#my rants on life
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carinathefairy · 7 days ago
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A letter for the lover i will not get, for the lover that i can't love for him is not meant to be loved, even tho my heart tells me otherwise.
You say you love me but why don't you want to make the effort to stay. You say you love me but yet you succumb to your desires. You say you love me but you don't let me fight for you and you don't let yourself fight for us. You say you love me but instead of reaching out when things are bad you run away. You say you love me but yet you say you want to be free. You say you love but yet those lips do not belong to mine but to the girls you desire. You say you love me but you disgrace yourself for being the one doing the mistakes. You say you love me but you feed me with the i am just a pretty face i am rotten on the inside. You say you love me but you need to stay away from me because of my smell, because of my perfum it intoxicates you and you can't control but want me. You say you love me and so you do because you prefer to suffer with the idea of me than to hurt me further with your actions. You say you love me and even tho you do all of those thing to me, to yourself, i know you love me, because the way i love you you love me too but your heart is not ready to love...that is my harsh truth, to love someone that is not ready to love...you say you can't forget me that you see my face everytime you kiss another, everytime you want more than just kiss, i am there, but baby, i am the one not forgetting you for my heart fell for someone that i cannot reach, for a half that is not meant to be completed...my heart will not move on, not for a long time, i am yours and forever will be, because the piece i gave to you was love and my sweet boy what a big piece you have.
So dont put such beautiful words in that beautiful mouth of yours when in reality they are just mere words...words that you don't really want to make them true for ego and desires right now are stronger than the love you want to feel.
i will always be here, for you, waiting for a miracle to happen, for a dream of youth that love prevails even on the darkest times, even tho is unhealthy for me, not fair for me or even for you...but i can't control my heart and you my darling will live there forever, for the memories we created were as beautiful as the pain you gave me.
I will love you, always
carina
You are the unavailable guy, that wants love but can't handle the intensity of it...
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catmask · 1 year ago
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when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people
the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to
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tropicalscream · 1 year ago
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its good that people have enjoyed smaller tits and that not everyone with tits feels the need to be DDD minimum to feel worthy if attention
but this mentality needs to be more with dicks. The whole obsession with big dicks is rooted in so much bad shit from misogyny to racism and more. Its fine to have a preference but not when it excludes all others and you treat them as lesser for not having it
As a very fat trans woman i deal with this two-fold and im sure many others do as well. Our weight/size making us shoved into the DomTop corner but then mocked & belittled for having a dick thats smaller then average. Like what do expect weight gain, depression and hrt to do?
Cis dudes deal.with this too. and this mentality of what a dick is "supposed" to look like hurts our trans brothers as well
its this mentality of big = top = dom = proper
small = bttm = sub = embarrassing/gross
its fucked up and so many ppl perpetuate it. how many times do u see/hear ppl post about big dicks and etc etc but the only context for smaller ones is humiliation?
we all gotta get less fucked up about dicks
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ozzyeelz · 2 years ago
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Collection of le fishe memes from an aspiring marine biologist 🦈
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sameboot · 1 year ago
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Simon petrikov coping FAIL compilation
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theladystrikesagain · 9 months ago
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how does a show released in 2024 fail harder in showcasing fully rounded female characters with flaws and strengths and rich personalities than a cartoon from the 2000s. why has television & film legitimately regressed across the years when it comes to showing women as human beings lmao
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sharkylad · 2 months ago
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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kaiaelsher · 12 days ago
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Quite literally him. (I'm sorry I just can't accept the fact that my man gets too much babygirlified to the point of an unknown bratty excuse of a creature when he's quite literally a CRIMINAL and a GOD, and just can casually threaten to murder someone then actually does it without batting an eye.)
And isn't it just ironic when it has been clued several times that it was rafayel's intentions? He enjoyed making people thinking they have the upper hands when BOOM gotcha mf.
Like how can you expect a person who've lived for God knows how long (he's the God so he knows) watching his family massacred by human and have his lover ripped away from him, also watched how despicable, disgusting, vile, and wretched his lover's people are to become this bratty little bitch who knows nothing but just be sassy and act like a spoiled princess all the time? He's so complex and so many people are not getting it, I feel like I'm so close on ripping my scalp apart
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k1tty5 · 2 months ago
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mezalean smalletho won’t leave my brain
closeups
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and also extra doodles because i’m going to goinsane
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evilesbiautism · 9 months ago
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The most common argument you'll hear against self diagnosis is that people will fake being [X] for attention. But every disabled person, physical or otherwise, knows this could only work in online spaces - the world was not made for us, and brandishing your disability as a badge of honor that gives you ~special privileges~ is such a funny idea.
Like, honey - that doesn't happen. No one gets anything from being disabled. Maybe extra accommodations if you're lucky - but nothing else. And the internet isn't as important as you seem to think - eventually it just feels hollow.
Ask disabled people how often they had to fight to get diagnosed so their medical needs could be met and their complaints would be heard. Doctors are just hardwired to delay this as much as possible.
I knew I was autistic since late 2018 - I got an official diagnosis 4 months ago. Knowing yourself and how you can make your own life easier is a lifesaver.
And this isn't even going into how many *cons* there are to a professional diagnosis, like being met with disdain at best and denied services at worst.
I don't care if a 16 year old who self diagnosed after taking 1 online quiz about autism is wrong. And honestly I think it's weird people treat this 'issue' with so much hatred.
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clouvu · 3 months ago
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Desiderium
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carinathefairy · 11 months ago
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Hello pumpkins
You know what i feel strange about me, as i told before, i tend to pack everything up and when i write i find a good way to let it go (my virgo sun showing ahahah)
But when i find that i wrote what i needed i tend to not write anymore until i feel the need to, but like need need.
i try my best to catch up with my emotions but most of the times they fly away and pack themselves deep in my subconscious so when i explode its all the emotions that were behind that i did nor write or at least express
i tried to create an habit of writing but seems to slip away and i end up not doing it!
I truly recommend for people that have a racy mind to explore this part, it is hard to keep it a habit, at least for me, but it truly calms my mind and makes the fogginess go away for a little bit.
Today is no rant just a self reflection and maybe it helps someone in some way.
Thank you for your existence and i love you very much ✨💜✨😘
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ev-cupcake · 9 months ago
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As someone who lives in a four generation home with 16 (almost 17 come April) people. I was wondering.
Please reblog for larger sample size. I am genuinely curious to know what normal is.
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bread-that-draws · 2 years ago
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Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you
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loganswdc · 5 months ago
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y'all know me , i'm a logan defender till the day i die , but today i have to speak on both him AND alex . the race was fucking horrendous for them . alex's engine TURNING OFF and being told "it's all okay 😊" is genuinely ridiculous . HOW CAN THEY TELL HIM EVERYTHING IS OKAY WHEN THE GODDAMN ENGINE JUST TURNED OFF MID RACE ??? THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE ????
it's insane how awful williams has been this weekend honestly ; from taking away the upgrades they gave to logan because they "weren't working" , to telling alex that everything looks okay on their end when his engine turned off is ridiculous . and i guarantee you james is gonna go on the williams instagram with his little post-race debrief segment and not say SHIT about logan . it's so infuriating how the car is this shit . genuinely , how is it possible that the UPGRADES DIDN'T WORK ???? SO YOU TAKE THEM AWAY MIDWAY THROUGH THE WEEKEND ??????? it's fucking incredible !!!! actually fucking incredible !!!!!! i'm so pissed post race today , for both logan and alex , they deserve so much better and this weekend so bad . i feel awful for them and the shit they have to go through on the daily .
i'm this cat rn.
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mothinflamesdoodles · 1 year ago
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