#my mother is dead I can say these sorta things

[angelshizuka]

During my first viewing I genuinely thought the imp Moxxie drowned was his own mother (and based on a lot of reaction videos I've seen, roughly half of the viewers think so as well). I'm ngl... I was heavily dsiappointed, because that scene lost A LOT of impact for me once I realized that's not the case.

I now seriously wish they had made the decision to have Moxxie be forced to drown his own mother. I want Moxxie to have that kind of trauma (affectionately), but overcome it. Like, just because he physically did it, doesn't change the fact his father made him do it, not to mention he was a literal kid. It'makes his trauma so much more layered (and like someone else pointed out, it would mirror Blitz's trauma).

Idk, just... give me all the dead mother trauma!

[lucysarah-c]

Not sure if this is like, allowed to be answered and feel free not to of course. But reaction to Levi finding out someone tried to assault his s/o, or just hurting them in general like a more targeted instance rather than a battle, even before they are partners and could just be friends, you think more of a quick death or Levi would get sorta sadistic?

Have a great one 🐞 and thanks for always feeding us amazing works

Hi dear! Ah, no one has called me "bug" in years!!! Haha, thank you—that was so sweet of you!

Don’t thank me! Thank you for reading and stopping by my blog.

I really like this ask… Maybe because I’ve had a similar scenario in mind for my fic, but I just can't seem to find the right approach to it. I’ll try my best here! I’m 100% a "violence doesn’t solve anything" kind of person, and even when someone is truly horrible, I can't stand seeing them get hurt, especially physically. I’m that "sensitive" type, sorry haha. I feel Levi would say something similar to what my mother always tells me: "Don’t try to be more Catholic than the Pope" (a saying we have in Argentina, meaning "Don’t be too nice because people will take advantage of you. Be a little bit tough when necessary").

So, I’ll be completely honest with you: No, this ask doesn’t make me uncomfortable. But I do believe that Levi would resort to violence in certain situations. Levi killed a couple of guys just because they messed with Isabel’s hair. If his special someone (be it a friend, girlfriend, etc.) got hurt or was assaulted, Levi wouldn’t wait to see if she filed a report or went to the police.

He would simply stare at her and demand, "Who was it? Do you know them? Can you identify them?"

If it happened recently and she still shows signs of the struggle, she might try to downplay it. "It’s over now… It doesn’t hurt that much—"

"I didn’t ask if it hurt or if it was over. I asked who did it," he’d reply firmly.

She might avoid giving straight answers, trying to brush it off, perhaps out of shock, embarrassment, or fear—fear for Levi and the trouble he might get into. "I already filed a report and—"

"Have you ever seen any of those bastards behind bars because of a report?" Levi would counter. "Who was it? Give me a name."

"I pressed charges—"

"I’m sorry to break it to you, but men aren’t scared of charges. They know they can get away with it. They know they have friends who will bail them out, who will erase the charges, who will stand up for them," Levi explained. "Do you know what the only thing those assholes fear is? Being treated and beaten down the way they treat others. Beasts like them only understand their own language."

If the person responsible is someone Levi can’t directly deal with, like a higher-ranking officer or an MP, he’d still find a way to make them pay. He’d beat them up so thoroughly and probably in public to humiliate them. Levi knows the military can't afford to lose him, so while he might not be able to kill them, he’d ensure they couldn't sit straight for a long time. The most sadistic I can imagine him being is if he beats them so badly that they end up begging for mercy. And then Levi, lifting them by their hair, would say, "Don’t beg me—beg her."

Now, if the perpetrator is a regular citizen… they’re dead without a second chance. I can’t see Levi being sadistic in the sense of torturing someone, but he wouldn’t give them a quick death either.

So, that’s it. I hope I managed to write this well enough!

Thank you so much!

Have a lovely day.

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @galactict3a @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-12345 Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[jams-sims]

Things I would fix in the beetlejuice movie plot wise. Because it was all over the place, very corny had the 'overly progessive teen girl' BUT I still loved the movie! It wqs made for me-

But you can tell their were some manger disagreement and also Beetlejuices exwife did not need to be a thing. So here is my sorta fix it fic idea.

Lydia and Astrid are at odds, lydia after losing her husband kinda falls into herself. She throws herself into work that she really doesnt believe in, with a guy she sorta kinda truama bonded with then her dad dies. This forces the whole family back together into the old house. Lydia has been seeing vision of Beetlejuice, and it still freaks her out but but for a whole different reason. Lydia is the one rushing around making preparations for her Charles death. Astrid strom up to the attic after one to many conversation with her mother boyfriend. She finds the paper and because she doesnt believe in ghost she scuffs and says his name 3 times.

Beetlejuice expecting it to be Lydia pops out with some dead roses and when notices it someone else. The roses turn to dust and he grimances.

"Ugh- im not out here trying to rob craddles kid. What the hell do you want? You want someone dead? Mom piss you off think she needs to take a stumble down some stairs?"

"Holy shit your real!"

Because summoning Beetlejuice is a big deal something gets knocked over in the basement. Causing a loud bang and for Lydia to come rushing up to the attic. In that time, the content of the box is reveal to be baby photos of Astrid, photos of her dad and Lydia. Beetlejuice connects the dots instantly and right as hes about to yell-

"Holy shit your lydia daught-"

Lydia is opening the door and astrid is pushing Beetlejuice back into the model houses to hide him. God i should just write the fic at this point.

[jmorenoswifey]

My opinions on the new Hiatus (Kinda sorta maybe)

B4 I start my rant I, I hope DRDT Dev takes as long as they need to, real fans will be here every step of the way and will be elated once chapt 3 starts! Sending love 🫶🏾!

(Alright rant below)

Ok so basically if you didn’t read the recent drdt post, theres gonna be a hiatus for a while and one of the reasons was mixed reactions to the chapt. And I think we’re all smart enough here to put 2 and 2 together and realize it was probably majority of THOSE Ace fans ‼️By “Those” I DO NOT MEAN EVER SINGLE ACE FAN EVER, the weird ones who baby him yk‼️ and my thing is why do they think the right thing to do when their fav was culprit was to act pissy and say they were gonna drop the fangan (SOME BEING SO DEAD SRS BTW). Like please tell me how DUMB OF A BITCH YOU HAVE TO BE TO ACT WITH SUCH AUDACITY BECAUSE YOUR FAV IS THE CULPRIT?! IN A KILLING GAME MIND YOU!! LIKE I understand you can be sad but DONT sit there and bitch and whine to everyone and their mother and act like you didn’t expect it. It’s Danganronpa. (ESP TO DEV LIKE THEY ARENT WORKING THEIR ASS OFF?!)

We desperately need a fandom cleanse btw, this is actual insanity AND THE WAY I SAW THIS COMING AFTER EP 14 TOO 💔💔

[signanothername]

yess love that you made Nightmare a lil mamas boy, like tbh, i feel like he was such a lil mama boys cause he spent all his time with her, like in my opion, no one loved their mom more then nightmare.

but life if Nim was a good mom is sorta iffy, idk, i feel like she loved Dream and Nightmare, but still neglected them. not because she didn't care, but more cause she just wasn't ready to be a mom.

but god the grief Nightmare must of felt after he killed Nim and thought he killed Dream must've been crazy. wonder if he ever wished that Nim came back alive instead of Dream. maybe said that to Dream cause he would just to be a bitch.

but yeah, would love if you talked about what you thought Nim and the twins relationship was like.

HE ISSSS!!! He’s such a mama’s boy and it’s exactly cause he spent all his time with her

To Nightmare, his mom was also his only friend in a way, she was the only one keeping him company, and I like to think Nightmare used to talk to her a lot, about his favorite books and about Dream and about how lonely he felt

His mom was his only confidant and companion

The thing is tho? Yeah Nim was a neglectful mother, a very neglectful mother, and i’d say a horrible one even

Despite Nim’s circumstances in which she’s literally a tree, she’s alive in there and her spirit is heavily rooted in the tree, and by extension, rooted in Dream and Nightmare, she could at any time communicate with the twins, not in a telepathic way, but more in a sensory way, remember how i said Nightmare and Dream have roots that connect with everyone in the multiverse? It works the same way to an extent

Nim can communicate by sending signals to Dream and Nightmare, but instead of it being connected by soul, it’s that the twins are a direct extension of the tree, she could’ve at least made Nightmare feel safe at any point by signaling to him that she’s there, she could’ve made him feel less lonely by telling him she enjoys his company, etc

But she never did, she watched Nightmare cry and let him do so without giving him any reassurance, she cares about the twins but not enough to form any true emotional bond/connection with them, she cared in the sense of feeling a bit of pity for Nightmare’s circumstance but not feel protective of him, she made the twins last second before turning to the tree after all, to her, these are less like her children and more like assets she made to protect her cause she can’t protect herself, and the worst part? They’re replaceable to her, she can always make new guardians to protect herself if she wanted, and she even thought of doing so as she wasn’t convinced that children are strong enough to protect her, that was simply a mistake cause she made them seconds before her “death”

But Nightmare doesn’t know any of that, the only thing he knows is that his mother is there for them but simply incapable of communication, all hopeful and innocent little Nightmare knows is that his mother would burn the world down for them if she could (when in reality she wouldn’t)

And that’s all adult Nightmare knows too, he never got to know how little care Nim had for them

And oh the grief Nightmare feels for his mother weighs down so much, to the point Nightmare wishes he could turn back the clock just so he could stop himself from killing her, but he can’t, and he has to live with that

I wouldn’t say Nightmare wishes Nim came back to life instead of Dream, but he definitely wishes she comes back to life, cause in a way, turning Dream to stone wasn’t what Nightmare meant to do either, to little Nightmare? He just lost his entire family in one night, so when Dream got out of stone, part of Nightmare is beyond relieved, cause for the longest time he thought Dream was dead and had to live with that grief too

And tbh? I think even if Nightmare knew how little care Nim had for them it would eat away at him, but still wouldn’t change his love for her, know how sometimes even when the parent is neglecting or horrible, the child just can’t bring themselves to hate their parent? It’s the same thing with Nightmare, and if Nightmare knew how neglecting Nim is he’d be in even more pain and distress because he would try his hardest to hate her, cause how dare she? But Nightmare would know that he actually can’t bring himself to hate her no matter how hard he tries and it would make him so mad at himself

And y’know, I’ve been actually thinking about why Nightmare would even cut the tree down, even in his state of madness he’d still know not to cut the tree, and I like to think it’s cause the only time Nim ever communicated with the twins at all is during the Apple incident, in which she cursed both Dream’s and Nightmare’s names, she cursed Dream’s name for being too weak and naive for believing the villagers are his friends, and cursed Nightmare’s name for being exactly the demon the villagers deemed him to be, and Nightmare’s actions were instantaneous, one second Nim is screaming at the twins, the next? She’s dead

And Nightmare was just too disoriented to realize what he did untill reality set in

Nightmare and Dream still get nightmares/night terrors as the voice of their mother’s screams haunt them every damn day of their lives

Both twins have to live knowing that the last emotion (and only emotion they got to feel from their mother since they were born) was deep rooted anger and resentment :)

[enriquemzn262]

Talking about anime, time to mention the shows I’m watching this season:

Dandadan

I remember trying the manga when it first came out, dropped it after the second chapter since I fucking hate high school shit, but the anime looked well animated and the intro kicks ass, so I gave it a second chance and hooooly shit, it’s really fucking good! The start is indeed sloppy, but once aliens and spirits make their debut, it’s all uphill from there!

Great animation, characters and fight scenes galore, plus a surprisingly heartfelt and tragic story in the seventh episode, 10/10 so far!

Ranma 1/2

I grew up with the OG series, so it holds a special place in my heart, and man if the remake hasn’t disappointed me in the slightest! Great animation, amazing music, the characters feel even more charming than before, and even Akane got toned down from her bitchy self I still clearly remember from way back when.

Apparently the adaptation is much closet to the manga than the OG series, hence why it has faster pacing and somewhat more mellowed characters, and after reading that that means that piece of shit happosai is no longer becoming a recurring nightmare, I can honestly say I’m even more excited for this one !

Dragon Ball Daima

I’m latino, if I don’t watch this I’ll be banned from ever enjoying arepas again… Naw, I’ve been watching Dragon Ball for basically all my life, so of course I have to watch this one, plus OG DB was always my favorite, and this one truly captures the essence of that story!

Also, since its kid Goku again, his stupidity, which Super turned up to 11 for no good reason, finally makes in-universe sense, so that’s another plus!

TsumaSho

What everyone, myself included, wrote off as yet another ultra degenerate anime, this time about a dead wife reincarnating as a 10-year okd child, turned out to be quite the wholesome, if ultimately tragic (especially after the last episode ) series about a broken family of a dad and an adult daughter slowly recovering from 10 years of grief and darkness after the said death wife AND mother comes back and basically tells them “time to get your shit together you stupid idiots”, which, they do.

The mom character is the best, as while she’s reconnecting with her old family, she has to deal with her new one in the form of a broken divorced mom who keeps unintentionally hurting her, all because her own home life was a living nightmare, while her love life is nothing but betrayals.

It sorta reminds me of the weird telenovelas I used to watch at a friend’s house, but in a good way, don’t let the weird premise drive you off, it is not perverted in the slightest!

And that’s about it! I tried another anime about a slime girl, dropped it one episode in (I didn’t like its humor), then another about a sentient robot arm thing, dropped it after the third episode (mainly because the tone was all over the place), and another about the fan of a magical girl accidentally becoming evil, kinda like THAT degenerate anime from the beginning of the year, only not degenerate, gave it a try because of that, turned out to be the most boring shit I’ve ever watched in a long while.

Honestly, this season has been weak in terms of number of good shows, but man the ones that are actually good are FANTASTIC!

[cuntressgoingdigital]

I BET ON LOSING DOGS | johnny slaughter x reader

notes: i was listening to mitski at work and was gifted with the vision that is this short fic. i feel like i never see people explore how pathetic a relationship (that term is used loosely) with johnny would be. wrote this while at work so it might not be the best but i still wanted to post it!

lmk yall's thoughts! :)

cw: 18+ content MDNI, stockholm syndrome, brief sexual content (nothing too nasty), bloodplay (sorta?), praise, hair pulling, canon typical violence (vaguely mentioned), angst!, no happy ending

word count: 1.4k

the blood of another woman was smeared across your collarbone as he placed tender kisses along your skin. these were the only times he was ever gentle with you. he breathed life into you after cutting some unsuspecting girl’s short. 

at first the thought made you ill. the way he sought your affection (validation?) after a kill. it took you witnessing a few screaming matches between him and his other family members for the pieces to fall into place. the only time you had ever heard them sing his praises was when he brought home another body to be shoved unceremoniously into the cold room freezer. johnny had mentioned his past to you only once.

it had happened after a particularly ugly argument with his mother. nancy had made her usual remarks about wanting you dead.

“what do you think you’re gonna do with that girl? run off and marry her? you think she loves you? she doesn’t and she never will! put her out of her misery!” she screamed. “all you need is yer mama. blood runs thicker than water, boy. remember that.”

that was the only time you had watched him retreat with his tail between his legs. he sought out a bottle of whiskey he kept tucked away between the cushions of the peeling leather couch in his shack. the shack you had accidentally began to think of as home. he took two big swigs and leaned back against the cushion.

“ya know …i hate her. i wish she was dead. every day i wake up and hope i would finally be rid of her.” 

whenever he would get like this, you knew it wasn’t an invitation to speak. you were a diary of sorts. one he didn’t need to know how to read or write to maintain. 

“sometimes i wonder what my real mama was like. what she looked like. the sound of her voice. what she smelled like.” he took another big swig.

that night he had snuck you into the guest room in nancy’s house and fucked you so hard you felt sore in the morning. his hand clasped over your mouth so as to not disturb his mother in the room next door. he held you extra tight that night. perhaps afraid that in that moment you’d finally try and run again. not tonight. he wouldn’t be able to take that tonight. after a few hours of sleep he snuck you downstairs and back into his shack like you were two teenagers fooling around.

the next morning it felt like everyone stared at you a few moments longer than usual, inspecting the bruised bite marks along your neck and hickeys that decorated your chest. 

when sissy called you out to the garden to help pick flowers for her powders you immediately perked up. she was the only one who spoke to you outside of ordering you around. it seemed like she needed a friend as well. 

“can i ask you something? and can you promise you won’t tell johnny i asked?” you whispered, looking over your shoulder ensuring you didn’t have an audience.

“sure, dear. what’s on yer mind?” her honeyed texan accent always made you smile.

“about johnny  …” you explained the conversation you overheard and johnny’s private musings (omitting the part about him wanting nancy dead).

“oh, darlin’ ya didn’t know? johnny ain’t blood. nancy adopted him when he was young.” her voice lowered. “let’s just say it weren’t no formal adoption and leave it at that.” 

you nodded and thanked her for the information. after that the two of you carried on chatting about trivial things. how sissy should cut her hair, what color dress she should buy, and so on. 

you were the only normal thing johnny had (as normal as this arrangement could be). now when he held your chin and forced you to look into his eyes, you saw the poor child snatched from his mama’s arms before he could even remember her face. on one occasion you let a few tears fall before you could push the thought from your mind

“why are you cryin’?” his brow furrowed in bewilderment. 

“i’m sorry. i don’t know.” was all you could choke out. he used his thumb to swipe the tears away. that small, likely empty, gesture was all he could afford you as consolation. soon after, it became obvious that he was uncomfortable with the energy in the room. you watched him throw on a shirt and swipe his pack of cigarettes and lighter off the countertop. he slipped outside, letting the shack door slam shut behind him. some time passed and you followed him outside. judging by the numerous cigarette butts decorating the porch, he had spent that time chain smoking. 

“can i have one?” you meekly request. sharing a cigarette with him was one of the few activities you two bonded over. 

he pulled a fresh cigarette out of the pack and placed the filter between your lips. he leaned down and touched the cherry of his cigarette to the end of yours. you inhaled and let the warm feeling creep into your throat and down into your lungs. 

and now here you were, hours later. one blood covered hand stationed on your right breast, playing with the sensitive bud, and the other stroking your cheek. he always dirtied your body with blood from a fresh kill as an excuse to bring you into the shower with him. he would roughly fuck you from behind into the tile walls that nancy always kept in pristine condition and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

“good girl”

“you take me so well”

“you look so beautiful like this”

you stopped breathing. he had never called you beautiful before. such a delicate word had never fallen from his lips in reference to you. a rough tug at your hair ripped you away from the thought. he turned you to face him, making sure his cock never left its space between your legs, and kissed you roughly. your back was flush against the cool tile as he positioned your legs around his waist. the kiss was nothing short of hungry and animalistic. he sloppily fucked up into you, only breaking the kiss to take a few breaths every so often. this time when he finished, he came inside you. he loved to smear the white hot liquid against your skin as if he were marking his territory. tonight was different. you had long since learned not to try and guess what he was thinking and you didn’t dare ask any variation of “why?” it always irritated him.

he wrapped you in a towel and led you to the guest room to lay down. nancy be damned.

the moonlight illuminated his dark eyes and shone off his still wet dark hair. you ran your fingers through his hair, an intimate act that always kept him docile. you needed this moment to last as long as possible. 

“yer never leaving me.” he never asked. he always commanded.

“i won’t. i promise.” you reassured him, just like any other time.

no matter how hard you tried, you would never fix him. the damage nancy had done was irreparable. all the love in the world couldn’t excuse his actions. even though you tried to silence the thoughts, your heart was too soft. as sick as it is, you love him. 

but, he would never love you. he couldn’t. he needs you in a way he doesn’t quite understand, but it was nowhere near the love you felt for him. he’s gone the last twenty something years without tapping into that emotion. why would he start with you?

you often imagined a life away from nancy. a life where he was never corrupted by her evil. maybe you two would meet at the counter in a diner. he would ask about your university of texas sweatshirt and you would happily tell him about your studies. he would scrawl down his phone number on a napkin and tell you to call him. you would date until you graduated college and run off to get married. coastal california always sounded nice to you. 

anywhere but newt, texas. anywhere but here. 

maybe in that life he’d say “i love you”. 

until you learn how to rewind time, you’d continue to bet on the losing dog that is johnny slaughter. 

[strangersteddierthings]

Bad News First, Eddie

Part One 🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇FInal Part

Whew! I don’t think I’ve written this much in such a short amount of time ever in my life. The boys deserve a soft ending, I think. Enjoy!

-

It goes like this. While Eddie's been lost in his own mind, his body was living. Sort of.

Top secret government assisted living, kinda living. For a secret government hospital one would think the place would be fancier or something but it's just a regular looking hospital.

Eddie's in therapy, both for his body and mind.

He learns that the voice he heard when Eleven helped pull him from the depths of his mind was Mike Wheeler of all people, and he sounds different because he's nineteen and in college. Mike mocks him on graduating before Eddie. He regrets it when Eddie gets him into a headlock.

-

He gets to meet Eleven, outside of his mind. And he starts calling her El. Part of him can't stop thinking about Eleven as the entity he thought was going to lead him to the great beyond.

She is just a person. Sorta.

Dustin had told him there was a girl with superpowers and Eddie is glad she's real. Not that he thought Dustin would lie about this (actually, he might have thought Dustin was lying just to give him some weird version of a pep talk. Everything said before going through Watergate was suspect if he's honest).

-

When he's finally well enough to be able to leave, Doctor Owens tells him their plan.

They're gonna convince Wayne to fly to Tennessee. Eddie, El, and Mike Wheeler are gonna be flown there, too. There's a place for them to stay, to meet up with his uncle in private.

They'll stay there a month. Doctor Owens knows a doctor who can do Eddie's final evaluations before he can really go home.

That's the real kicker.

Hawkins fucking sucks. Small town, narrow views, non-conformity gets you called a Freak in the same way his Dad used to call him a fag. Like he said, fucking sucks.

But it's also the sanctuary he escaped to when he was eleven years old. It's the place where his uncle built a home for him.

So, back to Hawkins first. He can always go somewhere else later. Maybe a coastal city. See the ocean.

-

Eddie hasn't been afraid of a reaction from his uncle since that day in the hospital parking lot after he caught Eddie making out with another guy. He's got that same fear inside now, though, knowing that when El opens that door, he'll see the family he feels like he abandoned. It's not fair to himself to think that, his therapist would say, but he's allowed to have crazy thoughts right now. He's come back from being (not)dead and gets to see Wayne again for the first time. Knowing his feelings are justified doesn't make them fade, though, so he's not surprised his voice shakes when the door finally opens. “Hey Uncle Wayne.”

Wayne takes less than two seconds to reach Eddie, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. “I love you so much, you little bastard. Don’t you ever, ever do this to me again.”

It's all Eddie can do to remain upright and hug him back, clinging to his shirt like he's eleven years old again.

-

Wayne gives him an overview of what he's missed after the Upside Down came into their world (he heard that part from El and Mike, against the better wishes of Doctor Owens). Learns that Wayne and Steve live in Steve's childhood home because his parents just gifted it to him, apparently. That Wayne is only part time at the plant now due to an accident he had, and how that sparked his current living conditions.

Learns that Steve and Wayne became close because, unbelievably, Steve Harrington goes to his grave in the cemetery and cleans off graffiti on the regular.

Eddie feels a little hot under the collar because his brain reminds him of a fact he’d heard once; that the author of Frankenstein lost her virginity on her mother’s grave and a little voice in the back of his head whispers that it'd be hot for him to do the same thing with Steve on his own grave.

He has to scamper to the bathroom to scold himself in the mirror because he cannot be having these kinds of thoughts about Steve while talking to his uncle!

-

Wayne asks him, the night before their flight, “what’s something you want to do, once everything is settled and life starts to feel normal again?”

“I wanna go on a vacation. Like, a real, bona fide, family vacation.”

“Where you wanna go?”

“Think I’d like to see the ocean.”

Wayne smiles softly. “Alright. When you feel ready for it, we’ll go.”

-

“Just give him a chance, Eddie,” Wayne says randomly, as they wait to board their flight to Indianapolis.

“Give him a chance? As if I’d waste it,” Eddie feels breathless at just the thought. It's certainly not helping that stupid crush he's been harboring for years, knowing how Steve’s been treating his uncle. It was one thing to watch Steve defend Jeff that one time in high school; it's an entirely different ball game knowing he's watched over his uncle with care and devotion for years. “He took care of you when I couldn’t. He cares. I don’t think there’s a chance I wouldn’t give him.”

“How long have you had a thing for Steve?”

Eddie's brain screeches to a halt because he was didn't think anything he'd just said would give him away. He can't even think of a reply good enough to throw his uncle off his trail. “That’s not- why would you think- when have I ever!?”

“You think I wouldn’t know this about you?” Wayne chuckles.

No. No, Eddie thinks, of course you could take one look at me and know. His uncle had been able to know everything about him so effortlessly. But Eddie doesn't have to answer, so he won't. “So, we’ll be living with Steve Harrington? Will he… be okay with me being there?”

“Yeah. Steve and I had each other when we needed it. Now I need you, so Steve won’t mind at all," Wayne sounds so sure, so convinced, that Eddie is too.

Eddie smiles, pulling a strand of his hair to hide his face behind as he imagines getting to eat at the same dinner table as Steve fucking Harrington. He doesn't even mind that Wayne gives him a look at says 'you are being so obvious right now' because he is. He knows he is. He's allowed to be. Wayne's not going to mock him for his crush.

-

On the drive from Indianapolis to Hawkins, Wayne tells him the lie he told Steve. Apparently, Steve thinks Eddie's dad is coming to stay for a while. The mere thought of that sets Eddie on edge, even though he knows Wyatt Munson's still in prison. Will be for a long time, with the list of shit they got him for.

They roll into Hawkins shortly after, and while Eddie may have not been in Hawkins the last five years, and he's willing to admit that things might have changed things up since they did have to rebuild a lot of the town, he's certain that Steve's house is on the other side of it. “This isn’t the way to the Harrington house."

“Steve won’t be there. He comes here when he’s overwhelmed," Wayne says. It's still pretty jarring to hear Wayne talk about Steve like this. Like he knows him. Which, he does, obviously, because they've gotten to know each other.

Still mind blowing to think about.

“The cemetery?” is what comes out of his mouth, though.

Wayne knows what's he's really meaning to ask, though, because he shrugs and says, “we both come talk to you. Steve always starts with the bad news, you know. I think you should start with good news. Just this once." The car is slowing down, and Wayne is pointing out the front windshield, to a figure crouched down near a lone headstone. "Ah. See, there he is.”

Steve. He's too far away for Eddie to be sure sure but if anyone is still wearing bright polo shirts tucked into light wash jeans this far after leaving high school, it'd be Steve Harrington. Eddie's not even sure the car is fully stopped when he all but falls out of it.

He doesn't run to greet Steve, because that's a bit dramatic, but he's not too proud to admit he might be power walking. He slows down when he gets closer, coming to a full stop just close enough to hear Steve talking to his grave. Talking to him.

"Bad news, Eds. I'm too much of a coward to meet your old man. Afraid of what he'll sound like. Because I want him to sound like you so fucking bad it hurts. So instead of being home, I'm hiding here."

"Well, I've some bad news for you, too, Stevie. I got my voice from my mom," Eddie says, and almost instantly cringes because Wayne literally just told him to start with good news and he didn't. Eddie doesn't have much time to soak in his embarrassment, though, because Steve whips around so fast that Eddie's dizzy from the movement.

Steve looks older but it's in the way people who have seen more than their fair share of Hell look older, and less about actual aging. His eyes are wide and stunned. Eddie watches as his jaw moves but no words come out. He looks like he's seen a ghost which... ok, that's fair.

"Umm," Eddie says, a little worried he's broken him when Steve doesn't even seem to be blinking as he stares at Eddie. "Good news, Steve. I, uh, I lived. Kinda. El kinda pulled me back to the surface of my mind, or whatever, and Owens did a good job at patchin' up the goods here," he gestures to his whole body with a sweeping motion of his hand and wishes that a gate to the Upside Down would open beneath his feet and suck him back to Hell because could he be any more embarrassing?

"A-are you," he watches as Steve swallows and takes a deep breath. He's still not sure Steve has blinked yet. "real?"

"Yeah," Eddie nods, taking a few steps closer, "yeah, I'm real. I'm here and alive and real."

Steve launches himself forward then, meeting him halfway. It's so goddamn surreal be witness to how tenderly Steve actually reaches out to him, though, such a contrast to the flurry of movement he'd been just a second ago. Eddie stays still as Steve lifts shaking hands to cup his face with, pushing against his cheeks as if to test whether or not Eddie is solid. Those hands slide down, along his neck, across his shoulders, down his arms where Steve seems to need to pause and collect himself again, hands wrapped loosely around his arms just below his elbows while Steve shuts his eyes and a low, broken sound pulls itself from his throat before his eyes open again, wet with tears, and he releases Eddie just long enough to throw his arms around his neck and pull him into a hug almost as crushing as the one he shared with his uncle.

It's overwhelming in this moment. To see how much he means to Steve and not fully understand how he came to mean anything to him at all.

Doesn't stop him from wrapping his own arms around Steve's waist, though.

-

It goes like this.

He gets his own room at Harrington's house. Wayne has his own room, too. How strange it is, to not have his uncle sleeping the day away on the couch because the trailer had one room and he'd given it to Eddie.

They adjust to living together so seamlessly. Like they were always meant to be family.

They have dinner together. Real homecooked meals. Which isn't a novelty for Wayne and Steve anymore, but Eddie's memory ends five years ago, when his dinners consisted of microwavable meals or left over snacks from lunch. Wayne cooks on the days when Steve works, and Eddie helps. Gets to be taught how to cook.

For a while, Eddie is afraid to leave the house. Even knowing that Jason Carver bit the dust the same day he was supposed to also doesn’t help. He only goes places with Wayne and Steve, and even then, the double takes people send his way are enough to make him want to shrink into himself.

However, no one says anything to him. He's vaguely aware that everyone here lived through some sort of miniature apocalypse and maybe that's the kind of thing that has to happen to make a small town in Indiana change.

-

He and Steve dance around each other. He can feel it. There is something here, between them, that neither fully acknowledges.

He tries to talk to Wayne about it, but he won't give him much to go on.

"I won't be the one to say anything about what Steve thinks of you. That's gotta come from Steve. I will say this. He's waiting for you to bring it up first."

"Why does it have to be me?"

"He's had five years to gather his thoughts and emotions," Wayne levels him with a Look, "you gotta have the time to figure yourself out, too."

Well, fuck.

-

Steve waits until it's almost summer break for the kids (they’re not really kids anymore, though, but Eddie’s adjusting to that still) to ask if he's ready to face them. "It'll be a lot to handle," Steve says as he sits next to Eddie on their couch (their couch. He can't believe that's a truth in his life right now). "Eleven and Mike haven't told anyone yet, but they want to. It wasn't just Wayne and I that grieved for you."

"I know," Eddie says, "I know. I'm good. I'm alive and here and I want them to know about it."

Steve nods slowly, not fully focused on Eddie. Eddie's come to know that means he's thinking, so Eddie waits for him to speak. "Would you prefer to meet with everyone... one at a time?"

"What's the other option?"

"Well, I always host a barbeque when they all come back. Could tell everyone all at once. Like ripping off a Band-Aid."

Eddie crooks a smile because he's a bit mischievous and his mind instantly plays a scene where he walks into a backyard full of all the people he's come to care for, and who care for him, and he's trying to best to be casual about it in this fantasy. "Yeah. Let's do the barbeque thing."

-

"Bad news, Stevie," Eddie whispers as he leans against the wall next his closed door, trying not to hyperventilate. "I don't know if I can do this."

Steve reaches out and takes one of Eddie's hands in his own, linking their fingers like it's a casual thing they do all the time when it's most certainly not. "Good news, Eds. You don't have to. We didn't tell anyone you're here. You can stay in your room until they're gone, and we'll figure out another way to tell them."

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut and thinks he might be crushing all the bones in Steve's hand with how hard he's clenching it. "What if they're mad at me?"

Steve understands the real question Eddie is asking, the one he doesn't know how to phrase. "You were dead, Eds, and no one out in that yard is going to be 'mad' about any time they'd spent grieving over you. There's gonna be a lot of tears, man, like a lot. Maybe even some shouting. None of it done in anger."

"How're you sure?"

Steve lifts his unoccupied hand and cups Eddie's check. Steve’s eyes are watery and his voice is a bit choked, but he says, "because I was there. I saw them through their grief. Everyone in the backyard either loves you already, or they will."

It's so fucking intimate, how close they are, how tenderly Steve touches him. Wayne had said he'd need to take the first step, so he blames Wayne when he blurts out, "what about everyone in this room? They love me, too?"

Steve's eyes go wide in surprise before his whole face lights up in a way Eddie has never seen before. It makes Steve look younger, less haunted, and then Steve whispers, "of course I love you," like there is no other answer Steve could have given.

Eddie grabs a handful as Steve's polo shirt and pulls him close enough to kiss.

Butterflies and fireworks erupt within Eddie. Kissing Steve is so much better than he's ever let himself imagine. They're still holding hands and Steve's still got his other hand resting so softly on his cheek and Steve's lips are kinda chapped but fuck does the briefest touch of their lips together make Eddie lose all his breath.

It's not deep, or all consuming. There's not even an exchange of tongue. Steve kisses him softly, gently, pulls back to pepper little kisses all over Eddie's face that has him blushing more than he's ever done in his life, and Steve places one, two, three more kisses to his lips before pulling back to look at Eddie like he's the answer to every prayer Steve's ever had. It makes his knees weak.

"I think," Eddie pauses to lick his lips, "I think I'll be brave enough to do it if you're holding my hand."

"Just try and pry yourself away, Munson," Steve teases. "Whenever you're ready."

-

Steve was right about the tears and shouting. He was also right that no one is mad at him.

Dustin hugs him so hard they fall over in the yard and Eddie finds himself part of a dog pile that starts with crying that turns into laughter that leads back into crying, everyone grabbing at him and him grabbing back.

It's emotional. It's overwhelming. It's the best fucking day of Eddie Munson's life.

-

Doctor Owens reaches out towards the end of summer to let him know they're issuing him a new social security card. Eddie asks if he's allowed to change him name. Owens says yes.

-

"Bad news first, Eddie," Eddie says to himself as he kneels in front of his own headstone. "You've become so boring and normal, no one vandalizes your grave anymore. Good news, though. Means I can do it myself."

Before him is his headstone, a thick red line painted through his death date. Another more carefully applied line is struck through his middle name. Above it he's painted in block letters 'Wayne'.

"Eddie, come on! This road trip's gonna start without you," Steve calls from where he's leaning against the side of Wayne's pickup.

Eddie is satisfied with his work, so he abandons the paint and returns to the pickup. He slides across the bench seat, one leg pretzeled under himself to be out of the way of the gear shift. Steve follows in after, shutting the door and reaching for Eddie's hand automatically.

He's got Wayne to his left, Steve to his right, and the first family vacation he's ever taken in his life ahead of him.

Good news, Eddie Wayne Munson. Maybe everyday going forward can be the best fucking day of your life.

[funkycloewn]

I've once again come from the dead to post lmaooo

After having avoided the pilot for so long in fear of getting sucked into the world and fandom, I finally watched Lackadaisy! (My fears were right btw as it has a grip on me rn) I love it and subsequently read the comic so I knew everything and wouldn't get spoilered.

Anyway, a little time after I came across the amazing interactive fic called the Under The Devil's Moon made by @libras-interactives

I enjoyed a lot (and can't wait for the next chapter/update) and couldn't help but make ocs due to this fic being a sort of self insert thing

These characters shown are only two out the five I made :]

It's sorta rambly but I hope you enjoy it anyway!! (Especially you, Iibra 🥺)

Name: Margaret Quinn

Nickname: Daisy

Date of Birth: October 26, 1889 (31 Years Old)

Personality:

(Mostly the usual callgirl personality with some stuff added into the mix)

Years of being in the industry, has shaped this feline to be calm, gentle and soft spoken. She knows what her customers want and acts accordingly so. Though, she doesn't particularly show it — that would be bad for her image as a callgirl — she is quick to give a person a label, to categorize them. She doesn't mean to be judgy but this mindset has helped her out countless of times, so she continues on; getting to know that someone is the only way for her to lift off the verdict she holds. With the ones she loves, Margaret is very caring towards. Making sure they're well fed with both food and love is one of her top priorities. (Though, recently that has been a difficult task to maintain) This, unfortunately, can make her pushy and stubborn even when she means well.

Romantic Relationship:

Out of all the characters to choose from I chose our friendly local bartender, Viktor Vasko. At one time I was thinking of either Zib or Sable but after reading about how he would treat Chester, I was sold. I can't for that romance to unfold! :D (rhyming unintended)

Other:

• She was born and lived most of her life in the outskirts of New Orleans

• Her mother succumbed to a yellow fever outbreak, leaving her and a few other kids orphaned.

• This led to her forming a group with said children and the four of them residing in an abandoned shack.

• Margaret knows how to fix things at least temporarily because of this (e.g. pipes and infrastructure).

• (This one is a little violent so warning for that :'D) Both her front paws are missing their claws. This is due to a farmer who got sick of her constantly stealing his chickens.

• The pearl necklace she has, was given to her by Flynn. She doesn’t like anyone to know that and avoids the question when asked who she got it from.

• She likes fidgeting with the pearls. The way they softly clack when moved and the feeling of them soothes her.

• Due to her motherly nature, she will "adopt" (translation: care and look after) anyone under the age of 25 with who she is somewhat close to, especially when they are boys

• She sees Jack and Marius as older sons of hers

• Rocky could (will) be a contender for the spot of a fourth son

• She always carries a box containing a sewing kit, buttons and patches

• This has come in handy plentiful of times for Jack, mostly. On rare occasions Marius is in need of them, though I would think he's picky on what she uses; they have to match.

• Though, she says she doesn't know who Chester's father is, she knows. She just doesn't like to acknowledge it.

Voice Claim: Tiana from Princess and the Frog

Name: Chester Quinn

Date of Birth: January 6, 1917 (3 Years Old)

Personality:

This little troublemaker, has a great fondness for being one with the earth. By that I mean, he loves digging. Chester likes creating craters at playgrounds or parks, all the while letting himself be covered in freshly dug up soil. Almost all of his clothes have a grass stain and Larochka fears that he might have stained his chubby little hands for eternity. Speaking of fashion, he hates wearing shoes. A tantrum is bound to occur if you simply try to make him wear a pair. Even if you somehow achieve the impossible, he will just claw them off and chuck them. However despite all that, he's well meaning and can be gentle at times. He enjoys snuggling with him Mama or Larochka. Chester is very social and when out he's always looking for a way to make people smile.

Other:

• If he likes you, he'll make you a 'special mud pie' (a mud pie sprinkled with hand picked flowers; the more flowers, the more he likes you)

• He's handsy, mostly because he's an affectionate boy but also due to the fact he has poor eye sight.

• While he's chubby right now he grows to look more like his father, even somewhat in the face department.

• Fortunately for everyone and the tom himself, he grows out of his habit to refuse any kind of footwear. Don't tease older Chester about his phase, though, because he will get embarrassed and he will look like he just ate a sour lemon.

Voice Claim: Greg from Over the Garden Wall

Cleaned up and with his eye color when he gains his melanin

Wonder who the dad is lmaoo

Lastly a size comparison (not sure if it's accurate tho lol)

[illubean]

Chrollo and illumi(maybe hisoka if you want!) w a Latina or Mexican reader? Like they introduces them into their culture or etc! If not it’s okay !!

Illumi and Chrollo with Latina/Mexican!reader

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer Type: Fluff, Headcanons, Gn!reader

unfortunately I do not write for Hisoka >.< also I'm not Latina so if anything is incorrect pls tell me, I don't want to be offensive!

Warnings: None

Illumi Zoldyck

he's definitely the most culturally ignorant out of the two

like as a small child only asian people existed to him 💀

as an adult he obviously knows about other ethnicities existing but that's about it

if you speak in spanish/portuguese/any other language or dialect to him hes like "??? speak english"

bro doesn't like not knowing what you're saying

in my head Illumi is trilingual (mandarin, japanese and english) but I don't think he's interested in taking the time to learn another one

so yeah, he knows that whenever you speak your language when it's just him around you're either mad or don't want him to know what you're saying

honestly he could care less but if you talk about your culture to him he'll sorta half listen 😭

he vaguely remembers the things you tell him

I think the only cultural thing he'd really pay attention to is when you celebrate dia de los muertos

considering in both chinese and japanese cultures it's important to honor the dead so he respects that you do the same, even if the rituals and whatnot are different

Chrollo Lucilfer

I headcanon Chrollo as being part Latino himself but I don't have like a specific country in mind so yeah

butttttt growing up in meteor city maybe Chrollo doesn't know his background

he has a good amount of knowledge on the cultures in Latin America

Chrollo is #woke

but anyways, most of his knowledge he's gotten from books, so he listens with an open mind when you explain things to him

he likes it when you tell him authentic stories or legends and myths and whatnot

like Illumi, he pays attention to dia de los muertos

he actually celebrates it with you, putting a picture of his dear friend Uvogin on the ofrenda, knowing that he would appreciate it

he'd be interested in learning your language, in fact he may actually learn it behind your back

so when you're yelling at him in your mother's tongue he can give a response/understand

and you're like >:0 "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU SPOKE ___"

I think Chrollo would be really good at dancing and likes to go to bailes with you

if you take him to family functions they're actually pretty impressed on how cultured he is

one thing he doesn't know about is rosca de reyes.

he ends up getting the baby and by the look you're giving him he decides to hide it in his pocket and ask you about it

after you explain it to him he's relieved that he hid it before anyone else noticed he had it, because his tamale skills are LACKING

[dearest-painter]

No she’s MY daughter PT.2

Summary: Y/N Drew is the adopted daughter of Jessica drew as a 6 soccer year old girl. What she doesn’t know is that she looks a bit to familiar to her mom’s boss, in his eyes she’s the reincarnation of his dead daughter. When Y/N and her friends have to help an anomaly stay alive it reveals that more people want her as family.

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,Reader is basically Gabriella O’Hara aka Miguel’s dead daughter but you can change your looks just some things will look like Gabriella,Reader is a soccer player which is based off of my experience,Reader is 6 years old so no romance bc duh,very out of character characters,this is a series,Her mama brought her to a chase,Reader is BFFS with Pavitr,people might be out of character,tell me if I need to add more

PT.1 PT.3

You’ve been waiting for your mama for so long that coloring became so boring! “Miss Lyla, if your an AI can you tell me where my mama is please?” “I can try kid!” You smiled as she began looking for your mama, you’ve seen Miguel every so often asking if your hungry or thirsty..he’s sorta scary in your eyes as the dark room doesn’t help with his skull spider logo. He’s the same height as your dad so that made you less scared of him…sorta. “Okay kid, your mom is coming with some other people”

You nodded your head then started move your ankles in a circle motion at different times as your shoes were getting annoying so you then decided to just untie them to loosen them up. “Much better!..what to do is the question…” you made a ‘tch’ sound multiple times as you thought, steal from Miguel since in Hobie’s words ‘Big man don’t need it, he already got to much power’ or something like that, take a nap, or fix the little gizmo in your pocket…fixing the gizmo it is! You took the gizmo out and your double sided screwdriver (basically it can come out of the holder and it has a different screwdriver head on the other side). The gizmo is just a little robot fella named Gizmo.

Lyla watched as she secretly recorded it as she liked to see you happy. “There’s my girl!” “Mama!” You stopped and ran to hug your mama’s legs which you did! You then hugged Hobie which he hugged back then Gwen but you stopped at the new guy. “What’s your name? I like your outfit!” “Thanks! I’m Miles Morales!” You smiled and held your hand out to be nice. “Y/N Drew!” Miles shook your hand then looked at your mother then at you as he didn’t know what to say next. You looked around to see Pavitr as you missed your best friend.

“Where’s Pavy?” “Pavitr is busy but don’t worry, you two will see each other soon” “Yay!” You jumped a bit not paying attention to the conversation that’s currently happening between Miles and Miguel. “Don’t blame him! He had a bad teacher!” “Peter!” “Hey!” “You have a baby!” “I have a baby!” You smiled as you held Mayday as you two giggled, she then wanted to go to the wall so you walked to the wall and she started crawling on it. Miguel was say something in Spanish but you didn’t understand as you giggled seeing Mayday run or crawl away from her dad.

Jessica smiled as she knew you’ll be a great big sister with the way you take care of Mayday, your baby sibling will be so glad to have you as a big sister. Her and her husband always loved the way you ramble about how your going to protect and annoy your baby sibling as it seemed so adorable. Miguel looked over a bit to see you and Mayday playing together and laughing in joy.

He smiled a bit as it was a cute sight to see his daughter playing with a toddler. He knew Lyla was recording with the way she was squealing silently in joy so that no one payed attention to her. He wish he could take you home right now so you’ll be safe and far away from all these annoying assholes as you don’t need to be around all of these people as they’ll rot your brain.

[sessakag]

Now all I can think about is Prey!Papa-Naruto because it would be the wildest funniest thing ever! Poor Hinata is probably trying to make sure her kids grow up to be good morally upstanding people and Naruto is just….Yeah 😬. Funnily enough this Naruto probably wouldn’t have as much of a contentious relationship with Boruto because there’s no way he’s putting work above spending time how he wants 😭. And as a Kawaki hater I’m pleased to say I don’t see this Naruto being altruistic enough to take in some random abused kid so really we’ve got my ideal version of the Uzumaki family 🫢. Anyway, I bet parent-teacher conferences and kiddy playdates and birthday parties are gonna be fun times 🤣. Speaking of bday parties happy early birthday! I hope it’ll be a fun one.

Daddy Prey!Naruto is the funniest thing ever, lol.

For sure, Naruto would spend time with his little mini-me. Who would stop him?

I feel like Boruto would be very aware that his father is a homicidal nutjob and spend his time trying to keep innocents out of harms way, but he does it in ways that are just as bad as his father, because of course, the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree, and that he has this huge blind spot to when his own inner crazy is starting to show, lol. And of course, mess with his mom or baby sister, well then, you'll have a hard time telling Naruto and Boruto apart at all🤭he'd justify his violence and the bodies in his closet because Prey!Narupapa taught him that delusion is just another way to say correct, and there's nothing wrong with customizing your own reality when it's convenient. He'd also spend so much time trying to undo Hima's worst tendencies their dad is teaching her in an effort to help his mom out, but ends up making it worse by teaching her "alternative" tendencies that are just as bad but much more slicker than his father's open bluntness, which ultimately, makes Hinata's job harder, lol. Poor lady, I can see her trying to explain the situation to her crazy husband. Hinata: I'm trying to make sure the kids have a moral compass, Naruto Naruto: The fuck they need that for?

I'll be honest, I really don't know all that much about Kawaki since I don't watch the show, but his design is very cool, and the clips I've seen of him on youtube I vibe with🤭but Naruto being altruistic and adopting a poor orphan? Not fuckin likely at all, lol. Prey!Naruto wouldn't care about any kids but his own🤷🏽‍♀️so you're all set for sure, lol.

Parent-teacher conferences would be lit af😂imagine Naruto's big buff tatted up self sitting in one of those itty bitty chairs at a table lower than his knees while the teacher tries to get him to understand that it's not a good thing that his little girl is drawing her classmates with their heads somewhere other than on their shoulders🤣he would be so insulted and have a very scary diatribe about why Hima's work is "art" not a "red flag". The teacher would resign the next day by the time he was done. Omg birthdays🙈One word: Pinata. Take that as you will, lmao!

And omg, I wanna write Prey!Naruto at a PTA meeting, lmao! And you'd think Hinata was the one that dragged him to it, but NO, he'd go on his own because he's a super paranoid bastard that needs to know what is going on in his orbit and that includes his hellspawns, and if he doesn't like what he hears he'll have to retire a few folks to ensure things are being run for the benefit of his offspring😂

Hima's not doing a kiddy playdate, study date, pretend date, any date. Over somebody else's dead body would Naruto allow his baby girl to do any sorta dating🤣hell naw, and don't @ him about it. End of discussion. Why? Because Naruto knows how guys are, and considering the things he does to Hima's mother on a regular basis, he's dead set on not letting any guy near his daughter until she's at least 80 years old, if she's lucky. Teen!Hima good luck trying to date or get a boyfriend😅especially since big brother's not gonna be too keen on the idea either, lol. And thank you for the early birthday wishes!!💕

I feel like this SOL Prey!Naruto family is set in stone to be a thing at this point, lmao. I'm certainly sold on it. I won't say whether or not I plan on Hinata getting knocked up in Prey, ya'll will have to wait and find out but I definitely think this should be a full SOL fic at this point, lol. It's just too good to pass up🤭

[fluffer5]

How Protective Terrans Are

So... I might've dropped a few trauma bomb in my previous entries... but we won't further open those particular can of worms *smiles brightly while throwing the proverbial can at the traum-- ehem, garbage disposal*.

Anyways, this is my 5th entry to Humans Are Space Orcs! For today's human documentary, we're going to talk about what adult Terrans can and will do to you if you touch their young, family, close friends, pets, or special mementos given to them by a special someone (which doesn't have to be from a dead anybody or a romantic somebody). We all know people wouldn't hesitate to throw hands just to keep their people or stuff safe.

So, let's refer to my list, cuz it's easier to do lol. Again, I've used movies, series, podcasts, and a writer's angst-filled mind to type this. Should I warn the rest of you for further reading? I guess I should (I was so used to reading things without the warning that I'm sometimes confused of the TW tag on some stuff lol).

TW: Gore, violence, theoretical bodily harm even though I censored most of it, death, stabby people, bullying, the insanity train.

Kill the threat. Bit of an extreme one for the first thing to pop in my head, yes? But it is true. Wars were waged for lesser things. See this news article for one example: "Mom fatally shot home intruder to defend kids, she says". This one was published on August 18, 2022. In 2012, cuz I'm too lazy to search recent ones, there's another news articles featuring the same thing but focuses on a mother shooting an intruder to protect her 3-month-old baby. In 2015, an 11-year-old boy also shot an intruder trying to defend his 4-year-old sister from possible harm. I could go on and on about this but in countries where guns are not accessible, the next possible thing to use in defense would've been something sturdy and blunt or something extremely sharp. Actually, if we were in a time wherein tribes or kingdoms exist instead of cities, I can surely say that killing their young would definitely put you and your family in said people's sh*t list.

Fight the threat. Whether is be physically punching them on the face of the place where the sun doesn't shine, nobody cares as long as the deed of letting them know their place is done. Exhibit A that a lot of us know would be bullies ganging up on a younger sibling in school. We know that younger sibling are the proverbial pain in the *ss of older siblings. It's a love-hate relationship between them. But it's also an unsaid rule that only the older siblings can threaten or push around younger siblings. Anyone else touching them aside from the close family ties should be prepared to taste someone's fist. Or feet. Or the pavement. You get the gist of it. Though as long as the child in question can take care of the bullying on their own (which I did in my experience) then the parents or older sibling would gladly back off until the time they notice that things are going too far. Though, sadly, some kids prefer not to talk about their problems which leads to behavioral issues in the future, sorta trying to get attention from their elders but in a negative way.

Threaten the threat. I see this as the tamer version of protection actually lol. I don't know about other countries but in my country, the smart kids in school can threaten your life as a student. We have the usual bling-bling kids with the money and huzzah but they don't last long in the face of being a social pariah at school. They can throw money all they want but the smart kids wouldn't be threatened at all cuz they hold the key to higher GPA. Even the teachers complain about them nerds but action speaks loud and their compilation of evidence speaks louder lol. You'd be lucky if the nerd assigned to you has the patience of a saint cuz if not... well, I've had to stop fights from breaking out from simple arguments. Not just in school though. If you've got connection in higher places then that could also be a way to threaten someone (it does happen in real life so it isn't far-fetched). Though it is more effective to threaten the threat if you're in the same place as them. Another thing would be holding blackmail on said person (though that only works if they're not an immediate threat). If you have enough social influence, well, you can destroy their entire life without touching them even once.

Torture the threat. A friend says I'm too kind for ending their lives easily. Well, watching too many action and horror films prepared me for this part lol. I don't know which one would be done but interrogators have done the worst to get information from their victim. Too gory for this though and I don't know how many kids or emotional teens are in here so I have to censor a ton of the juicy details. Let's say it would be a bit similar to Saw, Jigsaw, and war interrogations. Chemicals, acids, peeled skin, salt, knives, and hammers might also be in place. Just know that it would be a bloody, unforgiving event that would take place in that particular room with that unfortunate victim.

Play the long game. Another said killing them quickly was... well... too quick XD. This one centers heavily on having money and patience. Know who the threat is, where they live, who they interact with, and what makes them tick. For this to work, you need to give up who you were before and settle on anonymity. This is... a bit more drastic than torture but works well if you have too much hate in your chest or the deed done was something you can never forgive. It's more on watching them physically suffer with their injury or doing the threatening on their family (gets messy very fast), but since this threat had amassed A LOT of enemies, they won't exactly know who did the evil deed on them. Shoot them on their legs, feet, and shoulder. Their spine if you're a good shot and know where to hit. Places that aren't close to their vital organs but would render them disabled. You'll let them live, but it will be a life of pain and agony.

Talk to the threat. The most peaceful type and probably the most boring out of this chaotic list > v <. This should be the first thing we do and not escalate to violence if some of us can help it. Again, your patience and wit will be tested here. If your threat is minor (like another child), then talking to their guardian would help with keeping the problem from going through a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes that doesn't work and the problem turns into an adult fight.

In summary, you have 2 kinds of Terrans. One would shoot before asking; the other would talk before shooting. Which is why you should never step on this particular deathworld if you were thinking about making Terran slaves or using our young in experimentation. We haven't given chase on aliens yet. Don't make yourselves the first intergalactic specie the Terrans would obliterate.

Meanwhile in a fast approaching spacecraft...

This alien reading this How To Deal With Terrans manual : Why did we want to go to this deathworld again?

Another alien turning yellow from anxiety : To befriend them and learn about the resident Terrans?

Yet another alien wilting as they feel faint from the information : Oh, thank the stars we won't be terrorizing them.

The alien commander whose frills are flaring in alarm as they read through the unredacted version of the manual : They will torture and skin us for taking their young and their pets?!

This particular scientist whose skins are changing colors in excitement : See? I told you their famous quote of "If predator not friend, why friend shape?" also applies to them!

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Thomas King and Monty Finch (Actor/Accidental Pretty Woman AU)

So Monty signs the fucking contract and takes the money. Shoves it under a loose floorboard in his apartment. And resolves not to think about it.

There's just one problem: Thomas comes back the next day, though this time he skips Monty's bar shift and heads directly for him at the pool tables. And he looks directly at Monty, that same crooked smile playing on his lips, leans in, and says, voice low, “I couldn't stop thinking about you. You really do fascinate me, Monty."

And fuck Monty, but it sends shivers down his spine, because last night proved that Thomas' fascination, even if it came with a fucking price, gave him possibly the best night that he's had in years.

And Monty should say no. He should turn Thomas down. He should say not again. He should ask are you really so lonely that you thought the only way I’d get on my knees was if you paid me?

But last night was good, and Monty's stuck in this dead end city with this dead end job and his fucking mother guilting him into everything and so what's the fucking harm in selling his soul to the devil, right, when the devil is that pretty and that good with his tongue?

-aletterinthenameofsanity, people think i'm pretty (so I'll sell my pride instead)

Do I wanna know?

If this feeling flows both ways?

Sad to see you go

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

Baby, we both know

That the nights were mainly made

For saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

How many secrets can you keep?

-Arctic Monkeys, Do I Wanna Know

Also ft. me trying not to burst at the seams talking about chapter 2 ( @anything-thats-rock-and-roll definitely has some thoughts on the matter)!

@nix-nihili @sapphic-corgi @ghostofthegallows

@icarus-n-flames @petvampire @sasakisyndrome

[asteria7fics]

I am absolutely in the mood to read an essay about Kyle's portrayal in fanwork 👀 i could read South Park analysis till the cows come home

Alright alright I’m ready to get into this haha.

A couple of things before I start, everything I’m about to say is just my opinion, yeah? I’m no expert, I just think that the way the fandom treats Kyle in a lot of circumstances is… questionable :)

Oookay, let’s GO!

So believe it or not, I don’t actually read a ton of fanfiction. I don’t really have time these days, and when I do I’m so painfully picky about the way certain characters are portrayed that it’s very hard for me to find fics I really vibe with. That being said, I see a lotta shit on this fine website.

Let’s get the obvious shit out of the way. I do not think Kyle should be the default bottom in ANY ship. If we wanna really get into it, my personal take is that this is a holdover from yaoi/fujoshi culture that is so painfully steeped in heteronormative bullshit of one person needing to be the ‘dominant’ and one needing to be the ‘submissive’ even outside of the context of kink. Essentially, one character has to be the ‘girl’ and one has to be the ‘boy’, even in a homosexual relationship.

I’ve blabbed about this before, but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about why I don’t think that Kyle should be the default ‘submissive’ in his relationships.

First of all, Kyle is just not submissive. At all. Or I should say, he isn’t often. I think the only context where he tends to submit is with his mother, and if you really want to sit here and defend your choice based on him having ‘mommy issues’, I guess you can technically say that.

Personally, I see Kyle as being very headstrong and, honestly kinda intense. While this hasn’t always been super consistent in his personality early on in the show’s run, it’s certainly has been now. I mean, he was willing to shoot at his friends’ moms in The End of Obesity because he believed so strongly in what he was doing, and why he was doing it. Kyle’s stubbornness and unwillingness to waver on his morals and values is a driving force for conflict in the show, like, all the fucking time, whether he’s correct (as in, the creators agree with his stance) or not.

I bring up his personality in the early run because I do think a lot of the issues I have with his characterization now comes more from early fandom portrayals than anything that’s actually currently supported by the source material. As an example, Kyle being the weakest physically of the main four makes a lot of sense in the context of those early seasons, but it doesn’t really work with his current characterization, if I’m being honest.

This isn’t to say I dislike him being sickly, mind you. I actually think that can be really compelling if Kyle has to grapple with the fact that his physical weakness is at odds with his mental strength.

Hoooowever, I think this has to be done in a really specific way, and this sorta brings me to my next point.

Why are we out here victimizing Kyle so damn much? Like, I get it, bad shit happens to him in the show (don’t talk to me about Humancentipad) but why are we just tormenting Kyle for seemingly no reason? Are we in the middle of a dead dove arms race?

I do think this ties back to this idea of Kyle being a default submissive, and I’ve certainly not always been kind to the kid in my own work but damn you guys are fucking mean to him. What did he ever do to you??

I suppose tormenting characters is sort of… par for the course in any fandom, but man I just don’t see the appeal of it being Kyle that’s getting the brunt of the abuse, especially when he ends up being reduced to a helpless, pathetic little thing. Like at that point just pick a different character, I mean Butters is right there you guys.

I’m not going to act like any one ship leans more or less into these tropes either, I think all sides of the fandom are guilty of disregarding a lot of what makes Kyle’s character compelling in the show. I will, however, take a moment to complain about some of the popular ships that Kyle is in.

Kyman: You know how I feel about these two. A stellar dynamic with so much problematic shit bubbling under the surface. Let’s disregard the inherent discomfort around an open anti-Semite and a Jewish person being together because… I willingly ignore that to ship Yentlman in my main works (rip self read). Even without that bit of their relationship, these two are just too goddamn similar. Both stubborn, both going to extreme lengths to prove the other wrong, OR enabling one another to do some pretty shitty things.

I think Post Covid did it best by showing how they BOTH bring out the worst in one another. While I enjoy these two platonically, I don’t personally enjoy romantic ships that are this toxic.

I’ve also expressed before that I think a fic lives and dies on how Cartman is written, so while this post is about Kyle’s depictions in fan works, I do think we have to consider the way the other half of a pair is written as well.

I got some really lovely tags on that one post I reblogged and word vomited all over that brought up how Cartman, supported by canon, is a severely traumatized individual, and how that can support a more sympathetic view of him (I’m not tagging the person in case they don’t want to be involved in discourse like this but I appreciate your insights and you made a very good point, if you are reading this).

This does, however, bring up a whole other host of issues with their dynamic. If we’re romanticizing the idea that Kyle is some kind of moral savior for Cartman then… man, idk. You guys are gonna have to help me on this one, is that common in the ship? Is Kyle playing therapist with Cartman, and that’s how we’re justifying sanitizing him?

Also, say it with me now, there is no way in sand hell that Kyle would let Cartman top him. I know, I’ve read it, and I can see where the idea is coming from but come on. Kyle is too prideful for that shit. Now if y’all start giving me Kyle topping Cartman and making him fucking beg for that hot Jew sploog then MAYBE I’d be able to get behind this ship.

Style: Oh you thought my preferred ship was safe? Haha no ma’am, because Style shippers are the fucking WORST when it comes to feminizing Kyle.

I respect the Style shippers that came before me with their football star Stan and pissbaby twink Kyle, I really do. However it’s time to move on. I made this point in a previous post (that I know you’ve seen my friend, much love for your support on my hot takes) but for those who didn’t see it, I really believe the thing that separates Kyman shippers from Style shippers is that Kyman shippers tend to treat Kyle like an equal to Cartman, while Style shippers really lean on Kyle being weaker than Stan to make their dynamics work.

What’s really funny to me is that what I think makes Style work in its best iterations is when they are truly treated as equals, because they absolutely should be.

Now I may sound like a hypocrite here because I know I play around with power dynamics in my Styles quite a bit, but I think I make it very clear that even when Kyle is technically bottoming, he is not necessarily submitting.

I also can give credit where credit is due, Kyman shippers do not shy away from how much of an asshole Kyle can be sometimes. Style shippers though? Man, I understand wanting to lean more on Kyle's positive traits (he IS a very empathetic, friendly, driven person that always wants to do the right thing) but he can become 'too good' very quickly when you don't balance those things out with his negative traits.

Kyle is pretentious. Kyle thinks he knows best even when he really doesn't. Kyle is quick to anger and sometimes cares TOO much, to the point of getting carried away and making things worse (rip to Canada).

The only negative trait Style shippers are pretty consistently on board with is him being hotheaded, which is fair! But also? To stay consistent with my current branding, that's like seasoning all of your food with just salt and pepper. Like sure, it adds flavor, but we all know the dish could taste so much better if you sprinkle on a little something more.

K2: I am... Utterly indifferent to this ship. Like, I've seen some cute fanart? But I've never partaken and it doesn't really interest me, sorry gang.

Cryle: Another ship I've never really partaken in, but that makes significantly less sense to me. It's giving crack ship, which is fine? But from what I have consumed a lot of people sort of approach them with all the worst aspects of both Kyman and Style. Craig is not as compelling as Cartman as a foil for Kyle, so when people do lean into the evil Craig headcanon that was common in early fandom, it seems they also lean into the pathetic, victim Kyle tropes that are common in Style works.

I'm sorry if y'all love this ship, I'd never really paid it any mind until recently and while I have read works that included them that I thoroughly enjoyed, I don't think I'll ever root for them to be endgame.

And if your favorite Kyle ship isn't here, sorry to say I don't know enough to speak on them (in fact I shouldn't have even brought up K2 for that reason, but I figured someone would probably mention it since it seems pretty popular).

Look, this is a mess and I am certainly not the authority on characterizing any of these goobers. But you asked, and I hope you enjoyed my silly little opinions. This is in no way meant to be constructive, but if you guys want something more organized and constructive breaking down how I characterize Kyle or any of the kids, you know where to ask!

[tennessoui]

I'm begging on my hands and knees for more Twilight au, and those are words I never thought I'd say! Anakin being able to resist compulsion, and Obi-Wan seeming instantly obsessed, and poor Shmi! Pretty please 🥺🙏

hey!! sure! here's some more!

(2.5k)

Having a sheriff for a mom sucked a lot when he was a kid growing up in a small town. There was probably nothing Anakin was rebelling against more at eleven, at thirteen, at seventeen than the rule of law his mother represented. 

All things considered, she was pretty good at separating her home life from her worklife. It was Anakin who was bad at respecting the separation, Anakin who couldn’t keep son out of delinquent.  There’s only so many times he could be pulled out of wreckage and bars and buildings with Keep Out No Trespassing signs on them before he got The Sheriff at home and out in public.

He’d hated it growing up and had come to grudgingly respect it later and in fits and starts. His dad dying had, terribly and ironically, helped a lot. His mother had had a stroke just before and then Anakin had been faced with the possibility of being an orphan, and the terror of that had mellowed him out.

Sorta.

He still hates a lot of things about his mother’s job. Especially the fact that she’s the sheriff of a very small town.

And when people talk, she listens.

The thing about small towns is that everyone’s always fucking talking. And other people are always fucking lsitening so they can talk later. One big fucking community, which means when Anakin comes home from his weird doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kenobi, a few hours later because he took a detour biking along the edge of the seaside cliffs just to spit in the good doctor’s metaphorical face, Shmi Skywalker already knows more than Anakin ever planned to tell her.

Like, for instance, “Sheila says that Dr. Kenobi thought it would behoove you to spend some time at the local library volunteering.”

Anakin pauses, backpack half-slung off his shoulders. He hangs his stuff up slowly, careful to keep his tone very light. “Did Sheila say what I told him after he said that?” 

His mom’s silence is very loud.

“I don’t want to do i—”

“I asked the new librarian about it on my way home from the station. She thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Apparently we used to have a program like that in the forties but it died out during the war.”

“Mom, come on—”

“It’ll look good on resumes, saying you created and supported a local reading program.”

“Yeah, but I’m a bit too old to be applying for babysitting positio—”

“It’ll look good for me as well,” Shmi says in her sheriff voice. “Elections are coming up soon. It’ll be good, if my kid was involved in the community.”

Anakin’s glad that his back is still turned to the living room, where his mom is sitting. “Are you gonna run again?” he asks, paying special attention to his tone this time.

“Why wouldn’t I?” his mom replies. “I’ve been sheriff for a decade and a half.”

Anakin lets his eyes fall closed for a second, knowing that his face can’t be seen. This is how they end up half the time: Shmi’s ardent belief that she is invincible, going up against Anakin’s desperate desire for her to be so.

And they just don’t talk about it. As if they’re actually in agreement.

He knows how this is going to shake out.

“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” His mother asks.

Anakin’s eyes remain closed. “I guess so,” he says.

—--------

Mrs. Kenobi—call me Satine—is sort of scary up close. She’s tall. She glides between bookshelves. Anakin’s never met someone who glides before. And she’s so intensely, incredibly, blindingly perfect that Anakin would rather be anywhere but in her vicinity. There’s something incredibly unnerving about the symmetry of her face, the sharpness of her cheekbones. She’s obviously an absolute knock-out, just drop-dead gorgeous, but it makes Anakin’s skin crawl and his heart beat fast, but not in a good way or a normal teenage boy way.

Anakin tries to keep the unease off his face as Satine leads him through a tour of the library, a gentle hand on his forearm. That’s another thing Anakin doesn’t really like. She’s wearing satin gloves. He doesn’t know anyone who wears gloves anymore.

It’s just all a bit…unsettling.

“I put in a few words around the school yesterday afternoon,” Satine tells him. They pass by the mystery section, the fantasy section, and take a hard right into the young adult section. The shelves are smaller here, and Anakin feels rather stupidly gigantic as he and Satine walk through them. “To some parents picking their children up after school. They agreed it would be good exposure to bring them to the library for an hour or so of reading before supper.”

Anakin highly doubts it will be, but Satine hasn’t really asked him.

She sweeps past his figure and pushes open a pair of double doors with a flourish better suited for a Russian tsarina hosting an elaborate ball than a small town librarian showing off a small, cramped, and dusty room filled with padded seats and threadbare rugs.

And then, as if she has been waiting to put the last nail in the proverbial coffin, Satine adds, “A few students from the local high school will be here as well.”

“Sorry,” Anakin says, “are you saying I’m going to be reading to high school students? Can’t they do that themselves?”

After all, Anakin went to high school here. Academics hadn’t been too rigorously challenging, but they’d taught the fucking basics.

Satine raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow in his direction. “They’ll be volunteering as well.”

Oh. Right.

“It looks good on their college applications,” Satine waves a hand through the air and the words linger there. Anakin looks out the rather dirty window, jaw clenching. “I’ve already chosen a handful of books I think the young ones will enjoy.”

Anakin, committed to his fate, pads over to the titles placed carefully ontop of a short, stout side table. 

“Peter the Rabbit,” he reads off the top. “Peter Pan. Alice in Wonderland. Treasure Island. The Prince and the Pauper—look, you’re the librarian here, but don’t you have anything written this century maybe? Harry Potter, even.”

“These are classics,” Satine tells him, her nose raised into the air as if she has encountered something particularly foul-smelling. She turns away, presumably to return to the front desk so she can welcome half the fucking town inside the library so Anakin can read them fucking Anne of Green Gables and become a better person.

“These are fucking boring,” he mutters to himself, flicking the cover of the first book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz open. Publication date: 1900. “I’d rather be in Kenobi’s office getting lectured at.”

There’s a sharp noise of disapproval from the doorway, and Anakin’s head snaps up to see the tail end of a very heated look from the librarian before the door closes behind her.

He shivers, alone in the emply room, and it takes several long minutes for his heart to settle back into its normal pace. 

—----------

After the fourth kid sneezes, Anakin closes his book with a snap and stands from the very small chair they’ve got him sitting on. “Come on,” he tells the cluster of children he’s been assigned to. “We’re getting out of here.”

“Are you kidnapping us?” One of them, a snot-nosed kid who’d started the sneezing says, rubbing at her cheek beneath her glasses. “Cause mommy says that’s not allowed.”

“I’m not kidnapping you,” Anakin snaps back, barely holding in his natural follow-up to the sentence which is of course, I don’t want to be around any of you in the first place. “Also, just for future reference, you shouldn’t ask if someone’s kidnapping you after you already start following them.”

The girl scowls and reaches up her hand to hold onto Anakin’s. 

For the love of Christ.

“We’re just going to go into the main part of the library,” Anakin tells his children, all six of them. “They have windows out there.”

They have windows out there and they also have parents. Parents who absolutely should be doing other things with their lives and precious hour of extra freetime.

Parents who are clustered instead around the library’s front desk as the town’s newest librarian holds court.

“Is reading time over?” one of the kids asks him, turning his head to look up at Anakin.

Anakin thinks about it. “Do you want reading time to be over?”

The kid thinks about it back. “Yeah,” he decides. “You don’t do the voices good.”

“It’s a boring book,” Anakin tells the kid. “Voices aren’t going to make it better.”

“Voices always make it better,” another kid says. “They make everything better.”

“Oh look,” Anakin says. “Is that your father?”

He gestures vaguely towards the cluster of drooling middle-aged somethings focused on Satine.

The kid peeks around his thigh and then shakes his head. “No,” he says. “That’s Dr. Obi.”

“Dr. Obi!” The kid holding Anakin’s hand says, and she lets go.

Anakin gets a bad feeling about this, a feeling that only doubles when he turns around to see Dr. Kenobi sauntering towards him, hands tucked into the pockets of a long dark jacket that makes him look even more pale than he already is.

He scowls automatically as the man gets closer. “Dr. Obi.”

Dr. Kenobi spares him a look that’s far too amused for Anakin’s pleasure before he crouches down to the level of the kids. “Hello there, young ones,” he says, opening his arms to accept a hug from the traitor of a girl Anakin’s just spent thirty minutes reading to. “Are you eating all your vegetables? Even the brussel sprouts?”

“I like brussel sprouts,” one of the kids reports sounding proud, and that starts a cacophony of opinions about brussel sprouts from all around Anakin.

“Wow! One of mine just absolutely hates them,” Dr. Kenobi says. “She refuses to eat them, so you’re very brave, Michele.” He lets go of the girl and turns his golden-brown gaze up to Anakin. “And what does Mr. Skywalker think?” he asks, raising a hand for Anakin to take. It’s very obvious he’s asking for a hand up and Anakin is obeying before he thinks about it. He snatches his hand free almost too soon, but Dr. Kenobi doesn’t even have the grace to lose his balance and fall over. 

His hand is like ice in Anakin’s, and Anakin stuffs his fingers into the pocket of his jacket automatically a second later.

“Do brussel sprouts help with circulation?” he’s biting out before he can stop himself. “Cause you may need some then.”

Kenobi’s head tilts very slightly to the side as his eyes catch and hold onto Anakin’s. “Oh?” he asks lightly. 

“You’re cold,” is all Anakin mutters in return. He swipes his other hand against the back of his neck. “”S poor circlutation, isn’t it? Something in your diet maybe?” Dr. Kenobi blinks at him and then breaks into a wide smile. “I can assure my diet is very…circulation-mindful,” he says. “Blood health positive.”

Anakin’s mouth thins into a line. He guesses that’s what he gets for trying to give health advice to a doctor, especially a doctor like Kenobi who just so happens to be devastatingly attractive and also smart.

And also an asshole. And also married.

Speaking of which. “Are you here to fend off your wife’s admirers with a scalpel?” Kenobi’s eyebrows raise. “Young ones,” he turns his head away from Anakin, down to the children.

The strangest feeling breaks of Anakin the second Kenobi looks away, almost as if a strange pressure he hadn’t even realized had been building was suddenly dissolved.

The very small beginnings of a headache begin to thrum in his temples.

“Young ones, it’s time to find your parents, isn’t it?” Kenobi says, and like fucking magic, the crowd of six children around Anakin disperse, children swarming away from him towards the group of adults surrounding the front desk.

“Can you teach me how to do that?” Anakin blurts out, even though he’d meant to ignore Kenobi now that he doesn’t have to make nice in front of small kids. Not that he was really making nice in the first place. But now he definitely doesn’t have to.

Kenobi gives him a half-smile, eyes heavy-lidded. “It’s a special sort of skill that takes, above all else, much practice.”

Anakin scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Does Kenobi think he can’t commit himself to something even as mundane as a fucking commanding persona? Does he think he doesn’t have it in him to be–-

Kenobi’s eyebrows go up again. “Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly defensive?” 

“You’re extremely nosey,” Anakin snaps back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have better things to focus on right now anyway?”

He gestures loosely towards Satine, who has started playing with one of the mother’s bracelets as the other woman stands and looks at her rather dumbfounded.

Kenobi follows his gaze and then lets out a huff of laughter. “Satine can take care of herself,” he says, even though it hadn’t really been Satine that Anakin was worried about.

He’s about to open his mouth to say so when Kenobi turns back to him. His eyes are piercing, a dark, captivating sort of gold. 

“Do you find my wife beautiful, Anakin?” he asks.

Anakin blinks. His headache is getting worse, which is probably down to what can only be a trick-question fashioned to look like a grenade lobbed at his feet. “I don’t think there’s a good answer to that,” he mutters, rubbing absently at his forehead. “What the fuck.”

“An honest answer is a good one,” Kenobi says lightly. “Tell me honestly.”

The words feel pulled from Anakin’s stomach, and he’s opening his mouth before he realizes it. “No,” he says. 

Kenobi’s eyebrows crinkle together. “No?”

Anakin curses his stupid impulse control. “She’s beautiful,” he adds quickly. “Really. But…it makes me uncomfortable.”

Kenobi’s lips purse, and then there’s something like disappointment in his eyes as he examines Anakin. “Ah yes,” he murmurs. “I’ve been told my wife can make countless young men feel rather uncomfortable. It’s normal in men your age, Anakin. Sexual ar—”

“Uncanny,” Anakin blurts out. He doesn’t mean to, but he also doesn’t want to listen to  Kenobi trying to lecture him on fucking arousal in the public library. When it’s not even relevant. “She’s so beautiful, it’s uncanny.”

“Uncanny.”

“Yeah, like. Monstrous.”

Kenobi’s mouth falls open, pink lips parted in what looks like honest surprise.

Anakin’s own eyes widen as it hits him that he’s just called Kenobi’s wife a monster to Kenobi’s face.

“Shit,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m going to go.” 

He throws a look at Kenobi, whose eyes are lit with something a lot like interest and then across the library to where Satine’s head is turned, cocked, and eyebrows up high on her forehead, as if she’s just heard everything he’s said.

He decides rather immediately that he’s going to take the backdoor exit.