#firstly i am fucking exhausted

[learn-and-accept]

I'm back in the place I grew up for the first time since moving 6 months ago and it is so fucking weird and I have a lot of feelings

[54625]

What I want out of a QSMP season two.

(Some of these points may be a little divisive - it's just my personal opinion. Content creators will be referred to as players for conciseness. QSMP as it has been for the past year, for the sake of this post, will be referred to as "season 1".)

1. TAKE A FUCKING BREAK.

I do not want to see the QSMP coming back in less than two months at the very, very least. Five or six months to a year is ideal, in my opinion.

This is for a few reasons. Firstly, the obvious; I want Quackity Studios to take the necessary time to make 100% sure that everyone who has worked, does work, or will work for them is compensated. Not just this, but I want the communication among the studio to become streamlined and consistent, for the purpose of maintaining the quality of the SMP, the quality of life of the employees, and entirely avoiding a repeat of the previous situation. Any less will be unacceptable, and prove that all people in charge, including and especially Quackity himself, have not learned their lesson.

Secondly, I am very sure that a lot of players will lack or have completely lost their motivation for the QSMP, due to the nature of the last few months of season 1. I am sure that those who had a lot of lore written up and had to scrap it or cut it short are probably still quite sore about it, and may not have the energy to pick the QSMP story back up. This is especially true if they had already given their characters a canon ending and don't want to overshadow it. When creating a new SMP, or a new season of an SMP, you first and foremost need player motivation to be high. Waiting several months would ensure that the wound of player lore being ruined would have mostly healed over by the start of season 2.

Thirdly, viewer engagement will always be an important thing to take into consideration when creating an SMP that will be televised. The large majority of QSMP fans are completely burned out from watching. Leaving a large gap between seasons 1 and 2 would let fans, who have had an exhausting last few months, recover and reset. It will also allow hype and anticipation to build up when things eventually start being teased and announced again. Fans have a lot of disdain for this project at the present moment, and waiting for a while between seasons will not only let fans know that serious action is being taken behind the scenes, but also will let the sour attitude a lot of fans have right now wear off over time.

2. RESET. FOR REAL THIS TIME.

Probably my most controversial take on this topic will be; I fully believe that if a QSMP season 2 is to occur, it should be a completely new server. By completely new I naturally mean a new map, but also ZERO LORE CONTINUATION. I know this is a hot take, but I personally believe QSMP season 2 is a perfect chance for a completely fresh start, and a fresh start cannot happen if it still takes place in the same universe.

We all know that season 1's lore was overwhelming, slightly confusing, and at the end of the day, completely disjointed. We all fell in love with the terrifying Federation and Codes, yes, we all loved the basis of the story; a group of people from different countries get stranded on a "perfect" paradise island controlled by a governmental body that won't let them leave, and have to work together; but at the end of the day, the lore of season 1 became messy. Very messy. Instead of trying again and again to salvage it, the best option is probably to just start again.

Put the same players in a different map, give them a completely different premise, and let the lore unfold anew. Which leads into my next point.

3. PLAYER DRIVEN LORE.

Let the players develop the story. If a player has an overarching storyline they are unfolding themselves, prioritise letting them do so. All of the best lore in season 1 was player created, and player enacted; Cellbit's regret arc, the happy pills, Cellbit's murdering Fed workers arc, literally everything Fit ever did, Roier's lore, ect ect ect. Server admins should only intervene in player's lore when directly asked, and big changes to the server's status quo should only occur when there is no active lore to be interrupted, everyone agrees it should happen, and it would actively drive engagement up, rather than down.

The best case scenario for a QSMP season 2, in my opinion, is for the server admins and Quackity to come up with an exciting and engaging premise for a brand new universe with brand new characters, to place the players in an interesting themed map, and just let them loose. Let the lore build naturally, and see what comes of it.

IN CONCLUSION.

I vehemently disagree with people who believe the QSMP should not have a season 2. The QSMP is a brilliant idea, and its noble goals shine through all of the incredible friendships and memories it, and only it, made. There is no other server like QSMP.

The act of uniting people from all over the world has been proven to be an extremely important and worthwhile goal. I, genuinely, admire Quackity for his passion in this, and for understanding that this thing should not be easily given up on or let go. Drastic changes need to occur, but the QSMP is bigger than just a Minecraft server; it represents so much unity, community, and love.

It is worth saving.

I hope, desperately and for the sake of everyone involved, past future and present, that the QSMP can come back better and stronger than ever, continuing to further its goals; to tell amazing stories, to forge impossible friendships, to spark joy and laughter, and to bring people together no matter the barriers keeping them apart.

Thank you for reading.

[eternity-111]

A special little break time!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Barbatos just can't seem to relax and take a break, fine. You'll have to do it in your own way. (fem reader x dom barbatos)

NSFW! minors scroll down ⊹

nsfw, blow job, tears, creampie 𖹭

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reblogs, likes are appreciated! If you see any grammar mistakes, feel free to tell me <3

You receive a message from the young Lord asking you a favor to help him convince Barbatos to get a break. He can't think of anyone else but you.

"I'm not exactly sure why Barbatos always follows your command, it is like your superpower! you can tell him to touch a rat and he will gladly do it" said Diavalo while giggling.

No really, it's so hard to convince him to take a break. Even when the young Lord himself told him to. His excuses are always "This is my duty" or "I'm your Butler". And technically you agreed to help Diavalo.

firstly, you open your phone and text Barbatos to meet you at the cafe.

"Is this something important? If not, I will not come." Barbatos replied to your text. But no, you won't give up that easily. You are determined that you can do it! so this time, you call him.

"Let's do something fun Barbatos! aren't you tired of working?"

"I'm honored that you asked me, but no. I am not tired since this is my duty to keep an eye on the young master."

ugh. why isn't he agreeing to go out with you? how dare he say no to you. He rarely says that!

"Fine! I'll come over there then. wait for me Barbatos!" although he declines any offer, you are still determined to get him to take a break.

you are now inside of the castle, trying to find Barbatos but since it's so big, you almost got lost! even though you have been visiting the castle almost every week, you still managed to get confused about the layout of the castle. It's pretty huge after all. Searching for him makes you exhausted and really thirsty. walking around that castle is like an exercise for you. So you head over to the kitchen to get something to drink, and that's when you find Barbatos. Washing the dishes.

"Barbatos! I'm so glad I found you" smiling when you finally found him.

"Why hello there Mc, you seem to be panting a lot. Are you okay?" Looking back at you while finishing up his duty.

"yeah I'm fine dont worry." you replied while grabbing yourself a drink. Not long after that, you head over to the counter where Barbatos is drying his hands off, Again.. Trying to get him off work but he simply declined. No matter what you do or what you say he just won't.

"pleaseeee..?? pretty please? I'll do anything for you to get off from work!" You said to him while holding his hands with a pout.

God, You look so fucking adorable and he can't resist you. He tried to not look down at you because you were wearing a tight-fit dress and he didn't want to get a boner while working. But he can't. Looking down at you with that face makes him want to just fuck you. I mean.. it's your plan after all. You know he can't resist you with that dress and that is why you wear it.

You took advantage of it, tip-toeing over for a light kiss, teasing him. Your lips were as soft as a cloud and he needed more. He holds your waist to let you know that he doesn't want your pretty, soft lips to leave. A soft moan slipped out of your mouth as a response. His kisses slowly go down, from your lips, chin, and then your neck. He was so gentle and soft.. Gosh, you started to feel hot, and.. he was hard too. You felt his pants hardened, it's like he's asking you to unzip his pants and just.. suck it all.

"Well, I maybe perhaps need a little break don't I? Could you take care of me darling?" looking seductively at you, he asked you to help him and you knew exactly what to do, you are a good girl after all.

"Don't worry, I'll help you." you look at him innocently but you know deep down, your intention is not as innocent as your eyes.

On your knees, you started to unzip his pants. His dick was so excited that it just bounce right out, twitching as if he was so impatient, waiting for your next move. He was in fact, impatient. He needs your pretty little mouth to suck him deep. but.. why are you not doing it? Being impatient, He grabbed your head and pushed you so deep into him. Eyes widened, you didn't expect him to make the first move. You were gasping for air.

"b-barbatos.. calm down!" you choked on his dick, taking his dick out of your mouth.

"take it back, I didn't allow you to take it out."

after calming yourself down, you started to suck his dick again. It's so big that you can feel it hitting the back of your throat. Moaning when it did. Looking at him with pathetic eyes while sucking his dick off, it's like you're asking for his approval. Are you good enough? or are you not? He didn't say anything so you thought he was not satisfied. So you position your hands on his hips, sucking him way more quicker this time and you heard him grunt. Is he finally satisfied?

"i-is this good enough?" you asked him. Moaning as you say so.

"Yes. You're so good at this. keep sucking me." head tilting back while breathing heavily. Finally! he's satisfied.

He felt that he is about to cum. he didn't want to choke you with his precious cum so he take his dick out and release it all over your face. breathing heavily and moaning as he did that. Your face was all ruined now aww :(. Some of it was in your cheeks, hair, eyes, and lips. You licked some of it off while he stroke his dick. You smiled at him, what a good little girl. He needs more of you. and I mean. more.

He helps you stand up and then he lifts one of your legs to the counter and the other is at his shoe. Kissing all over you while he did. He kisses you as his hands guide his dick to your entrance. You were so wet by now. He is teasing you with his dick and he knows you want it.

"Barbatos please..? please put it inside. I can't wait anymore." whining and wiggling your ass as you told him, Gosh you were so needy for him. And he gladly does it.

He covers your mouth with his hands and slowly puts it inside. Eyes rolling and moaning when he did, your cunt was so tight and wet.. making him moan. He begins to fuck you slowly at first but as time went on, he got faster and faster. nghh his dick feels so good inside you and as for your legs? it was shaking. You were whimpering and moaning so much that he had to put his fingers inside of your mouth to calm you.

He was breathing heavily too, sometimes squishing your ass or your boobs when you were too loud. His hips begin to go quicker and tears are rolling down your face as you tell him to slow down. he didn't listen of course. Feeling that both of you are at the edge. He circle your clit to make you feel more pleasure.. kissing your neck while he did so.

"h-ha! barbatos~!" Hearing that makes him go more faster and sooner, and you both release at the same time. Your body trembling when you release, but still trying to suck his dick even deeper so that no cum of his is wasted. I mean, who wouldn't? his dick always hits your G-spot after all.

Your body was so weak that you couldn't stand up anymore. trembling so bad that you have to sit on the floor. It's not your fault, after all, It's his!

"Barbatos...I-i can't stand up anymore." while breathing heavily and letting his cum go out of your pussy to the floor. such a waste :( but you really try not to let anything spill out but you just can't.

"Don't worry darling. Since you helped me relax, I'll take care of you next. Maybe I should ask Diavalo for more breaks so I can just fuck you again hm?"

[sturn3]

i lowkey really got out of hand, girl... i'm sorry, i can re-do it if you'd like!!! (btw im not really sorry, im kinda proud of the smut i wrote) tw: not proofread cause im kinda lazy rn

matt's girlfriend was the sweetest angel anyone had ever met. always putting everyone's needs before her own. never wanting to disappoint anyone and she just had a very motherly nature, needing to take care of everyone around her.

so, that translated that she was a pathological people pleaser. taking up extra shifts at her work, always saying yes to her boss even though she didn't want to do something he suggested, giving her coworkers rides home, baking them the cookies she once brought to work and everyone continuesly asked for, giving rides to her coworkers and so much more.

her natural instinct of saying yes to everything to please everyone left her exhausted all the time. so, when she did have free time all she'd do is nap, that would be the case, of course, if no one of her friends called her to hang out or have her do some kind of chore. matt had finally had enough of missing his girlfriend so much and never having any time with her. and that's when he decided to intervene.

firstly, he decided to mix up her white laundry with a piece of red clothing, painting all of her formal clothes and cute lingerie, pink. you moved on and said, "That's fine, sweetie. everyone makes mistakes." matt had to work harder to pull out the beast he knew you were hiding.

secondly, he started messing up all of your orders. putting onion and peppers in every order, two vegetables you hated passionately.you did show a little more aggression towards that, but you picked the disgusting veggies off and made no deal about it.

thirdly, matt thought this was his best shot at getting out the worst version of you. you were currently enjoying a party at full swing, everyone was having fun and drinking. you were with your girlfriends a few feet away from where you had last left matt. what you had failed to realize yet was that matt had some added companion from the last time you looked over to him. a girl glued to his side. at that moment ,you didn't think you'd ever been angrier. matt tried to hide his smirk as he saw you stalking over to him with crossed arms over your chest. when you got there, you tapped the girl aggressively on her shoulder, causing her to turn around and give you a look as if you were the one interrupting something. she suddenly spoke, "what do you want?" she said as her big brown eyes bored over your figure,"for you to stop talking to my boyfriend." you said as you pushed her out of the way and grabbed matt by his hand.

you had to managed to get away from the crowded house party and inside his parked car."can you tell me why the fuck that bitch was on you like that? you fucking bored of me or something?" you said as you slapped down his neck, matt couldn't help but smile wickedly. "maybe." he replied testing you even more, he knew he was playing with fire. "maybe, huh?? i'll fucking show you how boring i am, matt. get in the back and strip." he knew not to piss you off more so that's what he did. finally, you climed to the backseat right after he had obeyed and done everything you had asked him to.

"so, you think you're funny, matt, yeah? you think i'm such a people pleasure who would let you fuck some random dumb whore?" oh my god, did he love seeing this side of you. he made a mental note to piss you more often. he was getting a bit too excited while you were sat on top of his lap and quite literally could feel his dick stood up against your thigh. "no, no that's not what i was trying to do. i love you, baby." you laughed bitterly at that, grabbing him by his face and pulling his lips close enough to yours, touching but never kissing, "well, i think you deserve a lesson, baby." you said mocking him. so you got to work. you were currently on your knees on the floor of his car, leaving kisses on the length of his dick and occasional "kitten" licks on his tip. taking your sweet time teasing him and making it more painful each moment you passed without doing anything further. the growns you'd hear of him, making your core drip to the carpet of his car, due to your lack of underwear. whenever he'd to push your head so you could take him further into your mouth, you'd shake your head and shot him a disapproving look and he'd quickly let go. after a while of teasing him, you decided to fully take him in your mouth. he almost came when your warm mouth came into contact with his dick. your movements slow and steady. keeping him guessing your next movement. he knew not to try you, either. but when you felt his dick twitch in your mouth, you decided it was time to let go. you had brought him to such point of overstimulation and overwhelm that he could feel tears spill from his eyes. sat perched up on his lap with your legs spread, your skirt so shirt, giving him a view of your pantie-less pussy, he wanted to cry. so, when you finally leaned in to kiss him, he sighed in relief. your lips moving so hungrily against each other, his kiss so bruising. you could feel his hands grab the bottom of your tight crop top and pull it off your head. hands immediately going to grab at your breasts, meanwhile kissing and sucking your collarbones. then, he went down to suck your nipples, paying equal attention to both of them, his hands dropping to play with you clit. your pornographic moans filling the silence of his car. when you pulled his hands away to replace them with his dick he was gone for. he came almost immediately, as expected. but that didn't stop you. you weren't gonna stop if you didn't get to cum. so you eagerly moved on his dick trying to reach your high. your breasts jumping up and down on his face, a sight he wishes he could see every waking second of his life. that fueled him to thrust up inside you, not being able to resist but play with your tits once more. kissing and sucking. "you're so perfect, baby. no one could compare to you, my love." he said as he pulled from your tits and looking up at you with a lust filled gaze. both of you came to a high eventually. completely spent from your actions. "you love this side of me, don't you?" you accused matt, he couldn't help but let out the biggest smile "mhm yeah really turns me on how crazy you can get.", "oh, is that so?" "yes, i love my sweet kind girlfriend but baby you need to let out more the insane girl only i get to see."

[dreamwatch]

I tell you folks, it's harder than it looks

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest April warm-up round.

Prompt: Taxed | Word Count: 996 | Rating: T | CW: Language, description of injury, hospitals | POV: Steve | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Exhaustion, Eddie Munson needs a hug, arguments, but it all works out, workaholic Eddie Munson

(So... I forgot to get something written before today, so this is a bit of a speed write and I hope I got as many typos and redundancies as possible. For anyone interested, the idea came from another fic I wrote a while ago, where you can see Wayne's POV.)

****

Kangaroos. That was the reason Steve had picked Australia to join the tour. Eddie called from every continent, trying to tempt him with far-flung locations, but in the end it was the kangaroos that got him. And thank god, because if he’d got the call that Eddie had collapsed on stage, or worse, saw it on the news, he’d be losing his mind right about now. So yeah, thank fuck for kangaroos. 

They’re holed up in a hospital in Sydney, trying to keep the press away from Eddie. Jeff and Ben hover near Eddie’s bed, Gareth standing as close to the door as he can, arms crossed and eyes firmly fixed on the floor. The atmosphere is uncomfortably tense.

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that’s okay then. I mean, as long as you’re sorry—”

“Gareth,” Jeff interrupts. Always the peacemaker.

“Don’t ‘Gareth’ me, man. I’ve been saying for months, for fucking years, we need to slow down before one of us gets hurt. And here we are. But hey, I’m just the drummer, no one fucking listens to me. Or any of us for that matter. Just him.” He gesticulates at Eddie. 

Steve feels like an interloper and it’s a little uncomfortable; he’s got no desire to be the Yoko Ono in this situation but he’s not leaving until Eddie tells him to. His eyes drift back to Eddie who’s staring out into the Sydney skyline. The fierce bruise on the left side of his face has come out in anger now, gauze and tape covering stitches. It makes his heart fucking ache.

Steve had been there at the edge of the stage watching the show when Eddie wobbled and went loose-limbed, watched him just drop, the sickening snap back of his head as he hit the drum riser. Ben had got to him first, Jeff signalling for help, while Gareth stood behind the drums, frozen. He had looked terrified. Steve stood there watching helplessly, heart in his throat the whole time. 

Eddie’s eyes go wide with panic. “Shit. Wayne.”

“Taken care of,” Steve tells him. “Called him a few hours ago. He’s fine. Getting your room ready as we speak.”

“Press too,” Jeff chips in. “You don’t need to worry about anything, it’s all taken care of man.”

“Shouldn’t need to be,” mutters Gareth.

Jeff sighs, “Jesus Christ, man, will you quit it?” 

Gareth finally looks up, first at Jeff, and finally at Eddie. But there’s no anger there. Steve can see the worry in his eyes and he gets it. He’s spent years of his life worrying about bad things happening to his friends and being powerless to do anything about it. It fucking sucks. 

Ben puts his arm around Gareth, leading him outside. “Let’s go rustle up snacks, dude, I’m fucking starving.” 

Eddie picks at the edge of the tape holding the IV in the back of his hand. “Well, that went well.” 

“Hey,” says Jeff, shaking Eddie’s ankle to get his attention. “He’s not angry, okay? He’s just scared. We all were, but… you know what he’s like. He’s our sensitive little flower.”

A little ghost of a smile settles on Eddie’s lips and it unlocks something in Steve, eases the worry just a tiny bit. 

“Yeah, I know. I am sorry, you know? I didn’t want this to happen, man. I just… I just thought it was the right thing to do for us. The tour. All of it.”

Jeff sighs. “Listen, when we get back, a few things need to change. Firstly, we’re taking a fucking break. A long one. We’re all burned out.”

Eddie nods softly. “Of course.”

“And we are never doing a tour this long again. Non-negotiable. Strict date limits going forward.”

“Absolutely.”

“And one last thing.” Jeff shifts uncomfortably. “He didn’t say it the right way but… Gareth wasn’t wrong. About no one listening to us. To Phil, specifically, not listening to us.”

Steve knows Eddie has a near-pathological fear of losing everything, but he’s since learned that their manager, Phil, has preyed upon it, tapping into the fear, pushing for more albums, more interviews and appearances, and longer tours. And Eddie just can’t say no. “You never know when it will stop,” he told him once. 

Steve would love to get his fucking hands on Phil right about now. 

“He’s got to go.”

And Eddie agrees, just like that, because it’s Jeff. To the public, it’s Eddie’s band, but to everyone who truly knows them, it’s Jeff who keeps them together. It makes Steve smile to think about the nerdy kid from high school, comparing him to this man who stands at Eddie’s side in front of thousands, night after night, confidence oozing from him.

The door clicks open, and Ben wanders in with a Coke, Gareth slinking in behind him. Gareth shuffles forward and Eddie reaches up with his free hand, and Steve finds himself letting out a huge breath when Gareth takes it. 

“You scared the shit out of me,” Gareth says, softly.

“I know. I know man. I was an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

Steve is expecting a snappy comeback, but Eddie’s starting to wilt, and he’s struggling to keep his eyes open.

“I think we should let Eddie get some rest,” he says. “Long flight tomorrow.”

The boys say their goodbyes, and Steve pulls his chair as close to the side of the bed as he can manage. Eddie smiles at him, their fingers entwined.

“Close enough there?” Eddie says, smiling fondly.

“No,” he replies, smiling back. He never wants to let Eddie out of his sight again. “How you doing?”

Eddie drops his head back onto his pillow. “I feel like shit.”

“Maybe I’ll need to move to LA to keep an eye on you.”

A soft blush blooms across Eddie’s cheeks. “Maybe you do,” he says shyly.

“Go to sleep then. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

As Eddie drifts off, Steve thinks about how to tell Robin he’s moving to LA.

[m1lflov3rrr]

Hi hiiiiii! Firstly, lemme just say I absolutely ADORE your fics on wattpad and im SO thrilled you're also here on tumblr now??!?!? An absolute treat, this is <3

Anyways as for requests— can I request Larissa and/or Marilyn dealing with Y/N who's got a really bad sleeping schedule thanks to having the WORST case of insomnia? (fluff most appreciated, but IF you want somth more spicy to deal it, I wouldn't say no to it hehe 💕 :3c)

Thank you sm <3

Thank you for the request and so sorry it took literally MONTHS!!! But here it is now!! And thank you for your kind words, means so much to me <3 I really hope you enjoy this, I made a few changes to it. I don’t have that much experience with insomnia, but with sleep deprivation so I wrote about that, I hope it is okay!

No Rest for the Wicked

Pairing: Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Warnings: sleep deprivation, health issues, fainting, worrying, fluff

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: Larissa tries to help you when she notices how little you’re sleeping…

You sighed deeply as you raised your gaze from your laptop and looked out the window. A heavy fog had descended on the school grounds, reaching as far as the tired eye could see. 

The fog was persistent, it was thick. 

You felt like your thoughts were similarly clouded. You smiled at the irony. 

Returning your gaze back to your work, you looked at the time, it was way past 4 am already. Larissa would wake up soon. 

For the past few weeks it had been like this. You were staying up late, only getting a few hours of sleep a night. And sometimes, like tonight, no sleep at all. 

You felt that you didn’t have enough time. The work load you had felt like the weight of the world rested on your shoulders. You had stacks of ungraded papers, lesson plans to finalize, and a curriculum to update. 

You were exhausted. 

You tried your best to hide it, you didn’t want Larissa to get worried. Because her concern would’ve broken your heart. 

Every day went like this: You ’got up’ at 6, prepared for your lessons of the day and started at 8, taught for 8 hours straight, got back to your shared quarters and spent the rest of the night with Larissa. And after she had fallen asleep, you’d finish your work and prepare for the next day. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell your wife how much workload you’d had recently and how overwhelming it was for you. You had had difficulties in the past finding time to spend together, and after months of you both trying to work it out, it was, indeed, working. 

But lately, it had become too much. With the work, of course. You knew that Larissa would get concerned and start panicking and rushing things to make it better. You didn’t want that. She had her own job to do, which definitely had a workload twice as big as yours was. You felt pathetic. Your wife does three times the work you do in a day and you’re still stressed? Yes, pathetic. 

You finished your lesson plans for the day, just to save yourself some time later. 

It was 5:13 am when you were done. You rubbed your temples to ease your already growing headache as you got up from the desk, swayed there for a bit before making your way to the bathroom. 

You winced at your reflection in the mirror. Your dark and puffy undereyes were still there, if not even more bad and noticeable. This was the first time in your 25 years of living that you had had eye bags. You knew it was bad. 

You hopped in the shower to keep yourself up and maybe gather some energy to get through the day. At first the cold water did wake you up a bit more. Then, when you turned it a little bit warmer, you realized how bad of an idea it was. The warm water relaxed all those tense muscles in your body and you closed your eyes to enjoy the feeling. 

And your eyes stayed closed for a bit too long. If you weren’t so tired, you would have laughed at yourself. The image of you half asleep, standing in your shower. What in the actual fuck, really? 

But something made you jump and push your body’s cries for help and sleep to the back of your mind. 

”Darling?” You heard Larissa’s hoarse morning voice call out to you from the door. 

”Mhm?” You hummed as you turned the water back to cold to not almost fall asleep again. 

”Nothing, just wondering how you’re up so early every morning this week, usually it’s a task itself to get you up,” She chuckled at her own words. 

You smiled to yourself and turned the faucet off, stepping out of the shower so you could see her. 

You noticed how she was checking you out, biting her lip as her eyes roamed across your body. You smirked at her as you took your towel and dried yourself, about to wrap it around your bare body. 

She quickly snapped out of her trance and stepped forward, taking the towel in her hands and unwrapping it, causing it to drop on the floor. 

”I don’t think we’ll be needing that.” She said in a low tone as she pulled you flush against her body by your waist, attacking your neck with her mouth. 

You hummed in delight and closed your eyes in satisfaction at the sudden move, wrapping your hands around her neck. 

You let out little gasps, you couldn’t even let out a simple moan because of your sleep-deprived state. 

And it felt so good, feeling your wife’s lips on your neck, still keeping your eyes shut, leaning into her, maybe leaning too much, starting to drift off, losing your balance… 

Your eyes snapped open when your heard Larissa’s sudden, loud gasp, as she had her arms tightly wrapped around your torso to keep you from falling to the hard floor. 

”Darling, what on earth just happened here?!” She asked in shock as you stood up. 

You took a moment to process what she just said, just because you couldn’t think as fast as usual. 

”What? M’sorry, just got a little.. distracted there, I think..” You responded hazily, trying to focus your eyes to look into hers. 

She ducked her head a bit, trying to get a closer look of you and inspecting your condition. ”Are you alright? You had me worried there, are you sure you want to go to work today? You can take the day off, okay?” 

Your eyes widened in panic, ”No, no, Rissa I am absolutely fine, and I will not be taking the day off. You shouldn’t be concerned, I am okay.” You said hurriedly and walked away, leaving your wife standing in the bathroom, extremely confused and concerned. 

-

”Okay, I think it’s time we all head for lunch, see you guys tomorrow!” You announced the class with a smile, packing your things and leaving for the dining hall. As you entered the hall, you seached for your wife with your eyes, as you always ate lunch together. She wasn’t there. 

You yelped loudly when you felt someone grab your shoulder from behind, causing some people nearby to look at your weirdly. You turned around, ”God, you scared me, Rissa,” You breathed out. 

She just responded with a laugh, sliding her arm to the small of your back and guiding you to walk together to get the food. 

As you sat down, you began eating in silence. You opened a can of energy drink, something that you’d been drinking a lot these days. You didn’t usually even drink those that often, but you needed something to keep you up and awake. 

Larissa sent you a scolding look, a frown tugging at her lips. ”Y/N, what’s this?” 

You widened your eyes, you didn’t want her to find out like this. Or any other way. ”Oh, that’s just an energy drink. Thought it might give me a little boost.” 

She narrowed her eyes slightly, ”A boost? Y/N, darling, this isn’t healthy. Are you not sleeping enough?” 

You smiled, but it was forced. ”Rissa, I’m fine. It’s just been a busy week.” 

She sighed, looking at you with worry-filled eyes. ”Y/N, I can see something is going on, don’t shut me out. Whatever it is, I’m here to help you. We’re a team, remember?” 

Your gaze softened, you were really lucky to have her. But you didn’t want her to know. You didn’t want her you worry about you, because when Larissa got worried, it was all she could think about. She couldn’t work, rest, do anything. She’d have to get to the bottom of it. 

You pursed your lips and took her hand in yours, ”I know, and I appreciate that. But I’ve got this, Rissa. Trust me.” 

-

It had been a few days since that, and your condition and fatigue were only growing worse. Your work load seemed to have doubled since that day. You were trying (and struggling) to stay awake with the constant consumption of caffeine. 

The fog was growing thicker and thicker. You barely could see where you were walking. 

Larissa had had enough. She had been watching your extremely concerning situation unfold in the past few days into something much more worrying. She couldn’t bear seeing you suffer like this for a moment longer. This had to end now. 

You were sitting in your classroom, head buried in your hands as you tried to take a deep breath so that the pounding headache you had recently gotten would go away. You’d taken more aspirin than you probably should have, but it didn’t do anything. You were feeling miserable, physically, and that way, emotionally, too. 

Your eyes began to feel heavier and heavier, and you almost didn’t hear the sharp knock on your classroom door. You flinched harshly at that, squeaking a quiet, ”It’s open.” 

You heard the door opening and the familiar clacking of heels filled the room. 

”Darling?” 

Her voice was soft, almost a little wary. 

You raised your gaze to meet hers, ”Yes?” 

Her eyes were filled with concern, barely hidden. ”I’m worried about you. I can see that something’s going on, and if you’d just please, please let me in, I could help you. Okay?” 

You pursed your lips. You knew this was coming. ”Larissa there is absolutely no reason for you to worry. I am fine, okay?” Your voice was a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. 

”No, you’re not.” She snarled, her tone of voice contrasting the one she had just moments prior. ”You’ve been running on fumes for days! Darling, this… this can’t go on any longer.” Her voice broke as her eyes held a silent plea. 

Your jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the floor. ”I can handle it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and it was becoming harder and harder to keep convincing yourself that. 

”Y/N you almost collapsed earlier! This can’t go on.” She stepped closer, reaching her hand out to touch your shoulder. 

You shrugged off her touch, ”It was nothing. Just a moment of dizziness.” 

Larissa scoffed, her patience was wearing thin. ”And what happens when it’s not just a moment? What happens when you can’t get back up?” 

Something in that comment did it. Your eyes flashed with fury as your tone of voice turned into one laced with venom.  ”You just don’t get it, Larissa! I can fucking handle myself!” 

Her brows furrowed and you could’ve sworn you almost saw her flinch a little. ”Look, I am not trying to belittle you. I just want and need you to take care of yourself.” 

Your head tilted as your eyes held nothing but defiance in them. You felt your breathing pick up, uncontrollably, and how that pounding headache seemed to double, you started feeling a little lightheaded. But you chose to do what you’d been doing for god knows how long now. You ignored it. 

”I don’t, I don’t need you constantly watching over me.” You said, out of breath. 

Your wife’s expression dropped as she realized your condition and what could be happening next. She approached you cautiously, attempting to try and calm you down. ”Y/N, darling, this is not about control. It’s about caring for you.” She told calmly, cupping your face with her soft palm. 

You shook your head, ”You suffocate me, Larissa! I can’t breathe with you hovering over me all the time!” 

Larissa’s heart sank at that. She never meant for it to come to this. She only wanted the best for you, to protect you. 

”Y/N, please, I…” 

Your breathing laboured and before she could finish, your legs gave way and you collapsed on the cold, hard floor. 

”Y/N!” Larissa’s voice came out as a terrified cry as she rushed forward to try and catch you, but she was too late. 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she knelt beside you, shaking you gently and trying to wake you up. ”Y/N, can you hear me?! Please, say something..” 

Your eyes fluttered open, but you couldn’t focus on anything. Your breathing was still laboured and the words you tried to speak came out as a strained whisper. 

”Y/N, I’m taking you to the infirmary.” She breathed out as she scooped you up in her arms and rushed out the classroom. 

-

Since then, you and Larissa made an agreement. Well, you didn’t have much say in it, since Larissa demanded it. 

Larissa began monitoring your schedule, making sure you were following the new schedule she had made for you. And there was no room for negotiaton, absolutely no exceptions. 

Larissa also began cooking more, preparing the meals with care and love, making sure each one was balanced with important nutrients to get your energy levels for the better. 

Bedtime was the most strictly monitored. As evening approached, Larissa would guide you through a calming routine. She’d prepare a warm bath with your favourite scents, she’d slip in as well and wash your hair for you, massaging your head to calm you down. Then, she’d dress you into comfortable pyjamas and lead you to bed, prepare you a nice cup of tea and dim the lights. 

And she’d lull you to sleep with soothing caresses and words of affirmation, telling you how much she loved you, again and again, kissing your whole body as she did so. 

And it worked perfectly. You were feeling both, physically and mentally better. The dark circles under your eyes were slowly fading away, your energy starting to gain back. You also growed to appreciate your wife a thousand times more.

One evening, you were sitting in your shared bedroom, by your desk. Your laptop was open and you were determined to finish grading some papers for your students. Then, Larissa entered the room, the stern look on her face telling everything. ”Darling, it’s time for dinner.” 

You sighed, closing the laptop as you didn’t want to argue about it. And you were starving too. 

You ate in silence with her, you occasionally stealing glances at her. The way she fussed about your portion sizes, making sure you got the right nutrients for your health - you heart warmed as it was all an expression of love. 

Once you were finished, she led you to bed, undressing you and helping you with your pyjamas. I could’ve done that myself, you thought. 

”Now, off to bed. You need your rest, dearest.” 

You smiled as she laid down next to you, caressing your hair and kissing you softly. And you kissed her back, again and again.  Soon, you fell into a peaceful slumber, under Larissa’s loving gaze. She laid a final kiss on your forehead, ”I love you, my darling.” She whispered before drifting off as well. 

And if you looked outside, you’d have noticed that the fog had finally cleared. 

[idontplaytrack]

Lifetimes with you

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: fluff, coarse language, some smut, mentions of hospitals and procedures.

Read other parts, here!

“I have loved you for a thousand years.”

“Will you stop pacing the fucking room? It’s making my head spin.” Regina snarked.

“Sorry.” Janis huffed, puffing out her cheeks as she rubbed her palms on the fabric of her pants. Janis knew the blonde always has a bit of an attitude but lately, it was horrendous if Janis was being honest. She’d made you cry for the first time since high school, well, in two years. Janis sat down, looking at her from the side, “So…I’m to ask her to marry me.”

“Yeah, no shit. You already said that like a minute ago when I asked you.”

You got an answer out of your sister yesterday about this attitude, it turns out that she was pregnant after three IVF attempts between her and Cady. Janis was there too when you asked, and as much as you both were thrilled about their hopes and dreams coming true, you were beginning to feel a little terrified of how mean your sister could get these days.

“Will you be okay if I go to New York with y/n for like a week or something? I wanna ask her there.”

“Why do you need to ask for my permission?” Regina squints.

“Because you’re pregnant?” Janis looked at her similarly.

“So? The symptoms haven’t been too bad. Me and Cady can manage.” Regina bit her lip to stop her voice from getting too loud.

“Alright.” Janis shrugged, “I’m still planning everything but I’ll let you and Cady know when we’re leaving.”

Regina shrugs, not saying anything.

“Why do you look so pissed?”

Regina chuckles dryly, “Because I am. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.”

“I’m sorry.” Janis inhales sharply, picking at the skin of her thumb.

Regina nearly snorted, “Not your fault.”

“I know that.” Janis bites back a laugh, her frame relaxing, “Just…I know it must be so exhausting with the morning sickness and all.”

“Yeah, and this is probably where you and my sister are headed in a few years. So…” Regina answered.

“Good point.” Janis gulped. Janis loved kids, but was going through a process where your bodies, your minds, your careers and lives changed something either of you would want?

“I’m scaring you.” Regina mentioned.

“We already know what it entails.” Janis sighs anyway, “Granted health class was shit, but we know still. Just…seeing someone in our lives going through it in real time just kind of freaks me out a little.”

“Well, take this time to learn, I guess. But no matter what, we’ll be there for you and y/n.” Regina exhales.

Janis took a deep breath, “Alright, I gotta go pick y/n up from therapy. I promised her lunch at the Mexican restaurant.”

Regina smiled, “Aw, you guys still go there?”

“Sure do.” Janis confirmed, “That’s where we had our first date. Kinda attached to that place already.”

“Have fun.” Regina smiled a little.

Janis smiled back, grabbing her phone, wallet and keys. As Janis opened the front door, Regina yelled, “Wait!”

Janis snapped her head back so quick, “What? What’s wrong?”

Regina laughs, “I’m fine.”

Janis rolled her eyes. ”What do you want?” The Hawaiian chuckled.

“Can you bring me back Cinnabon?” Regina asked hopefully.

“Which one?” Janis asked back, playing with the keys in her hand.

“Nutella. If they don’t have that one, original’s fine.”

“Alright.” Janis quirked a brow, “Anything else you need? We’re passing by a grocery store.”

“Nope, I’m good.” Regina decided, “Thanks, Jan.”

“Sure.” Janis said back, shaking her head slightly as a laugh fell from her lips, “See you guys in a few hours.”

Getting into the car, Janis firstly put on her favourite playlist once she started the engine. Driving towards your therapists’ office, she was met with smooth traffic so she was happy about that. But she was way happier to be getting to see you very soon. Look, it’s barely been an hour but she missed you nonetheless.

Janis parked in the lot, grabbing her phone from the stand and texting you so that you’d know she was here already.

A few minutes later, you walked out of the building and right up to her car. She unlocked the doors and you got into the front seat with her. “Hi honey.” She leaned over and kissed you on the lips. You kiss her back, smiling into it, “Hey.”

“Let’s go to lunch.” Janis grins, “Remind me to stop at Cinnabon because Regina asked me to bring her one back.”

“Okay.” You replied, chuckling. “Maybe we’ll get more because I feel like having Cinnabon too.”

“Sure honey.” She says, hand finding its way to your thigh as usual and giving it a squeeze.

————

“Coming back here always makes me a little emotional.” Janis admitted. “It’s been, what, um eight years? So much has changed around here but not this place.”

“I know, ipo.” You agreed, sitting down opposite of her, “We’re seated pretty close to the table we had on our first date.”

“Oh, we are.” Janis smiled, reaching forward for your hand to hold as you both skimmed the menu. “Should we get the usual?”

“Mm, maybe we could try something different. Usual desserts, though.” You suggested.

Janis’ lips tug into a smile, then she shuts the menu, “Okay, baby. Take your pick.”

You gasped softly, “Uh- no— you gotta pick too.”

She chuckles over her words. “We share anyway. But alright, I’ll pick one dish and you pick another.”

You smiled in return, “Okay.”

After both your orders were decided, Janis called a waiter over. “Ah, good to see you two again!” It was a guy that they’d see here most of the time.

“Hi, Todd.” You waved. He’s worked here since they opened, and is the husband of the owner of this restaurant. “What will you ladies be having today?”

Todd took the orders and sent it to the kitchen. Then Max, the owner, came by to say hi to you and Janis. “Hola, hola. Happy Friday.”

“Hey, Max.” You and Janis greeted him in unison.

“Dessert is on the house later, okay? The usual?”

“Anything new on the menu?” Janis joked.

“We do have a couple limited time items.” Max laughed, “You’re welcome to try them.”

“Well, we’re paying for those.” Janis quirked a brow.

“Fine, Janis.” Max bites back a laugh, “There’s no stopping you, isn’t there? So we’ll serve your usual chocoflan and one spiced chocolate brownie for you two to split.”

“Sounds amazing.” You agreed.

“Can we get some concha bread to go, as well?”

“For sure.”

Max got back to work, leaving you and Janis alone as someone brought by a couple of drinks for you and her. “Max! This is not on the house.” Janis huffed, “Please.”

“You’re our most loyal customers.” He laughed, amused. “Por favour, that’s nothing.”

Lunch was phenomenal, as usual. Then you two went ahead with some shopping before driving home. Or rather, window shopping. Not forgetting Regina’s request for a Cinnabon, of course.

“Hey, we’re back~ We have your Cinnabon.” You announced.

“Hi, baby.” Regina’s face lit up, “How was therapy?”

“Good.” You answered simply.

“Thanks for bringing me back the Cinnabon.” She walked over to the kitchen island to take a look, “Ooh, you guys got more than one?”

“Yeah, well— I felt like having it too.”

“Cady will be working late, so it’s just gonna be us for dinner.” Regina added on.

“Okay, so what are you craving?” Janis asked, trying not to laugh.

“Well, since you asked…” Regina answered seriously. “Spam fried rice.”

“Ask and you shall receive.” Janis said back comically.

You laughed and so did Regina. “Do we have seaweed sheets?”

“Yes we do, honey.” Janis nodded.

You hummed, nodding, “I’m gonna go take a shower real quick. Feeling a little sweaty.”

“Alright.” She pecks your cheek, “Be careful.”

“Mhm.”

Regina went around vacuuming the apartment once you turned the tap on. You then hear Janis reprimanding her for it. Chuckling to yourself, you carried on with your shower. This was typical Regina— always feeling like she had to do something even though she didn’t need to. But you knew a bit of household chores was fine for her.

You walked out of your shower, and the aroma of the Spam sizzling in the pan wafted through your nose. “Oh, that smells so good.”

“I know, right?!” Regina agreed enthusiastically, much to your shock. She wasn’t usually this…animated. Geez, you had to get used to this.

After dinner, came dessert— as requested by Regina. You wanted to skip it, but she convinced you. After all, who could say no to some ice cream after a long day? Anyway, after that, you retreated to your bedroom first. Regina followed suit soon after. Janis was in the kitchen washing up some dishes and wiping down surfaces.

Hearing the creak of the bedroom door, you looked up from your phone. Janis walks in with two mugs of teas. “Hey.” She smiled softly, “Made you your sleepytime tea.”

You put the device down, taking your mug from her, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” She smiled brighter, causing you to do the same.

“You’re such a softie.”

“The whole world doesn’t need to know.” She snickered.

“Well…” You teased playfully, “Our friends know.”

“Exactly!” She giggles. “Only some people know. But, mostly you.”

You took some sips and set the mug down on your nightstand then you were just staring into space for a few moments before Janis tapped your thigh to get your attention. You looked at her, “Yeah?”

“You good?”

You shrug, a dry chuckle falling from your lips as you picked at the corner of your eye, “Just been a long day, that’s all.”

“Aw.” Janis scooted closer to you, “Want a hug?”

You laughed, just like she hoped you would. A hug, to the both of you meant, you clinging onto her like a koala bear as always. It’s just become your thing after so many years. And given the insane comfort it brought you, it came naturally to Janis to do that for you. Sometimes when you needed it, other times just because. Janis puts her mug down too. Gesturing for you to climb onto her, she says, “Come on. Get on.” A cheeky grin on her face as she urged. You gave in, doing as she told you to. “Thank you.” You muttered as you sat in her lap, arms wrapped around her and chin on her shoulder. “Why do you keep doing this?”

“Because I love you.” She answered readily.

You scoffed, “I know I’m heavier than you are so this cannot be comfortable.”

“Shush.” She said seriously, “I’m strong.”

You smiled to yourself, letting that thought float away. “I’m very comfortable.” She rubs your back, “Hm?”

You nodded, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo, the laundry detergent on her clothes, the lingering musk of her perfume. All of those felt like extra hugs around you, allowing you to relax even further.

“For real, though. We’ll be doing this until we’re too old to move.”

“Wouldn’t say no to that.” You replied with a small laugh.

“You’ve never said no to this.” She smiled, unbeknownst to you. Then, she plants a kiss on your shoulder. “You have work tomorrow?”

“I didn’t. Got called in for seven hours tomorrow while I was waiting for you to pick me up from therapy.”

“It’ll be okay.” She says, palm still going up and down on your back. “I’ll make you Spam Musubi for your lunch? Do you want that for lunch?”

“You don’t have to. Sleep in.” You shook your head.

“Baby, I only asked if you wanted that for your lunch at work tomorrow.”

You bite back a laugh, “Yeah, I do.”

“M’kay.”

————

Behind you, you hear the front door opening while you tidied the apartment. Regina and Cady were home and someone was not happy. You hear a bag get tossed to the floor, then you saw it was Regina’s. You powered off the vacuum cleaner and turned around, looking at them, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“That depends. The appointment went really great, but lunch with mom made me want to puke up blood.” Regina snapped.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” You licked your lips, chewing on the lower one and walking over to her.

“We just wanted to wait until everything was stable before telling her. She got mad, and I’m oddly very upset by that.”

Cady rubs her back, “G, breathe. Let that go okay? It’s just your hormones making it a little bit different for you.”

“I’m trying.” Regina sighs, “I just…god, why do I feel so shitty? It’s not our fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Reg.” You gave her shoulder a squeeze, she hugs you from the side.

“I know, baby.” She exhales deeply, giving you a crooked smile, “I’ll be okay. Just gotta tough this one out.”

You nodded, “So…did you guys manage to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“It was a little early, but yeah actually.” Cady nodded.

“Oh, no way.” You gasped. Regina laughs, arm still across your shoulder. “So you guys know?”

They nodded, “Mhm.”

“Do you wanna know?” Regina asked, the smile on her face becoming wider.

You nodded in response, just as eager as your sister was.

“It’s a boy.”

Your eyes went wide, “It’s a boy?! Oh, my god— you were right.”

Cady laughs, “Yeah, she is right. In true Regina fashion.”

“Are you home alone?” Regina noticed.

“Yeah, Janis gets off work at 4:30.”

“Wait…didn’t you have a shift too?”

“Cads, I called in sick. Got someone to replace me.” You admitted. “I just…can’t today.”

“I get it, don’t worry. Take it easy today. Okay?” Cady flashed you a smile, “Should we do takeout for dinner?”

“Ooh.” Regina says, “Can we get Indian food from that place we like? I’m really craving some paneer tikka masala.”

“That sounds so good.” You chimed in.

“Okay!” Cady nodded, “Indian food it is. And y/n, go relax. I can finish vacuuming.”

You threw your hands up in mock defeat, “Alright, alright.”

“I’m gonna go take a shower. I smell like the clinic.” Regina scoffs, pressing a kiss to Cady’s cheek. The redhead laughs a little, “Okay, sweetheart. Be careful in there.”

You went to lay down while waiting for Janis to come home. Cady finished the rest of the chores in the meantime. You also texted Janis to let her know the dinner plan. But you were quick to doze off, Janis was the one who woke you up by walking into the room and changing her clothes. “Hi, honey.” She realises that you’d awoken.

“Hi.” You blocked a yawn with the back of your hand. “How was work?”

“It was…pretty chill. Not busy at all.” Janis shrugged, “You? Feeling any better?”

“No.” You huffed, rolling over onto your side to face her. As she pulled her t-shirt down, she was looking at you.

“Did you take a painkiller at least?” She sat down by you, eyes worried.

“Fuck sciatica.” You groaned, “How the fuck did I even get this?”

She doesn’t say anything, but her hand rests on your side, her thumb smoothing over the fabric of your shirt. “I’ll go grab the ibuprofen, okay? Sit up for me.”

You gave in, but was unhappy about. More so when you couldn’t go to work the next day too. When day three rolled around, you had enough of it and forced yourself to go to work. Let’s just say this— you wanted to cry. So much.

————

As Regina’s second trimester coming to a close, she and Cady were beginning to come up with a birth plan. While you obviously couldn’t be much help, you were still around and paying attention— whether intentionally or otherwise.

Coming home from your shift, the couple was still in discussion. “Hey!” Cady greets, “You’re home.”

“Hi, baby.” Regina’s ears perked up.

“Hey, guys.” You replied, kicking off your shoes and placing them on the shoerack. “Bought dinner. Pizza and cheesy bread.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Regina grins, “I love you.”

“Woah, what’s going on?” Janis came home right behind you. “Let the girl breathe, Regina.”

“Love you too, Reg.” You laugh, “But I would really like to go take a shower now.”

“Oh, right. Of course.” She lets go of you, “Hi, Jay.”

“What’s up? I mean, other than you nearly squeezing the oxygen out of your sister.” Janis’ smile became like a smirk as usual.

“Coming up with a birth plan is hardddd.” Regina grumbled.

“Not sure if I’d be much help, but what do you two have in mind so far?” Janis walks over to the couch, Regina followed on her tail and sat down.

“I would rather have her be in a hospital for but she doesn’t want to be in a hospital so that option’s out.” Cady began.

“It’s so serious and sterile.” Regina reasoned.

“Yeah. Well, I get it. I just want to play it safe, you know? I don’t want anything that isn’t supposed to happen, happening.”

“I get that too, but I just can’t see myself being comfortable in an environment like that— at all.” Regina continued.

“Since the both of you have been discussing this for the last week— nonstop, might I suggest a birth centre? Because usually, it’d be in the hospital’s compound. At least the one I saw.”

“You saw—”

“You guys left her laptop open that day!” Janis chuckles, “Seriously, I think it’d be a good fit for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna…go.”

Regina laughs, rolling her eyes. “Don’t fall in the shower.”

“We won’t.” Janis went along with it.

Cady leans her head on Regina’s shoulder, “Regina.”

“What? It’s slippery in there.” Regina smirked.

You hear the bathroom door open, then someone walks in. “Janis?”

“Yup.” She answered, pulling the shower curtain open. “Hi, baby~”

You shut the water off, then turned around to face her, “Hi.”

“Oh, no you don’t have to stop your shower.” She says, turning the water back on for you.

“Why are you in here with me, then?” You asked knowingly.

She smirked, a small laugh falls from her lips, “You know me. I love making you feel good.”

“I also know you’re very straightforward. But yet I blush like an idiot every time you do this.” You bite back a laugh.

“And I love that. You’re always gonna be a little intimidated by me? Good.” She teased.

“Intimidated? No way. Flustered, sure.” You retorted.

She laughs lowly, eyeing you up and down. Her hands almost too naturally finding their way to your breasts and squeezing them. Her finger circles your areola skilfully, eventually tugging onto the teat between two fingers. Her gaze was focused on you, she quirked a brow as her fingers moved…awaiting your reaction. Janis knew you, she knew that you were so, so sensitive there at the moment. During this time of the month. And that it was way too easy to rile you up. Now Janis was flush against you, her front pressing against yours. Her hand, sneaks its way down to your cunt, expertly gliding up and down your folds.

“Just as we expected, ipo.”

“Fuck...” You laughed breathily.

————

“Wait— Cady. Where are we going?!” You froze in your seat as you glared at the girl in the driver’s seat.

“We’re at the airport.” Janis laughed, absolutely amused.

“I know that but why the heck—”

“Because,” Janis took out both your passport and hers, “We are going to New York City.”

“No.” Your mouth hung agape.

“Surprise.” Janis shot back, “Come on, let’s go.”

“But Regina—”

“Regina is fine.” Cady quickly assured, “You’ll be back before you know it. She’s my wife.”

“Well, she’s my sister. And six months pregnant.” You sassed.

“Ooh.” Janis cackled. Cady had a similar reaction, “I promise you we’ll be calling and texting whenever.”

You ended up laughing because you could no longer keep a straight face, “Okay. I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“Bye, have fun!” Cady hugs both you and Janis, then checks that you’ve taken everything you needed.

The flight was only about two hours so it went by quickly. You watched a movie, Janis napped for about an hour. Then, she was snacking and shared it with you. You and Janis took the Airtrain into Manhattan from Jersey. It didn’t take long either, and wasn’t too bad since she packed light for the two of you. After leaving the luggages in the townhouse— thanks, Gretchen. It was time for lunch.

“So…after lunch, I have someplace cool I wanna take you.” Janis mentioned, excited.

“Okay.” You nodded, your smile matching her excitement.

“Are you cold?” Janis noticed.

“I already have my flannel —”

“Wear your coat.” She insisted. You complied, “Okay.”

Satisfied, she doesn’t say anything else and continued eating her lunch. You do the same, of course…all while looking out the window and taking in the hustle and bustle of this beloved city.

With a matcha latte in hand, you and Janis walked through street after street eventually getting on the subway. “We’re going to an art gallery.” She revealed, “They’re showing my art.”

“You told me that was next month. Back home.”

Janis explained, “There’s been a change of plans. Decided to do that here instead.”

Apparently, you two got there right as the exhibition opened. There were a handful of staff around, a few people streamed in after you guys arrived. “Oh. Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful.” You stopped at the first painting, holding onto Janis’ hand. She gives your hand a squeeze, “Already impressed?”

“I’m always impressed with your art.” You brushed your thumb over hers. It was a painting of a beach, you immediately recognised it. It was her favourite beach back in Hawai’i. The next one was a sketch of a couple of ice creams. Your favourite flavour and Janis’. You really liked this detail. Artwork three— embroidered leis. “You can touch it.” Janis bites back a laugh.

“The sign—”

“Doesn’t apply to you.” She swung your hand as she pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“I really, really love all of this already.”

“Good news is, after this, we’re getting most of them back.”

“Oh— my god. Jan, this…this is the carnival we went to. Our first date.”

Every single painting was…about you. Hawai’i— that trip you guys took with Cady and Regina. The carnival— first date. Why? Janis had artwork more than these that were just about you.

Even those plums she gave you when you were so sick with that stomach bug were drawn. That god awful two days was captured in that art. The pure chaos, and the calm after that storm. You could not look away. Now, another embroidered piece— your frog squishmallow and Janis’ one and only stuffed animal: an orange tabby cat she’d gotten as a kid.

A photo: the North Shore gymnasium. Confetti, Deck of cards and dice on the floor. You gasped, “Oh.” Sniffling, you squeezed her hand.

Papier-mâché of Fruit Loop. That made you chuckle. It was adorable. “Are those paper wrappers from the taco place?”

“Yep.” She confirms, “Because he ate our taco that time we had dinner with Regina and Cady.”

You felt her turn into a different direction so you followed her lead. A dimmer section. The first photo melted your heart from the get-go. She must’ve gotten this one from your Mom. It was a photo of Regina and Janis’ first play date. And already, you were stuck to Janis’ side, holding her hand.

Then it was a photo from the first birthday they celebrated together. Again, you were there. Barely, but there. By Janis.

Their first day of elementary school photo.

First day of middle school.

Night of the sleepover that changed everything.

The next few photos were a little heavy, a couple of them you’ve not seen before. But it showed you even more vulnerability from Janis. Even then, they were gorgeous photos that really spoke a thousand words she wasn’t able to at the time.

Then…a framed newspaper from the day you started high school. Following that, a screenshot of your chat with Janis that night before the carnival.

That wasn’t the end, nope. She had you in tears, full on. A photo of you that she took while you were in that Ferris wheel with her. You’ve seen some shots from here but never this one. The little description block says, ‘So peaceful despite the noise of the carnival. You never would’ve guessed she was terrified of heights. Here’s where I fell in love, because at that moment, all I could see was her.’ You leaned onto Janis as you stood rooted to the ground, looking at this particular photograph for a little longer.

A photo of you, asleep, hugging that squishmallow she got you. ‘You crush on the version of them you first lay your eyes on, but how things go depends on whether you’re tripping over each other’s stuff or unpacking them together. I know that little girl in her is safe with me.’

A framed letter from you. ‘Janis, happy birthday. I love you more than anything. I know, it’s easy to say that. But I mean that, and I hope you know that. When I’m with you, everything feels so different. You make me feel loved, and seen and heard, all the things I never was before I met you. It feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime. I have so much to say to you, but I can never really articulate it. I’ve never really been good at that. So I hope you feel that through my hugs and my kisses. Maybe we have known each other for a lifetime, and more. Maybe our current lives are our future selves’ past lives. So, thank you for showing me that there’s so much good in the world in the simple things…coming on this journey together with me, living a life that we’re proud of. That we never waste a single moment of. That is filled with precious moments and meaningful lessons. With you, I would go through it all over again. And again. And again. Because you, Aleka Janis ‘Imi’ike, are my girl. I love you so very much, ipo.’

“I look ridiculous right now.” You muttered, wiping away your tears.

She sniffled, rubbing your shoulder, “No, you don’t. Okay, let’s walk.”

A painting of a hospital wristband. It seemingly had your details on it but scribbled away. A band aid stuck on a part of it, and a couple of stickers. Little things from that hospital visit were on there. That was from your first hospital stay ever. You were absolutely terrified and was way too anxious. Janis was with you throughout the whole three days— she didn’t leave your side once. You had to get your appendix removed, and that hospitalisation was nothing short of chaotic. You remember being scared and confused but everything was okay because Janis was there. She kept you company, chatted with you, watched Friends with you, made sure you ate, held your hair back every single time you had to throw up from the side effect of the anaesthetic. Janis made sure you knew you weren’t alone.

A photo collage of photos from the past valentine’s days. Photos of you and Janis on a date every year you’ve been together— In Chicago, Hawai’i, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Queenstown.

“I literally— okay, I can’t stop crying.” You hid your face in her shoulder. “Can we stop just—”

Janis kisses the crown of your head, calmly leading you to the next artwork. Painting of a flower arch— yellow hibiscus and sweet pea. You squint, trying to rid your eyes of the tears. “Uh—”

Janis lets go off you, you turned to face her but she was gone. The space next to you was pitch black. But it didn’t take more than a second of two for that space to be illuminated by warm, cozy lights. Fairy lights.

Someone held onto your hand, forcing you to look down. It was Janis, knelt down on one knee. “y/n, I cannot imagine a life without you. I truly feel like I’ve known you for lifetimes…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t wish to go through all of this with anyone else. It’s always been you, my love. It’s always been you.”

The wall behind Janis got relit— it was a projection of all the artworks you just saw lined up, some having one focal point. A letter. Letters that spelled out ‘Marry me?’

“Will you, y/n y/l/n, do me the honour of becoming my partner for life?”

You were sobbing at this point, overcome with emotions — mainly disbelief and joy.

“Yes. Yes!” You cried, letting out a shaky exhale. Janis slides the ring into your ring finger then quickly got up to hug you. You hugged her so tightly, “Oh, my God. I love you. I love you so much.”

She rubs your back, pulled away from the embrace and pulls you back in for a long kiss. “I love you more than you know.”

“Oh, my god.” You mumbled, “I can’t— I can’t believe this.” Janis holds your face in her hands, brushing the tears away.

“Surprise.”

You laughed tearfully, nodding your head. Letting out a heavy breath, you hugged her again. “I’m so in love with you.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

The series is back!:’)

[missinghan]

「 lee minho, (god)father at 800 years old 」

⤷ from the world of ‘your heart & your headache, too.’

◦ tw : slight swearing, chaos that comes with babysitting, mc sort of passing out at the end (out of exhaustion and anger)

It’s Lee Minho’s first day on his job as a babysitter. He sounds stressed when you pick up the phone. 

“Y/N, what am I supposed to do with these little demons,” Minho says, he’s starting to sound near tears now. “I haven’t got any sleep for three days already.”

If you were nicer (less tired), you might ask him why and sit up to drive over to his place to help. You might even laugh because for someone like Minho, who used to and still exorcises demons for a living because he’s quite literally a god who was banished from Heaven, to call Hyunjin and Felix little demons and make no attempt to hide his fear for them is laughable. 

However, you spent the entirety of last night finishing marking all of the midterms for your professor’s psych course, fueled by sheer spite and caffeine. You think you might suffer from a heart attack if you move the slightest inch right now. 

“They won’t let me sleep yet somehow they still get more sleep than I do, how is that fair!!” Minho is on the verge of pleading for mercy, you can feel it.

“Sounds tough on your end,” you hum, curling up on the couch while Jisung makes popcorn in the kitchen. “Maybe lay down and take a nap?”

“Felix broke a light bulb and Hyunjin tried to glue it back together and now he’s got glass in his fingers—“

“Y/N!!!” Jisung’s voice is suddenly coming from the bathroom now. “There’s no more toilet paper on the roll!”

“I was looking for a first aid kit and when I turned around the piece of glass was gone—“

“Han, go get it yourself. It’s on the second shelf of the right drawer,” you echo back while covering your phone’s speaker.

To your dismay, Jisung thinks his matter at hand is more important than your much-needed rest. “But I’m taking a shit!”

“Hyunjin said he ate it—“

Minho has thought leaving Jisung at your place is a good idea for two reasons. Firstly, he doesn’t trust Jisung with kids because Jisung is apparently a descendant of the ancient vermillion which he has hatched from an egg, extracted his soul into a blade, and then nurtured him inside his spine for at least a hundred years. Simply put, Jisung is a spoiled bird who takes immense joy out of making Minho miserable. And secondly, he knows Jisung has a soft spot for you.

“Why can’t you just turn into a bird and then go take a shit outside? I have a bidet for a reason, what the fuck,” you mumble the last part, limply rolling your neck away from the direction of the bathroom. 

“—and now Felix won’t quit crying because I told him the doctors might have to slice Hyunjin’s stomach open so he might possibly die—Y/N, are you listening to me???”

“What, yeah, yeah, I’m listening, I'm listening. I’m so listening, uh huh,” you reply distractedly. It takes a full inhale and exhale for you to register what just happened. You gather every last inch of patience you can muster in the fibers of your body. “Minho, you’re not supposed to say that to a kid.”

“And he was not supposed to believe me when I said so!!”

You think Minho has begun stress-crying at some point amidst the conversation. “So did Felix actually swallow the piece of glass or…?

“You weren’t fucking listening! Hyunjin was the one who claimed he had swallowed a piece of glass but he just confessed it was a prank—“

You hear a certain noise coming from the bathroom so you lean over once again to shout with any last dying breaths that are still there, “Han Jisung, if you get water on the bathroom floor I will pluck every single one of your feathers!!!”

To your absolute horror, Jisung walks out of the bathroom with toilet paper wrapped all around him. “I did get water on the floor,” he says with a start. “But I found the roll of toilet paper like you told me to…”

You lift a brow, expecting more elaboration.

“I tripped,” Jisung admits.

“And now Hyunjin just stepped on yet another piece of glass! I’ve got two crying kids here. Y/N, I need your help, I seriously need you—“

Kids are crying. Minho is in distress, or more like despair. And Jisung is showing off his new look as if he’s too dirt-broke to buy a proper Halloween costume. But then again, Halloween was months ago and apparently no one is sane anymore in this fucking household (yes you are factoring yourself into the equation). 

“I think I might actually die and that is coming from an immortal god!!”

“Drop dead, then,” you mutter and hang up.

Jisung has disappeared from your viewpoint. He pokes his head out of the bathroom seconds later after a faint thud can be heard. “I spilled your favorite hand soap,” he informs you seriously because he knows how much you love that hand soap and it is unfortunately discontinued.

“Forget it,” you say lifelessly. Seriously, forget it. Forget driving over to Lee Minho’s place and lending him a hand. Forget forcing Han Jisung to clean up after himself. Forget turning in that one philosophy essay two days early. Forget the merits and legality of murdering a god. 

Forget it, you think tiredly as sleep hovers its gentle hands over your eyes.

[popcorn-plots]

midnight snack

Stephen sipped at his cocktail, watching the scene before him. It wasn’t much, just a few people crowded in the top deck, swaying to the last song of the night. The inky black water was silent a few stories beneath them, cold wind rustling Stephen’s hair. There were one or two other people at the cafeteria with him, one obviously tipsy and the other nearly asleep on their feet. Sometimes, Stephen liked to speculate on their stories – who they were, what got them to this point. Right now, he was too tired.

It was either listening to the too-loud music with a martini in hand, sitting alone in the cold night air, or going back to his room where nightmares lurked at every corner. Despite the exhaustion, Stephen preferred the martini.

The music stopped and the DJ shouted something unintelligible over the speakers. The tired man near him wobbled down the stairs, drunk girl in tow. Someone cursed. Stephen finished his drink and set it down.

He thought about ordering another one, but the cafeteria was bound to be closing soon – it was 2 AM – and he didn’t feel like getting drunk. Drunk meant the nightmares couldn’t wake him up. He felt a little bad for leaving Christine alone in the room, but she had always been a deep sleeper.

There were footsteps on the stairs and a voice. “Hey, Stranger”

Stephen looked up. Tony Stark was standing above him. “Stark.”

“What are you doing up?” Stark asked.

“What are you doing up?” Stephen responded. Stark laughed and Stephen couldn’t help but grin. He had hated the man for most of his career, and for the first few days of the cruise, but he couldn’t help but admit that there had been some sort of chemistry between them (after his initial disbelief that Tony Stark, of all people, was on his cruise ship). Christine and Pepper hit it off immediately and after a few drinks and meals together, Tony and Stephen had settled on light banter instead of huge arguments. For their Scary Female Friends, they decided.

“Nightmares.” Stark finally admitted. “Mind if I sit?”

“No, not at all. Sit away.” Stark chuckled and sat down. There was a long silence that wasn’t exactly uncomfortable. “Nightmares for me, too. Even in paradise, they still haunt me.” For a moment, Stephen wished he had another martini. In a moment of inspiration, he asked Stark if he wanted one.

“No thanks. Three years sober tomorrow.” Stark explained. Stephen hummed.

Another silence fell between them and Stephen looked down at his hands. He shivered slightly, the chill having finally penetrated his nightshirt. Stark sighed. “I… there’s a lot of evidence that prove that sleeping with someone–”

“If you’re asking if you can fuck me, Stark, the answer is yes. You’re handsome, and while part of me still hates you, another part of me enjoys your company and… I’m intrigued.”

Stark laughed and held up a finger. “Firstly, call me Tony.”

“Then call me Stephen.”

“Secondly, I’d have to buy you dinner before. Sex is a third-date kind of thing. I’m a gentleman, not a monster.”  Stephen raised an eyebrow, fighting to keep the blush away from his face at the fact that Star– Tony didn’t exactly deny his sex accusation. 

“Thirdly, I was saying that studies have shown that sleep quality improves when you literally sleep with a partner. I was going to say that while we haven’t been friends for that long, we've established that we both have nightmares and maybe we could give that a shot and see what happens.”

Stephen took a second to think. “Then you'd better ask me out first, douchebag.”

Tony laughed. It was louder this time, more free and a lot more contagious. Stephen began to chuckle as well, until they were both nearly howling with laughter. Tony had to wipe tears from his eyes before he could respond. 

“Fine." Tony slid onto one knee in front of Stephen's chair, cupping his hands in the air as if he was proposing. “Stephen Strange, will you go out with me and find some weird cruise ship sandwiches so I can literally take you to bed?”

Stephen pretending to fan his face, grinning. “I would be honored.”

Tony grinned, stood up, and held out his arm to help Stephen up. Arm in arm, they made their way to the food bar.

The next morning, Stephen woke up secured in Tony’s arms, never wanting to leave. He hadn’t had a single nightmare, and he started the day refreshed and relaxed for the first time since high school. Tony admitted that he felt the same way and they found breakfast together -- without their Scary Female Friends this time.

Then they got lunch, then dinner, and exchanged numbers. Stephen finally got the fucking he had talked about a week later and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Ten years later, Tony proposed on that same cruise ship, at 2 AM, and with a cucumber sandwich (he proposed again in Italy, on the Rialto Bridge, with an actual ring). Stephen never slept alone again.

Ao3

[circeius-invidioso]

I am so unbelievably fucking tired of people on reddit being like...

Why square bases? They aren't allowed in the wargame.

You can't play competitive with square bases!

Square bases are against the rules, you can't have them! You need to remove them and put them on round ones!

Square bases are for display only!

And 20 more variations to that.

Firstly

no

Secondly

There are more ways to play games in the 40k setting besides competitive and the latest ruleset of the wargame.

A small and not complete list is.

1) Narrative play, where the rules are loose and the victory is not as important as the "just having a beer with the buds while having fun"

2) Space Hulk, where its more important where the mini is pointed than the shape of the base.

3) Rogue Trader, the tabletop rpg. Where the shape of the base is the least of our worries.

4) Dark Heresy, the tabletop rpg again. Where the shape of the base is not very important. Again what are the odds.

5) Deathwatch, another tabletop rpg. I won't repeat myself you get it.

6) Black Crusade, see above. Again.

And the list could go on but I am not that petty...

Well actually I am so let's continue.

7) A Dnd module, because 40k is not only a wargame it's also a setting and what if I want to play a dnd game and my character to be a dazzling space monk in chrome. Who will stop me? The fun police?

8) A wargame with friends, because everyone can indeed be fine with me having square bases and we count distances from the middle of the mini. Why not? Who is going to stop us? The thot police?

9) Wrath and Glory, another tabletop rpg set in the 40k universe.

10) A custom module of Shadow of the Demon Lord, it's weirdly and oddly fitting for grey knights. I don't know, maybe I am just insane but I liked it.

And I could go on.

Because again, 40k is a setting not a ruleset.

You can take the minis you bought and do with them as you please. Paint them, keep them in a cave, even eat them if you have the stomach for it.

I am just exhausted of having to explain my choices time after time.

Not everyone in the community plays the wargame. And that is ok.

We exist. We might be few and far between but we exist dammit.

I don't know what kind of fumes they are huffing in there and are so comfortable popping out of the bushes being like

You can't do that. You will not he allowed in a tournament with those bases.

Maybe I don't give a single flying and swimming duck about competitive, Kyle.

Maybe I play the rpgs, Kyle.

Maybe I am not going on a tournament, Kyle. I didn't ask for advice for tournament rules, Kyle.

I swear if this stick continues for the rest of the year Imma start designing a tabletop game where you can only use square bases for your minis.

Old world style.

Space hulk on speed.

Pen and paper Ultrakill.

Roided out dnd.

The sky is the limit.

God is dead.

🌈And the wargame is not the only option if you want to play a tabletop game in the 40k setting.🌈

[mitchelljoni]

i am fucking loving your fic but i don’t know much about this kind of music, do you happen to have a playlist? i would love to listen

omg Yes lol this is the ideal ask to receive....firstly so glad ur enjoying the fic. secondly, i am by no means an expert (classical music is not my...forte) but this is just stuff i like/i think most people enjoy/know...it's not an exhaustive list. it is probably impossible to make an exhaustive list!! I am sure there are millions of people out there who could do a better answer to this qn (some of them will probably see this) so im mostly just gonna link the pieces that are mentioned (so far) in the fic and then maybe a few of my Favs...

mentioned in the fic

George Gershwin, Concerto in F (what Rhaenyra is set to play for the King's Landing concert) - this recording with Jon Nakamatsu on the piano and the Rochester Philharmonic is probably the best one (it's the first one I ever heard I think) but a personal fav of mine is Andre Previn with the LSO

George Gershwin, Rhapsody in Blue (what everyone bitches is better than the Concerto in F lol) - again, Previn does a lovely version of this, Jon Nakamatsu's is also great, and I would be remiss not to mention Leonard Bernstein's version

Tchaikovsky, Symphony No 6 ('Pathétique') (what they are rehearsing at the beginning) - just linking the NY Philharmonic conducted by Bernstein because it's soooooo cool that you can deadass just watch it on Youtube...

Edvard Grieg, Piano Concerto in A Minor, Op 16 (what Rhaenyra tells Viserys she wants to play for the tour/she told Alicent she was always going to play w her conducting) - I think Alice Sara Ott's interpretation is mega, I tend to listen to her playing w the Bavarian Radio Symphony Orch but couldnt find it in my v cursive search on YT so the link is to her with the Danish National Symphony Orch

Sergei Rachmaninoff, Piano Concerto No 2 in C Minor (what Rhaenyra was playing at the Eyrie that she then got up and stopped playing) - you almost definitely know this one!!!! The music from the second movement is aggressively interpolated into All by Myself by Eric Carmen lol. Ive linked a Khatia Buniatishvili version (of the second movement) bc it's like...perfect imo also she looks amazing. not the point but still

Sergei Rachmaninoff, Piano Concerto No 3 in D Minor (what Alicent suggests that Rhaenyra plays for the Sunspear concerts) - this is basically famous for being like the hardest piano concerto in history!!! it rocks. every movement is a banger. linked Yuja Wang bc noooo one is doing it like her. also, another slayful dress moment!

Tchaikovsky, Piano Concerto No 1 in B Flat Minor (what Alicent also suggests Rhaenyra plays but Viserys rejects) - another Alice Sara Ott win...

Mozart, Piano Concerto No 21 in C Major (what Alicent remembers watching Rhaenyra playing etc) - loveeee this recording:)

Chopin, Nocturnes (what Alicent finds a copy of in the practice room) - honestly I just went ahead and linked all of them. pick your fav! probably the 22nd is not in this compilation but that's bc no one likes it and everyone thinks it's not rlly his since they found it later :/ awkward

Beethoven, Piano Concerto No 5 in E Flat Major ('Emperor') (what Rhaenyra played however many years ago that Alicent pretended to have never heard) - I think Hélène Grimaud plays this especially well so it's the one i linked. oldie but a goodie! but really any are good

Bach, Prelude 1 in C Major (first of Rhaenyra's soul-soothing classics) - Lang Lang <3

Bill Evans, Peace Piece (second of Rhaenyra's soul-soothing classics) - this is jazz, which I am actually FAR more equipped to talk about, but i have for some reason shackled myself to writing about classical music so....anyway she doesnt mention it by name but shes talking about Peace Piece. everybody DOES dig bill evans

Claude Debussy, Rêverie (third of Rhaenyra's soul-soothing classics) - Lang Lang x2 <3

Jules Massenet, Meditation from Thaïs (fourth of Rhaenyra's soul soothing classics) - honestly this piece is such a classic lol. everytime i hear it im like Wow Religious Experience much??? anyway it's actually from an opera (Thaǐs) so some versions have some quiet vocalising in the bg. which is nice if it's ur bag tbf. ive linked a nicola benedetti version bc i love her and also bc this one is just piano and violin which is what i envisioned w alicent and rhaenyra

vaguely mentioned in the fic/will be shortly

Felix Mendelssohn, Violin Concerto in E Minor, Op 64 (Rhaenys's solo violin appearance)

Edward Elgar, Cello Concerto in E Minor (Addam's solo cello appearance, one of my favourites in the world!)

Franz Liszt, Les préludes

Franz Schubert, Symphony No 9 in C Major

Jean Sibelius, Symphony No 1 in E Minor

Florence Price, Symphony No 3 in C Minor

Leonard Bernstein, Candide

ones i just like (this is not a list of the world's most exceptional classical music. i just like these ones)

Maurice Ravel, Pavane pour une infante défunte

Antonín Dvořák, Silent Woods

Dmitri Shostakovich, Piano Concerto No 2 in F Major and also all his jazz suites. love him

Like anything by Philip Glass

Hector Berlioz, Symphonie fantastique, Op 14

Felix Mendelssohn, Violin Concerto in E Minor, Op 64

Mahler!! All of Mahler!!

ive left out like the biggies like swan lake and the planets and mozart's symphony no 40 etc bc i feel like you will come across those v quickly...also i am actually a choral singer so I havent gotten into all that bc my playlist of THAT music is genuinely 8 hrs long which would need a whole other post.

so TLDR: this is a weird, selective, and not at all representative list of music you might want to listen to. Enjoy !

lol but in all seriousness, if u end up wanting to get into classical music, just sticking on any classical radio station is usually a good way to go, BBC Radio 3 is EVERYTHING to me, shes v important<3 also, in terms of streaming services, most are honestly p rubbish when it comes to classical music but apple music have a 'classical' app which is like the only decent way to stream classical music without literally wanting to scream in confusion imo. so if u happen to have apple music it comes w ur subscription and is good! ok i hope this helps and once again glad ur enjoying da fic :)

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Your previous post regarding burnout really resonates with me as I'm currently struggling through a mountain's worth of uni assignments.

I hopeyou're being compassionate to yourself where you can. I know you rely on your writing for income but ould cutting down to working on only 2 or 3 fics instead be a viable solution?

Because longterm I don't think that even your insanely impressive skills can hold up to that kind of pressure.

Maybe if you cut back a little you'll be able to enjoy your hobbies again and rest a little more.

I know that I'm not the only reader that wants you to take care of yourself x

Hi anon,

Firstly, good luck with all those assignments! I do not miss the grind of uni when all the assignments suddenly seem due at the same time and it's like 'oh fuck' and it just...is truly exhausting. Remember to take a break after if you can!

I am trying to be compassionate where I can. Working on expanding my capacity / juice left in the tank is actually a big priority with both therapists this year, and it's something I'm actively chipping away at.

Unfortunately cutting down fics is not really something I can do because it would personally stress me out more to put a lot of things on hiatus like that. Underline the Red is already on hiatus, and The Nascent Diplomat on my end is finished, and I'll take a few months off after that before starting the next installment.

Ideally I will be finishing out some fics that will clear my calendar a bit more over time. For example, A Stain that Won't Dissolve won't last forever, and isn't going to be replaced by anything new (Palmarosa will likely slot into that space and I'll be able to work on it more). Underline the Black will be replaced by Underline the Red, and Blue and Gold will be replaced by Underline the Silver.

Eventually, ideally, I'll be working on a smaller and smaller load until I'm at about 2-4 projects (which is how I used to work). Also quite a few of my projects only update once a month or every few months, and that helps a lot. It's just that I have too many fics where I'm on a more regular schedule (Stain, Palm, Black) and normally I only have one or two fics that are on a more regular schedule, so yeah, I am looking forward to that slowing down!

But putting something on hiatus just makes me feel more burdened and overwhelmed than knowing I'm getting closer and closer to wrapping something up. It's just how my brain works! I am a finisher, and while that's really good for not abandoning projects (which is extremely rare for me and tends to only be very short projects or PWPs which I will turn away from), it's less good when I have too many projects lmao. I've gotten better at holding back (there's three fics I'm dying to write right now, which is an Efnisien/Kadek fic that I've already started but not posted anything of, Silver, and Red).

So yeah, I will be cutting back. I've already started. The Nascent Diplomat is no longer on my schedule, which means for the next 3 months while it's still posting, I don't have to write anything for it. That's lovely because I can still share in that world with no extra labour (it's edited and everything). Likewise, Stain and Black are both in their last act/s now. That's still a lot of chapters for both, but it feels good for me to know that both will likely be finished out this year.

But we are getting there! So yeah the view is to cut down on projects, but organically (by finishing out stories and not replacing every single one with new titles, only some of them) rather than forcefully via hiatuses. I mean obviously if I get too sick I will have to go on hiatus and I've done that before, but so far it's looking like I've written enough chapters ahead (most of May is written) that I can take about 2 weeks off from writing in April, and that will help a great deal as well. :)

Anyway, take care with your assignments too! I do not miss that part of uni at all

[completely-real-and-normal-human]

Why I, Tumblr User Completely-Real-And-Normal-Human, Am a Monsterfucker: A Non-Exhaustive Manifesto

I’m not even sorry.

First of all: Micheal Distortion, from TMA. Fuck-Hands Mc Mike. Mikey-What-Those-Fingers-Do. He of the gaping corridors, and hopefully gaping holes. What on earth is he doing behind all those closed doors? Or, as the case may be, who is he doing?

the answer is me it’s me he’s fucking me

(Art by CountSlimula on Twitter)

I don’t really think I need to explain myself here. But in case I do, there are two main things I find remarkably attractive about Micheal (that I can adequately articulate): its voice and its hands.

Let’s start with his voice. Micheal’s voice is static-y and warping and always slightly amused. Now THAT is the kind of voice I’d want whispering sweet nothings in my ear. And that’s without even mentioning his laugh — god, can you even IMAGINE what his moans would sound like? Perfection.

Then there’s his hands. You can’t really see it in the first picture, so here’s another one.

(Art by Creativelea2 on Twitter)

He has fingers. I have holes. Enough said, I think.

Next, also a character from TMA, we have one Jared Hopworth. The Bone-Turner. Maker of Menacingly Meaty Murmurs. A man who owns, in all likelihood, a briefcase of carefully selected cocks.

(Art by @neonjawbone)

I’m sure it comes as a surprise to no one that I thoroughly enjoy a good pair of pecs. Jared probably has more than one pair, actually, so that’s several plus points right there. Here, finally, is a man who does body-building right.

As with Micheal, there is also the question of his voice. It’s deep, rumbling, gravelly… the kind of thing I want to hear when he’s busy splitting me in half, you know?

Finally, there’s the multiple limbs. He’d know what to do with all those hands, I’m sure. They’d hardly be lying idle.

Onwards! This time it’s Yaretzi, from Hello From The Hallowoods. Starwolf. Covenant of Tolshetol Who Guards A Thousand Suns. Loving coparent of a large metal son.

(Art by @cotton-glass)

She’s a werewolf, which maybe puts her more into ‘furry’ territory rather than ‘monsterfucker’, but we ball.

Firstly, while Yaretzi is an undeniably sweet person, she’s also fairly terrifying. And ‘women who could kill me’ are fairly high on my list of attractions. Secondly, her voice (again, I know, but most of the media I consume are podcasts so deal, I guess). It’s just the right shade of deep and soft. Amazing.

Also I want her to bite me.

There are more examples, but we’ll be here forever if I try listing them, so I’ll leave it there. I could go into detail about the deeper meaning behind my attraction to these beautiful beasties, but I’m going to see how the masses respond to this first. Besides, this has been in my drafts for entirely too long and I just want to post it at this stage.

(Shoutout to @zombieesc. Thanks for the monsterfucker hype, my friend.)

Edit: I’m a minor, so feel free to rb this post talking about how much you like any of the characters I’ve mentioned, but keep it reasonably PG.

[14dayswithyou]

hi. /homosexually 🥺❤️ i couldnt pick one so just do your favourite !! ♡♡ also lowkey half of these are angst fuel LMFAO?

for Leon.

"feelings change, but mine about you wont" / "i am so exhausted, but i'd sleep so much better with your arms around me"

for Jae

"I'm always going to support you. without even a second thought, I'll be there when you need me. I want what's best for you." / "let's sleep together under the stars."

for You <3

"hey, guess what? i love you" ♡♡♡♡

Soft spot prompts | No longer accepting !!

Omgggg Puppy hiiiii >:3 <- with homosexual rizz <3 I did them all because you are my favourite + I love being Silly teehee

Under a "read more" because it got long!!

001.

"Just like old times, yeah?"

It was probably illegal to camp out in the woods near the lake you used to frequent as kids, but Leon was adamant on holding onto your childhood tradition ever since he returned from overseas. The Davis family always enjoyed camping with you — even as kids — but the fact that Leon had you all to himself this time made the moment even better.

This time, his dad wasn't around to ask if you wanted to go fishing. This time, his mum wasn't popping in every 10 minutes to see if you wanted any snacks. It was just you and Leon; with your limbs tangled together inside of a swag that felt far too big for just two people.

A beat passes as you both stare at each other, before the soft pitter patter of rain bounces off the the tent roof and breaks the silence. And just like how the sky opened up, Leon finds himself wanting to speak what's on his mind as well.

"My feelings for you never changed either. Even when I was back in Australia, all I ever thought about was you." He shuffles closer, "But we're reunited again, aren't we? This time, I'm not going anywhere. I belong by your side."

Your matching bracelets intertwine once Leon reaches out for your hand — much like your feelings for each other.

002.

"Haha! That one kinda looks like Teo and his pointy nose!"

It was certainly uncomfortable laying in the back of Jae's beat-up truck, but his company made it all worth it. He'd thrown in a couple of pillows and a wooly blanket over the both of you earlier, but it was only now that you started to feel the biting sting of Colrand Bay's Autumn breeze.

But the stars were pretty and the cityscape view made it all better.

"Y'know, we are sooo going to get kidnapped later..." Jae cracks a joke from beside you, "But I'll have you to support me, right? I'll offer our kidnapper my left kidney and you'll offer to pay ransom?"

Support. That's all he's ever wanted from his friends. Someone who'd be there to love and accept him for all that he was — flaws and all. Jae didn't know if he truly felt like himself yet, but he was grateful to have you by his side for every step of the way. And he was determined to do the same for you.

"Thank you, Nate. I mean it."

003.

"Omgggg wait, really? That's sooooo crazy!!"

Deciding that your words were truthful, Saint puts the unused bone saw away and unchains your arms from the table. You finally get a moment to stretch out your tired limbs, as she casually skips her way to the mod cell door to unlock it and let the light in.

The rest of the mods are waiting for you upstairs, obviously used to seeing this kind of behaviour already.

"It only took like, two days for the Stockholm syndrome to kick in! That cute doctor said it'd take at least five..." You can hear her ponder from the staircase, "But aaaa it doesn't matter!! I love you too!! ^^ Wanna go to the beach to celebrate? Maybe Jae and Leon will be there!!"

Firstly, how the fuck did they say "^^" out loud... And secondly, why is Emile in her basement as well.......

[artfightdramaconfessions]

Pouring out a bit of tea I am very excited for AF, can't wait to whammy the homies and lovely strangers with art - but I am also super excited for especially day 1 of Artfight. Mainly bc my first move will be to delete some artworks I made for a toxic person i went no contact with a long time ago that still tries to start shit and cannot wrap their head around the fact that someone who goes no contact with you does not owe you an explanation or exit interview about why they are running over that burning bridge and straight for the hills.

Technically I stay far away from them and do neither engage nor seek out their socials for my own piece of mind got them blocked everywhere and all that good shit but I heard through the grapevine plenty of stuff about the one sided online drama they tried to start to smear my name (which did not work. Pro-tip: not engaging not speaking up online about a private issue that should've stayed between two people works like a charm. If you say nothing to blow that drama up even further than the other person tries to provoke, you win. You win bc people get tired of their apparently one-sided drama and hate crusade real quick and do not even need your side to understand why you might've chosen to go no contact in the first place. Toxic people tell on themselves real fast) But why delete the artwork then, you might wonder. Well, turns out this person left some petty messages in the private comment section of their attacks for other people who did not entertain their bs aka "choosing their side", therefore, obviously that means they are on my side and thus enemies. So I got tempted. I checked. They unblocked me on AF specifically so I would be able to see the petty lil messages they left beneath the attacks they made for me. Apparently they did this in other places too but the AF one stands out by the act of unblocking my account so I would be able to see it. This is some teenager/early twenties drama behaviour that I am simply too old for. I have a life and a job and no time for this. I assume they hope to bait me into blowing up on my socials or something or reach out to them. It is bait, clumsy bait. Had better by worse people in the past. The idea that I've been living rentfree in their head for such a long time, that they still try to get my attention and a response is so wild to me. If they invested that kinda energy they use in stalking my shit and trying to get me to respond into, oh, I don't know, maybe getting better and dealing with their issues, who knows where they could be in this moment in time. Wild concept. But yeah long story short. I wanna get rid of these artworks firstly for my own peace of mind. Close that chapter one more time with feeling. But a petty part of me that is tired and exhausted with their shit hopes it makes em blow up a bit. Just a little fuck you for the road. (do not post publicly if not anon)

.

[simplysnaps]

Sorry if this is a dumb question but as someone who's kinda dreading the career they went to school for (I went for art) and kinda just wants a stable desk job with benefits now: do you have any advice on how someone looks for them? Like, what even IS a desk job? (Again sorry if this is stupid but I have deadass no clue how or where to get a job that's not retail 🥹)

I've gotten a few asks like this, so I figured I'd answer one for everyone. The short answer is: No, I don't have a magic bullet that will land you a desk job making $50k/year with a 401k and benefits. I wish I had an answer, I wish there were safeguards in place that protected everyone from asking a highly unqualified 24-year-old girl for career decisions. I wish you all could get/have what you need. But since y'all asked for my advice, here's what I have to offer. Once again, I am just some girl, I'm not a business-god:

#1: The website I found my job on is https://otta.com/. It's a great place to find jobs in the tech field. It's where I found the job I'm currently working at!

#2: It's easier to find a job when you have a job. I know this seems like old-fashioned advice your racist uncle gives you at Thanksgiving, so lemme reiterate it as a socialist trans girl you follow. This advice is TRUE. You are less desperate and less inclined to make silly decisions/concessions if you're currently employed. Our existing system is literally designed from the ground up to exploit desperate workers who are given the decision to either work or DIE, so yes... In our current system, being employed PERIOD is preferable to not being employed. There will always be someone to work harder for less compensation, so you have to make yourself "worth something" by having additional options. This is fucked, and I wish it weren't the case, but the way to gain "capital" as an employee is to have mobility and options. Be in a position where you're able to tell someone "No, I'm better than that. I'll find something else." If you're not in that position, I'm truly sorry. I wish I had more advice for you. Like I said, I'm not an expert at job-matching, I'm just a girl who's been asked by dozens of people at this point for direction.

#3: Be kind to yourself. If there's anything I've learned in the last year+ of therapy, it's that we have to be kinder to ourselves. None of us are "where we want to be." Trust me, I know. I was in a terribly abusive situation far too recently, but now it feels like such a distant dream. So if you're currently in that position, I have a few things to say to you: Firstly, it gets better. I know that feels like something better-off-people say to us just to make themselves feel better, but I can personally confirm this. Unless you're literally dead, there is the possibility that things get better than they currently are. It can happen. I was once hopeless, thinking life could never get better. Now I'm financially independent with savings and a nice apartment. It's POSSIBLE. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you. Just try to believe it can. Secondly: Be willing to endure the shit jobs until you find a job that you can actually tolerate. Endure/tolerate are two entirely different things. I once endured my job. Now I tolerate it. Do you think I love working customer support? No! But I'm fine with it! I like it some days! That's what's important! Just... not wanting to unalive yourself at the end of the day!

#4 is for the folks who can MOVE: I can't relate to this one as an asthma disabled gal, but I have heard that it's quite simple to "sell your body" for money. This isn't sex work, it's actually factory/shipping work. If you're able-bodied and can work exhausting hours, maybe consider a job at a FedEx joint, or an Amazon warehouse. Like I said, this isn't advice for getting a great job, it's advice for getting enough money to survive. If you are physically able to lift/move stuff without collapsing/dying, maybe consider this option! It is grueling and draining, but it pays a fat check for the damages. This isn't ideal for the long-term, but can serve you well for a hot minute if you have the physical health to survive it.

#5: Just hang in there. You're beautiful, and I know everything feels like hell at the moment, but please trust me as someone who's been there that it can get better. It did get better. Someday, everything you're enduring will be a story you tell your loved ones, a tale of what you used to endure. It will show them where you came from, but it won't be where you are. You can beat this. You will beat this. I know you can, because I truly believed I was doomed to my place in the world. I hope you understand that I'm not a grifter, I'm not trying to sell you a magic solution to your problems. I'm openly admitting that I cannot help you. But what I can offer is a promise that it can get better. Not that it will, but that it can. And that's worth pushing through, right? I know it can, and I know it will. The alternative is death, which is oblivion anyway. That means, statistically, it must get better! Otherwise it'll be "nothing," which is null and void!

So get out there, champs! Or hang in there! Either, or! Try to focus on #1, it's the most important! I love you all.