#anyway I don’t think I’ll ever finish them bc they are cringe and embarrassing so yeh to the wip purgatory they go

[harapeveco]

Explodes them with my mind

[j2zara]

for the ask game!! 📚 💭 👖

Sorry these took all day i've been out and Tired as hell but thank u!

📚 Do you read your own fic?

I try to not feel embarrassed that the answer is yeah bc like I think if other ppl reread their own work it would make sense!!!! Like I would not judge at all and honestly co-sign rereading ur own shit. I literally tell ppl that the reason I write is bc like. It’s basically the chance to craft your own perfectly tailored special interest to share with others. So like. Why wouldn’t I like it? (And this was especially true when I was trying to write original stuff which is why it’s so frustrating I never finish anything. But also a little true now too. This whole weird cloneverse was the product of my dumb thought experiment “what if the clones were people who had the capacity to be just as tragic as Jace). It’s got everything I like in it. I try to tell myself anyway. In practice it’s like. Argh.I kinda go through periods where I like. And this is usually after I JUST posted. Wanna do other things but end up distracting myself by rereading the thing I just made over and over. And then I forget it exists and often in my mind it’s like. Oh I don’t wanna read that i think bc I have residual feelings of like. Idk embarrassment I guess? Like I convince myself it’s old and probably bad but sometimes when I’m glancing at old things I write for. Refresher purposes (usually on cloneverse lol) I end up getting suckered back into rereading it like oh hey is this actually. Good?

Anything older I mostly haven’t looked at in a while bc idk. I’m very hard on my old self. I did reread my Reddie sky high au thing and went. Hm this is actually fun I like this. Most of my IT stuff is like. Ok I think? This is kinda related but I JUST got a comment on a talent swap I wrote for DR and I literally haven’t updated the thing since 2018 and I feel so bad for abandoning it but. Part of it is bc I think if I were to come back to it I would wanna redo some of the old chapters and I feel so pained looking at the early chapters. I keep telling myself I’ll get to it. My Mukuro and Hiro proxy sibling agenda deserves it, they deserve to be best friends so bad, I’m sad I abandoned them. 

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

This is such a funny question bc I’m such a goddamn blabbermouth so I feel pretty confident that I’ve already posted so much cringe abt the headcanons for cloneverse. Like. Technically J3’s personality started as a headcanon in that i was like “oh, Porter was flirting with J3 the entire time he was falling in love with J2”. 99% of the time if i feel compelled to say it i will just say it? Actually you know what? I just thought of one that might be kinda schmaltzy and i feel bad for not saying its a 100% certainty but in my heart Ankarna grants all the clones some form of true life but it would probably be some fucked genie deal where its like there’s a reincarnation au or something. Like they have to find each other again or something. Very Hadestown Orphydice anybody got a match coded. Genuinely b/c J4 wishes she was never Of Jace she gets what she wants and its like good/bad. Bc i can never stop putting the clones in the torment nexus I don’t know if that’s completely stupid

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

I try so hard to be a planner bc I’m so frustrated by my pantser process. Like. Idk i tend to just ride momentum but without foresight you end up going in directions that can be kinda formless and completely wrong and idk. I have such hard time finishing things b/c of this i think. But when I try to plan I’m also so bad at it i don’t think I’ve ever finished a real and true outline before I start. I want to be the kind of person that has clean outlines but. Idk. So by default I guess I’m a plantser bc I do have docs full of notes but my notes are always super messy and like. Idk what I’m doing evolves so much while I work that half the time the notes end up not even accurate to what I’m aiming for. Worst of both worlds life

[winterrs-child]

What's Going On?

(honestly the title is my mood 24/7. i'll probably end up changing it bc it's terrible and i had to come up with it at a dudebro party. ((where i am rn)) so yeah!! enjoy this really short chapter... i ended up scrapping all of the stuff i had written before and started anew! :D)

Peter knew he shouldn't have been there. If May found out, she'd have a fit. And an angry aunt was not something he wanted to deal with right then. But today was Tuesday, which meant he was supposed to stay with Tony until dark, although his mentor had canceled last minute due to a meeting in Arizona and Peter was left to entertain himself until May got back from work. So, he had picked up a stray spray paint can and was working on the mural he'd started a week ago. It wasn't anything really detailed, but it was almost finished and he was actually proud of his art. He had spent nights thinking and rethinking his idea, designing every detail and once he was finally satisfied, he began to slip away to the park every night. If May noticed anything she didn't mention it, and Peter was relieved. He didn't enjoy the idea of lying to his aunt. He already had to bend the truth for Spiderman, and he didn't know if he could handle something else.

Speaking of angry May, it was getting dark. He'd have to pack up and head home soon or she would ask questions that he really didn't want to answer. He muttered something under his breath — probably an Italian curse — and began to shove the cans in his bag.

-

Harley wouldn't be able to stop himself. He knew that much from his constant parkour and he felt strangely calm as he plummeted to the ground. He could hear his friends laughing at him and he bit his tongue to keep from swearing at them. He would have probably done the same thing, after all.

Mom wouldn't care if he came home with a few broken bones. She would pay the hospital fines and go back to drinking with her buddies, completely unconcerned by the well-being of her son. Well, you couldn't expect a single mom to do all of the work for her son. At least, that's what she had said before leaving him for yet another day with her drunk friends.

He had been so occupied with his thoughts that Harley hadn't noticed the boy directly under him, and they both crashed to the ground. He didn't think he had broken anything, but the boy he had landed on might be a different story.

"You alright?" He asked, scrambling to his feet and reaching down a hand. The least he could do was help.

"Y-yeah." The kid groaned, accepting Harley's help and standing up. "Don't think you broke anything, just now. Hopefully." He grinned and brushed his hair back from his forehead, shifting the bag that was still firmly on his shoulder. "I'm Peter, by the way. Peter Parker."

"Harley." He smiled awkwardly and they stood there for a second before he came to his senses. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I literally just squashed you like a spider and I didn't even apologize! Please don't, like, sue me or anything. If you want to bring someone to court, find my dad." He cringed as he realized what he had said and there was another short pause as he struggled to find something to say.

"It's fine," Peter eventually said. "Don't worry about it. It was a worthy cause, you know? If I hadn't been there to cushion your fall you would've… I dunno… splatted?"

Harley let out a weird snort and bit back a laugh. "Yeah. Splatted. Nice." He paused, glancing up at the building where his friends had been less than two minutes ago. Either they were coming down to get him or they had left altogether, and honestly, Harley suspected the latter. "Uh, Peter. I have to get going—" Lie. "—my mom will get really mad if I'm out past sundown—" Lie. "—and I'll probably get grounded." Lie. "Sorry about almost killing you, anyway."

Peter grinned. "I wasn't even close to dying, man. You're lighter than a feather!" He paused before going on, "why were you falling from a building in the first place?"

"I wouldn't have been!" Harley felt his face go red — though he didn't know why — and he stuttered over his next few words. “I was doing parkour, and — well, I don’t usually fall, but — but one of my friends pushed me before I was ready and then I was — I was falling and… yeah.” He smiled sheepishly. “I’m pretty good at keeping my balance, generally. Don’t know how I let an idiot like him get the best of me."

Peter chuckled and clapped Harley on the shoulder, startling the other boy. "Don't worry about it. Besides, you said you had to go? I do, too. My aunt will ground me forever if I'm out later than my curfew. See you around?"

It wasn't likely that they'd meet again; they both knew it. But that didn't stop Harley from firmly shaking Peter's hand and beaming, "yeah! 'Course!" The boys smiled at each other one last time and separated ways, Peter hitching his bag further up on his shoulder and Harley collecting his skateboard and water bottle from the far side of the park. Sure enough, his friends' things were gone.

They'd left him once again.

He wasn't mad, necessarily. They had done this before and it was sort of expected by this point, but still… it was annoying. He didn't like walking home alone, especially at night. It wasn't that he was necessarily afraid of the dark. He just… didn't really like the way people moved, the way they stared. Maybe he could get home before nightfall if he ran. Hopefully, his lungs could keep up with his legs.

It always helped if he had someone to call, to text, to talk to as he went home. Someone to ground him and help him feel safer. Someone that could call the cops if anything happened. Not that anything ever had — Harley had been very safe his entire life. He just… didn’t like the dark. Never had, never would

For whatever reason, his mind strayed to Peter. The boy he had landed on (but somehow hadn't broken), who had said everything was fine when it couldn't have been. Harley was easily close to two hundred pounds of muscle, and Peter was probably half that. Kid was tiny. There was no way he was as fine as he seemed… right?

-

Peter hiked his backpack up again and started home, walking with an ease he could’ve only picked up from Tony. In fact, he’d picked up a lot of habits from his mentor. Not eating, not sleeping, spending hours without looking up from his work, and the same dark humor they often found themselves using in the labs.

“You’re turning into a mini Stark,” May had said once, “he’s corrupting my baby.”

At the time, Peter had sunk further down into his chair and groaned, “May!” He’d felt his cheeks grow red and he buried his face in his arms. So desperately he wanted her to stop, to treat him like a grown-up. But then, but then, Tony Stark came into his life.

And the teasing just got worse.

Now there were two people that wanted to embarrass him, and he loved them more than anything.

Is this what it’s like to have divorced parents? He thought, then, is this what it’s like to have parents?

He’d never really thought of May as a mom. She was his aunt, his aunt May, and she had been kind to raise him. But she wasn’t his mom. She hadn’t carried him for nine months, gone through the pain of childbirth, hadn’t nursed him as a baby. Because that was something his mother did, something Elizabeth Parker had done for him.

Likewise, Tony wasn't his dad. Hell, they hadn't even known each other for more than two years! Tony was definitely not dad material, though it didn't really matter — at least, not when they were in the lab together, laughing and talking and building the most random thing they could think of. Not when he came to Peter's presentations, made sure Peter's suit was near indestructible, came to Peter's — oh god. Tony Stark was his dad. Tony was his fucking —

He shook his head. It wasn’t doing him any good to think about this, especially not right before he was supposed to call Tony. He couldn’t — he didn’t really want to slip up and call his mentor “dad,” because, at this point, he didn’t think he could stand any more embarrassment from either adult.

It seemed like hours before he slunk into the apartment, dropping his bag on the couch and unplugging his phone — thank god he hadn’t brought it with him, or it probably would have been broken, and Peter didn’t want to bother Tony about another new cell; it would be the third one that year, and he wasn’t keen on using all of Tony’s supplies.

“Hey, kid!” The words startled Peter out of his thoughts and he grinned, rolling onto his back. “How’s your day been? I’m sorry about the meeting, by the way.”

“I know, Mr. Stark. This is about the thousandth time you’ve apologized, and I get it. I went to the park, mainly. This kid almost crushed me, but it’s all good. Thanks to my super-healing, I was fine before he could even stand up.”

“Oh? How, exactly, did he almost crush you?”

Come to think of it, why was Harley parkour-ing from so high? Wasn’t it dangerous? Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. He said something about parkour but I don’t know much more than that. He was really nice, and seemed very worried about me. Didn’t really believe that I was fine.”

He could almost imagine Tony’s brow creasing as he listened. “Did you get a name? Maybe I’ll reach out to his parents. They can’t possibly know that their son is doing this. It’s not safe at all!”

“It’s fine, Mr. Stark, really. Listen, my day's been pretty boring. What's happening in Arizona?"

"You wouldn't believe it." Tony's voice sounded strained over the phone, but Peter assumed it was just static. "Honestly, Pete. I still don't believe it myself."

[katahnisharma]

Rescue | P.P

Summary: You and Peter get an unexpected visitor and have to call for backup

Word Count: 1.5K lmaooo this is long

Requested by the lovely @holland-haven​ 

So you were kind of terrified of bugs

Actually, scratch that, you were scared of crawling things in general

It’s not like they filled you with rage or anything, you just generally freaked TF out every time you saw them

Which was a lot because living in the city meant you had to deal with them every so often

And Peter?

Well, he knows this by now since the two of you had been dating for a couple of months

And he can never believe how lucky he is that you agreed to be his girlfriend bc he falls more in love with you everyday

The way you always support him and always laugh at his dumb jokes

How your eyes light up whenever you see him and the way you kiss him, with your hands in his hair

Peter was truly and madly whipped for you

And so were you, you loved everything about the adorably sweet boy

So he was always either at your house, or you were at his

Just curled up together doing random couple things like eating candy and binge watching the tv shows you only watched together Or you’d do homework in each other’s rooms (with the door open so May could make sure you two weren’t ‘canoodling’ as she put it, even though peter was too embarrassed to admit you were the only one he wanted to to ‘canoodle’ with)

You’d be sitting cross legged on the bed, doing your Pre Calc while Peter would have his head in your lap, doing Chemistry problems

If he was being super distracting by trying to make you laugh with his stupidly cute face or tracing shapes on your thighs, you’d stroke his hair to pacify him

It was domestic bliss, and you two were just kids in love

And so it was just another one of those perfect nights with Peter at your house, binge watching Downton Abbey bc you made him try a period drama for once

And boy was he hooked, he absolutely loved it

Peter had teased you ever since he found out how much you loved them, and after you watched one when he came over, he couldn’t get enough of them

“Wait, babe, did Lady Edith set her room on fire on purpose or did someone else?”

“I don’t get why Lady Mary doesn’t just marry that Anthony guy. He seems perfect. I mean I‘d marry him.”

You nearly choked on your water bc you laughed so hard

Which made him laugh and try and kiss you to stop you from crying with laughter

So one night, both of you were in the middle of a particularly tense episode when Peter leant over and kissed your cheek.

“I’m going to get something from my bag. Fill me in when I get back.”

You nodded and smiled at him while he went to the living room to get his bag

The dinner scene with Lord Grantham and the schoolteacher friend of his son-in-law was getting so heated that your eyes barely moved from your laptop screen

Until from the corner of your eye, you caught sight of something that made your skin crawl and a whimper build up in your throatIt was the biggest freaking gecko you’d ever seen in your life

And it was right above your backpack“Oh my god, oh my god!” You yelled, shutting the laptop and practically flinging yourself onto the headboard

From the living room, you heard a thud and shuffle of feet as Peter ran back to your room

“Y/N?! What’s wrong? What happened??” he cried, standing in the doorway in his spiderman suit

You would have laughed at the ridiculousness of Peter in his spidey suit the minute you screamed, if you weren’t so FREAKING TERRIFIED

“Peter, peter save me!! There’s a huge gecko and it’s going to kill me!!” Peter’s jaw dropped and he looked around frantically 

“Wait, oh my god, where??” 

“Right there, in front of you Pete, it’s getting closer oh my god please help meee”

Peter looked at where you were pointing 

And you swear his face went blank and stark white (haha get it stark?? okay shut up now that’s enough soph)

“Mother of- it’s near my laptop!! Y/N get it off get it off!!” he yelled, when the little creature turned its head to look at him

And that’s when he snapped

“Me?! Peter you know how scared-“ 

But you didn’t finish bc Peter had leapt across the entire fucking room and crash landed on top of you glued to the headboard

“What the- Peter you’re crushing me!” you cried, trying to shift away but he was attached to you

“Oh my god oh my god it looked at me, Y/N it actually looked at me! I want to scrub my eyes out!!” he whimpered, clutching onto your waist for dear life

“Wait a minute, don’t tell me you’re scared of them too!” You hissed

Peter looked up at you and cringed

“Okay, maybe just a little bit? I’m still tough though I swear!” 

You rolled your eyes and put a hand to your mouth

“Well sure that’s fine Peter, BUT WHO’S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING IF WE’RE BOTH TERRIFIED?!” you yelled, trying to melt into the wall behind you

Peter just looked at you

And it was like it dawned on him 

THAT IF NEITHER OF YOU WERE GOING TO TOUCH THAT THING

LET ALONE GET NEAR IT

WHO THE HECK WAS GOING TO GET RID OF IT?

“Oh shi-”

“Peter oh my god it’s just you and me at home!!”

You both looked at each other immediately

“WE’RE HOME ALONE WITH A KILLER GECKO!!!” (look ally i used your line and I HATE MYSELF FOR WRITING THIS AND SPENDING SO MUCH TIME ON IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME)

By this point

The two of you were done

You both sat on the bed, peter holding you and you burying your head in his chest while you both panicked and tried to think of a solution

That’s when a brilliant idea dawned on Peter

“Y/N I know what to do, I know how to save us!”

“Oh god this sounds a little-“

Peter shushed you

“Just listen first, I’m going to call Tony and Pepper since May is out of town. One of them will come and help.”

You put your head in your hands

You had yet to meet Pepper and Tony, since Peter wanted to officially introduce you over dinner in two days time

AND NOW YOU WERE GOING TO MEET THEM EARLY

HAVING A PANIC ATTACK OVER A STUPID GECKO

“Peter noooo, oh my god, I don’t want to meet them like this! I don’t want them to see me like this!!”

“Okay yes, this isn’t the absolute best meetup Y/N, but what else do we do? Neither of us are going near that thing, and I won’t let you anyway!”

You were still freaking out, but the last part of what Peter said made you melt a little

“Awwww, you said-”

“Not the time, Y/N, you can gush later babe!”

That snapped you out of it

“Right, right. You got your phone or is it in your bag?”

“Got it right here, good thing I didn’t leave my bag in here.”

As Peter scrolled through his contacts (not many since he always reminded you that he kept only a couple) you smiled when you noticed that right after May and you, Tony and Pepper were on speed dial

“That’s so cute, you have me on speed dial? I do too!” you laughed, pulling Peter into a side hug

Peter blushed and kissed your forehead

“Yeah, gotta have my girlfriend in there. Don’t tell Ned.” he laughed

Peter hit Tony’s number while you bit your lip nervously

“Uh Mr. Stark? It’s Peter. Oh wait, you already knew that. Shoot.”

Peter facepalmed and groaned, while you tried to stop from giggling

“Yeah I know it’s you Pete. What’s up, I thought you were staying over at your girlfriend’s tonight?”

“I am, but we have a small problem. There’s a gecko in the room and we don’t know what to do, it’s just us home.” 

There was silence on the other end

“You’re home alone? That’s not very smart is it, don’t want any little Peters appearing all of a sudden.” 

Peter gasped and went bright red while you turned scarlet

“Mr. Stark oh my god!” Peter sputtered, hiding his face in his hands for a second time 

“Joking, kid! But I’ll hang up now, Pepper and I are on the way.”

When the call ended, a burning red Peter turned to look you in the eyes

“Well, that was interesting?” you offered 

Peter smiled relieved “Oh thank goodness I thought you’d think I was weird or something!”

You grinned at him brightly and leaned forward

“If I thought you were ever weird, it would only be because you like pineapple on pizza, Pete. No other reason could ever make me think that!” you said kissing him softly

Peter smiled adoringly and stroked your cheek before kissing you again

“I love you my amazing girlfriend.”

You giggled and pressed another sweet kiss to his hands

“I love you more Peter. Let’s go wait outside for the rescue team, yeah?”

Taglist: @quillys @peters-vlogs @notimeforthemessenger @toms-order @darling-parker @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @tomsfireheart @buckychrist​ @rainbow-marvel @bookishpeter @starkravingparker @okoyesbabe​ @thwiparkers @cutiehollands​ @tomhollandxreader @inlovewithmob-tom @veronicas-littleworld @da5haexowin​ @cottoncandyparker @sergeantbxrnxs @generalokoiye @beautiful-holland​ @itsholyholland @ghostlywade @underoosstark @i-dont-wanna-go-mr-stark @sholla4-314 @stormyholland @letscupcakequeen14 @let-me-luve-you @smexylemony @roses-and-sweaters @musicgirl234 @its-livelovelife @steve-thotgers @tiny-friggin-human​ @rvmanova @blueberry-butterscotch @keylla-dunspeh @lucille-lovely​ @tohollandback @yeahbutmarvel @mischiefmanaged49 @petalparker​ @lokiislowkeyhot @spideymood @yoharryyouawizard @tomhollanders2013 @holland-haven @letthembehappymcu @jnej @spiderman-n​ @positiveparker @ghostiebois @underoospeter​ @treegelbman @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @marvel-language​ @sdrecsfics​ @doimakeitthroughthenight​ @wronglanemendes​ @brokensimpson​ @greekdemigodwannabe​ 

Headcannons: @richiethotzierz​ @lemondropirwin​

[skizmin]

Ravenclaw Woojin

genre: fluff of course, sorta?? enemies to lovers but?? not really???, an adamant y/n and a soft woojin,,,, none of the other members appear which i didnt even realise until i finished

okay so woojin is ravenclaws most trusted prefect as hes the eldest one and literally does The Most to make himself available for others

seriously once he asked the defence against the dark arts professor for a 2 week extension on his assignment so he could tutor 5 people for the upcoming charms exam 

like,,,,,,,, damn

anyway so you actually do this extended course of charms, youre in the same class as woojin and for some reason??? the fact that hes so naturally good at it pisses you off

especially when youre falling slightly behind in that class

okay a LOt behind

your like,, only friend in that class is dropping it next term to focus on her divination classes and she doesn’t get it either but it doesnt affect her grades not nearly as much as it affects yours. 

shes all “dude just ask for woojin to tutor you” and youre like 

No NO no

no way are you being tutored by kim woojin. the idea just embarrasses you

you’re usually fine with getting help from peers but woojin?? everyone goes to him for tutoring and you sorta just dont??? wanna put yourself into that group???

you feel like it makes you inferior to him for some reason which is the worst feeling ever

(even tho you totally arent bc youre beating him in potions anyway)

anyway so its a wednesday morning and the class is about to end to allow the students to go have breakfast (you know how extended courses are out of normal school times ye??)

you’re tired as fuck

confused as fuck

hungry as fuck

everything as fuck

but then “y/n!” called you to your senses and you stopped packing your things

your professor had just called you up, an ancient tiny little man who was apart of the great battle of hogwarts some time ago

“yes sir?”

“come here would you?” 

you shoved your ink jar into your bag and nodded, walking out from behind your desk and saying bye to your friend who was leaving already

god she really did hate this class you thought lmao

the majority of the students were still packing their things away in a slow drawl probably instigated by the dim, sleepy light of the chilly morning

“anything i can help you with?” you awkwardly asked your professor who smiled at you, stepping down from his place standing on books to look up at you

“yes actually, ive noticed you’re falling behind.”

you cringed, hard, not even wanting to turn around and see who was watching

“i suggest you get a tutor if you wanna get an A for this semester, y/n.”

“sir, i don’t have time to be tutored!”

“well then i guess you’re going to fail this course y/n. just be tutored enough to catch you up on the syllabus and then i can help you with the rest, okay?”

you internally groaned. this was bad

“you’re smart, it’ll only be about 2 weeks before youre caught up. im sure theres plenty of people that would tutor you.”

you nodded and politely fare-welled the teacher before turning to walk out of the classroom

the classroom was surprisingly empty, and you were happy to see that, not really excited about your professor sharing the fact that you were failing the course

sighing to yourself, you walked out of the door, planning to go meet your friends in the great hall

“hey! wait! y/n!” 

you whipped around, half scared to death

the halls were practically empty yet

there was kim woojin

standing right next to the doorway you had just exited

your head tipped back. had he really been standing there the whole time?

“do you wanna meet tonight or something? we can go to the library?”

you gave him a pointed stare

“what? why?”

woojin was a little taken aback, he grew smaller under your gaze.

“oh, so i can- you know, tutor you? i heard you were behind by a bit.”

he looked almost embarrassed at how you were responding to his offer as you sharpened your gaze on him

“i dont need you to tutor me. i can find someone else.”

and with that you left a frowning, dumbfounded woojin standing in the hallway as you stalked off to the great hall

stupid woojin

who did he think he was asking you to meet him in the library

surely you can catch up on your own, you really dont need his help. you’re like, shaking your head lmao

smh

but anyway, the end of the day comes and you grab all these phat stacks of parchment and take you study charm books to the library and sit at the farthest ever table away from literally everyone

you start studying properties of all the spells youve learnt this second term

you get to the third spell, aparecium, one youve been having a lot of trouble remembering

you groaned, looking up in your book what exactly the spell meant and remembering it was in fact a revealing charm and you didnt have any pages with invisible ink on them. 

you began flipping further into the book, trying to find the incantation for concealing ink writing so you could practise 

“h-here.” 

you fuCKING LEAPED IN YOUR SEAT

BITCH TF

THAT SCARED YOu oh my god what was he doing here

“s-sorry for scaring you b-but, its got concealed writing on it so you can, like- practise?”

he sounded sorta hopeful as he slid the paper over to you, hands nervously twining with each other in front of him afterwards

your pride was getting to you tho so

“i’m good at that spell, i don’t need to practise it.”

woojin blinked and squinted at you a little, trying to figure out whether or not you were lying

“ooookayyyy. anyway, anything else you want help with? i can explain it a little bit for you?”

you resisted the MASSIVE urge to roll your eyes at him

we get it, youre good at this

“im okay, thanks.”

you expect woojin to leave then, and it seems he does too as he stutters in his movement before clenching his eyes shut

“do you not l-like me or something? or did i-, did i do something to you?” he peeked an eye open to gauge your reaction

he looked almost

scared?

oh no, oh no

what was this guilt? you could feel your glare softening in an instant

why are you liKE THIS

“n-no! i dont!” you stuttered out a reply, eyes widening slightly

and then, he smiled. and he smiled wide

you felt blinded almost, your heart started palpitating. so this is what it was like to have woojin smile at you, and you only.

you were fucked

“oh! okay then! sorry i just-, i just thought i’d annoyed you or something so..” he trailed off, tapping his shoe on the ground suddenly very interested in the lamp on the library desk

“anyway!” he spoke up again. “i’ll uh, i’ll leave you to it. and don’t forget to practise aparecium. it’ll be on the next test for sure.” he grinned at you again and you sorta maybe might have felt heat crawling to your cheeks.

“t-thanks woojin.”

he nodded at you, still smiling before leaving

you banged your head on the table, what in the world was that interaction

whilst burying your face in your hands you noticed he had left the enchanted paper with you, you shrugged

might as well use it, right?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, shit

1 and a half hours later yu were groaning out of pure frustration with yourself. no matter how perfectly you practised the incantation or how directly you swished your wand at the page, nothing appeared

no writing or anything

you were beginning to wonder if woojin gave you the right piece of parchment, that this was the one with the invisible ink

you shook your head, looking at the clock closest to you and deciding it was too late to be studying and that your brain mustnt be working right,

you packed up your stuff and went back to your dorm, making sure to get as good a sleep as possible because you had another extension charms lesson tomorrow morning

,,,

anyway so you woke up late in the morning with a sore neck and red eyes. 

this was Not Good

quickly tugging on your robes and frantically shoving things into your bag whilst brushing your teeth you rushed out of you dormitory and ran all the way to the charms classroom

you ran in out of breath, your professor looking at you with an unimpressed look. “glad to see you could make it y/n.” he drawled before turning back to the blackboard

you whined as you saw him writing a test warning for 2 weeks time, sleepily stumping your way over to your friend who was laughing at you loudly

unpacking your things, you glanced around the room. eyes landing on woojin who had a hand resting under his chin staring right back at you

your cheeks went a bit red when he smiled at you, giving you a small wave before turning his head to the board again

your friend next to you shoved you a little bit, when your turned your head you face her she simply mouthed an i saw that

you rolled your eyes and paid attention to the rest of the lesson without any distractions

anddddd thennnnnn it was over

you blinked, your notes were cleaner today than usual

“hey, y/n!” you looked up to find woojin standing in front of your desk, toothy grin on his face as per usual

your heart sorta skipped a beat before you were able to tell it not to

“hey woojin :))” you smiled, trying your best to sound friendly whilst not looking like an absolute fool

he sorta squinted at you a bit before “so uh, how was studying?”

it was your turn to look at him sceptically this time

“it was,,,,,, good??” you questioned, unsure of how to respond

woojins smile sorta falters before coming back with a somewhat sad lilt to it

“ah, right. well i gotta go. my friends are waiting.” and with that he nodded at you and left

you were confused as fuck

well, that was certainly weird

anyway, for the next week and 3 days, woojin completely avoided you

you’d be fine with this of course if you hadnt gotten that little soft spot for him a while back

it sorta hurt when your smiled at him and he sorta just sadly smiled back and looked away, or if you were gonna say hi to him he’d scurry away before one word could leave your mouth

you were really down about it honestly

bUT you also didnt have time to worry about it

your test was in FOUR. DAYS. 

AND you had studied everything else to the best of your ability apaRT from the revealing charm, aparecium.

you wanted to cry, no one could explain it well enough to you and you could say the incantation right bc everyone spoke too fast and apparently you had to use it MULTIPLE times on the tes to maKE QUESTIONS APPEAR. 

QUESTIONS

INVISIBLE QUESTIONS THAT COUNT TOWARDS YOUR MARK

basically, you were having a mental breakdown and you knew there was only one person left to try and explain it to you

kim woojin

again, he was A V O I D I N G    Y O U

which made you angry bc you neED TO GET AN A

anyway, so your class on a tuesday was an afternoon class and you sorta just planned to corner him there after class

flitwick usually left 10 minutes early to arrive at his choir practises on time and put a charm on the door so no student could leave early

so the time comes, the bells ring and students rush out of the class you go and lie in their beds or whatever most teenagers do nowadays

and you make your way over to woojin’s desk as he packs up his things, he was always the last to leave

you coughed to get his attention, when he looked up his eyes widened

“i need your help.” you stated, eyes boring into his, you could swear you saw pink flush over his cheeks

“im uh, im busy. sorry y/n-”

“just one charm? please? i really need it, no one else can explain it.”

woojins eyes softened and he bit his lip. he was contemplating.

“okay.” you smiled at him widely “lets try now, okay?”

you nodded, placing you bag down and grabbing out some enchanted pieces of parchemnt, including the one he gave you

you sat down next to him and he look confused

“whats the paper for?”

“the aparecium charm.” you replied simply, turning to face him

a look of realisation dawned over his face

“i thought you said you were good at that charm?” he muttered

you looked at him weird, why was he acting so strange?

“i lied, i didnt want help back then but i do now. so,”

and then he grinned widely, taking a piece of paper that wasnt the one he gave you and telling you to watch closely

“aparecium.” he said, clearly. swishing his wand almost expertly

you looked at the paper in front of you and saw the writing of hello appear on it in your cursive handwriting

you looked up at him in aw.

“can you say it again? slowly? i dont think im pronouncing it right.”

woojin giggled

G I G G L E D

and repeated himself, clear and slow. you nodded at him, taking a random piece of paper and clearing your throat

“wait!” woojin yelped “use this one!” 

you furrowed your brows as he shoved the piece of paper he gave you in the library in front of you

“uh, okay?” you replied, glancing up at his smile

clearing your throat again, you swished you wand and spoke clearly. “aparecium.”

nothing happened to the paper and you groaned loudly

“oh, y/n, your pronunciation is perfect. its the swish thats wrong.”

you bored your eyes into him “what?”

“youre doing it this way. youre supposed to do it this way” he flourished his wand to demonstarte to you the wrong doing

you still furrowed your brow, not really seeing the difference between the two

“here, i’ll show you”

o hMY GOD HE 

HE JUST GRABBED YOUR HAND HOLY SHIT

SIRENS CALL THE AMBULANCE

YOU REALLY ALMOST CHOKED ON AIR

suddenly you felt fire all over. red surely covering your face as you tried to concentrate but holY SHIT

“okay so youre going like this.” he moved your hand in his own, making out the movement you made before

“but you should be doing this.” 

o h

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

now you get it

you wanted to bang your head on the table for being so dumb about it

“oH RIGHT! woojin you’re literally a life saver!”

he laughed again, retracting his hand from yours as red splashed over his cheeks and onto his ears

“well, go on! try it!

you smiled, looking down at the paper and saying a strong and clear incantation whilst moving your wand exactly how woojin showed you to

you squeALED in excitement as ink dotted onto the page! 

you grabbed woojin by the forearm and raised it above both of your heads in celebration

he laughed and cheered along with you before you settled down, beginning your massive thank you speech.

“seriously i couldnt have done it without your help i could have faile-”

“y/n, read it.” woojin smiled at you

“what?” you replied, confused

“read the parchment.”

eyebrows furrowing once again you looked down at the parchment with now visible ink

do you wanna maybe go to hogsmeade with me this weekend?

your eyes widened

no way

no way no way no way

you snapped your eyes up to meet his

this is why he avoided you! he thought youd rejected him in such a selfish cold hearted way!

“i’ve uh, actually liked you for a while. we missed last weekend but im down to go next weekend if you want?”

“i- i, i mean, y-you! of course! i’ll go with you, yeah! oh my god i am so sorry you mustve thought i was such a bitch i shouldnt have lied im an awf-”

oh my fUCKING GOD

CODE FUCKING RED HIS HANDS WHERE ON YOUR CHEEKS

AND HIS LIPS ON YOURS

BREATHING? WHOS SHE

your eyes clenched shut as you reached to grab the front of his robes, kissing him back

you felt so goddamn dizzy, your mind cloudy at the absolute bliss of the feeling of his lips and how they moved against yours

he started smiling against you and had to pull away, his eyes glimmering and heart beating out of his chest

“i’ll pick you up at your dorms at 10, okay?”

god, youve never smiled harder.

[sftyngs]

BTS Orchestra! AU | Seokjin

Ya girl is back with more bts orchestra! au’s, also imagine kim soekjin in the all black concert attire IM–

anyways, enjoy!

Jimin ver. | Yoongi ver.

oh man

this one is gonna be gr8

ok so Kim Seokjin is like a fucking prodigY

he’s that one kid who plays like every instrument in the string orchestra pluS does banD aNd choir

but his true love is orchestra ok he don’t joke around with his precious orch

also he’s super good too like wtf

everyone is lowkey jealous but highkey in love with him oK

anyways he started off playing violin freshman year

he was probably second chair too bc his audition was perFect

then sophomore year he switched to cello and then halfway through the year played bass bc (“Seokjin can you play bass this semester, I know you’ve never pla–” “ok”)(and he was one of the best fucking bass players the orchestra has had, next to Min Yoongi of course)

but then found his true love pLaying VioLA OMG

he’s the one kid that always has to start shit with the cellos about what instrument is the beSt (but the cellos are always like “dude wtf u played cello” and he’s always like “sO”)

is the viola first chair but sometimes leads the viola and violin sections in sectionals

gets really defensive when someone says violas are lame

gives them the stink eye and then ignores them and then that person feels v bad and apologizes bc (“yoU inSULTEd SeokJin oPPA hOw dArE–”)

he even has his own lil fan club within the music department

like all the girls in orchestra and choir and band all bonded over the fact that they all think Kim Seokjin is so beautIFUL

he knows about it but doesn’t really say anything and when someone (Yoongi) brings it up he’s like “whEn wiLl u evEr YoOngi”

ok let’s be real here he’s best friends with dearest Yoongi who plays the bass and piano

he’s like one of the only people who can actually talk to him and make yoongi laugh but also give him extreme secondhand embarrassment

like seokjin is always telling dad jokes and making stupid puns 1. Bc he thinks he’s hilarious and 2. Bc it makes Yoongi cringe so much he has to leave the room for a few seconds

its gr8, jokes aside(literally) they have a tru bromance its cute

anYWAYS when seokjin plays solos during practice all the girls sigh bc wOw (his solos always have people crying)

nOw, you do both orchestra and tennis so sometimes u miss practices for both and it’s kinda hectic but u love it

tbh you love orchestra like it’s one of ur favorite extracurricular activities but like kiM SeoKjIn makeS u sO nervOus omFG

like u didn’t even know Jin knew ur name until he turned around in his seat and asked you if you had any rosin

ur a viola player btw u sit behind seokjin and its v nerve racking bc sometimes the second chair viola isn’t there and neither is ur stand partner so the conductor makes u sit up next to Seokjin and its like fUck ‘doNt makE anY mistAkeS’

anyways Jin was like “hey Y/n do you have any rosin”

you literally stop tuning ur viola and stare at him bc “you know my name?”

Jin rolls his eyes and tbh looks offended

“yes I know ur name why wouldn’t I, I know everyone’s name”

and ur like “,,,,,??? Bc u never talk to me”

and he’s like baffled bc he taLks to evEryoNe whY doeSnt he talK to yOu

“I’m pretty sure we’ve had a conversation before”

and ur like “nope”

“what about that one time at the spring concert when we talked while tuning the kid’s instruments”

“that wasn’t even me seokjin” 

 ,,,,,,,”oh” 

so Jin is like “well from now on I’m going to have a conversation with you every day 

and ur like WH a t 

and he like smiles and ur like GshdBDBSKZJGDDB FU KF 

and he keeps his promise okay the next few days u go to practice and when he sees you he says hi and asks you how ur doing and at first ur were like wtf leave me alone but after the second day ur like okay I guess I can roll with this 

then the day after that u don’t come to practice bc like hey u gotta go to tennis practice 

and Jin is so confused bc he has a stREAK GOING 

so he asks around and then like one of the other violists is like “lol u didn’t know??“ 

and for a second Seokjin panics bc WhTA IF SOMETHING HAPPENED

and the kid is like "they’re on the tennis team they always go to practice on this day”

and Jin just stares at the kid like ,,,,wh a t

so throughout the whole practice Seokjin is like “how do I do this, why diDNT THEY TELL ME IM–”

so after practice he finishes cleaning up and stacking chairs and stands bc hES A SAINT

and then he’s out the door highkey speed walking over to the tennis courts bC HE IS NOT LOSING HIS STREAK BUt also bc he really wants to see with his own eyes u playing on the tennis team

when he finds you on the courts ur like doing suicide runs bc someone on ur team insulted the coach and now y'all are in trouble

ur cursing said person out bc “dude wtf whY wOULD YOU—”

and Seokjin is just like staring bc wow he didn’t know you did tennis

and he just stands there staring like he’s seen the most amazing thing in the world

after u finish suicide runs one of your team members goes to get a drink of water and they’re like "are you looking for someone?”

and Seokjin is like “oh yeah I’m just waiting for y/n”

so ur teammate shouts back at you and their like “HEY Y/N YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE”

and u turn around bc ur like “ w haT”

and when u see Seokjin, he does like this lil wave and smiles at you with that gorgeous smile and gOD u want to meLt into the groUnd bc kIM SEOKjiN

everyone starts whistling and catcalling you two and ur just like “shUT UP”

jin decides to play along and when you walk up to him he throws his arms around you and screams “jAGIYA I MISSED YOU”

and ur whole team just starts yelling and hooting and wolf whistling at you two and you can’t keep ur cheeks and ears from heating up

so u drag Seokjin by the hand to where the locker rooms are and your like ?????? “What is it”

and Jin is just like “I didn’t know you played tennis”

and ur like “that’s because you never talk to me”

so he’s like “weLL that’s why I’m here, you can’t just break my streak like that y/n”

but ur like “everyone knows I don’t go to practice today”

"i diDNT KNOW”

u get up real close and touch his chest lightly with ur index finger, and u can hear his breath stutter bc wow heLlO

“well now you do”

Kim Seokjin is ShOokT

and then u start to walk back to the tennis courts before your coach gives u more suicides

and u can hear Jin running up to you and then he’s like “go out with me”

and you stop and ur like “whA t”

Jin can’t really understand what the fuck he just said either but fuCK IT

He like shrugs and he’s like “go on a date with me on Saturday”

and u just stare at him for a few seconds and then,,,,,“ok”

seokjin is lowkey in shock bc wow you really said yes

“I’ll see u around Kim Seokjin” and then ur walking back to the courts and Jin just keeps staring after u bc wow

halfway home he’s like !!!!!?????? “I SONT HAVE THEIR NUMBER WHT THE FUCK KIM SEOKJIN”

and he startles Yoongi so bad he almost crashes the car and Yoongi is like “hYUNG WHAT THE FUCK”

but Jin can’t think bc he’s scrolling through his contacts to see if he has someone’s number who will possibly have your number

after Yoongi starts driving again he’s like “whAT are u even looking fOr”

and Jin is like “I ASKED Y/N ON A DATE AND I DONT EVEN HAVE THEIR NUMBER”

he’s kinda lowkey whining and almost crying

Yoongi is so ready to slap his friend bc–“hyUNG WHAT THE FUCK I ALMOST CRASHED BC OF THAT”

but he sees the distress on seokjin’s face and he’s like “okokok look I have their number I’ll just give it to you”

and Seokjin gasps really loud and he’s like “REALLY”

Yoongi just nods

“wait why do u have their number” insert suspicious and slightly jealous Kim Seokjin

“we were once in a quintet and I needed their number to give them a ride chill hyung”

hhHhhhHhmMmMmMmmMMM

anyways Yoongi gives Jin your number and sends him on his merry fucking way 

gOd he can’t believe he’s friends with him

anyways Jin texts you later in the day asking if he has the right number

and your like ,,,,,,????? How u have my number

seokjin is like “Yoongi gave it to me I hope u don’t mind”

and ur like “lmao ok,,,,,”

u think it’s cute he was too shy and forgot to ask for ur number

anyways u arrange details for the date and oh boy oh boy u both are hella nervous but still excited

finally the day arrives and both of u are like holy sHIT this is acTUALLY HAPPENING

ok not to be lame but like u both are music dorks and so Seokjin decides to take u to see a symphony concert and little does he know that they’re playing ur favorite piece and when u get to the concert hall ur like ????? “Can u read minDs”

and he’s like “n-no…why? Do u not like it????? I thought it would be n-nice,,,,,wE caN gO somEwhEre eLse if u wNt”

but u just beam at him bc “Seokjin idk how u knew this was my favorite symphony piece ever but this is honestly the nicest thing anyone has ever done thank u so much”

he melts, he’s like so close to just kissing u then and there bc “I think I’m in love o fuCk”

so u guys get the tickets and walk inside and ur so excited ur basically skipping up the escalators

seokjin has never seen someone look so beautiful,,,,,,,wOw

when u get to ur seats ur like !!!!!!! “ThIS IS SUCH A GOOD VIEW SEOKJIN WOW”

Jin just keeps look at u bc he can’t get enough of u

from the moment the first player starts tuning and practicing before the actual concert starts u are so enthralled like holy moly

then the actual music starts and oh boy

there’s this look of pure bliss and love on ur face Seokjin can’t describe it but he loves it so much

bc he’s never found anyone who can really appreciate classical music on the same kind of level as him

there’s a certain part in the song that has u gripping Seokjin’s hand like ur life depends on it

he’s pretty sure he saw some tears in ur eyes at some point

whenever there is a viola solo you two hardcore freak out bc those are so raRE

and he’s just honestly so content sitting there and listening to beautiful music and looking at someone just as amazing 

man he has it bAd

at some point u two just end up holding hands bc it feels nice and just comfortable

towards the middle of the concert u see a married couple sitting in front of you who is like falling asleep and u start giggling

and u nudge Seokjin to get his attention and he looks at u like ?????  even tho u look cute, why u giggling

and u subtly point at the couple and when he sees he stares for a while before he starts shaking bc he’s trying not to make any noise as he laughs

this makes u laugh more and soon u both are just a giggling mess and people are starting to throw u looks

at this point u both don’t care bc ur so gone and the guy’s head is lolling around and his wife is trying to both stay awake and wake up her husband and oh man

u hide ur face in Seokjin’s shoulder bc u just can’t and ur trying to calm down enough to pay attention to the concert and Jin just thinks it’s really cute and he’s like !!!!!!!!!!!!

also not to mention ur like ‘his bicep is so firm’

once the concert is over u wait for everyone to leave and u two just sit there bc wow that was so beautiful

u look over at Jin and ur like “thanks so much for this, you have no idea how much it means to me”

he smiles at u and intertwines your fingers and he’s like “my pleasure”

you two keep looking at each other bc u two just can’t believe ur here with a person u both care about

then u both start leaning towards each other

and slowly but surely you two kiss

and it’s the most gentlest thing ever

like his lips feel so nice on urs and vice versa

Jin doesn’t want to pressure u so he takes his time and once he pulls away he just stares at you and smiles the sweetest smile

ur just like “wow…”

then the ushers are kicking u two out bc “excuse me, the concert is over, you can’t stay here please exit thank you”

u two are like o riGht

whilst walking out Seokjin is like “man I’m so glad I asked u for rosin that day”

ur like ?????? “u know this could have happened faster if you haD TALKED TO ME BEFORE”

and Seokjin is like "I SWEAR TO GOD WE’VE HAD A CONVERSATION BEFORE OK, FIGHT ME ON THIS Y/N”

u just snort and walk towards the car

and Jin runs after u like “jAGIYA WAIT”

“j-JAGIYA?????!!!!”

oh man Kim Seokjin is sO whIpPed for yoU

but so are u ok its fine its ok 

Bonus:

on the following Monday u two walk into orchestra practice together holding hands

lots of stares and open mouths

someone dropped their bow while staring 

“what do u mean u two are together wh AT”

[00001100x-blog]

8:05 AM; 6915

To my senPAI # 0, My one and only.

Before you start reading this, I would like to tell you that my head is 99.9% full of you so this thing probably won’t go as sane as I planned it to be (Okay, fine. I didn’t really have a plan buT I PLANNED IT TO BE SANE OKAY-). The other 0.1% is probably about me not being able to finish it since you know—I never really did finish a letter. (Okay maybe I did but that wasn’t counted okay. unu)

If you don’t notice, I’m a little bit of a neat freak. I want everything organized. From the font size to how it will be bolded or whatever. Please don’t mind it. I just—I just am reaaallly organized when it comes to details. Heh. (And for some reason I feel so gay doing it.)

This letter is going to be soooo fucked up. I just write whatever I think about so most likely, the thoughts would be mixed and messed up. I’ll try to fix it up and make it look as decent as I can, okay? ouo

oKAY ANYWAYS,

I’m sure I would feel a little regret sending this because 1- #manlinessgoneonceagain and 2- I really think I shouldn’t let you die down in a pool of embarrassment and cringey-ness because you may not be able to breathe or something. Actually, even if I find your embarrassment cute, I just end up worrying a lot because who knows if you suddenly do a weird thing because of it and get yourself hurt (Please don’t fall on whatever or wherever you’re rolling at, okay-). /shot just bcs/

But yeah. For now, I’m gonna accept my unmanliness and write you something again just because I had the need to. I don’t really think I would like to hand this to you as soon as I finish it because after writing it, I’m sure I would ask myself this: “Why the hell did I write this gay again?” and sob + laugh at myself after thinking about it for quite some time.

Since you told me what happens when you get embarrassed, I think I should tell you my little um… habit whenever I think of something. Something most likely evil to you, that is. I actually tend to laugh at my own idea. I once laughed so hard I choked on my own spit and end up coughing for quite a time. You can laugh at me—I’m not stopping you because actually, thinking about it, it’s really a pretty funny sight.

It wasn’t entirely Soojung that persuaded me to go here. As far as I could remember, Jessica did too—and actually, I really didn’t plan on joining Sbliss. I wasn’t really convinced with their promotion /sHOT TWICE/, okay- I was actually really busy with daebak that moment, being admin and all + I was also busy with sch—Not really.

Soojung once even had to show me your selcas and stuff because she really thinks I breathe Amber + Maybe it would make me join sbliss for once. (Which in fact was that I live Sullism that time.) I admit though, I did say I wanted to marry you twice. Oh my god- Why am I even telling you this? skjdfhaksdf

But there was a point where I really wanted to take a break from daebak so yes, that’s how I ended up joining Sbliss.

I actually don’t know what came into me when I started liking your stuff. It just felt so right. I was like… “Oh wow, this person looks easy to bully let me spam her then later on I’ll spam the others too but that’s later on hehehehe. /lIKES EVERYTHING” That time, I didn’t notice I was liking your stuff hours straight already and wow, I did forget to eat because I found spamming you so fun. Truth be said though, I do spam when I don’t have anything important to do.

Okay- I’ll tell you a secret, though.

I really didn’t want to have a relationship with anyone nor did I want to enter SBliss because of you from the start. I mean- No. I really didn’t have such thoughts because I just wanted to be friends with people and talk and socialize and you know—

That was when I entered SBliss, at least.

bUT NOPE NOPE nO I WAS TOTALLY WRONG.

And by totally, I mean totally. A really huge avalanche of “wrong”.

That thought was a huge mistake because slowly,

Slowly I start thinking more and more about you.

And goddammit, I didn’t know if that was right or wrong.

I really just wanted to bully and squish you that time. Wha- What happened?

It actually felt like the world was fLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN.

But yes, of course I told nobody because I’m the secretive person I am—Not even Jessica knew about it.

Though it was a given that they reALLY think I came here for you.

You know, there would be times that I really wanted to think of something else but then you just come up my mind and won’t get off of it. I don’t know how I survived that time trying to deny whatever things I feel for you because I really saw you as one of my first friends in here even if you’re quite evil and won’t believe my innocence. (It still does exist but I think it just never appeared before you. unu)

bUT DAMN, You were so fun to be with and I just really forget the time when I’m with you. The cuteness is a bonus, though.

Now I kind of regret typing that out- Ew I’m so embarrassed of myself.

What else should I say—

Hm. I don’t know hehehe. /shot/

oKAY OKAY

I know some of what I say and did might have scared you a lot. I’m really sorry about that, okay? I know I could be one hell of a jerk and I really didn’t mean to be like that. It’s just that… I just—I just say and do these things without even thinking about it first. That was very immature of me. Don’t get too mad at me for that, hmm?

I try very hard not to upset you or piss you off or anything but I still end up doing it. But really- I try my best(est) not to okay- rEALLYYYY. I promise. I really try my best not to upset you in anyways. Actually, I am really very careful of my words. (ok, not all the time, though.)

Also, it doesn’t mean that I kind of bully you and compliment you a lot means that I’m actually going against you, okay? Actually, when I do it, it just means that I really think you’re cute or maybe that I really appreciate your cuteness. eue

Serious, though. Even if you’re scary, you’re still the cutest to me.

You’re never a handful to me, okay? Don’t think that you are. Though you may get really angry, jealous or pissed off for some reason, I never thought of you being a handful. Wow. Why am I so understanding? I’m so nice. Ew. I shall get mad one day. /nods/

If ever I decide on not being to nice. Hahaha

I wasn’t really this nice before-

oKAY OKAY FINE I WAS ALWAYS THIS NICE.

… Half of the time, that is- eue

10:36 AM

–

11:39 AM

So because I don’t really have anything in mind, I thought I should stop for a while and just—roll around and keep talking to you while watching a drama I never paid attention to. (I basically just skip on the cringe-y parts and send you messages as it plays. /sHOT HARD/)

LeT ME CONTINUE WITH MY STUFF–

Actually, I tend to really look down at myself and tell everyone that I’m the worse.

I mean—I really think that I am bad at mostly everything.

Actually there was this time where I think I really can’t catch up to your standards and that I forget everything easily and that I fail.

I feel that even my typos are really unacceptable tbqh

But yeah,

I’m starting to think it’s okay because you don’t mind it.

Because you don’t mind my weirdness and fails even though most of the time I’m pretty much the definition for weird and failure.

You still do make fun of them but yeah-

At times I don’t think I’m actually boyfriend-y enough. (If ever that term exists.) I actually don’t think I treat you the best I could so everyday, I try my best to be better (But most likely, I still end up being the weirdo I am). I try my best to be a little more oppa- like to but yeah. I guess being an oppa type of guy isn’t my style. Maybe I’m really created to be a little kid forever and ever and eveRRRRRRR. I feel bad about that because I think that maybe you think that you should look after me, not the other way around.

I’m sorry I have some weird insecurities—I know you never heard about them at all. eW. I feel like a gay saying this all to you right now but meh.

Wow. This letter is getting long. I haven’t even gone to the best part yet—

So yes.

What else should I say-

Yes, so I don’t think I have told you this but I really appreciate each and everything you do to/for me. I know you try your best to endure all the praising and the bullying I’ve done. All your efforts, every little thing you tell me. I appreciate it, okay? Okay.

Wow I don’t know what to say now-

Oh yes-

So I am really pretty disturbed whenever I wake up at a weird hour in the morning and want to badly talk to you. I mean- I wouldn’t want to wake up and disturb you since you’re a really light sleeper and I don’t really want to ruin your sleep much more.

(The thunder’s pretty much distracting me. It’s getting louder and louder and yeah- It’s distracting. Followed by heavy rains- Wow this reminds me of you so much I–)

There are actually times where I badly wanted to tell you nonsense at 2AM and there are also times where I really don’t wanna go and leave you even if I badly needed to—this is why I don’t wanna sleep even if I really am so sleepy. Wow what even why am I telling you this—

1:12 PM

–

3:06 PM

I actually wonder why I keep on telling myself “Oh. Here’s the romantic part, Here’s the romantic part.” When I actually haven’t even written something romantic- This is the fourth page already and I still don’t get to write you the romantic part. I’m trying my very best of thinking something romantic right now-

So for now, let me repeat the things I keep on telling you.

Again, please forgive me for my endless praises and compliments okay? I just do really think you’re cute.

No.

You’re beautiful. As you said, it’s what the inside that counts. It’s your words okay- I don’t think you will doubt your doctor- ness, right? eue

And though it doesn’t look like it, you are really so innocent. Just like a little kid. A little girl, to be exact. I don’t think I could see someone else as pure and cute and innocent as you are when you talk about the things you like. When you talk about animals, candies, stuffed toys and really cute stuff.

I don’t think I would find someone as cute as you when you suddenly do those ridiculously cute random things when you can’t say anything anymore.

iDK y R U LIKE DIS U TORTURE

But yes ok- No matter how much of a mental torture you are because of your cuteness, I still love you.

I wanted to write every single thing I adore about you but I’m afraid that you’re going to either be weirded out or get too embarrassed so I guess I shall not enumerate each one of them. Besides, I think you would get too lazy reading in the middle of it and fall asleep. Four pages is already quite long, What else if it becomes ten, right?

I don’t want to be the next John Green alright so I’d just stop right here and carry on with this letter. My goal right now is not to end up writing you a novel- like letter even though I’m sure it already is one.

oKAY OKAY

What to say again—

Actually I have a lot of things I wanted to tell you right now but wow, now I’m writing it, it went: “Poof. All gone hehehe good luck Eric, try to remember us all. eue”

Wow so my brain is pretty much going against me- I actually an trying to remember whatever I wanted to tell you but i don’t remember them anymore I’m wtf at myself ene.

I guess my brain really gives me a hard time whenever I try making you a letter because this just keeps on happening to me. I guess I’m lucky enough to reach the fourth page without any hardships. My mind being a bitch plus you being super cute though—I don’t think that this will really result well. My mind is starting to create chaos and I don’t think I would be able to remember what I wanted to tell you since earlier-

5:15 PM

–

7:30 PM

I’m sure I won’t be able to keep the fact that I wrote something for you as I showed you a peek already—A peek of how much of a long and boring letter I made you. This time, I hope that I will end up with a big smile and an accomplishment. An accomplishment that I, Eric the PeaNam, wrote my one and only legit senpai, Amber Liu a more than 2,000 word letter. Awesome.

I think if I wait till the twelfth, this will be long enough as a chapter or two. I guess I shall send this to you as soon as I finish.

And I shall finish it immediately- As fast as I could so I wouldn’t be able to drag it any longer because the longer it stays with me, the more chances I’d be adding a lot of unnecessary things. – Like what I’m saying right now.

I wanted to end this letter with really, really sweet words- God. I don’t think this letter is romantic eveN ONE BIT. Dammit, I wanted it to be sweeter than sugar.

But anyways, I think it didn’t get to the pont. It is a little off. I’m sorry about that. As I said, I really haven’t really written anything legit in a long time. I actually think that more than half of what I wrote is pure crap. I think I keep on repeating my words as well. I do this to most of my letter for some reason- I just keep on going round and round till I think I’ve said enough.

Okay, All I really wanted to say here is that I love you, okay?

I love you, I love you, I love you so much. Very much.

And I’ll do my best to be more and more better each day and make sure I never step off of my spot and continue holding your heart. I’ll make sure to get arrested as well. Because I know and I am sure I have at least to pay back for stealing your heart, right? Heh.

Just make sure to stay by my side because without you I feel so cold. (Geddit, geddit? ouo)

I guess I’d have to end my letter this way- I’m sure I haven’t told you everything in my mind right now but I’m sure that each and every one of my thoughts screams I love you on max volume—Probably even louder than that if possible.

9:09 PM.

By Eric Nam. 6915.

Total words: 2,699 (Time and emoticons included)

Pages: 5(portrait)/ 4 (landsacpe)