#my high brain cant compute

[megamindsecretlair]

BOOK UPDATE 11/1/24

Yall 🥲 can I be cocky real quick and yall won't judge me 👀

I've been spending the past week editing my book, getting the inconsistencies out as best as I could. (Like when I described Jasper in a green plaid shirt and it somehow turned into a navy thermal in the same scene 🤣🤣🤣🤣)

And im well and truly done. Its out of my hands. I don't know what else i can do/say to improve on it. Yall i was in here tooting my own mf horn 🥳🥳 i was getting my own self bothered writing some of the 😮‍💨 scenes. Like I wrote that? I snapped like that? Who am I trynma show out for but myself like 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Here's a sneak-sneak chuz I love yall 👀

“Do I get to play in this pussy whenever I want?��� He asked.

Her belly flipped. Her mouth dropped open. “Yesss,” she moaned.

“Do I get to keep you?” He asked. He licked his lips and she felt the torturous glides of his tongue on her.

“Forever,” she said.

“Forever,” he said.

👀👀👀

And I realized that yes, writing is fn scary. Posting that writing - let alone publishing it - is downright frightening. But you also gotta have a level of "fuck it, I did that shit" attitude about it. My advice will always be to write what YOU want to see. What turns YOU on. If you have fun, then we having fun boo 😗

Okay, im done being cocky. Chuz its truly because of all of you who've been with me on this writing journey. Who commented and reblogged and told me that I can weave some words around to unlock some knowledge bout themselves 😏😏

You let me be cocky. You gassed me up to believe in myself to make my dream come true. I will be publishing under a pen name, mostly for marketing reasons. The name I chose doesn't have many search results so I won't get lost in the noise. Unlike my real name 😒

Im also hard at work on my website. I want yall to have fun when you visit it. And that vibe is not easy to achieve when you're an over-anxious indecisive person 🫠

Special shoutout to @darqchilddaydreamz and @westside-rot who sent me an ask game that inspired the story of Zora and Jasper and encouraged my silly story to become something. That was the universe stepping up for me.

All this to say is thank you, thank you, a million times thank YOU. I hope you fall in love with Zora and Jasper like I did.

This is where the hard part comes in. Reviews are a must to get any kind of traction with the book. I only ask for a fair and honest review when the book comes out on Goodreads because to be absolutely 💯, I got bills to pay. And I've been skipping out on overtime to get this book done, ya feel me? 😩

I also may or may not have plotted out 5 other books that are all separate stories. One of them may even be a vampire novel. One of them is deff based on Mr. Black. But idkidkidk. Lemme see how this book does first 👀🫣

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[theblueflower05]

The Sweetest Sylaung

A/N: So I def didn’t mean to write a novel long Neteyam smut story but here we are. Debating on making this a mini series. Also the anon that requested a “curvy” reader insert- here ya go!(she’s also an Augustine- buttttt you can only see that if you squint lol)

Word Count: 6k+

Warnings: This is smut. Pure smut. Please don’t read if it is not your jam. You are in charge of cultivating your own online experience, you’ve been warned!

Pairing: Aged Up! Neteyam x Human!Curvy!Reader

Summary: After an “accidental” romp in the forest, you do your best to avoid Neteyam. It’s for everyone’s good, or so you’ve convinced yourself.

“I’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans. That’s my man”- Willow, Taylor Swift

The kaleidoscope of colors explode under your eyes in endless patterns and shapes as you look over the sample of Pandora flora under the heavy duty microscope. This particular piece of the Moons terra had never been discovered before, only blooming at what you estimated to be every ten or so years, under the right monsoon like conditions

At least that’s what you had discovered so far.

The flower, which sprouted into a berry, and then dissipated into a moss like cluster of microorganisms all within its short life cycle had turned into your passion project. You we’re doing your thesis on it, the last step in getting your Masters.

You’d gone through schooling on a computer screen, guided by the greatest minds on Earth that had relocated to Pandora. Scientists of all fields who you’d grown up around. None of them had been surprised when you’d picked up botany. Xenobotany to be exact.

It was in your blood.

The desk your at shakes violently- disturbing your precision like focus. Breaking you straight out of your zone.

“Ugh” you groan, frustrated, raising your head, eyes narrowing at the culprits.

Spider, Lo’ak and Kiri freeze like deers in the headlights of your fury. Spiders arm raised, a wad of paper balled up in his hand, aimed to shoot. He lowers it slowly as the weight of your your heavy gaze zero’s in.

“Sorry, cu-”

“I told you guys, if you cant behave to get the fuck out” You seethe. Your nerves are paper thin anyway. Too much screen time frying your brain something fierce as you focused in on your studies. “Is that not what I said, verbatim?”

“You need to chill. You’ve been so high strung lately. Come hang out with us” Lo’ak suggests smooth and unhelpful. As usual. “When was the last time you left the lab?”

You roll your eyes and bite your tongue, trying not to say anything to scalding to the surprisingly sensitive Sully brother. “No thanks. I’ve gotta focus”

“Maybe Lo’aks right” Kiri starts, her face screwing up as she speaks “Eywa that sounds wrong. Nevermind, My brother is never right- but you should come hang out with us. Let’s go swimming- the watering hole is over flowing from the storms”

The deep sigh through your nose isn't calming, even though you pretend it is. You know they mean well, in the most annoying way. That you’d been buried in books and paperwork in the lab for the past couple months.

Hiding from the outside world within the thick walls of Hell’s Gate.

“Can’t. This is important, Kir- but why don’t you guys head down there? Its closer to Home Tree and its almost curfew anyway” two birds, one stone. Its a smart suggestion- but Kiri’s face falls, shoulders sagging and ears lowing. That look had always gotten you-

“I cant today, but maybe tomorrow? The samples are too fresh and I don't want to put them on ice…But I think Max made those Yovo cookie things” That’s only half of the truth, but luckily Kiri’s always been understanding.

She grabs your elbow in her long fingers and tugs you along.

The mess hall had seen better days, but the large open space still tends to be the meeting ground for the humans that were allowed to stay and inhabit the moon. With twelve foot tall ceilings and airtight exits and windows that lead out to the Avatar Program training yards. Its a common room of sorts, a place where everyone gathers. For meals, for mismatched Holidays. But mostly for gossip.

I mean, what else is there to do?

Like currently, you’re deeply engrossed in the story that Doctor Martinez’s, Xeno-Zoologist is recounting. All dramatics and dirty intimate details “It’s true, they’re gonna bring it before Mo’at and everything”

He’s talking about Trevino and Eital’i.

Everyone had heard the whispers, seen the not so subtle signs. The main Radio Tower operator had turned during the resistance, had fought beside Jake and had been allowed to stay on Pandora- better stuck on a foreign planet then thrown in a familiar jail cell. Trevino’s a cool guy, really.

A cool guy who had been sleeping with a Na’vi woman, apparently. The two had kept it under wraps, really private. No one could pin down how or when it happened,,,but to go to the clan’s Tsahik seeking a mating blessing? That’s major.

“You’re lying” you accuse in a gasp as the table breaks into whispers, all wide eyes and shaking heads. “They’re going to mate?...How?”

“It’s not like it hasn't happened before” Another scientist chimes in casually. Like it’s a known thing.

Which it kind of is.

Taboo, yes. But not unheard of, more like untalked about.

Humans and the Na’vi of the forest had lived in close quarters since the overthrow of the RDA. Jake, the standing Olo’eyktan, just had a little too much homosapien in him. Yeah, he’d survived the soul transfer and fully inhabited his blue body- but he never quite grew out of his human roots.

It had been hard, lots of politicking and good grace shown on both parts, but somehow, like all biomes in the vast perma green forest, all had learned to live in harmony. Most Omitikaya kept their distance. Very hesitant about the human presence. They had every right to be scared, hostile. Scarred by man and its weapons and its destruction.

Others had been raised in close proximity to Grace’s school. Had become accustomed to the nearly two decade long human presence on Pandora. Curious and accepting.

You’d heard about interspecies hookups.

Locker room talks that left your ears burning and your heart racing. It usually came from members of the Avatar Program- It tends to set a precedent, when the quote on quote “royal family” of the Omiticaya is a Jarhead and a native woman.

Na’vi are gorgeous, tall and lean but humanoid enough to be familiar…you’re not exactly sure what they see in humans but you know damn well what you guys see in them.

“How do you think that works? The…physicality of it all I mean. Trevino doesn't have an Avatar. How do they fuck-”

You’re not the only one zoning out from the conversation and it’s lewd turn.

You watch Kiri watch Spider and your heart aches for her. What they have is secret, delicate and forbidden. As a woman with high standing in the clan, you knew that her feelings for the boy wouldn't go anywhere. Couldn't.

When they we’re kids, it was cute. Now that they 're both technically adults, it was just plain stupid.

You tell her of the fact, often.

Kiri tells you to stop projecting.

———

The Sully Kid’s are always late. It’s like no matter how hard they try, they cant make curfew. You throw on an Exopack, hurrying them to the fence.

“Yeah, yeah okay mom. Take it easy” Lo’ak shrugs huffily as you yank hard on his arm. “I’m going, Y/N!”

“Not fast enough you strumbeast’s ass! You’re gonna get me into trouble, who do you think your dad’s gonna blame when you guys end up back at Home Tree super late again? Norm chewed me out for that shit last time!” You man handle the much taller than you alien.

Kiri and Spider a few leagues in front of you, already at the mouth of the giant fence. They’re awkward, not in their usual synched steps. You wonder how much of that conversation earlier had gone to their heads?

You’re bickering with Lo’ak, an extremely normal occurrence. He can be a real douche. and had been kind of insufferable lately. You think its nerves about his impending Iknamaya.

So engrossed with getting them on their way home that you don't even notice him until it’s too late.

Neteyam is a skilled hunter, through and through. The youngest in the clan to ever make a kill. Swift and quiet. Beloved.

But around you he feels out of his element. Clunky and awkward, no matter how hard he tries to play it off its like you can see right through him. Its scary and thrilling, sets his stomach alive with butterflies everytime. This is no different.

Showing up to Hell’s Gate to retrieve his siblings was something he had done since he was a child.

He’d used to bleed hours away playing with them at the scientists fortress, but as he had gotten older and his responsibilities had grown heavier- he had little time for it. Still, when ever his parents would send him out on a one man search party to bring them home, he’d jump at the chance.

At the hope of seeing you.

You’re arguing with his little brother, trying not to laugh at something he said and Neteyam knows. He knows he shouldn't feel jealous but he just cant help it. Cant help the acidic twist of his insides.

Especially when he chirps out his family's familiar call, letting his presence be known.

And watches that pretty smile fall right off of your face.

“You’re late, as usual” His voice has a stern edge. It’s annoying, the role he has to play. Kiri is a woman grown, Lo’ak just weeks away from being the same. He doesnt blame them for the way their feathers bristle, almost viscerally.

“Ah, big brother you didn't have to come all this way to get us” Kiri reassures, patting Neteyam on the chest good naturedly. “We we’re just about to be on our way”

Neteyam notices the way you try to look anywhere else but him. It stings because he cant stop looking at you, cant pry his eyes away from your form.

“You all should start heading back before dad notices” Neteyam starts. His father had been busy as of late, harvest season abundant and fruitful this year because of the heavy rain season “I’ll catch up, I need to speak with Norm”

“What? Dad cant use the coms now, he has to send his messenger” Lo’ak’s nose scrunches a little, always questioning. On a normal day it wouldn't affect Neteyam so much, just a normal jab from his snot nosed little brother.

Not today. Not when he’s stretched so thin. Not when you refuse to look at him but are staring at the side of Lo’ak fat head. It feels wrong, makes his skin heat up to the point that it feels itchy and tight.

“That's none of your concern. Head back to Home Tree. Now” He doesn't normally throw his weight around. But he feels the need to puff up big in front of you “Those are orders. Get out of here”

Lo’ak’s less offended and more surprised. One of his oh so human eyebrows cocks, a sly remark in his throat before he scoffs. “Aye, Aye Captain Kiss Ass. C’mon Kiri let's go. See you later Spider, Y/N”

He deuces up Spider, gives Y/N a pat on her small shoulder and glares harshly at his brother before he disappears into the thick brush of the jungle.

Kiri wraps her arms around you in a strong hug, muttering about ‘swimming’ and ‘promises’. The small impish smile she shoots Spider gives YOU butterflies so you don't blame the way he swoons, before she’s off behind her younger brother.

“I can go find Norm for you, bro. I think he’s still out in his Avv, but Max can radio him back in” Spider is none the wiser. Doesn't notice the heavy tension that simmers on a low bubble. Oblivious, as usual.

“Yeah, sure” Neteyam replies, barely sparing the human boy a glance. He’d feel bad for it later, when he could form coherent thought. When his brain wasn't on Y/N issued override.

Spider chatters, good natured. He never got to see the Olo’eyktan in training anymore. He missed his homie.

“Well, I should be heading back. You guys have a good rest of your night-” You’re already turning on your heels when you make the announcement, eager to get back inside. Back behind the safe walls of the lab- far away from Neteyam.

“No”

Neteyam who stares at you with all too knowing eyes. He looks straight through you like he can see through your clothes, through your thinly veiled escapism attempts. He reaches out, wraps his long fingers around the top of your arm and tugs you back to him. Gentle, but very firm.

He doesn't have to say it- it’s written all over his face. Not this time. He’s not going to let you run away from him.

“Netey-” You start in a whine, tugging on his hold. He doesnt relent, if anything his fingers tighten as his eyes narrow. Dangerous, desperate.

“Just talk to me” it’s a barely concealed plea, his tail twitches anxiously behind him “I'm just asking for five minutes. Please Y/N”

Spiders oblivious, yes. Stupid? No. He doesnt know exactly what's going on between the two of you but has clued into the fact that it’s heavy and he wants no part of it.

The excuse he makes is shit- he’ll just go find Norm. Yeah… he’s so out of there.

“What is wrong with you?” You hiss as you watch Spiders awkward, quick retreating form. Eyes flickering over the empty for now training yards “So much for keeping it lowkey, huh? Could you be anymore obvious?”

“What’s wrong with me?” Neteyam is almost shaking with disbelief “What the fuck is wrong with you? You havent talked to me in over a month. Everytime I make any kind of attempt you bolt. I dont-” He sighs, pinching the wide bridge of his nose with the hand that isnt holding onto you.

He looks tortured. Tired. Run a little ragged.

Beautiful.

“I don't know what I did? If this is about that day in the forest-”

You sigh at his words, once again pulling on his hold. Shaking your head desperately because you can't.

You can't talk about it. Fuck, you’ve been trying not to even think about it.

And failing as you replay the event over and over again the darkness of your bunk. Hyper fixating on the way that his lips had felt against yours. Oh the way that his big hands had worked your body over

“Don’t” you whisper “Please don’t”

You’d never been one to beg for pity, for mercy but that’s what you do now. Beg him to let you out of his tight clutches. Metaphorically and physically.

“You’re all I can think about” It's a gutted admittance, but Neteyam makes it all the same “That night- I can’t sleep. I can barely eat- I’m falling behind on my duties because I keep coming back here. Standing outside this fence and waiting for you. I know you could hear me over the coms, right?”

And you could, a few weeks or so ago.

When he’d begged you to come out. To come speak to him. His voice so appealing that you’d almost caved. You’d had to turn off your receiver. Had sat with your head in your hands for hours as you fought the urge to crawl to him, knees raw and your bloody heart on a platter only he could divulge in.

He shuffles closer, all lean strong muscle. Firm, unmovable. “You heard me”

“Of course I did”

“And you still left me out here” He scoffs, head shaking slightly as his adams apple bobs, his ears are pinned to the sides of his head in obvious distress “I could never do that shit to you.”

“One of us needs to be the adult in this situation” Your voice is as strong as you can make it. Trying to speak reason on to both of you “We can pretend it never happened and go back to the way that things were before. You’re my friend, Tey”

You reach up, stroking at his wrist. Trying to soften him enough for him to let this go. Let you go.

He’s trying to control his breathing, all that training for all of those years for what? One fragile human girl to make him completely unspool? To lose any and all composure he’d worked so hard to gain.

He was always the adult, in all situations. Had been born with a neck cramping crown on his head. Shrouded in pressurized glory.

“If this is me being childish, so be it. Where has pretending gotten you, huh? Look at you, yawntutsyìp. you look so tired. When was the last time you slept? Kiri says you spend days in the lab without resting”

His hands, both of them, come up to cup your face. Huge and calloused. Yet he holds you like you're something precious. A small animal, a rare gem. His whole entire world since he was just a boy.

Neteyam thumbs at the cool glass of your mask, tenderly. The bags under your eyes are sunken and bruised. “Don’t shut me out”

Your body, in its entirety, clenches at his words. Velvet and sincere. He’s a fucking dream. Your head leans into his hands, neck sagging of its own accord as any and all words of protest leave your weak mind.

He makes you so easy.

“Let me in…I dont want there to be this distance between us anymore” He hisses around the word distance. Hating even having to say it “I want to be inside of you again”

Your plump lower lip gets skewered between your teeth, eyes screwed shut as you remember the last time. Your first ever time being full…you’d dreamt of it every night since it had happened.

If it wasn't for the blasted mask and your need for Earth’s oxygen he’d kiss you. Right here right now. He didn't really give a shit who saw or what they had to say.

Instead pulls you into his chest, lets you wind your arms around his lean middle and bury your chest in his diaphragm. Its as close as he can get you, for now. Makes you cling to him the way that he’d clung to every thought of you for the last weeks.

You wish it was lungfuls of his skin that you were taking as you try to bring yourself down from this abrupt shaky high. You dont get it, how your relationship couldve flipped this hard in such a short time.

He had always just been Neteyam. A shameless flirt yes- but that’s all it was.

“Would you like that?” He questions, hands working through your hair. Fingers light and soothing on your scalp. Massaging the thoughts right out of your head.

“Hmm?”

“If I was inside you again?” He presses on. You can feel the tickle of his long, thin, tail as it wraps around the back of your calf and you groan, digging your nails into his back.

“You’re such an asshole. Stoppppp it” You’re embarrassed and turned on and already feel stupid enough, he doesn't need to rub it in. His chest shakes as he chuckles.

“I’m serious. Tell me you want it-”

“Neteyam! Hey!”

The two of you break apart in an instant. You jump away from him as though struck by lightning. Instantly putting enough distance between you and the Na’vi that maybe, just maybe an onlooker might think that the embrace was friendly.

It’s Norm, having heard that the eldest Sully was looking for him he’d come eagerly.

The smile you plaster on is forced and honestly, Neteyam doesnt fair any better. He’s obviously flustered, just glad that his erection isn't tenting his tweng.

“Spider told me you and your dad are looking for me. I’m not intruding on uh anything, am I?” Norm looks between the two of you.

Your arms are folded tightly over your chest and Neteyam is rubbing at the back of his neck, strong jaw flexing as his teeth grind.

Oh yeah, Norm had definitely interrupted something.

Knows for sure as you scurry away. As Neteyam, always so level headed, has to string together words. Stumbling a little bit as he tries to remember the message that Jake had relayed.

It’s not any of his business, he thinks at the time. He sure didnt want to be the one to shine the light on whatever the hell was going on here. Turning a blind eye to the mysteries of Pandora is the only way to survive the harshest terrain known to man.

———

You dont know that though-

No, you’re spiraling more a little bit as you prepare yourself for bed. Brushing through your thick hair and staring out into space as your mind assaults you with all of the gnarly ‘What If’s’

Norm had seen and he had to know right? Oh god, what if he told Jake?

You balk. Lowering the brush as your eyes bulge out of your head.

What if he told Neytiri?

That's actually a super horrific thought. Like nightmarish. You have a lot of respect for the future Tsahik...

…And a very healthy does of fear. She didnt like humans and made it known. She tolerated them only for her husband's benefit. What if she found out that her eldest son, her golden boy, had fucked one?

You’re freak out is interrupted by static, by the beeping of your com receiver on your night stand.

“Y/N?” its Neteyams muffled voice through the device. You’d ignored it once. You should ignore it again…

“Yeah?” you wonder if he picks up on how shaky you sound through the receiver.

“Tomorrow night meet me at the East Gate. Like when we we’re kids” he’s not really asking. Not demanding either. You could ignore him again, but he has to try.

The line goes silent, quiet for minutes on end.

“Y/N?”

You’re so stupid. “What time?”

You can hear the grin he’s sporting as he replies “0100”

“Got it, over. Good night, Neteyam. Go to sleep”

———

The East Bay is on the other side of the large fortress-like building. It's not that it's forbidden, or anything. but it is deserted. It’s where the military personnel had inhabited, and since most if not all of them had gotten the hard boot off Pandora it was empty as a ghost town in these maze like halls.

When you we’re younger; you’d caught Spider sneaking Kiri and Lo’ak in through the rarely used entrance. You’d demanded the know how, if he didnt want you to rat on him for it. It was a rare occurrence, but the Sully children had all been snuck into Hell’s Gate this way over the years.

You type in the codes, disabling the alarm system in order to usher Neteyam into the pressurized, air lock. You’d toted one of the Avatar Exopacks along for him, they’re heavier then hell but he’d need it.

“Hi” you smile, suddenly shy as the tall Na’vi man stands before you.

That's what he was now. A man, not only in the eyes of his people but as a whole. Broad and muscular, strong. Verile. The next leader of his people. You know that he’s highly desired in his clan. Women fawn over him. Vie for his attention.

It doesnt feel real that he wants to give it to you.

You’re nothing special. Not tall and stunning like the Omaticaya women. Even by Earth’s standards you're short, curvy. Not particularly pretty. Insecurity gnaws at you, as it so often does.

“C’mere” Neteyam urges, boldly yanking you by your waist. Pulling you flush against his body. Grabby and insistent, he wants to feel your bare skin. All plush and soft, hes been dying to taste it since the last time.

Kicking himself over and over for not savoring every bit of your body that you gave to him. He won't make the same mistake again.

He’s not gonna lie, the concrete and metal of the walls inside of Hell’s Gate have always made him a little claustrophobic. But he can't do this outside-

His lips capture yours, demanding and needy from the jump. Big, over powering, he swallows your little chirp of surprise. Devours any and all breath from your lungs. Its messy and so good. You hadn't gotten to kiss him last time.

His mouth tastes amazing, his tongue rough in texture just like you remembered. It grates your lips as you suck on it-

“Hey, slow down a little bit” You giggle as Neteyam paws at your ass, lifting you off the ground until you squirm hard, making him release you “Not here, we can't do this here there’s cameras everywhere”

“I don't care” Neteyam pecks all over your face, trying to recapture your mouth as you avoid him “Let them watch, most of those pervs would like it”

And they would know that you’re his. The thought is beyond heady.

You gasp as his sharp canines ghost over the delicate skin of your neck, nibbling on your pulse point “Please- Neteyam”

You firmly push him away, hand on his chest and maybe if you hadn't cut him off cold turkey he would've given you space. Could've pulled away for a moment to let you say your piece. Instead the idea of letting you pull away even an inch is unbearable to him.

No. instead he tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He hauls loads heavier then you every day, your protests mean little to him. With his free hand he scoops up the Avv Exo Tank,

“Where to, yawntutsyìp?”

Where too is an old conference room. Its as good as any, and Neteyam yanks a couple cushions off the old couch to act as a brace for your head as he lowers you to the floor, flat on your back.

You’re so pretty like this, he tells you of the fact.

With your hair a mess behind you, your face free of that damned mask. Grinning up at him as you rub your thighs together. He wishes he had that camera that his dad liked to take pictures on. He wants this moment of you framed, immortalized.

“I hate sky people clothes” He mutters as he tugs on the hem of your t-shirt. It hides you, hides all that skin he craves.

“You want me to take it off?” You offer eagerly, raising up enough to start peeling the piece of clothing off. You’re bare underneath, completely. Your breasts jiggle as they’re freed, nipples peaked in the cool air-conditioned air.

“Don’t ever put it on again” He demands, taking it from your hands and tossing it across the room. He’s dead serious, but by the way you're giggling you obviously think its a joke.

He can’t help it, he dives in face first. Rubbing against your soft breasts, obsessed with the way they feel. Heavy, pillowy. He drags his tongue across all of your bare skin. From your clavicle to your nipple. You always smell so pretty, but its got nothing on the way you taste. It explodes bright and savory on his tastebuds.

You let him explore, until your spit soaked and shaking. Your panties sticky as your hips search for any kind of friction. “I need you”

“You have me, my love. All of me” your eyes water at his words. At the sincerity. At how much you want them to be true.

You grab one of his hands and drag it down your chest. Past your soft, rounded belly and into your shorts. He grunts as you guide him to where you’re wet and pulsing. Rythmetically clenching around nothing.

He circles your clit, feather light. More of a tease then anything and you want to sob. You’d thought of nothing but this, touched yourself imagining him. “Tey-”

He smiles around a mouthful of nipple,tugging on with his teeth. “I missed you so much”

“Then be nice to me” you plead, trying to shove yourself down on his fingers.

“We’re being nice now? Were you nice to me when you ignored me?” he can't help it, hurt bleeds into his voice. It had been so fucking painful, knowing that you hadnt wanted to see him. To be with him.

“I’m sorry” you whine, grabbing his face, pulling it from your bosom. “I’m so sorry. I was so scared- I’m still scared but I need you”

He lets you cup his cheeks, lets you plant kisses all over him. The bridge of his nose, his eyelids, his cheekbones. You dote on him, gentle and caring and he gorges himself on your love.

“You cant ever do that again, okay?” He shivers as you kiss his ear, running your tongue along the hyper sensitive flesh “If you’re scared you come to me, not run from me. Do you understand?”

You nod, eager. “I promise, Neteyam”

It’s all he needs to hear, that you’re his. That you won't deprive him of your presence ever again. He doesn't know what he’ll do. He’s a little scared of the man he becomes when it comes to you, you’re not the only one frightened by the gravity of your feelings.

“You asked if I wanted you inside me again? Yes. So much. I never knew I could be that full” it’s like you know just what to say. You light him up from the inside. His fingers begin circling your sopping clit again, this time with intent.

It’s blurry, the fact that your lightheaded making it hard to think. To track what he’s doing to you because somehow Neteyam seems to be everywhere at once. His big body all encompassing as he takes you.

“No-no marks, baby” You try to remind him and his blazing eyes zero in on you in a glare “you know we cant…not where they can see”

You’re right, and he hates it. He’ll just have to mark you where only you can see. Where you can look at your self and be reminded that you belong to someone. That you belong to him.

He doesn't have the patience, cant stop his hands from shaking- the tear of your shorts and panties echos around the room as he removes any barriers between him and the heat at the apex of your thighs.

You cant help the thrill it sends down your spine. He’d…ripped your panties off. You thought shit like this only existed in bad Earth made Porn that you’d found on one of the labs computers.

“Sorry, sorry” his apology is far from sincere though and you can't help but giggle, patting his braids fondly.

The fingerfucking is rough, your wines and moans spilling from you as he hits spots inside of you that make you want to curl up. It’s too good. Too much-

You screech, back bowing as he bends to kiss you, loud and sloppy, right on your wet clit. His big head burrows between your thigs as he delves on your cunt, his long rough textured tongue lapping at the fat puffy lips. The texture difference has both of you groaning.

It’s heartbreakingly good, the kind of good that you’ll never be able to forget. That you’ll crave and need for the rest of your life. Addictive, as he dedicates himself to making you feel pleasure.

Neteyam eats pussy the same way he does everything else in his life, exceeding any expectations. His instincts sharp as he hones in on how to make you lose your mind.

He keeps telling you how good you taste, breaking away for heaving breaths before he reburries himself. The only sounds in the room are the beyond wet sloshing of his tongue lashing and the pathetic noises your making.

He’s eating you alive, you don’t know how you’re supposed to survive this.

His fingers, two and then three fuck in and out of you. Corkscrewing as he loosens your tightness up for him.

“O-ooh” you whine high and reedy as you feel your tummy tightening, the pressure building in a way that makes you feel like you cant breathe. You cant your hips, shoving them down at that perfect angle “Oh, sh-shhhhit. I’m gonna, I’m-”

He doubles down and you’re a goner.

The orgasm is devastating. Sofuckinggood you think you might see stars for a minute there. You can't even scream, you keep letting out these little cries that are more like wheezes. A desprate attempt to get some kind of air back in your lungs-

Which reminds you.

Even though you’re in a daze you wiggle away from him, he hisses at you about it but you swat the top of his head as you reach for the Exo Pack.

You shove the mask in his face, between your legs.

”Breathe, Neteyam” you demand him to gulp down the Pandoran air. Yeah, he could go longer in your environment than you in his but still. Death by giving head isn’t the way you’d like him to go out.

He takes long breaths and you try not to be embarrassed by how soaked his chin is.

When he pulls away his eyes are a little more focused “Thank you, sweet girl. Always thinking about me, huh?”

You nod, dropping the mask. Closer this time for easier access. His eyes quickly zero back in on your swollen pussy, on how wet he got you. On how pretty it looks. His mouth is watering all over again-

When you try to close your thighs, the burning of your cheeks getting to be too much he hisses again. It’s not a sound he often makes and it’s a revelation, he’s so sexy. Almost feral.

“Who said I’m done?”

You’re never going to be able to get over this man “I already came?...”

“Yes? So?” he rolls his eyes, lowering his head, nuzzling at the damp juncture of your inner thigh “You’re still so tight, here feel”

His fingers slip back in you and you mewl, baring down as he scissors the long digits.

“We have to get you loose enough to take me, I don’t want to hurt you” He explains it like you need convincing. Like he has to convince you to let him eat you out. You just re-spread your thighs, relaxing back onto the cool floor as you let him do as he pleases.

It takes two more orgasms that you scream and shake through until he deems that you’re ready. By the time that he begins to slide his cock into you you’re a blubbering, oversensitive mess. You’re crying rivers of tears as you cling to him.

“Hold my hand? Please ” You request and he smiles, kissing your tear streaked cheek as he interlaces his longer fingers with yours.

Humans and Na’vi can fuck, but we’rnt designed to. His dick is overwhelimgly big and will really injure you if the two of you aren't careful about this.

You both gasp sharply as his tip breaches you.

It hurts, it’s agonizing. It’s the kind of pleasure pain that you didnt even know could exist. Everytime you think you can adjust, he pushes in another inch. But oh, how you missed it. Being so full it feels like you’re going to burst. You’re pussy flutters as it fights to take him and you focus in on his face.

It’s all scrunched up in heavy concentration. His lips speared between his sharp teeth in a way that has them almost bleeding.

You can't have that. You tug him into a kiss, soothing the abused flesh with your tongue.

“I-I dont want to hurt you” He whimpers as his forehead rests against yours.

“It’s okay, you’re okay” You hum to him, grasping at his hand even tighter “I love what you do to me. I love how you feel”

When he bottoms out you think he must be in your ribs. Hes still, letting your body get used to him. Trying to be kind. You want to tell him that there’s no getting used to his size. That he could fuck you every day for the rest of your lives and he would still feel just as massive.

“Please” you wail instead “please”

The first gentle snap of his pelvis has you both reeling. Your thighs lock around his thin hips, urging him. You can take it. It only takes a little urging for him to lose himself. The harsh stretch of it has you shaking as your over sensitive pussy tightens. You’re coming again, less intense the the previous orgasms, thankfully.

Neteyam had been so focused on making you feel good that he’d neglected his hard, weeping cock. His balls are so full that he knows he’s not going to be able to draw this out.

You know you have to look stupid, mouth hanging open as you raggedly gasp for breath, letting out punched out sounds as Neteyam pounds into you. You cant look away from his face though.

It’s mesmerizing, all of it. The sounds he lets out. The way that his braids sway with the rhythm of his pleasure seeking body. His broad shoulders, bulging biceps and forearms- you are so fucked.

You’re so in love.

“Please Y/N” He wheezes as you squeeze around him, letting go of your hand so he can wrap both of his arms around your lower back “I can’t hold it. W-where should I?”

Oh. Oh, he’s the sweetest man. He always has been.

You peck his lips, not minding that he’s too lost in his own pleasure to really kiss you back

“Come inside me. Come inside me. Come inside me” it’s a heated chant, broken and breathy by the erratic rhythm of his hips and he buries his head in your neck, wailing in the skin there.

Just for a moment, lost in the haze of sex, you can tell he forgets his own strength. Thrusts into you so hard that you scream out in pain, the mushroom tip of his long cock batters your cervix relentlessly. Its a sharp, startling sensation that you’ve never known but you ride it out for him. Desperately trying to keep your whimpers of discomfort at bay.

When he comes, his whole body goes still and ram rod straight. He hugs you tightly to him. You wish you could see his face. Next time, hopefully.

He’s Neteyam, the mighty warrior. The dutiful son. The next clan leader but as he shakes and twitches and basks in the afterglow you can't help but want to baby him. But stroke his back softly, rubbing the residual tension out of his tired muscles.

He’s your big ol’ pussy cat, you’d always teased. He purrs like one every time you’re affectionate with him.

You can’t help but run your hands along his sensitive spine. Let the length of his tail run through the loop of your fingers. He grins and flicks it from side to side. He’d always thought your fascination with it was amusing.

“Are you okay?” he mutters, still hidden in your hair as he starts to come back to himself and you hum, moving up to pat his braids.

“Mmhmm” you’re maybe not as capable of making words as you though you were. He chuckles and hugs you. Holds you in his big arms in a way that makes you feel untouchable.

The two of you lie in that room for as long as you can, until he has to start heading back to Home Tree, it’s almost morning and his parents are early risers. They’ll look for him if hes not in his tent…

It's hard. Letting him go. Even though you know he’ll be back. You keep pulling him back in for kisses, holding onto his muscular arms until he laughs and peels you off of him.

“I’ll be back my love. I’ll always return for you”

You frown but agree, pushing him away to get re-dressed- “How am I supposed to go back like this! Neteyam I don't have any pants!”

He’d shredded your shorts and panties. Literal tatters of cloth are all that’s left.

Neteyam cracks up, almost keeling over. Thinking he’s oh so funny. It lightens the situation and makes letting him go- watching him disappear back in the forest a little easier.

You end up having to pull your fortunately oversized t-shirt down as far as it can go as you make a mad dash across the facility, back to your dorm. You fall asleep grinning, thinking about how the panties had been a necessary sacrifice.

———

Norms on late night watch, keeping a bored, admittedly not sharp enough eye on the security camera’s feeds. With the rainy season, came an influx of Slinths’. It made sense to have a lookout, and somehow he’d gotten saddled with an overnight shift.

He’d definitely fallen asleep for a few hours. Not that he’d tell anyone of that fact.

There is nothing that could prepare him for what he see’s on the screen, over in the desolate East Bay. First, he thinks that he’s hallucinating, his sleep bogged eyes playing tricks on him.

He rubs them hard with his knuckles, not believing the image that is large and clear on the security footage.

It’s Neteyam. Inside the facility which almost never happened. And he’s bending down, his lips locked with Y/N’s . Kissing her hard and long before she punch’s in the code, and opens the air locked door to let him back out into the shadowy eclipse.

Norm’s learned a lot living on this strange moon- Pandora was mysterious. Full of things his brilliant mind would never understand. So he does what he does’ most of the time.

Minds his own business.

So I’ve had this idea cooking for months, but didn’t have the bandwidth to get it written down. The ideas wouldn’t translate to page and I still kind of feel like they didn’t butttttt whatever. This is pure self indulgence. I am so much more in love with Neteyam now. He is SUCH a good guy. Ugh.

Also, please remember that my requests are OPEN! Send in all that good shit. Come blue alien brain rot with me!

[pedge-page]

You know how Romana recently did a fic where guarddog!Joel met puppy!reader? Would you ever do a little drabble where himbo!Joel meets plushie!reader? 🥹💖

I love Guard!Dog and PuppyReader from @romana-after-dark !!!! And I know exactly what you are talking about (because I may have been the anon who requested it 🫢.)

Here we go!

Plush-Bo: Himbo!Joel x Plushies!Reader Crossover

Warnings: im writing this at work on my phone and mentally cannot compute. There's sex. Inappropriate stuff. Language. MOMMY. Plushies. Oral. The weird ass freaky shit you expect from me.

Notes: Everything is written in 3rd person to not confuse reader!characters. plushies!Reader, Himbo!Joel/Himbo, plushies!Joel, and Mommy/Himbo Joel's reader.

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Himbo!Joel would be rutting into her like a rabbit In heat. Exactly how Plushies!Reader likes it, the horny little fucks they are.

"Mommy," he gasps, his voice wrecked. "Mommy Shes so...so s-soft--uuggghhaaaahhhh!" He buries his face into plushies!reader hair to cover his groan.

Pleasure fills his stomach, twisting in ways he's not quite used to. Having something so so so incredible sweet, cottony and pliant, from the scent of her shampoo to the silken draw of her skin. Stuffed animals toppling all over only further the stimulation. Soft,soft,soft, all of her softness tickles his brain in just the right way to have him pounding her sopping pussy deep, flush into the matress with no intuition to slow down.

"Yeah? You like soft things?" Himbo's Mommy coos, stroking his sweaty locks that are covering his beautiful eyes from all that exercise.

He hums with a shy nod. "Not as much as Mommy's pussy--!"

She laugh. "Its okay, it's okay to like other things. Especially something as soft as this." She glides her knuckles across plushies!reader skin, admiring the glow. Especially how himbo!Joel doesn't know what to do with all that softness. All delicate to the touch, when he likes to get his nails in and mark up his Mommy, unintentionally of course. He can't hold back most times. But this? Its laughable how much he just doesn't know what to do with himself except fuck like it's his only directive in life.

Plushies!Reader can barely see straight. Though her Joel is a rough fuck, he's pretty calculated about his sex. But this? Himbo is driving into her at such an incessant, sloppy, high energy rate that her vision is blurring in the back of her skill. She's unable to do anything but drool and moan into the sheets.

It's shocking when he finally howls he's gonna cum, despite plushies!reader had already done so 12 times.

"I-inside!" she squeaks from below. His hands are etched into her pretty hips with his body draped over , low hanging tummy smashed against the curve of her back.

"I-ca-cant" he huffs, managing to pull free of her sweet, dripping pussy. He grips the base of his cock harshly to edge himself. "My cum is only for Mommy." He smirks over to her. "We're gonna breed and have another baby soon."

"How adorable!" Plushies gal beams, catching her breath and hugging her stuffed badger in her arms to cool her heart rate. "Joel. When are you gonna put a baby in me?"

Plushies!Joel wipes the precum from his leaking cock on his jeans. "When ya get on that teddy and show me what a good breeding slut you can be."

Plushies!Reader guides Himbo!Joel excitedly to show off her giant Teddy Plushie. She knows a humper when she sees one.  Despite the tough activity, both of them are immediately ready for more cums.

Mounting Teddy's Face with her messy cunt, Himbo!Joel straddles it's lower belly. He whimpers when he cock is suffocated by a wave of cottony fluff.

"Isn't he nice?" She hums, rolling her hips into the button nose of Teddy. She gasps, doing it again to catch her Plushies!Joel ramping up his pervertedness and jerking off to the scene before him.

Himbo!Joel nods, wide eyed and smiling below. God. Everything in this ROOM is soft and cuddly and humpable and...

Plushies!gal giggles and leans forward to kiss Himbo, and the two of them start rocking with spread legs on the shared Bear.

Himbo Joel hesitates for a moment, looking back towards his lady.

She nods encouragingly. "Go ahead! Have fun with your new toy. Mommy's pussy will be here when you need it."

He nods, tossing all worry out the window and fucking his cock against the Bear's crotch. Himbo can't help but sniff the remnants of Plushie!readers remnants pussy juices that seemed to have permanently permeated the stuffed Teddy's fluff. His balls ache: sooooooo much softness he wants to make even prettier with his seed.

Eventually the two of them fall forward in a heap of panting, griding messes. With their cheek smashed into Teddy's chest, arms wrapped desperately around it's thick body,  they sloppily make our between breaths. Tightly drawn brows and sounds of endless cumming fills the walls of the Plushies room.

Mommy and Plushies!Joel sit back and watch their little horny babies have at it together.

Himbo!Joel cums, splattered and sticky between his and Teddy's Belly. He gasps when Plushie! reader leans forward with her tongue out, happily lapping at the creamy mess off Teddy's fur and then from Joel's slightly hairy tummy. He groans, covering his mouth and watching her work contently. So used to cleaning up his own mess from Mommy, he doesn't know how to react when someone else cleans his mess for him. It's OK if she's just eating his cum right? She won't get pregnant from that. Only Mommy can get pregnant from his precious cum. This is okay.

When Himbo Joel and Plushies reader are spent, they curling up against one another surrounded by her stuffies, steadily breathing in each breath and sleeping after an exhausting but fun day.

Mommy!reader quietly finishes swallowing Plushies!Joel's load from the corner of the room. He sighs heavily, closing his eyes in bliss.

"Got your dog on a pretty loose leash, huh Mommy?" He teases.

Like clockwork, the two of them switch places, with Joel on his knees in front of her spread legs. He wastes no time sucking her pearly clit, tongue darking between her folds.

"He's defensive. Probably would break your jaw right now if he saw."

Joel shrugs, kissing the inside of her thigh.

She twirls his hair between her fingers as he gets to work, staring at the bed. "She's pretty, though."

She feels him grin proudly between her pussy lips. "She is."

.While her Himbo!Joel isnt very skilled, he makes up for it in eagerness. Plushies!Joel on the other hand knows how to draw things out, speed it up, edge and push you over exactly when he desires it. She cums hard, shaking on his expert tongue.

He sucks the juices off his fingers and gestures towards the bed, where Himbo!Joel and Plushies!Reader snuggle in their warm nest.

"I wouldn't mind a play date again with them."

"I think that would be great for them."

- - - -

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel

[ornii]

Could you please tag me in all the parts of my kind of crazy? Cuz i found part 1 and 2 but cant find the rest. And if there is no more could you please continue it?

Yeah I still need to learn how Tagging works, so if anyone can, let me know. But to answer your question no I haven’t made a part three

Until now!

My Kind of Crazy, Part 3

Inside the run down office building, Red Hood motions for Deadshot to follow him. Katana watches them closely as Red Hood opens the door and they both step in, the room was a large office space with multiple computers running programs and systems. And FBI workers tearing and wiping the files. And the one ordering them around was Amanda Waller arguing with Flag.

“You wouldn't have made it without them.” She spoke, packing.

“We got lucky. I don't do luck. I do planning and precision.” Rick replies, and Waller shrugs it off.

“Admit it, Rick. I was right.” She spoke, and Flag wasn’t buying it. “Yeah, I told you to get on the damn truck. Why'd you stay?” He eyed Waller, who stopped packing and gave flag a harsh reality check.

“I was studying your girlfriend. She takes an average person, a yoga mom, an elderly retiree, and she turns them into a soldier who can take a headshot and still fight. It's an instant army. How'd she do it, Flag? How'd she game the system with you watching her every move?” Waller asked, it it was obvious she knew the answer already. Flag buried his pain and ignored the question.

“I'll accept the consequences.” He said

“I am your consequence.” Waller replied with stern emphasis. Just as he prepares to weasel out again, Deadshot and Red Hood approached.”You might need to be careful. They think we're rescuing Nelson Mandela.” Deadshot eyes Waller, who walks past him

“I can take care of myself. Shut it down, wipe the drives.” She gives the order to the Agents who continue to wipe their digital prints from this Operation. Deadshot leans into flags ear as he watches Waller.

“Uh, hey, man, I know you can't hear me 'cause you're trapped in your temple of soldierly self-righteousness, but a two-faced dude like you wouldn't survive a second on the street.” Deadshot points out the obvious Hypocrisy, Flag being called out for lying about this High Value Target.

“Oh, says the guy who shoots people for money.” Flag retorts, Red turns quickly to Waller at the sound of gunfire. Waller has systematically executed the workers. Red could only watch, knowing Waller or Flag could turn his brain into mush. Waller leaves, and Red Hood eyes flag, who doesn’t look very happy about what he’s just witnessed.

“That is just a mean lady.” Deadshot follows.

“Yeah. You get used to it.” Flag grumbled, Red walks past him, “I don’t think a good soldier would let innocent people die, but what do I know right?” Red and Deadshot exit the room, and the Squad see who they’ve been made to protect. Waller and Flag step out into the frying pan of sorts.

“Let's go home.” Flag ordered, it it wasn’t on a natural bass, more of a coercive tone, but it obviously wasn’t working.

“Yeah, let's go home. That sounds good. You guys wanna go home? Or you wanna go back to prison?” Boomerang said, obviously sarcastic, they all had their reasons for not going back home.

“What I'm saying is we kill the pair of 'em now before they kill us.” Boomerang said, which many of agree with, slowly surrounding them, “I got this.” Waller took this one herself, letting Katana and Flag watch, she stepped before the squad, “You all made it this far. Don't get high-spirited on me and ruin a good thing.” Waller shows the explosive device in her hand, much like the one Flag has, all set to explode just like Red Hood predicted. The Squad all share a glance, and they reluctantly escort Waller to the roof. The dark sky has hints of neon lights and flames dance in the sky. Regrouping with Flags men they watch a Helicopter fly towards the Building.

“Savior One-Zero, this is Ground Element. Savior One-Zero, how copy? Savior One-Zero, the LZ's clear.” One of Flags men tries to hail down the Chopper, but no response.

“Boss, they're not talking to me.” He spoke, and Flag quickly assessed the situation, “Our bird's been jacked. Light it up!” Flag and his men open fire on the Helicopter, its panel opens up to Joker, dressed in a suit and with an AK opening fire with manic laughter, a minigun mounted on the heli also opens fire on them, ducking behind AC generators to keep from getting torn to shreds. Red Peers over the unit and his eyes catch a glimpse of that face, the manic laughter, the pale skin. A flood of rage built into Red and he leaped over the Unit, firing his dual pistols at the helicopter. Titanium composite hollow tipped bullets, with a C4 Kicker, explosive ammunition he made himself, the shots land hard on the wall that actually begin to make a dent. They turn the Minigun to him and looks to shred him, before Red can get turned into mince meat, Diablo comes in and tackles him before another AC Unit. He saved Red, who looked at the man, he shrugged it off and kept down to avoid bullet fire, but this wasn’t a random attack it was coordinated, Harley begins to walk to the Helicopter, and Waller orders Flag to execute her, but every tap of the device leads to an error. Harley leaps to the rope and escapes, leaving Waller one less of a member, and Red, a missed opportunity. Dead soldiers litter the roof and everyone steps out of cover, Waller making a B line for Deadshot.

“Deadshot, shoot that woman right now!” She yells, and Deadshot shrugs

“She ain’t do shit to me.” He said lazily

“You're a hitman, right? I got a contract. Kill Harley Quinn. Do it for your freedom and your kid.” Waller said, which was more than enough for him.

“Now she dead.” He walked to a Unit and mounted to fire, heat her Harley dance and swing around, and takes the shot, Harley’s body goes limp, but she suddenly laughs and swings more around, Deadshot missing on purpose, he walked back to the ground.

“I missed.” He said, and Red wasn’t listening, all he felt was red, his chance to kill the Joker, gone. He walked over to the corpse of one of the soldiers, snatching a rifle from its cold dead hands and he mounts up as well, everyone watches as the helicopter takes a slight left. He took everything into consideration and fired, the bullet flew and it hit the cockpit and straight through the pilots skull. They watched the helicopter spiral and go down. Red turned to the group and dropped his gun.

“Got what I wanted… We done here?” He said, everyone was silent, showing the ruthless cold side of the Red Hood. No one knew how to take it, but it’s safe to say for the Red Hood, that felt good. Another Heli picked up Waller and they left. Flag waits as the chopper soars off into the night deploying Flares. Minutes pass and Flag calls in, and listens.

“Ops just confirmed. She's down. 1k west. Let's go get her. The mission's not over.” Flag and his men turned to the exit with the “Heroes”

“Nah. It is for me. We had a deal.” Deadshot spoke up for most of them, everyone.

“Without Waller, you got nothing.” Flag walked off, and the group reluctantly follows. Making ground back on the floor they run into a less than happy Harley Quinn, who survived somehow. She spots them and attempts to put on a happy face.

“So.. shot any good birds lately?” she asked, mixed with sarcasm and scorn.

“One… if it means anything I wasn’t aiming for you.” Red Replies.

“I could kill you..” Harley grumbled

“You’d die trying..” Red replies as they approached Wallers downed chopper. Tears the door open croc side stepped to let them see. But no Waller. Dead corpses but none hers. Red Activated his detective mode in his visor. He scans around and they’re dead.

“I don’t see any of Wallers blood, gun residue everywhere though.. she tried to fight off whoever came for her.. rains going to be a pain in the pass to pick up any blood or sweat to track.”

“What’s your point?” Deadshot asked, Red turned to him. “My Point.. is that they captured her, they didn’t want her dead.. that have some use for her. But for what, I don’t know.” He said, and spots Wallers bag and began to ruffle though it. And sees a black binder and begins to sift though it and red was silent, he turned to Deadshot and handed him the binder. “The Hell’s this?” He asked.

“Why we’re here..” he responds, Deadshot reads it and looked back up to Red, he angrily takes the binder and storms off to Flag, he hurls the binder at the wall and everyone turns to flag. Deadshot and Flag are eye to eye.

“You tell everybody everything. Or me and you gonna go right now.” He said, and flag’s face told a story, and he reluctantly explained. “Three days ago, a non-human entity appeared in the subway station, So Waller sent me and a woman with incredible abilities. Enchantress. A witch. See, nobody could get near this thing, but the witch could. Needless to say, the whole thing was a bad idea, the woman was… possessed by the Enchantress, she’s held captive by her. We were going to blast a hole in the subway under the entity and.. she tricked us with the bomb, And that's how she escaped from Waller. So now you know.” Flag explained his turmoil, to everyone who listened and everyone respectfully was sick of it. Red scoffed, “we’re sent on this death mission to fix your fuck up..” he folds his arms, and Deadshot shook his head and looked around, and saw a Bar.

“You can just kill me right now, but I'm going to have a drink.” Deadshot walked off and Harley follows.

“Hey, Deadshot, I need your help.” Flag pleads, but flint shook his head

“No, sir. You need a miracle.” Deadshot and the others head in, Red Hood was the last to leave and looks Flag up and down. “Might as well call the big man in the sky for that.” He gave one last stinger and walked into the bar, he saw the others enjoying their drinks and slumped in a seat next to Deadshot. Harley was tending and eyed the man.

“Oh, Dead Hood.” Harley still has a pretty sharp bone to pick with him.

“Not my name…” he responded and Deadshot looks around.

“Well, we almost pulled it off despite what everybody thought.”

“We weren’t picked to succeed..” Diablo chimes in, and Deadshot agrees, “Worst part of it is, they're going to blame us for the whole thing. And they can't have people knowing the truth. We're the patsies. The cover-up. Don't forget, we're the bad guys. And, uh, for about two sweet seconds, I had hope.” Deadshot flushed down his drink.

“You had hope, huh? Hope don't stop the wheel from turning, my brother.” Diablo looks at the empty shot glass before him

“You preaching?”

“It's coming back around for you. How many people you killed, man?” Diablo asks Deadshot, who admittedly probably doesn’t even know, the bodies left in his wake. “It’s Karma for us, especially for me..” he continued

“See, I was born with the Devil's gift. I kept it hidden for most of my life, but... The older I got, the stronger it got. So I started using it. For business, you know. The more power on the street I got, the more fire power I got. Like, that shit went hand in hand. You know? One was feeding the other. Ain't nobody tell me no. Except my old lady. You know, she used to pray for me. Even when I didn't want it. God didn't give me this. Why should he take it away? See, when I get mad, I lose control. You know, I just... I don't know what I do..till it's done.” Diablo made a woman of fire in his hand.. and snuffed out her flame, Red listened, memories of his own father flooding on.

“And the kids?” Boomerang asked, fearful himself.

“He killed them.” Red spoke up, and he took off his helmet to reveal his face and sighed. “I remember…” Red stopped talking and shut up, almost revealing his other identity, but Harley wasn’t up for silence.

“Own that shit. Own it! What'd you think was gonna happen? Huh?” She said to Diablo.

“Hey, Harley. Come on.”

“What, you were just... Thinking you can have a happy family and coach little leagues, and make car payments? Normal's a setting on the dryer. People like us, we don't get normal!” She yelled, and Boomerang sharply put his glass down.

“Why is it always a knife fight every single time you open your mouth? You know, outside you're amazing. But inside, you're ugly. We all are.” He said, and Red piped up. “.. So, you just.. willow in that hole?” He started and stood up, he walked over to Diablo as everyone watched. “You kill your wife and kids and you think you deserve a cell for the rest of your life? Feeling sorry for yourself? I got a temper too so I understand, but you’re still in control of your actions.” Red turned to Harley.

“You know why I shot your chopper down?” He asked, everyone really leans in now. Red shows the J scar on his cheek, “see who I got this from?” He said, and Harley began to remember. “You’re—“

“I was.. Robin. I probably helped put a few of you in prison. I went after Joker by myself one time. Didn’t think Batman understood.. and my temper got me. He.. beat me, for days, starved, tortured me, and once in a while, I saw you in the corner, laughing. And when he finished, he blew me to pieces.. I was fourteen. Lazus pit.. Now look at me. This, was my choice... Now I gotta live with it. Same way you gotta live with it.” (Y/n) walked back to his seat, and slumped down.

Everyone was silent, he felt a glass tap his finger and he looked up to Harley give what he can only assume is an apology whiskey. “Mista J is.. not the best when it comes to dealing with kids. I guess I’m not either, maybe you were right when you said that.. maybe I’m just another victim, I mean what lady watches a man beat a.. teenager.” She said to herself, Red took it and downed it effortlessly. “I’m twenty two now, not a teenager anymore.”

For a moment it seemed the two can actually form a decent but obviously volatile relationship, but then, Flag enters the Bar and slumps down next to Red.

“We don't want you here.” Harley frowns, and Flag looks at Red, “You get to the part in that binder saying I was sleeping with her?” He said, Red raises an eyebrow. “Nope, I never been with a witch before. What's it like? I mean I’ve flirted with death before but I don’t go that far.” Red shrugged and Deadshot leaned to see Flag.

“Apparently, that's why the creatures chase him all the time. 'Cause the witch is scared of him.” He chuckled, but Flag shook his head, pain in his voice.

“The only woman I ever cared about is trapped inside that monster. If I don't stop the witch, it's over. Everything is over. Everything. You're free to go.” Flag smashes the device and breaks it, and Boomerage makes a break for it. Red sighs and turns to Flag. “Your girlfriend is going to destroy the world, isn’t she?” He asked, Flag was silent and Red put the mask Back on and gripped his pistols. “Well.. fuck it.” Red stood up. “Let’s go Flag.. least you can say you died tying.” Red walked away, and everyone watched him, and Deadshot sighed and stood up and followed out, Red peeked back in.

“Yo Harley, you coming?” He asked, she shrugged and grabbed her baseball bat. “Don’t have anything else better to do.” She said and followed, everyone now filled with a bit of nepotistic energy follow, if they head into the abyss, at least they go in screaming. flag has the back of the squad, even if they’re “Criminals.” And Captian Boomerang comes back, like a, Boomerang.

Outside the large square, the squad now prep for the final assault, Red tossing a camera to a wall and using his visor to look around, “looks like there’s a woman.. and a massive guy next to her, that’s our targets?”

“Yeah. It isn’t going to be easy getting to her, I did leave a big demo charge down there in that subway. There's a flooded tunnel, leads right underneath that building. SEALs, they can recover the charge, swim in underneath that thing's feet. We get in its face and distract the hell out of that son of a bitch so the swimmers can blow the bomb. That's how we take it out.” Flag gives a solid plan. Croc pipes up

“I'm going with ya.” He spoke to the SEALS, as if they had some choice.

“We got this.” One said, and croc tore off his upper shirt and jacket. “I'm not asking, bro. I live underground. Y'all are just tourists.” Croc and the seals swim in the flooded subway and the main squad prepare for a literal suicide mission. They walked along the subway and corpses strung the pillars. Blood and black ooze follow. They reach the central station platform. Inside felt like a theatre of darkness, whatever dark magic she was conjuring.

“Hey, everyone can see all this trippy magic stuff, right?” Harley asks

“Yeah. Why?” Red replies.

“I'm off my meds.” She weakly smiled. Deadshot and Flag look to the center, of Enchantress continuing to open the

“So that's your old lady?” Deadshot nods in approval.

“Yeah.”

“Well, you need to handle this shit, all right? Get up there, smack on her ass, tell her, "Knock this shit off." Deadshot said, which flag couldn’t tell if he was being serious it not.

“I do not think that'd be wise. I'm gonna draw out the big one. My boys will detonate the bomb underneath him.” Flag gives the order but before they step out, Enchantress calls out to them.

“I've been waiting for you all night. Step out of the shadows. I won't bite. Why are you here? Because the soldier led you? And all for Waller. Why do you serve those who cage you? I am your ally. And I know what you want.” The woman calls out, and begins to show the squad their true dreams, what they truly wish for, Deadshot to rewrite that day, Harley., a family. And (Y/n), who stood across Bruce with a smile, as he’s still Robin.

“Alright Bruce.. what’s on tonight?”

“Patrol, Arkham’s never safe.” He said sternly, (Y/n) gave a smirk and nodded. He felt the suddenly jank of reality, Red saw Diablo in his face.

“It's not real. She trying to play games with you, man. - It's not real!” He yells to all of them, who slowly come down from their dream, and step out to face enchantress. She sees her tricks didn’t work, and frowns.

“The sun is setting, and the magic rises. The metahumans are a sign of change.” Enchantress saw their minds aren’t changing now, and casted a spell, stomping from the back the larger monster approached.

“Who's this?”

“It's gonna be bad!”

“We should run.”

Red Didn’t take advice well and charges in, leaping past its tendrils and firing off his rounds, it began to bend the mental skin and make the monster cry out. He leaped onto its back and slammed an explosive charge on it, he hurls red hood off of him. Deadshot takes aim and hits the explosive dead on, but no effect! Boomerang hurls his boomerangs that do not to stop it, the monster grabs the Australian by the neck and prepares to turn him as well. Kitana leaps off a counter and slices the hand off with a clean cut, only for the Mayan grow it back, bullets and explosives only infuriate it. Before Harley can get crushed by the Mayan for a bat swing, Red fires his grappling hook to her shirt and reels her to safety.

“We can get him in the corner.” Red pops off more shots, and Diablo steps up!

“I lost one family. I ain't gonna lose another one. I got this. Let me show you what I really am.” Diablo rushed forward and blast a bellow of flames at it, only to infuriate the monster who kicks him away. It awaken the true El Diablo! His body underwent a harrowing transformation into El Diablo! The meta human battles with the Mayan. Pushing him to the edge he and the Mayan are right at the corner

“Diablo, get clear! Get outta there!” Flag yells, the Meta turns to them, “Blow it!” He orders, and Red watched The Mayan and Diablo go up in smoke and rubble in the explosion. He laid for it.. he lived. And died with his choice. Red stood up and walked to the hole, but he forgot that this battle was far from over, Enchantress still had her power.

“My spell is complete. Once you and your armies are gone, my darkness will spread across this world. And it will be mine to rule.” Enchantress activated her portal, which begins to tear the world apart. And the true enchantress escapes, her body devoid of color, black, like the ooze leaking from all she touches, and she attacks them, their bullets, blades, nothing can harm her!

“You got a move here, Flag?” Red tackled flag out of the way from getting his head taken off.

“We gotta cut her heart out. While we're fighting, that thing's laying waste to the whole damn world.” Flag said, “You guys have any plans on cutting her heart out?”

“I got one..” Red said. “How long have you been thinking about it?” Harley adds in.

“Maybe five minutes..” Red begins to try something, anything, tapping into the power of the Lazuris pit and felt a heartbeat within it all. A hilt of pure red energy began to emit from his heart. He gripped the handle with both palms and pulled it from him, a red blade of energy was now his. “Huh, this might work.. I cut her chest open and you guys tear the heart!” Red gives the order and charges in, Enchantress swings and fires magic, Red put the blade up and it began to deflect the magic, he leapt forward with a slash and fought Enchantress in the arm. It cut her body made of magic. Her body couldn’t heal from it, the scar emitting a red haze. She looked up worried and Red begins to put more pressure on her, and catches her right on the chest with an upward slash, Enchantress screams in pain, and the squad see the chance, Harley, Deadshot, Kitana and Boomerag grab her arms and legs and flag comes from behind. Just for the moment Enchantress was taken aback, and Red goes in with a blade straight though her heart. Time slows down as the enchantress blinked. The light leaving her eyes in a flash the eruption of light left the station and the bleak sun shined though, and June was right before Red. Confused and why a sword was though her body Which disappeared. Flag realized that his June was back, and hugged her. I suppose it was a happy ending

“Y'all don't mind, I got me a sewer to crawl back into.” Croc turns to leave and Red sighed and turned to the front, “Yeah, and I got some business to handle back in Gotham.” Red dusts himself off

“I'm going to hotwire a car. Need a ride?” Harley offered, but before he can reply, Waller, who’s somehow still alive steps out with her explosive device.

“How are you not dead?” Deadshot said in disbelief. “We just saved the world. A "thank you" would be nice.” Harley spoke, and Waller tilts her head “Thank you.” She said sarcastically, “You're welcome.” Harley replies with a smile.

“So, we did all of this and we don't get shit?”

“Ten years off your prison sentences.”

“Nah, that's not enough. I'm seeing my daughter.” Deadshot kept his eyes locked on Waller who reluctantly agreed.

“That can be arranged. Any other requests?” “An espresso machine.” Harley said

“��BET.” croc nods, and Boomerang scoffs.

“Ten years off a triple life sentence? Darling, I'm walking out of here a free man or we're going to start having some real fun.” He approaches Waller, who coldly stepped up to Boomerang. “Why don't we have some fun?” She replies scaring the piss out of the Captian. Red shrugged, he got his revenge after all.

Back at Belle Reeve, (Y/n) sits in his cell, footsteps echo from the Door and he cracks his knuckles, ready to fight.

“Whoever it is… gonna put.. 14 in the ICU.” He said, and the voice of God, Waller spoke to him. “That won’t be needed, you’re getting released.”

“…What?” He stood up from his bed, staring at the Door expecting death, what opened was something much more than that, he could only muster one word

“…Bruce?”

@henkermen

[italladdsup]

dumbification training. I wake up in a decently sized room, my feet chained to a chair with a computer in front of me. I'm sitting on a pair of vibrating dildos, one in each hole. A shock collar sits unoticingly comfortable around my neck, and a pair of headphones sit on my head.

The computer turns on. It seems to be on some sort of standardized testing program, the same ones you'd see students taking in a classroom during exam week. Questions headline the top of the screen, with the answers lined up in a multiple choice format. The instructions tell me to answer honestly and to the best I can. It doesn't say how many questions there are. The headphones play a soft buzzing noise and read out the questions.

First question pops up. It's a reading comprehension question. I skim over the paragraph, and I answer the question correctly, only to be met with brief electrocution. The screen moves automatically to the next question. Something about geometry, i to answer it correctly, but I'm shocked again when I do. Third question, something about English grammer. I'm shocked again. This keeps up for a few more questions.

By the 10th question, I can't take another shock, so I purposefully answer the question wrong, just to see what would happen. The screen flashes and in an instant, all my pain is gone. I feel a brief sense of relief and relaxation wash over me. The voice in the headphones praises me for answering 'correctly'

Next question appears on screen, and it's... harder? It's another reading comprehension question with a brief paragraph, but I'm struggling to read it. It's like the words are just flying past my brain. I get the question wrong, the voice praises me, I get hit with a wave of relief, and the dildos beneath me start to vibrate lowly.

The questions start to get simpler, going from high school level questions to kindergarten level questions. Every time I get one wrong, the vibrators get stronger I get blasted with a wave of pleasure. At some point I stop even reading them, I just answer at random to feel even more pleasure.

The questions start to get hornier, like asking me what a certain sex position is or how to perform a certain act. When I answer those correctly, I get edged. The screen 'asks' me to repeat mantras, and rewards me with pleasure when I do so.

It asks me, "does it feel good to be dumb?" "Does it feel good to obey?" and of course I answer yes. "Who thinks for you?" Master does. "What do you know?" Whatever Master tells me I know.

At the end of it, the screen turns into a flashing spiral. The voice tells me what a good job I did at learning how to be a dumb slut. The dildos thrust into me at the highest vibration speed, and when I get permission to cum, I have one of the greatest orgasms of my life.

After I cum, I've lost nearly all my ability to think for myself. I can't read anything above basic children's books, and can't do any math more advanced than basic addition. I cant remmeber how to write unless i'm told to write something.

But it's fine, I'm a dumb slut. I love being a dumb slut. All dumb sluts need to know is whatever their Master tells them to. Master thinks for me, and I'm so happy and grateful he does. Master is so smart, it's only right for him to think for me.

[cephaloclod]

i had a thought today

what if there was a robot girl and she had a crush on you and you knew it and she was trying to ingratiate herself to you so she offered to run some of your computer programs for you on her cpu cuz haha why not haha and youre like aww thanks so you boot up your virtual doll game of choice (im talking ffxiv but you can use whatever in ur dumb brain) and download a bunch of modded clothes and start taking up all her spare memory and shes like uuuuh hehe thats a lot of mods… and youre like lol yeah i wanna try on a bunch of stuff and shes like haha yeah lol… and shes all nervous cuz you keep downloading more and more and she doesnt wanna tell you to stop obvs so shes just going along with it and then you get in the game and crank up the r-shade to the highest settings and you hear her fans kick on to overdrive and shes like uuuh whats up and youre like oh just taking a few quick pics of my heavily modded character haha i wont be long and her fans are getting louder and faster and you can see shes already getting hotter but shes still being nice and doesnt wanna seem mean so you start trying on all the modded clothes and taking a ton of different screenshots and ofc its like all horny big tiddie stuff cuz like thats the fun so shes just getting her already limited memory space spammed by whats turning out to be hundreds of super high fidelity high res screen shots of a hornily/scantily clad big boobed fat assed virtual character and shes like getting really overheated now but like soooo much of her cpu is being used to run this game and at all the highest settings with all those fancy shaders and all that junk so shes like struggling to keep it together and she cant really say much except make loud fan noises as you just sit there and spam her with more and more ridiculous pics at ridiculous angles of your character and her memories almost full but youre still taking more and she finally manages to squeek out something like a maybe we should take a breather for a second but youre like oh but im almost done and my character is just so much fun to take screencaps of and is soooo hot and shes just like yyeeahfh as you take like five more pics of ur toons ass and now the game is running really slow so its taking even longer to set up the shots to take the pictures and the computer girl is just like treading water in this lagged overheated state staring at your beloved characters huge modded rack as you try on another new shirt and realize you wanna go back and see what it looks like with those tights from earlier and she still just doesnt wanna say anything to inconvenience you and maybe this is a good way to die anyway she thinks well thinks is a strong word cuz like 99% of her cpu is being used to render the exposed midriff of your virtual cat girl or whatever it is so she just kinda feels it and the room you two are in is like getting really hot cuz shes just producing so much heat and you can see shes struggling to keep it together and the game is chugging alone reeeeeeeeal slow now and ur just like only a few more outfits im almost done and honestly you kinda would be annoyed but you know shes doing her best and you know it and atm she cant even really respond except to keep her fans going full blast so you like zoom in on your lizard girl or whatevers cleavage and just give her a good eyeful for a couple seconds knowing its literally taking up basically 100% of her processing power at this point and youre like thanks for doing this i loooove my character soooo much shes just soooo hot haha and just so great

[onskepa]

Unlista chapter 1

Hey hey hey!! here is where the series begins! Had to re-write this a couple of times! Hopefully this is good! Enjoy! <3 Uniltsa series

[first pov]

I expected a light, I expected some holy gate to heaven or if some miracle, the hospital. But instead, I opened my eyes to see metallic walls and floors, full of lights in weird styles. Funny enough I dont have a headache despite being hit by a truck. Still, looking around I immediately notice, this isn't some health facility. This doesn't look remotely like anything I know at all! Looking down at my hands and legs, its my body, I am still the same me, thats good. So, where the fuck am I?

Looking down, I almost screamed the top of my lungs. There is a big, blue giant thing in the same room as me. Quickly yet quietly I moved to the farthest part of the room. Honestly I should be screaming but who out there will help me? Am I being kidnapped?! Nothing made sense to me. My head was delirious and I am just assuming so much none sense in my brain.

Suddenly the blue thing moved and groaned and muttered something under its breathe. So it talks?

"ean...? up already? thats new" that voice.......there is no freaking way.....

I couldnt help it, my mouth moved on its own, "l-lo'ak...?".

The blue being sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. The familiar hair style, the voice, the clothing, the FREAKING STRIPES!!

"yeah?" he responds. I just stared at him. Getting a good look at his face. He is real. Lo'ak is real. Getting closer to him I was just amazed. If lo'ak is real then.....

Quickly I ran out of the room and out into the unknown facility. Cold metal everywhere, high tech computers, holograms, sci-fi looking stuff everywhere! It was a lot in one sight.

[third pov]

The girl could help but laugh. Laugh like was some joke to her. Many of the science guys turns to stare at her. Confused, norm stepped closer to her. "hey....you ok? lo'ak said some joke of the century or what?" he asked but the girl kept laugh. Lo'ak stepped out of the room being just as confused as the rest.

"I take she had a good sleep??" another familiar voice was heard. Spider, walking up to the three. He looked down to see his friend laughing, not like something was funny, but laughing like there is something she cant believe.

She stopped laughing and quickly got up. "I NEED A MINUTE!!" she shouted and ran back in her room.

"is she having her-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"nope too early to deal with this" norm held his hands up and left. That left lo'ak and spider looking at each other in confusion. This is definitely out of the range of what their friend does. Spider feeling concerned knocked on the door, "hey uniltsa? you ok?" he asks. No answer. Turning to lo'ak who shrugged his shoulders. Before anything else is said, the doors opened once more, with their friend wide eyes.

"w-what did you say?" she asks nervously. "uniltsa? you know we call you that since forever" lo'ak provides.

[first pov]

ok ok. Uniltsa. A nick name. Same with spider. I can go with that. I dont know if my name is the same in this world. "y-yeah" i muttered out. Taking a deep breathe I tried to keep my cool. "haha sorry, I honestly dont know what happened to me. I guess I must have had a crazy dream last night" I laughed it out scratching my head. They seem to buy it. "just give me a another minute to change yeah?" I shut the door once more and looked around for whatever clothes there might be. In a box at the corner were....stuff? There were what I guess are loinclothes and tops with beads and feathers. Did this world me dressed like a na'vi? like spider? There were still things I am so confused about but I just gotta roll with it.

Putting some of the......clothes on, I felt super naked. I remember that na'vi don't care much of exposed body, but still! I looked at a mirror for the first time. I dont look all that different from real world me. Speaking of, what happened to my body? are my parents ok? Parents? do I have parents in this world? Taking a deep sigh once more I collected myself again. I think I look fine enough.

Leaving the room to see lo'ak and spider chatting. "So you finally calmed down with whatever was going on?" lo'ak asked me. So crazy he is talking me. "Y-yeah, I'm good!" I quickly responded. Not much of a reaction with what I am wearing. I take it that is a good sign.

"well ready to go? we're gonna miss breakfast" lo'ak said as he grabs my hand. The size was massively big. Seeing him on the tv screen is one thing, but to have him in front of me and really feel his hand. Wow.

[third pov]

Uniltsa, as they called her that, was confused but did her best not to show it. Lo'ak grabbed her hand and lead the way out. She noticed they were heading towards the exit of the laboratory. Remembering clearly from the movies, the pandora air was toxic to humans. Where as the masks. Why isnt spider getting a mask? Scared deep down, she took a deep breathe and the doors open to the outside world.

She closed her eyes, waiting for something, but that something never came. She opened her mouth, letting the pandora air flow in her lungs. Uniltsa wasn't gasping, not short of breathe, nothing. Nothing like how she remembered from the films. Something changed for sure.

Spider took a deep breathe, soaking in the sun and the fauna. "Damn, your invention never fails uniltsa. Come on, I know tuk is the gonna get the good ones before we make it!" spider says as he makes a run for it. Lo'ak shouted after him, and before uniltsa knew it, lo'ak picked her up in his arms and ran to meet up with spider.

Uniltsa make a squeaking sound. Lo'ak picked her up. Lo'ak is carrying her in his arms like she weighs nothing, Lo'ak who is real, breathing, living, his skin she can touch.

As he ran, uniltsa looked all over their surrounding. The trees, the plants, the insects, the sky, the water, the flower, all of it. It was real. Pandora is real. If this is truly a dream, uniltsa wishes to never wake up.

And that is it for chapter 1! chapter is definitely already in the works, wanna make this good for everyone! Hope you all enjoyed it! until next time!

Uniltsa = dream of, dream about, dream (that)

Taglist: @tojisleftarm

[messenger-of-stupidity]

However, Your Mother

Welcome back to another Shaw Mates Group Chat Post that totally hasn't been sitting completed in my drafts for over a month because I forgot to post it nope not at all that would be utterly ridiculous ahahaha

This is pretty short though because my brain has been filled with angst for the past several months and crack isn't really doing much for me atm.

CW: Angel is back on their crack shit but keeps getting rejected, Baabe is living for the gossip, Sweetheart is a bit more active, Sam just wants some normality but he should know better by now fr fr

Actual CW: Crack, Cursing, Shenanigans, GN Listeners, Any gendered terms are purely for the memes and should not be taken seriously in any kind of way.

<- Previous ---- Masterlist ---- Next ->

Sweetheart: My supervisor is literally dog turds

Angel: i dont know whether to be happy i wasnt first or upset that u didnt say cat litterbox droppings

Baabe: what happened invisi?

Sweetheart: Were circling back to that nickname later. Whats wrong is that theyre making me stay late

Angel: but but 2nites mate nioght

Sweetheart: I know it is thats why Im upset

Baabe: theres only one thing left to do. we cause a error in the computer system and hold their information hostage so that way invisi can sneak out. get it? sneak? cause theyre a stealth? im so funny.

Sam: I knew it was too much to hope that for once this was a normal and legal conversation, and yet I did so regardless. Good lord.

Angel: vamp daddy

Angel: welcome to another episode of davey is gonna kill me

Baabe: whatd you do?

Angel: hol up a sec i need to wait for invisi and vamp daddy to be here

Baabe: if this was discord we could @ them.

Angel: omg it would be so fun to have a mates disc call

Baabe: IT WOULD

Sam: This is the highest level of my tolerance. I don't think I could handle a group call with all of you. Especially without David to monitor.

Angel: davey do be a sexy supervisor vroom vroom

Sam: I'm never going to be able to look at David the same now. Thank you for that.

Angel: yw now where is my invisible hoe

Baabe: imma call them.

Angel: that just leaves vamp daddy and me (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Sam: Oh dear lord.

Angel: nope just me

Sweetheart: Whatd I miss

Baabe: angel fucked up again.

Sweetheart: Oh good

Angel: cool now that everyones here

Angel: how does one get dough off high ceilings and back into the kitchen

Sam: Do I even want to know how you managed that?

Baabe: by asking you have become complicit. congrats!

Sam: Shit.

Sweetheart: Before I tell you I wanna know how tf you managed to do that

Angel: so i was making pizza rite

Baabe: its gonna be a multi text situation. neat.

Angel: and the impulsive urge to yeet that motherfucker at the ceiling with the force of a thousands suns came upon this bitch

Sam: And that should be a lesson in control, kiddos.

Angel: but i couldnt do it in the kitchen because i wasnt in the kitchen

Sweetheart: Then where tf were you

Angel: in davey and me bedroom

Baabe: omg this keeps getting better. i cant wait to tell Ash.

Angel: we have hella high ceilings so i got on the bed and threw the dough at the ceiling

Angel: now its stuck and davey is gonna come home any minute

Sweetheart: I lied I have no idea how to get pizza dough off high ceilings I just wanted to hear the story hehehehe

Angel: ((유∀유|||))

Baabe: all mates are wonderful. all werewolves are awesome (except chrissy all my homies hate chrissy) but Ash is by far the best. <3

Angel: omg i literally luv my house husband

Sweetheart: Disagree what evidence do you have

Baabe: three words invisi.

Angel: i love you

Baabe: no

Angel: rejected by my waifu im never gonna financially recover alexa play the wheels on the bus

Baabe: breakfast. in. bed.

Sweetheart: Three words for you

Angel: i love you

Sweetheart: No

Angel: rejected twice in one day by my waifus alexa play arabian nights

Sweetheart: Crumbs. In. Bed.

Sam: Why was this what I had to come in to?

Angel: sam wont reject me will u vamp daddy

Sam: Without hesitation I absolutely will.

Angel: im literally gonna kms ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

[apollotronica]

APOLLO CAN U TELL ME ABOUR ON E OF UR OCS.. i was thinkin about how hearing u talk ab them kinda inspired me to actually pick my projects back up and also i think they r sick as helll :3 pretty pleaase ? ./NF!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

OKAY SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY I WAS STUCK IN THE LABRYNTH (i couldnt decide which oc to talk about) BUT i relauzed i havent really talkrd about hiiro at all on here :3 EVERYTHING UNDER CUT and ill format it like i formatted the buwan post :3

this hiiro (left image most recent) ignore thr typology on the right its outdated

fun facts :3

likes: warm cloudy weather, bright lights, computers and technology, large cities, classic literature, anatomy and neurology, strong flavors, squid ink pasta

dislikes: most people, sunny days, manual labor, following orders, bland food, going outside, trains and train stations, getting wet

nationality: japanese

relatives: (adoptive) mother and father, elder sister (pacchi, 2 years older), younger sister (heru, 3 years younger)

early life (sort of???) (cw child injury/neglect, bullying, ableism?)

disclaimer i havent Fully fleshed out its backstory so this will just be a large summary of . stuff that Occured

hiiro and his sisters were put up for adoption almost immediately after heru was born (hiiro being 3, pacchi being 5) and they took turns taking care of her bcuz their parents were too "busy" to hire babysitters. hiiro and pacchi got into a fight while heru (like toddler age atp) tried to break them up. because hiiro has always been quick to anger and sort of physical, when heru tried to intervene his first instinct was to push her as hard as he could while yelling at her to stay out of it, it doesnt involve her . errmm aftermath of that argument was . heru got permenant brain damage and hiiro and pacchis relationship Completely broke apart :[ aww womp womp . Ok fast forward . heru is homeschooled by a tutor and hiiro and pacchi are both in junior high. pacchi is popular and friendly and pretty, but her grades are lacking . hiiro has always been incredibly smart (even though pacchi is 2 years older, he skipped a school year or two and is in her same year), but his social life is miserable . because of his temper and Overall Unfriendliness he was put in separate classes away from his peers where he was the only student under a teacher who didnt care about hiiro or Pretty much anything . it wasnt seen often but when he Was seen he was beat up n bullied relentlessly n followed home , so a lot of the time he spent nights hidden in the school or in damp alleys because he didnt want to lead anyone dangerous back to pacchi and heru . when he Was home pacchi ignored him and heru would try to make conversation but hiiro was Pretty much entirely nonverbal during their school years . at home hiiro drew and wrote and played like anyone else his age but bcuz hiiro looked different and sounded different and acted different it ended up outcast and alienated :[ womp womp

career ??

aaaanyway yada yada hiiro graduates early n basically disappears into researching neurology n brains n Specifically how theyre "programmed" , they end up lowkey kidnapping a couple people to experiment on them w a janky "neuroprogramming" device that, once hes sure is Safe To Use , hiiro uses on itself :3 the way proples brains show up on the device isnt like an mri or anything , the way it shoes up actually Depends on the person so sometimes itll be a short rpg or lines of code or Minesweeper and because hiiro Made the device they can decipher what each brain thing means and collects data based off that . but because what he does is Very illegal the government eventually tracks him down and forces it to work w them or theyll Krill him .

fun facts part Two :3

hiiro has only had alcohol Once and despite being of legal age they were kicked out for looking too young . he cant hold his liquor

he frequents a gaming cafe and knows all the staff by name but is too embarrassed to be seen in front of other people , so it rents out the whole cafe when it wants to go

hiiro has 3 cats and they are all Huge

after he Reappeared hiiro actually reconnected w his sisters and visits them as often as possible . Its not very affectionate at all though

i actually made his voice claim miyashita yuu . the songs where hes louder and yelling r more what i was thinking at the time , but i think miyayuu's soft speaking voice works as well

all the sleeves on their sweaters are slightly tethered and frayed because he fidgets with them while working . the right sleeve is more torn than the left

he doodles in his free time and has posted a couple oneshots on obscure manga forums . they dont keep up with them but one of them ended up getting really popular

hiiro Loves scifi . his entire apartment is decorated in super lame and obscure scifi anime posters and figures

THANKIES !!!

[freebooter4ever]

i talked with jilly bean for as long as her kids would let her today, and she's been trying to undo the guilt i feel over grandma telling me i should just choose to not be sick and stop seeing doctors. anyway i was describibg the 'elemental' diet to jillian and she said she would fly down to LA to work here remotely and take care of me for the two weeks it takes to kill off the bacteria if i end up having to do that (i still have two rounds of back to back antibiotics to try first). so that might be my early november right there.

but as i was crying a little over how during the bad hours i cant do anything like read or even watch tv because its hard for my brain to follow, she was asking if there is anything i do that even is remotely comforting or distracting. and i was like LOL. well. and admitted that ive been scrolling through old hockey gifs and pictures and i was like this is evgeni and sent her the video:

Ok so some backstory jilly bean and i grew up together, both of us living in the same little neighborhood for 18 years. And our high school football team was like...state champions the entire time i think ( i say think because the only time i realized i should have the 'high school experience' and actually go to games was as a senior ) ( we definitely won state that year lol ). Except like... Our graduating class was some of the first championship years so the football field was more rudimentary and only the popular kids and band members and families could get seats on the bleachers (the yellow arrow):

The entire bit circled in blue did not exist in my day lol. anyway my point is if you were kind of a weirdo and didnt have friends to give you seats you just ended up wandering around the track (the bit i colored purple). I never paid much attention to the actual football game i was just there to support jillian who desperately wanted to feel like a normal teenager. She was the sports fan, i was the nerd who forced her to watch lord of the rings.

Jillian would make up dances while we walked back and forth on the endline to stay warm. We were not cheerleaders by any stretch of the imagination - this is washington state in the fall and winter, back then 90% of the time it was raining, we were bundled up in jeans and sweatshirts. But my favorite of her 'cheers' was the 'ewok dance' which consisted of humming star wars music and a lot of less flexible leg lifts. Watching geno's uncoordinated jumping around and waving the towel took both jillian and i back about twenty years i think, lol.

ANYWAY my point is she approves:

🤣🤣🤣

See turnabout is fairplay though because even longer ago when we were extremely awkward preteens in middle school, while i was transitioning from my historical pirates phase to my elves phase, jillian was becoming increasingly obsessed with baseball. It wouldnt be until POTC was released that finally our interests collided and we both decided pirates were the coolest. In the meantime, 12 year old jillian went online searching for a brett bo*one desktop background for her family's computer. This story could end really inappropriately because 90s internet but instead jillian just happened to find a relatively tame photo edit that stuck boone's head on top of an extremely musclar angel with feathered wings and wearing nothing but a diaper. I mean you think sports fans are creative now...thats nothing compared to early 90s geocities. She made this 'boonie angel' her family's computer background much to the amusement of her computer scientist father.

'boonie angel' quickly became an inside joke. At one point jillian ended up with a lifesize sticky cut out on the wall of her room of actual boone hitting a home run. And the only reason i ever went to seattle baseball games was to support jillian's ridiculous crush (our other friend nuri only came for the stadium sushi which was all the rage during the ich*iro era). And i would randomly gift jillian with cards depicting the signature stick figure 'boonie angel' like this guy enjoying the rose garden yesterday (note the diaper, that was important for his modesty):

Keep in mind boonie angel was like...a thirty year old man. Nothing about this made sense, to this day i have no idea why jillian latched so hard onto this player. But back then preteen me was crushing hard on fictional elves who were immortal thousands of years old so i couldnt exactly judge (my favorite was kyrtian from elvenborn who was this reclusive military genius with a heart of gold who tried to hide behind a veneer of 'madness' to avoid the evil elves and was suddenly thrust into the spotlight when the rich and powerful elves realized they could exploit kyrtian's academic talent)(he was so much more complex and interesting than legolas and also he shared my daddy issues).

So what im sayin is i enabled her ridiculousness, and i should have known she'd be more than willing to enable mine lmaooooo.

ok but now im wondering what geno would look like as an angel with a diaper....

[luetta]

i'm going back to what 16 year old me used to do in full swing i think. type to myself on dead forums. wanna know a story about me? i used to post on that nazi reddit alternative website voat. for years. not anything political, i just made a subreddit that was my username and made posts everyday about how obsessed i was about a girl called rebekah in the grade above me. i never talked to her a single time in my life. she was just pretty. hundreds of posts. eventually randoms on the website found my posts through the new section and started commenting how creepy i was. and then i guess i referred to myself as a waitress and they started thinking i was a girl who had a lesbian crush. of course i did nothing to disavow that notion. and then when i was with my friend finlay in class, i was on a school provided laptop, seeing what the suggested autocomplete web searches for a, b, c, etc were. and when i looked up 'v' it came up with 'voat [my username]. i guess on this laptop sometime before i had searched it up. i begged him not to look it up and deleted it all the moment i got home but he just went on internet archive and essentially held this blackmail over my head for about 3 months. at the end of high school finlay wasnt popualr in our group (there was always someone who was the cyberbullied person of the day in our group.) and i honestly did a fucking asshole thing. i always say that i was nice and just a victim of this mean group but i did this thing, which completely undoes all that. there was a barbeque for the entire grade on a saturday, school organised but essentually our own thing. in the discord finlay was wondering whether to come, lots of us were there already. i said that there was barely anyone here lol. and that was a complete lie. i lied and made him miss this event for no reason other than to dogpile on him. that night everyone was fighting and i chimed in and he told everyone about my voat account and also about how we had accidentally discovered each other in a league of legends erotic roleplay discord server. so yeah that was fun. i refused to talk to him for like 2 years lol. anyways. the point of this is to say. that im gonna start doing that again i think. post a bunch of stream of consciousness text posts of angst and self loathing and envy and hatred. cus i feel like shit and that's my self harm. im too much of a pussy to do anything else when i feel like shit. i just sit on the computer and make myself feel worse. this can be my self therapy. getting my thoughts out instead of letting them fester inside my brain forever. i can't be fucked going to therapy properly. it doesnt help cus idk how to articulate anything properly. ill get asked whats wrong and ill be like. i dont know. and honestly thats barely a lie. i dont fucking know whats wrong with me. i know that there is something wrong with me, but i dont know the reason why ive turned out like this. im just a fucking weirdo i think. i literally thought that i wasnt a creep anymore after transitioning, that i figured it out. but nope. im still a fucking creep, thinking about girls that i know, obsessing about them. urgh. i feel like. i've fucked my transition up. i fucked up the choices that i didn't know were choices and now im someone i don't want to be. i just want to be someone else but thats not possible because the person that i am, currently, isn't someone that can be someone else. i know that you can just change who you are ! you can do new things and stop doing old things. you can be someone else. but i just cant. i try but i just always circle back to this. uninteresting blob of a person. who does nothing except sit in their room and wish they were someone else. an uninteresting blob of envy. that's all i am and will ever be, i feel. and that sucks. i dont want to be that, but there's nothing else i can do about that. im too uninteresting and unadventurous and afraid to reach out and form connections to people that i wanna. cus thats how you change as a person. by being with other people. you slowly give each other parts of yourself

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Had a dream i went to japan with my aunt and these two boys (one a cute little farm boy and another a hardcore city boy) were like fighting over me and it was like a cute ghibli romance theyd give me things to try and win my heart but i didnt end up choosing i went back home with my aunt lol

then i woke up, thank you dogs

Had a little follow up dream that i was staying with my family in this high rise apartment, and it was like a superhero universe that included like teen titans and batman and superman for some reason. a girl flew up to my apartment and she was like starfire but she wasnt starfire, maybe like au version of her my brain cooked up but she was struggling to fight and couldnt keep up, so since she knew me she flew up here and me and my mom were helping her recover. Since she couldnt fight i wanted to help but wasnt sure if i could so i just started jumping and doing it over and over until i eventually stayed in the air, and while they were busy i wriggled my way out of an open window (nobody was happy about this, there usually isnt anybody happy about me flying in my dreams for some reason)

so im down there and im flying around trying to see whats what, and the way im flying is like... im tinkerbell, like when im in the air im a little spec of ever falling gold dust but from first person pov i feel normal i dont even realize its happened. I also have an inventory but thats not too important, that was just something that happens. And it looks like this giant bug looking machine is like chomping through the city side, like ladybug type bug looking not like ant looking, and it has big metal teeth and its headed towards a big building and theres a bunch of superheros down there and im like... i need to go find superman, WHERE IS HIS ASS!!!! bro stopped a boulder why isnt his ass down here!!!!

so i get down from the air and now im in the inner city, mostly some kind of mall and im just passing through and suddenly someone fucking SHOOTS ME with a GUN and i turn around and its this bald guy (kinda looks like my uncle but i say that about every overweight bald guy) and im like?? u can SEE me?? but it registers in my mind that this is the guy controlling the big bug machine and hes just down here casually shopping in a hallmark in a mall, thats fine. i proceed to get the fuck outta dodge, getting shot once more and getting shot at another time (he missed the second time) and at this point im like fuck superman, i need batman where is he!!!! alfred can fix this shit!!

so now im looking for batman, starting over at square 1 where is wayne towers but also i have just been shot twice and i can only identify my apartment building so i go over there, and theres like a ledge on the side of the apartment where this girl is sitting with not-starfire and theyre trying to plot on how to help me from home, with a computer in her lap and a bunch of laundry sitting next to her. So i decide to do the normal thing and just start fucking around with the laundry to make her laugh. Eventually i stop acting dumb and im like listen... i need to find batman and i need to find superman, can you help me?? and theyre like yeah!! Apparently this girl has a strong online presence and she is gonna post basically a reverse geoguesser where people send in sightings of batman and or superman and she can identify and send me that location.

In the meantime, im going down into the city as a normal person because i dont feel like getting shot again and my current bullet wounds are moreso aching than hurting, and i get stuck in a line which sucks but i cant just start flying down here!!! Anyway i try making polite conversation with the guy in front of me and hes a huge DICK and he calls over this guy and hes like "HEY SHE HAS CONTRABAND!!!!!" and im like WHAT THE FUCK DUDE???

so this guard comes over and he makes me show him the contraband i have which is a locket from the previous dream that the city boy gave me, it turns out this guard is japanese and hes like "awwww who gave this to you?? A cute boy???" and im like "Yes.." and we end up having a nice conversation about it, its similar to something he gave his own wife when he was young and now the guy in front of me is an even bigger dick and tries to snitch on me for having cheese which is bullshit, all i had was bread (which admittedly i did have to hand over)

there was a little bit after that but i dont remember, i woke up lol

[carmenpeach]

tagged by @yakkyrwhackr for 5 things i could talk about 4ever ^-^

1. sonic um obviously. i think i huave autism. for my further thoughts please read the last 103836482927 posts of mine

2. nights into dreams <333 havent talked about nights much the last like 2 or 3 years, my sonic special interest got reawakened and it wont let go of me

3. amvs!!!!!!! i fucking love amvs!!!!!! big time fan of amvs since like 4th grade or so (used to mainly listen to music through sailor moon or sonic x amvs and i still do lol) ive recently gotten use of a computer again after years of not (and having only barely functioning ones for ever before then) and finally the program skills are within my grasp.... ive been collecting footage for amvs to make myself and have a list of ones i plan to make too. i make them in my brain and now i can make them out of my brain <3

4. game glitches! i love glitches in games i used to spend like hours finding glitches in games when i was a kid and teenager. started playing sonic06 recently and my god i can only imagine how much i would have latched onto that game if i had gotten the chance to play it as a kid. even if i did have a console for it i was kind of scared of silver when he was announced i thought he was evil. sorry silver i know better now

5. spark the electric jester! for the love of god everyone please play the spark trilogy it instantly got a very special place in my heart. first game is a side scroller speed platformer and awesome combat. cant beleive how many hours i put into it im usually not a fan of sidescrollers. 2nd and 3rd are 3d high speed platformers (combat too of course i love the combat in these games) theyre very sonic inspired and i would like to say spark2 and spark3 are like adventure era gameplay cleaned up with fighting. spark3 instantly became like a top 3 favorite game for me. crazy enthralling story especially once we get into spark2 but... i shall stop myself now i got excited lol

i promise i like things besides video games i just cant prove it

tagging @darkgaia @macabrity @corntort

[xamaxenta]

YOU JUST ..... DID SOMETHING TO ME... WITH MECHA PSYCH HORROR ACE AT MARINEFORD........ WARNING FOR DEATH AND GRAPHIC MECH VIOLENCE/GORE BUT what if the whitebeards brought ace his mech when they rescued him and he was in his mech when he died..........the systems shutting down the lights flashing red the reactor is overheating where akainu has blasted through the metal, its still glowing red and dripping off and warping with how high the temperature is. ace is literally cooking alive in the cockpit with this screaming 100 ton machine wired into his brain (its heavier than anything anyone should be able to move in that state, it shouldnt move at all--) but his big red flame-painted mech still somehow takes three steps forward and hugs luffys shitty slapdash pieced together mech because thats the closest he will ever get to him again, still too many inches of metal too far to hug him for real, but he HAS to because he is going to die here with this machine. its pumping boiling chemicals and gasoline from ruptured fuel lines into his veins and hes punctured by the metal and his skin is on fire but it was made by people who loved him so he could protect what HE loved and hes glad to die hooked into the sparking computer because at least he isnt alone. he never has to be alone again. im crying in the club rn bro

You understand me 🥰 im crying but with tears of joy this is scrumptious so delicious

The gore factor of literally everything going wrong his brain fizzling out, his actual physical body dying with the mech, the flames the smoke the acrid smell of chemicals and metal warping in crushing its like a hug really he cant leave even if he wanted to

Its great mecha psych horror with terrible consequences is my fave

[currentgoddess]

decembers always a bad time for me but my god is there SO MUCH going on in the world rn

yes theres an active invasion, ten concurrent genocides (FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE),

but we also have rapidly snowballing socio-cultural degeneration in the west.

teens today are so socially vile compared to ten, fifteen years ago theyve started traumatizing their teachers at staggering rates, and this is definitely a product of en masse generational trauma as well as the contemporary atmosphere of capitalism-driven social media, but also accidentally because of radical socio-cultural evolutionary growing pains as we learn not to throw the baby (general manners) out with the bathwater (opressive systems and unfair power dynamics).

recognition of disabilities and other societal disadvantages has climbed so high that the "normal" people now act like asking for any kind of equality, amendments, reparations or accessibility is some kind of unfair demand from someone with power over them instead of a plea from someone who needs help, which is a beautifully hypocritical display of the normalization of socio-cultural power dynamics.

misinformation and propaganda are so widespread and radicalized purely under the machinations of capitalism and the patriarchy that not even just regular jane and joes are spouting absolute horseshit on a daily basis, but ACTUAL PROFESSIONALS are falling victim to the lies about their OWN FIELDS OF EXPERTISE.

the size and shape of populations in modern communities is SO far removed from how humans are designed to live, that we are ALL now not only aware of, but involved with, affairs that we are not designed to compute with our meat brains , and thats BEFORE you before you take into account the crosspollination from the reach of the internet, giving us access to dozens of other countries outside our own to be concerned about, which has created this hellish extension of our natural social homeostatic mechanisms called "compassion fatigue" where our brain begs us to take breaks from HEARING ABOUT GENOCIDES IN OTHER COUNTRIES.

and dont get me started on the recent trend of people abusing mental health language to just fuck with other people. people dodging normal ass confrontations by saying they "cant mentally handle this" or cutting off friends with no explanation because theyve misunderstood the proper applications of therapeutic self-governance. going cold turkey no contact is fine if its an abuser, not your friend who mentioned they liked a new anime. radically self-elevating behaviour is meant to be for people who struggle with self esteem or abuse aftereffects so they can learn to apply it on a more frequent basis at a regular level starting from a deficiency, NOT for people who just refuse to consider another persons value when deciding how to act around them.

its MADDENING, it truly is. how i have just watched the world devolve further and further into this delirious shitstorm of lies and misdirected belief, for my whole life (born a couple years before 9/11, pointedly) but ESPECIALLY in the last like 5 years. what the fuck. what the ACTUAL fuck

this is ok to reblog and discuss on. but if you take nothing away from this, at least take FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE