#my god. read something else like???????
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romance booktok in particular is completely fucking unhinged.
#i love books i even like a good romance book now and then but the operative word there is GOOD :)#most of the books i see recommended on there are just smut and i have no problem with that i read fanfiction but like#my god. read something else like???????#'i love books' & the books in question revolve entirely around a 19yo being forcibly married to a fucking immortal fairy prince or whatever#and it's one chapter of lore dumping followed by 97 chapters of pure pornography.#can we have standards for ourselves maybe i think that's my point here i want better for us#for women for book lovers for.....idk fairy princes
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It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!
(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#Comics I meant to post a week ago but I have been...extraordinarily sleepy.#Remy is the ultimate yearner and he is about to explode...these last few updates have had the Tigers discord in a vice grip.#We all knew he was going to say something that would devestate Remy.#But this??? This near confession? “I wish you would look at me like that?”#If I was Remy...well yeah I probably would also just lay in bed. Awake. Pondering and internally exploding.#But ough...the agony...his heart had settled on loving this man from afar and now...now he wonders. If it doesn't have to be so.#The boys are fighting (internally and with themselves).#If you haven't red Tigers yet but are reading this: What else must I do to convince you? Draw more men's tits?#God! If I must [I shake my head at an empty audience] I can't believe I'm being forced to do this!
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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DTIYS for @tizeline
Congrats on 10k!!! (love your artstyle btw sooo soft and beautiful i wanna look at your art all day!)
The original outfit was perfect but I still felt like something was missing...
#my art#art#dtiys#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise leo#rise donnie#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#april o'neil#rottmnt april#wow first time drawing her#she's beautiful#i don't really like how i drew donnie here((#i think i could've done better(#i'm too tired to do anything else with this art so#tiz sep au#oh god i haven't read it yet#at least not all of it#you see#there's this thing#when i find something exciting that i wanna read/watch i instead just run around it for months thinking about it preparing to dive into it#before i actually do it#i don't know why#i did this with cass au for nearly a YEAR because i was SO excited i couldn't sit still to read#anyway#did i tell you how much i like your art?
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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pony posting
#undescribed#bonk.png#great god grove#ggg#got hit with hard nostalgia for mlp n remembered a post i saw about the bizzyboys being the main six if they did fuckall#so bizzyponies i was also gonna do inspekta bc the show has a lot of transformations n i was gonna have spek as an alicon#then realized idk if i wanna do alicorn (like the rest of the gods) or have inspekta be something else bc on one hand nightmare moon n the#eg transformations on the other hand fucking DISCORD who is also noodle n does the eye thing#so inspekta isnt here sorry also couldnt come up with a ponified name anyway so works out for now#patty was the first one i drew which i kind of regret bc i was still getting in the groove so she turned out a bit jank#goal with the renaming was to keep the shortening available to the names they have in the grove however cappuccino was entirely bc for some#reason before i read the artbook i thought capochin's name came from that#ban's was gonna be banana boast but then i looked up cinematography terminology n picked one of the b's bc cinema#drawing capo as a pony was so funny kept giggling n also belated realized that i might've wanted him to be a mule bc of cranky or whatever#from the show. guy that hated pinkie in his debut episode i forgot his name#patty being a blank flank is intentional she gets her cutiemark when she stands up for herself v-v#was gonna do something other art for this like pony king but i'll do that later maybe#no colors bc i drew this on my phone n everything is saturated as fuck on here so i cant color accurately
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I still can't believe they killed him like that
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cotton cookie#sherbet cookie#my stuff#anyway happy fourth anni crk. i dont play but sometimes i catch some wack lore from my brother who is an avid player#i went down the wiki to read their event story and are you.. for real..#you made this poor girl go through all that for a flower that couldnt even revive him all the way..#'that should be enough to say goodbye' HELP me what do you mean. and like ok i know. i know that its the intent#something something death is an intrinsic part of life. the avoidance of death is what we all seek and yet it is futile in the end#and he's reborn in the end and always able to do what he dreamed of#but god man cotton. cotton.....#anyway her camellia costume is so cute and among other things they symbolize faithfulness and nothing else fits better than SHE DID ALL THAT#and he STILL died#for real. for really real
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the way I was introduced to dc was teen titans in which nobody ever uses their secret identity ever. They never use their names, only their pseudonyms and that has stuck with me for some reason. Idek if they know what Robin looks like. Robin is Robin, Starfire is Starfire. Stop calling him dick grayson stop deadnaming him
#ive been watchingggg oh god ive been watching non stop im on s2#now#love them so much I wanted to read fanfiction#i was slapped in the face with their civilian names#stooppp thaaattt he's robin :(#i kind of have my own hcs on why the teen titan tower isn't really a safe place for ppls secret identities#don't ask idk anything about dc if anyone knows ANYTHING about anything they will get mad at me#i only know basic stuff ok? I've never read the comics or anything I only watched s1 of yj#and the one batman cartoon#but idk i adore the idea of a hero completely abandoning their original identity snd just taking#their hero name as their name and just being someone else you know#robin is robin to meeee#but i do think there should be a scene where his masks falls off in front of like. star or something and she just fucking#covers his face with her hand before she sees him#i like that#teen titans#robin
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merry xmas! im drinking rum with aleks and listening to some really old techno. i blurted everything about ouro and all the tough things surrounding, and its future, and i got so excited i yelled and yodeled into the dead and dark forest. it's been such. such a good christmas. 2025 got nothing on me. we live we die and we fucking live again. hold my hand. giggle with me. have some zacapa. i love you
#!!!!!!!#when the end of year actually feels like the exhale of a breath you've held for years? i mean. this feels almost too good to be true#not to say im not struggling. but its hard to acknowledge that when everything feels like this. like hope. like homecoming.#a force majeure of optimism but still. grounded? real? yeah. real. more real than anything has felt in years and years#i wish you a lovely holiday whether you celebrate or not#and i wish. i wish upon a thousand stars and the black matter in between that i can be present for the creativity that is a physical thing#an anchor in my body. an anvil. something i just yearn to make real and place in someone elses hands#i have no idea if im doing it the right way! if it reads as i recieve it from the frail ends of my synapses. but god damn it if i wont try#ouro got me this far (even if you had to wait for the story- the story gave me what i needed to just. change what needed to be changed befo#e I tell it to you. i truly don't know how to explain it. im just shaking your shoulders and rattling trees and telling the cosmos thank yo#!!!!! augh difficult to explain can't do it#im smiling angelically at you while man o to is playing on the speakers. and there are stars in the sky and good company beside me.#hope tonight treats you kindly#happy holidays<3
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GET OUT OF MY HEADDDDDDD
I read the Perseverance fanfic and its stuck in my head now congratulations
Idk whats going on with this man idk if hes the harbinger from the symbol and at this point im too scared to find out, but hey no ones ever gonna stop me from putting a halo over a possible cult messiah
GO READ PERSEVERANCE NOWWWWWWWWWWW NOW NOW NOW
Version without all the visual bullshit i added:
Perseverance AU and fanfic by @pastelaspirations
Turns out inspiration struck way quicker than i thought it would. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your masterpiece :)
#perseverance au#perseverance!au#ink sans#undertale au#my art#something something im not okay#I HAVE THEORIES ABOUT THIS FIC OKAY#I HAVE THEORIES#but then again my theories have been recurrently proven wrong as i was reading it hashdhaa#spoilers for those who didnt read after this tag#at first i thought that the beast in the lab would be like#kidnapped and modified nightmare but#that was wrong and kinda embarrassing#but i do like the curveballs this fic throws at me like all the time#and the fight scenes FUCK SO HARD#genuinely a joy to read#uhhh what else#gay people#gay people make me want to strangle them oh my GOD JUST KISS ALREADY#i am sane#also yes i did forget what color the feathers were but#hey#cut me some slack
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flowers, i remember fields… someone by my side…
finally saw hadestown today, absolutely incredible experience and now i will be drawing them for the next few days most likely. quick painting before i must sleep, but the west end cast was amazing just ahhhhhh
#god i could scream about this forever.#hadestown#orpheus#eurydice#hadestown west end#hadestown uk#my art#i feel the same as i did after seeing good omens 2#cause the vibes were essentially; get emotionally devastated#be stuck in a limited space soon after#(i watched good omens s2 on a plane and it was like 2am when i finished with everyone else there asleep)#(and then I just stared out the window looking at the stars and listening to music and EVERY. SINGLE. SONG i heard just made it hurt worse#i added like 50 songs to my gomens playlist that night#anyways that’s how i felt on the train ride back after the show. liminal space + music + All Of The Thoughts#and like i couldn’t draw anything RIGHT THEN ofc so i had to just make a note of it and stay high on endorphins for awhile#great feeling#10/10 would recommend#watch/read/see something that’s beautiful and devastating then listen to music super loudly while looking out a window
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women who were the only girl with F/F ships in their mostly-sapphic teen friend group, and had to feign interest in the Pretty Gay Anime Boys Of The Week to talk to their friends at all, deserve financial compensation
#fandom#why do so many queer women only like M/M ships? like I've heard the 'it's less personal so I can enjoy it more' explanation and You Do You!#but I don't think I'll ever fully understand#and my god was it tiresome in my teen years#I was the only one who cared about the female characters like 75% of the time- and we were all queer girls!#we'd all read the same book or manga and I'd be like 'so when female main character-'#only to get steamrolled with 'OMG THIS GUY AND THIS GUY ARE MY EVERYTHING!!! THEY NEED TO GET MARRIED!!!' from all sides#repeat for every. single. thing. we all watched or read together#and if I liked something that didn't have shippable men nobody else would engage with it
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hiiii lily what is this ‘orv’ i have been seeing…..
HIIII MIKE. SMILES. orv is Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint! it's a webnovel with an ongoing webtoon adaption and it is making me Fucking Crazy. basically the premise there's this really unpopular really long webnovel called Three Ways to Survive an Apocalypse, and for years, Kim Dokja has been the only reader. when the novel finally ends, the author sends him an email with the txt file of the whole novel, and then suddenly the novel is wiped from the internet and in that instant, the events of the novel begin taking place in Kim Dokja's world. the apocalypse begins and humanity is subjected to cruel scenarios and challenges livestreamed for the entertainment of these powerful entities called constellations, and as the only one who read the story to its end, Kim Dokja is the only one fully equipped with knowledge of how this story goes (or at least, how it originally went)
it is SO good. it lures you in like "ooh this is a normal reverse isekai" and then ends up being CRAZY. it deals with questions about the boundary between characters and Real People and whether that distinction really matters, and it's one of those stories that looks the audience dead in the eye and dares you to look away first. literary devices are made Real (oh fourth wall we're really in it now...) and it plays with narrative voice and pov and unreliable narration in such fun ways. it is ultimately about the value of stories and the value of being a reader and the choice to wrestle with the story that's been written for you in favor of the story you really want to tell. it's also about Kim Dokja having something Deeply Wrong With Him skdlfjlksdjf the journey i went on with him was "okay he's a reader insert who reads novels as escapism, i get it" -> "oh actually he has something wrong with him" -> "oh he has something Wrong With Him" -> "WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK. HELLO. WHAT WAS THAT." I'm obsessed with him.
I read the webtoon first which I think is a pretty effective onboarding point! some of the art had my jaw on the FLOOR it's so cool. the webtoon has adapted roughly the first third of the whole novel so far, and if you want to read the novel just dm me and I'll hit you up with the epub file lol (not just mike but anyone who is interested!)
#asks#puzzlehat#OOOOH YOU WANNA READ ORV SO BAD#i haven't finished it yet btw#according to my ebook app I'm 38% into it which is insane to think about#but YEAH it's so so so so so good so far#the story it's telling is so compelling and the pacing is like. incredibly solid. which is IMPRESSIVE for something this long#i want to gnaw on kim dokja like a dog.#other bonuses: really good supporting cast featuring a LOT of women which is a huge plus for me#soooo refreshing to see so many well written women. god. i love them so much#really interesting character arcs for the supporting cast alongside the main character(s)#im not sure who i'd label the main characters. kim dokja obviously? and the protagonist of the original novel (yoo joonghyuk)#i get the suspicion han sooyoung becomes more of a main character later but i haven't seen her in a while </3#another bonus is that in addition to like. telling a compelling story that is at times emotionally devastating#it's also REALLY funny at times#kdj SUCKS i love him so much <3 he loves being a pain in the ass#he understands blorbo aggression like no one else#kdj reading about yjh for years: this character is so important to me and has gotten me through some really tough times#kdj meeting yjh: i need to KICK HIS ASS!!!! i need to BOTHER HIM!!!!!!!!#anyway. this is a long answer but you should read orv <3 it is changing my life <3#if it helps i think orv has a special appeal for people who enjoy things like hlvrai and homestuck. do with that knowledge what you will.
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Idk where it was, but I think I saw a post about how Cassandra couldn't finish saying the word "fair" without being consumed by the rage shard. Going back and watching the moment when it starts to go wrong in the wizard synod, Cassandra says "it's not fair" immediately before the shard rips through her and she begins bleeding out.
Thinking about this with the Bad Kids' convo with Lydia Barkrock and how the pit fiend in her chest couldn't say the name of the dead fallen god he served or he could only say it in certain contexts... I wonder if Cassandra had another sibling aside from Galicaea and Sol (or maybe it is Sol?? Or Helio???) that she was a right hand to or had a contract with (now I'm thinking about rules and relationships re: figs warlock classes????), and maybe what Lydia's party invoked is what happened to Cassandra. I wonder if, when the Bad Kids find out more about the ritual, they will recognize elements of what happened at the wizard synod.
Anywayyyyys, maybe I'm just drowning in red strings lol
#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20#d20 spoilers#sounds like they gotta go talk to gorthalax#and maybe kristin needs to go read some more about sol#if my theory is correct though the god would have to be a god of fairness#which would also tie into fishflower metalplants campaign????#is sol the god of fairness?? helio can't be because he's the god of corn??#but in fy kristin asked him why good things happen to good people and he was like PEACE!!#anyway was yes or helio or sol killed in the astral plane bc i dont remember#it could also be something else but my red string board COVERED IN THREADS (that go nowhere lol)#anyway heres my insane first original post about d20 ever#ALSO Cassandra was offered to become a warlock patron by becoming an archfey???#ALSO ALSO i wonder if sandralynn would know more about ivy embra if shes also a sylvan ranger#OKAY FINE I WILL GO TO SLEEP NOW
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seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest
#“rick made carter be an elvis presley fan that's fucked up!” is a real thing I just read#do you think black people can't enjoy elvis even though he appropriated black culture for personal gain#boy you would not like what I have to tell you about eminem. or kpop. or anything else bc black culture has been#appropriated by like everyone forever. are black people not allowed to enjoy iggy or ariana or billie or [the list goes on]#I myself am not biracial but I /mostly/ like carter and sadie (specifically carter who isn't white-passing) as black representation#the part where carter feels indignant that he has to hold himself to a higher standard because the world is harsher on black boys#did genuinely resonate with me when I first read that part as a child and it still does to this day#can we talk about how rick knows nothing about black hair instead#or how hazel is from the jim crow era and seems to not have one single thought about race in the modern era#or hazel's horror over the amazons keeping slaves but “no they're not slaves they just like it that way 🥰”#my problems with hazel are not at all about stereotypes I just don't buy her as an authentic portrayal of a black girl from the 1930s#don't get me started on beckendorf. does every black character need to die a violent horrible death rick#anyways this isn't intended to make anyone feel bad but we need more meaningful nuance in critiques beyond “hey that's a stereotype! bad!”#if you can't discern and communicate WHY it's bad then you're not saying anything of substance#is it a caricature? is it uninformed/underresearched? are all the characters from that group being represented in that way?#is the stereotype itself a degradation of that group? is it being played for laughs? is the character a one-dimensional stereotype?#what can we glean about the biases of the author/narrative and their worldview through their portrayal of certain groups in the text?#a big part of literary analysis and critique is not only pointing out The Thing. you need to also say something about The Thing#like if you have a black character say they like hiphop then sure it's a “stereotype”. but lots of black people do like hiphop#it's an important part of black american culture and portraying that in media isn't racist by default#and in fact lots of poc keep parts of themselves quiet for fear of being perceived as a “stereotype” when we shouldn't have to do that#BUT if you're doing it like jonah wizard was written in the 39 clues then that's where we've got a problem bc wtf was that rick#that was so racist oh my god I was like 11 years old reading that 😭 and then he had the white mc poke fun at him for being a gangster#and him being a “gangsta” was always played for laughs throughout the story#not being pro-rick here as I'm a big fan of critical riordan reading just being pro-thoughtful critiques because some of you guys actually#sound a wee bit ignorant when saying things like what was mentioned in the first tag#baye.txt#pjo hoo toa#rr crit#<- tagging that just for. well the tags basically
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You’d think that, between Gideon and Kremy, Gideon would be the easier one to get a read on (in terms of feelings towards certain situations and party members), but no. I can read Kremy like a motherfucking book. The way he spins lies and half-truths like a spiderweb; the way his tone will shift subtly depending on who he’s talking to, what they’re talking about, his feelings on the situation/subject/towards the person, etc; all of it. Kremy is so fucking easy to read for someone who’s supposed to be a silver-tongued conman.
But Gideon? His tone doesn’t shift all that much. He generally has a happy, confused, or entertained tone in his voice, with the exception of when he’s angry, frustrated, or upset.
Idk, maybe it’s harder for me to read Gideon because I listen to the podcast (it’s just easier for me since I can listen while driving or working), so I have to rely on tone shifts and other verbal cues. That, or maybe it’s because all of my past blorbos have been emotionally constipated men, who would only express their actual feelings about a situation based on tonal shifts, body language, and reading into what they’re saying.
#I swear all my irl points were dumped into insight and absolutely nothing else#and with emotionally constipated men I roll with advantage#no but seriously it’s so hard for me to get a read on how Gideon feels about Coalecroux situations#like the wedding or the scene during the opera#I’m not counting the love curse because fae magic and all that#I can tell when he understands that Kremy is upset or uncomfortable about something#but I can’t tell how he generally feels about him aside from being his best friend#maybe its more obvious with visuals???#I mean I will rewatch the series eventually on YouTube once I’m all caught up#but rn I have to rely on verbal cues and by god that’s hard for this genasi#also I’m not hating on either Richie or Mace here#I love being able to read my favorite emotionally constipated alligator#and the lack of tonal shift in Gideon makes sense for his character#it’s just weird to me idk#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#also if this is worded weirdly blame it on the fact that it’s currently 2am
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