#my mind is incredibly weird
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Sometimes you go on tiktok and find the most amazing edit ever and are desperate for more but then you scroll and the video is about how to make cookies or random people fighting and you sigh and have to wait another 500 years before the tiktok gods decide to give you another great vid
#tiktok issues#maybe im just mentally ill#thats also a possibility#this came forth out of a vid on tiktok about our prime minister#and then a tommy shelby smut fic#my mind is incredibly weird#im also procrastinating and my dad will be mad when he finds out i didnt read shit#someone save me from the hell of having to do tests
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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TF One D-16
#poll#maccadam#transformers#smash or pass#request#d-16#tf one#look. listen to me. i want the movie to be good. i want it to be good so badly.#but i simply do not trust it. its giving marvel movie and that has me Incredibly Fuckin Worried#because i do not want this franchise to turn into generic safe crowd pleaser action comedy allergic to genuine emotion generator no. 6483754#i do not want cliche heavy low effort lowest common denominator movie afraid to do anything even slightly weird beyond surface level#like. look. as much as i dunk on bayverse. as much as i voice my distaste for the designs and everything micheal bay has ever done#i respect the hell out of them for letting those robots be fucked up aliens#with weird nasty unfamiliar biology#and for having intense and serious and deathly somber moments#even if they butcher the characterization of some of the bots#cough cough give me your face ill kill them all optimus#im also not crazy about it looking like optimus and megatron come from the same place in the bottom of society#its so much more compelling for megs to come from the very bottom and be hyperaware of how bad everything is#whole orion has more of an everyman position. a cushy library job. not afforded luxuries but not rotting at the bottom#because then they learn from each other. orion piecing together hiw bad things get while megs picks up how in the dark the mid caste is#also genuinely truly if i have to hear bumblebee say 'well that just happened' im walking through the space bridge into a vacuum#welp. that turned into an essay. dont mind me being a hater 💖
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new suicide squad anime got me thinking about the genderbend batman au i made when i was 16 again.
extra (nsfw??? body horror + shirtless doodle lol) art under the cut + drabble.
A mysterious actress appears in Gotham!
Production for the long-anticipated remake of the 1930s classic horror film, "The Clay", is saved in part thanks to the audition of one woman with no credits to her name, just a face and demeanor identical of the late leading actress of the original film.
However, the cast and crew have bigger worries than their limited budget and endless demands from their producers -- everyone involved seems to be disappearing one by one!
While the average gothammite worries that the cult classic's "cursed" reputation might be a little more than an urban legend, The Batman refuses to entertain such unfounded silliness and aims to get to the bottom of this crime against cinema!
presenting BATMAN '63 - THE RISE OF CLAYFACE coming not actually ever lmao
(her hair is brown now because I like the idea of her appearance never being fully consistent lol. shapeshifters gotta do their thing)
#batman au#gotham rogues#genderbend#clayface#dc comics au#i have no idea how to tag this. hi guys.#anyway i rlly do like how silly they made clayface in the isekai anime. i definitely took some inspiration from that iteration but#this version of fem clayface has been. in the back of my mind for literally years. i like the film actor angle for him too much#might do more of these might not. depends on how indulgent i feel ig.#anyway some misc headcanons for this clayface:#she was a struggling actor who was incredibly insecure about her appearance.#before she became clayface she would undergo plastic surgery for every new role she landed. her over the top passion for getting into (cont#(cont) character frightened directors. she gained a moniker for herself as “the woman with 1000 faces”#in this story specifically she's working under the penguin to get rid of some loose ends in a sensationalized way because the targets (cont#(cont) are famous. and she's more than happy to comply because a good chunk of the cast on set have been bad to her in the past.#her shapeshifting abilities have some limitations. she can morph into anything she has had skin to skin contact with however (cont)#(cont) she cannot change her total mass. which is why she has so much hair lol#she also can't copy powers cus that's whack. also only living things she can't turn into a car.#i probably forgot something important but yeah. goddamn you au i made as a teenager#goddamn you stupid ass suicide squad anime for making me think about this au again#cw horror#body horror#oh yeah she's also probably got a weird gender but she doesn't know that#she also can't maintain her not-clay-monster form for long or she starts to literally melt away.#my art
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guys go see wicked. trust
#it me#wicked#im losing my mind#toxic yuri obsession that was implanted in my brain like a sleeper cell when i saw the musical when i was 10: UNLOCKED#anyway its fr one of the best musical to movie adaptations ive ever seen they do it right!!!!!#they do the songs right and the staging and its SO GAY and the performances are incredible#and ariana grande as galinda/jeff goldblum as the wizard are INSPIREDDD casting choices holy shit#general knowledge of like. grande being weird and uncomfortable and fake as shit SUPER plays into her character in the best possible way#and jeff goldblum being universally beloved but a little questionable in his private life??? PERF for the wizard#goddddd#also just so yall know it is a part one; they break where the intermission is in the musical which i think is perfectly fine#they did such a great job. the sets the costumes the CHOREOGRAPHY#oughh
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Having been reminded of Umineko for a bit, it's honestly wild for me to remember just how many insanely messed up things occur in that series (and also its sister series Higurashi, and likely Ryukishi07's later works) and then also remember that that series was very formative for me during my high school years.
Today's kids could never xD
#don't mind me having a moment#higurashi & umineko are both ridiculously dark but like... the purity panic just did not exist back then?#(i was in middle school for Higurashi!)#and like... my friends and i knew this stuff was dark and we could talk about it and analyze it for hours#so much disturbing horrifying stuff (outside of the gruesome murders lol) but like... this stuff occurs in real life#and it didn't feel wrong or shocking to see it actually depicted (if that makes sense)#the characters were awful but sympathetic and compelling#they had moments where you despised them and moments where you were cheering loudly for them#they really felt like actual people#and with one exception the fandom back then was pretty good at acknowledging their flaws and their strengths#at least the parts I interacted with#(anyway Umineko has some of the most realistic depictions of child abuse i have ever seen in media)#(and this feels like an incredibly weird thing to praise in a series)#(but there is just generally a lot to praise in umineko lol)#(but also i would love to see some put together a content warning list for umineko just to see how long it would be)
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whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend
#i'm personally about to start sobbing#how many letters do they try sending#how long does that sweet gentle soul wait - I actually don't want to know#little too close to home frankly lmao#grandpa i don't CARE that something evil lives in fernweh and wants to eat me or control me or whatever - that's my bestie!!#I just did James's route and this part hurt so much worse#fernweh saga#like J is SO scared to ask MC if they can write this time & they're trying to be SO supportive--#--of the fact that the last time they tried MC was going through an incredibly difficult time in their life#but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt so badly#and like it's obviously not MC's fault bc they never even got the letters in the first place#but now I want to cry thinking about how my MC hugs James at the police station when they meet again and how he's probably like ???#my MC missed him and James is like 'weird reaction for someone who couldn't be bothered to write back'#'and shattered my little fifteen year old heart into pieces'#i'm making wild assumptions about the inner workings of J's mind here but anyway#j corvin#all i'm saying is if my best friend was ripped out of my life and I tried writing them I would be religiously checking the mailbox#probably far longer than I should but still trying to hold out hope
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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👁️🪽
#not pictured: how incredibly strange I feel rn#received information & perspective that has honestly left me feeling some kind of mind fucked#and not in a good way#and I’m not usually so surprised#like I have solid intuition and foresight that rarely ever allows for this level of w t f#gonna need 7-22 business days to process#that first butterfly picture edit took a while and I used half my brain to enjoy editing 🦋#and the other half was processing the newly received data#symbolism of butterflies#definitely some kind of transformation happening here ?#but rn we’re just in the caterpillar desolving into goop stage#just honestly not even sure what’s going on or why or what I should do next#so I guess I’ll just allow myself to feel all the sorts of weird I feel .#she speaks#perspective#personal post#yin#butterflies#art#the goddess herself
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FINISHED THE BOOK
#julia.txt#i forgor how fast i can read if i put my mind to it LOL#anyways something weird about it is that it SHOULD be right up my alley#it has that hazy kind of disjointed narration that i LOVE#with a touch of magical realism. teeny tiny touch.#and i could not tell you anything wrong with it like the writing was great the plot was incredibly well thought out#like objectively! it was good!#but for some reason it just. didnt Catch Me#u know#still. good book. glad i finished it LOL#anyways. going to sleep now biopatho at 8 am fire emoji
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FIDDLESTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i think the thing about fiddlestan that makes me so incredibly crazy is the fact that its not a particularly popular ship#like#it gives me a weird sense of duty#i NEED to draw them now so theres more fanart#people NEED to see my vision#and with billf0rd its fucking AWESOME and all#but theres already so much gosh darn fanart so it doesnt have that same edge#like holy fuck#anyway just having Thought again guys dont mind me#as if i havent been thinking about them constantly since like tuesday or something#censored billf0rd cuz this doesnt have anything to do with them and i dont want it in the tag
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BRETT DALTON as Mark Trent Found 1.10 “Missing While Indoctrinated”
#brett dalton#mark trent#nbc found#found nbc#found (series)#found 1x10#foundedit#mine#my gifs#don't mind switching the colo for this one scene because the show is lit so incredibly weird at times i swear#so inconsistent too
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.
#uh oh i am#feeling very much not like a real person today#just incredibly anxious for no reason i know of#like my body's still in hyper go mode but i mean#this is my first day off in 5 days so maybe thats in?#like i cant convince myself to relax or that i dont have something im pressed for time to do#and im just so tired#and its creating this weird space where i feel Iike im existing a little to the left of reality#the wind is warm and the sky outside is an expanse of blue with crested clouds but i cant take it in#attention span is all over the place#going from like sad to happy to The Longing to feeling left out of my own life#what the fuck brain can i just have#one normal day when im at home BLEASE#i wanted to write today! but even when im sitting still its like im floating#caspost#tbd#sorry i don't mean to complain i feel like ive been doing that alot lately#i am the captain of the struggle bus and its careening into traffic#my mind has the mouth feel of pop rocks and the look of tv static
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my sister got married yesterday in the chabad shul we grew up in and it was a lovely wedding and i'm excited to have a brother (never had one before) but ALSO i need everyone to know that, after attending this shul for over a decade regularly and another decade intermittently (when i'm back to see my parents) i thought i'd found every picture of the Rebbe they'd hung up but i discovered, at 9pm after a long day full of wedding, while putting the chuppah away, that he does in fact also watch over us from the supply closet
#jewish blogging#ren speaks#it's so sincere on their (rabbi & rebbitzin) part there but i also i lost my mind i was a little overtired#also yesterday one of my new BIL's siblings asked me how many stalls there were in the men's room (for clothes changing purposes)#and i realized in that moment that i had never ever been inside the men's room#obviously chabad shul the entire environment is incredibly gendered and would not have been cool with us using whatever restroom we wanted#even as kids. even when i was in wednesday night hebrew school and there were literally only 7 students there plus the teacher#and i didn't come out until i'd already left my hometown#but i hadn't realized i'd kinda been avoiding using the bathroom there until yesterday#i didn't want to deal with someone starting a problem over it. the rabbi wouldn't (bc his wife wouldn't let him i think she's like a second#aunt to me though she doesn't really understand what being trans is still and she'll still touch me even though she's shomer negiah)#but yeah. weird. wonderful wedding though they're very good together
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Totk is fun and all but god the writers hate people of color
#every scene with ganondorf is deeply uncomfortable holy shit#it seems mostly targeted to southwest asia north africa ''cultures''#(seriously just racist bullshit but okay whatever okay)#and thats so stupid bc so much of this game has chinese imagery thats at least like. trying.#one day ill talk ab the rito ''aesthetic'' and its gross anti indigenous undertones#not today but one day#also dont come on this post to tell me the game was made by japanese people#like yes no shit#and im not the one to have a conversation ab it but japan is incredibly xenophobic#rbs off for rn i might change my mind#edit: i put cultures in quotations bc none of the actual cultures are being represented here its just weird stereotypes
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lt. cmdr. nella daren immediately became my favorite one-off tng character from her first scene she's so fantastic... i was worried the whole time they were gonna force some interpersonal conflict to make her the bad guy or just straight kill her off, and im so glad that didn't happen. as far as ending one-off relationships goes, thats abt the best i could hope for for her character. she gets to live on as a passionate stellar cartographer and musician, being an absolute delight to anyone who understands her like i do 🫀🫀🫀
#i just know shes ever so slightly weird. like they dont dive into it‚ but her stage whispering in a dark room at 3am and crawling around#the jeffery tubes to find the best acoustics? she is SO dedicated to her passions and her work and she doesnt put#much thought at all into what people think about her i just know it. she's so incredible she's getting rotated in my mind for the rest#of the day at LEAST. idk tht ive ever seen her act before but wendy hughes KILLED it she was so IMMEDIATELY#interesting and likeable and captivating and she never stopped. just an absolutely fucking fantastic performance!!!!#it speaks!#tng#nella daren#strangers dont get mad at me for putting my semi-liveblog in the tng tag uhm. i did it cuz i just KNOW she's not getting the attention#she deserves and i wanna highlight her. its not perfect but watch Lessons again just for her okay? thank you 🫀🫀🫀
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