#my stand in tong

[apparently-i-am-an-adult]

So I can watched episode 7 of My Stand in yesterday and I’m having some feelings.

I know we’re all loving Ming’s realization and what that means for him and Joe, but I’ve been thinking about what it says about Tong.

Think about what the audience knows about him initially: he’s a huge action star with a big fan base. From behind, his stand-in is identical to him. His girlfriend is the daughter of a rich family and her brother is desperate for his attention.

The first time we see him, he’s late for the shooting. He walks in with food without a care and says he would have come in later if he’d known they were going to have to move locations. The next bit I remember is the pool rescue scene, and he ditches that and has Joe do it. He’s so uninterested in his job he doesn’t even want to go to a press conference for a movie he’s starring in.

This is the biggest action star in the film industry and we don’t see him act once.

For me, I’m getting the implication that after Tong became famous, he got bored with the actual process of acting, but still uses his notoriety to do basically whatever he wants. So what if he shows up late? What are they going to do, fire him?

Even when the director threatens to kick him out of the movie if he doesn’t go to the press conference, he doesn’t even flinch. To him, it’s an empty threat. It’d be like kicking Tom Cruise out of the Top Gun franchise or Mission: Impossible.

Another crewmember even says the movie will be a disaster if they replace Tong with someone else, let alone a stand-in.

We the audience know that Joe has been Tong’s stand in for a while. He’s clearly been picking up a lot of the slack that Tong has been dropping, and he’s good at what he does, and Tong knows it. He knows it better than anyone.

Episode 7 shows us the scene that made Tong famous, and then reveals that he didn’t even do it. Joe did. And nobody knows because Joe was new and didn’t get credited. All the fame, all the notoriety, it should be Joe’s. And I think Tong is aware of it. Not that he thinks Joe deserves it, not at all. But he is 100% aware of what Joe does for him. Joe does all the work, and he gets to slap his name on there and take the credit.

The episode 7 reveal is fantastic because it adds so much more depth to what we have in episode 4: Tong isn’t just enraged at the audacity his stand-in has to try and replace him, he’s terrified because he knows he could.

TL;DR: Tong is a hack and he sits on a throne of lies. I can’t wait for this bitch to get his comeuppance.

[arthoewholoveseverything]

I just had a horrible thought that I wish to share with you all.

I think by now we have seen the shot from the trailer of Joe in the wheelchair, right? At first I thought Tong must have sabotaged a scene in a film or something for him to get hurt.

But after watching the teaser for episode ten, I started thinking. What if those debt collectors mistake Joe for Tong from the back and attack him instead?

This is probably a long shot and not actually going to happen. It would also be super fucked because DAMN can't Joe have a break????

I just can't stop thinking about it.

Thoughts?

[heretherebedork]

Joe was convinced Ming would never change but this? Ming trading his privacy in the hope that Joe would see him and come back? This is the first moment that Joe truly believes that Ming is changing. That this can be real. That Ming means everything he says.

Because Ming changed in so many ways but this was a way that showed Joe exactly how much he meant.

I love angry Ming. This boy was gonna commit a murder in a crowded theater in front of fans and cameras. No hesitation. Nothing. The only thing holding him back was Joe himself. Tong would have been punched right in the nose, right there, if not for him.

And, again, it's about how Ming has grown. It's about how he changed from losing Joe and from getting him back. It's how Ming isn't the same selfish person he was then, he's still damaged and hurt but he's not the same.

Ming has changed. And Joe knows. Joe, who has loved Ming all along but never let himself because he knew the risks, sees how Ming has remade himself in his love and his loss. And Ming still aches and Ming still doesn't know how regulate a single emotion but he does it all for Joe. He does it all with more self-awareness and with love and with this knowledge of who people really are.

And Tong is the real monster here. As we all know. Right off the cliff.

(But Joe is tired and he doesn't want to fight and Ming is scared, so scared, so hurt, aching and screaming inside and the family that supposedly loves him is what's going to destroy the one person that Ming actually loves. And, for the first time, Ming doesn't go after Joe. Because he showed Joe all his love and all the ways he changed and, in the end, he was still destroyed by the family that forces him to hurt himself and in the end he will choose that destruction for himself)

Ming chooses this. He lets Joe walk away so he won't be hurt by what happens but he still tells his father, he still stands in front of his mother and Tong and says I am not yours. I am Joe's and I am my own.

This is Ming's final growth. To stand up to the people who are using him and say no more, to say that he will choose the pain and the loss and the isolation over this loneliness, over being used, over the fear that has always been held over his head. To step out on his own for the sake of love, to say all of this without Joe there but rather because Joe isn't there.

[respectthepetty]

Backshots & Smiles

Yes, I'm being crass and this is a sexual innuendo, but go with it . . .

Ming loves Joe's back because it allows him to think he is with Tong.

We know this.

Because the series has shown this several times.

And Joe knows it too now.

But the third episode showed us that Ming actually fell in love with Tong because of Joe's back.

Therefore, Ming really fell in love with Joe first.

But he didn't realize it (until it was too late).

Even when Ming initially met Tong, Ming saw Tong's back first with his side profile.

And Tong's back at the restaurant reminded Ming of Joe.

And the meal Joe made for him their first night together - face first

The show has constantly told us that Ming is attracted to Joe's back because of its connection to Tong.

But the show has also told us Ming is truly in love with Joe because he IS Joe, not Tong's stand in which is why Ming, who only has sex with Joe from behind, was finally willing to let Joe top from behind.

And it's why the posters have shifted as well, so we now see Joe's face and Ming's back.

Unlike Ming and Joe who switch faces/places (there is a deeper meaning there about outward perceptions versus personal identity but that's not for here), Tong is the "face" . . . but that is all he is and all he will only be.

But I think the show is even stating Ming and Joe are one versatile unit as in they are connected and evolving and Tong is the static outlier.

Unlike Ming in the elevator, Sol had no recognition of Joe but then again Ming has been in love with Joe forever, even if it was initially through his back.

And Joe has never seen Ming as just a face as so many other do.

Which is why it's important that Ming rarely smiles.

Because Ming does smile.

A lot.

When he is with Joe.

So the staff members noting that Ming only smiles when he works with Tong is telling.

Because I don't think Ming is smiling because it's Tong.

He is smiling because Tong reminds him of Joe.

Ming, the man who is still living in Joe's house, making two meals with the bowls Joe bought, mending the broken mugs with their names on them, using the personalized pillowcases, and wearing the watch Joe bought him, is using Tong has a stand-in for Joe.

Joe is no longer the stand-in. He is the main character, which is why Ming told *new* Joe's BACK that people only liked him because of his resemblance to *old* Joe.

Ming no longer wants just a stand-in, but the whole person, so when he gets Joe back, he will always look him in his face.

And smile.

[sunshinechay]

That is the face of a man who has realized he will never be able to manipulate Ming against Joe ever again.

[zhouxiangs]

MY STAND-IN (2024) | Episode 10

[clairedaring]

Yes, P'Tong? I was fired from the project by the director. And he will replace me with Joe. What? I think this is Wut's plan for sure. He wants to push his people to be famous. Before this, he pushed Sol to get a supporting role. And now, with Joe as a leading role, they can have a 'ship couple' like they intended. Sol? Yes.

MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.04

[takeadeepbreathandexist]

Joe sneezing while orgasming is really going to be the nail in the coffin for Ming figuring this out isn’t it?

[kennyomegasweave]

Ming DID NOT put on that cunty blazer just to lose Joe.

His mom and Tong should have known he wasn't going to go down without a fight as soon as they saw him show up in the Hillary Clinton. Man meant BUSINESS with that.

[itsza]

imagine being this guy:

u r probs both hyped and stressed bout this super elaborate stunt scene, and its going perfectly well till the mega rich stoic model walks in all teary and ends up hugging the new stuntman on the team, crying and apologizing about how its been him all along

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

ming is the worst man alive and an absolutely besotted maniac. he wears a lesbian aunt outfit to pull his coming out cunty power move. i hate him so much he's the air i breathe he's the morning fucking birdsong of my every waking day etc etc

like tong...you are stupendously dumb for this. absolute "forgot about the attack dog's teeth bc i'm holding the leash" behaviour. THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE IN LEASH OWNERSHIP BROTHER I HOPE YOU CAN CLIMB TREES

[miss0atae]

Tong wanted to make Ming yield to get what he wants so he used his master card...

His mom-in law!

Only to have Ming pull a Uno reverse card on him and use his Dad (even if I'm not sure it wasn't a master stroke).

Tong didn't see that coming (neither was mom) !

What a very functional and healthy family. 😅

[heretherebedork]

I just cannot get past how thrilled Joe was to be building this home with Ming, to be chosen by someone, to feel like he was being loved and feel like he had a reason to go home and a place to be himself only to constantly have that thrown in his face by Tong and then to have Ming drunkenly lean on his shoulder and call him Tong and to realize that everything he thought he was building and making was a lie and then to still put Ming in bed. To still bring him to the bed and not just leave him on the floor? To have to learn that he was a stand in and then to have to clean up the couple mugs that had made him so happy a second before and now represented a betrayal so thorough he doesn't even know how to handle it?

And he still put Ming in his bed. Ming left him on the floor of his own home and he took the time to tuck Ming in before he cleaned up the shards of his heart that shattered across the floor.

All Joe wants is a home where someone is happy to see him, where someone he loves awaits his return and he thought he had it, he thought he had the family and love he wanted and now he's realized that what he has is nothing. Just broken shards and the jagged edges of their names mingled together on the floor.

[respectthepetty]

*about my stand-in* A chained up kidnapping plot? And it's only episode 4? Why I never!

I originally thought it was going to be sexy times with Joe's hands tied behind him when he lifted Ming's shirt with his mouth.

Only to realize during the fourth episode's previews that Ming was going to fuck Joe over.

And yet . . . I loved it because it actually showed how crazy Ming is . . .

ABOUT JOE!

We know Ming is jealous and possessive, but he didn't hold Joe hostage to help Tong but because Tong activated Ming's batshit crazy behavior the second he mentioned Sol.

So, like, good for him really loving Joe in a completely fucked up way where he'd rather tie Joe up, feed him, and spend all his money on him just to keep him away from his friend.

That's the toxic behavior I like to see!

What a fucking pathetically insane asshole.

I love him the most-est.

[vegaseatsass]

Rewatched My Stand-In eps 2 and 3 tonight, and I'm definitely newly fascinated with Ming POV/Ming's internal concept of what was happening between him and Joe that entire time. I forgot just how much we got of Ming's home life and family in episode 2, and my brain is abuzz trying to connect all the dots. His relationship with May is so interesting. She clocks that he and Joe are together on Christmas, and is immediately careful to conceal it not just from their parents but from Tong. May and Ming have this "us against the world" vibe where they protect and cover for each other, going back to May giving herself pneumonia saving Ming from drowning. I absolutely believe there's more going on in their family than mom pressuring Ming to marry women any time he goes home - I actually suspect things about his family are being obscured for future painful reveals - but May is a safe space for him. Until Tong is added into the picture, and Ming has to flee the country for four years to get away from his big feelings. It's just kind of bonkers to me that he had this intense, safe and presumably very grounding relationship with his sister, but made his obsession with a random movie star the centerpiece of his world instead. Why did he imprint on Tong? Is it really just Joe's sexy back muscles that drew him in? Did he think if he could land a famous movie star his parents would accept him being with a man? Was it subconscious self-sabotage of his only safe relationship lol? I genuinely have no idea!! What I am stuck on though is when he told May he was working through something, and would tell her when he was ready, but he promised he'd get through it. On rewatch, it seems very obvious that what he's talking about is the torch he's carrying for Tong, so to me that's a reveal that he's deliberately trying to move on with Joe - not using him as a sex doll replacement, but throwing himself into something real. (What's messy obviously is that Ming started this for the proxyfucking, but I think overhearing Joe confess his love for Ming to Sol is when Ming started making a determined effort to choose Joe.) There's also his reaction to Joe's Christmas gift where the watch becomes a metaphor for Joe himself (vs. Tong): Ming doesn't need the "top" one, why can't he want the "normal" one?

The first time I was watching this, I assumed that Ming just has no internal awareness of how important Joe is to him, he just feels pure need and acts very very normal when his emotional support stand-in is ripped away. I assumed Ming believes he's in love with Tong and thinks he's just passing some time with Joe. It doesn't help that every time Joe presses him on anything emotional Ming shuts him down or outright negs him lolllll

But like for example, in the scene where they're shopping together and Joe gets excited about the couple mugs, first Ming snaps "What makes you think we're a couple?", then he tries to mitigate his slip by playing it off: "after living with me, you'll realize you don't want me as a boyfriend." His kneejerk impulse to shut Joe down and say cruel things is imo a defense mechanism, a really maladaptive one that helps convince Joe later on that there was never any love there, but I'm starting to think it's triggered in response to actually wanting the intimacy and primacy that Joe is pushing for, and being terrified of that.

It would make so much sense for somebody who is terrified of needing anybody else, of being vulnerable or feeling anything real, to decide they're in love with a complete asshole movie star who uses their family for money and them personally for favors, and shape their life around that. Especially now that I understand how young Ming was when he first fixated on Tong (17ish??), I just feel like that entire imprinting is your classic teenager-who-is-not-ready-to-be-in-a-real-relationship parasocial spiral. I used to do it with male celebrities too!!! (I am a lesbian. lmfaooo)

It's interesting because while there's something conceptually romantic about the back Ming first got obsessed with being Joe's all along, it ultimately doesn't really matter to me WHO the onscreen person that he fixated upon was. What matters is how ill-equipped Ming has proven to handle real feelings for a real person in front of him, and the journey he has from here to learn how to human. I can't wait. P.S. Other thing I forgot happened in episode 2: - Ming made drunk!Joe sleep on the floor of Joe's own home - BEFORE Ming moved in or had any claim to the space - AFTER Ming told Sol he would take "really really good care of Joe" as a way of trying to claim Joe in front of the competition His journey to human is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong one, methinks... 😈

[zhouxiangs]

MY STAND-IN (2024)