#my low tech life
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An accurate summary of my 2 hours of teaching how to use Tumblr to my sister
😂
Not that I know how to use either lol
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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want to talk about my aac use a little bit
I'm semiverbal/semispeaking so part of the time I am able to use mouth words but it is still really difficult
(not just to get the words out of my mouth but also to get them out the right way, right order, right pronounce, not to squished together or to slow, etc... i also have lots of pauses and gestures that interrupt my speech which cuts sentences short or just disrupts the flow... there almost never a time when I fully communicate the idea in my head the way I want without using aac)
i use aac part of the time. i do have aac apps, but only have access to a phone and not other device like tablet
this means the screen is not really big enough and I cannot access the app in a way that is easy enough to be useful for me
i also have text to speech on my phone because I am able to write (especially if I have spell check)
but if I am stimming to much to type or the words in my brain are still not in the right order then text to speech can be difficult
this all leads me to my point which is that i use a lot of low tech and no tech aac
mostly core boards, small flipbooks, printed keyboards/letterboards, communication cards, gestures, noises, and echolalia
lots of the time i also just stay wordless, sometimes the aac is too hard or I cant answer the question or the person I need to tell will not accept aac as communication
lots of people think of these resources as only for kids, only for extremely severe/profound disabilities, less valid, non communicative, and lots of other things.
i hope these ideas will be less someday and other people will respect my aac use as valid when I want to share what I have to say
#long post#nemo bros life#actually autistic#disability#actually semiverbal#autism#actually neurodivergent#aac user#semispeaking#actually semispeaking#part time aac user#aac#autistic#echolalia#low tech acc#no tech aac#day in my autistic life
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horrible horrible feeling of someone trusting you enough to ask for help and then you try and you can't </3
#shitpost#quil's unholy underworld#instructor had tech issues and was like quil. can you sign into this computer please?#and I was like yeah sure!#but it's 2 step verification and my phone would NOT receive the code and so I couldn't </3#bad reception#i have never been so devastated in my life i want this instructor to like me SO bad#also i'm very low on spoons right now so i have less processing capacity and its even MORE devastating
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Anyway my dad is like, really insisting I need to go into IT (which I don’t necessarily disagree with) because I like. Know how to use basic things on my computer (like, I knew what regedit was and told him how to shut off the new ai thing on windows 11) and I was like. Dude you built the network infrastructure at your current job, how dire of straits are we in right now?????
#I realize tech literacy is kind of at an all time low but like. geez louise#and the thing is HE IS THE REASON I KNOW THESE THINGS#BC HES BEEN IN IT PRACTICALLY MY WHOLE LIFE#the man worked at GATEWAY COMPUTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GATEWAY!!!!!!#anyway#I’m gonna try to look into getting my A+ certification#max says things#tori says things#the job hunt 2k24
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Synthesizing your own hormones just for the vibes
#cyberpunk#trans#transgender#estrogen#testosterone#apparently a girl who went to my college did this#she lives in a super blue state too lmao#high tech low life#chemistry
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Oddly fitting that my most noteworthy post is the Voy crew hocking 90s tech when I spent the last 4 years desperately trying to get rid of 90s tech
#they saved me from the 90s tech overload honestly#you would not believe the amount of 90s tech there was#y'all it filled a semi and went to a computer museum#someone's dad low key invented a computer chip in the 70s#my life has been... unusual#I wrote a book about it but zero editing and my once mentor ghosted me without reading a word of it#you would not believe half the things in my family history it's ridiculous
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god u know when there was like. a whole hippie movement. can we pleasee make an anti-tech movement. like ik that exists but i mean a BIG WIDESPREAD one. & like not a crazy one but a positive & chill one, like we can def use helpful & necessary technology but generally no social media and prob no streaming platforms either. if companies are doing shitty things with tech we won’t stand for it. using “outdated” things like physical media & wtv. engaging with your local community more if that’s viable. going to random knitting club meetings at the library or smth. volunteering. there’d be no rejection of people who didn’t do these things, just encouragement to move away from the worst parts of tech and do what works for you, even if that means social media (although i feel like it’s VERY hard to use social media healthily now). idk i just feel so poisoned by technology at this point i want to LIVE
#i also feel like everyone my age is NOT like this which makes it harder for me to capital L Live yk??#like life dependent on social media just feels hollow & inauthentic to me… which is just a me thing but like#when the amount of people my age who connect with the real world and their real community more than their online world is so low#it makes it harder for me to connect. if that makes sense#however after i got off of social media and told people about it a few of my friends did the same#and a few more made a couple steps. like decreasing usage or even just admitting it’s not good for them#took literal years for my sister to admit that tiktok is bad and bad for her mental health#u gotta let them realize it in their own time#but a widespread movement like this i think could REALLY help people have that realization sooner or at all#esp because tiktok addicts like….. can’t think for themselves… i’m sorry it’s true. generally.#sigh i just hate tech today
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I haven't gotten very far in Starfield yet but looking back it's kinda hilarious that I basically went to the character creator and I guess subconsciously decided "I'm gonna make her the exact opposite of my CP2077 character" right down to them having the exact opposite hair color.
#Starfield#I went Cyber Runner; Neo Street Rat - Wanted - Taskmaster for my build so.......yeah#My roommate even called me out saying that I only picked Cyber Runner because it had 'Cyber' in the name which is.....partially true?#Honestly I wanted to play a space rogue/their and that's the best starting build for one#Anyway yeah I'm still deciding on the name but I think it's Ji-Yeon 'Lee' Aster -- Lee being the pseudonym she gives to most everyone#Korean mother German-American father#Her parents both die when she was young so she grew up in Neon scavenging tech equipment to sell for pittance#and eventually grew into a pretty decent hacker who was able to get by on Neon with minor jobs and the occasional corporate freelance gig#When she's 25 she goes in with a few friends on a huge homebrewed hacker job and the whole thing goes to shit. Like absolutely falls apart#In a moment of weakness Lee throws everyone else on her team under the bus and bails-- everyone else gets arrested and thrown in corp priso#So with a big bounty on her head she hops from system to system trying to keep a low profile until she lands the Argos job and plot happens#In terms of comparing her to Riley she's WAY smarter WAY more cynical WAY less athletic and WAY more guiltridden about her life#And while Riley's slower to trust but overall still nice at her core Lee is just a dick. The entire plot is just one big inconvenience#And to her working with Constellation is basically another way for her to hide from her massive bounty#She trusts them but DEFINITELY looks to use them in the beginning as...let's face it basically meat shields#Riley's story is more about learning how to trust people and accept change;#Lee's story is more about the importance of family and learning how to be less selfish#And finally-- Riley has blue hair and Lee has orange-red hair (her hacker alias was 'F1r3br4nd' and she never wanted to change it)#ANYWAY dump time over back to work#Seta Speaks
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as a person with anxiety and fear of violent vehicular death, that most people do experience the same amount of car trouble that I do but they usually just. let their car break down before doing something about it vs working themselves into a faint over every noise is a lesson I'm trying to teach myself
#says kenna#im not cursed#my baby is just 1) ancient#2) neglected by all her previous owners#and im resposible and trying to keep up with maintenance#i need to get my transmission flushed. i definitely havent done that since i bought her and id bet my life none of her previous drivers did#steering rack is going#brake pads will need done before this winter#and im hearing a clicking occasionally from a wheel that the mechanic couldnt place last time they looked at it but i want them to check#again#these are things normal people just let their cars break down over#but they have me dizzy and sick to my stomach because i love my car like a person#everyone yells at me and tells me to just buy a new car but first of all i cant afford that#and second of all i FUCKING LOVE HER#WITH MY WHOLE HEART#i love every quirk and rust spot and the failed tpms sensor and the slight lean to the left and pull to the right#we have so much more off roading and road trips to do i will do whatever it takes to keep her healthy#plus i just love driving an older car#i love it being low tech i talk about that all the time#but you really just cant get a non-intelligent car anymore#they all have ai that i do not want on pain of death
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on a nicer happier note i got accepted into **** !! yay !!!!!!!!!!
#**** being communinty college 4 my auto tech classes 👩❤️💋👩🍻���💞#we’ll see if i get in2 the beauty school & who offers me more money LMAO#i have low expectations 4 each but yk u never know till u try. or whtever. okay back 2 mourning the life lost#xoxo
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Me: I'm doing so well. Maybe being potentially autistic is inaccurate, and it's all just the ADHD.
Three aggressive shutdowns in three days that I have to partially or completely push through to the point my thoughts have trouble leaving my mouth later...
Me: yeah, this isn't normal.
#my life#being in tech and working with headphones on is such a huge accommodation#people in tech just tend to communicate clearly#and i haven't had a shutdown in a good while#thankfully i can make low stimulation environments better these days#(except for babygirl she's gonna be loud)
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Ohhhh i do not think I just go for a normal blood test to get tested for Lyme I see…. :’) Part of me wants to know more to be prepared + because it might be perfectly fine and not scary but part of me doesn’t wanna scare myself worse. Jesus Christ.
#having to rule things out to diagnose your fatigue is so hard when you’re literally a little bitch baby and anxious about everything#lab techs and phlebotomists should get paid extra to deal with me…. walking in like hi I’ve got a low pain tolerance and a panic disorder#literally I am too small and pretty for things to have to be scary or bad. that’s it that’s all.#life hack: stole ‘I’m/we’re too pretty for this’ from my boss at an old job. life changing.#love her miss her hope she’s doing well and found a better job. I know she quit the company we were at bc upper management was yikes#cape town rambles#health updates
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god knew i would be too powerful i lived before the internet existed
#technology has ruined my life gang 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#we need low tech schools fr my dopamine seeking adhd brain can't handle all of this#i hate that it's basically impossible to live life without computers or a smartphone or i would!!!!!
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