#my sister has (had?) dyspraxia

[dragonfly0808]

Tecna: The Thesis

This one has been a long time coming I know

First Things First

The first words I have for Tecna in my character profiles are tech nerd child, but she has so much more depth than that, even more than I’d ever originally planned

One of the things I really wanted to get across with Tecna is that is not and has never been an ice queen or unfeeling or cold, just bad with communication and her way of showing affection is atypical

While writing s1, I wrote her as autistic coded but was very hesitant to confirm her as autistic since I really did not want to accidentally write her autistic traits in an offensive or just misrepresentative way, but, after seeing my portrayl of her landed well with a lot of commenters who were part of the autistic community, I decided to do my research and properly commit to portraying her as autistic (whilst of course, never making it her full personality, just a part of who she is)

To me, Tecna is one of the most compelling characters to write, since she has a huge heart and holds a lot of love for her family and the Winx and, over the course of the seasons, we see her get better at communicating that whilst never forcing herself to conform or change to do it the ‘normal’ way

Family Matters

Aside from Riven, I think Tecna is the one who benefited the most from the changes I made to her family

I gave her a big sister and a little brother as well as loving parents who raised them all in a farm on the domestic side of Zenith, that focuses on farming and crops

After I committed to writing Tecna as autistic, I chose to portray nearly her entire family as neurodivergent, her dad is autistic and has ADHD, her mom has dyspraxia, her brother has ADHA as well as dyspraxia, her big sister being the only neurotypical one

The reason for this was because i wanted to portray her parents as always has taking Tecna’s needs/triggers into account and accommodate for all of their childrens needs and never try to change who they are; this is why from the get go, Tecna is unapologetic about who she is and what she needs, having never once been taught or pushed to mask.

Tecna in the OG always had a sense of absolute confidence and in my mind, giving her an understanding family who always embraced her as she was would be a great way of explaining why that is.

Also, I just really wanted to give her a loving, fluffy family since so many other families in the rewrite have issues and problems

SPOILERS FROM HERE FOR SEASON 3, THE OMEGA ARC AND SEASON 4 PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP!!!

A Frozen Loss

Now, from the moment I knew I was going to rewrite s3, I knew the Omega Arc was going to be one of the hardest and angstiest to write

i feel like both in the OG and in the fandom, Tecna can often be underrated and underused and I wanted to take the chance to show why I love this character so much and how she is an integral part of the group and there is no Winx without Tecna

In a sense, yes, Tecna is the brains of the group, she is the strategist and the one who comes up with a 27 step plan and the tech genius. But she is also the glue. She’s probably one of the most loved characters in the group, every single one of the girls and the boys have a very special and unique bond with Tecna, partially because of her odd way of showing affection and love

When Tecna cares about someone, she shows it even if she doesn’t always know how to say it, everyone knows it and loves her for it.

The Omega Arc also gave me a chance to show how resilient and smart Tecna is. Like I mentioned, she’s a strategist and a chronic overthinker and our girl doesn’t know how to back down, she’s determined and a survivor.

After the Omega Arc; surviving by herself for a week in a hostile planet and losing both her right leg and left hand, there is of course a huge shift in her character.

I chose to have her lose limbs to fully push how traumatic and life-changing the Omega Arc is not just to Tecna, but to all the Winx. After Omega, Tecna becomes a bit more comfortable with physical contact and starts to question her priorities and what she wants with her life… which leads us to-

Potential Can be Suffocating

One thing I thought I could do with Tecna was to have her shift her priorities when it comes to her plans for the future, going from being determined to be a buisness woman to realizing that she, while she still wants to be successful, it’s no longer all she wants

I think we all know how damaging hustle culture can be sometimes and, to incorporate smth a bit more personal, as someone who was always seen as ‘the smart one’/‘the one who’s gonna maintain us’ in the family amongst the cousins, I’ve felt the looming pressure of being the one in the family with the most ‘potential’. And as I’ve grown up, I’ve kinda realized that I don’t really want to throw myself into being solely dedicated to becoming this big buisness person like- obviously I want to be successful and be able to provide for myself, but I also want to have time for my writing and my family and myself, and I wanted to give this same kind of quiet realization to Tecna

For Tecna, it’s herself who puts on this pressure since, as a little girl she started seeing the modern side of Zenith as ‘superior’ in her mind and really wanted to leave the farm life to become exclusively focused on buisness, but as she grows up and, especially after Omega, she realized she wants to stay close to home and wants a quieter life, she still wants to be successful and to change the world, but it’s not all she wants anymore

Not sure if I explained that last point as well as I wanted to.

Thoughts Behind Her Main Relationships

Tecna

I love Tecna and Musa, they are very much a friendship between unconventional girls who don’t always come across as they mean to.

They both struggle to make friends for different reasons but the second they meet they realize that they are quite similar and so never push each other outside of their comfort zone at first and that’s what allows them to become close enough to then push one another.

Musa gets what makes Tecna tick and makes sure that she’s comfortable, she makes sure she gets her alone time and makes sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed.

Tecna gets that Musa doesn’t want to talk about herself so instead gets her to open up about her music.

And it’s through this that they start to trust one another and by s2 we see them knowing each other well enough to keep the other from spiraling.

When Tecna’s confused about her feelings for Timmy, it’s Musa who reminds her that it’s okay to not be ready for a relationship. And when Musa and Riven first kiss, it’s Tecna who suggests they take it slow since she knows how skittish they can both be.

At this point, they push one another when they need to.

They are crucial to each other’s growth.

Timmy

Now, my darlings, my softies, my introverted nerdy lovers

I know a lot of you were like- what the fuck do you mean they’re still not dating? Towards the start of s4 but I really wanted them to actually take their time before getting together

Timmy has a crush on Tecna since s1 and it’s in s2 where Tecna falls for Timmy slowly but surely, being a bit confused about her feelings since this is the first time she’s ever fallen in love. They have a talk and decide that neither are really ready for a relationship, Tecna because she’s still learning to communicate and just doesn’t feel ready in general, Timmy due to his anxiety and desire to work on himself before trying for a relationship

Once the feelings are out in the open, they are a lot less shy about being affectionate towards each other, since they know they’re headed for a relationship someday.

After Omega, any subtlety goes out the window for a bit, but they still aren’t official since, they really just- they know what they feel and what they have, that’s enough for them throughout s3, especially with everything going on (the song Tell Em by Sabrina Carpenter I feel really encapsulates how they feel about having a concrete label)

But now in s4, they are finally going to be dating and… honestly not much will change. That’s what I love most about Tecna and Timmy, they’re best friends in love. They act like best friends… who ocasionaly kiss. Love it!

Nabu

Now, Tecna was the last Winx to get her platonic soulmate, and I really loved introducing Nabu into the story through Tecna

These two just click from the very start, they are both have quite cool and calm demeanors that hide the ocasional gremlin behavior beneath the surface

They are each other’s impulse control and they trade a singular brain cell back and forth (Tecna has it most of the time).

I’m not really sure how to describe their relationship since, there are just some people in life with whom you just click for absolutely no reason, they just make sense to you in a way that very few people do, these two click and just want to hang out and protect one another

Who is Tecna in this Rewrite?

In this rewrite, Tecna is a young girl who isn’t the best at communicating

She is a girl who slowly grows, not in the sense that she changes, but in the sense that she grows into herself, learning more about herself, slowly learning how to communicate her love and care

The only thing that truly shifts are her priorities as she realizes just how important her family and friends are to her and, whilst she is a very ambitious girl and that doesn’t change, instead it is re-directed into… I actually can’t quite say how it is re-directed quite yet since that won’t be revealed until a lot later on

But my fave way of describing Tecna is just a girl growing into herself, into her love, into her hobbies, into her ambitions and into a wonderful woman.

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Masterlist

Tecna Moodboard

Tecna’s Instagram

Tecna and Musa Moodboard

Tecna and Timmy Moodboard

Tecna and Nabu Moodboard

———————

I know this one has been a long time coming, I apologize for the delay I just could not for the life of me put this into words, but here it is!!!

[not-5-rats]

I made this mf as a joke...it was a joke, I took it too far, I adore them <3

Guess who made a second Bug :3

(sorta-? more of a Gator Boys oc lol)

☆---------------☆

Xanthe (Zanthe) Rhys

☆×.------------------------.×☆

'Red isn't a natural hair colour-' go away, this world has gator boys let my gay child have red hair 💥

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Basic Info;

Nicknames: Xane, Dumbass, Simpy-Bug

Pronouns: All (They Change)

Gender Id: Genderfluid

Age: 19

Height: 5'10

Sexuality: Pansexual

Voice Claim: Kristofferson (Fantastic Mr Fox)

Alignment: Chaotic Nuetral

B-Day: 17th April

Conditions: Dyspraxia & Autism

Current Job: Tavern Bartender

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Family;

(Relation - Name - Age - How Close They Are / 10)

Father - Marcus - 52 - 2/10

Mother - Dhalia - 48 - 1/10

Sister #1 - Imogen - 28 - 8/10

Sister #2 - Astrid - 26 -6/10

Brother - Helios - 21 - 9/10

N/A - Xanthe - 19 - N/A

☆---------------☆

Lil Bits;

They wear a choker which was 'gifted' to them by Jasmine (explained in backstory) it has a heart in the centre which is actually a lock, the key belonged to Jasmine who never returned it, so they physically can't remove it....well they could, but they couldn't bring themself to destroy it inorder to remove it so...it remained a constant reminder

The scarf was originally a way to cover just the choker as he was ashamed of it but as time went on the scarf became another part of Xane, she was never without it, it covered their mouth which meant they didn't have to put as much effort into their expressions

When he was super little Xane wanted to do sports, but due to her dyspraxia they really struggled to learn. And hell maybe if he bad kept trying she would've made it...but they were quickly convinced by a certain person to give up, they still wonder if they could had a chance in that field

They will flirt with everyone, there's no actual feelings behind it, it's just part of her 'personality' this includes the Bugs, if somebody doesn't like it though Xane stops instantly! Like several apologies and he gives them some space

LOVES FOXES, would beat a bitch up if they hurt a fox <3

Sends letter to his siblings everyday and tries to see them often <33

She enjoys painting, been doing it since they were little, it was the one things Jasmine wasn't able to take away from them. Well he took a break after the break-up because everytime she tried to paint just ended up being her...it was haunting. But they soon got back to it!!

To add onto the last point, when she meets the Bugs she instantly starts painting them. Even if he doesn't have any romantic feelings for them they still find the Bugs pretty, stunning even, so paints them and stores all the paintings in a box...maybe one day he'll share her talent...maybe

The weird bracelet thing they have (the purple, green and blue one) is a bracelet that all the siblings have, each colour represents one of them so each is slightly different but they all have them and all wear them 24/7 (the colours match the colours on the names)

☆---------------☆

Personality;

Upon first meeting them many people are quite disturbed by them, not because he's rude or talks about harsh topics but because she's so...different

He is extremely energetic and never tries to dull themself down for anyone else's comfort, she never feels the need to be quiet, they always have something to say so why should they remain silent? But the thing that really gets to people is just how...ehm...odd some of the things he says are. Most of the things they say could fall into one of three categories;

1) Self-Deprecating - It would be reasonable for anyone to guess that Xane hated himself, the way she spoke of herself, the jokes they made at his own expense, it's all quite harsh. She would call himself things such as, a fool, idiotic, irresponsible, expendable, useless, meaningless, really saying there was nothing Xane was good at. Many don't appreciate this sense of humour

2) Flirtatious - She seems to, in lack of a better word, 'simp' for almost everybody and isn't afraid to admit it! They never say anything intrusive or of a gross nature, it's just small things, such as mentioning that somebody is pretty or that he would love to take them on a date sometime

3) Confusing - It's like she speaks in riddles, you can't tell if what they're saying is just a load of nonsense...or if whatever he said secretly has a much deeper meaning to it. When first meeting them all of these are passed of as nonsense, but as you get to know them you realise that some of it isn't so random

Thanks to their way of speaking many don't want to talk to her, their often avoided by coworkers and strangers alike. Yet he doesn't change their ways, she remaines herself, refusing to turn into a different person just because others don't like their personality

If somebody decides that they don't mind, or even like, Xane's personality so stick around they'll soon start to see the cracks in her facade

As time goes on they realise that he becomes quite shut off as the evening comes, Xane seems to shut themself off certain days, she tries to reason why he isn't available...but often their excuses are lazy & clearly untrue, and if they do manage to drag him out on those days she just seems tired, distant even

Finally they'll find out that the only reason he's so vibrant & joyous is so that they can avoid facing their trauma, if she keeps a face of positivity, carelessness, inner freedom then he never has to accept the turmoil that bubbles inside of them

They want to let people in, so that he can finally let somebody see how hurt she is, show them the damage he holds...but they can't. She wants friends but he can't stand the idea of letting people get close, they don't want anybody to get any hint that he might not be as free from feelings as she seems

So they keep up the walls, she appears very odd, very intense, so that people will leave them alone. But as soon as somebody decides they still like him despite these oddities, she can't help but let them in

☆---------------☆

(cw!!!; manipulation, abuse, neglect, SA)

Also this probs doesn't make too much sense/ is repetitive, sorry babes'

Backstory;

Xane was born into a shitty household, there was no denying it

Her parents never loved one another, they simply tolerated each other. Sure they might have been in love when they initially married over 20 years ago but alot can happen over 20+ years...alot can change, so no they're not in love if anything they despise each other

This hatred flowed through the parents and into the children, both parents tried their hardest to convince their children to hate the other parent...little did they know most of their kids really needed very little convincing

Both parents were so caught up in their hatred for one another they forgot that they were meant to love their children, they had the first two kids because it's what they were told married couples did but the last one were only conceived to be used as a weapon in this war the two were fighting. So the children grew up with a dislike towards both parents, Xane was included in this

Xane was the last born child of the Rhys household, so whilst their siblings did try to protect him from their parents fight...it simply wasn't possible. So instead they just taught her how to ignore it, how to remained neutral, to stay out of their way

This meant Xane had to mature quickly, they had to leave their childhood behind and become a silent figure which haunted the home. It was awful, he barely felt like a real person, Xane felt like she was forced to be nothing in this stupid house...which is probably why it was so easy for her to take advantage of them

Xanthe met Jasmine when he was 9 and she was 10, the two met through their older siblings, the two were friends and due to how lonely Xane felt they were instantly obsessed with the idea of having a friend who was just as weird as them! It was amazing for Xane...but it soon took a turn

Jasmine asked Xane to be their 'partner' within the first year they met, obviously it wasn't a super serious relationship given their age but to Xane it was super serious, she was so happy! Not only had they just gotten his first friend they had also gotten their first girlfriend! That joy quickly dried up as Jasmine began to do...things, which Xane didn't like

She made them feel alone, more alone than they already felt, she convinced them their siblings hated him, they never cared, infact they were planning on abandoning Xane, leaving her alone

(What didn't help was that very soon after she started planting these ideas in his mind the eldest child left the household as they were now old enough to do so)

It left them feeling trapped, that Jasmine was all they had, if he left Jasmine he had nothing. Nobody else would be as 'accepting' as her, nobody would 'love' her as she did. And by the time Xane was 10 Jasmine had them all to herself and that's what made it so easy for her to do what she did

Jasmine's hands started wandering, Xane would protest but she convinced them that this is what people who loved one another did, and since he had no role model for what love looks like...Xane reluctantly accepted this reason

For three years Xane was trapped in Jasmine's grasp, she slowly got worse, the things she called him, the things she did to them...they way she violated her, these were things that, even after Jasmine left them, Xane never got over

When they were 13 Xane started to stand up to Jasmine, they never outright denied her but she started to push back against the things Jasmine was doing...so she left them. She abandoned them

This broke Xane, Jasmine was all they had for so long and now she was gone. What the fuxk were they to do? So he shielded herself off, hid away in their room, never speaking to anybody, never doing anything, just rotting there, day upon day. She had given up. What was the point anymore...

Luckily there were three people that never gave up on Xane. Everyday his siblings came and checked up on her, making sure they ate and drank, they even managed to drag him outside every few days! They were always there and since they were always there they obviously asked what was going on with her, why he was hiding away...but Xane refused to tell them

She wanted to, they needed to tell somebody...but he couldn't bring himself to...because they thought it was their own fault. She spent all her alone time pointing the finger at himself, they let Jasmine do these things, he didn't ask for help as it was happening...so what right did she have to blame Jasmine. There was also the fact that...Xane didn't think anyone would belive them. Jasmine's family were massively loved in the local community, his own mother was overjoyed to know Xane was friends with her!! So why would they believe them if they told everyone what she did...to add to this Jasmine was 11 when she started doing all these things...who would believe that an 11 year old would do this...nobody would believe them

So she never told anybody and instead learned to build a person around it. They never accepted their trauma, they ignored what happened and began to paint a new picture of who they were. Whilst inside the home Xane remained the blank canvas they were raised to be outside Xane became a new person

She was confident, careless, flirty, daring! He spent ages working on his new persona, learning mannerisms to keep up the look they decided to pick up. They became...what many would call a freak, she became the odd individual that everyone knows today...and he admired herself for it

Strangers didn't come near her, nobody wanted to risk talking to them due to how odd he was, people avoided her and pretty soon Xane realised why they loved being like this, they realised that now he was exactly who he needed to be back when they met her...cause if they were like this back then she wouldn't have done it. She wished they had changed earlier...but decided not to dwell on that for too long...they were safe, nobody would come near him anymore, this persona was their saviour

So the years passed, this persona growing stronger and stronger. Xane began to grow a reputation around the local area, the creep that lived round the corner, which led to them leaving town as soon as they became 17. I mean their siblings had already left, why would they stay?

They left town and ventured out, she soon found himself in the town in just beside the swamps which a certain couple of gators happened to inhabit. He got a job at a tavern (the job came with a free room upstairs of the bar...so how could they refuse) and actually became pretty popular at work, patrons of the tavern enjoyed bantering with Xane, the drunk liked her oddness alot more than the sober, so they leaned into it and people seemed to really like that

Of course they still haven't forgotten what happened...they doubt he ever will, but she feels better in life, even if he's living a lie atleast the lie is having a good life, the 'Xane' people know is happy...even if Xanthe herself isn't

☆---------------☆

How They Met The Boys/ Their Relationship;

It was late one evening, Xane didn't have work so decided to spend some time drinking in the tavern. They had heard myths about the 'creatures' since she moved in...yet he was sceptical. Sure she believed in the 'monsters', he'd been taught about them since she was young, but they doubted the creatures would live so close to a town!

So in her drunken state Xane decided he would go out into the forest and prove there were no 'monsters' out there, the other patrons were reluctant to let them go but she was quickly able to convince them

As he slumped through the trees they weren't paying loads of attention to where she was going...which led to them falling into the river. He splashed, trying desperately to bring themself to the surface...but she couldn't. They felt their life fading and their eyes falling shut...just as she passed out he was pulled from the water by our fav Gator-Dad <3

They were taken back to his cottage where he aided them, making sure he was alright. Xane tried to laugh of their incident...yet they weren't allowed to leave, Bodie wanted to ensure they were alright so encouraged her to stay for a few days...they agreed

At the time Xane arrived in the swamps Bug had already been there for a while, so they ended up talking quite alot. Bug still being injured and Xane not being sure where to go. Bugs relationship with Xane obviously depends Bug-to-Bug but I hope they get along ^^

Bodie defo gets the worst of Xane's flirting, he constantly ask if Bodie would ever consider dating a non gator, how he felt about marriage, even if she could steal a lil kiss for the road when they first tried to leave! He's never serious and Bodie can tell, which is why he just ignores her comments and questions. Bodie is the first one to realise that Xane was masking their inner feelings, he was the first to get under their facade...and he was the first person she ever spoke to about Jasmine. Something about his presence was comforting enough for him to tell. So now she's stopped making flirty comments towards him...mostly and sees him more like the father they never had

Timmy makes him laugh, his clumsy demeanor, the way his personality mirrored theirs just in a watered down way, she instantly liked him. They made little flirty comments towards him...and he just called them crazy, apart from that he bad no idea how to respond, be even seemed flustered at some points yet the more she did it the more he began to find ways to respond. Sometimes he played along and the rest of the time he just laughed with her. They're like best buddies

Marco...hm, they didn't spend much time together but Xane thinks he's the prettiest of the boys (totally not projecting-) like no she doesn't have a crush on him he just thinks Marco's a pretty lil croc. So he's when they first met she did make a couple comments which was...weird lol. Marco found the way they spoke to him kinda odd, he chose to ignore it but when it became clear she was making him even slightly uncomfy Xane stfu. Like bro apologised so quickly and never made another comment again. So yeah they don't really know one another but I feel that's for the better, they probs wouldn't get along too well

As time went on and days passed Xane found he didn't really want to leave, she appreciated the Gators and Bug, so they hung around for awhile :3

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That's all I can think of! ^^ (this character is a bit of a projection of all my unhinged thoughts abt the boys lol (and kinda some of the backstory but we don't talk abt that) so yeah no don't take them too seriously-)

And here's him without the scarf!!!

[mantacid]

Yeah. I feel this.

It’s important to realize that, while you may not perform to the level of a neurotypical in some areas, you’re performing pretty damn well for someone in your situation. If a NT were to suddenly switch places with you, they’d get much less done than you would. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they just gave up.

I’ve been following your work for quite some time, and it’s truly amazing the way you think. The connections you make are beautiful and profound in their lack of orthodoxy, and you do it with janky brain-hardware too.

Disability is not likely to go away anytime soon. So we have to make do with what we have, either by taking steps to improve our position or by setting realistic goals.

As for negative comments, most people don’t remember every minute mistake, every iota of idiosyncrasy. The way you’re perceived is often much more forgiving than you realize. Not that it really matters what everyone else thinks is normal.

As for memory suffering: that is also a mood. But it seems you’ve already figured out that writing things down helps “encode” the information (maybe has something to do with neural pathways between hand and brain, idk). Your mind isn’t a static computer system, it’s one that is constantly receiving rolling updates and optimizations, one that adapts to and optimizes itself for the hardware it’s given. Sure it’s basically a bunch of bugs and glitches duct taped together, but then again — and I cannot stress this enough —

What brain isn’t?

Brains like ours tend to be self critical, flagging errors where there are none, pushing warnings for processes that are doing the best the can under the circumstances they’re given. Sometimes, developers just… ignore those errors. And wouldn’t you know it, things turn out fine. Because the developer knows the code, they know what’s important to listen to and what’s just scuffed practice. Our task is to learn to do the same with criticism, both from the self and from others.

I’m a math tutor, and I face many of the same issues with parsing speech and remembering things and sticking to a social script. The students don’t mind. In fact, they ask for me by name sometimes. I guess I’ve just gotten accustomed to rolling with the punches.

There was a short story I read in some middle school English class, in which a street musician explained that when he made a mistake, he kept going, didn’t draw attention to it. When he did this, no one thought of it as a mistake. I guess it’s the same principle. That said, the musician likely had kept practicing. Why go through the trouble of coming up with a janky workflow when all you need to do is remove some bloatware? Give your brain-computer the rest it needs to run.

My point — which I have admittedly taken quite a roundabout way to get to — is that yeah, things may not feel like they’re working right. And they likely aren’t. But the truth of the matter is that nothing is really working; everything is broken in one way or another. Sometimes we can fix it, sometimes we can’t. Sometimes rolling with the punches and adapting to your needs can work just fine. But there’s nothing wrong with admitting that a break is in order. And there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back and looking at your successes.

Sometimes/often I just want to be an ordinary man with ordinary interests, ordinary expectations from life and ordinary wishes and here I am: autistic and conscious of all my lack of basic life skills.

--

Currently lt's disabling. My focus is non-existent. My clumsyness is so severe that I even refuse to leave the bed, not due to being depressed, but because I have no "brain capacity" to determine my moves properly without causing chain reactions of incidences. It is no exaggeration, but whenever I attempt to solve a problem (like a glass of water fell down..) I cause even more shitty incidences. It's the quanity and frequentation of those incidences that is disabling.

My sensory problems are severe as well. Both sensory processing is deficitary as well as the "output" via motoric control of my body.

Whenever I fail 90% in what I do, I always remember all the shitty degrading comments I received.

I had a bit of self esteem, but thanks to severely desinterested psych workers I have lost my self esteem entirely.

Everyday I hear these comments in my mind and I have nothing to hold against it. I have no counter-example. I have so few experiences where I could achieve something, where my kind of thinking was even wanted.

Constantly being deemed as dumb and whatever is painful when you know you can be smart - with a bit of self esteem and trust in yourself, with just few affirmative words - and an option to advance your knowledge and skills.

Having no options to use my knowledge and skills - and especially not being able to improve and work on them makes me sad. Additionally, working on expanding/improving my knowledge and skills could help me with my self-esteem.

It's saddening.

In the last months I could not train my mind enough to remain functional.

I need daily mental workout to remain a basic level of functionality of basic cognitive abilities. It's like a person with muscular dystrophy - they have to train hard everyday just to remain at a basic functionality.

My verbal and communication skills severely decreased over the last months. Whenever I attempt to write something - may it be poetry, philosophy or about STEM topics it turns into utter gibberish shortly after I started writing.

Even basic grammar becomes deficitary. Word finding problems are severe too.

My brain is super slow. Processing information is filled with more errors than i am able to detect and correct via metacognition. Even basic perception is exhausting because of this. In moments of severe exhaustion my vision becomes double (double pictures) and if I continue the exhausting task (mostly tasks that require much working memory capacity) I become delirious and then fall asleep while doing the task... mental overload... mental shutdown. Mental CPU used by 100%.

The dissociation aspect in my cognitive processes makes it all too difficult, as, well, my memory is like a server having multiple co-existing sub-systems - each of them is also errorous. And sending information between the servers, as to use this analogy, is a very "mental-CPU-exhausting task"...

.... hmmm I might want to write an article about cognitive processes in general - and how it is with my own sensory as well as memory processing. Some weeks ago I started doing short explanations of analogies between cognitive processes and "computer and math terms".

I also want to use pseudocode to depict some "working mechanisms" of my cognition, so to speak.

(I made these many months ago:)

I might go into detail when I actually continue this project.

[packcoventhing]

Some of the physical disability rep in me and @romeave-wives-club's rewrite because lets face it the lack of disability rep in MCD is unrealistic and even in MYS it was still "how do you know so many people and not one of them has a physical disability??"

[this isn't all of it, but it's some of it]

So, excluding the two entirely new OC characters because look they may be self inserts but Aph herself was one

Zane in both MCD and MYS has troubles with his balance, so, walking stick. In MCD he has this fancy and sleek one, while in MYS it's covered in stickers and paint and no that's not a pinkie cake sticker what do you mean. He's blind in one eye, in MCD it was from a relic incident and in MYS it's the infamous snowball incident. He finds it too much of a hassle to have it uncovered, that fucks with his perception of things more than it helps. He's also immunocompromised in MYS, which I thought was canon but now that I'm thinking about it it was never said in canon that he still gets sick a lot.

Laurance was partially blinded upon his return to the overworld, while Ungrth took the blunt of the void burns- he got a nasty one covering his entire left eye. It healed, slowly, but it left his vision severely blurry and hazed over with a dark-tinted film. He pulled a Zane, covering it with his hair or an eyepatch, for a while. But eventually that stops, and he adjusts to it the best he can.

Aaron was fully blinded when his village was wiped out, he was also very soon after turned into a werewolf. He can make out levels of light if the change is extreme enough, but that's about it- lets his hair cover his eyes, or a blindfold, just because the light tricking him into seeing movement was more of a hinderance in battle than a help. (Post S6 in MYS he's also blind, and either has a white cane or a service dog (or both) to help him around)

Post MYS S6, Travis is an ambulatory wheelchair user! He switches between his wheelchair and crutches, but if he's out and about he's probably in the wheelchair.

MYS!Aph has a walker, when she first got it she went over to Zane's house arms filled with stickers and "dragging" my OC along and the three of them had a hangout of just decorating their mobility aids

They're both background/more minor characters unfortunately, but both Nana's sister Shi and Blaze's sister Adira are deaf!

Some additions

Aaron has died 10 times over and will not stay in the ground, he has some form of chronic pain and will probably join the mobility aid crew at some point

Hayden uses a walking stick because yes

also there's a plethora of mental disabilities ranging from learning disabilities with Blaze's dyspraxia, all the meif'wa being autistic (this comes from the theory of cats not being able to be diagnosed with autism because they're all autistic, and you can pry this out of my cold dead autistic hands), dissociative disorders like MYS!Gene with chronic dissociative amnesia and Travis with DID

and more!

[poorbrokemess]

This sounds bowl guys

I love it.

I'm good at it.

There is a whole story to it even.

A few months back a friend got a big ol sound bowl. Like mixing bowl sized. I watched him make it sing and LOVED it. But I couldn't make it work. I couldn't hold it the way he did. The stick was big. The bowl was big. It was awkward and awful.

The sound was glorious. But I couldn't make it work.

My partner, seeing my love of it, has been pushing me to buy myself one. Having a tendency to buy things, not be instantly good at them, then never touching them again. I was like. No. I'm NOT wasting the money on something I already know I'm not good at. That's silly.

Then last week(ish idk actually) I had a dream.

One I now wish I had put more stock into.

☆follow me to the land of my dream, it's short. maybe lol☆

I was in a white, court like room. *maybe*

There was more than one person in the room. Mingling. Quiet chatter.

There was an older man. Don't ask what he looked like. Because, *tries to recall*, he was older, bearded, authoritative.

*leaning down over a golden balcony like railing*

*hands me a sound bowl*

Me - *looks down at bowl* sadly "I can't use it." *tries handing it back*

*refuses*

*still saddly looking at bowl*

*looks up at man*

"Will you teach me?"

"I will teach you."

----

That's all I remember.

I put it down to my partner being like "Get one!" All the time and being sad I can't play music.

I have EDS and dyspraxia also cant read music. So string instruments or anything with my fingers or rythym, I either can't physically manage, or I just suck at.

But this adorable little sound bowl?

In under a day I feel like I've sused out a good number of its secrets already.

I haven't researched anything on them yet. I'm sure there are like, rules, ways or something, people generally follow or know.

But I really like learning it myself to see how what I learn myself is like vs *how it's done*.

I can hold a note solid until I decide to stop or my arm gets tired. My partner can't seem to make it work though, like myself before. Her hands are bigger than mine. Which I think is likely the issue.

I wouldn't buy one.

Kept telling her no.

And my mom surprises me with one.

After I had that dream?

And I'm instantly good at it?

Idk I love it however.

I find myself non stop pulled to use it. Which is hard as it's 4 am and people be sleeping lol

Offering for the night

Sleepy boys and this dead moth idk if I've show you yet lol

The next few weeks I might be on and off. Partner has some stuff going on that suck. Step sisters had cancer for a while and they decided to stop care and ended feedings. So the end is near. She's ready.

[montygatorguy]

Frankie with all the questions. do a flip please

again. still cant do a flip. but i will answer all the frankie questions

1. i love so much about frankie.. if i had to pick one specific thing i love his little awkward laugh

2. that he’s canonically pan. :)

3. WHY WAS HE SO DUMB WHEN IT CAME TO WILL AND ROMEO SNEAKING INTO THE WEDDING?? like ik he doesn’t know who they are but they definitely dont look like his brothers!

4. he would make a great spiderman. that’s why i made him a spiderman

5. aside from anything in the show i think of run by one republic. it reminds me of him and may

6. we both wear glasses!

7. we all collectively agree that he’s autistic. like no doubt about it. autism

8. i havent seen anyone do it but if anyone ACTUALLY ships him with juliet i hate them

9. yes i could be roommates with him. he’s a silly guy.

10. i would love to be his friend!

11. im not into guys so no

12. dyspraxic frankie. because there aren’t any dyspraxic characters in anything and i have dyspraxia and he reminds me of myself

13. 💙 because of reggies (your) frankie blog

14. he’s a zip up hoodie over pull over hoodie kinda guy

15. i WONDER what my favorite frankie ship is….

16. anything that isn’t maycois because they’re perfect

17. i dont know. there aren’t a lot of frankie ships

18. aside from may (obviously), i actually really like that he and lance get to reconcile. it’s super sweet :)

19. the fact that he never interacts with romeo (outside of like one west end moment) is CRIMINAL. WHYYYY

20. juliet is like a sister-best friend, romeo is just best friend

21. i love portraying him as super affectionate! he totally is. he loves may and all his friends and family so much. i don’t have anything i dislike about writing him though

22. i love whenever he’s being scared in fics. cause bro is scared of lots of things. again, i like pretty much every portrayal of him i have seen

23. him and may in this picture are so :D

23. him and may in this picture are so :D

24. he reminds me of bonnie the bunny!!

25. at first i think i just saw him as “oh! funny silly little guy!” and he still is that, but now that ive been around for longer i see more of his depth. like within his family and relationships

26. another random headcanon but he definitely had braces forever and also he has a squirtle plush from one of his brothers in his room

thanks for the ask! it took me ages lmao

[ouatnextgen]

Any headcanons for the next gen?

Finally can answer! Sorry this took so long lmao. These are just a bunch of random headcanons

Reblogging for the update that Alice is now Hope's sister.

Roland

He loves baked goods, especially when they’re baked by Regina, and has a strange love of Mountain Dew, which grosses everyone out

He got his first tattoo, the exact same lion tattoo that Robin had, in the exact same place,  when he was twelve, thanks to Little John, and Regina almost fainted when she found out. 

He inherits his father’s arrows, rings, and wardrobe, while his sister gets his bow. Before he died, Robin made Roland his very own bow, and that is the one he uses

His biggest secret is that he doesn't want to lead the Merry Men, like his father before him; he wants to be a baker

Surprisingly squeamish. Doesn’t do well with blood or guts

90% of his Storybrooke wardrobe is flannels

He likes camping, hiking, and just generally being outside

Is a pretty good singer, and knows how to play the acoustic guitar

His favorite season is autumn

His favorite color is red

Alex

They have survived solely on food from Granny’s Diner and coffee since they graduated high school

They actually work at Granny’s Diner, pretty much doing Ruby’s job after she moved to Oz.

In several instances, they had managed to convince many small children that the pink streaks in their hair are 100% natural

Can wield a dagger pretty well, but is a self-proclaimed “runner” and not a fighter

Most of the graffiti around Storybrooke can be attributed to them

Though they’d rather die than admit it, they really like doing so-called “feminine” hobbies like knitting, sewing, and crocheting. They are very proficient at all three

Got a tongue piercing at 12:01 am, the very day that they turned eighteen

They play the bass, and dream of starting a garage band

Their favorite season is summer

Their favorite color is pink

Leo

Really likes spicy foods. Or foods he can dump gallons of hot sauce on. He pretends to be a tea drinker, but really can’t stand the stuff

Secretly loves country music, but knows that his friends would crucify him if they found out

His least favorite subject in school is English, because he feels like he gets interpretations of stories “wrong” somehow. Math is easier because it’s “straightforward”

He’s a guard on the school football team

Somehow, he’s also senior class president and has a 3.89 GPA

Since in this AU, Regina turned down the offer to be queen in favor of Snow, Leo is next in line for the throne (Emma opted out)

Can’t do archery for shit, but is great at fencing

He likes to babysit his brother and other neighborhood kids

His favorite season is spring

His favorite color is indigo

PJ

He’s one of those people who only eats plain noodles with butter, and only drinks water if it’s ice-cold or flavored. Very picky.

He has dyspraxia, which is a disorder similar to dyslexia. It affects his movement and coordination functions (my little brother has this) so he is very prone to stumbling, dropping things, and just general clumsiness.

He’s a night owl. He tends to stay awake until three hours before he has to get up (“Three hours is enough sleep, right?”) which results in a lot of coffee consumption

He’s a member of the school drama club, and has performed in many plays and musicals

He’s really into urban area gardening, where he grows plants and food in tiny boxes around his house

His honorary aunt is Mulan, and she was the one who taught him sword fighting, archery, and helped him figure out that he’s gay

He likes to live in the moment, and do spontaneous things. He’d rather regret doing something than not doing something.

He has Alex sneak him into clubs sometimes, just to do something rebellious for kicks

His favorite season is spring

His favorite color is purple

Robyn

Thanks to Regina’s influence, she loves apple flavored food

She got her glasses in her freshman year of high school. Before that, she just…moved closer to the board to see what was going on (I know in canon she only has her glasses when she’s cursed, but I like the idea of Robyn, the archer, needing glasses full-time, so here we are.)

She inherits Robin’s bow, and carries it around with her like a favorite teddy bear (when Robin comes back to life he teaches her how to make her own bow)

She longs to escape Storybrooke and travel the different realms, like Henry

She loves the outdoors like Roland, but not quite as much.

Her magic is chaotic and wild, like her personality

She’s on the school soccer team, and kicks everyone’s ass

The only jewelry she ever wears is a ring her mother got for her

Her favorite season is summer

Her favorite color is green

Gideon

Has a weakness for seafood, and regularly drinks tea

He’s a math nerd, and is on the school’s mathlete team

Unsurprisingly, he loves to read. Fiction or nonfiction, he doesn’t care. He’ll read five books a day if Belle lets him.

He also likes video games, but is very bad at them

He’s on the autism spectrum

He likes keeping journals, and keeps several personal journals, study journals, and doodle journals

Since his magic is inherently dark, he doesn’t like to use it much. If he does need to use magic, it can trigger memories from his time as the Black Fairy’s puppet to come back in the form of nightmares

He wants to be a therapist when he grows up, and maybe publish a book or two

His favorite season is winter

His favorite color is orange

Alice

She loves to eat things with marmalade, and even just marmalade straight from the jar. And she’s british…so tea is life

She has a mental illness (canon never gave her a proper diagnosis), and takes prescribed medication that helps her symptoms. When she has "bad days," Robyn, Hope, and their parents know how to help her.

She loves the idea of dying or putting streaks in her hair, but she’s slightly worried she’ll regret it later on, so hasn’t tried it yet

She still loves to paint, doodle, draw, and basically anything artsy. 

She loves to play chess with her father, and other, more modern board games with her friends. Her favorites are Candy Land, Battleship, and Monopoly.

She rarely uses her light magic, and only to protect people. Emma trains with her regularly

She will stay awake into the wee hours to go stargazing, and loves astronomy, star mapping, and even the zodiac signs (she’s a proud Aries)

Even though she’s never officially sailed a ship, she knows the inner workings of how to do it so well, she might as well be a sailor

Her favorite season is summer

Her favorite color is teal

Hope

Her favorite food is literally just cheese

She is on the autism spectrum

She has a special interest in swords, which results in a large sword collection, and a bunch of useless sword facts

She also has a special interest in dancing, which results in her now knowing a few books worth of dances, both modern and classical

She’s on the school dance squad (see above)

She likes to go sailing with Killian and Alice

Her favorite piece of jewelry is the swan necklace her parents gave her

Going to the beach calms her down, and she listens to ocean noises to fall asleep

Her favorite season is summer

Her favorite color is navy blue

[alltimefail-sims]

All anon questions, so I compiled them here in one place! Thank you to those of you who sent me asks about my OCs. I appreciate you guys 🖤

Original Prompt here - ask me about my OCs!!

Oh gosh, the floodgates of my mind have been reopened... this sad family has me in a chokehold I fear. For those of you who don't know about the Barths, they're a family from one of my sim dumps. I haven't talked about them much on here since sharing them, so thank you for this ask!

-> Jacob grew up in Copperdale in a trailer home community with his mom and little sister, Scout!

-> I wouldn't say he's necessarily an animal lover, but he is a dog lover!! He's never had a dog, but he's always wanted one!!! (Having a dog is one of his long term goals now that he's not incarcerated any more.)

-> His favorite food wouldn't be anything fancy - a classic smash burger, side of curly fries, and a peanut butter milkshake for dessert would be his perfect meal!

-> I imagine Jacob is the kind of person to keep many secrets, unfortunately. Some of them he keeps from his little sister to preserve her childhood and her view of him, some of them he has kept because he feels shame, others he keeps to protect himself. Needless to say, he would really benefit from speaking to a mental health professional.

Omg Freya!!!!

-> Freya isn't outdoorsy but she does loves all animals; I wish we had birds in the sims because she would absolutely have a pet owl. I also think she would have a pet rabbit or two!

-> I personally headcanon Freya as neurodivergent! (Diagnosed Dyspraxia; on a related note I always imagined her to have sensory processing issues and delayed speech as a child as well, which has resulted in a noticeable speech impediment even into adulthood.)

-> Zoe is biracial; her mother is Black and her father (who is not a part of her life) is Caucasian/white

-> Tashia is Black

-> Erwin is Caucasian/white

-> Beckett is Caucasian/white

-> Anwar's ethnic identity is complex because by America's race/ethnicity classifications, he would be considered "white" - he obviously does not identify as white, nor is he white lol, but that's America for you! I went into his background HERE if you're curious, but I think he would probably identify as Arab and/or Middle Eastern.

-> Junia is biracial. Her father is white/Caucasian but her mother is Mexican and Native American - specifically Cherokee. She was basically raised by her mother's parents when her mom died, so she is more closely connected to her Native and Hispanic roots and would identify as such.

[autisticmagicalgirls]

Hey I'm still alive, just have been having a lotta mental and physical health stuff going on. I did finally decide on some names for the characters, though! As well as a bit of personalities!

---

The wand user is named Ethel Hart. Xe works very hard at school, and xir biggest fear is being seen as a failure. Xe works a bit too hard to avoid that, which may eventually cause burnout. Xe doesn't have a special interest, but rather, cycles through sort-term hyperfixations on various nonfiction topics to read about. As such, if xir memory is functioning right, xe has approximate knowledge of several things. Buuuut xe has an issue of getting facts mixed up in xir head sometimes due to swapping interests so often.

For example, xe can tell you some fun facts about spiders if you encounter one, buuuut xe might forget which ones are poisonous. Perhaps the three are fighting a snake monster. Are its bites poisonous? Was it round or diamond heads that have pois- whoops too late, Chrissy got bit. Guess Ethel'll find out which it was soon enough.

Xe lives in a college dorm as xe desperately tries to figure out what xe wants to major in for xir bachelor's degree. There's so many choices! There's so much stuff to learn! Deciding on just one stresses xir out.

-----

Bear arms/hands user is Christina "Chrissy" Robinson. She is mute, and uses an AAC device to communicate with others. She does know sign language, but only really uses it at home when she doesn't have her AAC with her, such as if it's dead or she left it on the couch when going to grab some food.

She lives with her sister, Pauline (Polly), who acts as her caregiver and helps her out whereever she can. Their mom is a doctor, and isn't home a lot. She pays Polly to help care for Chrissy since Chrissy has trouble with certain things. The two girls have only recently moved to town to be closer to their mom's workplace.

I'm thinking I might have Chrissy's dyspraxia be rough. Like... She has difficulty balancing when going up and down steps, trouble gripping small objects like forks and pencils and such, and she tends to either drop things or grasp them too hard. She also tends to fall a lot, if not careful.

I'm flip flopping between weather or not she minds eye contact, but anyway,

Due to her dyspraxia she has difficulty doing certain things like cooking, cleaning, bathing, and other things. Her sister helps her as needed, and Chrissy also has some devices and tools that help her out. For example, a spoon with a thick handle that's easier for her to grasp, with a mechanism to help itself stay balanced even if her hand goes shakey. I'm not sure what else though! If anyone has ideas, let me know. Perhaps a cane would be helpful? Idk. My dyspraxia isn't that severe, so I'd like to hear some from those who struggle with it more than me!

As for Christina's personality, she's sarcastic, blunt, and she's a bit abrasive when it comes to interacting with new people. She doesn't trust easily. Growing up she was bullied a lot and had some friends betray her trust, so now she's a bit standoffish with new people as a sort of defense mechanism. Friends can't betray you if you have none, right? People can't attack your insecurities if you hide them behind enough false confidence, right?

She read the words "fake it til you make it" and she FELT that shit. In junior year of high school, she started closing herself off, whilst putting on a show of false confidence. She began insulting people back when they made fun of her, and eventually they seemed to shut up and stop bothering her. So that's been her strategy for the last few years.

As such, she might be a bit of an asshole at the start. It'll take some work for her to open up to working with the other two. Knowing her she'd probably try to go it alone several times and get her ass kicked hard a few times before begrudgingly admitting she needs their help.

Maybe as she befriends them and slowly lets them into her heart, she'll realize that not everyone will betray her and that she can trust people again.

I'd say her biggest fear is being all alone. As much as she intentionally tries to drive people away so that they can't hurt her, she's also fucking terrified of being fully alone. She wants people to love and trust, but she feels like it could just lead to more pain. And yet... She doesn't want to be alone.

As for Zaps, I'm still working on her personality and her whole name, but I'm thinking she'll try out "Hannah" first

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Autism & Dyspraxia Troubles

I still remember the day my sister got married. I was a young boy with twelve years of existence under my belt. The week before the wedding, my parents sent me off to my grandparents as they made their final finishing touches to the wedding.

Finally, the day comes. It was the end of July, so it was pretty hot outside. Little did I know, that would be the least of my problems. For you see, my sister opted for a country-themed wedding. Thus, everyone had to wear jeans.

I've hated wearing jeans my whole life. They feel so uncomfortable on me, not to mention I have trouble getting them off because of my dyspraxia. To this day, I still absolutely refuse to wear jeans for any reason if I can avoid it.

We also had to wear country-themed shirts, which wasn't so bad, but still pretty uncomfortable. My mom, who was surprisingly understanding, said, "As soon as they are officially married, Dad has put more comfortable clothes for you in the bathroom."

I couldn't make it all the way. I sprinted into the bathroom to change long before the ceremony was actually to take place. I was the odd-one-out out of hundreds of people. I felt like an outcast, even though I was literally related to the bride.

And the hundreds of people drove me over the edge with my autism at a constant rate. Even hiding out in the bathroom, I could not get a moment of peace. I made it clear to my parents that I wanted to go home, but they kept sticking around anyway, for about another hour. We were literally there until 2AM, and I just wanted to crash on my bed and sleep until 2PM. As an added bonus, during that time, there was some asshole who would drop the f-bomb at least 3-4 times in every goddamn sentence that I could hear clear as day. Real fucking mature, dude.

That was the first and, to date, only wedding I have ever attended. It should not be hard to understand why.

[backpockct]

INTRODUCING CLARA RIVERA WRITTEN (AND LOVED!) BY CORRIE 

   ⸻     have  you  ever  heard  my kind of woman  by  mac demarco  ,  well  it  is  CLARA RIVERA  to  a  tee.  the  forty one year  old history teacher at NOTTING HILL HIGH been  spotted  wandering  down  portobello  road  markets  just  last  sunday  ,  do  you  know  them  ?  would  you  say  she  are  more CLUMSY   or  more  AFFABLE  ?  anyway  ,  they  remind  me  of  dog eared notebooks, hair styles held together with pens, half drunk mugs of coffee,  late nights spent marking kids work and bright smiles maybe  you'll  catch  them  around  yeah ?     ⸻     [          ◟  JESSICA CHASTAIN. ◝           ]

triggers: mentions of bullying 

THE BASICS: 

full name: clara eleanor spencer 

birthday: 24th march 1981 (41 years old)

gender: cis woman (she/her)

sexuality: heterosexual

relationship status: married 

BASIC INTRO: 

clara is from lambourne in essex, she’s the oldest of two and has a younger sister. 

she had a pretty idyllic childhood before she went into school but her parents always thought something was off.

she was and still is, very clumsy, she struggled doing up zips + buttons. she also didn’t start walking properly until she was almost three years old. 

but back in those days, these kinds of things got brushed under the carpet and clara started school, she had the worst time ever.

she was bullied bc she was different and she hated it. she wasn’t a fan, she eneded up having to move schools. 

once she was done with high-school, she decided to go onto university, hoping for a fresh start.

she’d always had a fascination with history, she LOVED IT and so she decided that she’d become a history teacher. 

although clara had been bullied, she wanted to support the kids of the future, to be better people and not do that.

she really enjoyed university and thrived in that environment, as she had a lot more freedom to do whatever she wanted. 

clara also met her future husband at university, they both ran in the same friendship group, and they were friends at first, they eventually got very close and started dating. 

during her first year at uni, she tried to have a job on the side, she worked as a waitress but she kept dropping things, she tried to work as a cashier at a clothing store but kept getting overstimulated and skipping out on shifts.

she ended up going to the doctors and they told her that she had dyspraxia, then things started making sense for clara!! 

now as an adult, she’s a lot better, she’s learnt things that help her deal with her dyspraxia. she’s still pretty clumsy but she can laugh about that now. 

throughout all of this she stayed with her husband, he was incredibly supportive and the pair are very much in love. he’s always cheering her on, helping her with things she struggles with etc. 

clara has two children with her husband and they’ve recently found out that they are expecting a third, exciting!!

she works as a history teacher at the local high school, her life is good now and she couldn’t be happier!! 

WANTED CONNECTIONS: 

friends (parent friends, university friends etc) 

younger sister (pls message me first)

co-workers

neighbours

if you’d like to plot with any of my muses please feel free to hit me up on discord @ corey in wetherspoons ™#0678!!

[dragonfly0808]

The Sibling Squad (Roxy’s Crew)

This particular thingy was something I came up with at some point at the very end of s1/very beginning of s2 (which is why the ages were retconned every so slightly at this point and Shirley didn’t start at Cloud Tower till season 3).

This is something I was very excited about and, even if very few of you care, I thought I might let you take a peek into my brain and see why I chose the siblings I chose for Roxy’s squad and what each one of them kinda represents/is a foil for.

I’ll go in the order that they were introduced in the series.

Starting off with!!!! Shirley.

I chose Shirley after building up her personality and I feel like she fits flawlessly in as the oldest of the squad. One reason I really wanted her there is for being a witch, to have a good witch tm (and also a fairy-witch romance but that’s neither here nor there) to show off the differences in the way they work.

Of course, there’s also the fact that Shirley has been really dependent on Riven for most her life and, aside from her brother, she’s been pretty much on her own and she’s also the youngest of her coven, so I thought that the dynamic of her suddenly being the oldest of a group she loves and feels responsible for could be very interesting.

Shirley is very protective, she wants to be the protector and not the protected when it comes to this squad, and I thought that could be a cool thing to explore, even if it’s more implied/observed than anything else.

I chose Shirley to be, perhaps not the leader, but the oldest and most protective of the group. You could say she’s almost the Stella of the group… but obviously not really.

Next up, Alexa. Alexa is Brandon’s little sister and I think I’d mentioned previously that she’s ever so slightly inspired by Alisson Argent from Teen Wolf, cause I loved her growing up and it just kinda fit with the character I pictured for Brandon’s sister.

I haven’t gotten to explore Alexa very much, I think she’s probably the least ‘known’ and with less ‘screentime’ in the sibling squad. I did however have her establish kinda what her main goal is in her first appearance in s4, that being to carve out her own place in Red Fountain and not just be recognized for her brother.

She wants to be her own person and, whilst she is incredibly proud of her brother, she doesn’t want to live in his shadow, thus why, she picks the bow as her main weapon, since her brother never excelled in that area, he was only ever ‘okay’ with the bow.

Alexa is probably one of the more outgoing in the group, she is very extroverted and she’s unapolagetic about who she is and what she wants. She grew up with Stella and Sky and learned a lot from both of them on how to just keep going and, just by watching them and her brother, she knows how to deal with different people.

Alexa is a leader, ambitious yet kind, and she will be (at least in battle) the leader of the sibling squad.

Then there’s Naten, who I think is one of the most beloved OC in the series.

Naten is the glue and heart of the group I feel, a farm boy with a heart of gold and more love than he knows what to do with.

He’s a jokester who hides a lot of his complexity behind his soft exterior. It’s not something he really does on purpose, he just doesn’t care how people may think of him or if they underestimate him for liking to joke around.

Like I’ve mentioned before he’s a bit of a jack of all trades and if there are 2 things that define him in Red Fountain it’s his versatility and his dedication. In his character moodboard, I mention that he has dyspraxia, and, despite having occupational therapy with his mom, who also has dyspraxia, he still struggles with it, so he tends to practice a lot to completely master every technique he can in Red Fountain.

Naten has layers, but his main traits are his dedication/stuborness and his love.

^All of them were introduced and had their personalities kinda written in profiles before I even had the idea for the sibling squad, so their ‘roles’ in the group felt very organic to me and were mostly happy coincidences. 

The final two are the ones that were written already knowing that they would be a part of this group.

I loved coming up with my version of Chimera. Making her a vulnerable, insecure girl and having her almost be a foil to Stella was just… ugh, light bulb moment for me, truly.

If you payed attention last chapter you may have noticed that Chimera seems to be getting more powerful. A lot of it is thanks to Stella giving her the staff but it’s also thanks to Chimera constantly practicing to be better.

Chimera has a dual role in the group. First, she’s the tank, the one with the power crawl that’ll eventually be a force to be reckoned with. She may seem a bit overpowered this last chapter but it was a very calm situation in which she had full control and already knew the environment and had created similar illusions there before, it wouldn’t exactly be the same in a fight.

Second, she’s the quiet one. She’s naturally introverted and a quite shy/socially awkward. Traits that were made worse after Valtor’s curse.

She’s 1 of the 2 introverts to balance out all the extroverts. She’s the studious one, the soft spoken one, that doesn’t always know how to stand her ground.

She’s also the one who was the loneliest and most isolated before joining the group, she feels a bit insecure about her spot in the group and is just happy to be included.

She’s learning to be a part of the group and is terrified of losing them.

Finally, the one I know you’ve all been waiting for, even though she isn’t technically a sibling, Roxy.

Roxy is the last to join the squad, and she’s the one who will truly bring them together. Cause, at the moment Alexa and Naten are the closest, and the others are more friendly than besties.

Roxy will be the missing piece to fully pull the group together.

Roxy will be the catalyst for the squad to truly become their own thing, to go from being the Sibling Squad, to Roxy’s Crew.

I won’t explain Roxy as much as the others since she’s already gotten a lot more screentime in 10 chapters than the others have had in 3 seasons.

Finally, some of you may or may not wonder why the whole Naten/Chimera mutual crush.

That’s mostly cause it’s cute and I came up with it on the spot when planning out their summer chronicle.

Then I truly stopped to think about it and realized once more, I am a fucking genius.

Chimera is insecure and doesn’t think much of herself, she’s working on herself and being true to herself, it’s logical she’d fall for a soft boy, a boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is unapologetic about who he is.

Naten has more heart than anything else, yes, he at first glance, falls for Chimera’s looks (which by the way I thought it’d be adorable to have him fall for her first for her looks when Chimera has never felt pretty) and then he falls for yet another soft soul that is trying to be true. Who is just as dedicated as he is. 

They’re both triers. Both kids who have to practice time and time again because they don’t have natural talent, but they have an insane amount of determination. That’s something they can understand about each other.

So, going in age order; Shirley is the oldest and the protector.

Naten is the glue.

Chimera is the tank and the quiet one.

Alexa is the leader.

And Roxy is the missing piece.

And I… am very excited to explore them further and… their very first, full appearance, all 5 of them together will be in just two chapters, in chapter 17!!!

[elamarth-calmagol]

I really like it when I get vivid, story-like dreams.  But I usually can’t remember the details when I wake up, or they don’t make any sense anymore.  But I got a good one the other night.

So this dream was about a demon or body-snatching alien or something that would possess people and, after a while, kill their entire family in some ritual to create their own body or open portals or something.  I wasn’t very clear on the endgame.  So in my dream, this happened once, but in the next movie/episode/chapter (I often experience my dreams as books or movies), the demon accidentally grabbed a nonverbal autistic teenage girl to possess.  And at first he’s like, “This is fine, she just doesn’t know how to talk, but I do, so no problem,” but then he realizes that her body has dyspraxia/apraxia so bad that he CAN’T talk.  Or write.  Or do a lot of other things that demons kind of need to do for rituals.  And he’s like, “How do I do all my nefarious plans now?” But then he learns that she has an iPad with a picture-to-talk program on it that she’s never really been taught to use.  And most of the choices are food or whatever, but she also has access to a keyboard. So, he goes and taps on the letters with one finger and types out “FUCK YOU” and sits back and giggles while the iPad reads it out.  And her parents are like, “The first time our daughter ever talks, it’s to say F-you to us?!” And he’s just sitting there thinking, “I’m not your daughter, muahaha.”

After that, I mostly went back and “edited” the story (like I said, I experience my dreams like books a lot of the time).  I learned that the girl was very tall and had long, straight, light brown hair in a ponytail, which is honestly the most vivid description I’ve gotten of a dream character in YEARS.  Also, it turns out she got possessed because she was hanging around watching her preteen sister and friends play with a Ouija board.  Things went weird, and lightbulbs burst or whatever, and the girls all panicked a bit and then checked whether everyone was okay, but they didn’t talk to the autistic girl because, you know, they assumed she didn’t even know what was going on. Maybe if they had, it would have gone differently.

So then I woke up, and I was like: first of all, WTF brain, and secondly, I kind of want to read a book based on this?

Like, they start to work together, and he really improves her life! He makes people pay attention to her and treat her like a human being. And he goes from a really, genuinely, unrepentantly evil being who loves making people murder their families to actually caring about her. Until she decides she wants to move forward on her own... but he wants to stay. Besides, as far as he knows, there are only two ways out of a body he's spent this much time in: a bloody ritual to give him the power to possess a new body, or an exorcism that sends him back to Hell for decades to regain his strength. What now?

[revenantscholar]

Especially after my training and certification as a psychotherapist, I am suspicious of most of those categories, but here it goes, since I once received a question about this, and my response was that I let narcissists be, but I do not want them close to me. I have had my share since my earliest childhood.

I do not mind a benign form of narcissism to some extent. I do not mind young woman or a young man who are self-obsessed, because young people have to figure themselves out.

I do mind it when they try to suck the life out of autistic and dyspraxic me by constantly telling me how beautiful and desirable and important they are and by belittling or pitying me for not adhering to conventional norms.

Narcissism is actively encouraged in late capitalism to an unprecedented degree. Trump is most certainly a malign narcissist, and varieties of that is what I am addressing below.

Having grown up with a narcissistic mother and half-sister made me deeply alienated from most forms of femininity. I am AFAB, but I have a hard time relating to most women.

In my twenties, all my close female friendships (and there were dozens) and physical attractions were based off them talking about their beauty and their admirers and me always being the silent listener and a caretaker, because I was a refugee and I thought I would have to be grateful for every crumb.

I was literally told I was an ugly duckling by one of them. Another one would give me gifts and then take them away to give them to their other best friend. A third one would spend hours telling me about her many boyfriends and admirers, and she relished that I so rarely had anyone. Hours upon hours of my life just listening to them about how special and physically beautiful they were.

I was falling for it in the same way that children of alcoholics often fall for them. I did not know that people could be different. Simultaneously, I did have to spend some time figuring out how narcissism presents in men, and lo and behold, my half-brother was also one. That entire fucking family branch.

I still have one relative in my life who is like that, and the older I am, the harder it is for me to tolerate it, especially when it comes with actual eyelash batting. Sometimes I just get up and leave the room without saying anything. Autistic shutdown.

Maybe it was my autism and dyspraxia which made me different. It certainly made me a target for bullies, even though I usually hit back.

When I rebelled against that form of friendship in my thirties, none of them understood why I changed. I came out as bisexual and genderbending, and I learned just how conventional they were. I threw all of that off the cliff. I mourned the loss for some years, but now I find it freeing.

When I encounter a kind and gentle woman who actually wants an egalitarian friendship, I feel like someone thirsty being offered a big cup of water. I do not even feel lust. Just relief.

For whatever reason, my karma with men has been different. The most important men in my life have been gentle and often more socially feminist than I am. My feminism is focused on one practical thing -- equal pay.

I think everyone who calls the term "narcissistic abuse" ableist should be forced to explain how the hell narcissism disables a person, and what disability even means. This is the vector through which we should interrogate these people and their beliefs. In what world is someone disabled for how they abuse a human being? How does being evil make someone disabled, especially when this word describes the most successful and powerful people in our society? We need to challenge the idea that these people belong to a protected class, it is the fundamental building block of their abuse apologia. Narcissists are not materially disadvantaged, nor are they socially disadvantaged. Narcissists' ability to charm other people through manipulation is a notable aspect of the abuse.

It is also worth saying that you could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that these people are neurologically different from other people and it wouldn't actually mean anything, unless it could be proven that real, actual discrimination against narcissists exists in society.

[octoagentmiles]

Any headcanons for the octoagents?

This is an old ask, my apologies 😅 I wasn't sure how to start, because there's so many. This is gonna be a long post.

Paani:

Definitely not neurotypical but I can't place how; He seems to have low empathy for people, but hyperempathy for objects (his measuring pole and waterboard) and a rigid moral compass (why he stole the Gup-H and their water without thinking, because he thought it was right).

I can see him as both being gay and aro, so I'm gonna say he is both. yeah.

Multilingual, mostly speaks English and Hindi, but can also speak Spanish, and a lot of Indigenous languages.

Chose his own name.

Tracker:

Autistic, was diagnosed young

Barnacles' first actual friend in the cub scouts

Also friends with Bianca: he visits her and the cubs regularly

Fluent in ASL/BSL; goes nonverbal during meltdowns/shutdowns

The Polar Emergency Post Station also has a Text to Speech messaging option for him to use just in case he's ever nonverbal during a crisis

He's younger than Barnacles (but older than Kwazii, so like 28-ish), and really looks up to him in a "big brother" way

Hits his head (lightly) or pulls his fur as a stim

They/he vibes. I feel like he's nonbinary but doesn't realize it

Natquik:

Grandfather figure to Barnacles; his relationship with him mirrors Kwazii and Calico Jack's

He's an immigrant, that's why he has a Russian accent

Maybe like 40-50-ish years old??

Noticed Barnacles was autistic immediately upon meeting him, and chose to become his personal mentor for that reason. He's autistic himself

^ would've done the same with Tracker had they met earlier

Calico Jack:

Shunned by his family/crew, he left on his journey to the Amazon River because he had to leave them

Would've come back for Kwazii eventually, he wrote letters to him everyday. Most of them got lost, but the ones that didn't contained spooky monstery tales

Pete is almost as old as he is (60-ish)

Guess who else is autistic???? that's right, this guy!!! also has dyscalculia

Left handed/ambidextrous because Pete always sits on his right arm, so he taught himself to use the other

Can speak Japanese

Asexual he/they because I say so

Ranger Marsh:

Let Tweak dye his fur last time she visited before the Great Swamp Search (the dye is like, SUPER permanent. Tweak engineered it herself)

Can't swim, that's why he'd never been under the swamp's waters

Taught Tweak how to grow carrots, and a bunch of recipes

Excellent forager

ADHD and dysgraphia (but never diagnosed)

Pearl:

Dyslexia and dyspraxia. She struggles with coordination and spatial awareness, and she's not very good with her hands.

Nerd™ almost moreso than Shellington

Around the same age as Barnacles, so like 31-35.

Always tired for some reason

Abrosexual. That's all.

Min:

Her colour scheme is literally orange, white, and pink, need I say more?

Hypermobile

10-ish years younger than Inkling, so about 50-60.

English is her second language, Mandarin is her first

Paints as a hobby; she likes to paint rocks and leave them in the places she travels, then mark them on her maps

Totally knows kung fu

Ryla:

Gay gay homosexual gay and they/she

The neurotypical friend 😔 /lh

She and Dashi definitely had a Thing™ together at some point

Can NOT cook. Has really bad taste buds in general.

Probably has a bunch of scars from cave diving

They've been stuck in caves for much longer than "a few days" before; this started happening much more often after Dashi left

Koshi:

Autism. no neurotypical child reads 56 novels in that short of a time because they feel like it.

Instead of not noticing/struggling with social ques, she's hyperaware of them at all times. She heard Barnacles say his catchphrase ("Let's do this!") once in her first appearance, then stole it from him immediately in AnB.

Stims very "loudly" (jumping, screaming, arm flapping)

Calls Dashi "Sis" because that's what Donna Doxie calls her sister. The author of that book is siblingless.

Pinto:

ADHD; coincidentally happened to be having a hyperfixation on pirates when he met Kwazii in his first appearance

Kwazii hooked onto that AND recognized his ADHD right away, which is why he bonded with him so fast (he reminded him of a younger version of himself)

Struggles with executive dysfunction sometimes, and jumps from one interest to another constantly

He started school recently, and it's made him more aware about his "inability to focus" and he's been feeling kinda insecure about it

^ he's gonna have fun being a Junior Agent, because at least half the Octonauts have ADHD too, so he'll feel more understood and accepted with them :)

[shatteredfears-arch]

also casual reminder but shortish so its more likely to be seen that my cassie

DOES have the scar and her hair doesn’t grow where the scar is, thus it’s like a small shaved/bald spot right on her side and a lil ways up. Often, she’ll cover it with her hair if she’s not wearing a hood.

has TWO TONED eyes/heterochroma! It was caused pre mutation, so she’s had it since the 50s at least when she was turned. her left eye is silver, and she can’t see more than blotchy figures from it. her right eye is golden. if one looked closely enough, they might still be able to see the faintest hint of a scar over her left eye. she also squints the left eye a lot, it doesn’t open all the way; so squinting is probably what other people would think it is since she’s not swollen there at all. 

the symbol on her forehead is NOT fully formed. It was a tattoo from when she first arrived in the village, and Bela and Daniela’s coven from their human lives brought her in; it is a witch related symbol, and done in honor of miranda. however when the cadou took over their forms and turned them into mutated creatures, it altered the symbol. bela is the sister with the fully formed crest, cassandra’s looks more ghostly in spots, it’s not fully formed and there’s no moon, but the rose is clear. dani’s (my dani) has the dagger mostly, and a small portion of the moon, the rose is not entirely visible as more than a bud. 

cass has noticeable balance issues stemming from dyspraxia. she’s also dyslexic (though, not as much of an issue for her given she can’t exactly see out of an eye anyways, so she just shoves things at her sisters to look over if they need to tbh. she doesn’t even notice it since she doesnt look at words or numbers, and as a dyslexic i can confirm avoiding such things helps a bit.) 

ik the games have them having v v human teeth but i like to imagine their canines are like lil fangs. fangs are cute f u.

ironically, despite being claimed as the most sadistic, daniela is canonically more sadistic than cassie is-- or, more violent, really. bc dani isn’t doing it for pleasure, at least not the way cassie is. 

she’s shorter than her sisters. ik the bts posts show that all three are supposed to be 6′ WITH heels, but in game when the three are next to mom, dani and bela are almost the same and cassie is noticeably shorter than daniela, and a little bit shorter than bela. thus, i place her at 5′11″. 6′ because of her heels.