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#my rants on life
carinathefairy · 10 months
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Hello pumpkins
You know what i feel strange about me, as i told before, i tend to pack everything up and when i write i find a good way to let it go (my virgo sun showing ahahah)
But when i find that i wrote what i needed i tend to not write anymore until i feel the need to, but like need need.
i try my best to catch up with my emotions but most of the times they fly away and pack themselves deep in my subconscious so when i explode its all the emotions that were behind that i did nor write or at least express
i tried to create an habit of writing but seems to slip away and i end up not doing it!
I truly recommend for people that have a racy mind to explore this part, it is hard to keep it a habit, at least for me, but it truly calms my mind and makes the fogginess go away for a little bit.
Today is no rant just a self reflection and maybe it helps someone in some way.
Thank you for your existence and i love you very much ✨💜✨😘
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catmask · 11 months
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when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people
the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to
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tropicalscream · 11 months
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its good that people have enjoyed smaller tits and that not everyone with tits feels the need to be DDD minimum to feel worthy if attention
but this mentality needs to be more with dicks. The whole obsession with big dicks is rooted in so much bad shit from misogyny to racism and more. Its fine to have a preference but not when it excludes all others and you treat them as lesser for not having it
As a very fat trans woman i deal with this two-fold and im sure many others do as well. Our weight/size making us shoved into the DomTop corner but then mocked & belittled for having a dick thats smaller then average. Like what do expect weight gain, depression and hrt to do?
Cis dudes deal.with this too. and this mentality of what a dick is "supposed" to look like hurts our trans brothers as well
its this mentality of big = top = dom = proper
small = bttm = sub = embarrassing/gross
its fucked up and so many ppl perpetuate it. how many times do u see/hear ppl post about big dicks and etc etc but the only context for smaller ones is humiliation?
we all gotta get less fucked up about dicks
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ozzyeelz · 2 years
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Collection of le fishe memes from an aspiring marine biologist 🦈
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sameboot · 1 year
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Simon petrikov coping FAIL compilation
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theladystrikesagain · 7 months
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how does a show released in 2024 fail harder in showcasing fully rounded female characters with flaws and strengths and rich personalities than a cartoon from the 2000s. why has television & film legitimately regressed across the years when it comes to showing women as human beings lmao
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sharkylad · 24 days
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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evilesbiautism · 8 months
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The most common argument you'll hear against self diagnosis is that people will fake being [X] for attention. But every disabled person, physical or otherwise, knows this could only work in online spaces - the world was not made for us, and brandishing your disability as a badge of honor that gives you ~special privileges~ is such a funny idea.
Like, honey - that doesn't happen. No one gets anything from being disabled. Maybe extra accommodations if you're lucky - but nothing else. And the internet isn't as important as you seem to think - eventually it just feels hollow.
Ask disabled people how often they had to fight to get diagnosed so their medical needs could be met and their complaints would be heard. Doctors are just hardwired to delay this as much as possible.
I knew I was autistic since late 2018 - I got an official diagnosis 4 months ago. Knowing yourself and how you can make your own life easier is a lifesaver.
And this isn't even going into how many *cons* there are to a professional diagnosis, like being met with disdain at best and denied services at worst.
I don't care if a 16 year old who self diagnosed after taking 1 online quiz about autism is wrong. And honestly I think it's weird people treat this 'issue' with so much hatred.
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ev-cupcake · 8 months
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As someone who lives in a four generation home with 16 (almost 17 come April) people. I was wondering.
Please reblog for larger sample size. I am genuinely curious to know what normal is.
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bread-that-draws · 1 year
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Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you
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clouvu · 2 months
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Desiderium
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carinathefairy · 4 months
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Hello beautiful pumpkins
I have a thought to write because i don't feel secure yet to speak it out loud, at least it gets a bit out of my chest.
I am falling in love, again or I think is a again, but i am afraid of getting my heart broken and at the same time i know that exact feeling will happen one day...
The thing is that i don't need advice for it or ears to hear, just patience and understanding for myself because i know this will cost me something, and I had my fair share of losing pieces of me to people i love even tho i love to give them!
And i think i am just afraid of giving that little but so big of a piece to someone that i feel that deserves it, i feel like them had so much bad things around there life that a little bit of my love will be well served.
To love without fear i feel like is not possible only that you need to make peace with those intricate emotions, emotions that go all over the place ahaha
Thank you for your time little pumpkins, only i needed to write a bit and maybe it will help you with something for this is not only for love relationships but for everything surrounding you!!
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loganswdc · 3 months
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y'all know me , i'm a logan defender till the day i die , but today i have to speak on both him AND alex . the race was fucking horrendous for them . alex's engine TURNING OFF and being told "it's all okay 😊" is genuinely ridiculous . HOW CAN THEY TELL HIM EVERYTHING IS OKAY WHEN THE GODDAMN ENGINE JUST TURNED OFF MID RACE ??? THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE ????
it's insane how awful williams has been this weekend honestly ; from taking away the upgrades they gave to logan because they "weren't working" , to telling alex that everything looks okay on their end when his engine turned off is ridiculous . and i guarantee you james is gonna go on the williams instagram with his little post-race debrief segment and not say SHIT about logan . it's so infuriating how the car is this shit . genuinely , how is it possible that the UPGRADES DIDN'T WORK ???? SO YOU TAKE THEM AWAY MIDWAY THROUGH THE WEEKEND ??????? it's fucking incredible !!!! actually fucking incredible !!!!!! i'm so pissed post race today , for both logan and alex , they deserve so much better and this weekend so bad . i feel awful for them and the shit they have to go through on the daily .
i'm this cat rn.
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mothinflamesdoodles · 11 months
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cokejoints · 3 months
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shinysobi · 4 months
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"it was awkward to see colin flirt and behave like a rake" "he gave me the ick" yes ! that is the fucking point!! congratulations! you have the media literacy skills of a fucking monkey because my 4-year old niece could understand it better than you do.
we are supposed to find colin cringey and annoying and get the ick because that is not who he is. he is not anthony, or simon, or even benedict. colin (apart from gregory) is the sweetest of all bridgerton brothers (i'm going by book canon) and his most identifiable character trait is the fact that he values an emotional connection above everything. he runs away to the continent because he wants to feel that emotional connection. he has meaningless sex in brothels because that is the example he has seen growing up, that is the norm. he tries so hard to fit into the norm. he goes out drinking, adopts an entirely new personality, learns flirtations because that is how he thinks he will fit in. he's got armour on, as violet said. he puts everyone's needs above his own, he stops rambling on and boring his family with details of his trip because he knows no one cares. he doesn't talk to anthony or benedict about his heartaches because he knows they still, somewhere in their heart of hearts, view him as the annoying younger brother. he's so devastated by his closest friend not responding to him that he adopts a new personality in the hopes that it might mask the hurt better. he runs after penelope in episode one because he is so attuned to her emotions that he knows she's hurting, and tries to comfort her even when she's spiraling and lashes out. he must have been hurt by her words in the "good night mr bridgerton" scene but he puts it aside to genuinely apologise to her when literally no one else in that family would do that. colin, instead of brooding over his own feelings, goes and corners penelope in her family's garden and apologises to her, disregarding his own hurt at being cruelly dismissed by his close friend.
penelope asking colin to kiss her is not a mark of how "pathetic" she is. she has written and shamed herself in a manner that is almost entirely unsalvageable. she is at her lowest point, and then portia comes in and reminds her of how undesirable she is, and she sinks even lower. she asks colin to kiss her because she sees it as a final act, after which she can quietly wave goodbye to her dreams of ever getting married and leaving her mother's home. colin kisses her because he is also keenly aware of how she's feeling. he knows how hurt she is, he wants to do anything to alleviate that. be it cracking a joke, or kissing her. he is gentle, because he wants it to be something she can dream of when she's by herself. penelope, at this moment, has no hope for herself, and their kiss is an act of letting go for her. no, it's not a pity kiss, no he did not like her after her glow up, he has always loved her. him being struck dumb is a reaction to her physical transformation, nothing more. he does not flirt with her in that ballroom scene, he only approaches her when she's in distress. he's not flirting with her. i can assure you penelope could wear the frumpiest most neon yellow gown of all time and colin would still go "<333 my pen" for her.
colin jumps to catch the balloon's ropes because he sees that penelope is in danger, he does not give a shit about anyone else lmao. he feels temporary relief when he sees eloise run to safety, but the moment he sees penelope in immediate danger, he rushes to take action. afterwards, when he sees that she's being comforted by debling (all my homies hate debling, even if he is aro/ace coded i do NOT claim him) he does not approach her. it would be easy for him to do so, but he does not, because he respects her boundaries. colin bridgerton is the only man in the ton who respects women (the featherington sons-in-laws are too pretty to have a thought) he calls out fife and his friends for treating women like objects and calls them cavalier. the only way he would have been more explicit about his demisexuality was if he tap danced on the club table (entertaining thought, luke newton please)
colin also rapidly takes action, something which no one in the show has done so far. simon would have died instead of accepting his feelings for daphne, daphne would have been content with a loveless marriage forever instead of asking for help. kate would have pushed edwina down the aisle and gone off to india instead of confronting her own feelings, and anthony would have married edwina if she hadn't been brave enough for the three of them to run from the altar and ruin herself. penelope stood on the sidelines for years and loved him quietly because she had no hope of him loving her back. colin, the moment he is assured of his feelings, runs to penelope, almost kisses her in the middle of a ballroom. when he hears that debling is about to propose, he goes to the ball, just to dissuade penelope one more time. he cuts into their dance because he's desperate. when he runs after her carriage, he asks her if she has been proposed to, because he would not have touched her otherwise. he confesses his feelings to her only when he knows that she hasn't gotten engaged to debling, and when she says "but we are friends" he moves away. nothing more. he would have let her go, if she did not return his feelings.
idk whether i should be flattered or offended at people misunderstanding this season because on one hand it is offensive, but on the other hand, it means only smart people get polin. seriously. your minds have been rotted by insta-love and enemies to lovers that you can't even appreciate the innate beauty of friends to lovers. being friends with someone and then holding all those feelings for them. the trepidation of possible rejection. the fulfillment of being loved by the person who knows you the best of them all. the privilege of loving someone whose feelings you know better than your own. love is gentle and kind and yes it is a violent, uprooting force but above all, love does not hurt anyone. it does not hurt you. i could love someone quietly for years and it wouldn't bother me if their feelings were requited or not because my feelings are none of their business and i consider it a privilege to love and be loved by them, even if it is not in the way i would want it to be. polin are privileged in the highest sense. they know each other better than anyone else, they know how to love each other better than anyone else. to think they are rushed or they dont deserve each other is a disservice to both of them. they would be miserable with anyone else.
in other matters, if i see one more person talking smack about luke or nicola behind the safety of their screens i will personally get a bazooka.
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