#my life is over party
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why is looking at pictures of fictional men the only thing that makes me happy these days
#just ghoststuff things#EVERYTHING IS GETTING BAD AGAIN WOO HOO#🥳🥳🥳#my life is over party#guys am i mentally ill#do i need help#well i don't really want help#not anymore#help sucks#i'd rather just lay in my bed and rot away#let the earth slowly reclaim me while i starve or smth#at least i've got my kite plushie#he's probably the only person that'd still love me even while i'm like this#which is really sad but oh well#if nobody got me i know that kite plushie got me can i get an amen#please kill me /hj#vent kinda#venting in tags
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mockley time it's mockley time will you have some mockleys of mine
#my art#oc#mockley#anthro#furry#dinosaur#i think i like this mockley i think i'm guiding her to where she needs to be design-wise to fit in with her human cohorts#and the lines were fun as hell to render. mockley has so many textures#been in an art rut recently. feel like i'm guiding my art where i don't want it to go. and also feel limited in what i can do#big pity party basically lol but it's good to recognise that and be like well whatever. just do some studies and get back on track#less throwing myself against the same wall and more finding a ladder to get over it. which will involve more studies and less oc drawings#and also less comparing myself to other people and especially people younger than me who have amazing art it's BAD for you#compete with YOURSELF and you can neverrr lose. you can never lose if you have fun LOSING#learn to LOVE losing#my favourite vinny vinesauce quote and one of my favourite motivational quotes ever. he said it as a joke while salty at mario kart#but it's resonated positively in my life ever since hearing it#fall in love with failing.....learn to love losing....(said to myself)
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My jewish community, friends, rabbi, and educators: We are very invested in helping you be jewish. Do you want to help read the haftarah? Here's a chanukiah! You can have it!! Borrow these books! Here's some books! You need more books... Come to pesach! Come to the chanukah party! When are your classes done? We need a minyan for once!
Me and my 50000 IQ: What if I am Secretly Appropriating judaism? What if I am doing a Cultural Appropriation........
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#there comes a point where your concerns about if you are an Appropriative Cultural Appropriator hinders your jewish journey#i think a comforting thing is knowing that my incessant fear about this is confirmation that i love judaism#i love it with my heart and soul and (i feel) i'd be a less realized person without it#and i think people who genuinely engage in cultural appropriation just Do Not Care about the cultures they appropriate from#they don't love the culture enough to respect it and that is a big reason that it even IS appropriation#especially when jewish people are INVITING you to do things... it's not appropriation#i dunno last night i was feeling very anxious about lighting the chanukiah candles because i'm alone#but i've also lit shabbos candles. and it's just like... why would i choose not to engage in this when one day i will have to?#this time next year i will have to light candles. as a jew. and if i have no clue how to do it myself then i'll just avoid it#plus... i love my chanukiah and i want to use it. it is currently decorating my room because i love it#i hope they'll let me take pictures of all the chanukiah that'll be at the party#i'm sure they will because they're very open and they are very accommodating. in fact i'm bringing my clarinet too#i haven't touched that thing in well over four years 😭#but jewish music without a clarinet is like a body with no soul. it's impossible. it is not what g-d wants i think.#i just hope my ability to play by ear hasn't been affected by my lack of playing. i don't have perfect pitch tbc#but i fully believe you can know your instrument so well that you develop an ear for perfect pitch#in fact... i refused to memorize my marching band music because i DID develop that 'perfect pitch' ear. that's my dirty secret#i didn't practice in part because i can't have a space where noone could hear me practice and it's embarrassing and private to me#literally EVERY jew in my life has been almost TOO ecstatic about my jewish journey. i'm very thankful for it#i guess i just didn't think i deserved to have people as happy about me being in judaism as i am#so to be clear this is my brain being rude and dumb. this anxiety has NEVER been reinforced by anyone but myself#so i take full responsibility for it. but i think that anxiety is something many/most converts/jews-in-progress feel
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My favorite brand of Ratiorine is definitely:
"They both experienced immediate attraction upon seeing the other and are (silently) interested in the possibility of pursuing a relationship, regardless of their differences and the difficulties of their situations."
But also:
"Despite being two of the most hyper-competent people in the universe, they are absolutely idiot4idiot when it comes to romance or discussing their feelings, and they are about to make their complete inability to express themselves and court like normal people into everybody's problem."
#honkai star rail#ratiorine#aventio#dr. ratio x aventurine#I just love the idea that Ratiorine might be the one ship where#BOTH parties were like “Oh no he's gorgeous”#BOTH thinking “I could spend the rest of my life with this person”#zero back-and-forth “Do I really like him? Maybe I'm just confused--”#nope just right from the start “Oh I'm in trouble”#but STILL#not able to get their shit together#still just completely unable to SPIT IT OUT#absolute chaos and drama#ridiculous hijinks#all over a relationship they both desperately want to be in#🤣🤣🤣#and like#it's one of those#“Everyone can see it”#so everyone else in the known universe is watching like#“Should we maybe help them???”#but there's no saving this#theyre both just going to have to put their big boy pants on#and *shudder* discuss their feelings
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Keep your fangs sharp, and your cash hidden 🐺🪙
#reverse1999#reverse 1999#r1999#reverse 1999 fanart#r1999 fanart#pavia reverse 1999#centurion reverse 1999#i present thee the crime duo#Pavirion#can be seen as romantic or platonic#this is my blog so this leans in a 100% shipping territory#what can i say i like equally sly and cunning people together who also enjoy a gamble with life (symbolistically; if thats even a word)#the 2nd image is pavia being a 'guard dog' to centurion mostly because if you remember the daily logins our girl bankrupted 3 casinos lol#he's just there to ensure she doesn't get banned#no not to stop her from going too far btw#he's supportive over her swindling everyone out of their cash#and if things go awry he'll enjoy a slaughter party while she's just basking in her riches in the background-#^which btw was originally going to be a comic before i got burnout from college so yeah#p.s if you made it this far in my rambles; have a cookie#p.p.s i chose the joker card for its symbolism#(sobs i dont have centurion's skin busy being broke-)
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"Curly enabled Jimmy's depravity and could've done something about it" and "Curly was already a victim of psychological abuse and manipulation from Jimmy pre-crash" are two sentences that can and Should coexist btw
#People really be out here saying curls was unaffected by yimpy#when he twisted his words during the party before Everyone and made him feel guilt over his insecurities in private#and literally caused him to have a mini breakdown right before the crash#Why do you think the heavy breathing sounds were there after jim told him he'd take care of it huH.#Why do you think the screen faded to black. my man Literally Froze.#Mouthwashing#Jimmy#Captain Curly#Luke rants#YES curly SHOULD HAVE NOTICED. He should've DONE THINGS.#But Jimmy was playing him like a fiddle too and had probably done so all his life if they go as far back as we're lead to believe#insidious little jimbecile making himself the martyr in curly's eyes and he believed it with his whole chest#But Curly was still an adult with braincells and if he wouldn't act against the abuse towards him he shouldve at least acted against Anya's#like bfksjdks SEE BOTH THINGS CAN BE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME
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Woe, Micheal Afton be upon ye.
#tw: gore#cw: gore#michael afton#fnaf#ennard#only a lil bit tho#looking through some old art right now to port since I’ve been in a bit of an art block#life and stuff and also most of my art has been for my dnd party which idk if ppl would like that#so here’s Mikey for all 10 Micheal afton enjoyers out there#I need to remember how I rendered it because i love the colors#guess that’s what da Timelapse is for#ramble over have a good day y’all
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hey guys 🤲 spare nille thoughts? s’il vous plaît???
#radio rambles#so many isat fics who brush over her addition to the found family#fine sure whayever but also. also#pls ? pls?#i still need to make a nille design………#in my mind nille is like 18 or 19 at best#raising her child sibling#and i think. i think. something so special about the party taking her in#and helping with bonnie. because. it shouldnt have to be her responsibility#ofc she loves bon but it shouldnt have. to be. her job to take care of then#and she still will ofc…. shes used to it now. instinct or smth#but having a whole family of ppl who are Equally (if not more after. everything) protective of bon ? like. pls 🙏#ALSO JUST#we dont know much about their home life… if nille and bonnie live alone etc#id like to think she has neighbors she might rely on sometimes. coworkers at jobs she wouldve had to have taken up#but just having like. actual and experienced adult influences in her life can be so powerful#someone to. talk to about. feelings#DO U UNDERSTAND ME. DO YOU THINK NILLE TALKS ABOUT EMOTIONS#about her own#auggh#this was supposed to be a short post but now ive said one billion things#oops#talk to me abt nille. in exchange. uh. nille design one day#ok?#isat spoilers#isat
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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I don't know which is more devasting. The idea that Mihawk and Shanks didn't see each other for a decade after thier breakuptm (which giving that they dueled almos daily for years someone had to have drastically changed their habits to avoid seeing the other)
or even despite all that and not for a lack of trying they just keep running into each other. That their fates are so horrribly enterwined, their yin and yang so bound to the other that despite their best efforts to the contrary it always brings them together again. On the same island in the same know nothing town pretending the other doesn't exist. Because Shanks is a captain on the come up he has a whole crew a burgeoning fleet and territories he can't just drop everything to chase after a petulant swordsman. And if Mihawk can't fight shanks then he can't see Shanks.
And god the tragedy of that of knowing that they are there on the other side of this island because you've known from the moment they arrived. But knowing better/refusing to do anything about it.
On the other hand I do also love the idea that whenever they do run into each other they get into these intense arguments and Mihawk and Shanks have always been prone to fighting but not like this. Because at the end of the day Mihawk and Shanks are both very immature people Shanks is prone to deflecting and distracting to avoid the problem while Mihawk is prone to just completely shutting down when any strong emotions are involved or when he feels like he is not being understood, until he just bursts out in a flurry of rage filled meanness and wrath with a body trail a mile long. And so they just go at each other and the situation is too delicate to thorn filled for Beckman to mediate and so he separates them at least to preserve the integrity of the island they are all presently on.
And then Mihawk goes off and takes his anger out on a marine base cause the pirates have all learned to steer clear of him.
I just think it brings new meaning to Shanks posturing when Mihawk first pulls up on him a decade later. That "you come here for a fight" is a real question and not just playful banter because obviously Shanks doesn't like fighting with Mihawk but why else would he be here? It's why mihawk's little comment doesn't diffuse the tension until he mentions luffy's poster. He is literally and figuratively extending an Olive branch and Shanks couldn't be happier to take it
#it had to come from Mihawk too. Shanks at any point in time would have ended the fighting or the gap if he could#Also I don't want to frame this like they are equal in this tension from both sides#While i do sympathize with my take on Mihawk's reasoning Shanks is definetly the wronged party here#because Mihawk was kinda making the whole lost arm thing about himself#and if I were shanks I also don't think that I'd appreciate losing my relationship over saving a child's life#It's more than that but that's defiently how it feels to Shanks#Mihawk is being childish and is jealous of an actual child#which honestly is kind of true#Mihawk fundamentaly being a deeply immature person is somthing i hold close to my heart#mishanks#one piece#dracule mihawk#throwing thoughts to the void#op#red haired shanks#akataka#akagami no shanks#hawkeye mihawk#mihawk x shanks#shanks
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And I forget sometimes I'm just flesh and bone.
As he stands in the ruined bathroom, all Rook can think is, At least now I can breathe.
#ts4#ts4 edit#the sims 4#sims 4 edit#my edits#ts4 render#my renders#blender render#oc: Rook#dnd sims#ts4 dnd#please I beg of you open this in a new tab and look it it. it's 2080px across and I spent way too long on tiny details.#(like the blood on the shards of glass on the sink. and the mirror alone took well over an hour...)#augh I love my boy so much#he's really going through it right now tho#poor bby#but when he's going through it I'm having fun playing him so...#yeah#blood tw#tw blood#so this is scheduled to go up right as we're starting our session picking up from exactly this point.#I thought that would be thematically fitting#please listen to this song it's so good and it's very Rook.#I almost put the lyrics right after this line (''I saw my reflection on the street that night / he said I got something to change your life#/ he said you don't look wrong but you don't look right'')#bc yk mirror shit. But I ended up going with this line instead because it's VERY VERY fitting for the conversations going on w/ Rook.#specifically about his reckless endangerment of himself to the point where some of his party members consider it to be self-harm.#(and obviously punching a mirror intentionally is self-harm.)#but like Rook doesn't see it that way and he's so confused as to why the party is so upset with him. (esp. his mentor and the gunslinger.)#god I could talk about this ridiculous man for hours so I'll stop here.
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a mildly out-of-context comic from my au
[ > ] / [> (digital alt)]
#was not planning on this being this long#or being something that i even post#i was just trying to get an idea down but then it turned into a Thing#whysopasta art#whysopasta otherworld au#creepypasta#marble hornets#tim wright#eyeless jack#comic#fan art#sketch#sketchbook#angst#?#i dont actually know what constitutes angst#mh#was fighting for my goddamn life trying to get this uploaded adkjflksadjf but i DID IT#YAYYY (imagine the last pic of tim w his head in his hands but theres party poppers and confetti all over it)#im so tired
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i’m actually having a jayvik themed birthday party tonight and you’re all invited
#i love that all my friends are also into arcane#it started out with like 3 of us that had watched it and we’ve slowly poisoned our whole group for the past few months#and now we’re ALL insane about it heheheh#these stupid scientists have taken over my entire life#i’m GENUINELY having my birthday party themed jayvik it’s crazy#and we’re gonna finally do a smash cake i’m so hyped#arcane#arcane season 2#jayvik#smash cake#real
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✨ a perfect all-american bitch ✨
happy birthday to THEE all-american bitch, dean winchester!!! 💘
this vision literally came to me as soon as i listened to guts... it was a long road getting here but i'm glad i was able to get this done by the best boy's bday 🫡
[ youtube link ]
#spn#dean winchester#deansbirthdaybash#birthday party for dean 2024#spnamvarchive#spn amv#are these even the right tags to use anymore. i haven't made a video in over 2yrs and it's always a fight for my life#anyway i'm so past my work bedtime. don't let this flop 😵💫 (i say knowing i made this for an audience of 2 including myself)#IF YOU SAW ME ATTEMPTING TO POST THIS 3 TIMES BECAUSE TUMBLR KEPT CHOPPING OFF THE END. NO YOU DIDN'T.
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WHAT IS WITH THESE HOMOSEXUALS REFUSING TO RUN AWAY WITH THE LOVE OF THEIR LIVES
#IM EATING THE WALLS#CHEWING ON WIRES#LIKE BE SO FR HE WAS BEGGING YOU TO RUN OFF WITH HIM#START A NEW LIFE TOGETHER#I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE#also yes hi i’m late to the ineffable husbands party#don’t mind me losing my absolute mind over s2ep6 😀#OOF i just know the fics will be heavy with ANGST#our flag means death#ofmd#good omens#ineffable husbands#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#stede bonnet x edward teach#crowly x aziraphale#our flag means death brainrot#good omens brainrot
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I know that people are rarely their best selves at a funeral, but do you ever just watch your family move through the process of mourning the Patriarch and have a sudden and violent and vivid understanding of Why Everyone Is The Way They Are
#it doesn't really matter if the answer is yes or no#because the thing is i am watching my family disintegrate in the wake and wreckage of disability/chronic illness#and i am feeling a grief and a rage that i cannot quite cope with#i am feeling many things and I am extremely drunk on vodka and tequila and red wine and i spent all day emotionally regulating#the worlds most fucking fucked up audhd genetic pool i've ever seen in my life#i don't quite know how to cope with the things that have happened today and as busy as my brain is given all that i prolly shouldn't have#had quite so many substances#the crossfade is far superior to being sober around my family and apparently despite it all i wasn't too incoherent#i was a blubbering baby the whole funeral tho#and i did spend the whole reception trying to manage a pots episode and the whole after party trying to stabilize my cousins#i don't know where in all this I will really be able to grieve my uncle himself#but honestly part of the issue on that is that i am feeling rather upset with and disappointed in the few people in my family who I had come#to trust over the years#chrissy and jenn are still everything i knew them to he#*be#and everyone else.....well#the people i knew before at least#fucking intergenerational trauma - the musical
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