#my internet isn't good enough for streaming

[mintyvoid]

hh i wanna play a video game, but only in one specific spot in my home. not at my computer, where all the games i wanna play are.

yes, im at my computer anyways- staring at my steam library- STARING at the games i wanna play.

can't open them tho, won't play them.

as soon as I leave my computer, back to the comfy spot. I know, I KNOW, I'll finally feel 'time to game' but will then be too tired physically and mentally to get back up and move spots.

but im going to move back to the spot, because I have been doing nothing for hours now- just staring at my screen NOT DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO.

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

Okay so hi I'm not super in any of your fandoms (watcher + try guys + dropout, hello welcome) but I'm a software developer and BOTH try guys and watcher announcing a custom streaming platform so close together had me suspicious.

So with just one, I'd assume that maybe they scraped together the money and resources to hire enough devs to make a well-designed secure platform (you want security for your login info and payment info). But two? Seems a bit odd.

So I actually looked a bit closer, at their privacy policies:

So it looks like Vimeo has decided to up their game and partner with existing yt content creation outlets to make streaming platforms.

Wait, what about Dropout? Dropout uses it too!

What does this mean, exactly?

Well, it means that Vimeo is providing a base software that gets customized for use by the companies (watcher, 2nd try). It means that Vimeo has a hand in your data associated with these platforms (account info, payment info, watch info, etc...). Is that a bad thing? Idk yet. Read through the streaming platform's privacy policy and Vimeo's privacy policy and make your own decision about what you feel comfortable sharing. But realistically the only additional info collected compared to your average youtube use is the financial info, and that seems to go through another third party (4th party?) (like Stripe or something like that. very common, most of your financial transactions online use things like that). It also likely means that Vimeo is taking some kind of cut of the profits made from these subscriptions (and lets be real, in this day and age, they're not just demanding a flat fee. It's likely some percentage of your subscription cost). The companies switching over (watcher and 2nd try) are making the gamble that the money made on subscriptions after cost taken is more than their adsense from yt, which isn't a wild idea considering how much we know yt loves demonetizing videos and paying their creators poorly.

It also means that Vimeo seems to be on some sort of marketing push, and that more of your favorite channels may swap over to streaming services in the near future.

Vimeo???? Yes, vimeo, that bootleg youtube that's been around for like as long as I can remember being on the internet. I guess they finally found a way to usurp yt's market control and good for them ig. Maybe this will be the thing that finally forces yt to fix their creator relationships? time will tell Why are you posting this in my favorite media company's tag?? I wanted fanart! Sorry to intrude, I just think this is neat and would love to hear opinions from other people on this knowledge.

[crimsonender]

Hello everyone. I'm reposting this across a few of my socials.

Stop interacting with Lily Orchard.

It doesn't do you any good. It doesn't serve to deplatform her. As of now I disavow any direct confrontations, aka "Touching the Poop."

What is touching the poop and what isn't?

1. Archiving? NO.

2. Talking about her in private or in public about publically known information? NO.

3. Giving her victims a space to speak about their experiences and grievances and warn others of her actions? NO.

4. Reblogging and/or sending her messages for the purposes of criticizing her, annoying or degrading her? YES.

I'll be the first to admit I have had several direct interactions with Lily in the past. This includes reblogging her, sending her anons, commenting on her channel, and sending chats on her live streams. However, this has gone too far and I'm personally questioning my own actions. It's okay if you did it before and honestly I can't stop you if you want to do it again. But trolling Lily and then showing Tumblr and private discords her response to laugh at her is bad form I think. We don't need to add fuel to the fire. Lily is already self destructing.

Ways that we can help her victims and her audience as they become disillusioned with her is give them a way out. Provide well researched, well spoken, fair criticism of Lily's content. Give them space to talk about their experiences. Forgive them and accept them and help them feel like they're not alone after leaving a community that very well may have been a big part of their lives. It's difficult enough on its own let's not make it any harder for them.

At the end of the day I can't tell anyone what to do. I'm just some guy on the internet with odd opinions and interests. But I hope you take this into consideration. Thank you for reading!

[sirgogington]

My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation. 

    I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be. 

    Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

   Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person.  It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened. 

   I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better. 

   Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

   We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know. 

   For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

     The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume.  Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

[thefoolishone666]

Kickin Chicken once said

@hiwelcometothemonstersancturary gave me the go to do this, which is mistake one for them, so here is my go at giving them what they encouraged while I pray it works well. And if not...well I at least tried.

* (Refering to Bobby) She is called Captain Heartbeat cause she will squeeze love out of your heart...and blood, but mostly love.

* (After speaking pr-bt for a 2 minutes) You ever forget your first language?

* Mods, take their swimming privileges away and put them in the pool.

* I would go evil, but I am going to follow dad's steps of being good...plus I saw they went shoe shopping so...

* What do you mean I can't seduce myself!?

* (Loud thud off Camera) PERCEPÇÃO DE PROFUNDIDADE!

* Our ship has a pool, an omelet bar, tons of rooms for you to sleep in, one would say that is a cruise, to which I say, fair, but have you seen the plank, cause I am about to get you real familiar with it.

* I heard some demons were touched starved. I got more than enough buckshot to help with that.

* Bubba, reading chat: "Kickin isn't the sharpest knife in the group," Well that is rude...

Kickin: I did eat packing peanuts when I was younger to be fair.

Everyone in room:

Kickin:...Wait is this new information for you?

Everyone: YES!?

* Wonder how many people come on to see me stream thinking "Oh hey, the voice actor for Kickin does streaming," or "Hey is this the official channel for the Smiling Critters show?" And they just come in on me saying something like, "I HAVE BUILT A TO SCALE JOLLY ROGER WITH POPSICLE STICKS!"

* Hey Theo, it's you! (Gets empty bottle thrown at head) Ow.

* White is the color of evil, cause nothing exists in it! Delight taught me that!

* I would cry, but I am too dehydrated to do such a thing. (Goes to drink some water, pauses, puts water bottle back down)

* It is always funny to see people react to my complete indifference to horrible stuff.

* I needed to find a way to get a gambling addiction, so I thought space could have the answer.

* (Seeing Bubba being affected by the blue screen) Bubba, I know you always wanted to become the one thing I love, but this is ridiculous!

* I am just saying revenge is amazing, ok? Yeah, you gain a tremendous amount of regret sometimes, but it is amazing.

* Cool motive bro, still murder!

* (In response to Angel giving them food) It hasn't been that long since I started streaming, it has only been...5 hours...

* This is my favorite bird. (Holds up middle finger before pointing to self) It is the chicken.

* (Wearing VR) The future is today!...I might need it adjusted though.

* Does dying take away time away from my vacation days?

* IT IS ALL A CONSPIRACY TO END ME! IF NO ONE EVER HEARS FROM ME AGAIN, IT IS CAUSE THEY KILLED ME, CHOPPED ME UP, AND FED ME TO THE WOLVES DANG IT!

* Fursuits are getting so good you can now subject yourself to your own form of trauma to fuse into it. Brought to you by Playtime.

* I have seen the internet and honestly, have seen worse. Which is saying alot.

* (Looks at Candy Cat in his lap before looking at camera)...Help. me.

* Theo: You finally did it! Did it help when you imagined it was me you were fighting?

Kickin: Not at all...worked when it was Dogday though.

Dogday: WHAT DID I DO?

Kickin: Hell if I know. As long as it works though.

* (Playing I Expect You to Die, dies trying to do an action pose)...(Starts singing the James Bond theme notes)

* (Reacting to "Unnecessary Feelings") Bubba, I was promised a crime drama, not a reminder that no one in this house knows how to feeling well, including us!

* I would boop you, but I don't want a pirate hook this early in my character development.

* William then preceded to commit several hours of joy, on at least an entire classroom of kids to learn why death does.

* You can have one hit Hoppy...Ah não, ela tem uma cadeira!

* Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I am just going to turn into a nuke to fall on you.

* (Stares at camera while winding music box)

* Chica, you wouldn't hurt your brother, would you? Or would you want me to be you and Foxy's kid, whichever makes you more merciful on me.

* I am here to break the stereotype that parrots can only be pirates and no other reasons at all.

* (Refering to how much money he has in game) $60!? I can finally afford 1 AAA video game! (Pulls up Balan Wonderworld steam page) I am going to buy this one guys!

* Kickin, coming into Crafty's stream: You mind if I borrow a picture.

Crafty: Uh sure...Why?

Kickin, taking one of the monsters: A reminder.

Crafty: A reminder of what?

Kickin: Of who in this family is an actual threat. (Leaves without elaboration)

* Don't make fun of me, I will cry will I beat you up.

* We don't even own a game cube, I just want to find a copy of Skies of Arcadia to display.

* When you get into a certain mindset for so long, it is so jarring to have to go into a different line of think, like you just suddenly ask, "Wait I don't have to ration this sandwich for the entire year?"

* WHY DID I LET THEO TALK ME INTO PLAYING THIS!?

* I am still surprised I recovered so well from all of that.

* What would the others do without me? Minus not having a heart attack everyday.

* I SURVIVED THAT FACTORY FOR OVER 10 YEARS, I WILL NOT LET A SLIDING PUZZLE DEFEAT ME!

* Have good night everyone! I don't remember how I end these...I will make you walk the plank! No, that is not it...

[cellu-lightreading]

Pure Greed

It was all a coincidence really. Jamie's friends took him on a vacation, and a few drunken afternoons produced a flurry of content of him shirtless on his socials. He was twerking on the beach and eating all kinds of food. As he watched it back, he was a little embarrassed. The internet isn't usually kind to guys like him with double chins that eclipse their necks and waistlines wider than adults are tall. When he checked his phone and saw that his phone was blowing up, he was nervous that trolls had come to attack him. That's not what he found. 

Hundreds of likes materialized overnight with a comments section overflowing with support and love. Not exactly body positivity comments, more swarming sexual admirers. There were heart eyes and eggplants and peaches. They said they liked his soft gut and his giant dimpled ass. They were drooling over how much he could eat instead of criticizing all the junk he was stuffing in his mouth. 

At breakfast, Jamie decided to share the phenomenon on his post. No one could quite explain how these legions managed to find him of all people, but one friend had one idea of why they were so obsessed with him. 

"They're called feeders or encouragers." Brandon said "When they see a big fat guy not promising to lose weight, they're like moths to a flame. You filming yourself stuffing yourself is like porn to them."

"How do you know all of this?" Jamie asked. 

"'Cause they swarm the comments of all my favorite fitness influencers going on a dirty bulk in the winter. They go rabid watching a dude's abs melt away for a few months and then get disappointed and disappear in the spring when it's time to cut. Actually, this is a pretty good opportunity for you if you play your cards right. These guys will literally throw money at you just for being fat. Now that they've slashed your hours at work, you can probably string these guys along to keep the bills paid."

"I don't know how I feel about selling my body."

"You're not exactly doing porn. You don't even really have to get naked. All you have to do is be fat and get fatter."

"Get fatter? I just clocked in at 375 the other week! I can't afford to get bigger!"

"Considering we're the ones paying for your stay this weekend, I'd argue that you can't afford not to get bigger."

A few days after getting home, Jamie decided to give making content a try. He wasn't really sure what to do so he started with something basic every influencer did nowadays: a get ready with me video. He started the video from bed, letting the people see him heave his body out from under the covers. He slept shirtless normally so that might be something. He showed himself buttoning up his uniform shirt around his large frame and hoisting his pants around his thighs. He got a little self-conscious thinking about the ways his clothes tended to get stuck around his folds and how tight they looked in places. He pushed the thought away and started on breakfast. Normally, he didn't eat all that much for breakfast, at least not compared to his other meals. He didn't really get that hungry in the morning, preferring to keep things simple with some toaster waffles and bacon. He thought half the box of waffles was pretty moderate considering how small they were; there were only ten in the box to begin with. After licking up the syrup, Jamie ended the video with a wave and a smile hoping he was enticing enough. 

Jamie closed the app out and forgot about it. Work usually kept him very occupied, so there wasn't a lot of time to check his phone. It was only at the end of the day when he got a call from Brandon that he thought to open the app at all.

"I'm genuinely curious: you really call five waffles and half a pack of bacon a light breakfast?" he asked Jamie incredulously. 

"Yeah? I'm usually not quite full after that."

"Oh it's no wonder they're reacting well to this."

"How well?"

"Like two thousand likes plus a never ending stream of comments."

"No way!"

"Yeah and this comments section...honestly is pretty obscene. I definitely feel like some of these would make you uncomfortable, but still no fatphobic trolls so that's a win. People are definitely fans of you. They think you are the sexiest thing ever."

"I still can't believe this is a thing."

"It is absolutely a thing and it is happening to you. Lots of people hoping you'll keep making content, and you're already getting people offering to pay for you to eat stuff. I honestly feel like you should show them what you normally eat before you do all that."

"But I'm hurting now. The cash would be good to have now. You have no idea what I can do with that kind of money."

"I think I’m starting to." He said to himself. Then he asked, "Aren't you the same guy who was nervous about putting yourself out on the internet?"

"I am, but $40 is $40. I go through a lot of money in food and things like that. It would be pretty neat if I really could get a little help around here."

"Well, how does this sound? Take the offer, go have a good time. Don't deny yourself anything for the next month. Every time you want something, have it. You don't have to push yourself, just show off your normal life- and get it on film."

Jamie accepted the challenge. He took pictures and videos of every time he ate. Within the first week, Brandon was shocked to find out just how much food went towards keeping Jamie as big as he was. When he said breakfast was light, he wasn't kidding. He was ingesting thousands of calories just from the vending machine while he worked at his desk. One night he ate an entire party-size lasagna by himself and then remarked that "he still had a little space left, maybe dessert would finally top him off." He went to his freezer, grabbed a pint of ice cream he filled with all sorts of treats and toppings and ate it until he was licking the container. The scariest part to Brandon was that most of his videos felt like a confessional; no one was supposed to know all the eating he does, especially not the people in his real life- i.e. Brandon. Jamie was increasingly comfortable admitting to his new internet friends all of his favorite treats and tricks. That's how Brandon found out people put crushed Doritos on pizzas. 

By the time their little challenge was ending, Jamie was on camera complaining how his jeans were getting a little tight. When the two of them met up at a function for a mutual friend, the conversation quickly veered off toward their project.

"You know, I had a lot of fun following your advice in the last month. I don't know when was the last time I got to have so much fun guilt free."

"Really?" Brandon asked. He thought back to a video where Jamie went back to a restaurant after their friend group left to have a second round of food. "I'm glad you've got a new space to do that now."

"Yeah, and the fans are really getting into it. They've got all kinds of food suggestions and the money never stops pouring in. They've been really supportive.”

"Speaking of ‘supportive’, how to put this delicately, has it gotten any harder for some of the things around you to physically support you and your new hobby?"

"Is this your coded way of asking me if I gained weight?"

"Yeah, I'm trying not to be really rude about it in public."

"It's fine. But it has gotten a little harder to wear anything with buttons, nothing wants to close anymore. I've easily put on 15 pounds, maybe even a whole 20."

"20 pounds in a month is pretty fast."

"That's why I was so nervous to start this. My body is an expert at putting on weight."

"So I see. Do you think you'll cut back down to something a little more manageable or-"

"No, I don't think the fans will like that too tough. That's like the one thing that gets them really jumpy. Every time I bring up the word diet or cutting, the comments get flooded with messages about how beautiful I am at this size and begging me not to lose weight."

"And this doesn't concern you at all?"

"I mean at the end of the day, they are people on the internet and this is my body. I get the final say on decisions I make with my body. I can always just lose the weight, right?"

"But it doesn't bother you that people are begging you to get fatter?"

"Honestly, no." Jamie laughed. "Like it sounds weird, but I kind of enjoy it. I mean, look at me. With no extra effort on my part, I gained 20 pounds in a month. If I'm going to keep getting fatter, I might as well do it with people who appreciate me this way."

"If you say so. As long as you're okay with it."

"Yeah, it's fine. All this talking about the channel is making me hungry though and I know I smelled something good earlier. What do you say we check out the snack situation?"

Sooner than expected by all, Jamie was planning on celebrating his first gainer milestone- 400 pounds. Jamie was a little surprised at the number, but his reaction surprised himself more. For a while, the idea of reaching the 400s was enough to send him into a crash diet of nothing but carrots and celery for a couple of weeks until a strong craving hit him right when he was starving. His willpower would fall apart in dramatic style, and his weight would continue its upward trajectory. This time, Jamie accepted it. It was shocking to know he had reached it with so little effort on his part. He expected to reach the 400s in the holidays, not from an extra trip to the vending machine at work. In fact, he didn't feel that much bigger crossing over the line. 

While Jamie might not be excited, his followers were very excited to get the news. They begged to see him step on the scale and watch the magic number appear and sent some extra money to celebrate the accomplishment.. When Jamie saw how big the donations were, he knew he had to try to do something special.  He had exactly one idea, but it made him a little nervous.

"So to... celebrate 400 pounds, I thought I would treat you all to a little sneak peak behind the scenes of the real life behind the fat man. This stuff annoys me, but you all seem to love it so I think you'll have a fun time. These are 4 of my big fat problems." 

Jamie started off by showing his followers the pile of clothes he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. Every article of clothing in the pile was something he had destroyed just from being too fat. Shirts with the buttons popped off, belts where the buckle had been torn off, pants where his thighs had worn down the fabric from rubbing together all the time while he was walking and waddling everywhere, and everything where a seam ripped in defeat from holding back too much fat. More embarrassing than how he knew he was never going to fit back in those sizes, was how he had destroyed those clothes so no one else would ever get to wear them either. Trying to get them fixed would mean admitting that he had done all that damage to these clothes. To complete the exercise, Jamie put on an outfit from the bottom of the pile that looked smaller than he last remembered. The sweatpants were once the pants when he was too bloated to fit his normal clothes until his thighs made a heart shaped hole around the crotch. Years later, he could hardly get them around his legs. The fabric still felt delicate around the inside of his thighs, thin enough that he could practically feel the skin on tthe other leg through his pants. When he made the mistake of reaching for a shirt on the ground, the pants ripped apart all the way up to his ass. Jamie decided that was enough. 

Number 2 was in his dining room. Jamie had a set of chairs that used to be his favorites in the house. He keeps them hidden now because he had two of them collapse under his weight in one night in the middle of a party. He won't use any of them anymore to save himself the embarrassment of using a chair that doesn't match. It doesn't hurt that even if he wanted to sit in one now, the arms on the chair are so narrow that he wouldn't be able to fit his ass in between. Jamie knew his followers would want the painful proof, so he gently lowered his rear end into one. First came the pinch of the arms skewering his doughy flesh, but the more he tried to unload his body in the seat, the more the arms relented against his flesh until they snapped off. With the arms no longer in the way to help slow down the inevitable, all of Jamie’s body plopped in the chair. The chair immediately protested with a loud symphony of moans and creaks. Jamie thought he might be safe from the ultimate embarrassment. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in the chair. Before Jamie could even process what was happening, the chair disintegrated into splinters underneath him. 

Number 3 was deceptively simple: tying his shoes. It took so much effort to do every morning that Jamie actively dreaded the idea that they would get undone during the day. With a large gut permanently sitting in the middle of his body, reaching all the way around to his feet was a challenge. Every day he would try in vain to reach over his belly to tug on his shoes. Getting it done often required contorting his body into ridiculous shapes to bring his leg closer. When he was done, it often left him breathless and tired enough that he considered slides for the rest of his life. 

The last segment of his video involved going jogging outside. In the early spring, the weather was a fairly mild temperature, but you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at Jamie. Jamie purposefully made it short- just one lap around his cul-de-sac.  There was no delusion that he would go far when this would already be one of his longest runs in years. He recorded how his tits and ass and belly all bounced around with every footfall. By the time he was back at his house, Jamie was wheezing and panting. His shirt was wet all over and his face was drenched in sweat. Just a few yards had the ability to completely destroy him. With that, Jamie decided that he had enough. 

Jamie posted and it was a runaway success. All around the clock, Jamie was getting comments online. They cheered him on and told him how beautiful they thought he was. They weren't afraid to tell him just how hot that video was to them. The more comments he read, the more assured he felt that he made the right decision. Why be ashamed of something that made everyone love him more? Maybe this was where he belonged all along. His followers tripled within two weeks. He promised his followers that he would eat whatever they paid for. Jamie tried to sweeten the pot for them too, "If you look back in the archive, you all can tell what kind of guy you're working with when I make promises like that. I eat all sorts of junk and stuff myself whenever I get a chance. I'm also probably not going to burn all of that exercising. If my last video didn't make it clear enough, cardio is not something that has a regular place in my life. So feel at ease, knowing your money is going to a very good cause." Jamie gave his stomach a couple of pats for the camera. 

Suddenly, money started coming in like a water hose. Money was coming into his account, gift cards were getting sent to his email, and presents were showing up at his door. Jamie had full-on supporters now. They were all in, engaging with him whenever he wanted to be there. If he was considering being lazy or having a little extra dessert, someone was always there within seconds to tell him to do it. If he wasn't sure about finishing his meal, there was always a little encouragement waiting for him in his messages. 

His new supporters also came with a bit more edge. They were more willing to speak their mind about the kinds of food he should be eating: fattier, more flavorful, more. They introduced him to shakes; they gave him new concoctions to try to actively help push a few more pounds onto his already very generous frame. It was a new step for him to take. All this time, he hadn't been trying to gain, the weight had found him from trying to have fun. This had all been an adventure in people enjoying who he already was. The last 25 pounds were already a big shock for him, what would happen if he really opened the floodgates and started actively gaining weight? What would people say?   

Nothing he hadn't heard before, something deep inside told him. It was scary to admit, but people had been comfortable saying all kinds of crazy things to him about his size for a long time. 400 might have been a new threshold of big, but he'd been fat enough to draw the ire of folks for hundreds of pounds now. The stares, the jokes, the dire warnings of health concerns, and the snide remarks were already fixtures in his regular life. No one would care if he put on a little more weight, they had already written him off as fat. The only person's opinion that matters is his own...and he was having fun. 

Jamie made a video taste testing some gainer shake recipes for the very first time. His mouth watered watching all these delicious ingredients get added to the blender. He chugged one after another before he came to the realization that each one of those glasses was the calorie equivalent of a full day's eating. "Maybe I overdid it," he admitted on camera.  The comments assured him he was on the right path. 

One evening a few months later, Jamie was meeting up with his friends to celebrate a birthday. He was trying to inhale the rest of the McDonald's he had picked up on the way in his car. When he heard a tap on his window, he was startled. Brandon was leering in. Jamie rolled down the window. 

"Jamie, are you actually eating in the parking lot of a restaurant that you're about to enter?"

Jamie looked to the pile of food on the passenger seat and accepted lying was not an option. "Yes."

"Oh my God." 

"Look, I know this isn't the best look, but I had to do something. My appetite has been growing a lot lately-"

"From the amount of stretching your stomach's been doing for the channel."

"-and I don't want to pig out at every meal that I have in public. I already eat more than everyone else, I don't need to keep adding fuel to the fire. You and I both know they really only tolerate all of this," Jamie jiggled his belly, "because we've been friends for such a long time."

"Yeah, but you've got to admit that this is getting out of hand. You've gained like a hundred pounds in the last year or so, and when you started this you were worried about how big you already were."

"But when I started this, I was also deeply insecure about the idea of even showing my body in public. Now I have people in my life who are genuinely excited about me doing the things I love the most and are happy to see me be me."

"I'm not sure this is you guiding you along. Feels a little more like the tail wagging the dog. "

"Brandon, you know my life better than anyone at this point. I want you to think back to my videos. Have you ever seen me this happy in my life?"

"No. I want to say I have, but I haven't."

"Exactly. Believe me when I tell you that I'm okay. I'm enjoying myself. I'm in control of the situation. I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't like it."

"Okay, but I think you should know you're starting to get to the deep end of all this stuff. I'm not going to be able to help you so much as you keep growing."

Jamie didn't take that as a warning at the time. He was more than content to catch up on Brandon's life while he ate. He had dessert after dinner and a midnight snack. Jamie kept on, knocking back gainer shakes like it was water.  The only thing that gave him pause came while he was on the watch out to hit 500. Jamie went to his manager after his desk chair broke in a second place in one month. It had been a bit of a fight to get them to give him a big and tall chair in the first place back when he was cresting 300 and breaking it was not going to lead to a pleasant conversation. 

"Look, I understand that we live in a body positive society now and the company is really trying to work on being more inclusive, but this is too much. We can't keep doing this. It might be easier to swallow the fact that you are now too big for a big and tall chair if it wasn't clear to everyone that you're also spending more time eating in your work day than actually working. Every paper that crosses your desk leaves with crumbs and grease stains and your numbers are slipping to the point that you're now last in the division. It's time for you to go."

Suddenly, Jamie was back in a crisis all over again. This time, though, he already had a lifeline. Donations had reached a fever pitch in the past few weeks and it was only going to keep increasing. The only real problem was that Brandon wasn't going to be able to help him find a new avenue to expand his business. Jamie turned to his followers, telling them all of his woes with the hope a savior would emerge. 

He got another warning in his direct messages from another gainer. "Be careful what you wish for. The bigger you get, the more you're going to find people who are serious about this. The dark end of this community will drag you in if you're not prepared to handle it. There are guys who will keep pitching in with a meal or two, and guys who will take over your life." 

That was what we had in mind when he met with Tom. Tom was a slender man who wore a dark suit and a sly smile. Tom had watched his videos since the very beginning. The bigger he got, the more active he had become in the comments. 

"It's such a pleasure to get to meet you in person. I wish it was under different circumstances."

'Well these don't have to be sad either.”

“I didn’t say they were sad; I only wish they were different. I think every man of your… stature should be excited by the prospect of leaving your job to spend the rest of your days eating and having a good time.”

“Well I don’t know if it’ll be the rest of my days.”

“I can’t imagine after this little experiment you’ll be begging to be back working a 9 to 5.”

“I can’t imagine I’ll enjoy being unemployed.”

“It’ll help when you stop thinking of yourself as unemployed and more as a full-time content creator.”

“Right…what's the catch?”

A few months later, Jamie was living in the lap of luxury. Tom hired someone to come around every day to take care of chores and get him whatever food he wanted. (Tom had also hired him to ensure that food was now always within arms reach and Jamie did as little physical labor as possible.He would get a bonus ever time he could sneak in appetite stimulant or weight gain shakes into his diet) Jamie spent the first couple weeks just testing his new helper on the lengths they would go for his every craving. He never found something he wanted that wouldn’t show up for him in multiple greasy bags ready to be devoured. Catering pans filled with burritos or lasagna would show up whenever he wanted. 

Jamie was glad for the extra hands around the house because it meant he could devote all his time to his favorite hobbies. He could binge watch shows and play video games for days. The internet would graciously supply him with any kind of entertainment to keep his mind distracted while giant bags of chips disappeared into his maw. 

The best part, Jamie thought, was having Tom around. All the nagging voices of his coworkers were replaced with Tom’s. He would come over when he got a break or after work, usually toting a bag filled with Jamie’s favorite treats. While Jamie shamelessly licked his fingers and the bag for every morsel, Tom would whisper into his ears how sexy he found him. He would tell Jamie how proud he was every time he found fresh fat and stretch marks while he caressed his body. Whenever Jamie got nervous and embarrassed about outgrowing clothes, Tom would celebrate and order in the finest meals he could find. Tom had transformed unemployment into being the best thing that ever happened to him. 

Time slipped away and pounds piled on. The bubble of indulgence burst when Brandon paid Jamie a surprise visit. The helper opened the door slightly and Brandon barged in. 

“Jamie, I think there’s something you should- dear Lord! What the hell?” Brandon took in the full extent of Jamie’s new level of obesity. He would check in on videos occasionally, but months had passed since he last saw him in person.  “The camera really doesn’t do justice on how big you look.”

“That’s what Tim says too. He says I’ll waste away if I’m not careful.” Jamie let out a nervous chuckle that shook his bean bag sized belly. 

“Brandon, do you know how much Tim is keeping from you? Do you even know how much you weigh?”

“Well I got fired around 500 and we just did a milestone video not too long ago, so I figure I should be in the early 600s.”

“That milestone video was for 700 and that was six months ago.”

“Well time sort of gets away from you when you don’t have to be at work five days a week. But I’m making the best out of the situation. I’ve got great TV and these delicious snacks that honestly taste like butter and sugar.”

“It probably is just lard and sugar,” Jamie said. “And this isn’t raising any red flags for you? Aren’t you worried about fitting through doors anymore?”

“Not since we widened them all. I had a few incidents where I got stuck.”

“A few?”

“Well the first time, I thought it was a freak accident, but then it kept happening and each time it was harder for me to get out. There was one time Tim was going to grease me up to get me out the door with some butter, but I had already eaten it all during a feeding session.”

“And again, you’re okay with all this? A man just emerges from the internet and you let him feed you off a cliff?”

“Honestly, it didn’t take as much convincing as you might think. Tim has this belief that just some people were born to be fat and that’s it. That being fat is our role to play in the world. And like I probably could’ve gone into the job market and fought for another boring job I don’t even like just to make ends meet, but my other option was to be perfectly fine doing exactly what I want to do. I enjoy eating and lounging around all day and the more I do it, the bigger I get, the more money I make to spend on food and fun stuff. Outgrowing clothes, furniture, my car- it’s all just a part of my life at this size. It’s been a part of my life for years now, decades almost. And the price to pay- the stuff that my doctors used to say to scare me- I’ve made my peace with it. I’ve spent too much trying to be scared by it already. One more cake isn’t going to make the difference.”

“Give up, he’s already made up his mind.” Tim said, emerging without warning. “This is who he is now. He’s settled completely into a life of being fed and pampered. Now all he wants in life is to keep growing for me and his subscribers. That strong-willed guy you used to know is gone. He’s accepted life as a fat boy. .’

The doorbell rang. The caretaker opened the door and in came a man in a polo with a gigantic grease stained brown paper bag. The smell of all kinds of food filled the house. Jamie looked at Brandon who was licking his lips. Brandon couldn’t contain his excitement. Brandon said, stunned, “This is really your life now. This is what fills your life with happiness. Do you even have any of your mobility left?”

“Of course I do. Look, I’ll go fetch my mid-afternoon snack from the kitchen myself.”

“Snack?”

Brandon rocked back and forth, trying to get some momentum. For a brief second, he made it off the chair. Then the momentum switched directions. The weight of a family of four slammed into the sofa. The wooden frame underneath let out a scream before the whole left side broke into pieces. 

“Are you okay?” Tim yelled out. 

“Let me help you back up.” Jamie stretched out his hands. 

“No, I can get up by myself.” Brandon tried the trick again. He rocked back and forth and hauled himself up with a mighty groan. Breathlessly, he said, “I told you I could do it.”  

Brandon waddled slowly towards the kitchen. Every thunderous step shook the house, rattling anything not nailed down. It was hypnotizing watching the dimpled folds of his body pillow-sized thighs brush past each other. His gut swung like a pendulum back and forth out of the bottom of his shirt. Every movement made his shirt slide further up his belly until it was blocked by his chest. The sound of his panting was hard to ignore as it grew louder. It didn’t seem like a long distance from the sofa to the kitchen counter, but when Brandon got there, it was like he had completed a marathon. Everyone was stunned by the sight, except for Brandon. 

“All of this is for me, right?” Brandon said, catching his breath, “I’ve been hungry since I finished my second round of lunch an hour ago.”  Brandon tore apart the bag and stuffed a fistful of seasoned fries into his mouth while he rifled through the containers. 

[gabessquishytum]

CEO Dream is a camboy, he wears a mask and does it for stress release; merger company CEO Hob is one of Dream's best clients.

For a number of reasons, CEO Dream Endless needs to relax. He's been running the family business since he got out of school. It's not the original path he wanted to take (even doing his art doesn’t really relax him anymore), but he's good at it and the business is doing well.

When he was in school, Dream might have relaxed by being a camboy. He developed a strong following and a number of high-spending clients. He was always masked and at best people who watched his feed saw his raven tattoo (but since CEOs aren't naked in board rooms, no one sees the tattoo anymore). But he was free to follow directions and show off and get off for his internet "friends". He had one regular, RG, who gave the best "instructions".

When he agreed to take over running the family business, he shuttered his website and just stopped responding to chats and emails. There are times he misses it and RG. But it's been years.

Still, Dream is so stressed right now. The company is merging with the Gadling organization. The merger is a good thing, but he wants to change the organizational structure and continue working with Gadling Org CEO Robert Gadling, Jr, Hob. It is nerve-wracking. Dream has never had to share governing responsibilities, but Hob has good ideas for where to take the company that shouldn't be lost. Hob is so smart and fun. But Dream's getting so much push back from the family.

He just needs to RELAX.

Again, it's been years, but Dream just can't not - he'll reopens his cam site,,,,just for him; just this once. There is no way that any of his regulars (RG) would still be around. Besides he's older now, not the same twink he was when he first did it.

When the notification popped up that Raven was livestreaming. Hob couldn't believe it. That beautiful boy dropped of the face of the earth a few years ago. Hob was devastated when it happened. One minute Hob was spending every bit of money and free time he had glued to his computer watching a sex demon angel perform his every wish, the next nothing.

Hob kept up his "RG" moniker and subscription notification for the site active on the hoped chance that his beauty came back. So the notification was a welcome surprise, but it's been years.

What could the reactivation from the site even mean.........

Oh, god! Raven was older, but still so beautiful. Hob was again in so much trouble.

Oh, so SPICY.

For a while, everything is normal for Dream and Hob. The merger is running smoothly, they're working well together and troubleshooting the issues that crop up quite easily. And for Raven and RG, things are going well too. Raven keeps streaming intermittently and he's THRILLED to see RG pop up and message him every time. No one seems to mind that Raven isn't quite so skinny and wide eyed as he used to be. In fact he gets more compliments that ever.

And perhaps the two words would never have collided. But then, Hob and Dream find themselves together, working very late. There's a big deadline for a project coming up and a few complications have come up, so they've decided to work into the early hours and just get the issues solved.

Until Dream upends a pot of cold coffee down the front of his shirt. Sleep deprivation be like that. He has no choice but to take the shirt off, and it's soaked into his undershirt too so that has to go... and he doesn't notice that Hob is staring until its too late. The raven tattoo on the left side of his ribcage is fully on show.

Hob clearly recognises it. His eyes are so wide it's almost comical. Dream feels his face during deep, deep crimson and he starts sweating hard. He never, ever imagined that this would happen.

"If it makes it any better, I'm very much a long term fan." Hob whispers. "You probably wouldn't recognise it but my screen name is RG."

Oddly enough, that makes it a lot better. Suddenly Dream isn't thinking of jumping out of the window into the street below. All he can think about is everything he's ever done for RG - all the time he's edged himself and begged for relief, all the times he's fucked himself on dildos and watched RG say the prettiest little thing I've ever seen, such a sweetheart, aren't you a good boy for me? In the chat.

Hmm. Maybe the project can wait until a more reasonable hour of the day. Because the truth is, Dream can see the bulge in the front of Hob’s nice work slacks, and he's not going to think about anything else until it's inside him.

Get ready for a Raven x RG collab, coming soon...

[luminouslune]

hi I have a request for andteam

When you cried because you think you don't deserve them

It's okay if you are busy i will wait

Ok have a good day

Sweet nothings

&team x reader

Genre: fluff, angst

A/n: Sorry for the late reply! Thanks for the request!! Enjoy!

Koga Yudai (K)

He had just come back from the studio and the first thing his eyes met with was you curled up in the corner of the couch, tears littering your face. His heart dropped and he quickly went to your side. "Hey, hey, what's wrong..?" He asked softly, taking your face gently in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. His eyes looked at you with concern. You quietly looked up at him with watery eyes. "I... got in my head again..." You replied quietly. "I've been trying my hardest lately to look on the bright side of things but then there's always something bothering me." You explain quietly. He looked down, pulling you against his chest. "What's bothering you love..?" He asked, running his fingers through your hair. "I don't feel like I'm enough.. to you, everyone, myself..like am I doing enough to show you that I love you, am I doing enough so people know that I'm a good person with good intentions and motives..? I just.. I dunno." You said with a sigh, eyes trained onto the ground. "You're more than enough.. and don't let anybody tell you that you're less than that.. what's got you thinking like this love..?" He asked, kissing your forehead. You shrugged, glancing at him. "Oh Y/n..." he said, giving you a sad smile. He made it his mission to get rid of all of the dark thoughts that littered your mind, he'd do it for hours if it meant you'd be okay.

Murata Fuma

He held you tightly in his arms as you cried your eyes out. You guys have been together for quite a bit and he had never seen you this upset before. "Y/n, you're more than enough for me. I wouldn't ask for anyone else. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, I really do. I want you, your flaws, your imperfections, your mistakes, everything that comes with you. You worry to much honey.." He said, looking down at you. You softly smiled at him, feeling reassured. "Thank you.." You said softly, burying yourself into his warmth. "Of course sweetie." He replied, pulling you in closer.

Byun Euijoo (EJ)

One of your friends led EJ to the practice room you broke down in. "I have no clue what's wrong.. I was hoping you would.." She said, opening the door for him. He sighed with a small frown. "Thanks." he said, walking in and quickly pulling you into a hug. Quiet, choked sobs were all that left your lips as he held you, he didn't ask any questions he just tried his best to calm you down. It's not the first time this has happened so he knew what to do. "Shh.. breath angel.." he spoke softly, gently rubbing up and down your back. That's all you needed to feel better, just to be held and understood, and EJ had that for you.

Wang Yixiang (Nicho)

You automatically went to find Nicho as soon as you felt tears stream down your face. Gently knocking on his door. He almost immediately opened it just to be met with your tears stained cheeks and furrowed eyebrows. "N-Nicho..." You said quietly with a broken voice. "Oh no, Baby.." He said, looking at you worriedly. He pulled you into his room and sat you down on his bed. "Talk to me Y/n.." He said softly, brushing your hair out of your face. Tears automatically began to spill out from your eyes once again. "They said I wasn't good enough.. for you or for anyone.." You said quietly. He took you hand, gently caressing it. "What..? Baby who..?" He asked. "The girls.. at work.. they won't shut up about it.." You replied. He sighed, slightly irritated, this wasn't the first occurrence with those girls. "Baby, ignore them.. I know it's hard but, know that it isn't true okay..? You are enough. Especially for me, okay..?" He said softly, looking at you. You nodded. "Okay.. "

Nakakita Yuma

You hated the Internet, you hated it with all of your heart. You could never understand how people could make up the meanest comments about you, and they didn't even know you. You sat on the ground, scrolling through the endless horrible hate comments. You hoped you could at least find one positive one but no. Yuma had walked in, unnoticed by you. Suddenly a gentle hand took the phone from your hands and turned it off. Yuma crouched down to your eye level, looking at you with worried eyes. "Why do you do this to yourself precious..?" He asked softly, wiping your tears away. He pulled you closer to him, kissing your head. "You're enough Y/n."

Asakura Jo

You had been hanging out in the studio as Jo practiced with a dance partner. You watched as they bonded fairly easy and how the their movements perfectly paired with each other. Sitting there in thought. Should I even be with him right now? Why would he want to be with a no body? He should date one of those ethereal idols that were up his alley. You sighed quietly and got up, leaving the studio to go outside. You sat on a bench just waiting for all of this to be over. "Hey you okay..?" Jo asked, walking out of the buildings front door with his bag, assuming he was just about ready to leave. "Oh-yeah.." You nodded, glancing over at him. He sighed quietly and sat next to you. "Alright, what's wrong..?" He asked softly. "Nothing." You responded blankly. "No, I know somethings wrong, the Y/n I know doesn't act like this." He said. "Are you sure you wouldn't be happier with someone else..?" You asked, finally turning to him. Your question had caught him off guard. "What..? No, of course not. Y/n, I wouldn't be with you right now if I didn't like you." He said softly. You sighed quietly. "Sorry.. I don't mean to doubt you." You apologized. "Don't apologize.. sometimes you just need a bit of reassurance." He said with a small smile, gently pecking the corner of your mouth.

Shigeta Harua

At school a lot people found Harua attractive. Which is fine you had thought so too of course, but as a foreigner a lot of people didn't seem to like the fact that you were with him. And of course that came with a lot of looks and people talking behind your back. Usually you had no problem tuning their voices out. However, recently it's been getting to you. Eventually their voices became too loud to handle. "Can I use the bathroom?" You asked the teacher, she gave you the nod of approval and you darted out the door of the classroom. You went inside of a stall and sat on top of the toilet to cool off. What the hell is going on with me? I was totally fine, why all of a sudden? You slightly jolted up as you got a message from your phone.

Harua💌: hey, are you alright? Wya?

Y/n: all good, I'll be back

Harua💌: typing...

You closed your phone before he could reply and headed out the stall, you purposely waited until it was time for lunch, walking out of the bathroom you of course ran into Harua. "You're being weird, what wrong?" He asked, lifting your head up by your chin, forcing you to look at him. "... I don't know.." You spoke truthfully, tears threatening to spill. "I used to be perfectly fine, had no trouble ignoring what they say about me but now it's hard to ignore, they won't stop.." you said quietly, tears streaming down your face. "Love..." he said with a small frown, pulling you into a hug. "You're alright.. you'll be okay.." He reassured you softly.

Takayma Riki (Taki)

His friends never seemed to like you much. You could never understand why, you weren't a bad person. "Taki could do better." "He could pull anyone, and he settled for her?" "Bro what are you doing?" You sighed quietly and left the conversation, walking away from them. You hear Taki scold them from behind you as you walked off. You heard some yelling but chose to tune out the words. "Y/n!" He yelled. He caught up to you, taking your hand. "I'm so sorry.. they don't know what they're talking about. Don't worry about them, they're irrelevant." He spoke, taking your face in his hands. "Your perfect." He said with a soft smile, looking at you with love struck eyes. And you of course couldn't help but smile back at him.

Hirota Riki (Maki)

You had been avoiding Maki all day, and he knew it, he was worried that he had done something wrong. He had let it slide for the school day, but when you didn't respond to his text he went to your house. You sighed quietly as you went to open the door, already knowing it was him. "Hey.." I said quietly. My eyes glanced at everything but him. "You're avoiding me." He said. You glanced at him then glanced away. "No I'm not." you denied. "Then look at me." he said, taking a step closer to you. You hesitantly looked up at him, tears pooling in your eyes. "Schatz, what's wrong..?" He asked softly with a frown, even though he already knew what was wrong, he always knows what's bothering you. You didn't reply, leaning your head onto his chest with a quiet sob. He looked down at you worriedly, wrapping his arms around your waist. He wasn't going to make you spit it out, but he'd be there when you were ready to.

[demonproofboi]

ok, putting my thoughts in order

I get the why. youtube sucks and each year that passes, it sucks more. they have a company and employees, and they've said before that watcher wasn't actually making a profit. it is way too harsh to say they're too greedy or "just like buzzfeed" or other stuff I've seen thrown around. they deserve to get money for their work, we are not entitled to free content, etc! I agree with all that.

the thing is though... I don't see how this could feasibly work? like, putting aside how most people are fed up with the sheer amount of streaming platforms popping up lately, the way I see it, their content does not have enough variety to warrant a paid subscription. and if it were to become varied enough, it would probably need a bigger cast and shows run by different people. and the problem with that is that we can't deny that the main appeal of watcher is how much people care about shane and ryan and (it pains me to say this, you all know he's my favorite but, to a lesser extent) steven. a ton of us are here because we wanted to keep watching them. for the people, not the shows, essentially. that is very clear when you look at the views of their shows.

idk, what I mean to say is, I don't see how they could have a catalog of content that justifies paying a monthly subscription if you're not a very avid fan willing to support them just because they're them, and even then those avid fans might end up dissatisfied because either a) a lot of the content will not include the people they want to see or b) the content will not be frequent enough. maybe I'm wrong and there is a third option here but, let's be real, there's gotta be a limit to how many different shows they can put shane and ryan in to have a varied catalogue and frequent upload schedule. and if it's not them in those shows, we bump into problem a.

I know the topic of whether or not $5.99 is a lot of money also became a reason for fights around here. this is what I have to say, as an international fan: depending on what country you're from, it's the sort of expense you just can't justify. like, the sort of money you shouldn't even spend on netflix with its very extensive selection of content. the sort of money you could use to pay a whole bill, buy groceries for a week, a month even! as it stands, here in brazil, for now, it's not really feasible. R$312 a year is a ton of money for me and I can't even say I'm struggling financially.

still on this topic, it is really hard not to take this "affordable to anyone and everyone" thing to heart being someone outside of the US, because it is the sort of thing that happens again and again, this sort of americentrism the internet at large seems to be stuck in. when they outright say they view this price as affordable to everyone it's very clear they have not taken international fans into consideration or they just don't really care. if they hadn't said that with so much certainty, maybe I'd feel a little less hurt. and you know, whatever, it's my feelings vs the needs of a company, and companies are not your friends but! ever since the beginning, the relationship between us and them has been very parasocial. lol it's like a good friend of mine said something that hurt my feelings. although maybe that's my own fault for placing them in that role in my head in the first place.

anyway, idk if this makes sense, the goal here isn't even to pick a side or tell anyone they're wrong... as with most things this is just too complicated for that. what I can say is that the way they went about this could have been a lot better. and for now what I am feeling is that this is eventually going to crash and burn but well, I just really hope I'm wrong. they deserve good things.

[love-toxin]

I can't get anal king Steve out of my head... I think you even mentioned smth about porn star anal king Steve?? he lives in my brain, he's haunting my house, he's standing in front of my windows at night, he's under my skin, etc etc. I would let Stevie take my anal virginity on a live stream <3

heheh i wasn't gonna expand on this yet cuz i have several fics in progress with this concept HOWEVER

(cws: pornstar!steve, f!angelface, anal, somnophilia, modern au, some cnc, impact play, voyeurism, degradation/humiliation kink, aftercare, this is just pure filth im sorry)

big, bad, Anal King Steve (that's his phub title and his @ on twitter) absolutely devoted to turning you into his little slut for all the viewers <3 but you're not like any other creator he collaborates with, any other talented professional that he would film with in a studio with plenty of staff to equalize it all, to make it into the perfect production to send out for all those dedicated fans to watch.

no, you're different. he doesn't just call you a slut to make it hotter for the audience--he shows you how much of a slut you are because he wants to get off, because you're his, and he wants you so hooked on him that you can't get enough of the way he treats you.

he posts pictures and videos to his personal twitter all the time with you, in fact that's pretty much the only place that anybody sees his raw content that isn't filmed in the studio. and it's all with the same partner, the cute little slut in the dim lighting of his bedroom, crying and moaning as your blind date and one night stand-turned-boyfriend pounds you within an inch of your life. Steve kinda just assumed the title because you were so cute and clearly liked him so much on that first date, enough so that you had shyly invited him in afterwards and even encouraged him to go further when he laid a hand on your thigh as you cuddled, the movie in the background tuned out completely as you started kissing at his neck and eventually had your pussy eaten out like he hadn't touched someone in ages, even though it's literally his job. and now he's your boyfriend, and you live in his nice, clean apartment, and he fucks you so good every day that you almost feel like you're a professional fleshlight--and Steve makes so much money when he livestreams it that you don't even know what to do with the cut he gives you.

"cute, eh? she likes it when you try to push in dry," he always loves talking to the viewers while he manhandles you, thudding the fat tip of his cock against your asshole as you lay face-down ass-up on the edge of his bed. but even moreso than that, he loves talking down to you every time you're onscreen, really playing up that degradation factor as he grabs you and yanks you around, spitting violently against your hole and rubbing it in with those vile sounds making him grin, so pleased with himself that you always start shaking before he even puts it in. "show it off, sweetheart. they've all watched you lose your innocence to me, i don't think you've got much left to hide." he snickers, squeezing your cheeks and jiggling them for a laugh before he lets go and slaps you across each one, cooing mocking praises when you shiver and yelp at the sting. "my pretty fucking buttslut. you'd cry if i put it in your pussy, wouldn't you? cause you want it up the ass so bad."

that's what you are: king Steve's anal slut, his favourite little toy to beat with the back of his hand until your ass and your pussy and your tits are all sore, the one that viewers everywhere look on at with envy at getting to be the one that's whored out to the internet's favourite adult star. Stevie loves it when you flip that card around on your nightstand to yes, so he can creep in on you while you sleep with his phone set up on the tripod, filming one of those coveted times that he can wake you up with his cock buried in your poor, tight little ass or stuffed down your throat. sometimes he films up close with his phone in his hand, so he can quietly mock you for the viewers about how wet your pussy gets when he's not even touching you there--how you love anal so much you start leaking just from having his fingers up your ass. he loves it when he's fucking you slow, and you stir and start mumbling as you gradually come to, and Steve just shushes you and strokes your hair while gently pushing your head back down into the pillows, urging you to get back to sleep sweetheart, he's just gotta cum so stay still like a good girl til then. although he also likes it when you pretend like you're all scandalized when you wake up, when you're feeling bratty, and he has to change position to shove his foot down on the back of your head, so he can keep you from running that spoiled little mouth as he fucks your cute butt raw.

that humiliation aspect is a big factor altogether. Steve likes to live by the philosophy that fucking your ass will reform any bad behavior, so that's exactly what he uses to punish your brattiness <3 he's so hung that you can never really get used to it, too, so he uses that to his advantage--be a bad girl, and Stevie will tease you with threats of fucking you so hard, and so loose, that you'll be left gaping when he's done and he'll have to plug you up just to keep his cum inside where it belongs. although that's not an uncommon occurrence at all, he's got plenty of teaser videos of him lifting up your skirt somewhere semi-public and showing off the pretty little buttplug he's left nestled inside you, sometimes pushing it around so you cling to him and whimper and the audience can see his cum leaking and spilling out around the sides to drip down your bare legs. otherwise, though, he likes to write nasty things on your tits or your belly or your inner thighs to humiliate you, things like "cum here" or "free use" or "breed my ass <3", words that start smudging with your sweat and blotting out with his cum until you're just a shaky, sloppy mess of a human cumrag passed out on his floor.

the comments you get always turn him on, too, and he has particular livestreams where he reads out disgusting compliments people have paid you in his DMs as well as read out the ones coming in from his top donators; things like "i love how much she likes it raw" and "biggest fucking slut on this app" and even "i can only cum when I'm watching Steve fuck this little bimbo's ass <3" until you cry with humiliation, cumming so hard for him in full view of the camera that Steve just has to ride it out and laugh at how much of a crybaby you are. you let him abuse your soft, pretty body, and for what? just so you can cum? fucking pathetic.

but of course, because he's Steve, the second the camera is off he's babying you and pulling you into his arms. kissing your tear streaked cheeks, petting your head, praising you with a wash of compliments about how beautiful you are and how you're such a good girl, he loves you so much <3 and he carries you to the bath to clean you up and rinse you off with the showerhead, warm water cascading down your aching body while he rubs sweet-smelling soap and shampoo into your skin and your hair. and if you're still all subby and clingy after the fact, he definitely doesn't let you do a thing yourself and puts on your pjs for you, grabs your favourite blankets, holds your drink to your lips for you to sip and even feeds you popcorn as you watch a movie, or some leftovers from dinner so you don't get a tummyache when you get hungry later. he may be mean when he's working, but he's the softest boyfriend in the world when it's all finished, and never ends a session without giving you a kiss goodnight and snuggling you up to his chest to sleep away the high.

[ribz4livers]

A pizza doxing or a trip to the dumpster would have been so much better than this...

I am finally trying to be more comfortable sharing my writing with the general public! This is supposed to function as a small introduction to Madeline and the events leading up to her kidnapping just before where TPOF takes place. It isn't very long but depending on the reception, I do want to try my hand and writing more about her and potentially Derek (once I get over my cringe hurdles).

I hope you guys enjoy. 💖

This post contains writing! If you would like to read, please click on the "Keep Reading" below!

Madeline/content belongs to myself (ribz4livers)

TPOF belongs to @/gatobob

Word count: below 1000

🔞 MINORS DNI! 🔞 This includes AGELESS BLOGS! Failure to comply will result in a BLOCK.

“Alright guys! You know the drill, let me know what you think in the comments below or–” the girl on the screen flashes a small but toothy smile, “if you’re watching this live, blow that chat box up! I’ll see you later for my next scheduled live and trust me, you won’t want to miss it!" She held up a hand and gifted a small wave, “Bye-bye and keep yourselves safe!” Cut. That’s a wrap. Madeline leaned over her keyboard, hitting the button on her microphone to end the live audio before quickly doing the same with her webcam, cutting the hundreds of eyeballs ogling her from the shadows of the internet. She sighed, clicking her mouse and scrolling through the chat feed, reading people’s reactions to her most recent stream. “This was disgusting”, “is she actually serious?”, “troll”, etc… There were a few people singing their praises, applauding Madeline for her attention to detail when talking about the Top 5 Most Gruesome Serial Killers of Our Time!!! but she knew they were just knights in shining armor trying to get the attention of their queen. There was no research in these videos; a quick visit to any online encyclopedia and there was all the information she needed. Copy, past, action.

Even with so many people watching her when she hit that “go live” button on her screen, once she ended that stream that was it; no eyes, no reeling chat, just nothing; just her staring back at the wolfish girl in the viewfinder on her screen, all alone. Leaning back in her chair, Madeline again sighed. The reactions she got were good but were they good enough to get the attention of the reaction channels? After her last controversy, rating victims’ outfits, she really needed to step it up a notch if she wanted to keep the notoriety.  “Maybe…Dateable Delinquents? No…too easy…” Madeline muttered to herself, grabbing her phone. She checked her texts. It had been over 6 hours since she had last looked at her phone anyway, right? Something had to be there by now.

“Tch…” Madeline clicked her tongue as there were no texts from anyone. Oh well, in the meantime she could go for a dose of fresh air. Maybe visit that cute café down the road and get ahead on her next script or finally start on that essay she had due today before midnight.

Making her way to the vanity, Madeline kicked a medium sized box out of the way, the useless artifacts from a time past rattling around and hopefully breaking in the process. She glanced at the box as she passed, taking note of the neatly written address on one of its half opened flaps. Clearly a woman's writing. She would have to make a trip to the apartment dumpster soon, what a fucking pain.

Once sat in front of the vanity mirror, Madeline began touching up her appearance. She already had her makeup done, never appearing on streams or videos without it, but it couldn't hurt to fix her hair and adjust her outfit in accordance with today's weather: drab and weary. 

Just her and the girl in the mirror now. Her eyes were too yellow, her ears too tall, nails too thick and teeth far too sharp. Madeline flashed a smile at the glass but shame pricked her lips before they stretched too far. Well behaved girls don't bare fangs.

She began to brush her hair carefully, taking extra care to give it that desired, signature flip she was known for–at least if she had people who knew her–and for a moment thought about a time when her hair was much longer, harder to style; no, it wasn't that it was harder to style but that she wasn't allowed to style. Once again Madeline thought about that box sitting only a few feet behind her. Impulsively grabbing her phone again Madeline opened the screen. Still nothing. The phone made a loud clack as she set it back down on the table with a little more force than before and continued her grooming.

Madeline was lost in teeth, boxes, scripts but was suddenly interrupted by what sounded like a door, her door, getting softly knocked. It wasn't expected but it wasn't unwelcome either. Maybe it was one of those pizza doxings she had heard so much about from her time lurking on the internet farms. The thought of someone going through all that effort just to send her a free lunch made the girl smile, fangs poking over her elongated lips. How sad were these keyboard warriors? 

Another knock.

Madeline got up, doing a once over in the mirror and began making her way to the door, all smiles, "hold on, I'm coming."

Silence.

Without checking the peep hole, Madeline opened the door wide but her giddy expression clouded once she saw there was in fact no pizza, only two large bodies dressed in dark colors and obscured faces.

"Hi…Madeline?" One of them asked in a voice that sounded fake, filtered and suspicious.

There was no time for her body much less her mind to react. There was no sixth sense, no hair standing on edge and no words; and apparently these people needed no answer. Before Madeline could utter a word, she felt something pressed to her mouth, a cloth, and next there was only black–

A pizza doxing or a trip to the dumpster would have been so much better than this.

[msviolacea]

why you should play elder scrolls online in 2023

Okay, I've been considering making posts about "why to play X game I love" but finally decided "what the hell, no time like the present." And since ESO is on my mind today, it gets first dibs!

What is ESO??

It's an MMO set in the Elder Scrolls universe - think Skyrim, Oblivion, Morrowind, etc. It's the Elder Scrolls theme park in the same way that FFXIV is the Final Fantasy theme park. But, in the same way, it's not exclusively for people who have experience with the previous games - it's a fun, immersive fantasy world whether you know anything about previous lore or not.

You should play ESO if ...

You like immersive fantasy worldbuilding. Listen, if there's one thing the Elder Scrolls team can do, it's worldbuild like motherfuckers. Do you want a story that reaches back thousands of years and covers dozens of countries/empires/territories, where you can find lorebooks around every corner, and expansive essays on the internet about the briefest of details? ESO has you covered.

You love overland exploration. This is ESO's bread and butter. The explorable areas are expansive and varied and absolutely gorgeous, and the game is built for the player who just wants to travel and collect things and see the sights. Tamriel has pretty much every biome you can imagine - you want medieval Britain? Head for High Isle! You want an Arabic-style desert? Alik'r Desert is your place! Rugged arctic landscape? Listen, there are FOUR SEPARATE Skyrim areas for you. You're like "I just want weird fantasy things that don't look like anywhere on earth?" Vvardenfell and its surrounding areas have you covered. You can explore as you play the story, you can go on a hunt for the perfect screenshot location, you can find an RP location that fits your character exactly, you can make it your goal to complete every exploration achievement in the game ... you can do it all.

You want a game where exploration isn't gated behind your level. ESO made the switch to what they call "One Tamriel" fairly early in their development cycle - this means that all mobs and quests are synced to your level in the overworld, and you can start or go anywhere you want no matter how low level you are. You can play through the storyline in release order, or you can say "I want to start in the newest expansion," or you can go "listen I'm only here for vampires in Western Skyrim," all of these are valid and possible ways of playing. You don't have to go "man the new expansion looks great but I have to put in HOW many hours to get there??" It's all available to you from level 1!

You love decorating houses. Listen, if there is one thing ESO does better than any other MMO (at least the ones I've played), it's the housing system. You can own ALL THE HOUSES. SO MANY HOUSES. Small and large and every conceivable style! You can buy land with no house on it, and build your own structures! You can decorate without having to learn how to glitch or press six buttons at once! And housing feeds very well into the rest of the gameplay - you earn furnishing plans from pretty much every conceivable gameplay system, so it becomes an excellent reason to go do your daily stuff and explore. And the housing community in ESO is one of the most creative groups I've ever seen, I could watch their YouTube videos and streams forever.

You like MMOs that allow you to play mostly solo. None of the story progression is gated behind the need to group up. There is plenty of group content, but it's all optional. There are bosses across the landscape and in public dungeons that require multiple people to kill, but you'll always come across people who want to help kill them without having to group up. And with the last few expansions, you now have companions - NPCs you can unlock and have follow you around everywhere. They can be set and geared to perform any role - tank, healer, DPS - and the AI is good enough at any of those to get you through pretty much anything overland you want to do. (And as a side note, some of the companion quests are really good, and they've been getting really, really good voice actors for the companions themselves - see: Laura Bailey, Brandon Keener - and they have fun dialogue as you wander.)

A couple of caveats:

If you play for story, your mileage will vary. Don't get me wrong, ESO has some very, very good stories within it! But it's not a linear story a la FFXIV or single player MMOs - it has a main storyline for the base game zones, and each DLC/expansion has its own storyline that sometimes connects into what happened in the base game, but for the most part ESO's story is a fragmented experience, and you have to go searching for the stories that connect most with you. Can you find them? Yes, but be ready to put in the time to look. (My personal recommendations? The vampire story that starts in Rivenspire and continues in Western Skyrim and The Reach is my absolute favorite; Elsweyr is also very good, but is more of a direct continuation of the base game story than anything else, so would probably need that context going in. A good portion of the fanbase will cite the larger Morrowind-Summerset storyline as the best the game has, and it's very good, but didn't quite stick with me as much as the others mentioned.) ESO tends to be more about the story of the world at large than about the stories of individual characters.

And speaking of story, the game is absolute balls at directing you to places where starting the story would make the most sense. If you want to experience the story in a vaguely linear fashion, here's what to do when you create a character - immediately head to whatever city is your chosen faction's starting city (Daggerfall, Auridon, or Stonefalls), and wander around until you trigger the "Soul Shriven in Coldharbor" quest. That starts the base game main story, and is the best place to start as a brand new player. The other tip: the fancy striped quest markers are indicative of the "main" story quest in each zone, do those when at all possible.

And speaking of factions, those only matter if you want to play PvP - and only Cyrodiil and Imperial City PvP at that. Otherwise, it's just flavor these days.

In conclusion:

ESO is my comfort "explore and collect" game - I find it very chill to just wander around, level new characters, dig up antiquities (ANTIQUITIES, my favorite side system, seriously I could look for leads and dig things up forever), collect materials to sell in my guild trader, and vaguely achievement hunt while listening to music or YouTube. The scenery is beautiful, the character creation is robust and turns out very cool looking characters, and the combat system is simple enough that I easily remember how to do things even if I've been away for a little while. And it is free-to-play, after buying the game; you don't need a subscription to access anything you've purchased, you just miss out on a few good quality of life features. (The craft bag, I could not live without my craft bag, seriously.)

Some version of ESO will be free on the Epic Game store starting tomorrow - my assumption is that it will be the version that contains all DLC/expansions except the Necrom chapter, which was just released last month. I highly recommend picking it up if you play on PC, just to check it out, if anything above sounds appealing to you! (And if you want to splurge, I can very highly recommend Necrom - the new class it introduces is maybe my favorite class to play yet, the two companions it introduces are fantastic, and Apocrypha is a fascinating area to explore if you like creepy eldritch horror type stuff.)

If you want to know more about ESO, just give me a shout! And if you're a mutual who decides to try it, hit me up, I have many gifts to give people!

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

THE most obvious animation mistake in ATSV

We went from 3 spikes to 2 spikes.

Want to know something funny? I notice this in my first viewing.

(OP related an anecdote under the cut, nothing really important.)

Okay so fun story, I notice this the first time I watched this movie, like IMMEDIATELY.

I remember vividly about it because when I saw that three spikes I thought "Oof, that should be looking very awkward on the front."

I don't really draw often, but when I was a kid I had a bit of interest in fantasy outfits and such. I still have the most barebones knowledge on clothing and such, yet when I saw those spikes I thought it would dwarf Prowler's head and look awkward.

And just a few frames later- no third spike, it wasn't dwarfing his head anymore.

Full disclosure, I was stupid high when I saw the movie. Don't ask me why I thought it would be a good idea to see this movie high as fuck (let alone in my first viewing,) so I deadass thought I had somehow imagine it.

The fact that when I came out of the theatre and I saw NO ONE saying anything about it (not friends of mine or the internet,) also made me think this.

[Small addendum, because I imagine I may have minors looking at my blog: 1) Don't do anything until you are on whatever age is legal in your country, 2) I am in Canada so everything I consume is regulated and ergo, a lot safer than you can find on the street. 3) If you aren't 100% lucid in a public place, make sure you have people you trust and are sober around you, so nobody can take advantage of your situation.]

Eventually I saw the movie enough times to realize that no, I didn't imagine anything, it was indeed a mistake.

So why I never said anything?

Well...I was kind of protective about the movie.

At the beginning was me seeing on twitter and a bit of tiktok people being assholes about the diversity in the movie, and the idea that someone would look at the mistake I caught and try to be like "See?! The movie isn't that good! Look at this obvious mistake!" made me enraged.

Then, not so long after I started this blog, the truth about how overworked were the animators came to the light, and the idea of bringing up this mistake made me feel even worse because after all these people had been through, trying to be an smart ass to point out a mistake felt wrong. Specially because as I had said before, regardless of how many things I may or not Spot, this movie is amazing and I love it with all my heart; I didn't want to bring unnecessary grief to anyone.

So, why say anything now?

It has been a few months since it came out, I am starting to notice the fandom growing quieter (maybe it will pick up once this movie is out for free in a streaming service, no idea when or which one would be.) And I feel with all these talks about strikes (which the animators would probably do next year, wishing the best of luck for them,) fair pay and such, I think people may be more open to think "this wouldn't had happened if the movie hasn't been as rushed as it is" rather than "this is movie is bad because it has mistakes."

As I said it in other posts, this is a small mistake at the end of the day. Regardless of how you may or may not feel about these inconsistencies, people in general don't notice nor does interrupt their viewing experience.

This is a movie that juggles layers upon layers of themes, plot lines and deep, complicated characters; it does all the important bits than a lot of other movies out there. Which is what matters at the end.

[ipleadbritney]

ipleadbritney f1 fanfic masterlist

check the title hashtags for more info!!!

🗣️ you know (it kinda makes me laugh)

Lando/Oscar, T, 1.6K multiple povs, 5+1 fic, williams + mclaren chaos

Somewhere between Mr. Piastri and Oscuh, or a name holds meanings and Oscar's name is one of Lando's favorite ways to communicate. Outsiders’ perspectives on the McLaren duo.

🥞 got love-struck, went straight to my head

Lando/Oscar, T, 11K mutual pining, lando crushes hard

Maybe Lando will pull a Carlos in the future, crash into Oscar's new teammate every chance he gets. Lando has no idea how whipped he is for Oscar. Won't even admit he is whipped. Bear with him, please.

🧑🏻‍❤️‍🧑🏽 no proof, not much (but you saw enough)

Lando/Oscar, T, 3.5K magical realism

A soul bond is like any other type of magic; you can buy it in a bottle. Or, to be more precise, you can manufacture it. Oscar and Lando are accused of having an illegal soul bond.

💜 oscar piastri's guide to breaking the internet

Lando/Oscar, T, 4.5K prema boys, sharing clothes

Featuring: a challenge on who will break the internet the fastest, Prema boys, Oscar's confusion, long-distance phone calls, being young, stealing hoodies, and Lando's weirdly helpful antics.

📱 love you, bye

Lando/Oscar, T, 1.7K social media au, relationship reveal

𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗱 | 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗲 ‘𝟮𝟰 @quadrantnondriverau the video won't load for me i’m getting fomo please someone describe it for me what is happening > 𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗮 @childofdivorce644 lando was streaming and someone called him. we don't know who's on the other line but lando ended the call with “i love you, bye” 

🏡for keeps

Lando/Oscar, T, 8.7K spy au, domestic, unreliable narrator

“I had some compelling evidence and you just laughed in my face.” “You can't call Seb wearing a turtleneck ‘compelling evidence’, Lando.” Lando and Oscar's neighbours are international spies, or so Lando tells Oscar. They're just two normal guys, though. Just Lando-and-Oscar.

👻h(a)unted you down Lando/Oscar, T, 3.9K magical realism, ghosts, pining

“Are you sure you're haunted?” A laugh rings out beside Lando. He didn't hear the joke, but he knows the punchline. “Yes,” Lando answers. Or, there's a ghost named Osc that haunts the halls of MTC. Only Lando can see him.

🚪 just to be mean

Max F/Oscar, Lando/Oscar, T, 2.1K max f pov, jealousy

From the outside looking in (which isn't the best perspective to judge from, Max admits), Lando and Oscar communicate exclusively via race data and high-pitched giggles. Oscar has this way of laughing that's funnier than the actual joke. Max would know because, well, because Max used to be the one who cracked the jokes.

📸 scenes from a social media admin

Lando/Oscar, T, 3.7k smau, pr!lando, crack

> 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘃𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺𝘀 @birthdaybars is your job hard? >> 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼 𝗡𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘀 @lnorris Sure it is! But nothing compared to the work in the factory and at the track. I’m usually just at the side >>> 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘃𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺𝘀 @birthdaybars ADMIN DON'T YOU DARE PUT YOURSELF DOWN FAN INTERACTIONS KEEP THE LIGHTS ON AT MTC >>>> 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼 𝗡𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘀 @lnorris haha don't think that's how it works but appreciate it!

👀 jealousy⁴

Lando/Oscar, T, 3.9K jealousy lol

Oscar said something about Arthur, half-asleep. Oscar never said anything about Max. That can't be possible. Or, jealousy can take many forms. Lando Norris encounters four of them.

😘 three-sixteenths

Lando/Oscar, T, 4.3K magical realism, kiss curses

Lando's cursed and has to kiss someone Italian. Good thing Oscar Piastri is his teammate.

[popculturebuffet]

Here Comes Garfield: The Garfield Movie Review!: Colossal, Stupdendous one might go as far to say.. Mediocre (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to here comes garfield, my look at all the garfield specials and now his film career. Which I realize now means I probably have to do Garfield The Movie At Some Point... and... Tale of Two Kittles.. and Pet Force...

That exesntial horror aside, today that means we're looking at the recently released Garfield Movie. The Garfield Movie comes to us from Columbia Pictures, which Sony will never let you forget is 100 years old and they own every year of that now with the 100 years logo they plopped in front of this and Ghostbusters: It Was Meh.

The film has gotten the predictably mixed reactions from a less ambitious kids film: Kids clearly love it, my own niece and nephew included, Critics loathe it and a lot of people who saw it ironically gave it one star on Letterboxd. In other words it'll likely get at least one more sequel and possibly a streaming spinoff on whoever pulls the biggest dumptruck of money up to sony's house.

So let's dig into this film: Why it's such an easy target, how good it really is, what dosen't work, and what delicoius layers it has.

The Chris Pratt Problem

Before we get into the movie, let's get into WHY it became such an easy target. And the first and biggest reason is the simplist: who they choose to play the fat cat the cool cat the nobody's fool cat: Mr Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt's casting became a meme quickly and it's understandable why: Not only was this on the heels of his questionable (if ultimately decent enough) casting in Mario but both castings felt.. Lazy. Like an exec googled "Celebreity Man" and went with the most afforadable option. Pratt isn't a bad actor. As a person... I didn't have the bandwith to full research that and shift out the genuinely douchey actions from the internet herasy. Seems like he might be bit of a dick, can't prove it. But as an actor he can be good: he was great on parks and rec, in the lego movie and in the guardians trilogy. The probelm is like a lot of actors, once he got famous, he started becoming the best imintation of himself: most of his parts like jurassic world tend to just be him doing what people now expect to be Chris Pratt TM performances. For instance Star Lord.. is a fleshed out hot mess of a character, with some depth and some genuinely emotional moments despite often being the butt of a joke. The Guy From Jurassic World.. is just that without the depth or any real character beyond "Raptor Pal who wants to bang Bryce Dallas Howard". It's not all his parts, the bullk is still good, but he's sliding very comfortably into not giving a shit if he dosen't have to and it's not a good look. I love Ryan Renolds but he can also be like that, and his better roles are when he dosen't like Deadpool. For as big a thing as it's become and as much money as he's making you can tell he's making the third one not because it'll make him even richer, but because he loves the part.

With both of these rolls it feels like Chris signed on because

He DOES give it a decent try, being pretty good as mario and alright as Garfield, but it's easy to see why there isn't a ton of enthusasim. When Ben Schwartz got Sonic the Hedgehog he was fukcing pumped, brought it and really sunk into the role. He's easily one of the Blue Blur's best voice actors and you can tell he loves the franchise. I'm not saying you have to love a franchise going into a part.. but it dosen't feel like Chris Pratt really put his soul into it and as corprate as Mario and Garfield are, these are characters with life to them. I'm not saying you can't do a good roll for a paycheck, see Orson Wells as Unicron, but fans aren't going to give you a lot of room if you don't seem to give a shit you got such a big part that is important to them.

I don't think Pratt sinks the film.. but he was far from the best choice. The best choice, in my opinon.. would've been nick offerman. He's a big comedy name, has a lot of talent, has done plenty of voice acting, currently headlining fox's best show The Great North, and has that low sarcastic voice that can be used for a bunch of diffrent moods. Jason Mantzokus is a close second choice as his gravly ness fits garfield and he can both be earnestly sarcastic AND energetic, both things garfield needs. I know the latter is ironic but the guy is emotive when necessary. But putting aside my choices he just feels like he's doing "Chris Pratt". He's good ENOUGH, but the film could've found better and has such a standout cast, including another possible choice in Brett Goldstein, that he sticks out as the guy whose just kinda.. there.. and he's in the lead roll. he's not bad and gets some great deliveries in places, but he's servicable. It's a hard roll to nail, for me only Lorenzo Music and Bill Murray have truly got it, with Frank Welker trying his best but just not quite nailing it. There's a reason there was a bit of a gap before Welker took up the roll: Music is a hard mountain to climb, Murray happens to just exude slacker energy it's not easy. But they could've tried HARDER instead of going with "well generic hollywood guy will sell tickets"

Garfield Sells Out

The next issue is one I can cover pretty quickly:

The Garfield Movie has gotten flack for it's various bits of product placement: Garfield eats POPChips, there's Olive Garden leftovers in the fridge, and his dad orders things from Wall Mart. There's also possible FexEx and Tinder advertisment I missed I found looking at articles or two and credit to the daily best for the first and reddit for the second. There are adds for big corportaions in this film and while that's not NEW , until a discussion with my friend Emma I hadn't realized how much the MCU advertizes (And just for clarity I love a lot of the mcu and Emma is neutral), it is wince inducing in a film primarily aimed at kids. It works decently for adults (raises hand), but I get the target demo and while they get advertised to plenty, it's still scummy to cram this into the movie itself.

I have nothing against the food tie ins: Stouffers doing one for their lasanga is too sensical not to do, as is having olive garden make a cameo in the film itself, Tastykae's garfield cake was adorablea nd delicious, and popchips, while certainly not the kind of greasy snack garfield would gravitate too, are the kind of casual snack food I could see him at least trying... or more accurately Jon buys them, Garfield eats everything else because he assumes like many boomers "Healthy=bad" and finds out he was wrong and orders more. It's still mildly manipulative, but it's nothing new: Kids get sold food to them all the time.

That being said.. it's still fucked up how much product placement is in the film, even if it's spread out well and while I do wish we'd stop getting SO MANY ARTICLES on it included Cracked claming the drones in the film are Sony trying to get kids to accept drones more

I get the impulse: We want to protect children and while I was originally going to be more critical of this, the more I thought about it the more scummy it felt. The Product Placement isn't to say add a layer of authentiity by using a real brand or because it's fun, it's just.. so cheap and blatant. It's just whatever brand wanted that garfield money. The film does HAVE food at the center: Garfield meets John in an itallian restraunt and has to pull a milk heist and neither place is a real life brand.. which begs the question why all the others were flavor blasted in there. There's no real need to shill and the movie would've been fine doing tie ins out of universe. I get we live in a corprate hellscape but you don't HAVE to advertise to chidlren and their parents and to sad middle aged men like me. You can just.. make a movie. Let that be the "product" if your that cynical. All you did to the brands involved is remind people "Oh yeah they sold out in that one movie". Well with Olive Garden if your sonic you also make me go to it .. or this film... but Olive Garden is delicious.

So onto the third major problem had with the film

We've Been Here Before

The third is something I can agree with: the plot is stock as hell. While the film has good points i'll get to, the basic plot is one seen in dozens of other animated films. A hero is thrown out of a lot in life their either happy with or tell themselves they are, but are thrown into a CRAZY adventure by circumstance that they must go on to get that life back while learning something along the way. To prove HOW common this is I decided to go through my film list on Letterboxd and put all of the animated ones I found that adhere to this formula into one image. It wasn't nearly as many as I expected.. but I still found about 40 diffrent films with this formula in some way

And please note this formula in of itself.. isn't a bad one. A lot of great films are made on this premise. To prove this let me take out the films I don't like from this grid

Your still left with a ton of stone cold classics. You'll also notice the breakdown for the original is 1/8th garfield. The first three specials, the first bill murray film and the second dtv film really do all fall into this formula somehow.

The key is that the formula isn't inherently bad: All these films start with the protagonists comfortable or about ot be and whisked into danger but they all go in such diffrent directions. Heartwarming child bonding comedies, a meditation on jealousy and our own realities, betting a black man's freedom in a way that the producers had to know was fucked up, space dolphin played by matt berry, everyone has their own way.

This film... dosen't do anything NEW with it: The film just stacks other animation tropes and cliches on top: you have our hero whose spoiled by what he has, has issues with his parents, has to go on an adventure adressing those issues, deals with a theatrical yet intimidating main villian and their two dumb and sympathetic henchman, gets training from a mentor with a tragic backstory to do a heist, the heist goes bad, the relatoinship that got built up over th efilm is semeingly shattered but OH NO IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING and the climax happens cumulating in everyone being one big happy family.

I could do the grid thing with practically every trope in this movie and it just kinda plays the hits. It reminds me of the Super Mario Movie last year: I liked that one too, but it's mostly carried by the visual spectacle, seeing the creators meticuously turn mario's patchwork world into a living breathing place, to see a giant version of dk island, to see Bowser's Kingdom in all it's glory. It's still a decent film, but it uses a pretty stock framework to do it because either the execs wanted that or the creators didn't feel they had the room to really push it. I could see the same problem here as you have Sony, Viacom and various sponsors Sony wants shoved in all wanting a say. This dosen't feel like say Across the Spider-Verse (Same parent companY) or Nimona (Same production company) where they had more freedom, so they just went with a formula that worked for other movies and worked for garfield before. The question is does that formula ruin the movie? Is there enough to still make it enjoyable despite being stock as hell?

Yes

The film is still pretty damn fun and feels like a welcome return to the character after being gone in other media for almost a decade. As Quinton Reviews pointed out in his review of this film, the Garfield Show ended in 2016. It's been a WHILE since the orange tabby's been animated, with his only apperances otherwise being in video games, showing up in Lasanga Party, Garfield Kart and being a guest racer in Nicktoons Kart Racers 3 and a fighter in both all star brawl games, all welcome as it's just.. fun to play as garfield. Does he have any real connection to nickelodeon besides them owning the property now? Nope. Is it fun to have him anyways? hell yeah. Have him hit the avatar with a pie, either one!

The strip still exists but like many aging comic strips it's clamped to it's formula. I've been reading it daily for a few months now and while there are occasional gems

It's mostly the same stuff. You can find better jokes by buying the first few three in ones. It's not nearly as bad as some other legacy strips, seriously why is Blondie still around, but it sticks out in an age where more cartoons like Heart of the City or Nancy are allowing someone to flat out reboot the strip and try something different.

With a movie you have that blank slate to do whatever and while it does a standard animated movie TM with it to a point, the film does try some neat stuff I can't help but admire.

The biggest point is the animation. DNEG did the animation here and went above and beyond the call. I love their designs, combinging modern garfield with some of the classic garfield heft and proportions: his limbs are still super skinny, but they aren't as gangly as they are in the strip, feeling more in line with his body and the head resembles the one from the early 80's more. The eyes are also without a line, which seems like a small detail but ups the expressivness, something key to garfield as "funny facial expressions" are one of Garfield's best bits.

Slapstick is where this franchise thrives and the film mostly does this well. I wish there were more, but it has some fun visual gags: while it was trailered to hell and back, the fluffy fur gag is pretty funny. All the gags with Roland, big bad Jinx's muscle played by Roy Bloody Kent himself Brett Goldstein has a lot of fun gags: How this wall of folds and muscle just.. will show up any time Garfield tries to leave, disappearing behind a sign and pulling a cell phone out of his folds his boss refuses to touch. It's not a ton, but it's a lot of fun and while he must've been a nightmare to animate, so, many, FOLDS, it results in a character that's just inherently funny to see walk around and Goldstein's gruff voice just adds to it.

There's other great btis like Garfield and Vic stuck to a tree and using the vines to beat the hell out of each other, garfield getting smacked into a car windsheild and more.

The animation is just gorgeously expressive: the non garfield cast may be somewhat stock but damn are they fun to watch and the main trio (and Liz and Nermal in very brief cameos) are at their best. IT's fun to look at, visually gorgeous and easily the best part of the film: the film may not remotely stack up to some of the masterpieces we've gotten, nor does it try to, but it does look great while having a lot of fun doing it.

Since we're talking character let's look at our cast and starting at the top Billing we have Garfield himself. Like I said Chris Pratt does.. fine. Would've preferred Nick Offerman, gold star to whoever brought that up, but he dosen't ruin the character and is still dryly sarcastic enough.

Characterization wise he's a tad diffrent: He's not nearly as much of a dick to Jon and Odie, something CellSpex pointed out in their own review might be corprate not wanting Garfield to be as dickish and thus less markketable. While I do think that's the case, I also think they threaded the needle well: Garfield is still a massive douchey orange blob to them, but it's in less over the top ways: him pummeling john or punting Odie siimply dosen't play as well, so instead he maxes out John's credit cards and Odie is essentially his butler. The former isn't super funny, but is fitting enough, and it's telling Jon, pushover he's always been, dosen't really push back against it, while having Odie instead be his hyper compentetn sidekick works. It could've backfired, turning Odie into something like say the minons that say s"please merchandise me", but instead it gives Garfield a foil, someone to make passive agressive dog noises or leave him tied to his dad on a tree. Odie is still dumb, but having him be garfield's slightly more emotoinally sasvy and competient sidekick still works well and gives him more than just "ain't he dumb" as a joke for a 90 minute runtime.

Jon is done incredibly well here but I wish there was more of him. This seems to be the sentiment across most reviews, and I can't blame my fellow critics on this one: Nicholas Hoult equals Thom Huge at the part, and like Garfield it's not easy. But it works by doing it a diffrent way: Thom had a dry sarcasm to his john that contrasted nicely with his manic dorky side, while Nicholas Hoult just leans into John as a loveable mess and it works. His panic as he tries to reign in a kitten garfield from eating an entire itallian restraunt, resignment as he washes the cat, and general bafflement at his pet fits the character like a glove.

Sadly the plot.. really dose't leave much room for Jon. It's understandable: Even if his mouth now moves, Jon can't undrestand garfield and the film outlines this, with an app specifically to translate animals being needed and only being known to exist by an unhinged security guard. It still would've been fun to give him more of a b plot looking for his pets, maybe rope in liz or irma from the diner as side characters.

What B-Plot we do get though.. is easily the best joke of the film. Jon is left on hold by a lost pet hotline for SEVERAL DAYS growing more hilariously deshevleed along the way. There is nothing more jon arbuckle than the world pantsing him while he's down and his deranged rant to the guard at the pound when he picks up the boys that "I'm done waiting! The Jon who is waiting is dead!" is fucking great, as is his bafflement when the boys run out on him after getting home to go save Garfield's dad, and his wondering if he triggered garfield when Garfield runs out to bring his dad home at the end. Hoult plays a perfectly pathetic jon, the relatable doofus we all know and love and I hope any future projects both bring him on board and give him more to do. The man is brillaint

Likewise Harvey Gullien is great as Odie. He has to commuincate using barely intellgible dog sounds, and of course great visuals from DNEG, but does so well. The man's voice acting career is a slow burn but man should he do more. He was great in Puss in Boots, is aces here and should be in most animated films from here on out. If Sony needs an Alan Tudyk, they've got one.

Onto supporting we have Garfield's Father, Vic, played by Samuel L Jackson. Vic is a big kitty who left garfield behind as a kitten and whose past crimes force his son into a heist wtih him. Look like Keith David I could listen to Sam Jack all day, easy. He has a talent for being awesome no matter the movie and no matter how much he's just in it for a paycheck. He's playing a fairly stock "ex con dad" type character who wonders into his child's life and tries to reconcile, but he has so much fun with it it's hard to really notice and the design, a big giant muscly blob, works well as a contrast to garfield: both are big soft boys, but Vic clearly lifts.

The plot between the two is cliche, I won't lie.. son is bitter his father left but DADDY HAD A GOOD REASON FOR ABANDONING YOU and if done wrong can have some bad implications. If a parent left you and is a dick, you have no obligation to them. Even if their not you don't really.

The twist that Vic didn't MEAN to abandon garfield was obvious from a mile away: even seeing the trailer it was clear he probably wasn't the asshole Garfield thought he was. But to the film's credit they don't hide that it's more complicated: from the get go Vic TRIES to explain he left, but Garfield's both understandably pissed he said he'd "be right back" and never came back and that Vic's old partner Jinx is forcing garfield into the film's heist simply to fuck with vic. It's also the right push to get Garfield into the plot: i've seen complaints about how "oh this big heist film isn't garfield he just lies around the house".. .but a key element of most of the specials and the other movies is garfield kinda gets.. shoved into adventure. Here Come Garfield happens because the next door neighbor has the pound come and Odie's too stupid to run for it. He tries to ignore his friend being lost, and tries to tell Jon who naturally dosen't get his charades, but ultimately goes to save him. The key to getting garfield into an adventure is to push him into it: either he has an emotoinal investment or , like in this case, he really has no choice, like that time he fought a panther to protect Jon. You CAN get plenty of good slice of life nonsense out of the boy but i get that for a specail or movie you have to kick it up a notch and having Garfield forced into a life of crime fits well.

It's a bit fucking weird, but again so is garfield. It's something people tend to forget or don't really care to look up and that came up in a lot of reviews, but the specials could get werid. Garfield was on a talent show, went through 9 very diffrent very fucking weird lives, was a private eye, had a whole spy pastiche adventure in his daydreams, went to hawaii to stop a volcano with the help of Fonzie's ghost.. or was it james dean's ghost? it was someone's ghost, and of course met ghost pirates. Not every adventure was fucking insane, but it bears repeating sometimes the strip or specials or especially the show got weird, and that's alright. Frankly the films could go weirder and less stock, but this really isn't out of his wheelhouse. Like with Scooby Doo maybe research a franchise before you bitch about it. not saying everything's gold, lord no, but I am saying the franchise is way more experimental than it gets credit for.

The twist on WHY vic left though.. is heartbreaking. This ties back to the opening which you can see most of in a trailer: vic abandons his son, Jon finds baby garfield outside the window while he's having a sad single man meal at an itallian restraunt, Garfield eats everything in sight and Jon still adores his pet. The only part left out is Jon almost leaves Garfield behind, as his apparement dosen't allow pets.. but goes back. Why they added this.. I don't know.. but their origin is truly hearwarming and may be another reason why they toned down the asshole to Garfield being less of an abusive roomate and more Jon's spoiled teenage son.

Naturally though we didn't see VIC'S side: he went to steal some food for his son, had to wait for the worker's long as hell phone call becaues some dick won't feed a stray cat. I mean I get they come back but counter argument: who cares. As long as you don't invite a roving pack of cats, help the starving kitty you ass. At any rate by the time vic got back with half a fish, his son was gone and he watched the whole scene at the itallian restraunt.. and then watched Jon come back, realizing Jon gave his son a better life. He gave his son up so he could. As for why he never visted it's the painful but truthful worry of ruining his son's new life: vic's a career heist man, an alley cat and garfield was comfortable. The sad irony is garfield.. woudl've welcomed his dad in. Jon being Jon would've gladly adopted him. Garfield wanted both HIS dads. Vic instead watched from a nearbye tree, a revelation garfield only gets in the pound after Vic fakes a double cross... when really he knows Jinx will NEVER let garfield free of her grasp and thus returns the milk from the heist himself. Naturally garfield realizes this, gets a drone fleet to help him rescue his dad along with the bull they befriended earlier, and saves the day.. and Vic still plans to leave but ultiamtely garfield convinces him to stay. Is it a tad cliche? Sure. Did it still knock my fucking heart out? yes.

Outside of this emotoinal arc, Vic is a lot like his son, but more active, having more world skills... and it's not really played up. Vic's emotinal arc is well done but outside of it he dosen't have much charater. Only the fact he's played by sam Jack really lets him be a character. He's not BAD but I wish they'd fleshed him out more outside of his tragic backstory. It moves me.. but there's not much else to the guy.

Onto our bad guys, and Jinx, our main villian is a delight. She has a decent motive too: She was once a would be show cat, but choked on stage, genuinely found family with Vic.. and turned vengeful when he left her behind on a job, her hate twisting her into the operatic selfish tyrant we see today with her two henchman Roland, the foldy brett goldstein boy I mentioned before and Rupert, his twitchy partner played by SNL and Fire Island's Bowen Yang. Roland is great mostly due to the expressive animation and Goldstein's deadpan delivery. Youc an almost feel rupert about to threaten

Good times. yang.. gets less to do. Roland is just kinda there because they felt they HAD to have a pair of henchman and coudln't have just one big british foldy boy. It's also weird to me they didn't go with another ted lasso cast member. There's tons of options and if you already got the big bad and one of her henchman from there commit to the bit. The show's lined with talent.

Speaking of which Jinx is voiced by Hannah Waddingham, who like Goldstein was a dream on Ted Lasso. She also was recently in the fall guy which you should watch. Seriously .. go.. go do that. It's fucking incredible. At any rate she makes the most of the role hamming it up to all hell, giving Jinx a nice manical quality. Jinx isn't given a ton of layers outside of her backstory, but is hilarous enoguh with her big fluffy persian cat presensce, general evil dickery and awesome villian song that for some weird reason wasn't actually put in the film proper but makes the credits a joy to sit through, she's a LOT of fun and you can tell Waddingham is knawing on the scenery in the recording booth and loving it. I like her getting to flex her range post-ted lasso, already terrific as Rebecca but now getting to play a nice variety of parts. Jinx wouldn't be the same without Waddingham and the casting was perfect

Our penultimate major character is Otto. Otto is a bull and garfield's grumpy mentor with a tragic backstory because everyone has a tragic backstory in this movie except Odie and that's because they cut the scene of Lyman getting shot to death in the falkland's war. He's a bull who was part of the farm Garfield has to heist with is daddy guy, and was removed from it because the new owners are dicks, desperate to get back his one true love Ethel. He's played by Ving Rahmes, who does a great job and the character honestly isn't bad, it's just.. weridly sandwitched into this movie. A ways in and we suddenly get this guy who should be leading this whole other movie. The heist itself fits decently enough, but this whole tragic past, his history with the guard Margie, it feels like a whole other film that Garfield and Friends just wondered into.

Otto is fun to watch, his serious as hell tone contrasting with things like assinging Garfield roadkill or his deadpan assement that Garfield and Vic are going to die and are only ready because they'd need a month and have a day. He's not bad, he' sjust a bit undercooked> he does get his happy ending with Ethel back, so tha'ts nice, it just feels like another character in a cast that probably didn't need one more guy.

Finally we have Marge, the security guard played by Schmigadoon! star Cecily Strong. Strong fucking brings it to marge, who could easily just be this obstacle of a villian but instead is this super obessed guard who has a score to settle with vic, instantly recognizes that jinx calling to set vic up (And hilariously it just being Hannah Waddingham saying meow a lot), is a cat informing on someone, and has this unhinged energy the film needs and that fits garfield like a glove. Garfield is all about unhinged weirdos wondering into his life in other media. She provides a jolt of energy for the heist section and a nice way to payoff things later as she trades the truck for ethel and takes in Roland and Rupert while taking Jinx to the pound.. or to an unmarked grave. Marge.. is hard to read. I just love her though, having this werido who understand this elaborate animal plot somehow. Beauitful.

We also have a few smaller roll: Snoop Dogg plays a cat

Dev Joshi plays Liz for all of 5 seconds, and for some reason Jeff Foxworthy plays a bird for even less time.

The cast overall is decent, if a bit overstuffed, but iwth good enough performances to make you not care.

Before we move on a complaint i've seen here or there is that they don't really use garfield's supporting cast. I agree on Jon, Nicholas Hoult was too damn good to use that little, but for the rest of the cast.. I get it. None of them really fit into the narrative that well: Arlene, The Meanest Dog in the World, Nermal might of fit as members of the heist crew, it woudl've been intresting to see them gather one, but otherwise Jon's Parents, who I dearly love, don't quite fit (It'd be fucking werid to have garfield rob people he knows instead of a souless corperation0, Irma has no real place and Lyman got shot to death in the falkland islands. Other than their neighbors who used to show up, Garfield has no other recurring characters to use. it WOULD have been neat to use the US Acres cast for the heist, again could've gone full ocean's elven, but I get not adding even MORE characters to a crowded film, and possibly saving them for another movie down the line. Again Garfield dosen't have a big bench to pull from: if you have that full a cast that can stand on it's own and possibly anchor their own film, I can't blame the mfor saving them. Same for Arelen and Nermal Garfield falling in love or having to deal with his greatest enemy are both things that could anchor a sequel.

The Big Fat Hairy Conclusoin

So overall the Garfield Movie is.. fine. It's nothing exceptional, but it has a LOT of fun energy to it and out of the films i've seen i'ts easily the best.. and frankly I doubt Tale of Two Kitties or Pet Force is better. The film does have way too much advertising, a stock plot and way more characters than it needs.. but it compesates by mostly nailing the characters from the comic, having some of the guest characters be intresting, and when they aren't all parties involved are buffered by talented voice acting and gorgeous animation. This film is okay, and if you don't like Garfield, you probably won't like this film. If you like some goofy animation and some schmaltz though, you'll likely enjoy this one like I did. It's not perfect by a mile, but it adapts the strip's tone and style well, adds some florishes here and there, and leaves the door open for more. And frankly with it's success it gives me hope that other comic strips might get adaptations. After Paramount's treament of Phoebe and her Unicorn and Big Nate, we could use somre more comic strip movies with this level of animation, and maybe some more depth. I'd love to see films for more recent strips like Phoebe and her Unicorn, Wallace the Brave or Breaking Cat News that have both intresting casts to tap into and unique art styles that would look gorgeous on screen. I'd love to see some older strips get a new spin as well like Baldo or Zits, ones with a formula sure but a lot of visual flair. With this and the peanuts movie, we're hopefully seeing more comic strip adaptations and unlike last time this could be something good instead of CGI monsters from beyond the farthest star.

So I leave this film with an "I'ts alright you might like it" and the number two spot in my rankings of the specails i've covered

Next Time (Hopefully): It's Christmas in July so that Means it's time for us to get down on the farm with Jon's family for some musical numbers, home cooking and elaborate back scratcher b plots.

[itsclydebitches]

I honestly have no idea how they intend to greenlight volume 10 if it's not been greenlit already. They've announced the final season of Red vs Blue and a lot of early day fans are in agreement that the end of RvB is the signaling of the end of RT in general. It's their second biggest money maker next to RWBY. After this new season, it's over. What do they do next? Do RT really believe that RWBY is popular enough to coast on for another decade? It'll be a miracle if it lasts even one more year.

Their viewership has been on a decline since Volume 6, they've abused so much of their animation department that there's almost no one left, most of their VA talent for RWBY's popular characters aren't coming back due to all the controversies, any spinoffs or soft reboots or whatever keep going back to the Beacon era and don't really do much to help with the overall problems that are down to the roots of the company.

They even made their biggest ship that kept what few fans are left canon and put out half assed merch that sold out in minutes, and somehow they still haven't managed to find enough money to greenlight another volume?

If they somehow miraculously get Volume 10 made, it's probably going to be the last.

The last few years of RWBY have really highlighted for me how challenging it is to define "popularity" and "success" nowadays. Granted, a good chunk of that is simply my own ignorance about how the production side of things are run, but it nevertheless feels like there's this intense level of ambiguity that wasn't there in the past (or at least wasn't as obvious). Fandom itself has always been an unreliable source because depending on the corner of the internet you're in, you can get a wildly skewed perspective without engaging with everything that contradicts how "good" or "bad" you think things are going. As you say, merch sells out in minutes, yet neither the finances nor the implied security of that seems to be enough to land another Volume. There are questions about whether this could be a marketing scheme, wherein Volume 10's future is simply being kept under wraps to drum up interest. There's the question of whether popularity matters at all when we've got companies cancelling and pulling undoubtedly successful shows, all according to their own, long-term algorithms. On the one hand the information surrounding RT is all about the abuse of their workers, another scandal, how this might all tie into the strikes... and yet most of this is nothing new and RWBY has still secured movies, a soft reboot, comics, and books. I agree completely with your list above of all the ways in which the series is struggling (massively) and yet RWBY has been "dying" for half its run-time. So is this the final nail in the coffin—the inevitable ending that's been a long time coming—or just another year where the fandom unintentionally cries wolf?

I'm not so naive as to believe that things were actually simple 'back in the day'—that's the nostalgia talking—but it still seems like things were simpler in comparison to what we've got now. TV and its media equivalents used to be—or at least felt like—a fairly straightforward journey of airing, ratings, syndication, cancellation, renewal, and then (eventually) the viewer securing a copy for themselves via VHS and DVDs. Now it's like, "What do I do with the newbie webseries eventually bought up by a major corporation and moved from a free watch, to a company-specific streaming watch, to a different, more expensive streaming watch, all of which has led to a decade of success with various spinoffs, but apparently this webseries still isn't making enough money to continue? Regardless, it and everything else I love to watch is inching more and more towards digital-only copies, a status that is inherently nerve-wracking, which means that if it does suddenly crash and burn (given that this is one of two series keeping the original company afloat) circulating this story and maintaining the fandom will be that much harder."

I find that depressing and I'm someone who thinks RWBY is pretty awful right now. I can't imagine what that ambiguity and the state of streaming media in 2023 feels like to fans still in love with the show.

So yeah. Idk how they intend to greenlight Volume 10 either.