#my psychology class giving me psychological damage

[ddejavvu]

if you guys were wondering how sacrificing sleep and free time and hobbies for the past three weeks to study for a tough exam went: i memorized all of the material, aced the study guide, and then failed the test so badly that i don't think i can save my grade no matter how high i score in the remaining ten weeks of the class

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

n addition to not being that much more impressive than many in 1A, I never understood why “Explosion” was thought to be “perfect for heroics” in the first place. First of all, it’s a destructive quirk, and despite the prevalence of fire-quirked heroes, I’d expect the first reaction of most adults to a destructive quirk is to think “future-villain” - especially when wielded by a kid with no respect for property damage. Secondly, a lot of what makes it “good for heroics” is down to Bk’s intensive training - using it fly, etc - not things that would have been immediately obvious in elementary school.

Separately, I agree with what a few others have said that what makes Bk’s quirk seem so strong is his intensive training of it and his endless aggression. (Honestly, half of the kids should have found it psychologically hard to to actually attack someone with their quirk in their first class.) When other kids are actually worried about maiming someone, they’re not going to be using the constant 150% aggression like Bk.

Explosion is a 1 trick pony quirk at the end of the day. Or at least it should be but Hori gives Katsuki insane plot armor. Seriously, his stun grenade, ability to attack from a range, and his smokescreen clearing strike are BS.

This is why I always say there are two school of thoughts on Explosion Quirks: villain or hero.

For me, I think people praising him really focused on the combat aspect of his Quirk because heroism had become about fighting rather then saving people. I think a bright kid, with rich parents because they're a model and fashion designer the guy has money, Bakugou was placated by others even more. His willingness to train and work with his Quirk led to him being praised more.

Its a headcanon kids like Bakugou get specialized training for his Quirk because of how dangerous it can be. I imagine the trainer was shocked by how dedicated Bakugou was and praised him. It got around and everyone knew this kid was strong, wanted to be a hero, and had a combative Quirk.

So that can be why its him being praised so much, by a bunch of people focusing on combat not anything else.

Not sure about ‘kids finding it hard to attack others’ cause kids are nasty. I remember being like six and punching another kid in the face. Plus I had a brother two years older then me, and a cousin a week younger.

The three of us were nightmares and I ain't gonna lie if I was Bakugou I’d be using it on them one time. Of course I'd be horrified by them being hurt and would have been grounded so hard.

Little kids dont really have the ability to know right from wrong and empathy is very low but Bakugou… I've pointed out how malicious the Deku name is (and I will yell it still it occurred before Izuku was diagnosis and it was never a kind nickname) for a freaking toddler and while yeah Hori did it, whole thing is still disturbing.

His attacks are a bit BS and I think Hori was having to come up with a reason he's around because he is just that guy with an explosion Quirk. Mind I personally think Hori didn't like Bakugou but when he got super popular had to keep him around.

Everyone knows my thoughts on how Bakugou's arch should have gone. He's honestly such a boring character now to me, because I had that upswing of anger at him and now it's 'and here is Bakugou with a loud Quirk who somehow despite the logical assumptions is the best above everyone'. He's so boring.

The more I really think about it, the more I wanna really have Bakugou just be there. Have Izuku move past him without realizing it, and have Todoroki take the place as rival. I am not going to lie: the idea of Todoroki staying a rival for longer then canon (and actually presenting himself as a rival early on) is attractive as hell. He's RIGHT THERE. The son of the number two hero raised to surpass All Might constantly fighting against the protoge of All Might! The drama, the action.

I'd honestly only have the reveal of Todoroki's past be when the summer camp happens, and that's when Todoroki turns from rival to friend. Not the weird ass thing Hori did with Bakugou.

But yeah, you're not wrong.

[transmutationisms]

hello, this might be a weird question but i was wondering why alot of communists seem to be against people having multiple sexual partners, it doesn't seem to be a thing exclusive to weird "trad communist" types, lenin himself said that promiscuity is bourgeois and an intoxicant (https://www.marxists.org/archive/zetkin/1925/lenin/zetkin2.htm) and while i could see it being hard to balance with political organizing, a life of being a militant does have to come with alot of personal sacrifices anyways.

there's not going to be a singular answer here because attitudes about sex vary widely among self-identified communists and for that matter so do attitudes about 'communism'. i also am not any kind of expert on lenin or soviet history. however, just looking at his reasoning as stated in this text, the quote you've zeroed in on goes:

Promiscuity in sexual matters is bourgeois. It is a sign of degeneration. The proletariat is a rising class. It does not need an intoxicant to stupefy or stimulate it, neither the intoxicant of sexual laxity or of alcohol. It should and will not forget the vileness, the filth and the barbarity of capitalism. It derives its strongest inspiration to fight from its class position, from the communist ideal. What it needs is clarity, clarity, and more clarity. Therefore, I repeat, there must be no weakening, no waste and no dissipation of energy Self-control and self-discipline are not slavery; not in matters of love either.

emphasis mine.

so, what he's saying (as relayed by clara zetkin; let's assume she's quoting him faithfully) is that sex is a special kind of activity because, like alcohol, it is "intoxicating"—a way of stimulating or stupefying the proletariat, and therefore a threat to both the health of the individual body, and the health and political fortitude of workers as a class. and again:

[Communist youth organisations discussing "sex problems"] is especially dangerous and damaging to the youth movement. It can easily lead to sexual excesses, to overstimulation of sex life and to wasted health and strength of young people. [...] Communism should not bring asceticism, but joy and strength, stemming, among other things, from a consummate love life. Whereas today, in my opinion, the obtaining plethora of sex life yields neither joy nor strength. [...] Healthy sports, such as gymnastics, swimming, hiking, physical exercises of every description and a wide range of intellectual interests is what they need, as well as learning, study and research, and as far as possible collectively. This will be far more useful to young people than endless lectures and discussions on sex problems and the so-called living by one’s nature.

emphasis mine again.

it's important to note here that lenin's objection is not exactly to a certain number of sexual partners, per se (he is consistently scathing of the "disgustingly false sex morality" of bourgeois marriage), but to an 'excessive' amount of sex, which he sees as intoxicating, distracting, and weakening young people, mentally and physically. this argument may sound stupid and bad, and it is. however, it was also a very commonly defended mainstream medical opinion in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries; this is not just something lenin has invented himself. the reference to "degeneration" and the comparison to alcoholism (considered one of the main causes, and symptoms, of degeneration) tell me that lenin is concerned about 'freedom of love' being not a liberatory state, but a corrupting, insalubrious force of social decline, the psychological desire for which results from a reaction to bourgeois morality but fails to free itself from the capitalist conditions giving rise to such ideology.

indeed lenin spelled out his position 5 years earlier, in 1915 (& seems to have remained relatively consistent) in two letters to inessa armand. although he says that people (specifically women) should be free in matters of love from financial calculations, religious prejudice, legal interference, familial prohibitions, &c, he goes on to decry the idea that such "freedom of love" includes freedom from "the serious element in love", freedom from childbirth, or freedom of adultery. these latter three he says are bourgeois, not proletarian, demands.

so, when we put this together, what emerges (exclusively from reading lenin's stated positions; this would be only a first step to a real historical analysis) is an idea of sexual morality that prizes 'restraint' and self-control and views sexual pleasure as dangerous in excess; that opposes bourgeois marriage but also opposes a perceived libertinism that arises as its opposite; that fears energy is being wasted on cerebral discussions of sexuality that distract from the material conditions of oppression & fail to change them; and that is expressed through the medical terminology of degeneracy theory and discourses on physico-moral sensitivity and the susceptibility of the body to exhaustion and corruption by excessive pleasurable stimulation.

again, dissecting lenin on this is not equivalent to providing a general explanation of how sex-negative attitudes arise among communists (& i don't think such a singular explanation exists lol). but there are definitely some throughlines we could trace here, from degeneracy theory (rarely named as such these days, but still a motivating fear in a lot of cultural prognostication) to the general discomfort with 'excessive' sexuality. i don't think communists are more prone to these sorts of ideas than anyone else, but, yknow, also not magically exempt.

[citizensofdetroitpov]

Y'all know how the djd tracks down and kills Decepticon traitors from a list given to them by Megatron? Well I just saw a post from a Decepticon defector saying:

'Tarn, I know I'm on your list now because of my defection to the Autobots. But, for when you come for my aft, because with the way how things are going it looks like the war might start back so you're allowed to hunt again, please do not give me an impromptu literature lesson as I am talked to death by your voice™, as one last favor as one of friends from before the war back when we attended the academy together and for a little while after when we had unofficially joined the police force. I do not need to be having flashbacks to the suffering we endured in the actual literature class. "

Perfect grammar and everything and homeboy Tarn replies with:

"Firestarter!?"

Like mans didn't even know she defected until she brought it up. Then he follows that up with:

"Just because you asked, when we do make our way down to you, even though I hate everything about my pre war self, I will paint myself in my old colours, find a way to change my optic colour back to blue, and even have my old servos on my person to inflict maximum psychological damage. I will even not transform at all during our future encounter. "

Then one of the man's teammates, the one with two empty pits where his eyes should be response to this tread with:

"Old hands!?" and "why would you not transform for a whole encounter? That seems impossible for you to do".

Then op responses to that with this fucking image:

[mycatsaidwhat]

things i’ve heard college students say pt. 27

-if you hit it raw, why are you voting red? 

-if all he does is smoke and give you meat, you’re dating a barbeque grill sis 

-being horny is a feminine trait, you should be thinking about war

-lord, we thank thee for the food before us *grocery store sushi, sponge bob fruit punch, pokemon-themed fruity pebbles* 

-why does the aftertaste of coke zero taste like blood 

-suck it up, you’re an American, you can do anything with god and Nixon on your side

-i’m too drunk to pray for god 

-if I’m ever in a coma, just show me that meme of Georgia as a state backslapping the Republican elephant and I will bolt upright 

-“Academic weapon” and “alcoholic” both begin with A

That they do, Braden, that they do

-My Little Pony? More like My Big Pony

That did psychological damage

-turning right on red is the greatest civil liberty we have left in this country 

-well as of 1989, dueling does not prevent you from running for public office, so props to you 

-he walks like he got pegged

-if I’m ever throwing up on the side of the road and I text you that I’m drunk, you don’t have to come get me. I always find my way home. Like a pigeon. 

-being in a relationship will NOT solve your problems. Happiness comes from substance abuse 

-I wrote down all the reasons we should do shots tonight. For context I have an essay due tomorrow. 

-I want you to take a picture of Quintin Tarantino in person because he simply CANNOT look that weird in real life 

-you’ve got like 50 feet of intestines, right? You could definitely do a couple laps around a tree with them 

-*is making an alignment chart of writers that we’ve covered in class and whether we could take them in a fight and if we’d feel good about it* 

-i wanna kill everything or die, I don’t know, I’m sad 

-he seems like the kind of professor who would make us fill out the course evals in class 

-he has abs, what do you think we were doing? 

-Here in this house we stand for the flag. The flag being Bucky Barnes in the first Captain America movie, greasy and sweaty and freshly tortured

-I’m just trying to enjoy my shitty Busch light and you bring me Charles LeClerc with his legs spread 

-if I got cancer my private snap story would become an inspirational story and that sounds like a lot of pressure 

-college is just progressively caring less about people seeing what you’re doing on your computer in class. I’m texting, I’m on Doordash, I’m on Shein, I’m on Tinder, I do not give a fuck 

-got stacks on stacks on stacks, baby I clear the racks 

Nice, Dr. Suess, get it! 

I was referencing a rap over Gimme More by Britney Spears, but sure  

-if doing drugs and fucking raw in pools in front of everyone is what adult producers think eleventh graders are up to these days then someone needs to tell them 

-I’d fuck to the Gravity Falls theme 

-you missed the professor’s Coin Jar Day and his annual discussion of child marriage 

[amynchan]

Part of the problem of being on this site is I can want to say "hey, teachers and parents have boundaries in place, and sometimes that's why the rules are there," and I'll be petrified of everyone going "Yeah, but once you become a parent/teacher/authority figure, you lose All Rights to enforce those boundaries because you are a Figure In Authority now, and you cease to be a person until your person hood is immediately relevant or beneficial to me personally. Until then, you're the Enemy, and we will absolutely engage in psychological warfare with you to get what we want. :))))"

Which, yes, I did just frame it in that way because that's what I want to say and that's exactly the reaction I'm terrified of getting because I have seen it before. But still, it's a point I wanna make. And I just. Don't??? Wanna get triggered by students who are just gunning for a good grade and don't give two shits about the emotional damage they inflict upon me along the way???? Damage that I, personally, have to wade through, even if I've got other students to see and teach???? It makes me have to learn and employ tactics that I never thought would ever be relevant to me and my style of teaching.

Guys, I'm really trying to be nice and make a difference and be empathetic and understanding and literally the best possible person and teacher I can be. I am doing my goddamn best. But when trying so hard to be the teachers in Freedom Writers or School of Rock ends up costing me my mental and physical health and I stop because all of those things can't support such a lifestyle, the repetition of this cycle of being the students' venting and frustration dumping ground makes me understand not only why teachers become those jaded people you hate but also how. Mind, I'll keep fighting against that outcome by doing my best to keep taking care of my mental health so I can keep pouring to my students, but goddamn, I wish I didn't have to protect myself so fucking viciously.

(Also, there's a reason those movies exist. It's not just for the students. I, as a teacher, would fucking love to be able to do what they do. That's why it's a fantasy. For a lot of us, that lifestyle isn't sustainable, and we don't have the luxury of being able to connect with every single class in the way that movies depict one teacher being able to connect so deeply and profoundly with that one class. ik I've got 7. High school teachers routinely teach 5-7, depending on if they take overtime, tutoring, or sacrifice their prep period just to be able to make enough money. We can provide as much as we can, but that type of telepathic understanding of what all of our students need just by a few meetings? A wishful fantasy for literally everybody involved. All we can do is our best, and I'm starting to believe that we all know just how painfully short we come.)

Like, I wish there was a middle ground. And I found one for a while. I thought it was working so so so so so well. But now I have to up my protection game. Because there's always at least one who's going to send me into a panic attack, and I have to work through it and not quit until all of my classes are taught for the day because I've got at least 26 other students per class who need me to be on the top of my game for them just as I wanna be on the top of my game for the 1. And when those students who have done absolutely nothing to cause this pain and panic notice, when they get concerned, that's a problem on my end. I wanna give everyone an equal and fair shot, and now that means that I have to protect myself even harder to give everyone an actually useful education.

Like. I've got a job to do. I'd love to do it. I want to do it with kindness and empathy and understanding. I just can't keep doing it by carving out pieces of myself, casting myself back into the pits of my darkest moments for a moment of empathy and connection, and being left more damaged and broken than before they came in because they wanted that grade. I can't keep breaking myself for people who think I'm just a cog or a toy or an obstacle. The cycle would be never ending, and I would just end up broken and useless by the end of it. I'm still going to try to find more ways to be empathetic and understanding and helpful, but I really hope I don't become what I hate because some people couldn't figure out what "no" means.

[isfjmel-phleg]

May 2024 Books

The Hotel Under the Sand by Kage Baker (reread)

I always enjoy this one. It has a lot of Oz-like charm.

The Master Key by L. Frank Baum (reread)

I was going to try to say some clever things about the ending of this book, but I'm tired, so the short version is that the protagonist is given a series of eletrically powered gifts from the Demon of Electricity (more like a genie, don't let the name fool you), only to get into various misadventures of the type common to turn-of-the-century boys' stories (with a lot of era-typical attitudes toward non-American or -European peoples and cultures that did not age well) and finally give back the gifts and insist that mankind isn't ready for such power and "it's no fun being a century ahead." I wasn't the biggest fan of the protagonist (rather a jerk), and the story was less interesting to me than the historical context and what it demonstrated of perspectives toward technology at the beginning of the twentieth century. Baum has some interesting concepts in this one, but there's a reason that it hasn't really stood the test of time.

Heart of the Curiosity by H. L. Burke (reread)

I did not care for this one. I do not recommend it.

Archer's Goon by Diana Wynne Jones (reread)

I love this book so much, and I needed to revisit it. I love the characters. I love the twists and turns even though I know they're already coming. *SPOILERS* This time I was struck particularly by Torquil and Hathaway's reconciliation--Torquil has been avoiding his brother after a disagreement, expecting animosity, but then when they finally reunite, Hathaway is just so happy to see his brother and invites him to visit anytime and it's like the grievances never happened, and in a family as dysfunctional as theirs, this is a huge step in the right direction and a very beautiful moment.

Unexpected Magic by Diana Wynne Jones

Collection of short stories and a novella. Inventive in the Jones style, but I didn't get attached enough to any of the stories to have any likelihood of picking this one up again.

Pauline by Margaret Storey (reread)

I've been revisiting some books in light of the CEN discussion in the recent paper. This one doesn't really deal with CEN, but it does portray psychological/emotional abuse quite vividly (the antagonist at times reminded me painfully of the professor who tortured me in the Nightmare Class) and point out how damaging it is. There's a memorable scene in which a trusted adult whom Pauline turns to for help mentions to someone that Pauline has been mistreated by a family. "Is he beating her?" the other person asks. The reply: "Not physically." The acknowledgement that psychological/emotional abuse is just as hurtful and damaging in its own way as the physical kind is quite a statement for a book published in the 1960s.

Last month I reread a book also published in that decade that openly acknowledged the problems with CEN and how it's a cycle that runs in families, and I'm starting to think that that era was a point when some people were starting to more clearly see the negative effects that the likely prevalence of CEN in previous generations especially in particular classes (e.g. upper-class Victorian/Edwardian upbringings) had had. I don't know what to do with this theory, but I will continue to mull it over.

Marianne Dreams by Catherine Storr (reread)

This book isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, but I do love it a lot and I'll probably be yelling about its adaptations at some point.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells (reread)

Listen, I love Murderbot but 90% of the time I have no idea what's going on in these books since sci-fi jargon is mostly beyond me. But I was given my own copy of this book a while back and reread it, more slowly so I could wrap my mind around it better, and definitely got more out of it.

System Collapse by Martha Wells

I had to take this one slowly, but it was worth it. I love the direction that it took, with Murderbot getting involved in producing a film designed to emotionally appeal to people who are in danger of choosing an option that will result in their being enslaved--Murderbot needs the chance to work on processing its trauma, as reluctant as it is to deal with emotion, and working on the film is a big step toward catharsis.

Mother Carey's Chickens by Kate Douglas Wiggin (reread)

This one does have its charm, although I've always found it short on plot and character development (Wiggin has a habit of telling things that should have been shown, beyond the typical style of that era), but this time I had some issues with authorial favoritism toward certain characters, which you've probably already heard the rant about.

[gurugirl]

Guru! Angel love!! I've been slowly catching up with your writing and it's so good. I've been way behind but now the project I'm working on is over so I have time to breathe finally. I also subscribed to your patreon because I adore you and what you write.

The Trapper was so sweet. That was such a good story and I've never read anything like it before. I love your brain. Maybe Fate might be the cutest thing I've read. Harry is so hot. Also??? Ex boyfriend's dad? I'm obsessed. So looking forward to seeing the next part.

How has your week been? How is school? I know you said you've been busy with a class. I think you're killing it! Keep up the good work!

I'm also here because I want to vent. My girlfriend and I have been together for three months and two weeks ago I missed one of her texts to me. She needed me to pick her up but I didn't see it because I was with my brother (skipping boring details) and she was so mad at me. I didn't see her text until later that night and at first she was mad and wanted to talk about why I didn't see it and accusing me of things that were just not true.

And I thought we were working it out but now she won't call or text or anything. I'm devastated. I know I should just move on. Her anger toward me was unjustified and the sudden silent treatment is worse than her being made. I don't know what to do. Logically I know what to do. I've been giving her space but now this just feels mean. I'm so sad.

Sorry to dump my issues on you. I just wanted to get it out. It's been very hard on me not knowing why she's not talking to me anymore suddenly. I mean I get the argument we had but I thought we were moving past it and she believed me when I told her what happened.

Hi babe! First of all, thank you so much! This is so nice to hear 🥺 I appreciate your support so so much. The Trapper is one of my faves too 🥺 And I've just been loving writing ex-boyfriend's dad harry! So happy you like them!!

As for your girlfriend being upset with you over something you didn't do? It's possible she has trust issues and this is her problem to get over. It's not yours, even though you are being directly affected by her insecurity.

However, the silent treatment is cruel and manipulative. It's totally fine for someone to need space to think about something but to keep it up is abusive and very damaging to a relationship. It means she isn't mature enough to understand how to communicate issues properly and healthily with you. If she really wants to keep you in her life she'll speak to you about the issue but it sounds like after her bout of anger she may still not believe you and therefore is now stepping away from the relationship bc silent treatment will very very quickly erode your trust as well. I think a lot of people see no harm in such a response but it's used to inflict pain and maybe she's looking for an apology from you which it doesn't sound like you owe her.

Check out this article by PyschCentral to read in lay terms about the affects of being ignored and given the silent treatment. I had this article on hand because I'm finishing up a psychology of communication class and this is a source I used for a paper I wrote a couple weeks ago. There are also links to studies within if you want to take it further.

Babe, we've all been given the silent treatment but for it to go on for this long is very hurtful. Last time this happened to me I recognized what they were doing, gave them many chance to speak with me, and then cut them off before it did more damage to me (I also apologized at one point even though, upon learning why they were giving me the silent treatment, I hadn't done the thing they thought I did - so their manipulation worked on some level). Don't allow your girlfriend to make you feel this way. You need to take care of yourself first. Your mental health comes first. I'd step away and try to move on if I were you. If she comes to you to talk, hear her out but she owes you a massive apology and it sounds like she has a bunch of maturing to do.

Good luck, babe!

xoxo

[kyuohki]

Gimme some director's cut deets on your modern AU!

Oh, goodness, my modern AU (with all the BDSM and Petplay...)

First the Party, in their majors (I think I commented on some of these, but I figured out Valere and Zale finally):

Garl is majoring in Family/Child Psychology, and probably gonna continue on to get a master’s degree (maybe eventually a PhD? I thought Culinary Arts, but it’s a bit too on the nose; plus, he was so amazing and supportive throughout the game, and he was absolutely great with Malkomud). Garl has a variety of scholarships, grants, and financial aid getting him through college.

Teaks, of course, is getting a degree in History (minoring in Creative Writing (she writes horror/thriller in her spare time, and some of her work is getting popular)). Teaks is also using a variety of scholarships, grants, and financial aid.

Seraï is getting a restoration ecology degree, with an eye to getting a masters (then a PhD). She wants to help with restoration projects in areas that have been damaged by humans. (She hides the fact that she's rich-rich from everyone as long as possible, which eventually results in Zale having a conspiracy theory that she's a Yakuza heiress).

Valere intends on getting her degrees in Physics and Engineering. She's has an idea of becoming an aerospace engineer, wanting to create more efficient and eco friendly airplanes and the like for travel. Valere is in on a tennis scholarship, grants, and financial aid.

Zale is going for a basic degree atm, but will land on something in Fine Arts (honestly with my obsession with pottery rn it'll probably end up being something to do with ceramics). (His family is the same as in Bloodlines (same thing for Valere), and Haris and his shop were big influences on Zale growing up). Zale is in on a soccer scholarship, grants, and financial aid.

Resh'an and Aephorul are married and professors at the university; they own the duplex that the group is renting (unknown to the group, they live just down the street in an even older historical home. The duplex is Resh'an's, and their current home is Aephorul's).

Resh'an actually has a variety of classes in various subjects he cycles through every couple of years, and each of the group probably end up in one of his classes at one point or another (he feels like a Jack of all Trades to me).

Aephorul is a neuroscientist, reluctantly teaching classes between his research (he doesn't exactly hate it, just has no patience for most of the students who try to coast through his classes).

B'st is a contemporary of Resh'an and Aephorul, and with him being a Songster, he teaches a large variety of music classes and theory. He is good friends with the "pirate" crew after they graduated, as all of them took his classes for their degrees.

NSFW exploration under the cut:

'Kay…it’s probably absolutely clear to everybody now that I have a kink for main characters willingly giving up their control to their partners (or losing all control to someone stronger).

So...…Teaks introduced the idea of BDSM to the trio. First to Valere after they’d gotten together, with shibari; then to the boys when she and Valere were not as thorough in cleaning up their supplies from a play session in their living room. (There was much blushing from everyone when Zale found the cuffs and rope, then a lot of teasing.)

Garl and Zale were actually not together when they all moved into the duplex. Between being introduced to the concept of BDSM, and constant pining on both sides since their high school days, it all came to a head when Zale got really drunk and kissed Garl (and as I love the stupid trope, he passed out and didn't remember it in the morning). Garl corners him not long after, they have a long talk, and start dating (bc like hell Garl is gonna let the pining continue if he can be cuddling, kissing, and smexing his Kitten bff).

Zale came up with the Kitten-play all on his own, having stumbled on it online while looking for gifts for Garl. He ended up missing getting it all for Garl's bday, as it took a while to collect everything. He did have a very embarrassing outing with Valere to figure out what kind of lingerie to get; bc Zale chickened out going on his own, and was overwhelmed by all the variety (she didn't know about the whole Kitten bit, tho.)

Zale finds that he likes being a Kitten, and he and Garl explore it a bit deeper after that first time. Garl gets an at-home belled collar to match the lingerie, and a more incognito necklace that Zale can wear all the time (Garl has a matching bracelet). After getting his collars, Zale starts experimenting with being a Kitten a bit deeper (with non-verbal communication and non-sexual play). They actually mostly do non-sexual play in cuddle and "grooming" sessions after long days of school or work.

Garl is a Soft Dom. These two don't really "switch" their roles all that often (Zale *likes* being a Sub, and Garl *likes* being a Dom), but that doesn't mean that Zale is always bottom. Garl does get his sounding fantasy played out, and all his ideas for Zale on rings and cages actually end up being used on him more often than not (Zale finds he also likes being a bratty Kitten and torturing Garl.)

Teaks and Valere figured out that being tied up helps Valere relax. Doesn't even have to be for sexy-times...if Valere is stressing over school or whatever, Teaks will offer to tie her up in either simple or complex shibari.

Seraï ends up walking in on one of Teaks and Valere's innocent sessions, and is flustered over it. Teaks and Valere discuss it, and slowly start romancing Seraï when she doesn't push them away when they broach it to her, and they end up in a happy threesome. They all like switching up who is dominant for any given session.

[darkpoisonouslove]

For the character bingo: Ruby, Maleficent and Regina?

Ruby:

Is there something I don't love about Ruby? The way she was treated by the writers. She disappeared for way too long and then had her endgame rushed. Other than that, she's absolutely perfect. Tragic-backstory, torn-by-guilt, loyal-badass perfection package. Can I marry her already? I will treat her so much better.

Regina:

Regina is kind of my og blorbo. There have been blorbos before her but none that caused the absolute brainrot, eclipse-of-the-mind, psychological-damage insanity that Regina caused. She was too much like me or vice versa back at the time and I was compelled. I still very much am but not to that extent as I've somewhat moved on from OUAT now. Still, she's fascinating as a character. The metas are right there, ready for the writing! There is *a lot* to explore with her, her relationships with the other characters are so rich and full of food-for-thought baggage and, god, she deserved better writing in those last few seasons. #ShadowQueen4ever

Maleficent:

Mal is a very different breed from any other character on the show. I don't think we've seen anyone so well-rounded, yet so hard to grasp in their entirety. She's just so much character. She is emotional but cold and distant, she's wise but cruel, she's mysterious but very honest. How does she do it? I am in awe. And her aura? Giving off both class and dignity and the ancient terror and mysticism of a dragon? I cannot wrap my mind around her. I just wish they would have written her in as the main character and let Kristin Bauer work her magic for the whole of seven seasons. Damn!

[the-elderly-are-evolving]

little BNHA UA hc/ worldbuilding idea that's been floating around in my head,,,,,

i've been thinking about UA and their administration/ scheduling team and the strategy they must put behind each student's schedule.

it sounds boring, but hear me out:

You have three types of classes to consider.

the priority classes that they need each student to take These must differ WILDLY per student because, ESPECIALLY for hero students, they'd be based on a student's quirk needs. For example, for some students, it's "meh whatever" if they take E&M Physics (electromagnetics) or if they don't take E&M Physics, but for kaminari, it could literally be the difference between life and death for him/ any civilians or colleagues he's working with in the future, right? Like the guy kinda sorta really needs to understand current/ voltage/ resistance etc. and he needs to understand it to a high, near professional standard because of the nature of his quirk. Likewise, just off the top of my head, i'd say kids like yaoyorozu, bakugou, satou, and todoroki need a strong grasp of general chemistry, as well as organic chemistry & probably advanced biology for yaoyorozu, bakugou, and satou.... probably also mineta if he doesn't get expelled. and those are just some of the kids who need those classes to avoid seriously injuring someone.

THEN u have to consider classes whose lessons/ knowledge might seriously give a leg up to some students/ help them with facets of their quirks they'd never considered before. like for example, if aoyama could take forces & mechanics (physics) & some chemistry. These are usually classes where they talk about light & photons & electron energy levels & shit. if aoyama takes the classes and understands photons & light and particles vs waves and all that, i bet his quirk could also become the stronger for this new information. Because now he doesn't just have this intuitive bodily sense of "ok focus really hard and clench my buttcheeks (or whatever he does idk) to make my naval laser beam do more damage" but he also has the physics knowledge of "ok today i need to focus on increasing the period of the wavelengths as they're produced from my body because that will increase energy levels, which means a hotter/ faster/ whatever-er laser." do you see what i mean?

and THEN there are even students who might be able to use the knowledge from different classes to make up for or counteract their quirk's drawbacks or to augment support items that are counteracting their quirk's drawbacks. For example, i think Shinsou would really benefit from some psychology & language & writing classes (psychology classes are obvious; language classes give him more options to try to connect with people even if they don't speak japanese; writing classes usually focus a lot on critical thinking, which will be necessary since, once a villain is wise to his quirk & figures out how to shut up, Shinsou's going to have to rely mostly on out-witting them, especially if they have a more physical quirk) as #2 level classes to enhance his quirk. However, for some #3 level classes, i'd also recommend F&M (forces & mechanics; physics course) and some sort of molecular chemistry course, which will help counteract his quirk's lack of physical prowess by augmenting his control with and knowledge of his capture weapon & how its molecular makeup & physical presence affects how it behaves in the world/ interacts with the world around him. (F&M will also give him some insight on waves, which is sound, which is his quirk.)

anyways, these were just some ideas banging around in my head, take em or leave em or let me know what u think about em.

i know we rag on UA for canonically not having good mental health support for its many traumatized heroics students, but if Hound Dog is the school's only counselor (he's really the only one ever mentioned in the anime, idk if that's true in the manga or not, but the anime is always just like :DD and here's our school counselor he's a dog isn't that relaxing, therapy dog :DDD) and he's responsible for ALL of this consideration (not to mention corralling all the support, gen ed, and business course students into the courses they want & need AND trying to find time to fit in the hero course specific courses, like Getting the Shit Beat Out of You Every Thursday taught by 'Professor' All Might), then I can see why he doesn't have time to speak to students about their mental health. Poor guy's gotta be so fucking overwhelmed it's a miracle he hasn't snapped and tried to like idk fucking eat a student.

[newty]

thinking abt (the great) war and disability and dion again.

was reading US surgeon-general/american red cross magazine called "carry on," which was published about and for the war disabled and esp ppl with new amputations. its view is p typical: a man doesnt need to be pitied or given money or he'll become wretched and depressed and a social parasite, so we're going to assure u that u can do all kinds of work, make ur own money, and do everything a normal man can do w some work arounds.

meanwhile hostels like st dunstan's for newly blind ppl chartered rehab programs thru donations by making stock appeals abt sacrifice, bravery, and the terror + misery of losing smth you thought was indelible to ur life once. and these two examples typify a lot of the attitudes that sassoon sums up in 'does it matter?' which, btw, im still pissed that the sass biopic didnt use at the end so that it could quote wilfred owen's 'disabled' instead??? in the end, both of their poetry still has a root in the fear of disability occuring to themselves that i think is more evident than in some fiction writers

jeno heltai's aviator w one arm had everything wrong w his head via hallucinations, alcoholism, distorted sense of time and value, that it was fairly easy to forget that karmel depicted a figure that was frightening to others bc of his amputation + not solely his mental condition. ernst weiss almost does the same thing in his short story abt the man who loses himself in rage and blame after he gets invalidated home bc his genitals got lobbed off in the war. the chara describes how he feels and looks feminized for a bit, and then it kind of gets lost in him ranting abt cows and rocks and killing his wife.

and like, if we take a step back from the stories, theyve created a character made more frightening by their physical disabilities, visible and not, which kind of makes them more and less of people at the same time. they escape the matyr figure and become psychological studies. i want to read more.

i think of how the US economy expected men to return capable of the same work they were doing before (or more), and how, like in larry barretto's writing, they didnt account for how many would be mentally and physically unable to do it. modeled after germany, disabled men were then shuffled through work programs modeled to give them independence through undervalued labor like on farms, which must have exacerbated all kinds of economic class things re: those who had to take care of themselves vs those who had family who could do it for them

anyway. i think back to this again bc i find that when i think of dion, i project this interest on him. ofc i have my right arm amputee dion, but i find myself thinking how any challenge to his relationship w his body, what parts he he has autonomy over, and so on make my brain brrrr. he has nothing of the societal vulnerability of the normal soldier, tho, but his temperament and the jist of the curse, bahamut, and his wider duty attract me to the idea

what if the boom after origin had damaged his hearing, or if he starts to betray symptoms of a concussion? how does he write when the curse stiffness his wrist, does the flying and jumping do anything to his lungs or balance, and do any of his medicines nauseate him? if his foot was twisted or his hip was weak, would he allow himself to walk less or until he couldnt? what narrative would he buy into abt his worth, purpose, and responsibility? i wanna see all kinds of dions

[opinated-user]

Sankaku anon here: I would argue it DOES matter how the Nazi in the mindbreak porn piece was treated because he's a white, blond, blue-eyed man being assaulted by a Japanese Yakuza member. That means the artist portrayed the member of a hate group that committed genocide as a victim, while portraying a POC as an abuser and a criminal. Given LO's shitty takes on race, favoriting this specific piece is really creepy because of that racial dynamic of poor victim Nazi and rich abusive criminal POC.

Lily has talked about raceplay being racist and that is the very rare take of hers I agree with but what is this if not raceplay and thus racism? And before anyone @'s me, no, I do not view this as not racist just because it's porn. Porn doesn't get a pass on this; if it reflects real world races, it is therefore reflecting an idea about race. The framing of race within it is still subject to analysis the way any other media form is. And while there are comments on that pic that take it as 'good, if this had to happen I'm glad it's a Nazi getting raped', I checked and Lily's accounts didn't comment on the piece, so we cannot in good faith assume a woman who stans Nazis IRL and has disparaged Asian people working on SU favorited it for that reason.

If you analyze "poor Nazi assaulted by Japanese gangster is in the faves of someone who supports IRL Nazis" for more than half a second it becomes impossible to draw any good conclusions from it.

(Side note but I am taking a break of sorts. This is the first time I've looked at this blog in a while and while I do have some stuff to submit about another suspected account of Lily's I have given myself a break from doing so until winter break is over. I'm spending this break sewing, playing Cozy Grove (btw, gamers who want good rep: canonically nonbinary genderfluid lead, good disabled rep in-game, casual and non-dramatic queer rep, has clothing items for multiple religions including a hijab that you can buy and wear) and reviewing my French in preparation for classes resuming. The Kaneda thing did do some psychological damage to me but I've spoken to my rabbi and my therapist and I'm doing okay. I'm really sorry if I worried you. I'm alright.)

given how she has come out of the closet as the real nazi sympathizer, i agree we shouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt anymore. all her "punch nazis" posts were entirely performative and dishonest because when it's the moment of the truth, LO does not care at all.

[danielle-dna]

PCOS - Please Come Over Simon - 14

There are many things that we as humans can control. Our clothes, hair colour, makeup, the area we populate and what idiot we vote for on election day.

Unfortunately there are a lot more things that are completely out of our control, like the weather, the family we are born in and most importantly, our genetic makeup. Mine was absolute shit. Well, it was not the worst, but when you add some incompetent doctors to the mix, the cake, aka my health, eventually becomes shit.

I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, after many years of struggling to find a doctor that would finally have me tested. When I was finally told my diagnosis I wasn't scared. I was relieved. Relieved that the cramps, the bleeding, the uncontrollable weight gain were not all in my head and were not my doing. And I was finally getting treated for it.

But as it comes with every medical condition, there are side effects. My most noticeable one was weight gain. Although I have lost quite a bit of weight, I still struggled with my self image, especially when Simon saw me naked. I hated my stretch marks, the stupid extra body hair that constantly needed removing and of course the small pudge that was obvious when I was naked.

While I am in full support of body acceptance and loving ourselves, I couldn't help but feel disgusted everytime I looked in the mirror. Hence, I took a full advantage of the chemicals and beauty treatments in the cheapest drug stores I could find. Self tan, hair removal cream, razors, peroxide, face masks, hair treatments... you name it.

It was especially embarrassing when Simon found some of my stained towels. "Love, why are so many of your white towels brown?"

"Because I need extra bronzer to look extra pretty, now pick one that isn't stained or stay wet!"

That seemed to shut him up. For ten minutes at least.

After he was done drying himself off, he walked in my bedroom and gently threw himself on me. He was comforting, better than any weighted blanket. I loved that I could feel every single muscle, every inch of his scarred skin. "Just so you know, lovie, you are already pretty. Don't need any extra shit."

I grumbled in response. " That's easy for you to say. You are gorgeous." With an unusual gentleness he kissed my chest and worked his way down to my navel. His strong, big hands slid underneath me and roughly squeezed my butt. "Why do you have such low opinion on your appearance? Haven't I showed you exactly how I feel about you? Just how much I can't get enough of you?"

By now he was on top of me again, his face inches away from mine. I could feel his dick getting hard, but something in me wasn't feeling it.

"Look, Simon, I know it may sound stupid, but I was voted the ugliest girl in class for almost the entirety of my education, so forgive me for not having the best self-esteem." His eyes softened, he laid down next to me and pulled me closer, so that way I was on top of him.

"Kids can be cruel, but that was ages ago. Yes, I know it stays with you and damages you psychologically, but by saying you aren't pretty, you are giving them a victory. You are as spiteful as they come. Do you really want to let them win?"

He was right. FUCK HE WAS RIGHT.

This time I kissed him with such force that managed to take off guard even a strong man like him. "Thank you, lieutenant." By now, I still haven't seen his face, but I was certain it was beautiful. No man has a heart like that and an ugly face.

[liamwitha-t]

[ benjamin wadsworth , cismale , he/him ] - it looks like Liam Teixeira is late to class once again . how do they expect to get their degree in psychology by skipping class ? it’s a wonder that the twenty year old made it to their sophomore year . then again , i heard that they were innovative which may give them a pass with professors , but they are also self destructive so maybe not . i heard they were blasting Younger by Nightly before class . all i know is that they remind me of cigarette holes in a sweater, grass before class, un-trustworthy flasks.

Hi hello! My name is T and in this essay I will be introducing you to my home boi Liam. There will be some triggering topics below so please proceed with caution!

basics:

full name:  Liam Taylor Teixeira

nicknames:  Undecided

gender:  Cismale

pronouns:  He/Him

sexuality:  Pansexual

age:  20

date of birth:  April 5th

Birthplace: Salinas California

zodiac sign:  Aries

likes:  Sprite, cough syrup, mixing the two, yoyo’s, video games, collecting key chains

dislikes: When he steps in a puddle and his socks get wet, cold fries, reality TV

bio: (tw: drug use, domestic violence, death)

What all can be said about Liam Teixeira? He wasn’t the popular kid in high school by any means. At least not for his personality he wasn’t. The only time anyone really paid him much attention was when he set the head cheerleaders uniform on fire on a dare. She deserved it anyways. Especially after slapping him for trying to get her best friend to steal a car with him. His drug dealing tendencies were another story. He didn’t start out that way. On the contrary. Liam’s home life was decent. He was born to two very wealthy parents who... acknowledged he existed, but loved traveling the world for work even more. Leaving him most of the time with his grandparents. Which on its own should not have been a reason for Liam to spiral down the path that he had.

Unfortunately like most men in his family, Liam was cursed with the same luck of falling for people who had a knack for damaging them. He met Natalia Walsh on his first day of school freshman year and fell instantly in love with her. Didn’t have to do much chasing. She fell for him just as quickly. As per usual things started out innocent. Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Girl also likes drugs. Liam learned quickly that Nat had been raised by an entire family of addicts and despite her assurance watched as the girl he loved just as quickly fell victim to the powers of addiction. Fortunately for Nat, Liam was far from the good boy his parents and grandparents had expected him to be. Had, had his own introduction to pot and cocaine when he’d been out to visit his cousins in Portland. Envied his cousins life for his ability to get to live such an adventurous life style so freely without having to hide it from anyone.

As time went on he and Nat grew and developed new loves for trying different things together. Everything was all good until coming home from a stint in rehab and having been informed by his grandparents that they’d gotten a call from her parents. They had come home and found her dead on arrival thanks to an unknown cocktail she’d taken without telling him. The family claimed to have no idea where she’d gotten it when they reached out to his grandparents to warn them. This earned Liam a one way ticket back to rehab.

Lot of good that did him right? Wrong! Because how are you ever supposed to recover from knowing you could have done something but didn’t? By drowning yourself further. When he’d returned home from rehab he was immediately transferred to a boarding school for the rich and the preppy. People he didn’t fit in with and certainly didn’t get along with. But he’d found solace in rising to the top as the number one drug dealer that school had ever seen. They didn’t have to like him. Not when they needed him. And he used this to propel him through his remaining high school years. Sure things weren’t perfect. They were never going to be for a kid who got his kicks getting high and making a menace of his peers. Unfortunately when it came time for college applications, after all the money his grandparents had spent having to send him to boarding school, it meant he had no choice but to apply for a scholarship if he wanted any hope of getting into the school they had also hand picked for him. Once again his own destiny not feeling like his own as he found himself accepted and once again being shipped off to yet another prestigious school for him not to fit into.

Wanted Connections/Plots:

Drag Me Through Hell (0/1): The toxic best friend. This is someone who Liam feeds off of. The one who not only supports his drug use but may instigate it as needed. These two would be chaos incarnate. Likely sexual tension, because what’s wrong with a little chaotic hook up when you’re high?

Perfectly Wrong (0/1): The opposite of Liam. The pure as snow innocent who Liam hates to disappoint but will likely do so over and over again. This is the person who’s room he might spend time in when nursing those hangovers both drug related and emotional.

Ex to See (0/1): Simple enough, they only hook up when their ex is around to make them jealous.

Rescue Me (0/1): When two undecided souls met with their advisor, they were paired up in almost every single class to help each other find a path. Little did their advisor know, they were pairing too individuals that only had plans ditching class all together to fuck around and get high.

Hey Brother (0/5): A group of friends who act like family. They take care of each other, have each others backs. Probably also dick around and order chicken wanton tacos from Applebees a little too often.

Tell me I’m a Wreck (0/1): This individual likely went to the same high school that Liam went to and doesn’t feel like he should have received his scholarship. Doesn’t agree that he deserved it and think it’s being wasted on him.

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: Vapors 21

When the waitress came around, Jiraiya put in his order without a hint of flirtation. When his companion said nothing and the girl skittered a little uncomfortably, fluffy pen held to her heart-shaped pad of pink paper, Jiraiya rolled his eyes and looked up at the man across the table for the first time. "Are you going to order anything?"

Black eyes slid over to the girl, but his expression didn't change as if he really saw her or the way she was blushing. "No."

"Suit yourself," Jiraiya sighed, waving the girl off and slouching. Somehow he still managed to emit an aura of formidability. It wasn't necessary. No one was close enough to overhear and Itachi would sense any usage of chakra.

"The Lady Tsunade has returned to Konoha," he uttered tonelessly, staring off into space. It was an inauspicious start to an information exchange. Then again, Uchiha had never been known for polished conversational abilities. Odds as to whether he was socially impaired or actually just reticent were about fifty-fifty.

Regardless of the motivation, Jiraiya knew the teenager well enough to realize he was both asking for confirmation and dancing around something else. "Yes," he said shortly, glaring a little bit at the reminder. "To fix your mess, and to become Hokage. I'm surprised you haven't heard about that part yet at least."

Itachi narrowed his eyes, unused to that kind of vehemence from the man. "You are angry," he stated. It was a habit of his that drove others to near-fits of irritation, but was often effective at gathering information without giving the other conversationalist the psychological upper hand of being asked a question.

Jiraiya felt a muscle twitch in his jaw, despite being familiar with mental and verbal games of all sorts. 'I hate conversations with this brat,' he grumped internally. 'He doesn't give me many cues to work off. If we are here to exchange information we should just be straight forward.'

Despite his near blindness, he knew that the younger man somehow sensed his irritation. The sage heaved an irritated sigh, casting a longing glance in the direction of the kitchen. "You put my goddaughter in the hospital," he said shortly in a way that implied that part of the conversation was over. He knew that the boy had to maintain his cover and that included attacking leaf nin, but there were dozens of ways he could have stopped the girl from interfering without causing that kind of damage. Then his gaze sharpened when he noted something unusual. Confused, Jiraiya registered that some brief emotion had crossed the boy's face, which was unusual to say the least. He had no idea what it was, but he had almost certainly surprised the teen. "But you didn't know that," he said slowly, trying to pry out what it was that had elicited a visible reaction. 'That didn't do it.' He consciously did not frown, but he was dissatisfied with the lack of results.

The teen had somehow gone even stiller, obviously recognizing that he had given away some sort of clue. 'He had to have known that she would have been hospitalized after a genjutsu like that,' Jiraiya reasoned. 'Is he surprised at the implication that she survived? No. If he'd wanted her dead she would be. It is the fact that I know her that surprised him? But why would he even care about a Leaf Chuunin? It would have been more like him to ignore her and continue to his objective. He's never liked extra casualties.' Something uneasy roiled in his gut. He trusted the boy on some levels, but the implication that there was some reason for S-class nin to care about his goddaughter was unsettling. Monsters like that shouldn't even know she existed yet. With parents like that it would be surprising if she didn't reach that level one day, but that day was not today.

"Enough of this," the nukenin demurred, pulling out a short scroll. Jiraiya took it numbly, knowing that the report on Akatsuki was doubtlessly important even if it didn't seem that way right now. 'I must be imagining things,' he tried to convince himself. Jiraiya was normally an excellent liar, but it didn't seem to be working as the teen across the table nodded his head farewell and strode off, still henged into less conspicuous clothing and facial features.

A disturbing thought occurred. 'Was it really an accident that Aiko was the first person Itachi and Hoshigaki ran into in Konoha?' The large man shifted in his seat, barely noticing the sounds of laughter from a distant table. He had initially assumed so. Then again, a ninja didn't live to be his age without examining strange occurrences closely.

And an S-class nin who had been out of the village for seven years just happening to display even the slightest hint of interest in his former student's child positively stank of something suspicious. 'Aiko, what have you been up to?'

When it came, the food tasted like ashes. That might have been his perception or the fact that he was at a total dive. So he dropped a gold coin on the table and headed back to the hotel where he had left his charge sleeping a few hours sooner than planned. The boy would no doubt scream about perverts if he knew that the sannin had poked his head in the room where the child slept, but the reassurance made him feel marginally better. Jiraiya cradled his head in his hands, white hair a riotous mess around his face, and sighed. 'I knew that the boy was in serious trouble,' he thought wearily. 'But I never considered that his sister might be in direct danger. Sure, she could be used against him, but that's a mess to consider when they finally get serious about hunting Naruto and realize that he's too powerful to take easily. Maybe I should find out why exactly an S-class criminal (even if he isn't one, strictly speaking) has interest in a 13 year old. Perhaps I could accept it as keeping an eye on a potential future problem if someone had figured out that she was Minato's child, but if Itachi had known that he would have already suspected I had a connection to the child.'

Itachi was equally discomfited by the brief exchange, reflecting on it even when he met back up with his partner to travel to their next mission. He had considered bringing up his strange encounter to Jiraiya to prod for information. It had never occurred to him that the toad sage would bring up the girl. The revelation that she was his goddaughter was a little shocking, and he had instantly known that the sage would not give him any useful information on the girl. Prying further would have only put the man on guard and revealed that he had a strong reason to be curious about someone he had encountered completely on accident. If he truly could find no other way to investigate whatever was going on, he would try again later.

'Unsettling.' Hoshigaki Kisame edged slightly further from his partner, sensing the boy was irritated even without any visible cues. After working together for years, he was well attuned to his partner's tells.

Itachi couldn't bring himself to care about what the nukenin thought, face pressed into an incredibly mild frown. 'I do not like hints that I have missed a possible factor.'

It wasn't the only news that had taken him by surprise, a feeling he definitely did not like. At least discovering that his otouto had been taken under the wing of the Hokage herself had been reassuring, though unexpected considering the long-standing enmity between their clans.

If he had been anyone else, Itachi might have snorted with morbid amusement when he caught himself thinking that. 'With one Senju and one Uchiha in Konoha, would it not be more unlikely if the feud continued?'

Regardless of old grudges, the Senju woman would likely be able to guide Sasuke and help him gain the strength to stay safe from monsters like Madara. He might need more motivation if he seemed to be growing complacent. The 19 year old did his best to turn away from that unpleasant thought, but once it had occurred he couldn't stop wondering if his brother's drive to get stronger had faded in the years since he had seen Sasuke. If it had…

Glossy, perfect nails caught the sunlight from the windows and refracted sparkles from blue glitter polish onto the wall when Aiko pulled open the door to wait on the deck for her two partners. She had been guarding their belongings while the older two did reconnaissance.

Cool wind tugged at her hair, carrying with it the scent of dying flowers. She frowned slightly and tried to gather up the tangles with her fingers, irritated with how long her hair had gotten again when she wasn't paying attention. "Time for a haircut," she sighed, a little surprised that she could actually see strands of blonde hair in her peripheral. The summer sun had bleached out almost all of the red that had seemed so prominent, leaving her much closer to looking like Naruto's relative than Karin's. Just a short year ago, she had been dead in between color-wise.

She blew air out, letting her lips purse with irritation and leaned back into the cool stone wall. For more than one reason (like the lack of sound and the wall immediately behind her), she was startled to feel warm breath on her ear. Aiko shrieked and wheeled around, backing up to see Anko's grinning face hanging out of the open window and her Kakashi slouching by the door, looking hangdog as usual.

She scowled and stuck her tongue out at Anko, curling into her sensei's side and wrapping her arms around him. "She's mean to me," she pouted.

"Don't be like that," Anko drawled, hopping out the open window and joining the other two on the porch. "Well, do you want to tell her the good news or should I?"

She felt her teacher take a deep breath and set his hands on her shoulders, gently prying the teenager off his front. Aiko blinked up at him, awkwardly splitting her attention between his one uncovered eye and the leaf sigil covering the other one. "Well, we're pretty much done with this cover," he announced, pushing his hands into his pockets and slouching slightly.

Surprised, Aiko furrowed her brows. "I thought the guy we caught said the information broker was going to be coming by soon," she objected mildly.

"He is," Kakashi agreed easily. "In fact, he is in town now, in this very hotel."

"Makes sense," she breathed, already cataloguing the few weapons on her person and checking that her chakra reserves were full.

Her teacher held up a hand lazily. "Maa, not so fast," he drawled. "Our client owns this hotel, remember? It would be foolish to engage him here and risk property damage. We will be following our guy out of town. That means we're done resting. We can't afford to sleep until the target makes a move. I don't anticipate that he will be leaving until dark, however. Get packed."

"Yes, sir," she reflexively breathed, pushing past Anko and into her adjoining room, making quick work of the little she had to gather. Most of it had already been folded into a storage seal (a ridiculously frivolous use of a ninja skill, but she could at least justify it as practice). With deft movements, she slipped into more practical footwear, trying not to think too hard about how the knee-high boots must look with the short orange and pink yukata she had been wearing and ripping a line down the side of the material to give easier access to the thigh holster she snapped into place, finishing off by buckling her black hip pouch over the dress and sliding it to rest on the back of her right hip.

By the time she had joined the other two, their rooms looked as though they could have been vacant for weeks. She slipped through and stood at Anko's side. "Ready?" Anko asked, looking down. When she nodded in reply, the older girl gave a sharp grin and nodded. "Right then." She raised her right hand up in a two-fingered seal. "Release!" With a tiny puff, the purple-haired woman disappeared altogether.

Mildly surprised, Aiko raised an eyebrow at her sensei but knew better than to ask for an explanation. The bunshin had probably been meant to signal Anko that backup was on the way. Now that she thought about it, it would have been stupid for them to leave the target alone after they finally found him. Kakashi sighed, flipping his hip pouch shut and straightening. Then he took off, just barely slow enough for her to follow. The speed hardly surprised her anymore, not after four years of being his student. Every time it seemed that she had gotten close to matching his insane speed, he somehow managed to surprise her and make it look easy.

She wasn't surprised to discover that her sensei had been right about when the broker would choose to make a move while Anko tailed him and the other two hung back, ready to provide support but minimizing chances that the broker would sense them. They waited at the far range of Anko's sensing range- close enough that a panicked signal would have them at her side within seconds, but far enough away to speak quietly. Aiko sighed lightly, leaning into her teacher's side. The familiarity was soothing. He glanced down and then his gaze was directed upwards again, at the rooftops and tree line.

"I'm glad Tsunade-sama gave us this mission, sensei. I didn't like it when you went away after the… after Sakura," she breathed quietly. He moved a little uncomfortably. "I… I think that was hard on the boys too." He awkwardly patted her on the head, giving one of the stupidly fake eye smiles. "Don't do that," she snapped, instantly irritated. "You're not really happy, so don't pretend. It's fine to be mad and sad."

"Aa, Aiko-chan," he mumbled, gently knocking the side of her head with his hand and gazing upwards wistfully. "If you insist. I'm not particularly good with those conversations."

The girl huffed, stepping backwards playfully to evade his hand mussing her loose hair. "Whatever you say, old man."

She was a little surprised when instead of a reply, her teacher's eye flashed toward her an instant before a presence materialized right behind her and pulled a forearm across her neck, dragging her backwards into a female chest. "Don't move," a voice hissed directly in her ear. Ignoring that altogether, Aiko went limp and slipped downward just enough for Kakashi to flash-step directly in front of her with a thunderous expression and his large hand wrapped entirely around the woman's neck with what must have been painful force.

He leaned in painfully close, his chin nearly brushing the top of Aiko's head. "I would advise that you let go. Now." The dark eye narrowed dangerously seemed to pierce a hole directly into the surprised woman behind her, who Aiko could see out her peripheral mostly as a porcelain pale chin and a riotous mass of cotton candy blue curls, decorated with black ribbons and glittering clear beads.

A low chuckle filled the air. "Listen to papa bear, Naomi," another woman crooned. Aiko was immediately released and swiveled out of the way.

"Apologies, Mayumi." The strange kunoichi stepped backwards as soon as Kakashi let go, rubbing at her neck idly and focusing all her attention on the tanned, dark-haired woman who had materialized. She was accompanied by a bear of a man with silky brown hair that fell to his shoulders. All three of them were wearing Rock forehead sigils. The two standing together were wearing what appeared to be some variation of a Jounin uniform in dark grays with green detailing. The blue-haired woman was younger—perhaps a teen, and clad in plain black pants and long-sleeved shirt covered in a virtual armory of arm and leg holsters and criss-crossing belts.

The woman who had grabbed Aiko gave a sigh—Naomi?— and leaned back, blinking indolently at the two Konoha nin in between the Rock shinobi.

"Please, forgive my kohai," the second woman purred and slipped one scarred hand into a pouch at her hips. "She got a little jumpy. I think that we have ended up on the trail of the same person, a high level missing nin from our village. We have documentation to prove it." She held it out to Kakashi with a faintly challenging expression.

Briskly, Kakashi examined the sheaf of folded papers she held out, pulsing chakra through it to activate the little watermark that proved the carriers were conducting official business. "Your papers are legitimate, but that doesn't allow you to be in Fire Country unsupervised," he pointed out mildly. The tall man sneered silently, but didn't say anything when the woman at his side stepped forward with a cold and false conciliatory smile.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, but he meant to shake us by crossing the border. It was hard for my team and I to imagine returning home when he would likely duck back over the border within a day. Perhaps your team could accompany us? You can take command, of course."

Aiko scowled a little, but said nothing as her teacher agreed, tossing her a look that she knew was meant as a warning to be careful. They couldn't leave the group alone, and if they were really right about the target being an A class missing ninja, there was no point in denying the group and inevitably end up fighting them to get to the target. As long as he was killed or apprehended, their job was done anyway. Strange that such a high class ninja would find himself buying and selling information, but that was a dangerous job after all.

That was when all five shinobi straightened, looking up an instant before Anko materialized out of a cloud of dark particles. She raised an eyebrow at the group. "Kakashi?"

"Report," Kakashi said briskly, not looking at the three foreign nin.

She shrugged. "Target is moving west, fast."

He gave a heavy sigh, glancing between the other five shinobi. "Aiko, take the rear. I want a four hundred foot following distance. Anko, take point with Mayumi-san here. I will take the center line with Naomi-san and grumpy-san here."

Naomi snorted. "You mean Jun?"

He shrugged artlessly. Jun glared at the other man, taking the furthest right position and ignoring the laughs from the front of the formation. Then they took off, following Anko's directions. Aiko tried not to pout, a bit irritated about being babied. She knew damn well why she had the rear—it was likely to be the safest position and Kakashi didn't trust the Rock team at all. That didn't mean she was particularly happy about the implication that he didn't trust her in a fight around an elite opponent.

It became clear that their target knew he was being pursued when they picked up the pace, rushing brutally. Aiko couldn't help but grin at the chase, wishing it was just her and her sensei and the dog pack. She had missed those sorts of missions. Training was all well and good, but escort missions and dealing with administrative work lacked the thrill of the hunt.

Hopefully, now that the genin had found new sensei, things could go back to the way they had been before.

The group burst into a clearing and immediately knew that their target had chosen to make his stand there. It was the first time Aiko had seen him. He wasn't particularly impressive looking, but then again neither was her sensei when he didn't want to be. The man was slim, clad in gray pants and a high collared red top, with a short black ponytail and bangs that hid his eyes from view.

He was also a sword specialist from what she saw as he pulled a thin, flat blade out from a hidden sheathe on his back under his top, making a swipe at Anko that the first rock kunoichi parried with her bare hands and a feral grin that made Mayumi's innocuous features somehow sinister. The man huffed. "I should be flattered, getting two full teams to hunt me down!" Anko had slipped around Mayumi, spitting a spray of poisoned senbon that ricocheted off his hardened skin with a tinkle like glass (goddamn rock-nin, Aiko thought absently, I hate that rock skin jutsu), though tiny punctures poked through his collar. As Mayumi swiped her right foot into the man's instep to destabilize him, Jun roared forward like a battering ram—and nearly ran full tilt into a tree when the target dropped down through the earth like a gopher.

Naomi whipped through hands seals—Aiko couldn't see them, but the muscles in her back were moving slightly, as were her elbows—and gave a violent stomp that opened up a crevice, out of which the target came flying, sword readied to open up her gut.

It might have been a killing blow, if Kakashi hadn't almost lazily intercepted the man, knocking the blade sideways with one hand and slipping the other under to hit the man with a spray of electricity. It was nothing on his Chidori, of course, but he convulsively bent over and missed his chance to prevent Naomi from ripping the sword out of his grasp and flinging it to the side.

That was about when Aiko was distracted by the fact that there were two unknown chakra signatures coming in hot from behind them. Her mouth was open and the words "friends of yours, Naomi-san" were on her lips when she felt the kunai whizzing towards her head and reflexively used the replacement jutsu with the closest bit of flotsam. That turned out to have been a broken branch behind her that positioned her in between the two new opponents. She barely swiveled in time to duck under the swinging blow from someone of indeterminate gender and age behind a mask and in one of those godawful pajama-like ninja outfits that old people like the Third Hokage preferred. In the seconds that followed, her rote taijutsu and the fact that these two new opponents were probably only B-class at best saved her life while the other rushed to accommodate the increase in opponents and break off into matches.

'Might not be a bad time to try those chakra chains,' she reasoned when she was joined by Mayumi, which left Kakashi and Naomi with their original target and Anko and Jun swinging back to intercept the third. She had never actually tried it in combat before, and this was about as low-pressure an environment as she was likely to get to experiment in—on the '2' side of a '2 to 1' fight. Karin had hypothesized that the adrenaline rush of a real fight might make it easier to use the ability for the first time and she could work backwards from there to replicate the adrenaline-fueled feat. The worst that would happen was she failed completely and let Mayumi cover her for a second.

That decided, Aiko grimaced with effort and leapt back, heels skidding in the dirt and furrowed her brow in concentration. The next second seemed to be in slow motion—the opponent seemed to glance between the two kunoichi, decide Mayumi was the immediate threat and swivel towards her at the same time that Aiko breathed deeply and visualized the excess energy escaping her back as a mass of chains.

Consciously, she didn't expect it to work. So she was just about as surprised as everyone else by the unearthly glow of the icy blue chakra that rocketed out of her body—and it was exhilarating! She felt so powerful, and it suddenly made so much fucking sense that Kushina could have done this on her death bed—and honed in on her opponent with pinpoint precision even as the shinobi attempted a dodge, wrapping around a struggling body in the blink of an eye with clanks and monster truck force and ripped the poor fucker to lumpy pieces that exploded outside of the chains.

Everything stopped for a full second, which was an ungodly long time in a shinobi battle. Aiko was relatively sure someone was gaping at her but she didn't turn to see, too fascinated by the disintegration of the chains she had materialized. She moved them experimentally, flinging a little bit of brain matter and making Mayumi flinch backwards.

"Uh, oops. May have underestimated my strength," she blurted, voice turning thoughtful halfway through. That had been interesting. It had been an enormous amount of chakra, however, and she didn't feel the least bit drained. Actually, it was a bit invigorating. How odd.

Lost in her analysis of her new power, she barely turned in time to catch her sensei ram a fist wreathed in solid lightning through the original target and the third opponent fail to move out of a glob of fire that Anko spat. The pause in motion lost him his head—Jun crossed twin daggers the length of her forearm in an X shape that popped it cleanly off like the eraser off a mechanical pencil. He didn't even try to dodge the resultant blood spray, turning his face up to catch it like Ino liked to do with a spring shower.

"Eww," Aiko breathed, a little grossed out.

Someone scoffed. "Like you're one to talk! What the hell was that, short stuff?" Naomi stuck her tongue out, scrunching up her face in disgust. "That was so weird!"

Aiko gave a giddy little giggle, still high on adrenaline and trying not to look directly at the mess she had just made. "Uzumaki chakra chains, apparently," she supplied a little absentmindedly. "Never worked quite like that before…"

'Never worked at all before,' a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Karin snarked. She ignored that in favor of the strange expression that cross Mayumi's face. "Uzu.. Uzumaki?" she asked quietly, as if to herself, looking Aiko up and down. Then she shook her head. "Well, good thing we met up. That would have taken longer three on three." She wiped her hands off on her thighs, walking over to the original target and using her toe to push him over. "You don't mind, do you?" She sounded perfectly nonchalant, but she was visibly uncomfortable around the Konoha nin who had apparently proven to be more intimidating than she had expected. Solid chakra constructs were the hardest kind, and two of them had whipped a technique like that out. Aiko tried not to smirk.

"Of course not," Kakashi said gracefully, stepping away and slouching harmlessly again. "Come along, ladies." Anko scowled at being called a lady but obligingly joined them. The three Konoha shinobi crouched in unison, and flash-stepped away towards Konoha, leaving the Rock-nin to deal with the body. It wouldn't do to stick around and get accused of trying to glean information from the corpse after all.

In a blood-soaked clearing, Jun scowled at the direction the Konoha shinobi had left in. "An Uzumaki?" he asked, tone caught between disbelief and disgust. "I thought those fuckers were long gone. Are we really going to let them go?"

Naoki frowned, looking between her older comrades. "I don't understand. Do you know her family?"

Mayumi gave a barking laugh void of amusement and shook her head. "Sometimes I forget you're just a baby, Naoki-chan." She ignored the resultant scowl. "Seal masters from the long-defunct Whirlpool village, but they've always been closely tied to those Konoha dogs." She spat on the ground and sneered in the direction of said village. "They had one about fifteen years back with that same ability when I was a brand-new genin shoved out onto the frontlines as fodder. She was a fucking monster. Never knew what happened to her. Red chained death, I think she was."

"Well, those weren't red," Jun said a bit dryly, bending to tug off the forehead protector as proof of the kill and giving the corpse a vicious kick. He hated tracking, and this stupid fuck had dragged them halfway across the country. "But I think I know what happened to her." He snickered. "She spawned and retired."

"Uzu.." Naomi's face crumpled up. With the foreigners gone, she had abandoned her attempts at stoicism. "Wasn't that the village that developed the bijuu sealing shit? With the special clan that were optimal containers?"

Mayumi's mouth moved for a moment, but she didn't say a thing. Then she gave a slow, horrible smile. "You know, that gives me an idea. What kind of profit do you think we could make off of a perfect vessel like that? Or even if no one wants to use her, I'm sure that Cloud, at least, would be very interested in making sure that career ends early. Mummy dearest didn't make a lot of friends."

Jun scoffed. "She's too old to forget her loyalty to Konoha and be controlled."

"Never too old to forget," Mayumi countered. "What, you think Konoha and those blonde bastards have the monopoly on interfering with minds? There's always a way. Any even if it doesn't work out and she ends up dead, there'll be no Red Chained Death 2.0".