#my other bf (real)
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forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?
and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.
this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.
and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.
#shuake#ren amamiya#goro akechi#takuto maruki#persona 5#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#this has been on my mind for ages#siri play ideal and the real dot mp3#like the two of them happily playing chess together hits hard bc in another life they could’ve had that#but the thing is#neither of them want another life! they just want each other as is!#me for the millionth time: takuto maruki most interesting antagonist of all time#tired of all the one dimensional evil villains#give me the pathetic wet cat man who projects his issues w his ex gf onto u and turns ur bf into a stepford wife ❤️#will the real goro akechi please stand up#*#wishing i had the time to replay this game for 3rd sem alone but alas. capitalism strikes again. adulthood is a scam#so instead i am rotating these guys endlessly in my mind and throwing my thoughts out into the void#eta: have really been enjoying seeing ppl's tags on this!!!#thank u for rotating them in ur mind as well
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot 🧍♂️#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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Transfem Boyfriend or as I like to call her Girlfriend2. Open to better name suggestions as long as they fit the "Boyfriend/ Girlfriend" naming scheme.
She/her's only for this post I hope you can understand Why.
Timelapse under the cut. :)
[Video Description: A timelapse of the art above. The song in the background is "Why Would I?" by nelward; specifically the stretch from 0:09 to 1:20. The lyrics featured are typed out below. End Description]
"Why would I even sleep at all if I couldn't be by your side? Why would I even dream at all if I couldn't dream on your time? I can feel, feel, all your loving all the time I can feel, feel Like I'm a falling leaf Inside your whispering wind Each time I touch the ground You lift me up again I only need your touch To make my sweet ascend Why would I even sleep at all? Why would I even dream at all? Why would I even be at all if I couldn't be on your mind?"
#artings#transfem boyfriend#fnf#friday night funkin#boyfriend fnf#girlfriend fnf#fnf fanart#fanart#boyfriend x girlfriend#bf x gf#ship art#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#timelapse#transfem headcanon#OKAY MY TAGS ARE DONE NOW I CAN TALK#okay im being real i am half tempted to call her joyfriend as a more unique alternative to girlfriend2#i think gf2 is really funny and ill still use it but ive had time to think and i think joyfriend is a really cute choice for her since#well. we already have a girlfriend so it can be super confusing#kinda want input from others tho. if anybody agrees with me or has better suggestions and whatnot
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me making my inquisitor when i was 15: yeah 25 is a totally mature and adequate age to lead a religious military organization
me now, 25yo: im so sorry babygirl u should have been at the club….
#dragon age#this goes to sera too shes like 20!?!#dragon age inquisition#also the crisis of faith. the death of her family. the death of her old self. getting dumped#seriously lavellan is so strong if my ex bf disappeared for 2 years then suddenly came back saying his real name is JUDAS and that#the apostles were actually slavers that betrayed JESUS AND KILLED HIM#SO JUDAS LOCKED THE APOSTLES IN LIMBO!?!? i would end my life immediately and also try to kill him idk#too much heresy on this tag dios perdoname#anyways i will not change anything from the first time i made her she will be 35 at da4 with white hair and one green eye the other purple#my baby💜
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I hate men because today after years of my brother mocking me whenever I talk about something I’m well informed on by saying I did no research I finally told him how much it upsets me. So straight after he brought up my male assault statistics and called them fake before leaving.
#like wdym you think 80% of violent crimes being committed by men is a ‘fake statistic’ how would that be fake it’s based on the imprisonment#ratios!!! Males will always feign ignorance to defend their kind no matter how ‘kind’ and ‘good’ they are#justice to my youngest bro tho (I’m raising him w feminist beliefs as best I can so he can be as close to a real good man as possible) who#chased after him and started asking him if he heard they were fake on Reddit (moid bros fave place to say I get my facts from)#my youngest bro is still a moid and he has his misogynistic moments (mostly interrupting me/he’ll swim underwater when I talk as a norm)#but he’s NOWHERE near as bad as my other bro in how often and rudely he does this (my other bro also does other worse things whereas this is#all the lil guy does [I like to believe I can teach him to be a proper good guy even tho I probs cant])#but yeah fuck all men they’re all misogynists#some are better than others and maybe we can ‘fix’ them (but we shouldn’t have to- I only do this w my lil bro cuz I’m stuck with him NEVER#try this with a friend or bf who you can end the relationship with at any point)#but they’re all misogynistic in some way or another#sunni posts#radblr#radical feminism#radical feminist safe#radical feminists do interact#radical feminists please touch#radical feminists do touch#radical feminists please interact#radical feminist community#trans exclusionary radical feminism
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new camilo bf just dropped how we feeling gaymilo truthers
#our Ws are few and far between#can marco fight him tho is the real question#encanto#disney encanto#camilo madrigal#gay camilo madrigal#madrigal family#actually now that i think about he looks kinda like a shorter nicer version of my other camilo bf oc nic#he has become real...
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Every time I revisit the comic I feel people around Ai were fortunate to have her
she's really kind inside. She loved everyone so much.. no wonder her name means love
#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaai#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#many took her for granted..overlooked her pains!!! but they won't get someone as good as her so easy(that's why everyone misses her now)#I don't really want to blame her bf..he had terrible things going on and he was a kid too. he's all right on this regard in my opinion#BUT THE ADULTS#they just tossed her in the industry and thought she'd fare well all on her own and Ai really tried. She did her best. that's so realistic#hopefully people will be more attentive and kinder to each other in real life#doodle#spoilers#aand I'll be off for a trip.. I won't be able to draw the next couple days!#I'll miss drawing~
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I think my thoughts on the penultimate episode can be summoned up as disappointment over a potential we didn't get to see, and why that's ok. (This got long, 1.4k oops lol)
Am I a fan of The Rat Grinders? ABSOLUTELY. I think I started liking them even more when they were full-on confirmed villains. As fan's of the edited show, watching with a week between each episode to theorize and think, I loved seeing and theorizing over these 6 fucked up kids. We know Kipperlily prior to the second half of sophomore year, while she obviously still had her anger and jealousy over TBK's it wasn't ENTIRELY unjustified and completely out of control (although some aspects were utterly and absolutely unfounded and ridiculous). Jawbones file mentions her language being "I think Aguefort likes them more", "The school takes it easy on them", and "Half of them don't even go to classes." All of these are true things people in this world would notice. It's not until AFTER their Mountain of Chaos chaperoned trip, at the end of the year, that KLCK switches to "I hate them." The Bad Kids further briefly discuss if Jace would have asked Jawbone/looked for "students with rage disorders." I think specifically mention it being a disorder is important. Acknowledging its there, KLCK WAS trying to get help for an issue she had. They didn't talk to Jawbone about it, but did decide Jace must have given he went on that quest with TRG's. They further briefly talk about students getting randomly mad, and yes they specifically joked about Fabian shitting in class, but WE also remember the Soil club student getting so mad after having gotten that tainted soil. With the 30 Riz rolled, Jawbone's file ALSO specifically talks about Kipperlily loving her adventuring party. We know things weren't perfect, its obvious from when talking about their name change, but its still there and canon. Kipperlily loved her adventuring party. This is all just Kipperlily, mostly with our information from the first part of ep.16. It is not touching on the rest of the members, especially Ruben and his dreamscape we saw, or of his distinct 180 musical tastes POST Sophomore Year Spring Break. The implications of something happening to them during that time is pretty evident and acknowledged. So we're fans, watching a show, spending so much time thinking about not only our infamous protagonists, but also our villains. Many of us adults, getting older, thinking on the tragedy befalling kids and feeling empathy. So yeah. It's a disappointment over an unseen potential. Specifically tho? Its the potential we could have gotten on The Rat Grinder's thoughts and motivations that could have been revealed through dialogue. Dialogue that we got very little of in what could be considered a significant exchange of dialogue and not bits. I always have high narrative expectations from this show, due to its long standing history of SETTING those standards each and every season. This one episode just fell short emotionally while watching, comparatively.
AND THAT'S OK AND ABSOLUTELY NOT THE BAD KIDS/INTREPID HEROES FAULT
On the narrative side of things, The Bad Kids have had an incredibly stressful past 3 years. From day one, they have been involved in life or death stakes situations. It's always been do or die, and they've died, sometimes more than once. They've lost people and faced traumas that go often unaddressed. TBK's ENTIRE highschool experiences have been a revolving door of violence and unhinged situations. They've also always kinda been assholes, insular and more than a little mean especially to those pegged as enemies. We know them, know they have good hearts and intentions, and love and side with them constantly throughout because The Bad Kid's are our heroes. They are still teenage assholes sometimes, but that is something we love and forgive them for. The thing about this recent battle is that they are very used to the situation they are in by now. TBK's have to prioritize, move fast and hard, and get a job done so countless people don't die while something evil rises in their world. Emotions have been high for them all season, rage especially which is absolutely unsurprising on multiple fronts, and it's absolutely showing in what few dialogue exchanges we have. The Bad Kid's entered that gym for the singular purpose of stopping the situation, saving lives, and making sure something evil didn't arise to power in their fucked up world. Nothing new. They hid, already knowing where the final confrontation was going to be FORCED to happen in due to the nature of the ritual, and prepped. On point and smart of them. Then they entered the battlefield, very quickly getting to business. They know their skills, their friends and how to work together as a devastatingly effective team making heavy hits and masterfully controlling a battlefield despite the chaos. This is what The Bad Kid's Do. They got Ivy and Oisin out of combat as fast as possible, Oisin didn't even get a turn. They took out a high-damage long range attacker and the enemy wizard. They know how powerful and important Adaine is on the field, and they knew Oisin would have been the same. They crippled the enemy with the slow spell, effectively taking Mary Ann out of the running until it gets dispelled later on. Fig saw Ruben's high damage level 9 spell and dropped her ploy to get him out of combat as soon as she could. It was too dangerous to have him up, and while the hell bit was uncomfortable in the moment, it is absolutely on brand. This is what they have to do, if they want to stop Porter, who is our real main big-bad. Remove as many obstacles from the battle so more of them can focus on the fight that really matters.
This combat wasn't ever gonna go any other way, unless the dice gods decided otherwise.
This is what The Bad Kid's Do. In regards to the IH's, it is VERY important to acknowledge that while I've mentioned having high narrative expectations, this is still primarily an improve comedy show around a group of real people's DnD game. It's also a show they have a tight filming schedule for, with back to back days and long hours which we KNOW from the talk-backs leave them very tired. Like any tv show they also have a limit on how many episodes per season they can even produce. I think it was a real and genuine benefit to Sophomore year that they were doing it live, because it gave more time between sessions for the IH's to mull over information and whats been happening in-game. This is also a very well developed campaign world they haven't played in several years, which I certainly know would effect me in how I played. We still have one more episode, the Finale, and so much always happens there. I have incredible faith in Brennan as a DM and storyteller, for all that his players have a huge say in how any story he tells unfolds. There is a VERY real chance that what happens in the finale completely changes my mind on episode 19, and I will go back to rewatch with absolute glee because I know of the coming emotional catharsis in relation to The Rat Grinders. There is also a very real chance we don't get that in the way we want it, but that will be ok too. I will still love this season, rewatch it and laugh and have fun. The best part of having a fandom, is watching us take canon apart to fuel endless au's, fix-it's, character studies, ect. Taking crumbs and going wild with it is par the course, especially when something in a show has left us wanting in the moment of watching it. I think more than anything, I would be and am more upset from infighting and genuine anger directed to each other and especially towards our Intrepid Heroes. It is not wrong to be upset with an episode of a show, but it is to take those feelings out on others, be in in defense from Rat Grinder's fans or justification from Rat Grinder haters. So yes! I was disappointed with this particular episode emotionally. I still think it was funny, I think the combat was brilliant and fun to watch. I still love this show and this cast, and could never dream of being mad at them for how they played a game, and for the fun they were finding within the act of playing it as the well-known unhinged improv comedians we know and love.
I'm excited for next week, buuut I am absolutely consuming fan-content to help deal with my emotions, both the highs and lows.
#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 spoilers#dimension 20 spoilers#anyway shoutout to all the inkblade shippers#we really out in our little corner going feral over crumbs and its so valid of us honestly#i love my little bitchy asshole of a lizard wizard#we really saw oisin be evil and went “actually redeemed villain draconic bf could be so interesting for the punchiest wizard girl we know”#explorations both of just a kinda evil guy you hate but is also kinda hot??#and “hey lets explore the concept of the nature of what it means to be of direct draconian heritage such as the concepts of hoards”#a dragons obsessive and possessive nature towards treasure vs. trying to just be a highschooler and function in society#especially if Oisin had a crush on Adaine for real at some point#but anyway until this i legit hadn't genuinely written ANYTHING for like 5 years?#the absolute most was some very recent dips into dcxdp crossover territory ALL of which was exclusively on tumblr#but i actually POSTED fanfiction on my ao3 for the first time in 5 years (2 inkblade onshots)#also in other news i started adderall for the first time starting 2 months ago so like#that's probably also a factor LOL
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THE WORLD’S AN OYSTER ON AN APPETISER PLATE
#man this drawing took me 28 hours plus please let it have more notes than the timestamp#i tried so many different things with my beloved corvidaenightcrawler’s help that i think would have wanted to bash my head in for how much#i was winging it while using ibis. one brush and go we be freesoloing it#anyways; first time using colored lineart with mask layers; layer opacity; folders and shadows like that#i wanted it to have a big mess glassy statue effect and i wanted it to turn out well#coachella hair my beloved#happy was the first ‘new’ danny elfman song i heard and i gotta admit; at first i thought it meant the man had lost some screws#jokes on me he never had them in the first place. i love him so much for that#real ones will see that the clock is set on 11:11#art#my art#danny elfman#my little scrapbook collection#i free handed the hands and my bf poked his eye to give me a ref for one and mylifeisadeceit stuck their finger in their mouth for the other
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doodled a thing @aroaceacacia said cause i thought it was silly, i love girl talk. vitalasubzam is real (source: trust me)
#my art#doodles#princezam#planetlord#vitalasubzam#lifesteal smp#lifestealsmp#mcytshipping#lsshipping#eclipse polycule is real. to me.#btw zams pants have his lil face logo on them#also hes wearin onea the other two's shirts i dunno which theyre both purple#zam who let u ahve TWO purple bfs#'why does lifesteal have landline phones' ummm funny :)#thats how mapicc keeps trackin down the eclipse bases he just tracks their phone calls
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With how much you stretch that gut do you think you will be able to stop gaining? I know your goal weight is around 250 but what makes you think you will suddenly grasp the reins and take control? You're spriraling down a path of gluttony and hedonism that I don't think you can stop. Your self control left you a while ago, and it's silly to think that any effort will stop the gains. You're a sexy, horny, food addicted fatty, and that's what you truly want to be
so first off, 250 is a very long term number, if at all, so definitely don't hold your breath haha
but yeah, whether or not I'll be able to stop once I get too fat is something I think about a lot. Everything that makes normal people realize they need to lose weight just pushes me in farther: feeling my clothes get tighter, seeing pictures of myself and being shocked by how big I look.... it's not the wake-up call it should be, it just makes me horny and hungry. Feeling fat just makes me stuff myself fatter.
I've already blown past every weight limit I ever set for myself. There was a long time I swore I'd never become obese, and now I'm 10 pounds over that mark and growing by the day. So what makes me think I'll be able to stop when the time comes? Maybe I just don't want to admit just how fucked I am.
#real talk tho my happiness and health is my bf's first priority and I trust him to help me not take things too far#a lot of trust goes into this and we trust each other deeply#ask
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can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck
#my t#idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc#at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know#its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together#i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are#or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then#makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM#WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up#if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place#the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering#his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl#it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no#discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know#but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf#out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know#god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened#by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows#like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it#can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences
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Explodes them with my mind
#my art#embarrassing as hell but I had this sudden urge to be held and since I don’t have anyone in my life this is the closest I can manage#they are so cringe I hate them I need them dead#imagine hugging your bf I could never#anyway I don’t think I’ll ever finish them bc they are cringe and embarrassing so yeh to the wip purgatory they go#what if we were boyfriends and we held each other 👉���#the yearning is real
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