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Flowchart / Intern 2 from My Music Show by the Finebros
#my music intern 2#mymusic intern 2#my music flowchart#mymusic flowchart#mymusicshow#my music show#finebros#fine bros#free to use#transparent
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Eurylochus trying to physically drag odysseus by his ankles as odysseus clings to some tree root. (They've reached a stalemate. Polites couldn't make it today for some reason, he had blacksmithing training.)
Eurylochus: how the fuck are you king?
Odysseus, who needs to get all his dramatics out before going back to being responsible: didn't you hear i stole it from my dad
Eurylochus: nevermind I'm just going to kill you
Odysseus: I mean you can try ONE of us is being trained by the goddess of war
@www-dot-why-are-you-here-dot-com
#hey odysseus you missed that thing#And are now pissing me off by being late to training#eurylochus#odysseus#epic: the musical#Pre-canon#Their doomed friendship my beloved#To be clear odysseus is a good king he's just also 16 and relaxing with his friends rn#Know that the ensuring wrestling match did make them both very late making the argument pointless#Which was on purpose on odysseus's part because he is a rat bastard#Oh wait headcanon that this is the first time eury sees Athena because she shows up 2 hours in to go#Eurylochus dropping to his knees like fuck fuck fuck#As odysseus just grins up at the goddess from the mud like 'sup Athena I think you'll find it was getting a head start on fight training#Athena then banishing eurylochus back to his home because “move mortal this is my special time with my fav”#Eurylochus laying on his floor for 4 hours screaming internally#He had thought odysseus was /lying/ about being trained by the goddess of war
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One of those weeks where everything's been about a foot and a half off from where it seems like it should have been.
The surprise work dinner on Tuesday was neither good nor bad. The boss was in town to meet with people about a thing and wanted to get together for dinner, so that's what we did.
In 4 weeks I'll be in Kansas. In 4½ weeks I'll be 43; in Arkansas. In 6 weeks I'll be in Vancouver, BC. Lots of new stuff. Thinking about a trip to scope out Richmond in February. Thinking about driving into the mountains to hide from the world for a while. Options.
Wholly forgettable uptempo music that distracts the part of my brain that decides we're doing side quests today instead of, like, the actual work I need to get done. This week was a lot of digitally imported nightcore. It doesn't work all the time but when it does it's amazing. I got more work done in the last 4 days than I have in the previous 3 weeks.
💚, etc.
#the potential third option we're not talking about yet is still in play? and we should know more v. soon??#my internal monologue says shit like 'in 2 weeks we might have a new supreme court appointed president'#however the work thing plays out i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be moving once my lease is up#and Richmond was number 2 on the list#and i think i might prefer the live music situation there over KC#they finished the refurb of the botanical garden and took down the construction fences and it's all v. pretty#but still closed because the plants need time to settle in and stretch their legs
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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thank god for indie devs making like tiny little maximum 10 megabyte freeware games on itchio keeping the art of filesize optimization alive. ASSET REUSE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#im watching a video about wario land music -> 'the bizarre music and sound design of wario land 4' by geno7#good video so far! i like this guys stuff. he talked a bit about how they did some of the sound effects for warios voice#a very like. chopped and remixed sample style of doing his vocal lines. which is very cool 1) because it saves a bit of#precious space on that gba cartridge BUT ALSO 2) it just sounds cool and interesting stylistically#and man sometimes trying to keep a file size down really does give way for some really interesting stuff#on my own personal interests in games i ADORE rpg makers rtp and how people can find creative uses for it#i love that a bunch of games can draw from the same asset pool as one install on ur computer#no bloating your hardrive with a bunch of copies of the same assets - its just already here!#and from a developers perspective i love when they reuse old assets from other games in new weird ways#some small visual novel companies will reuse backgrounds and other assets#altho i dont mind a bit of bloat with VNs since a big draw can be the big pretty images and big pretty sounds#but its still cool when people find ways to get creative with space saving. and from a players perspective its also nice#space is cheap nowadays. but its not Free. we can swallow terabytes whole with micro sds and everything#but a lot of players dont get the chance or ability to upgrade their internal memory that often. so i think being considerate of filesize i#very important. and thats not even getting into the download bandwidth limits - a lot of people all across north america can only get like#internet from 1 provider and that 1 provider often likes to upcharge and limit shit because they can#we might live in a future where a lot of powerful technology exists. but access to that tech is another story#so remember the filesize. remember the filesize.#dies in your arms
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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when you've been rotating the Perfect birthday gift for somebody in your mind for Literal Years but you can't bring yourself to make it bc you know that this person's temper will end up making them break it if it doesn't act perfectly 100% of the time, then blame it for not being sturdy enough to take it. regardless of how much heart and soul you put into it.
#portal#rosie rambles#i Need to make a portal radio with little easter eggs in it So Bad orz#best idea for armor i have so far is making the internal machinery as self-contained and small as possible#and then making a radio plushie around it (with spots for the actual interface to still peek through)#but then that runs the risk of overheating and possibly a fire hazard if i do the wiring poorly enough#augh. it could have a little software doohickey that would check if it got tuned below legal usa FM and switch over to a thing that would#let it 'tune in' to the actual frequency shown in-game with just a loop of the music for forever.#unless within the vicinity of a specific NFC chip at which point it would activate a script to override the tune with the SSTV files from#the pre-portal-2 update. or custom ones i am (metaphorically) BEATING MY FACE iNTO THE WALL IT WOULD BE PREFECT BUT BE SO BREAKABLE#then again. there are a few things that have survived longer than i'd ever expected them to. idk. i just. AARARARARAARGH#then again again. i'm broke as balls and still need to somehow scrounge up bike money
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this song ain’t got no right to be scratchin’ my brain as much as it does
#and i mean that as a compliment#Seven.txt#music stuff#Warren Zeiders#Spotify#gonna start making more use of Tumblr’s features and putting the actual songs i’m obsessed with in the body of posts#instead of just talking abt them in tags. i like music and y’all r gonna Hear about it no matter how bad my taste may be#anyways i’m at an internal war over this song#half of me is like ‘it’s just one of a million Mainstream Country Songs where some white guy sings abt heartbreak. what’s so great abt it?’#but the other half of me is like ‘yeah but. ur weak to that shit. that’s ur kryptonite bitch. it’s in ur blood. we Know this.’#‘also. nice voice + country accent + he’s blaming Himself and not just the girl + 2:40-3:00 makes u go apeshit every time.’#‘Also the cover image is hot as hell and it makes u think of that shot of Boothill standing at that pool table.’#‘oh yeah And the whole damn thing is giving off Seth YuuriVoice vibes. so like. yeah’#and i nod my head in reluctant agreement like yeah ok i guess ur right. damn#anyways if anyone needs me i’ll be in the corner listening to this on loop until i make myself sick of it#hsr boothill#Seth YV#yea fuck it i’ll tag them too why not#if anyone disagrees with me pls keep it to yourself it’s just my opinion pls let me have it in peace
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Flowchart and Nerdcore from My Music are moirails!
#mymusic nercore#mymusic flowchart#mymusic intern 2#my music show#mymusicshow#nerdchart#nerdtern 2#mod lollie#moirails#cw homestuck#lollies requests
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just finished good omens s2. i'm in so much fucking pain and agony
#EVERYONE shut the FUCK UP#it's all abt LISTEN and NO NIGHTINGALES and WE COULD'VE BEEN US#IT'S ABT THE BREATHLESS DESPERATE WAY CROWLEY WRENCHES HIM FORWARD TO KISS HIM#IT'S ABT THE BETRAYAO OF AZIRA SUGGESTING THE BOTH OF THEM BE ANGELS WHEN THEY BOTH KNOW WHAT HEAVEN'S DONE TO THE BOTH OF THEM#IT'S ABT THAT STUPID FUCKING BOBBLEHEAD AND HOW HE PROBABLY DRUGGED THAT STUPID FUCKING COFFEE#(and me screaming internally at azira to never accept a drink from a strange man—IT'S CLUB ETIQUETTE‚ ANGEL)#it's abt the music. god.#the variation of the theme from the s1 church scene where crowley saved the books‚ you know the one#it plays for gabriel and beelzebub. & it plays again when azira comes back to the bookshop#delighted and giddy to tell crowley the 'good news'#IT'S ABT HOW WE'RE A TEAM. A GROUP. A GROUP OF THE TWO OF US#AND HOW CROWLEY CHOKES UP WHEN HE SAYS HE'S SICK OF PRETENDING THAT THEY AREN'T#its abt how i am definitely lying awake never sleeping again#& how I FORGIVE YOU and DON'T BOTHER is banging pots and pans in my head at all cylinders#i just. god. they love each other so much. they're so FUCKING STUPID and i LOVE THEM but i'm LITERALLY in the deepest pits of agony#i'm in the deepest trench of anguish i can't fucking do this#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2 spoilers#gos2 spoilers#go2 spoilers
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Intern 2 / Flowchart and Nerdcore / Hiphop from My Music Show by Finebros
#mymusicshow#my music show#my music nerdcore#my music hiphop#my music intern 2#my music flowchart#mymusic hiphop#mymusic nerdcore#mymusic intern 2#mymusic flowchart#transparent#free to use#finebros#fine bros#so sorry sorry to dead name u boys but its for SEO
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Wait going off the idea that Athena keeps things from her favorite people:
What does diomedes give her?
#epic the musical#The odyssey#Greek myths#Athena#Diomedes#On one hand I would love to see diomedes gifts up on the same shelf of odysseus's carvings#But on the other hand diomedes and Athena have a much more traditional mentor relationship#Verse her absolutely batshit insane relationship she has with odysseus and the love she has for the rest of the family#And diomedes prays /interacts with Athena in a much more traditional way too#So I imagine he gives her proper sacrifices instead of yeeting random wood carvings at her#Maybe this is something that happens later in life for diomedes after he's retired and founded a couple cities#He finally has time to 1. Discover what he actually likes to do and 2. For his relationship with Athena to soften into actual friendship#Diomedes (now forty): carefully placing his first actual gift (instead of sacrifice) on Athens alter#Diomedes: goddess Athena i hope this indulgence is okay. I made this for you as a gift for all the time you have spent helping me#Diomedes: now that my fighting is done i hope you will grace me with you presence from time to time. Thank you goddess for everything.#Athena: who didn't realize she was upset that her and Dios relationship never developed into friendship until this second#Athena: clutching the gift to her chest and using quick thought to scream internally#Athena: voice cracking : It's FINE#(Later Athena dragging odysseus from his bed at 3 am screaming at full volume diomedes finally gave me a gift#He's never given you a gift proof that he likes me better than you get fucked#And then disappears before odysseus can retort because she has to spend hours finding the perfect place for her gift)
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[wakes up in a cold sweat] i have got to watch treasure planet
#caroline talks#man the psychic down the street has to be really amused by my constant internal monologue#it really goes from 'i need to eat lunch now i should do my homework i should start outlining for finals i should write something i should#exercise now hey i need to go pee please let me go pee I SHOULD WATCH AN ANIMATED MOVIE i need to listen to music it's too quiet right now'#'oh i need to go out for a walk no i need to strength train i wonder if it's too late for me to learn taekwondo wow it'd be lovely if it#was just always 2 pm on march 9 this is such nice weather'#and on and on and on#i remember one time i met someone#who was like 'i don't have any internal monologues'#and i was like. 'what. what do u mean'#and she was like 'yeah no. like. you know how some people say they have a voice in their head. i do not have one.'#and i thought she was fucking with me until i met other people#and they were also like '?? u have a voice in your head? that's concerning'#and i was like 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A VOICE IN YOUR HEAD that TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO and SCREAMS at you to do things'#turns out. my mother and one of my brothers does not have a voice in their head#and i was just like 'then WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO when you're...just sitting around?'#and my brother goes '??? idk. just sit?'#me: 'WHAT.'
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we start the conversation about racism in bandom again i am forced to remember that my faves do not expect me to consume their content do not make their content with people like me in mind and often do not care about nonwhite experiences enough to try and make space for me and us within their content and sphere. the art will and can never lose the importance it has to me but it is sometimes a little devastating to remember how unvalued unwanted nonwhite people are in bandom spaces like. still.
#like the impact of this music is unchanged but tonight i am sad actually#but its fucking sad and i get to be sad about it#there were like 2 other black ppl at dunes toronto and that made me EXCITED just for some perspective#i live in a metropolis that is the most diverse city in my country#just like. hate being reminded how much these spaces arent for me and how unwelcome we are#we have to convince you guys when you’re being racist still bc white bandom kids have internalized some fucked up sense of punk#when a lot of you are neoliberals who are still scared of black people irl#feel like i have only come online to b sad or mad today SORRY GUYS#im not trying to ruin the vibe today#but the ruined vibe was kind of forced upon me#d.riv.el#going back over to main for the night i think . sigh . weird day on the mcr sideblogs for nonwhites
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The Glorious Sons, Great Big Sea, Mariana's Trench, Gente de Zona, and uh. Hmm. Idk maybe The Irish Rovers.
I even went out a bought physical copies of the ones I could get my hands on where I live.
mine would probs be: one direction, taylor swift, ed sheeran, the script and coldplay
#what does this say about me#and my music taste#they say try not be cool#buts thats what i was listening to#i have 2 mariana's trench albums and one singles album by the lead singer#2 glorious sons albums. ine i was looking forward to coming out#i manged to get my hands on a great big sea album this summer even tho im graduted now i think it counts#i was looking for it for 3 years#and i have several irish rovers albums#only one i dont have is Gente de Zona#because theyre international#gente de zona#the irish rovers#great big sea#the glorious sons#marianas trench#music
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it's gonna be a gay emo summer i can feel it
#listening to tigers jaw n sorority noise high on the back porch#sitting in the sunshine feeling emotional damn its good to be back but i still gotta get back 2 work and get my license#i need to be more kind to myself and less codependent and save my moneyyy ugh i hate reality#im feeling very emo and like i wanna make music n art i rly hate having to go back to retail#gonna get a job n save my money but still get carts n vapes and food ofc but im gonna not buy fun stupid shit n clothes#gotta lock in to the real world and get back on my meds and be openly trans at my new job so i can face that too#ive had the longest internal struggle with my gender this past month but i gotta be#out and proud
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