#my turn to not be here for that nightmare

[autisticmudkip]

Donate to save Iyad's family!

My friend Iyad Alanqar @eyadnasir-6 and his family have been through unimaginable trauma and grief. After their home was destroyed by an airstrike, they fled to Al-Shifa hospital, only for the hospital to be bombed as well. They had to flee to southern Gaza, and now live in a tiny tent, without proper access to food or shelter from harm.

They have been subjected to regular bombing around them. Iyad described it as, "Our lives have turned into a living hell, surrounded by fire and phosphorus everywhere, as if we are trapped in a nightmare from which we cannot wake up." Due to the phosphorus and smoke, Iyad has developed respiratory issues, which worsen each day.

Iyad's family has lost all of their dreams and goals in life. His father's company was destroyed, losing their source of income. Iyad's dreams of continuing his studies to become an accountant were demolished when his university was destroyed.

Now the Alanqar family struggles just to have their basic needs met. Access to water is far from their tent, resulting in even Iyad's young nephews having to carry large water jugs long distances so they can have the water they need. Food and medical care are extremely expensive and difficult to access, and with Iyad's father's company destroyed, they struggle to make any money to pay for these basic needs.

€3,885 / €40,000

Iyad and his family rely on this fundraiser for survival now, as they have lost their jobs, their homes, everything they once called their own. However, donations have been slow, and they have only reached about 10% of their total goal!

Please, the Alanqar family needs your help to survive. They need money to purchase food and medical care for Iyad's respiratory issues. Iyad deserve to be able to breath. His nieces and nephews deserve to have food to eat. Please, share and donate. Help Iyad and his family live! Anything you can give makes a difference in their lives.

Number 24 on the @/gazavetters spreadsheet

Shared by @/nabulsi here

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[affableramen]

yandere genshin men trying to make things right between you

angst, mildly dark themes ayato, neuvillette, pantalone, capitano, dottore, alhaitham

note: trying a new genre.

Neuvillette

Yandere Neuvillette kept forcing you into marriage after your relationship just got established. You asked him to give you some time to think over such radical and responsible change in life, but he was adamant to your pleads. He wanted everything here and now proven officially on the papers. You spent some nights crying because to think that such gentleman-like and solitary person like Neuvillette would force you into marital relationship was eerie. The desire to possess you officially seemed to blind him completely and he went from a loving gentleman to an almost insanely addicted man who did not accept a refusal.

It was your break-time at work when Neuvillette suddenly came up to you. It was odd at first - the judge putting away his duties to meet you seemed almost unbelievable, but remembering how assertive he was in the relationship with you it might have been close to the reality.

“Can I have a moment of your time, love?” He asked you, his hand not reaching to touch you but his gaze was heavy on your face.

“Of course.”

Not longer after the two of you were sitting in the cafeteria - a curious choice for a private conversation. Although you did not deny you seemed much more comfortable in a public place rather than face-to-face with him.

“About our marriage…” Neuvillette started, his fingers grazing over his glass of water.

“You already know my opinion”, you answered with no emotion. The time to play nice unfortunately came to an end.

But the next response from Neuvillette kind of gave you goosebumps:

“If I was too harsh on you, I beg of you to forgive me. I have a habit of grasping something dear to me too tightly, and I’m afraid that I hurt you more than I could possibly imagine”, he took a pause for a breath and gulped a sip of his crystal clear water. “I genuinely need to know whether or not you still harbour any pleasant feeling towards me?”

“What are you saying? Of course I do, Neuvillette—I admit you were unacceptably rough on me the past few weeks, but it would make me a poor lover if it were to stop me from harbouring affection to you.”

The judge sighed in relief, and then his expression became serious again.

“I would love nothing more than for us to marry, but I realise the circumstances of pushing you too much. Tell me, dear, if you no longer want to proceed in intimate acquiantance with me.”

You shook your head - seems like he was not hearing you. You then took his hand in yours and spelled it again, frankly:

“No, I want to be with you, wholeheartedly. And the marriage proposal, I shall accept it too.”

Pantalone

When Pantalone kidnapped you for no specific reason, days turned to weeks. You almost forgot about the existence of sunlight as he kept you there like a pretty little porcelain doll for his own amusement—or whatever his nasty reasons might have been.

The last time you tried to escape his gloomy, mysterious castle-like home, you were severely punished for your “bad behaviour”. Blood dripped down from your chin as you were sitting on the floor of a dark hollow room, chained and bruised by his henchmen. Perhaps he considered it too tacky to touch you with his own hands.

And then he entered. You didn't even want to look at his unapproachable, icy-cold eyes, and simply turned away, your eyes shut and hidden from him.

“How rough you look”, he said with his usual tone which was cold, but at the same time smooth like butter.

You were dehydrated and hungry, that’s for sure. You wanted nothing more than a warm fuzzy blanket and sweet tea, and forget this nightmare forever.

“When was the last time you had a proper meal?” He asked. He knew you never ate his food because you’d consider yourself indebted to him. And you did not want to take anything from this man.

Your face went deadly pale and bewildered when Pantalone dropped on his knees before you and started freeing you from your shackles. His hands were shaking wildly, you could witness how poorly he mastered the lockers due to his stress.

Yet without a single doubt, with no longer time to lose he wrapped his arms around your waist to carry you. His clothes were a little stained with the snow, and a bit of freezing touch made you shiver.

“I will never do this to you anymore. Forgive me. Please, forgive me.” His words that used to be spoken as an order now were slipped from his lips as a request. 

You were laid in the warmth of the sheets of your own home. The familiar surroundings brought you joy and comfort you never knew you’d forgotten so easily.

“My butler is cooking a dinner for you in your kitchen.”

He watched the whole time you were eating, guarding you and seeing how desperately you were filling your stomach up. When you finished eating, there was one loud slap—against Pantalone’s face, by your hand. In a normal situation, he would be so angry and furious that the earth would shake of his abhor. But now he was simply taking it.

"I know. I should never have treated you like this. I ignored your wishes and violated your privacy. I’ve done the worst crime to you—I took your freedom”, he touched the red mark blooming on his cheek from your unexpected punishment. “I wanted to obtain you so much that I ended up hurting you instead.”

Ayato

He was rich to his fingertips. In his world, the only thing he could not have, but wanted to, was you. You found yourself working as his secretary, aesthetically pleasing and always efficient. But Ayato was ruthless; he could never be satisfied, he was always unhappy. The requirements to you were growing day by day, and keeping up the standards seemed an impossible task. His moods were changing like a thunderstorm.

It was a regular day when you were performing your duties that you felt someone’s presence behind your back. Ayato was not exactly above lurking so he made his presence known after you turned to face him. He did not expect you to turn so rapidly and ended up with his breath tickling against your face.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I have been too demanding and controlling. My actions driven by raw possessiveness inflicted undesirable effect upon you”, Ayato’s words died away, though the expression on his face became even more grim and grave. “You do not deserve such treatment, any of it.” 

You nearly dropped your working papers as you stared at him. Was this man really sincere? How long has he been overthinking about your relationship? It took you just a few seconds to gather your composure and strike him with an indifferent glare.

“It’s always so easy and costs no trouble for you, rich people. You just take what you want without considering either the outcome or other people’s feelings. You see people as things, belongings in your possession, and you never have enough.”

At that, Ayato became even more tense, his expression that was mainly seen by the most of people as sweet and gentle, now was an embodiment of darkness. Nevertheless he nodded to you.

“What should I do for you to forgive me? I’m not going to lie and say that I did not think about how harmful my attitude might have been to you for the past month. What think you? Do I even stand a chance?”

“Fat chance”, you chuckled under your breath. The laugh was almost too bitter rather than sarcastic.

Ayato took your hands in his, his black gloved thumbs rubbing against your skin slightly.

“You’re like a poison to me. A very addicting one. And the more I see you work for me, the more I want to have you by my side. Not just at a formal event…” he bit his pale pink lip for a moment. “I’m starting to feel as if I’d like to see you out of work circumstance, and the thoughts of such impropriety are enough to drive me utterly insane.”

You reciprocated the light squeeze that came from his hands, however yours was less obsessive and more gentle. 

“It is a very dangerous thought, Ayato.”

“Oh, I can be a very dangerous man. For you, that is.”

Capitano

You were walking in Capitano’s garden, feeling yourself like a beautiful bird in a golden cage, but in fact you were a princess in a beast’s castle. Once you saw his real face, you kept having nightmares about his skin rotting appearance. This man was scaring you to the bone, and every time you met him, although not very often, you felt how demanding and heavy the gaze of his icy blue eyes was.

You did not see him often, but once a while Capitano requested (no, ordered!) a private dinner with you. The rooms were dimly lit, his loyal butler making preparations to the highest standards as usual, and you - wearing the most luxurious of dresses you’d only be able to peek at in the past. But your face was the odd one as it beared no smile on it. You were gravely terrified by this man who had claimed you as his. And even though you slept in separate rooms, you could not brush the feeling as if he owned you; well, he kind of did, since you dwelt in his mansion. 

Per usual, you were having a dinner with him at about eight in the evening when Capitano finally spoke. His tone was filled with assertiveness and power, yet the way he was eating, the movements of his hands were elegant enough to remind you of an excellently-educated prince.

“Y/N, I need to speak to you.”

You shivered when you heard him, and you let go of the fork. The jingling sound spread across the room which put you even in an unnecessarily bigger predicament.

“Yes, sir?”

Capitano hummed - he put his utensils away and looked as if he was carefully choosing his words which was not a habit of his. This Harbinger often talked exactly what he thought and was known for his bluntness. Capitano never beat around the bush and was always straight to the point, and this was one of the personality traits of his that made you feel conflicted. It was both terrifying and worth of respect.

“I want you to stop being scared of me. I want you to see that there is more of me than a horriffic, ugly old beast.”

You gasped: did he just used those unflattering words to himself? It felt so odd and so frustrating.

“What feelings do you want me to harbour for you, given our unusual circumstances?”

There was a long pause before Capitano made a sip of his red wine and suggested the following:

“Affection is too much, but could you at least try to be friendly with me? Don’t you see—can’t you see how hard I’m trying to make your life with me less unbearable?”

Affection… friendliness… is that what he really needs from you?—you think.

“I’m a prisoner here, I cannot imagine how I am supposed to show any warm feelings towards you. It would be fake and stupid.”

“Then make them not fake and stupid.” Capitano raised from the table and stormed out of the dining room, leaving you alone in the dim light of candles.

Dottore

You woke up on the plain lab bed, still restrained but this time your pain was drastically diminished. When you opened your eyes the lights did not cut your sight right away and you realised that the room was only dimly lit. You sighed in relief - perhaps he went on a break and you had a few moments of rest from his constant analysis and experiments upon your body.

There were a few tattoos on your hands but too small to even understand their meanings. Perhaps it was something from Zandik’s past that he decided to ruthlessly carve on you.

Your happiness and sense of relief did not last long though, as the man who called himself Doctor entered the room not exactly quietly. 

“Look who’s alive. I’m glad”, he wrote something on his notes, “very glad, even.”

“What are you going to do to me next? Turn me into… abomination?” You attempted to sound sarcastic even though all your being was screaming inside. “I’m pretty sure you have not gotten your fill yet out of me.”

Dottore abruptly stopped writing and dropped his journal on the lab desk next to you.

“I think we’re finished here.”

“What?”

“I said you’re free to go”, he cut your leather restraints with one rough motion that had a vibe of uncertainty of the soul.

You looked at your hands, your body cheered welcoming freedom, but at the bottom of your heart you were perplexed.

“But why?”

Dottore did not utter a single word more, with his face buried into his other records, he turned away from you completely ignoring your presence.

You found your clothes tidy and repaired on the chair, and put them on quickly. Upon escaping the place you saw that not a single Fatui agent was preventing you from leaving. You looked at the lab once more and a pang of strange kind of sorrow appeared in your heart. Perhaps, you should pay him a visit once you’re recovered? Or was it a bad idea?..

Alhaitham

The nerdy scholar was quite possessive and jealous. He had a very curious but rather depressive personality. You thought him a quiet man until one extraordinary and terrific experience. 

Alhaitham locked a man in the library for the whole night after he saw him giving you too much attention and you happily reciprocating him. An innocent friendly conversation seemed a blunt flirt to him. He could not bear the thought you having affection to someone else who was not him. When he saw you first he realised that he wanted you to see only him, and give all your attention to him. He craved to see you wanting his company, clinging to him or even agreeing to date him. But since his personality was too aloof and he never ever attempted to simply ask you out, but kept staring at you from the side, stalking unnoticeably and gather all information about you, you never had a chance to learn of his true feelings. Behind his obsession there had to be something, as such strong feelings never came out of nowhere.

Upon seeing you chat with that guy Alhaitham grew so furious that he almost not giving it a thought just slammed the door with the poor guy in the library and left him there for the whole damn night. Blinded by his jealousy, he did not even consider how you’d feel about that. The next morning you were perplexed by the sudden disappearance of your classmate, and once the library opening time came, the student was finally released.

“How could you do this to him? To anyone?” You asked Alhaitham; it did not take much time to learn whose fault was that.

“How could I?” He asked you back, his expression grave and unmoveable as if he were not interested in a single thing in the world. “How could you spend so much time with him? He’s a total jerk.”

“Judging by what you did the total jerk is you! How could you simply lock the person up? Are you insane?”

Alhaitham’s patience started to grow thinner. He squeezed his hands into the fists so hard that his knuckled turned snow-white.

“Are you stupid? You really don’t see how I feel about you? And you keep being so nice to everyone but me. You’re obviously ignoring me.”

Bewildered, yet you finally understood the root of the case. You stared at him for a few seconds before checking if anyone was near to eavesdrop. Luckily, there was not a soul around so you spoke honestly:

“If you wanted to woo me, endangering someone was not a good idea. You did something I deem unacceptable. And such unacceptable actions will only make me like you less, Alhaitham.”

Alhaitham leaned closer, his voice was a gentle whisper.

“Right? Then teach me to woo you properly. I’ll do thousands of attempts to win you over, no matter the cost.” You pressed your hands against his shoulders to prevent him from getting into closer proximity with you, and Alhaitham, although not completely willingly, but still backed off.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT when you can't sleep

Requested? No! (But they are still open!)

Genre: Comfort

A/N: This is entirely self-indulgent because I woke up at 3:45am and couldn’t go back to sleep. For this reason, please forgive any typos or mistakes.

Seungcheol

Deeply disturbed when he finds that you are not next to him in bed. Gives it a few minutes, thinking you might have just gotten up to go to the bathroom or get some water, but when the time ticks by, he gets up to find you on the couch, watching TV. “Baby, what are you doing up?” He’ll ask concerned, glancing at the clock. When you say you woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, he’s plopping onto the couch with you, making you curl into him. You feel bad because he needs his sleep, but he’ll brush you off, saying he’ll stay up with you any night. You do eventually doze off in his warmth while reruns of some sitcom play on the TV and he’ll carefully carry you back to bed.

Jeonghan

He feels you tossing and turning for what feels like hours. He’s tired and maybe even a little bit irritable when he touches your back, asking why you’re still up. He immediately feels bad for his irritability when you say you’re sorry, but that you had a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep. He’s tugging you into his side, patting your head in a ‘there, there’ sort of motion, asking you to tell him all about it. It becomes clear that you’re not going back to sleep anytime soon, but that’s okay, because he’ll just lie there next to you and talk, no matter how drowsy he is. 

Joshua

Seems to have a sixth sense about when you get out of bed. You’ve barely got your slippers on before he’s asking where you’re going. When you say you just can’t sleep, he looks at the time, which is somewhere around 4am. He shrugs, getting out of bed as well, despite your insistence that he needs his sleep. He starts the coffee pot and gets a skillet out to make breakfast and you’re resigned to the fact that you both are now up for the day. He doesn’t have any complaints, not even when you both are dozing on the couch by 2pm. 

Jun

When he realizes that you never actually got to sleep and are just laying in bed scrolling at nearly 1am, Jun simply takes the phone out of your hands and puts it back on the charger. “Play a game with me. Eye spy with my little eye…” You have to laugh because, well, it’s totally dark in the room now. But you play along because everything in your bedroom is familiar to you, even in the dark. You’re kind of touched at how aware of the little things in your room he is, even if he doesn’t live here (yet). Like he knows that you left a blue sweatshirt on the back of your vanity chair, or that there is little green detailing on your jewelry box. You doze off by about the tenth round and Jun keeps quiet after that. 

Hoshi

He comes home late from practice and finds that you’re still awake, tossing and turning, and he’s concerned. When you say you just haven’t been able to settle down, he thinks for a split second and says, “Well, I was about to shower. Come with me, maybe the warmth will help.” There’s absolutely nothing suggestive about the idea. He even washes your hair for you, letting you relax as he scratches your scalp for way longer than was probably necessary. You’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Now showering before bed, especially with him, is a regular occurrence to wind down. 

Wonwoo

When he rolls over in the middle of the night to find that your beside lamp is still on and you’re still reading, he glances at the clock and then raises an eyebrow. “Must be a good book,” he mumbles. When you hum and tell him that it’s actually not, but you just can’t sleep, he’s sitting up next to you, leaning against the headboard. “Just how bad could it be?” He doesn’t acknowledge the ‘can’t sleep’ comment out loud, plucking the book from you and reading to you. He has to admit, the book does kind of suck, but he’s relieved to see that you’ve dozed off to the sound of his voice within a couple chapters. 

Woozi

He knows your sleeping habits and also notices some of the things that don’t help it. But he’s hesitant to correct you, so he tries correcting these bad habits by correcting them in himself. Say you’re hanging out late with him while he works. The first thing he’ll do is turn down the caffeine at a certain point, saying he wants to actually get some sleep tonight. The second thing is that he’ll subtly rush to wrap things up quickly for the night so both of you can get home at a decent time. This technique won’t work every night because sometimes you don’t follow his lead or it’ll just be an exceptionally late night for him, but both of you tend to get better sleep when you keep a routine and cut the caffeine. 

DK

Didn’t you see this coming? The moment you say you can’t sleep, he’s serenading you. Sometimes it’s sweet and soft with the intent of soothing you, and sometimes it’s goofy and animated with the intent on making you lighten up when you’re particularly frustrated by your bad sleeping habits. Sometimes you scold him to rest his voice, but he Will. Not. Be. Stopped. He’ll sing entire albums for you until you’re sleepy again, so don’t test him. 

Mingyu

Prepare to be cocooned the moment you say you can’t sleep. He’s so sweet and he also doesn’t work out for no reason. He’ll literally wrap you in the blanket and hold you tight against his chest, talking sweetly about what might be bothering you. Even if nothing in particular is bothering you and you just can’t sleep, that’s fine too. He’ll stroke your hair and keep you warm until you’re ready to sleep. 

Minghao

He absolutely thinks it’s stress. He notices the pattern - when you have a lot going on a work or in your family life, you’re extremely restless. Like Woozi, he might make it seem like it’s for him when he says he wants to try out a new bedtime routine. He likes meditating and decides to do it before bed, asking you to join. Then, when you both are done, he pushes you towards the bedroom, following you with two cups of tea. It doesn’t work right away, but the longer he keeps up this little routine with you, the more he notices that your shoulders are more relaxed and you fall asleep faster. 

Seungkwan

One night, you’re exceptionally restless and he asks what’s wrong. You complain that the street lights coming through the windows and all the city noise have been bothering you lately. He lets you be for the night - if you want to toss and turn for a while, if you want to get up, if you want to cuddle, whatever is fine with him. But the next night before bed, he hands you two small boxes, one with a brand new sleep mask and one with small noise cancelling earbuds, encouraging you to try them out. These two things will constantly be replaced and upgraded as needed as long as they seem to help.

Vernon

Might be a little dead to the world when he sleeps, but if you happen to nudge him in the middle of the night saying that you can’t sleep and you seem upset by it, he’s automatically offering to take a walk, no matter how groggy he is. Throws on some clothes and splashes his face with cold water in the bathroom so he can get with the program for you. Walks for hours if you need it - talking or in total silence, headphones or no headphones, holding hands or no physical contact at all. Absolutely does not matter to him. He’ll get back to sleep when you do. 

Chan

Another one that makes it seem like it’s for him. He’s noticed your sleeping habits and how run down you seem by it, but doesn’t address it directly. Instead, he says he read an article that described how bad blue light was for sleep and he thinks he wants to try an electronic cleanse a couple hours before bed to see if it helps him. “Are you okay with that?” He’ll ask hopefully. Of course you agree, because it’s for him! He’ll resist the urge to giggle to himself when you pass out almost immediately when your head hits the pillow on the first night of this so-called electronic cleanse. He did not expect it his little plan to be successful so quickly. 

[santaasi]

die with the smile

pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

summary: a love once haunted by nightmares finds solace in a sunrise, where promises of healing and hope turn dreams of a future into quiet, steady certainty.

warnings: !major spoiler for obx4 final!, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, establish relationship, talking about death, mention of panic attacks, no use of y/n, jj calls reader angel, english isn’t my first language

word count: 3.9k

a/n: requested by this ask. thank u for request, love <з. and to everyone else – i'm waiting for your requests too.

ᯓ★ now playing…

lady gaga, bruno mars – die with the smile

IT WAS SUFFOCATING. After everything that happened in Morocco, it felt like your chest had been crushed under an unbearable weight. Breathing no longer came easy. Each inhale was a jagged reminder of the past, a sharp sting of memories you couldn’t escape. You hated sleep, hated the moments when your mind would surrender to the dark. Every night, the desert came back to haunt you, its endless stretch of sand suffocating. You saw JJ lying there, motionless, his body a broken promise beneath the burning sky. And surrounded by the Pogues, Rafe fucking Cameron, his hands digging JJ's grave, burying the love of your life six feet under.

You could still hear your voice, a fractured thing, torn from your throat as you screamed for them to stop. You fell to your knees, pleading with them to hear you, begging them to leave him there, to not let him go. But no one listened. John B, Sarah, Kiara, Pope... they just stood there, frozen, like they couldn’t see the life slipping away. Of course, it was just a dream — your brain's cruel joke, twisting everything you feared most into a nightmare. But in the stillness of the night, when you woke with your heart pounding and the cold sheets tangled around you, it didn’t feel like a dream at all. It felt too real. Too close.

And so, for three months, you lived like this. In the hollow space between waking and sleeping, where the line between nightmare and reality blurred beyond recognition. Three months of restless nights, clinging to coffee mugs as if they could fill the emptiness, while your eyes begged for sleep. But when you did manage to fall asleep, the dreams would return, relentless, each one leaving you more shattered than the last.

It wasn't as bad as it had been in those first two months, when every moment was suffocating with fear. When you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your house, couldn't bring yourself to stop waiting for that phone call from the hospital. The one that would confirm the thing you couldn't bear to imagine — that JJ was gone. Everything had felt like a fever dream: tracking down doctors, finding anyone who could help, getting him back to Kildare, the hospitals, the bills you could never afford, the ones that now you had to face. Your parents never asked you to repay the money, but you knew how much they'd given up for it. They'd been saving for years. It felt wrong to let it go without giving something back.

And then there was that month of rehab, where the days stretched on like a never-ending ache. Sitting next to JJ's hospital bed, listening to the faint beeps of machines as nightmares still held you in their grip, tormenting you while you tried to hold onto him in the real world.

You hadn't cried once. Not in those two months. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to — weeping felt like you were digging his grave in advance. Like if you let the tears fall, you’d lose him all over again. But now, he was here. With you. Alive. The JJ you knew, the one who cracked jokes, who lived without fear, without hesitation. And you tried to return to who you were before, but it was harder than you'd expected. He made it seem so easy, slipping back into his old self, but you felt like you were still drowning in the wreckage of what had happened.

For weeks, you sat beside him, feeling his skin warm beneath your touch, hearing his laughter echo in the spaces between you. But still, in the quiet moments, the fear lingered. Every time you closed your eyes, you feared waking up in another cold bed, alone. But each morning, you’d find him there, by your side. He was here, alive, and you began to let yourself believe it, piece by piece.

Slowly, the days started to fill with color again. It wasn't easy, but it was better. Breathing no longer felt like a battle, and with each passing day, you felt yourself letting go of the haunting fear, the dread that lived just behind your ribs.

And you never left his side. Once, it had always been JJ who took the lead — who reached for you first, who kissed you first, who pulled you close. Now, you were the one to reach for him, to thread your fingers through his, to press a soft kiss to his lips or his forehead. It was like you were holding him tighter, making sure he was still real, still here.

"If I had to almost die for you to get this clingy," JJ teased one evening, grinning up at you as you curled into him on the couch, "You could've told me sooner, you know. I didn't know I had a personal koala bear all this time."

You smiled at his playful jab, though your fingers gripped him a little tighter. You tucked your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was like a song, a reassurance that he was here. That he was alive.

You were learning how to laugh again. How to joke. How to be you again. Or at least, almost. Because even though the world felt like it was beginning to make sense again, you couldn't shake the nightmares. They were still there, lurking in the shadows. Every time you closed your eyes, you feared that the night would swallow him whole once more.

But for now, he was still here. And in that moment, that was enough.

The chateau had become your sanctuary, a fragile semblance of home. But even here, in the quiet of its walls, you couldn't escape the void that followed you, the weight that pressed on your chest every time you woke up without him beside you. The comfort of falling asleep wrapped in his arms didn't seem to be enough anymore. It didn't stop the dreams from coming.

Every night, they came like a storm. JJ, dying in your arms, blood staining his chest. JJ, sinking beneath the waves after falling off the boat, reaching for you, but you couldn't reach him. JJ, spiralling off his dirt bike, tumbling into the dirt, and you couldn't save him. And then, there was the desert. Always the desert. You couldn't escape it, no matter how hard you tried.

But in the moments before the nightmare took hold, when you woke to the warmth of his body next to you, his hand resting lightly on your waist, his breath soft against your neck, you could calm yourself. You could breathe, steadying your heart before the panic could rise. He was there. He was alive. And you would cling to that reality until the night came again, bringing with it the horrors you couldn’t outrun.

JJ, of course, remained blissfully unaware. He slept soundly, his chest rising and falling in the peaceful rhythm of someone who had earned a brief reprieve from the chaos. And you — you would lie there, bathed in moonlight, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead, needing to touch him, needing to see that he was really there. That he wasn't slipping through your fingers. Over time, the nightmares began to fade. They became less frequent, their grip less tight. But just when you thought you could breathe freely, just when you thought the storm had passed, it came crashing back.

Two weeks of peace. Two weeks of deep, uninterrupted sleep. But that night, everything changed.

The dream returned. The one you feared the most. JJ, lying motionless in the sand, his clothes stained with dried blood, his body pale under the desert sun. The wind blew the sand into your eyes, blinding you, choking you, as Rafe stood above him, digging, his hands moving with the unholy rhythm of a grim reaper, burying your love beneath the earth. You fell to your knees beside the pit, the hot sand searing through your clothes, but you didn't care. You couldn’t look away. You couldn’t look away from the hole that was swallowing everything you loved. With each shovel of sand, the pit grew deeper, and with it, your heart.

The faces around you were blank — pale, cold. John B, Sarah, Kiara, Pope... they stood there, frozen, as if they were burying someone they'd never known. No tears. No grief. Just... emptiness. It broke you. It shattered you, piece by piece.

"No! No! Please! Enough!" you cried out, your voice cracking as you scrambled to your feet, your body shaking. You turned to them, your heart a fragile thing, desperate for anyone to react, to feel something. "Do something! He's not dead! JJ's not dead! John B! Sarah! Please!"

The tears fell freely, hot against your cold cheeks, choking your breath. Everything blurred around you, and all you could see, all you could feel, was his face. His beautiful face, pale and cold under the relentless sand. You reached for him, your fingers trembling as they traced the outline of his cheek.

"I love you, JJ... Please, don't leave me... don't you dare leave me," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the roar in your ears. You pushed the hair from his face, trying to pull him back to life with your touch. "Please, Jay, wake up. I love you. Please..."

The heart-wrenching sob that escaped you felt like it was tearing you apart, even as they began to throw the sand over him. As they buried him. Covered him. And the world turned dark.

Someone's hands grabbed at you, pulling you away, but you fought them, kicking, screaming, dying with him as the earth swallowed your love.

"No! Please, no!" The words tore from your chest like jagged glass, but it didn’t stop. It never stopped.

Then, a voice — soft, familiar, grounding. A warmth that pulled you from the nightmare. "Hey, hey, angel..."

You gasped, eyes snapping open, panic seizing you as the darkness of your dream lingered. The bed was empty. The space beside you, cold and vast. Your body trembled as sobs wracked your chest, but then arms wrapped around you, strong and steady. They held you close, pulling you into warmth, into the comforting scent of the sea and something more.

"Wake up... come on, angel, it's okay," the voice coaxed, his words gentle but firm, a tether pulling you from the depths of your nightmare.

You turned, eyes still blurry with tears, and looked over your shoulder. You half expected to see nothing. To be alone in the darkness. But then you saw him. JJ. JJ. His face was the same as it always had been — familiar, comforting, real. The soft smile on his lips made your heart stutter, and you found yourself reaching for him instinctively.

"JJ… you're here," you exhaled, your body relaxing, your mind calming for just a moment. But then the overwhelming relief struck you, and suddenly, you were gripping him as tightly as you could, clutching him like you'd never let go. You turned in his arms, wrapping yourself around him, pressing every part of yourself against him, trying to absorb his presence with every cell of your being. You needed to feel him, needed him to know how deeply you'd been shaken.

"I thought you were… you were… I saw…" you choked out, the words barely a whisper, breaking apart in fresh waves of tears that trembled through you. You buried your face in his neck, shuddering as his hand ran soothingly down your back.

"Shh... I'm here, love," he murmured softly, pulling you even closer. "I'm with you, and I'm not going anywhere." His hand traced gentle circles in your hair, his voice a soft balm over your wounds.

JJ knew how much you’d been struggling. He saw it in your red, swollen eyes each morning, in the tired shadows that lingered beneath them. He noticed how you would sometimes drift off mid-conversation, lost to a place he couldn't reach, as if carrying something too heavy to share. He felt it every time you’d reach for his hand, holding it tighter than you used to, grounding yourself in his touch. And he felt it every night you stayed at the chateau, choosing to lie beside him rather than in your own bed, pressing your ear against his chest just to hear his heartbeat.

JJ Maybank wasn't oblivious. He understood what haunted you, and he wished with everything in him that he could erase it. Because he knew — if it had been you, if you were the one hovering on the edge of life and death... he couldn’t even let himself think of it. You were his everything, his only certainty in a world that had never offered him much. And knowing you were hurting like this, knowing he was the reason, that was the worst thing he could imagine. It was worse than the death he’d nearly met.

And so he tried to help you in every way he could. He stayed close, always nearby, holding you tight whenever you needed it. He whispered sweet promises in your ear, spun dreams of the future for you both, reminded you every day just how much he loved you. He did everything he could to show you that he was here, that he wasn't going anywhere.

But seeing you now, shattered and trembling in his arms, feeling your tears soak his shirt, it tore at him. It was like a raw ache, a knife twisting deeper with every sob you released. You were suffering because of him, and he could feel the guilt clawing at his chest. He’d never wanted this — not for you.

As your breathing began to calm, your hold on his shirt loosened, and he shifted back slightly to meet your gaze. Your face was swollen from crying, your eyes rimmed red, and he felt a tenderness rise in him that he could barely contain. He lifted a hand to your cheek, thumb grazing your skin as he leaned in, gently brushing his lips over yours, a silent promise, as if he could kiss the fear away.

"I'm fine," you whispered, though your voice was trembling and raw. JJ just shook his head, unconvinced. He bent down, picking up his hoodie that had been lying on the floor, then draped it around your shoulders. The familiar, comforting scent of his cologne surrounded you, filling your senses, and you closed your eyes, sinking into the warmth.

"Let's go for a walk?" he asked softly, his voice gentle but insistent. You managed a small nod, slipping out of bed to follow him.

The sun was just beginning to crest over the horizon as you reached the beach, bathing everything in a soft, golden light. JJ's hand was intertwined with yours, and his thumb traced delicate patterns along the back of your hand, grounding you. The breeze tugged at your hair, the salt air filling your lungs as you took slow, steady breaths, savouring the tranquility of the moment.

When you reached your favourite spot, tucked away behind the rocks, JJ settled down, pulling you between his legs, his arms circling you. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, and you felt a soft, involuntary smile tug at your lips. His heartbeat thudded against your back, steady and reassuring, and you let yourself melt into the safety of his embrace.

For a few quiet minutes, you both watched the sun rise, bathing the ocean in warm, shifting hues. Then JJ's voice broke the silence, low and hesitant.

"You know... for a second, I thought I was going to die," he murmured, his voice thick with an emotion he rarely let himself show. "When I blacked out, I thought... this was it. That y'll would leave me there in Morocco, that I'd lose everything."

JJ swallowed, as if trying to steady himself, and you could feel the tension in his arms as he held you tighter. He’d tried to laugh it all off before, hiding behind jokes and smiles, but now — now it felt real. The memories weighed down his words, and you could hear the unspoken fear beneath them.

"JJ, don’t," you whispered, your own voice catching. You pulled his hoodie closer around you, burying your face in the soft fabric to push away the memories of that day, the endless days that followed. His arms tightened around you, his cheek pressing against your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin as he drew you closer, as if he could shield you from the memory.

"No, I need to say this… I need you to hear it," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. He took a shuddering breath, and you felt something wet land softly on your shoulder. A tear.

JJ gave a small, shaky grin and shook his head, leaning in close to murmur in your ear. "You've been with me through everything, angel. You saved me. You kept me alive."

The words settled into you, quiet and profound, and you turned to look at him, seeing the vulnerability he was baring, the weight he'd been carrying alone. You looked back at the horizon, feeling a deep ache inside, a pull that was both painful and reassuring, like your heart was finally finding its place.

You closed your eyes, concentrating on nothing but him — the feel of his arms, the warmth of his breath against your neck, the way his fingers tightened protectively around yours. You wanted to wrap yourself in this moment, to sink so deeply into him that you’d never be apart again.

"When I woke up for the first time… I heard your voice," JJ's voice trembled, breaking as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. "The way you told everyone that I wasn't going to die... the way you begged me not to... not to leave you..." His words cracked, and you felt the weight of his pain seep into your bones. He was broken, and it tore at your heart.

You intertwined your fingers with his, feeling the soft, trembling pulse beneath his skin. "I couldn't die... every time I slipped away, all I could think about was you," JJ whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "That I couldn't leave you. That I love you, and I don't want to leave you..."

He gently cupped your chin, lifting your face toward his. His eyes — red and swollen from crying — met yours, and in that moment, you saw how deeply connected you were. You were both raw, broken open, and yet, still whole together.

"I love you so much, that even at death's door, I fought with everything I had to stay here with you," he murmured, pressing his forehead to yours. His hand slid down your cheek, brushing away the tears that refused to stop falling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I put you through this, angel."

You felt your heart shatter for him, your lip trembling as his words hit you like a wave. Your hands moved instinctively to his face, cupping it gently, and you shook your head. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that life had dealt him such a cruel hand. It wasn't his fault that he had been made to suffer in ways no one should. You knew he didn't deserve this. He deserved better — so much better.

"I promise…" JJ's voice was tight with emotion, but he pressed on. "No, I swear... I will never make you go through this again. I swear it. I swear that after all this, I won't give you any reason to worry. I will always be here for you." His blue eyes searched yours, holding you captive with their intensity. The weight of his words felt heavier than anything you'd ever known. "I will be with you, no matter what. And I will build us the house you always dreamed of. A white house with big windows and a garden, where we’ll play with our dog — our dog, which we’ll name JJ Jr. And then... maybe a child, or two, or three...”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, shaking your head, though tears still lingered. It had always been a dream, a fantasy you shared with him, but now, seeing the determination in his eyes, it felt like a possibility. It felt like something you could reach out and touch.

"I'll give you the world, angel. I'll give you paradise," JJ continued, his voice thick with promise. "I'll do everything in my power to make sure these stupid tears never fall from your beautiful eyes again. Do you believe me?"

There was a pause. His gaze was so sincere, so full of hope, searching for any sign that you believed in him, in what he was offering. You felt a warmth spread through you, a quiet certainty in your chest. You smiled softly, your heart swelling with a love so deep you thought it might burst.

Without thinking, you pressed your lips to his, soft and slow. You let your kiss speak for you — every unspoken word, every emotion that had built up inside you over the months, the fear, the longing, the desperation, and finally, the relief. This kiss was all of it, and more. You poured everything into it, every promise, every fear, every hope, every part of you that you'd been holding onto for so long.

You held him like you'd never let go, feeling the weight of time slow down, knowing that in this moment, you were safe, you were here, and he was here. Nothing else mattered — just the two of you, together.

"I believe you, Jay. I've always believed you, and I will, because I love you," you murmured, your words soft as they met his lips. He responded with a deeper kiss, pulling you into him as if he could anchor himself to you, as if he, too, was letting go of something.

You giggled as he playfully knocked you down onto the sand, its warmth wrapping around you like an embrace. The sand, once so haunting, now felt soft and grounding beneath you, no longer a symbol of loss but one of hope — a new beginning waiting to be written.

JJ leaned over you, his blue eyes softened by the first light of dawn, eyes that were once wild and filled with fear but now were steady, full of promises. "I love you more, angel," he whispered, his voice like a lullaby against your skin, "and I'm not going anywhere."

He leaned in, capturing your lips again, and this time, every kiss melted the edges of past wounds, pushing away the darkness of every nightmare and sorrow you'd held. Here, with his arms around you and the sky lightening into the day, it was easy to believe in something beautiful, something lasting. You kissed him back, savoring each touch, each brush of his fingers against your skin as he held you closer.

For the first time in months, you let yourself imagine a future unshadowed by fear. A life filled with morning sunrises like this one, laughter echoing between you, the warmth of a home you’d build together. As JJ pulled you even closer, you felt a quiet certainty settle in your chest — a certainty that happiness was no longer a distant hope but a promise waiting for both of you, right here, right now.

thankx for reading <3

i was literally crying while i was writing this and i felt like this for the first time in my life. so, i hope you liked it. you can always share your opinion in comments or my inbox :3

- your santi 🪐

masterlist

[steveseddie]

night watch

for the @steddiemicrofic prompt “guard, 532 words” | rated: t | cw: none | tags: pre-relationship, eddie pov, nightmares, sharing a bed, pet names, soft boys, fluff

***

With shaky hands, Eddie pours himself a glass of water. 

Nightmares rarely leave him so rattled these days but this one was so horrifying he doesn’t think he’ll sleep more tonight.

So he sticks a cigarette between his lips, grabs a lighter, and heads outside, hoping it’ll help calm him down. 

He flicks the porch light on and that’s when he sees it– Steve’s car parked in his driveway. 

“What the hell?” 

Eddie tucks the cigarette behind his ear and walks to the car where he finds Steve sleeping in the driver’s seat.

He taps on the window and Steve jerks awake, head whipping around in confusion until his eyes find Eddie, widening comically. 

Wiping drool from his face, Steve rolls the window down. “Uh hi, Eddie.”

“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie says, leaning against the car. 

“Why are you out here?” 

“I could ask you the same thing. I came outside for a cigarette, and lo and behold, Steve Harrington, standing guard by my house!” Eddie chuckles amusedly. “Terribly, I might add, considering you were asleep.”

Steve sleepily rubs his eyes. “I usually don’t fall asleep. Guess I’m really tired tonight.” 

Wait–

“Usually?” Eddie blinks. “You’ve done this before?” 

Steve bites his lip nervously. “Every other night but I leave before anyone sees me.”

“Why?” 

“I have these– nightmares about you dying. One night when I couldn’t go back to sleep I went for a drive and ended up here, your light was on and I could see you through the window and that helped. I went back and got some more sleep. Sometimes I stay longer if the nightmare was really bad–”

“Oh, Steve.”

Steve grimaces. “I know it’s creepy–”

“Stevie, I’m not mad,” Eddie says softly, “I just wish you told me.”

“I didn’t want you to laugh!”

“I would never! Tease you a little maybe.”

Steve scoffs, but his mouth ticks up.

“Okay, come on.”

Steve tilts his head. “Where?”

“Inside. It’s fucking cold, you’re tired and my bed is more comfortable than your car.”

“I was just gonna head back–”

“Like hell you are.” 

He leads Steve to his bedroom where they both climb into bed. Eddie doesn’t know if he’ll be able to sleep, but he’ll make sure Steve does. 

“Sorry for not telling you,” Steve whispers.

“Promise me you will next time,” Eddie nudges Steve with his foot. “Sorry for haunting your dreams.”

Steve chuckles. “Not all of them are bad–” 

“No? I get good dreams too? What do we do in those?”

Steve inexplicably blushes. “This– and um, hold hands. Sometimes we kiss.”

Eddie’s breath catches. “Damn, I’m jealous of dream me.”

“You don’t need to be,” Steve whispers, looking at Eddie with molten eyes that flicker to his lips, his fingers brushing Eddie’s hand.

“Christ.” Suddenly, sleep isn’t Eddie’s priority. At least not until Steve yawns. “How about you tell me about those dreams tomorrow?”

Steve must be really tired because he doesn’t protest. “Okay.”

“And next time you have a bad dream, you come here and I’ll turn it into a good one, okay?”

Steve sleepily agrees. 

“Good, now sleep.”

“What about you?”

“It’s my turn to watch over you, sweetheart. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Eds.”

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Clone Headcanons

This has been sat in my phone notes for a while and I kept forgetting to actually turn it into a post. So here are some of my clone related headcanons (some of which have no explanation)

Crosshair is a nail-biter. When he was a cadet, his nails were almost non-existant and completely ragged. Once he had to start wearing blacks, he stopped because he couldn't chew his nails through the gloves, and he turned to toothpicks instead. He eventually worked himself out of the habit, but he will start biting his nails again if he goes without toothpicks for too long.

Echo talks in his sleep. Normally, it's non-sensical but he has spooked some of his brothers due to some slightly terrifying things that have been said while he's asleep.

Tup is non-binary.

Echo is aroace.

Wrecker has hearing loss in his left ear as a result of the explosion that scarred the side of his face. His brothers will talk a little louder if they are stood on his left, so that he can hear them better, and sometimes it takes them a few attempts to wake him up because he's fallen asleep on his right side and can't hear them very well.

Cody despises crying in front of people and will avoid it when he can. Rex is the only one who has actually seen Cody properly cry.

99 would tell the cadets stories when they were having nightmares and would often sacrifice his own sleep to make sure that they were okay. He would also name characters after the clones that he used to tell the stories to. One of the greatest honours was for a clone to be told that a character was named after them in one of 99's stories.

Dogma is allergic to tookas.

Echo has always run cold and would often sleep with socks on. He only stopped doing it because of his prosthetics. Fives is the opposite and will often sleep in as few clothes as possible.

Jesse has a scar on the back of his hand where Hardcase accidentally stabbed it with a fork.

Hunter is dyslexic and Tech would often help him during assessments so that the Kaminoans didn't find out.

Cody sleeps like the dead. He's very quiet and doesn't move around a lot, so much so that his brothers have panicked that he's died in his sleep on more than one occassion.

Wolffe accidentally called Plo Koon dad once. Plo actually found it very endearing but no-one is allowed to bring it up because Wolffe has very heavily implied that anyone who mentions it will never be found again.

Fox has a small scar just above his right eyebrow. If anyone asks, he just says he got it in an altercation and leaves it at that. No-one knows that said altercation was actually with a door that Fox walked into because he was too tired to pay attention.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 29

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,130ish

Summary: You find Logan. The two of you work on your relationship.

Warnings: Emotional, Angst, Nightmares, Injuries

Notes: I hope everyone likes this chapter! We're going to have a couple of chapters of them working on their relationship and growing. There's about a ten-year gap between X-Men: The Last Stand and The Wolverine movie, so we have some to cover!

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

Logan saw you every time he closed his eyes. He saw you every time his mutation let him feel a little drunk. He saw you every time he passed out, letting his opponent win the cage fight. You were everywhere, haunting him. But Logan didn’t mind. He needed to keep you with him somehow.

Tossing back another drink, Logan slammed the glass on the counter. The bartender jumped, turning to face the man.

“Another,” Logan mumbled, eyes unfocused.

“I don’t think that’s smart, buddy,” the bartender responded. “You should get going. It’s raining badly out there.”

“Don’t care.”

“I’m serious. You’re done.”

Suddenly, Logan was reaching across the bar. His fists grabbed the bartender’s shirt as he tugged him closer. “I get to decide that.”

The bartender swallowed nervously. “You need to go home.” 

“Don’t have one.”

“Then call someone.”

“Don’t have anyone.”

“Nothing that I can do about that, pal. I’m not serving you anymore.”

“Logan?”

Logan ignored the familiar call of his name. He shoved the bartender away and threw some money on the counter. Turning on his heel, Logan marched out of the bar, closing his eyes as he passed what he believed was an illusion of you. The rain soaked Logan quickly as he headed towards the motorcycle. 

“Logan!” You shouted after him. He simply shook his head. His mind was playing some cruel trick on him. “James!” He stopped.

“You’re not real,” he muttered. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Just another trick.”

Slowly, you walked up to him, stopping a few inches from his back. “I’m real, Logan… I’m alive.”

“No,” he shook his head. “You… you died…”

You reached how to take his wrist. As soon as your fingers brushed against his skin, his claws were out, and he was turned around. Logan’s claws pricked against your neck and side as he glared at you.

“You’re not real,” he heaved. 

“James,” you breathed out. “I am so sorry about everything… I know that I… I died. But I’m back. I’m so very much real.” 

You couldn’t completely light a fire amidst this rain, but you carefully wrapped your hand around Logan’s wrist, which was aiming claws at your neck. Slowly, you began to heat his skin up. You couldn’t imagine the demons that his brain had conjured over this last week and the toll that it had taken. Logan didn’t budge as the heat from your hand began to burn his wrist.

“Y/N…” he whispered, clearly still questioning everything.

“It’s me, James.”

“You died.”

“I know… I’m sorry.”

Slowly, his claws retracted. “This is some trick, right? My mind… I’ve lost it.”

You stepped closer, cooling down your hand but gripping his wrist tighter. “This isn’t a trick. I’m real.”

Logan’s free hand came up shakily to cup your cheek. It was clear he was still hesitant as his thumb began brushing against your skin. “Y/N…” You could see the tears swell up in his eyes. “Sweetheart?”

“It’s me, Logan. I’m alive. I’m here.”

Logan’s knees gave out, and before you knew it, he was kneeling in the mud. His head rested against your knees and he wrapped his arms around your legs to pull you closer. Your hands shot to his head to steady yourself and to try to bring him so comfort. You heart broke as Logan’s shoulders began to tremble as sobs wracked his body.

“Don’t—“ His voice cracked as he let his emotions loose. “Don’t disappear—Please.”

“Logan, baby,” you tried to kneel down, but his grip was too tight. “I’m not going anywhere.” Your fingers traced down the side of Logan’s face and gently forced him to look up at you. “I’m right here.”

With a hard tug, you were suddenly on your knees, with Logan pulling you into him. His lips crashed onto yours as one of his arms tightened, keeping your body against his as his other hand held the back of your head. Your hands found the back of Logan’s neck as he continued to kiss you so desperately, like you could disappear at any second. When the two of you finally pulled back for air, you still kept a hold on each other, with your foreheads meeting.

“You’re here…” He panted.

“I’m right here,” you repeated. 

You figured that it would take a long while before Logan could truly wrap his head around that you weren’t dead. And you would do whatever he needed for him to believe that you were real.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he mumbled. “For everything… I shouldn’t have left you anywhere, the Danger Room, the Island. I should have protected you better. I should have—“

“James,” you stopped him with the mere call of his name. “I know you’re sorry… I am, too… We have a lot to work on, don’t we?” He nodded. “At least now we have more time.”

“I’m never letting you go again.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

~~~

Logan couldn’t let you go. His hands were constantly on you, arms around you. It's how you ended up staying the night at the nearby motel instead of heading back to the mansion. Logan wasn’t ready to bring reality back, especially if this was all some cruel dream. That also meant that after the sex you two had, Logan couldn’t get himself to fall asleep. His eyes were glued onto you, looking over your freshly healed skin, memorizing every detail of your face, enjoying the warmth that your body brought. 

In the morning, the two of you headed back to the mansion, where Ororo was excited to see you, and Hank wanted to run tests. Logan didn’t like the idea of you being tested on, especially if he couldn’t be in the room. He nearly took Hank’s head off when Hank suggested that Logan wait outside. Hank allowed Logan to stay, but he was only allowed to hold your ankles. So Logan gripped tightly to both of your ankles, trying to ground himself as Hank ran tests on you. 

“There is absolutely no reason for what happened to you,” Hank stated as you, Logan, and Ororo sat in the Professor’s office.

“Could it happen again?” You asked.

“Unfortunately, I can’t answer that.”

“So those tests were for nothing?” Logan’s voice was almost as tight as his grip on your knee.

“They weren’t for nothing,” you tried to calm him. “We just… don’t have any answers to any questions at the moment.”

“I’ve got to go,” Hank said. “But I will be checking in. Keep an eye out for anything strange, especially surrounding your mutation.”

“Thanks, Hank.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Ororo said, standing with Hank. 

The two left, leaving you and Logan on the couch. You looked at Logan, who was clearly still struggling.

“What’s going on?” You whispered, placing a hand on top of the hand he had on top of your knee.

“Nothin’,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Don’t… Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out. If we are going to get better—if we’re going to get through this, then you can’t shut me out. Or this isn’t going to work.” He pulled you into his lab, burying his head into the crook of your neck. “Talk to me, Logan.”

“I can’t—“ He cut himself off. “Sweetheart, I was so… I don’t even know… I felt emotions that I didn’t even know I could. I can’t�� I can’t do that again… I can’t lose you.”

“I completely understand what you’re going through. You have to remember that I lost you at one point, too. I thought you were dead for years.”

“Shit. I forgot. I’m sorry—“

“Hold the spiral for a second. Your emotions are valid, no matter how long you felt them. All I’m saying is that I get it, and I’m here.”

“You’re here.”

You nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “We’re going to get through this. It’s going to be long and hard, but we will.”

~~~

It had been a few weeks since your ‘rebirth’, as the students started to call it. The two of you were working on your relationship, barely teaching any classes to try and fix things.

Logan’s nightmares came back in full force. He kept trying not to fall asleep, wanting to keep watch over you, but his body won over every night. You would wake up to his cries, moans, and groans. You were familiar with the drill for how to avoid his claws and how to gently wake him. Logan always felt guilty, but you never allowed him to stay feeling that way. 

Tonight’s nightmare was different from the rest. A new version of hell.

There you were, standing in front of him. It was a version of Alcatraz Island, only you were in Jean’s place and weren’t begging him to kill you. But before he knew it, his claws were in you. 

Logan’s eyes snapped open as he sat up with a roar. His eyes weren’t focusing, though he could tell that someone was in front of him.

“Lo—Logan.”  

Your voice snapped him out of his trance. His eyes widened as he took in the sight in front of him. You were kneeling between his legs with both his fists up against your stomach, blood seeping out.

“Oh, God!” He exclaimed. 

“It’s okay, Logan,” you tried, words slurring together. “Just slowly pull out your claws.”

“What have I done? What did I—“

“Focus here, James. Focus on me.” You were growing weak and dizzy. His eyes searched your face for any sign of anger or fear, but he could only see love and concern. “Slowly, pull them out. But keep your eyes on me.”

With great care, Logan slowly pulled one of his fists away from your abdomen. His claws disappeared, allowing him to pull you closer as he repeated the action with his other hand. You fell forward with a small gasp. Logan quickly helped you lie down. With trembling hands, he lifted your shirt up. Your skin was mending itself slowly, leaving drying blood and scars in its wake.

“I’m so sorry,” you could barely hear the words spill out of Logan’s mouth due to how soft he was speaking. His hands were hovering over your abdomen, not knowing what to do. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Logan, ssshhhhh,” you gently grabbed his hands. “I’m alright. I’m healing.”

“I hurt you… I hurt you…”

“It was just a dream, Logan. I shouldn’t have got between your legs. I knew that it could be dangerous.”

“My claws… I hurt you…”

“I’m fine.” You placed his hands over the newly formed scars.

“I gave you scars…” He yanked his hands back and stumbled off the bed. “I… I can’t…”

You sat up. “Logan, don’t run. Please. Stay. Work this out with me.”

“I… I’m going to my room tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Logan! Please!” You reached out as he opened the door. “Don’t run.”

He paused, gripping the doorknob tightly. “I hurt you…”

“You’ll hurt me even worse if you walk out that door.” Tears were collecting at the edges of your eyes. “Please, James, stay.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Logan slowly closed the door, staying in the room. “I’m sleeping in the chair.”

“Okay.” 

You watched as he almost robotically moved towards the chair next to the window. Before Logan could sit down, his eyes found the drying blood on your abdomen. He disappeared into the bathroom for a moment before returning with a damp washcloth. He knelt on the bed next to you.

“May I?” Logan quietly asked. 

You simply nodded in response. He hesitated for a moment before beginning to gently wipe away the blood. Once Logan was done, you grabbed his wrist before he could get off the bed.

“Don’t leave,” you whispered, finally letting some tears slip. “I… I need you to hold me.”

“I can’t,” he shook his head. 

“You won’t hurt me, Logan.”

“You don’t know that.” 

Logan pulled his wrist from your grip and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He closed his eyes and leaned against the door as he heard you try to muffle your oncoming sobs. After a few long, agonizing moments, Logan finally couldn’t handle it anymore. He opened the door and took wide strides over to you. You were curled on your side, facing away from him. He quickly got on the bed and pulled you back into him.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” 

You turned around and buried yourself into him, continuing to cry. Logan pressed a kiss to your head. This was hard for him, not running. But he couldn’t live without you, that was for sure. And he knew that you couldn’t live without him.

next chapter >

[ienjoywritingfilth]

a sinner i am part iv

trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader / Shawn Miller x f reader / Joel Miller x Tess chapter summary: You and Joel find yourselves alone and things finally come to a head.

wanna see the other parts?

please reblog and review and follow me and all that good shit - IEWF

warning: oral (m and then m gets it), p in v sex, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), fantasy cheating, daddy thrown around, cum swallowing, dirteeee talk, alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golf and he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. rating: E

words 3.8 taglist: @lady-viscera | @cjdign | @fuckthatbazinga | @liciafonseca | @stevie75 | @joelalorian | @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff | @akah565 | @dontknow446 | @pedritosgfreal | @yesjazzywazzylove-blog | @untamedheart81 | @ashleyfilm | @sptbear | @elegantduckturtle | @auteurdelabre | @noneofmyshipsarereal | @blahkateisdone | @hisandsnakes | @wintersquirrel | @shivkillian | @sheepdogchick3 | @moel-jiller | @cuteanimalmama | @gossipgirl-03 | @cowboymarcs | @tahi2006 | @guelyury | @churchofjoemiller | @r3dheadedwitch | @tutarrads | @galway-girlatwork | @supertoga | @gabymalikk

part iv : a moment alone

My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn’t want. And I shouldn’t want you. — Cassandra Clare

Joel and you sit awkwardly across from one another that evening after dinner, trying to join in on the laughter from your partners. 

"Tess couldn't stop screaming," Shawn laughs as he shows the table the video he took of Tess in the ATV next to him. 

"You were driving so crazy!" Tess giggles back. She's under Joel's arm, smiling. She's beautiful and flushed from the wine.

"How was your ride today you two?"  

There it is again: That strange energy that seems to exist between you and Joel. You shoot him a look, surprised to see him looking strangely at you as well. 

"It was really beautiful," you say as you bring out your phone from your shorts pocket. "This was the lookout." 

Shawn and Tess bend over to look at the beautiful shots you took this afternoon. You'd been so peaceful at that lookout over the ocean, thankful to be away from Joel and your strong desire for him. 

"Thankfully Joel drove safely," you say forcing a grin at him over their heads. Tess and Shawn laugh as Joel offers a shallow snigger. 

"Despite this Tess still wants to hike that damn volcano tomorrow morning," Shawn says smirking at her over the table. "At fucking sunrise."

"It's supposed to be gorgeous that time of day!" Tess takes another sip of her wine. 

Joel takes a deep gulp of his beer, trying to be present but unable to stop thinking about his daydream earlier. Joel watches his sons arm crook around your neck, pulling you close to him. 

"Well I know my girl here likes to sleep in." 

Shawn's palm grazes your breast as he shifts and Joel watches your nipple pebble in your thin shirt. Joel feels his cock twitch in response and he prays that Tess doesn't notice. 

"I also like to sleep in on vacation," you remind Shawn playfully. Your head rests on his shoulder and you feel fondness at how attentive Shawn is being to you today. 

"Well you're gonna be bored tomorrow then," Shawn teases you, "Cause we're all hiking it."

Joel gives a groan at the idea. He agreed to it because Tess insisted he join them. But he doesn't really want to do it. His back is sore and he’s so fucking pent up because of you. This vacation is turning into a nightmare.

"If we're leaving early we should hit the hay," Shawn says with a yawn. "Meet at the car at five?"

Everyone agrees and you rise with Shawn taking your hand in his. Joel watches you murmur something to his son and Shawn chuckles, nodding. The two of you disappear into your bedroom, the door closing quickly. 

Tess bounces on Joel's cock her pretty breasts jumping with every thrust of his hips upwards. His wide hands keep her from falling over and he grunts with every fall of their bodies. The second they got into the bedroom she pushed him onto the mattress and handed him a condom. 

"Missed this cock," she whispered as she guided the head through her damp folds. 

"Missed this sweet pussy," Joel whispered back. "Missed how she looks when she's full of me." 

Even through the condom Tess feels good. So tight and warm it's only a matter of time before the two of them are groaning into each other's mouths in an attempt to keep quiet. Tess tilts back and begins to ride him earnestly her hips rolling. Joel watches how she slides her pussy up and down his wet dick. 

It's just like the fantasy in the ATV. Only it's not Tess he's seeing, it's you in your flimsy clothes riding him. Your pretty face all scrunched up as you bounce on him. 

"You're so big Joel," you cry for him. "Too big for my tight pussy." 

"Fuuuuuck," Joel groans. 

Tess grins down at her boyfriend watching the hypnotized way he gazes where his cock is swallowed by her cunt. 

"You feel so good," she tells him before she begins to ride him furiously, the bed squeaking. Joel grunts with one hand fisting the pillow behind his head. 

"Fucking take it," he grits out as your tight body continues playing behind his eyes. "Fucking take my cum like a good little whore does." 

Tess, turned on from the dirty talk covers her mouth with her hand and moans into her palm. She doesn't want you and Shawn to hear.  Joel is in a state of bliss with Tess squeezing his cock and your phantom body riding him. He can picture your face squeezed in an expression of pleasure. 

"This is so bad, daddy." 

All of a sudden Joel is sitting up and bouncing Tess furiously in his lap. She cries out in pleasure. 

"Beg daddy to let you come," Joel growls into her ear. "Beg daddy to use your cunt." 

Tess feels her core tightening. Joel has always been good in bed but this feels different almost like he's desperate for her. 

"Please daddy," she whimpers. 

"Please daddy what?" Joel groans back. 

"Please cum in me," Tess says as the orgasm starts in her lower belly. "Use my cunt."

Joel falls back on the bed, his forehead slick with sweat and his hips jutting up brutally. Tess rides him, body twitching as her orgasm nears. 

"Show me how a good girl cums for her daddy," Joel rasps.

Tess grips the headboard of the bed and begins to drop down onto his cock over and over until she lets out a muffled whine. Joel lets out a choked moan and spurts into the condom. 

When Joel returns from tossing the condom in the bathroom trash Tess is already in her nightdress smiling at him. He crawls into bed next to her and pulls her into a hug. 

Tess smiles at him with a glint in her light eyes. 

"Daddy huh?"

Joel feels his cheeks going red. He tries to shrug it off casually, unable to look her in the face. 

"Just wanted to try something new."

The truth is Joel has never used that nickname in the bedroom. He never understood why men wanted to hear it. But for some reason when he pictures you, he wants you to moan it for him. He wants that taboo edge that comes along with it, that desperate notion that it's wrong on so many levels that makes him think of you naked and blissed-out underneath him while he fucks his girlfriend.  

"I liked it," Tess says as she snuggles closer to him. He feels a pang of guilt at what just happened and he kisses her sweetly in remorse. He can’t look at her anymore so Joel flicks of the lamp next to the bed and leaves the room dark.

"I've missed you," Tess says breathlessly next to him. "We've both been so busy at work." 

"I know," he sighs tracing little circles along the side of her ribcage. "Gotta get better at that work life balance shit." 

Tess laughs, pulling his face to hers for a kiss before announcing that she's exhausted and going to sleep. Joel lays awake as he hears his girlfriend drift off to sleep. Her snores begin but another sound soon has his attention. 

You kneel between Shawn's spread legs on the bed with your mouth wrapped around his cock. Your hands are on either side of his thighs and your ass is in the air. You moan around his length trying to sound enthused but in truth all you want to do is go to bed. However you feel so guilty over the dirty thoughts you've been having about his dad that you felt you needed to do this. He lies back on the crisp white bedding with his hips jerking up as he passively lets you suck and taste. 

"Your mouth is so good," Shawn grunts as you go down on him. 

You breathe through your nose, frustrated that you've been at it so long because your jaw is starting to hurt. You need to think of something to keep you going. Your eyes fall shut and even though you don't want to you begin to think of Joel. How thick his cock looked through his shorts and how much bigger he is than Shawn. Shawn groans appreciatively as your tongue flicks the underside of his cock. In your head its Joel your leaning between the legs of. Joel's cock hitting the back of your throat. You groan again but this time with sincerity at the thought. 

"I'm gonna cum," Shawn tells you with a whimper. Your eyes pop open and go up his body to see his eyes squeezed shut. You begin to suck harder just wanting this to be over. 

He grips the pillow behind his head as he erupts in your mouth sending hot seed coating your tongue. 

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" 

You hate swallowing cum. It's always grossed you out and tonight is no exception. You throw your legs off the side of the bed and rush into the bathroom. 

Joel hears the sound of the adjoining bathroom door swinging open and of bare feet slapping over the tile floor. He rolls onto his side and looks at the crack under his door to see the individual hasn't turned on the light. There's the unmistakable sound of spitting into the sink then water running.

The figure begins rinsing it's mouth and then he hears them spit into the sink again. After a pause there is a gentle sigh and Joel knows that it's you in there. His tummy tightens. He realizes what's just occurred. You spit again and then the door on your side creaks shut. 

You didn't swallow his cum. 

Joel can't understand why that turns him on so much. All he knows is despite cumming moments earlier he still goes to sleep with his cock so hard it throbs. 

Shawn rises early the next morning to the soft chime of a text. He looks at it then at you and sighs before sending something off in reply. He feels tense as he dresses for the day, sure to wear his best hiking shoes. He looks at you again and sees the drool at the corner of your mouth. 

"Gonna head for a hike to that volcano," Shawn whispers, pressing a ginger kiss to your temple. "Be back in a few hours."

"Mmmmhmmmm okay babe,"' you mutter drowsy with your eyes closed. You're barely awake, still warm and half slumbering. 

You don't know how much time has passed before you wake up again to the empty house. You stretch, groaning as your back pops. You yawn, heading into the bathroom, surprised to see it's foggy. You're eyes are closed as you walk to the sink, squeezing toothpaste onto the brush and staring to scrub. You don't even hear the shower running until it suddenly turns off. 

"Hey." 

Your eyes fly open to look at the mirror in front of you. Joel stands in the glass shower with his brown eyes wide. He's naked and wet from the shower. 

"Fuck!"You drop the brush in the sink and go stumbling back groping for the door. "Shit I'm sorry-" you sputter with a loud thunk of your heart. You feel like your whole body is shaking. 

"its fine," Joel says in a strained voice. You're thankful his lower half shielded by the shower etching. "Don't worry, it's fine!"

Your hand flies over your eyes as you finally push back against the door, trying in vain to locate the door handle. You hear the creak of the shower door. 

"I didn't know," you shriek, "I thought everyone was hiking!"

You hear shuffling and you assume Joel must be wrapping the towel around him as he steps out of the shower. 

"Honey its fine."

You feel thick fingers coming to wrap around your wrist, tugging it down. Your eyes are exposed, wide and stuck on Joel. His hair is pushed back from the water and he glistens with droplets. 

"It's not a big deal it was an accident.”  

"It feels like a big deal." Your eyes begin trailing down his strong stomach to look at the pristine white hotel towel wrapped around his waist. 

"Why?" 

The moment is charged now, the two of your breathing increasingly quicker. Your eyes trail back up his body, taking their time along his naked chest before they finally glue to Joel's parted lips. 

"You know why Joel." 

His dark eyes grow darker. You can see the way that the pupil edges out all remaining chocolate brown leaving him with an aroused look that makes your pussy clench.

You feel like you're in a dream when his hand goes to where his towel is tucked at his hip. You don't try to stop him when he tugs it loose and let's it slip to the tilted floor. He stands boldly, not a shred of insecurity in his tall frame. 

His cock is thick and large with a slight curve. The colour matches the rest of him but the tip is a blush of mauve. He's half hard but the longer you stare at it between you it hardens further, coming to graze your belly in its ascent. 

You lick your lips subconsciously recalling the desperation you had for just a taste of his cock. Joel sees this and feels arousal nudging the base of his spine. Again you lift your eyes to his, uncertain of what Joel is thinking. 

Joel can't stop looking at you all soft and sleepy. Your tank is practically see-through and the short panties you wear underneath cut you perfectly to show your ass. He's sure that his need for you is seeping out his pores at this point.  

You're halfway onto the cool floor before you realize what you're doing. When your bare knees make contact with the tile you seem to come back into your body. Joel's cock juts directly in front of your face, his head tilted to look down at you. 

Tess is gone on a hike. She left him with a kiss to his sleepy mouth and a quick love you. That's what he should be thinking of. Not his son's girlfriend on her knees, her plump lips inches from the head of his cock. 

But all of that seems so far away right now. His heartbeat is pounding out of his chest because you look so seductive with your hair falling into your eyes and your mouth glossy from anxiously licking your lips. You wait there on your knees, your hot breath fanning over the head of his cock and Joel feels himself get desperate. Joel's hand comes to lace its fingers through your hair, the thick digits cupping the back of your skull. He tugs gently at the roots and you shudder an exhale in pleasure. You feel his hand cupping your skull gingerly urging your face forward. 

"They won't be back for a bit." He says in a husky murmur without tearing his eyes from yours. 

His hips roll incrementally and his thick cock bobs up and down. It’s so big that you have to drag a shaky hand to it and wrap your fingers around the base. Your fingertips can't even touch when you circle him.

Joel groans when you touch him, a low, rumble that makes your pussy tingle. You drop your hand nervously. Joel stares down at you, the both of you clearly waiting for the other to make the first move. 

You gaze up at him in supplication before you tilt your head back and let your tongue slide out. Joel takes a deep sharp breath at the sight of your mouth open luridly and your tongue begging for his cock. 

Joel grips his cock by the base while transfixed by your mouth. You sit patiently as he shuffles forward and he taps the head of his cock against your wet tongue several times. He enjoys the damp slapping sound. And so do you if your squirming is any indication. 

He begins to guide the head of his cock along your tongue in slow stripes. Back and forth, rocking it closer and closer to your open mouth. 

I'm a bad man. 

You begin to suckle the tip of him, intimidated at his girth. You're rewarded with a deep growl from Joel and his fingers tightening in your hair. The sound makes you excited as well as nervous. What if Tess and Shawn come back early? There are so many opportunities to be caught. That shouldn't make your pussy ache but it does. Joel sees your hesitation and loosens the fist in your hair. He doesn't want you feeling forced to do this but he also thinks he might die if you don't wrap your mouth around his cock soon. 

"It's just the two of us here." His words are slow and low and soothing and his eyes are black and glossy with desire. 

You feel lulled into moving forward once more and now you begin to lick the tip of him without looking away. His thighs shake as he watches and feels you. You're so desperate for him and you begin to take him into your mouth. 

I'm a bad man. This is wrong and immoral and disgusting and Joel had never been so hard in his life. 

"It's okay," Joel soothes like you're a feral animal he's trying to tame. "Just relax." 

His hand sweeps back your hair from your face. He wants to watch every moment of you blowing him. 

"You want it don't you?"  Joel coos, his hip slowly edging forward when you make no move. "I know you want it, honey. You want this so bad," he mutters and he's not sure if it's for him or you. "Just open up a little and I can give it to you.”

You nod up at him with luminous eyes. He wonders if there's still a part of you that feels guilty. Your mouth parts as you begin to take him, your cheeks bulging as his cock begins to fill your mouth.

"Uh huh just like that," Joel tells you warmly. "Just like that yea just like that honey." 

Your palms balance on his naked thighs, warm and damp from the shower. Then all of a sudden you pull yourself off of him, saliva clinging from your lips to the head of his cock.

"Wait Joel maybe we shouldn't."

This is so wrong. Shawn is your boyfriend you love him. What the fuck are you doing in here sucking his father’s cock?  

"Shhh," Joel offers in a sibilant hush. "It's okay honey. You're feeling guilty I know, but I know how much you want this. You do, don’t you? It’s okay you can tell me.”

You squirm on the ground at the way he’s speaking to you. All soft and charming like his wet cock isn’t brushing impatiently against your lips. Everything in you is commanding that you stop this immediately but a sinister voice in the back urges you to continue.

“We’ll just do it once,” he promises in a voice of velvet. “Just once.”

You gaze up the length of Joel’s naked body, taking in the strong shoulders, the lean neck and the plush mouth that smirks down at you right now. He takes his cock by the base and and drags the head along your lower lip, tapping it there like he’s knocking at the front door waiting to be let in.

“You want my cock baby girl?”

You exhale, surrendering.

“Yea, I want it.”

“Show me.”

You hate yourself for exhaling before licking the tip of him and whining when you watch his cock drool pre-cum. But you don’t hate yourself enough to stop taking him into your mouth. You whine around him, the guilt and the desire mixing up inside of you.

“I know,” Joel coos as if he feels your turmoil. "It's okay to want this."

You hum around his cock and he smirks at your cock-drunk expression. He begins to slide his cock deeper into your mouth and smiles contentedly to himself when he sees how your mouth strains around him.

“Wider.”

He groans down at you as you work your mouth over him, obeying his order. You want to pleasure him and show him how good you are. You want him to make those low growls again. He begins to shift, his hand holding your head in place as he thrusts into your mouth. You gag slightly but Joel doesn't notice. His head is thrown back and he moves like a wild animal. 

It's only your mouth and you feel like heaven. He can only imagine how your cunt would feel. He needs to feel it, taste it, smell it. He needs to taste every part of your body. He needs you to call him daddy in a whine as he fucks into your beautiful body. 

I'm a bad man. 

He's close now, his balls tightening. He doesn't know why but he thinks of you spitting into the sink. About how his son's cum wasn't worthy enough for you but Joel's is. His hands move to your cheeks, caressing them as he continues to thrust. 

"You'll swallow mine, won't you, baby girl?" 

Yes, you will. You want to feel him down your throat you want to savor any part of him he'll share with you. 

He grunts in approval when you nod and, his hips start slapping against your face. He’s gonna come and he’s gonna make sure that you don’t waste a bit of him. His hand goes to the top of your head, holding you in place again. You've taken his cock so deep your nose is smashed in the thatch of hair around his cock. 

You're gonna swallow his cum. You want to do it. You wouldn't swallow for his son but you'll swallow for him. Joel feels dizzy with elation and deplorable need as his body tightens. He holds your head as ropes of cum shoot down your throat. It's so much that your cheeks plump and he lets out a strangled moan. 

He holds you and waits, watching as your delicate throat bobs, swallowing him down before you beam up at him. He doesn't have to say anything. You simply hold out your tongue to show him it's clean. He gives a wobbly smile and nods in approval with his blushing chest heaving.

You go to say something when the sound of your cell chirping in the other room drains the blood from your face. What did you just do? You've crossed the line. You sucked the cock of your boyfriend's dad. You swallowed his cum. He tapped his cock on your tongue. He fucked your mouth and you loved every second. Your face goes beet red and prickles in the heat of shame. Joel seems to be feeling the same because he helps you to your feet looking concerned as he re-wraps the towel around his waist breathing in and out quickly. 

"Better answer that. Might be Shawn." 

“Yea." 

Joel twists away and walks to his bedroom. His eyes fall shut and he grimaces as he closes the door behind him with a click of the lock. He hears you chatting on the phone to his son and catches his reflection in the bedroom mirror. His face morphs from that of a disgusted father to that of a depraved man.

I'm a bad man and it feels so good.

[metamatar]

that was my attempt to analyse stuff without letting too much sectarian nonsense bleed. ok consider giving me some grace for what im about to say next i try not do this too often bc i learn a lot from anarchists on here and i think needless antagonizing is bad. i will not be saying anything stupid like anarchists are not a real threat or whatever.

i also think a lot of the recently popularised texts like desert appeal to a romantic and innocent past to return to that predates industrial society. this is a (usually orientalist) narrative that is easy to buy if you don't really live in or engage with any communities that are identified as worth only industrial extraction but not industrial society – which is where global south subsistence economies actually exist, survival in the face of brutal imperial exploitation. so you can say out of pocket shit like african subsistence economies are anarchic power relations not conducive to empire. it is also a narrative that offers absolution from the genocide that the united states is built on by placing the answer in trying to reverse time. at this point i can be accused of developmentalism but im very open about the fact that third world poverty animates a lot of my political psychology.

pretty common and less interesting reasons are that anarchism acquires a lot of former libertarians whose hostility to authority is still located in that framework of liberty as rights. it conceptualises communism as authoritarianism cf historic anticommunism. unlearning shit is hard. marxism can be unpleasant culturally, as its full of pedant academics, the menshevik turn that says never is the time for agitation, full time campists, people on whom the ussr weighs like a nightmare and traditionalists who are not merely anti fun but plenty of anti sw, anti drug reactionary strains that are anathema even to progressive socdems. who wouldn't want to be free from this baggage etc.

you'd think that i would make a quip about effectiveness but honestly i don't really know how to organise in the imperial core yet. im taking an L abt that.

have had this discussion with comrades elsewhere but anarchists are the primary vehicle for left energy only in the anglosphere, which can be attributed both to historic (cold war destruction of institutional power) and ongoing anticommunism (you cannot be granted a us visa for eg if you belong to an official communist party.) as well as the likelihood of high control electoral parties without a path to power to degenerate into cult behaviour. all the vaunted exciting organising that is associated with anarchists in the united states — foodbanks and fascist defense is often done by party cadre of so called communist parties in india all the time. movement politics is contigent on historic factors that aren't just about ideology but also about strategy. indian anarchism for eg is mostly academic or its reactionary conservatism in thrall with the gandhian valorisation of the village.

[ovaryacted]

─ Javier Peña x fem! reader || WC: 693

CW: MDNI/18+. Slightly NSFW. Post DEA/Retired! Javier Peña. Javi & reader are married. Setting is at some family celebration idk lmao. Sexual innuendos. Sexual tension & teasing. Sex flashbacks and daydreaming. They are down bad for one another.

This has been in my drafts for a couple of days, figured I'd just share it now instead of letting it dust away in the notes lolz. Javi deserves some love from me, I miss him. This is also me writing after a couple of days of sadness so be nice pleak!

You’ve been through it all with the one and only Javier Peña. All the stressors and toxicity of his government job leaving Colombia, the nightmares, the self-loathing. Being and growing with him took time, and learning him as a human being taught you the patience you never thought you’d gain. He was an enigma you had to figure out, and miraculously, when he realized you were the puzzle piece he’d been missing all along, everything else followed through. After a few years together and an exchange of vows, things in your life have been more abundant than you thought possible, and now you’ve both reaped the benefits of going through those trials and tribulations together.

Sitting on his left side, the sounds of the banquet hall tuned out as you merely stared at your husband in awe. Dressed in a suit and his hair slicked back, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander as you admired him from afar. The invitation to a family celebration landed in your mail a few weeks ago, something a bit more formal for your taste, but neither of you could turn it down, nor did you want to.

You especially weren’t complaining when you saw how Javi dressed for the event, donning a black blazer, crisp white button-down, sleek black slacks, and dark leather shoes. He even changed his hairstyle, brushing his hair back after getting a haircut and his jaw clear of facial hair after his close shave. When he kissed you on the cheek as you did your makeup, you could still smell the aftershave he used and his musky cologne, overwhelming your senses in the best way. 

Your mind drifted as you daydreamed about his hands and how he used them. His plush lips, the way they caress you, map you out without having to ask. That mouth of his that spews the most diabolical and erotic things as he pleases you with no end in sight, the thought alone heated your cheeks and sent an electric pulse through your body.

You didn’t realize you were fidgeting in your seat until a hand grasped your thigh. Blinking and looking down to spot Javi’s left hand covering the length of your upper leg, he offered an affectionate squeeze, the golden wedding band on his ring finger gleaming under the hall’s light.

“What are you thinking up there, cariño?” He asked you, brown eyes reverently taking in your face as his thumb stroked your leg.

“Nothing much. Promise.” You couldn’t even look him straight in the eye, noticing how he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“Mentirosa,” he muttered with a smirk, the dimples you loved making an appearance as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip.

“If you stay on your best behavior for the rest of the night, I’ll give you something sweet when we get home. Deal?”

It was a proposition you couldn’t ignore. You knew what to expect, and the shiver rolling down your spine gave enough leeway that you understood the intent of his message.

“Deal,” you replied confidently, accepting the kiss he placed on your lips, a momentary tease of what the rest of the night would entail.

“Good. I don’t want everybody in here to know how dirty-minded my wife is.” You chuckled, glancing at him with a slightly raised eyebrow.

“That’s all you, baby. Don’t get it twisted.”

“Touché. But can you blame me? Not when you look this good in black.” He squeezed your thigh a bit harder this time, making his possession known the way you liked. “You aren’t the only one daydreaming right now, but a couple more hours, and we’ll make it a reality.”

You mimicked his grin, placing your left hand over his to clasp around his fingers. He instinctively took your hand, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles and grazing over the diamond ring that sat prettily on your finger. As you both talked to other relatives to pass the time, you kept his offer in the back of your mind, remembering to ticket it in once you’re away from prying eyes and in the comforts of your home.

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

[certifiedwomenkisser]

vi helps the reader through a nightmare (drabble)

yeah i didn't really know what to call this and i came up with the idea when i was half asleep so enjoy 👍 (still recovering from s2 act 1 as well..)

your eyes shot open as you woke up in a panic, chest tight, breathing shallow, cold sweat glistening on your forehead. the urge to cry was overwhelming as you turned over, trying to regulate your breathing.

thank god, vi was still there.

all you could think of was the cruel look in her eyes when she just turned around and left you. it was so cold and it felt so, so real. and yet there she was, lying right in front of you, chest rising and falling, sleeping as peacefully as a baby.

you shimmied over to her as quickly as your body would take you, tears welling in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around her waist, tight as possible, now letting out quiet sobs into her body.

"woah, hey, what's wrong sweetheart?"

vi wasn't accustomed to this, normally it was you cuddling her, not the opposite way around. she especially wasnt accustomed to being woken up to it.

the grogginess in vi's voice reverberated in your head as you quickly tried to compose yourself to answer her question.

"are you.. crying?"

shit.

of course she would've figured it out, she's not stupid, it's not like you were being especially discreet either, you waking her up just didn't come up as an opportunity in your mind, you just wanted to hold her and-

vi's hand lifted up your chin so you were forced to face her. after a couple seconds you crumbled and started sobbing under her gaze.

"baby, seriously, what's going on? you can tell me."

her thumb wiped away some of your tears, pure sympathy decorated her face, which for some reason made you cry harder.

"it's so stupid.. you would laugh at me if i told you."

you said through sobs, a shaky hand coming up to grab her wrist, as if you were still scared she was going to leave.

vi said your name in a sincere tone, which made you look up to make eye contact with her

"nothing you're upset about could ever be stupid to me, this is clearly making you upset so i wanna know what it is so i can at least try to help you."

she moved some hair out of your face as you began to calm down a bit

"i promise i won't laugh. i would never laugh at you when you're upset."

you let out a shaky breath as you looked up at her

"you're sure?"

"of course."

you let another shaky breath out as you began,

"it was.. a nightmare.. and it was so stupid, i don't even know how my brain came up with it but, you and me were there and you just.. turned around and left me.."

tears again threatened to flow from your eyes

vi cupped your face in her hands

"sweetheart, no, no, i would never do that. i've already done it once, i would never, ever do it again."

you began to cry again as you retreated to vi's chest, clinging almost for dear life as one of vi's arms wrapped around your body, the other going to your head, slowly petting your head in a means to comfort you.

you moved your head from vi's chest to make eye contact with her.

"i need you to promise me you won't ever leave me."

vi looked slightly surprised, but obliged anyhow

"of course, i promise"

you sniffled

"how can i trust you?"

vi gently cupped your face once more and leaned in for a kiss.

any doubts you had were melted away as soon as your lips touched, you draped your arms around her neck as you deepened the kiss.

after a few seconds vi pulled away.

"nothing you or anyone else does could ever make me leave you, i love you more than words can tell, i promise you i am staying right here."

you sniffed as you smiled up at her, wondering how you ever could've doubted her.

you both fell into a deep sleep, you still clinging onto vi, contented as ever.

[katiascraft]

"Tender is the night for a broken heart" | CL16

Parings: Charles Leclerc x Reader.

Summary: you been feeling very sad lately. Your emotional stress is taking you places you didn’t want to back in ever again. And Charles knows it - just wanna make sure you know you are loved despite it all.

Now playing: "Space song" by Super Pipo.

Word count: +2k

Warnings: INSINUATION OF SUICIDE - if you are sensitive to these kind of topics please don’t read it. ANGST WITH HAPPY ENDING. VERY SAD. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. I do what I can. Not proofread.

Author's note: I may or may not written this one about a real situation. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. Hope you like it and sorry in advanced if I make you cry. Charles the man that you are in my head 😭. Don’t forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

The wind was brushing the tears that were dropping from your eyes gently. You were shaking, scared. Nature was the only thing that surrounded you. Tall pines with your favorite gradient of green were all around you. You could hear the bird singing. You thought it was morning because the sun on your face was warm - that made you close your eyes to take it all in. that made you sob even harder. You could hear the water of the river crashing against the stonewall of the cliff you were standing on. when you opened your eyes you could see that you were on the edge of it. You took a gasp of fair freezing in the moment. A feeling so overwhelming took over you starting to sweat. Your hands wrapped your own body around. You hugged yourself there. The pain eating you alive was almost unbearable. The wind intensified, sending shivers down your spine. You closed your eyes again, ready to let go of everything. Of this pain you carried along so many years of your life. This burden you carried everywhere. This ghost living inside you is trapped, washing away your personality. Your soul felt in prison by the canvas it got. Your body felt the most uncomfortable place to exist. Your mind was so twisted sometimes you didn't know what was reality and what was your anxiety inventing fake scenarios which will hunt you all night long. Living with you was so difficult. It felt impossible for you that someone could actually love just by who you were. If you are this dark entity then who could love you? Anyone. Your mind convinced you, you needed to end it all to be finally free. You knew you were meant to fly. You just needed to let go. Relax your body and let it float. Let it fall into the immensity of the universe. Let you find a better place to live in. have your happy ending. You finally opened your eyes again out of breath trembling. You were ready. This was it for you. It was time. It was finally time. You even smiled.

But when you were about to let go you started hearing that voice. The same voice you heard every morning and you didn't know why it would choose to stick around your misery.

“y/n! y/n stop!” his voice almost broke your ears of how loud he screamed. You stopped freezing at your feet. Your heart started pounding like crazy. Adrenaline takes over your body turning your face red. Tears started to come out again even more violently. “y/n please don't do it!” his voice was torn in desperation. He was crying as violently as you, you could feel it. You could feel him grabbing your arms. You saw the watered disappear. Now you could only see the stone of the mountain you were standing on. You screamed at the top of your lungs and then everything was black.

“No!” you woke up sweating cold. You were a sea of tears shaking. Charles was already awake. He was trying to wake you up for a couple of minutes and now is really worried about you. You couldn't stop crying stunned by the nightmare you've just had.

“y/n. It's okay, love. I am here. You are ok” he said gently so wouldn't scare you. He grabbed you in his arms carefully. You looked so fragile he was scared he could break you. His heart ached seeing you like this.

These past few weeks were really hard on your end. You started feeling like your old self, self doubting about everything and anything. Insecure you weren't enough anymore for him or your job or your friend or even your family. You started feeling like a burden again lost in your own pain and struggle. Life was always a little harder for you. You've been out of really toxic relationships during your teenagehood that broke you down so bad you had to rebuild yourself all over again as if you weren't ever born. All this trauma you carried made everyday harder to live for you. You developed social issues not knowing how to interact or make friends as the aftermath. You also couldn't trust people or ask for help. Yeah, you were depressed for a couple of years. Thankfully you met Charles at your best self you liked to think. You were starting to feel happier. You liked who you were becoming. It wasn't that hard anymore to talk to people or open up with them.

When you met, you never thought Charles would even like you to be fair. He was the most gorgeous guy you have ever met. Real life prince charming you used to tell your friends. You were only an average girl, a troubled and messed up one, you thought you had no chance with him. But at the end of the road trip with friends he kissed you and you felt so overwhelmed with joy you couldn't believe it was actually your life, the one you were living. It felt strange and at the same time amazing. It was so easy with Charles to open up to him and tell him your story. He never judged you nor ran away from you scared. He didn't see you as a monster. As a broken record never able to be fixed. He fell in love with you because to him you were the sweetest person with the biggest heart he has ever talked to. You were so honest and real to everyone about everything he fell for it. He fell for your loud and weird laugh. So Precious and contagious. With your beautiful sparkly eyes always so honest and crystal clear. You were so you, so real. He felt you were so brave to be so you. In his world it was uncommon for your kind of people. He knew since the first night he met you at Lando´s birthday 5 years ago that you were the one. He didn't know you but he already knew. Destiny told him.

He knew your struggles, of course he did. He always listened to you. Felt so heartbroken every time. If he could, he would literally murder every single monster - because the one who hurt you didn't deserve to be called even humans - that did all of that to you. To him you were so pure, maybe too good for this cruel world. He tried to protect you from it all the best he could. But there was one thing he couldn't protect you against and that was your mind. He knew that your mind was the one who could move earth and seas just to hurt you in the worst way possible.

Heknew something was off with you when you started retreating. You stopped going to friends´ dinners. You didn't assist in the races you were supposed to. You stopped getting out of home more and more. You barely went out to the garden. Most of the time you were in your studio working non stop to preoccupy your mind and not think. He knew you were struggling when I stopped doing your hair the way you loved to do it. Stopped wearing your fancy outfits just to drive him crazy and urging you to take them all off when you two got home. You stopped eating the meals you were supposed to. He knew you avoid seeking help when you feel this down. He knew it was really hard for you so he let you be and wait for you to take your time until you're ready to address your feelings.

Tonight you were asleep when he got home from Max´s. You didn't want to go either and Max was your best friend. Charles was really concerned about you. He hated seeing you like this when you don't deserve to feel this. He would burn the world alive just for you to be happy if needed. You were sleeping peacefully so he decided to take a shower and join you. He laid next to you on his side to look at your face so peacefully relaxed. So angelical. He always felt so lucky to have you around in his life. Even without noticing you were the light of his life. You made him so incredibly happy, heard, understood, supported, embraced. You were his angel. Always reaching for him to give him a hand with anything he needed. So patient and understanding. You were his favorite place and he wished he could make you feel the same. Because he loved you with every fiber on his body and the only wish he had was for you to be happy.

After about 20 minutes of sleeping or so he woke up to you sobbing uncontrollably next to him. You were asleep. He guessed you were either having a nightmare or sleep paralysis. He settled on the bed so he could try to wake you up. His heart was racing in anxiety full of worry. He tried to wake you up for a couple of long minutes until you finally did and he clothed you in his arms. He rocked you gently trying to comfort you in some way.

“I'm sorry baby you feel this way” he whispered with a knot on his throat. You were shaking still but your crying ceased little by little. He kissed your temple lovingly and carefully. You just stayed like that until you could calm down.

When you did you felt drained. Your heart aches as your face from your salty tears and tries to wipe them everytime. Charles cupped your cheeks making you look at him. You felt so guilty and embarrassed to make him go through this. He didn't deserve to be with a broken soul. He deserved better. Someone that could make him happy as he deserved. You looked at him, his eyes glassy with tears.

“Listen to me y/n, i know you may or may not believe me. But listen to me okay?” you swallowed hard, ready to hate yourself for being a burden to him. “I love you. I know you feel like you don't deserve me like you are not enough for me. But let me tell you all of that is not true. I swear I would kill all these people who made you believe all these awful things about you if I could. You don't deserve to feel this pain baby. You are beautiful. You are important to so many people. You make so happy you don't have an idea” his voice cracked making you start crying again and so did he. “You really do y/n, please, believe me. You are an amazing person despite everything that happened to you. You fought so hard to be who you are and I promise it's beautiful to see. And I'm so proud of you baby. Everyone is, I promise. You are really important to me and to everyone that knows you. You are light and I know you don't feel like it. That you feel like a burden but you aren't. And you'll never be for the right people, the ones that see you, the real you. and the real you is so interesting and pretty baby. Yes you are my love” he was crying and smiling. You were sobbing but didn't take your eyes away from him. He was burning your soul with his words. Telling you everything you needed to hear and he didn't even know that. Charlie was so perfect to you even in this shitty as fuck situations with your mental health. You felt so lucky right there in his arms under the sight of his beautiful eyes that looked at you with deep love.

“I love you charlie” you said below whisper and hugged him tightly hiding yourself under his frame. You wanted to hide there forever if possible. He intensified his grip and kissed your head trying to comfort you as much as he could.

“You deserve to be happy y/n, i really mean it. You're the best person i've ever come to know.” he said softly making butterflies fly like crazy on your stomach. The pain you felt was fading away now little by little. You felt so dumb for not talking sooner about your feelings but you forgave yourself. That's what your therapist told you. You need to be more gentle with yourself and give the same understanding perspective as you give to others. Treat yourself as you treat others. Always.

“You make me happy” you said with your face buried in his neck not wanting to get out of there anytime soon. He smiled relieved and pressed gentle kisses on your cheek.

He was the first person who listened to your soul. And you knew right there that with him by your side you could heal and finally be the person you deserve to be and be loved just because.

Charles was the love of your life. And he was yours. There´s nothing to be afraid of.

You will be more than okay.

[sweetsaladpainterranch]

Challenges of Raising a 6 Month Old Demon

Blanket Blunder

...

It was around 2 am in your shared suite at the Hazbin Hotel and you were awoken to an excited husband nuzzling into your neck with tender kisses. His body was tightly spooned around yours and you could feel every inch of his intentions for waking you up in the middle of the night. With a sleepy sigh, you wiggled your hips against him and smiled in satisfaction as a warm, breathy groan tickled your neck in reply.

You turned your body to fully face his furry embrace and you melted upon being met with the loving fire blazing in his ruby eyes.

Oh, how you loved this demon of a buck. ♥️

You ran your hands down his chest and abdomen only to find that he had already done away with his usual silk pajamas and even his briefs. Looking back up at his face, Alastor smugly wiggled his eyebrows with a lust filled smirk. You giggled at his charming display and pressed your chest against his to get even closer for a heated kiss. You were both lost in the passionate encounter of hands and lips. Lost in each other.

However this also meant that neither of you heard the soft squeak of the door opening or the almost silent hoof steps leading directly to the foot of your large bed. You were just about to straddle your mate, also feeling his hands slip under the thin hem of your cotton nightgown, when you both froze.

There was the undeniable sound of pacifier sucking and you whipped your head around to see a tear faced Evangeline standing with her tiny hands bunched into her onesie pajamas. All you saw of her face was big red doe eyes looking up in confusion before a loud record screech sounded off and you were immediately thrown over the far side of the bed.

"E-Evie, my little darling!", Alastor sat up stiffly and quickly snapped his fingers to reclothe himself, "What is it that brings you here so late?" His voice sounded thick with panicked agitation.

Evangeline climbed onto the bed near his hooves and let out a sad whine as she rubbed her eyes, which were noticeably red and puffy. You stood up, from where you landed unceremoniously on the floor, and went to sit near her while Alastor continued.

"Did you have another nightmare, sweetheart?", he cooed gently.

She nodded a few times before crawling onto your lap to snuggle her curly hair into your warm embrace. You slowly looked up at your husband and the both of you knew what was coming...

The next time you awoke, you were sandwiched in between your mate (hugging your side tightly and long leg stretched across your own ) and your fawn (who lay directly on your chest with her hand on your face and drooling). Both were snoring heavily and you thought that maybe you could be a bit late to work this morning as you settled deeper into the snuggle puddle.

...

I had a nice morning 🙂

Hope you guys are doing well.

-S.S.P.R.

[fanaticsnail]

Dreaming of You

Series Masterlist Here

Word Count: 1,800+

Synopsis: There was something not right about this scenario. Fear gripped you as you lay helpless and quivering beneath a figure you had never met. Fear gripped you, and the cusps of reality slipped further from you the deeper you gave in to his motions.

Themes: Accursed Prince Loki x afab!reader, dub con, non con hinted, size difference: extra large, Elbaf spoiler warning, NSFW, 18+, MDNI, smut, nightmares, terror themes, threats, violence threatened, fear, enemies that remain enemies.

Notes: Art by @skullfacedlady, to whom this fic is dedicated to because she needs more content with this beautiful, terrifying man. It is also not how I regularly write this little series, but I couldn't resist a little twist because my hand slipped. Position also heavily inspired by @don-mellow's art on Twitter (NSFW link). Two beautiful artists making me fall in love with this accursed prince, and it's a long way to tumble.

The atmosphere was sparsely illuminated by dull tongues of fire. Flickering against the cobblestone and revealing the giant’s mane and helm, a sinister grin split up his cheeks as he stooped below towards your small, quivering frame.

“Poor tiny human,” he purrs down at you, his voice reverberating in the chasms of your chest and causing your lips to quiver in fright. “All afraid and shaking.”

The rattles of the chains shackling his wrists was the only forewarning he gave before your clothes were split and shredded by one deliberate swipe. Fear gripped you as you were now bare before the giant, your eyes widening and flesh puckering in the cool of the air.

“No need for that face,” he chuckled, reaching down and expelling his cock from its bonds in his leathery pants. The tip was blushed a pretty hue of red, now revealed with a crude slap of his shaft springing up and catching on his stomach. “I have no intention of hurting my little plaything. Quite the contrary, in fact.”

The shudder in your body was the only response you made, your voice physically unable to speak or scream at the man to halt his actions. He dove down towards you, throat chuckling as a hefty wave of his warm breath met your flushed skin.

“I just want a look,” he growled in a deep baritone, “Open your legs for me, or I will open them for you. Trust, plaything, the former would be far more pleasant for you. Ankles to your ass, knees to the side. Now.”

A sob hitched in your throat as you made to move your body. As he said, you drew your feet slowly up to the bottom of your ass and butterflied your knees out to the sides. Turning your face away from him, you clenched your eyes shut and whimpered as you felt the huffs of his breath journey ever closer.

“Would you look at that, wee plaything,” his voice held a tone of teasing to it, “Such a pretty, flushed cunt all there for the taking.”

You screamed at him internally, pleading and begging for him to not attempt to put his cock inside you. It would kill you, given the fact his cock was larger than the size of you in your entirety.

His meaty fingers brushed against your side, tickling you with his teasing advances. You flinched away from his touch, but it only made him all the more enthusiastic about your little display. Drawing his hand up your torso, he used one hand to draw up both of your wrists to pin above your head by a single index finger.

“You know when I said ‘I just want a look’ just now?” he growled, stooping ever closer to you and dragging his whiskered chin over your naked chest.

“I lied.”

Just as you opened your eyes and began to make a motion to scream at him to halt, his fat tongue fled from his lips and licked a long stripe from your cunt up to your head. The slippery saliva dampened your pores, nipples pebbling as his hot breath cooled your skin when impacting the stripe. Your legs threatened to close to avoid the cold, but that thought was all but sprung from your head when his tongue returned to you.

Through panted, muffled breaths, the larger giant growled at you as he drew his slippery organ up and down your body.

“If you close your legs, plaything,” he mouthed at your skin, taking your cunt and ass into his mouth and flicking his tongue in messy circles behind his lips, “I'll bite the fucking things off. Leave them parted.”

You screamed internally at the thought, actions frozen in place as your thighs and knees became damp within the giant’s mouth. His smile only grew when he tasted your arousal beginning to pool over his tongue. Drawing your ass away from his mouth, he focussed the attention of his tongue against your slit: flicking his larger tongue against your clit to the best of his focussed abilities.

His tongue was porous, feeling each dip and elevation due to the insane size difference. It was larger than any cock you had seen in the past. The tip alone, now pointed and focussed, being of greater size than any toy you had found for yourself.

While pinning you with one hand, he reached his cock and began pumping it below you both. The drooling cock head twitched with every down thrust, the veins flooding his shaft with desire only swelling his need for you.

“That's it,” he praised you, the vibrations of his voice causing you to wail and arch your back towards his touch, “Give in to it. I'm not going to stop. Too much fun to be had between us, plaything.”

You felt the first cusps of ecstasy call to you, tingling in your toes and swelling within your chest. The muted moans and cries fleeing your lips held a gloomy echo, your eyes refusing to make contact with the beast lurking below you as he consumed your lust and drove you off the cusps of insanity.

“I can feel how close you are,” he chuckled, fucking his fist by bucking his hips down, “Let me hear you scream for me.” His thrusts were as manic as his tongue continued to flicker and swirl against your cunt.

Instead of maintaining focus of simply the tip of his tongue alone, he moved back to lengthy stripes, dressing your ass, cunt, and chest in a marriage of his saliva and your arousal each time.

It felt wrong on more levels than simply one. This giant’s touch, the way you couldn't speak, how you had no true control over yourself or how you responded to his words or actions, it was all too wrong. Just as you shook your head to attempt to free you of this internal line of questioning, your stomach clenched and sparks began to fly behind your eyes.

Euphoria bloomed in your stomach and flooded your veins with sparks and lightning. Releasing your ecstasy over the giant's tongue while screaming out in bliss, the giant moaned and chuckled down at you. Lulling and lapping, he greedily overstimulated you while you rode the waves of your high.

Pulling away, a large string of saliva connected his tongue to your cunt while he rose away from your panting and heaving form. Pumping his cock viciously, his tip began to bubble pearls of precum into his fist.

“What a pretty plaything,” he groaned out for you, his voice picking up in the corners of his throat, “I'm going to paint you to claim as mine. Look up at me now, plaything.”

His demands had your eyes meeting with the concealed gaze behind cream-coloured bandages, before your vision blurred by a crude splash of his cum meeting your face. Ropes of hot white uncoiled and burned against your head, torso, thighs, and cunt: almost drowning you in the sheer size of his load. Coughing and spluttering was all you could do as the giant barked out a cackled string of laughter.

“We are going to have so much fun together,” the giant’s voice echoed within your ears, muffled by viscous cum flooding your features.

With a fit of fiery adrenaline, you tore your hands away from his grip and sat upright. Eyes wide and manic, you continued on to release a blood curdling scream that rang throughout your quarters. Body covered in sweat, breath hitching in fear, undergarments covered with your sticky release, your eyes immediately found the door as it flung wide.

Immediately springing towards you, hands of rubber surrounded your form and coiled around you. The familiar feeling of your captain surrounding you was not unwelcome. Your arms immediately found their way to wrap around his back and bury your head in the crook of his neck.

“I couldn't move, I couldn't speak,” you sobbed manickly, curling into the embrace with your tears dampening his red best, “I was stuck, helpless, afraid. I couldn't-.”

“-Shh,” he hushed you, speaking your name slowly and quietly as he nuzzled against your head, “I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Just breathe with me, okay? Just in and out slowly. Just like you're smelling some of Sanji’s barbeque and blowing on it because the meat’s too hot.”

In your manic state, you manage to chuckle through the tears as your captain empathetically mirrored your laughter. He tightened the grip he had on you, squeezing his eyes shut and calming himself down alongside you.

He was usually a deep sleeper, but there was something about the way you screamed that seemed all too familiar to him. The helplessness, the fear, the torment. It was not a good scream to hear from anyone, least of all from his counsellor.

He invited you to serve on his ship because you had a natural gift. He couldn't put a name to it, nor could you, but you seemed to harbor a great amount of knowledge of decisions that lead to the best and worse outcomes in any given situation. Similarly to the way Nami can read the weather, you have this intuition regarding the future, knowing what would come to pass before it ever occured.

It doesn't happen often, not ever to this degree, and it could've simply been a nightmare: but it was so vivid, it caused you such great distress. Not only the vision itself, but the content of it. It was like you were trapped, and there was no one there to save you.

“When you're ready, and if you're able,” Luffy whispered against your ear, still trying to have you breathe with him with his arms surrounding you, “Tell me what happened. I'll listen, no matter if it was just a sea cow eating a part of The Sunny.”

He pulled away from your head, peering down and beaming at you with a smile. You gazed up at him through damp lashes and felt your breath control return to you. At the door to your quarters, the remainder of the crew stood in a variety of dress: from pajamas to their regular clothes, they all stood waiting for your words to come to you.

“It was a giant,” you whimpered softly, design your eyes between the two caramel orbs harboring nothing but love and understanding down at you, “And there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

“We've fought giants before,” Luffy nodded down at you, his brilliant grin still shining down on you as he smoothed your scalp with his hand, “Nothing we can't handle. We'll be right there with you, fighting the thing to the death. You'll see.” He whispered your name, holding you close and nodding down.

“That's just the thing, Captain,” you whispered back at him, breath as chilled as the grave and teeth chattering with your confession.

“You weren't there.”

“I'll see you soon, little plaything.”

Deep within the bowels of Elbaf, the larger giant chuckled with a large grin splitting up his cheeks. Cum covering his his belly, sheet discarded alongside his pants hanging limply off his ankles, chains rattling on his wrists, he continued to bark out laughter as he drew his fingers and palm over his sticky release.

Gathering the seed in the pads of his fingertips and smearing it over his flesh, he sighed out with a touch of whimsy in his tone.

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @since-im-already-here @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady @jintaka-hane @thenotsofantasticlifestory @ane5e

[toxicanonymity]

Hey Boo,

I've been seeing Joelkemons making the rounds being the best kind of dude to have around when you're crying.

Is Stepdad is having very strong feelings about all of this too? I imagine of Raider (LOML) and NW are being so soft with us, something in stepdad might respond to our hopelessly impotent rage.

I'd love to see how he reacts.

Boy howdy, tho, if I could slip into the brothel and have a big ol' Joel-pile, that shit would fix me all the way.

Thank you so much for everything you do and are.

I hope you're taking care of yourself too.

-- Cupquake <3

black tuesday

JOEL x f!READER | 1000 words

WARNINGS: 18+. Election Night. ANGST. Tears. Fears. This is intended to be a cathartic fic with some comfort but please don't read if it could be traumatic. Allusions to reproductive rights, etc. Reader is angry, esp. at men, takes it out on joel a little. Joel is supportive. Reader dacryphilia, brief smut. STEPDAD AU but you don't need to know it, and the stepcest doesn't come up.

NOTES: Sweet Cupquake, you're welcome and thank you for always being so supportive. Poor stepdad, he's normally the one needing comforting, isn't he? Yes, he has strong feelings about all this. This doesn't fit neatly in the AU timeline just roll with it. My brief post on the election is here. This will most likely be my only fic that overtly acknowledges the u.s. election. DO NOT INTERACT: TRUMP VOTERS, ANTI-CHOICE PEOPLE, MINORS.

You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment watching the news while Joel makes dinner and a huge mess in the kitchen. When the early votes are counted, we’ll see a lot more blue, they said. No, actually. Not really. You turn the volume way down so you can barely hear it. 

“Pasta’s ready,” Joel announces in a weak, sing-song voice. 

You remain on the floor. Your breathing is shallow, and it doesn’t feel real. 

Joel comes into the living room but doesn’t sit down. He stands with his arms crossed. His neck veins are bulging, his biceps are tense, his jaw clenches as he watches the screen. He’s pissed, he’s so angry watching this happen. He’s embarrassed to be a Texan. He thinks about all the women he knows. Embarrassed to be a man. 

He looks back and forth between the tv and you, and he sees your eyes are watery. He brings your glass of water from the kitchen, but you refuse it. He puts it down on the coffee table. Then, he picks up the remote control and turns off the tv. 

“Why’d you do that?” you snap. 

“It’s only makin’ ya sad,” Joel replies. “It’s still early, there’s time.” 

“Sad?? You think I’m sad?” Heat rises to your face. Your chest tightens.  

“Okay,” Joel acknowledges softly. “I can see you’re not just sad.” 

He sits down and tries to put his arm around you but you scoot over to face him. 

“All you men just go around blowing your loads everywhere and we’re the ones who have to deal with it, and you have the nerve to tell us how.” 

“I’d never tell you how to--you know that.”

“--I am so fucking tired of men talking.” 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, and sits quietly next to you for a minute. It’s hard knowing there’s nothing he can do or say, but he’s not going to leave you unless you tell him to. 

He clears his throat and asks softly, “Would anything make ya feel better?”

“Only waking up from this nightmare.”

“Yeah,” he acknowledges. 

“I don’t wanna feel better,” you begin to cry. “I want it to not happen….Like, is this real life?” 

None of it feels real. Months ago, people in stupid red hats were carrying around actual sperm cups. The highest-profile rapist in the country called himself the father of fertility, and crowds of people cheered. He said “mass deportation” and people cheered more. And then half the country voted for these sick, twisted buffoons. 

“You want some space?” Joel asks. 

“No,” you protest tearfully.

He hesitantly brushes the back of your neck with his thumb. This time, you let him put his arm around you. 

You whisper, “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“Sweetheart, it ain’t over. We got time.” 

You shake your head no, ‘cause you can feel it in your gut. 

Joel sits in silence for a moment, and you can’t see it, but he’s tearing up because he can feel you burning and he’s powerless. 

He holds you and strokes your back while you bury your face in his chest. He discreetly checks his new york times app and tries not to react out loud- it’s only getting worse. 

After a few minutes of silence, he whispers your name, and you respond, “mm?”

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. 

You look up to see his cheeks wet, his hair messy. Your heart swells with affection. Affection and… gratitude? God, the bar is in hell. But to be fair, you really love him. You’re grateful for the man he is, not the one he isn’t. 

Desire begins to stir in your chest.

Joel presses a kiss onto your forehead, then lifts your chin, and you look at each other. He brushes away a tear from your cheek. With his own cheeks still wet, he swallows, and the emotional bob of his Adam’s apple sends a rush of arousal to your core. You put your hand on the back of his neck and pull him toward you for a kiss. 

Affection and relief floods your body. It’s temporary, of course, but you let yourself have this. You let the nightmare fade into a spicy dream. 

You straddle him and he pulls you close and moans into your mouth. You kiss him desperately and feel him harden under you. He hesitates and mutters, “sorry,” trying to read the room. He pushes your thighs back, trying to put some distance between you and his hard-on. 

“Stop,” you reply, then latch onto his mouth again. He breaks away and says, “Just don’t want ya to feel like I–” 

“Shut up,” you tell him, then scoot yourself closer, your crotch firmly planted on the warm, stiffening shape in his sweatpants. You grind your hips into him. He kisses you back with increased fervor, and moans into your mouth. Kissing passionately, your loins throb warmly together and your hips move in rhythm. 

You reach between the two of you and slide your hand down his sweatpants. You palm his leaking manhood. Pressing it against his tummy, you gently move the skin on his shaft, and  He groans.

“Fuck,” he breathes, and thrusts against your hand. 

You stand up to urgently take off your pj pants. 

His man-guilt is still eating at him. Squeezing his aching hard shaft, he lets out a moan, then weakly offers, “Are you sure you wanna…”

In response, you straddle him, hot and dripping against his bare arousal.  You slide against him, throbbing and ready. Then, as you slide his tip to your entrance, you warn him, “Get it while it’s on the table.” You sink down on him and he shudders. Then he thrusts upward and moans as he bottoms out.  

“My legs’ll be closed for business soon,”  you explain. 

He closes his eyes and breathes deep as your body accommodates his.  “Fair enough,” he answers thoughtfully, then opens his eyes. “Wait. Even if my face is the customer?” 

------

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NOTES: I actually wrote three Stepdad things, and chronologically, this is no. 2 of 3. The others aren't posted yet. The first one is a standalone pregnancy scare, nothing about the election (would've been before it). And the second one is a post-election talk about contraception.

My brief post on the election is here.

Thank you for reading. Please remember to take care of yourselves <33

[yelenaslyubov]

Carmilla

main masterlist || requests || autumn fic list

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ pairing: vampire!yelena belova x fem!reader AU

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ warnings: almost smut (groping, kissing, everything but penetration/stimulation), sapphic yearning, sweet/dirty talk, mention of blood

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ description: based on the novel ‘carmilla,’ in the comfort of your family’s castle, a visitor shows up out of the blue. you are immediately intrigued, almost feeling as if you know her in some way. she entices you with her whole being and becomes the most fascinating thing you’ve ever come in contact with.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ word count: 3.3k

You woke abruptly to a loud crack of thunder. It could have been the nightmare that was keeping you from sleep, but you did not want to dwell on such devilish thoughts. You rose from your bed with a creak and fled to the window. The raindrops were pelting the glass like a stampede of cattle against cobblestone. It was almost too much for your ears to bear to be at such a distance.

You looked beyond the window of your own tower to the abyss below. Having powerful storms such as this one made the daunting castle so much more intimidating.

As you squinted your eyes, you could see the dim glow of the street lights lit up despite the storm. They flickered from a combination of rain and wind that threatened to destroy their luminescence.

You saw the poor innkeeper that fought the wind as he walked back inside from checking the stalls. It seemed as if he could almost be swept up in the wind.

Since sleep felt out of the question at this time, you made yourself comfortable against the inside of your window and waited. You hoped the rain would pass soon so the branches may stop their incessant tapping against your windows.

You felt your eyes go dark as your eyelids fluttered shut. The rain became a companion of comfort now as it steadied, as well as lulled you to sleep.

The feeling did not last long as you heard a crash from down below. It took you a moment to compose yourself and wake up again before you looked down to survey the damage. You waited a moment to see if anyone down below heard the crash and were running to help, but there was no such luck.

You pulled on your robe to cover your nightdress while you dashed down the hall to your father’s room. It turned out that he had heard the crash as well and was already on his way out of his quarters.

“Father, you heard it as well?” you asked him.

“I did, my dear! I will go down at once to see what’s the matter.”

“I will come with you!”

He must have not heard you completely or else he would have stopped you by now since you were half way down the stairwell. You fled from the front doors of the castle and you were met with immediate rainfall. Your nightgown was soaked within seconds, but you couldn’t stop now as this was turning out to be the most interesting event to happen in your recent memory.

The rain and fog was clouding your vision, so you were only able to see the scene before you once you were closer. “What is it, father?” you yelled over the rain.

“It seems to be a crashed carriage. I am going to see if anyone has been injured.”

As you approached the damage, you could make out the small carriage that had flipped over on its side. Oddly enough, there was no horse to be found that could be pulling the carriage, only the carriage itself. There seemed to be no trace of any evidence on how the carriage came to your front entrance.

“Come, quickly!” your father shouted. “There’s a woman here!”

You ran to your father’s aid and saw the woman in question. The door of the carriage was open to reveal a dark haired woman spilling out. Her dress was disheveled beyond imagination and she looked to be unresponsive.

Your father turned her over on your back and you were able to see the mystery woman’s face now. Your eyes widened and you took a step back in shock.

“What’s the trouble, dear?” father asked you.

You hesitated. “Nothing at all… just surprised.”

Surprised was not quite the word you would use. Unnerved was more fitting.

The woman’s face was something out of a dream, a dream that you had. She seemed so familiar yet so distant and new. Her face was angelic, but held a darkness that pulled you in deeper than you wanted. Even with her unconscious you could feel the mystery radiating from her skin.

“We need to get her inside, it’s much too cold to be out here,” your father instructed.

Your father did most of the work to lift her up. Once her figure was upright, you took her unoccupied arm and wrapped it around your shoulder to help her inside.

Once you were able to get her inside, you carried her up the stairs and into a guest suite. Your father rushed to the fireplace in order to get a proper fire going to heat the room as well as the mystery woman’s cold body.

You did the honors of resting the woman’s head against the chaise lounge that was placed by the fire for convenience sake. You assumed it would be best to be as close to the fire as possible granted her condition.

You stood back and watched the woman sleeping while the fire cast its warm and wavering reflection upon her. Seduction seemed to be the appropriate word to use as you stared at her. You wanted to be as close to her as possible, but also far away from her danger that you couldn’t help but feel.

“Let’s let her rest,” your father said while giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

You gave a small nod and walked out behind your father, but not before giving the woman one more peculiar look. You escorted yourself back to your room and shut the door tightly. You were sure by now that the sun would be coming up very soon.

The fire in your own room threatened to go out, so you decided to feed it more and add another log or two. Once the fire was properly maintained you found yourself in bed once again with a new change of sleeping clothes, ones that were not soaked by the storm.

You drifted off to sleep faster than you had anticipated which was a nice surprise. Your sleep did not feel entirely fulfilling as you jolted awake from a nightmare once again, but this time it was light outside. The storm seemed to be a figment of your imagination, as the sky was blue and birds were singing their morning songs. It was almost as if last night had not existed whatsoever.

The woman. You wondered where she had gone. Was she still in her room? Had she fled the castle after she had awoken? Could she be wandering the halls? The opportunities for her were endless.

You decided to try your hand at her room first. You creeped down the hallway in order to prevent the creaks in the floor from completely blowing your cover.

Your hand hovered over the door nervously. Unless the woman had run away, you knew you would run into her eventually so you tried to get it over with as you knocked lightly on the door.

“…Come in.”

A deep voice spoke from behind the door and you stepped back. You half thought that the woman would be gone, and the other part of you that believed she stayed had not realized you could be even more entranced by her.

You pushed on the door and hesitantly walked through to come face to face with the mysterious woman. Her once pleasant looking face turned even whiter when she met your eyes. She seemed to be the epitome of confusion.

“I apologize if it is too much of an intrusion, but have we met before?” she asked you.

You felt it could be an interesting question to ask if you had not felt the exact same the moment you laid your gaze upon her. “I do not believe so, but I cannot help to feel the same.”

The confusion quickly turned to realization. “Your dreams…”

“Pardon?”

“I have seen your face in your dreams. It sounds most strange, but what I say is true. I do not know how or why, but you have plagued every thought as I sleep and I have seen you just last night.”

The more she explained, the stranger it sounded. People cannot invade one another’s dreams as she says, that is preposterous.

“You have been suffering from nightmares, no?” she asked you. She snaked closer to you, almost as if she did not walk but was transported nearer.

You nodded your head reluctantly.

“How would I know that if what I said is but a lie?”

You felt like there was a point to be made with what she said, but you still were not convinced. Since you really did not want to debate the topic any further, you decided to change the subject.

“I’m sorry, but I haven’t asked your name?” you asked the woman.

“My name is Yelena, and yours?”

“My name is y/n, pleased to meet you.”

“And you as well. This situation seems quite odd indeed, so may I ask, what exactly happened?” You could not imagine how this lonely woman felt being in such an accident, so you were not sure exactly how to phrase such a story.

“Well, it was the middle of the night and there was a terrible storm that kept me awake. One minute I was asleep, and the next I heard a great noise coming from the entrance of the castle. My father and I ran outside to see what was the matter and found your carriage with no horses to be found. We felt it was in our best judgment to bring you inside and get you warm before sending you on your way to your destination.”

Yelena smiled faintly and looked towards the ground. “The thing is, I cannot remember what destination that may be.”

She had a way of looking past your eyes and directly into your soul. You were sure it would soon swallow you whole.

“Well, while you are busy thinking about that, I will have clothes for you to borrow until then. Hopefully that will be suitable?”

“Of course, of course. I appreciate your hospitality and openness to me.”

In all fairness, you didn’t have much of a choice but you did not mind either way. You hoped that someone would do the same for you. So, instead of answering, you gave one courteous nod of your head in reply.

“Would you… like a tour of our home?” You didn’t think it would hurt to ask, as you didn’t know how long her stay would turn into.

“That would be most pleasant if you don’t mind!”

“Not at all,” you smiled.

You straightened out your dress and gave her a look that insisted she follow you. She was like a quiet mouse creeping behind you, you only knew she was there occasionally when she made a peep, but her footsteps were silent.

You took her up and down the hallways and the stairs, directing her to the abundance of rooms that she could explore in her free time. You turned around often to look at her and each time you tried, it seemed as if she was looking at you all along.

It was starting to become strange the amount of times you caught her staring at you and not the architecture that was crafted inside the castle. The only thing infatuating to her was you.

The way she watched you like a predator watches its prey was something to be studied in itself. There wasn’t one move you made that she wasn’t watching. There was power in your every move and you were well aware.

You kept on the same as you began and led her to the library. “It’s not much, but this is where I spend much of my time,” you told her.

“It is the most grand thing I have ever seen. I’ve never seen so many books before!”

You watched her face light up and you felt a rush of both happiness and pity. There were plenty of places that had more books than your silly old castle, but you were happy that there was someone else to appreciate it as much as you.

She jogged along the side of the shelves and ran her fingers down each book spine. She took care in feeling each one with tender care.

“I can’t believe it! I may just have to stay here forever,” she exclaimed. You mustered a small laugh in exchange.

“You are welcome to use it during all hours.”

She walked over to you and grabbed your hands. You felt an uncomfortable surge of coldness run through your body that was triggered by her touch. You did not know something could be so cold. You tried to pull your hands away instinctually, but she held on tighter.

“Your hospitality means everything to me. Thank you so very much.” She sounded genuine, which was quite contrasting to her natural chill.

Then, leaning in close, she brought her frozen lips towards your cheek. Time seemed to stop as her lips made the journey near you.

They gently touched your cheek in a most affirmative movement that somehow still felt soft. They were just as expected; chilled to the bone. The longer she lingered close to you the less you felt like you could restrain yourself.

Her touch against you was like a siren whisper that grew stronger. In your mind, you could see her hands all over you in an unabashed manner. Those hands could trail over your bodice, down your neck, and may even try and sneak under your precisely placed gown.

In an instant, your thoughts left as soon as they appeared. It did not go unnoticed by Yelena apparently. You could see it written on her face that something bothered you, almost as if she had already read every thought that had just occurred.

“We-we must keep moving,” you instructed.

“Lead the way, y/n.” She said your name as if it commanded power, the complete opposite of what it was.

In the next few days that passed, you and Yelena grew quite close. You would find her in the library during the wee hours of the night, whether that was reading a book or simply sitting and staring out into the beyond. During the day, you found her sleeping, which was quite strange.

You couldn’t get over just how odd the woman was, regardless of your relationship with her now. She had her strange quirks, and the wild thoughts always occurred when she touched you, just like they did before. Sometimes they were stronger or weaker, but you were now convinced that Yelena could read your mind.

She wore a smirk after each moment of skin to skin that happened. This was always accompanied by your red face that took over after the thoughts had passed.

This was nothing like the thoughts that became real the night when Yelena left for good.

This particular night, she was nowhere to be found in her usual spots. You tried her room for a change, even if it was the middle of the night.

You could hear the fire crackling and the orange light glowing from the outside the door. Instead of knocking, something inside you decided to push the door open instead. You see Yelena sitting on the lounge near the fire with a book in hand.

“I was wondering when you would come and find me,” she smiled.

“I did not know I was supposed to.”

“Sure you didn’t.” She had a way of making every conversation into something quite sensual.

She patted the spot next to her, instructing you to come sit down. You anxiously walked over to her with the creaking floor below you as your guide. You plopped yourself down on the lounge with a bounce.

“What took you so long to find me, dear?” she asked, her voice dropping an octave lower. She quickly put the book down while her hand found your hair. Her fingers twirled through it so seductively, each fiber prickling against your skin and sending you shivering.

“Hmm?” she asked this time, feeling more like a demand as time went on.

“Uhm, I checked all your usual spots and did not seem to find you. I heard the crackling of the fire and it led me here.”

“Good thing you found me then hmm.”

She had moved from twirling your hair to almost petting it. Then, her hand brushed against your shoulder and that is when the thoughts found you once again, but they did not feel exactly like your imagination. The thoughts that impeded your mind felt more like a promise rather than a dream this time.

Her nails dragged up and down your arm which felt almost like lines of frozen crystals were left in its place. Her lips followed, their chilly touch exploring the bare parts of your shoulder. The closer they became to your neck, the more you wanted to give in. You were sure now that this was not a dream.

“Why would it be a dream?”

Your body was rigid after the question. She indeed knew every thought you had had about her and this was the finale.

“I waited so long to be able to touch you like this. Knowing it’s no longer living in your mind makes it so much sweeter,” she cooed.

You found yourself leaning against the side of the lounge while Yelena had her way with you. It was the same feeling as before, but this time it was more real. Because it was real. She was real.

She kissed on every untouched part of your neck as her long nails dug into the space behind your neck. It took everything in you not to scream from the pain and pleasure.

“It’s alright to feel it. I want you to feel everything,” she whispered, her voice once again resembling a siren call.

Her hands were everywhere she could reach before making it too risqué. You had never experienced anything quite this heavenly in your life. There was nothing that was stopping you to act on your feelings, but you were so distracted by Yelena that you felt paralyzed.

She soaked up the feeling and taste of your skin as she moved down your arms and your legs. Each brush of her lips and tongue make your hair stand on edge and your back arch.

“Almost done, sweet girl.”

Almost done? You did not know that there was an end you were waiting for.

Before reaching under your dress, Yelena stopped. She came up to you once again where you could see her dilated pupils, hungry for something you were uncertain of.

This time when she smiles, there was a mischievous flare that you did not miss. In addition, you did not miss the way that her teeth seemed to change before your eyes. Either way, you seemed stuck in a daze that did not quit.

She lowered her mouth down to the side of your neck and kissed and sucked. The action became stronger… and stronger. It reached its peak before a sting of pain.

“Ouch!” You were suddenly brought out of your trance and sat up. There was a trickle of blood that started at the top of your neck and ran down over the front of your dress.

You got up from the lounge and walked across the room to find something to dab the blood off. There was a sting when you placed the cloth over your injury.

You spend so much time caring for your wound that you had forgotten all about Yelena who was recently suffocating you with lust. You looked around the room and she was nowhere to be found.

To your surprise, it was light outside and you were not sure exactly how that happened so quickly. You went to search the castle looking for her. She was not in the library, her room, your room, or anywhere in between.

Yelena seemed to vanish before your very eyes, as there was no trace of the mysterious woman you had come to call a friend.

All that was left was the lust she had burned into you as her final goodbye.

.

.

.

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