#my girlfriend stayed over last night and i slept like 5 hours

[learn-and-accept]

I'm back in the place I grew up for the first time since moving 6 months ago and it is so fucking weird and I have a lot of feelings

[boolger]

I’m dangerous ☆ chapter 3 ☆ COD fanfic

Originally posted on my AO3, where I post all my stuff. Always read the tags of my fanfics. MDNI

[Chapter 1] ☆[chapter 2] ☆ [chapter 3] ☆ [chapter 4] ☆ [chapter 5] ☆[chapter 6] ☆[chapter 7]

☆ fem!reader x Kate Laswell ☆ explicit. MDNI. ☆ 3/10 ☆ 2,204 words

☆ Summary: You were a hacker and had been a thorn in the side of the 141 gang for a while, in particular as you tried to find out who the famous leader, Watcher, was. But they refuse to be blackmailed and won’t pay you.

So, to prove that you weren’t just bluffing, but were a serious threat to them, you kidnapped a random woman that you saw coming out from one of their meetings, figuring she was a secretary or girlfriend or something.

Oh, how wrong you were.

☆ Tags: au mob, gang, kidnapping, blackmailing, dub-con, angst, smut, death, grief/mourning, hacking, non-con drug use, bondage, spanking, kissing, rough sex, inaccurate portrayal of mob, more will be added.

That night you laid in your bed, looking up at the ceiling. Why exactly had you told her about Alice? She could use it against you if they ever caught you again… then again, did it matter? They couldn’t hurt Alice anyway. Only you. Ever since Alice died, life had kind of sucked ass anyways. Hadn’t Alice told you to figure out something that would make you happy, before you died, you might just have stayed locked up in the house the rest of your life.

Her hand had been cold those last hours before she died, even as you held it without a break. When she had stopped talking, so had you and you had just sat in silence, watching each other for those last hours. Both of you knew this would be the last time you would see each other.

You barely wanted to blink, afraid to lose a moment with her that you could never get back.

It almost seemed like she went to sleep. Her pulse got slower, her eyes closed. When you whispered “I love you,” she used her last energy to smile.

You closed your own eyes and let childhood memories pull you into sleep after a while.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

You woke up the next morning and after a short shower, you put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, too tired to care about your looks - earning a raised eyebrow from Kate when she saw you. You raised your own eyebrow, almost as if to dare her to say something.

After letting Kate free to go to the bathroom, you changed your piercings, before chaining her up again.

“It’s highly unnecessary, you know,” She pointed out as you put the key in your pocket, “I won’t run away.”

“Don’t trust you on that,” you answered grumpily. You hadn’t slept that well, too worried about the whole situation and the memories of Alice keeping you awake.

Kate huffed, “I’m not driving that piece of shit you call a car. And I’m not feeling like walking.”

You wanted to point out that she could just call a cab. Then again, you had her bag.

“Oh, wow, sucks then,” you muttered as you turned your electric kettle on, waiting for your water to boil so you could get some tea, “You��re stuck with me then.”

“So, listen Fae, if you –”

“Fae?” you looked over at her, confused.

“Yes. Fae,” she had the nerve to look a little annoyed with you asking about it, “I’m calling you that since I don't know your name.”

You huffed. “Don’t call me that.”

“Would you rather I called you hound?”

“... No.” you admitted, “ Just. Don’t call me anything. My name doesn’t matter.”

“Well, I think –”

“Drop it or you're not getting coffee.” You threatened and that finally shut her up.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Eating breakfast was a silent affair for a while, the toasted pieces of bread making the most noise whenever one of you took a bite.

So, you zoned out, wondering what you should do whenever you dropped her off. Should you lay low for a while? You couldn’t do that at home though and what if they followed you? A small sound distracted you and you looked outside - but nothing was there. The paranoia was creeping up on you, you figured. This entire thing was getting worse and worse. Maybe you should move the two of you - but you weren’t really sure of where to go and –

“So, what are you going to do?” Kate asked before taking a sip of her coffee, blue eyes watching you. She really wanted to know everything didn’t she? Maybe because she was a virgo. Not that you really believed in astrology, but Alice had loved it. Constantly told you about how people's behaviour was due to those stars. You didn’t feel like any stars had an effect on you - unless the stars took time out of their book to make you mourn your sister and spiral when you needed money, to the point of kidnapping a mob member.

“I’m not telling you,” You answered, a frown on your face, “I’m not that stupid.”

“Never implied that you were stupid,” Kate answered with a gentle smile, “I was just curious.”

“Well, I’m not telling you.”

“Fair enough,” she answered, “I mean, I guess I know that you’re going to pay off the medical bills after your sister.”

You hand tightened around your cup of tea, as she mentioned your sister again. The only relief was that you hadn’t told her Alice’s name. Anger of her being mentioned still crawled along your ribs, threatening to fill your lungs and spill over in screams.

“I told you not to fuckin’ ask about her, you muppet,” you snapped, “My god, why do you have to–”

The arm appeared out of nowhere, curling around your neck and pulling you backwards and off your chair, as a scared scream left you. Your airways was almost cut off, making you claw desperately at the strong arm keeping you up, a whimper leaving you – while Kate looked at you emotionless.

You watched her turn around on her chair and look towards the front door, where John fucking Price walked in, some of his minions following him, only adding to the fuel of your panic. You managed to look up and holy fuck, the face that looked down at you were covered by a fucking skull mask. You had seen him before, of course. There were so many pictures of him following different people along, like a scary shadow, like a grim reaper, ready to kill on command. Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, if you weren’t wrong. Fitting nickname.

One your hands left his thick arm as you twisted in his grip, blindly searching for the butter knife. You just managed to get your fingers around the handle when it was pulled from your hand again - by one grinning Scot, John ‘Soap’ MacTavish.

“Nu-uh, lass, that's nae a good idea,” he said, throwing the knife onto the kitchen counter again.

More people entered your house, all of them taking one look at you, then looking back at Kate.

“Took you long enough,” Kate commented, not exactly sounding as sweet as before.

“Sorry, bosslady,” Price grunted, “Wasn’t really plannin’ on playing find and rescue, was I?”

You felt black spots begin to appear in your sight, as the air you could get into your lungs were restricted - you tried stomping on Ghost’s foot, but you weren’t wearing any shoes - and he was wearing military looking boots, so all it earned you was an annoyed huff.

Kate was given back her phone by Price.

“Wan’t me to kill her, Laswell?” Ghost asked calmly, as if he was asking what kind of tea she wanted and you let out a whimper.

“Nononono, please don-” the grip tightened around your neck, cutting off your air completely.

Kate looked over at you, almost looking like she considered it for a moment. She looked… different from how she had earlier, her face somehow colder than before.

More… Dangerous.

Was this it? Would you die like this, in the hands - or well, technically arm - of an actual monster who you knew had killed several? Would he choke you to death - or just take pity on you and break your neck?

“No,” Kate finally just said all calmly, “Choke her out though, we need information from her.”

“Sure thing, ma’am.

“You don’t seem hurt,” Price commented to Kate, as you saw people spread through your house, beginning to go through your things.

“Fae isn’t a good kidnapper,” she just answered with a shrug and Price laughed. If you weren't going to die from asphyxiation, you might just die from pure embarrassment.

You felt the spots in front of your eyes multiplying as you desperately clawed at Ghost’s arm.

“Calm down, lil’ bird,” he whispered darkly, “just let it happen, yea?”

Your feet felt heavy.

“Nae anythin’ lil’ bout that fat arse,” Soap mused next to you, “proper beauty.”

Hadn’t you been busy passing out from choking, you might have tried to hit him for that comment, mobster or not, but you felt weaker and weaker.

Your head felt heavy now. So did your arms. Even though she had told him not to kill you, you felt like you were going to die. Especially as you watched one of the men pulling down a picture of you and Alice, looking at it. You wanted to hit him too.

Wait… had Price called Kate for bosslady?

You passed out before you could think about it anymore.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The first thing you registered was pain. Inside and around your neck, pain pulsed through it with every breath you took.

Probably came from being choked out, you figured.

Your forehead was resting on wood, your body bent forward. You were sitting on a chair and as you tiredly blinked, you realised you were cuffed behind your back too. The floor beneath your bare feet was cold, sending shivers of it up your soft legs.

What the fuck happened?

There was a strong smell of cigars, the scent making you groan a little. You managed to sit up, blinking shortly…

And staring directly at one certain John Price who sat opposite the table you had just been resting against, leant back a little and smoked said cigar. A pleased, almost amused smile on his face.

You blinked - then you noticed a shadow behind him in an otherwise dark room. Ghost stared right back at you.

This was all just splendid.

“How are you feeling, love?” John Price asked and you looked back at him, but it was as if you were unable to even open your mouth. Instead, you looked down at the table, watching the dried up bloodstains that had been attempted to be cleaned off.

Were they going to kill you? Kate had mentioned getting information from you -… Kate Laswell. Apparently the dangerous Watcher. She hadn’t seemed scary in the maybe less than 24 hours that you had held her captive. But still.

Then John Price said out your full name.

You froze. He knew your full fucking name. It shouldn’t surprise you, they broke into your house but still. You had tried to stay anonymous from them for so long. Then you looked up at him once more and he was smiling again, still seeming amused.

“Do you prefer Faes and Hounds?” Ghost asked from the darkness, making Price laugh, smoke leaving his mouth.

“You got us well there, sweetheart,” Price mused, taking another drag of his cigar, carefully watching you, “we really thought you were a proper group. Not just some lonely loser who knows how to hack and hide their IP address.”

“Fuck you.” The moment the two words left your mouth, you regretted them. They weren’t really something you should tell a mob member, were they? Though, John Price just chuckled.

“Oh, so she does talk, hm?”

Once again, you refused to answer.

“You know, Laswell called you Fae. Rests easier on your tongue, doesn’t it?”

You should have called your fake hacker group something cooler.

Your throat fucking hurt, your back was sore and you wanted to sleep. Not whatever the fuck they wanted to.

“Listen,” you said, voice a little raspy, “I don’t have any information, I didn’t hurt you or her, I -“

“Oh?” The sarcasm in his voice was clear as he cut you off, “don’t have any information? Then, it wasn’t you who was a thorn in our side for the last coupl’a weeks? Threatenin’ us constantly? Demanding 60 thousand pounds. That’s a lot of money, lass.”

You just stared at him silently. Your bare toes curled beneath the table, the urge to cry or hide was growing.

“Why don’t you tell me how you found your way into our electronics, hm?” He coached, “those aren’t just something you accidentally get access too.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lied on reflex.

“Hm, sure, apologies. How did you and that little group of yours get access?”

“Real’ odd how your supposed little hacker group has stopped replying after we took you, innit?” Price asked, then pulling a fucking knife from his belt. You stared at the knife, watched how he used it to clean out dirt from beneath his fingers. It was a fucking massive thing, clean as a mirror, but he moved it with such ease and experience that you knew he could make it hurt if he decided to attack you.

“Could be a coincidence, isn’t that right, Fae?” Ghost sarcastically asked. This time you didn’t even bother to look at him.

“So, what was your plan? Take the money and run away?” Price asked, now looking at you again. You just nodded.

“Huh. I was pretty sure Laswell mentioned something ‘bout some medical bills.”

You felt numb. You shouldn’t have told her about it. This was proof it was a bad idea. What a shitty kidnapper you were.

“It doesn’t matter,” you whispered, your voice a little raspy.

Price took a deep drag of the cigar. Held in the smoke for just a second before blowing it out again, watching you intensely. “So you say. Still, you decided that bothering a gang and kidnapping a member was worth it.”

“Seems a bit much for something that doesn’t matter.” Ghost added in.

“I didn’t know Kate was the leader.” You just admitted. Might as well be honest about that part, hoping that Price would confirm that Kate indeed was this Watcher.

Price watched you with a neutral face for a moment before breaking into a grin.

“Here I thought you weren’t a smart bird - but you still managed to find out that she was, hm?”

You couldn’t help your own small smile, that probably was more of a movement at the edges of your mouth.

“Well, you just confirmed it.”

There was silence in the room for a moment.

Then Ghost laughed.

“She got you there, old man.”

“Shut it,” Price grumbled, not looking too proud, “I see why she likes you though.”

You did your best to keep your face neutral. This was a messy, shitty situation and you didn’t feel in control at all. It was truly easier when you were behind a screen. Then you could control everything, hack your way into the things you couldn’t. You could just close the fucking laptop.

The knife was slammed down into the table, sinking smoothly into the wood.

“I still want to kill you,” Price casually said, while calmly watching his cigar now, before looking over at you, “promised to be nice though. Figured she maybe wants to do it yourself. She doesn’t kill a lot of people herself anymore, you know.”

You felt like you were going to throw up.

“I’m being a bad host though, hm?” He casually continued as if he hadn’t just more or less confirmed that you were going to die, “are you thirsty? Might be good for that neck of yours, being choked is never fun.”

You hesitated for a moment before nodding.

Ghost moved then, making you freeze, yet he merely put a bottle of water in front of you, before moving behind you and a moment later your hands were free.

Said hands were shaking as they took the water bottle but you pretended they weren’t, instead drinking some of the oddly cold water. Price just smiled.

“You know,” he then continued, “maybe losing a finger or two would jog your memory about how you got access to our devices.”

You almost felt like throwing up the water that you had drunk. It had an odd aftertaste anyways. You wanted to throw up a lot.

“Please don’t,” you whispered, past caring about how it made you seem weak to beg.

“No? It would make it harder for you to bother us again though.”

“I - listen I don’t know anything -“

“Bullshit,” Ghost said and then his gloved hand was on the back of your neck, in a grip that made you whimper, “nobody is going to help or save you, Fae. So I suggest telling the fucking truth.”

You knew that he was right. After Alice’s death, you had mostly been alone. The sad truth was that it would be quite a while before someone realised you had gone missing - it wouldn’t matter whether it was because a mob had kidnapped you or if you were just dead on the kitchen floor from a random stroke or from choking on a grape.

With a strong yank, Price pulled the knife from the wooden table again.

Then it was pointed towards you. You were stuck in between two different kinds of monsters, like some odd nightmare.

“So, did you send all the information to anyone?” Price’s voice had gone lower, eyes colder as he stared at you, the knife still pointed towards you.

“No, sir,” you whispered, “swear I didn’t.”

“No? Why should I believe you though?” He asked, “Kate might find you interesting due to your little kidnapping success with her - but be warned, Fae-“ he leant forward a little, “I won’t fucking hesitate to hurt you.”

You couldn’t answer, your tongue feeling numb. So you just nodded, feeling woozy from that mere movement.

“The drugs are setting in,” Price then declared as if he said it was going to rain.

Drugs? Your eyes flickered to the almost empty water bottle. Fuck. How stupid could you fucking be?

You felt yourself droop forwards a bit, a small sound leaving you. Ghost grabbed your arms, pulling you to your feet - and you barely got up before he almost squatted in front of you, hoisted you over his shoulder and rose up again.

The added height and feeling of his strong shoulder digging into your stomach made you whimper.

“C’mon then, let’s drop her off before we go talk to the others,” Price said, opening the door, but you felt your sight getting more and more blurry.

A part of you wanted to throw up over Ghost’s back and ass, just to be a nuisance, but you passed out before you managed to.

[luckyroll3]

Crimson Lights: Chapter 27

Masterlist

A week trickled by with the weight of unsaid things heavy in the air. My last two appointments at the clinic cancelled, allowing me to close the office earlier than usual. I planned to meet up with Chris later that night, but decide to head straight to his place.

I walk off the elevator into his penthouse and am greeted with silence. I drop my bag on the couch. There are no signs of life in the living room or the kitchen.

I see that the door to his office is ajar, a sliver of light escaping. I approach and pull the door open slowly, not wanting to disturb him. But the scene before me shatters me.

There she is—Aja—straddling Chris as he sits in his office chair, her lips pressed hungrily against his, hands tangled in his hair. My breath hitches, time slowing to a painful crawl. I stand there, rooted to the spot, the sharp sting of betrayal slicing through me.

Without a word, I spin on my heel and flee quietly, grabbing my bag off the couch as I head back to the elevator, back to the safety of my own apartment. I curl up on the couch, a mixture of emotions swirling through me. I wrap the blanket around myself as I try to think about what to do.

A few hours later, my phone buzzes. Chris' name illuminates the screen. My thumb hovers over the decline button, but instead, I answer, my voice a hollow shell. “Hi.”

"Where are you? I thought you were coming over," he says, confusion edging into his tone. “Did you have to stay late at the clinic? I can swing by and bring you dinner?”

"I did come over," I reply bitterly. "And I didn't like what I saw…you being straddled and kissed by your ex-girlfriend."

"Kay, wait—" The click of the line goes dead as I end the call, cutting him off.

His number flashes again, but this time, I let it ring. The screen lights up once more, a message this time.

Chris:

I'm coming down.

My thoughts are a whirlwind of confusion and hurt. As I sit up on the couch, I glance at the message again, knowing that whatever explanation Chris has, it could never erase the image seared into my memory—the woman he'd never mentioned, their bodies pressed together, and the trust between us fractured.

About 5 minutes later, I hear keys in the lock of my front door. Chris walks in and moves towards me in the living room. When I don’t look up at him, he sits next to me on the couch and takes my hand.

"Kay, listen to me," he implores, squeezing my hand. "What you saw—it's not what it looked like."

"Isn't it?" My voice cracks, a jagged edge slicing through the thick air between us. "Because from where I stood, it was pretty damn clear." I pull my hand from his.

"Damn it, Kay!" He rakes a hand through his hair, frustration radiating off him. "Aja means nothing to me. She kissed me, yes, but I pushed her away. I told her to leave."

"Then why hide it?" I counter, my heart pounding in my chest. "I’ve been waiting for days for you to tell me that she was back and you’ve said nothing. Why not mention her at all if she's so insignificant?"

"Because I knew how it would look," he admits, his gaze piercing. "I didn't want to worry you over nothing."

"Nothing?" I scoff, incredulity lacing my words. "Chris, Aja was the one who broke your heart. You've painted her as this... this specter haunting your past. The one who got away. How could her coming back be nothing?"

"Because she's not you, Kay," he says, desperation seeping into his tone. "She's not the one I want."

"Could've fooled me." The sharpness of my own voice startles me.

His expression hardens, and there is a cruel twist to his mouth when he speaks next. "You’re being a hypocrite. What about you and Changbin? Should I ignore the way you two are together? How you slept with him the second you had the opportunity to? Or is that different?"

"You can’t be serious. I’ve always been honest with you about my potential feelings for Changbin and you told me I could explore it; you encouraged me to," I shoot back, my pulse quickening. "I never kept anything with him a secret, unlike you and Aja. You’ve been meeting and texting with her, and you didn’t say a word. How am I supposed to take that?"

"Kay, I'm sorry," he murmurs, he shifts closer to me on the couch and places his hand on mine again, as if to bridge the gap his secrets had created. "I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm just—"

"Angry?" I cut him off, pushing his hand off me, feeling the walls close in. "You don't get to be angry, Chris. Not when I’m the one walking in on you being intimate with another woman. Not when you're the one keeping secrets, lying by omission."

"Please..." The word hangs between us.

"Get out," I say, my voice steady and low. "I can't do this right now. I can't look at you without seeing her on top of you, without wondering what else you haven't told me."

"Kay, please—"

"Chris, get the fuck out," I say a little too calmly.

He hesitates for a moment longer, his eyes searching mine for something, anything that might hint at forgiveness. But I have nothing to offer other than anger at him for trying to turn this back on me. I watch him retreat, the door closing behind him.

The silence in my apartment is suffocating, thick with the echoes of Chris's excuses and my own simmering rage. I need a reprieve from my thoughts. My fingers tremble as I pick up my phone and tap out a message to Changbin.

Kay:

Are you home?

Changbin:

Yeah, what’s up?

Kay:

Need to talk. I’m coming over.

I don't bother changing, the need to not be alone propelling me out the door and into the elevator. As the doors open into his penthouse, the familiar scents of his place greets me.

"Hey," I whisper, stepping into the sanctuary of Changbin's home.

“Hey,” he says as I sit next to him on the couch. “What’s going on?”

The words spill out of me then, a torrent of hurt and confusion about Aja, about Chris, about the gaping chasm of mistrust that had opened up beneath me.

Changbin listens, his dark eyes never leaving my face. When I finish, he exhales slowly, and there is a weariness to his voice that tugs at something deep within me. "He’s definitely an asshole for keeping this from you. But I know deep down, you don’t really think he cheated on you, right?”

I nod.

“Okay. So that means, in the grand scheme of relationship faux pas, this is nothing. He didn’t tell you his ex was in town. So what? You’re taking this hard because of what your ex did. He lied and cheated. Don’t put that off on Chan. He wouldn’t do that to you. Just go talk to him and smooth it over.”

“Okay,” I say softly. “You’re right. It’s my own fucking fears that I’m reacting to.”

“Kay, you know I've got you, right?” He looks me in the eyes as I nod. “But I can't keep doing this dance with you and Chan. It’s tearing me apart."

"Changbin, I'm sorry. I never meant to—" My apology hangs incomplete as I stand. “I’ll go. Thank you for being there for me,” I say as I start to move back towards the elevator, guilt heavy on my shoulders. Changbin told me that he loved me and I never responded, instead running right back to Chris. I shouldn’t be asking for his advice when it comes to Chris anymore.

"Kay, wait." His hand snakes out, catching mine as I walk past him, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt up my arm. He pulls me back gently and I find myself mere inches from him as he stands up to come face to face with me.

"I’ve missed you," he murmurs, his voice rough with a vulnerability that mirrors my own. I can see the struggle in him, the battle between desire and honor, and it mirrors the chaos inside me.

"Changbin, we shouldn’t—" But the protest dies on my lips as he leans in, his mouth capturing mine in a kiss that is equal parts desperation and tenderness.

My heart hammers against my ribcage as if pleading for release, my mind screams caution, but my body betrays them both, melting into Changbin's embrace. His hands are gentle yet insistent, tracing the path of longing and ache that winds through me.

"Changbin, I..." But words are pointless now.

We stumble back to his bedroom where he tears off my clothes and his own. He lays me on the bed and quickly enters me before either of us can think through what we’re doing.

He watches me intently as he thrusts slowly into me. Then he leans down to kiss me just as slow. I cling to him, my desire for him overpowering any rational thoughts. The heat between us is intense and all-consuming and I can feel myself losing control, surrendering to the feelings that have been simmering between us. With each thrust, we become more lost in each other, my moans blending with his as we lose ourselves in the intensity of our connection, eventually cumming together. We lay together, breathless, in silence, until Changbin moves to rest his head on my chest and intertwines his fingers in mine. We both drift off to sleep.

Sunlight pierces the room, drawing thin lines of light across Changbin's sleeping face. I slip from the sheets, a knot tightening in my stomach as the events of last night play on loop in my head. My phone buzzes and Chris’ name pops up.

Chris:

Kay, please, we need to talk.

Can you let me explain?

I'm sorry.

Guilt claws at me, muddying the waters of my thoughts. I need to clear the air with Chris. I dress silently, stealing glances at Changbin, his chest rising and falling in peaceful ignorance of the storm inside me.

As I pull up my pants, I hear him say behind me. “Are you leaving?”

I turn and walk to the bed, sitting down next to him. “Yeah” I say. “I need to talk to Chris.”

I lean down and kiss him softly, feeling his tongue slide into my mouth, teasing me. 

“Binnie,” I whisper. “We can’t let this happen again.”

“I know,” he whispers back before he places one last kiss on my lips.

I leave Changbin in bed and make my way to Chris’ penthouse, my palms damp and my mind a battlefield of emotion.

"Kay," Chris greets me as the elevator doors open. He’s on the couch. His eyes are clouded with concern, his posture tense as if bracing for impact.

"Chris," I start, voice steadier than I felt. "I got your messages."

"Come," he pats the spot on the couch next to him. I join him. "Look," he begins, running a hand through his hair. "I should've told you about Aja. I didn't... I wasn't sure how to handle the feelings that came back when I saw her."

"Feelings?" My voice cracks, betraying the hurt lurking beneath.

"Old feelings," he assures me, his gaze earnest. "Nothing more. When she kissed me, part of me wanted to give in, but I stopped it. I swear. I probably should have stopped it after she climbed on top of me, but I wasn’t in the right headspace. You're the one I want, Kay. The only one."

I stay silent.

"Kay," he starts again softly, his eyes burning with sincerity, "she has no power over me anymore. She might have hooked me once, but not anymore. I no longer love her. You're my whole world now." He pressed his warm lips against my forehead before trailing kisses down the center of my face, between my eyes to the tip of my nose, until his lips meet mine.

I nod, the weight of my own secrets pulling me down. "I know you're telling the truth. I believe you. And you were right—I am a hypocrite."

"What do you mean?" He frowns, searching my face.

"Last night," I swallow hard. "After our fight, I went to Changbin."

His jaw tightens, the hurt unmistakable even as he tries to mask it. "Did you sleep with him? Is that where you just came from?"

"Yes." The word is a whisper, yet it echoes like a gunshot between us.

"Is that what you want? Him?" His voice was hoarse, the question laced with fear and something akin to desperation.

Looking into his eyes, I see the reflection of my own turmoil. "I don't know what I want. You were right; I have feelings for Binnie. But I do know I want a future with you, Chris. I fucking love you.” I sigh deeply. “Everything right now just feels messy and complicated…"

"Kay..." Chris reaches out, his touch tentative but warm, seeking reassurance in the connection. He brings his forehead to mine. “I hear you.”

"Let's just... take it one step at a time," I suggest, my heart aching for both men who hold pieces of it.

"Okay," he agrees, "One step at a time."

[crazyunsexycool]

The love we gave away

Chapter 5

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut!, oral (f receiving), sad reader, bit of asshole Ransom

A/N: so here is the next chapter. I’m sorry I guess 😬

Series Masterlist

Song that Faith and reader sing along to

The sun was out providing warmth and another bright day. A light breeze kept you cool enough as you sat on the balcony on the last floor of the hotel you were staying at. It was the perfect place to relax, take in the view and enjoy the free time and inspiration as you sketched new designs. You were waiting for Faith to show up for brunch in your room but you also knew she was a bit on the drunk side when you last saw her.

It was another half hour before Faith finally showed up followed by hotel staff carting food. You had them set everything up out on the balcony and tipped them as they left. Faith groaned as she walked out to the balcony with her huge sunglasses and loungewear on. She plopped herself on one of the chairs and grabbed a strawberry.

“Did you have a good night last night?” You tease.

“Did you?”

“I did, I slept great.”

“With Ransom as your body pillow of course.” Faith smiles.

“Nope. All by myself.”

“Say just kidding right now.” Faith takes off her sunglasses so that you’ll look her in the eyes. “But you were all over each other yesterday. And don’t think I forgot about you telling me everything about your meetup in New York.” She says as she pours herself a cup of coffee.

“Yeah well, we actually met up for the first time a few weeks ago.”

“You’re playing with me.”

“Nope.”

“How did it happen? Why did you guys meet up?” She leans forward and places all of her attention on you once she sees your brilliant smile.

You grabbed your phone and searched for something before turning it toward Faith. She studied the photo for a moment before it clicked. Faith screamed as she grabbed your phone and stared at the picture of the twins you had pulled up.

“How? I mean look at them. They’re beautiful. When did this happen? You have to tell me everything.”

So you did. Over brunch you explained everything that had happened from the moment the twins showed up in your life until now.

“Wow. I mean that’s amazing. So when can I meet my niece and nephew?”

“We can get together when you get back from your honeymoon.”

“Perfect. What about you and Ransom?”

“What about us?” You ask as you pop a grape into your mouth.

“Don’t play dumb it doesn’t suit you. It’s obvious you guys still have feelings for each other. Just the way you looked at each other.” She sighs.

“Nothings going to happen. I mean he has a girlfriend.”

Faith perks up at your statement and then she grins. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“They broke up. Why do you think he’s here alone?”

“I don’t know, I thought she’d fly in today or tomorrow.”

“This is perfect. You’ll be back together before the wedding is over. I can feel it.” Faith does a little happy dance in her seat.

“Well I’m not getting my hopes up. Now let’s go try on your dress.”

You both get up and head to the separate room the dress was being held in. Faith gets into the dress with a little bit of your help and you make notes to add a few finishing touches.

The day went by quicker than you would have liked. The rehearsal dinner was fantastic and now everyone was meeting in the lobby to catch a party bus to go out to a club or two. It wasn’t really your thing but considering you were with people you knew and Faith badgering you to go you got dressed.

In the lobby you were one of the last people down. You wore a gold sequin bodycon mini dress, matching gold stilettos, your hair was down and your makeup was simple with bold lipstick. As your heels clicked against the tiled floor you saw Ransom turn his head in your direction. His jaw went slack as he took you in. He took his time looking at the way the dress hugged your curves. When he finally made eye contact with you his eyes were dark and full of want.

Ransom was dressed in dark brown almost black dress pants and a short sleeve button up with an orange, black, cream and white design on it. He looked good and pulled off the look effortlessly.

“You look stunning.” He says as you get closer to him.

“Well you look quite handsome yourself.”

Heels click behind you as Faith and Scott appear. She was dressed in white and he was dressed in black. Everyone cheers for them as they lead the group outside. Ransom immediately sticks to your side. His hand on your lower back as he guides you to the party bus which could probably be seen from space with all the lights it had on.

Music is already blasting as you get in. Faith and a few of the bridesmaids are already dancing. You on the other hand decide to sit and Ransom follows your lead. His arm drapes behind you.

“Let’s take a picture.” You whisper in his ear and he nods. “I haven’t told the twins that we ran into each other.”

You pull your phone from the clutch you brought with you and Ransom leans in and waits for you to snap a few. Butterflies erupt in your belly as you look at them. You remember what Faith said to you about him being single now. When you look up she’s giving you a wicked grin and a thumbs up. With a quick message you send the kids a picture.

Abigail: You went together? 😱😱

Theodore: make good choices.

You explain to them that you didn’t know he would be there and that you would in fact be making good choices.

****

For the next three hours you go through the same routine. The bus comes to a stop at a club and everyone gets out, excited for the party to continue inside. The group skips the line and are escorted straight to the VIP section. It doesn’t take long for everyone to have drinks in their hands, yourself included. Soon after, Faith and the bridesmaids leave for the dance floor, dragging you along with them.

It doesn’t escape your notice how Ransom hangs out by the area that gives the best view to the dance floor. His eyes rarely leave you as you move around and sway your hips.

Eventually a slower song comes on at the club you’re currently in. It happens to be a song that you and Faith love.

🎶“You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes.

You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry.

You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night.”🎶

You sing to each other at the top of your lungs as you sway. Faith looks over your shoulder and smiles before Scott steals her away. But before you can go, hands find their way to your hips. You’re ready to elbow whoever is grabbing you.

“It’s just me, Thimble.” Ransom’s breath tickles your ear as he pulls you into his chest.

Since he doesn’t make a move to leave you begin to dance. And if you decide to grind against him and he doesn’t complain, so what? You’re both single and you know there’s still something between you. For the first time in your life you’re going to take a chance on something. No more carefully calculated plans, just a carefree night and whatever happens, happens.

🎶“The distance and the time between us

It’ll never change my mind ’cause

Baby, I would die for you

Baby, I would die for you, yeah.” 🎶

Ransom sings just for you to hear as he moves with you. You turn your head so that you can look at him and he gives you a nod towards the exit. It’s more than a silent request to leave early but you still nod your head. Ransom smiles, like he did when he was younger. With no ulterior motive other than he’s genuinely happy, you can tell by the way his eyes crinkle. You grab his hand and let him lead you out. Through the crowd you see Faith and smile before sending a wink in her direction. Last thing you see is her jumping up and down in celebration.

The ride back to the hotel is quick and the elevator ride up to your hotel suite is even faster. But it didn’t feel like it at times. None of it mattered though once the door to your suite closed and Ransom pressed you up against it. It had been the first time in a long time that you’ve kissed someone and even longer since you’ve kissed him.

A small moan escapes you as you feel Ransom’s hands everywhere. He’s possessive with his kiss, his tongue dominating yours. It’s obvious you both have more experience now. Ransom moves from your lips to your neck. He finds that spot that makes you weak while he moves a knee between your thighs. The pressure he applies is enough to get you hot and bothered.

“Ransom, please.” You say as your hands find their way to his hair and you tug.

He lifts you and carries you over to the bed without his lips leaving your skin. That all familiar ache that settled between your legs grows. Ransom lays you down softly on the bed. He gives you a quick kiss before standing back up and getting undressed until he’s only in his black boxer briefs.

“Do you want this?” He asks as he moves to hover over you.

“Yes.”

“Good because I don’t think I’d be able to leave now.” He says before he continues to kiss your chest, pulling down the top of your dress and immediately taking a nipple into his mouth.

His hand palms and kneads your other breast before alternating his attention. You whimper and writhe beneath him as your hands explore the expanse of his much more muscular frame. The experience was new but familiar. Both of you had matured and learned new things. Yet it felt like everything was the same. You’re brought back to the moment when you feel Ransom’s hands on your hips as he pushes up the skirt of your dress up. He groans as he observes you.

“Dirty girl,” he says when he realizes you weren’t wearing any underwear. Your breath hitches when his fingers travel through your folds. “No panties and you’re fucking soaked.”

“Panty lines would have ruined the look.” You shrug.

“Well you did look good. But now I’m going to ruin you. And I’m going to start by doing what I’ve thought about doing for the longest time.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m going to taste you.” He says as he settles between your legs.

Ransom starts by kissing your thighs until he reaches your center and then he dives right in. His lips wrap around your clit and he sucks hard and up until this moment you never realized how much you needed Ransom to eat you out. You can’t help the need you feel to push your pussy more into his face but it only seems to spur him on. He groans as he tastes you and you pull on his hair. His tongue moves from your clit to your weeping entrance and back before he adds a finger and pushes in. Ransom’s pace is quick and suddenly he adds a second finger while he continues to flick his tongue over your clit. Your orgasm is rapidly approaching and you feel like you’re on fire.

“Don’t stop. Please.” You say breathlessly. “Gonna come.”

“I can feel it, pretty girl. Doing so good. Be a good girl and come for me.” He commands and you do as you’re told.

Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. You have your eyes closed and your head thrown back in pleasure as you chant his name over and over. When you finally get a hold of your senses you realize Ransom is hovering over you again. This time he’s just watching you. A smile graces his lips and his eyes are full of that sweet and loving gaze he always held for you. It’s almost too much and not enough at the same time.

“You look so beautiful like this.” He murmurs against your lips. With the kiss you taste yourself in his tongue and you gasp.

You do your best to push him so that he’s laying on his back but he doesn’t budge and he chuckles when you roll your eyes. Finally he moves and watches you get rid of the dress which became more of a belt with how it was only around your waist. Vulnerability hits you suddenly. He hasn’t seen you since you were 17. Your body has definitely changed since then and since having the twins. All you want to do is cover yourself up. Ransom notices the sudden change in your demeanor and moves towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey, none of that.”

“I can’t help it. It’s been a while.” You confess.

“So what. C’mere.” He pulls you to stand between his legs. He immediately starts kissing your belly and the stretch marks that remained even after all this time. “You’re so beautiful, don’t hide from me. You gave me the most beautiful gift ever with this body.”

Ransom pulls you back to bed and he settles between your legs again. You can feel how hard he is against your thigh and you move your hand between both your bodies. His breath gets caught in his throat as you palm his hard cock through his underwear before pulling him out.

“Fuck.” He mutters as he ruts into your hand.

Ransom pulls away from you and you move with him. You have the intention of returning the favor. But he pushes you gently back against the bed and then grabs his pants. You give him a confused look until you see that he’s pulling a condom out. Ransom puts it on and is hovering over you again.

You look him straight in the eyes as you line him up and he pushes in. He moans with you as he bottoms out in one quick thrust.

“Still so fucking good. Best pussy I’ve ever had.” He mutters as he starts to move.

“Ran.”

“Tell me pretty girl. What do you want?”

“Faster, please.” You say. Your nails dig into his biceps as you hold on to him.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

Ransom pulls back until he’s kneeling between your legs. His hands are on your hips as he pulls you with him and his eyes never leave yours. Neither of you can break eye contact as he moves faster just like you asked. He hits your g-spot every time and the second orgasm of the night hits you quickly. You say his name over and over again until he’s kissing you.

His hands move from your hips and travel up your body until he’s holding yours over your head. You intertwine your fingers with his and the moment shifts from just getting pleasure to something more. His thrusts slow but are still hard.

“I missed you.” You say, a tear escapes you.

“I missed you too, baby.”

Neither can deny that the attraction is still there. That you still seek each other out for more than talking about the twins. Things between you were left unresolved but as you lay there underneath him you can’t ignore the emotions that bubble under the surface. The possible meaning of having sex after being apart for so long.

“Ransom. S’good.” You mutter between kisses.

“You gonna give me one more?” He looks down at you to find your beautifully blissed out face. “I can feel how tight you are. I know you can give me one more.”

One of his hands leaves yours and he shifts until he can start circling your clit. The added stimulation has your jaw slacking. You mewl and move your hips to meet his thrusts.

“Come with me. Please baby.” You whisper as he hides his face in your neck.

You shudder as Ransom thrusts faster and harder. He grunts against your skin and you know you’re both close to the edge. Your legs wrap around him as his hips stutter with a few more thrusts and you feel yourself being pulled over the edge with him. You can see stars and feel Ransom’s weight on you and nothing has felt better than this in a long time. After a minute of catching his breath Ransom reluctantly pulls out of you softly and lays down beside you.

“That was amazing.” You murmur.

“You’re welcome.”

“Shut up.” You lightly slap his chest as you chuckle.

You feel the bed shift and look to the side to see Ransom get up and go to the bathroom. When he comes back he has a damp hand towel in hand.

“I’m gonna clean you up thimble.”

You hiss at the over sensitivity as he cleans up the mess between your thighs but you thank him anyway. Then he pulls back the covers and lets you get comfortable before sliding in next you and pulling you into his chest. You both stayed awake, the conversation was minimal but Ransom keeps you close. Soon enough he’s kissing you again and you find yourselves wrapped up in each other. Over and over again.

It’s mid morning when you finally stir. There’s a hushed conversation happening as you stretch out in bed and an obvious empty spot next to you. However Ransom saunters in wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He says as he leans down and gives you a quick kiss on the lips. “Come on, get up. I ordered us some breakfast.”

You stretch again and this time the covers slide down and reveal your chest to him. He does nothing to hide his ogling.

“Maybe we can stay in bed for a few extra minutes.” He says as he moves to lay back down.

You laugh as you cover yourself up again by wrapping the sheets around you.

“Fine,” Ransom pouts. “But hurry up because the water is getting cold.”

“The water?”

Ransom smirks as he leads you to the huge ensuite bathroom where he had prepared a bath for you. There were rose petals floating on the water and the scent of rose and bergamot permeated in the air. The breakfast that Ransom had ordered was set up for easy reach from the bathtub and it was all bite size versions of your favorite foods.

Ransom gets in first and you drop your sheet and he holds a hand out to help you in. Once you’re settled and relaxed Ransom hands you a cup of coffee and he takes his own. You talk about the wedding and work. By the time the water was cold, breakfast was gone and you had to go finish the last few details on Faith’s dress.

“Are you free tonight?” Ransom asks as he stands at the door.

“I should be.”

“Good, I’ll pick you up at five-thirty.” He says before giving you a kiss and leaving before you can protest.

****

“You got dicked down.” Faith states as she walks in on you finishing up the last adjustment her dress needed.

You look over your shoulder and roll your eyes.

“I saw him walking out of your suite and toward the elevator. I knew you’d get back together.”

“Woah,” you raise a hand to stop her. “We had sex… multiple times. But we didn’t talk about getting back together.”

“What are you talking about? It’s inevitable. Your kids are back in your lives, you’re both single and successful. Nothing is getting in the way of you being together. If you don’t end up together right away, you will eventually.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.” Faith nods as she looks over the dress one more time. “I’m the bride, I'm never wrong.”

“Why are you here? Didn’t you say you had a whole spa day planned?”

“I booked some things for you too.”

“But I’m adding-“

“The dress is already perfect. The only way it can be more perfect is by me wearing it, which I will, tomorrow. Now let’s go relax.” She pulls your hand as you put away the last of your sewing kit.

“Fine, let’s go.”

“Wow.” Ransom mutters as you open the door. “Stunning.”

You were wearing a simple navy sundress with small white flowers on it and sandals. Your hair was up and away from your face and you kept your makeup simple. Ransom wore a simple short sleeve button up shirt and dark jeans. He pulled you by the waist and kissed you.

“Ready to go?”

“Mhm.” You hummed wide eyed and slightly breathless. The things this man could do to you and you’d happily let him.

****

Ransom had led you to the docks where there was a wooden runabout boat waiting for you. He got in first and offered you his hand so that you could get in before you were whisked away.

You were kept on your toes and pleasantly surprised when the boat was docked at a private beach. Ransom led you further away from the dock and toward a picnic on the beach. It was just in time to watch the sunset.

“This is amazing.”

“Anything for you, thimble.” Ransom kissed your cheek once you settled next to him.

“I didn’t realize you were such a romantic.”

“What, was me climbing up to your dorm room to deliver the foods you were craving during your pregnancy not romantic enough?”

You smile at the memory of that. He did get in trouble more than once for sneaking out of the school grounds in the middle of the night but he never let you down. Those were some of your favorite memories. He would sneak into your room and sit with you and talked to the twins while you ate.

“It was very romantic, you’re right.”

“I know.” He smirked as he handed you a flute of champagne. “I know you don’t really drink but I thought we should celebrate.”

“And what are we celebrating?”

You look at him over the flute of champagne as you take a sip. His ocean blue eyes don’t leave your face for even a moment as he thinks over what he’s going to say. Ransom drinks his champagne in one go.

“Reuniting, meeting the twins, getting a chance to know them.” He starts rambling before he looks down at you. “This.” He says as his lips slot over your perfectly.

The champagne glasses are long forgotten on the picnic blanket as you move to straddle him. Ransom’s hands are lost under the skirt of your dress and you don’t waste any time in unbuttoning his shirt and then undoing his belt. He groans against your lips as you pull him out of his pants and begin to slowly move your hand up and down his hardened length.

“You’re so fucking wet baby.” He mutters as he runs his fingers through your folds.

“I want you.”

“Then take what you want.” Ransom says as he holds your panties to the side.

You line yourself up with his cock and sink down. He’s big so you have to go slow. Once he’s buried to the hilt you stay like that for a moment. Ransom kisses and nips all along your neck before pulling down your dress and taking a nipple into his mouth. As his tongue plays with your pebbled peak you begin to move. A slow roll of your hips here and there until Ransom can’t take it anymore. His hand comes down on your ass.

“Stop fucking teasing, and I know you liked me smacking your ass. I can feel the way this pretty pussy is gripping me.” He says with a growl. “Now move.”

You do as he says and you begin to bounce on his cock. Ransom brings his hands to your hips and he helps you move until he flips you so that he can hover over you. His hips move faster and harder against you. His and your moans mix with the waves lapping up against the shore and the breeze moving the tree branches. Your legs wrap around his waist as you try to pull him closer to you. That fire in your belly that only Ransom seems to ignite is spreading like wildfire and you know you’re close.

“Fuck, right there.” you moan as he hits your g-spot. “Don’t stop.”

“Feel so fucking good.” He grunts into your ear. “Come for me baby. I want to feel you come around my cock.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he begins to circle your clit. With a plea of his name you come undone.

“That’s my fucking girl.” He says as he comes inside you. His lust blown eyes never leaving yours.

The two of you stay there and catch your breath. You can’t help but laugh a bit.

“What’s so funny?” He asks as he pulls back to look down at you. You reach up and fix the few pieces of his hair that have fallen into his face.

“No matter how long it’s been, we still act like horny teenagers. At the first chance of us being alone we start fucking.”

He chuckles before capturing your lips with his.

“I can’t help it that you’re irresistible.”

“Mmhmm.” You say as he slowly pulls out and fixes your dress before tucking himself back in. “This is the best picnic I’ve ever been to.”

“I should hope so.”

The morning of the wedding was going to be chaotic. You could feel it as you practically kicked Ransom out of your suite. After taking a quick shower and getting your hair and makeup done you rush to Faith’s room with all the dresses in hand.

Just as you expected everyone was running around like crazy. You got there just in time to help one of the bridesmaids not rip her dress and then sat in the corner to fix the issue. At some point Faith had had enough of the bickering and chatting and demanded that everyone leave the room except for you. And the photographer of course.

With some music on and some champagne for the bride you helped her into her dress. In the mirror you stood just beside her. She grabbed your hand and looked at you through the mirror, a scene that the photographer captured. It was a sweet moment between friends. She looked beautiful.

“This could be you.” She says after a moment. As she gently smoothed her dress out.

“Oh really? Is our wedding still on then? I have something else I can wear if I’m replacing Scott.”

You laugh but Faith just raises an eyebrow.

“I’m being serious. This could be you and Ran. You were made for each other.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Just his dick?” Faith quips.

You roll your eyes but step away to check your makeup one more time.

“All I’m saying is give yourself a chance, ok? You’re reunited and both of you are single. I mean you spent the last two nights fucking.”

“Ok, can we just stop this conversation right now. It’s your wedding day. All attention should be on you.”

“I’m the bride and I decide what I want to talk about. But you’re right I’m going to be walking down the aisle any second now.”

“Ms. Carter I think we should do some shots of you with your family seeing you for the first time.” The photographer speaks up from the corner of the room.

“I’ll leave you to it and I’ll see you down there.”

****

You had made it down to the lobby of the hotel where the rest of the guests were milling about until the ceremony started. There were at least three hundred guests in attendance. A small wedding, in these social circles. Every once in a while someone would stop to talk to you about wanting you to design something for them or asking how you’ve been. You gave quick answers because you desperately wanted to find Ransom.

As you move closer to the entrance where the ceremony is going to be held you spot him. His hair is styled back and he looks so handsome in his tailored tuxedo. The smile on your face falls when a beautiful tall brunette leans in and kisses him. The issue wasn’t that she kissed him but that he kissed her back.

It was as if the wind had been knocked out of you. You turned on your heel and walked to the nearest bathroom. Taking a few deep breaths you tried not to cry. The last few days had been wonderful but just the thought that he had used you to cheat on who you assumed was his girlfriend made you sick to your stomach. Your phone went off and you grabbed it from your clutch to see a message that you were needed by the mother of the bride. You took some tissue and dabbed the corners of your eyes in order to not cry and ruin your makeup and headed back upstairs.

****

The ceremony went off without a hitch. The only issue you had personally was your seat. The chairs had been arranged in a semicircle and unfortunately for you, Ransom and his girlfriend were right in your line of sight on the groom’s side. You had noticed that he kept scanning the seats, probably trying to find you but you do your best to stay hidden from him.

Thunderous applause snaps you out of your thoughts as the husband and wife kiss for the first time. Everyone stands as Faith and Scott start walking down the aisle. Faith’s eyes find you immediately and she gives you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. Tears sting your eyes as she starts walking back hand in hand with Scott and then you’re met with ocean blue eyes.

You square your shoulders and your eyes move from him to his date and back. His jaw tightens and you watch as he shakes her off of him. It doesn’t matter though, you turn your attention to getting out of there and up to the bridal suite to help Faith change into her reception dress.

Fortunately you were seated at the family table so you were next to Faith’s parents. Her mother kept you distracted enough to not look around the room in search of Ransom. It wasn’t until Faith and Scott made their grand entrance and had their first dance as husband and wife that you made eye contact again. He was sitting at a table on the opposite side of the dance floor. His date sat next to him dreamily watching the couple dance.

For the next few hours you had to make sure you stayed at a safe distance. You didn’t need to hear his shitty excuse. This wasn’t the time or place for it. He tried to get closer though, on multiple occasions but you made sure to walk away before he could reach you. At some point Scott whisks you away to the dance floor.

“He’s an idiot.” Scott says.

“Who?”

“Ransom. If it makes you feel better he really did break up with her before the wedding. She just showed up today.”

“It really doesn’t but thanks I guess.” You murmur.

“You know when we were in college he was always at parties, getting drunk and doing everything a guy does at a frat house.”

“That’s thrilling. Why are you telling me this?”

“Just making small talk.” He gives you a little smile when he sees you glaring up at him. “One night though got very drunk. It was in May at the end of the semester. He got completely wasted, that’s when he confided in me that he had left the love of his life behind. He felt horrible about it.”

You tensed because the only important date toward the end of May was the twins’ birthday.

“Every year like clockwork he would do the same thing so eventually I started looking out for him. It didn’t click until the yacht that it was you. I should have known because when I brought Fai to meet him they already knew each other. But I’ve never seen Ransom smile like that in my life. I know there must be something else going on and I don’t need to know it but just talk to him. The girl that’s here, she’s nice and all but it’s obvious she’s not you.”

“Are you really being a wingman for him right now?” You ask as you look around the room. Those piercing blue eyes seem to be everywhere you look.

“No, I’m being one for you. I’ve never seen you smile like you have this weekend either. I can’t imagine what happened between you two in high school but isn’t getting past that worth being happy again?”

“That’s the thing Scott, you don’t know what happened.” You say as the song ends and you leave him standing in the middle of the dancefloor.

You try to walk out as fast as you can. All of the day’s emotions were starting to suffocate you and you needed a moment away from it all. The hotel has a lovely garden that overlooks the ocean. With the reception going on it happens to be empty so you take a seat at a bench facing the beach. After a few minutes of silence and you thinking things through you hear rustling behind you and you dread to look over your shoulder only to find Ransom.

“You’ve been avoiding me all day. What is your problem?”

“My problem?” You look at him incredulously. “After the last few days we spent together you show up with another woman on your arm. How am I supposed to feel?”

“She means nothing to me. Is that what this is about? Are you jealous?” He smirks.

“I’m not jealous.” You snap. “I feel used and lied too. Did you really break up with her before the wedding or did you lie about that just so that you could get into someone’s pants?”

Ransom rolls his eyes which only serves to piss you off more. His flippant attitude is not helping the situation and only adding on to your thoughts that he was only using you to have a good time this weekend. If it were true that would be just as devastating as when he walked away without reason.

“I was going to ask you to let me stay in your room when she got here, I just didn’t get a chance to talk to you before the wedding.”

“Didn’t seem like you were trying to get away from her when you shoved your tongue down her throat. Did you think about how I’d feel at all by seeing you with her like that? The answer’s probably not.”

Ok so maybe you were a bit jealous. But in all honesty even if you hadn’t spent most of your time in bed with Ransom for the last few days you would have still been jealous.

You could see the mask that Ransom had methodically crafted to protect himself after years of abuse and fights, slip into place. He’d never just shut down like that on you and whatever was going to happen next wasn’t going to be good. The muscle in his jaw ticked and his hands were balled into fists at his side.

“We aren’t kids anymore, we don't need to be in a relationship to sleep together. What did you think was going to happen? That we’d ride into the sunset together? Don’t be so fucking naive. It was just sex, it didn’t mean anything.”

Every word cut deeper but you didn’t allow yourself to cry. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction to see your tears.

“I thought you’d have a bit of respect for the mother of your children.”

“What children? The ones you gave away?” He sneers.

It would have hurt less if he would have slapped you across the face. You stared at him with wide eyes, hurt and disbelief written all over your face. Neither of you say anything and you will yourself to turn around and walk away from him. You send Wanda a text and ask her to have the plane ready to leave tonight, you also miss the way Ransom’s shoulders deflate as he watches you walk away.

****

You had packed up everything quickly and had it taken to the plane while you checked out. The wedding was still going on but you texted Hope and let her know you left. Although you were sure no one would miss you. In the lobby of the hotel you check out and head to the restroom before you head to the plane.

As you give yourself a once over in the mirror one of the stall doors open and you come face to face with someone else you didn’t want to see. She gets closer to the sinks and looks up making eye contact with you through the mirror.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N.” She states excitedly and then groans. “I’m sorry it’s just I’m such a huge fan. I’m Bertie Wilcox.”

“Bertie?”

“It’s short for Alberta. I used to hate it as a kid.” She smiles. “It was actually my boyfriend who gave me the nickname. I’m not sure if I should even call him that. I don’t know where we stand right now.” She rambles as she washes her hands and you turn to look at her. “I guess we’re in a bit of a rough patch. But I hope things work out.”

You give a small hum to acknowledge that you’ve been listening.

“I’m so sorry I don’t tend to ramble about my personal life with someone I just met. This is so embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“The wedding dress was so lovely. I didn’t know you had a wedding line.”

She’s being nice which means she most likely doesn’t know about you and Ransom. It also makes it difficult for you to hate her. What’s happened between you and Ransom really isn’t her fault and she is the one in a relationship with him. You have no right to have any hateful feelings towards her but you still can’t help it. If she hadn’t shown up then tonight would have gone completely different.

“I don’t.”

“Oh. What a shame. You’d definitely take over that industry.” She smiles at you and you give her a half hearted smile back.

“I should go. I have a plane to catch.”

“It was nice meeting you.” She says as she watches you walk away.

She waits a minute before she heads back to the reception. Bertie finds Ransom at the bar and takes the seat beside him. He doesn’t look at her or acknowledges her presence and Bertie can only sigh. For the rest of the night he’s more distant than before. When they do make it upstairs to the suite Ransom had, she takes the bed and he takes the couch.

By the time you get back to New York your eyes sting from having spent most of the time on the flight crying. How did such a good weekend go bad so quickly?

It was still fairly early in the day and the only thing that made you smile was the pictures of Theodore and Abigail for their first day of school. You made sure to have one of them printed so that you could keep it on your desk at work. With a quick text a promise to do something that weekend and wish them a great first day.

Wanda meets you at your apartment and immediately hugs you. You weren’t sure if it’s what you needed because you started crying again. Fortunately Wanda didn’t ask any questions and you only said that you and Ransom had a disagreement but she knew it was more than that.

“I cleared the next two days for you.” She says as she helps you unpack.

“That’s not necessary. I’d much rather work.”

“Then work on new designs but you won’t be meeting any new clients this week.” Wanda crosses her arms over her chest.

You open your mouth to say something but then decide against it. Wanda takes it as a win and gives you one more hug before inviting you over to her place to a dinner party she’s hosting at the end of the week.

After she leaves you take a quick shower and decide to take a nap. At this point you’d been awake for way too long. As you settle into bed your phone rings. You see Abigail’s smiling face and you quickly answer it. She immediately goes into details about her first day and how different schools are in New York than they are in the smaller town in Ohio she grew up in. Theodore adds his own commentary as his face pops into frame. You smile and ask a few questions here and there. After a few minutes they let you go and the need to sleep is stronger. Maybe if you take a nap everything will be better by the time you wake up.

Ch. 6

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[fastlikealambo]

 Grilled Cheese: Eddie Munson x Sinclair!Reader One Shot

 Summary:

You’re burned out and Eddie knows just how to fix that.

Trigger Warnings: burnout, sleepiness, cuddling

Just felt like writing a quick little sweet drabble!

“ I need you to work a double tomorrow.” Your boss at the Big Buy yelled out two minutes after you clocked out.

“I can’t, I have finals all day till five.”

“ Then you’re on from six to six with the night crew, problem solved.”

Your shoulders fall  but you know you need the money so it’s off you go. By the time you get home the whole house is already sleeping but not you, not yet anyway.

 You’ve got just enough time to cram for your finals, it will all be fine, you just need to get through the next few hours.

“Baby, you sure you don’t wanna eat now? You need something in your stomach before your tests.” Your mom asked but you zoom right by her.

“I’ll grab something on the way, I gotta go, love you!” You call back, keys in hand.

But you don’t grab something on the way, you go straight to campus to study just a little bit more before your first final.

By the time you look up, you’re halfway through your shift at work again, leaning on a shelf trying to stay awake.

“I need you to cover my shift from 7 to 5 tomorrow. Oh and if you can lean, you can clean Sinclair!”

It’s fine, you just need to power through it.

“Nope, I’m not getting in that car, not with that zombie behind the wheel.”

You were supposed to be picking up Erica from Hellfire Club and then picking up another shift after dropping her off, maybe squeezing in some time to see your loving boyfriend but instead you're slumped over the wheel of the car outside Hawkins High.

A knock at the window jolts you awake to see your boyfriend and sister staring at you.

“Oh hey baby. You ready to go to Hellfire, Erica?” You asked, sleepy and confused.

“Yeah, so that’s not happening. Applejack, hop in my van while I grab your sister and pretend that sentence doesn’t sound as kidnapy as it did.” Eddie says, throwing Erica his keys.

“Eddie, I have a test on Thursday, I’ve got to get to work.” You protested incoherently

“ Well it’s a good thing it’s Friday then, sweetheart. How the hell did you drive yourself here?”  

Eddie asked, unlocking your door and lifting you out of the driver’s seat.  You nuzzle into his neck, getting nice and comfortable only for him to put you down in the passenger seat of his car.

“ Out of the driver’s seat Erica.”

“Fine.”

The drive is quick as Eddie drops off your sister with a financial incentive to relay the message that you’re staying over with Eddie to your parents.

“Eddie, I’m going to be late for-

“Out of curiosity baby, when’s the last time you actually slept?” He could practically see the mental math going on in your head and that did nothing to ease his worry.

“So that answers that question. When’s the last time you ate something that wasn’t going to be thrown out at the end of your shift?”

“My mom made pancakes on Monday?” You offer up, squeezing his hand as you pull up to his trailer. You let him lead you on shaky legs, folding up on the couch with a yawn as he grabs the phone from under a pile of stuff.

“Eddie, who are you calling?”

He holds up one finger.

“Hi, is this the manager? My girlfriend isn’t coming in tonight, she’s sick-

“ Eddie!”

“Well I’m sure you’ll find someone to cover her shift because she’s not coming in.” He finishes, hanging up the phone.

Before you can argue, he disappears into his room, returning with one of his shirts, a towel and washcloth and the silk scarf you left there for when you slept over.

“Go shower and when you’re done, you’ll eat. Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder baby, it will not end well.” He said in a tone that did not imply argument and while you were contemplating all the ways you were gonna be fired, you did as he asked, relishing in the hot water instead of the quick showers you’ve had all week.

A grilled cheese and a bottle of water await you when you return from the shower, refreshed and hair wrapped. You take your rightful place on his lap, actually eating to enjoy your food while he slowly rubs your back.

“ How ya feeling now, princess?”

“Better, exhausted but better.” You said, finishing your sandwich.

“ You had me worried there for a bit.  Come on, let’s get you to bed, baby girl. “ He puts the plate in the sink before picking you up again and depositing you under the covers of his bed. He showers before joining you, wet curls ticking the back of your neck as he pulls you to his chest.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Thank you for this. I thought I was fine but clearly I wasn’t.”

“ You’re my girl, I’m always gonna take care of my girl, no matter what.” He kisses your cheek.

And he does just that, peppering your neck with soft kisses until you’re out like a light in his arms for a well deserved rest.

the end :)

[from-a-reckless-writer]

"Alex?"

"Yeah?" Was the automatic response, Alex's eyes are now swimming over the control board, barely keeping her head up, feet don't even have the energy to turn around.

Who knew getting back to Earth was harder than getting out of it?

The damage the ship took going into the Phantom Zone meant their journey back home would be a slow one. Everybody else had passed out soon after the teary reunion with Kara. It was like that moment was everyone's last burst of energy before giving out.

Except for Alex, of course, who volunteered to take the first shift of overseeing the ship's controls. Alex hears Kara come closer, till she's leaning back the edge of the control panel, arms crossed on her chest.

Alex waits for her sister to start talking, watches her fiddling with the corners of the white blanket she's dragged from her bed to here.

"I-is Lena, okay?"

"What??" Kara hears the panic in Alex's voice and immediately rephrases, "No, no, I mean she's fine. But she's been sleeping for like 5 hours now, I've been waiting for her to wake up and she's just-"

"Kara, are you worried about Lena taking a nap???" She asks, just a hint of amusement at her sister's forlorn face.

"A nap lasts twenty minutes, Alex. She's been asleep for 5 hours! I-" Kara stops herself, calms a little. "I've been waiting for her to wake up," Kara murmurs.

"I have something I want to tell her."

Ah, yes. Alex doesn't need to ask to know what that something is.

She turns soft, relaxes a little and copies Kara's position, leans back against the edge of the panel as well, shoulder brushing Kara's. From here, they can both see, the others sleeping at the corner of the ship.

J'onn sitting up with his arms crossed and his head lolled to the side. Nia resting on Brainy's left shoulder, their hands entwined. And Lena, who was laying next to Kelly, peacefully asleep.

Good thing, J'onn kept a cot and a few pillow on the ship, or else they all would've found themselves trying to sleep on the cold, hard, floor.

"She hasn't slept in three weeks, Kara," Alex tells her.

Well, to be honest, none of them had slept, but it was Lena who didn't even take a nap between breaks. She was the earliest one at the Tower and the last one to leave, till Alex realized she was the earliest because Lena never really left the Tower. She kept working, through the night.

"What?" Kara says, worry in her voice.

"She wanted to bring you home. She didn't want to stop working."

"Oh, Lena."

"You should join her."

"What? No, Alex, I don't think she wants me to-"

Alex interrupts whatever idiotic excuse Kara has ready, "Look, the girl hasn't slept for three weeks to save you. I'm pretty sure she'd appreciate you staying close."

Kara looks at her and then back to Lena's sleeping form and then back to Alex, blue eyes filling with hesitancy.

Alex puts a hand on her shoulder, urges her on, "Kara, go."

"I-"

"Go."

Kara finally gives in, Alex fights the urge to roll her eyes. How long are they going to continue skirting around this?

She expects Kara to lay next to Lena, but no, of course that's not what her sister does. She crouches down and takes Lena into her arms.

"Kara, don't-" Alex tries to protest, but it's futile.

"I can handle it, Alex."

Stubborn, little-

She's only been under the sunlamps for a few hours and she's trying to bridal carry a grown woman.

Alex just sighs, watches as Kara straightens up, Lena fully in her arms. Lena doesn't stir the entire time.

"She's supposed to be sleeping on a bed. It's the least I can do," Kara tells her, head tilting to the med bed she's been occupying.

"You're making me look like a bad girlfriend."

Kara blushes, squirms. "Lena's not my- We're not-"

"I'm teasing, Kara. Now, go cuddle or whatever." Alex shoos them away, trying to hide the smile on her lips.

She pretends to turn back to the panel only to turn around again and watch Kara lay Lena gently on the bed, brushing dark hair from her face.

Kara doesn't hesitate in climbing in next to her.

***

By the time, they've reached Earth and everybody else is trying to wake up everybody else, Alex walks in to find Lena's completely wrapped herself around Kara. Her head on her chest, arms around torso, their legs tangled and Kara's nose in Lena's hair.

Alex almost doesn't have the heart to wake them up.

[torreshalstead]

20 hours

First fic for One Chicago Appreciation Week 2022 and Burzek Appreciation Week 2022! AO3 link

Prompts - Chills and ‘Why won’t you let me in? What are you afraid of?’

Summary - Those 20 hours in solitary had affected Adam more than he cared to let on and he was hiding it from everyone. But he works in an elite unit so people are bound to notice.

Notes - I played around with the timelines a bit but it’s set after the Season 2 episode ‘Prison Ball’ but includes elements of Season 5 as Hailey is present

Adam woke with a start. Breathing heavily, he ran his hands over his face in an attempt to wipe the sweat away, cool the chills and calm himself down. It had been 5 days since those 20 hours and he hadn’t slept through the night once. He looked to his right and breathed a sigh of relief to see Kim still sleeping soundly, curled on her side. At least he hadn’t woken her up he thought as he looked over at the clock. 3:38am. The earliest he could get into the bullpen without arising suspicion was 6, any earlier and people would start asking questions and this was not something he wanted to talk about.

Getting out of bed quietly so as not to wake his sleeping girlfriend, he walked into the kitchen. Coffee, that would ensure he stayed awake for the rest of the day and no one would know any different. Whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish, he looked around. His once manly bachelor pad now bore signs of someone in a happy relationship. There were pictures on the fridge, cushions on the sofa, that Adam had no idea how they got there, and two glasses with the dregs of last night’s wine on the coffee table. Adam smiled to himself, even with everything going on in his head right now he still had her. She was the love of his life, for that he was sure and he knew he had to get over this, for her sake if not for his own.

-------

Dragging himself into the precinct at 6am was not what he had planned today yet here he was. He went straight into the break room to make another cup of coffee, it was going to be a long day. His phone chimed shortly after he returned to his desk – it was a picture of the note he had left Kim on her mug and a message saying I love you too. A small grin crept across his face.

‘What’s got you smiling like a fool’ came Kevin’s voice. Adam had been so preoccupied that he hadn’t even noticed him coming up the stairs.

‘Nothing’ Adam said.

‘Yeah nothing to rhyme with Burgess’ Kevin smirked.

If there was one person who understood the relationship he had with Kim, it was Kevin. The two hadn’t necessarily gotten off to the best start in relation to her but now Adam understood that he was only looking out for her, and he appreciated someone else having her back.

-------

By the time lunch came around, Adam was on his fourth cup of coffee and people were starting to notice his irritable behaviour. He had snapped at Jay when Jay asked what was wrong. Had barked orders at Hailey even though she outranked him. Al had called him out for zoning out during their meeting and Voight, well Voight could tell something was up.

‘Ruzek’, the gruff voice of their Sergeant said, ‘my office, now’. Adam groaned internally, getting called to the Boss’s office was never good news and he knew after the way he was behaving today, it definitely wasn’t.

‘Sarge’ he said when he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

‘You going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to drag Burgess up here and hear it from her’. Oh, great Adam thought, he thinks it’s my relationship that’s getting in the way of the job, whereas the relationship was the only thing keeping him afloat right now.

‘It’s nothing Sarge, and it’s got nothing to do with Kim, she’s great, I mean we’re fine. I just…’, he took a breath, ‘haven’t been sleeping great, think I just need a new pillow is all’ he said with a chuckle. Voight didn’t look convinced.

‘If that’s all, close the door on your way out’.

‘That’s all Sarge, I’m good’. And with that, he left Voight’s office and headed straight to the locker room. He sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands, I’ve got to get over this he thought. If not I’m out of intelligence and that can’t happen. Just as he was trying to pull himself together, he heard a voice.

‘Adam, hey, what’s up?’ He looked up to see Kim walk in, she looked concerned. ‘You didn’t text back this morning, I just wanted to check you’re alright. You’ve been gone every morning this week before I wake up’.

Adam rubbed his face, ‘I’m all good darlin’’ he said with his signature grin, ‘just had paperwork to catch up on’. And with that, he got up, quickly pecked her on the cheek and headed back to the bullpen, leaving a very confused and worried Kim in his wake.

-------

Adam was the last to leave the bullpen that evening and once he thought he was alone he headed back into the locker room. He knew Kim had gone home earlier; she had text him to say she was going to cook if he was home before 7. It was now 9 and he had shot her a message back to say the team had to stay late. In reality, Voight had a meeting in the Ivory tower at 5 and the rest of the team apart from him and Jay had left before 6. Jay had headed out a little while ago and he had just been staring at the screen until he thought he was alone. He knew Kim would probably be in bed by the time he got home which meant he could hopefully avoid the conversation he knew was coming.

When he got to the locker room however he saw that he wasn’t alone. Jay was sat on the bench waiting for him.

‘Ruze, talk to me man’.

‘It’s nothing Jay really, I’ve just not been sleeping, need a new pillow, you know the story’. He tried to play it off but he could see Jay wasn’t believing him.

‘That’s not it though is it’, Jay said in a slow calm voice. ‘You’ve been like this ever since that UC case. The one in the prison’.

Adam bristled, he wanted to say something, anything to deflect what Jay was saying but he couldn’t get the words out.

‘Going into the hole must have been hell man, I’ve heard the stories. It’s normal that it would have affected you. Hell, you’d be crazy if you didn’t get torn up over what you saw.’

Adam sat down facing his locker, not wanting to see Jay’s face.

‘I’ve seen the look in your eyes before’, Jay took a deep breath, ‘I’ve had that look in my eyes too. When every time you close them your back somewhere that broke you. It’s normal but you’ve got to get some help man. Have you told anyone the real reason you’re not sleeping?’ Adam shook his head. ‘Not even Burgess?’.

Adam scoffed. ‘What do I tell her? Hey Kim, you know your big strong cop boyfriend who’s not afraid of bullets. Well he got locked in a room for 20 hours and went almost crazy and now he can’t sleep because he keeps having nightmares.’

Jay looked at him slowly, ‘yes’ he said simply. ‘Tell her and she’ll be there for you. Hell that girl is crazy about you and heaven knows why’. He chuckled quietly. ‘You’ve got PTSD Adam, at least on some level’ he said as Adam looked at him and tried to interrupt. ‘20 hours locked in a room with no windows, hearing sounds of other prisoners going crazy, not knowing when you were going to get out. That’s a lot for anyone to take. Even a big strong cop’. He said with a smile. ‘I’ve known men bigger and stronger than you, crack under a lot less’.

‘But that’s different’ Adam said.

‘Why, because it was war. Men are men Adam, in prison, on the streets or on the battlefield. It doesn’t mean what we see or hear doesn’t affect us. You should talk to someone. When I had all that stuff with Morgan, therapy got me through it. Well therapy and Upton.’

Adam looked up at him with a curious expression.

‘Yeah, she basically told me if I didn’t go to therapy and start dealing with it, she was going to ask for another partner’.

‘Damn, for someone so small, she’s feisty’. Smirked Adam, Jay nodded and laughed.

‘She is, but it took that for me to realise that me not dealing with it wasn’t just effecting me. It was having an impact on those around me, those I care about.’

‘But therapy’ Adam said, ‘talking to someone about my feelings and crap, not sure that’s for me.’

‘I didn’t think it was for me either, thought I’d be weak if I went to see someone but it helped. It really did. But start with talking to Kim, she knows somethings up. We all do. And she might surprise you.’

With that Jay patted him on the shoulder and headed out leaving Adam with a lot to think about.

-------

Adam took a breath before opening the door to his apartment. She loved him, he thought to himself, she loved him.

As he walked in, Kim turned her head to see him from where she was sat on the couch. ‘You’re home late’, she said. It wasn’t said in an accusatory tone, it was laced with something else, worry, perhaps.

Adam took of his jacket and draped it over a chair before making his way to sit next to her.

‘Talk to me Adam’, Kim said softly as she took his hands in hers. ‘Why can’t you let me in? What are you so afraid of?’.

This was it thought Adam, this is the moment I might lose her. And with that he started talking. Once he had opened the flood gates, it didn’t seem like he’d ever stop.

He told her how he hadn’t been sleeping because every night it felt like he was lying on that hard slab and all he could hear was the shouts coming from the neighbouring cells. He told her how he felt like he’d been in that room for days and when it turned out it was only 20 hours he was ashamed of how he felt. He told her when Kevin seemed fine straight afterwards that he must be weak for acting the way he was. He told her that he didn’t want her to think less of him because he was having nightmares so he made sure she fell asleep before he even dared to close his eyes. He told her how Jay had cornered him this evening and told him to talk to her and that maybe he should get some therapy. He told her how he had scoffed at the idea because good cops don’t need therapy. He told her how the reason he hadn’t told her any of this was because he was scared. He was scared she would look at him with pity, scared that she would think he was weak, scared that she’d leave him.

All through this, Kim watched him whilst he talked, holding his hands but never interrupting. She knew he had to get it all out and when it seemed like he had finished, she gently squeezed his hand and he looked at her.

But it wasn’t a look of pity that Adam saw, it was a look of love, a look of pride.

‘It took a lot to tell me all that Adam’, Kim smiled, ‘I always thought you were the strongest man I’d ever met’. Adam heard the past tense and looked away. Kim squeezed his hand again and he looked back. ‘But now I realise that you’re stronger than I ever thought and I love you more because of it.’

Adam had tears in his eyes and let out a weak laugh.

‘And we will get through this together, and if you want to go to talk to someone then…’. Adam interrupted her, ‘I do’ he said. ‘I think it’ll help’. She smiled, ‘then I will drive you to the appointments and wait until you’re finished. Then we can come home together, and talk about it, or not if that’s what you want, but we will do it together.’

Adam’s smile became even larger as he wrapped her into a hug and gently squeezed. How did I get to be so lucky he thought as he held the woman of his dreams and realised that tonight, he might actually get to sleep through the night, for the first time since that hideous day.

[sashi-ya]

Living with the Pirates of Heart ~ Day 7: A Nerd in Love (Law’s POV) ~ Part 2 - [That Pink Magic]

Hi babies! So, here we are with day 7 of this series. Second part of Law's POV. The story is told from Law's perspective, and how I imagine he is when it comes to love. (An insecure dork with pure intentions and a huge fear of being abandoned. Poor baby)

A/N: The story takes place before reader becomes Law's girlfriend. You will notice it is linked with one of the previous days. The sentences in italics are Law's thoughts.

WC: 1.9K

Day 1; Day 2; Day 3; Day 4; Day 5; Day 6 ; Day 7; Day 8; Day 9; Day 10

Tag list: @rivvd-art

DAY 7: P2 - A Nerd in Love (Law's POV).

Great, she doesn’t even remember… Law's heart breaks in a hundred pieces, she isn’t able to remember the kiss and that hurts him.

“Ah… My head hurts! Guys what the hell did we drink last night?” she says and laughs, Law shows her a subtle smile lending one of his hands to help her stand up. “Thank you, captain. I’m sorry, did I snore?” she says while brushing her hair with one hand and rubbing her eyes with the back of her other hand. The surgeon can’t help but imagine her waking up just like this every day by his side, a wish he thought will never come true.

“Don’t worry, Shachi snored the loudest” Law dares to joke, he needs to ease some tension. She laughs at Shachi’s reaction and enters the bathroom. His friends look at Law, they know exactly how he is feeling right now. “Law…” Penguin says while approaching him and placing a hand over his shoulder. “She doesn't remember at all” mumbles Law, looking at the ground…

They finally arrived at the submarine, and the captain and first commander headed to their room. They haven’t slept at all; a constant menacing presence has kept them awake in order to protect the others.

Law places his head over the pillow, once again building a fort of blankets he hides inside. He feels safe there, safe, and alone. Another pillow serves him as something to hug. He imagines that’s her; he imagines he protects her. That’s what he fears the most… What if he can’t protect her? What if something bad happens to her? What if he ever tells her how he feels and then she goes away?

“What should I do, Cora-san?” he whispers. Law always speaks to his beloved Cora when he needs advice. And despite knowing well there wouldn’t be a spoken answer, he feels the need to smile right after. That’s how he knows his dad is listening… Exhaustion finally wins the fight, and his eyelids finally close. Law nuzzles on the pillow and hugs it tight while he walks into the oneiric world.

She is right there, looking at him, extending her hand for him to take it. But Law can’t move, he wants to take her hand, but he can’t reach it. His legs don’t work, he feels two blocks of cement around his ankles. She looks at him disappointed, slowly walking into a bright light. “Stop! Wait!” he wants to shout but feels something over his mouth.

I can’t… I can’t… don’t go… I love you!

Law wakes up, sweating. His eyes feel watery, he was having a nightmare and he was for sure crying. “I’m such an idiot…” he grunts and stretches himself in order to look for a little book next to his bed. “Sora, Warrior of the Sea”. He flicks through the pages until his favorite one; Sora is getting married to Umi. The beautiful Umi looks so pretty in white, Sora smiles. All of their friends smile too.

Law’s inked finger grazes the smiles the drawings have on their faces and wonders if he would ever be able to smile like that. Her vivre card always stays right there too. The book and the little paper with a piece of her soul are always together. Law is never losing none of them. Lami gifted that manga for his eighth birthday…

After a good shower and a change of clothes, Law heads to the kitchen. He needs to see her face; he really needs it. And she is there, cooking onigiri. His favorite meal, next to Bepo and Pen.

“How many hours did you sleep, Law? Two? That’s too much!” jokes Pen while putting some canned meat on the pan. “Enough for me” Law grunts while sitting at the table and opening his manga and acts all focused into reading the same vignettes all over again for the thousandth time. But even if he loves the comic, he can't help but look at how graciously she moves and laughs while molding rice balls.

She turns around and looks at him staring at her. She… SHE IS WATCHING AT YOU LAW! Soon the caramel skin of his cheeks turn bright red and his grey eyes fix into the comic again. I’m such a creep…

Oh, but the jealousy of a man in love kicks in, as Law contemplates Penguin touching her shoulder. He is just taking a spatula, but that turns him on fire. Stop touching her, for the love of God!.

And Law, who is always so put together, so serious feels the stinging need to throw a tantrum. He clears his throat and closes the book. “For fucks sake, he knows I love her… stop touching her!!” he screams inside and walks away.

Law hears Bepo calling him, but he doesn’t care, he locks himself into his room once again. The surgeon, acting all like a little kid he flops into bed, he kicks the sheets crossing his arms on his chest. “FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK!” he shouts as he closes his eyes and remembers how she smiled at Penguin when he touched her. “OF COURSE, SHE LIKES HIM, HE IS A NORMAL GUY! He can talk to her, he can dance with her, he can smile at her! And what do I do? I treat her like she was one of the guys and even worse!”. Law is on the verge of crying, maybe the lack of sleep is affecting him too. He is not getting out of the stupid room; he is too pissed and sad…

He hears the sweet voice of his angel calling them to eat through the several speakers the submarine has. He hears the steps and shouts of the whole crew while running to the kitchen. “Foood!!”, “(Naaaame) I want your onigiris!”. He also hears his heart pumping faster to her voice.

A couple of hours have passed since lunch. Law’s tummy growls, but he insists not to leave the room. He is safer there; he can be all childish and annoyed as he wants. But the solitude doesn’t last for so long. Penguin and Shachi enter the room. “Is your tantrum over?” asks Pen, acting like the big brother he is. “It’s not a tant…” Law grunts but shuts his mouth halfway. It was a tantrum, yes it was.

He is sitting right there over the bed while the guys sit on the ground. Law takes his hands to his head and scratches his hair. “I’m sorry” he mumbles. “It’s ok, ass. She doesn’t remember the kiss and that’s alright, now you have a new opportunity to make it extra romantic, don’t you think? Plus, I saw her hugging your book today...” Penguin remarks.

“What book?” Law asks, he is so focused on being miserable that he forgot his treasure. “How am I even going to kiss her if I can’t even tell her I love her?” he sighs. Penguin massages his temples; Law is a true child when he wants.

“Law, you should already tell her you are in love” Shachi insists. “Yeah, come on I’m sure she feels the same way towards you. And stop being jealous of me, for God’s sake” Penguin tells him. “She will definitely leave the crew if I tell her” Law says.

“But… I’m sure…”. Law cuts Shachi by lifting his hand. The guys turn their head towards the half open door, Haki kicks in and they are sure someone was staring at them. “Haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?” Law protests while closing the metallic gate of his cabin.

Pen and Shachi start laughing, rolling on the ground. “What’s so funny?” Law asks. “The phrase, the door hahaha, that’s so Panic! at the Disco, Law!”. “You damn emo!”.

“Oh, fuck off!”

The afternoon went by smoothly. Law was pulled from misery by his brothers, they played cards when Bepo joined them and the pain on his heart was slowly less noticeable. But as everything in the Shinsekai is unstable and unexpected things could happen, the games were soon over. The Polar Tang was under attack, and they had to protect it.

Clione comes running, he knocks the door frenetically. “Captain! Attack! We are under attack!”. The guys run out as fast as they can. Over the deck several men and a woman wield katanas and guns towards him and the guys.

“Trafalgar Law, The Surgeon of Death!” the woman says, laughing. “Who the fuck are you?” Law says while placing his hand to cast his “Room”. “I bet she liked the kiss, huh? I saw you all having fun! You looked so nervous! Look, she is coming”. Law turns around and sees his angel coming towards him, shouting his name.

“Law!!”

Law does not hesitate, that bitch won’t hurt his precious person. "(Name)-ya, move!!” shouts Law, pushing her to the side. Penguin catches her while a strange light hits the surgeon.

“What… what’s going on?” he asks himself. Everything around him is dark, he feels cold. Law tries to speak, but he can’t. He wants to move, his legs feel weird, his arms too. Consciousness slowly fades away from him.

His mind seems to be trapped; he wants to talk but he babbles instead. Law fights between periods of being himself and periods of not understanding absolutely nothing. He sometimes thinks is shouting, but he hears himself crying… like a baby?

And there she is, a big person, a woman. The scent of her skin lulls him down, he catches himself playing with some strands of her hair. Whenever she holds him in arm, he feels so relaxed and happy. Slowly his adult mind is absent, the only thing he wants is to be placing his head on the chest of that woman… He is enjoying himself; he does not think and does not speak… he could get used to this, everything is all right now. No worries, no memories, no bad past.

A furry thing is next to him, the furry thing feels good to the touch. Law’s tiny hands feel weird when grazing the fur and the little wet black nozzle of that white thing. He looks at that woman, she is next to that thing he takes to his mouth when he feels hungry. And his belly feels hungry for sure. His little hand casts something blue, mixed sensations in his head. An adult voice inside shouts “shambles”.

A bottle is now on his hands, “good! now I can satisfy my hunger”. But the woman looks terrified and has the white fluff on his hands. “Hey, give me back my bear!” once again a strange adult voice inside him. “Law, you are creepy as fuck even in a baby form”, that woman says.

Law? Is that my name?

His little body feels weird, but he is resting once again over her chest. She sings, a sweet voice that lulls him to sleep, even if a strange voice inside him keeps shouting ���Wake up, Law. Wake up!!”...

Something feels heavy, hot, furry on his skin. “Aghhhh!!”, “Aya Aya, I’m sorry!!”, “BEPO, GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”. Law feels so good, so happy. He is hugging something that feels so warm, a sweet scent invades his nose. He feels free, delighted. He is in heaven; he doesn’t want to open his eyes.

“L-aw?” she stutters. “Hum..?” he asks, still with his eyes closed, hugging himself tighter to her. Her, his angel. “Law… you… you are an adult now” she whispers. The fluffy heavy thing stands up. Law opens his eyes and sees Bepo running away. He then realizes he is completely naked resting his head over her chest… and he is not going anywhere, this is heaven. “Please, let me stay like this” he mumbles and hugs her tight. She takes a little time to speak…

“Stay, please don’t go…”

[butwhyduh]

New Place

Roy Harper x batsis!reader

Warning: hints at sexy stuff

Roy reached over your body to grab a glass of water and chug it. You didn’t even move but laid boneless in bed. A very nice fluffy bed, mind you. He sat the glass down and kissed the corner of your lip. You smiled but otherwise didn’t even respond. Roy looked at you proudly. You were thoroughly wore out.

He had just moved into his own apartment in Star City. Boxes littered the floor and he had barely unpacked anything. But you were in his bed, in his place. And that was worth all the work. He had been living with Jason and Kori would sometimes stay over and Jason would have Isabel over and Dick and Babs would visit. Which was great. But you lived an hour away from Gotham in Star City going to college and he was getting tired of Gotham’s madness anyways.

But the real reason was that he couldn’t see you whenever. It’s impossible to hide the fact that he was dating Jason’s sister when he lived in the same house. Both of you agreed that your brothers wouldn’t take it well. Dick had ‘accidentally’ broken the hand of your prom date when his hand slipped too low. And Jason have every guy the shovel talk. You didn’t even want to think about what Bruce would say. Especially with Roy’s history of drug abuse.

It didn’t help that Roy was 5 years older. You’d had a crush on him as a kid. Roy had to meet up with your professor of history for a ‘theoretical’ artifact that definitely wasn’t something of importance that they needed to understand for a mission. He had barely recognized you waiting in the office before meeting the teacher but didn’t hesitate to accept your help for his mission. He asked you to coffee and one thing led to another.

“Baby,” Roy said softly, pulling you to his chest. You usually traced his tattoos but you just laid on him with a little pleased smile. “Did I tire you out?” He teased. You groaned and gave him a little scowl before closing your eyes again.

“Some would say 5 is excessive,” you mumbled.

“And yet all I heard was ‘don’t stop! Oh god- don’t stop!’” He said with a smirk. You lightly hit his chest with your hand. Roy laughed. “Alright, I’ll let you sleep, baby doll.”

You drifted off before his words truly even registered in your brain. Roy rubbed your back before falling asleep as well with your nude exhausted bodies tangled together.

A few hours later Roy woke up to the sound of knocking on his door. He groaned and went to move but realize you were asleep on him. His girlfriend at his place. He smiled before slowly sliding out from under you. The knocking continued and Roy almost hoped that it was a food delivery he forgot that he ordered. He threw on some pants before leaving the bedroom to open the front door.

“Hello,” he opened to see Jason standing there. Jason looked over his body with an eyebrow raised.

“Somebody had fun last night. Did you sleep with a vampire?” Jason said amused. Roy tried to not blush because he wasn’t usually shy but if Jason knew it was his sister leaving purple hickeys that definitely led directly to Roy’s dick... yeah, Roy would be dead.

“Yeah, you know,” He shrugged trying to act casual when it was anything but. Jason shrugged too even though he too was complete bullshit with him dating Isabel. He stepped in the apartment and closed the door. Roy thanked his luck stars that the bedroom door was closed.

“So, you wanna go get some lunch later or are you too busy?” Jason asked. Roy thought about it. He really wanted to stay all day with you but Jason would get suspicious if Roy wanted to stay all day with what he must assume is a one night stand.

“Uh yeah. I’ll meet you around 1? I’ve gotta shower and-“

“Cover up those vampire bites? Alright, hold on my phone’s ringing,” Jason answered his phone. “Alright Dickie, I’ll call her. That’s fine. I’ll see if she can do lunch. Do you mind Roy? If y/n meets us at lunch? Okay, talk to you later,” Jason said hanging up and dialing another number.

“That’s fine,” Roy said. And before he can do or say anything, your phone rang in the apartment on the kitchen counter. You pulled on his robe and came into the living room. The one where Jason and Roy were currently standing. Jason stood silent with his mouth slightly open.

“What. In the. Actual. Fuck,” Jason said with a deadly quietness to his voice.

“Jason!” You yelped and pulled the robes closer to your body, wishing it was longer. But Jason had already seen red bruises on your chest and neck. He was currently staring at one right above the robe.

“You? Him?” He said, lost for words. “You slept with my sister?” Jason asked roughly turning towards Roy.

“Jason, just calm down,” you said quickly stepping in front of Roy. Roy put up his hands in surrender but the look on Jason’s face was pure murder.

“You had a fucking one night stand with my sister? And she did that,” he motioned to the hickeys on Roy. Roy shrugged his shoulders with a ‘come on man’ look.

“It isn’t one night-“

“So you’re fuck buddies with her? My baby sister?”

“Jason, quit,” you said. Baby sister was an exaggeration as Jason was only 2 years older than you. “We’re dating.”

“You’re- what?” He said lost.

“I’m dating Roy. We are boyfriend and girlfriend, okay?” You said and Jason’s face went through the entire spectrum of human emotions.

“Why?”

“Ouch bro. That’s mean,” Roy said with a wince.

“Well she’s smart, pretty, successful. And you’re... you,” Jason said with a shrug. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, and I love him,” you said looking at Roy softly. “And if you can’t support that... then- then don’t talk to me.” You sounded more assertive than you felt.

“Hey, woah. I never said anything like that,” Jason said, his eyes softened. “Fuck. I don’t like this. And if you hurt my sister, I’ll break all your bones. But I guess I support you. Only because I trust you,” he said pointedly looking at you instead of Roy.

“Thanks,” Roy said dryly.

“No,” Jason said. “Just never let me see anything like this again. The fact that you did that is something I can’t forget.” He shuddered while looking at Roy.

“So are we good, Bro?” Roy asked with a hopeful half smile.

“Sure. Bring it in,” Jason said with his arms open as if wanting a hug. Roy looked him suspiciously but came in to hug him. Jason rewarded him with a quick jab to the nose. “For fucking my sister. Just standard practice,” he shrugged.

“Fuck,” Roy groaned, holding his nose that was starting to bleed.

“Jason! Really?” You said grabbing a hand towel and holding it over his nose.

“What did you expect? Don’t fuck my sister,” Jason said with a shrug.

“We’re dating. What do you think will happen?” You said rolling your eyes.

“Lots,” Roy added and Jason moved to throw another punch before you moved between the pair. You smacked Roy on the back of the head.

“Don’t antagonize him,” you said.

“Baby,” Roy pouted. “I’m still bleeding. Don’t hit me.”

“I can make you bleed more. Keep talking,” Jason threatened.

“Okay, Jason we’ll meet you at lunch after we change, okay?” You said. He glared at Roy one last time before nodding in agreement.

“Don’t test me, Harper. I’m debating if I want to kick your ass still,” Jason said walking to the door. “And for god sake put on a shirt.”

After the door closed, Roy turned to you and pulled you close by the waist. “Wanna have some fun before we meet him for lunch,” he asked kissing your neck. You pulled back.

“Not a chance. I’ve got to put makeup on these marks already,” you said. Roy pouted. “Plus Jason will just know and kick your ass.”

Roy nodded and moved to find clothing.

[jeonfiles]

better left unsaid - jjk

genre: angst, rebounds

pairings: jungkook x reader (ft. namjoon)

warnings: arguing, alcohol, profanity, break ups, light smut, use of drugs, jungkook is a fucking dick, jungkook has major attachment issues, toxic relationships, oc cries a lot, namjoon has a heart of gold, unrequited love

synopsis: you knew you shouldnt have given him that second chance, not the third or the fourth either. no matter how much you try he always slithers his way underneath your sheets, arms wrapped around you.

word count: 2.7k

music: into your arms, so it ends?, you will fade, thinkin bout you, julia, my insecurities not yours, fuck u, goodluck, my dear i will think of you

note: uhh ive never written a y/n fic so bare with me, if u listen to the music you’ll be able to feel the story a lot more so yeah if u have time u should, not proof read

Light coming through the cracks of the blinds, making you squint your eyes when the daylight beams into your eyes, head resting on the kitchen island Looking up, you saw the clock ticking on the wall, 11:32 am.

You had stayed up till 5 am, waiting for him to come home, but seemingly, he never did. Reaching for your phone, you saw 4 missed calls from the one and only,

Jeon Jungkook, saved in your phone as “Koo <3″, Rows of messages too, all from the same contact.

Koo <3 [05:34 am]

baby pkck me up pleseee

im so wsated

Koo <3 [06.46am]

dont be mad at me jsut pick me up

i dont knw hewere the fuck i am

i love you

Koo <3 [07:31 am]

i got a rde home i’ll be home by 12

i need to talk to someone frsit

im sorry if i woke ypu dont be worried

You took a few moments to collect your thoughts, but there wasn’t much to collect. This whole thing, was a routine by now.

Standing up to make yourself a cup of coffee, you could literally not feel your own backside, you were so sore from the barstool you had been sitting on all night, and it made you groan in pain.

Two coffee cups right beside the kitchen sink, which you couldn’t bring yourself to clean up, because it was from the last time you had coffee together, which was 2 weeks ago.

The inside of the cup had a coffee crust at the top, and both your lip tint marks on the outside.

When you finish your cup of coffee while watching a bad telenovela, you go sit in your favorite chair and pull out a few books from the backpack hanging on the chair next to you, getting ready to get some studying done.

For a few seconds you imagine Jungkook hanging over your shoulder laughing at the way you write your A-s and R-s, or the way you always sign your homework at the bottom of the page.

And when you open them, there’s no one there. The only sound is from the refrigerator, making refrigerator noises.

You had met Jungkook 3 years ago, when you were at college orientation, senior year of high school. He also wanted to attend Yonsei, just like you.

And when he whispered to you about how bored he was, you couldn’t help but giggle, and then you got yelled at.

It was worth it though, because everyone was jealous of you afterwards,the  Jeon Jungkook had talked to you.

Jungkook was an all-rounder as they called it; great physique, intelligent, charismatic and great at sports.

And god, he had a beautiful face, and such a filthy mouth, and it didn’t go long before you gave in to his seductive ways and slept with him. The morning after, he wasn’t in bed with you, and your heart sank.

Luckily, he was in the kitchen making you breakfast.

It was all bliss from there, showering you with love, gifts and kisses for two years, and you even ended up moving in together.

And now? You barely remember what he sounds like, smells like and is like.

A distant memory, just as distant as him.

Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted as you heard 3 knocks on your door. The exact same way he had always knocked when he had forgotten (or lost) his keys.

And even though you should have let him suffer a little, you rushed to the door to open it, and in front of you, was your biggest nightmare.

It was your love, crying his eyes out, bleeding from one of many cuts on his face, looking nearly dead. He collapsed into your arms, and you could only utter a few words, along the lines of:

“How could you do this to us?”

As he was laying curled up in a ball on the couch, face plastered up, ice bag on his knee, wrapped up in a blanket, you realized. this was your que to cry.

So, you did. You cried in silence, sitting across the room from him. You weren’t mad at him for coming home late, or getting in another fight, probably the 5th just these past months, you had gotten used to that by now.

There was a whole other reason that made you cry.

He smelled like Victorias Secret Bombshell, you recognized the scent because it used to be your favorite,  however, now you’ve moved onto something less sweet, and more elegant, like Caroline Herrera.

He smelled like someone who wasn’t you, his girlfriend.

He smelled like another girl.

It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe because the Jungkook that had come home to you that morning wasn’t your Jungkook.

Your Jungkook was varsity jackets, star of the american football team (which your school was known for), selfless and humorous, and he would always take care of you.

Your Jungkook was not ungroomed hair, cigarettes and worsening grades. He was not cold and lifeless, and he would never make you cry.

Despite this, you were carding your fingers though his hair, thumb wiping away the blood on his lips while he was sound asleep as you slowly fell asleep next to him.

Maybe it was time to let him go. 

Maybe.

You woke a few hours later from your phone vibrating.

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:01 pm]

Hey Y/N! Have you started working on the statistics assignment?

If you haven’t, would you be interested in meeting at the library tomorrow? You’re really smart and i’m kinda struggling ://

You [07:03 pm]

i finished it yesterday, but if you buy me coffee i’ll come help you hehe

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:04 pm]

You’re the best, I’ll bring you a machiatto!! :D

Maybe it would be nice for you to get out of the house, even though you hate the thought of it, and you would much rather just swim in your own sorrow.

But you did go out the next day, and you helped Namjoon get a decent grade, enough to pass with good margines, he thanked you by taking you out for ramen at a convenial store not too far away.

You thanked him for the ramen with a trip to the museum, and he thanked you for the museum trip with a picnic in the park at night, which led you to crying over Jungkook in his embrace, telling him every single little detail.

He made you realize it was time to let Jungkook go and make room for new people to enter your life.

You went home that night, and you found Jungkook passed out on the couch, and you could genuienly feel your chest tighten. Soft features which stood out under the moonlight glow, disheveled brown locks which hung down in his eyes.

He was gorgeous, until you saw the credit card on the table next to three bottles of soju and an empty beer can on the floor. And you knew what he had used the credit card for, though you didn’t want to say it out loud.

You cleaned everything up, and you threw the residue of the white powder right in the trash can, and you recycled his bottles and cans before finally, nudging him to wake up.

“Jungkook, wake up.” You spat coldly, or at least you attempted to.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes before opening his eyes, and s huge smile on his face. “Y/N, you’re home!” He reached to kiss you, but you backed away.

“Y/N?” Jungkook questioned, he didn’t quite understand what your intentions were.

“Don’t try anything Jungkook. This was your last chance, and you fucked it up, again.” The room turned ice cold. “I’m getting you help Jungkook, you need help. And then...”

He understood what kind of help you meant, and since he had now sobered up, he agreed, nodding. “And then...?” 

“And then.” Your words were ludged in your throat. “And then I’m leaving you.”

His whole face dropped, smile turned into the frowniest frown you had ever seen, and it was all silent before his lower lip starts trembling, and his eyes start turning glassy.

“It’s alright. Sorry for burdening you.” Was all he could say before tears rushed down his cheeks, and he started shaking.

So you did what you always had done, and you wrapped your arms around him, head resting on your chest as he sobbed.

“Is there anyone else?” he cried out before another wave of sobs hit him.

This exact question made your stomach hurt, and your throat burn. You really had no idea.

Or you did, but you didn’t want to.

You loved Jungkook so much, but you couldn’t be with him in this state. So you did what every rational person would do in this situation.

“Yeah.”

You lied.

“Oh ok. I don’t have the right to be mad do I?”

You shake your head no.

“I love you Y/N. I’m sorry I’m so messed up.”

“It’s ok.” was all he said before he fell asleep in your arms again.

That night you slither your way out of his embrace and you pack your suitcase in the dark, bringing all your essentials, trying to be as quiet as possible so you didn’t wake Jungkook.

Packing enough for two weeks or so, you make the bed and leave your t-shirt “accidentally” in the bathroom, and you make sure all his clothes are folded, and then you sort his pencil case, throwing out old pens and worn out erasers.

You leave a grocery list on the counter, and you tuck him in good under the blankets after you took his jeans and socks off so he could sleep comfortably.

You placed his vitamins and medicine by the refrigerator so he’ll see it when he goes to grab something to eat. 

Puffed up pillows, a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and underwear is now placed neatly on his bed. Then you walk into the kitchen again, and you see Jungkook still sound asleep, sniffling a little still.

There’s one last thing, and it makes you cry. It makes you sob so loud you cover your mouth and muffle the sound you make. Sinking to the floor, your whole body is in contact with the cold tiles.

Only a year ago you could never imagine yourself even shedding a single tear over something as small as this, but here you were, on the edge of a panic attack.

Two worn out, matching couple mugs still placed by the counter. one if the first things you two had bought together, as well as the necklace hanging around your neck.

Finally, you stopped crying and started cleaning the mugs, lip trembling as you dried them and placed them in the back of the cabinet.

You unhooked your necklace and laid it down on the counter, and the biggest lump formed in your throat.

Actually, there’s a little detail you forget. 

You kiss Jungkook on the forehead and leave a note on the coffee table.

“Dear Jungkook,

If you want to make this up to me (this does not mean a new chance!!) you call the number at the bottom of the page. No matter what happens, I’ll always have room for you in my heart. You even have your own little VIP lobby in there. And - if it’s urgent, call. I still care for you, and I always have. You were the best boyfriend I’ve had, but good things always come to and end, don’t they? Anyways, I’m tired so this letter fucking sucks, but deep down you know how much I love you. Remember to get groceries, shower, get fresh air and study. If I forgot something you can keep it, as long as you call the number and tell them you’re my friend. They’ll help you love. Try and get a part time job too, your student loan and your dad’s money won’t last forever. Good luck Koo. Hwaiting!!

-L/N Y/N <33″

You cringe when you think of the letter’s contents, before you roll out your suitcase out of the front door, whispering a faint “Goodnight Love.” as you close and lock the door behind you.

Standing by the elevator, you cry again. This time, louder, but you still reach for your phone and type out a text to the newly edited contact in your phone.

You [02:13 am]

coming outside now, im a crying mess and im super cold, is your car heated?

sorry for making you wait btw :((

Joonie <3 [02:13 am]

dont worry about the crying part, i’ll hold you. and yeah car is heated, so waiting here wasnt all that bad. you ready for this?

You  [02:14 am]

i have no idea but i cant stay here any longer and i trust you sooo

lets start our new chapter. eh?

4 months later...

He had been good to you, great even.

You had been on expensive dates, picnics, had heart to heart conversations, and he’d been so understanding.

Today, it was your 2 month anniversary, and he had asked you on a magnificent date, which he had planned every second of.

At the end of the day, you told him how you don’t love him. He said it was alright. Namjoon loved you, so much, yet he understood you needed time.

You went to sleep that day, warm in Namjoon’s embrace, wondering how Jungkook was doing. 

You felt bad, but you missed Jungkook.

You were both with someone new now, and you knew he was in good hands with someone stable enough to care for him.

Before your eyes closed shut, you shed a few quiet tears and hoped that you’d fall in love with Namjoon soon, and deep down you knew you would.

[theunstuffedpepper]

I saw this side-by-side comparison showing how a person’s organs move around to make room for baby and just.. wow. Our bodies are incredible.

I got the Moderna booster on Monday! Aside from a sore arm and a persistent headache, the side effects for me weren’t too bad. I also had some serious fatigue and nausea, but I’m so used to living with those things, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the booster. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I took some Tylenol finally yesterday because that headache was kicking my ass. I typically try to take nothing while I’m pregnant, but it is what it is. I needed it. I also signed off work at 5:01pm knowing I was leaving some things for myself for the next day, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. Such exhaustion.

After falling asleep on the couch yesterday by 8pm, I just gave in to it and was tucked in bed at 8:30. I slept like a damn rock (thank you, pep and b!) and I feel so much more refreshed this morning.

Christmas update (warning - this may get long and ranty!): we had decided on sleeping at my MIL’s house while we’re in NJ over the holiday rather than sleeping at my parents’. We stay at my parents’ house every year and this year has been particularly hard for my MIL, so we thought she could use the company. My mom did not take that well (as expected) when I told her over the phone. Even after we hung up, several hours later, I got a one-word text from her: “Wow.” …really? This doesn’t need to be so dramatic. Needless to say, I didn’t answer.

Two nights ago, I missed a call from my mom and she left a voicemail about Christmas Eve timing. I ended up working til I went to bed, basically, so I didn’t call back. Last night my mom asks me to call her because she’s fretting over Christmas Eve timing, still, for who knows what reason. I call and tell her it doesn’t matter to us. She then also informs me that my brother, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend’s 7yo daughter were uninvited from a big family get-together on Sunday, the day after Christmas. Immediately I knew it was because they’re the only ones not vaccinated and the word “good” popped out of my mouth. Oops. “What did you just say? Good??” …yeah. Again, oops. But I explained that I also am not comfortable with it and if they make the decision (or indecision) to not get vaccinated, they have to also understand that it is going to make some people uncomfortable.

My mom then goes on a rant about my brother and his girlfriend getting COVID in august and according to her google research, antibodies from being infected last 8 months, so he’s “more protected than she is right now!” since she got vaxxed back in March and hasn’t bothered to get boosted. I just cannot with these conversations, y’all. I can’t. My brother is diabetic, and that’s why he says he doesn’t wanna get vaxxed. If anything, that makes him immunocompromised and he had even more reason to get vaxxed before rolling the dice, deciding to just “wait and see”, and then get COVID at a concert. Of course because it wasn’t a severe case it only reinforces his (and my mom’s) ignorance. “It was barely a cold!” I told my mom to tell that to the hundreds of thousands of (sometimes perfectly healthy) people who ended up on ventilators or worse. She must regret asking me to call, huh? 😁

At this point, I’m already so done, guys. Oh, and ALSO. My aunt and cousin are sick with what my mom says is “phlarengitis” - whether she means laryngitis or pharyngitis, I don’t know, and it doesn’t much matter. They’re hosting the family get-together on Sunday so now we have to decide whether to go. Of course we’re leaning heavily toward no, but it’s breaking my heart, because it’s the only time for quite a while that I’ll get to see my grandmother who is visiting from Florida, and might be the only chance for her to meet pep. I also was stoked for my aunt and uncle to meet him, which they haven’t yet. This situation is so, so frustrating and depressing. I could scream.

After all that, I’m trying my darndest to still enjoy pep’s first Christmas as much as we possibly can. I wanna make great memories with him and see him rip into his presents. We’re going to make the best of it.. it just may look different than we had hoped.

I hope you all are dealing with less Christmas/holiday drama than this, although I know this stupid virus affects us all. Today’s my last working day until Tuesday, so time to get to it.

[crackheadgeminibby]

better for you

pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader

warnings: age gap, angst, language

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform

not my picture

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.

You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.

As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.

You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.

You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.

Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.

You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.

But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.

You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??

It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.

So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.

A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.

Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?

You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,

“Hello?”

You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”

You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”

“Have you watched the news today?”

You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”

Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”

You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?

“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”

You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.

You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.

chris💙, 11:01pm:

Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍

You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.

You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.

You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.

When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.

You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.

When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.

You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.

5 missed calls

12 messages

You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.

You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.

will, 7:31am:

When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?

you, 7:32am:

i didn’t

yet

will, 7:32am:

You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?

You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.

you, 7:33am:

as you should(:

You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.

chris💙, 5:22am:

Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.

I’m so sorry

Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.

You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.

As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.

You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.

You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.

chris💙, 6:15pm:

I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.

Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?

You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.

you, 6:17pm:

i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning

As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.

chris💙, 6:17pm:

Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?

Can I call you?

You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.

you, 6:18pm:

i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry

chris💙, 6:18pm:

Okay, I’m sorry

Good night

You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.

You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.

You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.

You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.

You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.

You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.

As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.

When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.

As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”

Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”

“Ow… What the fuck?”

You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.

“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”

Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.

“What are you even doing here?”

Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”

You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,

“So, London seemed to be very fun.”

Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”

Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”

You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”

“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”

Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”

You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”

Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.

“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”

Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”

“What way?”

You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”

Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”

Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”

Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”

He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”

You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”

“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”

You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”

“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”

You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”

“And, baby, I’m sorry.”

You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”

Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”

Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,

“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”

Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”

[myhockeyworld87]

What Happens in Vegas...Doesn’t Always Stay There - Jacob Markstrom - Part 1

Word Count: 4,885

POV: Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Language, Smut, Drinking (all the good stuff)

Notes: Well here it is the new fic that’s been in my head. I tossed around a couple different guys for this, but some of you suggested Marky and well looks like it stuck. Trying to do this a little different and keep this in an all read POV, so we shall see how that works. I don’t see this being super long maybe between 5 or 6 parts. Hope you guys enjoy. As always feedback is welcome. Happy Reading!

They say that New York is the city that never sleeps but whoever 'they' is, well, they got it wrong. It has to be Vegas. Lights are always flashing whether you were indoors or out, the jangly sound of slot machines can be heard at all hours and the seven deadly sins seem to be on full display twenty-four hours a day. It's no wonder their tagline for years was 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' If only that were true.

You wish you could blame someone else but you can't. Vegas was all your idea. As maid of honor, it fell to you to plan your best friend's bachelorette party, and in your mind, there was only one spot, Vegas. Now, you were second-guessing your choice as your head was pounding like there were a thousand drummers who decided to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show, only in your brain. There was only one thought that made it through the marching band playing in your head. What the hell happened last night?

 Maybe you should start off small, like where were you first, considering that the little drummer boy was now doing backflips in your head. You were definitely in bed, which was evident as you could feel the mattress underneath you. You could also feel the duvet comforter covering your body, but there was something else. Something a bit heavier, almost as if a weighted blanket was covering your stomach and your breast, but it wasn't that. It was an arm slung across your midsection and a very large hand cupping your one boob. God, you hoped it was still attached to a body. You should really take a peek. It would be the only decent thing to do.

 As you gradually lifted one eyelid open, the first thing you noticed was that you were not in your hotel room, as the wall looked completely different. No reason to panic, you told yourself. Everything would come back to you as soon as this god blessed pounding ceased. Peering the other eye open, you got back to business at seeing if there was a body attached to the arm currently trapping you to the bed. Carefully, you turned your head to the side to see a very large and very naked man firmly attached to the aforementioned arm. He was gorgeous as he lay there sleeping ever so peacefully. You drank in his features, kind of like you downed drink after drink last night. His brown hair had this golden hue to it that made your fingers want to reach out and touch it, though you refrained. Then there was the beard covering his face, not too much and not too little, and now that you were thinking about it; you definitely felt some of that beard burn on your thighs. If you could only remember last night. The only logical thing to do was to go back to the start of this, back to a time when you were sober.

 It started months ago when your best friend Kennedy got engaged. You honestly didn't see it coming that fast. She'd only been dating Ryan for a little less than a year, but he asked and she said yes, and when she asked you to be her maid of honor you screamed and laughed and cried, and told her you couldn't wait to plan her bachelorette party. Everyone knew the bridal shower was only for boring stuffy old aunts so that they could buy her the latest air fryer or new dish pattern. The bachelorette party was where all the fun was, and what better place to have it than Las Vegas.

 Of course, everyone agreed with you. The only wrench in the plan was that Kennedy decided to up her wedding date and make it a nine-month engagement. That barely left time to find a dress let alone plan the most outrageous bachelorette party of the century. You would've said decade but twenty-twenty was fastly approaching. Thankfully, you had connections. Night one was more sedate since you all were just arriving at the MGM hotel at different times; eleven of you in total when Ryan's sister decided to join at the last minute. You booked a private room at Lago in the Bellagio for all of you to enjoy.

 It was the second night, that was the piece de resistance. A limo picked you all up and took you over to Excalibur to see the legendary Australian group, Thunder from Down Under. I mean what was Vegas without seeing a male stripper or two. The next day, a private bungalow was waiting for you at Wet Republic in the MGM Hotel. One would've thought the night watching men strip naked would've been your undoing but apparently, it all started poolside.

 "I seriously can't believe he pulled you up on stage and proceeded to dry hump you up there," Kelsey rehashed.

 "Really, Kels?" Kennedy said downing another mimosa. "How could you not see that happening? (Y/N) has known Nate for a couple years. I mean he did get us front row tickets." This was all true. Nate, the emcee for Thunder from Down Under and you were friends, had been since your firm had done their calendar shoot two years ago. He had generously given you prime seating to the show that night and also set you up with a few other perks for the trip. "The only thing I'm surprised at, is that this one," she bumped you with her hip, spilling both hers and your mimosas. "Didn't end up going home with him last night."

 "Oh my god, Kenny you did not just say that." She may be the bride and your best friend but really, she was pushing the line.

 "Come on, it's not like it hasn't happened before."

 At least four pairs of eyes turned towards you, Ryan's sister Gretchen being one of them. "Ok, admittedly, I slept with him, once." Both Kennedy and Kelsey gave you that look. "Ok, maybe it was twice, but he has a girlfriend now, and we are just friends."

 "I'll give you that," Jade spoke up in your defense and suddenly she was going to earn the title of new best friend, not that the lines weren't blurred in your little group as you were all sort of best friends. "But what about Edward, the one with the turtle tattoo on his hip."

 "You were so looking at more than his hip." Eva teased while Jade simply hid behind her champagne glass. "But yeah (Y/N), he was totally hitting on you."

 "He was not."

 "Oh, he was," Kennedy added her two cents. "And as the bride I take offense, they should've been hitting on me."

 "Wait, why would they hit on you?" Jade sputtered. "You're taken bitch." Of course, bitch was said in the most loving way.

 "I'm not dead."

 "No, but I'm sure my brother wouldn't appreciate it." Leave it to Gretchen to be the mood killer. "I think I'm going to go take a nap. I'll meet you at the pool later."

 She headed out the door, and honestly, you were ecstatic about it, for she was too judgmental for your liking.  "Wait, Gretch, that's not what I meant."

 "Leave her go, maybe a nap would do her good." They were Jade's words but your sentiments. "Now back to why (Y/N) did not take that beautiful man up on his offer last night."

 "There was no offer," you insisted.

 "Come on (Y/N), there was an offer. There's always an offer. Remember when you were doing promo for that Batman flick." You tried to shut Kennedy up with a death glare, but she continued to prattle on. "We all know you ended up doing the nasty with Superman."

 "WHAT?!?!" Yeah, that definitely came out of the other nine people's mouths in the room.

 "Thanks, Ken. No one knew that but you."

 "Oops, my bad." She had the grace to at least be embarrassed about the whole thing.

 "You mean you slept with that guy, the British one, tall, all muscular, extremely good looking. Damn it what's his name." You could see Eva wracking her brain for his name and you just didn't want to go there.

 "Hen…"

 "Yes, him," you admitted, stopping Jade before she could finish his name. "Can we please change the subject?"

 "Why, when we are all living vicariously through you," Kelsey added. "Especially poor Kennedy, who is now committed to spending the rest of her life with one man."

 "Geez, you make it sound like a death sentence. I love Ryan and I'm perfectly fine spending the rest of my days with him."

 You had to suppress an eye roll. Not because you didn't think that Ryan and Kennedy weren't in love. If you were being honest, you just thought they were rushing things a bit. The problem was telling your best friend that; you tried in the past and never succeeded. "We know you're in love Kenny." And then because you couldn't stop yourself, you added. "It's just are you sure you want to be tied down so young? We still have our whole life to live."

 "Jesus, (Y/N). We all know you're not ready for marriage and what comes with it, but we can't all be you with your fancy job in LA, meeting celebrities all the time. Some of us have real lives and want to settle down and have a family."

 "Kenny, that's not what I meant." The last thing you wanted to do was argue with her at her bachelorette party. "I only want you to be happy."

 "You have a funny way of showing it." The air in the room took on a chill and not from the air conditioning. If you didn't do something soon this party was going to go downhill.

 "Oh, would you look at the time," Jade chimed in. "We should probably be heading down to the pool." Everyone grabbed their stuff, Kennedy giving you the cold shoulder as you made your way out of the hotel suite. Jade came up and wrapped an arm around you. "She'll be fine. She's just on edge after the whole Gretchen thing. We'll give her a few shots and you two will be good as new."

 "I hope so." Unfortunately, things weren't fine. Kennedy seemed to avoid you and your attempt to make things right, even after a few shots. That didn't stop you from taking a few more. You had a strict one drink to one water rule, that you threw out the door today. Downing shots like it was your job. It was probably an hour later when you were in one of the private pools, with a few of the girls that a large group of very attractive men walked in. They were definitely different from Nate and the guys from Thunder, and at first, you thought it was some fraternity get together with how young some of them looked, but at second glance there were some gentlemen that were your age or older.

 "They've gotta be baseball players," Eva whispered over after they took up residence in the three bungalows next to you.

 "Nah, none of them have a dad bod." Jade was right, they were too fit to be in the MLB. You'd been around enough major leaguers to know while some were incredibly in shape, some were not. That didn't seem to be the case with this group.

 "I'm gonna rule out NFL as well," you told the girls. "None of these guys look like they're an offensive guard. Those guys are huge." You noticed a few of them staring at the six of you that were in the smaller pool reserved only for the bungalows. Grabbing another shot, this had to be your fourth in just sixty minutes, you downed the drink really starting to feel its effects.

 "Looks like we may just find out here," Jade said, nodding to let you know some of the guys were headed your way.

 "Ladies, care if we join you?" One of the men asked, you had to admit he was extremely handsome but also gave off an air that he had more than a few notches in his bedpost.

 A couple of the girls nodded, but when no one said anything, you found yourself saying, "Come on in."

 "So, what brings you to Vegas?" This from a different guy, who had quite a number of tattoos covering his arms, and you had to admit that the ink just made him more attractive, that and his height. He was well over six feet tall and you didn't mind looking up to see his face as he took the seat next to you.

 "Bachelorette party," Jade blurted out and you saw a few eyebrows raise.

 "Tell me you're not the bride?" His breath was warm or maybe it was the sun, either way, you definitely felt a warmth in your belly that wasn't there moments ago.

 "I am definitely not the bride." Shit that sounded desperate. "Though I am the maid of honor, at least I hope I still am." You looked inside the bungalow to see Kennedy in deep conversation with Gretchen.

 "Hmm, sounds like there's a story there. Care to tell me? I'm Jacob by the way, though the guys call me Marky."

 He held out his hand, the one that didn't have a beer in it, and you took it. "(Y/N), and I'll tell you though it's rather dull, on one condition." He quirked a brow at you. "You tell me what sport you play."

 He chuckled. "What makes you think I play a sport? Maybe I'm an investment banker."

 "Well, first there's your accent, though I suppose you could pull off investment banker with that. Second, you are all…how shall I say this…physically fit. A quality most athletes have and considering the number of you; I doubt this is some kind of investment banker convention."

 "Ok, I'll give you that, though we could be bodybuilders or…" the lights on the billboard on the strip changed to a Thunder From Down Under ad and you saw a light bulb in his head go off. "Or male strippers." Shit, you almost spit your drink out on that one. "What, too much a stretch? Maybe it's your lucky day." He started to sway his hips in the pool, one of his friends joining him while you and Jade tried to contain your laughter.

 "Nah, it's already been (Y/N)'s lucky day with them. She knows them all rather intimately."

 "Jade!" you yelled at your friend, or ex-friend, though you weren't in a position to be losing anymore at the moment.

 "Oops." She at least had the decency to look embarrassed. Alcohol made everyone do some crazy things and Jade was no exception to the rule.

 "Intimately huh?" Jacob asked as you splashed water on Jade causing her to shriek and hide behind Jacob's friend who you learned was someone named Erik. "Have I lost the competition before it even starts?"

 "There's no competition."

 "So, you're single then?"

 "Yes, though you still haven't answered my question." As soon as Jacob heard you say yes, he slid a little closer to you.

 "What was that question again?" He said with laughter in his eyes and before you could get annoyed with him, though you doubted that would happen, he added. "I remember, just giving you a hard time. Anyhow, we play hockey."

 "Oh, nice. Like professional level? Or are there minors in that sport?" You really weren't one hundred percent sure. You'd taken in a game here and there but not really paid any particular attention to it.

 "We're in the NHL, playing for Vancouver. Just came out to do a little team bonding before the season starts. So, are we going to talk about this intimate encounter or why you think your maid of honor duties are getting revoked?"

 "I think I need another drink to talk about either of them."

 Jacob flagged down one of the personal waitresses for the area, requesting a couple of shots and drinks for you both, and you had to admit you liked the way he worked. "Now that that's taken care of…"

 You blew out a frustrated breath, more with yourself than anything else. "I said something stupid right before we came down here." He kept silent, his eyes totally focused on you and what you were saying. A refreshing change from some of the men you spoke to. "I just think she's rushing into things. They've only known each other a year and we are too young to get married. She's only twenty-five, we have our whole lives ahead of us. You know?" He simply nodded his agreement before you continued. "I want to see the world, go places, and do things before I'm strapped down to one man forever. Not to mention being tied down with kids. How can Kenny not want that too?"

 "I totally agree. I've gotten to see a lot with hockey but there's no way I want to be tied down just yet."

 "Exactly, you totally get me." Your drinks arrived then and Jacob took one shot and handed it to you before taking the other.

 "Well, I say we toast to being young and free with no commitments."

 "I'll drink to that." He clinked his glass to yours and the two of you downed the drinks. It seemed like the DJ noticed the change in your mood, as the music got louder and the energy seemed to kick up a notch. You got up and started to dance in the pool; the other girls joining in. It wasn't long before you felt Jacob behind you. His hips grinding into your backside, as his large hands encircled your waist.

 Drinks flowed freely the entire day, and if you were being honest, you couldn't remember a time you'd been that drunk before the sun had even set. You were laughing and dancing, and quite literally having the time of your life; your maid of honor duties completely forgotten at this point. Gretchen came up to you at some point and told you that she, Kennedy, and Kelsey were heading up and would catch up with the rest of you later. Everyone else was having too much fun with the Canucks to want to leave.

 A few more drinks and an hour later, the party was winding down. Most of your friends had headed up to their room to pass out, only a few stayed behind. Jacob had somehow maneuvered you into one of the bungalows that was empty. You shared a few kisses here and there out in the pool area, but now that you were out of view of prying eyes things were getting a bit more heated. Jacob's hands were on your ass, as his tongue was down your throat; not that yours wasn't doing the same thing to him. He moaned into your mouth, the sound going straight to your core. Your bikini bottom was no longer wet from the water of the pool, but the press of Jacob's cock against it.

 You both stumbled back, landing down on the large daybed in the bungalow, though somehow Jacob's reflexes softened your fall. His hands went straight to your breasts, kneading the flesh there. He was just about to untie the string of your bikini top when someone walked in. "Jesus, Marky! Take it upstairs would you!" You squinted trying to make out who it was but at this point not remembering anyone's name besides the man that was on top of you.

 "Oh, shit…thought I was in my room." It was funny, you thought the same thing. "Sorry, Jay."

 "His name is Jay? Like the letter?" you mumbled as Jacob helped you off the couch. "What comes after J?" Fuck you were drunk and when you were drunk you tended to ramble. You once actually talked to a damn parking meter because you thought it was a person, and you were pretty sure you could talk to one now if there was one around.

 "Doesn't matter, babe," Jacob said kissing your lips. "Wanna head up to my room?"

 You had to go up on your tiptoes to loop your arms around his neck. "Yes, I do." He planted a kiss on your lips then cupped your ass cheeks causing you to jump a bit.

 "Let's go," he finally said breaking the kiss. You had enough sense to grab your things and tell your friends not to worry that you'd catch up with them tomorrow. They all winked and nodded or at least that's what it looked like in your head because that's when things started to get hazy. You had vague recollections of making your way through the casino, stopping here and there. Part of you thought that the two of you even stopped to play roulette only so you could have another drink.

 You did remember tumbling through the door of Jacob's suite. His lips were on yours and neither of you were paying attention as he unlocked it. Thankfully his quick reflexes caught you; apparently, even when drunk, goalies couldn't lose some of those natural instincts.

 His hands, you remember them being everywhere on your body, and how incredible they made you feel. His calloused touch lit a fire inside you, that had nothing to do with the alcohol. He rid you of your white swim cover-up easily, flinging the garment across the room, and then his lips were all over your body. It was easy to recall the way he made you feel, as he softly bit down on your nipple through the fabric of your bikini. You'd craved this all afternoon. It had been a couple months since you'd been with a man and Jacob was everything you'd been waiting for.

 You ripped off his shirt. Your hands immediately going to his chest and roaming down his tattooed arms. He was all muscle, hard and lean everywhere, but when you slid your hand down inside his swim trunks to his cock; oh, it was hard all right, but lean was not a word you'd used to describe it. You were barely able to wrap your fingers around his girth, and as you stroked him, you realized God had not only blessed him with height but length as well. The man was made to star in a porno, you thought as you shoved his trunks down.

 Somehow, during that time Jacob had managed to get your bikini top off, though you supposed with its simple string ties it wasn't a hard feat to manage. You dropped to your knees, licking your lips before taking your tongue and swirling it around the head of Jacob's cock. "Det kanns sa bra min vackra prinsessa (that feels so good my beautiful princess)." Jacob's mumblings had you pulling back and looking up at him. "Don't stop, baby." This time you knew what he said as you slowly sucked him into your mouth. There was no way that you could take him all in, so you pumped the rest of him with your fist. You hollowed out your cheeks as you sucked him inside, using every trick in the book you knew. Jacob muttered more in Swedish to you, things you had no clue as to what they meant, but judging by his reaction they were things he was enjoying very much. He threaded his hands through your hair, pulling it back so you could look up at him with big doe eyes. "Jesus," he swore, his hips bucking into your mouth at the sight of you with his cock in it, looking like that. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out shouting," Tillrackligt, enough. I think you're trying to kill me, princess."

 There was something about the way he called you princess. It wasn't anything you'd been called before and most times you'd preferred babe or baby, but the way the word rolled off his tongue did things to your insides.

 Jacob helped you off the ground, his lips ghosting over yours before picking you up and tossing you onto the bed. His large form handled you easily, arranging your body just the way he wanted to before slipping off your bikini bottoms. His large hands worked their way from your ankles to your calves, all the way up to your thighs; spreading your legs as he went. "So beautiful." He traced his fingers lightly over your pussy lips and you quivered in anticipation of what was to come. One long finger slid between your folds all the way up to your clit, once, then twice, and then once again. "So wet, prinsessa, and all because of me."

 "Mmm, yes, Jacob." He dipped that same finger inside you then. The digit slipping in easily and so he added another. Then his mouth was there. Tongue flicking over your clit in a way that made you squirm with pleasure. "Oh yes," you moaned, caught up in the pleasure that was coursing through your veins. "Just like that." Your hips lifted up on their own accord, seeking more of what this giant of a man was doing to you. Jacob never let up, making a come-hither motion with his fingers and you found yourself unraveling around him; legs shaking, breath panting as your orgasm overtook you.

 “So pretty when you cum, prinsessa.” He pulled his fingers from your pussy then brought them to your lips. You opened without any thought, licking your juices off of them. Before you could get them clean, Jacob’s mouth joined yours, kissing you while you sucked on his index and middle fingers. Your tongues mingled together, as Jacob positioned himself between your thighs. The head of his cock nudged between your folds and you sighed into his mouth at just that first touch. Slowly, he filled your pussy, until he bottomed out. Only then did he release your lips. “Fuck you feel so good.”

 Jacob loved the feel of you clenching around him. It felt like he was in heaven. Part of him didn’t even want to move that’s how good your body felt, but then you shifted your hips up just a hair bit and he had to suck in a breath at the pleasure that went straight to his groin for fear he would spend inside you right then and there. He willed his body under control and only then started to move.

 With every snap of Jacob’s hips, a wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your nails raked down his back, probably leaving marks, but it seemed to only spur him on. “Yes, Prinsessa,” he moaned out, as you bent your knees allowing him to go deeper. You moaned as he hit that treasured spot that had you seeing stars. “You like that?” Another moan was his answer, as he continued to fuck you.

 That peculiar feeling started to wash over you. Your pussy fluttering around Jacob’s cock as the orgasm finally broke. Back arching, legs trembling, you were moaning out his name as the climax seemed to continue, as Jacob drove wildly into you. As you came down off your high, Jacob found his. With a few erratic thrusts, he was spending deep inside you with a loud groan. He slumped forward, his sweety forehead resting on yours. “Det dar var otroligt.” You looked at him curiously, your brain not working at all but also knowing he was speaking something in Swedish to you. He smiled, a glorious one that you found yourself getting lost in and you found yourself returning it. “I said that was amazing.”

 “Yes, it was,” you breathed out. Jacob rolled you both onto your sides, tucking you into his. It wasn’t long before both of you were passing out.

 Now here you were, finally putting most of the pieces together from last night. You looked back over at the sleeping man, who had given you such pleasure even in your inebriated state. He really was gorgeous. You honestly wouldn’t mind going for round two, after a couple of Tylenol, of course. Speaking of which you needed to get up and see if you had any in your bag. If only you could move him without waking him. You carefully took your right arm and went to move his left which was slung across you, but then something caught your eye. There on his ring finger was a ring. Oh, it wasn’t just any ring, it was a wedding ring! You knew he didn’t have it on when you were in the pool. You were not the type of woman to go hitting on a married man, let alone sleep with him.

 You pulled your other arm out from underneath him, fully intending to grab your stuff and get the hell out of there when you noticed a bright and shiny diamond on your ring finger. There was also a matching wedding band. Then like a tsunami hitting the beach of a small island a memory came flooding back to you of the two of you entering the hotel chapel. This man wasn’t married to just anyone, he was married to you!  

.

[wonderlandhatter]

Comfort in you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x femReader

Summary: You have a cuddly secret that is keeping you up at night, and your solution makes Spencer think you are falling out of love. (sorry that's not a great summary)

Word count:2580

Warnings: I don't think there's any, itsy tinny bit of angst if you squint but just a load of fluff

A/N: To be honest I don't know how I feel about this, I like it but idk. if I missed a warning feel free to tell me and if you have any feedback it is very welcome I am looking to improve my writing. Hope someone enjoys this :).

A/N2: My old account got deleted so I'm just reposting my fics I would appreciate if you could bust this so i could get back to where my account was thank you for your time.

Everyone has a source of comfort, something that makes everything bad disappear even for just a moment. For some it was a hobby and for others it was a person, either way everyone had one, yours just happened to be one most people have had but said people have also left it behind, along with wearing dippers and eating crayons.

You weren’t a child; you weren’t you just found comfort in it. So, what if you were in your twenties and still slept with a plushie who's business is it anyways. You can’t help it you just can’t sleep without it; you've had it since the moment you were born, plus your parents never made a move to take it away when you were younger. So here you are now.

It had never really been an issue, yes, your friends teased you but not in a hurtful way besides you had been friends since primary school, so they didn’t really care, as long as you were happy. Now boyfriends are a whole different story. You hadn't had many so it was never really an issue, you have had 3 in total if one of them even counted I mean it lasted until lunch time and you were 5 and  he wouldn’t  have minded since he also slept with a stuffed animal.

Your second boyfriend was in high school, you were sixteen, you hadn’t even thought about the fact he might find it strange so the first time he came over you didn’t try to hide it, it didn’t go well, he called you a baby and threw it around, and got annoyed at you when you asked him to stop because he was going to damage the plushie, the nerve of the guy. Well that did not last awfully long not just because of the plush but because he was a prick.

And now here you were 23 and dating the wonderful Dr Spencer Reid, you guys have been dating for nearly 8 months, and what amazing 8 months have they been. You owned quite a popular bookshop and that is how you met; he had come in a few times before he was able to muster up the courage to even say hello. He found everything about you wonderful, the way you handled books with such care and how you carried yourself with such grace, (the grace one wavers as in his second visit he witnessed you trip twice, but he just he found it endearing and wonderful). Honestly, he already had a bookshop he had frequented previously but this one had something no other shop could ever have. You, and so he kept coming, and you two kept talking, and talking in the shop lead to talking at the coffee shop, which lead to talking over dinner and then talking for 6 months which may have lead to some activities with some inappropriate talking, and now 8 months later and you have never been happier.

Honestly it’s a miracle you’ve made it 8 months without him finding out about your little secret, it helps that you guys hadn’t started having sex until 2 months ago, neither of you had been in a rush and so took your time, and the first time was wonderful, but that’s a story for another time. Another thing that helped was the fact that he was nearly always on a case, he made time for you, and you understood he had to be away and admired his career choice, it just meant that when you were together most of the time you chose to spend time together, saying that there have been times as soon as Hotch has dismissed him he has gone straight to your apartment and is picking you up and too your room, but what can he say, he is just but a man and you are just but a very hot woman. Thankfully that time he had been so preoccupied with getting his clothes off that you were able to put the plush under your bed without him noticing (you did feel bad about shoving  it under the bed but you had no time he was a man on a mission), you hadn’t been able to sleep that night or any night you had stayed with him, so you stopped staying over even if it was just to sleep..

Now the issue came when Spencer got a couple of weeks off from work around the holidays, so you were off too. And oh boy were you tired it wasn’t that you were doing it like bunnies but you did enjoy time together so you wanted to be together for as long as you could, and you were absolutely loving all the stolen kisses and the reading to each other and arguing who the best doctor is (the sex is very good too), the trouble only came at night when he said you should stay, he  hated you being out by yourself at night, too many cases involving creeps, so you would stay.

But after a few days without sleep you were so exhausted, you started making up excuse to not stay and to stop sex, it worked for a few days until it didn’t.

You had been watching some foreign film Spencer had seemed very excited for, you loved watching these with him, not because you understood what they were saying, it was complete gibberish to you, but you quite enjoying feeling his breath on your neck when he leaned down to whisper the translations for you, he knew there were subtitles and you knew there were subtitles but this turned you on and you both knew it. So, it confused Spencer when after the movie was over and after two hours of whispering and you subtly rubbing your thighs together you yawned and said you should get going.

He would never force you into anything, and would never expect sex from you, but he knew you were turned on and he knew you wanted it, he knew what you looked like when you wanted him, he had seen it enough times, and he loved the sight, but here you were clearly frustrated and about to just leave. Don’t misunderstand Spencer here it isn’t just the leaving clearly horny it’s the not having slept in the same bed for days, he knew you had some trouble sleeping any time you had slept over, he just assumed it was being out of your bed, but you almost always went out of your way to not sleep together in your bed. So, he chose to say something.

“Y/N can we talk”, “oh that seems serious” you replied humorously while tying your laces, until you looked  up and saw his face, “you look upset, did I do something”, you said clearly upset,“ No! no you didn’t do anything, well you did but um ahh, I don’t know how to word this”, this was a first, he always had the words to say, normally he couldn’t stop talking, but right know all he was thinking was how his girlfriend couldn’t stand to be on the same bed as him, and how she was doing what she could to avoid sex, he knew he wasn’t overly experienced but neither was she, but he always made sure she was getting some sort of pleasure, and made it his goal to get you to finish at least twice.

What if you had faked it, what if you were falling out of love, was it all the hours he had to work or was…his thoughts were cut short by you “ Spencer please talk to me, what did I do, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you”, he could see the worry in your face and without thinking he just blurted out “do you not like me anymore”, “ What!!!” you said almost immediately, he could see the confusion in your face but you spoke before he could, “Spencer I love you, why wouldn’t I like you anymore, do you not like me anymore”, he saw the hurt in your eyes as your mind wandered and he couldn’t speak fast enough to stop that train he needed to take that hurt away, “no, no god no I love you too, I love you much it’s just that lately you’ve um, you’re always coming up with reasons to not sleep with me, and I don’t mean sex I mean even just sleep, well you’re also avoiding sex but that’s not the point, I also know you never really sleep when you’re with me and I’m sorry if being that intimate with me makes you uncomfortable, because I can see you were turned on after the movie and you were just going to leave and I just need to know if I make you uncomfortable.”, Spencer spoke so fast you were left there stunned and a little embarrassed at him knowing he turned you on but also you were backed into a corner, you could see the pain in his eyes, he though he made you so uncomfortable you couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him, at the thought of how you hurt him your eyes began to water.

“Spencer I don’t know what”, “please don’t deny it Y/N its been over a week since we slept in the same place” Spencer interrupted before you could get your pathetic attempt of n excuse out, so you were going to come clean, he is going to break up with you was the only thing going through your head but you had to tell him, you hurt him and that was worse.

So you mustered up all the courage you had and looked down because you might cry if you looked at him in the eyes, oh well all your courage could only do so much, “you don’t make me uncomfortable Spencer. You’re wonderful that isn’t why”, spencer interrupted before you could continued, he just needed answers,  “then, why?”, “promise me you won’t laugh at me”, he looked confused how could you ever think he would take your feeling for granted and laugh at them, “of course I won’t” he simply said as he gently pulled your chin up with his hand, he could see your you were nervous and so gave you a kind smile, and did something you two do quite often, he offered up his pinkie, you giggled as you put your pinkies together to make a promise, after your pinkies were separated you looked slightly down again and quickly blurted out “Icantsleepwithoutmyplushieandididntwantyoutoseethatistillneededitandthatswhyicantsleepbesideyouandwhyicantsleepwheniamwithyuo” it was so quickly the flash couldn’t have understood, his confused face was honestly adorable but your adoration was cut off by his very confused “what?”, and so you took a deep breath looked at him, thought over your words for a second and finally said much slower, slightly hesitantly and embarrassed  “ I can’t sleep without a plushie,” you said shyly he smiled softly at this and you continued after a beat “that’ s why I can’t sleep when I’m with you, I didn’t want you to know, I mean I’m in my twenties and still sleep with a toy its pathetic, and after a few days of not sleeping I was exhausted and so I  thought I could just avoid having to sleep without it, I understand if you want to break up or if you want to make fun of me”, you stopped talking when Spencer pulled you in for a quick kiss, “sorry you were spiralling and that’s what you do when I’m spiralling”, he smiled while his face was still only a breath away, you simply nodded and made no move to move.

“So you’re not breaking up with me” you asked shyly, assuming since he had just kissed you, “why on earth would I be breaking up with you”, “because its childish and ridiculous that I can’t sleep without it”, he gently smiled and pulled your chin up to look at him with one hand and held your hand with the other. “it isn’t strange or childish, actually 44% of adults still own a childhood toy and 34% of adults sleep with a stuffed animal, its perfectly normal, and honestly really cute” the last bit made you blush but all together you felt better, “thanks bub”, “what for”, you shrugged an simply said for not making fun of you and with that he pulled you into a hug, and neither made an attempt to move.

And so here you were now in Spencer’s car on your way to your apartment, if you were being honest you were too tired to be as embarrassed as you would have normally been, but he wasn’t  shaming you and all you wanted was to sleep by his side. As you got to your apartment complex you walked hand in hand, made your way inside, and went to your room.

Spencer had been there multiple times before so he had some clothes he could sleep in already there (also you may have stolen a good amount so he could borrow those too), so he put some plaid pyjama bottoms on and a graphic tee and made his way to his side of the bed, you had gone to the bathroom to do your skin care routine and came out in some thin cotton pyjama shorts and one of your (his) old Cal tech sweatshirt, he can’t deny he absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes, to him it is possibly one of the most beautiful things he has and will ever see.

You made your way under the covers and cuddled him, you both shared some lazy kisses and light touches before you stopped so you could sleep, you made an attempt to try an sleep without it but Spencer nudged you and gave you a half amused smiled so you sighed dramatically and stretched over to your bedside table were your plushie was living, as you took it out and made your way back to Spencer’s side you held it close so he couldn’t really see it. He wasn’t really having that though.

What he’s curious he wanted to see it, so with a much more amused smile and looking down at his adorable girlfriends he asked “ can I see it”, “no” you answered almost immediately and in more of a grumble against his chest, “please, you look adorable and it looks really soft, can I please see it”, and so without looking up you not so gently pulled it out from nearly fully under you and pushed it to his chest, and hid your face deeper into him. He gently picked it up and inspected it, you didn’t hear him say anything so you looked up and saw him already looking at you with simply love in his eyes, “what?” you asked slightly confused, he simply kissed you and you understood, no words were needed to explain what he felt.

You picked up the toy and hugged it again and Spencer hugged you, you felt safe, you felt loved and overall, you were happy. Maybe Spencer could be your new comfort source, you would never get rid of your plushie but maybe it wouldn’t be a necessity maybe holding him would be enough. But being honest he already was he was enough; he was more than enough. And with that thought you both drifted off exchanging quiet I love yous.

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Broken Heart - Part 2

Warnings: A little angst at the beginning. Sebastian Stan being a great best friend and a good shoulder to cry on.

Word count: 1244

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting part two, I had some personal issues but everything is taken care of now. Forgive any grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

Part 1 Part 3

It took less than an hour to hear a knock on your door, you open it quickly and see Sebastian standing there, he smiles sympathetically and shows you the two bottles he was holding.

"I brought Wine in case you want to cry and get drunk and Whiskey in case you want to cry, get really drunk and have a huge hangover tomorrow" He says entering your apartment and putting the bottles on the table.

"Which one do you recommend for a horrible ending?" He asks.

"Definitely Whiskey" he replies smiling.

You hug him tightly and start crying again, he wraps his arms around you returning the hug.

"I can't believe he broke up with me".

"Your tears were already staining his shirt, but he didn't care, he just wanted to take care of his best friend.

The two of them met a few years ago, long before you met Tom, and they became best friends almost instantly, they were almost like brothers, always looking out for each other and protecting each other. Sebastian literally threatened to beat Tom if he broke his heart, and frankly he was thinking of keeping this promise right now.

He helps you to sit on the couch and you take the bottle of whiskey, open it quickly and take a big sip, you felt the liquid burn in your throat and hoped it would ease your pain, but it didn't.

"Are you going to take it straight from the bottle? Is that the level of your sadness?" He asked smiling.

"Yes, that's the level of my sadness" she replied before taking another sip and passing the bottle to him who takes a large sip quickly.

"Ok honey, now tell me what really happened?" he asks worriedly.

"Ever since people found out about our relationship it seems like something has been going wrong, I've been called fat, ugly or self-interested all over the internet and people invade my privacy as if it doesn't matter" she passes her hand over her face trying to wipe the tears that were flowing "Don't get me wrong, most of his fans were super sweet to me and said they just wanted to see him happy, but others...they threw so much hate on me that I don't think I believe I can be his girlfriend anymore myself".

"But what exactly led you to break up?"

You recount everything that happened, all those people in front of your work, your boss fighting with you, the scratched car, and the fight with Tom while the two of you practically drank the entire bottle of whiskey.

"He took their side, said something about them just loving him too much, Then of course I said that kind of thing isn't love and said how much they were hurting me and he said it better end so I wouldn't be hurt" you let your head fall back against the couch.

"Y/N" you look at him "Don't think I am defending him, because I am not, I will always stand by you, what those people did to you was horrible and him defending them was even worse, but maybe he broke up with you to try to protect you" He holds your hand.

"Protect me from what?" she asks laughing.

"You said yourself that it was hurting you, maybe he just didn't want to see you get hurt like that anymore".

You laugh at his answer and roll your eyes.

"Y/N I'm serious, look the life of a known person is hard."

"I know, I knew that when we first started dating, that's why we kept it a secret."

"I know Tom loves you, shit, he tried my patience when you guys first met just so I could convince you to go on a date with him. Do you know how hard it is to have this life? It has been months since I have slept with someone, I am afraid to date anyone, I am afraid that this person is only getting involved with me for fame or money or I am afraid that this person really likes me and gets exactly this hate that you are living, it is terrible, if this happened to the woman I love I would probably break up with her to keep her safe. People see this life of fame and think everything is wonderful, but they don't know how painful it is to see someone you love being affected by it.

You lift the bottle and look deep into his eyes.

"Here's to this fucked up life."

He laughs before taking the bottle from your hand and taking a large sip.

"A toast."

•─────✧─────••─────✧─────•

The first thing you notice when you wake up is the unbearable headache, then you realize that you are naked on your bed and there is an arm around your waist. For a short while you think that maybe yesterday was just a dream and you and Tom never had that horrible fight and it didn't end, but some flashes from the night before fill your head and you realize what a shit you've done.

You look over and see Sebastian lying next to you on the bed also without clothes and you scream regretting it seconds later when it affects your headache.

"More shit" he says waking up, he looks at you and seems to realize also what happened last night.

You quickly get out of bed and start to get dressed.

"What did we do? What did we do? What did we do?" you say nervously, pacing from side to side.

Sebastian gets up and gets dressed as well before grabbing her arm and forcing her to stop.

"Honey, calm down ok" he says.

"How can I calm down, we just ruined our 5 year friendship".

"We didn't ruin anything, hey look at me" you look at him and take a deep breath trying to calm down "it was just sex, you were sad because of the man you love and I was needy, we were both drunk and ended up doing it, but we are best friends and we will stay best friends, nothing will change, ok?" He speaks and hugs you tightly.

"Ok" you answer him becoming a little calmer.

Your life managed to change drastically in less than 24 hours, you ended your relationship and ended up having sex with your best friend to console your broken heart. You were proud to say that you weren't dramatic, but you were certainly living in a lot of drama right now.

"Remind me never to drink again, please," you say embarrassed.

"If it's any consolation, you're great in bed, I'm sure Tom will miss it very much" he says laughing and you slap his arm playfully.

"You're unbelievable" you laugh and turn away from him before heading for the bathroom, but before you can get in you stop in front of the door and turn to look at him "Sebastian, I don't remember if we used condoms or not".

He stands thoughtfully for a few seconds before answering.

"We sure did, we were drunk but we are not irresponsible, don't worry about it" he shrugs and you agree with him.

It was just a one night stand, everything would go back to normal. You and Sebastian have been friends for years and this would not affect your lives at all, nothing would change.

Everything was going to be fine.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Here Goes Everything (K.NJ)

Warnings : drug use, alcohol, parties, hook ups, swearing, fwb

Word Count : 3890

Synopsis : he’s too good for her, and she knows that. he’s tall, handsome, smart, kind, everything you could ask for. and she’s addicted to drugs, alcohol and partying. so she settles for fwb with a guy she met at a party, while he begins to fall for the perfect woman.

“You’re going to ruin yourself if you continue like this.” He wasn’t exactly yelling, but his voice was loud and booming as he paced my living room, running his hands through his hair.

           “It’s my life, Joon.” I countered, standing from the couch, and standing in front of him, effectively stopping his pacing. “You’re not my dad and you’re not my boyfriend. So why does it matter what I do?” A soft laugh left his lips as he rolled his eyes.

           “You know what, you’re right. I’m not your boyfriend, I shouldn’t care.” He was gone with the slam of my door. I collapsed back onto my couch, immediately calling Yoongi and telling him to bring the good stuff. Within minutes he was on my couch as we took turns doing lines and shots.

           “I heard Jackson is throwing a party.” He threw out as I rested my head on his shoulder, waiting for the drugs and alcohol to kick in and let me forget Namjoon.

           “Shit, his parties are the best. We invited?” I moved slightly so my chin was resting on his shoulder so I could look at his face. He smirked, showing me his text conversation with Jackson earlier.

           “Of course we are. We’re the life of the party.” I got up from the couch to get changed. I threw on something I knew would get me the attention I craved; a pair of denim shorts that just covered my ass, a black cropped tank top, and a baggy sweater that I stole from Yoongi months ago. I left it unzipped so it would slide off one of my arms, and quickly slid on my comfy heeled combat boots. “Who you trying to impress looking like that?” Yoongi asked when I made my way back to the living room, licking his lips as he gave me a once over. I threw my arms lazily around his neck and his hands immediately wrapped around my waist, bringing me closer to him.

           “As if you have to ask.” I teased, glancing down at his lips. He didn’t hesitate in closing the minimal space between us, soft gasps escaping from both of us.

           It wasn’t hard to find Jackson when we arrived at his place. The man was made for throwing parties; he was the biggest social butterfly I’ve ever met. He was making rounds, greeting everyone, and making sure everyone was having a great time. His eyes were on me the second I walked in the door, and he left the group he was talking to to greet me. “And the party queen arrives.” He smirked, bringing me in for a hug.

           “We had to stop to get more of the good shit.” Yoongi said, taking Jackson’s attention away from me.

           “You guys started without me?” Jackson jokingly pouted, causing both Yoongi and I to roll our eyes. “Meet me in my room, I’ll grab Jungkook and Jae Beom.” We nodded and headed upstairs to the last room on the left and set up. It didn’t take long for the other 3 to join us for some lines. We sat and joked around for a while so it could kick in, and then we joined the party raging on downstairs.

           “You look so good tonight.” Yoongi moaned into my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind as I made us some drinks. His lips were soon pressing on the side of my neck, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses before I turned around in his arms and pressed my lips to his. My hands gripped onto his hair as his tongue begged for entrance, which I fully obliged.

           “Always a show when you two get together.” Jungkook chuckled, causing us to break apart. Yoongi didn’t move, just kept his arms wrapped tightly around me as I placed my hands on his chest and looked over to Jungkook.

           “We’re not dating.” I corrected. He put his hands up in surrender, but I could see the teasing look in his eyes. “Just fucking.” I added, pressing a quick kiss to Yoongi’s cheek.

           “Love is dumb anyway.” Yoongi chimed in. “I get all the benefits, none of the bullshit.” He smirked, pulling me in for another heated kiss. Love is dumb, which is why I settle for this instead allowing myself to fall completely head over heels for my best friend.

           Kim Namjoon is every girls dream when it comes to dating. He’s considerate, kind, giving, loving, funny, smart, tall, and not to mention sexy as fuck. He’s always had my entire heart since the day we met in our first year of high school. Someone had decided to dump their smoothie on my shirt, and without thinking, Namjoon had slipped his sweater on my shoulders, grabbing my arms, and sliding them through the arm holes before zipping it up, effectively hiding the stain.

           I was already on a slippery slope back then, drinking with friends much older than I. But he saved me, honestly speaking. He helped me get my grades up, helped me get into and then graduate college. He was there for every hard night, every sick day, and has seen me at my best and my worst. Kim Namjoon was everything I needed and everything I wanted.

           Yoongi was the complete opposite of Namjoon. He did drugs, drank, and partied all the time. He dropped out of college to party and could barely hold down a job. He introduced me to Jackson, Jae Beom and Jungkook, and soon the 5 of us became the life of every party.

           I met Yoongi soon after Namjoon started dating a girl who was perfect for him. It had been years since I stepped foot in a party, but when I was walking and heard the pounding music, it was like it was calling for me. Like fate had put me there at that time on purpose, so I could find Min Yoongi and get over the pain of losing my first love.

           I remembered walking through the door, and Yoongi’s eyes immediately met mine. It’s like he could see how broken I was and took me under his wing. Within a couple hours, I had completely forgotten about Namjoon and miss perfect.

           It became a regular thing for me again, staying out late and not remembering what I did. Because when I woke up the next day, I was met with the realization that the only man I’ve ever loved, will never love me. So every night I drank myself into oblivion and slept with Yoongi. It was the closest thing to love I’ll ever get.

           “I want you to meet her.” Namjoon told me a few days later as we sat on the couch, watching some movie I already forget the name of. “You’re my best friend and she’s been asking to meet you.” He had told me lots about her in the past. How smart she is, how pretty she is, how absolutely perfect she is. It is glaringly obvious how much different she is from me.

           “Whatever.” I said under my breath, really not in the mood to hear about his perfect girlfriend. “Should we invite her to dinner then?” I asked in a monotone voice, not looking away from the tv, though I had no idea what was going on with the characters on the screen. The only thing I could focus on was the new cologne Namjoon was wearing, and how close he was sitting to me.

           “She’d love that.” He smiled, immediately pulling out his phone to text her.

           “I’m bringing Yoongi then. I don’t want to third-wheel.” His head snapped up to look at me when I said that. Besides, I’ll need drugs to get through this. I thought to myself, texting Yoongi to see if he was free.

           “So you two are officially dating?” Namjoon asked, causing me to look over at him for the first time since we sat down. All he was wearing was a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but somehow he looked incredible. His girlfriend was so lucky, and I hope she knew that. I hope she treats him like the king he is, because if she were to break his heart, she’d be breaking mine too.

           “You know I don’t date, Joon.” I chuckled, rolling my eyes as the absurdity that I’d be able to love anyone that wasn’t him.

           Yoongi and I quickly snuck into my room to do a couple lines before meeting Namjoon back in the living room so we could leave for the restaurant. The two of them have met on multiple occasions during these last few months, but they never seemed to get along. Namjoon blamed Yoongi for getting me back into partying, and Yoongi hates that Namjoon can’t see the great girl in front of him.

           As expected, she was stunning, even in her simple sundress. Namjoon’s face completely lit up when she joined our table. “You must be Y/N.” She exclaimed with a wide smile. “Joonie has told me so much about you.” Why did I think this was a good idea? I could feel the tears spring to my eyes just watching them interact, wishing it was me.

           “Did you just want to leave? Jackson’s throwing another party.” Yoongi whispered in my ear. “A pool party with his closest friends.” He added with a playful smirk as he pinched my side. I let out a little squeal, catching the attention of Namjoon and Ji Soo.

           “We should hurry and order. Yoongi just reminded me that it’s our friend’s birthday tonight.” I lied with a small smile, and Ji Soo immediately agreed.

           “Don’t want you to miss another party.” Namjoon said with a displeased look on his face.

           “So glad you see it our way.” Yoongi bit back, a smile on his face as he cocked his head to the side. Ji Soo looked between the two of them, obviously sensing the sudden tension in the air.

           “You seriously can’t skip this party?” His question was directed at me, but Yoongi answered.

           “Didn’t you hear her? It’s our friend’s birthday.”

           “And which friend would that be?” Namjoon countered, completely ignoring both Ji Soo and I, who just looked at each other, not wanting to get involved.

           “Jackson.” Yoongi said, placing his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands, looking over at Namjoon with a playful look in his eyes, but I could see the anger in the way his jaw was clenching. “You know, the guy who threw her a huge birthday bash when her best friend forgot her birthday.” Namjoon’s eyes widened when he heard that, but I refused to look at him, keeping my head down as I pretended to look through the menu. I could tell that Namjoon was going through the days in his mind, trying to see if Yoongi was telling the truth.

           “Y/N, why didn’t you say anything?” I glanced up for just a second before looking back to the menu like it was the most interesting book in the world.

           “You were busy with Ji Soo. It’s not that big a deal. I had a good day.” I still remembered getting ready for our birthday tradition of ordering in and watching a bunch of movies in a fort. A tradition that was started by Namjoon in high school when he found out no one remembered my birthday. He asked his parents if I could come over for the night, and I remember seeing the horribly built fort in his room and crying.

           We’ve gotten better at building forts over the years, but the tradition still went unmissed for 7 years, until this year. I could see the apologetic look in both Namjoon and Ji Soo’s eyes. She never meant to take Namjoon from me, but she was such a good person. Of course he would choose her over me, even on my birthday. “You know, I’m suddenly not hungry.” I chirped, closing the menu, and placing it back on the table. “Have a date night. Yoongi and I have somewhere to be.”  

           “Y/N!” Namjoon called after me, following Yoongi and I to the parking lot before grabbing my wrist and stopping me. “Why didn’t you remind me?”

           “I didn’t think I needed to.” I slid his hand off my wrist and slid my hand into Yoongi’s and we left. “You didn’t have to say that.” I whispered as he drove away, leaving Namjoon in the parking lot, staring after us, and Ji Soo sitting alone at a table meant for 4.

           “He deserved to know how horribly he’s been treating you lately.” I knew he was right. I would have never told Joon how much he’s been neglecting me since his relationship with Ji Soo began. “We’ll stop by your place to get your swim suit, then we’ll get drunk and forget about love.” He smiled at me, placing his hand on my thigh. Why did I have to fall in love with the only man who could never love me?

           “I’m going to have to throw more pool parties if this is what you look like in a bikini.” Jackson teased, pulling me in for a hug, kissing my cheek as we pulled away.

           “Always a flirt.” I joked back, blowing him a kiss. Everyone who was invited was already in the pool, enjoying the drinks and loud music. Jungkook and Jae Beom saw Yoongi and I standing with Jackson by the sliding glass door leading into his house, and quickly made their way towards us.

           “You two are always the last to arrive.” Jae Beom teased, bumping me lightly with his shoulder.

           “Probably fucking and losing track of time.” Jungkook jumped in, a teasing smile on his face. I threw my head back in laughter as Yoongi slid his arm around my waist.

           “If you’re jealous, just say so.” Yoongi quipped, pressing a soft kiss to my neck. “Who’s joining us in the kitchen?” He asked the three boys in a tone that alluded to what the plan was. All three of them followed us as we continued our tradition of getting absolutely trashed together.

           I found myself drinking more than usual as thoughts of Namjoon just wouldn’t leave my mind. I could still see the way his entire face lit up when Ji Soo joined us, as if she was the love of his life. And maybe she was. Maybe in due time I’d be a guest at their wedding, Yoongi on my arm as we try to get low-key trashed. We’d probably fuck in an abandoned room at whatever venue they decided on.

           I always pictured a life where Namjoon returned my feelings, and I was the one walking down the aisle towards him. He would smile when he saw me dressed in white, and he would whisper how beautiful I was when I met him at the alter. There would be no second thoughts, no cold feet. It’s like he’s my soulmate, but I’m not his. And that hurts.

           So I drown my sorrows in drugs and alcohol. Splashing around with all the guys in the pool, my vision blurring the more I drank. Yoongi sat me on the edge of the pool at one point, standing between my legs as we gave the rest of them a small show as we made out. Cheers were heard from all our friends and we couldn’t help but laugh at how high school this all felt.

           It wasn’t until Yoongi swam away, joining a game the rest of them were playing, that I realized just how drunk and unstable I was. I tried to stop myself from falling forwards, but I couldn’t. And the next thing I remember is hitting my head on the bottom of the pool and hearing everyone call my name.

           Blinding lights woke me up who knows how long later, and I could feel my head pound worse than any hangover I’ve ever felt. “Y/N!” Yoongi exclaimed when he saw my eyes opened, immediately taking my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and giving it a soft kiss. “You scared the shit out of me.” I finally took in my surroundings, realizing I was in a hospital room, an IV of fluids in my arm sobering me up quickly. My head whipped towards the door when it slid open, Namjoon walking in.

           “You’re up.” I nodded. “What the fuck were you thinking drinking that much?” He suddenly yelled, causing Yoongi to stand up and get into Namjoon’s face.

           “Do not fucking talk to her like that!” He countered.

           “I’m her best friend! I have a right to be concerned about her wellbeing. And if I’m honest, you are no help.” I wanted to say something, anything, to stop them from arguing, from saying things they won’t be able to take back.

           “Last I checked, I’m the person that’s been there for her lately. I’m the person that knows when she’s sad. I’m the person she calls when you yell at her. I’m the person who helps her forget why she’s sad in the first place!” Yoongi yelled, getting closer to Namjoon. “While you run off galivanting with your girlfriend and neglecting the person you call your best friend.”

           “I do not neglect Y/N! I make time for her all the fucking time. All you’ve done is undo all the progress I made getting her better.”

           “You make time for her and yet you missed her birthday and didn’t even realize it until I told you! I see her every fucking day, so I damn well know you’re not around as much as you think you are. You don’t even know how much she’s hurting.” Yoongi’s voice started getting softer, tears obviously welling up in his eyes. We were fuck buddies, but he’s still a close friend of mine. Seeing me hurt always seemed to hurt him as well. Namjoon then looked passed Yoongi and right at me.

           “Why don’t you talk to me anymore? Why does he know you’re hurting, and I don’t?” He pushed Yoongi to the side, stepping closer to me and taking the chair Yoongi was once sitting in.

           “Because you’re the one hurting me.” I admitted, tired of biting my tongue around him. Yoongi was right. Namjoon deserved to know how much he was hurting me. “You can’t see how in love with you I am, and brag to me about how perfect Ji Soo is, and it hurts because you’re right. She’s so perfect, especially for you. I’m just a fucking mess and I’m just lucky you’re my best friend, but I love you. So I drown my feelings in alcohol to forget about you.” Namjoon just stared at me. “I don’t expect you to ever return my feelings, Joon. But please for now, just leave.” He didn’t say anything and just left the room, Yoongi quickly taking a seat beside me again.

           “I’m proud of you, babe.” He smiled, taking my hand again. “He needed to hear it.” I nodded, refusing to meet his sympathy filled eyes. I deserve someone like Yoongi. Him and I are similar in the worst ways, but we complete each other in the best way. And yet I can’t stop being in love with the one man who is too good for me.

           Yoongi didn’t leave my side for the week of bed rest at home I was ordered to take. Neither one of us drank or did drugs, we didn’t even have sex the entire time. He just doted on me; cooking for me and helping me with absolutely everything. I’ve never felt more grateful for him than this moment. It almost helped me forget about Namjoon. Almost.

           The day Yoongi left, Namjoon was at my door, an apologetic look in his eyes. I invited him in as the two of us sat on my couch, silence draping over us. It was weird sitting in complete silence with him, neither one of us knowing what to say. “How come you never said anything?” Namjoon finally broke the silence.

           “I didn’t want to lose you. Like you said, you made me better. You helped me get on the right path, helped me graduate college, helped me become the person I was months ago. And I knew it was all one-sided. So I bit my tongue, and then you met Ji Soo, and I met Yoongi. Yoongi was able to help me forget that I was watching you fall in love with someone that wasn’t me.” Namjoon was staring at me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, knowing I would burst into tears the second I met his sympathetic eyes.

           “How do you know it’s one-sided?”

           “Oh please, Joon. You’re literally perfect. A genius with a 4.0 GPA, a wonderful job making good money. You’re such a kind and giving person, not thinking twice about helping a person in need, like giving me your sweater in high school. Not to mention you’re effortlessly handsome. And I’m a mess. I drink and do drugs. I was failing until you helped me. I can barely hold down a job. Just looking at us, anyone could tell that you’re way too good for me.” I laid all my thoughts on the table, wiping away some of the tears that began to fall. “It was inevitable that I was going to fall in love with you.” I added, taking a small glance towards him before looking back to my hands joined together in my lap.

           “You’re so much more than that, Y/N. You’re so smart when you apply yourself. You’re such a caring person, like you don’t even think about doing good for others, it’s just second nature to you. And you’re beautiful.” He reached over, brushing some hair away from my face. “So beautiful and you don’t even realize it.” His voice was soft as he spoke. “Sure, you got into the wrong crowd again and found yourself on that slippery slope once again, but relapse is a thing that happens during recovery.”

           “What if I don’t want to recover anymore?” I finally met his eyes as my tears fell more frequently.

           “Then I’ll just have to give you a reason to.” I scoffed.

           “And what reason is that?” He seemed to hesitate for only a second before closing the space between us in a sweet kiss. A kiss so much different than the ones I’ve shared with Yoongi. A kiss filled with love and passion. A kiss that brought me back to life.

           “Ji Soo broke up with me that evening at the restaurant. Because even she could see just how in love with you I am.” He whispered, his forehead resting against mine. “Is my love reason enough to continue your recovery?” He pulled back only slightly, his hand coming up to rest on my cheek, wiping away some of the stray tears.

           “Your love is the only drug I need.” I smiled, kissing him for the second time, my heart swelling with so much love. It was inevitable that I was going to fall in love with the man who saved me, but it was destiny that he fell in love with me too.