#my first attempt at writing them

[tubbytarchia]

Missed drawing these two too

Bonuses

[minamill]

Family album

details under the cut

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

I've been trying to phrase things eloquently and I really can't so here you go. Part two really felt like it was trying have its cake and eat it as well in a lot of ways, and it really didn't work.

You give Cressida a whole redemption arc and friendship and put her in an impossible situation and humanise and make you sympathise with her, then want me to hate her again?

You show how Pen uses LW as a coping mechanism and how it's not good for her or those around her and not have her drop it?

You want LW revealed to the ton but no real consequences?

You double down on how Pens family treat her only to have them all come together and be forgiven at the end?

You sideline Colin in his own damn season and butcher Penelope so badly I almost wanted less of her as well?

You can't have everything. Not in such a short time span at least, and it really suffer from it. If you wanted to give Cressida more depth and expend on her role why was she tossed away like nothing at the end? Why did Eloise abandon her? Why was she treated as awful in part two after being put in an actual horror show of a situation? I know they needed the blackmail plot but you can't just give her depth, make her the antagonist and then drop her storyline in the drain that's not how that works. That's not complexity that's laziness, and laziness they created mind you.

They didn't have to write Cressida the way they did this season, if they wanted to make it easy they could have had her marry off screen between seasons to a rich man, they could have had Eloise befriending her be a mistake and had a different arc there, they could have had her LW claim be for any number of reasons, and her blackmail because she still has it out for Penelope. They added this to the story, and as much as I was sceptical at first (I have seen far too many botched bully redemptions) I was glad they did it aded a lot of depth and character interaction, it created some interesting parallels between Cressida and Penelope and seeing Eloise in a different, less intimate friendship with someone who, ironically, is a lot more open with her was interesting. Incomplete, but interesting. It was good, or it could have been. But you can't just turn like that and have it still work. You can't just have Eloise abandon her and have it treated as the right thing to do. You can't leave her with that ending and consider it a happy one. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You didn't create a complex antagonist, you created a scared lost girl who was cruel because she was taught to be and you left her to burn.

You could have had Penelope and Cressida talk to each other, could have explored the ways the mirror and the ways they differ. You could have had Penelope struggle, but untimely empathise with Cressida and help her out, she could have forgiven her for her years of torment because she of all people understands why she did it. You could have had her forgiveness mirror Colin and Eloise forgiving her for LW. You could have looked at how Cressida's openness helped her friendship with Eloise and how Penelope might start to incorporate it. About how by nature of Cressida's openness Eloise is learning to see other perspectives and listen more even if she still has work. You could have done so much with female friendship and camaraderie and empathy and you just... didn't.

The Lady Whistledown this season was just... I think I have a thesis which is most of my thoughts on Polin.

Whistledown was meant to be the subplot to the Polin storyline, not the other way around.

Putting aside my own wishes to have her end Whistledown for her character and for her and Colins relationship, and her love of Colin, her continuing it isn't unexpected I was afraid of this and thought it might happen even if it's lazy. If that was it and if it was handled better I think I could begrudgingly live with it. But it's not. Not only was it handled so so poorly it was the whole second part and for what? Part one was Polin. Part two was Lady Whistledown drama with some cute Polin moments sprinkled in-between with some mandatory angst. Tell me the resolution to Colins arc now. Quickly. You can't he didn't have one, we barley even saw him through Episode seven and eight. There is so much romance in your purpose being the person you love, IF and only IF, it's reciprocal. Penelope literally says in season two, when she has been Whistledown for over a bloody year that she hasn't found her purpose yet. They were meant to find each other. To both have their writing as their passion and creativity and fulfilment, not Whistledown, but her manuscripts, his stories from around the word their joint and secret words. But their centre, their purpose, their guiding light was always meant to be each other. It's what kept Penelope sitting at that window, it's what draw Colin to her at every ball. They had all the potential and set up to be the most beautiful, genuine, heartfelt relationship. But no.

Colin deserved to be angry. The woman he loves has lied, has hurt him, has his from him after all the times he was venerable with her and so, so much more. They deserved to argue. Penelope deserved to be more upset over this than crying in the moment and walking past him later. That's the man she loves, who she thinks hates her, who she know if he did hate her she would deserve it and she wouldn't blame him for a second. They deserved time and space and Colin deserved explanations and apologies. They deserved a later, happier wedding, they both deserved to have their feelings heard and said and listened too. Is that not the core of their relationship? Listening to and seeing each other? Would that not lay the groundwork for some really good well earned conflict and a really rewording resolution? The groundwork was all there that's what's killing me. The set up was all there for something so good which is why I was excited. I know screen time is limited, I know there is only so many emotional conversations you can have on screen, but Bridgerton primarily just people talking on conversations, when it's there bloody season surely they can space out the conversations that need to happen in a way that works with pacing. And to be honest, the screen time defence only works when the screen time that they did have was allocated well. And I'm not taking subplots. Even if I think a few could have been trimmed, the screen time Polin did get was just used so so badly. Colin got dust and that didn't even feel like Penelope had the time, just a mouth piece for the writers.

Rapid fire stuff because I need to expand on the above in more detail later lol.

The acting was flawless give everyone on that set their flowers.

I really like the Mondrich's and seem to be the only one who likes seeing them lol, their sweet and always a good time they just need a better storyline, or you know, one that actually has a resolution.

Not what I would have done for Benedict and I still want to see him look at art again but let's hope season 4 is better lol.

Don't like the way Penelope's family stuff was done, specifically Portia but it is what I thought would happen. Disappointed but not surprised. I'm biased tho so I won't speak on it too much. I lose too much objectivity.

Hate hate hate the baby thing tho, it was fine as a subplot with her sisters but her having the boy was predictable and also dear god the girls nineteen for fucks sake. No. Hated that.

Francesca the absolute love of my life. I adore her and John, I liked the conflicted with Violet, loved everything about her storyline this season she was perfect, my favourite part honestly lol. Also Michaela Stirling get behind me NOW. Sapphic Bridgerton fans truly are the bravest soldiers cause istg. Also I don't trust this fandom with any actor or actresses period but especially not a Black actress who's "ruining" your favourite storyline. So I will be greatly enjoying everything I see of all three of them Francesca John and Michaela, while watching with a sharp eye for any bullshit.

Kate, also the love of my life it was so lovely to have her back even if just for a bit. Wish they did more with Anthony especially him and Colin tho, but again, wasn't expecting much more. I do wish they would write them out with a bit more subtly tho it's getting almost funny how obvious it is.

The Violet, Marcus, Lady Danbury plot I didn't actually mind. Could have been trimmed a bit but it was good seeing the adults in more depth, I haven't watched queen Charlotte tho so I kinda feel like I missed some things.

Overall, I liked certain parts of this season I really did, especially if I fully ignore the context, and I'm happy for everyone who enjoyed it truly, but it was have an entirely different ending in my head. I'll definitely write about at some point but who knows if anyone wants to see that lol.

[peterstrk]

“When will you stop calling me Mr. Stark?”

“I don’t know… never? It is your name, yeah?”

“Uh-huh, I know it, but Pete, you know you can call me Tony, right? Or anything you want, for that matter. You have my permission, sweetheart.”

“Oh, Sweetheart, I like it! Anything I want, huh, Dr. Stark?”

“Ugh… I brought that on myself, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did. However, I have a question to ask you.”

“Sure, ask away.”

“Um, I know it sounds silly, but I can’t help but feel like you’ve lived all these moments with others too. And no, I don’t judge you or anything, but it’s just… everyone you’ve ever been with has had the privilege to call you by your name and just… ugh, what I’m trying to say is, I love you, Mr. Stark, I truly do. But I want to come up with something that would be only mine! And I’m rambling again, I’m sorry… Anyway, my question is, can you wait for me to do that, please?”

“Oh, Pete, I didn’t know you felt this way. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through so much distress because of it. But Pete, sweetheart, the love of my life, never, you hear me, never question yourself around me, okay? I can’t change my past actions, but I don’t even remember their names, honey. You are the one for me… all I can think about all day is you and just how much I love you.”

“It’s always Peter,” Tony whispered, looking deep into Peter’s eyes and leaving faint kisses across his face. Peter’s bright, relieved smile reassured Tony that everything would be alright.

“Thank you…I think I came up with something for just us. What do you think of Anthony?” Peter said teasingly, his voice laced with a hint of mischief. Tony’s eyes lit up with amusement. He was all too eager to hear his boyfriend call him that.

“I love it, Peter. Anything you want, sweetheart, anything you want,” he replied with a hint of amusement. If anyone who knew him saw him now, they could easily tell how fond he was of the young pretty man standing before him.

[possamble]

Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.

I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."

[cxtangerina]

k2 is such a funny ship to me, like it's just plausible enough to be kinda sorta realistic if you squint and pray and look at it sideways, not quite a crackship but not able to get off the ground as more than a particularly popular rarepair either. they had, like, one big episode together back in season 3, a handful of major moments over the years that people hold onto with an iron grip, and basically nothing else outside of a plethora of fantastic fancontent and dreams.

i think i like it for the exact opposite reasons that i like kyman, actually, they sorta stand as complementary ships in my mind. where k2 barely has any actual basis in canon & comes heavily from fanworks and speculation about how well the characters would match each other, kyman is practically canonical, at least when it comes to cartman's feelings, and is at least regularly joked about and referenced in-show. personally, i also tend to see k2 as a ship that is kinda miraculously requited, whereas kyman is usually stuck in unrequited hell, which...

...well, this gets into more specific character analysis, but a big part of this is that i tend to see cartman as having very fucked up views of both romance & sexuality that have especially interesting implications when you consider him to have a crush on kyle, specifically.

on the one hand, i think his cupid self is evidence enough that he has a very fairytale, idealized view of romance, based more out of the hollywood movie image of what love is supposed to be rather than anything in reality. south park adults being utter fucking idiots 99% of the time means that most, if not all, of the kids don't have a lot of good role models to base their actions off of. i'm not gonna talk out of my ass about childhood development more than i understand it, but i don't think it's too controversial (?) of a take to claim that kids understand & learn about the world through watching it just as much as interacting with it, particularly when it comes to their own parents.

cartman is a piece of shit, and while a lot of that comes from him and his own bigotry, he's still ultimately a kid in show and you can trace where some of his worst traits originate from in the people around him, even if he makes the personal decision to push it as much as humanly possible. i think the trend in recent seasons for many adults to try and at least appear more pc only makes this more obvious, actually (coughcoughrandy), though talking about that is maybe biting off a little more south park politics than i'm willing to chew for this particular post.

point is, cartman as a character in particular does not have a lot, if anything, to base his idea of what a healthy, happy romantic relationship looks like, which isn't only because liane is single though that may be a major contributing factor. love isn't work to cartman, it isn't about the maintenance of a relationship or communication or all the more realistic and slightly less pleasant parts of loving someone that hollywood doesn't find dramatic or interesting enough to show. rather it's a fantasy, something that happens to people that they have no real control over. i wouldn't be surprised if he believes in soulmates or love at first sight, even if the likelihood of him admitting that out loud isn't especially high.

on the other hand, i think his view of sexuality is greatly influenced by not just liane's sex work, but the way she is slut-shamed and treated like garbage by the rest of the town for it. i tend to view cartman as having a very transactional, cynical view of sex and sexuality, where sex is only used for personal gain (whether that be money or power, likely at the expense of someone else/the submissive party), and sexuality is an inherent character flaw, a weakness that must be overcome unless you are able to twist it and use it for your own (material?) benefit- see the streaming wars & cartman wanting his mom to seduce a rich man for money as a recent example of this.

it's a running gag in TFBW that cartman uses douchebag catching their dad fucking their mom as a tragic backstory, and doesn't seem to understand how reproduction actually works even when kyle basically says it straight to his fucking face. even as a joke, there's still a lot of underlying truth behind why he would believe this. cartman is aware of his mom's sex work, even if he may not want to fully admit/believe it, largely because of situations where he's specifically getting shit for it. he knows he has a father, and that he is (in)directly responsible for said father's horrible death & consumption, but he only really cares about that insofar as it means he's half ginger. sex has only ever been presented through its most vicious power dynamics to him- why would he see it as a good thing, as something that could ever be loving, especially when contrasted against such an idealized, purified view of romance?

(you could also extrapolate from this how cartman associates sexuality & romance with femininity & his brand of sexism to get some particularly delectable transfem cartman ideas, but i digress.)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that cartman having a crush on kyle (or anyone, really, but kyle is obviously the most emotionally volatile example) instantly pits those two conflicting views against one another, like he wants something that he doesn't even think could ever exist: a happy, healthy romantic relationship, where sex is just a normal thing that they can choose to do or not. this is where a lot of kyman angst comes from for me, with cartman either trying to stuff that round desire back into the square hole of how he views the world, or having his ideals fall ever further apart when the feelings are unrequited. and, on top of that, none of this being actually said out loud because communication is impossible.

this is why i always see kyman as making each other worse, especially if they actually manage to make it into a romantic relationship. i simply Do Not see kyle being a patient enough person to help cartman work through the intricacies of all of his expectations and idealized fantasies and internalized fears surrounding such mutually screwed views of romance & sexuality- on the rare occasions that kyle does show some interest in romantic relationships it's usually pretty centered around himself, and to be frank i only see his interest in romance going down as he gets older.

i've heard some people talk about kyle before like he's the "moral compass" of south park or whatever and while that may be true by the end of the episode, one of the things i like most about him is the fact that he struggles so much to get to the best conclusions. this is kind of getting back into the k2 side of this analysis, but where kenny manages a much more effortless selflessness, even pushing it to the point of being both a strength and a flaw when kenny stops caring about himself for the sake of others, kyle is a lot more self-centered than he cares to admit and it influences a lot of his attempts at being a good person.

this is both my favorite aspect of kyle, that he really has to put in the work to be the good person that he wants to be, and also the primary bad trait that i think cartman brings out of kyle. by being such a notoriously horrible shithead, he gives kyle the perfect target to unleash his annoyance on, getting him so caught up in arguing and proving himself to be the better person that kyle forgets to actually listen to the people that he's supposed to be standing up for. cartman is a fantastic troll and, at least in show, kyle definitely has not learned to stop feeding him argument fodder yet.

sidenote: about kyman entering a romantic relationship... wasn't sure where to add this, but it's for this exact reason that i also see kyman (or this version of kyman where cartman gets worse with age, rather than better) only actually happening in the universes where kyle has lost all other meaningful connections, to the point that feeding a troll to get off on an argument is the best possible option, even if he's old enough to know better. especially if he's old enough to know better.

again, k2 is the opposite of this for me in that i see kyle & kenny as having a lot of potential to bring out the best in each other.

if kyle's worst trait is that he gets too caught up in his own feelings & desires to truly be the good, selfless, thoughtful person that he wants to be to actually do genuine good for the sake of others, kenny's problem is that he skews too far in the opposite direction. i kinda already said this, but to state it outright: kenny's biggest strength and his biggest flaw are the exact same, that he is selfless to a fault, to the point of consistently putting other people's safety and happiness above his own when he thinks it would be of help the majority/the people he loves. this was the key kenny trait that was established by the end of BL&U, and it has only gotten more prominent in the years since with his mysterion persona.

it is in this way that kenny both stands as someone that kyle can look up to & admire for how effortlessly he dedicates himself to the people he cares about the most, but also, simultaneously, as someone that kyle can take care of himself and offer the same help back to. and i don't even think kenny needs to say very much out loud to push kyle towards a lot of these conclusions, he kinda just has to exist and be noticed and kyle has the intelligence to figure it out himself, to recognize the shit that kenny puts himself through and his (usually) quite noble reasons for doing so, and want to offer him the same love and care and dedication that kenny never allows himself to have.

really, the difficult part of this is being noticed at all in the first place. again, i said earlier that k2 is kinda "miraculously requited," in my mind, specifically because the aspect that's missing in the show and almost always must be provided by fan content for k2 is that spark/push forward that gets them close enough to start talking and for kyle to notice kenny in the first place. it's just lucky that's one of my favorite things to figure out and write for those two, hehehe.

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[ashertickler]

asher and acne

○ teen asher who would be cursed with the most acne prone skin and had bouts of acne frequently

○ teen asher who would easily break out from stress, and being ash he would stress out in his mind but never tell someone, the only sign being his sudden break outs

○ teen asher who was made fun of for his acne, called names and constantly shamed for not using proper skincare

○ teen asher who, try as he might, could never find the right products that would work on his skin. in fact, nothing really did

○ teen asher who would wear skin colour discreet pimple patches or even steal his sister's make up to try to cover up as much of his acne as he could

○ teen asher who developed a skin picking habit out of anxiety, making his acne worse

○ teen asher who was so insecure about his acne, he would cover his face up in photos, and fixate on how prominent his acne was is any photos where it's shown

○ teen asher who never thought he would overcome his skin insecurity

~

● adult asher who has acne scars from picking his skin when he was younger

● adult asher who still feels slightly self conscious anytime someone mentions pimples

● adult asher who thought he'd never fully get over his anxiety about his skin, even when grown up

● adult asher who, upon meeting babe, saw them wearing bright starface pimple patches anytime they got a random pimple

● adult asher who thought it was so cool, having funky little stars dotted across their face, and how they didn't seem to hide the patches or shy away from his gaze on their skin

● adult asher who wanted so badly to have that level of confidence with something so attention-grabbing and bold from something he's still self conscious about

● adult asher who, after he got together with babe, sheepishly asked about those patches... could he try one on? just to see how it looked on him, like whether they suited him or not... if that was ok with them?

● adult asher who got compliments and praise from babe who happily lets him use the patches, saying how cute they were on him, how cool he looked, how well it matched with his style

● adult asher who started to wear the starface pimple patches in public anytime he broke out and felt insecure, needing to cover them up. and getting smiles from the pack when they saw him embrace this new look

● adult asher who eventually got comfortable with babe kissing his cheeks, kissing his acne scars, even his pimple patches. them calling him their starboy

● adult asher who feels like maybe having pimples and acne scars isn't so bad anymore

[alvie-pines]

A hand clamps around the steel cables of his neck. Optimus feels fuel lines bend and crack. His frame is worn and abused, deep grooves littering his armor and plating torn up and turned out.

"Prime," Megatron growls. "Optimus." His optics are blazing red. He drags his enemy closer, pulling him up off the ground, until their helms clink together. "Orion," he says. His words are quiet, meant only for one.

Optimus' vocalizer is full of static when he speaks. "I have not been him for a very long time, Megatron," he rasps. "You know that very well."

It's as if Megatron hasn't heard him. "Come back, Orion."

Slowly, Optimus brings a firm hand up to cup the side of Megatron's helm. He sighs, deep and weary. "Would that I could, my dear." His voice and touch are soft and wistful.

Megatron narrows his eyes as his face twists up in anger and hurt. "You have a choice," he hisses. "You can come back anytime you want."

Optimus' mask slides back with a heavy click, and behind it, he is smiling a sad sort of smile. "I have a duty."

"A perfect excuse to shake off four million years," Megatron continues, his voice taking on a tinge of something desperate. "The matrix changed you. We were once--"

"Once," Optimus interrupts. He puts his hand over Megatron's where it is still clamped around his throat. A request. "In the past. Orion Pax is over."

Megatron releases him.

"I will find him," he swears. "I will kill you and I will find him."

[clegfly]

“Of course you have an Other Brother,” he says, waving off her denial as he opens some nearby cabinets. “Who else would I be if I wasn’t?”

Small WIP sketch of the Other Brother from IDKSomethingClever99’s fic “Mari in the Pink Palace”!!! OMORI and Coraline are my two biggest interests ever so this fic was like winning the lottery for me. Not to mention how good it is… please go read it ragh

[cuubism]

For the wip tag game, dreamling shibari

shibari fic aka "dream came out here to have a good time and is honestly feeling so traumatized right now"

--

“You’ve no idea what having you at my mercy will do to me.” He brushes his lips over the shell of Dream’s ear as he speaks, then grazes his teeth there. “Been dreaming about it. You probably know that.” “I refrained from viewing those dreams so that I could experience it now,” says Dream, and Hob makes a low whining sound. Dream could have stepped into those dreams. He could have done this in the Dreaming, where his power is absolute. But his senses are… sharper, here, in the waking. Easier to tip into pain, and into softness, too. And to allow Hob to bind him outside of the Dreaming is simply… different. “You didn’t take offense, my lord, to me trying to dom you in your own kingdom?” Hob says it conversationally, humorously, as he leans back again and loosens his grip on Dream’s wrists. “It was very impudent,” Dream says, and Hob chuckles. “You have ever been. That was not my true essence in the dreams, merely a conjuration of your own mind, but… I felt the touch of it from afar.” “What does that feel like?” Hob asks, curious. He tugs on the hem of Dream’s t-shirt. Dream lets it dissolve away into sand. A final flex of his power before it is stolen from him. “It feels like you are dragging a fingertip up my spine, but when I turn you are not there.” Every time it made him shiver. He could feel Hob’s attention on him, Hob’s thoughts, Hob’s want. A pleasant and distracting tingle that made arousal pool like honey within him. An edge-state he found he liked to luxuriate in rather than acting on, let it carry him on the border of want until such time as he saw Hob again in the waking.

[mylarena]

Benrey was back again.

Gordon could feel his blood pressure starting to rise at the sight of that worn-down hoodie the boy seemed to be perpetually wearing. Does he not have any other shirts? It's not even cold out! Not to mention his stupid fucking hat. Gordon doesn't think he's ever even seen Benrey's hair. Who knows, he might actually be bald under there.

That's besides the point. The point is, Gordon can see the moment Benrey catches a glimpse of him from across the room, and he internally braces himself for the ridiculously mediocre bullying he endures daily.

Gordon isn't sure why Benrey decided he was the ideal target for his harassment, but he's put up with it for the past few years anyways.

"yooo, feetman!"

Gordon takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, then tries to release the tension in his shoulders with it. He doesn't bother responding to the nuisance pestering him, instead trying to direct his focus on the math problems on the notebook in front of him.

"heyyyy," Benrey throws an arm over his shoulders, leaning his full weight onto Gordon, "you being a nerd? little- little nerdman? little nerdman doing. doing his math? mathboy? mathman?"

Gordon grits his teeth as he feels a tug on a lock of his hair that had fallen from his ponytail. God, why is this boy so touchy?

"psssst, feetman?" Benrey presses his face right next to Gordon's to look at the page, entirely dismissing any notion of personal space. "what are you working on, nerdman? numbers? workin' on numbers? numberboy? numberman? numb-"

"Jesus Christ, have you never heard of personal fucking space?" Gordon leans away and shoves Benrey off of him, finally looking at him with a scowl.

Benrey blinks at him. "whuh?"

Gordon groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can feel a migraine building.

[ravs6709]

idk if this is something im maybe hallucinating or maybe its just the posts that i see occasionally but ifl sometimes its hard for the fandom to let yjh exist outside of kdj?? like i know the whole kdj being the reason for the story and yjh as an extension to exist is a thing but yjh separating himself from the narrative and establishing himself as not just the protagonist but a person is Also a thing and i feel like we don't talk about it as much.

like i dont know man!! maybe this is all in my head but sooo much of the yjh content also doubles as joongdok?? and you KNOW i love good joongdok but where are the character studies. where are the deep dives. where is the acknowledging yjh as an intricately convoluted and complex characters with his own wishes and desires and the way those desires fuel the narrative like goddddd hes SUCH a Character i think we need to discuss it more. anyways hes my fave btw no one gets him like i do

NO YOURE SO RIGHT THAT IS EXACTLY WHATS HAPPENING

Like yjh becoming a Person is his whole growth??? I haven't been consuming nearly as much orv content, and I'm pretty sure it's for this very reason cause I want more character studies so bad!! Or dynamics with other members of kimcom!!

You ever think about him and mia, mia who is suddenly so distant from her brother, you ever think about him and jihye, how she wants to be strong like him

Or sp!!! Who carries so much grief, and it saddens me that his "why is it not me, but you?" line got reduced to "oh he's jealous he doesn't have a kdj" when it's "he doesn't have ANY companions he doesn't have a SISTER A DISCIPLE A TEACHER"

[cloudsandcrescents]

❖ BeChloe AU Prompt ❖

Beca had stopped loving him a long time ago…it didn’t make losing him any easier.

***

Chloe gave up everything for him…it wasn’t enough to make him stay.

***

In which Chloe and Beca learn that all secrets have there consequences. Secrets that nearly cost them everything. And, of these two tragedies, blooms something beautiful. Two hearts without a home, and yet, they are not alone.

Time heals most wounds while love heals others. 🌹

[youngpettyqueen]

Oh I now saw you reblogged some prompts! this one caught my eye bc I immediately heard this in jadzia's voice about garashir 67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

anon youre so right I IMMEDIATELY heard this in her voice on reading it. please enjoy Jadzia hassling Julian about his very not-subtle thing with the local lizard man

Julian is in a very good mood today.

Jadzia noticed it very quickly upon entering the infirmary. Of course, he was very concerned when she showed him her burnt hand, the result of not paying enough attention while tinkering with a panel that had been bothering her. But his concern was quickly gone once he realized the burn was only shallow, and would just need a quick pass with a dermal regenerator.

The thing is, he would usually still fuss. Or, at the very least, admonish her for being careless. But, no, he's coming back with the dermal regenerator and he's... humming, of all things. A slow song, with a gentle melody that she finds herself wanting to sway along to. She doesn't recognize it off the top of her head, but it's... nice.

"What is that?" She asks. She can't help herself- she's curious by nature.

"Hm?" Julian stops humming, looking up to meet her eyes, "What's what?"

"That song you're humming," Jadzia says, "It's nice. What is it?"

"Oh, that," Julian looks back at her hand, focusing on running the regenerator over her palm, "It's a... Cardassian piece. It's been stuck in my head since this morning." He tells her.

Jadzia narrows her eyes at him. He's... blushing. It's subtle, but it's there- he's all pink in the cheeks. "A Cardassian piece?" She echoes, a mischievous smirk curling her lips, "Where did you hear that?"

Julian is now very pointedly avoiding eye contact. "Garak showed it to me." He tells her.

Jadzia leans in, trying to catch his eye. "And why was Garak showing you Cardassian music this morning?" She asks, "Don't you two usually meet for lunch?"

His face is now going a very adorable shade of red. "We can meet more than once a week, Jadzia." He points out.

"Have you been meeting more than once a week?" She can't help but keep pressing- he's like a big red button, begging to be pushed, "Julian, you didn't tell me! When did that happen?"

"I wasn't aware I needed to keep you informed of what I do with my-" Julian cuts himself off very quickly, takes a moment, then coughs out, "Friend." In about the most unconvincing manner possible.

Oh, she has him now. "If he's your friend, then why are you blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush?" She asks.

Julian abruptly lets go of her hand. "Well, that takes care of that!" He says, his voice pitched, "If you would excuse me, I'm a very busy man, and I have... many surgeries to get to." He turns on his heel and starts making his escape.

Jadzia hops off the examination table and follows. "Oh, no. You're not getting away from me that easily," She swoops in front of him, blocking his way, "I want details." She insists.

"Details of what?" Julian asks incredulously.

"Your date." Jadzia grins.

"It wasn't a date!" Julian exclaims, "Really, I have patients to-" He tries to duck around her, but she moves to get in his way.

"No?" She presses, stepping closer. He steps back, "You two just... what, had a little get together this morning? Where he showed you Cardassian music?" She ducks down to catch his eye, "Slow Cardassian music?" She adds, pointed.

Julian's blush has started creeping across his nose. "Exactly," He squeaks out, unconvincing, "Just a friendly get together. Between friends. With... music."

Jadzia raises a brow at him. "I didn't see you on the promenade this morning." She informs him.

"That's because we weren't on the promenade." Julian replies.

"And you weren't in the holosuites," She continues, "I know, because Worf runs his exercise class every morning, and Quark was too scared to get that Klingon party from last night out of the others."

Julian backs right up into the examination table. "I don't know what you're getting at." He deflects.

Jadzia leans in. "You were in his quarters, weren't you?" She asks, grinning like a wolf.

Julian's eyes widen like moons. "I was not!" He exclaims, looking around wildly like somebody might be listening, "Honestly, Jadzia, I hardly see how this is any of your business!" He hisses.

"Then where were you?" Jadzia questions, undeterred, "C'mon, Julian, if you can't tell me, who can you tell? Where were you?" She hassles.

Julian shrinks backwards, looking like he wants to make like a turtle and hide in his uniform. And then he ducks his head, mumbling something at a volume a Ferengi wouldn't be able to pick up on.

"What was that?" Jadzia leans more into his space, putting her arms on either side of him and trapping him, "I can't hear you."

Julian looks up to meet her eyes. He's all red, all the way to his ears. He considers for a moment, before he heaves a loud sigh and, very quietly, he admits, "...My quarters."

Jadzia lights up like the Dabo wheel at Quark's. "I knew it!" She exclaims, clapping her hands against the examination table, "I knew you were seeing each other. Julian, you've been holding out on me!" She accuses, "How long has this been going on?"

Julian presses himself backwards, very nearly climbing up onto the table. "I'm not answering that."

"Did he spend the night?" Jadzia continues.

"I'm especially not answering that!" Julian squawks.

"Do you love him?" Jadzia grins, nearly nose to nose with him.

Now Julian does push himself up onto the table, and he uses the opportunity to swing himself around and jump down to the other side and try to make his escape. "This conversation is over!" He calls as he hurries away.

Jadzia follows in hot pursuit. "Oh my god, you are in love with him!"

"Jadzia!"

[mochasucculent]

Yea idk how I haven't shared them here yet but here's some doodles of Tabitha and "Apathy" (she ain't got a name yet), the two protags of my ghost story!

Grieving after the sudden loss of her grandmother, Apathy accidentally becomes bound to the spirit of Tabitha, a young girl who was murdered in the 1870s. Stuck together in unfamiliar circumstances, the two must discover how to send Tabitha on to the afterlife, and if they even can.

UPDATEEEEEEEEE Apathy's name is Naomi :)