelings you’ve had for Dave since you met him, and your feelings for Karkat you developed not long after spending time together on the meteor. It’d be weird to like Dave and his bro right? This bro, not his actual timeline bro obviously. Yeah, it’d be strange. You must have a thing for the Striders, you guess. But you try to push it into the back of your mind as often as possible. Dirks just your good friend, he’ll always be a friend to you. You want to be there for him because you care in a PLATONIC way. Of course. Even if you did acknowledge these feelings and act on them, he’d most definitely turn you down for various reasons. You know him too well. This is how the last 7 years have panned out, and it was only a few years ago that you even came to acknowledge your feelings that I just said we’re choosing not to acknowledge. 
Moving on.
“I’m assuming you broke one of my windows to get in. Do I have to go and fix that now?” He says, toneless. You cant even tell if he’s really upset.
“How’d you know?” You ask innocently.
“Aside from it being the most obvious way of breaking in besides picking my lock, which would be impossible. Remember when I said you’re loud?” 
You giggle a little. Yeah you guess theres no way he couldn’t have heard you, even though it was up on the second floor, down the hall. “Okay yeah, I totally busted your window, dude. Sorry about that. It was a mistake honestly, but you kinda deserved it for blatantly ignoring me!” 
“I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just busy.”
“Dirk. Busy with what? You haven’t answered me in like a month.” The conversation suddenly gets pretty confrontational without you meaning to make it so.
“I haven’t? Doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.” 
“Well it has.” You cross your arms, looking up at him “I really needed to talk to you! And I was really worried.” 
“Why would you be worried?” 
You frown at this, again. You’re not exactly sure what you were worried about. There were some specific worries that you wouldn’t say to him out loud, that come with having any friend as depressed as Dirk tends to be. They didn’t have to make sense, but they were always at the back of your mind.
“I don’t know. I just worry when you don’t answer for a while. You’ve never gone that long without texting me or calling me back.”
At this very real statement, Dirk doesn’t respond. He probably doesn’t know how to at first. Then, he pulls off his helmet, revealing his pretty face to you once again. You almost let out a sigh of relief. You just really love to look at this guy. His shades are on still, having worn them under the mask like a DORK. 
“Well, I’m totally fine so there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?” This is his best attempt at comforting you right now. You’re still not impressed. 
“I can see that now. But it would’ve been nice to know like a week or two ago.” You would look away to reinforce that you’re upset, but you can’t stop looking at him, while he’s assumingely making eye contact with you behind his shades. You’re trying your hardest to push back thoughts again.
He finally looks away and pushes himself up to stand, walking over to the pile of metal on the couch. “Hey don’t go getting all sentimental with me now. Starting to sound like Jake.” His voice feels off from how he normally talks, like he’s hollowly trying to say something he thinks he would say. “He’s actually been breathing down my neck all week, I’ve thought about blocking him at this point.”
You roll your eyes x2 combo. That last sentence definitely sounded like him, it’s one you’ve heard a million times. He never does it. This is good though, you can segway this into getting him to open up. 
“Jake, huh? You’re still talking to him? Didn’t you say you’d cut him off like- a million cut-offs ago?” 
“Yeah.” He picks the piece of metal up off the couch, knocking a few pieces next to it over onto the floor. “But I could never actually cut him off completely, you know that. With all the arrangements we have and whatever. I just meant for a little while so maybe I could get a fucking second to breathe.”
You nod. Fair enough, you guess. You still think it’s funny how much the tables have turned with them. Since Dirk used to tell you how he was the clingy one back when Sburb was still active. “How come he’s still bothering you so much? I thought he had gotten pretty distant from you in an attempt to get over you or something?” 
“I mean yeah he was like that, but lately our show’s been getting even more popular. Plus, with Jane’s upcoming announcement about the presidency, I’ve been trying to add more elements to amp up his popularity.”
You didn’t even think you could make Jake anymore popular than he already was on earth C, and you already knew of Janes presidency plan thing. Dirk told you a while ago, and you’ve tried so. SO hard not to tell Dave and Karkat yet, per Dirks request. “So why does this make him bother you more?”
“I made him pretty ambitious about the new season. He’s got all these ideas and plans he’s been shooting at me. Haven’t been responding obviously, which makes him bug me more.”
“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you don’t talk to your friends for long periods of time, Dirk. The messages start to pile up. I wouldn’t call that ‘bugging’. He’s probably been messaging you a normal amount, and you’re just behind on responding.” 
“No no, you’re not friends with Jake like I am. Trust me. He has been giving an absolute fucking earful to me in text. Assuming there was an ear actually listening, and a mouth replying.”
“You’re not even reading the messages?”
“No.”
“What if it’s important?”
“I would know if it was anything that important, trust me.”
You sigh and lean back on your hands. Your arm stings a little and you suddenly remember the cut on your shoulder that you never tended to. Dirk didn’t even notice. Something inside you feels disappointed for some reason. “You’re really full of yourself, yknow that?”
“Yeah, I know.” His response is quick, without hesitation. You know he does. He self-loathes about it at least once every time you guys talk.
“I just wish you’d at least shoot me a text before you disappear for weeks being like ‘Hey! just so you know, I’m about to fuck off to not exist for a while! Don’t worry im not dead or anything!’”
“I’ll make sure to do that next time.” He says sarcastically, coming back over to where he was sitting to add the new piece of metal to his project. 
You groan, it almost feels like a growl. That makes you think about Jade. You groan again. “Can you just tell me what’s going on? This obviously isn’t like your other episodes which don’t really happen for more than maybe like a week at a time.” 
“We’re calling them ‘episodes’ now?” He asks, looking over at you, but still keeping his hands busy. You swear you can see him smirk a little. 
“Well, that’s what I call them. Sorry. That’s probably rude, I just don’t know how else to describe when you get like this.”
“Like what?”
“Reclusive? Distant? I’m assuming you haven’t been in contact with anyone this whole time.” 
“Yeah, I guess. It’s not a big deal though, you guys all have lives to be living, I don’t have to be out there all the time.”
“Out there? Dirk, sometimes I just want to talk to my friend. You can stay all shut in your studio, but the least you could do is answer me via text???” 
He’s back at work, mask down, attention to his project now. But you weren’t done yet.
“Dirk.”
He doesn’t answer. He’s avoiding the conversation so you don’t investigate further. Again, this is clockwork. 
“Dirk.” You insist again, standing up now. 
The cut on your shoulder is bleeding down the side of your arm now. “Can you please just tell me what’s wrong this time. Even if there’s nothing going on, you know that just talking it out DOES actually make you feel better. And I LIKE listening to you talk.”
He flinches a little at this, stoping his wielding for a second, but not any longer. He goes back to ignoring you.
You sigh. This is probably going to take a while. You start to walk down the hall towards the bathroom to find a bandaid and clean up the blood. 
When you’re far enough away, Dirk looks back in your direction, thinking that maybe you were leaving. A twinge of guilt flickers quickly in him, but he ignores it again and turns back to his project.
When you come back, you feel a bit refreshed. You had time to clear your head slightly. You decided that if he’s going to ignore you, you’re just going to wait until he HAS to talk to you. He can’t let it be silent forever, and you’re not leaving until he gets something out. Not like you’ve got anything better to do.
You move past him silently and over to what you’re pretty sure is a nice recliner chair, under all the cloth and metal. You start taking the metal off and placing it aside. This catches his attention, and he almost asks what the hell you’re doing, until he realizes what the hell you’re doing, and decides it’s not worth starting up a conversation again. 
Once all the metals shards are off the chair, you dust it off with your hands and take a seat. You just stare at him for a bit. When that soon gets boring, you lean back into the chair with a sigh, closing your eyes. Maybe you’ll take a nap.
It’s silent (aside from the wielding) for so long that you really do start falling into sleep. The sounds of him working were lulling you into relaxation for some odd reason. You can feel your consciousness just about to be pulled from under you when-
“So… what was it you needed to talk to me about?” Dirk asks from across the room. You hadn’t noticed he stopped working for a bit. The sound of his voice snapped your eyes open for a moment, but when you see he’s not even looking at you, you go right back to closing them.
“I just needed to rant about some stuff, maybe get some advice. But I don’t really think I should be having that conversation with you right now. It seems like you probably got your own stuff to sort out.” 
Dirk shrugs, but you can’t see anyways. “Not really. I mean, kind of. But you came here to see me, you might as well tell me instead of leaving this awkward silence while I work.” 
“I didn’t think it was awkward. But I didn’t come here to rant to you, I came here because I was worried.”
“Okay, sure, whatever. But you might as well tell me now that you’re here. I don’t mind.” 
You sigh. Should you really start this conversation? Would it be selfish to dump all your bullshit on your friend when he’s clearly going through it, even though he won’t talk about it? But he is asking for it at this point. You didn’t even bring it up. 
“Well?” He’s looking over at you when you open your eyes again. How long has he been looking?
You sigh again. “Alright… I’ll try not to drag it out too much.”
“Are you sure you’re capable of that type of self control?” He asks sarcastically.
“Oh, shut up.” you say, but you’re smiling. This man and his smartass. “Alright, well-“ 
And your rant begins. I’ll explain what the rant is about because I don’t want to have to type ours and dirks every action out throughout the whole length of this long conversation. You can just assume he’s listening intently, because he is, for the most part.
Overall, life on Earth C hasn’t really been all that great for anyone as of lately, that’s a given. It’s perfect here, sure, but perfect can only be perfect for so long, before it gets extremely boring. This is amplified x1000000 when you add in the fact that most of you are immortal. Forever is a long long time. However, on a more personal level, there’s a lot going on.
First of all, you’ve lived with Dave and Karkat since you got here. The three of you were best buddies on the meteor together, and decided to stick together after, even despite plenty of money to get your own places. You feel you kind of dug yourself into a hole with this one. Because while living with your best friends is so fun, you’re also not an idiot. You and everyone else on the planet can see the thing Karkat and Dave have for each other. And the fact that you have a crush on both of them, makes this not only awkward, but also painful. This whole situation isn’t new though. In fact, Dirks heard an earful about it for several years. The first year or so of living with them was great, then it backfired. You took it upon yourself to go on a lot of trips, some with Jade and Jake, some alone. You started getting into pottery and went around selling pieces, random art experiments. You tried to convince your two antisocial roomates to go sometimes, but you’re kinda glad they didn’t. You probably needed the distance. Eventually you moved out, only about a little over a year ago. You felt almost guilty, like your presence was keeping the two of them from being together (That definitely wasn’t it though, as Dirk reassures you. They’re both just dense and stubborn.) 
For the past year you’ve struggled with separation issues. Everyone knows you always liked to be with someone all the time. Though your trips alone were freeing and refreshing, you enjoyed the feeling of coming home to someone, or two someones. It hurt, spending the nights in your big empty home, lovely as it was. You had people over plenty, but it was always the nighttime when everyone left that got to you. You developed insomnia, dark circles under your eyes that won’t go away. This isn’t really new news either, but newer than the last. 
The CURRENT issue at hand, now that we have background story, is where Jade comes into the mix. Jade is a lovely girl, and you love her to death. The two of you hang out on many occasions, though you may not be as close with her as with others. You enjoyed her energy and attitude, it was contagious. But lately, she’s been… putting herself very closely into Dave and Karkats lives. Not that she wasn’t already around them a lot, she definitely was over pretty often. But it seems like ever since you left, she’s been there basically 24/7, like she lives there now. Not only that, but the boys have told you how she’s been making uncomfortable advances towards them, and isn’t hiding how she would like to be with the both of them seriously. Now… it’s not necessarily that you’re jealous. (Dirk gets a kick out at this. And by a kick I mean letting out a snort and ALMOST breaking into a chuckle, to your momentary annoyance.) But it’s especially frustrating for many reasons. Putting aside the obvious reason that you have the same feelings for them as she does. She’s basically ruining everything you gave up to try and help DaveKat happen. You moved yourself out of the equation to make room for maybe some progress, and she moved right in after you. They both love Jade as a friend, but you can tell that her advances make them uneasy just from the couple times you’ve witnessed it. You’re afraid she’ll ruin it for them. 
“So, you’re definitely not jealous?” Dirk asks, obviously being sarcastic. 
“Of course I am. I won’t deny it. I’m just saying it’s not the ONLY reason I’m upset about it.” You respond defensively.
“Okay. I mean, that makes sense. But I think you’re mostly just upset with yourself.”
You’re open your mouth to retort, but you stay quiet for a moment. “…You think?”
“Yeah. To me, it sounds like you’re mad at yourself because leaving them caused you to self sabotage into a life you’re not satisfied with. And now Jade is over there going after what she wants and you’re upset you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same.”
You’re a little offended by the accuracy of his blunt words. There are some things you need to defend though. “Okay well, maybe you’re somewhat right-“
“Somewhat?”
“-BUT, I only didn’t go for it because I knew they didn’t feel the same, and I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship. Or worse, their relationship.”
“How do you know they didn’t feel the same?”
……
How did you know?
“Well… I just thought it was pretty obvious. They just don’t act with me how they act with each other. You can just like… feel the different energy, I guess.” 
“But how would you know for sure if you never even went for it?”
Silence again. 
“…I don’t know…” you shuffle awkwardly in the chair, looking down at your lap and playing with your hands. “…So you think I should’ve done what Jade is doing?”
“Oh, definitely not.” He responds almost immediately. “She’s definitely gonna fuck their shit up.”
Your head shoots up at this, shocked. “WHAT?! But you were just saying that I should have gone for it!”
“Yes. But honestly I think you would have gone about it in a less uncomfortable way. And even if they did turn you down, or like- weirdly wiggle out of the situation like they do. Then at least you’d have a straight answer. But you didn’t ever bother trying at all.”
“I-“
“-AND furthermore, I think that if you had gotten a straight answer, it would’ve given you the closure you need, and you wouldn’t have to keep trying like Jade seems to be set on doing.”
It hits you now. You don’t know why you’ve never thought about it like this. You always just assumed their feelings. Even if you had confessed to them one time, you could’ve gotten that closure you didn’t realize you needed. Now it’s too late. They’ve already got too much tension on their relationship, adding you in the mix would be chaos. This is suddenly very troubling, you’re starting to get into a depressed state of mind again. The one you’ve been stuck in for weeks, as well as Dirk probably has for reasons still unknown. 
“I….” You relax your hands in your lap, and lean back to look up at the ceiling. “You’re right. I should have at least tried.”
“Didn’t I tell you to a ton of times before? I always thought that a sincere heartfelt confession from you might actually help push their relationship forward, even if they didn’t reciprocate.” 
“Yeah… I just never wanted to. I was so sure they’d be repulsed at the idea.”
“Ouch. Repulsed? That’s a new word for the situation.”
“Yeah, I guess I always felt like that deep down though. I mean, Karkats super harsh and distant. And Dave’s super aloof and distant. So, being vulnerable about your feelings for them just feels… extra vulnerable.”
“Yeah. It definitely wouldn’t be an easy relationship to navigate. Honestly maybe you did yourself a favor.”
You sigh at this. It certainly doesn’t feel that way. 
It goes silent again for a little bit, but this time neither of you find any discomfort in it. Dirks been working still, but doing something more quiet now. Connecting wires or something probably. You’re not really sure what it is he does. 
You remember something he said to you several sentences ago.
“Also… earlier you said… that I caused a life that I’m unhappy with…” you speak, sounding more dejected that you have today.
“Mhm.”
“Well. I don’t think that’s true.”
“No?”
“No, not really. I mean, yeah it definitely caused me some additional problems, sure. But Dirk…” you look down to make eye contact with him. He stops to look back at you, from behind the shades. He’s resting his arms on his knees, face stoic, fully listening. 
“I don’t think… I’ve been happy with my life.. in a long time.”
The sentence hits Dirk harder than maybe it should’ve normally, almost as if breaking something down. His face finally changes, from just being a stone-cold expression, to a slight frown, his features relaxed. It’s not an expression of pity, really. He’s sympathizing. 
Most everyone of the sburb kids probably feel this way. Things are just not as great as you might have though they’d be at the beginning of starting an entirely new universe. There’s just this terrible lingering empty feeling, that no one really talks about out loud. But it feels different hearing it from you. You always tried to be a little optimistic. You’ve been unhappy many times, that’s just normal human emotions. But you’ve never expressed being unhappy… with your life as a whole? Or accidentally admitted that you’re also depressed. 
The confession hits you hard as well for some reason, even though you’ve known it as a fact for quite some time. You’ve never outwardly admitted it. Suddenly you’re feeling warm wet tears run down the sides of your cheeks. They surprise you. When did you start tearing up?
Now they won’t stop, despite your frantic hands that try to wipe each one away. 
“Sorry… I… didn’t meant to get so emotional all of a sudden! Haha..” you’re sniffling a bit between your words, and trying to force a smile to make things less serious. Dirk just stares at you as you try to pull yourself together. “I just can’t help.. but think like… wow! I’m really going to live… potentially forever… and I’m not even enjoying the beginning… what’s 50 years from now gonna feel like? What’s 500 years gonna feel like? Will I even be me anymore at that point?” You’re just rambling now. You’ve went so quick from a normal rant-sesh to such a wet sloppy mess (ew). You’re no doubt embarrassed, and trying to talk in a casual manner that will maybe make you forget that you’re sobbing in front of your cool best friend or maybe crush, while he stares at you uncomfortably. Why did you even think coming here was a good idea? You’re in no place to help him. You just needed him to help you. You are selfish.
“Im- Im sorry, I’ll stop.. just give me a sec-“ you’re cut off suddenly. A distantly familiar feeling. You’re quick to go from feeling alone and pathetic, to warm and secure, as you’re pulled into an embrace with Dirk Strider. These hugs are not something you get to feel often. You didn’t even hear him walk over. 
You’re pulled out of your intrusive thoughts immediately. You feel safe, and comforted. In a way only he’s ever been able to make you feel. Despite all the bickering, and smart ass comments, you really loved Dirk. He always knew how to talk to you and handle you, with just enough care, even though sometimes you craved more. (Give a dog a bone, right?) But not because of the hug alone, no. It’s what’s about to come after this. This is it. The clock is moving, it’s in motion.
He pulls back only after he’s felt you settle down and go quiet. “I know how you feel. You’re not alone, you know that.” 
You nod, too flustered to look him in the face, so you look to the side, staring at his funny little shoulder tattoo. “I feel guilty about it though. Earth C is so perfect. I should be really happy, shouldn’t I?” 
“Nah. Nothing is ever perfect. Even though we literally created Earth C, I wouldn’t call it perfect. In fact, we’re probably about to get so fucking far from it.” 
You look at him and tilt your head. “What do you mean?” 
He pulls back again, standing up, turning to grab a chair sitting in the corner of the room. He carries it back over and sets it down in front of you, your eyes follow him the whole time. He sits on it the opposite way you’re supposed to, legs around the back of the chair, resting his arms on the top. The way a cool guy sits. You look at him, attentive. Ready for him to lay it on you. 
“I just seriously doubt that anything that’s about to happen will turn out very good. Our years for living a ‘normal’ life are already pretty much past at this point.” 
Okay, now you’re really confused. “Dirk you’re not making any sense. What’s going to happen that’s so bad?” 
He looks at you for a moment. He definitely isn’t intending on sharing with you any information of any importance, but you don’t know that. 
“I don’t know yet. John has to make a decision first.” He says nonchalantly, looking more stoic than usual.
You don’t respond, waiting for something else. But that’s it.
You can’t help it, you start laughing. What could that possibly mean?
“John makes a decision?? That’s it? What’s the choice? To nuke or not to nuke the planet??” You’re still giggling at this thought, though kinda morbid. 
Dirk isn’t laughing. “Ha ha. No, it’s nothing like that. It’s hard to explain. But the jist of what I was saying before, is it’s just that none of us are really meant to live a normal life on Earth C. Think about it. A bunch of immortal gods, of totally different upbringings and outlooks, and even species, all living on one little planet. We’re bound to fuck shit up one day.”
You’ve stopped laughing now and take a second to think about this. You’ve never really considered it. “Yeah… I guess now that you say it, that sounds kinda bad. We could’ve done with a few more planets in the system honestly.” 
“No, it’s not about the number of planets. Even if we all had our own planets, we’d end up going to war and shit with each other one day. We’re just not meant to lead normal lives.”
You frown at this. Why would friends go to war with each other? Granted, not everyone was super close, but we all fought to make this universe, why would we tear it apart? 
“I think you’re oversimplifying it. Not all of us want to be dictators.” You roll your eyes and cross your arms. You definitely aren’t happy about Janes plans, Dirk knows this.
“You subtly talking about why you don’t like Jane and the way she wants to lead just proves my point. And anyways, It doesn’t matter. We don’t have a choice in what we are. And what we are, is gods. We’ll have to ascend one day.” You search for a hint of irony in Dirks face, but he’s dead serious. Wow.
“Ascend??? Dirk what the hell are you talking about?”
It’s quiet for a moment. Dirk catches himself about to tell you too much about what has been fucking his brain for months, or more like years at this point. You can tell his silence is a troubled one. 
You reach out a concerned hand to place on his arm. He flinches a little. “Dirk… please tell me what’s going on. What are you talking about?” 
He can’t look at you. His head stays in place, but he’s avoiding eye contact even though you can’t tell. There’s a lot of thoughts going through his mind right now. Not all of them are about his ultimate self that is inevitably going to take over one day. Some are about you. And about the outcome of this timeline. For a moment he feels sympathy for all his friends. But there’s not much else I can tell you about what he’s thinking. Not now.
“I just… don’t know how much time I have left.” He says, still having not moved, but his eyes watch the clock behind you.
“How much… What? Dirk… Are you sick or something?” You are rapidly trying to understand his cryptic way of explaining to you, but it seems you’re falling short. 
“Not physically.” He pauses and actually lets out a slight chuckle, putting his gloved hand on his mouth. You bask in his slight-laugh, he’s really so charming. More than he could know. “God that sounded so emo.” 
“Dude, I don’t sound any better. We’re both being emo, it’s fine.” You smile back at him, removing your hand from his arm. You feel a bit of tension leave your body that you didn’t notice was there, the sound of his laugh ever like a cure to your stress. 
He nods. There’s just so much he can’t tell you, you wouldn’t be able to understand. And he didn’t want you to either. He didn’t want to put that burden on you. There was only one person he could give that burden to, and he still wasn’t sure when he’d have to tell her. 
But there were some feelings he knew he could vaguely talk to you about.
“But no, I’m fine physically. It’s just… I don’t know. I guess I’ve been having the same thoughts you have. How long can this all really last? Who will I be hundreds of years from now? What if I don’t even recognize myself anymore?” He pauses for a moment, and you watch him frown as he thinks of something. “I definitely won’t.”
You don’t dare interrupt. You just sit and listen, attentive, the best you can. When Dirk starts opening up, you hardly say a word until he’s finished. 
He goes on about how he’s been feeling especially useless and exhausted lately. Talking vaguely about his potential and his purpose, and that right now just felt like a stagnant period while he waits. But what if he doesn’t want to have some greater purpose, or some ultimate potential destiny? He’s always just wanted to be able to live a happy, normal life with his friends. He didn’t get to grow up with other people and have relationships. Getting here to figure out that he really never would get that normalcy, sucked the hope out of him. At least, maybe he could’ve got a while if he had made the most of the last seven years. He can’t even say they flew by, they dragged by painfully. He says he’s always just felt like he’s been watching his friends live through a window, communicating behind the glass, but not actively joining them. 
You soak in every word like you’ll need to know it for a test. You nod every now and then, and quietly “mhm”, to show you’re listening. You can feel he’s still not done yet. 
“I mean honestly (y/n), what’s even the point of it all? You feel it too right? There’s no way we’re headed toward a future that’ll be of any real purpose.”
You decide to finally speak up since he addressed you. “Are you saying we’re in a doomed timeline?” You ask, enabling him to explain more.
“No, it’s nothing like that. I’m not even sure doomed timelines are possible anymore, they’re just… timelines. But we’re definitely not going to be living happily ever fucking after.” 
You’re giving him that sympathetic look now, but he reads it as pity. His head reflectively looks away. He’s starting to get aggravated. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. I don’t even want to go through with this anymore. I just wish it’d all end.” 
Woah. You’re eyes widen a little at what he’s implying. “Dirk… don’t say that-“ 
“What’s even shittier about this whole thing is the fact that even if I really wanted to end it, I couldn’t. None of us could. Except maybe the trolls. We have to wait for something just or heroic to happen and decide our fate for us. We’re stuck to live in some shithole timeline with no way out. I have no choice. I either subject to being a depressed shut-in, or leave my humanity behind to pursue something above this existence. How pathetic is that?” 
You’re not sure exactly what he’s going on about, but your instinct immediately is to comfort him. You take his hand. He doesn’t flinch this time, but he doesn’t look at you either. 
“Hey, just calm down for a second, okay? I promise you it doesn’t have to be like that… I don’t know what’s due for this timeline, and I’m not sure if you do… If Rose told your something or.. I don’t know. But I always know that whatever life throws at me I’ll…” you hesitate to say the rest of the sentence. It’s a little cheesy, it almost makes you cringe for a second. But then he looks at you, clearly anticipating the rest of your sentence. You push through. “I’ll know I’ll be able to get through it, because you’ll be here.” 
He’s doesn’t say anything, but his eyes are wider now. He has no idea what to say at this intimate sentence. The two of you have been close for a while now, but you never really express it verbally. You just enjoyed each other without having to say it usually. The lack of response eats at you, you have to say something else since he clearly can’t think of what to say to that. You let go of his hand too, thinking maybe it’s making him uncomfortable. 
But he watches your hand as you pull it away. 
“And I’ll always be here for you! I’ll always be here to help you. I mean… if you ‘left’ in whatever way that means I’d…” You play with your hands again, the both of you staring at them, thumbs in a tug of war. “Just… please don’t leave, okay?” 
You both look up at the same time to make eye contact, but it’s obviously more intense for him. He can’t promise you that. He’s told you he won’t already, but you refuse to understand him.  
You’re both quiet, and you anxiously bite your lip again at his lack of a reply. Why isn’t he agreeing? 
“(Y/n)… have you ever thought about trying to take your own life? Just to see what happens?” The sudden dark inquiry sends your heart into your stomach. Why is he saying this? Your face looks terrified, but he doesn’t say anything, still looking. 
“Dirk.. W-what are you say-“
“Have you?”
You swallow hard. This is something you REALLY don’t like to talk or think about. It’s something you’ve never spoken to anyone about. 
But the answer is yes. Of course. You think about it a lot recently. It started when you started living alone. Those restless nights, wondering what the meaning of it all was. You wondered if maybe the clock of justice would consider the theft of your own lifespan a worthy enough cause. Why would a godtier with no will to live be worthy of such a title? It wouldn’t even makes sense, like more of a punishment than a reward. In a sense, you killed yourself to get this title. Why couldn’t you do the same to remove it? 
Maybe you could. 
You’ve been quiet a suspicious amount of time now. It tells Dirk his answer, but he still waits for you to admit it. His social cues are still really not the best sometimes, even after getting used to social interaction. You’re clearly uncomfortable.
You’re looking at your lap again, but your hands are still. You’re too deep in traumatic thought to even want to move. “…Of course I have.” Is all you say after a while.
“Have you tried?” 
His question sounds genuine. Actually curious. 
“No. I wouldn’t dare. What if…”
“It worked?”
“…Yeah…” 
“Then it’d finally be over.” 
When you look up, he’s still staring at you. You’re still scared, your heart breaking more with every word he says, but he seems calm now. As if he’s decided something in his mind. The more the clock ticks, the more anxious you get. What is he thinking?
You’re just about to speak up again, try to say something to calm the conversation, or just to change it to something less triggering. But he suddenly stands up. You look up at him, face getting more worried. 
“Dirk?”
He’s not looking at you anymore. And without a word, he turns around and begins to walk away. 
“Dirk?? Where are you going?!” You automatically stand up when he just continues to get farther away, turning to go down the hallway.
You follow him, quickly.
“Hey! Wait! You can’t just leave the conversation like that!”
You watch him turn into the bathroom, and shut the door before you can get to it. You jiggle the doorknob, but of course it’s locked. You’re panicking a bit now. This panic causes you to bang on the door without thinking, feeling a bit helpless. 
“Dirk!!! What are you doing in there?! Please just wait a se-“
“Relax.” You hear him calmly through the door. You silence immediately hearing his voice. “I’m just using the bathroom.” 
Your face automatically turns a slight pink. All of the panic and anxiety turns into embarrassment in the blink of an eye. You must’ve been overreacting. You do that sometimes. 
“O-oh….. Okay. Sorry… I’ll leave you alone then.” You’re cursing yourself in your mind as you start making your way back down the hall. 
Halfway through though, you stop suddenly. Taking a second to think about what just happened, to see if you were really overreacting. You come to the conclusion that you definitely weren’t, now that the embarrassment has subsided. Why would he just suddenly lock himself in the bathroom after your intense discussion about suicide? That is definitely concerning! 
You feel better having justified yourself. You then come to the rational decision that you’d give him 5 minutes and then check on him. Hopefully you’re jumping to conclusions, and he’s just really bad at ending conversations like usual. You take a direct turn into the kitchen that was right next to you. You flip the light switch on and take a seat at the table. What an exhausting conversation you just had. That was not how you were expecting that to go at all.
You look around. The kitchen isn’t excused from having a bunch of junk in it. There’s spare parts and random doodads laying all over the place. Wow, did you just think the word “doodad”? Who are you, Jake? Sometimes being here alone with him made you feel like it. Like Jakes replacement.
You decide you’re just gonna tuck that repressed thought back deep into your brain. That’s not even possible, you and Dirk aren’t even… I mean he would never… Wait didn’t he just tell you earlier that you shouldn’t assum…. OKAY THATS ENOUGH. 
The clock ticks by with the speed of a damn snail. You’re just sitting there watching it. You don’t even have the energy to check your phone to distract yourself. One minute has gone by and you’re waiting on the second. You’re also listening intently for any concerning noises, but you’re pretty sure the walls in this place are very thick. You couldn’t hear him drilling or anything from outside earlier, and the hallway isn’t that long.
You’re staring at a piece of hair in your face, blowing it up and watching it fall back down, passing the time. Three minutes now. Your stomach grumbles, and you decide to check Dirks fridge for inventory. When you open it up, it’s literally just like 10 half gallons of milk(?). This is clearly equisprites doing, but what has Dirk been eating??? Does he ever go out for food? Does he alchemize it? Who knows. You sigh and sit back down. 
Just as you’re counting down the last minute, you hear the bathroom door open and you look over to the doorway. After a few steps Dirks frame passes right by without glancing at you, even though it was obvious you were in there with the light being on. You sigh x2 combo and stand up from the table, walking out and back into the hallway to follow him. 
He’s sitting back on his bench in the living room, working again. You watch him, about 6 feet away. You don’t even know what to say, and you take your time trying to think of something. 
“Are you… okay?” Is all you could come up with. 
There’s no response. You can see he’s assembling his drill with a different top. He’s gonna drown you out. 
“Dirk. It’s alright if you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You can just-“ the drilling starts “-… say that.”
You look dejected. It’s a sad scene honestly, if you could see it like I am in my mind right now, and I hope you are. 
He’s never been this distant before, especially not after opening up so deeply like that. His feelings were like a one way ticket each time, once you’re in, you’re in. But he’s forced you out after already letting you in. It didn’t make any sense. You look at the clock on the wall. It stopped working. When did that happen? 
“Is there anything I can do to get you to talk to me?” You ask as a last resort.
Unsurprisingly, no answer. You give up. Quite frankly, that whole conversation tired you out too, emotionally. If he doesn’t wanna talk about it anymore, that’s fine by you. 
“Do you mind if I stay over at least? Is the guest room still open?” You ask, expecting an answer, since it’s unrelated.
However, still no answer. You don’t know why you thought you’d get one that time. You decide to just take his silence as a yes. You’ve stayed over his house plenty of times before. A lot of the time when you guys would hang out, you’d talk or do something into late hours of the night, and not realize how late it’d gotten. The guest room might as well be yours at this point, since you’re pretty sure no one else ever stays over. Other than Jake, but he’ll just sleep in Dirks room. Obviously. And Dave has his own room here for some reason. 
You take yourself up the stairs, and you gaze at him for a minute from the rail before you make your way to the room. This whole day has made you sadder than you already were, you think.
When you’re in the room, you don’t even take in the interior. You’ve seen it a million times. It’s just a bunch of subtle weeb decor. Annoyingly aesthetic. You faceplant onto the bed and kick your shoes off. It’s not even that late, but you’re so exhausted from that interaction and from not getting much sleep the night before. Insomnias been hitting you hard lately since you didn’t have Dirk. It’s been especially lonely. Somehow being in Dirks house lulls you right to sleep immediately.
You sleep like a baby. A full 8 hours, something you haven’t had in a while. When your eyes flutter open it’s pitch black, only the light of the bedside clock glaring at you. 2:00am. Wow, it’s early. Or late, you guess?
You don’t know what to do since you feel so awake now. You could probably sleep a little more? You decide you wouldn’t mind some milk right now before you go back to bed. Assuming the white fridge liquid is milk. You’ll take your chances.
You make your way down the stairs, and as you’re descending you start to remember todays conversation. You cringe a bit. The whole thing was so emo and embarrassing on both of your parts. You’re pretty sure you made him uncomfortable towards the end and that’s probably what scared him-
Suddenly your thoughts are cut off. You hear… A voice. Dirk? It was only quick, but you see a small light from the hallway leading to the kitchen. You follow it quietly, curious. 
When you see him, you freeze at the sight.
He’s leaning over the kitchen sink, head hanging. He’s facing away from you, and you’re kind of hiding in the doorway anyways. The ambiance is coming from a small nightlight over the counter. You wish you could see his face. You hear a quick sniffle.
You’re deciding whether to say something or walk away. It seems like he’d want to be alone right now. Or does he need someone more than ever? He’s been so hard to read. You always think you interfere too much with him, but you can’t help it. Then, you hear him let out a small, quick sob. Probably the source of what you heard earlier. He sounds like he’s trying to hold it in, even though there’s no one around from his perspective. Your heart breaks. You have basically no control over what you do next. 
Suddenly, Dirk feels a pair of arms wrap around his abdomen, a warm body leaning into his back, embracing him. He jumps slightly at first, but relaxes into it after a minute. He’s silent now. No sniffling, no sobs. 
“I’m sorry.” Is all you say once you feel him relax. 
It’s silent again. All you can hear is the clock behind you. 
“You don’t have to respond, I just can’t stand to-“ 
“I tried it.” He says, cutting you off. He sounds defeated.
Your eyes widen a little. “You tried…”
“To kill myself. Earlier.” He states way too bluntly.
Your heart sinks. “Oh…” 
Silence. 
“It didn’t work.”
“Well, I can see that.” 
“Because I couldn’t actually do it.”
You pause for a moment.
“Huh?”
“I couldn’t really go through with it a hundred percent… I have to see this timeline through. It’s my burden to bear.” He grits his teeth and grips the sink. You feel his tensing.
“I’m sorry, Dirk.” It’s all you can think of to say. You don’t want to bother asking him to clarify anymore. You have no idea what he’s going through or what to suggest. This is all you know. You hold him tighter, and nuzzle a little bit more into his back.
He relaxes again, to your surprise. And he lets go of the sink with one hand to place it on your arm. You can’t see his face right now, and you wish you could. The two of you stay like that a little longer. After a minute or two you can feel him crying again. 
You’re sure it’s hard for him. Not just what he’s going though, but being vulnerable about it. 
Suddenly, you feel yourself start to tear up too. The two of you share a cry almost silently, not having to see each other in this emotional state, but still holding on and having someone there. 
“I promise it’ll be okay.” You say, breaking the silence. “Whatever you’re going through, we’ll go through it together. I’m a god tier too. I promise I’ll be here for you.”
It honestly feels like this made him cry a little harder as you feel him shake a little more. 
He raises his hands up to his face to wipe away any evidence of emotion under his shades. Then, to your surprise again, he breaks out of your embrace, only to turn around and embrace you again straight on.
You’re surprised for a moment, but when it settles in, you hug him back with all you have. And maybe it’s just you, but no hug between you two has ever felt this… passionate?
“Sorry I’m being like this. It’s just been hard. I’ve never been this emotional about it, even though I’ve known it for so long. I think it’s because it’s getting closer. And because you’re here. Probably why I’ve also been ignoring everyone.” He confesses. “So there’s your answer. I just didn’t want you to see me like this. I’m sorry, again.”
Again, you have no idea exactly what he’s talking about, and you make a mental note to maybe ask about it again another time when you’re both more stable. But you’re just committed to comforting him to your best ability right now.
“You don’t have to apologize, Dirk. You can tell me anything, seriously. I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do to help you. I wish I could.”
You feel him sigh slightly, but it seems more like relief than frustration or anything negative. 
“You should really get some sleep. Have you been up this whole time?” You say, changing the subject in concern for his wellbeing. You wonder what his nights have been like all this time you haven’t been talking. 
“Yeah. But I’m fine. I don’t really have a sleep schedule anymore.”
“Well, looks like we’re starting now then. Cmon.”
He doesn’t complain or object when you pull back and take his hand to walk out into the hallway. The two of you make your way upstairs and into Dirks room. He doesn’t say anything, and you couldn’t possibly know what he’s thinking right now. About you. 
You stop right after walking in the doorway and let go of his hand.
“Well, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning, kay?” You say, giving him as much of a genuine smile as you can manage. You start walking past him to leave.
But then his hand grabs yours, stopping you. You freeze for a second, and turn to look at your friend again.
Your eyes widen at the sight when your eyes meet his. He had pulled his shades up to sit on his head, and for the first time you see his eyes, along with the rest of his face. Granted, it’s pretty dark so you can’t see the color well, but you can’t help but think they’re beautiful, just like the rest of him. His face also just reads ‘exhausted’, and tired from all the crying and emotion showed in the last however many hours. The two of you are quiet, staring at each other like this for a moment. 
“Would you… wanna stay?” He says, not breaking eye contact, but still seeming slightly unsure about it? 
“Stay… like, stay over? Yeah.. I-I was just gonna go to the guest r-“
“No. I meant in here.”
You’re blushing now. Good thing it’s dark, you guess. “In… your room?”
“Yeah.”
“In your bed?”
“Mhm.”
He seems much less embarrassed by this than you, of course. You’re extremely flustered now that you’ve made sure he meant what you think he meant. Wait… does that mean he wants to sleep with you or like SLEEP with you??? Oh god-
“Not anything weird. I just mean like, we can sleep in the same bed.” He says, almost like he read your mind. “It just feels like we both kinda need some comfort right now. And it feels weird to have you sleep in a different room after… Yknow everything that just happened. You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable with it.”
“No!” You say, embarrassingly fast. You clear your throat a bit, not making it any better. He smirks at you slightly, tilting his head. Lord have mercy. “I mean… That actually sounds nice, yeah.”
He smiles in response, and you bask in the sight. Dirk Strider smiling at you, fully exposed so you can see all his beautiful features at once. You’re actually really happy right now. You haven’t felt this happy in a while. Which is kinda ironic after todays conversations. Why does he feel like a cure to your pain every time?
With his hand still holding onto yours, he guides you over to the bed. He puts his shades on the bedside table. When you both lay down and get under the covers, he turns to face you. Your heart is pounding like a million times per second right now as you turn to look back at him.
“You’re blushing pretty hard right now. You okay?” He says, and you can definitely see that slight little shit-eating smirk. He’s really gonna tease you right now. How could he even tell you’re blushing?
“Shut up! I’m fine… You just caught me off guard..” You defend.
“What? Did you think I wanted to have sex?” You would think he’s teasing since he’s still smirking, but it also sounds kind of like a genuine question.
Hearing him say it out loud while looking at you with those intense eyes makes you blush harder, like your face is actively working against you. “NO! Well… I mean I wasn’t sure.” You have to look away for a second. “And sleeping in the same bed just feels intimate in its own way, even without sex.” 
He nods understandingly. “Yeah, you’re right, this is pretty intimate I guess.” It’s silent for a moment then. “…But …I don’t know. It just feels right after everything that happened today.” He looks away now, facing the ceiling. 
This grants you to look back at him. You take in his beauty, the moonlight from the window being the only luminescence to light the scene. Even the curve of his nose looks perfect, making an impressive outline of his side profile. You just can’t stress to yourself enough how you love seeing him like this. You wish you could do it everyday. You’re smiling without realizing it. 
“You can take a picture if you want, it’ll last longer.” He says, glancing at you while keeping his head in place.
You blush again and shove at him lightly. “Fuck you!” You say, but you laugh afterwards. He smiles in response. If only you could stay this way forever. 
You turn to face the ceiling as well. After that, it feels like it’s the end of your conversation, and you both start trying to fall asleep. You’re laying there for so long trying to sleep, you can’t remember how long it’s been. You did get a lot of sleep earlier so it makes sense that it’s a little hard now, plus being in bed with Dirk isn’t helping. Your heart is still kinda racing. 
What happens next almost gives you a heart attack. You feel Dirk snag his arms around your torso, his face leaning into your arm. You’re frozen, and you’re not sure if he’s sleeping or not, so you don’t say anything.
As if he feels your discomfort, he speaks, in a low tone “Sorry. Is this okay?”
“Mhm…” you respond quietly, and carefully move your arm up and put it over him, and he automatically leans into your side now.
Now it’s really hard to sleep, so you just open your eyes. You look down at him and take in the rare and perfect sight of Dirk Strider sleeping. He looks so peaceful. Unbothered, undisturbed by Earth C and all your stupid post-Sburb problems. You wish you could make it all go away for him. 
You start to run your hands though his hair softly, and he hums slightly in response. Still slightly awake, but you can tell he’s on his way out. You smile at how natural this feels now. 
You finally feel yourself start to fall asleep as well. 
“I think I’ll stay here for a while.” You say quietly, but Dirk is already sleeping. And you follow suit with him again as soon as you say that. 
The two of you stay intertwined for the rest of the night. 
END
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eyzoa ¡ 2 years ago
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Yandere Dave || Guardian Angel || Listen Here
Back To Life - Mother Mother
Devil Town - Cavetown
I Killed Someone For You - Alec Benjamin
Cigarettes & Feelings - The Haunt
Loved - FeiN
Father - The Front Bottoms
Take Me To Church - Hosier
700 Club - Nicole Dollanganger
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