#my mans is Stressed
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judasofsuburbia · 6 months ago
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several sentences sunday
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thank you to the lovely @caterpills and @priincebutt for the tags!!
this is from a vampire/blood donor au (literally can't stop writing au's for them it's a real problem) that came to me in the middle of the night weeks ago and finally transferred out of my notes app to a word doc, hooray!!
Subject: Donor Rates
Hi Henry,
I got your card from my friend Nora who is either dating or sleeping with and feeding on (honestly idk) your friend Pez with my sister and her girlfriend June. Forgive my ignorance of their dynamic, I tend not to ask a lot of questions for obvious reasons.
I’ve never hired a blood donor before so I’m a little out of my depth but I’m sick of getting buckets from the butcher. Would you like to meet up at Bluebird Cafe on 16th street sometime this week? I’d just like to meet you first and find out how this works but no bites or feeding in public, I promise. It will have to be at night too but if your clientele is primarily my kind, you must already know that.
I heard you’re the best in the biz so you feel like a good place to start. Let me know. Also, if I’m super not supposed to have this business card, please let me know. The gold trim on this gives off a fancy vibe so maybe you’re exclusive. VIP blood or something. Once again, forgive my ignorance and also...let me know.
Sincerely,
Alex Claremont-Diaz
tagging with zero pressure and utmost love: @seths-rogens @softboynick @thinkof-england @bitsnpisces @onthewaytosomewhere
@firenati0n @blueeyedgrlwrites @theprinceandagcd @thesleepyskipper @anincompletelist
+ open tag for anyone who wants to post something!! i'd love to read it<3
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clownsuu · 5 months ago
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bullying ford just for funzies 💥🥄
cw, the tiniest amount of blood/body horror
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farshootergotme · 6 months ago
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Occasionally I picture Nightwing calling Red Hood "little wing" in front of others and people looking between this huge, 6'0 feet tall man with growing white hair, and then Nightwing, a shorter man who has flawless skin, probably around his 20's, and a fit but not too buff build and they just- don't know what's happening. Is it some kind of inside joke they aren't aware of? Why is Nightwing acting as if he's years older than Red-fucking jacked-Hood?
Nightwing: Little wing, you actually were decent in that fight! I'm impressed.
Hero, who was helping during this fight as well, listening in to the conversation: little...?
Red Hood: Wow, feeling very appreciated right now. Got any other backhanded compliments in there?
Hero: Wait, excuse me-
Nightwing: As a matter of fact-
Red Hood: Nope! I'm outta here. Screw you!
Nightwing: You know you love me!
Red Hood: In your dreams, dickhead!
Nightwing: Hey! We don't use that-
Red Hood: Not listening!
Nightwing: Jeez, kids these days...
Red Hood: I'm an adult and fuck you too!
Nightwing: What? Thought you weren't-
Red Hood: See you never, I'm out.
Hero: ...
Hero: what the actual fuck?
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rapidhighway · 6 months ago
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more.
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lamb-teaa · 13 days ago
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` Transactional Tantrum
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` pairing: Sylus x fem!reader
` tags: fluff. romcom. silly shenanigans. filthy rich Sylus. chaotic!reader cuz we all want to be spoiled and provided by him don't lie 🫵🏻
` teaa's note: where can i get a husband like Sylus (⁠ ⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⁠⌢⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀⁠)
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People hail him as a powerful man amongst all existing factions in the N109 Zone, yet even someone like Sylus isn't immune to the dread of a tedious business dealings.
Don't get him wrong, it is practically his job for a lack of better words but you can't blame the man for nearly dying out of boredom at the moment.
Ping!
A sudden notification from his phone tore his attention away from his yammering business partners. Sylus briefly glanced down at his phone, brows furrowed in confusion when he read the transaction alert message on his screen.
'Ten million was charged to your Credit Card at Summers Jewelry'
Sylus didn't even have the chance to ponder over the sudden message further when he was suddenly startled by another barrage of notifications - yes, plural notifications.
'Four million was charged to your Credit Card at M&Hs'
'Six million was charged to your Credit Card at Nebulas'
'Eight million was charged to your Credit Card at Zapple'
Despite the deadpan expression on his face and his usual nonchalance silence, the slightest quirk of his brows were enough to give away his bewildered reaction to seeing such random transaction alerts on his card.
He doesn't recall making any on-hold purchases and certainly didn't give the twins any permission to spend any after the last time they went all out using his card in the past.
Which means only one person would be bold enough to overspend his money on a whim like this and his eyes instantly flickered in amusement when another transaction message came through his phone.
'Thirteen million was charged to your Credit Card at Abyssal Attire'
Seems like a certain kitten is on a wild spending spree.
Observing the transaction alerts, Sylus let out a low chuckle, ignoring the strange looks from his business partners who continued on with their discussion.
His sole attention now was you - his lovely kitten spending all his money with reckless abandon.
As his thumb hovered over the icon of your picture on his phone, he couldn't help but grin at the large purchases you made - given the fact you had always been reluctant to spend on his card before despite the countless times he had reassured you that he wants you to use his money to your heart's content.
Sylus, without a doubt, always wants the best for you. Even when you nagged him on buying such expensive gifts before, yet that will never stop him from spoiling you rotten.
Though.. he wondered what sparked this sudden influx of random purchases this first time around?
With his interest now piqued towards you, Sylus strode out of the conference room without a care in the world, especially when said discussion had led to no satisfying result on his end, thus he neither bothered about the frustrated and flabbergasted looks of the businessmen as he made his way along the hallways of the building.
Luke and Kieran, who's been by his side the entire meeting, automatically followed their boss out. Both brothers exchange curious looks from behind their masks with a shrug. Though they had great knowledge that only two things could spring their boss out of his usual routine - an unexpected ambush or well, you.
And it seemed like they were right on the nose as they watched Sylus’s thumb pressed onto the screen of his phone before bringing the device close to his ear, an amused yet genuine smile curled on their fierce leader's lips as he called out your name.
"Is it just me or a certain kitten is behaving quite impulsively with her spending today?” His voice held a steady yet teasing affection tone, his mind already picturing your smug expression at overspending his money. “This is a first, sweetie.”
"Oh look who finally remembered me!" Your voice snapped, the snarky and sarcastic response made Sylus pause in his track in surprise.
Before he could say anything, you cut him off, your voice faux innocent under a thinly veiled anger from the other line. "To think it took blowing your credit card to call me after making me wait for you the past THREE hours, you better have some explaining to do mister!”
To say you had left Sylus utterly speechless would be an understatement of the century, but it quite frankly did as your unexpected anger left his mind reeling in both confusion and worry.
Even his brief frozen state wasn't left unnoticed by Luke and Kieran, both could heard your snappy voice from the other line and they know an unhappy Miss Hunter equals to a agitated Onychinus leader, so they quietly watched in as Sylus slowly recover from his initial surprise before turning his attention back to the phone call.
“Kitten.” Sylus blinked, a frown forming on his lips, "I don't recall us having plans today? And I'm out of town for the time being as well.”
There was a sudden silence from your side, and for a second there Sylus thought you had hung up on him but your next words made him even more confused.
"Wait, what, I thought Luke and Kieran said you'd be free for the weekend and they'd told you about our date for today?"
At the mention of the twins, Sylus's head immediately snapped towards his henchmen who visibly tensed up. It didn't take long for Sylus to put two and two together that Luke and Kieran had pulled another of their mischievous pranks on you.
Oh but this one is definitely going to cost them their four months worth of paycheck for making his kitten angry at him.
"It seems like the twins have made a mistake. I wasn't aware of such plans today." Sylus's voice dropped low and dangerous, a flicker of annoyance as he shot the tensed twins a hard glare.
Though, knowing it would be no use to him to be mad at them at that moment, Sylus paused briefly once more before taking a deep breath, calming himself down. "I assure you, sweetie, I would never intentionally forget anything, especially when it's about you.”
There was another stretch of silence before you spoke up again, your voice softer and apologetic, wincing in guilt for assuming he'd purposely ditched you when that wasn't the case. "I'm sorry.." You sighed quietly. "I just.. I was looking forward to seeing you today and I.. I missed you, Sy.."
His annoyance instantly melted away at your confession. He understood that his work often kept him away, leaving you feeling neglected at times and he wanted nothing more than to rush to your side and hold you dearly in his arms. You always had a way to tug at his heartstrings and even then he relishes at the admission of you needing him as much as he needed you.
"I'll make it up to you, right now. Anything you want, name it." Sylus emphasized seriously, already giving Luke and Kieran a look of command. Not needing any further words as the twins bolted off to prepare his private jet to head back to Linkon.
"Well, you could start by allowing me to strangle those twins." You chirped, your voice brighter now yet held intentional malice mostly directed towards his loyal henchmen for tricking you with false information regarding Sylus's work schedule.
"And cuddles. I expect to see you at my place later tonight for cuddles or else I'll empty your entire bank account." You demanded sweetly, with a clearly joking threat but given you had waited three whole hours like a fool in public, you were tempted to do it again if Sylus bails on you twice in a day.
Your laughter tinkled over the phone, a lovely sound that never ceases to make Sylus's heart swell with blissful affection. The business deal be damned and he'll handle the twins' antics another time, for now, all he wanted was to go back to you.
Sylus chuckled, a warm smile tugging at his lips despite himself as he made his way up the building's rooftop. He knew his kitten was quite a force to be reckoned with, and yet such side of you made him drawn to you even more than ever - oh, he couldn't wait to see you again soon. "Deal. Cuddles it is, and you have my word, sweetie, I'll be at your doorstep by tonight. As for the twins, well, I'm sure they'll be begging for mercy by the time you're done with them.”
Back to your awaiting loving embrace.
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yuutaguro · 3 months ago
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hey siri play colors by halsey
edit: “he looks like-“ no he doesnt 🥰
edit 2: okay fine the only acceptable answer is swann arlaud (my actual reference)
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artkaninchenbau · 7 months ago
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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itsybitsybatsyspider · 2 months ago
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you know those tiktokers and vloggers who go around with mics on the street?
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causticflower · 3 months ago
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can someone check on this man
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kawareo · 8 months ago
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Commissioned by Durge, Orin was surprisingly excited about it. Gortash, not so much, but multiple people died to provide paint, so he better show gratitude.
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griffithkisser · 6 months ago
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call me an apostle because the effect these gorgeous, luscious, kissable, desirable, plump lips have on me is definitely otherworldly.
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magicpiano · 26 days ago
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The GIW managed to capture Jason.
Sure he is way better than them but he was taken by surprise by strange weapons he has never seen before while he was in civilian clothes. The bats naturally try to rescue him but Phantom gets there first.
Danny figures that the bats, and the justice league as a whole, hate ghosts and support the GIW. The bats appearing soon after he tripped their alarms only confirms that they are working together. Danny saves Jason, but the bats persue him proving they won't easily let their specimen go.
Jason is too unconscious to comment on anything. So, Danny just takes this slightly dead guy with him out of the city.
Or the bats think Phantom kidnapped Jason.
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nosleepgummitato · 7 months ago
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but what if. . . what if he wasn't always a ball of beaming sunshine?
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canisalbus · 2 months ago
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hey just wanted to say I hope you're doing ok, I haven't seen your gay dogs in a while and I miss them and you 💛 obv you don't have to post if you're not feeling it, but just know that someone in another country is thinking nice things at you
Aaa thank you! It genuinely warms my heart to hear that you still occasionally think of me even though I've been laying low for a while now.
I'm doing a little bit better now compared to last month, there's been some positive progress, but still struggling with a lot of fundamental daily things.
Thank you for checking up on me, I appreciate it. I hope you have a nice weekend ´v`
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kuzoowl · 1 year ago
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Waiting to see them on the big screen when the Reze movie drops WOOO
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shrugsinchinese · 6 months ago
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A sketch and doodle page for Bat Swap by @im-not-buying-it-ether!
Billy is truly Going Through It in this one, and Bruce is getting called out by every significant Fawcitizen it’s hilarious
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