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seyaryminamoto · 2 years ago

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Leap of Faith: Sokkla Saturdays 2022

Day Nine: "Blue looks good on you"

On FF.net//On AO3

A/N:

And once again, we reach the end of our Sokkla Saturdays.

The story I'll present this time won't be as lighthearted as many I've written for this event since its inception. The source of this darker storyline, however, comes from a train of interpretation, headcanon and belief that I've seen growing stronger in fandom as of late: the belief that Zuko shouldn't forgive his sister, shouldn't help her grow, shouldn't have any role in her potential redemption.

While I don't focus primarily on Azula and Zuko's relationship and its healing during my stories, such themes are typically implied or implicit in my work while I focus on the storylines I do want to explore. Nevertheless, the notion that Zuko, someone who benefited so much from forgiveness and who has outright stated to Ozai that the Fire Nation's new era should be about "peace and kindness", should in turn allow his sister no peace and offer her no kindness has been rather disturbing for me, to the point where I wondered how to convey my opinion on such beliefs...

This story has shaped up to be one of my best ways to do so: what would Azula's post-canon story look like if her brother chooses to follow the rather aggressive fandom take where he should imprison her and demand that Aang takes away her bending, basically declaring that she deserves the same level of punishment and mercilessness as his father does?

Evidently, this is but one possible way in which such a storyline would proceed, other people can just as well imagine it in different ways, goes without saying. This, simply, is my personal idea of how to go about it. And while the focus on this story is not on Zuko, I suspect it will be clear that his actions and refusal to forgive are the core reasons for why this story happens as it does.

The last thing I'd like to say is that I actually don't believe canon Zuko would act this way, no matter how conflictive and contentious my relationship with his character may be. This is not the way I'd want to write Zuko on any given day, and I frankly do not understand how anyone can advocate for Zuko to be so embittered and cruel while being his fans... though, it's also worth noting that it's probably just a very loud and very small minority of Zuko fans, since most the ones I've met and seen don't stand by this belief at all. Much like my past "dark Ursa AU", which is also a characterization for Ursa that is very distant from canon and from my personal interpretation of her character, this is simply an exploration of narrative possibilities and more of a criticism of that vocal and volatile faction in Zuko's fanbase than it is of Zuko himself. On the bright side, this dark headcanon that certain people in the fandom are wildly militant about has allowed me to build a story I'm actually quite proud of... and I really hope you guys will enjoy it, in its many ups and downs on its way towards providing a resolution for Azula.

Hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading my stories for this year of Sokkla Saturdays.

The ceremonial robes hung heavily and unpleasantly on her shoulders. It was far too much fabric, and she could swear they hadn't been washed properly after whoever had last worn them before her, going by how stiff they felt. If she so much as tried to firebend while wearing this ridiculous outfit, the blue garments would catch fire in a heartbeat, same as the white-and-cream cape over her shoulders. It didn't matter how she shifted the damn outfit, though, it just didn't fit right…

"How did I ever let you talk me into this?" she hissed at the man standing beside her in the dark atrium that would lead them into the ceremonial hall. It didn't surprise her at all that he would smirk deviously at her. "Quit looking at me like that. One would think you're enjoying seeing me in this ridiculous, old-fashioned outfit."

"Aw, and here I thought you'd be stoked about wearing matching clothes with your uncle…" he teased.

She scoffed, shooting him a dangerous glare… one that he fielded with a smirk once again. It was as if he weren't even slightly afraid that she might lash out at him… that she might slap him, punch him or set him on fire. It could have been nice to not be deeply feared for once… but he annoyed her deeply with his antics. If he weren't so irritating, she'd actually be much more appreciative of his reckless trust in her…

For that very trust was the sole reason why she could be here right now, staring at the closed door of that damnable ceremonial hall.

"Why did you do this?" she asked, letting out a deep sigh. He shrugged. "Don't just shrug, damn you: tell me the truth. You could have stood aside and done nothing. Everyone else did exactly that. So why not you? Why did you decide to interfere?"

"Interfere? Is that really the word you want to pick now?"

"It is. Answer the question. And tell me why, of all things, you decided this was the right fate for me instead."

He breathed deeply. His blue eyes met her golden ones. For a moment, she seemed helpless, lost, confused about her place in the world… just as she had been when he had found her anew, in the wilderness of distant Fire Nation islands. When he had convinced her to trust him… when he had brought her back home, expecting a far better outcome than the one she had been dealt.

She had told him she wouldn't return to the asylum under any circumstances… he had promised he wouldn't let that happen to her. When everyone stepped back as Zuko condemned his sister, though, Sokka stepped forward, honoring his vow to ensure her worst nightmare wouldn't come to pass: the only amendment to the sentence Zuko had allowed, then, was prison… as well as the removal of Azula's bending abilities.

Her horror at that notion had been palpable. Both Azula and Sokka had argued against that punishment too, only for everyone else present at the Fire Lord's court to echo it as the safest choice going forward. Even those who seemed uncomfortable, like Aang, like Ty Lee, had kept their mouths shut. There was no curtain of fire… but Sokka had the distinct feeling that Ozai's shadow had not left those halls in the slightest if this was how his son treated his enemies.

She had been dragged to a dungeon afterwards.

That night, Sokka broke her free.

He kept true to his promise and escaped with her, and he only had one plan in mind – a risky one, to be sure, but it was his only immediate solution for her troubles, the only way to ensure they'd escape Zuko's jurisdiction, as well as secure Azula's life and bending:

She would join the Order of the White Lotus.

"You're aware of the reasons. You're not dumb, so don't play dumb," Sokka said, bumping her hip lightly with his own. "A bunch of former Fire Nation soldiers, your uncle included, are part of this organization. They were remorseful, they were allowed to fight against the Fire Nation during the end of the war and they were forgiven for their past crimes because of that. I'm not saying you'll get the same treatment… but if they earned that much leniency, I can't see why you can't be given a chance."

"Well, apparently, my crimes against the world order are far steeper than theirs ever were. I'm sure you've heard everyone say as much, haven't you?" Azula said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Sokka said, glancing at her with unease. "A siege intent on starving a city and razing it to the ground sounds a lot darker than everything you ever did."

"Does it, now?" Azula said, dismissively.

"I'm just saying… we've all had blood on our hands in different ways. And I assumed Zuko, of all people, should know the value of forgiveness by now," Sokka said. "But nothing anyone says can sway that guy when he gets an idea in his head… and I suppose you and your crew of dangerous friends were a bit too much trouble for him."

"Hardly my fault that he can't keep up with me," Azula huffed.

"Well… you humiliated him in front of his entire nation. About five times."

"Serves him right."

"Not sure the White Lotus will appreciate that attitude," Sokka smirked. Azula raised her eyebrows.

"If that's the case, why are you smiling?"

He winced at her spot-on assessment, and it was Azula's turn to smirk at him after he reacted to her words. His cheeks flushed slightly, and he shook his head.

"To be honest? I just… have the feeling that my persistence at helping you has caused Zuko to want my head on a stake every bit as badly as he wants yours," Sokka said. "And it's kind of wild to think that he made the most of other people's willingness to forgive him, only to decide to be merciless with his own family, in turn. I mean… he did a lot of shitty things to us too, back in the day. I'm not saying the stuff you did wasn't harmful and dangerous, but… even when you went on that weird kidnapping spree, you didn't do anything to hurt any of the children irreparably. Though… why did you do that?"

"The kidnapping spree?"

"Yeah. I mean… I'm not sure what that accomplished, beyond taking one more step in making your brother believe you were unforgivable. But I mean… even if that's what you wanted? You probably could've gone about it way differently."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I mean… there had to be some way to get that done without having to take care of a preschool class, I mean."

Azula actually laughed at his words. She shook her head as Sokka smiled, and she shrugged carelessly – the White Lotus cape rose and fell when she did as much.

"So, your concern is not on a moralistic level… just in regards of practicality?" Azula asked. Sokka snorted.

"You're someone geared towards efficiency above all else. Don't act like that's not the case anymore," he said, poking her shoulder with one finger. "If you wanted to mess with Zuko, there were many ways to do it without putting in half as much effort to organize that whole situation."

"Maybe you're overestimating me, then," Azula said. Sokka scoffed and shook his head.

"Sure am, Miss 'I took over Ba Sing Se with the subtlest coup in known history'…"

"And that's a good thing now?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows. Sokka shrugged.

"It's not as bloody as killing thousands of enemies and leaving them to drown in the middle of a considerable ecological disaster, so… I have to hand it to you, your approach to victory was disturbingly efficient and not as chaotic as my own."

Azula gritted her teeth, glancing at Sokka in perplexity. He bit his lip.

"A lot of us did terrible things in the war, and you can say they were for the right or the wrong reasons, depending on who it is… depending on who won. I've reached the conclusion that I don't regret doing everything I did to win the war and defeat your father… but sometimes I wish, anyway, that I'd done it differently. For a while, I disregarded Aang's moral code as a simple difference in culture… until I was the one with so much blood on my hands. The one waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweat because… because I'd keep thinking about all the soldiers and engineers and just regular people I killed with my actions. Maybe I didn't do it personally, maybe I didn't drive a knife through their hearts… but it doesn't change that I'm responsible for their deaths, too."

"Is that why you joined the White Lotus? To atone?" Azula asked. Sokka sighed.

"At first? Nah. I just wanted to stay active, to feel useful, to do things and work to fix more of the world as best as I could… but the more those thoughts plagued me, the more help I needed. I went to Aang, to my sword master, Piandao… their wisdom helped in some ways, but they both believed, too, that I had to find my own answers. And I'm still looking for them…"

"And somehow, that quest for answers convinced you to help me?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows. "Or, well, what passes for help in your weird head. These clothes are still ridiculously unwieldy… it's like wearing a blanket."

"Bear with it for a few more hours, damn it," Sokka chuckled. "But… yeah. I couldn't have lived with myself if you'd been killed by bounty hunters. I couldn't have lived with myself if you had been forced into the asylum again after you told me you'd sooner die than go back there. And… I couldn't have lived with letting Aang take your bending by Zuko's demands solely because he's scared of you. I might be making a terrible mistake here, Azula… but I'd rather mess up by trying to do something that feels right, deep in my gut, rather than messing up by doing something that feels wrong while just hoping my choice will be validated eventually if you ever try to do something really mean to someone or another."

"So… it feels right to give me a chance to become a White Lotus agent?" Azula asked, still skeptical as she stared at the large door before her: the symbol of that White Lotus tile her uncle ever favored looked far more menacing there than on a simple board. "Do you have wild expectations about how I'll become a poster child for world peace just because I joined your gang of war veterans looking for a purpose in life? Because that's not very likely, if you must know…"

"Heh, guess that's not it… but I do hope you can find a purpose," Sokka said. "I want you to have the second chance all these guys got… that even Zuko got, no matter if he's unwilling to extend that opportunity to people he should care about. I mean, however fucked up your relationship may be… you're still his sister. I keep trying to imagine how I'd act if it were me and Katara, and I just… I don't think I'd ever have it in me to give that order. To say the things he said to you when he sentenced you. I'm not expecting him to become best friends with you… but that extent of mercilessness is not what I believed he would adhere to once he became Fire Lord. In fact… he always talked about becoming a Fire Lord of peace and kindness. How the hell is he planning on doing that by locking up his family members if they displease him?"

"Well, it's one way to go about it… a rather contradictory way," Azula said, with a weak smile. "You really don't owe me anything, though. You didn't have to go this far just to give me a chance to find a purpose. Most people wouldn't… as evidenced by the fact that no one else did."

"Maybe I want you to be the one who owes me," Sokka smirked deviously. Azula huffed. "Thought about that?"

"Now I see. I was about to get all mushy… but I suppose I understand what your game is now," she said, glaring at him sideways. Sokka chuckled, hands on his hips.

Sounds within the chamber gave away that the door would open soon. Sokka breathed deeply, nudging Azula gently again.

"Ready, then?"

"I don't think so, no," Azula said, gritting her teeth. "What does this ceremony entail, to begin with?"

"Hey, now, I can't give away their secrets…"

"Oh, you're such a pain," Azula hissed, and Sokka chuckled again before smiling fondly at her.

"I may be, but, for what it's worth?" he said. She raised an eyebrow, skeptically, in his direction. "Blue looks good on you."

Her lips parted, though she didn't say anything. Her cheeks flushed, and Sokka smiled at how curiously innocent the woman beside him looked in that very moment. When was the last time anyone had addressed a compliment to her? When was the last time she had heard kind words, altogether? When was the last time anyone had offered her a helping hand when she had needed it?

The torchlight within the room bathed them as the doors opened. Sokka jerked his head towards the doors… ushering her to join him inside the ceremony hall where, flustered and uncertain as she felt, Azula would officially become an agent of the Order of the White Lotus.

...

Even when coated in red, the black blade was unmistakable. Sokka wasn't alright, he realized, for he couldn't possibly be laughing about this if he were. He shouldn't be so amused after that brutal fight against a gang of deadly brigands, on a battlefield with countless wounded and only a few survivors…

But his hand wrapped around that handle, which he had crafted himself. His fingers tightened around it, and he threw his head back with the loudest cackle of laughter: he swung the sword to the side, and it slid cleanly across the air as the blood that clang to it splattered on the ground.

"Gotta… clean it properly. And hone the edge, I bet… but it's Space Sword. It's Space Sword, Azula!"

She let out a dismissive huff, glaring at her partner as she stood near the survivors of the bloodbath they'd been dragged into, survivors she had been restraining with sturdy chains: their latest mission had been dangerous and deadly. It hadn't taken her long to realize that being capable of terrible things wasn't merely an additional personality perk for agents of the White Lotus… but rather, it was a necessary one. Their harshness, their efficiency, was simply repurposed for whatever their leaders deemed to be the right causes.

Today, that cause had been a growing gang of organized crime in the northwestern Earth Kingdom. They had started by extorting travelers… by now, they had become a scourge upon the villages of the area, frequently pillaging farms and homesteads to steal whatever they cared to. At first, their quick rise had seemed incomprehensible, for the Earth King should have been able to send troops to deal with a threat like this one… then, reports that the leader was the wielder of a black blade explained why they hadn't been stopped for well over half a year.

Sokka had been looking for that sword since the end of the war – now, ten years after the last time he'd held his weapon, he nearly sobbed amid laughter as he gazed upon his Space Sword, finally returned to him.

"Will your sword be worth the existential crisis you'll get over today's massacre?" Azula asked, knowingly: it was hardly the first mission that had turned into a bloodbath since they'd begun working together, two years prior. In that time, she had gotten to know Sokka far more intimately than she had expected to… and she had even spoken with him a few times about his fears and dread whenever he had sudden panic attacks in the middle of the night.

"I… I hope so," Sokka said, glancing at her from over his shoulder.

Telling himself that violence had been the only way to stop their foes typically soothed him for around two hours, then he changed his mind and hated himself for it for four. It wouldn't be easy to cope with the numerous deaths they'd caused… but Sokka expected that his relief upon regaining his unique, extraordinary weapon wouldn't dwindle anytime soon.

"Well, whether you're right to hope so or not, we'd best get going. We both look like a mess," Azula said, shaking her head. "We have to turn over the survivors to the local authorities, don't we?"

"We do, we do. And we should probably bring the big boss's corpse to prove we're not talking out of our asses," Sokka agreed, sighing at the notion of carrying a dead man all the way to Garsai, the nearest city.

He stood up, and only then did Azula truly process that he was covered in blood. She flinched upon noticing that some appeared to spill from his breastplate, and she immediately feared that it might be his… but he moved smoothly, as though it weren't. They had taken a few scratches and bruises during the fight, but nothing should be a major injury…

But Sokka was still covered in blood. He had handled the worst of the battle and now, standing strong with the corpse fiercely clasped in one hand, the sword in the other, he appeared much more imposing than Azula had ever seen him as. She swallowed hard and nodded as he approached, firmly.

"Either way… we did our job, and you got your sword. All is well now, right?" Azula said. Sokka smiled and nodded. "Though… you really shouldn't smile that much when you're covered in blood. Doesn't suit your, uh, aesthetic."

"Oh. I'll make sure to look insolent and cranky, then," Sokka said, clearing his throat before staring Azula down with feigned coldness. Azula chuckled for it, despite herself. "And you shouldn't be laughing either… you're covered in blood as well."

"Most would say that this is my natural state, seeing as I'm supposed to be the deadliest, cruelest royal there ever was," Azula said, dramatically. Sokka smiled. "You, though? I suppose it's weird that red…"

"That… what?" Sokka blinked blankly. Azula bit her lip as she turned away from him.

"That red looks good on you," she mumbled so quietly her words were impossible for Sokka to infer or decipher.

"What? Hey! I didn't catch that!" Sokka squealed, marching alongside her towards the cluster of survivors from the criminal organization. "What did you say? Azula!"

"I said nothing important, now shut up and hug your sword again!" Azula huffed, cheeks tinged red – uttering that phrase had been a terrible mistake on her part: Sokka would likely ask her over and over again until something else distracted him, so she'd have to think of how to achieve her desired purpose…

But for now… for now, Sokka looked happier than he usually was. He gazed at her with grateful eyes, even if his gratitude over retrieving his sword was rather odd, considering what they'd had to do to obtain it.

Still… giving him a hand with this complicated mission had been okay.

In fact, giving him a hand in their previous missions had been fine, too.

She didn't know yet if he had succeeded at providing her with a purpose through their work… but she found herself making decisions she never had before. She had become his confidante much as he was hers… they could speak about their turbulent thoughts for hours on end at night, both in their own beds while they recovered their strength after hard days. During the first year, neither of them hadn't contacted anyone outside the Order, namely so Azula's presence among them would remain unknown to the Fire Nation and to anyone who wanted her dead… now, on the second year, Sokka had reconnected with his family briefly and confirmed that Azula's brother wasn't bound to have changed his mind about taking her in amicably again.

And so, they were each other's sole source of stability. They were partners, already so experienced at fighting alongside each other that they knew their tactics and techniques by heart. Their bond meant something, even if Azula didn't know what its meaning might be just yet. It wasn't a grand purpose, no… but finding out where this path would lead them was, at least, an entertaining distraction. One Azula would continue making the most of, in the hopes of finding the answer she was seeking through their adventures…

...

The isolated cabin in the depths of the Earth Kingdom mountains hardly seemed welcoming, but it was the sole choice of refuge they would find that day: Azula kicked the door open violently before pulling Sokka into the building.

"W-where is this…? What…?" Sokka mumbled, shivering as Azula wrapped her arms around him tightly, sharing her body heat with him.

That heat was the only reason why he had survived their latest, catastrophic mission: a firebending criminal had been on a murder spree in the Earth Kingdom. The White Lotus had described him as a serial killer, specifically drawn to attacking families – namely, to attacking the parents of any children he could get his hands on. The children usually went unharmed, some succeeding at finding help… others failing to do so, depending on how distant their home might be to the nearest villages. The White Lotus had determined an intervention was necessary, dire, even… and they had sent a team that now boasted of three years' worth of field experience, and with a talent for handling the more gruesome, unwanted missions that most other people didn't want to undertake.

The toll that such missions took on their souls was difficult to gauge most days. At times they handled their work swiftly, safely, and if their actions warranted it, they'd reflect on their choices later, sometimes together, sometimes by themselves. Their attempts to clean up their devastated world were exhausting, thankless: most their work was under tight wraps, and even Sokka's closest friends knew very little of what his duties as an agent demanded of him. Slowly and surely, Azula became his closest friend instead. They lived the same life… they stood together, back-to-back, against every threat in their path. They suffered together, they rejoiced together, they lived side by side…

And that also meant they had to fight against unsurmountable odds, with no manner of backup, to defeat dangerous threats such as the wretched serial killer whose corpse sank into the depths of the frozen lake. That was where Sokka had finally succeeded at slitting the bastard's throat, nearly decapitating him with Space Sword's sharp edge.

Azula hadn't been there on time: she had been the shield to the mother and son who had nearly become the next victims of the killer in question. Her firebending was superior to that of the enemy, but the man had the advantage of knowing the territory far better than they did: He even had traps prepared in the area that had slowed down and even split Azula from Sokka briefly.

She had urged the mother and the son to run to safety – the woman had taken a burn on her right arm right before their arrival, but she obeyed Azula's words and ran as fast as she could go with her terrified, crying son holding her unharmed hand. Sokka was then left to fight the killer alone for far too long, without Azula's help in fending off the flames: she didn't expect him to be unable to win without her, but, it would be that much easier for Sokka to end the man's reign of terror in these mountains if she muffled the enemy's fire…

She arrived just in time to see Sokka's best idea to defeat against the man's uncontrolled, dangerous firebending output, was to push him to walk on the surface of a frozen lake. Azula screamed for her partner just as Sokka slashed at the ice underneath his enemy: the firebender fell into the frigid waters, but he caught Sokka's ankle with a hand, dragging him underwater with him.

The amount of power Azula unleashed then, melting most the ice and warming the water, was unlike anything she'd done until then: within a minute since Sokka went under, she leapt into the water too… and a hand had clenched hers before long. Her attempts to light a fire in the water didn't pay off, of course, but flashes burst from her free hand nonetheless, allowing her to confirm that the hand gripping hers belonged to Sokka.

They had climbed out of the frigid lake, and Azula had swum them to safety. Sokka struggled to breathe, face pale, lips purple, and the cold air made matters worse for him. Azula had been affected by the cold water as well, but on a lesser degree thanks to her bending: she raised her temperature deliberately while holding him, and she continued to do so as she guided Sokka right to the humble cabin near the lake… she suspected it was the home of the mother and son, and she certainly hoped they wouldn't be all that upset about them taking refuge there after they'd saved their lives.

"Come here… come," Azula huffed, dragging Sokka to the empty fireplace: she dropped him there, tossing logs into the fire and casting her flames on them quickly. Sokka shivered as he sat on the floor… and he continued to do so as Azula grabbed his parka, forcing it off his body.

"A-Azula…"

"You're a lot more experienced in frigid weather than I am. Help me here, will you?" Azula hissed.

He swallowed hard as he raised his arms slightly, allowing Azula to yank his clothes off forcefully. Little by little, she removed his garments – his boots were soaked through, and she had no choice but to rub her warmed hands over his toes to ensure that frostbite wouldn't settle on him. Little by little, every clothing item was gone until he was down to his underwear… which was also soaked.

"Well, either you take that off or you let your dick freeze," Azula said, point-blank. Sokka winced. "Don't… don't tell me you're embarrassed in front of me, damn it. We're not trying out clothes after going shopping, Sokka, we're literally trying to save you after you nearly froze in a damn lake…"

"I-I'm… allowed to be shy about… about showing my half-frozen dick to a pretty girl, aren't I…?" Sokka chuckled, though his teeth chattered as he did. "Y-you sure…?"

"Fucking hell, Sokka, I'm not doing this to harass you: we're saving your life," Azula huffed: she reached for his hips and undid his fundoshi quickly, tossing it aside without looking at his groin. Instead, she kept her eyes set on his. "There. I saw nothing. Though… you should look, actually. You know, in case it already froze and fell off?"

"Uh…" Sokka swallowed hard, doing as he was told – Azula eyed him with a worried frown, raising her warm hands to his hair, where frost still clung to his half-undone wolf's tail. "Heh. Guess it's still there? N-no idea if it works, though…"

"Well, sit closer to the fire and hope it thaws completely soon," Azula said. Sokka actually smiled a little at that idea. "You really shouldn't have been so reckless…"

"I didn't… didn't know if you'd arrive any sooner. I'm sorry…"

"If I hadn't, you'd be dead by now," Azula said, point-blank. Sokka swallowed hard and nodded. "I can't have you dead, alright? I… I can't. So… if I have to choose between letting you freeze to death or holding your naked body to warm you up, I'm choosing the latter. It's nothing personal."

"Right, that doesn't sound personal at all," Sokka said, with a soft chuckle… though his eyes widened when he noticed Azula was stripping as well. "W-woah…"

"If you ogle me, I'll ogle you," Azula warned him. He chuckled, but he closed his eyes under her threat regardless.

"Fine, fine. Though… I might really warm up faster if I watch you doing that, heh," he said. Azula scoffed, pulling each garment off her body systematically – and reminding herself, through the process, not to look at Sokka anymore than he was looking at her.

Her bending had helped, for her humid clothes weren't as dangerously cold as Sokka's… but using her bending to aid him rather than to constantly combat the fabric's humidity would be a better way to spend her energies. So, once she had removed everything, Azula breathed deeply and closed her eyes. Her hand found his thigh… and to Sokka's utter surprise, she climbed over his legs so she could press her torso fully against his.

"Um…"

"Yes, yes. This is new territory for us," Azula said – she wasn't about to let him get funny ideas in his head… at least, not like the ones that had crossed hers already. This was a necessity, nothing more… "Where do you feel… well, colder? Or rather, it might be more important to ask if there's anything you're not feeling right now. Your legs, maybe? Your toes, still?"

"They came back after what you did before…" Sokka said, swallowing hard. Azula nodded, rubbing his back with warm hands next. "Hmm. You're too rough…"

"I'm not a masseuse. I'm allowed to be rough," Azula retorted. He laughed, dropping his head on her shoulder as she continued to work over his body with her bending. "Your fingers?"

"Stiff… but they're still there," Sokka said. Azula swallowed hard.

"Well, I will regret this, but… put them on my body. I'll warm them up further that way."

"Regret it… why?" Sokka chuckled, as he raised his hands to obey her last command. "Think I'm going to take advantage of that offer to touch something I shouldn't?"

"I know you will, rather. It's going to be… unpleasant to be touched by near-frozen hands, and I will wince, and you'll laugh about my reaction for years. So yes, I will regret it," Azula concluded. Sokka smiled sadly, even if she couldn't see it, as their eyes remained closed.

"What if I promise I'll behave…?"

"I won't believe you."

"Am I that unreliable?"

The question took her by surprise. She was tempted to look at him… but she settled for shaking her head as she tightened her grip around him. Sokka breathed deeply, whispering in her ear:

"Okay… I'll do it now. I'll be good, I promise."

Azula gritted her teeth, bracing herself for the cold… and it truly felt like being touched by solid ice when his hands fell upon her hips. She gasped, pressing her body into his, amping up her fire, strengthening her temperature… and Sokka responded by raising his head, pressing his brow to hers.

"You okay?" he asked, without a smidge of humor. Azula swallowed hard…

"It's… it's better now."

"Did it hurt?"

"Only when it started, but it's… better. It's…"

Both stopped on their tracks upon replaying their exchange in their heads for a moment. In unison, they opened their eyes to find each other's face closer than usual, closer than ever…

And then they laughed, brows still pressed together as Sokka's hands slowly leveled their temperature. Azula boosted her bending again, breathing out slowly against Sokka. His own breaths brushed against hers… and somehow, the moment of intimacy suited them just right. Perhaps it suited them far too well, Azula thought, for her body was reacting in ways it probably shouldn't have, considering they had been in mortal danger mere moments ago…

He twitched underneath her. Rather, his manhood did.

"U-uh, that…" Sokka said, grimacing as Azula raised a questioning eyebrow. "Look, give me a break here: you're naked and sitting on my dick. I'm just saying…"

"Imagine your luck… getting a woman to sit on you, naked, to save your life," Azula huffed. Sokka couldn't hold back a light smile… one that brought her attention to his lips. "You're feeling better?"

"I mean… there's a naked woman sitting atop me to save my life? Does it get any better than that?" Sokka asked, amused still. Azula huffed.

"I meant your temperature, fool," she whispered, taking his face delicately in her hands. "Your lips are still… kind of purple."

"Uh… well, they do feel a little cold, I guess, but…"

She silenced him with a finger… then with two. Sokka blinked blankly, staring at her questioningly at first… then lowering his gaze as best he could, watching as her fingertips trailed from one corner of his mouth to the other: warmth seeped from her fingers indeed, providing him with a source of welcome heat that was aiding him in his recovery, just as well.

"Better?" Azula asked: her voice was strangely softer now, far subtler than usual…

Perhaps even slightly affectionate.

Sokka's eyes rose towards hers: her golden gaze, ever so sharp and determined, so guarded and observant, had changed in nature slightly now as her other hand rose to his neck. The fingertips trailed still over his lips, over each soft ridge of his skin, smoothly warming him further…

He wanted to answer… but words failed him when he tried to part his lips. The very attempt to do so resulted in him brushing her fingers with his mouth…

Azula slowed, but she didn't withdraw her hand. They gazed into each other's eyes wistfully for a strange, confusing, intimate moment unlike any they had shared until then.

He did it again. This time, with much more intent than before.

His lips puckered out slightly, ever so slightly, pressing a kiss upon her fingertips.

She let out a slow breath – she didn't pull her hand back at all. He did it again, and again, and suddenly it wasn't her bending's doing that her body heat would rise. No… it was as though his choices were bending her own fire out of her control.

And she liked that sensation.

She lowered her fingers, trailing then over the stubble of his chin before replacing them with her own lips.

It was as though a dam had broken down, shattering under an onslaught of passion neither one had truly allowed themselves to be conscious of. A passion they had nursed and shared for three years, building it and strengthening it with every new day of working side by side to protect a world where she didn't belong… a world where he had found no true peace. The depth of understanding between them rushed across their bodies, paired with a primal urge where their lips found warmth through reckless, constant contact, as did their tongues once they dared take their initial exchange further. His hands rose to warmer parts of her body… and that same gasp, the same exclamation as before, took on an erotic meaning Sokka suspected hadn't been her intent at all.

But he touched her, kissed her, buried his face in her neck and chest, caressed her back, fondled her rear… just as she ran her hands over his chest and arms, trailing her lips down his collarbone, bucking her hips against his hardening shaft. His hand slid and dipped into her wet folds, and Azula moaned as she thrusted into it with abandon, providing him with even more heat… as he provided her, in turn, with tingles of pleasure that saw to the racing of her heartbeats.

All previous rules, either implicit or explicit, were gone now: they could gaze at each other if they cared to, and Azula warmed her hand before wrapping it around his shaft. Sokka groaned against her lips, and Azula kissed him again to ease him… failing to do so, of course, for he was further stirred and strengthened by every caress they shared.

He kissed her deeply anew: they swayed back at first, only for Azula to tilt him down next, pinning him down on the wooden floorboards. Sokka grunted for it, hands sliding down to palm her buttocks smoothly. Her lips trailed over his shoulder, down to his pecs, and she dared slip her tongue out to tease his nipples: they were terribly cold still, so she warmed them with her breath and lips, tickling them with her tongue as Sokka groaned in delight, still kneading her rear while the heat rose between them. Azula rose back to his lips after his nipples were warmer anew… but it was Sokka's turn, it seemed: he rolled them on the floor, and they landed even closer to the fire now as he dove upon her chest with far more energy than Azula had thought he had left in him. He sucked eagerly, tugging on her mounds and prompting them to bounce with momentum as he switched from one to the other – she trembled as her legs intertwined with his, hands smoothly touching as much of his body as she dared. No longer did she ask him about which of his body parts were still cold, which ones might need more attention… for their rational thoughts had been set aside for now. All reason had escaped as instinct and need, as emotion and lust, blended into one, unleashed in the form of a tryst they had never planned on…

All their barriers and boundaries had crumbled now, all limits they'd abided by in their professional relationship and personal friendship… and an unusual warmth was taking the place of the perpetual unease in the hearts of the two jaded warriors. It was relieving, comforting, exciting… it felt like coming to life, even if they'd only found that sensation after yet another dark, terrifyingly close brush with death.

Azula spread her legs, hooking them over his hips, conveying a powerful message Sokka obeyed at once: his manhood parted her folds slowly as it slid through her opening, and she gasped for breath across her moans, hands sliding through Sokka's moist hair. He kissed her heartily, his body as good as crushing hers as he slid deeper inside her…

"I'm not… s-still too cold, am I?" he whispered against her lips. Azula's chest heaved as it pressed against his, her fingers gripping his hair, undoing what was left of his wolf's tail. "B-because you feel…"

"Too… too hot for you?" Azula asked, with a slight smile. Sokka chuckled in response, closing his eyes as the warmth enveloped him smoothly.

"This is… it's the right way to chase away the cold. Definitely," he declared before leaning in to kiss her anew.

She didn't let him control their tryst for much longer: Sokka found himself underneath her before long, trapped between her body and the floor as she grinded atop him slow and delightfully. The sense of urgency had dwindled away, diminished into nothingness, for now she devoted herself to further boosting their shared heat. Their hands, their lips, the most intimate joining of their bodies… it was a natural outlet to so many things they had been holding in, for far too long. Instead of unleashing their frustrations against the world by fighting villains and miscreants hellbent on causing damage, instead of breaking their souls further by committing to a cause that further fractured their souls, no matter how painful it could be to live their lives by the philosophy of kill or be killed…

Instead of further spiraling into darkness, as they'd done for three years, suddenly their descent slowed that night. They were still enveloped by darkness in countless ways… but there was something beautiful within that darkness all the same. They had found something worth clinging to, something worth protecting not solely because of a professional partnership, or because of practicality… the bond between them had long outgrown such rational concepts.

Theirs was a bond of respect, mutual understanding and acceptance. Fights weren't beyond them, of course not – they had been arguing about countless things ever since Sokka had first found Azula and brought her to the Fire Nation, after all –, but with each new day spent together, it became that much easier to see the world through each other's eyes. A blinding fog had faded from view, letting them feel real if just for that unusual, extraordinarily intimate moment they shared. Excitement pulsed through their systems, as the aching need for each other was quenched smoothly through the rushing arousal that prepared to be unleashed…

Their cries were even more urgent as they reached their culmination – Azula trembled violently as her body struggled to grapple with the waves of pleasure she was utterly unused to. Sokka, as well, gasped for breath, eyes closed as he finished deep inside her… a worrisome choice, but one he would only ponder after their minds returned to reality. For now, all they would do was pant heavily, brows pressed together as the heat that rose between them finally eased up, evening out as they grappled with the reality of what they'd done.

"S-Sokka…" Azula whispered, breathlessly.

He responded with a quick kiss – all her attempts to reason with their choices crumbled after he did as much. She kissed him again and again, and they rolled on the floorboards anew, tangled together, finding it was exactly how they wished to remain.

They didn't bother finding anywhere safe to sleep – instead, they fell unconscious by the fire, holding each other tightly, more intimately than ever before. They would only wake up by morning, when the voices of the cabin's owners drifted in from a distance, and the two struggled to compose themselves, if only by putting on basic layers of clothing before rushing to the door that neither the mother nor the son wanted to cross, out of fear that the killer would be within their home.

Once the White Lotus agents stepped out into the open and explained matters, the grateful, wounded mother offered them fresh clothes to wear, the only thing she could do to pay them back for saving her life. Thus, Sokka ensured to head into town later, buying new clothes for both himself and Azula, and a large stash as well for the mother and her son. Saving them from a mad murderer was only the first step towards making life easier for people who lived as good as in the outskirts of society… and his job with Azula had become, whether intentionally or not, about protecting such vulnerable people.

They didn't bring up their heated night of passion at all through the day. Tension hung between them as they began their slow trek down the mountains… a trek they wouldn't be able to finish in one day. Another town, further away, provided them with lodging in an inn…

Sokka was startled when, upon entering their room, he found a double bed at its center, rather than the two individual beds they always asked for.

His heart started beating faster – Azula had been the one to request the room this time, not him, so this was her idea, her initiative and…

Her arms wrapped around his waist from behind, and she pressed her head to his back.

"Azula…" he called her, almost breathlessly.

"We don't have to if… if you'd rather not. I only… it's only… well, I…"

She didn't need to give him any explanations. He hadn't asked for them.

He turned in her arms, kissing her fiercely: her first moans of the night paid him back for his affection immediately. She hugged him with arms and legs alike once he lifted her from the floor, and they fell into bed together, tightly wound up around each other once more.

...

It had been a long time since he had last visited Ba Sing Se… it had been fifteen years since the war had ended. Somehow, it felt like longer still.

He knew he didn't look as dignified as he should have when marching up to the Earth King's Palace, and the guards had nearly turned him away at once – his specific request to speak with the Avatar and his sister, currently being hosted by the Earth King, was the only reason why they had given him a chance to be anywhere near the Palace. Katara had rushed to him at once, though, wrapping her arms tightly around him, and Sokka smiled as he pat her back gently.

"You're… oh, you're here, you're alive, and you're the worst! Why don't you write more often?!" Katara nearly screamed, as good as fisting his shirt before hugging him again. "Six months and we hadn't heard anything from you…!"

"Sorry, Katara… White Lotus missions are a little challenging," Sokka said, with a sad smile. He hugged her back, though he smiled at Aang when he approached as well.

"It's good to see you again, Sokka," Aang smiled kindly.

"Are the little rascals doing okay?" Sokka asked, marching into the Palace with them. "Kya not giving you too much trouble, is she?"

"Oh, not that much, no," Katara smiled, walking beside her brother. "You're way more stressful than either of our kids… and that's saying something, considering they're as wild as they care to be. Sokka, I get that you can't just reveal what's going on with you all the time, but at times I think…"

"You think… what?" Sokka raised his eyebrows. Katara huffed, shaking her head.

"It's just… sometimes I worry that she might do something to you."

Sokka's stern frown surprised Katara. She winced, unsure of why she felt like withdrawing her previous words… they weren't a lie, she was worried about her brother, she didn't trust Azula any more than anyone else did. He had been traveling with her for seven years by now… and while Sokka was still in good shape, he grew more isolated and spent less and less time with his friends than ever before. Was she wrong for worrying? Was she too protective of her brother? Whatever the case might be… she was worried anyway.

"You don't have to look at me that way, Sokka, I…"

"Don't. It's the same thing every time, and honestly, I'm tired of having this discussion, Katara…"

"I just don't like the fact that you keep vanishing for months and it almost feels like she's isolating you from everyone else somehow," Katara said, shaking her head and clutching Sokka's strong arm. "It's not fair that you have to live your life this way…"

"I chose this life, Katara," Sokka said, point-blank, staring at her sternly. Katara winced. "Whereas she barely had a choice on the matter, so if anything, I'm the one who's been unfair to her. Don't…"

"You know that's not what I mean…"

"The job entails what it entails. Simple as that, and honestly? That's why I'm here today, too: I'm not here to join the King's party," Sokka said, with a heavy huff as they stopped by the stairs that led into the main Palace building.

"You're not?" Aang frowned, stopping with one foot on the first step. "But Sokka…"

"I'm not invited, am I?" Sokka said, with a dry grin.

"Kuei would welcome you if you wanted to be part of this, Sokka. And I mean, since you're already here…" Katara said, but Sokka shook his head.

"I'm not here to join any parties… and frankly, neither should you," Sokka said. Aang frowned.

"It's not really a party, you know?" Aang said. "It's a diplomatic meeting, Sokka. We have to work on strategies to further strengthen and unify the Earth Kingdom…"

"And the biggest threat to that plan is literally under Kuei's own palace," Sokka said, bluntly. Aang frowned. "Look… the White Lotus has believable information that indicates Long Feng and the Dai Li will do something to sabotage these talks. Kuei can very well handle this elsewhere, or postpone the event… anything so long as he doesn't gather all the Earth Kingdom's leaders here just when his biggest foe could strike at any moment. So…"

"Believable information… how?" Aang asked, frowning. Sokka sighed.

"I'm not exactly at liberty to say, but…"

"Is it her? Any of her old Dai Li pals told her?" Katara asked. Sokka rolled his eyes.

"She has no contact with anyone from her past, so no, it's not her," Sokka huffed. "If I had to guess, they've got someone else infiltrating the Dai Li and they're feeding information to the Order. I don't know who it is, but I do know that you're better served warning Kuei against this threat."

"Well, we'll warn him… but Long Feng is under many layers of protection, Sokka," said Katara, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think he'll be able to get out and cause trouble anytime soon. So…"

"Just… warn them? Make sure they take proper security measures and all?" Sokka said, sighing and shaking his head. "I'll be on the lookout for any sketchy Dai Li members myself, but they're bound to attack two days from now, if the information I received was accurate. So… at least make sure they're ready by then. Okay?"

"Two days?" Katara said, with a grimace. "Well, full moon's tomorrow, but maybe I'll still have some of the effect of it in two days, if I need to fight at all?"

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Aang sighed, though he smiled at Sokka. "Thanks for warning–… uh, where are you going?"

He had already turned on his heels, and Katara's placid demeanor switched to alarm because of it.

"Sokka?" she called him. Her brother glanced at her over his shoulder.

"I'm not staying here, I said. Booked a room in the Lower Ring," Sokka said. Both Katara and Aang balked upon hearing that.

"Sokka, come on! We can talk to Kuei…!"

"You should stay! We have so many stories to tell you…!"

"I'm sure he's going to say it's fine…!"

"Bumi and Kya have barely seen you lately, come on…!"

"Hey!" Sokka raised his voice, prompting the other two to quiet down, if reproachfully. "I'll be back to check on you and the kids tomorrow. But all I really wanted to do right now was tell you guys about this problem. Tell Kuei, convince him that he can meet with me tomorrow… but I'm not going in there just like this. He'll probably want me ousted from the city as soon as possible anyway, happened the last time we had an assignment in Ba Sing Se…"

"And you got in anyhow this time?" Aang asked. Sokka huffed.

"Beats me why the White Lotus leadership decided we were the ones for the job this time. They secured our way in somehow," Sokka said, shaking his head.

"So… she's here too? In the city?" Katara asked, skeptical.

Sokka nodded: the steel in his eyes said she was not welcome to follow him, to not even think of so much as moving a finger in Azula's direction. Uncomfortable as that made her, Katara sighed and shrugged.

"Fine, then. We'll… we'll set up a meeting for you and the King tomorrow or something. Go," she said, shaking her head and going back up the stairs. Aang grimaced, recognizing his wife's mood quickly.

"Katara…" he sighed: Sokka felt a pang of guilt of his own at his sister's dejected response… and yet he didn't yield any more than she did.

"See you tomorrow, then," he said, curtly.

With that, Sokka marched out of the Palace anew. He didn't feel good about leaving things so badly with his sister… but he knew there would be no other outcome in that particular conflict. Telling Katara that Azula wasn't the girl she'd been in the past – and for that matter, he wasn't that boy anymore, either – was not enough. Telling her about how many people they'd helped, about how many times they'd faced deadly peril to fulfill missions, about how much work Azula had undertaken to restore peace… all of it meant nothing to her, for she always fixated on the wrong things. Maybe one day Katara would change her mind… but maybe she wouldn't. And at this point, Sokka had been through more than enough hardships to let himself waste away with worry over his sister's behavior. There would be time to fix things between them later.

The inn where they would stay wasn't too crowded – the owner was a member of the Order, too. Sokka greeted him curtly before rushing up the stairs, his heart already lightening as he approached their assigned room…

He pushed the door open to find a beautiful, dark-haired woman who pushed herself up from the bed on impulse, still groggy after taking a long nap while she waited for him to return.

"I'm up, I… I wasn't trying to be lazy. Done unpacking, so I just… napped," Azula said, excusing herself without any need to. Sokka couldn't hold back a fond smile as he closed the door behind himself.

"I feel like I could go for a nap myself," he said. "But someone's looking gorgeous so… I think I'll tire myself out with her some more first, if she's willing."

"Hmm? Gorgeous?" Azula asked, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand. "Found another girl in another room, maybe…?"

"I found my girl in my room, but she's being silly as usual," Sokka huffed, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her up to a standing position. Azula smiled, shaking her head as she closed her eyes, dropping her head on his shoulder. "You're gorgeous. Accept that reality already."

"I don't feel gorgeous when I've just woken up from a three-hour nap… or however long it was," she said, rubbing her face against his shoulder. "What time is it?"

"Around seven, I think," Sokka said, rubbing her back reassuringly. Azula hummed, nuzzling his neck.

"How did it go?" she asked. Sokka sighed and shrugged.

"Same old, same old. Katara's still being a pain about you…"

"Heh. Despising me is an international pastime, didn't you know?" Azula said, caressing his chest gently. Sokka growled, raising her head and kissing her rashly. She chuckled at his reaction. "Sokka…"

"They better go on and play at that when I'm not around, then. I'm not listening to any slander about you, not now, not ever," Sokka hissed. Azula hummed playfully, letting him pin her down on the mattress as he climbed over her. "I'd rather flee from Ba Sing Se through its sewers ten more times than humor their bullshit."

"Even if that means I won't sleep with you until you stop reeking of sewer shit?" Azula smirked, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You bathed around ten times across three days to get rid of the smell that time… you'd better do it a hundred times over if you really intend to stay true to that vow."

"How about I don't go through any sewers and I sleep with you anyhow?" Sokka smirked, burying his face in her neck. Azula laughed, closing her eyes and throwing her head back as Sokka delighted her with his mischief.

They had slid smoothly into the habit of intimacy. At this point, they never stayed in rooms with single beds anymore, not unless they were at the White Lotus headquarters for longer than usual – and even then, they would simply sneak into each other's rooms whenever they felt like it. The Order's leaders had to know of their relationship – at least, it was a certainty that they'd learn of it now that they were staying at an inn manned by a White Lotus member, too. If they had been subtle enough to keep it quiet during their visits to headquarters – though they rather doubted it –, that subtlety would be certain to end now…

But somehow, that hadn't worried Azula in the least when she had chosen this room earlier that day. Somehow, she hadn't betrayed even a smidge of concern about their relationship being discovered. Instead, she gave herself to him heartily that night, ever thrilled to hold him tightly as their sweaty bodies collided in passionate lovemaking, as they always did. If it didn't worry her, then it wouldn't worry him, either… at least, that's what Sokka thought after a couple of rounds of heated sex.

As passionate as she had been that night, there was some manner of stronger affection in her smiles this time. Instead of the wary distance she usually clung to, no matter how many times they had been intimate, today she seemed to have let go of all such reservations… to the point where, even as they lay on their sides, with Sokka hugging her gently from behind, Azula clasped his hand and led it up to her breasts, eliciting mischievous laughter from her clever lover.

"Someone's particularly indecent today," he said, kneading her mounds softly. Azula hummed, stretching her neck and providing him with a perfect opportunity to nibble on her pale skin.

"Someone's ready to humor my indecency, so… enjoy it, won't you?" she said, turning her head slightly to kiss his lips promptly. "You seemed to be in a dark mood, after all… I thought some fun at my expenses would ease your troubled mind."

"At your expenses?" Sokka smiled. "Almost sounds like you didn't enjoy it too."

"Oh, I certainly did, but… your peace of mind worries me more," she said, pressing her brow to his. "What happened at the Palace? You delivered the warning? Do you expect they'll heed it?"

"I hope so," Sokka said, sighing. "It looks like they'll set things up so the King will agree to meet me tomorrow. I'm not sure if Kuei's going to be receptive to anything I say, though… not sure anyone will be. It doesn't matter if everything we say is White Lotus information… they refuse to trust it simply because it's coming from us, of course."

"Simply because I'm involved in this, rather," Azula said, with a sigh. "If you were alone, this wouldn't be…"

"Don't talk like that. Don't say that. I'll never walk alone… not as long as I can walk beside you," Sokka whispered, pressing his brow to her shoulder.

"I know… I know. Not willingly, anyway," Azula said, with a slight smile. "Meaning I'll have to escape from you somehow, if I hope to help you be taken seriously by those fools, huh?"

"Don't even think about it," Sokka grunted: his hand squeezed her breast, and he tightened his other arm around her waist. Azula hummed appreciatively as he devoured her neck again.

"So possessive…" Azula smirked. Sokka growled threateningly before diving into her neck even more enthusiastically. "How ridiculous is it of me to find you even more appealing when you're being so unreasonable?"

"Very ridiculous, I'm sure," Sokka said, and she could feel him smiling against her skin. "Call me a clingy moron if you want, but… I need you. I don't know if you need me too, but… I know I need you. Nobody gets me the way you do. Nobody listens the way you do. Nobody inspires me as much… nobody gives me purpose the way you have. At this point… I'm sure I need you way more than you need me."

"Do you, now?" Azula whispered, turning around in his arms so she could face him directly. Sokka offered her a guilty smile. "Hmm. Maybe you do need me more than I need you. How very foolish of you to land yourself in such an unfavorable situation."

"It is, huh?" Sokka smiled sadly.

"And you put me in an awkward position as well," Azula sighed, running her fingers through his hair as she gazed into his eyes intently. "However shall I handle all this power you've granted me over you, Sokka?"

"Keep doing it the way you have over the past years and we'll be fine," Sokka smiled, pressing his lips to hers softly. "I… I love you."

It wasn't the first time he'd said the words – no, that had happened after another life-or-death mission where he had yanked her back to safety after she wound up dangling off a cliff by one arm, while the other dangled broken and limp on her side. It had taken her quite a few months to recover from that particular fight… as well as to process the confession that had shaken up their relationship deeply.

He said them sometimes, and he never seemed to expect to hear them back. Even if he hesitated before uttering them, he simply seemed to feel the need to utter that phrase. It soothed him, much as their lovemaking did. It felt right… and a part of Azula knew she'd feel the same way if she spoke them back to him. If she told him she felt the same way…

She hadn't done it before.

Maybe she could do so now.

Her fingers trailed over his face as she responded the way she always did: with a deep, heartfelt kiss. With gratitude and appreciation of his deepest emotions. With her cherishing of him, on every possible level…

"I love you too."

Maybe he should have known, then, that something wasn't quite right. Maybe he should have picked up on the signs, on the strange hints she had dropped for him earlier in their conversation, masqueraded behind dark jokes.

But his foolish heart, often so battered and broken by the hardships he had faced, came back to life with full strength, racing madly as he smiled at her. She returned the grin… and before she knew it, she was receiving him fully inside her as he made love to her anew, without relenting with his frenzy of kisses, rejoicing in the fact that she loved him. That she had finally said those words too, and that they were, yet again, equals within their circumstances… equals in their love.

Foolish thoughts pertaining marriage, retirement, who knew if even children, came to mind. They were hopes and dreams he hadn't let himself cling to, for he always thought he wasn't done atoning, wasn't done grieving and processing the most difficult choices he'd made, the darkest sacrifices, the cruelest kindness he had bestowed upon his countless enemies. But a world without enemies could be within reach in the future. She loved him… and that meant they could have a future together. They'd have a future…

Those thoughts accompanied him as he drifted into sleep peacefully in her arms.

He woke up alone on the next morning.

Her things were still in the room. She had dressed up and left at some point through the night… and in his placid relief about what had happened between them, Sokka hadn't noticed she was gone. He hadn't woken up with nightmares, with dark thoughts, with anxiety that wouldn't give him a moment's respite… all because of her. Because her words had appeased him, because he had clung to a hope, a belief that they could outgrow this period of their lives and build something truly beautiful from it…

He found her letter on his nightstand shortly after waking up. He rubbed his eyes violently, forcing them to focus on her handwriting, fear gripping him as he hoped it would be a simple note conveying she had gone shopping, or that she'd needed to sort out something menial with the innkeeper… but the length of it immediately revealed otherwise even before he started to read it.

Seven years of your life. You have given me that many, and that is far more than I expected to live at all after Zuko pronounced his sentence. For I did live… I lived in ways I never had before. I hope I helped you feel the same way.

But now I set you free. Your life is yours again. Rejoin your sister and the Avatar, all your friends… even my brother, if you so choose. You've done more than enough… more than anyone else ever had. You gave me purpose… and now I hope to return the favor by setting you free from all the expectations and demands of our professional partnership.

Thank you for the life you gave me. Thank you for loving me – no one else ever had. I'd never known what it felt like... what it would mean to be loved for real. Thanks to you, I understand it now. It was a feeble, fickle dream for one like me… but a dream I clung to all the same until you made it come true.

I fear that your love awoke my own. Believe it or not… I do this because of how I feel about you. Because of what I've learned by your side. Because this is the person I need to be now in order to save a world that will be as thankless to me as it ever has been to you.

Love is powerful, it seems… powerful enough to sacrifice everything for. So many have said that love is the true purpose of life… I disregarded those claims, failed to understand them, until I came upon you. Until I knew I never wanted to lose you. These feelings you've awoken in me… they will always belong to you. One day, perhaps when you're old and rusty, our spirits may find each other again, if there's such a thing as an afterlife. If there's not… then I suppose I will simply hope you live your life as best you can, and that my absence won't hurt you as deeply as to lead you to join me at once. Live… and when the time comes, rejoice in our common destiny. In knowing you'll be wherever I will be, oblivion or no.

I love you. Thank you for teaching me how to say those words. How to write them to you, too. I'd never done this before. I'd never loved anyone before.

Thank you.

I love you.

Goodbye.

...

She knew these catacombs. She knew this undercity. Her greatest achievement during the war had been attained there… so it seemed fitting, then, that the last piece of her atonement would bring her back to where so much had begun.

The truth about their mission had been a secret for Sokka. He hadn't known… she hadn't been allowed to share it. The leaders of the Order had conveyed far more information to her than they had to him… information that revealed the first stage of the Dai Li's plan would be set in motion that night, once all of Kuei's closest allies had arrived for his diplomatic meeting. Thus, the best way to stop it would be by striking well before they could make their move.

If only she hadn't taken so long with that letter, she might have been there earlier, before dawn… She sniffed, wiping the tears off her face as she progressed further, deeper into the catacombs: she was close now. She could hear the voices, the footsteps…

"… We have waited for this moment, Lord Long Feng. We apologize for our delay, but…"

"Apologize for your treachery. Throwing your lot with that wretched child Princess… it took too long for you to understand that only I would be able to rule this city. Only I am deserving of control and command over the Dai Li's forces."

"Yes, Lord Long Feng."

"All of you! As one!"

"Yes, Lord Long Feng!"

She breathed deeply as the former Grand Secretariat gave another self-congratulatory speech. The highest ranked among his minions revealed their strategic plans, which they would set in motion by sundown. Then, Long Feng took to rallying them yet again and the group of a hundred Dai Li, maybe less, answered Long Feng with firm voices when he expected them to do so, once the last of his speech was over…

And then a singular applause, slow and sarcastic, rang across the catacombs.

At once, the whole group turned towards the sound. She didn't step out into the open right away… electing to speak, instead.

"A most inspiring, eloquent speech. Have you rehearsed it many times in your prison cell? Even the inflections of your tone suggest you've practiced countless times to perfect your pretense, Long Feng."

"You…" Long Feng's brow furrowed: his hair was graying by now, especially after the long imprisonment he had been subjected to…

All of which Azula noticed as she stepped out into the open, with a satisfied smirk and a fireball of blue flames in her hand.

"Sad as it is… practice does not make perfect. Not where there's no potential worth perfecting, to begin with."

Long Feng would do it. He would waste his time and immolate his forces to destroy her… she could see it in his eyes. In the crazed, furious eyes that locked on her figure right before he raised a hand, pointing in her direction before bellowing his order for the Dai Li who had willfully returned to him:

"KILL PRINCESS AZULA, NOW!"

...

He had no time to waste. He had boarded the first train, rushed to the driver's cabin and threatened him, blatantly, to not stop at any stations and to take him to the Palace at once: a deadly black sword to the neck ensured his demands would be satisfied without question.

He arrived in a rush, racing past the guards who, this time, weren't as twitchy about letting him inside the Palace. He ran faster still across the stairs, rushing into the building…

A building that was trembling, a fact he only noticed once he slowed down to find his bearings and figure out where his sister and Aang might be.

"Fuck… fuck!" he roared. Whether the information the Order had given them was faulty or not… it had begun. Long Feng's forces were taking action.

He rushed into the Throne Room instinctively, and he nearly let relief wash over him upon finding that not only the king but his sister and her husband were within the room. The last two turned towards him: Aang had been about to use his seismic sense, judging by his position, but Sokka had interrupted him.

"Katara… Aang!" Sokka exclaimed.

"Sokka! Sokka, there's some sort of earthbending…!" Katara started. Sokka snarled as he turned towards Aang.

"Break the floor and let's make our way down! Now!" he said. Aang's eyes widened. "The Dai Li were coming, they were going to use the undercity to free Long Feng, they…!"

"What?! What manner of wild tales are these…?!" Kuei gasped, nervous on his feet. Aang raised a reassuring hand in the man's direction before stomping on the ground indeed…

He frowned… then his eyes widened.

"They're there. T-they're really underground," Aang said, meeting Sokka's eyes in horror.

"What?!" Kuei gasped.

"The vibrations are really earthbenders… they're fighting someone. Something. I…!"

"It's Azula!" Sokka exclaimed: Kuei's bad mood and utter shock only seemed to worsen then. "Aang, for everything you hold dear, every damn thing you owe me: split the ground open and help me save her!"

"T-that's not…!" Kuei started – of course he would argue against it, of course he'd let her sacrifice herself and save his own hide… for all that mattered was that he'd have the opportunity to gather his guards and put a stop to the Dai Li's schemes thanks to her sacrifice.

She had immolated herself by triggering the Dai Li, and Long Feng, into wasting their time fighting her, at first, rather than waiting to set their actual plan in motion and murdering the king.

"AANG!"

Sokka's harsh, cold urgency convinced the nervous Avatar to disregard the King's feelings: Kuei had nothing to do but yelp as Aang tore the floor apart, breaking a whole chunk of it… and letting it drop, heavily, atop a cluster of Dai Li forces, fighting harshly underground.

With that, the quaking stopped.

Dust rose everywhere in the Throne Room in the wake of the Palace's floor's heavy collapse: even if the broken floor hadn't been a wide area, it had crumbled in such a way that the earth and rocks had crushed numerous earthbenders beneath them. Aang gritted his teeth at the realization, immediately hoping they could be saved… but no such thoughts concerned Sokka as he jumped through the dust cloud, as he sortied past crushed and burnt corpses, frantically searching for one person, and one alone...

He found her through her cough: some of the debris of the collapsed tunnel had fallen near her, hiding her from view. He rushed in that direction, hacking away at any Dai Li agents who rose back to their feet, no doubt willing to fight still… and he refused to give them that chance. Not right now. Not when…

He finally came around the cluster of debris, and he found her huddled against it.

"Azula!"

His voice caused her to react at once. She raised her head… but her eyes seemed not to find him in the darkness of the catacombs, especially after the ceiling had collapsed upon the Dai Li in the middle of their fight.

"Can you hear me? Azula, can you…?" Sokka dropped heavily on his knees, sheathing his sword and cupping her cheeks carefully. "Azula?"

"S-Sokka…" she coughed again…

A trickle of red spilled down her lips.

He could barely see the magnitude of her wounds here. He couldn't grasp it properly right now, with such poor lighting… he snarled, tears of despair and anger burning in his eyes, in his throat…

He slid his arms underneath her body, hoisting her carefully against his chest. His sister and Aang had entered the tunnel as well, deeply confused, no doubt horrified by the severity of the conspiracy Sokka had warned them of, and that had struck before they were ready to defend against it…

"HELP!"

Sokka's voice brought both of them to glance at him in sheer panic: the broken woman in Sokka's arms bled from numerous wounds, and she seemed to have fallen unconscious by now. Tears streamed down his face as he rushed up to his friends, driven by an adrenaline, a need so much stronger than any he had known… a need to protect and save the woman he had wanted to spend his life with.

"Katara…!" Aang gasped: his wife was far from appreciative of Azula… but she didn't hesitate to uncork her waterskin, letting her glowing water bathe the fallen princess's wounds.

The light the water elicited shed even further light upon how damaged her body was: one of her legs appeared to be fractured. Her flank bled profusely. Her breathing was heavy, labored…

If they didn't do something, fast, she would die.

"Sokka, bring her here! Come!" Aang urged him, and the non-bender obeyed at once.

Katara continued to heal the wound on Azula's flank as best she could while Aang catapulted them upwards once more. They would urge Kuei to send his forces underground later… right now, Azula's life hung on the most dangerous thread of all.

Ba Sing Se was, thus, a pandemonium on that day. Numerous arrests were made, Long Feng was found crushed to death underneath the collapsed debris in the tunnel, guards rushed in and out of that hole, dragging all survivors out of the cavern while knowing, too, that several were likely to have escaped…

That would have surely bothered Azula, had she been aware of it.

Together, Aang, Katara and Sokka had taken to healing her as best they could. Sokka offered as much assistance as possible, mainly by slowing down the bleeding with a tourniquet in her leg, by applying pressure on her flank's wound, too, while Aang ensured to help Azula's breathing, keeping her body's system going even when it seemed moments away from giving out. Katara healed as much tissue as she could, and Sokka sought fresh water for her frequently, carrying more and more buckets for Katara to continue with the process of healing the firebender, removing whole shards of rock and debris that had been embedded in Azula's body throughout that battle.

But it wasn't enough. As exhausting as a whole day's worth of surgical procedures could be, there was no guarantee of success after all those hours of working to save Azula's life.

"It's too much damage," Katara told an anxious Sokka, who shook his head, rejecting her words. "I… I can't patch her up if she doesn't have enough chi to be patched. Her energy is basically… seeping out through her wounds, okay? Even with your efforts Sokka, some blood is still leaking and I can't…"

"Then stop the bleeding yourself," Sokka hissed. Katara scoffed.

"I've tried, but…!"

"Bloodbending!"

His declaration startled Katara: they had a few hours left before it was nighttime… but it would be a full moon that night. She had mentioned it yesterday… though not in connection to a skill she had never wanted to use again.

"Use it… to stop the bleeding! To help her!" Sokka pleaded. "Katara, please…!"

Katara snarled: she had never wanted to bloodbend again. It was one of the worst things she could do with her bending… but couldn't she kill people with ice or water, even with steam, just as well as she could with bloodbending? Couldn't she hurt others regardless of the bending power she used?

Just so… could she use bloodbending to save a life, rather than control it or take it?

"I… I'll try, but I don't know if it will work. It's still early, so…" Katara said: Sokka nodded, trembling as he gave Katara some space…

It didn't work for well over an hour. She resorted to some more waterbending healing instead, keeping Sokka pressing the severe, hemorrhaging wounds with cloths while she tested it again, until…

Until she finally found control, grip, within Azula's body. She gasped… and then she focused.

She mended the flank's wound, the more urgent one, first: it was clean now, so all they needed to do was stop the bleeding, heal the blood network underneath Azula's skin, bridge the tissue… and she did so with bloodbending. Once the damage was mostly amended, at least, as well as it could be, Sokka helped her stitch the wound. Then, she did the same with the leg – the ripped skin fell into place smoothly, so Sokka could proceed to stitch that, too. By then, exhausted and anguished, they still didn't know if she'd make it: Katara pumped Azula's heart through her bloodbending skills, offering it more strength than it likely had left while Aang still bent the air in and out of her lungs…

"We… have to stop doing it eventually. She has to be able to breathe and her heart has to beat without help," Katara said, looking at Sokka sternly. "Sokka…"

"I… I get it. I get it. You did… a lot of work. Thank you. Thank you," he said, gritting his teeth as he leaned close to Azula's limp, bloodied form.

He hovered by her ear, tears spilling down his cheek: deep dread nestled inside him as he spoke softly, as if expecting neither Aang nor Katara would hear him, even if they were, naturally, within earshot.

"That's about… about enough of scaring me shitless, you hear me?" he said. "That letter… that's no way to say goodbye, okay? It's not. So… come back to me. Come back… and say to my face that you don't want to be by my side, if that's how you feel. Say it and I'll let you go… I'll let you do anything you want. I won't… w-won't make you stay by my side anymore if you don't want me to, Azula, but just live. Just… just live. I can't… I can't lose you. I can't live on if you're gone, so don't even ask me to try… because I won't bother. So please… live. Live, my love, just live…"

He cried, and he pressed his lips to hers – he received nothing for an answer. He pressed his brow to hers… and his hand fell upon her left breast, where her heart had been beating so fiercely merely one day ago. Merely one night ago, when he had last given himself to her…

He sensed it when Katara started letting go. When Aang stopped pouring and withdrawing air from her lungs. Her breathing grew slower… her heartbeats fainter.

They didn't stop.

Her heart, weak, still beat when Katara stopped bending completely.

Her lungs still took in air, if less if it, when Aang stopped bending, too.

Sokka trembled as he gazed at her helplessly. He swallowed hard as tears of uncertainty now spilled down his face… as he pressed a soft kiss upon her shoulder.

And now, all he could do was wait.

...

"… hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here, I…! Katara! Katara, she's coming to, she's…! Oh, please, don't go, just stay with me…!"

...

"Azula? You… you hear me? Can you hear me? Azula…"

...

"… he can fuck himself."

"Sokka, he's the king, this is his palace, at least have enough sense not to insult him in his own home…"

"She's barely breathing and he wants to kick her out? He's a piece of shit, and I'll say it to his face just as I'll say it to you. She deserves better than this. She saved his pitiful hide, nearly died for him, and he's still throwing fits. Piece of shit…"

"Sokka… oh. Sokka, she's conscious."

"Azula? Azula…! Oh, spirits… stay with us, okay? Drink… drink some water. Katara, please…"

"On it, I'm on it…"

"You'll be okay. You'll be okay. I know this is weird and scary… but you'll be okay."

...

"Toph's made it. We can bring her over to Republic City safely now."

"Shit… thank you. Thank you. I… I know I've been unbearable for the past week, but… thank you."

...

The drift back into consciousness was gradual, interrupted, inconsistent. Sometimes she could stay awake for minutes… sometimes, she'd merely hear a few words before losing the battle against her exhaustion once more.

By the time she finally had a better grip on reality, the voices of children laughing rang somewhere in the place she was in. She opened her eyes with difficulty… to find herself in a wholly unknown location.

The only familiar thing in it was the man sitting by her bedside, hand holding hers.

He was unconscious, too. Pale, gaunt, dark bags under his eyes. In however long it had been since their last moments together, he seemed to have aged about ten years… she didn't want to imagine how much worse she looked, truth be told.

She tightened her grip on his hand. He snapped awake immediately.

"A… Azula. Azula…" he gasped, rubbing his eyes with his free hand before leaning closer to her… before smiling, and with that, the burden he seemed to carry lifted, if just slightly. "Oh, I missed your beautiful eyes. Azula…"

He kissed her, and she couldn't say a word before he stepped away from her, calling for his sister. The waterbender showed up shortly afterwards, healed Azula as best she could all over again, and tasked Sokka with feeding her and ensuring she remained hydrated. Her presence daunted Azula… even if she sensed little hostility from the woman as she treated her. Still…

Still, there was too much Azula had to answer for. Too much she hadn't told Sokka, and that he surely would be cross about once she did. She didn't feel strong enough to speak… but she also feared speaking at all, knowing there would be consequences once she did it, immediate ones, at that.

Consequences she had meant to escape in a cowardly manner, for she hadn't known what else to do. Not anymore, anyway.

She recovered steadily for a few weeks: in that time, she grew familiar with the voices of Bumi and Kya as they screamed and played all over Air Temple Island. In that time, she grew used to Aang's presence as he visited her, eager to help her recovery through spiritual meditation techniques he taught her… it helped, certainly, for she fell asleep without fail through most of them. She grew more comfortable with Katara's visits, too, as she provided Azula with healing sessions that served to diminish the worse of the pain – for it felt worse every day, no matter if she was supposed to be recovering. Her leg, stuck in a cast, was uncomfortable, stiff, and more than anything, painful. Her flank ached with every breath she took, and she had no idea how much blood she had lost, for it felt like it had been too much, going by her constant exhaustion…

The one thing she didn't need to get used to, of course, was Sokka: he was with her constantly, holding her hand, brushing her hair, speaking of anything and everything that crossed his mind. He had a knack, of course, for telling her she was beautiful – she showed her personality in spades to him whenever he did that, leveling a sharp glare in his direction for it and prompting him to chuckle as he kissed her brow. He also kissed her lips often, with no regard as to who else might be in the room… he didn't care if they found out, then. If anything, perhaps he was keen on reveling their relationship to everyone… a wrong choice on his part, she feared, and yet she was powerless to stop him. The affection in his behavior almost felt like that of a husband, Azula suspected, no matter if she had never experienced marriage before…

She didn't know how much time had passed since her fight against the Dai Li and Long Feng when she finally dared speak again. Her first words came in the wake of another of Sokka's kisses, one she reciprocated lightly.

"I have no idea if this will help you heal, but… Aang says love is the best medicine, apparently?" Sokka had said, playfully. "Still, if you want me to stop, just blink twice or so. I'm being an idiot and I just… I've always liked kissing you. But if you need me to stop…"

"Don't…"

Sokka's eyes widened. Azula swallowed dryly, with difficulty, before her raspy voice left her throat again.

"Don't stop."

Sokka's eyes, tearful, closed as he leaned in again and again, kissing her repeatedly, holding her affectionately – he was a strange balm against pain, for as long as his lips brushed hers, her wounds fell to the wayside. All thought of pain would be easier to ignore… as long as he continued to offer her his kindness this way, nothing else seemed to matter.

But unfortunately, something still did.

About a month since she first spoke, Sokka seemed to have enough of mysteries and of being in the dark about what had happened in Ba Sing Se. He sat by her bedside that evening, holding her hand as he always did… but a deeper, darker atmosphere hung between them, and not only because night was falling.

"They… gave you other orders, didn't they?" Sokka asked. Azula swallowed hard. "I'm sorry to bring this up now, but… it's been three months. They haven't reached out with new missions… haven't tried to contact me at all, even when it's plain and clear that I'm here, at my sister's place. If no one else, Iroh could've reached out to me… and he hasn't. You were reckless… but you could only afford to be because you knew something I didn't. Right?"

Azula breathed deeply: the pain in her ribs stung her for it, but she lowered her gaze in obvious guilt. Sokka stroked the back of her hand gently with his thumb.

"I'm not mad at you," Sokka whispered, cupping her face with his other hand. She shut her eyes tightly upon hearing those words. "I… I could never be. I just… I just want you safe. I need you safe, and… and whatever you decided to do that night, we could've done it together. We could've succeeded together… but that wasn't what they told you to do, was it?"

Azula swallowed hard again. Her grip on his hand tightened as she refused to meet his gaze, eyes still closed.

"I… am a liability," she said. Sokka frowned. "You'll say otherwise, you'll say you need me… but the world doesn't. Nothing I do is ever enough… nothing I dare do would ever be enough. You've given me chances on top of chances to help me prove myself, to change, to put my darkness to better use… but Zuko still wants me imprisoned. Kuei likely grieved when he learned of my survival, for I'm sure he would have rejoiced if I had died. My being here… it makes no sense either. Zuko's going to… to issue some demand to the Avatar so that I'm delivered to him, isn't he? And then everything we've avoided for the past seven years will happen anyway. I…"

"You were headed to your death," Sokka said, firmly. Azula gritted her teeth. "That letter you left me… it allowed no other interpretation. You… you were ready to die, Azula. But I'm… I'm not ready to let you do that. I don't think I ever will be. I… you're…"

"Sokka…" she said, finally opening her eyes to find him covering his mouth with a hand – his face was flushed as tears bloomed in his eyes at the very notion of losing her. "You could've had… a much brighter life than this if it weren't for me. You've given me seven years… the darkest and yet greatest seven years of my wretched existence. That's… that's seven more years than I ever thought I'd get. Seven more years of actual… actual life rather than imprisonment. I'm grateful for it… of course I am, Sokka, but I can't… I can't do this to you anymore. I can't… can't let you waste your potential when you could be living a better life if only I weren't…"

"I chose this life. I chose you myself," Sokka said, his voice strong, no matter if it was charged with tears. "I didn't know all along that it'd come to this… that I'd love you like this. But I chose you… because I don't care about becoming the poster child of politics in Republic City, or the next chief in line of the South Pole if I can only become those things by forsaking you."

"I… I'm not worth this much, Sokka," Azula said: tears were blooming in her eyes as well. "Anyone would tell you… anyone would know I'm not. I've done… heinous things. I just… I just…"

"You've done brilliant things too. I've seen many of them myself," Sokka said, firmly, cupping her cheek again. "You're worried that I won't live up to my potential? Well, I won't let you die without making sure you can live up to yours."

"This world… doesn't want me. I have no place here. I have no place anywhere," Azula said, shaking her head lightly. "I don't belong… anywhere. And I've dragged you into it for too long, and even if you say you chose me, Sokka, this isn't… it isn't right. It isn't fair. I… I love you too much to let you do this to yourself any longer, okay? Just… just stop. Stop fighting for me. I'm not worth it."

Sokka's frown nearly hid his eyes behind his heavy brows. He shook his head, disapprovingly, in utter disagreement with her words...

He released her hand and rose to his feet.

"You don't get to decide that," Sokka said, firmly. Azula swallowed hard as she gazed up at him. "Neither do the White Lotus, the Fire Lord, the King of Ba Sing Se or the King of Omashu…! None of them get to decide you're not worth it. Because as long as there's an idiot stubborn enough out there to see you for the incredible, inspiring, extraordinary woman you are… as long as that happens, it means you do have a place in this world. It means you have a place by my side. I've lost… I've lost enough as it is. I've broken my soul a million times over just to save a world that only keeps getting worse and worse. I'm… I'm tired. I'm done cleaning up everyone else's messes from the shadows. They, Azula... they're the ones who aren't worthy of us. Of everything we could do. Of everything we've offered them. I'm done being taken for granted. I'm done being the wall they rest on, the wall that gets shot full of arrows while everyone else sleeps soundly behind me. And if you have no place in this world… then neither do I. And that means we can go on and build one for ourselves, together."

She sat in silence, watching him with reluctance, with uncertainty. Sokka swallowed hard as he leaned over her again, pressing his lips to hers.

"I love you," he said, firmly. Her heart, so weak, tingled upon hearing those words, knowing them to be true. "There's something I have to do now. I'll be back as soon as it's done."

"Back? Sokka…" Azula trembled, raising a hand to clasp his shirt. "Don't. T-take me too, don't… don't leave me here. Don't…"

"You'll be okay. They'll look after you," Sokka said, kissing her brow. "I have to do this. For the both of us."

Azula gritted her teeth but didn't plead again. She clung to him with more strength than she knew she had left in her… she dragged him into her bed with her, and Sokka held her as she wept until she fell asleep.

On the next morning, it was Azula who woke up to find herself alone.

...

"Sokka… we can explain."

"Fuck your explanations: you sent me with my partner to Ba Sing Se without telling me your entire purpose was to have her killed?!"

The White Lotus's leadership had changed very little over the years – a new member had joined the group, though he was as good as a total stranger to Sokka. The familiar ones, Jeong Jeong, Piandao, Iroh and Pakku, gazed at him with remorse – it was stupid of Sokka to wonder if the old king Bumi would have, perhaps, agreed with him, were he still alive… but he wondered about that, nonetheless.

"The Princess… is a highly dangerous individual," said the newcomer, whose name always slipped Sokka's mind – and after this, Sokka was even more keen on making sure he'd never remember it.

"No fucking kidding: I've fought by her side for seven years, I know exactly how dangerous she can be," Sokka hissed – and that danger made her the greatest partner he could have asked for.

"It's not so simple," Jeong Jeong said, with a heavy sigh. "The Princess joined us to atone for her actions during the war. Most of that atonement has been handled in secrecy, with missions meant for stealth, to settle gruesome affairs that cannot be handled through more diplomatic means. The two of you have handled yourselves well… but try as we have to convince the Fire Lord and the Earth King of the value of the Princess's actions, they remain unmoved."

"Have you actually tried?" Sokka asked, glaring at Jeong Jeong. "Or is this an excuse to pretend that you guys have done far more work to help her than you actually did?"

"Sokka…" Iroh sighed. "I understand how difficult it is to accept this, but the truth is that the world leaders at large have pressured us for years to hand her over. The Water Tribes weren't impacted by her choices personally, no, but the leaders in Republic City wish to ensure she faces justice too, just as all war criminals have, and…"

"Oh, have they? Last I knew, Grand Lotus, you own a teashop in Ba Sing Se even when you led the siege that meant to starve a city and then raze it to the ground," Sokka snapped. "Piandao and Jeong Jeong? You two were part of the Fire Nation war machine as well, and nobody's asking for your heads on stakes anymore. Zuko had a change of heart in a matter of months… and everyone accepted him no matter how much harm his chase of me, my sister and the Avatar caused, not only to us, but to the rest of the world. I… I'm not pretending her actions were any less harmful than they were: but after fifteen years, seven of which she has spent giving her every effort to fulfilling your missions and proving she isn't as far gone as everyone pretends she is, she's still a menace that needs to be destroyed while the lot of you get away with a slap on the wrist? And then you push her to die to atone for her sins? That's how it works?"

The group fell silent. Sokka's chest heaved as he glared at each of them in turn… as Pakku swallowed hard.

"I fear the fallen Princess may not be more harmful than any of us are," the waterbender said. "But politics work this way, Sokka. It's gruesome, unpleasant… cruel in many ways. Fear… that's what guides King Kuei and Fire Lord Zuko to make the choices they have. We have made efforts to help… but they refuse to heed our counsel altogether. Azula's orders were different from yours… so that you'd be spared. She asked for that, personally. Without her, you'll be able to reclaim all the privileges you lost because of your association with Azula. All the opportunities that have been denied to you… they'll be back on the table now, Sokka. Zuko will be open to reconciliation with you if you only…"

"Who the hell told that bastard I wanted to reconcile with him in the first place?" Sokka hissed. Pakku sighed. "What makes him think I need him in my life at all? I don't. I'd choose her over him without question. What kind of brother makes it his purpose to destroy his sister's life? What kind of Fire Lord does he expect to be if this is what his attempts to 'reconnect to the goodness of his family' amount to? Fire Lord Ozai would be so fucking proud of him if he knew Zuko's making sure to let his resentment, jealousy and rage at Azula guide him… I bet he actually is proud. Sounds like the Fire Nation hasn't changed as much as it should have if that's the kind of guy who leads it."

"Sokka… Zuko is better than that," Iroh said, shaking his head. "He's complicated, yes, difficult when it comes to Azula, but that doesn't mean…"

"Shut up," Sokka hissed. Iroh frowned. "You… you're not blameless. And you're as biased as I am, if that's what you're going to say next. You've given your dear nephew every chance to live and thrive and make something of himself… while you sent your niece to die in Ba Sing Se to save the King's life. The very king who wanted her dead so badly that he still doesn't fucking realize that she's the only reason why his city didn't wind up in Long Feng's control all over again while his corpse was bled dry and made an example of in the gates of Ba Sing Se's Palace. So…"

"Sacrifices have to be made in order to keep the world safe. That is the crux of your role in the White Lotus, and it always has been."

Jeong Jeong's intervention startled even the other leaders of the White Lotus: his eyes were firm upon Sokka, unyielding… merciless.

Where Sokka was initially filled with cold dread upon hearing those words, a rush of wild anger took its place in a matter of instants.

"Is that so?" Sokka asked, trembling.

He pulled something out of his pocket, tossing it in the air. The White Lotus tile flipped multiple times as it rose higher, and it continued to spin as gravity reclaimed it.

Then, it split in half as Space Sword swung through it vertiginously quickly.

The two shards of the tile fell at either side of Sokka. His furious glare didn't leave the stunned Jeong Jeong, not even for a second.

"Keep them," Sokka said, gesturing at the shards with the tip of his sword. "Make sure they serve as a reminder of what pieces of shit you all are, the next time you decide someone else's life is worth sacrificing for the greater good of a world that's just as worthless as the whole lot of you are."

For a moment, no one moved. No one spoke. It seemed as though they expected that blade to slay them, next… but Sokka sheathed it, instead. He shook his head before offering them a curt bow of his head, so light it almost felt insignificant.

"I hereby resign from my post in the Order of the White Lotus… as does Azula."

"Sokka, wait," Piandao said, swallowing hard as he stepped forward. "I know this is a grave situation, but…"

"She will be helpless without us," growled Jeong Jeong. "The White Lotus's protection is the only thing keeping her alive and safe from the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation's demands…"

"Oh, rest assured: I'll be the one to protect her now. From everyone who means her harm," Sokka hissed, glaring at each of them in turn. "Whether from cowardly heads of state… or from cowardly old men who want everyone else to do their dirty work only to kill them whenever it suits them. We don't need the White Lotus… maybe we never did."

He didn't listen to any other pleas as he marched to the door, turning his back on the initiative he had devoted over ten years of his life to… the initiative through which he had, admittedly, found a way to save Azula from the devastating fate she was likely to face at first.

But not like this. No more. He had grievances, struggles, trauma he had barely even acknowledged after the countless criminals and threats he'd been forced to kill… he had given the Order far more than he ever should have. A world as rotten as theirs didn't deserve to take as much from him as it had… and he refused to let it steal the woman he loved. He had lost enough… he had lost enough.

He wouldn't lose Azula.

...

"How's it feeling?" Katara asked. Azula, tense and uneasy, didn't reject the waterbender's healing upon her flank's wound – it always helped smooth over the pain, which was finally starting to dwindle.

"It's… it's better. Slightly," Azula said, curtly. Katara sighed.

"It was a lot of damage. That we kept you alive is… is nothing short of a miracle," Katara said. Azula gritted her teeth.

"Why did you?" Azula asked. "You… could've let me die. Should've, if you ask the world leaders, so…"

"I… I don't turn my back on people who need me. Even if it's people I'm not fond of," Katara said, swallowing hard. "I suppose I… I really could have told Sokka I wouldn't help you. I could have refused, and… and I wouldn't have a brother anymore, I suppose. He would have never had anything to do with me again… and he would have been right to feel that way."

"Would he?" Azula said. "Aren't I just… more trouble than I'm worth?"

"I would've thought so before this," Katara said. "Though if I said that to Sokka, he probably would have never spoken to me again. I told him to give up on your jobs for the White Lotus many times. He's been weighed down by it for even longer than he's been with you, you know? I have no idea what the hell they've tasked the two of you to do… but I do know it's taken a toll on him, a really bad one. And I just… I wanted him to be okay. To be happy, to have a better life, and I thought his strange sense of responsibility towards you was stopping him. I guess… you thought so too? As far as I've understood… you just went on this mission on your own, expecting to die? Thinking… that you might set him free if you did?"

Azula breathed deeply and shrugged slightly. Katara gritted her teeth.

"Nobody needs me. He thinks he does, but… he's wrong," Azula whispered. "He's… in love with me. Hell knows why someone would do such a thing as falling in love with me, but… he is. He cares. He cares too much for his own good. He could have anyone else. Someone who wouldn't cause him to get exiled by proxy from virtually all nations…"

"He cares too much, then… and do you?" Katara asked. Azula winced. "Do you love him too?"

Azula's lips trembled as she tried to hold back the tears. She covered her mouth with a hand, as her throat seemed to thicken…

"You do, don't you?" Katara said: her eyes widened as Azula covered her face fully with her hands.

"He… he's too good for me. He deserves better than me… he should know that. He should accept that, but…" Azula said, trembling violently.

"He… he deserves better than everything he's had to face in life," Katara said, softly, gritting her teeth. "He's become so… ruthless. So cold. For a long time, we've pretended it's your fault, that you're the one having so much influence on him, hurting him, and he's too stubborn to admit it. But… I guess we had it wrong. You weren't the one who was breaking him, but… but the one keeping him together. The one giving his life meaning when he lost sight of it. You say he doesn't need you, but… after everything that's happened lately, I don't want to know who my brother would be without you."

"Sokka… Sokka would be okay without me. It would hurt, but he would…" Azula said. Katara shrugged.

"I would've thought so too… because he was fine after Yue. He was fine after mom died. He was fine after… after everything, felt like," Katara said, shaking her head: Azula eyed her warily, and Katara breathed deeply. "But he wasn't, was he? He just… bottled everything up. And I was too blind to see it. He was my brother, so… I just took for granted that he'd be okay. His heart was strong, I never questioned that… but maybe I assumed it was stronger than it was. Just… just as everyone assumed you were stronger than you were, too. Is that why you two… why you came to understand each other this way? Why you worked together for so long? Because, somehow, you're the same? You've been sidelined in the same way?"

"I… I don't know. And honestly… you don't need to pity me or compare me to him, I… I'm not like him," Azula said, swallowing hard. "If I were… I would've made something better of myself. I drag him down, doesn't matter if he can't see it. I'm… stunting him. I'm keeping him stuck in a place where he shouldn't be, all because he decided I deserved a second chance while the rest of the world is sure I don't. It… it convinced me that I don't, too, so… why waste away trying to save me? Tell him… convince him. Tell him to stop. I'm not worth it. I'm not…"

"You sacrificed yourself in such a way that you nearly died to save the city you once conquered," Katara said, frowning. "Zuko… he sacrificed himself to save me from your lightning that time, remember? It was like… like he was making up for all the times he had been the one to attack us, to chase us, to hound us: what you did was fundamentally no different. So… I don't know, Azula. Maybe…"

"Maybe I've changed?" Azula scoffed, glaring at her. "I… I haven't. Not nearly as much as you could think I…"

"No… maybe you haven't," Katara said, gritting her teeth. "But maybe it's the first time I'm looking at you for who you are, and not for who I've been led to believe you to be."

Azula froze: she stared at Katara's eyes… eyes that were kinder than before. Not as kind as Sokka's, no… but they were strikingly similar to his, nonetheless.

"Don't… don't you start too. Bad enough that Sokka thinks I… that he somehow convinced himself I'm a better person than I am, you can't…" Azula said, shaking her head. Katara sighed, shaking hers too.

"Don't worry, I am second-guessing myself about that too, every bit as much as you are," Katara said, with a weak smile. "Look… it's just not fair to you that we've never let you prove yourself at all. We were always ready for you to turn on us, to hurt us, to be a hazard somehow. I guess… maybe Zuko worried us less because he wasn't as smart as you."

"Huh… and now you compliment me."

"I suppose," Katara laughed softly. "He was a dangerous firebender, yeah… but the rest of us were growing stronger, too. If he'd done anything out of line, we would have stopped him. With you, though… I guess we felt like you'd be able to defeat us all. And if you say you could have…"

"I… might have, before."

"Oh, shut up," Katara huffed. Azula smiled slightly. "The point is… maybe we've seen you and treated you as a threat for too long. Maybe… maybe it's time to see you for who you really are. To let you make your own choices. And if you fuck up… well, you'll face the consequences. But if you don't… maybe the rest of the world will finally see what Sokka saw. Because… he did give you a chance. And he doesn't regret it."

"He… he should," Azula said, gritting her teeth. "He should. He could do better…"

"Maybe… but he's in love with you, and he definitely disagrees on that front," Katara said, with a sad smile. "I'm sorry if we've caused you more anguish than you should've felt… I know I've been harsh with Sokka about you, and… I never really tried to see your side. If my behavior had anything to do with your choice to die in the hopes that you might redeem yourself by it, and to set Sokka free from being your partner, too? Well… I'm really sorry. I don't know if it did, but…"

"Not as much as you might think," Azula said. "My orders were… they were clear. I agreed with them."

"Well… then I hope I can help Sokka out by convincing you that they weren't worth agreeing with," Katara said, swallowing hard. "I mean… it'll be weird, having you for a sister. But it might be fun… right until you and Sokka start plotting and scheming to prank me with one thing or another, of course. You'd think I have plenty of practice because of Toph, but honestly…? You're never ready for that sort of thing."

"And you're telling me this so that I can start plotting as much already?" Azula asked. Katara smiled slightly. "You're terribly masochistic, if so."

"I… I guess I'm just feeling weird about all this," Katara said, biting her lip. "Thinking that… that even if indirectly, I might have led someone to think they were better off dead? That all of us might have…? We're just… demanding that you redeem yourself, with no clue of how you've gone about it, how many other people you've saved the way you saved Kuei. At this point… aren't we the ones who should do better by you? Redeem ourselves, in your eyes?"

"I doubt that," Azula said, frowning. "You're not not to blame for this. Whatever I've done, whoever I've become, your opinion on the matter… it has nothing to do with my choices. Redeeming yourself…? You don't… you don't owe me anything. Nobody does."

Katara smiled. She raised a hand to clasp Azula's, gently, as the other retained the glowing water over Azula's healing wound.

"If that's truly how you feel… then I'm afraid you're already a way better person than I thought you were. So thanks for proving me wrong," she said. Azula raised her eyebrows.

"Huh… was that some sort of test, then?" she asked. Katara chuckled, shrugging enigmatically. "To find out what kind of person I really was? Heh. And then you think I'm the one who schemes and connives…"

"Well, I never said I didn't do it sometimes, too," Katara pointed out, smirking. Azula scoffed… though she smiled slightly, too.

She couldn't remember the last time she had genuinely smiled at anyone other than Sokka.

...

"How is she? Has she made any progress?" Sokka asked Aang anxiously: the Avatar had surprised him by picking him up at the shores of Republic City once he arrived, and Appa sped away towards Air Temple Island now. "Her wounds…"

"They're healing. And she's doing a little better, yeah," Aang smiled reassuringly. "You'll see it for yourself in just a bit."

"I… thank you. I know I've been… kind of a dick this whole time," Sokka said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry for that, Aang, I just…"

"You don't have to apologize. You were doing your best to save a life," Aang smiled, glancing at him from over his shoulder. "And I think… maybe doing that has saved you too, more than working for the White Lotus ever did."

Sokka frowned at the remark: he had certainly done his best to help Azula… and only then had his work with the White Lotus started to gain true meaning, in all its darkness. Only then, when he had a partner who lived and fought alongside him, had he found the purpose he had long failed to understand…

Appa groaned as they came closer to the island: the temple was still small, built with architecture meant to honor the Air Nomads. The natural courtyards were pristine, peaceful, even when two kids liked to run across them wildly… but right now, those kids ran past two grown women who were taking in some fresh air, too.

Sokka's breath caught: Katara was pushing a wheelchair through a courtyard, while telling Bumi and Kya to not run so recklessly, it seemed. And the one sitting on that wheelchair…

He could barely breathe as they landed: he leapt off Appa's saddle and rushed to that wheelchair: Azula's eyes widened once she saw him, a burst of relief in her golden gaze… as well as some apprehension, knowing he had meant to do something he might regret in time.

But he regretted nothing: his hands cupped her cheeks as he reached her, dropping on his knees before her as he laughed in tearful relief. He pressed a few brisk kisses upon her lips, without so much as saying a word… and Azula clutched at his arms once he embraced her, hoping to keep him with her.

"It's done…" Sokka whispered. Azula swallowed hard. "It's over. We're… we're not agents anymore. We're not theirs to control anymore."

"But…" Azula gritted her teeth as Sokka pulled back, with a gentle smile. "What now? W-what will we do now? Sokka… I can't go back to the Fire Nation. Zuko will go to war with the United Republic, w-with your sister, with the Avatar, if I stay here…"

"There's one place that will take you. One place where you'll be safe," Sokka smiled, his brow pressed to hers. "Once you've healed… that's where we'll go."

She didn't ask where. She didn't need to, not solely because she already suspected what Sokka's intent would be… but because wherever he would lead, she would follow. Wherever he wished to go, she'd make sure to be with him. Whether she had a place in this world or not, she didn't know yet… but he meant to build a place for her by his side, and that was enough for Azula.

...

"I know this is crazy. I know you might think I'm rushing in on things that I shouldn't be reckless with… but I've made my choice, Dad. I just… I hope you can accept it."

Hakoda frowned. His son knelt across him in the sitting room of the largest government building of the South Pole, his home. Sokka hadn't visited it often since he had joined the White Lotus, and he knew coming back this way was hardly the best way of going about things… but he hoped his father would understand, regardless.

"There's… a bounty on her head," Hakoda said. Sokka flinched. "One in the Earth Kingdom, dead or alive… another in the Fire Nation, which seems to prefer her alive. Republic City harbored her for… six months, you say? And now it's in the middle of a political turmoil because of it. So… you've turned to me. And you hope that I'll help you sort this out… but I'm not sure that I have the power, no matter how much stronger the Southern Water Tribe may be compared to what it was during the times of the war, to withstand the combined might of the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation's rage."

"I'm aware of that," Sokka said, breathing deeply.

"And you're still hoping that we'll harbor her safely here, regardless," Hakoda said.

"I'm hoping… that you'll welcome the woman I intend to marry."

Hakoda frowned. Sokka shuddered, raising his gaze nervously towards his father.

"Zuko's claim on her is staked firmly on her belonging to the Fire Nation. I know she feels her connection to her nation has been destroyed, made worse by Zuko's behavior and rejection. She may be a Fire Nation citizen, technically… but she finds no true belonging there, not when her own brother seems to want her locked down without her bending and forsaken for good. The Earth Kingdom has failed to capture her simply because the White Lotus protected her, which means… the White Lotus had some power over the circumstances as a neutral party. The Water Tribe would be a neutral party, just as well. When I ask her… if she says she'll marry me, Dad, it means she'll be Water Tribe by marriage. She will be my wife. I… I know how difficult this is to accept, I know why you'd feel apprehensive about it, but I swear to you… I love her. I love her madly. I never thought I could need someone the way I need her. Life here won't be easy…? Well, it wasn't while we were on the road either. So… we can adjust, we can help, we can…"

"Sokka…"

"Please. Please. I… I beg you. Not just as your son… but as a member of this Tribe. Please… let her build a home here. Let us build a home here. W-we'll help with whatever you need… we'll protect this place. If Zuko fucking tries to reach into the Tribe to find her, I'll chase him away myself. But please…"

It was likely unnecessary to as good as grovel on the ground before his father. To beg and plead… when his father wasn't bound to show him as much mercilessness as Zuko and Kuei would. But he was his only choice… for, without Hakoda's help, Sokka and Azula would have nowhere to go. Nowhere to run, nowhere to live… nothing left but each other. They had certainly lived that way long enough… but it would be far more difficult, far more dangerous, without the White Lotus's support. Sokka knew that leaving had been the right choice, for their protection had been a matter of convenience… withdrawn as soon as protecting Azula had grown to be more difficult than letting her die.

So this was their only choice… their only hope.

"Sokka… sit up, please," Hakoda said, his voice deep and serene. Sokka obeyed, gazing at his father helplessly. "You… you have been through too much in your years of serving the White Lotus, I can see that. There's… a pain, a vacancy in your eyes that wasn't there, not even after fighting in the war. My son… you have a place here, and you always will. You can heal here… you can find safety in our home. I will be with you, and I will protect you… and I will extend that protection to the woman you wish to marry, should she agree to your proposal."

Sokka's heart jolted in his chest. Tears of relief spilled down his face as he smiled… and so did Hakoda, reaching over to take his son's hand in his.

"I will accept your offer to help us… for we will need help fending off the Earth King and the Fire Lord's likely outbursts once they learn she is here," Hakoda said. "Even if you're the one pleading for her acceptance, and for her to become part of the Tribe… we're certain to have trouble once they assume she's using us as a shield. Do you have plans on how to handle this problem?"

"I… I don't," Sokka admitted. Hakoda breathed deeply and sighed.

"I saw her just now, with Bumi and Kya," he said – the sounds of their voices drifted from the lower level of the building, as well as the voices of Katara and Aang, who had traveled here with them. "I may be wrong… but she doesn't feel like a dangerous killer to me."

"She… she is one every bit as much as I am," Sokka said, gritting his teeth. "The only difference is no one wants me dead… and that I was born in a better place than she was."

"Fortunately, we live in a world where your place of birth doesn't have to be your place of death… but is she alright with never going back to the Fire Nation? With never going home?" Hakoda asked. Sokka bit his lip.

"I don't know… I really don't know," he said. "Though… she no longer calls it her home. Hasn't for a while now."

"Well… I hope she'll feel differently about the Water Tribe," Hakoda said, with a gentle smile. "But if she doesn't… we'll still arrange matters to free her from their demands. I can't guarantee that there will ever be a pardon… but I do believe there's hope yet that Zuko might see sense."

"I don't know about that…" Sokka said, but Hakoda smiled at him.

"Zuko's adamant about not giving Azula another chance… so don't be as stubborn as him, son, and give him one yourself," he said. Sokka winced. "If we play our cards right… he might finally come around."

"And if he doesn't?" Sokka asked.

"Then we'll still keep her safe here, provided that it's where she wants to be," Hakoda said. Sokka gritted his teeth and nodded.

"Thank you… thank you, Dad. I… I know I can count on you, but the last years have been…"

"Don't worry about it anymore, son," Hakoda said, smiling as he closed the distance between himself and his son with a tight hug. "We're family, you and I… and if she is your family too, then she has a place here and always will. I promise."

Sokka wept in relief in his father's arms, letting himself be vulnerable for a good, long moment of relying on someone else for strength. If his father agreed… then the hardest part was over. They'd have a home… a place to live in, as long as Azula wanted it too.

He found her downstairs shortly afterwards, and she seemed wary at once when she noticed he'd been crying. He held her, hugging her, reassuring her that everything would be alright, while Hakoda took to setting up the next meal, aided by Aang, Katara and their children.

Sokka took Azula out into the icy streets anew while the others worked. His hand held hers as he guided her to the frozen shores: what had once been a small village was a thriving city these days. Azula's nervousness upon being anywhere public, without hiding her identity, was palpable and understandable, too. Sokka smiled kindly at her, squeezing her hand and leading her to a beautiful cliff, from where they could see the sunset in the horizon… a sunset that would last multiple days, of course, the way it was in the South Pole, right until daylight fled entirely for the next six months.

"I know it won't be easy for you to live without sunlight," Sokka said. Azula breathed out slowly, the air white and foggy before her lips. "And it's really cold down here, but…"

"We've done well fighting off the cold in the past," she said. Sokka smiled and nodded. "Maybe we can do it again."

"Maybe," Sokka whispered, his mitten tightening around Azula's hand. "You really want to stay here, then? For the foreseeable future, at least?"

"Would you wish to stay here from now on, too?" Azula asked, puzzled. Sokka swallowed hard and nodded.

"I believe so," he said. "I never thought I'd come back permanently like this, but… I think I need this. I need to be here for some time. It feels… safer, I suppose. I just figured that you might feel the same way about the Fire Nation. So, if you do…"

"I don't."

Sokka's words faltered as he gazed at Azula. She turned towards him, eyes heartfelt and honest.

"The Fire Nation never… never made me feel the way I have while I've traveled with you. We were homeless… sometimes aimless. But we had each other, and that was enough. It was all I needed, even if I didn't realize it right away. I thought I… I thought I cared for my country, for my people, but after everything that's happened, I feel like I've been estranged from them for too long to feel like that bond still exists…"

"Azula…"

"So… I don't need the Fire Nation. And if you do need the Water Tribe… if they're better to you than the Fire Nation has been to me, then all the better, Sokka," Azula whispered, gazing at him earnestly. "I… I will stay with you, for as long as you want me."

"I want you forever," Sokka said. Azula's eyebrows rose: it wasn't as though he had ever said anything to imply otherwise, but his earnest words surprised her all the same. "I know I always will. You're my partner… my companion, so dear to me I can't even fathom a life without you. That… that you made me fathom it at all with what you did in Ba Sing Se was…"

"I'm sorry for that, Sokka, I… I didn't want to hurt you, I wanted what was best for you, but…"

"You are. I don't care if other people disagree… you are what's best for me," he whispered, brushing her hair from her face gently. "You remember the day I found you? When you were deep in that forest, when we fought…"

"I… I nearly set your hair on fire," Azula said. Sokka smiled and nodded.

"And I ripped your fancy cloak…"

"It wasn't fancy, it was already tattered…"

"And I stepped on you."

"You did. You certainly did. And then I screamed and slapped you across the face for it."

"Admittedly, the scream was so loud it hurt more than the slap, and that hurt too," Sokka chuckled. Azula smiled, biting her lip. "After we'd fought… after you were too tired to keep going, I realized you hadn't eaten in days."

"And you shared your jerky," Azula remembered. Sokka smiled. "It… wasn't that bad."

"You said you hated it, though…"

"And then I ate most of it, so what does that tell you?"

"That you were desperate for food?" Sokka asked. Azula grimaced but shrugged. "We talked properly for the first time that night. You told me why you wouldn't go home… why you couldn't go back. You said you feared you'd lost the right to even call it that… and I blindly promised you that your brother would take you in, since he'd been forgiven for his mistakes in the past. You… you told me you'd accept any fate other than the asylum. I promised I'd ensure that wouldn't happen… because I believed, plainly, that Zuko wouldn't do that. But then… he tried. And then he went and found a worse alternative, too. An alternative that implied you were… that you were as bad as your father. As unforgivable as him, in his eyes. If any of us had thought the same of him, the Fire Nation wouldn't have a Fire Lord. And believe me… he gave us plenty of cause to think so. I had my grievances with him… but I decided to withhold them for the sake of our common goal, at first. So I was blinded by idealism, by hope…

"And then he threw all that hope in my face," Sokka said, shaking his head. "I… I could've done nothing. I could've said nothing. I could've cowered away from the wrath of a man I thought was my ally… my friend. But…"

"But you broke me out of prison instead. And then ran off with me," Azula whispered. "I… I really feared you'd double-crossed me at first. Then, I heard you swear you'd help as they dragged me away. I wondered if… if you'd be truthful, and you were. I… I think you're the only person who hasn't lied to me, Sokka."

"And I'll gladly be the only person who never does," Sokka whispered, pressing his brow to hers. Azula swallowed hard and nodded. "On that day… I broke you free from the world's cruelty as best as I could. I meant to protect you, to shield you, to stand by you, come what may. And now… now I offer you the same thing, but in a different land, in a different world. This time… I offer it to you in the Water Tribe. I offer you safe harbor… a place where I'm sure you'll be protected. No disloyal leeches will use you and toss you away once they decide you're spent. No fearful heads of state will turn you into some bogeyman for them to project their fears and horror. You'll be safe… you'll be free. And if… if you wish to spend that freedom with me? Then…"

He breathed deeply, taking her hands in his, raising them to his lips. He pressed a gentle kiss upon her mittens, upon her fingers, and Azula's heart pounded as his heartfelt eyes gazed deeply into hers.

"Would you be my wife?"

Azula gasped. Sokka smiled kindly, brushing her hair away from her face as he held her closely now. Tears burned in her eyes as she gazed at him with gratitude… though still, with a smidge of fear.

"Is… is that what this was about?" she asked, with a slight smile. "Once I marry you, I… I will become part of the Water Tribe? This is how you'll save me now? After… after having saved me as many times as you have…"

"You've saved me just as many times, if not more," Sokka said, earnestly. Azula let out a soft laugh… though she shook her head and gazed at him meaningfully.

"But… but why did you?" she asked. "It… it would've been so easy to give up, to forsake me. Anyone else would have… everyone else did. You didn't have to save me as many times as you did, Sokka… you don't even have to offer me what you're offering. I… I wouldn't be so unreasonable as to ask this of you. So… why?"

"Why?" Sokka swallowed hard. "I suppose… it's because I took a leap of faith."

Azula's eyes widened. He smiled, caressing her face gently anew.

"I thought… there was more to you than what everyone thought there was. That night, when I found you… we had that chance to talk, and I could feel it. I could sense it then, that… that you weren't simply the backstabbing manipulator everyone had led me to think you were, that I had convinced myself you were until then. I knew it was a gamble… I knew you might abandon me and go your own way if you felt like it. But I wanted to believe in you… believe that, with a better purpose, you could take all those things that made you a terrifying foe and become an extraordinary ally, instead. I… I wanted you on my team. I wanted you on my side. I didn't want to fight you anymore… and I hoped neither did you."

Azula swallowed and nodded. Sokka kissed her brow softly.

"And… time proved me right. There was so much more to you than any of us knew… so much more than I could tell, even on that night. So… it's like you saved your best for me. And now? Now I hope everyone else will see your best, too. Some already started to. So… how about we show them some more of what we're made of? How about we continue to be a team, just… a married one, now?"

Azula smiled, clasping his hand in hers. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his quickly.

"A married team, then…" she said. Sokka bit his lip. "Sounds… sounds about right."

"It does, doesn't it?" Sokka chuckled, cupping her face delicately. Azula's eyes flooded with tears again, something that appeared to happen far too often as of late…

"Are you sure about this? About taking the risk in your hometown, keeping me here even when Zuko and Kuei might still cause trouble?" she asked. "Would it be safer if we just lived elsewhere, or…?"

"My dad says he'll stand by us no matter what," Sokka whispered. Azula's breath hitched. "You have a place here… and you'll fit in easily in no time, too. Besides... blue looks good on you, remember?"

He smiled warmly upon saying those words – his first blatant attempt to flirt with her. Azula's heartfelt smile matched his as she laughed softly over that memory… over how he had repurposed it now. Her resolve was even more easily built as she gazed at him, as she let herself think back on their journey together…

She breathed deeply, heart soaring as she finally gave him her answer:

"I… I want to be your wife. I want you to be my husband. I… I'll marry you. You're crazy… I love you. And I'll marry you," Azula said, between tearful laughter.

Sokka chuckled too: his tears spilled down his cheeks as well as he held her tightly, as he hugged her as strongly as he could while the orange sun sank slowly, beautifully, in the horizon of a world that suddenly seemed a lot less merciless than it had been after a hundred and sixteen years…

...

He hadn't visited the South Pole in a long time, and it looked profoundly different from the old village it had been back when he had last left those shores. It was a city now, perhaps small, but a city all the same: Zuko breathed out slowly as he marched across the icy streets, eyes set on the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.

"Chief Hakoda," he said, bowing and offering the older man a proper reverence. Hakoda bowed his head, offering Zuko a light smile that waned once Zuko got to the point immediately. "Where is she?"

"Oh… are you in a rush?" Hakoda asked. "I was in the middle of something when I heard your ship was arriving… can you wait about thirty minutes, perhaps?"

"I… if I must," Zuko said, apprehensive. "You're certain she's secure? That she has no means of escape? Prison hasn't contained her in the past…"

"I assure you, she's being watched right now," Hakoda said, nodding promptly in Zuko's direction. "There's no need for you to worry. She has been weakened by the dark period, so her bending has been limited by the circumstances. She has also been recovering from severe wounds, so…"

"Severe wounds?" Zuko asked, frowning. "The ones she sustained in Ba Sing Se, is it? Hasn't she recovered from that yet?"

"Not fully, I fear," Hakoda said, with a deep sigh. "At any rate… half an hour and I'll be ready to handle your business, Fire Lord Zuko. I assure you, it won't take me much longer than that."

"Fine. I'll wait," Zuko said, frowning. Hakoda smiled.

"Please do. I'll be back shortly."

With that, Hakoda took off… and Zuko was left to stand, alone, in a street of an icy pole.

He was uncomfortable immediately – his visits to the poles had never ended well. But that discomfort increased when, after around five minutes since Hakoda's departure, Zuko heard cheering and applause drifting from the direction the Chief had left. He scowled, at first determined to stay put… but soon, his curiosity got the better of him.

He followed the direction in which he'd heard the noise, though it had fallen silent for now. After navigating a few smooth streets, he came across what he realized was a large gathering at what might be the very center of the town…

It was a joyful gathering. Everyone in attendance smiled… and Hakoda presided whatever this meeting was, grinning kindly as well. From this angle, Zuko couldn't really see the two people near Hakoda properly. Judging by the feeling of the place, the words he was hearing…

It was a wedding.

He frowned as he heard a familiar voice: the man of the couple was speaking his vows. The woman had her back to Zuko, so identifying her would be impossible, but him…

"… I'd say I've changed, but honestly? I feel like I'm far more authentic to who I truly am than I ever was before I met you. You've challenged me since the first day, and I know you'll do it until the last… all I hope is that this last day is so far away that we barely need to think about it at all, going forward. Because, as hard as our journeys have been, I want to continue charting my course with you. I want to enjoy my every adventure with you. And I really don't know what this new adventure is going to entail… but that's part of the fun, isn't it? So… I vow to make sure our days are bright, no matter how dark the sky might be. I vow to give you reasons to smile, no matter if the world tries its best to break us. I vow to take care of you, to provide for you, to offer you my shoulder if you need support, my ear if you need someone to talk to. I offer you everything I am… because I know you'll cherish me for it. You already have, on every day I've spent with you. I love you… and I always will."

The serious words could have been out of place for the man speaking them… but that man wasn't the casual goofball Zuko had befriended long ago. His jaw dropped as he understood what he had nearly interrupted, what he had dragged Hakoda away from…

Hakoda was officiating Sokka's wedding.

But… who was Sokka's bride?

His eyes shifted towards the woman: clad in traditional attire for the Water Tribe, with an ornate, beautiful cape, she had long dark hair and a slender physique. She sat across Sokka, her back to Zuko… but her bearing was familiar, somehow. His lips parted, his eyes widened…

"Well… you're keen on making me cry, I suppose," she said, and the public laughed at her words…

Zuko was floored where he stood.

He couldn't process those words. Couldn't process any of those words as an aversion, a fear, an irrational rejection pulsated through his body…

It was her. It was Azula… and she was marrying Sokka.

How could she…? How could he be so stupid? She was going to kill him as soon as he lowered his guard, she would backstab him, destroy this town, ruin every bit of progress the Water Tribe had made over the last decades…!

"There's so much I could say. So much I should say. But if you don't mind… I'll start by saying thank you."

Those words, spoken in his sister's voice, felt wrong. Zuko's rampaging thoughts stopped as he scowled, immediately distrustful of them…

"Where the world turned its back on me… you were the only one who refused to give up on me. The only… the only person out there who believed I deserved a second chance."

"Not true," Sokka responded, with a gentle smile and a caress of her cheek. "It wasn't a second chance… because no one had ever given you the first one, to begin with. So… this is still your first chance, in fact. Rejoice in that, love."

Azula laughed at Sokka's interjection, as did most of the crowd: her hand clasped Sokka's, and Zuko felt that urge of panic again… that need to intervene, to warn Sokka away from her, she'd burn him…!

But she didn't burn him.

She leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"Fine… a first chance," Azula agreed, with a light chuckle. "I didn't know what I was getting into when I first let you drag me halfway across the world, multiple times, in a matter of weeks. But you found a broken woman with no hope left… and you helped her piece herself together again. You stood by her, you supported her, and you taught her what love is, for no one else had done it before you dared. Through your actions, through every single choice you made… through all of them, I found peace and clarity where none had been possible before. You gave me every opportunity to become whoever I wanted to be… and that's what I'm doing today: I want to be your wife. I want to belong with you forever. And I want you to belong with me just as much. I… I'm sure I have a long way to go… I still have to adjust better to the Water Tribe, I do, but… but I actually like it here. I found a place here… belonging I'd never felt anywhere else. I will continue to do better in the future… I will keep fighting to become the person you believed I could be. Because, say what you will… I can still be better. I can still do better. One day, I hope, I'll feel fully worthy of the affection and kindness you've given me. I firmly believe that."

"And I firmly believe you already are," Sokka said. Azula smiled.

"You're too biased… and that's wonderful about you, for sure," she said. "I never imagined someone would believe in the best of me as much as you do… and so, I will believe in the best of you as well. I will protect you, fight for you, care for you and offer you a heart that… a heart that never had known love until I found it in you. You've given me so many new beginnings… and I can't wait to see where this one will bring us. I know… I know it will be someplace beautiful."

At that point, Zuko couldn't keep listening. He backed out before Azula continued, deliberately forcing himself not to focus on her words, putting as much distance as he could so he wouldn't have to hear them…

She was marrying Sokka. Hakoda had called him here, summoned him on that day, to show him this. It had been deliberate, of course… Azula would be safe now. She would be protected from being held accountable for her crimes by the Fire Lord, whose primary claim over her was due to her belonging to the Fire Nation. But if she turned her back on the Fire Nation and became Water Tribe…

That Azula might find a loophole was no real surprise. Of course she would. This was all a scheme, there was nothing more to it, she was using Sokka and…

The scene he had witnessed played in his head again. The words his sister had spoken…

She had never spoken that way before. He wanted to think she was lying… but it didn't really sound like a lie. As difficult as it was to accept that, it didn't…

"Zuko?"

He turned abruptly when he heard that voice calling his name: his eyes widened when they fell upon the cloaked, bald and tall Avatar.

"Aang…" Zuko said, frowning. "You… of course. Y-you're part of this too, of course, you… I guess you're just going to say I should stop, huh? Same as you did when you harbored a… a Fire Nation fugitive in your home. You…"

"Zuko…" Aang sighed, shaking his head. "What are you even trying to do?"

"At this point?" Zuko said, glaring at Aang. "I… I want to tell you, and everyone else, to watch your backs. To stop giving her chances because she'll take your trust and twist it into cruelty. She's going to destroy you… she's going to…"

"She's had around six months to do that in the South Pole," Aang pointed out: Zuko winced. "And Katara and I hosted her in Air Temple Island for six months before that, as you know…"

"Behind my back," Zuko growled.

"She's great with Kya and Bumi," Aang said, with a gentle smile: Zuko's eyes widened. "And she'll be their real aunt starting today. The kids are stoked about it."

"W-what are you talking about? Aang…!"

"I'm talking about your sister."

The word struck him deep, hard, in a place he hadn't realized he still had in him. He couldn't interpret that low blow yet, not easily… but Aang made it that much easier:

"You don't have to get over it," Aang said. "To overcome your resentment, your rage… you can let it consume you for as long as you live, if you want it to. You don't deserve to suffer over your family, no… but you're allowing your fears to cloud your judgment, Zuko. The woman marrying Sokka today… she's not the person you've convinced yourself she is."

"How do you know that? How do you know she's not just going to wake up and kill him as soon as…"

"They've been together for around eight years, they spent many of those on the road. She would've had every chance, every tool, to do it then," Aang said, bluntly. Zuko frowned. "She didn't, though."

"So… what, her kindness amounts to not doing the wrong thing one time?" Zuko huffed. Aang grimaced.

"Not just the one time, clearly… but what you've said is the same line of reasoning why Sokka and Katara didn't want me to forgive you all those years ago, you know?"

Zuko froze in place. He wanted to say it was different… to reject Aang's words. But the Avatar's dark eyes deterred him from doing so as they gazed at him with remorseful kindness…

"Don't forgive her if you're not ready. No one is expecting you to do so," Aang whispered. "But… don't get in the way of her peace, would you? For as long as she's here, the Fire Nation won't have to worry about her. I don't ask you to forgive her… just to let her be happy, now that she's actually found happiness and love when she had thought none of that would be in the cards for her."

"She…" Zuko nearly sounded like a drowning man as he stared at Aang in disbelief. "Happiness? Love? She…"

"She's done better for herself. She has made amends for so much, even if some people don't like to admit it," Aang said. "She sacrificed herself to save Kuei's life, did you know that?"

"I… that's not the way I heard it."

"Then I'll have to tell you the story," Aang said. "That one… and a few others they told me, too. Brace yourself…"

As much as he interrupted at times, Zuko slowly drifted into silence as Aang explained as much as he could about Azula and Sokka's work as White Lotus agents. After a while, he said nothing more. Shortly afterwards, a celebratory cheer rushed through the town, and Aang grimaced as he glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the celebration.

"Damn it… guess I missed the ending," he said, with a sad smile.

"Go, then… congratulate them, I guess," Zuko said, rubbing his brow with his fingertips. "I… I need time to think."

"Well… take it. But Zuko… please, make a decision that you'll be able to live with," Aang said, raising his eyebrows. "You've been Fire Lord for half your life now. You've done pretty well at it, too. No one's going to take that away from you… she'll be here, with her new family. You don't have to be part of it if you don't want to be… but I really hope you'll understand how much this means to them. Please… think on that."

Aang gazed at him meaningfully before walking away. Zuko shivered, and not because of how ungodly cold it was. His eyes followed Aang all the way to the celebration area…

Happiness? Peace? Had Azula truly found those things?

It was stupid of him, he knew, to feel jealous over that. He had no reason to be, he was Fire Lord! That was what she'd wanted all her life, that was all she had chased, and…

And she had spent the last sixteen years without a crown, without a title, losing all privileges and even the bonds she had clung to. Sokka, somehow, had taken a chance on her… and this was the outcome for it, apparently. She was happy… she was safe with him. She avoided capture…

Much like he had avoided being trialed by Earth Kingdom authorities once he became Fire Lord. And before that, he'd lived as a refugee among them, and they'd never known who he was.

His fists clenched as he felt himself shatter under the weight of a dark awakening: he had seen her sitting there, with Sokka, speaking words he had thought her utterly incapable of… but she had spoken them anyway. There had been no smidge of dishonesty in them. He always had thought she lied about everything, and he wanted to think she was lying now, too…

But why did he want to think that?

Why did he want her to scheme and plot? Why did he want her to show her true colors… when maybe her true colors were the ones she'd shown tonight?

He hadn't spoken to his sister in over six years. He had no idea she and Sokka were in love… at first, he thought that explained matters, but he didn't know, not for sure, if Sokka had been motivated by a romantic interest in Azula all along. Maybe not… maybe he simply cared.

He cared for Azula… where no one else ever had. The way Iroh, Ursa and Mai had cared for him when he thought he had nothing left in life.

But… this wasn't about him. It was Azula's story, Azula's struggles, Azula's pains and joys and...

And it wasn't about him at all.

Her happiness… didn't include him.

A sudden rush of loneliness struck him then. He should have felt free… he didn't have to help Azula pick up the pieces of her life and find a way to start over. He should have been grateful… but he wasn't. Why? Why did it bother him? Why did it feel unfair when he'd had a good life for years, when he had become an accepted, respected world leader, when he had so many good things going for him…?

Why, then, would he suddenly feel cheated? Why would it feel like Azula had taken everything she once had claimed Zuko had taken from her?

His friends were hers now, to a point where she had even married one of them. She found a home in a place she had never been meant to belong in… Zuko had never found a way to truly belong anywhere while he had been on the run. She had found happiness, and…

And was Zuko truly happy now?

His chest tightened. His head spun. His heart sank…

"Ah, do excuse me! It took me some time to wrap that up… but it's done now," Hakoda's voice reached Zuko, and he turned towards him with a mournful, if slightly accusatory stare. "Now, then, where were we?"

"Don't… don't play dumb. I… I get what you were doing now. I see. Well… well played," Zuko said, his voice unstable. Hakoda raised his eyebrows. "You… you wanted me to see them, didn't you? To realize… that I have no right to interfere. That if this is what they want to do with their lives… you'll protect them and make sure they can do so?"

Hakoda's easygoing demeanor shifted slowly into complete seriousness. He nodded slowly, and Zuko stared at him in chagrin.

"How… how can you trust her? Are you sure this is the right call?" Zuko asked. Hakoda shrugged.

"I am. I've grown to know her better across the past months… and I really am, Zuko. Whoever Azula once was, I cannot say for sure… but right now, she's my daughter-in-law. She's a member of this tribe."

"She's my sister," Zuko said, frowning.

"Is she?" Hakoda asked. "And what does that mean for you?"

"It means…" Zuko started… but he faltered upon hearing the question.

He didn't know how to answer that. He truly didn't know how to answer that.

Hakoda smile sympathetically, clasping Zuko's shoulder firmly.

"Fire Lord Zuko… I appreciate your visit. I can offer you a drink, even some food if you'd like, but ultimately… I'll never let you take one of my people if they don't want to go with you. It's that simple."

"Not even if it's… her?" Zuko asked. Hakoda shook his head.

"She's part of this tribe. She's my daughter-in-law," Hakoda repeated. "Her past does not determine her future… no more than yours did."

Zuko gritted his teeth, lowering his head. By then, more footsteps were heard… and this time, he had the feeling he'd be better off leaving. This was a battle he could never win…

But it was only a battle because he had made it so, wasn't it?

"Zuko? Dad…!"

Sokka's voice struck Zuko painfully. He raised his gaze… to find the man who had once been one of his closest friends was flabbergasted by his presence. Moreover… the dark-haired woman with him stared at him as if she'd seen a ghost: neither one had known Hakoda had planned this.

"Uh… surprise, I suppose," Hakoda said, with a weak smile. "Zuko had no idea you were getting married today…"

"And I had no idea you'd invited him," Sokka said, frowning.

"He didn't… invite me for that," Zuko said, gritting his teeth as he lowered his gaze. "I…"

Sokka was wary. He stood in front of Azula… as though shielding her from her own brother.

One time, long ago, he had protected Sokka's sister from Azula, when the firebending prodigy had been at her worst. He had jumped in front of a bolt of lightning meant for Katara… and he had survived the blow while Azula, ultimately, took a fall from grace, one from which she hadn't recovered for more years than Zuko knew.

Was that what Sokka had been doing over the past eight years? In breaking Azula out of prison, in helping her avoid capture, in bringing her with him to the Water Tribe and finding a loophole to keep her safe from Zuko's wrath… had Zuko been the merciless one this time, leveling lightning at his own sister, while Sokka shielded her from it as best he could?

How had things grown so complicated, chaotic and muddled? How had he become the problem, when he was supposed to embody a solution? Was this what the light and darkness of his own lineage entailed?

He didn't want to be that brother anymore. He couldn't find any reason to be scared of her… not now, when he felt like he'd looked at her for the first time in ages. Her eyes met his as she stepped to the side, apprehensive and wary…

She feared him. She dreaded that he'd act out… that he'd ruin her big day.

His fists tightened, and he turned towards her.

"Are you… happy?"

His question wasn't sardonic, skeptical or cruel. Azula hadn't noticed, until that moment, that she always expected Zuko to only speak to her to mock her rudely, or to be as confrontational and hostile as could be. This was a welcome change… if a little confusing. Still… she nodded. He seemed to wince upon seeing it.

"Happier than I thought I'd ever be," she admitted. "If you really must know. Zuko…"

"Great, then. That's… that's good. Make sure to… to cherish it. Congratulations," he said: his words weren't insincere, just as they weren't as honest as they should have been. The turbulence in his heart continued to hurt him deeply, to shake him and muddle his feelings…

"Zuko," Sokka called him, and Zuko frowned warily at him. "What were you hoping to achieve here?"

"I…" Zuko started, but his words faltered: he was here to capture someone… someone who was no longer harming anyone. Someone who had countless people on her side, somehow… someone in whose life he had no right to interfere. Maybe he never had that right, to begin with.

So he made up his mind, in a heartbeat. Perhaps he'd regret it soon… but he hoped not.

"I'll end the manhunt for you," he said, glancing at Azula, whose heart tightened upon hearing those words. "I… I have no power over you now, so… it makes sense. I'll try to… to convince Kuei too. Might fail, but…"

"You don't have to do that," Azula said. Zuko shook his head.

"I… I should. I want to. I will," he decided, glancing at her with unease. "I… I'm sorry. I have a lot to think about, but… I'm sorry, Azula."

He didn't go in-depth about that apology, but he bowed his head in her direction before turning on her heels. Sokka frowned as he walked away… Azula clenched her fists, and while fearing she might regret this, she still stepped forward.

"You can come again, once… once you feel like it," Azula called for him. Zuko slowed on his footsteps until he reached a halt. "If you feel like it, rather. I just… just thought I'd let you know."

"Thanks," Zuko said, curtly at first… then he glanced over his shoulder, meaningfully. "Is it… is it alright if I bring Izumi one day?"

Azula's eyes widened. Izumi… the new Crown Princess, Zuko's heir. She swallowed hard and nodded.

"If you want to. If you feel like it," she said, simply.

"Then… I'll think on it," Zuko said, offering her a weak, halfhearted smile. "Goodbye, Azula."

Maybe he wouldn't do as he said he would. Maybe he would never come back. But if this was the last time she'd see her brother… at the very least it hadn't ended with a shouting match, with violence, with threats of executions or imprisonment. Azula could only be grateful for that as her brother faded from view.

"And now… explain what made you think this was a good idea, Dad," Sokka grumbled, wrapping an arm protectively around his wife's shoulders. Hakoda smiled and shrugged.

"I hoped Zuko would learn better than to keep hounding your wife forever," he said. "It's long overdue, after all."

"I guess, but still… that's one hell of a risk you took there," Sokka sighed, turning towards Azula and cupping her face. "You okay?"

"I'm… fine. Better than fine, I suppose," she said, smiling at him with unabashed satisfaction. "It's… over, feels like. No more running away from Zuko… it feels surreal to realize that's actually over."

"Well, when you look at it that way, it is a pretty good wedding present, I can't lie," Sokka said, with a weak smile.

"I don't think he'd ever apologized to me about… anything, before. I don't really know what the apology was for, to be honest, but…" Azula said, shrugging and turning towards Sokka. "But it feels like I'm finally free for good, huh?"

"As you should be, my beloved, beautiful, clever wife," Sokka grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist and hoisting her gently in his embrace.

He pressed a quick kiss to her lips, their brows pressed together as Hakoda, beside them, chuckled and marched back to the celebration area.

"I hope she's also a good dancer, along with all those things…" Hakoda teased them: Sokka gasped happily, and Azula's eyes widened.

"I don't think I am," she said. "You know that's not very common in the Fire Nation…"

"But we're not in the Fire Nation, are we?" Sokka smirked. Azula snorted. "Come on, I'll teach you to dance! It'll be grand!"

"I should've already been taught how to dance before we got married… why didn't you explain this before? We could have practiced together…"

"Oh, no need for practice! You'll get it right just fine, you'll see…!"

"If I end up humiliating myself for your amusement during our wedding, I'm definitely going to hold that against you forever, you dangerous husband, you…"

Sokka laughed as he and Azula followed Hakoda indeed, trading quick kisses just as they would once they joined the dancing groups that were reveling and rejoicing in their love. Aang and Katara had taken to dancing too, though with their children rather than with each other for now. The loud, fun music had an infectious rhythm that Sokka teased Azula for, pulling her in for a joyful dance unlike anything she had experienced before.

Whether their moves were always right or not, she couldn't tell: all she knew was that they kept up with each other constantly, laughing together as they learned their way around this new challenge, small as it might be. As push and pull might, they would sway to the music's beat between laughter and gratitude, for their journey together would continue, safe and soundly, after today's ceremony, after Azula had joined the Tribe… for the two of them had built a new home in the Southern Water Tribe, a home they meant to cherish forevermore.

A/N:

Thank you again for reading! I really hope you enjoyed the many stories that were part of this year's Sokkla Saturdays!

#sokkla #sokka #azula #sokkla saturdays 2022 #sokklasaturdays #'dark Zuko aka the Zuko that Azula antis want him to be' AU #it's really ironic that their hatred of Azula resulted in a story I can be so proud of tbh #also very morally ambiguous/morally appalling White Lotus here #because me being 100% positive about the WL would be very unlikely right?#already happened once and it's not gonna happen again #Sokka being Azula's ride or die gives me life #though he'd disagree because of the 'die' clause in fact he refuses to let her die #what a man what a legend #boy I really looked forward to posting this one so here it goes

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nicknellie · 3 years ago

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For months I’ve been saying I’d write a fic where Alex starts counselling because this fandom is in desperate need of good therapy representation, and I’ve finally got around to it! This follows Alex deciding he wants to get therapy, having his first assessment, and having his first session. Most of it is pulled from my experiences so far, but bare in mind that not all therapists/organisations will function the way this one does. Also I’m very tired and I didn’t proofread so I’m sorry for any errors, I’ll fix them at another point.

TW: anxiety, therapy, mentions of depression, mentions of homophobia, mentions of OCD

The Right Decision

It was another one of those days where Alex felt exhausted from the moment he woke up. Not exhausted in that he needed to sleep longer (although admittedly that was probably a part of it), just exhausted because here was another day he had to get through, another challenge he had to overcome, another stressful sixteen hours of endless worries and things to do. Sometimes Alex felt like there was no escape, no rest, no pause in his life. He had to keep going no matter how drained he felt.

It was exhausting.

Everything felt like too much nowadays. Between going to school and sitting exams, playing with the band, and keeping up with his friends, Alex felt as if he had no time to breathe. He couldn’t slow down for longer than a moment or two before along came the next thing and the next barrage of anxieties that accompanied it. He couldn’t catch his breath, he couldn’t keep up, and it was dragging him down.

What he couldn’t understand was how nobody else seemed to feel quite as worried as him. He had always been more anxious than his friends, that was nothing new – but when everyone he knew had mostly the same stresses as him, it struck him as impossible that none of them seemed too overwhelmed. Perhaps every now and then Luke would complain about an exam at school or Reggie would mention that he was having trouble sleeping, but none of Alex’s friends ever mentioned weak legs, trouble breathing, clouded thoughts, needless panic that stemmed from nowhere, the feeling that nothing they did was really worth much at all.

Recently, Alex’s days had been muddled, his mind occupied with each new worry that he thought up. He was finding it hard to focus on much at all. He’d find his leg bouncing whenever he sat down or his fingers scratching at his knees, little repetitive movements that he wouldn’t notice until somebody pointed them out. He struggled sleeping at night, his mind racing at the speed of light, every nonsensical thought keeping him awake like the world’s most pessimistic firework display. When he was around his friends, his mind snagged on what they thought about him – he began acting the way he thought they wanted him to rather than the way he normally would have.

It felt like he was constantly pretending to be coping better than he was. If he carried on the way he was, he knew sooner or later he would break.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said that morning, sat on the opposite side of the sofa to Willie. He had stayed the night at Willie’s place, vastly preferring it to his own – his strained relationship with his parents wasn’t exactly doing him a world of good either.

“About what?” Willie asked, kicking their feet up onto the sofa and resting them in Alex’s lap.

The question was strangely hard to answer. Where was he even supposed to begin answering it?

“About me,” he ventured slowly. It seemed like a good start, he just wasn’t sure how to carry on.

“I think about you a lot too,” Willie said, beaming. “It’s one of my favourite pastimes.”

Normally, Alex might have blushed, but he was so caught up in his own head that the flirtatious nature of Willie’s comment flew right over his head.

Willie sat up, looking concerned. He took Alex’s hand in his own, dragging Alex down from his addled thoughts. “What’s going on, hotdog? What have you been thinking?”

“I’ve not been finding things easy recently,” Alex began. He hadn’t expected tears to fill his eyes so soon, and yet there they were. His voice wavered, his words interspersed with sniffles. Frustrated, he sighed and wiped roughly at his eyes with his sleeve, annoyed that this was all getting to him so easily. “I… I can’t explain it.”

Willie reached up and gently pulled Alex’s tight fists away from his eyes and instead wiped Alex’s tears away softly with his thumb. “Take your time,” they said. “It’s alright. I’m listening.”

“I just… I feel so nervous. All the time. About every little thing. And it feels like it’s getting worse. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

One of the things Alex loved most about Willie was that he was never pushy. He always let Alex talk as and when he needed to, getting everything off his chest the way he wanted, even if it took hours. They did it now, just holding Alex’s hand, their eyes fixed on him attentively. From someone else, the unbroken eye contact might have just unnerved Alex even more, but from Willie it felt reassuring. He knew he was being listened to and heard – he knew he was safe.

“I want to get help,” he breathed. “I don’t want to carry on the way I am. It scares me.”

“If you want to get help, then that’s exactly what we’ll do,” Willie told him, threading their fingers together. “And Alex – it might not feel like it, but you’re so brave for telling me that. It can’t have been easy, but I’m proud of you for telling me instead of just struggling through by yourself.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” Alex asked apprehensively. Willie was always supportive of him, but it was such a drastic change from the way his parents treated him that sometimes he couldn’t help but check it was all real.

Willie smiled gently and cupped Alex’s cheek with his hand. His eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into the touch, so he couldn’t see Willie when they replied but he could hear the honestly in his voice. “I think it’ll be really helpful for you. And if it’s what you think you need then it’s worth trying no matter what.”

“Thank you,” Alex whispered, barely audible, throat clogged with suppressed sobs.

“Anything, Alex.”

The two of them spent hours researching different therapists and counsellors. Willie carried out extensive background checks on every one of them – at first Alex thought that maybe it was a bit much, but Willie was adamant that only the best would do, that he didn’t want anyone with a chequered past or a dodgy record.

Eventually they came across a charity that offered free counselling. The sessions would take place at the same time on the same day each week and they could go on for as long as Alex needed. He would be assigned the counsellor deemed most fit to treat him after completing an assessment, and the organisation appeared to have very good reviews and success rates.

“We don’t have to sign you up today,” Willie explained, “not if you think it’ll be too much too soon. But it’s worth keeping in mind that this place is probably a good one to go for.”

Alex thought for a moment before making his mind up. He knew himself – if he kept putting it off because he was nervous about it then he would never get around to doing it at all.

“Let’s do it now,” he said resolutely, trying to sound confident in the hopes that maybe he’d believe he wasn’t so nervous himself. “Get it out of the way. It’s now or never, right?”

Willie just kissed the top of his head and clicked the application button at the bottom of the webpage.

A week or so later, Alex received an email informing him of when his assessment would take place. It seemed like a very informal thing – someone from the charity would phone him, they’d have a casual chat where they would ask him about himself, and they’d offer him either a space on their waiting list or suggest somewhere else that might be able to help him better.

Despite how friendly and casual it all sounded, Alex couldn’t help but feel nervous. For one thing, he hated talking to strangers. He’d never been good at it and the whole idea made him feel sick with worry. Though, he supposed, that was why he was going through with this whole thing, to make that worry stop.

But the other issue was that it was a phone appointment. Inexplicably, one of the things guaranteed to cause Alex anxiety was phone calls. The thought of picking up the phone when somebody rang was enough to make his head spin and eyes water. Just the notion of it made him want to lock himself away in a lonely dark room and not come out until he felt he could breathe again. It was painfully ironic – he had to do the things that made him most anxious in order to get help with his anxiety.

When the time of the appointment came, Alex was sat on Willie’s bed by himself, staring at his phone, waiting for it to ring. Willie had kindly offered to be in the room with him, but Alex had declined. Even though Willie was the most supportive person in his life, having them in the room while he had his assessment would have made it a thousand times more difficult.

The phone rang and for a moment Alex considered just not picking up. Was it worth making himself even more worried over this? Maybe he could learn to cope with his anxiety alone instead of getting all worked up over receiving help. He’d managed just fine in the past.

But you’re not managing just fine right now, Alex, he reminded himself. Pick up the phone.

“Hello?” he said, forcing himself to keep his voice level.

“Hi,” came a voice on the other end. It was an airy, soft-spoken lady, and though Alex couldn’t see her he could imagine her sat in her office, surrounded by motivational posters and dreamcatchers, wearing far too many scarves. “My name is Elizabeth. I’m calling for your mental health assessment. I just need to confirm who I’m speaking to.”

“Alex Mercer,” he said, glad he could answer that first question right at the very least. And sure, maybe the other questions he would be asked didn’t have specific right or wrong answers, but he still felt as if he had something to prove with them. Here at least he knew what he was doing.

“And your age and date of birth please, Alex,” Elizabeth asked. He could hear the faint scratching of a pen on paper.

“I’m eighteen and my birthday is the first of August.”

A tiny voice in the back of his mind questioned him, but he pushed it away. He wasn’t going to overthink so quickly. He knew what his own birthday was.

“Great, thank you, Alex,” Elizabeth said. “So I’m just going to talk you through how this will work quickly, okay? I’ll try not to take too long with the whole assessment, I know sometimes talking on the phone or talking to strangers can be tricky. All that’s really going to happen is that we’ll have a little chat, I’ll ask you about your life and your mental health. Everything we say will be confidential, the only other person who’ll find out is the person we assign as your counsellor. All I need you to do is be as honest as possible when you answer the questions. Is that all okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex said. His throat felt tight with worry but he did his best to ignore it. Elizabeth sounded like a lovely lady and the whole point of this was that he would stop being anxious, or at least learn to manage it better. Maybe this bit was hard, but it would only get easier as time went on. “That’s alright.”

“Fantastic,” she said. “Okay, Alex, we’ll start with the most obvious question: why do you want to come to us for counselling?”

He told her what he had told Willie, just with fewer tears. He could feel them stinging the backs of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. His voice stayed level but only because he forced it too.

From then on, it seemed like fairly quickfire questions. Elizabeth didn’t linger on any one aspect of Alex’s life so long that it made Alex uncomfortable, as if she was just sizing him up rather than trying to properly inspect him.

“Who do you live with, Alex?”

“My parents and my little sister, but I don’t spend a lot of time at home.”

“Do you not get on with them?” she asked. Her tone made her sound curious rather than concerned and somehow that was a lot easier for Alex to respond to. She just wanted to know – she wasn’t worried about it.

“My little sister’s fine, but not my parents.”

“Where do you stay instead?”

“My boyfriend’s apartment.”

Pen scratching on paper again.

“How’s your relationship with your boyfriend?” Elizabeth asked.

It was one of the only questions Alex felt confident answering. “My relationship with Willie is the best thing in my life.”

He thought he could hear Elizabeth’s smile as she said, “I’m very glad to hear that, Alex.”

She asked him about his friendships and he told her that they were strong. When she asked who his best friend was he momentarily panicked because he didn’t know which of his friends to choose – they all meant the world to him in different ways – but settled on Carrie. He explained that he was in a band with most of his other friends and that it was one of the only things that made him feel relaxed.

Elizabeth asked about school and Alex told her about his exams, how the stress of them definitely wasn’t doing his mind any good. She asked about his grades and he told her that they were high but he worried about keeping them that way. She asked him if he was part of any clubs or teams and he said he was on the cross-country team but didn’t find much enjoyment in it anymore.

It was odd, he thought absently. As he spoke to Elizabeth, he not only found himself being open and honest with her but also with himself. Half the things he told her were things he hadn’t thought about until she brought them up, and realising that he worried about grades more than he’d thought and that he didn’t want to be on the running team was more of a surprise to him that it should have been. He noticed more and more things about himself as he went on, things he probably never would have realised otherwise, and it sparked a little flame of hope inside him that maybe this counselling was already being beneficial to him.

The assessment was over much more quickly than Alex had thought it would take. Elizabeth told him that she was happy to put him on the waiting list and that she would be in touch when a counsellor became available. After a friendly goodbye, Alex put the phone down and took a few minutes to collect himself before heading out into the living room of Willie’s apartment to tell him how well it had gone.

It was a month or two before Alex heard from the charity again. He got another email, this one telling him the time and location of his first appointment. He showed up on the day, Willie by his side, feeling the worst he’d felt in weeks.

“Hey,” Willie said gently as Alex just stared at the door, his stomach flipping at the thought of even pressing the intercom. “Just remember you’re doing this to help yourself. I believe in you, hotdog. You’ve got this.”

Alex pulled Willie into a brief hug, but disentangled himself quickly and pressed the intercom before his adrenaline disappeared and he had another chance to dwell on it.

“Hello,” came the voice of the receptionist inside. “How can I help?”

“My name is Alex Mercer, I’m here for my counselling session,” he said. He wasn’t sure how much of his sentence actually sounded like words, the entire thing having been rushed out on one breath, but the receptionist seemed to get it. The lock on the door clicked open.

“Come on in, you can sit in the waiting room and your counsellor will come and get you soon.”

Alex took a deep breath and pushed the door open, Willie following close behind him as the two of them walked into the building. The waiting room was on the left as soon as they walked in so they took their seats beside each other. There was hardly anyone else in there – the receptionist was sat behind the desk in the corner, there was a lady flicking through a magazine on the other side of the waiting room, and a young man was sat with a toddler, trying to keep the little boy still when clearly all he wanted to do was run around. The walls were covered in posters, most of them either with motivation quotes on them or symptoms of different mental health issues. Alex had to tear his eyes away from the anxiety one, his hands rubbing together in his lap restlessly.

They weren’t sat there for very long when a kind-looking man poked his head into the waiting room and scanned it. When his eyes landed on Alex and Willie, a small smile grew on his face.

“Alex Mercer?” he asked.

Alex stood up and wiped his sweaty hands down on his trousers. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” the man said. “I’m Graham, I’ll be your counsellor. Is this your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, this is Willie,” Alex said, gesturing vaguely in his direction.

“Hi,” they said, “great to meet you.”

“You too,” Graham said. “Alex, Willie can come in with you for a little bit if you think that would make you more comfortable, or he could stay here in the waiting room and it’ll just be you and I in there. Whatever you prefer.”

Alex cast a glance at Willie who just gave him a reassuring smile. Your call, their expression said, I’m here for you no matter what.

“I’d rather go in alone,” Alex decided.

Graham nodded, smiling genially. “That’s alright. If you’d like to follow me then.”

Sending one last look to Willie (who gave Alex a thumbs up and mouthed ‘you got this’), Alex followed Graham out of the waiting room, up a flight of stairs, and into a smaller room on the second floor. There was hardly anything in there but a desk with a laptop on it and two chairs positioned opposite each other, a coffee table between them with a lamp and a box of tissues on it. Graham sat down in one chair and gestured for Alex to sit in the other.

“Alright, Alex,” Graham said, donning his glasses and picking up a pen and paper. “How are you feeling about being here today?”

“I’m a little nervous,” Alex told him. “But you know… it’s something I’ve got to do, right?”

Graham nodded. “Looking at your assessment, I think you made the right decision in coming to us. I just want to briefly explain what will be happening in these sessions – I’m going to be doing CBT. Do you know what that is?”

Alex shook his head.

“CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy,” Graham explained. “As people, we have thoughts. Those thoughts influence our mood, which then influences our behaviour, which influences our thoughts. It’s a cycle. When our thoughts or our behaviours turn negative, it can lead to mental health problems like yours. What CBT aims to do is change the thought processes and behaviours that lead to things like your anxiety. With me so far?”

Alex nodded.

“We aren’t going to start that today,” Graham said. Alex breathed a sigh of relief and Graham chuckled at it, but not in a way that made Alex feel like he was being made fun of. “Today we’re just going to get to know each other a bit, we’ll go over the information I’ve got from your assessment in a little more detail, and then I’ve got a questionnaire for you to fill out. Sound good?”

“Good,” Alex said. Well, he supposed, getting one word out was better than none at all.

Graham pulled out a few sheets of paper and the two of them spent the next half hour or so going over the assessment Elizabeth had conducted. It was a lot more detailed, a lot more personal, and Alex needed to think about himself a lot more than he would have liked, but it was made easier by Graham’s easy-going personality and the fact that Alex’s knew it was all necessary. He wasn’t being judged for any of it, he was just helping Graham help him.

It just felt like a chat with a friend. When they talked about Alex’s parents and he explained they weren’t supporting of his sexuality, Graham said, “When I told my folks that I’m bisexual they had a similar reaction. I understand it – you’re not alone, Alex.”

And as he said that, Alex really felt it was true. He was understood here. He wasn’t alone.

They talked about Alex’s trouble sleeping, how he worried about the little things rather than anything really important, how he was a picky eater, and every detail that seemed insignificant but clearly meant something to Graham. It felt a little invasive, but the environment was comfortable, so Alex didn’t really mind sharing. It was ridiculously easy to say everything on his mind and so much more freeing than keeping his emotions bottled up like normal.

“Alright then,” Graham said eventually. “All I’ve got left is this questionnaire. It’ll take you through forty-seven questions and all of the answers give you a choice between always, often, sometimes, or never. Sometimes it’s quite obvious what the question is getting at – there’s one about repetitive routines that’s obviously about OCD – but I want you to answer as honestly as possible, don’t even think about what it might do to your results. Alright?”

“Yeah,” Alex said, “that’s fine.”

Graham led Alex through the questionnaire, selecting the answers on his laptop. Alex tried to answer quickly, not giving himself time to overthink it, but a few of the simplest ones stumped him. He’d never thought about how much he thought about death, he’d never paid any mind to his specific behaviours. But still, he answered as best he could and the questions were over relatively quickly.

“Looking at your results,” Graham said, pushing his glasses further up his nose and squinting at the laptop screen, “you answered most highly for general anxiety – you got twenty-nine for that. Then social anxiety, you got twenty. Depression and low mood, you got sixteen. For panic disorder you got fourteen, eleven for OCD, and five for separation anxiety. Does any of that surprise you?”

“Not in the slightest,” Alex told him, laughing at himself a little. It was exactly what he would have expected from himself – he wasn’t quite sure what the numbers really meant, but having general anxiety at the top wasn’t a shock to him.

“So what we’ll do each week from now on is fill out a smaller one of those, but it will be more focused on general anxiety, only eight or nine questions long. And we’ll start your CBT next week so these little questionnaires will be very helpful to track your progress. But that’s it for this week! You’re done, Alex, you made it!”

Alex felt himself smile. He’d done it. It hadn’t been nearly as difficult as he had thought it would be – it felt like there had been a weight lifted from his shoulders and he could breathe easily. His mind briefly wandered back to how anxious he’d been to even press the intercom outside; now he felt the lightest he’d been in as long as he could remember.

He and Graham said their goodbyes and Alex made his way back down to the waiting room to see get Willie. When he saw the bright smile Alex wore, Willie’s face lit up and he beamed.

“How was that?” they asked, immediately slipping his hand into Alex’s.

“Really good,” Alex told them. Willie’s face softened – there was a definite look of pride in their eyes and Alex knew it was for him. “I’m glad I’m doing this.”

Standing up on his tiptoes, Willie pressed a featherlight kiss to Alex’s cheek. “I’m glad. I’m proud of you, hotdog.”

“I’m proud of me too,” Alex said. For the first time in a very long while, he actually meant it.

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just let me know): @ace-bookworm @williexmercer @boggie-brainrot @itstiger720 @the-reckless-and-the-brave @that-one-newsie @bluedarkness @lookingthroughmirrors @tmp-jatp @salty-star @julieandthequeers @lmaohuh @sunnysbright @sylphrenas @callmeontheleyline

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