#my first impression of him ever was from the trailer and I had the same reaction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

topperscumslut · 2 years

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Big Reputation (Jay Kelso x Reader)

Summary: Slight enemies to lovers inspired by a tiktok by @/saracarstens. (Y/N) has heard about Jay’s family and reputation and is wary to give him the attention he’s craving (titled inspired by Taylor Swift’s Endgame)

Word count: 2.5k

Content/warnings: fluff (NO smut), slight enemies to lovers, very brief mentions of sex, kelso slander (again) not slander if it’s true

Edit: this was written before t90s first came out and is based more on a “fanon Jay” that i kinda came up with in my own mind after obsessing over him in the og trailers lol, so there are some things in this fic that VASTLY contradict canon!!

You had heard about Jay Kelso before. Son of the wealthy, glamorous local television personality Jackie Burkhart and dim witted police officer and notorious womanizer Michael Kelso. Point Place was a small town after all, it wasn’t hard to hear the stories of the trails of broken hearts Michael Kelso had left in his wake, including that of Jay’s mother. You knew of Jay from school and the two of you working up the street from each other, and had heard of his many past girlfriends, but had never actually met him before. Not until that Wednesday at the coffee shop.

You were working your usual after school shift at the local uptown coffee shop when he came in. Interestingly, he was by himself. No gregarious group of friends, no girl on his arm. Just Jay Kelso, sporting messy hair and a flannel, staring straight in your direction.

You rolled your eyes when you locked eyes with him, seeing his face falter slightly and his lips part as he laid eyes on you. He didn’t seem to see you as you disappeared back behind the counter, instead sitting down at a table and opening up a book. You chortled a bit, Michael Kelso’s son reading for fun? What a joke. You rolled your eyes again and wondered what girl he was hoping to impress with that thing. You never could’ve imagined it could be you.

About ten minutes went by before your manager came and sent you on your break. You sat down in the corner by the cafe window, latte in your hand, and started to take a gentle sip as a familiar figure appeared before you and sat down in front of you. Who else could it be but Jay Kelso himself.

“Uh, hey,” he mused, blushing.

“Hi.”

You tried to be polite, you had heard plenty about him in the past, but you didn’t know him. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. Maybe he wasn’t some womanizing asshole, maybe he didn’t have any sort of more-than-platonic intentions.

He looked you up and down and swallowed anxiously. “I saw you from across the cafe, and I was thinking, um…”

Of course. Just another guy just trying to get in your pants.

You flashed him a look of disinterest. “No thanks.”

Jay looked flustered at your response. Surely because he was used to getting whatever girl he wanted, you assumed, and was shocked you wouldn’t be just another pawn in his games. But you also saw what looked like genuine disappointment flash upon his handsome face as his cheeks began to heat up to a magenta hue.

“I-I’m sorry, I-“ he stuttered.

You rolled your eyes. “Not interested, Kelso.”

“No, yeah, I understand. Um, sorry for asking, I shouldn’t have- I mean, um, I’ll leave you be.”

You focused your attention back to the mug in your hand as he walked away, melancholia in his pretty brown puppy dog eyes. Sure, Jay Kelso was good looking, but he was still a Kelso. And you were far too smart to get your heart broken. Not that you were too focused on boys anyway with how much of your energy you were putting into your school and work, but if you were looking for a man, any guy in town would do over Jay.

Just about a week later, at around the same time, the bell on the front door rang as it was opened once again by the ever so familiar Jay Kelso, this time holding a Polaroid camera rather than a book. You heard him order coffee from the girl at the front counter as you stood far enough behind the counter that he couldn’t see you preparing drinks, before he sauntered back to the same table as the week before and began sipping his drink while looking through his photos.

Unlike the week before, when you were more than happy to be sent on your break as your feet were starting to hurt and you were starting to feel that mental burn out for the night, tonight you were praying to the heavens above that you wouldn’t be sent to break while Jay was there. But there was your manager, once again, telling you to go on break so that the store could stay on schedule for the night. Great. At this point Jay had already been there for about half an hour and you were starting to wonder if he was stalking you. No, you thought to yourself, it’s just a coincidence. He doesn’t even know you work here. Not that he remembers you anyway, he probably asked out dozens of girls in just that day alone. Still, you decided to spend your break in your car just to avoid him.

You grabbed your to-go cup and started to make your way to the door of the coffee shop, which you had parked right in front of, and saw a car parked next to you that hadn’t been there when you showed up. Weird, there weren’t too many customers in the store at the moment. You were about to open the front door and walk out before a stranger came out from behind you and opened it for you, ushering you out.

“M’lady,” a deep voice echoed from above you.

“Thank you,” you said before peering up to get a look at this kind stranger.

Of course, it was Jay. Lovely.

“You again,” he said with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes, though a bit more playfully this time. “I don’t date.” Not entirely the truth, but not entirely a lie either. You weren’t against dating anyone right now, but you also weren’t looking. Especially not for him.

“That’s fine! Just wanted to help a lady in need.” He smiled a toothy grin.

Ugh, he was so annoying. Did he seriously think you couldn’t open a door?

You fought back a smile as you bit your inner cheek. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

“Yeah. See ya around,” Jay said, before clearing his throat. “And if you ever change your mind, I’d love to buy you a coffee,” he winked as the two of you walked off before you both awkwardly realized you were heading in the same direction. Of course. He was the car parked right next to you. Because why wouldn’t he be, right? Just your luck.

You awkwardly waved goodbye to him as he got in his car and drove off, not admitting to the butterflies that you felt in your stomach as he smiled at you. You couldn’t stand Jay Kelso, and you weren’t going to let that change anytime soon.

Another couple weeks went by, no Jay. It was a Saturday this time, so you’d gotten off of work earlier since you hadn’t had class during the daytime and decided to walk over to the video and record store just up the street. It was a pretty cool place that you liked to go to with your friends sometimes on the weekends, and you didn’t even pay any mind to the boy at the front desk as you walked in and started sifting through piles of John Hughes movies before making your way to the small clothing section filled with hats and band tees. You picked up a distressed denim baseball cap and put it on your head before walking over to the full sized mirror and almost jumping out of your skin as you saw a figure appear behind you.

“Damn.”

You sighed. “What do you want, Jay?”

“I-I just,” he blushed, “well, that looks really good on you.”

You rolled your eyes before turning to face him. “Are you following me?”

“Well, actually, I work here, so it seems to me like you’re the one following me, doll.”

Shit. How could you forget Jay worked at this store?

He casually looked you up and down before speaking up again. “You know, you apparently know my name, but I don’t seem to have caught yours.”

“(Y/N).”

Jay smirked. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

“Shut up,” you sighed, fighting back a smile.

“You wanna buy it?” he asked.

You sighed. “See, I would, but I don’t get paid til tomorrow, so I’m kind of just window shopping for now.”

“Okay…” he said in a sing-song voice. “First purchase is on me. How does that sound?”

“Jeez. You like it on me that much?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking you up and down again and biting his lip. “Really. You look gorgeous.”

You blushed. “Thanks Jay. You don’t look too bad yourself. You win. I guess I’ll let you buy the hat.”

“Sounds great!” he exclaimed before ringing it up and walking you to the door.

“See you later, (Y/N).”

“In your dreams, Kelso,” you replied, attempting to hide your smile.

Another week or two went by and you tried your best to convince yourself to forget about Jay Kelso, but every time you saw that denim hat sitting in the corner of your bedroom, the butterflies in your stomach that he’d given you kept coming back. You sighed and made your way to the bathroom to get ready for that evening’s shift.

That was the next time you had seen Jay, and you were genuinely shocked at how cool he played it as he only so much as gave you a friendly wave from across the coffee shop while once again looking through a large stack of Polaroids. Maybe he’d finally given up, you thought. However, the next night took that hope and crushed it.

Another day, another break that you hadn’t (yet) ran into Jay Kelso. You sighed with relief before the ring of the door opening pulled you out of your thoughts. What timing, lo and behold there was Jay at the door looking devilishly handsome as ever in a Nirvana tee, ripped jeans, and dirty converse high tops with a camera strung around his neck. He made his way over to the corner of the cafe where you were once again sitting enjoying your coffee in peace.

“C’mon… it can’t be a coincidence that we keep meeting here.”

“Now I don’t believe in coincidence,” you smirked, “but I don’t mean to burst your bubble. I actually work here. You seem to keep catching me on my breaks…”

“And here I thought it was fate. Guess I’m just a lucky guy.”

“See? You hit on me every time you see me, but you know nothing about me.”

“That’s not true,” he pouted.

“Oh isn’t it?”

“No. I know this is your favorite corner in the cafe to sit down and drink your coffee, and I know that your hair looks beautiful when the sun hits it shining in through the window. I know you drive a (your car), I know you bite your cheek when I make you nervous, even though you like to pretend that I don’t. But I can tell from the way you blush. And I know that your name is (Y/N), a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. And what are you drinking right now?”

“Chai latte,” the both of you said in unison.

“That’s what I thought,” Jay smirked.

You tried to ignore the way your cheeks were heating up as you thought of a witty reply. “Epic fail, Kelso. You’re just making yourself sound like a total stalker.”

“Maybe. Or maybe I just care enough to notice all the little things about you.”

“Oh please. If you wanted anything more than to get inside my pants, maybe I’d believe you.”

His brow furrowed, goofy demeanor falling and a genuinely serious look washing over his face. “Why would you think that?”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t play dumb. I’ve heard about you before.”

“Heard about me? Or heard about my dad?”

Damn… that shut you up real quick.

“Actually, (Y/N), if you must know, I’m a virgin. And I hardly even know my father since he doesn’t seem to give a shit about me, if that makes you feel any better.”

Well now you felt like an absolute asshole.

“Shit, Jay, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, fighting back tears. “No need to be. You didn’t know. No hard feelings, right?”

You smiled at him. “Of course not. As long as you don’t hate me for being such a bitch.”

“I could never,” Jay grinned. “And you’re not a bitch. You’re a gorgeous girl, inside and out.”

You blushed and bit your cheek lightly. “Thank you, Jay.”

Another week or so went by before you stopped once again in the record shop, this time however on purpose with one boy on your mind - Jay Kelso. You tried on a couple hats again, getting his opinion every time and each time him telling you that you looked beautiful in everything. You didn’t even wear hats that often, but the store didn’t have a dressing room to try on the tee shirts, so you did what you had to do to keep seeing Jay.

This went on for a little over a month. Jay would show up and order coffee, you’d show up and try on hats, and you’d wave at each other in the hallways at school. Eventually your little visits to each others’ work became more and more frequent and your interactions less and less platonic, however without either of you officially making a move.

One Friday evening you had been trying on hats for what felt like hours, chatting and laughing with Jay the whole time as he gave you his opinions on which hats looked good on you and which to buy, which, of course, was always, all of them.

“Okay…” you sighed, biting your cheek, “I think I like this one.” You adjusted the baby pink bucket hat on your head.

Jay could tell that you were about to leave and realized it was finally his chance to make a move.

“(Y/N)…”

“Yeah?”

“I, um, don’t think I really did this right the first time… will you go out with me?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “I thought you’d never ask!” You ran your fingers through your hair, taking off the hat and handing it to him. “I don’t even hardly wear hats that much. But I agree… this one does look adorable on me.”

“It does. And for the record, I totally hate coffee.”

You couldn’t contain your laughter as he pulled you into his arms. “You’re such a dork!”

“Not as much of a dork as the girl who came into my work to try on hats for hours just to get my attention after rejecting me.”

“Oh, shut up,” you giggled, pulling him closer.

“Make me.”

You planted a quick kiss on his lips, leaving him flustered.

“So… about that date.”

“How does coffee sound?”

#that 90s show #that 90s show jay #jay kelso #jay kelso x reader #mace coronel #that 70s show #michael kelso #jackie burkhart #y/n #reader insert #x reader #fluff

1K notes · View notes

pedgito · 2 years

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Ahhh you did my breakup sex request you literally made me cry!!! I had an idea for a part 2(if you ever want to write it lol) so two months after reader starts dating a guy who can be easily her soulmate but she gets bored cuz everything is too perfect (except the sex cuz she can’t help but compares it to eddie) and somehow one night reader ends up in eddies trailer again idk something like that haha. You’re literally the best author your writing is so good, so so talented 🖤

author’s note: i mixed this with another request i got here, but this is a continuation of this request if anyone's reading this before the other part. it's not necessary but the context will help.

cw: 18+ (minors dni), fem!reader, makeup sex?, cheating (sort of? reader is over her boyfriend and he's an asshole so yeah), exhibitionism (barely, they're in private but other people are around), angst, confessions, jason is an asshole, eddie is degrading of the readers bf toward her, multiple orgasms, fights (brief description of injury), lots of smut, ect. let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 6.7k

You can’t even bring yourself to look at him, most of the time. Eddie’s done a perfect job at ignoring, pretending you don’t exist, plucking you out of his life—just like you asked, but you weren’t sure what hurt more—knowing how easily he could move on, or how badly you regretted all of it in the first place.

It didn’t matter that Eddie was struggling every day to not look your direction, hug you, just be in your presence—it was a constant, daily reminder of how badly he’d fucked up. Maybe if he was a better boyfriend, maybe if he paid attention more often and didn't throw himself into everything he loved so passionately, then you would have stayed.

It doesn’t take long for you to move on, but you thrive on codependency, being with someone, and you never expected that person to be Jason—but he just fits, or, you made him fit. You have similar interests, he’s sweet to you when he tries to be, and he always knows how to make you feel special; the sex was another story.

And it wasn’t that Eddie wasn’t sweet or caring—Eddie was all of that, but you melded with Jason on a level that Eddie couldn’t reach, at least that’s what you told yourself.

Jason was performative in a different way—Eddie loved to make a scene, grab everyone’s attention, but the affection he showed you was never meant for show. He kissed you in private, told you all the filthiest things in the world that would have you blushing in public, but those words were meant for you and no one else. He’d hold your hand when you were nervous, or rub your back when you were worried. Eddie always knew when to lean in and when to back away—with Jason, it was never genuine.

He only ever kissed you in front of his friends and constantly bolstered himself up on a pedestal when you were around, like you were just another worthless person to impress—and that’s when you realized that the only thing Jason really needed was approval. He only acted like he enjoyed the same things you did to come off as likable, he bought you expensive gifts to make you feel worthy, and he was everything that every girl could ask for, but not you.

And as horribly as you feel about it, the sex was the breaking point. He was quick and rushed and never focused on anything but himself, it was such a whiplash experience from what you had with Eddie that it left you in tears, most of the time—you’d shove Jason out of your house quickly afterwards, curl up on your bed, and weep until it hurt less. It was your own selfishness that wanted to you to be taken care of too; sex was a shared experience, and you enjoyed it, it only seemed fair that it was equal on both ends. Jason didn’t see it that way, unfortunately.

Jason accosts you in front of his friends at lunch that Friday, his arms winding around your waist as he leans over to kiss you on the cheek, flashing the trademark toothy grin at you.

“You’re coming to the party, right?” He asks, the watchful eyes of others not giving you much of a chance to weasel your way out of his grasp. “Everyone’s gonna be there.”

“I guess,” You shrug, forcing a fake smile as he lets you go just as quickly, taking a seat at the head of the lunch table, “did Lucas ever get back to you?”

“He said he’d go,” Jason taps his fork against the tray, moving the food around, “but he wants me to invite all of them—some shit about being inclusive or whatever.”

“All of Hellfire?” You ask, eyebrows pulling up in confusion. You take a glance over at the table, eyes immediately drawn toward Eddie—he’s already looking at you when you turn your head and he panics, like he’s been caught, and quickly averts his attention toward Dustin.

“They’re all fucking freaks,” Jason says snidely, “If any of them try to ruin my party, they’re dead.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” You assure him, ignoring his obvious distaste and resentment toward the idea. “I doubt they’ll even go.”

“Yeah, let’s hope so.”

Jason abandons you before lunch is over, making a weak excuse about needing to talk to the boys in private—but really, you didn’t care. But, they snatch Lucas up in the process, much to Eddie’s dismay.

So when you finally leave the lunchroom to reach your locker, fiddling with the stupid lock that never wants to open, Eddie corners you. He notices the struggle, the frustrated look on your face, tongue poking out the side of your mouth.

He pulls it from your hand without questions, putting in the code and yanking at the lock with force—it opens on the first time. Eddie doesn’t have the same motivation to act smug about, his mouth pulled into a tight line.

“Thanks,” You mumble, open the locker door to retrieve your school books—he still hasn’t left, “—did you need something?”

“Tell your boyfriend to stop spreading his stink over my table,” He says with a harsh undertone, “it makes everyone uncomfortable—especially Lucas.”

“He’s not going to listen to me,” You tell him, “he never has.”

You two had only been together a couple months, but Jason always had a mind of his own, and was always forcing you to do things you wouldn’t normally do—he had to have that control. You didn’t like fancy dinner dates or extravagant nights out, but with Jason, that’s all you got.

You just wanted movies on the couch and cheap delivery pizza, to talk for hours about books and pop culture, everything that seemed interesting to you, and you wouldn’t even mind hearing him ramble on about basketball—it was the principle of it all, Jason didn’t like to put in the effort.

Eddie always had, you were only realizing that much too late.

And you can’t help your curiosity, mind racing with thoughts.

“Are you going to the party?” You ask, slipping your locker closed, taking a small glance at Eddie.

“Don’t know yet,” He shrugs. Eddie knew when to stay away, but with Jason, he couldn’t help himself, “maybe.”

He knew you were miserable, it was written all over your face, your mood, it had altered your personality into something he didn’t even recognize.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t.” You tell him honestly—it wasn’t a warning or a threat, you were just terrified of what would unfold if he did.

Jason knew of your past with Eddie and as much as he tried not to seem bothered by it, he couldn’t grasp the idea of someone wanting to be paired up with the town freak, Eddie Munson.

“You’re not my boss.” Eddie smirks with an immense amount of smugness.

“I’m not trying to be,” You tell him softly, “I’m just—I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

And it’s a terrible idea, in fact—but it doesn’t stop Eddie from showing up to the party with Chrissy Cunningham by his side.

“Uh, Lucas,” You nudged the boy standing beside you, cup in hand, “did he tell you anything about that?”

Lucas is just as wide-eyed as the rest of the party, gawking at the two of them like animals in a cage. Chrissy is noticeably unfazed, as always, smiling bigger than ever. The cheerfulness wasn’t an act either, it was just her. The only thing different about Eddie is that he isn’t wearing his jacket, which strikes you as odd because he never leaves the house without it, it was like his security blanket.

“No, nothing—“ Lucas takes a glance at Jason, who’s just as tense as the rest of you, but his eyes are brimmed with an anger he only got around Eddie, for whatever reason that was, he never talked about it either, “—you might wanna check on him.”

Jason sees you coming before you even touch him, hand coming up in waiting to wrap around you waist, like you were an accessory. “Hey, it’s fine,” You try to soothe him, your free hand wrapping around his own waist, hoping he’ll turn his attention toward you, “maybe Chrissy didn’t want to come alone.”

“But Chrissy—why her?” Jason asks, voice laced with jealousy. You roll your eyes noticeably, it felt like a losing battle anymore—relationships just weren’t for you.

“Everyone loves Chrissy,” You tell him, his eyes glancing toward you briefly, a micro twitch of his face at those words, “I don’t think Eddie’s immune to that, as much as you want him to be.”

You watch Chrissy yank Eddie toward the kitchen, his feet struggling to keep up as they squeak against the tile floor, letting her wrap his fingers in between hers. You’ve never seen Eddie talk to Chrissy, so it was just as much of a mystery to you.

And you knew the history with Jason and Chrissy, maybe he wasn’t really over her, maybe you were just a rebound—but so was he. That’s why you don’t stop him when he hurdles toward the kitchen, the rest of his posse hot on his tail, aside from Lucas. He grabs your hand before you make the decision to follow, shaking his head in warning.

“We should stay out of it.” He warns, “You know how he gets.”

“Yeah,” You nod pointedly, “That’s exactly the problem.”

“Munson,” Jason’s voice booms over the music, the entirety of the party turning their heads in his direction, ready to witness the carnage, “funny seeing you here.”

“You invited me.” He says, which is more of an attempt to make Jason look like an idiot.

He’s successful, gaining a few snickers and badly disguised laughs with a cough.

“It wasn’t a legitimate invitation,” Jason confesses, “—and Chrissy, wow—that’s a hell of surprise, how do you two know each other?”

They both stumble over their words for a moment before Chrissy finally answers.

“I just asked him,” She settled on, “I didn’t want to come alone.”

It shouldn’t hurt Eddie as much as it did, his ego is wounded—Chrissy was cute, nice, but it was a low blow on her part, since he was the one supplying her with drugs, all while managing to keep it a secret.

“So, pity,” Jason laughs, tipping his cup in Eddie’s direction, “—look, dude, I’d save yourself the embarrassment and just leave—it’s not like anyone wants you here—“

The last part forces you to put a stop to his assault, pulling gently at his arm, not wanting to become a secondary victim to his attack. “Jason, come on—everyone’s staring,” It took you a moment to realize that even the music had died down, all eyes on the four of you collected in the kitchen, ”babe, please.”

Eddie snorts an amused laugh at that, hand coming to rest against the counter top—he wasn’t even looking at Jason anymore, his eyes directly on you. You could see how badly he wanted to say something, make some snide comment, get back for all that you’d put him through—but it’s Jason that attacks instead, albeit, at your expense.

“I see why you like her,” Jason nods toward you, “—the mouth on her, it’s something—say, is that why you came? Did you think she was gonna take you back?”

You’ve never seen Eddie mad, but his face changes on a dime, open hand now closed fist and white knuckled. He could easily take Jason out, but he didn’t want to cause a scene, not in front of you.

But, it’s the next thing out of Jason’s mouth that has him throwing that morale out of the window completely.

“Did you think you could come here and make a trade?” Jason antagonizes—you try to feel hurt, but it almost sounds like a good idea, you couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore, and maybe it had been like that for weeks, but tonight was the breaking point.

Eddie punches first, slamming Jason against the ground as his fist connects with his eyebrows—again and again, until there’s blood covering his rings and Jason’s begging for relief.

No one seems surprised—almost relieved that someone finally dealt with Jason’s shit, but it still pulls at your gut, that guilt as you stared down at him, his eyebrow split open at end, blood pouring and pooling quickly into his hand.

Lucas senses your hesitance, kneeling down at Jason’s side, “Go—get him out of here.” He begs, shoving you away and into Eddie, his fists curled tightly at his side. You yank once, twice, until he finally gives in and lets you drag him away from the majority of the party.

The only unlocked door you can find is Jason’s bedroom, which is a horrible juxtaposition to your life. But, Eddie’s covered in blood and you know there’s enough stuff to clean him up in there, so you drag him along, silently. Eddie can’t even force himself to speak.

You move diligently, locking the door to the larger bathroom, guiding him toward the edge of the counter, squatting down to find the first aid kit under the sink before slamming it against the marble surface, finally breaking Eddie from his trance.

He doesn’t say anything, but his hand extends, allowing you to grasp it. You pull gently at his rings, letting the metal clink into the sink, covered in a sticky crimson red. The impression of his own rings had cut into his knuckles at how hard the blow to Jason’s face had been, his own blood mixed with what you could only assume was Jason’s.

“That was stupid.” You say quietly, turning on the sink to let the water run over the rings, washing away as much blood as you could, guiding his hand under the freezing cold water, it’s even worse than the dull, throbbing pain in his hand.

“Do you let him talk about you like that all the time?” Eddie asks suddenly, face pulled up in frustration, jealousy.

“It’s Jason—who cares.”

“You broke up with me for that?” He pulls his hand back suddenly, annoyed with the bitter cold of the water, but also how dismissive you were being. “Was I really that horrible of a boyfriend?”

“Eddie, no,” You say honestly, guiding his hand back toward you, rubbing a small alcohol patch against the skin, his face seemingly unfazed, “—why does this even matter?”

He goes quiet again, he feels the anger, the resentment, but the last thing he wants to do is take it out on you, not when you’re on the verge of tears—you didn’t even realize amongst all the chaos, it’s only when you finally start to calm, placing the small bandages on Eddie’s knuckles that you feel it settle in.

You clear your throat loudly, shoving his hand gently back toward his chest, slamming the kit closed and returning it to its spot underneath the sink. “Look—I don’t know why you came here tonight, I told you it was a bad idea.”

You face toward the sink, fetching his rings and attempting to wrap them in a towel to dry them, but Eddie stops your movements, taking the balled up material in his hands and placing it back down. “I can look after myself,” He tells you, his undamaged hand wrapping around your bicep, the cold sting of his fingers a shock to your warm skin, feeling overwhelmed and claustrophobic, “—why won’t you look at me?”

You shake your head slightly, eyes downturned and staring at your fidgeting hands, twisting your own dainty rings against the skin.

“Look at me.” Eddie demands softly, “Please.”

He’s met with teary eyes, lips pulled tight to keep any sounds from escaping, his thumb brushes away the stray tear that slips down your cheek.

“Is he always like that?” Eddie asks, whatever anger he felt a few minutes ago forced away, if only for a moment. You needed a friend, he could be that.

You shake your head, unable to admit it to yourself. “Not always—it doesn’t matter, Eddie. I just need to go back downstairs and tell him I’m leaving—he can finally try and get Chrissy back, I know that’s what he’s after.”

“We were coming from a deal,” Eddie tells you abruptly, your eyes pulling up to him in confusion, his hand still resting against your cheek. He hasn’t moved it and you couldn’t be bothered to move it either, “—she’s one of my regulars.”

You laugh at the absurdity, giggle bubbling from your chest. “Chrissy, seriously? God—Jason would shit himself if he knew that.” Then again, maybe he did—and maybe that’s why he hated Eddie so much. You didn’t care to find out, Jason was the last thing on your mind.

Still, you couldn’t help but be upset at Eddie for being so irrational, causing a scene, you slap him in the chest suddenly, soft at first, but harder until he has to grip your hands, forcing you to stop. “That was stupid! Why would you do that?”

“I did that for you?” He responds passionately, and it pulls you back, surprised that he even admits it out loud. “Is that such a fucking shock that some cares about you?”

“We’re not together anymore.”

“Yeah—I’m very fucking aware of that,” Eddie snaps, “but I still care, I was your friend first, remember that?”

You’re silent, startled by his words. He’s not angry—just, upset.

“You threw all of that away,” Eddie tells you, “not me—not when I cared about you, liked you, fuck—I almost—I almost thought I loved you, you know?”

“Eddie—“

He doesn’t stop, a never ending flow of confessions. He was pouring his heart out to you in the middle of your ex-boyfriends party, hand still pounding with pain, and done with holding back for so long.

“You were worried about us not liking the same things? That I spent too much time on the things I enjoyed? You didn’t even communicate that to me,” Eddie takes a breath, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration, “maybe I was selfish for asking you to have sex with me that night, but I don’t regret—I never regretted anything in our relationship and if you hated me so much, you should’ve never committed yourself to it.”

“Eddie, I don’t regret anything—“

“And you start dating Jason, really? Jason?”

“Eddie!” You shout, and Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever heard you yell, stopping for a brief moment to hear you out. “I’m sorry—I should’ve never broken up with you the way I did.”

“Well, you did.”

And you feel it hit you, the urge to say it—it felt like you’re world was closing in on you and if you didn’t say it now, you’d never have the chance,

“I wish I’d never broken up with you at all.” You say softly, taking a step back to lean against the sink, hit with a sudden wave of vertigo or dizziness, the adrenaline of it all finally wearing off, “I can admit that now.”

“You don’t mean that.” Eddie says quietly, hand braced between you too, almost as a defensive mechanism. “Not after making me doubt everything about us.”

“You never did anything wrong,” You admit to him, “I was being selfish, I didn’t want to communicate—I just wanted things to be perfect—my perfect, but I don’t even know what this is now.”

“Relationships aren’t perfect, sweetheart.” He says soothingly, hand fading back slightly, “I’m pretty sure it’s impossible.”

“I’m starting to realize that.” You laugh bitterly, reflecting on all the stuff Jason had put you through, physically and mentally. “Look, I’m really sorry, Eddie.”

“It’s okay.”

It was not okay, but Eddie wanted to make you feel safe, even if he needed time to process everything himself.

You reach your hand forward to slip in his own, his fingers squeeze gently in return, like no time has passed at all. The low hum of the music from downstairs is overwhelming in the silence.

“I can take you home?” Eddie suggests, wanting to ditch this place just as bad. “If that’s what you want.”

You laugh softly at his weak attempt to be chivalrous, even if he was still upset with you, and it doesn’t dawn on you until you’re staring at the locked door of the bathroom, staring at Eddie, that you realized just how pissed you are at Jason—you were so caught up in making sure Eddie was alright that you forgot how cruel Jason had been toward Eddie, at your own expense. And if there was one parting gift you could leave Jason with, it would be this.

Eddie sees it too, the look in your eyes, like a silent agreement that whatever was to happen was just that—you could leave it here and forget about it afterwards, avoid the long awkward talk—just enjoy each other, because you knew you both needed it so desperately.

He’s on you instantly, arms looping around your middle to lift you up onto the counter, spreading your legs open until he is snug, fit between you like the last piece of a puzzle, exactly when you need. His hands are calculated, rough, yanking your head back until your mouth meets his and it feels fucking amazing.

You haven’t been kissed like this in a long time, overwhelmed by the sensation that you gasp loudly, eyes glaring into Eddie’s, his relaxed stare turning heated, his other hand slipping under your thigh, locking it around his hip until your cunt is pressed against the growing tent in his pants. He’s desperate for control and you can’t be bothered to fight it, letting him pull your head back until you’re grunting in pain, his lips latching into your neck greedily, leave a sizable bruise that’s too hard to ignore—and usually you aren’t one for hickeys, but you can’t be bothered to say no. You wanted it.

“Fuck, he really doesn’t touch you like this, does he?” Eddie asks redundantly, he knows Jason can’t, won’t—he’s unable to care about anyone but himself. “I’ve barely even kissed you and you’re already worked up.”

His hands push along the squishy flesh of your thighs, underneath the flowing material of your skirt until his fingertips bump your hip bones, squeezing tightly at the skin until you’re yelping, the small tickling sensation driving you wild.

“Answer me, sweetheart.” He demands, leaning forward to sneak his tongue out against your top lip, teasing you greatly before dipping down to slip his tongue past your lips completely, kissing you sloppily. “Need to hear you admit it.”

“He doesn’t,” You rush out through smothered kisses, the sound of your voice swallowed up by Eddie and his eager mouth, “haven't even—he doesn't make me come, it’s been so long.”

“How long?” Eddie asks softly, tipping your chin up with his fingers, pulling back slightly to look at you. “Tell me.”

“Since I’ve had an orgasm?”

He nods, thumb pulling at your bottom lip until it slips away.

“A couple days,” You tell him; it wasn’t a lie, “maybe three.”

“I’m not talking about doing it yourself,” He smiles, the warmth of his breath hitting your face, “has he ever made you come?”

You shake your head, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Eddie makes a small noise of astonishment, not that he’s entirely surprised, but that you allowed it to go on for so long—you, of all people. His hand slips around the back of your neck, thumb pressing against the point where your jaw meets.

“Let’s fix that, yeah?” He nods, urging to move off the counter and follow him. “Lock his door.”

The his makes it even worse, realizing how dirty this feels—but you can’t be bothered to care. You both make a hurried attempt at unlocking the bathroom door, letting Eddie flip the light switch on while you fumble clumsily with his lock, alight with nerves you’ve never felt before, hands shaking with anxiety.

Eddie noticed your hesitation, invading your space until he’s lodged between you and the door, head tilted down to look at you, “Hey—we don’t have to—“

You laugh at yourself, eyes squeezing shut, nose scrunching up in amusement. You feel ridiculous. It was Eddie. Eddie. You had nothing to be worried about.

“God—shut up,” You say endearingly, squeezing his face in your hands until he’s leaning forward to kiss you, large hands traveling down your thighs until you’re jumping into his grip, letting him carry you to the neatly made bed, no doubt to be ruined in a few moments, “—fuck, do whatever you want, I don’t care.”

Eddie cups your cunt, fingers tracing gently over the thin material of your underwear, his eyebrows quirks up in question.

“Yeah?” You nod furiously, the way you jerk at the smallest bit of pressure has him shaking his head in disbelief, “He couldn’t even touch you? You’re kidding me?”

You don’t answer and it causes Eddie to pull back, fully questioning every part of your relationship with Jason; it was a mystery how he could withstand touching you, almost seeming disgusted by it—it baffled Eddie to the point of speechlessness.

“Foreplay? Anything?” Eddie asks.

You shake your head, Eddie tuts softly in response.

“Sweetheart, you deserve so much more.” He says honestly, and you could burst into tears if you weren’t turned on right now, cunt pulsing at every minor touch Eddie made against your opening, sliding slowly up to the sensitive nub of your clit.

“Look at you,” He says tantalizingly, head tilted up slightly in a way to mock your own, your own head tilting back toward the pillows, mouth open on a wordless gasp, “I think I can make you come before I’m even inside you.”

You couldn’t even argue, it was absolutely possible.

Eddie carefully slips his hand up and under the thin barrier of your panties, the first bare touch of his finger like electricity, sliding through your slick and back toward your clit, the ease of friction was too much, your hand grabbing desperately at his forearm, the muscles flexing underneath your grip with every movement. Eddie leans over you more, free hand rising to brush the loose hair from your face, thumb rubbing gently against your forehead, his wide eyes boring into your own.

You moan without shame, openly and allowing the sounds to mix with the steady beat of the music. Eddie’s enjoy it too much, mouth opening with every sound you made, another easy attempt to mock you, flashing his big smile every time you caught on, but it didn’t stop you—and it definitely didn’t stop him. He’s rubbing deliberate, tight circles against your clit, determined to get you off quickly and break that long running streak that Jason had forced you into—none of that existed anymore.

“Eddie, huh—I’m gonna,” You breath catches, back arching off the bed as he stops for a moment, leaning forward to bite along the side of your jaw, gently at your cheek, whispering into your ear.

“Where are your manners?” Eddie asks softly, “Didn’t forget them, did you?”

“Fuck, please—please, Eddie. I can’t take this.” You beg, moaning loudly as he continued his movements, with fervor and quickness, “—oh, Eddie—I’m so close—just want to come, please?”

“Go ahead.” He whispers softly, face resting gently against the side of yours as you come with a drawn out moan, hips jerking through your orgasm, his middle finger working you through the high until you finally come back down, tapping gently at his hand until he finally gives you some relief, his smile entirely too smug.

“He’s really missing out,” Eddie tells you, voice soft, “You look so pretty when you come.”

And you don’t think you’ve ever blushed harder, shoving Eddie’s face away from yours playfully, giggling when he nips at your shoulder. You could drag this out, indulge in everything you missed out on for the last couple of months, but you really just wanted Eddie inside you—sex with him was…palpable. There was always a charge of something within it, a connection that you didn’t have with Jason—it was like a drug.

“I could say the same thing for you,” You tease, yanking Eddie down against you, letting him shift until he’s settled between your legs, “—but I think I might need a refresher.”

Eddie pulls at his belt, shirt lifted halfway up his stomach as he works against the material, tossing his belt, then pants to the side—and somehow manages to pull your skirt and panties down in one go, save for your shirt. “Condoms?” He asks, when he’s finally settled back between your legs.

Fuck, you really should have thought about that.

You lean over to the bedside table, rummaging through Jason's cluttered drawer and finally find the box, albeit empty, as you turn it over to shake out on the bed, discarding the useless cardboard.

Eddie chuckles from beside you, palming at his hard cock, your own face still filled with worry, anticipation. “Won’t be the first time, right?” You shake your head sheepishly, “—did he ever—“

You couldn’t stand the idea of sex with Jason without a condom, it was never a consideration or a question—it was the rule.

Another small head shake, Eddie’s grin grows wider—he’s unashamed and cocky as he hands roam his cock, tugging leisurely, he notices your gaze pulling to his hands—and it’s been so long, you just can’t help yourself.

“You want it?” Eddie asks teasingly, his free hand coming down to run through your folds, “You think you deserve it?”

The real answer is no, but you nod your head anyways, your hand coming up to yank at the bottom of his shirt, pulling him forward, cock nudging the top of your cunt lightly.

“Don’t go quiet on me now,” He chided, rubbing the leaking tip of his cock down the seam of your cunt, his breath slightly labored as he leans over you, twisting the thin cotton of your shirt in his hands, using it as leverage to pull you against him, his hips rocking gently, “do you, sweetheart?”

You gasp softly, your grip on his shirt tighter, the holds on each other like a vice, using one another as anchors, keeping yourself grounded in the moment. “Look at you,” He nods toward your soaked cunt, his dick glistening from your wetness, “—she missed me, didn’t she?”

You nod fervently, “Now answer my question,” Eddie says again, voice low and riddled with a timber that has you clenching around nothing, “do you deserve it?”

“No,” You say honestly, pathetically, but you still lift your hips up higher, forcing him to slip into you momentarily, his hips rocking away in response, “—I don’t, Eddie.”

“That’s right,” He nods, another soft tug at the shirt twisted in his hands and you rock against him once more, “—but I’m feeling generous.”

And he slips in slowly, without warning, your mouth open on a soundless whine as he stretches you open, his face drawn up in concentration. “Fuck—“ He groans, the hand that isn’t holding onto your shirt settles at your side, his thumb pressing against the outline of your hipbone as you breath, adjusting to him—he was bigger than Jason, more confident, and you felt it immediately, “—feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah—yes,” You nod, letting out a soft moan at his gentle thrust, his eyes never leaving your face, half lidded and dark—his eye contact drove you wild, something you’ve never felt before him, he fed off of the connection, wanting to watch you fall apart underneath him, but you were selfish and couldn’t help watching either, “take care of me, Eddie—please?”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” He says mockingly, a few more forceful thrusts that had Jason’s bed rocking against the wall, you couldn’t be bothered to care, too caught up in the moment. “—god, it’s been weeks, months since—“

“Since we’ve been together, yeah—I know,” You didn’t want to relive that pain, not with him deep inside you right now. “Let’s not talk about it.”

Eddie’s chuckle dies out on a groan as your cunt clenches around him, already over sensitive from your orgasm a few minutes ago, “I was trying to say since I’ve had sex.” He admits and you can’t help but look shocked.

“You—you haven’t—oh,” You gasp, a sharp snap of his hips has you grasping the sheets, untucking the nicely made bed, “—you really haven’t had—“

Eddie shakes his head lazily, fucking into you at a steady rhythm now, the mix of your moans overpowering whatever music was playing downstairs and if anyone was to turn it down, they’d surely here what was happening several feet above them.

“He doesn’t like you—like this, does he?” Eddie asks harshly, his gaze heated and powerful, his hand loosening from your shirt to slip under your thighs, lifting them up at an angle that has you whining loudly, his cock slipping out of you momentarily before sliding back in roughly, “—can’t even look at you, it’s a fucking shame.”

You nod dumbly, agreeing with whatever he had to say. “He only ever—fuck, he only ever wanted me on my hands and—my, my knees,” You struggle to say, Eddie’s hands squeezing at your thighs relentlessly, pulling you wide and open, his gaze locked on the space where you two were connected, watching himself disappear again and again, mumbling soft, sweet praises that had you stomach clenching with pleasure, “—s’not like this, never like this.”

Eddie’s so lost in his own pleasure that he doesn’t respond, mouth hung open slightly as he moved against you, his soft, pink lips and deep contrast from his flushed face, the sweat of his face making his bangs stick to his forehead, he wouldn’t even remember his name if you asked him.

“Eddie,” You say softly, broken on a gasp as he finally looks at you, his eyes there, but distant, “—I can take over.”

“Fuck, please—“ He sighs, flipping you both over without much problem, your hips locking around his own instinctively—the pace you set is overwhelming and Eddie moans out—if they didn’t know what was going on before, they surely did now. You couldn’t be bothered to care, though.

“Wanna see your tits,” Eddie confesses, fumbling with the bottom of your shirt, “—please, baby.”

It’s a momentary slip, but neither of you address it. You slip the shirt over your head quickly, tossing it off to the side as Eddie leans up, his mouth latching over your breast without hesitation, sucking gently at the flesh, his other hand blindly wrapping around your neck, not squeezing, but resting.

You lean into it, a silent agreement to what he was asking, rocking your hips desperately against his cock, a feeble sound of acknowledgement slipping from your mouth, “Uh huh,” You answer, his face pulling away to look at you, “it’s okay.”

His hand tightens slightly, the pressure another added sensation. Eddie aids in the harsh bounce of your hips, ass slapping loudly against his thighs as he forces back a plethora of moans, trying to save you both some decency when you find the courage to walk downstairs.

“What did I tell you?” He says harshly, neck angling up as he shifts his hand, “That night—when you broke up with me—say it.”

“Never—never would find someone,” You gasp suddenly, the hand not wrapped around your throat coming to work against your clit, his movements quick and deliberate, “—that fucks me like—fuck, like you do—no one takes care of me like you do.”

“Shit—and I was right, wasn’t I?” The fact that he even has the nerve to be so bold at a moment like this is pushing you over the edge, the feeling, the sensations, the anger in his voice—it was all the built up tension Eddie had held back finally breaking free, and you couldn’t take it.

“Yes,” You whine, movements slowing against him as you came, your hands bracing against his chest as you rode out the orgasm, his own hands struggling to latch onto your thighs, the precipice of his own release near, struggling to focus on your words, “—there’s no one, Eddie—fuck, no one like you.”

“Say my name like that again,” He pleads through gritted teeth, “want him to hear you say my name.”

“Eddie.” You say on a sigh, his eyes falling shut as his thighs tense, his movements erratic, sloppy—

“Louder,” He begs, falling back against the ruined bed, pillows and blankets askew, “fuck—say it louder.”

“Eddie,” You moan loudly, mostly out of performances but it’s also just felt so fucking good having him inside you again, moaning out his name with no shame, “—fuck, Eddie!”

“Shit,” He curses, “Move—sweetheart, please.”

He’s there, right there—but you can’t be bothered to care.

“Want you to come inside me, Eddie.” You tell him softly, “Please?”

And if wasn’t the sound of your voice that did him in, it was the faint pout on your face as you sunk down for the last time, his cock spilling inside you, groaning loudly through his orgasm, cursing at the sheer force that it hits him with, “—that was—fuck—“ He breathes out, his shirt sticking to his chest with sweat, “—Jesus Christ.”

Your face pulls up in a smile, watching Eddie process everything, his hands squeezing at the flesh of your thighs gently, comfortingly. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually he comes back down, staring at you with a look that makes you feel vulnerable.

“That was so much better than break up sex,” He laughs tiredly, tugging at your arm until you fall against him, hands braced on either side of his head, “—can I kiss you?”

You nod slowly, his hands lifting your hips to pull himself out of you, but the kiss soothes the loss, warm touches traveling up your spine as he slips his tongue past your lips, kissing you so full it’s overwhelming—the kind of fullness that came with love and history and emotion, you knew you weren’t over Eddie, and he wasn’t over you.

“How are we supposed to walk back downstairs and act normal?” You ask with a lilt, face turning a soft shade of pink at the idea that everyone would know the second they laid eyes on you.

Eddie sits up, bringing you with him—“You should probably clean up first,” He points out knowingly, “and I need my rings.”

“Shit—oh, shit,” You completely forget, so caught up in everything, Eddie helps you off of his lap, throwing your clothes as you run through the bathroom entryway, disappearing for a moment while he dressed, “—can you fix the bed?” Your voice carries, the distant sound as you rustle around, grabbing Eddie’s rings.

“Fuck him,” Eddie scoffs lightly, mocking the offended look on his face as you peer around the door, rings clasped in your hand, “—seriously, fuck him.”

You shake your head with amusement, handing him his jewelry, watching him shove them into the pocket of his jeans.

“You should have thought about that before we fucked in his bed, sweetheart.” And you hated him for being right. “—let me drive you home.”

“Fine,” You sigh, “—but this does not mean we’re back together, Eddie. I still have to break up with him.”

Eddie laughs softly, hand reaching forward to tip your chin up, his thumb rubbing against your bottom lip, “I never said anything about getting back together, sweetheart—but if that’s really what you want—“

You shake your head gently, “We can figure it out—I don’t expect anything after how I broke up with you.”

Eddie smiles, pulling your chin up high, his lips barely grazing against your own, “That isn’t gonna stop me from fucking you, though—someone’s gotta take care of you.”

And it didn’t sound bad at all—everything was complicated, you didn’t know how you could make things work after breaking up with Eddie the first time, but you were willing to give it time; figure things out.

“Now, you’re gonna go look Jason in the eye,” Eddie waits for your nod of understanding, “and break his heart.”

His devilish smile was enough to make you do anything if he asked.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #my writing #1kfic

1K notes · View notes

sp1rit-realm · 1 year

Text

༻¨*:· 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 ·:*¨༺

༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ you get butterflies upon meeting the town freak.

༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 fem!reader (she/her prns) 𖦹 college!au 𖦹 fluffy. so fluffy 𖦹 modern!au (reader found corroded coffin on spotify or something) 𖦹 chrissy is alive and well and gay as hell! 𖦹 i did not proofread this⎝(ˊᗜˋ)⎠

༻¨*:· word count ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 4.6k (wow. longest fic i ever wrote. cray cray)

Walking down the seemingly never-ending hallway, you curse yourself. Being 5 minutes late to your first class wouldn't leave an excellent impression. You cringe when the door creaks open—squeezing your eyes shut and pursing your lips. You beeline to the back of the class and take the first empty seat you see. The boy sitting beside the vacant one gives you a tight-lipped smile. He has big brown eyes and long curly hair.

'He's cute,' You think to yourself.

Two weeks later, you sit in the building's lobby. Eddie almost does a spit-take when you tell him your first impression of him. "I swear!" You protest—eyes squinted from laughter, "I thought you had to be James Hetfield's son. Distant cousin, at least."

"It's just because of the clothes," He laughs.

"And the hair! The hair!"

He laughs more; you join him.

Not long after you've met, the two of you drive around in his van blasting music, singing, talking, the whole nine yards. Soon, you're at his trailer, talking to this famed "Wayne" Eddie always speaks so highly about. He doesn't say much before leaving, and you're worried he doesn't like you.

"He likes you just fine, lovely," He reassures. Your stomach flips at the nickname. Lovely, he's never called you that before.

You nod, butterflies swarming in your stomach.

"What made you move here?" He asks, expertly rolling.

You're startled by the question, "Wanted to get away from my place. Family sucks sometimes," You shrug.

"So you decided to come to the rundown, shoddy town of Hawkins, Indiana?"

"Yeah."

"And then you befriended the town freak?"

You nod.

He shakes his head, "It seems like you're doing life all wrong."

"I think I'm doing it all right," You argue, "I met this boy, and we became friends. He's, like, the best friend I've ever had." You smile, looking at your hands as they rest in your lap.

Eddie smiles when he sees your eyes wandering around his room. He grins when you gawk at his homemade Corroded Coffin poster.

"You have a Corroded Coffin poster?" You practically squealed.

Eddie was confused, "Yes?"

Your head whips around so fast Eddie's worried you've injured yourself, "So you know who they are?" You were practically gushing.

"Yes?"

"Oh my God," Your words are rushed, "I love their music. I can't find any posters or shirts or anything. Where did you find this?"

Eddie can't stop his heart from overflowing, and his cheeks hurt from smiling so much, "C'mon. I have something to show you. It's in the car."

Excitedly, you skip through his house and up to his van. He searches through the back to find a CD. He's giddy as he hops in, signaling you to do the same. Once you're in the bucket of bolts, as you like to call it—Eddie hates the nickname with a passion. Eddie starts the van, slotting the CD into the player.

"This is, uh," You hear a voice come through, "Our first recording. Hope it sounds good. This is Eddie Munson. From Corroded Coffin," He adds, "For record purposes—or something like that. I'm really fucking high right now."

Your jaw is on the floor, "You're lying."

"I'm not lying!" He argues.

"I genuinely don't believe that my best friend is part of the band Corroded Coffin."

"Baby, not only am I part of it, I'm the lead guitarist."

The nickname, everything about this, has the butterflies fighting their way up your ribcage. You won't let them win.

"If I ever got to see you perform," You say, exhaling smoke, "I would've thrown my bra on the stage."

Eddie laughs, hoping you don't see how red his face is getting. "You wouldn't have," He disputes, "I'm just some guy."

"Or my panties," You ignore him, "Or any article of clothing."

"Again, babe, I'm just some guy." He repeats.

"Some awesome guy," You correct, "Who is sexy and can play the guitar."

Eddie sits up to stare at you, "Did you just call me sexy?"

Your eyes are saucers, "No. No, I didn't. I would never say anything like that."

A smirk crawls up Eddie's face, settling on his lips. It's a good look, you think, before shaking your head. Trying to get rid of the thought like your mind was an etch-a-sketch.

"What are you thinking about, pretty thing?"

The butterflies are in your throat, and you're unsure how long you can contain them. "Nothing," You respond, bringing the joint back to your lips.

He snatches it away from you, and you whine. He frowns at you, mocking sympathy, "You can have it back when you tell me what you're thinking."

Finally, you sit up, "'M thinking about how I want to smoke some more." You huff, crossing your arms.

"C'mon, babe," He pleads, batting his big brown eyes.

The butterflies are in your mouth, and you hold your breath, willing them not to escape. "I have to leave," Your words are rushed as you stand up, frantically looking for your sweater.

Eddie watches in amusement, "Looking for something?" He holds the sweater out of your reach.

"Whatever, I don't even need my sweater." You huff, going to storm out of his home.

Eddie stops you, "Shit, baby. I didn't know I upset you that much. I'm sorry." He frowns, and it feels sincere. So many things feel sincere with him, and it hurts your heart. You accept his apology and walk back to his room. He snuggles up with you in the tiny bed. It's nice when you lay with Eddie. His hands explore your body—they trace over your stretch marks and scars, rub up and down your thigh, and grab at your stomach. He doesn't touch you like a typical boy would. He's not lustful; he's gentle. He has no ulterior motives—he just wants to be close to you. He squeezes your hip, and you sigh pleasantly—a butterfly escapes. You let him know that he is bliss through a simple sigh, and Eddie takes that information and runs with it. He squeezes your hip again. You hum.

"Nice," You tiredly whisper.

Eddie can't help his grin, "Yeah? Feels nice, baby?"

You nod lazily, "Like when you call me baby."

Yeah, you're tired—tired and high.

He hums in response, and you fall asleep in his arms.

Eddie can definitely get used to this, he thinks. He finds you lovely like this. You have a little bit of drool on the corner of your mouth, and you'll totally freak out about it later. He's not sure why. All he knows is that you'll pitch a playful fit if he pokes fun at you. You'll do that thing where you get all pouty, and Eddie just wants to kiss your lips, which is something he cannot do. So he'll stick with not making fun of you.

You're softly snoring, and Eddie can't help but think that this is domesticity—this is what it's all about. For the first time, Eddie knows what he wants. He wants to wake up to you clinging onto him like a koala, and he wants to wipe away your drool, and he wants to get up and make breakfast for you.

"Baby," He whispers. It's gentle, like he doesn't want to wake you up, but he knows you'll be upset if you're late to class. You groan and murmur: "Five more minutes."

He wants to say okay, but it's eight o'clock, and you need to leave in twenty minutes.

"Baby," He repeats, softly shaking you, "It's eight."

You nearly spring up, "Eight?!" You ask, exasperated. "Eddie," You whine, "Why didn't you get me up earlier?"

"Because last night you told me to get you up at eight," He shrugs.

"I said eight at the latest, Eddie." You frown and cross your arms. And then you feel it—there's drool on your face. You furiously wipe at the side of your mouth, growing more embarrassed by the moment. You get up, grab your clothes, and head to the bathroom. It's pretty cramped in there; you make do. You splash cold water on your face, grab your toothbrush, and brush your teeth for undoubtedly shorter than two minutes. Your fingers comb through your hair, and you call it a day.

You lean against Eddie's doorframe, "Funny seeing you here." You smirk, and then your face heats up when you realize he's shirtless. Then, you can't stop staring at the plethora of scars that litter his body. What the fuck?

"Like what you see?" He asks, flashing his teeth. Then, his expression drops as he realizes that you're not enjoying the view; you're wondering what the fuck happened to him.

"I'll tell you in the car," He mutters. This is it—this is the end of any kind of chance he had with you. You won't believe him. Hell, he didn't believe it for a while.

On the drive to school, he tells you. He tells you everything, keeping his eyes on the road. He's too scared of your rejection. At the end of the story, all you have to say is: "I believe you, Eddie."

You're parked when he speaks next, and the three minutes in between feel like torture.

"You do?"

You can't make out his expression, "Eddie," You laugh out, though nothing's humorous, "If you told me the loch ness monster was real, I would believe you."

"Babe, this is far weirder than the loch ness monster. There is another dimension, baby."

The nickname has another butterfly escaping from your mouth as you smile.

"What's got you so happy?" He laughs as you try to hide your grin.

"Nothing," You shake your head. Eddie doesn't believe you.

"Are you happy that I almost died? What is it?"

You turn sheepish, fidgeting with your rings, "You called me baby again."

"You're cute as a button."

Class is spent yawning and passing notes to one another. Eddie's good at drawing, and he draws you amazing, stupid doodles. You keep every single one. They are hung up all over your room.

"Worst room decor ever," Eddie mumbles as he enters your room.

"Best room decor ever," You correct him.

"I can't believe you kept all of this. All of my shitty drawings."

You furrow your brows, "They're not shitty, Eddie. Don't say things like that."

He laughs at your sincerity, "Okay, baby, I won't."

There's no way he's not saying it just to fluster you at this point.

"Stop," You whine.

"Stop what, baby?"

You huff as you plop onto your bed, "Calling me baby."

"I thought you liked it when I called you baby, baby."

"I like it when you do it sincerely, Edison."

"Edison?!" His brows jump, "Isn't that the dude who invented the lightbulb?"

"All those years in high school did pay off!" You clap, "Good job Eddie!"

He scowls, "Funny. Real amusing," You giggle, "Yeah, keep it up. Keep laughing at the freak."

You pout, "I'm not laughing at the freak. I'm laughing at the smart boy I met on my first day of college."

Fuck, Eddie wants to kiss the pout right off of you. He settles for sitting next to you.

"Don't pout, baby," He rests his head on your shoulder, "I'm not worth pouting over."

This time, you actually pout, "What do you mean 'not worth pouting over?'"

"C'mon, sweetheart," He sighs, "I'm not worth much in general."

"You are worth so much, Eddie. And I'm not just saying that. You mean so much to me. You think I'd pin anyone's drawings up all around my room?"

He hides his head further into your neck.

"Hey, don't get all shy on me now." You chide, though the words have no backbone to them.

"'M getting shy on you. Not gonna stop until you're done being sappy." He murmurs into your neck—his hair is tickling you. You cant find it in you to care.

"C'mon," You whine, "Show me your pretty face, Eddie."

"No." He nuzzles further into your neck, "Called me pretty." He's soft-spoken—it's an intimate moment. An intimate moment that's unlike any other you've had. A boy is on your shoulder, and you built up the courage to call him pretty.

"You are pretty," You affirm.

"So are you."

You smile, butterflies growing stronger.

"You want to have lunch together?" Your voice crackles over the phone, and Eddie is unable to make out what you're saying.

"Sorry, what was that, sweetheart?"

"Edward," You state, "Would you like to get lunch with me?"

He frowns, "I can't."

You frown, too, "Why not?"

"An old friend is in town. I'm getting lunch with her at the best diner ever." He explains

"Oh!"

"Yeah, I'm really excited to see her." He continues.

"Okay, okay, we get it. You can't wait to see your BFF." Your tone is slightly more bitter than you intend, and Eddie picks up on it.

"What? You jealous?" He teases.

"Furthest thing from it, Edwin."

"Edwin?!"

"Goodbye, Edmund." You hang up.

Dejected, you walk to the cafeteria.

It's only been a year since Eddie last saw Chrissy, and he's missed her like hell. Back in the little diner, they laugh over nothing and everything.

He gets a call in the middle of Chrissy telling a story.

"Baby?" He answers, and Chrissy lights up.

"Can you get me something? A burger, maybe?"

And, of course, he'll bring you a burger. He'd bring you the sun and the moon if it meant he could see you smile.

"No," He declares, "No, I will not do that."

"Did I do something, Eddie? Sorry for calling you Edwin earlier. If that's what you're upset about."

"I'm joking around, baby. I'll definitely bring back a burger for you. I'll get you all the burgers you want. I'll fill my van with burgers, even." He twirls his hair. Chrissy can't stop grinning.

"Love you forever, Eds. I gotta go now."

"Why?" Eddie wines.

"'Cause there's a really cute boy walking towards me. Bye!"

And before he can respond, you've hung up.

"So..." Chrissy starts, "Who're you calling 'baby?'"

"Nobody," Eddie goes red, staring at his fries.

"C'mon, Eddie," She pleads, "I told you all about my girlfriend. Time to tell me about your partner."

"I'm not dating anybody, actually," Eddie frowns the slightest bit, "We're just friends."

"Okay, so," Chrisssy claps her hands together, "While I am here, I will be rolling out my master plan: Get Eddie Together With The Love of His Life. I'll figure out a way to shorten it."

Eddie's eyes widen, "Woah! Love of my life? A little too far, Chris."

"I saw that smile," She giggles, "Don't try and hide it from me."

"Reminder to self," You say, walking to class, "Just because he's cute does not mean he's interesting."

"Where's the pretty boy?"

You turn around to see Eddie jogging toward you. He holds a box that has your name written on it, next to it, a big heart.

"He was boring," You scoffed, "Wouldn't stop talking about baseball. Who even cares?"

Eddie throws his head back, "Exactly! Who fucking cares?! Not me, I'll tell you that much."

You laugh, going to snatch the box from his hands. "Mmm. Burbger."

“Burbger?” He laughs.

You nod, “Mhm.”

"Good burger," You sigh, "How come you've never taken me there? To the diner?" You clarify.

"Never felt the need to," He shrugs, and it hurts your feelings.

"Cool."

He nods, oblivious to his hurtful words.

You don't drive home with Eddie for the first time in weeks. You know you're acting childish, but he really did hurt your feelings.

Eddie still doesn't think anything is wrong until you don't text him goodnight. You always say goodnight to him.

'Baby,'

He texts you,

'I'm not sure what I did to hurt you, but I'm sorry.'

You don't answer, and his anxieties grow by the second.

What did he do?

"Eddie?" Chrissy croaks, "It's two in the morning."

"It's actually two fifty-eight," He corrects.

"Eddie," She scolds, "You know I love you, but shut the fuck up and tell me why you called me."

"I kind of fucked up big time. A big ole fucky-wucky on my part, Chris."

"Eddie, stop speaking in riddles and tell me what's happening."

"She won't talk to me—she didn't say goodnight, she won't answer my texts, she didn't come home with me today," He rattles off.

"Woah, woah, woah cowboy." Chrissy sighs, "Do you have any clue why she might not have said goodnight?"

"Because I fucked up?" He asks.

"Obviously. Do you know why you fucked up?"

"No. I don't. I have not a clue, Chris." He sighs, "Not a clue."

"Okay. Unhelpful," Chrissy groans, "Recall today's events."

"I woke up at seven forty-six," He begins.

"I meant your interactions with her, dimwit."

"She asked if I wanted to have lunch," he begins recounting his day, "Then she asked for a burger. I gave her the burger, and she said it was delicious. She then asked me why I never took her to the diner, and I said I never felt the need to. That's it."

Chrissy rolls her eyes, sighing, "You told her you never felt the need to?"

Eddie senses he's made a big mistake, "...Yes?"

"You idiot. Obviously, this diner is special to you, right?"

Eddie rubs his hand over his face, "I told her it's the best diner ever."

"Idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot! You are so incredibly foolish, Edward."

"I know," He groans, "I'm going to apologize now."

"Goodnight, Munson."

"Night, Cunningham."

You wake up in a haze. Sitting up, you make a mental note to never cry yourself to sleep again. The first thing you do is check your phone.

Eddie's text lights up your screen.

'Hey,' It beings, 'Sorry for saying I never felt the need to take you to the diner. It's a really special place for me. I don't go often because I need it to remain special. I need it to stay stuck in time. I've only ever gone with my friends from before you, but I'll take you soon. I promise.'

It doesn't come off the best, but you know what he means. You're new to his life, and he wants to keep the diner old.

'Thanks, Eds :) I forgive you,' You reply.

'See you at school,' You finish.

Eddie walks into the lobby with a wild grin, searching for you. You're on your phone, probably playing that stupid game he likes to make fun of.

Eddie pulls out the seat opposite yours. You look up and smile.

"You look like the Cheshire Cat," You smirk.

"He went... that way," He puts on a goofy voice, reciting the creepy cat.

"Who did?" You play along.

"The white rabbit."

You widen your eyes, "He did?"

"Who did?" He furrows his brows.

"The white rabbit," You chuckle.

He takes a deep inhale, "What rabbit?"

Laughing, you continue, "But you just said— oh dear."

Eddie stands up, extending his arm toward you, "Can you stand on your head?"

You giggle, taking his hand.

You grab lunch together. Eddie's not ready to take you to the diner, so you settle for the small pizza place next to campus. Eddie nearly inhales his food, and you laugh when he chokes on his soda. You feel an overwhelming sense of joy when it comes to him, and you know the butterflies are making their way out.

On the drive to his house, he taps along with a song you've just played, and you're bubbling with excitement that he just listened to music that wasn't metal. Let alone a piece you showed him.

"I could get used to your music," He pauses, inhales deeply, then continues. "I think."

You laugh—you're always laughing with him, it seems.

You find yourself on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, ready to watch Scream. Eddie plops down next to you when the movie starts. About five minutes in, he pretends to yawn and reaches his arm around your shoulder. You giggle, leaning into him, and the butterflies flap their wings rapidly. You fall asleep on Eddie's side.

"Lovebirds," You hear a voice boom, "Go to bed."

You groggily open your eyes and look up to, what seems to be, the voice of god. It's Wayne, you realize.

Eddie's face is bright red after his uncle's words register.

'Lovebirds.'

You seem unaffected by the term; secretly, excitement bubbles in your stomach.

"Didn't I tell you to fall asleep in a bed? Not on my couch?"

"Sorry, Wayne," You mumble.

He pats you on the shoulder, "Just don't want you two to have back pains before you're supposed to."

"Thanks, Wayne," You murmur as you shuffle to Eddie's room.

"Of course," The man grumbles.

"Told you he likes you," Eddie mumbles into your hair as he presses a chaste kiss to your head.

"Kids in love," Wayne mutters, sitting on the couch.

Fucking midterms. You genuinely cannot stand them. You've been up late every night this week studying and want to bash your head in. You've barely had time to see Eddie outside of class, and it just makes everything ten times worse. You've talked to him over the phone, but nothing matched his touch. His warm, calloused hands would run up and down your arms when you were cold or up and down your sides when you lay together. You've missed his lingering kisses on your cheek and forehead.

You've also missed Wayne. You've come to understand how he shows love—just last week, he gave you your favorite candy, and you were gushing about it to Eddie.

Now, you sit in your room—the only light coming from your laptop, and the wrapper of Wayne's gift is crumpled on your desk's side. Your phone buzzes, and you smile at the stupid picture of Eddie that lights up your screen.

"Hello?" Eddie says in a goofy voice, "Hellooo?" He asks again.

"Hi," You respond with a giddy smile.

"Hi, I'm lookin' for a real pretty girl. She told me that this is her phone number. She's brilliant and sweet, and my uncle Wayne loves her."

"Yeah? Lookin' for her?"

"I sure am."

"I'll let her know in about an hour—when she finishes studying."

Eddie pouts, hoping you'll hear it, "Why?"

It doesn't go unnoticed, "'Cause she's gotta study."

"Booo!" He yells. You hang up.

"Hello?" You ask with a smile.

"Hi."

"Someone told me a very handsome guy was calling for me. Said he's got cool rings and can play guitar."

"Oh!" You can hear him chuckle, "I do recall that conversation."

"So," You take a deep breath, "What'd ya want to talk about?"

"Politics, the weather, the deal with the DMV, and how I hate my wife."

You laugh, "So I've got 90's stand-up comic Eddie on the line?"

"Sure do, sweetheart."

You fall asleep on the phone.

"Eds," You whisper.

He turns the music down, "Yes?"

"What if I fail?"

"Baby," He puts his hand on your thigh, and the butterflies won't stop flapping their wings, "You're not gonna fail. You've been studying all week. If anything, I'm going to fail."

You roll your eyes, "I told you you should've studied."

Eddie rolls his eyes back, snatching his hand away from you, "I told you the only way I was going to study unless it was with you."

"Oh, so this is my fault?"

"If I fail, it's your fault, sweetheart."

"How do you think you did?" Eddie finished long before you. Your whole body is filled with bubbling nerves.

"I don't know," You respond, not daring to look anywhere but forward, "I feel like I'm going to faint." You murmur.

"Okay, baby." Eddie grabs your shoulders and runs his hands up and down your arms, "Take a deep breath. In... and out."

You don't care that you might be blocking the hallway—the students can find a way around you. All that matters is Eddie is helping you calm down—his hands are on you, and his head is resting on yours.

"You feelin' a little better, baby?" He asks after a few minutes.

"Feelin' a lot better."

"I'm glad."

He kisses your shoulder, and you swoon.

"What's on your mind?" Eddie asks, bringing the joint to his mouth. It's a roach at this point—he still insists on smoking it.

"Nothing," You answer—he can tell you're lying. He says it, and you roll your eyes, "Eddie, I'm not lying."

"Seriously, babe." He sits up, "What's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"First off, rude." You cross your arms with a sad expression, "Second, nothing. I am literally thinking about what I'm going to have for dinner."

"Food. You're going to have food. Now, what are you actually thinking about?"

It's strange that Eddie is being so adamant about this. Usually, if you ask him to leave something alone, he'll leave it alone. It's as if he knows that you've got butterflies in every crevice of your body—that you like him—and he's trying to coax it out of you. You're unsure why.

"What are you thinking about?" You shoot back.

"Not fair. I asked you first." He pouts.

"And I asked you second." You shrug with a smug smirk.

"Yeah, so you should answer first. I should answer second." He reasons.

"I'm thinking about a person," You begin, "A boy." It's all you supply.

"A boy?" Eddie asks, suddenly growing insecure. His crush on you isn't a new thing. He was sure he was in love with you the second you said he looked like James Hetfield. He would swear on his life that he liked you the second he saw you.

"Yes, Edward, a boy. Okay, your turn. What're you thinking about?"

"Chrissy."

It's painfully apparent that you're hurt, "Chrissy? Who's Chrissy?"

Part of Eddie is happy you seem jealous. The other part of him feels terrible.

"Chrissy is the girl I went to the diner with."

You nod dramatically, "Oh, yeah. Of course. Of course."

He can't hold it in any longer, "Jealous?"

Your eyes are saucers, "What?"

"What?" He parrots.

"What makes you think I'm jealous?"

"Just a hunch," He shrugs.

"No," You cross your arms, "Why do you think I'm jealous? And what exactly am I jealous of?" You demand.

"Well, the change in body language when I said Chrissy would suggest that you are jealous. Jealous of Chrissy and I's relationship."

"One, the correct wording would be 'Chrissy and me,'" You quip—Eddie rolls his eyes, "Second, you sound ridiculous. You sound like you're stupid, but you're trying to be smart."

"Don't call me stupid," Eddie crosses his arms, "I'm brilliant. Thank you very much."

"I didn't call you stupid, Eds," You pout.

"Stop pouting," He pokes your jutted-out lip, "It makes me want to—" He cuts himself off by bringing the joint back to his lips.

"It makes you want to what?" You ask, secretly hoping the answer is what you've been wishing for.

"It makes me want to do something I shouldn't do."

"Yeah?" You smile, "Like what."

"Sweetheart," He sighs, "I have a feeling that you know. And I'm not sure why you insist on hearing it from my mouth."

"I don't know what you mean," You feign innocence.

"I think you know exactly what I mean." He whispers into your ear, and you shudder at the sudden closeness.

You turn, "C'mon, Ed's," You're so close that you're sure the butterflies will float out of your mouth and go straight in his, "Don't make me say it."

"Well, I don't want to say it, either," He mutters.

"So... where does that leave us?"

Three beats of silence go by, and a butterfly escapes when he puts his hand over yours.

"Can I kiss you?" His voice is a whisper.

"Yes."

guys i fink im going to do a part 2 :0

as always, thank you for reading <3

mutuals:

@queerpumpkinnn @woahlifehitsyahuh @evergreenlover @reysdriver @thesunandstarss @tracymbcm @youre-so-lovely @y4ksh42 @until-i-found-you @inkluvs @imabee-oralizard @prongsio @puppy-coded @spaceagebachelormann @starsval @doyouknowwhoyouare13 @dancinglikeaballerina @ghostlyfleur @just-another-lovesong @starlit-epiphany @justpjostufff @lovers-tunnel @zvdvdlvr @cosmal @vampieteeth @bruisedboys @meredarling @maddipoof

#sp1rit realm #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson thoughts #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things4 #stranger things x reader #chrissy cunningham #₊˚.༄ hannah writes

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 9 months

Note

could i request some chris pontius or steveo x shy reader? where maybe it's her first day on set and she like works in makeup and he's just flirting w her making a blushing mess lol tysm

Cat and Mouse

Y/N gets her first real job and gets caught up in a romance she could have never imagined!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

2.8k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, slowburn, flirting, teasing, crude language, drinking, accidental injuries, praise, stalkerish behavior from Y/N if you squint

An: Thank you so much for the request!! Finals hav been kicking my ass lately but I somehow managed to crank this one out XD There’s something about the dynamic of this fic that just enchanted me and I would be more than happy to write this kind of fic for some of the other guys! I’d especially love to see what would play out with Johnny, but maybe that’s a little self indulgent X) Anyways, as always, my requests are open and I’m still accepting fic requests for my 100 follower special, so keep sending them in!! I have a few good ones of my own coming down the pipeline so keep your eye out! ;)

It was your first day on set, so it was understandable that you were nervous as you walked into the trailer on the Paramount lot, your makeup kit in tow. All you were told when you first got the job was where you would report to and that you would be working on a movie set- that’s it. Kinda sketchy but hey, maybe it’s a privacy thing. It was just you in the makeup trailer as you collected yourself, taking a deep breath as you flipped the bright white vanity lights on and started to set up your gear on the counter.

You were so immersed with arranging brushes and products that you didn’t even hear the trailer door open as your client walked in, only being alerted to his presence as you felt the foldy director’s chair he was sitting in shift a little as he took a seat. Holy shit. Speechless, you blinked a few times, trying to register who you were looking at- not that you didn’t know him, it’s just this was too good to not be some dream. “Are- are you Steve- O?” He chuckled, flashing you that boyish smile as he sat back in his chair, “In the flesh, baby.”

It was about then when you realized that maybe you were leaning a little too close to him- your boobs were practically squished against the back of his head. He didn’t seem to be that bothered by it, not looking upset in the slightest as you stepped away, blushing. It would be impossible to deny that you’d had a crush on Steve ever since you saw him on TV, back when he was swallowing goldfish for a living, and this first impression wasn't helping the feelings that stirred inside of you.

Trying to distract yourself, you grabbed a shade of concealer that looked like it matched his skin tone to cover up the blotchy mauve shiner that covered nearly a quarter of his face- a product of a movie star lifestyle you could only dream of. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” Steve gestured to the glaring mark with a finger, his voice low, “Kinda wanna keep it there. Looks pretty rad, y’know?” You nodded, the only response your body could give, your eyes wide. He seemed so cool, so calm in comparison to his usual obnoxious stunt dude behavior.

And so you continued with what you were being paid to do, trying your damnedest to stay professional. This was hard, especially when you needed to lean in towards him, maybe four inches away from Steve’s face, tilting his chin up with your left hand to get the angle you needed to look at something or other. Of course, he wasn’t making it easy for you with how he kept catching your gaze the whole time with those sweet eyes of his. Part of you was a little pissed off- what gives him the right to do this? To make you all flustered with nothing but a look- but another part of you was maybe a little too excited at all of this.

A few minutes in the same room as him and you were already wrapped around his finger. Hell, you weren't in the slightest turned off when you caught him stealing glances down your shirt when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Weirdly, you found that kind of endearing, maybe even attractive. Those five minutes in the makeup trailer felt like an eternity and you breathed a sigh of relief as you stood up after you finished your job. Turning around, you went to zip up your case when you heard something behind you, “Hey, what’s your name, makeup lady?” Your heart jumped a little when he spoke up, his raspy voice barely above a whisper. You whipped around, nearly nose to nose with Steve as you avoided looking at him as much as you could, concealing your pink face, “My name’s Y/N.”

You couldn’t see it, but there was a little glint in Steve’s eye when he realized just how much he was affecting you. “Well,” His voice took on a slightly different tone, “I guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” And just like that, he was gone out the trailer door that he didn’t bother to close on his way out.

And you wished it ended there- that you could just be left alone with your silly schoolgirl crush on the cool movie star, but of course it didn’t. It couldn’t. Of all places, it happened in the white food tent around lunch time. You were going down the line of fold up tables, picking through what the catering services had brought in those silver aluminum pans- chicken, some vedgie thing, and some crinkle fries- when you heard someone call to you from a ways back, “Hey, makeup lady!” Assuming it was some production supervisor (they never seemed to respect you), you rolled your eyes, not even looking back as you replied, “I have a name, you know.”

“Oh yeah! Shit, what was it…Y/N!” Your heart sank when you realized who it was as they slipped in next to you in line. Steve seemed totally unphased, still as friendly as he was before but with a suggestive tone in his voice that made you shiver, “So, how’s your first day goin’? Everyone nice?” He didn’t take anything from the trays as he moved along, seemingly only there to talk to you, “If not, I’ll totally kick their ass.” You hoped Steve didn’t notice how much your hands were shaking as you nodded and smiled, hiding the warmth on your cheeks as you speed walked away with half a plate of food.

He wore that smug ass look on his face with pride as he sat down at the table with the guys like he just won the Super Bowl. Understandably, they were a little confused at his bravado. Johnny wasn't impressed, “What the hell was that?” Steve just grinned as he took a sip of his beer, shooting a glance over to where you were sitting with your back turned to not look conspicuous, “That chick’s in love with me. Watch.” Steve turned his head back and just as he did, you whipped around almost on command to try and catch a glimpse of him with that needy look in your eyes like a lost puppy. Unbelievable. Of course, all the guys besides Steve immediately turned towards you and made eye contact. Faced with this, you were a deer in the headlights, and quickly returned to your food.

Bam chuckled, a sly grin spreading across his lips, “Dude, if she’s got the hots for you that bad, you gotta get that ass!” He spoke as if he was some experienced playboy, but he had no clue. It’s not just about sex- there was a lot more to whatever it was that was going on between Steve and the makeup girl. When broken down, the two of you really wanted the exact same thing, the only difference was that she was too shy to admit it and he wasn’t. It evolved into a hunt- a cat and mouse game. This was more than getting ass. “Whatever, Bam.” Steve rolled his eyes. Ryan leaned to one side to get a better look at you, “Oh yeah- you gotta tap that.” Johnny cracked up at his bluntness and Pontius simply shoveled a bite of food into his mouth, flipping Steve a thumbs up.

You knew it was in violation of your contract but something you weren't proud of inside you compelled you to do it. On the lazy afternoons you weren't doing makeup but you were still on the clock, you found yourself snooping around the set in hope of getting a glimpse of Steve. It wasn't a tall order to blend in with the nameless PAs and set people, so you mostly went unnoticed, ducking behind corners and slipping into empty dressing rooms. Every time you saw Steve chatting with the guys with a beer in hand, or in the middle of a stunt if you were lucky, you had to hold yourself back from giggling like a teenage girl. However, it wasn't always that easy to get your fix.

This routine went on without any hiccups for about a week before a problem was presented. Filming was outside for a stunt involving the Three 6 Mafia, but the dense summer heat was pushed completely out of your mind as you peeked out from behind a white trailer. There, in front of all the cameras, was Dave, Bam, and Steve, filming some bit where Dave eats horse shit. All vomiting aside, the only thing you could see was how cute Steve looked in the little farmer’s outfit that the costume department whipped up. Sweat glistened on his skin under the midday sun as he took off his straw hat, using it to fan himself. It’s rare for a guy to be able to pull off the overalls no shirt look, but he certainly could. Damn.

But just as you were thinking about how you wouldnt mind shucking his corn, you accidentally made eye contact with Bam. Oh shit. There wasn't a way in hell that he didn’t see you. You hadn’t even noticed that you were steadily creeping out from your hiding place until you were far from the safety of the trailer wall, so, acting on prey animal instincts, you ducked behind the nearest object.

“Hmm?” It was only then that you noticed what you ducked behind was a man- Ryan, to be specific. God, if this could get any worse. Drink in hand, he just raised an eyebrow, looking down at the strange scene- you, crouching behind his foldy chair, “Makeup lady?” Oh, you were screwed. You could feel your fingers go numb as you panicked, your fight or flight instincts kicking in as you skirted away, your heart beating out of your chest. Ryan shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.

It was embarrassing how flustered you got around Steve but you just couldn’t help it. You had a lot of time to mull over it before you came into work the next day and it was apparent; something had to happen or else you were sure you would spontaneously combust. The tension was killing you, but there was no way he’d pay you any mind. Immagine a celebrity like him dating- hell, going on a date- with some makeup artist he met on set. Be reasonable, you thought, cleaning off your brushes idly.

Steve strutted into the makeup trailer, cool as ever, “Hey! How’s my favorite girl doin’?” Your knees felt a little weak under you at his words, holding yourself up with one hand on the back of the chair as he sat down. His favorite. No, no, he didn’t mean it like that. No way he would. “I’m, uh- I’m good, yeah.” You hardly noticed the smirk on his lips as you hurried to distract yourself, busying your hands with your brushes to still their nervous shaking. This was not what you needed this early in the morning.

Suddenly, time froze as you heard the hard thwack of your elbow against the side of Steve’s face. Your jaw fell and you stumbled over your words, hurriedly apologizing at your absentmindedness, “O-oh my god! I am so sorry- I can’t believe-“ He was still a little stunned, the mark on his face reddening, when you realized that you had instinctively reached out, gently touching the soreness on his perfect cheekbone out of concern without realizing what you were doing. It was like lightning shot through your fingertips, traveling up your arm, and your face said it all. Steve just smiled that cute, boyish smile, making eye contact for just a second longer than a person normally would, “Hey, it’s cool. I don’t mind.” You felt the tips of your ears get hot as he winked at you, “But hell, you of all people know how’t touch it up.”

Taking a deep breath, you pushed down all your nerves as you cleared your throat and tried to sound confident as you grabbed something to cover up your blunder, “I really liked your performance yesterday.” It was a vain attempt at small talk, sure, but it was something. He looked up at you, “Oh, did you?” There was a funny tone in Steve’s voice- sweet and kinda teasing- that gave you butterflies in your stomach and made you wonder if you were really as sneaky as you thought you were being, “What part did’y like? The puking or me shovin’ stuff in my ass?”

God, how he laughed when Steve saw how embarrassed you got. Stuttering a bit, you tried to come up with an explanation, but he just waved you off, “Ah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. But I mean, if you wanna watch sometime,” The euphemism wasn't lost on you and he could practically see the thoughts running through your head as he continued, “I could bring you to check out the set sometime.” All you could do was nod. Oh, he knew. And the worst part was he didn’t care.

Steve chuckled as you practically led him around the set. It was like you knew the place because, well, you did, but he pretended not to know about your little stalker activities. While you were busy, Jeff came up and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, dude. Rick needs you- something about that rake jump stunt.” And when you looked back from ogling some camera equipment, Steve was gone.

But from across the set, you met eyes with Chris who smiled at you with that dopey grin you’d seen so many times on tv. One week in and you were still getting starstruck. He walked over to you, striking up a conversation, “Hey, Y/N! You know what I heard?” Chris leaned in towards you like he was gonna tell you a secret, shooting a nod towards Steve as he was walking away, “I heard he’s awesome in bed. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard from the ladies.” You could tell that Chris saw this as a perfectly normal conversation topic, but you still got a little flustered, “O-oh, he is?” Chris nodded.

Sitting on camping chairs under one of those fold out tents you see at barbecues, Johnny and Bam watched from afar, cracking open cans of Miller High Life. Bam turned his head to one side like a dog, peering around Chris’ shoulder, “Looks like Pontius is tryin’t steal Steve’s girl.” Johnny chuckled, bringing his can to his lips, “Once he gets his claws in her there’s no way he’ll get her back. We oughta’ go interviene.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a blur of two men who you recognized as Johnny and Bam. Chris waved, “Oh, hey guys! We were just talking about how great Steve is in bed!” He gave Bam a nod, “Isn’t that right?” His eyes went wide for a second before he caught on, “Oh, yeah! He’s, uh- he’s great.” Johnny quirked an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses, “Have you slept with him, Bam?” It was like a Three Stooges bit as Bam rushed to cover his ass, putting his hands up, “No- no! I mean, I heard that he was good.”

“I mean, I’d get it from Chris, but I never expect that from you.” Ignoring Johnny’s teasing, he reached out a hand to you at the perfect time to formally introduce himself, “Hey, I’m Bam. I really like girls.” Eyes wide at all the action that was suddenly happening around you, you just nodded. You couldn’t decide if this was him hitting on you or not when you felt a protective hand on your shoulder as someone spoke from behind you, “Okay, guys. Get lost.” Jumping a little, you turned around and might as well have leapt ten feet off the ground. It was Steve. All the guys joked and dispersed as he spun you around, turning you to face him and that smile that always got to you, “They didn’t say anything bad about me, did they?” You fiddled with one of your nails, looking anywhere but his face as you joked back to try and ease the tension, “Oh, on the contrary!”

Steve smiled, leaning a little bit closer to you as the low tone of his voice slipped into nearly a whisper, “I’m gonna be honest with ya, Y/N. I really like ya.” The way that he could just go out there and say that with such confidence made you break a sweat, and you were practically glued to the ground you stood on as he nearly whispered into your ear, “Let’s get drinks sometime, yeah?” All you could do was nod in response.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #chris pontius #steve o #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #steve o x reader #I used to be INCREDIBLY shy irl so Y/N’s behavior is partially based off of me! hehe

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astoundingbeyondbelief · 7 months

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Kaiju Week in Review (February 11-17, 2024)

vimeo

Warner Bros. unfurled the second trailer for Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, which seems to be going over much better than the first. There are multiple glimpses of the ice Titan Shimo throughout, and an even briefer look at Mothra reflected in Jia's eye. (My favorite shot, of course, is Kong decking Skar King as he's holding out Suko like a wriggling shield.) The rough shots from trailer #1 still look rough, but at least the new footage is more impressive.

The new issue of Empire (how fitting) has a short article on GxK—the big revelation there is that Godzilla Evolved is pink simply because that's director Adam Wingard's favorite color. Collaborations are also popping up. Circle K is offering a movie-branded sandwich, chocolate bar, and Froster drinks/cups. Godzilla and a seriously wizened Kong are also entering the mobile game Lords Mobile.

I don't know much about Oscar politicking, but Takashi Yamazaki's strategy of bringing a model Godzilla with him everywhere he goes seems like a winner. Both appear in the "class photo" taken of all the nominees at the Oscar Nominees Luncheon. At the same event, Yamazaki and Godzilla met with Steven Spielberg, who told Yamazaki he had seen Godzilla Minus One three times. Posting their photo together on Twitter, Yamazaki said he had "met God."

Toho's English Godzilla YouTube channel also uploaded a six-minute video on Minus One's VFX, with a focus on the various ways the production was able to shave off costs. Officially translated behind-the-scenes featurettes for Toho Godzilla films are a rarity, a sign of how badly they want that little gold statue. It's worth watching just for Yamazaki scooting his chair around the office.

youtube

Shout! Factory's onslaught of old Toei tokusatsu films on its streaming service turned out to be a prelude to offering them all on disc. The Classic Tokusatsu Collection Blu-ray set includes Planet Prince (1959; called Prince of Space), Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961), Watari the Ninja Boy (1966), The Golden Bat (1966; called Golden Ninja), Magic Serpent (1966; called Dragon Showdown) , Ninja Scope (1969), and Terror Beneath the Sea (1966). None have ever been released on English-friendly Blu-ray before; some haven't even made it to DVD. The set is $70 and limited to 2,500 copies.

Major caveats seem to accompany every English-language release of vintage tokusatsu these days, and unfortunately this set's no exception. Despite the existence of English dubs for at least some of these films (two of them riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000), only Terror Beneath the Sea is dubbed; the rest are Japanese-only. And the dubbed Prince of Space well-known to MiSTies was actually an amalgamation of Toei's two Planet Prince films, only the first of which is present here. (Even the first film seems like it's going to be in upscaled standard-def, going off the streaming version.) No special features in the production description either, although one person who got the set early reports that at least one trailer is included (for Invasion of the Neptune Men).

IDW has announced still another Godzilla miniseries, Godzilla: Skate or Die. First-issue description:

It's Australian skater punks versus Varan and the King of the Monsters in this thrilling debut issue by writer/artist Louie Joyce (A Fistful of Pain)! Four years ago, four best friends and die-hard skaters found the perfect location for a DIY skatepark. After months of hard work, they created the world’s sickest spot that they could enjoy for the rest of their lives… That is, until the ferocious Varan appeared in the middle of central Australia and started making a beeline for their beloved park. Why is Varan on a rampage? Why did Godzilla just appear off the coast? What does their beloved skate spot have to do with this? And most importantly…what are these punks willing to do to save it?

Sounds like there's a lot of author appeal here, as Joyce is Australian and calls the tale "inspired by all the amazing DIY spots I've had the privilege of skating[.]" And a meaty role for Varan is a pleasant surprise.

Perhaps inspired by the success of Troll on Netflix, we've got another Scandinavia giant monster movie on the way. Kraken will be directed by Pal Oie (Dark Woods) from a script by Vilde Eide. No cast yet, but here are the plot details divulged by The Hollywood Reporter:

[T]he thriller will follow Johanne, a marine biologist who encounters several strange occurrences while researching a fjord, including the brutal deaths of two local teenagers. “At the bottom of Norway’s deepest fjord rests a mythical monster as large as a mountain, with a myriad of arms ready to crush and devour anything they can grab,” the film’s synopsis reads.

Krakens are certainly having a moment in giant monster stories right now, between Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken and the three that somehow wound up connected to the Monsterverse. (To wit: Na Kika was originally called Kraken, the unnamed antagonist of Skull Island bore the same name internally, and the guardian of Atlantis in the Justice League crossover comic is a Kraken as well.) This seems like a more back-to-basics approach.

#godzilla x kong the new empire #godzilla #king kong #shimo #skar king #kraken #godzilla skate or die #godzilla minus one #shout factory

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piracytheorist · 11 months

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Episode 29 thoughts

I made some passionate statements about the first part. Now it's time for a bit of analysis.

So I had seen the trailer where Anya looks sad after having failed her tests and it kind of struck me how she reached the point of crying alone in her room. And well, now I know it was because she was scared of being separated from Becky.

And because I can't keep my mouth shut about this, one of the reasons Anya's friendship with Becky helps her - probably without her realizing it - is that she has someone to back her up when Damian and co. bully her. Becky is always on her side and losing that could cause her severe stress. Sure, they'll still be in the same school, but when your school environment is so toxic and also demanding, losing the constant presence of a friend in the class can be devastating. Trust me, I know of toxic environments in class, and I know of not having someone to back you up. I don't call Damian a bully just to spite fans.

At the end, Damian, despite willingly choosing to let Anya win, he inwardly accuses her of manipulating his feelings - when in fact Anya was simply terrified of losing Becky as a classmate, and that's why she cried. He's still not ready to confront his feelings. He showed sympathy to Anya and then told himself that she manipulated him into that. It shows that he has potential but in no way does it justify the way he makes fun of her - as well as practically encourage Ewen and Emile to jump in on the bullying.

Anyway. Tests go bad, and Anya despairs that she'll be separated from Becky. Becky however, continues believing in Anya. I wonder if Becky would ever consider purposefully flunking her tests so that she can stay as Anya's classmate. She's not doing that well in the friends department either.

Twilight notices her achievements in ancient language (jesus what are they teaching those kids) and is surprised, searching for a reasonable explanation.

We are reminded that he doesn't know anything about her past, can only speculate about it, and decides that since he doesn't have the full info there is no point to do that. The dutiful spy regaining control after the still-in-development paternal feelings got him trying to make sense of his daughter's mind?

Despite her failing scores, Loid still announces to her he made her favourite dish, which instantly fixes her mood.

I think, when in the first episode Anya heard Twilight's thought about how he wants a world where children don't cry, it gave her the impression that he would provide her with an emotionally safe environment - something that was solidified when he was ready to punch Swan for making her cry. Even if she doesn't realize it fully due to her young age, she chose to stay with him and do her best to get into Eden because she trusted that in his heart, he truly wants her to be happy.

So one could argue that Anya is very lucky that despite the levels of Twilight's emotional constipation, he really has the heart to comfort her after she's had a bad day. But it's not really a matter of luck, when she chose to stay with him after she saw what he hides beneath all the spy front, is it?

Warning for blood under the cut.

I gotta say, the transition to the second part was way too jarring. Since the last sight of the first part was a background, the second part should have slid in with another background - like for example, the busy city around Franky's kiosk.

I feel like an idiot, having spoken about the Cyrillic sentences in the previous episode, and now we get this.

I... What even are some of those. Why so many alphabets. Where are those even from and what do they have to do with the Ostanian culture. Does anything make sense anymore. What is life.

Anyway. Anime-onlys are finally introduced to the name Garden and What. The. Fuck.

This image isn't in the manga. I think it's the first time the anime shows more violence than the respective manga chapter, lol. Where did they even get that much blood and how did they get it so high on the wall? Asking the real questions here.

"They eliminate one traitor after another on the shadow government's orders."

That is extremely interesting! Shadow government? Employing an independent assassin group to clean out their traitors?

... Traitors, a group which would include Twilight and Franky?

Franky immediately describes someone fitting Yor's fighting abilities and Twilight is like "No such thing!" shaking his head even. The denial runs deep already, lmao.

Honestly, a bit of a shame we were robbed of Twilight's face as he walked away.

"This isn't worth any intel you might promise me."

Franky puts his skills and connections to use and it was cool to see him in his natural environment, being so smooth and certain in searching around for information.

The part of Franky working with Yor could be summarized with "expert meets expert but they're both such idiots they do not immediately suspect each other". Like Yor I understand being naive and so trusting she sees all those contraptions Franky creates and immediately believes he's all legal about his business. Now how Franky saw her demolish his decade-old work and was like "I shall not question this" beats me. Guess he was also lovestruck for that Kacey woman, and like Loid, he sees a clear spectacle of extraordinary physical strength and goes like "Everyday occurrence. I'm just sad my invention is gone."

That cat is traumatized for life.

Yor's coworkers are... a bunch. We got some sympathetic moments from Camilla in episode 16 but she's still the mean girl type in the office. Yor's naivete truly protects her sometimes from having her feelings hurt, doesn't it?

I think this will play a role in identity reveals. When it comes to everyday civilians, Yor sees the best in them and assumes they have the best intentions. When she kills, she considers her victims bastards and traitors. Right now, Yor has an amazing impression of Loid... how will that flip when she finds out about all the lies he's told and all the ways he's been using her and Anya?

The change in her expression though, when she realizes she's getting a call from Shopkeeper!

I wonder what client was so important that he had to call her in the middle of her workday. Hopefully the plot kicks off from the next episode and this thirsty anime-only shall find out!

#Spy x Family #sxf reaction

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colorful-white-ideas · 5 months

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Bill did promote BKW and we didn't notice it?

I know I've been very critical of Bill lately because of the last marketing fiasco of the Boy Kills world promotion. But one anon brought to my attention something that made me think in some coincidentical events of last year that now make sense. Have time? This is looooong

Anon said "Now that I know that he initially did the voice over as shown at TIFF and he got replaced, maybe that played a part into his lack of promotion, especially as the lead "

2023

- July 22 : Bill is spotted attending a UFC match in London.

- July 23: the BKW trailer comes to light, the famous " Cannes trailer". Someone found it and shared it with the world. Don't ask me who I just remember it was everywhere suddenly I even made a post about it too. Now (2024) is no longer up on that page. In that trailer the boy inner voice was different from the one we have now.

- The bobbysill IG acc caught our attention again after days of speculation if it was Bill's or not . Bob uploaded this :

*Willemandersson is Bill's friend.

-July 24: this same acc had a mental breakdance after someone went to the BKW producers to complain about someone "leaking" pictures of the movie without an official release of the trailer , calling it a hoax and bla bla ( sadly I don't have screenshots of those negatives comments but the pic of Boy is later erased) Bob starts posting a couple of pics that no one has ever seen before and that are absolutely Bill related:

Now let's jump in time.

August 3 The Toronto international film festival announces BKW premiere for sep 9

Sep 2 Bill is seen attending one again a UFC match in Paris .

Sep 9 The day of the premiere in Canada. Bill went to another UFC event , this time in Uppsala.

Coincidence?

Isn't curious that every time something big about BKW was out or about to happen ,Bill , let himself be seen in a UFC match ? It is very well known that he loves those sports, so I don't think these were the first or only times he attended a public UFC event.

Which is more important: the images we saw of him among the public didn't come from fans around him but from the official media present at the event. They were not accidental sightings, he wanted people to see him there. He knows how to hide , he could have gone and refused to be acknowledged in the public but he smiled and played along with the media there.

In 2023 the SAG AFTRA strike paralyzed the industry, no one could really promote upcoming projects without being accused of going against the strike. Maybe this was his way to promote the material, also for what we see now of the BTS shots , he had a really good time filming. I bet he was so excited about this movie he literally couldn't wait to start showing off what he was able to do.

After all HE and his team reached out to the crew asking to audition for the movie. You can look it up. So this movie wasn't just a cash grab for him HE WANTED to be part of it.

But something happened cause that enthusiasm was non-existent this year.

The first critics to the movie at the TIFF were 50/50. Not very impressive.

2024 it is announced that the inner voice now will be done by H. Jon Benjamin. The original voice was replaced just months before the world premiere.

There is a trailer going around with a voice that pretty much sounds like Bill and if it's really his I can hear he put a lot of effort to give the character an identity that went beyond than just the goofy one the director wanted as the final product.

( * personal note I like both results )

Maybe anon is in some way right after all ? Maybe Bill agreed on erasing his voice but as an exchange decided to not use his actual voice to promote it.

A tantrum ? Yes absolutely. But also if you think about it maybe he saw it like they didn't take him seriously, his whole effort was not appreciated so along with the production team decided to "stay in character" and not talk about Boy. Others could do it for him.

****PLEASE do not take this as proof of anything, it's just speculation I did on my way home from my job.

He by all means could be just a diva who just didn't want to be part of the fuss of this premiere and that's it. Only the crew and him know what really happened. ****

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #boy kills world

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the-sky-queen · 8 months

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I WAS ABLE TO WATCH PRIME SEASON 3 EPISODE 2 AND I AM SCREAMING!!!!!

Thoughts and spoilers under the cut :D

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So, I gotta talk about the Grim Birdies first. They are really cool and super powerful! Like they are just epic. Their screams are haunting, but i wish they had more than two. It gets a little annoying to have to listen to the same two sound effects over and over again. But I really like the main one who got her face crushed. I kept looking at her in the trailers and seeing that little 'scar' she has and wondering how she got it, and now I know! Yay!

Next, OH MY GOODNESS THEY WASTED NO TIME GETTING EVERYONE TO TEAM UP. I wish they spend a little more time on everyone's reaction to each other, rather than just having the two Bigs look at each other, but it's fine. THE ROSE TRIPLETS HAVE UNITED AND I LOVE IT. I noticed how when they were all saying what they were gonna do when this is over, Thorn said jungle, Black said adventuring, but Rusty didn't say anything, which I hope means she's gonna go back to No Place. Whatever happens to her, I'm putting her in No Place for With Great Power Comes because I can't bring myself to separate Rusty from Black. They're too perfect. :)

Let's see, uhhhhhhh oh yeah! So, Nine being a giant floating head is kinda silly. Like yeah, it makes total sense, but just not being able to see what the rest of his body is doing leads to some awkward bits. I kinda wish they just didn't make him able to do this? I was imagining Nine only getting info from his bots and like, making it so we don't see him as much can help build some suspense for the finale, you know? Not showing your villain can do WONDERS for the story and the fear factor. Take Sauron from lotr for example. We barely see him throughout the trilogy, but we FEEL his presence in every single movie. If he was shown more, his fear factor would decrease. He would become less impressive. So, yeah, I don't think Nine should be a floating head, but that's just me. I hope he won't feel the need to pop up constantly in the coming episodes.

And of course, CAN WE TALK ABOUT SONIC??????? So, it looks like one of my original predictions was semi right in a way. Sonic's going to be losing his energy gradually over the course of the season. GOODNESS JUST. THE WAY HE STUMBLED OUT OF THE ROOM. BOY YOU ARE NOT OKAY. YOU BETTER NOT JUMP RIGHT BACK INTO THE ACTION NEXT EPISODE. SIT DOWN. TAKE A NAP. IT'S NOT GOING TO FIX THINGS BUT IT MIGHT HELP A LITTLE BIT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh yeah! And also MANGEY IS THE CUTEST LITTLE BOY EVER. During that one scene where they were talking about Nine I think he was slinking out of the room because he felt bad for being connected to Nine and I was like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT LO AND BEHOLD, HE'S ALSO STILL A GENIUS EVEN THOUGH HE'S A FERAL BOY AND I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. Mangey also seems to be sticking close to Sonic and I love that. He's filling in for Tails. :( aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Also, where is Shadow?????????????????? We're seriously not checking back in on him????? aaaaaaaaaaaaaa Boy really is doing that one Undertale AU down there. (says the girl who has no knowledge of Undertale besides the comics for said AU)

And to end it off, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy did you leave the rest of the Kraken crew in No Place???????? Did you think you'd be coming back?????????????? There's no way you thought that, the entire world is falling apart. Come on guys, we're in the final showdown, the time for dumb mistakes is over.

Let's see . . . I think that's all my thoughts. Still not big on the council, but I don't think anyone is. (I kid you not, I was begging Grim Birdy to tear Babble's mech open and kidnap him so we don't have to listen to him for a few episodes. Alas. Not so.)

So, that's everything! YOU GUYS CAN TALK WITH ME ABOUT MY PREDICTIONS AND SUCH BUT PLEASE NO SPOILERS.

#i didn't really proofread this so lets hope i spelled everything right #NOW TO GO BACK TO SCREAMING AS I WAIT TO WATCH EVERYTHING ELSE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #Sky Queen #analysis #Sonic Prime #Sonic Prime spoilers #Sonic Prime Season 3 #Sonic cast

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moonlight-tmd · 10 months

Note

Can you write more on the mob family a.u but focused on Prowlbee?

To be honest it's one of those prompt ideas that don't click with me well so there's little info on that, but i can try. [anker post]

Prowl was impressed with Bee's abilities since they met- the scout was discreet, he planned ahead and took note of every advantage he had and used it. On top of the impressive skillset, he was adorable- cute and deadly one might say.

They get together and i will say it's about a year of them dating when Bugshot shows up and abducts Bee. They are left wonderign where the fuck Bee went until they get an unregistered Spark Signature on their radar along with Bee's. So they go check it out and are forced to into a chase with a black and yellow old school camaro with a closed-off trailer. So in a chase they get bumby and only then they see Bee, cuffed and gagged, nearly falling out of said trailer. At one point they get into a crash and Bugshot grabs Bee, points a blaster to his helm and tells them to frag off. And to their surprise they learn that the fucked up bot that is trying to murder Bee rn is his own Sire.

"You wouldn't kill your own Sparkling!!" Prowl protested, his own Spark trembling in its casing.

"Try me." Was all Bugshot said with the coldest and most Sparkless expression they ever seen.

They take advantage when Bugshot focuses his attention on Bee for a nanoklik to tell him to stop crying. Bugshot has to flee cuz he is outnumbered. Bee is so scared he is unable to talk until they go back to base. Ratchet kept him in medbay for the night cuz apparently his SIre has stuffed him with stasis-inducing chemicals.

The next day is when he is really questioned. Although it's just Optimus with him, he doesn't want to pressure Bee with others in the room. So Bee tells him the bare minimum he needs to knows, he refrains from telling OP about more personal stuff like how he was treated or where he was and did. Only that this was his Sire, he was forced to commit crimes and that he run away. Also that Bugshot wanted him dead cuz he knows too much.

Optimus is torn in what to do- one one hand this is a serious case that needs to get to Elite Guard for proper action. At the same time he doesn't want to tell the Elite Guard cuz they will take Bee away and put him somewhere no one can find him, and Bee obviously wants to stay with them cuz he feels safe here.

Prowl is very much stressed out- first Bee is kidnapped and then it turns out it was his Sire who's a boss of an underground mafia and THEN HE TRIED TO KILL HIM- yes, Prowl is very stressed out and scared. He sneaks into medbay when Bee was being held there and had a talk with him. Despite the scout feeling iffy from all the drugs he managed to push himself to answer few of Prowl's questions; that he was a former criminal, that he was suffering as a Sparkling and that he never wanted such life so he ran away. He was sure that Prowl would become sceptical of him but instead was met with a surprise of him promising to stay by his side no matter what.

Bee is scared to recharge with Prowl cuz the ninjabot has a room with uncovered entrance smack-dab in the middle on his room- so instead Prowl recharges with Bee every night in his room.

Now it's the 'idea flops dead' moment- idk what to do.

Most likely Team Prime manages to be heroes and catches Bugshot, they lie to Elite Guard that he wanted to steal the Allspark and he is taken captive- but of course he breaks loose just before they reach the prison on Cybertron and he is again missing without a trace. The Earth is being watched by an additional E.G. ship so that no more unwanted guests arrive to bother them.

As for Bee and Prowl, while they are concerned about Bugshot coming back they try not to focus on it and live their lives. However Bee feels this unfairness towards Prowl for not telling him some very important things- one day when Bee was keeping himself secluded on purpose and Prowl tried to talk to him- "My family had hired hitbots many times, Lockdown included... There was always a list of targets to be eliminated. Before i ran away i noticed that list and... one of the names there was "Yoketron"." Bee confessed, his family eliminated everyone who could potentially endanger them. His Sire hired Lockdown to offline Yoketron- Prowl's Sire-figure, for that very reason.

He didn't say anything else, he just left Prowl and locked himself in his room for the time being while his sparkmate tried his best to get him to explain further. Prowl was left to figure this out on his own for the night. In the end Prowl firmly stated that Bee is nothing like Bugshot and will love him no matter what.

On the side-note; Bee might teach Prowl few tricks from his criminal life just in case. You never know when you find yourself in danger with no advantages whatsoever.

And that's it. Nothing more to tell. Hope you are happy.

#maccadam #tfa #ask box #prowlbee

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pdalicedraws · 2 years

Photo

I have both ‘significant time skip’ and ‘character redesigns’ on my bingo sheet, and realized that with the new ep coming out on Saturday it’s my last chance to take my own swing at what those designs could be! So here’s a shot at the gang, six months later, and some headcanons.

(Yes, I know there’s a trailer and promo images out, and this might all already have been jossed, but don’t tell me so. I’m a liveblogger so I’ve been avoiding spoilers like the plague; I did briefly see the poster but all I saw was “spooky graveyard vibes and Luz is wearing a beanie”.)

Gus is not coping well and is trying to hide it. He knows about Grimwalkers and hasn’t told Hunter he knows— he’s not even sure Hunter knows— so he’s been holding that in, he’s the youngest, and he misses his dad, plus he feels guilty about everything from ‘I always wanted to go to the human realm so it’s somehow my fault we’re stuck here’ to ‘I cast the illusion that let Luz sneak out to the Head’. He’s had another growth spurt and become an absolute beanpole, and he also has a bunch of patchy facial hair starting to come in but he hides it with an illusion because he does not want to learn to shave from anyone but his dad.

Hunter also had a massive growth spurt, but instead of regular Witch Puberty it’s just because he can actually digest the food here. He shot up and filled out and dyed a red streak into his hair with Amity’s semi-grudging help. He still cuts the underside short but has let the top grow out a bit, and wears it in a little topknot; he won’t admit why but everybody knows. He insisted on getting a part-time job, but he can’t have Flapjack with him on the clock so he wears one of their shed feathers. He likes wearing tight clothes, which is mostly genuine and because the pressure helps keep his scars from aching, but there’s also a little bit of the fact that he and Gus both had growth spurts and Camila doesn’t have a ton of money for new clothes. On the outside, it seems like he’s coping the best out of the group, but it’s pretty much just because his big brother instinct and guard training kicked in at the same time and he’s suppressing his own emotions for the sake of looking after everybody else. Eventually he’s going to crash.

Luz is… a disaster. Girl already blames herself for everything, and at this point? Hell. She feels like she’s failing the only friends she has because they’re having trouble acclimating to the human realm, she’s terrified that Eda and King might be dead, that the whole isles might be destroyed, and because she’s her she’s pretty sure it’s all her fault. Her glyphs don’t work here, she’s remembering just how out of place she was at home, she’s watching her basilisk baby sister get along with humans better than she ever did, and it’s… rough. She’s putting all her energy into trying to find a way home. Well, the one other constructive thing she’s doing is that she’s picked up the clarinet again, which she used to play in sixth grade— she’s determined to be able to play something for Raine when they meet again. Which they definitely will. Eventually. She’s the only one of the group who hasn’t let her hair grow out longer, which wasn’t planned, I just gave everyone else longer hair bc I’m salty about the omnipresence of ‘cut off a characters hair to show she’s Matured’

Amity is handling it. She’s okay. Well, she’s okay as could be expected, which isn’t really okay. She’s worried about Luz, she’s trying to make a good impression on Camila (she’s not really aware that she made a fantastic impression on the first day— not with her careful, heels-together, carefully rehearsed introduction in Spanish, though that was adorable, but with the moment she doesn’t know Camila saw when she was sitting with Luz, holding her hands in hers, whispering to her that she did everything right and they’d make it in the end). She’s studying up on all the human realm trivia she can find— they recognize her at the library— helping Camila with the house, being there for Luz, trying to be helpful in every way she possibly can. She’s been carefully maintaining her lilac hair with her natural brown underlayer, and she’s been helping Hunter and Willow with their streaks too. It makes her feel like she’s succeeding at something.

Willow is being crushed on by every wlw in the greater Gravesfield area who doesn’t already have a partner, and she has no idea. That’s not relevant, though. She’s trying to be the strategizer and team leader, she’s trying to be mom friend, she’s trying to grow enough produce out behind the house to relieve Camila’s grocery bill, she’s trying to let Gus stop pretending he’s fine, she’s trying to keep it together. Hunter still calls her Captain, and it’s wonderful because it’s a sign of how much faith he has in her but it’s also a lot of pressure. She quickly learnt how to play human soccer and drags the others out for a kickabout every weekend in order to keep them all active, and because she remembers something Viney said once about endorphins. She’s been keeping a meticulous journal for the sake of telling her dads everything that’s happened, when she eventually sees them again.

Vee is conflicted and feels bad about being conflicted. She genuinely adores Luz, she knows she’s such a good person, she’s so grateful for all her help, but she also fears that her return means that her space in the world is disappearing again. She’s changed her human appearance up a little— made her skin a touch darker, closer to Camila’s, given herself her spots back, made her hair the same blue as her ear frills in her true form. She’s also getting steadily femme-r as she differentiates herself from Luz, and has been watching a lot of 90s horror and getting style cues from the final girls. She spun a convoluted yarn to her friends about having been Parent Trapped as a wee child, raised by her and Luz’s crazy great-uncle, and taking her place at camp when she ran away to hang out with a friend out of state; they don’t believe a word of it but they don’t suspect the truth either, and if it turns out their friend is actually named Valentina, not Luz? They’re cool with that. Her sister’s fun too, but Vee is cooler.

#the owl house #owl house #toh fanart #gus porter #hunter toh #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #vee noceda #pd alice draws

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mliter · 4 months

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Persona 3 Reload.

This is a remake of the 2006 classic. I played it way back then... But don't remember much. I don't think i played it right too.

Did you know? This was revealed accidentally through an altus moment. Somebody on the social team accidentally posted the trailer on instagram early. That verbal lashing was probably inhumane.

You're back in the shoes of Persona 3's iconic protagonist, navigating a refreshed world harboring a dark secret. Almost everything's the same, but some things are different, and some things are new.

For one, the voice cast. The main stars of the show have returned, with new voices. A lot of people with ties to the original game weren't too happy with these choices (i dont think theyd be happy with any lol) but i really like them. Aleks Le, Alejandro Saab, Allegra Clark and Zeno Robinson stuck out to me the most. My god did Zeno put on a GENERATIONAL performance as Junpei. He breathed new life into the character. I can't imagine anyone else voicing him now.

I recognize Allegra Clark from three houses. She did a good job as Mitsuru. Alejando Saab's take on Akihiko was not what most were expecting. With the time i've spent with the character, i think it's perfect. Aleks is on a special run right now. he killed it as Makoto.

Still on the topic of voice actors, many of the original voice cast actually are still involved in this project. They've returned to voice some of the adult characters.

This is a really cool show of respect to the first voice cast imo. There's something a bit poetic about this. But i can't really put it into words properly. Someone better at this kind of thing could do so.

This is a remake. And by god it's a good example of one. Everything's been remade from the ground up to today's standards. The UI is AMAZING. It consistently impressed me up until the final act. Atlus has convinced me that good UI is an art, and they have all the masters in their studio. The environments, the character portraits, the music, the everything. The PS2 version looks cute in comparison.

Something that seems to be lost in production is the more somber and relaxed color schemes that the environments had in some of the overworlds. A lot of people didn't like this, but i did. The brighter color schemes used in the school really helped to sell that seaside setting that the school is located in far better than the original. Have you ever been to a (good looking) sea? They did a good job conveying the look.

No longer limited by technology, the environments are far more lively. People that don't really get in your way litter the school hallways, Paulownia Mall is packed and the stations are full with activity.

Battles got a huge overhaul, with a banger new battle theme. Alongside party members getting fundamental changes, the entire cast got brand new battle uniforms. I guess going through all of what they were going through in just their school uniforms seemed a bit too much. All of them were designed to their strengths and personality. (Why give junpei a jacket if he's just gonna tie it around his waist...?) They're really good. And it's a solid upgrade that puts them in league with the phantom thieves's looks with me.

to boot, a new ability came with these uniforms. Theurgy. In game, it's explained as a special cartridge that the gang can load into their evokers when ready. They're pretty much fusion spells. Everyone gets one, and they all have their own animations that play when used. Persona 5's baton pass also makes a return, now known as "shifting". I made some great plays off of it.

The story's the same, told through a new look, new console and new voices. It's just as good now as it was back then. The message still remains. I'm glad this was on game pass. I had fun going back to Tatsumi Port Island, seeing these faces again. My favorite bit of the game was the november school trip.

#persona #best of 2024 #game log

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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Okay, fucking hell. I have been looking forward to the start of season 15 for so long, and when it finally happened, I got delayed even longer. Missed it the night it happened because I had to go out and live in the real world, then the next day I got really busy with work, then had to go five hours out of town and get no sleep in a terrible hotel room before spending yesterday yelling at some teenagers while they fought other teenagers, then got home today and had to do more work stuff. Now, finally, on Sunday evening, I get to do the thing I’ve really wanted to do for several days now, which is sit down and watch this fucking Taskmaster episode that aired on Thursday.

At long last, here are my thoughts on Taskmaster s15e01, written as I watch it:

- If you take into account Alex Horne’s fame for giving very memorable performances in Dictionary Corner of Catsdown, as well as impressive performances as a proper contestant on the real Countdown, this might be the best of all the “Greg gives Alex an insulting nickname” jokes they’ve ever done, thrown in as one of the very first lines in this season.

- Oh good, I have no good reason for this but I enjoy the prize tasks with a size or weight stipulation. I just think it’s funny to see the wildly different directions people can go with things that are about the same size.

- Well, this show promised us Frankie Boyle being a human being for once, and here he is bringing his kids into it in the first thing he says. And then having a delightful little exchange where he calls Greg creepy for wanting a painting of him in his house. Lovely, no notes.

- Okay, when the trailer came out recently and spoiled the fact that Frankie and Ivo are the team of two, I said that’s great, because I know this might not say anything great about me, but I do find the “one contestant being terrified of another” dynamic hilarious, when it happens on Taskmaster. Dara O’Briain and John Kearns played it to perfection last season, and if anything could match that, it would be Frankie Boyle getting paired with a younger, skittish, susceptible-to-pressure Englishman who’s built a career on talking about how posh he is. My hopes for this were only buoyed when Frankie’s interview came out, and it turns out that after filming the tasks (including team tasks) but before filming the studio stuff, his answer to “Who’s your biggest rival?” was “Everyone except Ivo.” Ivo’s interview came out just today, and his answer to that question was to stammer slightly while saying “Frankie”.

I almost feel bad for expressing how funny I find the idea of this dynamic, because it’s not a good thing. Disclaimer: I think schoolyard bullying in real life is very bad. And I suppose there’s some level it can reach on panel shows, after which it would stop being funny. I’ve seen a few examples, across many years of television, of panel show bullying going so far that it’s not funny anymore. But I do tend to find it really funny until it reaches that level.

I give all the background because Frankie was the first person to present his prize, and Ivo had to go second. While this happened, I though Ivo looked and sounded a bit terrified, possibly just from having to explain something with Frankie Boyle looming over him.

But then I thought, okay, I’ve made so many assumptions about that dynamic before the season even started, that I’m projecting them onto what is clearly just a completely normal prize task description. He might sound slightly stilted, but there’s no need to imagine that he’s noticeably bothered by anything this early in the season.

But then Greg cut him off mid-sentence to ask:

And then they all stopped to acknowledge how weird it was that Ivo Graham sounded unnecessarily terrified, and then he immediately got bullied by Frankie Boyle, saying he sounds like he’s playing a game where he can’t say certain words. I’m not imagining it, everyone! Team Franko (just coined that one, will be using it any time I reference them in any post I make this season, add it to the list of Taskmaster teams with convenient portmanteaus, like Vicotrialan and Morguziree) is going to be fun. I’m sorry, I really do like Ivo Graham, but I kind of want to see him get crushed. To be fair, I think he’d be the first to admit that part of his appeal as a comedian is it’s funny to watch him get crushed.

- I haven’t gotten to the scoring yet, but Jenny got robbed in that chat, eggs are dependable as hell. Quick, easy, convenient, good for you, cheap, last longer than most things that aren’t processed food. Solid prize. Also, Jenny Eclair’s the one I know the least about, but I immediately like her energy. Based on the few YouTube clips of her I’ve seen, I predicted her Taskmaster persona might be Jo Brand’s level of giving a shit with Rob Beckett’s level of energy. So far, we’re on track for that to be true.

- Took this screenshot entirely because this joke of Alex’s seemed to unnoticed by the audience, and it deserved more.

- So, based on only his prize task presentation, I’m getting that Kiell is going with “wildly enthusiastic, going ironically over the top in selling himself” energy. Making me think of Guy Williams from Taskmaster NZ a bit. I like it.

- Slightly weird to see Mae Maritn introduce a prize task so soon after watching their new stand-up special, as their enthusiastic prize task selling persona is very similar to their stand-up persona. And to their self-insert sitcom character. Basically, I’m pretty sure this is just the actual Mae Martin we get every time. And it’s absolutely captivating. I promise I will try not to mention how incredibly attractive they are too many times before this season is over.

- Oh, I wrote the above point before seeing Mae’s actual prize, and I need to come back and say they nailed that one. 1) A full English breakfast is awesome. 2) Bringing in that kind of food plays perfectly to Greg’s tastes, the mark of a student of the game. 3) Perfectly fits the remit. A breakfast like that can get you ready for anything - dependable. And I love that they bothered to specifically make it a kilo. I mean, I assume all Mae actually did was tell the producers to measure out a kilo, they weren’t putting food on scales themself. But still. I admire the commitment of saying they want to follow the instructions perfectly. That is how you do a prize task.

- Alex calling Ivo out in the moment for not getting the remit right, letting them all make fun of him for that, and then casually mentioning at the end that Frankie was also way off - very funny. Also, Frankie Boyle got overscored pretty hard there, as a painting of himself on a horse is neither one kilo nor dependable. Should have been an easy one point. But I get it, Greg. It’s Frankie Boyle. The inherently interesting nature of the enigmatic character-within-a-character Frankie Boyle being weirdly human does feel like it should be rewarded with points, though if we keep seeing things that way he’ll win every task all season.

- Well, Kiell wins the Fun Outfit Award this season.

Jenny wearing something that could be a costume but could also just be how she dresses. Frankie dressing down, because he’s insufficiently jolly for costumes. Ivo turning up in what looks like a school gym class uniform, because otherwise he might not give off a strong enough vibe of “student who’s bad at sports getting bullied during gym class”. And Mae wins the award for “Jesus, it’s only a track suit, how can I think someone’s clothing choice makes them look so attractive when all they’ve done is put on a track suit?”

- Oh yeah. The joke about it being funny that Frankie Boyle is so far out of his element is going to take a while to get old. It might get old at some point, but that one has some mileage in it.

- Does the music playing in the background while they discuss their choreography remind anyone else of the But I’m a Cheerleader soundtrack?

- Alex mentioned that he’s had proposals and stag dos on Taskmaster before. He’s also choreographed dances before, circa season 4. To ringtones, that time.

- Jenny Eclair threatening to infect Alex with trench vagina on their wedding night is definitely backing up the idea of her having Jo Brand vibes. But she did say it with the enthusiasm of Rob Beckett.

- Ah, I see, dancing with no music. That makes sense - I did wonder why it said they could use any music, as surely only some stuff will be cleared in terms of copyright, not to mention Chanel 4 content regulations. But I guess you can play anything if you don’t actually play it. Similarly, ringtones are presumably not expensive to put on TV. They should keep having “choreograph a dance” tasks in each season, finding increasingly elaborate ways to avoid paying for music.

- Have now watched Kiell’s dance, and can say: Yep, they’re correct. I assume they created this entire task to prove the point that dancing looks funny with no music playing, and yep, turns out they’ve successfully proved that hypothesis. Dancing does, in fact, look funny with no music playing. Well done, Alex.

- Obviously Frankie Boyle chose an American hip-hop song from 2005, about socioeconomic mobility in a racist capitalist system. Obviously. It’s almost a relief, it would be too weird to watch him go completely out of character, all at once.

- I mean... it’s still pretty out of character.

I’ve seen a lot of sides to Frankie Boyle, from Mock the Week to New World Order, from his stand-up to his Guardian columns, his novel that had a little bit of everything. That’s a new one, though. Apparently he’s not always insufficiently jolly for costumes.

- Another comparison for Jenny Eclair: her dance reminds me of Mel Giedroyc’s from season 4. Also, best one so far in terms of making it fun to try to guess what on Earth the music is. And learning the answer makes it funnier.

- Ivo not doing a lot to dispel my theory that he’s going to spend this whole season like a gym class student who’s bad at gym class.

- Ivo revealing that he picked one of Greg’s favourite bands and put a reference to another one of their songs on stage as well, like a student desperately sucking up to the teacher - also not dispelling the theory. Why does it come off as desperate when Ivo plays into Greg’s hands but savvy when Mae does it? I don’t know, something about the public personas they have both carefully curated over many years.

- Oh, Mae Martin is not fucking around. They actually choreographed that. Picked music that would actually be appropriate for a wedding. Put effort into doing it and visibly winced when it went wrong. Mae Martin is here to be competitive and I am so pleased about that.

What an exciting matchup! Which of Charlotte Ritchie’s husbands would be able to give her the best wedding dance?

- Yeah, fair enough. I fully agreed with the scoring on that whole task.

Okay, I think the winner of this season (assuming it’s one of these two... and that is looking likely, based on how things have started) should get to actually marry Charlotte Ritchie. Those would be good stakes.

- Oh, I immediately like the premise of this next task. Reward and punish based on arbitrary adherence, or lack thereof, to basic social etiquette. Leave them wondering whether to follow the etiquette or not, before and after knowing the premise. I like any task where we get to watch the premise slowly dawn on someone, and then watch them work out what to do about that in real time:

- 1) Watching Frankie Boyle unroll a ball of string while giggling like a child and batting at it like a cat is delightful.

2) I haven’t seen whatever they’re building up to yet, just paused it after Alex asked him if he’s happy. They’re going to have to roll it back up, aren’t they? Frankie won’t see it, because he’s not paying enough attention.

- Okay... so the back of the task negates the front? But if they’re contradictory instructions, can’t they argue that following either one should be as good as following the other?

I mean, fair enough, Frankie.

- Oh, title drop from Ivo. Who’s keeping stats on these things? Someone should be keeping track.

- Ivo looking for another ball of string in the house: student of the game move. That is a man who’s watched all his friends do this show over the last few years, and has memorized ideas for the sort of thing to expect. I bet there is one somewhere.

- Alex Horne: Do you think a Canadian will trust an Englishman?

Frankie Boyle: Shouldn’t do.

Me: Thank you, Frankie. I’ll keep your sage advice in mind if I ever manage to save up enough money to visit the UK.

- Mae Martin throwing the string around with abandon is... I mean. I’m trying to not just comment all the time on how attractive they are. Why is throwing string around something that makes that especially difficult? It’s something about the determination and breathless enthusiasm. This might be the biggest crush I’ve ever had on a Taskmaster contestant, despite there being some very significant competition in that field.

- It’s early in the season for this level of betrayal, really.

- Ooh, credit to Jenny for that workaround. I didn’t think of that idea at all.

- And Mae found it! This is another thing seeing up a Mae/Ivo dynamic, in which they both similarly care about winning, but Ivo holds back and Mae commits harder so is better at it (which is how Mae sucking up to Greg comes off as calculated, while Ivo doing it comes off as desperate). I’d be happy to watch that keep playing out all season.

- Location task! I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat, take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat!

- Okay, this is basically a Super Mario game.

- Frankie Boyle saying “We’re lining up with this bad boy” and then immediately crashing into a tree on the other side of the river from his target is the first thing all episode to make me properly laugh out loud. Other parts have made me laugh, but not as hard as that.

- I really like this task. Where did they get a barge? I hope the other location tasks are not just in that general area, but are also on that barge.

- I agree with the decision to put that Jenny Eclair crash at the beginning of the opening titles. Good stuff.

- I’ve paused it after seeing Frankie and Jenny’s attempt to say: there has to be some other way of doing it, right? Some way of going around and catching the rings, not touching them but gather them on a stick or something? Maybe that wouldn’t work. Maybe they really do just have to drive a barge.

- Yep, I’m definitely on board with Kiell playing this season with comically over-the-top confidence. That’s entertaining.

- Mae and Ivo both kiling it out there, genuinely impressive. Sorry Ivo, I might have to take back at least a few things I said about you being competitive but incompetent. We’re getting competitiveness and competence from both people here.

- Oh shit! I think this is only the second time in Taskmaster history that two people have been so close in a “fastest wins” task that they’ve shown them next to each other. The first being Chris Ramsey and Sophie Duker, which was both a very exciting individual task, and the beginning of a really good rivalry.

- Right, I obviously wrote the above two points before this happened:

Well done with the misdirect on the photo finish, editors. That was slick.

- You know what else was slick? Mae Martin snagging those tubes like they’re a professional barge driver. God damn. Well done.

- Ivo completing the task, cheering so hard his hat fell off, and then immediately crashing into the concrete - another proper laugh out of me.

- I started this post by saying I’m amused by the idea of Ivo Graham being so afraid of Frankie Boyle that he had difficulty just introducing a prize while sitting next to him. That theory has also not been dispeled.

But based on watching him visibly squirm while they discussed his errors, and and then physically jump on the first person who tried to save him - I think this this season is going to offer me plenty of two things I like. One being highly competitive Taskmaster contestants caring way too much about doing well (from Ivo and Mae), and the other being, as I said, Ivo Graham getting crushed.

- I can’t be bothered to make a gif of this, and actually, I think the still images might be funnier anyway.

God damn, Ivo. Now I really do have to take back at least four or five of the comments I’ve ever made about your incompetence. That is… that was so cool, that you get one free pass in the future, you get to do one stupid thing some other time and I won’t even hope anyone crushes you for it.

Oh, that was genuinely good. Kiell responding in kind, also very funny. But humour aside, that was just a really smart idea out of Ivo. Fucking right.

- I tried to think of something to say about this screenshot so I could justify posting it, but I’ve got nothing, I just wanted that picture of Mae.

- Hell of a screenshot, this one is:

It’s a good Taskmaster episode when it produces at least one tableau that looks like it could be an ancient painting. It adds to the composition that it gets more dramatic as you work inwards - Frankie and Mae just observing, Ivo and Kiell processing what they’ve done with each other, Jenny raising her arms to the heavens.

- I like it. A strong balance in that opening episode, a solid mix. Some promising starts to various dynamics and personas, pretty much along the lines of what I was hoping for. This is going to be fucking good.

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