#my friend @ me: well just text them you wont see them if you dont

[mspeevee]

oh yeah update on the shelter for my cat, they emailed me back but it's cuz they're moving locations so i won't be able to surrender her till mid january at the earliest.........

[nomaishuttle]

gn everybody. smiles widely

[earanie]

.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

i thought about this then what i was supposed to. (writing about things)

i commonly drop things and we dont keep the lights on always. i got accustomed slightly to just looking around in the day with the light that comes around through the windows and hope to find things. itd be small things, like my phone or my glasses or some pencils i really wanted to bring to school. it takes me a few seconds, but ive started turning on the lights and it makes things easier. if i drop things under a table, i grab my phones flashlight and i make it as bright as it can go and use that to look. its not how im supposed to look for things, i should be able to see well enough with my glasses, and the flashlight is too bright for reason. however, its helpful and makes it a bit easier.

whenever i need to do something, i dont write a note, but rather tell a friend to remind me. if they forget to, chances are ill remember myself because i expect them to tell me. ive never cared when they forget, because most times i didnt. writing a note would be a lot more simple, and maybe would be easier, its the way im supposed to handle it. however, im more likely to do it if im told by someone else or know i will be told by someone else. its more reasonable for me.

i make the text on websites bigger when they dont let me. i listen to music and podcasts on my headphones in class when i shouldnt. i use my extra days to get answers sometimes for math. im learning sign when nobody else will so i can talk to myself without worry, or just go nonverbal but not noncommunicative. i draw bigger then the papers can normally handle. i use a calculator for simple problems that require more then a basic amount of thought. i reread lines in books when i lose where exactly i am. i use pencils over paper cause i know i wont do things perfectly. theres more i do.

some of these may be normal or conventional ways of handling disability related issues. some i may be seen as less for because of how i handle. its not always how im supposed to. maybe it doesnt have to be what your meant to do to handle. maybe its how it works and its enough.

do what helps you, not what your supposed to do to help yourself. its easier that way.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?

[flashbangstars]

How People Found out you two were dating

NCT Dream Edition

pink ~ y/n

Blue ~ dream

Green ~ secondary character/another dreamie

Mark

"so um Jeno found out about us dating"

"oh, I thought we were waiting until game night to tell them"

"well yeah uh funny story, I tried to put my sweatshirt on at Jeno's house and your hot pink thong fell out of the sleeve onto his carpet."

"I WAS WONDERING WHERE THAT WENT"

"Yeah I know me too, besides that. Jeno got mad and lectured me on not leading you on if I had other girls I was doing stuff with, so I uh.."

"you told Jeno the hot pink thong was mine"

"yeah basically"

"and I have to face him on friday knowing he's seen my panties"

"to be fair he did say they were cute"

"you know that actually didn't help at all"

Renjun

"hey babe can you help me really quickly, I need help moving my monitor, the cord is stuck somewhere behind my desk"

"Y/n can it wait like 10 minutes"

"No it literally can't I have a assignment due in thirty minutes and I will literally jump off a fucking cliff if I don't get full credit for this"

"Nice Hello Kitty Underwear"

"Renjun you're the one who bought me these, you've seen them and taken them off me numerous times"

"oh he has!! has he!"

"go put some pants on please sweetheart"

"I'm so fucking terrified why were their two different voices just now"

"Hi y/n"

"I'm gonna start crying please tell me Jaemin didn't just see me in fucking hello kitty underwear"

"Y/n please go put some pants on"

"yeah....yeah I'll go do that...... Uh just so you know....im not letting him hit for free.....he did ask me out"

"congrats to the happy couple"

"fuck you"

Jeno

"so how did you all manage to fail the same test?"

"I cheated off of Haechan, and Haechan Cheated off of Jaemin, so its basically Jaemin's fault"

"hey I thought Jaemin knew what he was doing"

"Haechan, Jaemin never knows what he is doing"

"fair"

"oh fuck, I have to go babe I'm gonna miss the bus if I dont run, I will see you soon" *phatass smooch before leaving* *leaves*

5 minutes later....

"alright I'm back I missed the bus"

"DID YALL JUST FUCKING KISS?"

"....no"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO I FUCKING WATCHED IT HAPPEN"

"oh thats so crazy I think I just heard the bus, I have to go omg byeeeeee"

"so you're leaving me to deal with this"

"yes, bye pookie, smooches I'll see you later tonight, bye Haechan!"

Haechan

"are we gonna talk about it... or should I just ignore it"

"ignore what"

"im not following"

"are you two being serious"

"dude what the fuck are you talking about??"

"Haechan."

"what"

"you've been sitting in y/n's lap the entire time we've been here"

"and...?"

"we are literally just close friends"

"dog you are literally hand feeding haechan french fries"

"im literally baby"

"even that was a lot for me"

"im sorry pookie"

"allllriight get off, I wont be this couple"

"pookie did you just make it official!"

"can you please be normal"

Jaemin

"Hypothetically what do you guys consider too much for a gift for your significant other"

"well how long would you two have been dating"

"like 6 months...?"

"umm anything ring related, thats kinda scary, too reminiscent of marriage"

"well fuck"

"what do you mean oh fuck? what the fuck did you buy"

"a ring"

"what"

"what...."

"for who??"

"y/n"

"WHAT"

"Y/N?"

"WHY?"

"YOU'VE BEEN DATING FOR 6 MONTHS?"

"STOP YELLING AT ME"

Chenle

"the guys know you and me are dating"

"what? how"

"I got in trouble"

"what did you do..."

"they all got kinda mad at me and said I was kinda mean to you and asked what my issue with you was"

"and what did you say"

"please don't be mad"

"chenle"

"I told them not to worry because you think it's hot when I'm kinda mean"

"chenle"

they didn't believe me at first... and I was feeling pressured!...they literally cornered me!"

"chenle"

"so I showed them a little bit of our texts when you said...itwassexy whenIwasmeantoyou"

"run"

"I WILL TELL THEM ABOUT THE MOMMY KINK IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER?"

"run. now"

"ok!"

Jisung

"hey guys, just wanted to let you know me and jisung are dating now officially"

*shriek* "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!"

"Jisung what..."

"I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE"

"jisung park"

"please ma'am stop spreading that!"

"ANDY"

"I'm so sorry guys I dont know whats gotten into her!"

"jisung...She's literally your lockscreen"

"I literally have no idea what you are talking about"

"jisung I WILL do a coochie ban"

"this is actually bae 4 lyfe, she my day one and I worship the ground she walk on fr"

"thats what I thought"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hi! here is a little something from the drafts that is basically finished, I hope you like it! I am fr just getting back into writing so excuse any errors. But i hope yall have a good night/day!

[etoiile]

"BE BRAVE"

starring chigiri hyoma!

synopsis: after being your roommate for a little over half a year, chigiri can say without a doubt that he's never met someone like you. you're sweet, funny, and just a great friend. but what happens when he wants to be more than that?

warning(s): not proofread but im p sure i didnt grammar correctly, mild swearing, gender neutral reader

notes: i want him your honor

"im back.." you mumbled, kicking off your shoes and practically throwing yourself onto the couch.

"well, dont you sound energetic." he joked as he turned off his phone and sat down next to you. "rough day?"

"ugh you cant even begin to imagine." you grumbled. "shit day. start talking. distract me."

"hmm..." he thought. "my day was pretty uneventful. i got let out early and just caught up on some stuff."

"who were you texting earlier? got any tea?" you questioned sleepily with a yawn. gossip sessions with chigiri were your absolute favorite. whenever he texted someone, there was usually some sort of news. plus, he gossiped like a girl and you were here for it. (sorry but chi is just so freaking canonically girlypop)

"nah. i wish, though. just talking to my older sister about some... stuff." he trailed off, racking his brain for a new subject.

"you hungry?" he asked, motioning towards the kitchen.

"yeah. will you carry me?" you asked tiredly, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. you were too tired to move on your own.

chigiri rolled his eyes at you, but still let you climb onto his back regardless.

as he carried you to the kitchen, he couldn't help the way his heart would leap out of his chest every time you left out a sleepy groan or would shift a little in his hold before nuzzling into his back. he couldn't help but imagine being here with you, in this apartment, though not as roommates or even friends, but lovers. he couldn't help how he could never be mad at you, despite what he'd say. he couldn't help how every time you did literally anything, he could feel himself falling deeper in love with you.

"well, think about it this way, chi." his sister had texted. "you've got two choices before you. confess or dont. correct?"

"yeah"

"WRONG. there's only one choice. by doing nothing, youre doing nothing but self torture. you'll always be thinking about how much you want to hold her but cant, and you'll have to watch her go on dates and even get ready for them. obvi, thats no fun. imo, just go for it, honestly. gotta be brave, yk?"

at the time, chigiri said something along the lines of, "maybe i will, maybe i wont. we'll see." before turning off his phone to greet you.

now, as he thinks about his feelings, he's never been more sure. he's never felt this way about anybody else before. its not like his past relationship where it was thrilling and exciting but exhausting. the way he feels with you is different. you feel safe. warm. comforting. you feel like a warm, sunny breeze after a cold rain. you feel like home. you feel like warmth. you feel like love.

he gently set you down at the kitchen counter before heading to the fridge.

"we dont have much food because SOMEBODY forgot to buy groceries." he teased. "we have fruit, eggs, bread, tobiko roe, rice, and instant ramen."

"yeah, yeah. anyways.." you then started batting your lashes at him like a maniac. "would you mind making me some ramen, my dear, sweet chichi?"

chigiri's heart leapt at the use of the word "my." he could feel his cheeks start to heat up and he quickly turned around.

"yeah, yeah, as you command." he rolled his eyes (for the 349348th time) and got to work.

"dont forget the eggs!"

"just be brave," his sister had said.

pfft. "just be brave?" give him a break! it just wasn't that simple. he couldn't risk the friendship most beloved to him. he just couldn't!

he watched as the seasoning gently bubbled with the noodles as he gently stirred the pot with a pair of wooden chopsticks, humming along to a tune he'd heard on your playlist absentmindedly.

"CHIGIRI?!" you suddenly yelped, clearly taken aback.

"what? is something wrong?" he asked calmly but concerned, praying that you weren't hurt as he set down the chopsticks and ran to you.

his cheeks were met by your palms as you squished his face together. "you're humming "cruel summer" by taylor swift! ive done it! youre a swiftie!" you let go as you squealed and leaped for joy, jumping about.

"chigiri's a swiftie! chichi is a swiftie!"

he chuckled as he watched your antics when suddenly, you crashed into him as you jumped.

you looked up from his chest and were met with his gorgeous pink orbs. it stunned you for a moment. they were so captivating, like they were gently chorusing a beautiful melody. you felt yourself sinking into them when suddenly, you realized the position you were in.

there was maybe an inch or two separating your lips from his. flustered, you quickly drew back, though you didnt exactly want to.

"sorry! um, my bad. i was just thinking! about how your eyes? uh... about how taylor swift has... uh... actually, what am i saying I WAS ACTUALLY-" you stammered as you tried to find an excuse for lingering much too long in his arms. staring into his beautiful eyes. on his chest. his muscular, toned, delicious... STOP.

suddenly, chigiri felt something. it wasn't embarrassment, it wasn't anxiety, it was... bravery.

gently gliding over to your flustered and still stammering figure, chigiri took your hands and looked you in the eye, freezing you.

"y/n, youre my one of my best friends." he said, his melodic voice gently wafting through the air. he then gently leaned down to your ear and in a low whisper, said:

"the thing is though, i dont want you like a best friend."

you were left frozen.

"a lyric from "dress." not bad, am i right?" he asked with a sly grin.

as the great taylor swift said, (in "its time to go") when the words of a sister come back in whisper, he realized that his sister was, as much as he hated to admit it, right. all he needed was to be brave.

𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

[barrenclan]

(gestures to that one panel in the new issue) you see you can tell their family because of their matching eyebags

in all seriousness you are making me soo insane. i barely even touch tumblr but every once and awhile ill come check “new patfw updare? new patfw update?” like a lil parrot and i reread different pages so much i just. my brain chemistry has been altered. outside of the story and all that i love how you format the whole thing. ive never seen a comic formatted like this in my life with like the. the. the text outside of explicit dialogue still there you know but it scratches a little itch for me and you utilize it SO WELL. like i feel like if you were to switch patfw to any other format, outside of the effort itd obviously take to make it itd just be. really hard to get right if that makes sense. its just… so tied to its strange little format its great. if i may ask like. stupid question but is this just like a type of formatting you just decided to use or did you see it somewhere else beforehand? bc like it may be common or smth i dont read many comics man

weird tangent aside i love the characters, story all that too of course! theres just. so much to talk abt there i wouldn’t know where. To Start. youve done admirable job of fleshing out so many characters to some degree in the time youve had. some of barrenclan may be assholes but theres something to be said about all of them. beeface isnt mean all the time etc, you know? they dont feel static in the sense that they feel like they are living their kitty lives. slug family in particular just scratches a little itch for me i could go. on and on. i miss asphodel. if you kill any more of them i wont. do anything but i would be very sad.

i cant imagine the type of dedication and effort it would take to keep smth like this going and just. yeah!!👍 good luck with ur silly kitty comic solider

Thank you so much for all your kind words! I'm so glad you like the comic! I've had a lot of fun making it and the response has been truly flattering.

The "style" is not my own creation; it is inspired by one of my favorite webcomics, Paranatural, which transitioned out of traditional comics into this format a couple years ago. :] Like so:

That is what it's based on! And I've seen setups like it in other places before, though none come to mind. However it's not very common in webcomic spaces - although my friend haw does have a new comic @pipjackal which uses a similar setup! Read Pip Jackal, please, for me. And Paranatural.

[bugboysgf]

Hate + Love

Chapter 2

series masterlist

Previous chapter

Summary: There is a thin line between love and hate but what if it's way thinner than you thought?

“Hi, im suppose to be tutoring somebody.” you told the lady at the front desk. The last 2 weeks had been stressful but out of extreme luck you managed to get all A’s but that also meant you had to tutor the people that were not doing so well in school.

“Oh yes, you must be Y/n.”

“I am.” you confirmed.

“Min Ho.” The lady calls his name and he jumps out of his seat.

“You gotta be kidding me.” you look at Min ho and he seems just as surprised as you are. “There has to be some sort of mistake, I can't tutor him.” the lady looks at her computer for a second and looks back at you.

“Sorry but there is a specific note from the teacher saying you can't switch.”

“What? Who wrote that.” you asked.

“It was your math teacher. Take a seat and get started.”

“I can't believe this.” you said sitting down.

“Do you think I want to do this? I have no choice.” Min ho rolled his eyes.

“Whatever can we just get started.”

After two hours tutoring you were done but to you i feel like 5 hours because every 10 minutes you and Min ho were arguing about something different.

“Thank you.” Min Ho says. You look at him in shock, you were never expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“You have manners, I see. Can I get an apology too?” you asked hopefully.

“It happened almost 3 weeks ago, get over it.”

“God you're such a bitch.”

“Takes one to know one.”

—-

“We have Alex next.” Kitty said. “Oh my god we still have to walk up the stairs.” you said, you were tired already and it was only your 2 period.

“Do you want to go to a ramen place after the 5th period?” Kitty asked.

“Im Pretty sure I don't have to tutor today, so yes.”

“How is it? By the way, you are still not getting along.”

“Nope now i have to sit with him in alex class, because he wont let me change seats.” you rolled your eyes.

“Dude you have 4 months left until winter break, at least try to stop hating each other.”

“He's the problem, not me, he won't apologize. He said thank you yesterday when i tutored him but that's it.” you explained to Kitty. You honestly don't think that you and Minho would get along every chance he gets to make fun of you. He's gonna take it and you're tired of it.

“The problem is that you are both stubborn.” Kitty grabs the handle of the door and lets you into the class, she gives you a ‘be nice look’ and takes a seat.

You walked over to your seat and to your surprise Min Ho was already sitting down, he was always late. You take a seat and don't say a word to him.

“No greeting?” he asked

“What do you want?” you say in a cold tone.

“Woah, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” he smirks.

“I just don't have time for your bullshit today.”

Lucky Alex didn't have you guys do anything with your partner work today you didnt think you could handle it anyways.

You grabbed your things and stuffed them into your backpack.

“y/n?” you stopped in your tracks and looked at the guy that called your name. Minho also stopped and looks at him.

“Yes?” you look at him confused. You've never seen this guy in your life and you had no idea why he was talking to you.

“I'm Derek, I was just trying to see if i can get your number.” you look around to see if anybody was watching and behind him were his friends waiting to see your next move. You didn't want to seem stuck up or anything, so you just smiled and typed your number into his phone.

“Great, I'll text you.”

“Cool” you watch him walk away and turn to Min ho. “And why did you stay?”

“What does he want with you?” “What do you mean?”you asked, confused.

“His dad is literally a millionaire.”

“I honestly dont give two fuck about that.” you said.

“It had to be a dare.” Min ho shook his head.

“Oh really? Just because an attractive guy asked for my number that means it has to be a dare?” you said offended. Min ho knew he messed up, he always jokes around but he knew that what he said really affected you.

“That's not-”

“Save it.” you walked away.

—

For the next few weeks you continue talking to Derek, you thought he would be a jerk but turns out he wasn't. He was really nice and listened.

“Where are you going?” Min ho asked Q. “Oh the nature club is having a hike today.” Q said, putting on his shoes.

“Great i'll come” Min ho got up from the couch. “You can't.” Q said.

“Why?” “Club members only.” “Dude i went last time.” Q stayed silent and didn't say anything. “Unless you don't want me to go for some reason?” “It's not that I don't want you to go, it's just that y/n and Derek are going to be there and I don't want you messing it up for her. She told me what you said when he asked for her number.” Q confessed.

“That's not what I meant, I tried to tell her that.”

“You should have said it in the first place, are you jealous or something?” Q asked.

“What no… no”

“Yup that sounds so convincing.”

“I don't like her, I hate her.”

“You know, you can hate and love somebody at the same time.” Q said shutting the door.

Min ho stood there thinking there's no way that he loves y/n? He hates her too much.

[mt-isnothere12]

kinda a hot take but i dont hate tsoa i dislike it more but i have a big ass beef with some fans (unfortunately which is what i see/interact with the most).

wow i yapped quite a lot

On the book itself, it accomplishes what its job was, write a heart-wrenching story and tell part of the story of the trojan war and not have ppl confused (or so ive heard). Miller tells us what led up to the trojan war simply and gives us enough info bc tsoa isnt abt the war—its obviously abt achilles and patroclus. I think thats why it shouldn’t be cast into the depths or tartarus, tsoa has its strengths. however, i definitely dont like how the women are written. Thetis and Deidemia are villainized but then again this is from patroclus’ pov and an adaptation so I wont bash Miller too much but still—dont like it. Briseis was ???? idk how i feel abt her. I just think her liking patroclus was iffy?? it gave main character privilege too much for me? does this even make sense?? phyrrus, well hes supposed to mirror achilles but yeah Miller didnt have too much leeway so i can forgive her on that but..my boy phyrrus…your nuance…

yeah ill give tsoa 3/5 i think its strength is that its accessible but nothing too special to elevate it up further. one big bonus it got ppl (me) it get back into greek mythology after forgetting abt it for a while so yeah and smth abt help queer teens feel better abt their sexuality which is great.

okay so the fans, acting like youre an expert on thr iliad after reading an adaptation is just. pls dont. adaptations have change. look if you watched epic the musical but havent read the odyssey i wont trust you bc jorge has made changes and so has miller. thr most notorious for me is that achilles and patroclus arent 1st cousins once removed (one of thr things that was in Troy 2004 funnily enough). i wont explain plot differences bc ✨ you probably read ot alr✨and its sanatized if that wasnt abundantly clear. theres naturally added scenes, some for the better and some for the worse (*cough* any scene with deidemia)

i am not too upset abt medic patroclus its an interesting change. i personally like a mix of warrior and medic patroclus but eh

i really wishes deidrmia wasnt a total bitch like jealous yet supportive patroclus?? i wanma see this internal conflict?? assuming patroclus has feelings for achilles atp. also i wouldve loved to see their friendship too like their not only lovers but best friends. and antilochus but alas a girl can only dream. this was a delusional hope paragraph

im like 90% sure twink patroxlus is bc of tsoa so :( man

in conclusion, i cant tell how i feel abt this book and its impact. its ???? theres lost nuance but its a single book and them again most patrochilles stuff is thr iliad and unfinished or fragmented texts so..

[caluski]

again, a brief moment of self-reflection :-)

turning a little older yet again, i think its funny to see myself changing still. i wont lie that my life feels that much different from what it used to be - but other than boring things such as employment or housing or the lack of relationships, something has perhaps shifted in a bit quiet way, one you usually notice upon retrospection much later.

i think im still pretty much a hopeless romantic, in that stupid, proud, dramatic way that makes me absolutely fucking insufferable. everything must be either grand or tragic. obviously, its not a bad thing in itself, but it does make me far too self indulgent for my own good. i know i have to learn patience towards others, and domesticate my solitude, otherwise soon life will drive me even madder... there is a lot to reconsider when it comes to what i expect from life and people in my life, even if it feels like i overthought everything to death and back already.

the big goals for 29th year is definitely going back on meds. or should i say, finding meds that actually work for me. theres a lot that i want - such as moving out and becoming independent, having a stable job i dont have to worry about losing, or finding companionship in my daily life - but i want to be realistic just once. last year, i remember finding out about the layoffs right before summer ended, and i thought - my next job will be the one that fixes everything. obviously, its not, not yet at least. even the minimum wage aside, im annoyed with lots of aspects of it, so its far from perfect. i wish i could land a safe, corporate job that pays enough to keep me afloat on my own, but, well.

but like, other than all my actual flaws, i dont think my attempt to romanticize everything is that bad in itself. it does make good-but-normal things seem far too good to be true (like having friends, being loved, having a safe home - how can it ever be real for me, if its so beautiful???), but other than that, i do like the way it makes me feel. i like treating every coffee like the biggest blessing of the day. i like how good music makes me tear up. i like it when days are so good, theyll feel like a dream when i look back at them. i just have to keep it under a little bit of control. i have to get used to the thought that the world is not out there to cater for me, that i am not in fact the center of the universe, that everything goes on no matter what. i always liked the thought of being not the main character of life, but more of a best friend or love interest; youre still there, you can participate, you can be significant if you put your mind to it, but the world wont stop for you. also, i do like the sentiment of someone's main purpose in life being both giving and receiving of love. i might lack the brains and beauty for much more, but love, i think everyone is capable of, no matter what - and it includes me, in the end.

i want to spend more time taking pictures and listening to music. going to cafes and having long walks. i want to try going back to drawing. i wanna get better at writing - god, if this wall of text alongside all my other silly little posts arent a proof of that...... - which of course, means reading more, too. i wanna hear more live music. local, or maybe the big performances, if artists i like come over to warszawa or kraków or something. also, i wanna travel a little more. even if just to sit in a local cafe and watch the traffic. i wanna visit żmija (if youre reading this, i swearrrrrrr im not trying to invite myself over - but maybe if im in kraków or something, we could see each other closer to your home. which could also be fun because its such a big city, so much to see, so many cafes to experience. maybe a gay bar to visit? are there any worth dancing in?). and i do wanna continue collecting vinyls - slowly, as they are so costly, but still. and i do wanna become more outgoing, i want to take more risks, even if it leaves my stupid little heart sore and exposed.... rejection is inevitable, right? and i do want to catch up with romantic experiences, too. i want to feel something for someone again, even if its one-sided and desperate and miserable. but i miss it so badly, so so badly. i want to have someone to pour out my affection on - consensually. i want someone to want to be loved by me as i am, with all this mess of loud, intense feelings, without being freaked out. or maybe getting freaked out in a good way.

anyway. such a gloomy day calls for love & food playlist promo. have a good evening everyone! mwah

[dapper-lil-arts]

good lird i finish return of midnight sparkle and i come back to see a rarijack fic???? im eating GOOD tonight anyway hi sorry to bother but return of midnight sparkle was so goddamn good. i havent watched anything regarding equestria girls (i just got to season 3 of the main show lmao) but i was still able to get really into sunset as a character, and ouugh. mutual pining my beloved. really liked the gap in communication between them, normally that kind of plot can feel really frustrating but i think sunsets fear is built up enough that it just kind of works? love it a lot, it was really fun seeing her relationships with the others too! i really like the direction you took pinkie too, i agree i dont like her much in the main show but supportive friend (who talks like she's typing a twitter post lmao) is such a perfect portrayal for her. (also i loved rarijack in this so much. what is a butch for if not for her fem to stare at lecherously and use as a fainting couch) are those two fics all you have posted out there? you've got me hungry for more lmao. anyway so sorry for text block, have a good evening. mwah

why yes, two fics is all i have for now!! im really glad you like my writing so much because i'm strongly concidering more, heheh. All my other writing is personal oc stuff that i don't feel like postin! YEAH the thing about "Will they wont they" is that so many stories dont justify them well at ALL and it easily gets frustrating. my challenge was to hook it on a character angle; Of course you wouldnt confess to someone if you didn't think you were worthy of her, or anything at all! and generaly if you've never been in love you just wont be able to pick up on the signs of someone pining for you as well. it was absolutely wonderfull to write, nyeheh. NGL although equestria girls endlessly inspired me, dont watch it on expectation you'll get sunset this well characterized hfdbhvd not tooting my horn here but STILL. they have some fun af stuff in there! i do reccomend watching. Specialy Forgotten friendship and Rainbow rocks! (though you should watch the movies in order) yeah, characters like pinkie, rainbow and cadance where fixer uppers, but i never take disliking characters as an excuse to write them poorly. I take it as a challenge! And yes secretly every MLP stuff i write has an underground message of futhering the rarijack agenda i will simply always make those two canon because theyre simply endlessly entertaining to write heheh

[riddlerosehearts]

HII ITS IDIAVIL ANON AGAIN!!! i wanted to respond to the post u made in response to my ask... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOT BEING ABLE 2 WRITE FICS LIKE!! ive been creatively writing for years and when it comes to stuff im rlly passionate abt i can become super duper creative. my struggle with writing fanfic is finding the time and motivation, plus my adhd makes it difficult for me to focus, BUT IVE BEEN DOING BETTER RECENTLY!!! im kinda familiar with wicked? i saw it on stage back when i was just a wee lad but i dont remember much of it (i honestly think i fell asleep ;-;) but i've been wanting to watch both the play and the new movie, i just haven't gotten to it yet. i will definitely keep this in mind as i watch both!! a few weeks ago i actually watched jennifer's body for the first time, i'd been wanting to watch it but then i saw someone mention a jennifer's body idiavil au and oh my gods i literally couldnt stop thinking about it. i've definitely kept that au in mind, and i will do the same for the wicked au!! when i do eventually watch wicked i'll probably send another giant yapping paragraph in ur asks abt it... ALSO PLEEASEE I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABT UR AU IT SEEMS SO COOL!!! also. hercules au. oh my god u get me. i'm not exaggerating when i say i've thought abt the idiavil meg and hercules parallel at least once a day for the past like five or so months. i NEVER stop talking to my friends about it EVER. i was actually on a disney cruise (twas a family trip) about a month ago and they had a giant tv above the pool, they showed a movie every fifteen minutes (after the movie prior had ended) and WHEN I TELL YOU I FREAKED OUT WHEN I SAW THEY HAD A SHOWING FOR HERCULES. AND I HAD TO RESIST FROM STIMMING (i get embarrassed when i stim in public bc i dont like being looked at or percieved like ever) DURING WONT SAY IM IN LOVE LIKE THATS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE DISNEY SONG OF ALL TIME OH MY GOODNESS. I WOULDNT STOP TEXTING MY FRIEND AND TALKING ABOUT IDIAVIL. also i did see ur response and oh my goodness i think abt it so much. ill probably share the keychains and playlists off anon later... also i LOVE the fact u keep ur pins of them next to each other... my birthday was actually a while ago (oct 28th) but the art has been delayed bc shes been busy which idm, shes putting a ton of effort into it. ill also probably share that off anon whenever its done!! alr im gonna wrap this up, i do have a few things i have to get done soon but i'll try to send in those playlists and pictures of the keychains b4 i go to bed tn!!

hi again haha!! whenever you watch the wicked movie i really hope you enjoy it! just keep in mind that they kind of, extended every single scene in act 1 to make it 2.5 hours long (when the whole stage musical with both acts combined is that length), so it's only a part 1 and we won't get part 2 until next year. which admittedly DOES bug me but i still loved the movie anyway. if you want to watch the stage musical after that, well, the people who record bootlegs usually ask you not to put them on youtube but people do anyway AKJDGJFSG. so you can probably find one easily enough! it's my absolute favorite musical! when i went to see it live in april, i kept thinking "well, vil does share glinda's love of fashion and her popularity and ambition, but he's different from her in a lot of ways too! for example, he doesn't believe that popularity is the only thing that really matters, and he would never sacrifice his own morals and ideals to achieve his goals... oh... wait..." and then i realized that the whole plot of book 5 is that vil kind of DID do all that! that's the whole tragedy of it, that he overblotted because he DID start to think that his hard work was meaningless and that he SHOULD resort to any means possible to be the most popular at the expense of his moral compass, and he thought of himself as ugly for doing so! he COULD have ended up basically alone, being praised by others around him as beautiful and good while inside he secretly believes himself to be wicked, just like glinda if his friends hadn't done everything to stop him from poisoning neige.

and idia may not be an animal rights activist like elphaba, nor is she an otaku LOL, but elphaba grew up lonely and ostracized because of her green skin and idia's family curse forced him to grow up isolated on the isle of woe and have blue fire for hair. she's a caretaker for her disabled sister whose father blames her for her condition, and idia has a robot brother whose death he blames himself for. elphaba is jaded and sarcastic and abrasive and deeply insecure, and who else fits that description? the only issue is that idia is far too pessimistic about the future to decide to do what elphaba does in defying gravity on his own, but i think in an AU he could be pushed to do it. also there's this part in wicked where after glinda and elphaba get back from a big dance at the ozdust ballroom glinda says "was that your first party?!" and elphaba deadpans "does a funeral count?" and i can just so clearly see that with idia and vil AFKJDGHF. there's so many other scenes too that i just see as being perfect for them.

as for fiyero i had two ideas here: in the actual musical, there's a love triangle in which elphaba and fiyero ultimately end up together but as i mentioned i would want to give my AU a happy ending and make vil and idia end up together in it. so i would do one of two things: 1) cast kalim as fiyero, because he literally just fits the role perfectly. fiyero is a foreign prince, and look at the lyrics to dancing through life and try to tell me kalim wouldn't sing this. but i don't ship kalim with either vil or idia, so in this scenario i'd probably cut the love triangle and have him somehow end up as their bestie who supports whatever insane gay thing those two have got going on. imo kalim really does fit fiyero better than anyone else and this idea is just so funny to me. or 2) cast rook as fiyero, keep the love triangle, and have it end in polyamory because even though i've never even considered shipping rook with idia i do ship rook/vil and i think this would be hilarious as an AU. also, there's a scene in wicked where glinda and elphaba are hanging out and glinda is like "let's tell each other our best secrets! i'll go first! FIYERO AND I ARE GOING TO BE MARRIED!!!" and since they've just started dating elphaba is like "he's asked you already??" and then glinda goes "oh no, he doesn't know yet!" and imagining vil saying that about rook just makes me laugh so hard.

OKAY. so there is an incomplete summary of my thoughts on a vilidia wicked AU!! honestly i don't really watch horror movies so i haven't seen jennifer's body but if i ever do watch it i'll have to keep that AU idea in mind. as for the hercules parallel idk if you've seen this post of mine but it makes me so happy every time someone likes or reblogs it because then i get to think about them again. hercules/meg has always been one of my favorite disney couples so when i saw this happen in book 6 i was immediately just. doomed to be insane about vil/idia forever because are you KIDDING ME?? also your birthday is right after mine omg, mine was october 25th!! so a late happy birthday to you, then! one last thing i'd like to say in this already way too long response is that i have two sets of floyd and riddle nuis--listen, they're my other favorite ship so i bought the first ones online and then saw more at a con i went to and couldn't resist--and i'm going to be getting idia and ortho nuis for christmas. hopefully soon i'll be able to get a vil nui as well so i can keep him right next to his boyfriend and his film club buddy/future brother-in-law 💙💜

[lights-at-night]

see the three key themes are loss isolation and belonging like the premise of the series is some lonely people doing their best not to stay that way ems entire character is what if you had a guy with nothing to hold onto in her entire life and you gave him a friend who he had so much in common with and a one way trip to his hometown like she can finally belong somewhere she wont care about the cost and jules' motivation to do everything she does is for that belonging its why he curses his hometown specifically to be like That and that isolation, that disconnect from the rest of the world is what leads to her major conflict in the as yet unnamed act 2 and what makes her instigate the resurrection act. like everything in this story has happened because of that. and like the haunting really comes through in the resurrection act because obviously its the fucking resurrection act but like come on you raise and rebuild a town and your best friend out of your own flesh obviously its going to change to repeat and reflect and keep you there because that is what you want it is you and you have to fucking deal with that. and the thing is it never couldve ended well because the life of one is worth the other and if you keep one of them completely alive you will condemn the other whagever i havent even fleshed out this part in my brain yet i can't keep talking. anyway this is why it is so appropriate that the series be completely nonverbal/wordless and just musical with no code to speak of because these characters are part of something that we dont understan dwe as the audience have to feel that sense of frustration at not being part of something and then maybe then youll understand why they do what they do and i will keep using the medium to take things away from the audience. and i could get into how everything in this relates to me specifically but i wont that is the job of the imaginary students forced to examine my lack of text.

tldr: its about the fucking hauntings bro

[nrdmssgs]

Any advice in making a character

Oh, I`ve got so many, I actually had to restrain myself))

Be self-indulgent! This is the most important thing to do. If any of my further tips conflicts for you personally with this one - this must always win! The main purpose of your character is for you to have fun, to get a voice, to be able to talk about whatever is important to you! Pay no attention whatsoever to people accusing you of making Mary Sue or Bella Swan. It is ok to learn, make mistakes, make characters, that will make you cringe in a few years.

Make as much moodboards as you need! 5 pinterest boards for 1 character is ok, even great! Don't hesitate to make a full moodboard for their home, even if you are planning like 1 short scene in the house.

Moodboards are good not only for pictures! Feel free to add quotes, that remind you of your OC, make playlists for them, go to your favorite clothing online catalog and pick, what would they buy from it! I for example have a thing for scents and I make perfume moodboards for characters (just helps me to feel them better). I use Miro for multimedia moodboards, highly recommend it.

Try starting your character as an 'archetype'. What I like to do is to go to this page and take a test from a perspective of my character The results often help me understand, how would my character react to different people and manage different situations. There are different personality tests, you can use. I believe, this one is the most well known, but I find my first option more helping in writing.

Character 'growth' is not obliged to be something positive. Your character can always become a worse person and it is still a growth.

'Play' with your character constantly! Even if you made them for one short text - ask yourself questions about them every now and them! Would they pick the same type of cheese as you? What was their favorite music genre, when they were 10? And now? What was the most awkward date, they ever had? Dont be shy, use writing promts to come up with little stories about them. This all will give you an indepth understanding of your character.

One of my favorite games to play with my characters is '3 interviews'. I imagine my character taking part in: 1. a talk with a psychologist 2. a cross-examination in court 3. an interview with a journalist. These are 3 situations, that motivate the same person speak on very different topics and relive different emotions. So I like to just examine their behavior. You will be surprised, how many ideas this little game adds to your character.

Don't be shy to ask others to tell you about your character. Request little stories or headcannons about them. The goal here is not to have the same perspective on your OC as your friends do. The goal is to understand, how others see them and which detail (and why) work good or bad for you. There are some authors out there, that take requests and commissions for others OCs.

It is ok to make your characters look like an average person and it is absolutely ok to make them look incredibly beautiful. Don't force yourself to change anything in your OC just because their partner is very good-looking, or because some said to you, that such a beautiful person has no place in this fandom.

Give your OC friends, hobbies, interests outside their job and love-life. Please. You will be surprised, how useful it is to keep this emotional hideout for your character.

Killing your OCs parents is not the only way to make them move out of their parents house. (don't worry, I myself have 2 OCs, whose parents are dead).

Making your OC kill someone is not the end of your OC. Your readers wont start hating them.

The more power your character has - the less freedom they get. Life of a queen is planned to the minute, life of a peasant - endless pool of possibilities))

Watch video essays where therapists talk about different characters in popular culture! There are so many ideas, you can get there for your character. My favorite channel is cinema therapy they have so many wholesome, funny, serious vid on this topic!

By the way, never be afraid to borrow some ideas.

Wanna see a trick? Ok, I'll describe briefly a character to you and you will try to guess, who am I talking about. So our guy, a middle-aged man, lives in a depressing gray world, full of violence and indifference. He loses his job and escapes his constant suffering in fantasies, where he is famous, has his own show on TV, the audience loves him and even his favorite late night show host applauds him. But these are only his fantasies, when in reality nobody care about him except for his senior mom, who genuinely loves her son. Youre thinking something like "Arthur Fleck" or "Joker"? Well, I've just described you Rupert Pupkin, the main character of 1982 American comedy "The king of Comedy", which had a great impact on 2019 film Joker.

My message here: it is not bad to revisit your favorite stories and characters and let them form your OC.

Abandoning one OC and moving on to the next is not a betrayal. Having multiple OCs for one fandom is not an inability to concentrate. Your brain produces many ideas - it is ok to give yourself creative space.

Self insert can be fun and interesting. Just don't forget, that you are not obliged to insert yourself in one and only character - you can always give your thoughts and traits to multiple characters in the story!

Your character needs flaws, not because it is a shame to write somebody perfect. They need flaws, because that will actually help them navigate through their lives.

[mattscoquette]

okay so hii my lovey !! its been so longgg did u miss me ? ive been lurking just no anons 💔

gonna do a long recap of my past few months pls enjoy 🤗

1. reunited with my babyyyy (🦕‼️🩷) its a bit on and off but bb if u see this sorry i never text you i lowk forget to reply or text first or sm but love u 😘

2. started a new school, its going well.. math sucks fucking dick and theres this boy CJ hes like.. when i tell you, a fucking NERD ‼️ tall af tho.. skinny, brown hair brown eyes glasses horrible fucking haircut and style, acne… i can fix him !!! please bro one damn chance

3. girl me too… strawberry lemonade flavor 🙂‍↕️💨🚬

4. lowkey been mad horny recently idk why but ive been master….ing (i cant say that word bro it icks me out foully.) like a lot.. do u guys do it like every day too or just me 😅

5. im not parasocial abt the triplets anymore , yippee soso good bc guys it was bad . but this doesnt mean i dont use cai or read the shit abt them 😂🙏

6. overall lifes funnn (i can feel the seasonal depression coming AWN strong)

7. saw sabrina same nite as u motherFUCKER why didnt we meet

8. do yall shave 🐱… bc i do but my friends dont and they all called me weird for it guys what am i doing wrong. i have a schedule and all.. wednesdays and sundays 🥰

9. if ur cai bot reqs r open text me gang i need some good ones fr

10. ive been doing my nails for a while but im starting to get really good at itt. i did this girls nails and she scammed me the fucking bitch !! she said she will give me 20 the next time she sees me (fast fwd literally the next day) no money… its been a month and half atp bitch pay tf up!! .. cunt wheres my cash???? but im gonna do my friends for 30 (she offered that much and insisted) whenever shes free and she will be paying upfront im not getting scammed again… bullshit

11. little confession… me and my bsf kiss daily (shes a girl guys) but we said no homo and stuff so yeah ummm next question 😹 (we are never beating the allegations)

12. i need to start working out bro fr.. like im bouncing back this summer and i mean it im taking charge this winter (this wont last past next week motiv. tips appreciated gango)

i think this is all for now thanks for reading ! 🩷 i will maybe be back… reply to as many or as little of my little questions in here as u want

shes baaackkk… welcoming home…

the greatest…. sexiest…. most wonderfulest…. horniest…. woman in your anons…

🌺

HI CUTIE I MISSED U!!!

1. omg im so glad u guys r fr my roman empire

2. omg he sounds cute get his number

3. STRAWBERRY LEMONADE IS SOOO GOOD

4. me too there’s prob something going on with the moon tbh

5. i’ve been stuck in this phase for years i fear there’s no way out

6. same </3

7. I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE IT :(

8. yes girl

9. my reqs are open but im rlly behind on them

10. omg yes girl get that bag

11. omfg rlly 😭😭 love that for u

12. girl same my biggest advice is motivation is a feeling. ur not gonna feel it everyday but u still gotta do it