Heyyy, I saw you wrote for Oscar Piastri and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind writing a Oscar x youngest child reader. Went they go to meet her family and he hasn't heard the best things about them. Like her sister is constantly overlooking every achievement ever and it's like her mother doesn't even care about her unless she wants something and the dad isn't in the picture. And after years she just finally breaks down and Oscar comforts her.
you are the only exception 𖦹 OP81
PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader
SUMMARY: you came to a realization that with your bad relationship with your family, your only strong relationship is with oscar.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: hello! thank you so much for your request. i hope this one is up to your standards, i had also taken a creative liberty to add some details. the confrontation part (between reader and mother) might be a little bit triggering that i had intended it to be for some, so just read with a little discretion. nonetheless, i hope you’ll enjoy this one! :)
REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.
WORD COUNT: 2.3k
WARNINGS: not proofread, typos, youngest daughter syndrome, physical assault (slapping), verbal sparring, dysfunctional family, no father figure, youngest daughter rage, no use of y/n, and cursing.
You and Oscar stood outside the front door of the house you once had called home. It had been a year since you last had last visited, and the thought of just stepping inside made your stomach twist into knots. You glanced at Oscar, his soft smile of encouragement giving you a moment of calm amidst the growing storm inside your mind. He hadn’t pressed you to meet your family, but you knew it had been on his mind ever since your relationship had become serious.
“They’re your family,” he said gently when you brought up the idea weeks ago. “If you want to introduce me, I’ll be there for you.”
But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Your family had never felt like a real family at all, not like the warmth and care that Oscar had been surrounded by all his life. You had always felt overlooked, unimportant, invisible—like you were just a ghost in the background of your family’s lives. As you hesitated, Oscar’s hand slipped into yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, but even Oscar couldn’t hide the flicker of doubt in his eyes. He had heard enough to know this wouldn’t be easy.
You took a deep breath before knocking. The door swung open, revealing your mother, looking at you up and down, her face was a blank canvas of indifference, before her eyes flicked to Oscar. Her expression immediately softened as she extended her arms, ignoring you completely as she greeted him.
“Oscar, darling, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” You felt the sting immediately, but you forced a smile as Oscar shook her hand politely. “Nice to meet you too, Mrs.—”
“Mom,” she corrected, cutting him off and pulling him into a hug. “Just call me mom.” You bit your lip, suppressing the urge to say something, but Oscar gave you a subtle glance that told you he noticed.
You then saw your sisters lounging in the living room, their eyes didn’t light up when they saw you. You just forced a smile and stepped inside, with Oscar following close behind. Introductions were made, your sisters and mother exchanged pleasantries with Oscar, and even though they were polite, it was as if you weren’t even in the room. Your achievements, the life you had built outside of this house, were all glossed over or ignored completely. Every time you tried to share something about what you were proud of, they either changed the subject or dismissed it with a half-hearted compliment.
Oscar’s brow furrowed slightly, his hand never leaving yours as the conversation carried on. You could tell that he was beginning to understand what you had meant all along. When your mother finally acknowledged you, it was only to ask another favor, something she needed, something she always needed but never seemed to return. There was completely no warmth in her words, no care, just expectations. It didn’t help at the fact that your father wasn’t there—he hadn’t been in the picture for a long time. You’d long since accepted that, but it still hurts, the unspoken absence lingering in the air like a heavy cloud.
As the hours dragged on, Oscar noticed everything. The way that your sisters praised each other’s accomplishments while overlooking yours, the way your mother seemed to care more about what you could do for her than who you were. It was suffocating, but you bit your tongue. You were here out of formality, after all. You wanted them to properly meet Oscar because he’s a part of your life now, and as much as you hated to admit it, they were still your family.
During the dinner, while the whole table’s chatter had subsided, Oscar decided to excuse himself to the restroom, and the room seemed to grow colder the moment he left. You just sat there, tension building in your chest, and finally, something inside of you had snapped.
“I’ve had enough,” you said, your voice steady, though your hands trembled. Your sisters glanced at you, clearly taken aback. “Why do you always do that? Why do you always fucking act like nothing I do matters? You act like I don’t exist unless you need something from me. You’ve never cared about what I’ve done or how far I’ve come, like I’m some kind of afterthought to you all. I’m done pretending that it’s okay!”
Your mother’s face hardened. “Watch your tone.”
Your sisters glanced at each other, their expressions indifferent. “Oh, here we go again,” one of them sighed, “you’re always so dramatic, good god!”
“Dramatic?” You repeated, incredulous. “You’ve never acknowledged a single thing I’ve done. Every time I decided to visit, it’s always the same fucking thing, treating me like I’m invisible unless you want something from me!”
“Maybe if you weren’t so sensitive, it wouldn’t bother you,” your mother chimed in, her voice cold. “You have always been the one to leave us. Don’t act like you’re the victim here.”
You stood up, fists clenched at your sides. “I left because this place was and still is fucking suffocating! Because I couldn’t fucking stand the way you all made me feel. Like I wasn’t good enough, like I didn’t belong here at all!”
Your sisters rolled their eyes, but your mother stood as well, her face was now twisted in irritation. “You think you’re the only one who’s had it hard? We’re your family, and if you don’t like how things are, maybe you’re the problem!”
“No,” you shot back. “You just can’t handle the fucking truth, can you? You’ve all treated me like a shit for as long as I can remember, and maybe that’s why dad left! Maybe he couldn’t stand being around this shit ass family—or being just around you!” You pointed at your mother angrily.
The words hung in the air like a slap, and it wasn’t long before your mother’s hand followed suit, striking your cheek with a force that left your skin stinging and with a glaring red hand imprint. You didn’t flinch, instead, you stood your ground, the sharp pain doing little to shake your resolve.
“You don’t get to fucking hit me just because you can’t handle what I’m saying,” you said, your voice firm but calm. “You lost any right to call yourself my family a long time ago.”
Before anyone could respond, Oscar re-entered the dining room, his eyes immediately locking onto yours. He saw the tension, the redness in your cheek, and without hesitation, he crossed the room, gently taking your hand.
“Let’s go,” he said softly, his voice steady but filled with concern. You didn’t need to argue, you didn’t want to stay a second longer. With Oscar’s hand in yours, you turned and left, the door closing on a chapter of your life that should have ended long ago.
Stepping outside into the fresh air, the weight that had been suffocating you inside began to dissipate. You felt really good after airing everything out in the open, of course you hadn’t expected your mother’s slap, but you don’t care, it was about fucking time. Oscar didn’t say anything for a while, just held your hand, offering you the comfort you didn’t realize you needed until now. Finally, when you were both at a safe distance from the house, he stopped walking and turned to you.
“Are you okay?” He asked, voice full of concern. His fingers brushed against your check, where the redness from the slap still lingered.
You nodded, but your eyes were full of unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Osc,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I didn’t want you to witness all of that. I didn’t even want you to meet them.”
He pulled you into his arms, holding you close. “Don't apologize,” he murmured against your hair. “You don’t ever have to apologize for them. That wasn’t your fault.”
You stayed in his embrace for what felt like forever, the world around you fading away until it was just the two of you. For the first time all day, you felt like you could breathe again.
“They don’t define you,” Oscar whispered. “You’re not them. You’ve built something incredible on your own, and you don’t need their validation for that.”
A few tears slipped down your cheeks, but quickly wiped it off. They weren’t just from sadness, they were also from the overwhelming sense of relief that you didn’t have to face any of this alone anymore. Oscar had seen the worst of your past, and instead of turning away, he was still here, holding you tighter than ever.
“I love you,” he said quietly, his words wrapping around you like a blanket of safety. “And nothing they do will ever change that.”
You looked up at him, his kind eyes filled with nothing but understanding, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you belonged somewhere—right there, in his arms.
The moment you were already back at the hotel room, the weight of the day finally crashed down on your shoulders. You just stood there, motionless, while Oscar set down his things. The silence between the two of you was deafening, it felt like the walls were closing in. The dam you had been holding back for years was breaking, and no matter how much you tried to push it down, it was already too late.
You sank into the edge of the bed, face in your hands as everything you had bottled up started to spill out. At first, it was quiet—just a shaky breath, but soon enough, the sobs came in waves, unstoppable, painful, years of frustration and hurt pouring out of you all at once. All the pain of never being enough, of always being overlooked, hits you like a train.
“I’m sorry,” you choked out between sobs, not even sure if Oscar could understand you. “I’m so so sorry…I shouldn’t have made you go there. I shouldn’t have let you meet them.”
Oscar was at your side in an instant, pulling you into his arms as if shielding you from the flood of emotions that overwhelmed you. He didn’t say anything right away, just held you as you cried into his chest, his hand gently running up and down your back. The steady rhythm of his touch was the only thing keeping you tethered to the present, but the storm inside of you was relentless.
“I thought—” you gasped, the words barely making it out between your sobs. “I thought they might have changed…that maybe they’d see me for who I am now. But they didn’t. They never will. I don’t know why I thought it would be any different.”
Oscar pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes filled with concern and understanding. “Hey. Hey, stop,” he said gently, brushing a tear from your cheek. “This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. You don’t have to apologize for them, not to me.”
You shook your head, guilt pressing down on you. “But how they treated you, it wasn’t right. They didn’t even care that you were there. They didn’t care about anything except what they wanted from me, and I made you go through all of that…I’m sorry,”
Oscar’s grip on you tightened, his voice soft but firm. “You don’t have to apologize for them,” he repeated, his tone more serious now. “They’re the ones who should be sorry, not you. You’ve done nothing wrong. I went because I wanted to be there for you, no matter how it all turned out.”
You sniffed, wiping at your tear-streaked face, though it did a little to stop the flood. “But it’s so embarrassing,” you mumbled. “Your family’s so good, supportive, and mine…mine’s a total mess. Dysfunctional, even. I didn’t want you to see that, I didn’t want you to see where I came from.”
Oscar cupped your face gently, forcing you to look at him. “It doesn’t matter where you came from, I couldn’t care less,” he said quietly, his eyes searching for yours. “What matters is who you are, and you are nothing like them. You’ve built your own life, your own path, and that’s what I love about you. I don’t care about your family’s mistakes. I care about you.”
Your chest tightened again, but this time, it wasn’t from the pain of your family’s rejection. It was from the overwhelming feeling of being seen, truly seen, by someone who didn’t judge you for the past you couldn’t control. Oscar’s words wrapped around you like a protective shield, and you leaned into him, your tears slowing but your emotions still raw.
“I just wanted them to care,” you whispered, the last of your defenses breaking. “I wanted them to be proud of me, I don’t ask that much from them. I just…I just wanted to feel like I mattered to them.”
Oscar’s arms tightened around you again, pulling you close until your forehead rested against his. “You matter,” he said softly, his breath warm against your skin. “You matter to me. More than you’ll ever know.”
You took a shaky breath, your hands clutching onto his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you grounded. “Thank you,” you whispered, voice barely audible.
He kissed your forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. “You never have to thank me for caring about you. I love you, and I’m here, no matter what.”
The sincerity in his voice broke through the last of the walls you had built around yourself. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt like you could finally breathe. You nodded, the tension in your chest finally easing as you rested your head against his shoulder, letting the warmth of his embrace wash over you.
You weren’t sure of what the future held, or if your family would ever change, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. None of it mattered at all. You had Oscar, and that was enough.
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Cool for the Summer 4
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power dynamics, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: After finishing your degree, you return home only to find things aren’t as you left them.
Characters: Bucky Barnes
Note: baby girls, he we go.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
You rinse out the bowl you used for your oatmeal. It’s only as the back door opens that you notice the roar of the mower’s stopped. You put the porcelain in the dishwasher and shut it as you hear footsteps down the hall. It’s almost ten o’clock.
“Hey, baby girl,” Bucky greets your back as he enters. “I just put fresh water in the hot tub. Might go for a soak myself, try to loosen up these muscles.”
You face him, “hot tub?”
“Oh, yeah. Guess that’s new too.” He chuckles. “Another one of my projects.”
“Right,” you nod. A sudden buzz makes your jump.
You look around and scurry across the kitchen to grab your phone. It’s a message from your mom. But why would she text you? Can’t she just come downstairs?
‘Is Bucky still there?’
You stare at the message and frown. Huh?
“Everything okay, doll?” Bucky asks. Your eyes flick up.
“Um, yeah, erm, it’s my mom...” you shake your head.
“Right, how’s work going for her?” He plants a hand on the counter and leans.
“Work? It’s her day off,” you blink.
“Ah, yeah, she said she didn’t want to wake you up when she left. She got called in. Emergency.” He explains.
You clutch the phone as you stare at him dumbly. Why didn’t he mention that earlier? Well, it’s not on him, you could have checked. But if she’s gone, why is he still here?
“Don’t spoil the surprise,” he says, “about the lawn.”
“I won’t,” you look down and text her back.
“So how about it? You up for a soak?” He asks again.
“Um, I’ll think about it. Just gonna chat with my mom,” you waggle your phone at him and meander to the door.
‘Great. You two can get to know each other.’
Her answer is disappointing. You thought she’d be surprised, maybe confused. It’s all perfectly normal to them. You’re still adjusting. If she’d told you before you got there, it wouldn’t feel so strange.
At the same time, you don’t want to let her down. You can’t just ignore her message. You have to try but you feel like you haven’t even had time to settle in. And he’s not the only thing that’s different. Your room doesn’t even feel like yours.
You stand at the bottom of the stairs. You key in a final reply. ‘Ok’. That’s it. A tepid agreement.
“Hey,” Bucky surprises you again. “Invitation stands,” he wipes his forehead, his bicep bulging as he does, the muscles of his chest straining. “I’m just going to get in my trunks.”
“Uh, I... I’ll think about it,” you make yourself take a step up and climb steadily, refusing to look back.
You stare at the phone. You don’t want to be rude. You’re sure there’s a reasonable explanation for why your mother didn’t mention him. You might do the same in her shoes. After so long being single, she was probably just letting it pan out.
Still, she could have said something when you were on the train.
Whatever. It’s not your place to complain. You’re still living under her roof, rent-free, after years of tuition on her dime and a lifetime of dependency. You can pretend like this is all okay.
You go into your room and shut the door behind you. You wouldn’t have a swim suit in the dresser, you didn’t bother to pack it for college. Wherever your other clothes are, it should be there. You just don’t know where that is.
A tank top and shorts should do the trick. You prefer that to an actual swimsuit. It won’t feel so revealing.
You take out a hot pink spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of black shorts. You switch out your clothes, catching your foot in the shorts and tripping slightly. You stand up, shirtless, leaning on the vanity as you get your balance.
You glimpse your reflection and shy away. You tie the string of the shorts and reach for the tank top. You pull it over your head and check yourself in the mirror. It will do. You hope.
As you come out of the room, another door opens. You peer down the hall as Bucky emerges from your mother’s room. You gulp and flick your eyes away from him. He wears a pair of light blue shorts, so short you might mistake them for briefs. His thick thighs and torso flex with his movement as he approaches, a towel over his shoulder.
“You changed your mind?” He asks as he comes closer.
“Erm, well, I... I’ll give it a try. I’ve never really been in a hot tub, so...” You poke your fingertips together nervously. You don’t want to tell him your mother told you to be social.
“Great, kinda feel like a loser sitting in there by myself. It’s really too bad your mom had to go in.” He sighs.
Yeah, it is. You wonder why he didn’t mention it sooner. Or why he’s hanging around. You guess you don’t really know how things work around here anymore.
“Don’t forget a towel,” he winks as he pats the one on his shoulder. “I’ll go get the cover off and you can come hop on in.”
He brushes by you, his knuckle glancing off you as he does. You shuffle down to the linen closet and take out a towel. You don’t follow him right away.
Your stomach is a flurry of nerves. It’s just the oatmeal. It always sits like a lump. You didn’t think about that, you were just hungry.
You go downstairs and drag your feet to the back door. You come out onto the deck and peer around. The tub sits in the deck, installed where the table used to be. It steams as Bucky steps into it. He sighs and groans, muscles clenching up his back and sides. He must work out a lot.
You look down at yourself. Self-consciousness creeps over you. It’s been a while since you thought so much about it. You tried not to focus much on your body; as long as you liked what you’re wearing, you don’t worry about what’s underneath. You don’t have the most extravagant taste but you have a few cute pieces.
He lowers himself into the water and lets out another drone. He shifts around to face you but doesn’t seem to notice you as he closes his eyes and leans his head back. He takes a deep breath so his chest puffs out.
You set your towel next to his on the small table near the edge. You near and stand at the lip of the tub. Can you just sneak away?
“Hey,” his voice rolls over the bubbling water, “it’s not bad. Come on. It feels great. It’ll loosen you right up.”
You nod and bite your lip. You get down on your butt before you ease yourself down onto the seat of the tub. The water steams and spits just beneath your shoulders. It is nice though it does raise a thick sheen across your forehead.
“Mmm, trust me, when you’re mine age, you’ll need one of these,” he smirks. “So,” he stretches his arms around the frame of the tub, “what’s the plan, doll?’
“The plan?” You flap your lashes.
“For the summer? Beach days with the girls? You wanna invite some friends over? You can have the tub to yourself,” he offers.
“Mm, no, I... I’m looking for work. Uh, probably send out more applications.” You shrug.
“Looking for a job? Ah, right, no more school, huh? Exciting. You got the whole world in front of you.”
“Mhm, yeah,” you reach to rub your neck.
“I’m sure you’ll still have time to hang out with your friends,” he insists.
“Uh, I don’t... I don’t really have any,” you utter. You look away and stare at the fence.
“No? Well, all my buddies are too busy for me. I know how you feel.” He says, “you know, we could be friends.”
“Um, yeah, maybe,” you look at him again as you chew your lip. His eyes snap up from your chest. You look down and try not to show your horror. Your nipples are entirely visible as the pink fabric clings to you. You cross your arms. “You’ll be busy with my mom.”
“Not all the time,” he says “You know, ever since she got this promotion, she’s been too busy for me.”
“Ah, erm, I'm sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” He asks.
You shake your head, “I don’t know...”
“Mm, I know why,” he tilts his head.
You stare at him in confusion.
“You know a guy like me shouldn’t be kept waiting around. You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you? You can’t help but feel bad knowing I’m left all on my own. Lonely.” He traces a finger along the edge of the tub as he speaks.
“I... guess. I don’t... know? I just...” You look away again. You can hardly stand the heat of the water as it boils your blood.
He snickers and you wince as he shifts around the tub, sliding into the seat next to you. He slips his arm behind you as he does. You shrink down and stare at the deck railing. What is he doing?
“This is nice, isn’t it? Getting to know each other?” His fingers tickle your shoulder as he crowds you. “You know, seems like we have a lot in common, doesn’t it?”
“Um, erm,” you squirm in the seat. “I think... maybe... I should...”
“Relax, it won’t do you any good if you don’t relax,” he girds. “I’m just saying, baby girl, seems like we’re both pretty lonely.”
He leans back into the hot tub and lets his head fall back. You bend your arm, rubbing your other, and fidget. You want to just go but you’re scared to move. You don’t think you’re really afraid of him, he probably won’t stop you, but you’re just all locked up.
You sit there, staring through the slats at the green lawn. The water babbles and your ears pulse. He continues to caress your shoulder.
“Mm, baby girl, come on, just let yourself...” he taps your arm, “lean back, huh?”
You obey. You lean back into the tub and slide down in the seat, trying to mimic him. Your head hits his arm as you recline. It is nice as the jets shoot up your back.
“Wait, wait, you gotta get in the right...” he grabs your thigh and drags you towards him. “..place. Make sure you hit all the pressure points.”
As he moves you, you spasm and cry out in surprise. A jet blows right against your shorts, a stream of water that sends tingles through you. You try to move back but he holds you in place. He squeezes your thigh and kneads.
“Ah, yeah, baby girl, right there? Doesn’t it feel good?”
You squeak as the water hits your clit through your thin shorts. You put your hand on his and wiggle. That only makes it more intense. Does he know what’s happening?
“Please...” you gasp.
“What did I say? Relax,” he continues to rub his fingertips into your thigh. “You’re all tense, baby girl. Let it go.”
Your eyes round and you contort, trying to take the pressure off your clit. It doesn’t help. You puff out and grab onto his arm without thinking. He needs to let go. You can feel a throbbing inside of you. It hurts. Please, stop.
The sensation crests and coils through you. Your muscles clench then release all at once. You squeal in shock and shame as your body twitches. You think you just... orgasmed?
“Baby girl, what is it?” Bucky leans into you.
“I...” you heave. “I-- nothing.”
“Mmm, nothing?” His hand crawls up your leg and over your stomach. He twists and bends his arm, cradling your head and turning you to face him. You shiver as he cups your chest through the wet fabric and runs his thumb over the hard bud beneath. “Cause I think you just came in this nice clean water.” He leans in closer until you feel his breath against your lips, “baby girl, I thought you were going to be good for me?”
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How shifting finds us at the right time! + Me before and after shifting.
TW!!!! Mention of su!c!de, family issues, depression, fucked up mental health! And lots of yapping!
@a-fish-learningtowalk
Let’s go back all the way to 2022. At the start of the year I found out about subliminals, so basically I was scrolling through YouTube and there was this video that popped up every time I refreshed my home page. It was something like “Glow up in a day��� ,the thumbnail was a pretty girl and the video was like 1 minute and something long so I was like “why are they capping, glow up in a day and the literal video is 1 minute long??! What a sick joke” but out of curiosity I clicked it and then I was welcomed with MUSIC and then I was like “hah! I knew they were capping, this is just music!” But I went to the comment section and there were literally people saying
“Omg this is a masterpiece! My mom came to my room and told me how pretty I look”
Then someone was also like “this literally gave me results in a week.
Edit: A GIRL TOLD ME IN SCHOOL HOW PRETTY I LOOK!!!”
Those were the comments that I still remember cause they confused me the most. After that I was just like ???tf? But when I went to the description I saw a term “sub” few times and then there was used the term “subliminal” so I just assumed that the term sub was just short for subliminal.
I went and searched what the fuck did I just see aka I just searched what is subliminal. There was this woman in a video that explained it and at first i obviously was like “what the fuck? This is so cool and too good to be true” cause babe wdym I can listen to an audio that can change my appearance and all of that stuff.
Well that’s how I just viewed it to be which isn’t exactly the case.
I listened to some subs for the rest of the night but I was just so disappointed when I woke up the next day and saw no results and just immediately guessed that this was just plain cap. And after that I stopped listening to subliminal but the craziest part was like I totally forgot they existed like after that. (I will tell more later!)
Summer 2022
At this time I got into my k-pop phase I was constantly daydreaming of my group and how I wanted it to be, literally imagining scenarios throughout the day and I literally wrote in Pinterest “K-pop idol scenarios”💀 I was deadass.
Then in one scroll I found a bunch of scenarios from TikTok, (they were just screenshotted and put into Pinterest.) it was like “scenarios for your K-pop Dr” at first I was like tf is a Dr? But I just decided to ignore it and move on and just read the scenarios cause they were good but that Dr term continued to pop in every picture I saw and then I truly got curious. To which resulted in me searching what is a Dr? Google said it’s a short for desired reality, and I just assumed sum stupid shit.
Anyways 2022 came to an end. And I TOTALLY forgot about subliminals and K-pop idol scenarios and tf is a Dr. like I’m not joking I totally forgot those existed.
2023 start.
The year I turned 18, yippeee!! So the start of the year was somewhat ok, few months later I started getting problems with my parents. Arguments with my parents, especially dad increased like A LOT. My parents started to get mad at some stupid stuff, their temper was just like shit. School started pressuring and at that period I had A LOT of exams (I still do but 👀) I didn’t have time for myself and I also got sick a lot. And few months passed in this environment and at some point I just admitted that I feel anxious, stressed, suffocated and depressed. Then I got told that my aunt is suffering from this sickness and she needs to do surgery but they had financial issues and the surgery got postponed a lot due to the money missing and that didn’t help my aunt’s health at all. and bro feeling shitty isn’t a surprise at this point. At some stage I decided if this is the life I’m going to live, I don’t want to live at all. I was very su!c!dal, and I attempted like two times but luckily didn’t do it.
2023 summer
One subliminal popped into my YouTube page again, it was something like “goddess like beauty, confidence and a better self concept” thing I’m not sure and then I was like “oh right! These things exist!” And I just listened to it for fun and surprisingly I felt better in few days. And those were few of the best days in the last 6 months of my life. I started actively listening to subliminals and actively affirming. I’m talking about every morning and every night before I go to sleep at least for 30 minutes. And then dududuudud
I found a subliminal about reality shifting and then I again was like “wait? This is that reality traveling thing, how can I forget this?” And I actually asked myself why didn’t I try it before? The summer my journey was honestly mostly jokes and fun, didn’t take it seriously and just did it for the excitement it gave me. But about 2023 fall I actively started scripting and took the journey a bit more seriously than before.
2024 fall. Now.
I still got a lot to improve and a mindset to work on. But I’m just happy of where I am now. I found a reason to live for and like a dark tunnel where at the end you find the light. Shifting brought me hope and genuine peace knowing something like this exists. My aunt did the surgery and she is healing little by little but at least she can practice her normal day life,she still got some checks here and there but nothing compared to what she was in before. I seriously stopped listening to anti shifter since they are just trying to demotivate y’all and me too. If I haven’t found out about shifting I don’t think I would still be here. Shifting seriously finds us at the time we need it the most!
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Addicted Heroin (Th) Cut Scenes and Colors - Episode 7
I'm reporting on the missing scenes from YouTube's version of Addicted Heroin [episode: one, two, three, four, five, six], and strangely, episode seven only had two cut scenes, which means the chaos we are witnessing between these two color-coded boys in love is not due to missing scenes, but just editing in general. -_-
First cut scene:
So after Green Guy Pop opens the door to (lying) Pink Person Palin, we know he is disappointed because he has blue written over his heart, and all the colors point to the conclusion that he wanted Blue Boy Hero to show up instead.
But after checking that Hero is not at the door (after Palin LIED!), he comes back into the room to Palin making herself very comfy on the bed after telling him that Tiger snitched on him (WHY CAN'T HE BE QUIET?!). She also tells Pop she'll be staying since it's so late, so he says he'll sleep on the floor. She says he must sleep in the bed, with her.
She then takes off her towel saying it's itchy (which, if Together With Me taught me anything, it's that "itchy" is code for horny) and tells Pop that only she understands him, she is best for him, and he can easily cover up his bruise with BB cream if he really wanted to be at home instead of the hotel with her, which is what we see him do in the next scene when he goes home.
Second cut scene:
After Green Guy Pop gets out of the very blue hospital, he immediately sits down with Palin to discuss her true colors.
He knows she's not only faking her pink color, but also lying about the story because even though she appears to be happy and in love,
She is scheming!
Therefore, Pop told the police to drop the case since she planned it all herself.
She says that it's not fair that he is picking Hero over her, which Pop tells her that Hero has nothing to do with this (the background colors say otherwise), and the reason they can't be together is because she does bad things because of him and she is rich. Palin questions the rich part (not the doing bad things part) because Hero is rich too, so she wants to know if it's just because she is a rich girl and not a rich boy.
Pop tells her it boils down to her staging the kidnapping, and we are right back where we started, so he tells her he is not going to school with her abroad, but he hopes she finds happiness. She says she still loves him.
Then, he goes home to his family only to hear his mom speak badly of Hero too, and that's it on cut scenes!
soooooo . . . . .
Personally, the pacing of the show has felt strange the past two episodes, and I think it's because of this.
Not the corny socks, but what they imply because the colors heavily imply it as well.
We KNOW the boys are together because they hold hands while using their color-coded water guns.
They live together in their color-coded bliss with color-coded pens, sticky notes, and accessories.
And they wear each others colors even when they are upset at each other.
So it's obvious they are in love.
But it's even more obvious that they are having sex . . .
Like, all the time.
The dad holding up the green underwear and scrubbing them . . .
Hero washing the socks with their color-coded baskets . . .
Hero helping Pop go to the bathroom . . .
So even though I know why we aren't even seeing kisses (the actor's age), it's odd how we have to fill in a lot of the blanks about Hero x Pop's level of intimacy because we can't see any of it.
It is ironic that we went from a censored Chinese BL to a different type of censored Thai BL.
But that's just me! Let me eat my snacks and enjoy the chaos.
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I have a request for HC's for Pittrap. Here's the scenario, he's come out of the pit and starts following a certain little girl, lets say she's like 5-6 years old. Girl has no idea the yellow bunny rabbit isn't supposed to be there, thinks it's her father who passed away before the girl was born, comes home to their house which isn't too far from Jeff's since the preschool let her walk home. Later (Reader) comes home who is a single mom and a schoolteacher for high school or something. She sees the rabbit and is actually seeing the rabbit, flips out, child insists it's her dad, mom knows he passed away. So teacher mom (reader) reacting to this scenario, she needs someone to keep an eye on her little girl, but at the same time like Oh crap giant bunny man appears what do I do and my child insists that this is her dad? Maybe they fall in love since he's actually a good rabbit dude and treats her(reader) well too. Also happy birthday once again!
Pittrap is a favorite to write for :) I kept the basics of the idea here- reader is a parent, reader has a kid, reader’s kid brings back the rabbit.
—
🐰|You’ve gotten used to, every once in a while, your kid bringing in an animal. Usually something small—like a bird.|🎾🕳
🐰|And today, it seems that your daughter brought something else inside, which normally wouldn’t be a problem...|🎾🕳
🐰|If not for the fact that what your daughter brought in was a tall, yellow rabbit animatronic, chilling in your living room.|🎾🕳
—
“Alright, what’s-“ As you lifted your head up, the remaining words immediately became trapped within your throat.
There, in your living room, was your daughter. Except, she wasn’t alone... that was easy to see.
She was sitting on the lap of a large, fuzzy thing—it resembled a rabbit, and it’s fur was yellow. It seemed somewhat metallic.
The main TV was on, and it seemed like your daughter had been in the middle of watching her favorite show with the rabbit thing.
Except, when you entered, her attention was pulled away towards you. So was the rabbit’s.
While your daughter cheerfully called you over, the rabbit waved.
—
🐰|The situation was already strange enough, and you certainly weren’t calm—you didn’t know why she was.|🎾🕳
🐰|Then, your kid just goes and calls the rabbit “dad”, and makes you even more confused—especially with her little explanation.|🎾🕳
🐰|One of the first things you do is take her, head to a neighbor, and bring them back—all while the rabbit watches this occur in confusion.|🎾🕳
🐰|You’re hoping that your neighbor could do... something, but to your surprise, they see no rabbit creature at all.|🎾🕳
—
When you’d finished with the chore, you’d returned to the living room, expecting to still see her sitting in there.
...Except, she wasn’t. She was nowhere in sight. Neither was the rabbit. And you could feel fear beginning to bubble up.
A distant noise caught your attention, and you whirled your head around. You couldn’t tell what it exactly was—it was far too muffled.
Yet, you had a good idea on where the source was coming from. Her room.
It didn’t take you very long to reach the bedroom, and you swung the door open. The light was off.
Stepping inside, the strange noise was louder. It almost sounded like... humming? Humming, that of which belonged to an old lullaby.
It came off as rather distorted, though. In the darkness, you stared ahead. The rabbit was kneeling beside your daughter’s bed.
It... was singing to her? And by the looks of it, by the fact that she seemed to be asleep, it was working?
“What?!” You threw your arms up, unsure of what to think about the situation.
The rabbit’s head turned, and the humming ceased. Facing you, he lifted a finger, and pressed it against his mouth.
—
🐰|In a matter of a few hours of his arrival, Pittrap had made your daughter a few snacks, made her brush her teeth, and put her to bed.|🎾🕳
🐰|You didn’t have “Animatronic rabbit appears in my home and starts acting fatherly to my daughter” on any bingo card.|🎾🕳
🐰|You’re still nervous and confused about this whole thing... but at least Pittrap is friendly. You couldn’t fight an animatronic.|🎾🕳
🐰|As the time goes by, Pittrap continues to help you out with her—which you do appreciate.|🎾🕳
🐰|At some point, you wake up to find your daughter sent off to whatever she had for the day, the house cleaned, and breakfast in bed.|🎾🕳
🐰|You still wonder where he came from, but Pittrap hasn’t revealed anything, and your daughter’s explanation on the initial day was vague.|🎾🕳
🐰|The longer Pittrap is around, the quicker you begin to realize that you may have some new developing feelings about the animatronic.|🎾🕳
🐰|...You’ll just see where this all heads.|🎾🕳
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