#my life would never be the same
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Im not saying it wouldn't be disrespectful to drop news about mcr5 tomorrow but have you considered the fact that it would also be fucking hysterical
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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no but the thing is. they KISSED. on screen. it was a real scene, not deleted, not removed from a script, it HAPPENED in front of the world's eyes. and AND the actors are normal about it and the whole cast and crew is normal about it and it's not vague and it's IMPORTANT. no matter the rest of it and what came after it, it happened!!
#and i AM gonna say this in the tags to avoid too much controversy but#STOP COMPARING GOOD OMENS TO SUPERNATURAL THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT IN DOING THAT. WHY#why do you need to treat good omens as inferior to a show that was so fucked up. i love certain aspects of spn but#i would never in my life pit those shows against each other because they are nowhere near the same in ANY way#and guess what. i feel more fulfilled with the (CANON might i remind you) arc between crowley and aziraphale than i ever did with destiel#there. i said it and i WILL happily die on that hill alone if i had to#I LOVE WHEN ROMANTIC FEELINGS BETWEEN CHARACTERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED AMD THEY DID THAT FOR FUCKING REAL#good omens spoilers#gomens#good omens 2#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#david tennant#michael sheen
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Last Unicorn quote stuck out to me so I gave it to Spider-Fox
(the only person willing to be your friend and he didn't show up until long after you already lost all trust in other people)
#i won't post about the movie yet but i WILL post more sonic prime heyooo!! there's no escape!!#sonic prime#sth#nine the fox#miles nine prower#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#my art#baby fox do do do do do do#poor sonic though: imagine raising a kid like family only to see how the kid would turn out if you were never in his life and its BAD#the guilt that would crush him for not being there for him (even though it wasn't his fault) so he tries to make it up to the kid#by doubling down on affection and praise and trying to let the kid know he's worthy of love#but ultimately he's NOT the same kid; you missed your chance a long time ago and now all you can do is watch as your baby brother#fades into a shadow of pain paranoia and loneliness and everyone keeps saying that the only thing left to do is give up on him entirely#but you CAN'T DO THAT you'd rather die than give up on this kid#but it keeps biting you in the ass because he's NOT YOUR BROTHER and he's hellbent on isolating himself at any cost— even from you#I'M NORMAL ABOUT NINE I SWEAR
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time is so fucking scary. because it does not care if you are happy. you will think I wish to stay like this, right here in this moment. i have found my place. but then time comes like a wave and pushes you forward. you cannot stay. and neither can the people you love. forward forward forward. time has ripped the claws from my hands, and the teeth from my mouth, as I have tried to cling to yesterday. but you must move forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forw—
#i recently went back to the place in which i was happiest in my life#and it has changed and doesn't look the same#and doesn't belong to me anymore#and quite honestly nothing aches quite like knowing#that no matter what i do i can never go back#that even if i stayed it would have all gone away anyway#that i had to move forward#and i had to let go of the things that made me happy#because time wouldn't stop#soph rambles
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It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed
#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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sos month 2024 day 4: if only you knew "What you said earlier — that you despise this life, wishing you weren't here... Is that true?" "If only you knew."
Thinking you have to choose between your years long planned and prepared defection and your last minute friend who kind of means everything to you now but wouldn't just up and leave with you has got to suck.
#my art#sasosakumonth2024#sasosaku#based same age au#sakura haruno#sasori#it would be so easy if sakura hated the shinobi life but she actually loves it!!!#meanwhile sasori skips on mission assignments and just sits in his basement boiling with anger for suna#he almost wishes they never met. ALMOST#spoiler alert they do find a middle ground like 7 years after this convo#on brand for naruto and it's commitment to bonds and the power of friendship. and maybe a little more in this case.#teenagers are so dramatic
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"Innocence died screaming, Honey ask me, I should know. I slithered here from Eden; Just to sit outside your door"
-From Eden, Hozier
aka: au where they grow old in the dungeon together in their monster forms.
#my art#fanart#strawberridraws#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#farcille#marcille donato#farlyn thorden#fallin tourden#fallin touden#guys what is her name the anime / manga got me confused lmao#anyways#had fun with this piece!#I always stress-make fan art during my finals/important times oop#got a super important bfa portfolio due in like three days yipeee#wish me luck#OH YEAH about the “au” lol#basically what if marcille realized that keeping fallin in her monster form would make her have the same life span as a dragon/her#so she like. steals her and they hide away#and for some reason laois gives up#(he would never but this is my special lesbian angst au so shh)#so then they just rot in the dungeon together with dungeon master marcille and monster fallin hehe#I love gay people !!!!!
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Something about the fact that these shots are all grouped together, one after another, visually giving them equal weight just gets me. The narrative knows what's going to happen between JGY and Huaisang at this point, knows how it's going to treat JGY at the end of everything. And it still takes time to show Meng Yao instinctively and immediately going in front of Huaisang and Huaisang instinctively and immediately hiding behind him. It takes the time--literally, showed it in the background and focused on it with the same general amount of time as the other shots--to show that this act of protection and trust are just as real and true as Jiang Cheng defending his sister, as Wen Qing defending her younger brother.
Like, I dunno! There are other Nie juniors there! They have swords and shit! Huaisang could have gone and hid behind the wall, but he hid behind Meng Yao! And Meng Yao could have moved back with Huaisang, but he steps directly in front of him!
There's a lot CQL did to JGY's character and narrative that I don't like and that flatten or just straight up erase his full complexity. But I really appreciate the lengths that it went to in Episode 4 to explicitly tell us that he does not hesitate to protect Huaisang, even though at this point he does not have a sword and definitely does not have anywhere near the same cultivation power (if any) as any of the rest of the people in the room.
Right now, after being publicly humiliated, unarmed and definitely outclassed, he is brave. Along with the rest of the characters, he's allowed to be uncomplicatedly young and loyal and just as innocent as any of the other students there.
#Besides Wen Chao fuck u bud#Honestly I think that along with Xichen Huaisang is the other person he legitimately never considered hurting#(In the same way that he didn't consider killing Mingjue hurting them but I digress)#With Xichen I think there were plenty of times were he came to the conclusion that fucking him over or overtly manipulating him#in a disadvantageous way would benefit himself and he actively decided that he would not do that#Whereas with Huaisang I just get the impression that it never occurred to him to do that#And I'm not saying that was ALWAYS out of the goodness of his heart#I think he genuinely didn't think he would get anything out of taking advantage of Huaisang personally or politically#Which is not the most ringing of endorsement next to 'I knew I could and chose not to'#But it wasn't ALWAYS that#for a man who has to constantly be on guard and look for leverage in every single interaction and aspect of his life#I think it's pretty significant that he let Huaisang in so close that he was shocked when he found a metaphorical sword in his chest#along with the physical one#Because in never trying to hurt him he never felt he had to defend against him#He loved him. They both loved each other :(#Also him finding Huaisang's bird antics so genuinely amusing in the background of this ep is just 😭#jgy#nhs#my stuff#jgy meta#nhs meta#text
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Buttercups and Golden Flowers
#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing.#so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image.#it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning.#my art#undertale#chara#chara dreemurr#safeutdr#something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous.#the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara.#contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan.#you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of#golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well.#why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're#the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground.#it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle.#it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative.#from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing#but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings.#well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me.#see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers#and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same.#'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?'#'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!'#<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater.#i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.
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"Penelope should have chosen Debling!"
My sister in Christ. . .he literally dumped her???
Like just before Colin Bridgerton was on his knees after outrunning her carriage to profess how he can't stop thinking about her in his love me, choose me, I'm yours speech, Debling did the Regency equivalent of calling her a floozy who would undoubtedly cheat on him when he abandoned her for several years to chase his passions (because she would never be one of said passions since she asked outright if he could ever come to care for her and he went 'hmmmm seems unlikely! good thing you have solitary hobbies to occupy you instead!') when he has been given 0 evidence of such other than realizing she liked to look out the window because she had a crush on the boy across the street. I was ready to challenge that man to a duel for Pen's honor
His feelings for her were middling at best, I mean Christ on a Pogostick, after he asked her mum for permission to propose he isn't even happy when he opens the door and Pen is there? She's looking like a snack- nay, a whole ass MEAL, and he can't even smile? He just nods at her and dips the fuck out? You don't think it would kill Penelope to know that both her sisters have husbands who absolutely adore them and she's out here with an absent dude who likely won't even write to her?
Portia's 'Love is make believe!' speech is so transparently full of shit when you realize that we've got Dankworth who is so obsessed with Prudence that he makes heart eyes at her every waking moment and considers her his little bonbon and Albion who loves Phillipa so much that he was waiting for her to consent to sex (not realizing she didn't know what it was) for two entire years because he would never pressure her and so he was content with finishing in his pants when he kissed her to make sure she was comfortable. And you want Penelope to settle for a life of loneliness? When Colin is so besotted with her that he dreams of her and breaks every societal expectation in the book as a notorious People Pleaser to run after her and cannot even wait for the morning after being intimate with her to introduce her as his wife to his family in the middle of the night? You want her to turn down Mr "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" Bridgerton? For LORD PENGUIN?
Be so serious right now
#polin#bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#lord debling#good old alfie d giving us absolutely NOTHING#'it would be so great to have a husband who is never there so I can live my life in peace!!!!' like. . .are you sure. . .you like men?#as a queer woman i get it: he'd be great for a wlw because like byeeeeee who needs love from a man when i can be left alone w/ my hot besti#but like. . .penelope wants love. . .and she DESERVES love and she wants her husband to love her!!!!#the featherington husbands are obsessed with their wives and you want pen to be out here alone in a big house? for why?????#tell me you hate penelope featherington without telling me you hate penelope featherington#she deserves her hot ass husband who finds her in every room and event they're in and hypes her up and eats the same food she does#so he can taste what she tastes#and kiss all over her and take her on his travels and show her the world and inform her that she's fantastic and kiss her all the time#and show her how much he wants her no matter where they are#LIKE BE FORREAL#you really want penelope out here with an absent husband so she can keep writing a gossip column that makes her cry all the time?#byeeeeeeee
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itadakimasu . gochisousamadesu .
#well. i have no excuses this all began with the urge to draw happy dazai and flustered chuuya#dazai was planning to manipulate chuuya into bringing the same food but chuuya went im out bye before he could say another word lmao#i was drafting this idea thinking that it would be short and sweet but the next thing i knew they started bickering on my sketches then boom#a longass comic was born dam it.#kids pls stop bickering and making my life harder /j#anyways thank you for reading jashlkdjghsg not really that happy with this#i swear i was giggling when i imagined it in my head kajshfklsf#is chuuya smiling or frowning at the end we will never know#skk#teen skk#chuuya's cooking supremacy#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bsd#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#fluff#sketch#comic#my art#im so rusty with comics aaaaa#stay healthy kids#soukoku#my comic
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More Thunderbirds Are Go! With an idea I couldn't shake; Kayo being the only one qualified to escort Penny to society events and "discourage" potential suitors (while shamelessly stealing Gordon's girl)! 🌸🗡️
The boys are all cute but Scott will have half a drink then idly drop some unhinged traumatic experience into polite conversation; Virgil will start lowkey stalking the unvaccinated guests; John hasn't come out of hiding since the Charity Auction Incident™; Gordon will free the buffet crabs into the ocean before showing off "cool" x-rays from the time he broke every bone in his body; and Alan will eat too many desserts, feel ill, then end up hiding under the table to play video games. Kayo is Penny's only hope of preserving any dignity! 😮💨
#thunderbirds#thunderbirds are go#kayo kyrano#lady penelope creighton ward#gordon tracy#josie's art#her ladyship recruiting a strong; confident; sensible lady instead of any disaster tracys has the parker seal of approval#frankly a crime we never got a girl power teamup WITH gorgeous formalwear#kayo would have a gun strapped to her thigh meanwhile john has a panic attack when penny lets go of his arm in a crowded room#like SAME buddy but penny what were you thinking..... if john needs enrichment just take him to the arcade and put him on the claw machines#no nervous breakdowns AND he'll win you a cuddly toy!#anyway i may post sporadically but i think about TAG every day of my life. i bought a TOS tracy island at the car boot today#it was £8 and still makes all the noises; i do not have room for it in the house but it's here now :V :V :V#i saw one for £5 a while back and regretted passing it up ever since so i went momentarily feral. no ragrets
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks
#dead leaf for leafpool and gull feathers for feathertail#like yeah it's funny that cherith does whatever the hell she wants as soon as she's in the driver's seat#but it's also baffling and frustrating that she wanted this in the first place#crowfeather or at least the version of him in my head is a fun and interesting character because he's shitty#in the newer books there's been a weird attitude toward him where the other characters think he's irritable but also noble and attractive#also tawnypelt is such a nothing character it's upsetting that all she's ever been is an accessory to the men around her#her father her brother her mate her son her grandson(s)#and her pov is no longer merely boring but actually insufferable thanks to her poorly handled “kids these days” plots#if it were up to me#the new prophecy would focus more on tawnypelt feeling out of place in shadowclan and struggling to prove her loyalty#contrasting brambleclaw who is generally accepted in thunderclan but victimizes himself due to his insecurity#i would also explore how tawnypelt and rowanclaw get together since he hates her in one scene and then they're lovey dovey in the next#although this does seem to be the basis of many warriors relationships#i'm not sure how i feel about tawnypelt getting a second mate as an elder but i don't want to begrudge old people finding love again#so i'm fine with it as long as it's not crowfeather#as for crowfeather#he would fall hard and fast for feathertail because she's pretty and shows him kindness but i want it to be one-sided#then he would fall hard and fast for leafpool for the same reasons#she runs away with him not because she loves him but because clan society is suffocating and she needs an escape#so when they get back to the clans she moves on pretty quickly but he lives a long and miserable life pining after her#his clanmates quietly avoid him because they don't like him that much because why would they and so he never becomes deputy#i can see him trying to reconnect with breezepelt and nightcloud as an elder#not necessarily because he realizes how shitty he is but because he wants a relationship with his granddaughters but it's strained#and then he dies! i'm tired of writing and being frustrated by these stupid books so i'm ending it here#changing skies spoilers#crowfeather#warrior cats#eel art#eel text
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