#my personal clinic

[answersfromzestual]

I’m going to have bottom surgery and I wanted to know, if I am not too indiscrete, what’s name of the surgeon/s who operated you, since you say the result is pretty good. Hope it doesn’t bother u

Hello Anon,

It's no worries at all!

Dr Belanger was my surgeon. She did all of my procedures. She is a very fine surgeon and gives great results.

https://www.grsmontreal.com/en/surgeries/female-to-male/6-phalloplasty.html

This is the clinic I underwent all of my procedures. This website is really great to read through. It goes very in depth about how their clinic performs the procedures and lays them out.

Good luck Anon, wishing you the best on your journey.

Stay Golden Anon

✌️💙🩷

[theabigailthorn]

What in the academic fuck is a GIC assesment

A GIC assessment (Gender Identity Clinic) assessment is the psychiatric interrogation you have to go through in Britain if you want permission to medically transition (and some aspects of legal transition too). Also called a Gender Dysphoria Assessment.

It involves answering a bunch of medically irrelevant, repetitive, deeply humiliating, repetitive questions like how you masturbate, what you wear when you masturbate, your sexual history, your childhood history, what toys you played with as a child, your employment, the clothes you like to wear, your relationship with your partners and family, etc. The classic is "Do you imagine yourself as a woman when you masturbate?" It also involves various psychiatric tests to check whether you're psychotic, which are deeply stigmatising. You will likely have to suffer this interrogation more than once if you want certain medical and legal doors to open. If you do not answer these questions "correctly" you may be refused transition.

If you want to get it for free, you'll need to wait several years, possibly decades depending on where you live, to be admitted to a Gender Identity Clinic.

If you want to go private, it will cost you about £500 a go, maybe more. (It's not technically a GIC Assessment unless it takes place at an NHS GIC; otherwise it's just sparkling humiliation.)

At the end of your interrogation you will - if you answered correctly - be diagnosed with "gender dysphoria." There is no way for them to check whether the answers you gave were truthful or whether you just told them what they want to hear. In Britain, about a third of trans people surveyed said they lied or withheld information during these assessments. There was no way for the 2015 American Psychiatric Association Working Group on gender dysphoria - the cis people who created the diagnosis* - to know that the interview data they based it on wasn't also full of people telling doctors what they wanted to hear! The unreliability of that data, some researchers have said, calls into serious question the use and sense of the diagnosis! * Fun fact: Ray Blanchard and Kenneth Zucker were both on that working group!

The NHS spends somewhere between 20 and 90 million pounds a year (depending on how you count it) on doing this.

Contrast that process to, say, the treatment pathway for menopause, where a cis woman who wants hormone replacement therapy can just get it from her family doctor 🙃

If you'd like to know more about this, I spoke about it here in more detail with citations

And wrote about it here

[schpeenor]

i need some idealistic ass AU where dabi is still alive and functional post final war along with what was left of the league except the twist is that he looks like fucking nightmare fuel now.

and for some unknown illogical reason either the 3 manned league managed to break out or they’re just out there. free…

that or it’s modern AU no quirks (heteromorphic traits still exist though) and this is just the result of… something…

LISTEEEEN.. i just NEED more drawings of this man dealing with stupid shenanigans but he looks like this. ESPECIALLY WITH THE EXISTENCE OF THIS ILLUSTRATION, DABI PERCHED ON SPINNER AND POSING LIKE HE ISNT A WHOLE WAD OF BURNT FLESH.

i know i’m genuinely yapping right now.. but like give me spinner staring at this man and not knowing whether he should be turned on, horrified, or both.

[starrysharks]

reassassination swap AU... fuckin.... unassassination idfk

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

this is a checkpoint!! please tell me something you're grateful for/praising God for rn in the tags thank-you :)

[gothsuguru]

this man has no fucking right to be THIS beautiful… jinshi my LOVE.

[cicada-crt]

Something really hot about domming a fully naked sub while I'm clothed the whole time, gloves and all. Pets don't get the privilege of clothing, silly. Not unless you count collars and cuffs. And they definitely don't get the privilege of my touch without earning it.

Imagining training a sub to roll over onto its back in front of me, fully at my mercy whether I choose to dig the tip of my boot into its ribs or step on its cunt/cock. Instructing it to touch itself while I stand over it. Telling it when to slow down or speed up, or even when to stop altogether and see if it's still dumb enough to whine and protest. If it manages to obey well enough and not cum after working itself up, edging itself at my command, then it gets to feel my touch. I bet the leather gloves would make its needy holes feel even more filled up by my fingers. It wouldn't be hard to get the poor thing to go from begging for more to terribly overstimulated just like that. But we're not done until I say. If I have to hold it down by its fucking throat the whole time until it learns to take what it's given, for as long as I permit it, then I happily will.

[stuckinapril]

I admire girls who can pull off long nails bc it literally can never be me. I just don’t get how it works functionally

[sophiethewitch1]

gang do you think *checks list* 22 love interests is too many?

[lhazaar]

hey. i'm turning my chair around and sitting in it backwards now because i want to speak specifically to people with ocd. this is a targeted post and is not meant to apply to the userbase of this website at large or to serve as a policy decision.

hi. do you know what scrupulosity means? it is a strong, intense, often painful concern about morality or religion. it's very common for religious people with ocd, actually—the fear that you've sinned, that you will sin, that your thoughts themselves are sinful. you're afraid of being an evil person. every thought and feeling you have is scrutinized to exhaustion in case it's proof that you're evil. this also happens for non-religious people with ocd, it's just that ours will look different; it's often a preoccupation with social justice issues. you care a lot about being a good person, right! most people do. you want to be a good person, you want to be kind to others and to dismantle oppressive systems where you can. i'm making some assumptions here, but they're based on my specific audience base.

so, there's this thing that happens online, especially on tumblr and twitter—not because bluh bluh platforms bad, but because of the ways in which information is propagated on here. people used to tag for these posts sporadically but don't do so as much anymore. you know posts that exhort you, the reader, specifically, to take action? they tell you not to look away, not to bury your head in the sand. they tell you to give and to agitate and to donate time, money, resources.

those posts used to make me intensely, deeply anxious. i don't mean mild agitation, i mean life-ruining, day-occupying panic that seizes your entire body, and thoughts that don't leave your brain. guilt that paralzyes you because you, personally, cannot go kill the politicians responsible. you don't have enough money to do more than donate a few dollars, and sometimes you don't even have that. but because of where you live, because of the fact that you have internet access and you're literate enough to read these posts, you know that you have a level of privilege that most people never will. you're aware of that privilege because you're reasonably in-tune with social justice movements and you've probably spent some time dissecting your own privilege to examine your biases. (that's not a bad thing; i'm not here to condemn that. stay with me, if you can.)

there's a thing that can happen if you've lived with ocd like this for a long time where you become kind of incapable of telling what's addressed to you personally and what isn't. everything feels like a personal exhortation. you have trouble saying no, or knowing when you're overextended, because other people have it worse. how dare you enjoy relative comfort when people are being bombed or drowning in a climate change -induced flood or being crushed to death in a crowd panic. how dare you not be aware of it at all times, always, constantly. how dare you look away. don't look away.

i want to tell you about something i went through, if that's okay. a lot of people who follow me will already know this, but i haven't talked about this aspect of it very much publicly. in 2020, while visiting my partner in southern oregon, we had to evacuate from wildfires twice in under 24 hours. that was a really, really bad fire season, caused and perpetuated by a combination of global climate change and colonialization practices that destroyed traditional indigenous fire management strategies across the west coast of north america. fires stretched from bc to california. we wound up fleeing south, and then had to flee back north again, hemmed in on three sides. i flew back home to bc shortly afterwards, and i have this vivid, awful memory of seeing my home mountain range, the cascades, choked out with smoke from the window of an airplane. the woman in front of me sobbed the entire time until we touched down.

i remember thinking at that time that it was insane the entire world wasn't stopping. what i was experiencing was apocalyptic in scale—the fire we ran from the first time was part of a complex that chewed up entire towns. it wasn't the first fire season, nor the worst for the continent, nor the world. but all i could think in the moment was why aren't we doing anything, this is going to be all of us in a decade, why are people looking away.

if i had gone online and posted that, it would not have been morally wrong of me. there's no ascribing morality to a reaction like that. i mean, if i'd gone to someone who suffered in the years prior in australia or california and told them that ours was So Much Worse, that would have made me an asshole, but i didn't do that. i made some upset facebook posts targeted at the trump voters in my family, but i had no way to express at the time the sort of clawing panic of WHY AREN'T PEOPLE DOING ANYTHING??

the answer to that, which you probably know, is: what would they have done? we were sheltered by friends we evacuated with, but what power did a mutual in new york or wales or singapore have to affect a wildfire in oregon?

so, come back to the present day with me again, if you will. i said above that posts worded like this used to make me really, really anxious. in the span of time after the fire, i developed ptsd, and my ocd ruined my life. i took an extra year to graduate after i'd finished all my coursework because i could not send in the forms required. i was too busy spending 10-16 hours a day rearranging furniture in my room, or lying in bed, full-body tense, until it felt like my teeth would crack from the pressure. i'm medicated now. i'm grateful for it. i have more tolerance for these posts because i've been there. i know the op isn't doing anything wrong, because they're not wrong. why isn't the world stopping to look at a natural disaster, or a genocide? the world should not be like this.

you are not the world. you are someone with a brain that will torture you to death given the chance. you know how learning to reckon with your privileges, whatever they may be, requires you to not try and escape them? you need to be able to hold in your head that yes, you benefit from something that isn't fair; yes, other people should have that benefit, and that they don't is unjust. but you need to, for example, not try and weasel your way out of being white because you're uncomfortable with the guilt that it produces. you need to not go online and say well not ALL americans because you can't sit with the idea of being complicit in american imperialism. if you have ocd, you need to apply that to your own brain, too. you need to apply it to every post that you see. you need to know that people are not speaking directly to you, they are crying out in pain and fear. they are not doing anything wrong. they are scared and hurting.

they do not benefit from you taking on all the guilt of that fear and pain. i am not saying this to absolve you of the guilt. i am saying that you need to be able to exist with that level of guilt without allowing it to paralyze and destroy you. if you can't do that right now, i'm not here to cast judgement on you. blacklist phrases. i had "wildfire" blacklisted for a long time. i'm sure i missed aid posts because of it. the alternative was me being nonfunctional. for a long time, i had donation posts blacklisted across the board, because the way my ocd worked meant that i was neurologically incapable of knowing where my own limits were, and i would give money i did not have. if you need to do that, this is me giving you permission. doing this does not make you evil. it does not make you morally bankrupt. it makes you someone whose brain is trying to fucking kill them, and the world needs you to not let that happen.

this is not a post about how you're exempt from caring about the world if you're mentally ill, it's about how you cannot apply that care to anything useful if you're having massive panic spirals every other day about the guilt that you feel. your guilt should not rule your life. if it does, i say this kindly, but you very likely need medication. i'm sorry if you don't have access to that right now. you cannot think your way out of ocd. you cannot think your way into stopping neural activity. you cannot guilt your way into being a good person; you have to be able to exist with the guilt and not let it rule you in order to do that. nobody benefits from your brain trying to martyr you in the name of solving the world's suffering.

you need to be able to function, free of crushing and paralyzing guilt, before you can help anyone. you are not an effective ally like this just because your brain tells you that it's necessary.

[bruhstation]

of fucking course the best, most harrowing, most gut-wrenching tugs character only appeared in one episode (a bit of ramble in the tags)

[indestinatus]

I MATCHED I MATCHED IN MY MEDICAL RESIDENCY PROGRAM IN MY TOP SCHOOL I PASSED I PASSED I CAN'T BREATHE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[mylittleredgirl]

decided it’s time to cut myself a break when i “overreact” to something, because there’s basically always an impressive number of things in front of it that i’m not reacting to. which is probably true for everyone on earth actually.

[the-meme-monarch]

so i should probably state I'm taking a little hiatus from commissions until my wisdom tooth extraction sites are well enough healed, so that I don't have to worry abt them all day ! i did do one since the surgery and I'm happy with it and i think the commissioner is too, but i felt i was taking too long and wasn't focused enough on it <:] i just wanted to say this bc I have a couple people waiting already and i dont want to like. idk I feel like im letting people down if I were to Wait for someone to contact me for a commission and Then saying 'hey I can't rn bc my mouth is healing and it's kinda distracting' if that makes sense. but hopefully in another week I'll be all good 👍

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[canines-crown]

I swear to fucking GOD if the alterhuman community on Instagram does the same as the first, and at the same time, last fandom I've ever felt comfortable in I'm going to FUCKING LOOSE IT

"I don't support this, I don't support that" PEOPLE NEED TO HAVE THEIR SAFE SPACES. Why does it bother you if someone is experiencing something differently from you, or has a different opinion on something.

I don't CARE if someone is "delusional", I don't care if someone's therianthropy is so strong it causes them distress. I'm NOT in the position to judge why exactly someone identifies as an animal, if I too, identity as an animal cause guess what, alterhumanity is different for anyone. Guess what, if you think you can physically turn into an animal it is still an IDENTITY and therefore makes you a valid alterhuman.

I'll stop posting about this on Instagram because dear GOD have I learned my lesson when it comes to having different opinions on something, in a community that can't think for themselves, for whatever reason that may be.

With that being said. Even though I am not going to post about this on IG anymore, just know that I fully support you physical alterhumans, all of you. You need your safe space too. Even if your identity causes you distress in any way, I love you. I do not support the pain it causes you, but I support you as an individual.

Sorry for getting a bit negative. I'm just angry right now