#my sister hates m***
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jee giving people, my sister was screaming bloody hell at the nta and threatening to burn that place because of the maths section and giving questions from deleted portions and stff. guys was it that bad???? i mean, by the time i had given mine maths actually started to get tougher than ever. anyways, jee chemistry has always been the superior subject ever and in this essay i will-
#also to add in#my sister hates m***#now and she is writing a 200 plus word essay on how to murder him#and she is screaming at me#bc i 'inspired' her when i explicitly told her jee business is hell 😭#being the older sister i no fun guys#yeah i think whenever im gonna visit she will probably murder me#okay time over guys it was a fun time#but also jee givers if the paper was really that bad it doesn't matter y'all gave your best 💞 and that matters
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Content warning???? This kinda suggestive???
I don't know honestly I've never posted something openly suggestive without noticing I hope- Just.. I just wanna warn people who might be not okay with the theme-
▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬
GONNA BE A SMITTEN MITTEN TILL THE DAY YOU DIE?
Aka, AbelBunny brainrot wins once again-
#LySr art#art#traditional art#dialtown fanart#dialtown abel#dialtown bunny#dialtown#content warning????#i'm so confused#and anxious#About posting this#AbelBunny brainrot real!!!#You don't know how much#I hate them#but i love them#Is this a coping mechanism??#M is for MMMM MEN#Also my sister walked and saw what I was drawing and she asked if Bunny is a girl#Hoo boy-#ahem anyway
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Hmgnhm coughing up an au. Have some undercooked doodles
#vanny is supposed to have that carpet sample fursuit vibe yk#ok um. whats the deal with silly willy. well he's still fucked up and kills children but he cares about his own in this au!!#he doesnt regret any of the murders his only regret is involving his kids#so hes still stuck in ultimate hellscape#um. mike burning his dad for the first time is a big misunderstanding#cause at this point he's like oh fuck my dad is out there and he murdered all those kids and killed my sister hes gonna kill m e#so he burns down the place and goes about his day#and vanny is like#inspired by his crimes but not like ooo possessed by an ai#cause i hate that it feels like its bringing up unnecessary sci fi shit to the table#anyway she is the one who creates glitchtrap#its basically bonzi buddy if it was on steroids and also made your animatronics aggressive#fnaf au#ill make up more stuff jts almostidnight for me hello#oh yeah i forgot about glammike#uhhhh#charlie is the one to bring mikey boy back#cause a he can atone for killing his little brother by not sucking and helping this kid who's about to get his kidneys chewed out by monty#and b . so mike you know what's a computer right. well you gotta hit a bootcamp cause you gotta dismantle that bonzi buddy shit#and maybe stop vanny from killing anymore kids
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#freeze response is all well and effective until youve been sitting in the same position staring at the same spot for a solid ten minutes#goddddd i (nuanced) my parents. god fucking damnit i know they care i know the school cares but this is not a care that can be helpful to m#because i cant take an offered hand and i am too prideful to ask#and i hate to struggle in front of an audience! so i will live with my hate and fear and guilt and shame until enough time has passed#for me to be rid of them. i know i need help for fucks sake i of all people know best that i need help.#but every time i have seen a psychologist i have come out drained and angry and tired#and with everything going on. i dont want to waste myself on something that probably wont even help#if anyone irl finds out that i have npd or bpd i will get dragged through the muck for being Like That. the stigma is high enough.#nobody is going to be nice about it. obviously. every problem i have had is my fault. i self impose my own social isolation. (irl that is)#im not going to tell myself to a stranger who does not understand and will report my every move to people who care about/cause my pain#however the good thing is. they cant make me talk. the power of silence is excellent.#“[second deadname] dont you think you should get some help about that [redacted]? if there's a problem you should deal with it”#you cannot say that when every fight in this fucking family ends with me going to comfort my sister and dad going to comfort you#and then promptly pretending it never happened. you can't tell me not to ignore my problems you fucking taught me to#anyways. i am going to finish my homework and ragework on the mama animatic and probably pass out in class. again.#personal posts
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the only thing that can make me interested in superhero media is if it doubles as a soap opera and also all the characters have deep psychological issues so basically what im saying is that miraculous ladybug is the only superhero media that has ever appealed to me
#i just hate action movies#my sister has dragged me to her little m*rvel movies and the thing is that i will fall asleep everytime#i dont want to see boring ass characters beating ppl up in boring pg ways#i want whatever tf is going on with the agreste household#mlb
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i have to admit i think about mark blackthorn in "tales from the shadowhunter academy" at least once a week
#'helen julian livia tiberius drusilla octavian. and emma. you see? i have not forgotten. every night no matter what has happened during the#day no matter if i am torn and bloodied or so bone-tired i wish i were dead-#i look up at the stars and i give each star a brother's name or a sister's face. i will not sleep until i remember every one.#THE STARS WILL BURN OUT BEFORE I FORGET.'#'there is nothing wrong with ty but he is different and the clave hates all that is different.-#they will try to punish him for being who he is. THEY WOULD PUNISH A STAR FOR BURNING.'#'[tavvy] is so little. he won't remember dad or m- or his mother. he's the littlest thing. they let me hold his hand when he was born and-#his head fit into the palm of my hand. i can still feel his weight there even when i cannot grasp his name. i held him and i knew i had to-#support his head: that he was mine to support and protect. forever. oh but forever lasts such a short time in the mortal world.-#he will not remember me either. maybe drusilla will forget as well. i do not think so though.-#drusilla learns everything by heart and she has the sweetest heart of us all. i hope her memories of me stay sweet.'#'jules. my artist. my dreamer. hold him up to the light and he would shine a dozen different colors. all he cares about is his art and-#his emma. he will try to help helen of course but he is still so young. they are so young and so easily lost.'#'“helen julian livia tiberius octavian. and emma” mark whispered his voice low and revered. one simon recognized from the synagogue-#from the voices of mothers calling the children from all the times and places he had heard people call on what they held most sacred.'#“are you here to save me?”#i was unwell when i read that#i think about that quote so much#also also there's more#“i might as well be dead for all the good i am to my brothers and sisters.”#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME#honourable mention to simon's response: “'oh mark blackthorn what are they doing to you?' simon whispered.”#also “all that is good and true is lost.”#aaand#ok i am done now#have a nice day<3333#tales from the shadowhunter academy#tftsa#simon lewis#simon lovelace
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why do men
#UGHHHHHHH. trying to sort out room allocations for my uni house next year and. hang on i need to set the scene#firstly there's 5 of us. secondly - and crucially - in that 5 there's only one guy. we'll refer to him as housemate M#now this guy is like a little brother to me. i love him. he's great. our sports club thinks we're either cousins or dating. great guy#apart from one tiny issue: he's got mad only child syndrome despite in fact having an older sister#so he doesn't want to share. he doesn't want to compromise. he especially doesn't want to take one for the team and have the small room#that no one wants bc it's small and doesn't have a mirror. this is where the guy thing comes in bc the rest of us are all girls#and we each Need Mirrors. we also just Have More Stuff. and not to be a misandrist but he's a man how much space does he really need#so this is already a problem bc we've taken months to even get to the point where we're actually figuring this out#and now!!!!!! housemate M is being obstreperous!!!!!!! he refuses to take said small room!!! he wants a big one!!!#he's forcing housemate Z to give up the room she originally wanted and making her take the small room!! he's being a dick!!#and i HATE THIS bc i KNOW what's going to happen#I'M going to have to take one for the team and take this miniscule room that won't fit my stuff and will doubtless trigger my claustrophobi#just so HE can be comfortable!!!#this is making me so mad. this is making housemate Z so mad. why are men like this. he's not even 19 yet get a GRIPPPP#BECAUSE ALSO!!!!! housemates M and H did JACK FUCKING SHIT for this house. they contributed ZERO to this whole process#me and Z and J did EVERYTHINGGG. so why are me and Z now being forced to compromise??????#I HATE LIVING WITH OTHER PEOPLE. SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD#uni life#<- if it doesn't KILL ME FIRST#2nd year
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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The real reason I stopped playing Three Houses is bc when I had to do that map where you have to fight Flayn (I'm actually not sure if you Have To fight here or if you can just avoid her) I got so unbearably sad at the thought just inconsolably heartbroken that I. Abandoned both of my runs (was playing CF and church route at the same time bc I thought it would be funny + that's exactly how I played Birthright/Conquest)
#fire emblem#fe3h#JSKSBKDJAJSJ and the reason i can't pick it up again actually is bc. i HATE CALENDAR SYSTEMS AS GAMEPLAY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#if you put a calender in a video game and it has like real effects on the game and how you play it. that is my very own torture nexus.#i have. time blindness.#but also idk if its that exactly here BUT. i also just couldn't work w how confined everything was#like you have to do This Thing Right Now no breaks no personally assigned side quests no freedom. to get stupid w it. UNBEARABLE.#LET ME OUT OF HERE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#flayn#in my mind she was already ny daughter. i was playing as m!byleth but i was already planning a run to romance seteth.#SAD. well i can always ask my sister to cover lore blindspots. and see if she's planning on doing a run again#so i can watch HSJAHSJHSK (some games are just. better. that way.)
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like peeling oranges and feeding u i’d get the pulp under my fingernails and get my hands all sticky from peeling the stringy bits off for u just for u cause idk i would die for you i guess . does this make sense
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feeling like a very unique type of sick tbh
dry cough, malaise, weird throat feeling but not sore throat all together
but like, thats it, and theres no fever
#i swear to god if i have covid again im gonna be real upset#i can smell and taste still so idk#blughh i dont wanna deal with this i dont see anyone#this only started after this past weekend when i seen my baby sister over ;m; no one said anything abt being sick either i#hate this so much#im glad im not sick with anything else but i really dont wanna feel this rn and not be sure yknow?#with colds i know im sick bc ill get stuffy#andim not at all#the cough is annoying but its not as frequent as covid was#but the overall nasty sick feeling i think is the most unnerving and uncomfortable
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when the plot developments hit just ✨wrong✨
#can’t believe the 2k24 plot has progressed to the point where the weekend has ended… s i g h#i don’t want the weekend to eeeeeeeeeenddddddddd#wasted yet another weekend reading a facepalm-worthy manhwa. i want my weekend back </3#m an. the main plot point of that manhwa was just the entitled af sister poisoning everyone and evading consequences until the end#seriouslyyyyyyy first she poisoned the fl,then she tried to poison the fl’s husband (who was also her lover)#then she poisoned herself to bid farewell to her affair child. and th e n she poisoned her dad too bc he said no to her marrying the emperor#and *then* she poisoned the emperor himself with potato sprouts while trying to poison the fl *again*#and t h e n she was roped into a cheap plot to off the emperor by stabbing him with a poisoned needle by a (very meta tbh) guy#i mean. guy handed her the needle and was like ‘ok do what you’ve always been doing and poison the emperor for me.’ and she went ‘ok’#and they had the 2 most pointless brother characters i’ve ever seen.#first bro was some 15 y.o. affair child bro of the fl’s first husband who p much just existed to inherit the husband’s estate#and the second bro was the affair child bro of the emperor: a perfectly nice young man who was unfairly hated by said emperor#and. like. l o l. the 2 pointless bros were like the only likeable characters in the entire story and they barely appeared in it#the first husband had every single possible undesirable trait a man could have rolled up into a single guy#and the emperor had a wafer-thin backbone and a mad case of babyface. like. the 15 year old boy looked older than him h e y#and the fl was somehow both a skilled opportunist and a master of missing opportunities at the same time#and man. the fl had just a single (1) maid who looked like tomoya enstrs (but with a bob cut)#i don’t even remember the maid’s name; i just called her ‘bob tomoya’. sorry for the slander tomochin you’re a cool dude#i’ve never seen a main cast as unlikeable as this one lmao. i mean. at least the [redacted] anime had juri#the plot was a pointless mess in general too. it went from 100 to 10000 in no time flat for no reason at all#it kinda felt like they were just throwing plot twists for the sake of throwing plot twists#and ofc the fl successfully resolved every problem that came her way bc o f c she did. flashtag girlboss and all ig#but the best part of it all (imo) was the improperly placed jewellery assets. they aren’t even angled consistently across progressive panels#they aren’t even shaded either. just plopped on there. it really takes you out of the setting esp if it’s during a serious scene#i liked how i kept getting an ad about cheating in marriages while reading it though. it really added to the experience#i’d rate that series a 2/10: needs more assets and half brothers#time to find a new overy melodramatic telenovella-esque series to binge next weekend ig… last week’s was better thoughhhh#at least that one had the villainess experience her downfall as consequences of her own actions and it was quite satisfying ngl#hm. i think i need a new hobby. before the word ‘villainess’ becomes a permanent part of my vocabulary
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whenever i watch shows like down to earth with zefron or ride with norman reeedus i always get so stressed when they go into some cafe or store or company or wherever cos i'm like. if some celebrity rolled up to the cafe i work at with their camera crew etc i'd be like. okay well i quit. bye. you ain't ever gettin me on camera or trying to answer if the coffees good
#then u have ppl like my sister who was like 'hell yeah sign me UP. if someone came into my work like that i'd be volunteering'#she's a people person tho. i am not#ANYWAY im watching ride and norman just asked the girl at the pie shop about the pies and then asked what her fav was#aka my top two most hated questions. bitch read a menu. don't ask what my fav is cos i dont have a fav i just work here!!!!#m#text
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beaver gnawing on wood noises
#purrs#delete later#this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or#idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who#like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different.#and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the#knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know#there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find#magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o#one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me#the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all#these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live#with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it.#and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other.#and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so#hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they#are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who#im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all#appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a#symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will#never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want#love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3#like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling#and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and#bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.
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my dear sister,
it is not fair
that you grew up with a different mother.
and when i need you the most
you're miles away.
#vent#to my sister who grew up with my mom supporting the fact that she's bisexual#and watching drag's race with us#while i had to grow up with my mom telling m that the doesn't think my sister was ever bi#saying that all teens think they're bisexual#and ''they/thems''#and ''binary''#and that's wrong#even worse#that's the d3vil#AHH I HATE THIS
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had the most miserable experience today.
#Got invited to the party of someone I know and like well enough. And it ended up being a lot of people younger than me which is fine#But I also felt a little left out#And it wasnt like the kind of younger than me where they like need help playing the games and stuff#Oh also all of them were from a church youth group so that adds something#And I wanted to leave at 5:30. But my sister wanted to stay a while longer so we stayed.#And somehow my brother showed up#Well I know how he got there but he wasnt supposed to come#But I had to wait even longer since there were then 3 people I had to take home. But my brother told me he wanted us to go to the store to#buy a plushie for his girlfriend#Which on the surface is very cute. But it actually sucks bc his girlfriend is a secret.#And on the way to the store. I already wanted to go home but the party host called my sister bc my sibling left their phone at the party#And my sister said 'oh we will just turn around' but I was eager to get home and I said to the sibling who lost their phone that they shoul#pay me a couple buck s for the gas to make a return trip to the party. Also I had eaten a cookie that was contaminated somehow while I was#driving so here I was trying to coordinate getting the phone back and also trying to not ingest the rancid tasting cookie AND trying todriv#And I ended up hitting the curb loudly while getting into the parking lot at the store. My sibling who lost their phone got out of the car#And started to walk away. I raced after them and they told me that they were just going to go home#I told them no way in hell was I letting them go in the dark by themselves with no phone. They did agree to come back with the rest of us.#but very grudgingly#We got the plush of fucking course he picked the most massive one. And I had to pay bc he didnt have cash on him. And I cant even vent to m#mom abt this bc explaining this would mean letting out abt my brothers girlfriend and he already fucking hates me so that would only make y#Life worse. And I dont know how he has a girlfriend bc he is so mean to me and I dont know why anyone would find him compelling#And hes 5 years younger than me and I've never dated. I'm not exactly in a rush to date but I'd like to have SOME experience.#And hes been dating her for a while too. I told him he cant just have this covered for him forever hes gonna have to come clean one day#And so I'm reeling and having an awful time mentally bc I think I've severely hurt the feelings of the one sibling who likes me#And I had to go to the store when I really just wanted to go home and I had my sister giving pointed comments abt my decisions and the fact#Might have been poisoned by a rancid cookie and I have no one to tell abt this and to top it all off I feel like none of them even understa#How incredibly stressful and awful this made me feel#I am simply not going to take them places for the next month unless I absolutely have to#Bc thats the only power I have in this situation#Also my most minor guilt is I set out to post less vents on tumblr. And this is a vent so :(
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