#my first thought during the recent quest

[rockingbytheseaside]

✦ Paimon deserves one f-bomb pass and she should absolutely use it on Dainsleif

Thank you for listening.

[bluexiao]

#monsieur neuvillette’s relationship headcanons

NOTES. finally a work after months. i missed this, tbh. but hey, here’s my new husband for you. might also have a part 2 of this i feel like i haven’t written everything yet

WARNING. real identity spoilers (nothing too explicit from the current archon quest i haven’t even done it yet oops)

NEUVILLETTE

(Before)

Before the relationship began, it took a long while for him to truly process what he had been feeling towards you—to be frank, he even thought he was getting sick (which was impossible. He never got sick.), though that thought comes to an end the moment he realizes that the effects only happen when he is around you. Only you.

He had heard of love before. Had seen love. Had read about love. Not just the platonic or familial ones, but also romance and more. And yet, he does not understand them, simply because he considers them as something someone like him would not eventually feel.

And yet, it all changed when he first saw you. Curiosity turns to admiration, and admiration turns to anxiety—which is never good; the sweating on his hands and the back of his neck, and the pressure on his chest whenever your presence comes.

He was only reminded of the term romance when he consulted Sigewinne about it.

“Does it only happen around a certain person, Monsieur?” “Monsieur, I think you are simply in love,” she says. “Humans do tend to have the same symptoms but it does not necessarily mean you are sick. It appears to me that you feel the same as well. Does their presence give you happiness?”

He did not even need to ponder over his answer. What he does ponder over is how he should deal with it. The evidence is overwhelming, and there is only one verdict. And yet, where does this lead to?

Contrary to popular belief, he will confess as soon as he is sure of his feelings. He is an honest and honorable man. He would confess his feelings if he could, but it did take some time knowing how busy his schedule was.

The only thing that probably was able to push him to go through was the Melusines. It took them weeks to have him clear his schedule up for a nice little dinner date that they had planned and suggested to the Monsieur.

“Recently, I have come to realize that I have developed a romantic interest with you, Y/n.”

“I do not intend to put pressure on you. I shall accept whatever judgment you make. I do not wish for you to change how you treat me in any way.”

“If you may… I can only ask to indulge in this meal with you for tonight. Your company eases me greatly.”

Brutally honest. It may even drive you crazy how this all seems so easy on him.

But in reality, his palms were sweating underneath his gloves and the slightly cool sensation of the utensils as he blurts out his intentions for setting up such an occasion. His heart was pounding but he could not process whether this was about how you looked especially good tonight or his nervousness with finally confessing his feelings for you.

Or maybe both. Either way, all evidence of such leads to only one thing—you.

Bonus; I do think he’ll reveal who he is first before he gets into a relationship with you but that really depends on how observant you are.

(During)

It was a surprise to him, at the very least, how he had managed to keep you as his lover despite what he lacks. He knew how he was not well-versed with “feelings” per se (just in his mind), but you, the angel that you’ve always been, chose to be with him.

The sudden change did not occur to him much, actually. But he did notice how much his mind lingers to you more often than not, and how he will end up recalling how you are now his one and only lover.

It takes time for him to adjust, but it all started with frequent conversations (much more than before), then sending flowers to your place every other day (constantly), though most of the time they’re delivered by someone else, knowing how busy he is as the Chief Justice.

Or when he started to first brush his gloved fingers to yours.

When he does something, it will be constant. (Maybe this also comes from being responsible and disciplined as shown by being the Chief Justice). All the things that he did before, he still does them now—unless you’ve told him no, of course.

He is definitely a man of his honor!!

And would always ask for your permission first before he touches your hand, or holds them, or hugs you, or kisses you.

He does like pampering and showering you with “offerings” though.

Stuff like buying your favorite flowers or trinkets once or twice a week, making sure you have enough supply of the best water out there. And even with how he always has an umbrella or parasol for you (ones he got ever since you got together; one in his office, one that’s foldable for him to carry under his coat, and one he gave to you for every time you leave the house.

Through the course of the relationship, he learned about the beauty of life, which is how he sometimes brings you flowers despite its short life. However, he still secretly prefers giving you trinkets for your hoard of gifts from him, mostly because it symbolizes his everlasting love for you. (He’s very romantic like that, even if he does not know he is)

He will also introduce every single Melusine in Fontaine. At first, it may surprise you how he knows all of their names, but it will surprise you even more the moment you realize you could do the same. If you do, he’ll love you even more (which he thought was impossible at first as he knew he already loves you very much).

The Melusines will treat you as their other parent the moment it is known amongst all of them that you’re his lover. Sigewinne, for one, would always give you a personalized gift. She would also always send you letters to ask how you are and probably be quite excited whenever you accept an invitation for a cup of tea.

Monsieur Neuvillete is not jealous, but he is possessive and territorial. It’s a dragon instinct, forgive him.

It also comes with being protective. Though he’s not feral, he would make sure to always shield you away from any harm, or anything that might take you away.

One time, he had to deal with a bunch of… shameless individuals who had tried to make a move on you, and though he has great trust on you, he cannot help but have the same self-deprecating voices in the back of his mind.

Though instinctively, he finds himself buying you trinkets or flowers again.

“Hm? You just gave me one earlier, didn’t you?” You look up with a confused look but still hold that smile that stirs butterflies in his chest.

He nodded. “The flowers reminded me of you, mon amour. I could not help but feel the urge to give it to you.”

It does not stop him from giving you offerings.

Of course, he cannot just give up on you. The ruling of whoever deserves your love and affection the most. Of course, he is at an advantage knowing that he’s already your lover.

“Is there something wrong?” You looked up to him, hearing the pitter patter of the rain outside through the taps on the windows. You had your hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them with your palms.

“It’s nothing, mon cœur, no need to worry.” He flashes you a reassuring smile, and yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered how you could have thought to check on him. Is it perhaps the gloominess in the atmosphere?

You frown as you look at him intently, “There are times when you’d shower me gifts with a saddened look on you. I’m worried, is all.”

He stares at you then. Ah, so you noticed, he thought.

He chuckles as he shakes his head and stands right next to you. “May I?” He opens his arms and you nod and dive right into his chest. He enclosed you into an embrace, relishing the feeling of your warmth.

He kisses your forehead then. “Allow me to bask in your presence for a while.”

For short, one of the best. Definitely a 100/10.

[versadies]

FOR ME? (neuvillette x gn!reader)

SALUTATIONS. for me?

ADDRESSED. neuvillette (x gn!reader)

STAMP. in which he came back from his trip to qiaoying village and brought a few things for you!

CONTENT. ooc (?), fluff/no-angst, established relationship, possibly cheesy, possible grammar errors, takes place during hustle and bustle quest from the recent lantern rite update!

POST-SCRIPT. here’s my post dedicated to @staarri’s birthday and milestone event — congratulations on your milestone and happy belated birthday to you, zira! furthermore, this fic is inspired by a wriolette fanart made by @/visualkid_n that i saw on my feed !!

LINKS. masterlist / taglist

For a man such as NEUVILLETTE who is as busy as can be and rarely leaves Fontaine, you thought you were in a different universe when your lover first told you that he’ll be going on a trip to Liyue and visit Qiaoying Village. It’s not often to find your lover taking a break from his duties as the Iudex, let alone travel to another nation with his busy schedule, yet here he was.

He tried to invite you really, telling you that he’d like you to come with him and spend time together, but given your schedule, you could only turn him down despite wanting to accept.

And so you spent half a day with your lover away from the nation, often wondering how he is and if he’s not sulking too much about you not being able to come with him. Though, knowing how he is, you’re sure he’ll be alright – he can live in not seeing you for a day.

Take note, it was only half a day.

To your surprise, Neuvillette came back home much earlier than expected, standing by your doorstep with a few bags in hand, his eyes brightening at the sight of you.

“How was your trip?” You asked as you provided him some water for him to drink after he came inside your shared home.

“It was… quite enjoyable, but not as much as I longed for you to be there with me.” He responds softly, thanking you for the drink before taking a sip.

You gave him an apologetic smile, sitting down next to him on the sofa. “Sorry.. I’ll come with you next time when you decide to travel again.” You spoke, before glancing at the numerous items that are placed on the floor. “Though may I ask, what are all these items for?”

Neuvillette placed his cup down, glancing at the items as well before saying casually, “Ah, they’re for you, my dear.”

Come again?

You blinked a few times, staring at your lover as if he just told you the most absurd thing.

“Eh? All of them…?” You clarified.

It didn’t help that the Iudex looked unbothered, as if this is almost nothing for him. “Yes, of course. Why do you look so surprised?” He asks. “I was only thinking of you and how you were while I was away, and I happened to find a lot of things that reminded me of you.”

“Neuvi…” You said, staring down at the bag, still processing the fact that your lover bought so many things in one day just for you. “I do hope you’re aware that you didn’t have to do such things! This is quite shocking for me!” You commented.

He hummed. “I am aware, of course. But I happen to find myself making a few spontaneous decisions that’s inspired from my trip. Do forgive me, my dear, I did miss you after all.”

You could only sigh with a smile of defeat. “Well, it’s not as if I can reject such thoughtful gestures from you, but do go on and tell me more about your trip. How was Qiaoying Village? I read Charlotte's article about Liyue’s tea industry earlier.”

“The trip is quite refreshing. I took the opportunity to try their local spring water, and the aftertaste is much purer than what was delivered to me in Fontaine.” He said with a pleased look.

You find yourself listening intently to him as he goes on about the waters of Liyue, not being able to hide the amused look on your face from how fond he is about tasting water, and it only took a few minutes before he changed the subject to something else.

“Ah, that reminds me, I mentioned earlier that my trip happened to inspire a few spontaneous decisions, and one of them happened to be trying out ceramics.” He explains.

“My, the Iudex trying out ceramics?” You teased, causing his mouth to twitch upwards more.

“It’s quite an interesting activity. I’ve never once thought about how quotidian vessels were crafted until I participated in their very making. Nonetheless, I made something for you.” He adds.

To your shock, Neuvillette brought out a tea set with a design that reminded you of a certain sea creature. Who knew your lover would be amazing at the ceramic arts?

“Neuvi, you made these? For me?” You ask, aweing at the cute design that he made. “They’re so cute! You did such an amazing job, you made it by hand and everything!” You flattered him.

He smiled more from your compliment, placing the tea set down on the coffee table for you to touch and admire his work that he made just for you. “I thought it’d be good to give you this. It’d mean a lot to me if you’d accept.”

“Of course I will! You made this yourself, I couldn’t ask anything more than that.” You replied.

Suddenly, an idea came to your mind. “Tell you what, why don’t we use this for water tasting together when the next delivery arrives?”

“That’ll make me all the more happier, my dear.”

PENPALS. @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @ragnvdnr @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @owozi8 @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii @jiminscarmex @mitsukii14 @ylimeprive @sachispet @loreleis-world @sn-owo @starforecasts @someonetookmynamelmao @ceylestia @astrequa @ymikkos @reallysporadicarcade @melodyyamino @dudufodd @somberrock @yevenly @lemontum @nghing @shaiah @miss-lady-witch @yashe @imkaaayy @badlywrittens @0rah-s @totallynotaraidensimp @garlicforthewin

[faeryarchives]

heartslabyul with a furina-like female reader! the "regina of all waters, kindreds, peoples and laws" is deeply loved by all. under her flamboyant and imprudent facade, lies a girl holding an unbearable weight and guilt on her shoulders to save her people. note: contains major spoilers about fontaine story quests (you have been warned) !! furina - like female reader series: savanaclaw recent fics: you feel like home & octavinelle with a fischl like female reader! & i'm not jealous !! (savanaclaw x gn!reader)

-‘๑’- riddle rosehearts

"who are you people? and why are you all dressed suspiciously? no, don't come near me, i am warning you!" "calm dow- where did these water familiars came from?!" "stay back i said!"

riddle was taken aback by your sudden behavior and your ability to wield a sword as well as commanding your familiar like it's your second nature! but weapons are still not allowed on school grounds 🤬

after the incident, riddle thought he wouldn't interact with you again when somehow manage your way to the dorm and stepped in when he was about to collar his dorm mates

"i don't think it's appropriate for you to chain your subjects like prisoners, mr. riddle. that is not a proper way of to rule." "don't stand in my way, what do you know about ruling?!" "... you have no idea."

and you proved him so wrong after overhearing your conversation with your heartslabyul friends. it's not like he intended to eavesdrop but it just happened that he was passing by

"after 500 years of acting on stage - i am finally free to live as a normal human again without the need to act as a strong and more god-like version of myself. but the problem is, i don't know where to start."

riddle made it his mission to always make you feel welcomed in the heartslabyul dorm and gradually became close friends with you

who knew that the two of you are similar to each other? from ruling over a community to having tea parties and your love for sweets

"riddle, you can enjoy sweets as much as you want. you dont need to follow such suffocating rules." "...what a pleasant surprise, truly an extra slice of joy."

believe it when i say he is very fond of your salon members and even went out his way to always give them a proper greeting and send them invitations for the unbirthday parties.

it was like he is healing his inner child along with you + very comfortable to the point that he doesn't even hesitate to ask you for advice 🫡 rather than an older sister you were like his twin

-‘๑’- trey clover

it is bad to have favoritism but trey clover took the cake immediately after watching him bake the most delicious cake you ever tasted

sorry to all fontaine patissier or fontaine in general but maybe you might as well stay in this world ... kidding 🧍🏻‍♀️

out of everyone you met, trey's firs impression was the second best (kalim being first for obvious reasons) he was like your dear friend who adores tea time but more laid back verion of them

"what a rich aroma and delicate texture... i didn't expect you to be such an accomplished cook... with refined taste, as well!" "a compliment from the regina herself is such a worthy praise for someone like me." "nonsense, trey! you are the best one out there!"

with curiosity getting the best of you, you always try to help out during the unbirthday parties and learn how to cook and bake from the vice dorm leader

... after all having pasta everyday is not very healthy 😭

listens to your rambles about the novels you've read befora and suggests you some that he have on hand! at this point he might as well be your guardian angel

despite being smaller than most of the student at nrc - you shocked the whole heartslabyul group after fighting off the known bully group of seniors trying to scare some freshmen

"now go along and never show your faces to me again. capiche?" "woah, i thought you said you are not used to battling!" "mmm, i did. but it's different from my abilities, no?"

you were the opposite of trey, rather than being embarrassed, you know your strengths and weaknesses and use it to your advantage

"trey, don't tell me you are just an ordinary person, you liar. you can't fool me with your downplaying talk!"

he can't fool you with that but trey pulls some harmless pranks on you by tricking you in putting a different recipe in the pie orsomething

he learned his lesson after you really followed his instructions and became the first victim to his own prank

you always seem to pride yourself as a strong and capable woman and how despite everything you are going through you always go for it headstrong

"now look at you, getting sick. i told you not to overwork yourself right?" "mmm, sorry big brother..."

did you just say 🥺 older 🥺 brother? after that he wears that title like a cape everyday and even brags it to cater 😭

-‘๑’- cater diamond

oh cater absolutely adores you the moment he saw your outfit because it is so well made?! 🫨 not only that - you were like giving the total celebrity vibes

"you have an eye for discerning people! yes, i am once the most beloved star of my country... but that time already came to an end."

sometimes while he tags along whenever you, grim and the adeuce duo hangs out - he always had this feeling that you are staring deep into his soul 👁️👁️

as much as he puts up his usual cheerful facade to fool you, it was like arguing up to a wall and you finally pointed it out one day during your tea parties

"you know, you don't have to force yourself to eat sweets. i cooked some habanero pepper cream pasta earlier with

you might as well become his favorite underclassman 🥺

no wonder you were able to read him so well because you revealed that some how seeing him act in such way reminds him of yourself in the past

"sometimes acting for so long can make you wonder if people can really see through you or was it all fake." "but that is how it is right? how can other people know us when we don't even know ourselves?"

anyways! every now and then, cater would appear right on your doorsteps with small clothes and hats in shopping bags to give it to the salon members

it was funny to see your salon members have a new member and they treat him like their own son 😭🤍

as much as he want to tease you sometimes - he try not to over do it after seeing you let the salon trio chase after ace and grim all over the maze with threatening looks in their eyes.

"wow, mademoiselle crabaletta looks so energetic when she got to hit ace at the back of his head." "well, ace did pissed her off by playing rock paper scissors with her." "... did she win?" "i don't know, you tell me big brother cater."

... he will never let it down after owning his title as your big brother 😭 get ready to receive random gifts every now and then because this big brother cater is ready to spoil you to rotten

-‘๑’- ace trappola

having to get sprayed and hit by multiple bubbles in the face was certainly not on ace's list 😭 remind him to never play rock paper scissors with mademoiselle crabaletta ever again

he really like to be your friend genuinely 🙏 not that you mind though because ace is fun to talk too + you were able to adapt and learn about this world thanks to him, deuce and grim

but sometimes, he can be a little too reckless in roping you in trouble

"woah! (name) put mr seahorse down and let's talk about this!" "oh so you prefer my sword instead?" "it was just a harmless prank!" "then why is there an anemone on grim's head, again?!"

after you were comfortable enough to tell your story - ace thought he was actually dreaming because how did you stay sane after that 500 years?!

will ask you to help him with his studies and practicing magic + probably thought you were clueless but after years of searching every nook and nanny in your nation's library, you were like a walking dictionary

"how come you get a higher score than me in animal languages?!" "i was wondering how on teyvat did you get a lower score than me?"

omg you traitor 👩🏻‍⚖️

your number one buddy with midnight snacks + everytime he would sneak out of the dorm he always bring some sweets as a bribe to let him stay

there are times that you always fool ace by acting especially in front ofriddle when he accidentally dropped your cake in accident

despite the shenanigans between you two, he always trusts you to have his back

"(nickname) cover for me!" "alright! let the world come alive, hehe!"

whenever the salon members feel silly, they will go and chase after him and you just let them be - even they shower him with love in unexpected ways.

"recently, i've been wondering if Iife been a little too hard on myself in the past. i never got the chance to enjoy my life." "then let's go grab cater-senpai and go shopping!"

he will not let you experience such loneliness again! not when he is one of your first friend here in wonderland.

-‘๑’- deuce spade

opposite to ace, he is mademoiselle crabaletta's favorite for some reason or even the whole salon members are fond of him !

while he is more on the less troublesome side - he still make some troubles but you can see how much he was trying to not get you involve in it 😭

"deuce, you could've just told me earlier about this..." "i'm sorry, i don't want you to get involve again." "you are really a jester. we are friends! how can i not help you when you are facing problems?"

just as you listen to his problems, you were surprised that deuce is a great listener 😮 its not sarcasm !!

it first came to you during the octavinelle incident when deuce found you crying behind the ramshackle down, hugging your knees and being surrounded by your salon members, trying to calm you down

"i still couldn't do it... i do not belong in this world now i don't even have a place to stay..." "(name)..." "d-don't look at me like this! just give me a second." "no it's okay, let it out. i am so sorry for putting the pressure on you."

the sweetest guy??? ever??? he will try to include you in discussions about this world itself and wouldn't let you feel out of place

you even found him taking down notes whenever you get the chance to talk about your nation and people

"you have a dragon as a friend?!" "yea, don't let the dragon title fool you though. he is very kind but all he eats and drink is water every break time."

while ace had your back, deuce got your sides covered + knows fully how capable of being the front liner

"how dare you!?" "ah, (nickname) don't go to far!" "... remind me to never mess with her again."

remember the phantom back in the mines? you encountered one again and after it made one of your salon members disappear - the trio watch you literally annihilate the monster

seeing you all impatient and having a childlike temper made him laugh because you weren't so different from them after all

but please do not rush in battle so suddenly, you might as well give him a heart attack 😵

don't tell the others but deuce really looks up to you as an admirable person + not only you were able to endure everything for a long time, you still have the heart to forgive everyone who doubted you.

"do you know that you are really a respectable friend?" "...? oh my god, did you eat mushrooms for breakfast again?" "i'm serious!" "oh is that so? well i am proud of you. don't you know you improved a lot too?"

it's 7 am in the morning are you trying to make him cry? 🥹

having you with him during his high school life is an unexpected but wonderful experience - learning other things together + being interested in the same things? he had never felt such comfort before

deuce just hope that even though he and ace are seen as troublemakers, you won't hesitate to let your walls come down when times get rough 🫂

[thecousinsdangereux]

i just recently discovered your soulmate au and i loves it so much. so incredibly intriguing and well written and damn is it hot 🔥 thanks so much for sharing with us. in your mind, does it have a happy ending for them?

also wanted to ask if you'll be checking in to see the big warrior nun announcement coming tomorrow?

Ahhhh thank you! This ask is kind of tragic now given how everything with Warrior Nun ended up going, but I thought I'd use it as a way to share my ideas for the rest of a beggar in the morning, if anyone is interested in learning how it was going to go. Long story short, it was going to have a happy ending. :)

Here's a full outline for what I had in mind for the second half of the fic. Under the cut because it's very detailed in the parts that I'd started writing. Also in case anyone cares about spoilers? At the moment, I don't plan on finishing this fic, but I do plan on returning to writing in general, so guess there's a non-zero chance that I could come back to it. Stranger things have happened.

Beatrice keeps looking for the recipient of the Letter she's been trying to deliver and starts taking trips out into the countryside. She takes Ava's advice and takes to enjoying the journey - stopping into small cafes for lunch rather than eating in the car, taking the long way when it means she can enjoy a new view, etc.

During one of these side quests, she's told about a man who lives way off in the middle of nowhere who has the last name of Reis (the last name of the Letter recipient: Lara Reis), and she tracks him down. He had a sister who had a child with someone who was not her Match. I wanted to go more into what this looks like (and how the church is still anti-abortion in this world, because they think this could potentially ruin a future match, cue eye-roll) but in this case, the woman was basically run out of town. The man directs Beatrice to an orphanage where the child was raised.

This trail eventually goes cold because the orphanage has no records of the girl. They only know she left when she became of age.

The end of chapter six is basically Beatrice being frustrated and taking some 'advice' from Lilith to find someone to fuck hfkjshlk so she goes to the bar and ohhh nooo Ava is working that night, filling in for someone. Ava gets jealous, Bea does some shots, and it's basically a rehash of the lemon drop scene from the show, but hornier. Eventually, they make out, and decide to be friends with benefits.

Chapter 7 was honestly just going to be porn. lol. It's actually some of the first stuff I wrote for this fic - just a page of porn. Beggar came out of a Secret Santa fic exchange, and my friend Alex asked for lots of sex and a soulmate au. So... Chapter 7 was the payoff (part 2). Here's a few disjointed scenes, in case anyone is interested in reading some unedited very E-rated stuff.

A few months go by and all the nuns visit Beatrice for her bday and they're like huh so what's going on here and Beatrice has to pretend that it's not that serious with Ava (lol). I also wanted to do a conversation between Shannon and Beatrice where Shannon talks about the whole Mary thing and loving someone against the will of god (or at the very least, in the very gray areas).

The end of chapter seven is Ava finally talking about her past, which is that Ava doesn't remember hers. She woke up in a hospital without her memories and then spent the next decade traveling around trying to find something that felt like home.

In chapter 8, a lot of time passes, and the fucking continues. Beatrice is kind of losing it, poor girl.

I hadn't exactly decided what was going to happen next, but Ava was going to overstep in some way (or in some perceived way) and Beatrice was going to panic. Either Beatrice was going to have a brief thought about being in love, they were going to have reallyyyy soft sex, or something like that, but either way, Beatrice was going to have to admit she has deeper feelings for Ava than what's allowed allowed, so she goes back to Spain and ignores Ava's texts/calls/etc.

Eventually she realizes she owes Ava closure. She comes back and kind of explains why she's reacted the way she has. She gets more into why she joined the church and it's not for God or the Church itself, but because she does genuinely believe that love itself is holy. She admits she's falling in love with Ava, but she can't break her vows. She believes giving into her feelings would be putting herself above the whole history of love... the sanctity of the entire universe... and to be that selfish would be monstrous.

There's a callback to their early game of three questions, and how Ava still owes Beatrice one answer. Beatrice nearly asks if Ava loves her, but pulls back because she's scared of the answer. They basically break up, but Ava tells Bea to let her know when she's ready to ask her last question.

Beatrice takes it HARD. She buries herself in her work and starts visiting hospitals in various towns. She finds a Spanish doctor and he recognizes the number (or rather, the system behind the number) that is on Letter Beatrice is still trying to deliver. He tells Beatrice she's not looking for a hospital in Portugal, but rather in Spain - one in a small town in Andalusia. He mentions a patient who was in a coma, who woke up without her memories.

At this point, Beatrice obviously knows and she flies to Spain in daze. She visits the hospital, gives them the number, and asks for the name of the patient. When they'd brought the girl in, no one knew where she came from, she didn't have an ID, memories, etc. Nothing except for an old receipt from a restaurant in Portugal. ("Beatrice braces herself for what she already knows, but doesn't want to face.") The nurse at the hospital tells her they used a generic Portuguese name for the girl and it stuck: Ava Silva.

Beatrice visits Cat's Cradle because what else is she supposed to do? How is she supposed to deliver this Letter to Ava, who she's obviously in love with. She talks with Mary and we get the other side of the whole Mary/Shannon thing, and Mary is kind of like, okay, the Letters matter but they don't Matter. Beatrice asks Mary what she would do if she got a Letter (since Mary isn't a nun and could get one, but Shannon never could) and Mary basically says she would throw it away without opening it because she wouldn't want to give Shannon a reason to go self-sacrificial.

Of course, Beatrice doesn't really think this is her call to make. She's going to deliver Ava's Letter. There's this whole scene of her very dramatically and angstily getting ready for the delivery in the Official White Habit, then walking through the town she's come to associate so completely with Ava. And chapter 9 ends.

When Beatrice walks through the doors of the bar, Ava looks up, but doesn't seem surprised, even says 'oh, finally', which is pretty much the last thing that Beatrice expected, but then again, maybe it should have been the first, because Ava is always surprising her, and shouldn't she expect it by now? She asks Ava if she'd known that she was the person Beatrice had been trying to deliver to all along and Ava looks confused at this, like she hadn't considered that at all. "It's not that. I just knew my Letter would be coming because I'd already met you."

Beatrice is like, no no no. That's not how this works. It can't be me. I've been carrying this Letter with me this whole time - before I met you - and the Letters are only sent to a person when they've met their soulmate. And obviously, Beatrice is a nun and can't have a soulmate, etc. etc.

And then Ava says something like this: “Maybe every once in a while, God -- or the universe or whatever it is -- knows that it’ll be really hard to make two people meet organically, so it fudges the rules a little bit. Makes one girl a nun, makes another one hard to find, and sets up the dominos really early on."

And when Beatrice says she's being ridiculous/it's impossible, she says, "I know what’s in that letter. It’s you. I don’t need to open it to know it's you." and "Maybe it’s like some people say and god arranged it all. Fine. Then god chose me for you. Simple. He made me in this exact way, down to my hands and toes and whatever, so that I was perfect for his favorite creation in all of the universe. Because that has to be you."

And: "Or maybe it’s like what those other people say. You know - the past lives reincarnation stuff. Fine, then in our first lives we fell in love and then I found you in the second and third and the five hundredth. I found you and I picked you and I wanted you every time. Or okay, fine, maybe it’s what the the pseudo science people say. Even if those guys are right, I still know. It’s you because at the very start of the universe - at the very beginning of everything - we were the first two bits of something. The first two tiny little sparks. One of those was you and one of them was me. And even when we split off into a million trillion billion infinite pieces, the core of one was you. And the other one was me."

And: "In every religion or in any theory, the world exists so that I can find you again, and the world will do whatever it takes - bend the rules in whatever way - to make sure that at the exact right time, we would meet. And maybe it wasn’t perfect - maybe it was stupid hard for us to get to this point - maybe there was an easier way to make it happen - but I don’t care. Because it worked and I found you and I fell in love with you and I would do anything for that. So yeah. This Letter is telling me that I’m for you. That’s easy. It’s not faith. It’s just a fact.

And: "Besides, whatever’s on that paper? It’s going to be you. If it’s a picture of a butterfly, then it’s going to be you because of that time we went to the dam and one landed on your hand and you said “isn’t the world beautiful?” and that’s when I knew I loved you for the very first time. If it’s the notes to the first bar in At Last, then it’s you, because we used to play it all the time in the bar and I always thought it was fucking stupid to think you'd know like that right away, before everything, but it was the song that played in my head anyways when you walked in the bar that first night. There she is, I sort of thought, a dream that I can speak to."

"It could be any single word or phrase or letter and it would be you, because I love you and I love you so much I see you in every part of this entire world. I love you and I want to keep you with me always, and so you’re always there in my thoughts, slipping over and into everything else and I love it. It makes me love everything I see a little bit more, because it reminds me of you. It makes the world more beautiful."

"So, no offense, but I don't really give a fuck about the Letter. I already know it's going to be you. But I think you need to see it. So you know you’re not as selfish as you think you are."

And Beatrice admits that she wants to be with Ava anyways. Even if it makes her selfish. (Even if it makes her heretical.) Love is holy and what she feels for Ava is holy too, even if it's a sort of holy no one else will ever understand.

I went back and forth about whether they actually SHOULD open the Letter. lol. But I think I eventually settled on that they should, and that when Ava does open it, it's a blank page with like, 7 little dots and Beatrice is like??????????????? But Ava recognizes it instantly and it's the freckles on Beatrice's cheeks, the ones she's always tracing, and she does that again, following the ink on the paper.

Beatrice had been ready to give up her religion for Ava, so getting to keep it, maybe, suddenly is a LOT. She can't quite believe something divine would do something like this for her. But maybe she can believe that something divine would do something like this for Ava.

Later, I wanted Beatrice to have a conversation with Mother Superion. I thought it would be interesting to get into the philosophical bits of it. To debate if Ava could actually be right in her ideas about how this could be, and still fit into what they know about god/Letters/religion. I liked the idea of the conversation ending with neither of them really knowing, and Mother S being like, look girl, you'll never know for sure, but that sounds like faith to me. And Beatrice says no, no this is different, capital F Faith is for the divine. This is just trusting that Ava isn't lying about the freckles thing, or won't get tired of me, or won't find someone else. Etc etc etc. because it's panicking time for Beatrice, suddenly. And Mother Superion just raps her knuckles sort of in the most gentle way she can manage and says "That's love, Beatrice." in the way way someone might say "That's pussy, babe."

Beatrice does leave the church (though she eventually goes back to 'consulting' kind of like Mary). And when she does actually physically leave as well, Ava is waiting outside on a bench. Beatrice asks why she didn't just come inside, and she says something about being a little afraid of churches these days. She did steal god's favorite, after all.

And then they walk off into the sunset, with Beatrice being like wait a second, I thought you said this was all God's plan. And Ava shrugs and says that she would never willingly give Beatrice up, so god might come to her senses and change her mind.

I was going to end it there, but I did consider doing an epilogue as well. Early on in planning I had this idea where, years later, all the nuns regularly come over to the Silvas (because Ava does keep her 'second' name, though she does start to learn more about the Reis family, and meets her Uncle - the dude Beatrice learned about the orphanage from). And on one of these occasions, the nuns are all in white, and they're delivering Beatrice's Letter, which is addressed to Beatrice Silva. In the end, I decided against this, because I liked leaving it more open-ended, but nothing had been set in stone at this point, of course.

So yeah, that was going to be a beggar in the morning. lol. I plotted most of it out before I even started writing, because it wasn't the sort of story you could make up as you went and still tell it well. And I did want to tell the story well! There's a part of me that's sad that I wasn't able to, but I do think it was worth writing what I did. I really loved seeing people realize that Lara was Ava, even as early as chapter 5! And I also loved people coming up with theories about how Avatrice would be endgame. Some of them were honestly really good and maybe better than mine fhdskjhfd I had one person be like PLEASE let Ava's Letter be for someone else so they can metaphorically spit in god's face and honestly that was valid.

I don't know if anyone is going to bother to read this very, very long reply to an ask that doesn't actually ask for any of this, but it honestly just feels nice to put all these ideas together and 'complete' the story. Even if I've done it in the most half-assed way possible I am so sorry fhadskjlfhldsj

[liaragaming]

Did Solas and Lavellan do it?

I made a post a while back about my changing thoughts on whether or not Solas and my Lavellan did the deed, and I did not word it well, so let me try again.

It is 1000% up to Lavellan whether or not they slept together.

The entire Solas romance is him trying to hold back and then failing his Will save every time she touches him. He is incapable of denying her when her hands are on him. That is the important factor all of this hinges on.

It depends entirely on how YOUR Lavellan would have approached the subject.

If things just got hot and heavy one evening with kisses and touches and maybe a little champagne (looking at Solas being tipsy and perhaps a little too relaxed at the Winter Palace), then that man is doomed. Whether he would have preferred to have held back, it wouldn't matter. He would be incapable of thinking things through in the heat of the moment. We have seen that as a canonical fact.

But, if your Lavellan would have had a conversation about it and given Solas time to voice his concerns (like he does after the Fade kiss), and she acknowledges that and decides to wait until he's comfortable and is certain to make 100% sure he's comfortable with it before going through with anything, then Thank the Maker for Lavellan being the responsible one in this relationship.

It's Lavellan, not Solas who decides.

That was honestly the switch for me. Because my very first playthrough, I was picking up vibes during the Winter Palace quest line. And I had the idea in my head of Solas having a thought in the middle of things of "Wait. We shouldn't do this." And only recently have I realized - Nah, honey. The two of you have got a room. Half your clothes are off. You are already gone. You're going to have fun in the morning after the adrenaline and the champagne has worn off.

So yeah, Inan and Solas totally smashed because that's what she wanted and she thought he wanted it too, and they didn't have a conversation about it beforehand. And honestly, if asked in the heat of the moment, I think he'd say yes anyway because, of course, he would want this even if he would prefer to hold back. The question is if he would hesitate and if she'd pick up on it.

My point is, YOUR Lavellan completely steers the ship in this matter.

And if she's impulsive and not the kind to approach Solas beforehand and have a conversation about it when his mind isn't already clouded with longing, Creators help them both.

[rqnvindr]

fountain of tears

pairing: neuvilette x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff/comfort

word count: 1.8k

synopsis: neuvilette finds you standing by the fountain, alone the rain after an argument. his hidden turmoil can only be solved by hearing your voice again, tender, and unfiltered.

warnings: archon quest spoilers, arguments

a/n: I HAVEN'T POSTED ANY WRITING IN AGES BUT I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR MY OTTER HUBBY! enjoy!!

--

"this is pointless. i'm out."

your words wound neuvilette, the pain shooting deep into his bones. they ring over and over again in his conscious, louder than any vibration that had ever emanated from his cane to resume order during a trial. he sits in his office trying to work, but his thoughts don't subside, not one bit.

he ponders, staring at the stacks of papers in front of him, documents regarding cases that needed to be reviewed in due time. but not today. the amount of time he had in between today's working hours and the next trial reassured him that he could hyper-fixate on the last thing you said to him before storming out the door.

it's strange that he isn't worried for your safety as much as he is over the feelings rooted in your actions. the chief justice knows that humans are more fragile than those who have lived for eons. those who have experienced centuries of change were capable of adapting to different and unexpected circumstances through changing forms, and bestowing ancient powers of the past that contained the wisdoms and strength needed to guide them. he should be more concerned for where you could've possibly have gone within the last day. but he knows that you are also acquainted with a certain traveler that had recently arrived in fontaine and caused an uproar with the hydro archon in court already, everyone was. there's no way they could've left now, taking you with them on their travels. they still had unanswered questions left for lady furina. it is still a possibility though that you're at least staying with them, since you two were in good graces.

you weren't from fontaine though, and the image of you packing your bags and going home by yourself made him shiver. you did say you were heading "out" after all. he had to consider all of the possibilities.

neuvilette was new to human relationships. how long did it take for humans to draw the line? it varies for everyone, since they are given the freedom to dictate their personal connections to others to a certain degree. but how much was too much for you? when it came to you, he not only wanted to understand humans more, but also just you. he wanted to delve into all of your laughter, all of your worries, all of the sighs that escaped your pretty lips. to grasp it and memorize it all, was his greatest desire.

without you, he would basically lose his purpose for inserting himself into the realm of mortality. you already got him this far, and on top of that, he concluded that you were causing him to feel foreign emotions from removing yourself from his sight. even if it hurt, this was a test included in his journey that he had to endure.

but neuvilette does not want to face the predicament without a resolution. instead of wallowing, he decides to leave his office. he was already working overtime anyway, hoping to just drown in reading the same pages over and over again to keep himself grounded. was he always this sensitive? in his mind, he imagined the beings of the past looking down on him.

it's pouring rain when neuvilette steps outside. ah right. he doesn't need another reminder that his sorrows inconvenience the ordinary citizens of fontaine, who are just trying to make it to work on time, rush their loved ones to the doctor, and just go about their lives without the weather impeding on them. people barely carry umbrellas though, they're all accustomed to this and it's too unpredictable (at least for them it is).

he decides to start backwards, far away from the court of fontaine. he heads to the opera house first, and he finds you on the first try. how could he ever mistake you for someone else? you're the only person he has eyes for. especially when you're standing by the fountain of lucine, and carrying a distinct umbrella in a small crowd of people, most of whom appear to be flocked around the opera house's entrance, probably catching magic shows and other performances.

neuvilette is uneasy when he notices how close you're standing to the fountain. you're inevitably drawn to the grand structure that welcomes audiences from within the borders of the land and beyond to the renowned location. the spectacle that delivers the arts and the law all the same. but beneath its beauty lies danger that erases those who get too close. many fontainians had lost their lives from seeking the wonders of what lay beneath the waters that decorate and surround the hydro region itself. by wanting to delve deeper into it, they subsequently drowned, their lifeforce dissipating into the shackles of the streams. both the knowns and the unknowns of the primordial sea were sufficient reasons to express caution towards the lands waters, even if one was not a native who was subject to becoming one with their origins.

if you were to become the next victim, the rain would proceed to crash down and become one with the fountain in a continuous flow of precipitation. and then fontaine would be known as "the land of storms" rather than "the land of justice".

as he approaches the fountain, neuvilette's desire to pull you away and drag you back to him with no hesitation stirs. yet, it immediately dissipates when you turn your head, and give him what he guesses is a contemplative look. the white-haired man chooses his words carefully. giving you a lecture about the rumored dangers of the fountain's ability to dissolve human beings would only alarm you. he should use the rain as an excuse to find somewhere safer, if you still weren't ready to return to your shared residence.

"it-"

"i know. you're going to ask why i'm standing out here as if it isn't pouring rain." neuvilette barely gets a syllable out before you take the words right out of his mouth. you guys always had a habit of finishing each other's sentences, and even in a moment as anxiety-inducing as trying to make amends when you were mad at him, his heart melts. goodness, why did you have to be so lovely?

"if i were to let the rain impede everything, i guess i'd be a shut-in." you shrug. "it's been raining non-stop for the past couple of days. and no one seems to question it, so i just go along with it as if it's completely normal for it to be bright and sunny one day, and then cloudy and rainy the next day."

when you finish your thoughts, neuvilette still waits for you to continue. he was somewhat relieved that you were able to talk to him normally, but knew that there had to be more you had to say. were you going to officially end things between you two? say that you needed more time to think about the state of your relationship? he wasn't going to talk you out of anything, or start a debate. he respected your decision no matter what, even if it were to sting, he had to hear it. and the conversation had to go somewhere if he also wanted to deliver his side as well.

"i have heard some of the locals say though, that whenever it rains in fontaine, it is because the hydro dragon is crying." you say, as you gaze up at the sky. "i don't know if you have ever heard of it, but if such a tale were to be true, then i wonder what he could be going through for it to be pouring rain every other day."

neuvilette hopes he hid how quickly he blinked. normally he was good at hiding his reactions to hearing this "legend". although he never wanted to hide anything from you, the truth behind the mysterious precipitation was something he hadn't had the best opportunity to tell you about.

"yes, this is an old legend indeed. i often hear parents and caretakers telling this to children, whenever it's too wet to play outside." this was as much as the chief justice could water it down. he really did not want to lie before approaching a sensitive topic.

"as much as i would love to continue hearing the knowledge you have extracted from your time here, i have come here with another objective." neuvilette says. "i wanted to apologize for upsetting you. i have also been worried about you for the past few days. you do not have to disclose your whereabouts from the period in which we were apart, but i am happy that you're safe."

"it's alright, really." you reply calmly. "i was also in the wrong for storming out like that and not communicating with you. i was pretty upset, yeah, but i should've just told you that. i'm sorry for being immature and leaving you in the dark."

neuvilette notices tears streaming down your eyes. as your head tilts downward, they drop to the ground and blend in with the rain droplets. instead of offering you his handkerchief, he gently caresses both sides of your face with his gloved hands. you lean into his touch more, until you're wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace, letting your umbrella drop to the ground. he reciprocates, stiffly at first, but then holds you with no intentions of letting you go.

you're no longer choking back sobs, and then the sky clears up as the rain comes to a stop. you pull away from the hug to observe the sky, staying connected with your hands intertwined this time.

"wow...the hydro dragon must have been distraught watching us as if we were his new favorite play or something." you laugh.

neuvilette chuckles, knowing that you would of course find the occurrence to be a mere coincidence. "it seems that he must be quite fond of you, my dear."

"well, i'm already taken so i guess he will have to stick to me being his favorite character." you shrug obliviously with a smile.

as your lover, neuvilette has adjusted to being more vulnerable with you. you had seen the good and the bad sides of him, the latter especially during the latest argument that the two of you had now cleared up. and even then, you still let him back in. he doesn't have to worry about baring his entire soul to you now, and will slowly navigate you through his past and identity as the hydro dragon, who entered human society as the iudex. the vulnerable figure whose emotions affect the weather, and struggles to connect with others. you're the one worthy of knowing the truth though, and he makes a promise to himself to never hide anything from you from here on out.

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

[crypticslytherin]

Rescued || Sebastian Sallow

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Parings: Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Summary: A few years after Sebastian was sent to Azkaban, you couldn’t bare for him to be there anymore. You felt guilty for his imprisonment, and your love for him had never truly left.

Word Count: 2805

This is my first One Shot AHHH I hope you like. C:

⚯͛▕⃝⃤ ⚯͛▕⃝⃤ ⚯͛▕⃝⃤ ⚯͛▕⃝⃤

"What have I done?" you whispered to yourself, standing amidst the ruins of Feldcroft, once a lively hamlet now reduced to ash and bones. The air was heavy with the scent of burned flesh, blood, and smoke, a grim reminder of the recent battle between villagers and goblins. Weapons, tainted with goblin silver, lay about, silent witnesses to the violence that had unfolded.

Before you stood the remains of the Sallow home, a mere shadow of its former self. Books lay scattered among the rubble, their pages torn and tattered, while scraps of fabric bore witness to the ferocity of the flames. A tear traced its path down your cheek as you clutched your wand tightly, half-expecting some lingering threat to emerge from the devastation around you.

If only Sebastian were still here. He would have known this was happening when it happened. But he wasn't, and you couldn't shake the guilt that weighed heavy on your heart. Ever since Sebastian murdered his uncle Solomon, you'd felt guilty. You had helped and encouraged him in his quest to find a cure for Anne. You never could have imagined it would lead to such darkness.

When Ominis suggested turning Sebastian in to the authorities, you remained silent, paralyzed by indecision and fear. He was sent to rot in Azkaban. Now, years later, Sebastian's haunting cries echoed in your dreams, accusing you of betrayal, of abandonment. He pleaded for your help with tears in his eyes, and you found yourself suffocating.

You loved Sebastian, fiercely and unconditionally, and the thought of him suffering tormented you to your core. You knew what you had to do, what you should have done long ago. You would find a way to make amends, to seek forgiveness for your silence. You would tell Sebastian the truth, apologize for failing him when he needed you most.

And you would do whatever it took to make things right.

As you stepped back, the click of your feet echoed along the pavement, filling the heavy silence around you. With your wand clenched firmly in your grasp, you drew in a deep breath, the crisp air filling your lungs. Closing your eyes, you felt unsure without a precise destination in your mind. All you knew was that you would reach Azkaban, though Sebastian's exact location remained unknown. You conjured a vivid mental image of the fortress's interior, a place you had visited once during your fifth year.

"Apparate," you uttered softly, your wand tracing a swift arc through the air. Instantly, a sensation of pressure enveloped your body as you hurtled through space. As the disorienting spin came to a stop, you felt the solid ground beneath your feet transition to cold, unforgiving stone. The once-brilliant sunlight vanished, replaced by a darkness that seemed to swallow the very essence of light. A wave of nausea briefly washed over you, prompting a hand to press against your chest as you steadied yourself. Your eyes adjusted to the dimness as you gazed down a wide, shadowed pathway.

The walls were lined with cells on both sides, the desperate screams of prisoners echoing off the cold stone, sending a shiver down your spine. Gathering your courage, you took a hesitant step forward, knowing all too well what awaited you.

Dementors, the guards of Azkaban, began closing in on you.

As they drew nearer, you could feel the chill of their presence enveloping you, draining the warmth from your body. Their hooded figures glide effortlessly, their eerie movements sending a sense of dread through your veins. The air grew colder, and a thick mist seems to swirl around them, obscuring their ghastly forms.

With trembling hands, you raise your wand and summon the courage to cast the spell. "Expecto Patronum!" you shout, the words echoing through the oppressive atmosphere. A silvery mist bursts from the tip of your wand, taking shape and form. It materialized into a powerful Patronus, a radiant shield against the darkness.

The Dementors recoiled at the sight of the Patronus, their spectral forms shrinking back from its brilliance. They let out unearthly wails, their icy grip weakening as they retreat from the protective barrier of light. With each passing moment, the threat diminishes, until finally, the Dementors fade into the shadows, defeated by the strength of your Patronus.

"Revelio, Sebastian Sallow," you whispered, wand poised as you hurried down the pathway. Inside their cells, prisoners' wails echoed, a symphony of despair. Above, a faint green outline materialized on a higher floor, pacing restlessly. Sebastian. With cautious determination, you navigated the corridors, the air thick as inmates hurled profanities at you. Some resorted to self-harm, slamming their heads against the stone as their desperate cries fillied the air.

The environment was suffocating, the weight of Sebastian's presence in Azkaban bearing down on you once more.

How could you have let this happen?

The staircase stretched seemingly endlessly as you continued to cast Revelio, refusing to lose sight of Sebastian. Finally reaching the correct level, a metal door blocked your path. "Alohomora," you whispered, the lock yielding effortlessly to the flick of your wand.

Your heart raced as you cautiously navigated the dim hallway, the atmosphere just as somber and bleak as the last one. The chilly air caused the hairs on your arms to stand on end. Approaching Sebastian's cell, doubt gnawed at you. Was coming here a mistake? You wondered how he might appear after all these years in Azkaban—whether he'd be a mere shadow of himself or if the glimmer still remained in his eyes. Your breaths grew unsteady.

"Oi! What are you doing here?" A grim voice pierced the air, and you turned to see an elderly man to your left, his hands clutching the steel bars of his cell tightly. His eyes were sunken, the darkness beneath them almost consuming, and his head was bald, his prisoner garb stained with sweat and blood. His gaze drilled into you like black holes. A predatory hunger gleamed in his eyes as he licked his lips, sending a shiver down your spine. "You'd make an excellent toy."

"Silencio," you whispered, flicking your wand toward him. His head jerked back, hands flying to cover his mouth, rendering him unable to utter another word. Pressing forward, you approached Sebastian's cell.

Standing beside it, you leaned against the cold stone wall, uncertainty flooding your mind. Your heart pounded against your chest, your palms growing clammy with anticipation. Each step felt heavy as you moved to the front of the steel bars, peering in cautiously.

There he was, pacing back and forth. As your shadow cast across the floor on the other side of the bars, his restless movements ceased. Sebastian's gaze met yours, a mixture of surprise and recognition flickering in his caramel eyes. You let out a soft breath of air.

Sebastian stood tall, his figure appearing slender within the confines of the cell. His once vibrant auburn hair now hung in unkempt and greasy strands, a stark contrast to its former lively tussle. Despite his exhaustion, there was a lingering trace of his former charm. His eyes, still resembling caramel, held a weariness that spoke volumes, yet they retained a glimmer of their former warmth. Freckles adorned his face, their playful dance seemingly unaffected by his  state of despair

As you gazed upon him, a surge of conflicting emotions washed over you. Relief mingled with sorrow, and the guilt pressed even harder. This was the consequence of your actions, of the choice that led Sebastian to this desolate place. Yet, there was a flicker of hope. You believed that perhaps, with your help, he could become himself again.

With trembling hands, you reached out to touch the cold steel bars separating you, the barrier that had kept him imprisoned for far too long. There was a palpable ache in your heart, a silent plea for forgiveness.

Sebastian's lips parted as if to speak, but no words emerged, silenced by the oppressive atmosphere of Azkaban. His shoulders, once squared with confidence, now slumped. You could sense longing in his expression, the yearning for freedom that mirrored your own.

Taking a steadying breath, you reached your arm out to him, your voice barely above a whisper. "Sebastian," you said softly, the weight of your words hanging in the air between you. "It's time to go home."

 Slowly, almost hesitantly, he extended his arm, fingers trembling as they reached out to touch yours. For a moment, his hands lingered in the space that separated the two of you, then bridging the gap. In that fleeting instant, it felt as though time stood still, the weight of your shared history heavy in the air.

With a gentle squeeze of his hand, you offered him a small smile, a silent reassurance. His hands felt like ice, and as you stroked the top of his hand with your thumb, you could almost feel his skin defrosting.

"Hold on tightly, Sebastian," you whispered, quickly glancing around to ensure no one had approached. He tightened his grip on your hand, his eyes never leaving yours. "Apparate."

The familiar squeezing sensation of apparition enveloped you as you whisked away to a new location. Your feet touched down on wooden floors, your hand still firmly clasped in Sebastian's, reluctant to let go. Shaking your head lightly to dispel the brief wave of nausea, you opened your eyes.

There you both stood, in the comforting surroundings of your cottage nestled in the hills of Clagmar Coast. The familiar scents of firewood and pumpkin pastries filled your nostrils, and the warm, cozy environment provided a stark contrast to the bleakness of Azkaban. A crackling fire danced in the hearth, casting a comfortable glow over the room. 

You glanced at Sebastian, noticing the toll the apparition had taken on him. It seemed he hadn't traveled that way in a long time, if ever. Guiding him gently, you led him to the worn sofa by the fireplace and helped him settle down. Grabbing a folded knit blanket from the back, you draped it over him, providing comfort and warmth.

His eyes met yours in the soft light, revealing the paleness of his complexion and the exhaustion etched in his features. His cheeks were hollow, and dark circles marred his under eyes, evidence of sleepless nights endured in imprisonment. As the nausea subsided, his gaze held yours as you knelt before him, your hand resting gently on his lap.

"Sebastian, I am so sorry," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion as you poured out the thoughts that had weighed heavily on your mind for years. Tears welled in your eyes as you blamed yourself for his suffering. With a tender touch, you cupped his cold, hollowed cheek in your hand, his eyes closing as he leaned into your touch. 

"When everything happened, I froze. I didn't know what to say to Ominis..." Tears began to stream down your cheeks. "So I said nothing. I could have prevented this, but instead... I was a coward."

Sebastian softly nuzzled his face against your hand, finding solace in your comforting presence.

"This is all my fault," you whispered, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I couldn't bear for you to suffer any longer. I had to do something. I had to get you out of there."

Sebastian tenderly lifted his arm from beneath the blanket, gently placing his hand over yours that rested on his cheek. A soft smile graced his lips as he closed his eyes, breaking the heavy silence with a whisper. "Finally," he murmured, his words carrying a hint of disbelief. "I'm free. I've made it to the afterlife."

-

Your heart wrenched at his words, realizing the depth of despair he had endured. Swiftly, you reached your other arm out, gently clasping his other hand in yours. "No, Sebastian," you murmured, your voice filled with compassion. "You've not gone on. You're here, with me. You're still alive."

Sebastian's eyes fluttered open, and you felt a pang in your heart as you gazed at the man you loved. The man who occupied your thoughts every morning and every night. With a tender squeeze of his hand, you rose from your kneeling position and settled beside him on the couch. He turned his fragile body slowly to face you.

"I can't be?" he whispered, disbelief coloring his voice.

Taking a deep breath, you moved closer to him, your leg brushing against his. Releasing his hand, you gently reached out, running your fingers through his disheveled hair and letting your hand rest on the side of his neck. He lifted his arm, placing his hand on yours as it extended toward him.

"You are, Sebastian. This is real. I am real."

Sebastian's expression softened, gratitude and wonder shimmering in his eyes. Slowly, he leaned into your touch, his hand tightening around your arm as if anchoring himself to this newfound reality.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he confessed, his voice choked with emotion. "I thought... I thought you couldn't bear to look at me. After... what I did." His gaze fell to your lap, tears escaping his eyes, leaving wet paths along his cheeks. "I'm a monster," he trembled.

"No, Sebastian," you said firmly, stroking his cheek with your thumb, gently wiping away stray tears. "That is so far from the truth. You are not a monster."

Drawing closer, you locked eyes with him, determined to make him see himself as you did. "You are incredible," you began, your voice soft but unwavering. "You're funny, and intelligent. You have a heart of gold, and you've shown me kindness and compassion like no one else ever has."

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips as you continued. Feeling the bones of his shoulder beneath your hand as you moved them, you gripped him softly. "You're the best person I've ever known, Sebastian. I have missed you so much. Every day. I should've rescued you sooner. If anything, I'm the monster. For not stopping Ominis. For letting this happen to you." Choked up, you stared at the broken man before you. "Merlin, Sebastian. I cannot tell you how horribly I feel."

"Stop," Sebastian whispered, his eyes flicking back up to meet yours. He released his hand from your arm, and with shaky fingers, he reached out to touch your cheek, mirroring your gesture. His touch, though cold, was comforting. You felt warmth spread over you, relishing in the moment you thought would never happen. He was here, with you, in your home. "You are no monster, Y/N. This is not your fault. Thoughts of you were the only thing that kept me sane in that place. You consumed me. You were my light in the darkness. I love you, Y/N"

The lump in your throat returned, and tears relentlessly began to stream from your eyes. He smiled softly, a smile you thought had disappeared forever. The sight of it sparked a rush of emotions within you — relief, joy, and an overwhelming sense of love. It felt as though a weight had been lifted from your chest, and you couldn't help but return his smile, your heart swelling with affection. "I love you, Sebastian."

As you gazed into his eyes, you felt a wave of tenderness wash over you. Every feature of his face seemed to hold a lifetime of memories — the curve of his lips, the sparkle in his eyes, the lines etched around his eyes from countless smiles shared between you. In that moment, you were overcome with gratitude for his presence, for the chance to hold him close.

Without hesitation, you rose slightly from where you were sitting, your movements guided by a yearning that had lingered in the depths of your soul. Moving your hand back to the side of his neck, you savored the coolness of his skin beneath your touch, the sensation grounding you in this moment of raw vulnerability.

As you leaned in to press your lips to his, you felt a surge of longing flood your senses. His kiss was like a balm to your wounded heart, a reminder of the depth of your connection and the strength of your bond. Despite the chill that lingered on his lips, you were enveloped in a warmth that radiated from deep within you, filling every corner of your being with a sense of completeness.

His hands found their way to you, one resting on your side, the other tangling gently in your hair. With each caress, each tender touch, you felt a rush of emotions — passion, desire, and an overwhelming sense of belonging. In his embrace, you found solace.

As you melted into him, the boundaries between you blurred, and for a fleeting moment, you were lost in the intensity of your connection. It was as though time stood still, the world falling away around you as you surrendered to the embrace of your love. And in that moment, as your lips moved together in a silent dance of longing and desire, you knew that nothing in this world could ever tear you apart again.

[a-person-whos-alive]

Why TotK fails Zelda

Heads up, this is a long post. Ive cut this down like a motherfucker but it still reads very long. My thoughts are divided into four main categories;

1. Her relationship with her magic & tech

2. Her relationship with Hyrule

3. Her relationship with Link

4. Her relationship with the player

Also, these are my opinions, I'm certain there are people with far better analysis skills than me! I am just in love with this franchise and a little disappointed with the recent game. Zelda as a character holds a special place in my heart and its sad that her character was done dirty like this.

Theres a TLDR at the end and before I forget, SPOILERS!!!

1. Her relationship with her magic & tech

Zelda is not someone who magic came easily to, and I think BotW & AoC did a great job exploring that. They contrasted her natural interest with the sheikah technology and her lack of power and it was 😘👌

How did TotK do? With the Zonai tech being the main selling point, how would Zelda, a scholar at heart, interact with it? To my memory, the only interaction she has is to put Mineru's soul into a piece of Sheikah tech and hand it to a construct.

Well what about magic? Finding out she has light AND time powers was at first a great throwback to OoT with the Sage of Time. The fact that her Time magic awakened immediately unlike the Light magic in the last game was a nice contrast. But then, she immediately has a similar dilemma, she can't USE her magic to propel herself forward because she doesnt know how. Unlike BotW though, she has the "mother" she was lacking to teach her. This was a decent set-up. It was different enough to be its own thing but still was familiar enough. This is up to memory 4 - Mineru's Council

The issue the NEXT MEMORY, memory 5 - Gerudo Assualt shows her being even more proficient than Sonia. We don't see her train, or struggle, or even ask a question about how the stone works. She just does. It's not until memory 8 do we see her get any guidance about her powers? And even then we don't see her attempt recall at all. In the next memory she simply uses it perfectly and effortlessly.

The purpose of her strengthening Time Magic was to get back home. Yet, she gets back home by swallowing a sacred stone, that she already had the ability to do at any point. She turns into the LIGHT dragon, using her LIGHT magic to strengthen the Master Sword. Her whole arc about her magic was pointless because in the end she used the powers from the previous game for everything important.

2. Her relationship with Hyrule

Positives first! Its clear that Zelda loves her people, and during the 7? year gap she obviously took the time to connect with them and problem solve. Penn's quest really demonstrates this, and so does the Hateno school quest. (Even if the children don't believe in the Calamity). I found it very endearing that the people had such faith in her, that even with Ganondorf causing havoc with her face, people refused to believe it. The Great Fairies MUST have seen wrong because it was dark, Dorephan MUST have been mistaken, the Stable Trotters MUST have seen someone else - Zelda wouldn't do that.

I additionally liked that Zelda wasn't immediately trying to set up a monarchy again. In fact, she seemed to be doing the opposite. She wasn't living in Central Hyrule, at Looking Landing, she was living in Hateno. She was a teacher, and on some level a researcher (even if the Don Dons were scrapped ideas from the first trailer).

But the second she goes to the past, she is put back in her box. Her interests in tech are non-existant, she does not interact with anyone who isn't royalty, the King doesn't listen to her about Ganondorf and tells her to not to worry - after all she's just supposed to wear that white dress and hope her magic works soon. She's regressed back to before the Calamity, waiting for something terrible she knows is coming and is powerless to stop.

Crucially, she doesn't speak to Ganondorf once.

This is by far the most egregious waste of their characters in my opinion, and I've just deleted a 3 paragraph Ganondorf discussion - another time. But come on! This is legitimately the PERFECT scenario for Zelda to find about about WHY people opposed her royal family, WHY everyone she's ever loved died in Calamity caused by this guy, WHY she's had to go through all this. But no, if they did talk, it wasn't on screen.

Ive seen in translations of parts of one of the interviews with a developer saying she was able to see what a ruler should be like by going to the past, but until a see an official source I'm going to hope that's not true

3. Her relationship with Link

"Link is still entrusted with the role of protecting Princess Zelda." - Hidemaro Fujibayashi https://www.npr.org/2023/09/13/1199307678/zelda-tears-of-the-kingdom-dlc-video-game. Maybe I'll write a post about Link sometime, but I'm focusing on just him and Zelda.

Whether you ship the two or not, the pair would obviously have a unique bond from both fighting the Calamity and losing the Champions/everyone. So, how did the pair cope with the destruction of everything the love? How did Zelda come to terms with the ruins of Castle Town, the harsh reality of all those who were dead? Zelda doesn't have Link's amnesia to temporarily soften the inital blow.

TotK explores none of this.

Similarly, there is a level of formality on how Zelda speaks of Link. When she tells Rauru of Link she starts, "He is a royal knight. He had been originally appointed for my protection, but later he became a hero by saving both me and Hyrule from a great evil". Not "he and I became close" or even "he became my friend". Zelda is talking to the two people closest to her right now,

All their interactions are the bare minimum.

Link has ALWAYS been a self insert for the player, but he's still a character, and more recently Nintendo has been acting like having emotions means a player can't project onto them. Zelda is Link's closest person, and when she returns he is piece of cardboard, at least help her up!

4. Her relationship with the player

First, as everyone who played BotW will know, many things were removed or changed in TotK to allow it to be standalone for new players. Sheikah tech was removed, important characters forgot Link, the majority of the last game was rarely if ever mentioned. Kass

However TotK does not properly establish Link and Zelda for new fans AND doesnt not elaborate for old fans. They interact twice until the end - the intro and memory 1. All of her characterisation is in that little history moment, the rest of it is 50% sacred power lore and 50% time power lore. Additionlly, anyone who is new to the game has no context for her light powers.

Actually, TotK literally retcons her light magic to be from Rauru and not Hylia. Which was the WHOLE POINT of BotW so great sequelling there guys.

TLDR: The Conclusion

Wow, you made it this far. Or you skipped to end, I would too. My main gripes with Zelda:

> She doesn't interact with Zonai Tech.

> Her arc is about learning time power to go home, only for her to not use said magic and instead use the light magic from the last game to fix the sword and be a light dragon.

> Having her worries about Ganondorf shot down by the King and not holding her ground/ insisting (did you learn nothing from Rhoam??)

> never interacting with Ganondorf him being in Hyrule as a diplomat

> nintendos approach to her and link, they dont once touch while both conscious. Not even a handshake or pat on the shoulder. See images above with prev. Zelda and Link.

> the instance on making it not complicated for accessibility to new players, but also not fleshing it out enough to be compelling on its own.

[emrylurkeroftheloch]

DRK Thoughts - A Solid B At Best

This write up will naturally include spoilers for all of the Dark Knight questline from 30 to 60, so please be warned. It also includes spoilers for the end of post ARR, so please be cautious! With that said, let's begin, shall we?

Dark Knight is often heralded as one of the best quests in Final Fantasy 14. Indeed, this is how it was introduced to me - highly recommended, suggested to be done the moment it was unlocked. I was told it was an incredible storyline, one that had to be experienced, and was best experienced as soon as possible. It was with this context, and precious little else, that I went into this questline.

I found myself disappointed.

I commented to my dearly beloved, who had recommended this questline to me, that I found it a worse version of the rogue's guild. It is at its request that I am performing this write-up of my thoughts, and that I am sharing them with you all. She also encouraged me to push forward, to complete it up until level 60, and see how I felt after that. And so, I did! Here are my thoughts, and my insights into the Dark Knight Questline, and why I personally find it to be a solid B Tier at best.

Before we delve deeper into the matter of the Dark Knight Questline - Shortened to DRK questline from here on for our convenience - I feel it is important to provide some insight into who I am, and my experience with this game. So, hello, my name is Piralos, I am from the north of England, and I think people should be nice to each other. I knew of final fantasy 14 before beginning this, of course, you'd be hard pressed to find someone online who didn't. However, before beginning the game, I had no knowledge of the story, or the ideas there within. The Bloody Banquet, as I've found out it was called, took me entirely by surprise, and it is off the back of this that I engaged in the Dark Knight storyline.

However, at the beginning of this storyline is not where we shall begin. As those who have played the story well know, the DRK questline is split into relatively distinct parts. The first covers level 30 to level 50, whilst the latter covers level 50 to level 60. These will be abbreviated to 30-50 and 50-60 respectively, for convenience. Our focus shall be on the latter portion of the storyline for the first part of this write up. Now, let us begin.

DRK 50-60: A Dad, A Daughter, And A Stranger Walk Into A Bar

As those who have played, during this portion of the story, you are accompanying the dark knight Sidguru and his ward, Rielle. It plays out as a rather classic story - a father figure and a girl bereft of parents, naturally leading to found family dynamics. A well loved archetype, seen in a number of popular pieces of media - Logan and The Last of Us spring to mind especially as recent examples of this done exceptionally well. We join them on this journey as they battle against Ishgardian knights, and ultimately discover the truth of Rielle's origins, and her legacy.

Now, with our stage set, let's move to our analysis! First, I'd like to begin with some of the things that I quite enjoyed about this questline.

Rielle, as a character, was downright exemplary. Her story arc of her finding her voice was stirring and delightfully well executed - to see her grow from a meek girl to someone willing to stand up to her own mother was a delight. Indeed, she carried the story for me - not only in so far as she was the driving force for it, but her characterisation and growth were a delight to experience. Her anger and frustration towards Sidurgu for simply using her to facilitate his own vengeance, her anger towards her mother, her learning to speak for herself, it was a delight.

On a similar note, I found the ending scene to be downright gorgeous. From a shot composition perspective it was incredible, and Rielle finally standing up to her mother, this woman who has caused her so much grief, and to find her own voice? To reject her mother's world, her mother's vision, and to speak for herself? It was incredible! Indeed, so to was Sidurgu's character at the end of this. His mercy, mirroring his lack of such earlier in the story, out of a desire not to have Rielle suffer the same trauma he knew was incredible. At first, I wasn't a fan of this ending, but it was pointed out to me by my beloved that, in his execution, he was prioritising Rielle's wishes over his own, showing his own growth. This only serves to further elevate an already gorgeous scene - one that, at time of writing, is easily among my favourites from this game.

However, this also elegantly brings us to some of the features of this story that I was less fond of. Most critically, I found Sidurgu abbrasive, rude, and I found his shift at the end abrupt and frankly rushed. Furthermore, the execution of the ending, with Sidurgu stating that they will be going back to Ishgard, I found to undermine the growth just shown. Sidurgu is so full of rage throughout the story - indeed, his arc is about learning what it means to be a Dark Knight, and where that power is drawn from. Whilst this seems like it would set up a compelling narrative, I find it suffers from a critical issue - one that becomes all the more obvious when we compare the DRK 50-60 questline to other pieces of media that cover a similar archetype.

Compare, if you will, the characterisation of Sidurgu to that of Logan in Logan, or Joel in The Last of Us. They are both father figures, thrust into the lives of their young wards, the only one who can protect them from those that would harm them - and forced to commit incredible violence in order to do so. However, our latter two protaganists have something critical that Sidurgu lacks. They are shown being soft. Joel demonstrates this in the incredibly well known opening of TLoU - a gut wrenching scene in which he attempts to get his own daughter to safety as the appocalypse breaks out, and she ends up dying in his arms. This moment of softness from him, paired with his open grief, endears us to him. We see him not just as a gruff arsehole, but a man who has suffered, and has hurt. We know his suffering as though it is our own. This is a pattern we see again in Logan. Our titular character spends the early portion of the movie looking after an aged Professor Xavier, who is losing control of his psychic powers. We see him hurt and harmed, and yet still be kind. He is old, and worn, but he still makes efforts to be kind despite it all. Once again, this endears us to him, especially in the later portions where he has to fulfill the role of a gruff father figure. We understand his pain, we know his history. We know he has this depth to him, we have born witness to it, and so we come to appreciate his gruffness as the facade it is.

Not so for Sidurgu. Certainly, that softness could be inferred, but it is never shown. I would go as far to say as it is never even implied. The only Sidurgu we ever see is a gruff, shouty, angry arse, who's main focus is delivering retribution upon those who hurt him before. He has anger, and that anger is certainly justifiable, but we never see a level of softness to him. I understand this is something the other translations fix, but we are discussing the English version - and in this version, the version of Sidurgu we get is abbrassive and angry. The closest we get to softness is the scene in the inn, where he offers Rielle another apple - which reads more like a fumbled attempt to apologise, than any actual display of kindness or softness. If the softness is there, it is like a shot of a city populated with faceless figures. It is implied to be there, but never explored. Never given any depth beyond the promise that it exists, never truly shown.

This, I find, leads to Sidurgu feeling abbrassive and frustrating to deal with, without any of the softness to endear us to him before this occurs. Instead, he is simply aggressive and angry at all times, until there is a sudden switch at the end.

"But Piralos", I hear you cry, "what about the moogles?! What about the moogle scene?" Let's talk about the Moogles.

Moogles, Bathos, and Tone

The moogle portion of this questline is one that I find equal parts frustrating and incredibly entertaining. The latter is due to the quests that they have you departing upon - collecting flowers, defeating monsters, and ultimately facing them to rescue Rielle. It is a delightful little jaunt, one that would be well at home in the early portions of ARR - which is exactly the reason I take issue with it.

I'll not keep you in suspense, dear reader - the moogle section undercuts the narrative tension of the piece, and throws the tone completely out of the window. I personally drew the comparison to the Trolls scene in Frozen - those who are familiar will recall it takes place during what is meant to be a time of incredibly high stakes. One of the main protaganists is about to die unless they find how to save her, and so they go to these mystical trolls! Except the trolls break out into song, and it's all joyous. All the tension the narrative had just built up was shattered in a single moment. So to did I find the moogles - in a critical moment in the story, where we're aiming to find out the truth behind Rielle, and what it means to be a Dark Knight, we go and visit… The fluffy idiots.

Now, I must note, I have no dislike for moogles! Indeed, I find them incredibly entertaining, and endearing in their delightful stupidity. The King Mog quest was one I took much joy in fulfilling, and I find that moogles are often sources of naught but joy. Which is exactly the issue with them, in this moment.

The moogles undercut the narrative tension of the story, by interrupting this escalation with their rampant silliness. They perform something known as bathos. Those who have seen modern marvel movies will know it well, the undercutting of tension with a quip or a joke or such. It oft speaks of writers lacking confidence in their own writing, in their narrative tension, and so they seek to undercut the jokes the audience makes by making mockery of their own works.

Now, I don't believe that this is the case here. Rather, I feel like the inclusion of the moogles is simply what can be generously called a mistake. They undercut any weight the narrative holds, and ultimately undermine the story being told.

Consider, perhaps, if instead of heading to the moogles as the third visit, had we visited them second? The tension of the narrative had not been put so high, and so instead we find ourselves enjoying this brief moment of levity before things become more serious. Perhaps we visit them, and they direct us to Gridania, which then leads us to the ultimate escalation, and the ultimate danger: Visiting the dragons. Here, perhaps, we finally discover the truth, and finally learn what it truly means to be a Dark Knight.

This kind of escalation, I feel, would have both used the moogles better, and enabled the narrative to keep its tension as it escalated. Reaching these draconic heights, risking it all to gain this information, and then having to face Rielle's mother? Having these beliefs put to the test? It would, in my humble opinion, far better use the narrative tension of the story.

However, despite all of these critiques, and the numberous issues I draw with the DRK 50-60 questline, I do still hold that it is a decent story. Far from the best, but it is a far cry from the worst thing this series has produced. The base narrative is enjoyable, Rielle is a fascinating character, and there are the bones of an incredible story within this piece. Overall, whilst I don't believe the story deserves the praise it gets, I do believe that it is a very solid questline - it would be at home alongside other pieces such as the Miner's Guild questline, or the Thaumatuge's guild questline.

Of course, this is only half of the story. Let us delve deeper into the darkness, dear reader, and discover what is required to reach this point.

DRK 30-50: Don't You Want To Go Apeshit?

Ah, here we are. The Dark Knight 30-50 questline. The one people seem to be oh so fond of, the one that introduces Fray, the Dark Knight slain by the temple knights. We begin by collecting his spirit stone, and then begins our communion with him. As I understand it, this is the portion of the story which hooks people, which draws them in, and keeps them interested.

I hated it.

Now, perhaps that isn't fair. Hate is a powerful word, and I don't honestly believe this quest is deserving of that title. It was, however, an incredible slog to get through. The questlines were at best frustrating, and Fray as a character was edgy, hateful, and all around more of an annoyance to converse with than an excitement. Were it not for assurances that things got better, that this storyline was worth sticking with, I don't believe I would have ever finished this questline. As much as I would love to dive straight into the issues I had with it, some context is first required.

This questline shares an overarching theme: These people are weak, they are taking advantage of you, and you should be angry about it. This is an idea that comes up multiple times within the storyline - most obviously in the Little Ala Mhigo quest, where you are asked to slay some monsters that are terorrising the locals, and in the La Noscea quest, where a merchant asks you to retrieve his stolen merchandise. In the former, Fray - your mentor on this journey - critiques the people of Little Ala Mhigo for being weak, and mocks them after being terrified when you return, covered in the monster's blood. In the latter, the merchant complains after you destroy his merchandise, covering it in blood, and demands you pay 50%. Fray viciously insults him, and the guard standing nearby has to calm you, saying he's certain the merchant has learned his lesson.

Now, both of these quests share another feature as well - both are the result, not of personal failings on the part of the quest giver, but that of the society around them. The merchant in La Noscea tries to petition the guards for help, but they are all spread too thin, due to mismanagement. It is their job, but there are none to do it. In Little Ala Mhigo, the refugees have been rejected by the city of Ul'Dah - something which comes up in an earlier quest, where you have to save some of the young refugees from getting themselves killed in an ill thought out rebellion. Had these people not been failed by their govenments, neither of these quests would be required.

However, does Fray ever acknowledge this? Indeed, does the questline ever acknowledge this? No. It simply says that we should be angry at them for being weak, angry for not being strong enough to simply solve these issues themselves. Now, this belies an issue I find throughout this whole questline, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The issues I draw with this questline are two fold, and they must be addressed as such. One regarding the metatexual context around it - that is, how the questline intersects with me, the player - and one regarding how it interacts with the player character, the Warrior of Light.

The Issues: Metatexual - No, I'm Not Mad

The DRK 30-50 questline seems to be attempting to draw upon some resentment and anger within the player - resentment towards the game, towards the quests it has asked of you. This I found confusing in the first, and all the more frustrating as the quests continued, and you were forced to agree with Fray, forced to engage in this resentment and hatred. This, in hindsight, is deeply amusing and rather ironic - the questline most meant to address frustration within the player base, causing deep amounts of frustration!

This does, of course, beg the question - what frustrations is it attempting to draw upon?

At first, I had no real answers to this. After all, nothing in this game had caused me all that much frustration - if it had, I would have simply quit before reaching this point. However, discussion with others enlightened me - people found the sidequests frustrating. Collecting flowers, defeating enemies, being asked to do these with no real seeming purpose behind it. These are, apparently, often regarded as chores, tasks one simply must do.

This baffled me. After all, we are playing the "doing tasks game". Why would you complain about doing tasks, in the doing tasks game? Is this not what you signed up for? Apparently, for many, the answer is no. No, they view these quests as chores they must do, in order to engage with more of the narrative. This is honestly wild to me - after all, if it is just the narrative you are after, why not simply watch a let's play, or a stream? Or simply read the story?? Why spend so much free time doing something you hate, when you could do something you enjoy?

The other frustration people seem to often express is with the Titan questline. For those unfamiliar - or who have simply purged it from their mind - before you are able to fight Titan, you have to do a series of quests for the Company of Heroes. They are the only other people who have ever faced Titan and lived, and have no desire to send an adventurer they don't know to their doom. Y'shtola complains of these pointless tasks - something I have been informed echoed the views of many of the players - but I never truly understood the levels of frustration people express?

The first quest was fine, though nothing memorable. The same is true of the second, though it did begin to tickle at frustrations. However, upon being assigned a third, seemingly pointless, quest, it became clear. This was simply this game's version of the Karate Kid "Wax on, wax off" part. A series of seemingly pointless activities, all ultimately designed to test and train you, and ensure you are ready to face Titan. Indeed, the game confirms this! This makes sense, from a narrative perspective. These heroes, who were among the strongest of their time, and at their peak at the time of the fight, barely survived. Why would they be willing to send an untested adventurer to face Titan, with nothing but assurances that you're able to do it?

Additionally, this series of quests both introduces you to the former members of the company, and to the perils of facing Titan - it escalates the stakes, by showing you what happened the last time someone dared to face this primal. By showing you this, it serves to raise the stakes higher and higher - why would someone be frustrated by this, when it only serves to hype up the upcoming fight all the more?

Of course, this was explained to me as well - apparently, people regarded these quests as pointless filler, wasting their time whilst Titan was a threat. A notion I cannot agree with, but a perspective I can see. Indeed, the game even acknowledges it, with Y'shtola's insistance that you are wasting precious time.

So, with this lack of frustration established, where does this leave us with the DRK 30-50 questline, from a metatexual perspective? Well, it leaves us with the game trying to reach for resentment that isn't there - and, upon not finding anything, forcing it to exist there instead. It removes agency from you as the player, it forces you to agree with Fray. You're given dialogue options, you're given choices, but both are naught but agreement. You're given a false choice, forced to agree, forced to go along with this resentment you never felt.

It leads to it feeling forced and contrived, drawing upon resentments that never existed, bitterness that isn't there. It feels like the story has suddenly taken a turn for no purpose other than to simply engage in what can only be described as being edgy. It asks the player, aren't you tired of being nice? Aren't you tired of these weaklings bothering you with their problems?

Of course not. I signed up for exactly this. Once again, this is the doing fetch quests and killing monsters game. Why are you mad about doing these quests, in this game?

Indeed, it does bear mentioning, that this makes the Moogle section deeply entertaining. The questline spends all of this first half addressing this apparent frustration people have with doing pointless gathering and monster killing quests, and then, what does it have you do, at the height of it's narrative tension? Why, pointless gathering and monster killing quests, of course! It does entertain to no end that this apparent best quest holds such a contradiction within itself - I'd like to believe that the writers recognised this as well, but I find myself doubtful. Alas.

The Issues: Textual - Why Did You Join?

So, we have discussed the metatexual issues, but what of the in universe ones? What of the issues with the story itself?

Well, for this, let's look at the things that Fray presents your frustrations with. These 'weaklings', demanding your time with their menial tasks, tasks others should be sorting. However, as we've already addressed, these aren't isssues caused by the people in need! They're structural failings, caused by lack of government organisation - explicitly in the case of the merchant, and implicitly in the case of Little Ala Mhigo. Indeed, the story has already covered how Little Ala Mhigo is full of suffering, abandoned and failed by Ul'Dah, and deeply wary of strangers, given how many have brought them harm.

Why would our Warrior of Light come to resent these people for their struggles? Why would we hate them for being weak?

The answers I have recieved to this are two fold. The first, and most common one, is that they feel entitled to your time, when you have more important matters to attend. Indeed, you are the great primal slayer, the warrior of light, a force beyond any other. You've faced the Ultima Weapon and an Ascian, and have survived both. Why do they bother you with their little problems?

To this, I find, the retort incredibly simple. For one - what more important matter do you have to attend? If it is the main story, are you not neglecting it already, to perform these acts with Fray? And, for a second, if you come to resent them for asking these things of you - why did you become an adventurer? Was it for fame? Fortune? Simple wanderlust? Did you not sign up to perform such tasks, to help those in need? Indeed, is your name not known throughout the land? Are your coffers not richer than that of the greatest king? Have you not gotten to journey to distant lands, seen corners of the realm that you otherwise never would have?

Why did you become an adventurer? Was it not to help people with matters such as this?

The second answer I hear often is that it is that these people feel entitled to your time. That they feel entitled to demand your help, demand your strength. That, even if you are happy to help, doesn't it become tiring, to help so often?

To this, I find a different answer. First and foremost, you are able to refuse. You're able to ignore quests, you're able to walk away - hell, you're able to simply focus on doing the main story and dungeons if you so wish, and never engage in any of the side content! Secondly, to the notion that it becomes tiring - the Warrior of Light is one of the strongest forces to ever exist upon this world. They were able to face an Ascian and not just survive, but defeat them, banish them from this mortal realm (for a time). These mere monsters that terrorise others are child's play for them. The game even acknowledges such, with Fray making note that such pathetic monsters offer no challenge!

So why, then, would the Warrior of Light find frustration with this? The Warrior of Light, who for so long, has been happy to help others? Where would this resentment towards the people come from - people who are hurting? Who are suffering?? People who are just doing their best to survive? People for whom defeating these monsters is a herculean task, where facing them might demand a squadron of guards, and yet you dispatch them with the ease of kicking a football back to some playing children?

I find issue with this resentment because I find no resentment - not towards these people who are hurting, these people who are suffering, just as you are. These people who you fight to save.

No, if the resentment is anywhere, it is towards the governments. Towards Merlwyb, for not managing the yellow jackets better and ensuring that merchants weren't being robbed. Towards the syndicate, who would let the refugees of Little Ala Mhigo suffer so that they might have another coin within their coffer. The resentment is not towards the individual, but towards the systems that mistreat them - just as those systems mistreat you.

The Redeeming Part - Sucker For The Classics

Of course, I'd be remiss to discuss the DRK 30-50 questline without mentioning the ending. For all of my issues with this storyline, the ending unambigiously rocks. Facing off against your inner darkness, against this resentment that has built up, in a "battle inside the mind" esque moment? Especially with your friends coming out to support you and back you up? I'm a sucker for that kind of thing, and this fight is no exception. Despite all my issues, this ending absolutely rocks - and is honestly one of the only parts, if not the only part, of the 30-50 storyline I found enjoyable. I don't have much commentary to put here about this, it's just a really, really cool scene. If you didn't see the twist coming, I'm sure it is an incredible reveal - I predicted it shortly after you were told the merchant had had enough, but it's still a delight to experience. A shame about the rest.

A Deeply American Story

Throughout this whole questline, something had bothered me. Something squirmed in the back of my brain, something about it that just felt off. It wasn't until I had almost finished the entire questline that it clicked - the whole thing was deeply American in it's execution. From the rage it tried to draw out to the place the anger was directed, it all felt incredibly American.

The most obvious example I can give is Fray's mockery of the people you help for being weak, and his questioning of why you help them. The implication here is, of course, that they should simply solve these problems by themselves. That they should simply 'Pull themselves up by their bootstraps', simply fix it themselves. Blaming the systematic failings of the whole matter upon the individual, and placing the blame entirely upon them… It is an incredibly American narrative.

Nigh every issue you are faced with over the course of the level 30-50 questline, from the temple knights attacking a girl, to the refugee at Little Ala Mhigo, to the merchant who had his goods stolen, all of these are the result of systematic failings. The temple knights are able to get away with their crimes because the Holy See allows it, provided they brand someone involved a heratic. The refugees have been abandoned by Ul'Dah. The merchant has been failed by the Yellow Jackets. Every single one is the victim of a systemic failing, and yet Fray cares naught for that - only that they are weak, and you are strong.

This is, perhaps, the greatest failing of the Dark Knight questline, to me. It promises a story of justice, of being willing to do what others won't, of crossing lines and being willing to sacrifice to save the weak… And then mocks them for that same weakness. It promises Noblesse Oblige, and instead delivers Might Makes Right.

A Solid B At Best

So, where does this leave us? The Dark Knight questline is far from the worst thing that has been put to ink - even within this game - but I feel it hardly deserves it's title as (One of) The Greatest Job Quests. It is riddled with flaws, and whilst there is the bones of an incredible story in there, the story at current simply falls short of what it could be.

If you're looking for a storyline about doing justice, and saving people, without being a hero? Do the rogue's guild questline. It covers the idea of doing good without being a hero, it has the found family, and it uses levity well, rather than having it undercut the narrative tension. It even features the guild leader telling a kid "Be good, listen to what your mother says, and you'll never have to see us."

Dark Knight ultimately feels like a promise that failed to be delivered. What is present is decent - especially in the latter half, but I cannot in good faith say that it is anything above a B. The first half is a slog, and both halves have far too many structural issues.

Thank you for taking the time to read through all of this, dear reader. If you have any feedback or critique, I only ask that you are polite, and do take care not to spoil anything. I am still in Heavensward, and would love to experience more of the game as blind as possible.

If you're interested in my thought on any other job or guild questline, please do let me know! I'd love to write up my thoughts on it!

[grapefives]

LET ME BE HONEST | HC

luffy x gn!reader

post time-skip (fishman island) + flight luff + light angst + realization of feelings + oblivious luffy

A/N : light fluff cus idk how to write fluff. lowkey this is probs off character but wtvr

the day his crew disappeared from sight, one after another, was one of the worst days of luffy’s life

tragedy after tragedy, he kept feeling on edge and absolutely useless. and after ace’s death? he didn’t know how to live anymore

his crew was everything he had left now. and while reminiscing that and acknowledging how he has to keep going, how his nakama are dear to him, deep down, the strong urge to see you first ignited

from time to time, he’d visualize your smile, your laugh. he’d remember how you’d joke around with sanji, straying away from an initial memory of how good sanji’s food is. that craving for sanji’s menu straying to a craving of you.

whatever initial thought he had started with on his moments of thinking to himself, they’d stray to you.

as he travels back to sabaody, he wonders. when did these feelings surge?

was it because of how close you to had become during the first few moments in sabaody, and then being ripped away from his grasp to disappear into thin air, screaming for luffy, that made him think of you the most?

the way you were the last to escape his efforts pf saving?

no, it couldn’t be that. he’d always had an eye out for you. he realizes this when he finally sees the others on the new ship, how his eyes dart from one face to another, bright and joyful, but grow more when they land on you.

it’s an afterthought, his feelings, after that. he stands firm with the belief of suppressing them. not wanting something to give him a minor setback like these last few times.

if he loves you, and you two hit it off, he wouldn’t stand losing you. not again, not when, hypothetically, you two were now one.

it’s dumb, probably, but…

“luffy, have you eaten?” you ask gently, but there’s still a firmness to your voice, as you pull him away from the bubble’s wall.

“y/n i’m trying to catch fish for a reason,” he says playfully but to his surprise it comes out cold and harsh.

you give him a bizarre look, and drift your attention to what zoro says instead, and luffy almost complies to poking holes in the bubble, to which usopp and chopper hit them for.

to their dismay, sanji enters a frenzy drop so it diverts everyone’s attention to the food luffy brought and decided to share.

one thing luffy seems to forget to acknowledge is how impulsive he is.

he grabs enough food for himself sure, stuffing his face full as everyone listens to franky, but he eventually notices how you hand him meat once he’s done with the previous one.

when your hands finally touch, he blinks at you, and your small, soft smile makes his heart leap to his throat.

“gimme that,” he says as he yanks the meat from your hand and scarfs it down.

your laugh rings in his ears.

“there’s plenty more, captain.” you say, and he feels himself blush at the attention you give him.

time goes on and as they (him, sanji and zoro) return from their side quest (taming the octopus) you voice out your worries but still praise them for taming such a creature

for some reason, when luffy tries to ignore something, it bugs him even more.

and recently, he’s become hyper aware of your existence.

when the bubble pops in their escape from the fishman pirates, he’s aware of how close you were to him when the current dragged everyone

yet, when he wakes up, his immediate reaction was to question his surroundings and reach out to you

mildly upset at the separation, he ignores it and goes on with the journey. eventually, he finds you again, with brook.

“hatty! how about we go for a meal? i believe you mentioned something that i believe my captain would love,” you say as you walk away from brook being bombarded with mermaids.

“i was getting to that,” pappagu grins, “what do y’all say to some sea-monster meat?”

“YOU HAVE MEAAAT!?” luffy is delighted, to say the least.

and his feelings for you are an afterthought he desperately tries to suppress. this sudden raging desire to have you close, to keep you safe enough is driving him insane.

don’t get him wrong, he knows you’re strong, he knows you can fend for yourself, but this fear of losing you like he had two years ago, without knowing (only hoping and trusting) your situation gives him serious nerves.

but he’s your captain, he has to worry for you. every now and then. sometimes.

but man, seeing you light up at his jokes, and seeing you safe and sound with the others makes him feel so good.

and knowing you’d follow him through and through just makes him feel a certain way.

“LUFFY, YOU SHUT UP!! I’M DECIDING WHERE WE GO FROM NOW ON!!” nami screams.

“HELL NO! I’M THE CAPTAIN!!” luffy barks.

with a laugh, you say “he’s the captain.”

“Y/N WHO’s SIDE ARE YOU ON!” usopp grunts.

and as they go up to the surface once more, exited for a new adventure and getting closer to his dream, he reminisces once more.

he has his nakama, all that’s left for him.

but…

“y/n,” he calls for you unconsciously as you walk by.

you pause, giving him your undivided attention.

“yea?”

“are you ready?”

“for the new world?”

he nods.

you smile, so bright. “nope, but i’ll follow you,” you me eyes are warm and your aura is gentle, “through and through.”

but luffy… as he stares at you, feels his feelings surge with more force.

he can be a little more selfish. he could take advantage of what the world has put in his hands.

“good,” he says with a smile, “cus i need you.”

“i’m at your service-“

“more than a nakama.”

you blink, surprised and taken aback. “m-more?” you furrow your brows, heat threatening to reach your cheeks.

“more.” he says softly. so soft you couldn’t believe this was luffy, your loud and impulsive captain.

but… this was also impulsive, you can tell when his face freezes.

“are you sure?” you ask, your heart hammering.

“when am i not sure of something?”

you stare at him before cracking a smile, “ah.”

“it was driving me crazy.” he pauses, then looks to the side, puckering his lips shyly, “you.. you were driving me insane.”

“didn’t seem like it,” you tease. it was true but you knew deep down there was no chance, or so you believed. after all, he’s your… “captain.”

luffy blushes, “i didn’t know… what.. or … how.”

“i’m glad you’re honest,” you smile, “luffy.”

and his ears ring, eyes wide and amazed. you’ve only called him captain.

“i’ll work hard,” he says.

you burst into laughter, “luffy,” you say as you put a hand on his arm, close enough to see his red ears. “go with the flow. we’ll be fine.”

“yeah,” he smiles a bit, darting between your lips and your eyes.

and luffy is impulsive. but above all, he thinks he’ll add in love to the list as well.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

hi! love love love all of your haikaveh analyses! they're so wonderfully done and itch my brain so right. i was wondering if you had any thoughts on the recent quest featuring them ('an odd textual mystery')? hope you have a wonderful day!

hiya! firstly, thank you so much for your ask! i'm so glad you enjoy my haikaveh analyses!?? they truly live in our heads <333 secondly i am so sorry this reply is coming late!! i wasn't able to play during the first half of the event, and then i've had technical difficulties, so i've only recently finished the quest! that being said, here is part one of two of my thoughts!

firstly, i love how this event feels like a reference to kaveh’s hangout, in which alhaitham says that kaveh’s annotations, according to the ex grand conservator, are too long and hard to read, and that as a student, kaveh had the habit of scribbling in all sorts of books, which won him the nickname “the urchin of Kshahrewar” ???

we're starting off strong with kaveh canonically hiding behind a ladder out of sheer embarrassment after trying to find the book on which he inadvertently founded a conspiracy. things will just never go his way huh :(

i thought it was interesting (and very deliberate) that when we go to where we would find kaveh, it's The House, and when the traveller and paimon believe they've heard kaveh-

it's this guy... homosexual jumpscare next time.... and then he says this phrase (before leaving in his typical manner, which parallels his 'see ya' in his character quest, plsss he's so !?!?!?)

after waiting again, the traveller and paimon believe theyve heard kaveh, and this time it IS kaveh... you mean they couldnt be told apart...?? really leaning into alhaitham and kaveh being innately bound by the mirror motif i think.!!

paimon then impersonates alhaitham, to which kaveh recognises, saying that paimon doesn't sound herself - which could parallel how the kaveh comments that the traveller sounds like alhaitham in one dialogue option within his hangout, a cute detail <3

also, kaveh clinging onto the narrative that no one knows he lives with alhaitham, and then listing a scroll of names, being all of his and alhaitham's close friends... ironically very intimate

also it being confirmed that kaveh has low stamina, i didn't know i needed this until i was given it

kaveh drunkenly circling a spelling error in permanent ink, thinking nothing about it but that the book is terrible, returning it, and then creating a city-wide mystery, believing it to have happened AFTER he returned the book, and frantically trying to piece together what happened is so kaveh coded, ofc it WOULD happen to him

tighnari checking the book out when kaveh complained about it him because he thought it sounded FUNNY!! i love hibm..,m,,,

also kaveh using red ink and alhaitham using green ink... oh so the contrasting outfits aren't enough, you're also canonically using complementary colours... oh so.. huh...

tighnari immediately clocking that alhaitham joined in by adding a circle, calling it a 'game', so he knows that alhaitham is having fun doing this...? dare i say... f-flirting,,,

tighnari saying flirting.!! HE DESERVEDLY CALLEDHAIKAVEH OUT!!! they are too much in their intricate (homoerotic) rituals.

tighnari using a leaf in the forest metaphor... very interesting

cutting to cyno and sethos, cyno being bitter that sethos makes excuses to not play TCG, referencing their voice lines about the other, this is such a nice detail

absolutely no thoughts here just pure homoerotic brainrot of knowing what style of ink and the penmanship of your life partner, along with an unnecessary specific memory of the two taking breaks from their schedules to spend time together in their secret spot in the tree in cyno's second story quest... ive not had one coherent thought since this, the writing for cynonari is so so great and lovely and everything, they deserve the best

"back to the book" BRO GOT DISTRACTED!!! FR THERE WAS NO NEED TO TELL THAT STORY ABOUT HIM WATCHING TIGHNARI DO HIS HOMEWORK IN THEIR SECRET PLACE HELPPPPPP

also, cyno wanting to solve the mystery of the book for tighnari's sake and protection. oh. (if this weren't haikaveh's fault/event then cynonari would own it... tighnari, i, too, am so tired of them.)

and cyno canonically calling sethos bro!! another reason as to why its a crime this mini quest wasn't VOICED????

this is part one! part two is here and focusses on the final scene with alhaitham and kaveh, my bane...

[aha-chuu]

Alhaitham and Kaveh's dynamic is interesting, because I've seen a lot of people say either "oh my god Kaveh is so mean" or "oh my god Alhaitham treats Kaveh terribly". But, quite importantly imo, in this quest Paimon remarks that she "doesn't know which one of them is more problematic".

I think when considering their relationship you need to look at intention. Do Hoyo want to villainise one of their popular husnandoes as a toxic asshole? No. Even the "villain" playable characters like Childe and Wanderer are nice/funny on occasion. Kaveh and Alhaitham's interactions are intended to be humorous, to make you gasp and say "oh wow I can't believe he just said that!".

Like, during the most recent story quest, for example. Kaveh accusing Alhaitham of having no empathy when he's clearly pretty emotionally stunted and decently moral is mean. But saying "At least I'd be a fungus with empathy!" Undercuts that - it's clear neither Alhaitham nor the player are suppose to take those words seriously.

Alhaitham dismissing Kaveh's field of work with "you work yourself to death just for a smile" is so belittling, but it's a retort to Kaveh saying his scribe job is at "rock bottom" in the Akademiya. Alhaitham isn't lashing out or trying to demean Kaveh in front of others (this interaction happens after the player has "left"); he's just continuing their verbal sparring match. I think people take this jab so seriously because it can be seen as a jab at a lot of people working out of passion, but in the context of the dialogue we're not supposed to regard it so deeply.

It's also fairly clear that nobody in game takes them seriously either. Tighnari says Kaveh is "as pent up as an anemo slime" in his Alhaitham voiceline - another funny quip - and Collei details how hard it was to suppress her laughter when Kaveh was talking about Alhaitham. Nobody thinks they're genuinely bad for one another, or that getting them separated is all that crucial.

Even the interactions in this story quest are just so silly and domestic: Kaveh can't get the painting straight, Alhaitham buys ugly furniture, they're arguing about rent and drink tabs, Kaveh is doing an unfair amount of housework and Alhaitham fucks off without entertaining his own guests. it's funny, or at least it is clearly intended to be.

I've heard that in the other dubs the VAs tones are different and it makes the lightheartedness clearer. Personally I've thought since their first interaction in the AQ that Alhaitham is having fun during their quarrels, and Kaveh is just melodramatic enough to act traumatised even if he isn't truly offended.

Then when it comes to whether their dynamic is supposed to be read platonically or romantically... Well Hoyo won't do anything canon, but it's hard to argue that there is no intentionality in how their relationship is portrayed. What other character(s) has an idle animation directly referencing their relationship with another character? How many other voicelines explicitly reference two characters as a pair? Nahida's Kaveh voiceline, Collei's, Tighnari's - I'm sure there are more. "Roommates" "senior & junior" "academic rivals" -> certainly there's a case to be made that they're just very close, but Kaveh and Alhaitham getting fifteen minutes of epilogue interaction in two different quests (where none of the content is related to either quest) says something. Fanservice, quite possibly.

Also Kaveh's line "We used to be friends, but not anymore"; I've seen plenty of people interpret this as "oh we're not friends, we're dating*". I think this is fun in fanon, but on a canon level it's basically a promise by Hoyo to fix (or explain) their current dynamic. Hoyo, for all their many faults, are detail orientated enough to follow up on such a line. Perhaps it will just be in Kaveh's voicelines/character stories, but I anticipate a future event or Kaveh hangout in relation to their bond. Nothing explicit, but more exploration. It's fairly clear Alhaitham and Kaveh are popular enough characters to warrant it.

All this to say: I have lots of thoughts. I have seen people call them toxic and (while idm the drama of that in fanon shipping) that isn't really the intended case in canon. Or, at the very least, the intention is not to to take their squabbling so seriously.

[resident-problem]

Maybe spirits are the strongest emotion/ideal you exemplified or needed during your life? Andrastians believe that souls cross through the Fade when you die and that you can't come back, so maybe they're partially right in that you become a spirit, so utterly changed that you are no longer recognizable (I can't remember as well if there's a concept of being washed in the waters of the Fade, similar to Lethe, but that'd work too)? I re-played Cole's quest recently and it got me thinking that it was possibly part of what happened when the "real" Cole died.

It seems as well, that during a lot of characters journeys into the Fade they are being tested and finding out who they truly are and what they exemplify. Like in Origins for example, where (in my opinion, and from what I've played) you seem to portray hope even in the darkest hours, Cole becoming Compassion to ensure no one else was left without it, there's also something here about Solas being exemplified by a Pride demon as well, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe that's just how things were for the elven people before the Veil? Where the Spirit and the person weren't seperate, but were one being?

It would also stand to reason that demons are those who either can't find peace, are corrupted spirits, or were already corrupt when they died. Maybe it was a case of demons never existing until a certain event happened and then it spread like a disease. Be it the creation of the Veil, something to do with the Void, or something else entirely, but something possibly provoked a shift in the spirits.

**EDIT** Thank you to @iceta for reminding me that Down Among the Dead Men exists!! I re-read it, and I have some thoughts.

There seem to be roughly two categories of this phenomenon: One is that you're truly dead like Karn and Audric and it's your corpse that's possessed, and the other is right before you die, the spirit inhabits your body. Some tentative examples would be Wynne, Anders (although I haven't played the DLC, so this is just what I read on his wiki page), Cole, and these are out there, but I'd also categorise Lucanis — from what I've seen in the QnA with the devs, specifically the line where someone decided to make the "Demon" part of the Demon of Vyrantium more permanent — and Solas, but that's hinged on my ancient elf theory from earlier. Could also make an argument about the Evanuris being the first demons (something about their useage of power being so against a spirit's nature that it corrupted them), but I don't have enough evidence to prove it either way.

[recycledraccoon]

I think my thoughts on the penultimate episode can be summoned up as disappointment over a potential we didn't get to see, and why that's ok. (This got long, 1.4k oops lol)

Am I a fan of The Rat Grinders? ABSOLUTELY. I think I started liking them even more when they were full-on confirmed villains. As fan's of the edited show, watching with a week between each episode to theorize and think, I loved seeing and theorizing over these 6 fucked up kids. We know Kipperlily prior to the second half of sophomore year, while she obviously still had her anger and jealousy over TBK's it wasn't ENTIRELY unjustified and completely out of control (although some aspects were utterly and absolutely unfounded and ridiculous). Jawbones file mentions her language being "I think Aguefort likes them more", "The school takes it easy on them", and "Half of them don't even go to classes." All of these are true things people in this world would notice. It's not until AFTER their Mountain of Chaos chaperoned trip, at the end of the year, that KLCK switches to "I hate them." The Bad Kids further briefly discuss if Jace would have asked Jawbone/looked for "students with rage disorders." I think specifically mention it being a disorder is important. Acknowledging its there, KLCK WAS trying to get help for an issue she had. They didn't talk to Jawbone about it, but did decide Jace must have given he went on that quest with TRG's. They further briefly talk about students getting randomly mad, and yes they specifically joked about Fabian shitting in class, but WE also remember the Soil club student getting so mad after having gotten that tainted soil. With the 30 Riz rolled, Jawbone's file ALSO specifically talks about Kipperlily loving her adventuring party. We know things weren't perfect, its obvious from when talking about their name change, but its still there and canon. Kipperlily loved her adventuring party. This is all just Kipperlily, mostly with our information from the first part of ep.16. It is not touching on the rest of the members, especially Ruben and his dreamscape we saw, or of his distinct 180 musical tastes POST Sophomore Year Spring Break. The implications of something happening to them during that time is pretty evident and acknowledged. So we're fans, watching a show, spending so much time thinking about not only our infamous protagonists, but also our villains. Many of us adults, getting older, thinking on the tragedy befalling kids and feeling empathy. So yeah. It's a disappointment over an unseen potential. Specifically tho? Its the potential we could have gotten on The Rat Grinder's thoughts and motivations that could have been revealed through dialogue. Dialogue that we got very little of in what could be considered a significant exchange of dialogue and not bits. I always have high narrative expectations from this show, due to its long standing history of SETTING those standards each and every season. This one episode just fell short emotionally while watching, comparatively.

AND THAT'S OK AND ABSOLUTELY NOT THE BAD KIDS/INTREPID HEROES FAULT

On the narrative side of things, The Bad Kids have had an incredibly stressful past 3 years. From day one, they have been involved in life or death stakes situations. It's always been do or die, and they've died, sometimes more than once. They've lost people and faced traumas that go often unaddressed. TBK's ENTIRE highschool experiences have been a revolving door of violence and unhinged situations. They've also always kinda been assholes, insular and more than a little mean especially to those pegged as enemies. We know them, know they have good hearts and intentions, and love and side with them constantly throughout because The Bad Kid's are our heroes. They are still teenage assholes sometimes, but that is something we love and forgive them for. The thing about this recent battle is that they are very used to the situation they are in by now. TBK's have to prioritize, move fast and hard, and get a job done so countless people don't die while something evil rises in their world. Emotions have been high for them all season, rage especially which is absolutely unsurprising on multiple fronts, and it's absolutely showing in what few dialogue exchanges we have. The Bad Kid's entered that gym for the singular purpose of stopping the situation, saving lives, and making sure something evil didn't arise to power in their fucked up world. Nothing new. They hid, already knowing where the final confrontation was going to be FORCED to happen in due to the nature of the ritual, and prepped. On point and smart of them. Then they entered the battlefield, very quickly getting to business. They know their skills, their friends and how to work together as a devastatingly effective team making heavy hits and masterfully controlling a battlefield despite the chaos. This is what The Bad Kid's Do. They got Ivy and Oisin out of combat as fast as possible, Oisin didn't even get a turn. They took out a high-damage long range attacker and the enemy wizard. They know how powerful and important Adaine is on the field, and they knew Oisin would have been the same. They crippled the enemy with the slow spell, effectively taking Mary Ann out of the running until it gets dispelled later on. Fig saw Ruben's high damage level 9 spell and dropped her ploy to get him out of combat as soon as she could. It was too dangerous to have him up, and while the hell bit was uncomfortable in the moment, it is absolutely on brand. This is what they have to do, if they want to stop Porter, who is our real main big-bad. Remove as many obstacles from the battle so more of them can focus on the fight that really matters.

This combat wasn't ever gonna go any other way, unless the dice gods decided otherwise.

This is what The Bad Kid's Do. In regards to the IH's, it is VERY important to acknowledge that while I've mentioned having high narrative expectations, this is still primarily an improve comedy show around a group of real people's DnD game. It's also a show they have a tight filming schedule for, with back to back days and long hours which we KNOW from the talk-backs leave them very tired. Like any tv show they also have a limit on how many episodes per season they can even produce. I think it was a real and genuine benefit to Sophomore year that they were doing it live, because it gave more time between sessions for the IH's to mull over information and whats been happening in-game. This is also a very well developed campaign world they haven't played in several years, which I certainly know would effect me in how I played. We still have one more episode, the Finale, and so much always happens there. I have incredible faith in Brennan as a DM and storyteller, for all that his players have a huge say in how any story he tells unfolds. There is a VERY real chance that what happens in the finale completely changes my mind on episode 19, and I will go back to rewatch with absolute glee because I know of the coming emotional catharsis in relation to The Rat Grinders. There is also a very real chance we don't get that in the way we want it, but that will be ok too. I will still love this season, rewatch it and laugh and have fun. The best part of having a fandom, is watching us take canon apart to fuel endless au's, fix-it's, character studies, ect. Taking crumbs and going wild with it is par the course, especially when something in a show has left us wanting in the moment of watching it. I think more than anything, I would be and am more upset from infighting and genuine anger directed to each other and especially towards our Intrepid Heroes. It is not wrong to be upset with an episode of a show, but it is to take those feelings out on others, be in in defense from Rat Grinder's fans or justification from Rat Grinder haters. So yes! I was disappointed with this particular episode emotionally. I still think it was funny, I think the combat was brilliant and fun to watch. I still love this show and this cast, and could never dream of being mad at them for how they played a game, and for the fun they were finding within the act of playing it as the well-known unhinged improv comedians we know and love.

I'm excited for next week, buuut I am absolutely consuming fan-content to help deal with my emotions, both the highs and lows.