#my own fic

[thecousinsdangereux]

i just recently discovered your soulmate au and i loves it so much. so incredibly intriguing and well written and damn is it hot 🔥 thanks so much for sharing with us. in your mind, does it have a happy ending for them?

also wanted to ask if you'll be checking in to see the big warrior nun announcement coming tomorrow?

Ahhhh thank you! This ask is kind of tragic now given how everything with Warrior Nun ended up going, but I thought I'd use it as a way to share my ideas for the rest of a beggar in the morning, if anyone is interested in learning how it was going to go. Long story short, it was going to have a happy ending. :)

Here's a full outline for what I had in mind for the second half of the fic. Under the cut because it's very detailed in the parts that I'd started writing. Also in case anyone cares about spoilers? At the moment, I don't plan on finishing this fic, but I do plan on returning to writing in general, so guess there's a non-zero chance that I could come back to it. Stranger things have happened.

Beatrice keeps looking for the recipient of the Letter she's been trying to deliver and starts taking trips out into the countryside. She takes Ava's advice and takes to enjoying the journey - stopping into small cafes for lunch rather than eating in the car, taking the long way when it means she can enjoy a new view, etc.

During one of these side quests, she's told about a man who lives way off in the middle of nowhere who has the last name of Reis (the last name of the Letter recipient: Lara Reis), and she tracks him down. He had a sister who had a child with someone who was not her Match. I wanted to go more into what this looks like (and how the church is still anti-abortion in this world, because they think this could potentially ruin a future match, cue eye-roll) but in this case, the woman was basically run out of town. The man directs Beatrice to an orphanage where the child was raised.

This trail eventually goes cold because the orphanage has no records of the girl. They only know she left when she became of age.

The end of chapter six is basically Beatrice being frustrated and taking some 'advice' from Lilith to find someone to fuck hfkjshlk so she goes to the bar and ohhh nooo Ava is working that night, filling in for someone. Ava gets jealous, Bea does some shots, and it's basically a rehash of the lemon drop scene from the show, but hornier. Eventually, they make out, and decide to be friends with benefits.

Chapter 7 was honestly just going to be porn. lol. It's actually some of the first stuff I wrote for this fic - just a page of porn. Beggar came out of a Secret Santa fic exchange, and my friend Alex asked for lots of sex and a soulmate au. So... Chapter 7 was the payoff (part 2). Here's a few disjointed scenes, in case anyone is interested in reading some unedited very E-rated stuff.

A few months go by and all the nuns visit Beatrice for her bday and they're like huh so what's going on here and Beatrice has to pretend that it's not that serious with Ava (lol). I also wanted to do a conversation between Shannon and Beatrice where Shannon talks about the whole Mary thing and loving someone against the will of god (or at the very least, in the very gray areas).

The end of chapter seven is Ava finally talking about her past, which is that Ava doesn't remember hers. She woke up in a hospital without her memories and then spent the next decade traveling around trying to find something that felt like home.

In chapter 8, a lot of time passes, and the fucking continues. Beatrice is kind of losing it, poor girl.

I hadn't exactly decided what was going to happen next, but Ava was going to overstep in some way (or in some perceived way) and Beatrice was going to panic. Either Beatrice was going to have a brief thought about being in love, they were going to have reallyyyy soft sex, or something like that, but either way, Beatrice was going to have to admit she has deeper feelings for Ava than what's allowed allowed, so she goes back to Spain and ignores Ava's texts/calls/etc.

Eventually she realizes she owes Ava closure. She comes back and kind of explains why she's reacted the way she has. She gets more into why she joined the church and it's not for God or the Church itself, but because she does genuinely believe that love itself is holy. She admits she's falling in love with Ava, but she can't break her vows. She believes giving into her feelings would be putting herself above the whole history of love... the sanctity of the entire universe... and to be that selfish would be monstrous.

There's a callback to their early game of three questions, and how Ava still owes Beatrice one answer. Beatrice nearly asks if Ava loves her, but pulls back because she's scared of the answer. They basically break up, but Ava tells Bea to let her know when she's ready to ask her last question.

Beatrice takes it HARD. She buries herself in her work and starts visiting hospitals in various towns. She finds a Spanish doctor and he recognizes the number (or rather, the system behind the number) that is on Letter Beatrice is still trying to deliver. He tells Beatrice she's not looking for a hospital in Portugal, but rather in Spain - one in a small town in Andalusia. He mentions a patient who was in a coma, who woke up without her memories.

At this point, Beatrice obviously knows and she flies to Spain in daze. She visits the hospital, gives them the number, and asks for the name of the patient. When they'd brought the girl in, no one knew where she came from, she didn't have an ID, memories, etc. Nothing except for an old receipt from a restaurant in Portugal. ("Beatrice braces herself for what she already knows, but doesn't want to face.") The nurse at the hospital tells her they used a generic Portuguese name for the girl and it stuck: Ava Silva.

Beatrice visits Cat's Cradle because what else is she supposed to do? How is she supposed to deliver this Letter to Ava, who she's obviously in love with. She talks with Mary and we get the other side of the whole Mary/Shannon thing, and Mary is kind of like, okay, the Letters matter but they don't Matter. Beatrice asks Mary what she would do if she got a Letter (since Mary isn't a nun and could get one, but Shannon never could) and Mary basically says she would throw it away without opening it because she wouldn't want to give Shannon a reason to go self-sacrificial.

Of course, Beatrice doesn't really think this is her call to make. She's going to deliver Ava's Letter. There's this whole scene of her very dramatically and angstily getting ready for the delivery in the Official White Habit, then walking through the town she's come to associate so completely with Ava. And chapter 9 ends.

When Beatrice walks through the doors of the bar, Ava looks up, but doesn't seem surprised, even says 'oh, finally', which is pretty much the last thing that Beatrice expected, but then again, maybe it should have been the first, because Ava is always surprising her, and shouldn't she expect it by now? She asks Ava if she'd known that she was the person Beatrice had been trying to deliver to all along and Ava looks confused at this, like she hadn't considered that at all. "It's not that. I just knew my Letter would be coming because I'd already met you."

Beatrice is like, no no no. That's not how this works. It can't be me. I've been carrying this Letter with me this whole time - before I met you - and the Letters are only sent to a person when they've met their soulmate. And obviously, Beatrice is a nun and can't have a soulmate, etc. etc.

And then Ava says something like this: “Maybe every once in a while, God -- or the universe or whatever it is -- knows that it’ll be really hard to make two people meet organically, so it fudges the rules a little bit. Makes one girl a nun, makes another one hard to find, and sets up the dominos really early on."

And when Beatrice says she's being ridiculous/it's impossible, she says, "I know what’s in that letter. It’s you. I don’t need to open it to know it's you." and "Maybe it’s like some people say and god arranged it all. Fine. Then god chose me for you. Simple. He made me in this exact way, down to my hands and toes and whatever, so that I was perfect for his favorite creation in all of the universe. Because that has to be you."

And: "Or maybe it’s like what those other people say. You know - the past lives reincarnation stuff. Fine, then in our first lives we fell in love and then I found you in the second and third and the five hundredth. I found you and I picked you and I wanted you every time. Or okay, fine, maybe it’s what the the pseudo science people say. Even if those guys are right, I still know. It’s you because at the very start of the universe - at the very beginning of everything - we were the first two bits of something. The first two tiny little sparks. One of those was you and one of them was me. And even when we split off into a million trillion billion infinite pieces, the core of one was you. And the other one was me."

And: "In every religion or in any theory, the world exists so that I can find you again, and the world will do whatever it takes - bend the rules in whatever way - to make sure that at the exact right time, we would meet. And maybe it wasn’t perfect - maybe it was stupid hard for us to get to this point - maybe there was an easier way to make it happen - but I don’t care. Because it worked and I found you and I fell in love with you and I would do anything for that. So yeah. This Letter is telling me that I’m for you. That’s easy. It’s not faith. It’s just a fact.

And: "Besides, whatever’s on that paper? It’s going to be you. If it’s a picture of a butterfly, then it’s going to be you because of that time we went to the dam and one landed on your hand and you said “isn’t the world beautiful?” and that’s when I knew I loved you for the very first time. If it’s the notes to the first bar in At Last, then it’s you, because we used to play it all the time in the bar and I always thought it was fucking stupid to think you'd know like that right away, before everything, but it was the song that played in my head anyways when you walked in the bar that first night. There she is, I sort of thought, a dream that I can speak to."

"It could be any single word or phrase or letter and it would be you, because I love you and I love you so much I see you in every part of this entire world. I love you and I want to keep you with me always, and so you’re always there in my thoughts, slipping over and into everything else and I love it. It makes me love everything I see a little bit more, because it reminds me of you. It makes the world more beautiful."

"So, no offense, but I don't really give a fuck about the Letter. I already know it's going to be you. But I think you need to see it. So you know you’re not as selfish as you think you are."

And Beatrice admits that she wants to be with Ava anyways. Even if it makes her selfish. (Even if it makes her heretical.) Love is holy and what she feels for Ava is holy too, even if it's a sort of holy no one else will ever understand.

I went back and forth about whether they actually SHOULD open the Letter. lol. But I think I eventually settled on that they should, and that when Ava does open it, it's a blank page with like, 7 little dots and Beatrice is like??????????????? But Ava recognizes it instantly and it's the freckles on Beatrice's cheeks, the ones she's always tracing, and she does that again, following the ink on the paper.

Beatrice had been ready to give up her religion for Ava, so getting to keep it, maybe, suddenly is a LOT. She can't quite believe something divine would do something like this for her. But maybe she can believe that something divine would do something like this for Ava.

Later, I wanted Beatrice to have a conversation with Mother Superion. I thought it would be interesting to get into the philosophical bits of it. To debate if Ava could actually be right in her ideas about how this could be, and still fit into what they know about god/Letters/religion. I liked the idea of the conversation ending with neither of them really knowing, and Mother S being like, look girl, you'll never know for sure, but that sounds like faith to me. And Beatrice says no, no this is different, capital F Faith is for the divine. This is just trusting that Ava isn't lying about the freckles thing, or won't get tired of me, or won't find someone else. Etc etc etc. because it's panicking time for Beatrice, suddenly. And Mother Superion just raps her knuckles sort of in the most gentle way she can manage and says "That's love, Beatrice." in the way way someone might say "That's pussy, babe."

Beatrice does leave the church (though she eventually goes back to 'consulting' kind of like Mary). And when she does actually physically leave as well, Ava is waiting outside on a bench. Beatrice asks why she didn't just come inside, and she says something about being a little afraid of churches these days. She did steal god's favorite, after all.

And then they walk off into the sunset, with Beatrice being like wait a second, I thought you said this was all God's plan. And Ava shrugs and says that she would never willingly give Beatrice up, so god might come to her senses and change her mind.

I was going to end it there, but I did consider doing an epilogue as well. Early on in planning I had this idea where, years later, all the nuns regularly come over to the Silvas (because Ava does keep her 'second' name, though she does start to learn more about the Reis family, and meets her Uncle - the dude Beatrice learned about the orphanage from). And on one of these occasions, the nuns are all in white, and they're delivering Beatrice's Letter, which is addressed to Beatrice Silva. In the end, I decided against this, because I liked leaving it more open-ended, but nothing had been set in stone at this point, of course.

So yeah, that was going to be a beggar in the morning. lol. I plotted most of it out before I even started writing, because it wasn't the sort of story you could make up as you went and still tell it well. And I did want to tell the story well! There's a part of me that's sad that I wasn't able to, but I do think it was worth writing what I did. I really loved seeing people realize that Lara was Ava, even as early as chapter 5! And I also loved people coming up with theories about how Avatrice would be endgame. Some of them were honestly really good and maybe better than mine fhdskjhfd I had one person be like PLEASE let Ava's Letter be for someone else so they can metaphorically spit in god's face and honestly that was valid.

I don't know if anyone is going to bother to read this very, very long reply to an ask that doesn't actually ask for any of this, but it honestly just feels nice to put all these ideas together and 'complete' the story. Even if I've done it in the most half-assed way possible I am so sorry fhadskjlfhldsj

[thunder-point]

i want to smear you all over (with softness) by thunderpoint

Mature | 1/2 | 6k

Phum gives him a narrowed look and crosses his arms. He doesn’t look like someone who’d agree anytime soon, who’d give an inch, and Peem feels like ripping his hair out. He exhales sharply, “Fuck, fine. I… I want you to be my personal canvas for this term.” “Huh?” “I have a very important assignment due at the end of the term,” Peem explains slowly. The idea has just formed in his head, but he’s keen on it. It’s the perfect chance. “We need to paint on a different surface than what we’re used to. Something that isn’t smooth and easy. I’m choosing a person. You, I’m choosing you.”

Peem's hands always felt the need to do something. To give shape. And then they find Phum, whose heart bleeds with no one to smooth it out gently.

[vmures]

A Leaf on the Wind (2058 words) by vMures Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Past Character Death, Dead Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Mentions of Cancer, Grief/Mourning Series: Part 2 of Finding Home Summary: Some anniversaries are harder than others.

-----

I've been writing this fic in my head for the past month or so. It's taken me a bit to sit down and write it out. It takes place in the Finding Home verse but can be read on it's own. It's also deeply personal so please be kind.

[foxyyaoguai]

Stuff in my WIPs Folder

Tagged by @eghfeithrean, thank you for tagging me! This looks fun. 🤭

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you asks with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Oh, oh god, here we go!! Some of these are almost done, others are just an outline. I hope to get to all of them eventually 🤭 pls beware I am terrible at naming things and some of these titles are very literal and almost all of them will have to be changed before posting 🤣

A Brush Dipped in Fate

Catcher of Nightmares & Pursuer of Dreams

ChengXian

ChengXian dogs

Moonlight in your eyes

Tentacle seclusion

Separation Hurts

Broken Swords and Cutesy Dates

Pretty Lan Wangji

Sweet, Rejuvenating Milk (yup)

Make A Wish

Run away with me

WangXiZhui Part 2

Claiming Him

Confessing on Repeat

Heart Deviation

To Buy a Slave

Jadecest + Sizhui Omegaverse

Jadecest Influencer AU

Accidental Stoner LWJ

A Flicker in Seungho’s Soul

LWJ is Eggpreg

Lwj has an oral fixation

Ohhh damn those are a lot more than I expected 😭 🤭

Tagging (if you feel like it!): @deathbyoctopi @foreheadkissesforzewu-jun @theindianghost @erotica-hooligan @jaggededges123 @jadedbirch @valkyrieshepard @kianspo @rx-mercury @likeaflamingkiss-consume @anaxandria-writes @iamwestiec @whoretsumu @veraverorum @omegaji @ck90

[lavoixhumaine]

bathena killed one of my limbs.

yeah, my dudes, my arm died.

it’s happened before when, at some point, i sat for about eight hours straight writing a story. it happened again just last night and fuck my brain if ao3 didn’t just clock my story at 172,149 words after about 2.5 months of writing. it doesn’t feel at all real because i could have sworn i just started writing this last week.

but i am having so. much. fun.

(the arm is fine. i went to the spa and they fixed me up good.)

and this strike probably won’t end anytime soon. i need bathena in my life and if i can’t have them then i’m fic-ing the fuck outta this whole thing just to get through this drought.

i wrote one chapter and a smutty oneshot i’m holding on to because i’m not sure i should post it. it’s cackling like a demon as it sits in my drafts on ao3. i mean, it was dirty and it’s definitely going to send me straight to hell but i’m not sure i should take anyone else with me. also it might be crap so that’s also something to think about. but it was also fun to write, yeah.

no disrespect to the actors but right now, there’s zero chance that bathena fans are not stuck on the idea that bobby and athena are probably just fucking each other’s brains out during the whole hiatus in a cruise ship somewhere in the middle of the ocean because yeah she gonna fuck that poor gorgeous bastard’s brains out every single time he passes by one of those many, many drinky drink bars. she will kill him with sex before she lets him relapse just for trying to make her happy.

[helloitscandelabra]

why does hermione have to travel to the 70s like im getting bored with this marauders bit (only care abt remus), why couldnt she, idk damn, time-travel to when remus was all alone (i never read hp books except #4 & #7, vaguely in middle school tho)

[starclast]

A last memory 💔

(P.S: Just a little scene recreation from this fic of mine 👇

If you are interested, go ahead and read it. Just please take into account that is in Spanish, okay? 🙏)

[dont-reyna-my-parade]

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson Characters: Connor Stoll, Rachel Elizabeth Dare Additional Tags: Canon Rewrite, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pretend Connor has a crush on Annabeth, Post-The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson), Book 5: The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson), Developing Relationship, Percy and Annabeth talk about their feelings, Feelings Realization, Percy is emotionally mature AU, Annabeth Chase deserves some validation, Jealous Percy Jackson, Jealous Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson), percabeth Summary:

“He doesn’t like you back, Annabeth”

The words cut like a knife dipped in poison, but she couldn’t dignify this with a reaction. Just let it go, and she might’ve, if he didn’t keep digging.

“I’m sorry but its true! The whole camp knows how you feel about him, If he wanted to do something about it, he would!”

or

Percy and Annabeth are forced to confront their feelings after he overhears another's confession of feelings for her.

Takes place sometime before the war in The Last Olympian.

[foxglovevibes]

So last night, I was seemingly possessed by a fic idea that absolutely refused to let me sleep until I wrote out at least a portion of what had been ruminating within my brain 😂 I thought I might share a snippet of what spilled outta with you guys to see if you'd be interested in reading it when/if it gets up off of the planning table!

 Excerpt from chapter one of "oh i've been dazed and confused (from the day i met you-)

 

 

March 27th, 1904

 

 

 

It wasn’t often that she was willing to take the time to think of how readily she chose to do this to herself, whenever the chance arose.

How she was so inclined to let others lay their hands on her in ways she’d loathe to let them do to anybody else, whether it be fuelled by adrenaline addled rage, lurid desire that sometimes overwhelmed her to the point where she felt she’d burst . Surely she should feel a low burning shame deep in her belly, at the sight of the well meaning but distinctly unwelcome concern on the faces of her very few friends as she walked through the halls. She could feel the weight of their eyes on her almost as much as the physical evidence of her vices throbbing along her flesh. 

But now…

 

As she gazed at the woman reflected before her, the dark stare of her eyes both accusing and full of pity, Moira McLoughlin found it was hard to keep her roaming mind in check.

She tilted her head, taking in her battered form and noting every unfamiliar detail she could make out with an analytic precision. The kind she typically reserved for her crime scenes. For victims. Her eyes gleamed back at her from the glass, deep amber golden irises streaking fluorescently in the flickering light of the lavatory's oil lamps as she ran her fingertips along the bruises blooming along her flesh like macabre roses. Flushed in varying shades of purple and sickly yellow, curling out from beneath her blouse and the top of her trousers in exaggerated flourishes too bold to go unnoticed. It was a wonder she managed to hide any of them. 

Particularly when she considered just how poorly her attempts to do so generally were.

As it stood, they were currently proving to be little more than a failure to distract herself from the numbness gripping her entire being in that moment.

She'd been given news.

 

 

Of him.

 

 

For the first time in years.

 

 

Prewett had apparently spotted him looking all too comfortable, at home even, during a raid of a well known black market. One that she knew, all too well, specifically dealt in dark artifacts and other items meant to help facilitate rituals of the darkest arts. Leander knew it too if she were to judge from the barely veiled look of pity he'd kept sending her way for the rest of the day after.

The fact it had taken everything in her not to beg him for any details he could give her certainly didn't help her foul mood.

She had always had an inkling that Sebastian had fallen back into old habits after the events of their fifth year. That his thrice damned thirst for knowledge had once again drawn him to places she refused to even entertain the idea of following him to. But she had failed to comprehend just how far he had been willing to go now that Solomon, and Anne by extension, weren't around to keep him in check. 

How little, it seemed, she and Ominis had mattered to him in the end.

 

Moira worked so hard to keep him occupied, focused. To bring him back to her. Back to the easy days, where they spent their time trying to either scandalise or make Ominis laugh. To give him what he seemed to think the dark arts were giving him. To try and prove that they did the right thing by not turning him over to the authorities, by not condemning him to Azkaban for what happened to Solomon. But he repaid that effort by pulling further and further away until he was just gone. Entirely.

Until she was reading the Daily Prophet during the summer, right before their seventh year, and saw her worst fears realized laid out before her in stark black ink.

Sebastian had disappeared without a trace. A fellow resident of his in Feldcroft, who'd become his de-facto guardian after Solomon's death, reported it two weeks or so after his estimated departure. At least, that had been what she'd gleaned from the vague and decidedly ill-handled report of the incident when she'd gathered up the courage to look it over. It was clear that the aurors involved had taken it merely as an unruly boy pushing the boundaries with his new guardians, exasperated at the fact that they had to deal with it at all.

She couldn't deny that the carefully detailed and plump case file she'd later found attached to the flimsy report had left her laughing hollowly until she wept at the cruel irony of it all.

Well, there ya go! I have a couple other pieces I could post as previews but I'll just hold off until I get a general consensus of how this excerpt sounds to you guys! Please do let me know your thoughts on this lil snippet! 😁

[cynicalclassicist]

I ended up feeling much more sympathetic to GRRM while I was... wait, I'm still writing my own fic.

the issue with writing for yourself is that you will get sucked into rereading your own fic over and over and pretend it’s “editing,” but really you’re just reading because it’s exactly what you want to read. because you wrote it. for you.

[thunder-point]

First chapter of "Omega Phum breathing Alpha Peem in" is finished

This is a journey. It's my blood, sweat and tears and more is to come. I also need to make the moodboards.

(i'm a very shy being but i saw @alan-apologist 's tags about tagging so i will do my duty and tag <3)

[vmures]

4 & 11 for Hungry Like a Wolf!

4. My favorite line of dialogue from this one is:

I actually enjoy a lot of the dialogue in this one because writing Bobby is just always fun. Favorite line of dialogue is a tie between “What was I smoking when I agreed to go camping for our anniversary?” and “We are so doing that again.” because they always make me giggle a bit.

11. What did I like best about this fic?

I actually love how steamy this one is. It was my first time writing smut and I really love how it turned out in the end.

[foxyyaoguai]

TENTACLE SECLUSION 👀👀👀

Hehe, I am quite fond of this one 👀

Lan Xichen returns from a night hunt and everything seems fine at first, but then he goes into seclusion without telling anyone. He refuses to see guests and not even Wangji is allowed to come inside.

Wangji is worried, so he starts to communicate with him through writing. He reassures him that no matter what has happened to him, he would still love him. It takes a long time, but eventually, Xichen lets him inside.

Inside the Hanshi, he immediately notices that something is off - Xichen's skin has turned blue and he acts strangely. It turns out that Xichen was hit by a curse that turned him into a tentacle monster hybrid, and nothing can turn him back 🐙

Xichen is scared about Wangji's reaction, but Wangji.... welll.... he thinks his brother got even more beautiful and REALLY wants to touch the tentacles...

[theaftersundown]

the holy grail types of fanfic

[weepynymph]

Do not write fanfiction. One second you're normal and the next you're downloading a calendar from 2004 and tearing your hair out over what specific date every event in your fic happens

[grimalkinmessor]

When I tell you that I have read fanfic characterizations so OOC that they'd classify as an original character, trust me I have read THOUSANDS. But you know what I don't do? :) Tell the author of those fanfics that they might as well classify that character as an original character if they're going to write them like one. Because that's fucking rude. People don't owe you your preferred characterizations. The back button is free.