#my family being my mum who lives with me and my sister who occasionally visits with her kids

[help-me-find-a-name-please-lol]

finally fell in love with another dog. my family have vetoed it.

just kill me already.

[spacerangersam]

I recently saw your NB4ProblamatocT Julian pat post, and it just made me cry!! You're so talented, and I'm just obsessed! I was wondering if you could tell us some more about NB/Trans femme pat (or trans masc!!) Or the hc you have! It's okay if not! Sorry to bother :^)

thank you so much!! and im sure I can scrounge up some ideas! (and trust me, this is no bother at all. i am always up for the opportunity to rattle on)

She knew she was trans (even if she didn’t have the language for it) when she was fourteen and started going through puberty. the second her voice dropped she was like 'oh I hate this actually, no thanks'

In my Pat lore that’s consistent regardless of Pat’s gender, she has a twin sister Gabrielle who’s also trans and realised a lot sooner when she was around ten, so the second Pat started to feel a bit off, they talked to Gabrielle about it

While they didn’t totally click with womanhood, it felt more comfortable than being perceived as a man, so they started growing her hair out and nicking Gab’s clothes.

All her family just kind of rolled with it. (let us, for a moment, live in a world where transphobia doesn’t exist)

She didn’t even think of a new name until like two years down the line when someone asked her for it at a party and she was like right, probably shouldn’t be going by Patrick anymore. So on the spot, she blurted out Patricia. She’d always been happy being called Pat/Patty, so it worked out

I don’t imagine her being a particularly femme person. She might have worn the occasional long skirt or a nice dress to a party, but otherwise, she had like two pairs of mum jeans she lived in and a variety of bright, colourful button-ups to pair with them. Shoes-wise, she’d stick to trainers and boots, with some jelly shoes for summer. 

I also imagine she wouldn’t have worn much makeup, but she cared so much about her hair. So much. And she is forever grateful she died with her hair freshly permed, and with like, three different scrunchies on her wrist that she can swap out (and just like transphobia, we will be ignoring ghost canon)

obv she's a guide leader rather than a scout leader, and I think to believe she had beef with the local scout group/their scoutmaster and was always trying to one-up him. she's forever miffed about kicking the bucket before getting one over on him

(one day his group visits the button grounds, and she gathers up all the ghosts with powers to make his life a brief living hell even though he's like, ancient now and not even the scoutmaster anymore, just there for old times sake. still, they do it, and she's so happy. revenge? pretty cool, actually)

I imagine after she died, she was pretty hush-hush about being trans, just in case. But when she clocked onto Cap struggling with his sexuality, she decided to take a leap of faith and tell him. He was a bit confused but took it in stride, and while he didn’t come out to her, it definitely made him feel more comfortable about himself

She didn’t come out to anyone else until Alison made a comment about him being nb themselves, leading to them giving all the ghosts a lesson on everything LGBT

Pat found was just overjoyed there was a better word for how she felt, that she wasn’t ‘faking’ being trans because she didn’t connect with the idea of being a woman, she was just trans in a different way

She came out, everyone was obviously accepting, and Alison even got her a little nb flag for her room. Which does lead to questions when people visit and are like? why is there a random pride flag in this empty room?

Alison never comes up with a good excuse

Pat uses she/they/he pronouns, but you're only allowed to use he/him if you’ve been given permission. So far the only people who’ve won that right are her mother, her sister, Cap, and somehow, Julian/Julie. 

Also, it's very important to me that she's surprisingly strong. I just really like the image of this titchy trans femme picking up the blokes of the house and moving them aside whenever they're in Alison's way

um. that's all i've got, i think

[t-leaves]

shiftmas2024 Day Two: Gingerbread

OG post

What does your house look like in your dr? Who do you live with? What is your favourite aspect of your house?

Answering for my main 4 drs:

Wizarding world

When I'm not at Hogwarts, I live in a druidic village in this dr so the houses are all covered in foliage, the architectural style is as if the houses are growing out of the hillside and we share a communal garden along the span of the lake. The house has 3 floors: my sister's room making up the 2nd floor; my dad's study, mum's music room, our kitchen, dining room and living room all being on the first floor; and my room, my parent's room, our conservatory and a pantry making up the ground floor.

It's incredibly cosy and filled with each occupants personality, with lots of wood and colourful furnishings. Stained glass windows decorate the front door and the bedroom walls and book cases line the stairwells. More book cases can be found in my room and in my dad's study. Druidic houses are built to maximise sunlight and every room aside from the kitchen and conservatory has a fire place, so the house is always alight and filled with warmth.

I live with my older sister and my parents however it is common for us to have family and friends round.

My room is probably my favourite part as it is so heavily personalised and it is much bigger than the box room I currently have. The ceiling is covered in a mural of waterfowl (my special interest in every reality <3) and water beasts such as plimpys, a corner of my room is dedicated to a small library (complete with comfy armchair), my bed is in a cosy nook and I have a fireplace in the centre of my room to keep me comfortable. I also have a door directly leading to the garden in my dr so I can get up and play early morning quidditch.

Marauders dr

When I'm not at Hogwarts, I live in a small terraced house in my dad's hometown.

Again, I live with my parents and my sister.

My favourite thing about the house will be the large fireplace in the living room and how, in order to fit everybody when family are visiting, the teenagers have to huddle around it on the floor.

PJO/White Vault

I scripted we live in St Johns for this dr and I'm imagining one of those colourful houses in downtown St John's like these bad boys.

I live with my dad and older sister in this reality, although my dad's job requires him to be away at sea for weeks at a time so sometimes it's just the two of us. Further, my sister often stays over with friends at uni so occasionally its just me and my dad or me by myself.

My favourite part of the house is my room at the top of the house which gives me access to the skylight and I can climb up onto the roof.

Marscorp dr

I live on the marscorp base in this dr so I don't technically have a house just quarters and as I have no family in this dr it's just a singular room.

I imagine it like this except instead of plants that part is a small seating area with a table and the rooms are a bit brighter.

I live alone in this dr.

My favourite part is the window next to my bed where I can look out onto Mars.

[lilmothsworld]

Don't wanna tag this. What if ppl find me?

Mention of vent and musings rambles etc under... idk felt like I needed to say hi but also scared so in the echo chamber of my own blog it goes....

I'm so scared anymore

I keep regressing lately, and when I do, little me is almost always scared... She... I, always was.

I grew up taking care of my mother, my sister, trying to fix everything for everyone... I didn't get a childhood, and I was ostracized from the community and church bcuz where I live Nepotism is the law of the land.

And we didn't exist to them except to punish or target

Idk

Just trying to learnt to exist, to be

I am lucky in the I do have a partner. And they do about know this stuff. Lately they have wanted to take a more CG role after seeing how bad I am getting lately

But idk exactly how? I feel a lot of shame and fear around my stuff. I do occasionally regress when happy, but lately my system stuff and regression is just... rapid flipping and overwhelming..

Idk it scares me

I still struggle to accept how not ok my childhood was?? I just accidentally mortified my partner casually chatting about something that... wasn't a casual topic again...

Ever play Little Missfortune??

... That used to be like talking to me I just. I had no idea how very very wrong things were.

Now I am no contact with my family

I have had to have spine surgery to try to fix something my mother did to me in a fit of rage. My family refuses to ever accept the hurt and harm they inflicted...

I can't even be emotionally hurt or upset without feeling the need to be punished for it bcuz of HER

...Yet I know bcuz of hearing thru the grapevine... they are dying rn

Look awful... I know they have no water at house. I know the raccoons have destroyed it entirely (gma refused to stop feeding em. Last I visited she thought it was funny the raccoons would piss on em through roof....)

I know it is still covered in roaches and has a feral cat colony...

These are people who chose this btw

My mother hates cleaning and never taught my siblings. It was all me it was always me. She tried to force me back home into this. Just like she tried to sabotage my gaining independence...

The more I look back, the more I realize I will never 'forgive' them.

Because in my family, to do so would be to permit then back into my life.

And I will not.

I grew up with crappy food, at times ROTTENfood, and hand me down clothes that did not fit! But dw, she DID get her teacup chihuahua cuz we had money for that :)

Oh that she then locked in a cage day and night cuz she hated having him

Until my Gma took him to do the same :)

My POS abusive stepfather who didn't keep his hands to himself...

Fucking

I do not remember WHICH is my first memory...

The one where I was trying to play with my mum and she backhanded me in the gut (she did not want to play. I was not old enough for school yet) and winded me? I had never experienced ANYONE being winded yet. Let alone myself.

Maybe it sounds dramatic, but my kid brain fully believed I was dying. I believed my mommy had killed me and I was gonna die while she was in the other room pissed I wanted to be with her. Wtaf.

The other?? My stepfather stole the floaty I used while I was actively drowning and swam away with it. Leaving me drowning there.

My mother stayed with him :)

What is my life?

Just gonna be here in this corner. Prolly afraid and quiet and watching. Cuz that is what I did. Idk how to play if it isn't something I can make quiet and small...

[haphazardhadrian]

"Do you know, where we need to sit?"

In the beginning of this year my paternal grandma died -grandpa died over ten years ago, a while after their 50th wedding anniversary. She was a very happy-go-lucky person and loved all of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, she welcomed every new addition to the family happily and didn't distinguish between us. When her last day came, she was content and fell asleep for one final time.

My parents, my brother and I stand and stood apart from the rest of the family for a long time now, except for our relationship with grandma. Next to us, only 3 others moved away from their small hometown - two cousins moved to bigger cities for work and one cousin (C.) moved quite far away to a big city, because he is gay... One could say homosexuality isn't accepted in this family. A large and obnoxiously loud part of the family are right-wing. My parents don't support this ideology and moved far away, before I was born. My mum's best friend is gay, so am I. My brother and his wife are very open-minded people. We are, next to grandma, the only one's from the family who know about C. being gay. Year after year, he brings one of his female friends to family birthday parties, pretending to be a couple.

Shortly before grandma passed away, the doctors informed my parents about it (my dad is the eldest, and grandma often spoke of him to the nurses and doctors). My parents, my partner and I visited her, to spend a bit time with her and to say goodbye. I am still grateful, that I was able to see and talk to her one final time, and that my partner was able to meet her at least once.

Nobody in the whole family is religious. Grandma was the only one, who didn't leave church, but she never went there for Christmas or other occasions. My dad told me, when he was a little boy, they went to church for Christmas.

My dad was informed last about the date of the funeral. All we knew, was the date and time, we had to be at a certain church. If I don't have a clue about the process of something, at least a little clue, I am stressed and feel very uncomfortable. We arrived on time, with 30 minutes to spare. My partner was with me, although no-one knew about her in advance. It was a weird, chilly and strict atmosphere.

No-one talked with us. One (!) aunt of me, hugged me and was happy to see us, all others just shook hands with me. My aunt is kind of an outcast herself... She was the first in the family who divorced her husband and lives alone since then. For the others it's more acceptable to stay together unhappily than to separate.

My partner was a huge emotional support for me. She knows, when I feel uncomfortable/overwhelmed. She took my hand and occasionally spoke soft words to me - probably nonsensical stuff, but just to hear her voice soothes me a lot.

Upon arriving in the church, we noticed that there was a fixed seating order, we just didn't knew where to sit. We waited... and waited... until finally one uncle had enough and told us, where to sit. The following procedure was also very rigid and weird, a lot of praying and singing - which nobody (!) except for my sister in law did. Afterwards we went to a restaurant, to drink coffee and maybe eat cake. I had just finished my cup of coffee, when my cousins and uncles brought out the alcohol to the tables. Lots and lots of alcohol and only the hard stuff. They drink a lot, always has been like that, but this made me even more uncomfortable. Fortunately for me, the rest of my little family, especially my dad where feeling uncomfortable, too, and we finally left.

[raincitygirl76]

Kids in families with substance abuse issues and domestic violence have to grow up fast. I know, it happened to my brother.

My father was an abusive alcoholic. I remember a similar incident to Lucia when my sister was in a school play at the age of 16. My dad had initially said he couldn’t come. She was upset because even though the divorce happened when she was 10, she did maintain some level of contact with him. And she felt like he wasn’t acknowledging her achievements. She wasn’t the leading lady, but she had quite a big role.

Anyway, I don’t know if my dad had intended to come to opening night all along and have it be a surprise. Or if he sobered up on the day of, and remembered opening night was that night. We didn’t see him in the auditorium before it started, but during intermission my mum, my brother and I ran into him near the washrooms.

I was 19, my brother was 13. I had gone no contact with my dad 3 years earlier. It had been 6 years since my parents had separated, and my dad’s threats to murder us and make my mom watch, then kill her as well had tapered off.

I was still living at home. My sister and brother (16 and 13) still saw him on Saturday afternoons, but my mother and I had both made a habit of being upstairs or out of the house when he came to pick them up. And when he dropped them off in the evenings he never came to the door. He would still call my mom very occasionally to rant at her when he was drunk, but neither of us had actually seen him in about 2 years.

So we’re at intermission, my sister is backstage getting ready for the second act, and suddenly he’s right in front of us. I started having a panic attack, and my mom just froze up like a deer in headlights. I’m ashamed to say it, since I was 19 and my brother was only 13, but he was the one who greeted my dad and suggested I go to the ladies room.

LI fled to finish having my panic attack in the privacy of a washroom cubicle, my mom still standing there like a deer in headlights. She came in maybe 50 seconds after me, said my brother had suggested she check on me. Clearly he’d done so to give her an excuse to leave without making a scene. She was pretty unnerved as well, that he was there.

When the announcement came that intermission was almost over, my mom and I reluctantly exited the ladies washroom. We saw my brother chatting to my dad far enough away that we wouldn’t have to walk past him or say hello in order to get back to our seats. Once my dad was safely in his seat (mercifully quite some distance away), my brother came back, and joined us in our seats.

He was only 13 years old, and he’d handled the situation like a pro when my mom and I were both extremely shaken up. As the house lights went down, he mentioned that he and my dad would visit my sister backstage after the show. Once they were done talking, my brother would walk my sister to my mom’s car. With my mom and me already in it so we wouldnt have to see him again tonight.

My brother was only 7 when we left my dad, and I had always thought of him as the one least affected by the abuse. Perhaps even unaware of the worst of it. We didn’t talk about it a whole lot after we got out. I was the oldest, and even I didn’t find out about the post separation and divorce death threats until a decade later.

But my little brother’s actions at 13 suggested he was very well aware his mom and his oldest sister could not handle seeing their ex-husband/father again that night. And he arranged everything so we wouldn’t have to. As the youngest in the family he rarely took on the “man of the house” mantle. But that night he did so. Even though he must have been worried about there being a scene in front of my sister’s school friends and their families.

When I first watched 1.05 of YR in November 2022, something felt vaguely familiar and uncomfortable about the Lucia scene with Micke. It wasn’t until my third time watching the episode that I connected the dots to an incident that had happened 27 years earlier in my own life.

So yeah, maybe I’m reading too much into it because of my own experiences. Nonetheless, I can believe that Linda barely reacted to Micke’s sudden and unexpected presence because she was fucking terrified. And that Sara had seen Linda freeze up in front of Micke like that before, so she asked Simon to protect her instead.

It would also play in with Sara’s anger and resentment at Linda. If there had been previous incidents where Linda instinctively froze up and her kids had to deal with Micke on their own, and/or shield Linda themselves from Micke’s anger and drunkenness. Sara could be simultaneously grateful her brother used to try and draw Micke’s fire before the divorce, and ashamed because he’s her little brother. Sara’s supposed to protect him, not the other way around.

And it would feed into Sara’s feelings of betrayal at Simon in 1.05 and 1.06 (and her cutting a deal with August). If Simon knows from bitter personal experience exactly what their dad is like, because he’s stepped between Micke and Sara to protect Sara in the past. And yet despite all that, Simon still reinitiated contact with the guy who’d hurt them. Thus inadvertently exposing Sara to Micke at what had probably been the happiest and proudest night of her life until Micke showed up.

Overthinking

Question for the fandom.

Am I wrong to wonder whether there's more to this sentence than is visible at first blush?

Two things make me wonder about this. First, because of the tense - "everything he did for you". Which sounds as if whatever Simon did for Sara, it's in the past. Or Linda thinks it is.

And second, because most of the things we've seen Simon do for Sara in the show are, I'm pretty sure, things Linda doesn't know about. Sourcing booze so Sara can go to the Hillerska party? Stealing his dad's drugs so that August won't pester Sara for them? Linda doesn't know about them, and would not be pleased if she did. The only thing Simon has done for Sara that we know she's aware of is Simon transferring schools with Sara to make sure she wasn't bullied at Hillerska as she had at Marieberg.

By extension, I suppose we can also assume that Simon protected Sara at Marieberg to some extent, or at least tried to once he became aware of what was happening. Maybe that's it. But we also know that Simon tends to underplay both the bad things that happen at Hillerska and his own key role in trying to fix them, in order to keep Linda from worrying about her children. So whatever Linda's referring to here, chances are that Simon did a lot more than she knows.

Am I reading too much into this? Is it lost in translation?

[captains-simp]

Wanda Maximoff ~ Fake It Till You Make It

Wanda version of this fic as requested by @yeetus-thyself

7.7k words

Warnings: shitty family and homophobia

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Pleeaasse, Wan" You pouted once again. You had been begging Wanda for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.

"I'm busy." Wanda said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.

"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.

"I thought you said it was a few days." Wanda quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.

"It is." You confirmed with some hope.

"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.

"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.

"Please, Wan." You tried. "I need a win." Wanda stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.

"I'll think about it." Wanda finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard. It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.

Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.

As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with. You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.

Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Wanda.

Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.

However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Wanda girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Wanda. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.

You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Wanda agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Yelena or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Wanda and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Wanda.

"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Wanda wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).

"Tomorrow." She answered, keeping her focused tone.

"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance the redhead gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.

"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.

"Be safe." Wanda strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

*

"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.

"No." Wanda replied as she adjusted her earpiece.

"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Wanda would still say no.

"Nope." She said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."

Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Wanda rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casual and it was never anything fancy or different. She had always wanted to though.

"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.

"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Wanda was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.

"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.

"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Wanda clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."

Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.

"Yeah." Wanda sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Wanda had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.

"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Wanda's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."

"You think I should do it?" She asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend and mentor's advice in that area.

"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Wanda's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.

*

You had been overjoyed when Wanda told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment. It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.

On the drive up to the cabin you and Wanda stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Wanda's acknowledging smiles.

"So what's the plan?" Wanda asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the Avenger wanted a strategy.

"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Wanda didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."

"Impress me?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Wanda chuckled her heart warming laugh as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.

"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Wanda clearly hadn't though.

"It will be an honour to turn them down." Wanda said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.

When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Wanda a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.

"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Wanda more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Wanda. "You must be Wanda, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought the redhead in for a hug too. She raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh.

The others came over to greet you and mainly Wanda in a rush, overwhelming both of you.

"You two will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.

"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.

You and Wanda made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.

"That was...a lot." Wanda summarised as she said her bag under the bed.

"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.

"It's just a few days." Wanda said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.

"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Wanda's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.

Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.

"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.

"I do, I'm one myself." Wanda said as she continued to hold onto your hand.

"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.

"They're good." Wanda said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Wanda pretended not to notice making you smile.

"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Wanda exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.

"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."

Bull. Shit.

"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Wanda an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.

They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Wanda and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the redhead weren't all that bad.

Your family continued to catch up and and you and Wanda half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.

Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Wanda had contained four potentially devastating bombs from going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.

"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.

"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.

"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Wanda with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.

"The team loves it." Wanda said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Wabda wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.

No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.

"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.

"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Wanda cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.

"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.

"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.

It was certainly a first for your family.

When everyone had finished their food you and Wanda excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Wanda shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The redhead shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.

When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.

"You should go get changed." Wanda said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.

You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.

You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Wanda.

You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies.

About ten minutes into the movie Wanda spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.

"Yeah." You whispered back.

"You can talk to me." She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Wanda clearly.

"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.

"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Wanda wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.

You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.

*

Wanda was one of the most intimate people you had ever met. It was mainly something she aimed towards you and Natasha but didn't refrain from comforting others and giving hugs to anyone who would take one. She never held back at all with you, as far as you knew. But when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Wanda's ended, you were still surprised to find yourselves like that. Butterflies flew around in your stomach in a way you knew was dangerous but couldn't help but love.

You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.

You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Wanda woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.

You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.

"Morning." Wanda croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.

"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.

You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Wanda was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. That training with Natasha really was paying off. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Wanda noticed you.

"Don't make a sound." Wanda warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.

You and Wanda had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.

The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.

You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Wanda joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.

The redhead wasn't all that competitive, in fact you were pretty sure she let other people win games on the regular to make them feel better about themselves. But there was an undeniable spark of mischief in her eyes when she saw the table.

"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.

"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.

"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Wanda hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.

You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Wanda was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Wanda who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.

The moment you missed the ball a small smile tugged at the corner of Wanda's lips, her celebration was short lived when you suddenly sent the ball back her way until it was too late.

"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.

"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again.

Wanda huffed dramatically and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.

You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.

At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.

"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.

"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Wanda refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.

You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Wanda's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.

"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.

"Maybe we should take it back with us." Wanda whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should.

Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis. You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.

"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.

The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Wanda sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whenever one of them was nearby.

Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too.

You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Wanda that the redhead never failed to notice.

The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Wanda picked out a DVD from her bag of an old Sokovian show she used to watch as a child and had you hooked on as well as teaching you the language.

She settled down beside you and within the first few scenes she wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further like she did sometimes when you watched things together. You were barely paying attention to the series after that.

Despite trying to keep your focus on understanding what was happening in scenes of the show, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Wanda's arms.

Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Wanda ever experienced and she always tried to do it as little as possible to refrain from falling for you more. It never worked.

*

You had thought waking up in Wanda's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the redhead was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest.

It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.

Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.

Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.

*

When you woke up again Wanda was gone. Her absence left an emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Wanda was going to effect you even more when it was over.

Over...you couldn't think about that.

Once you got up and got changed you found Wanda in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, honey." You grinned. Wanda blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.

"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.

You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Wanda about an upcoming party that she should go to. Wanda mumbled something about a busy schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.

Eventually, you and Wanda became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the redhead and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.

You made a point of holding Wanda's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.

"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.

You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted.

The redhead brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.

"It's beautiful here." Wanda said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.

"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.

"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.

"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.

"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Wanda's features.

"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.

"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.

"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."

"We?" Wanda asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.

"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The redhead considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.

"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.

"You want to go back?" Wanda asked and you grinned.

"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Wanda did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.

It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Wanda kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.

Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Wabda before starting towards the edge. The redhead frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.

To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.

"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Wanda's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.

She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.

"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side.

Wanda's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.

"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.

"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."

"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.

"Are you scared, Wan?" You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.

"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.

"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.

Wanda held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the redhead sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.

You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. And you have powers! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below. You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.

"Fuck." Wanda whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.

"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.

"Yeah yeah." She laughed and paused when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.

"They're looking." Wanda muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.

"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Wanda's brown eyes to stop you looking at your family.

"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.

"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.

"I know." Wanda laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.

Wanda's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the redhead's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.

"Can I?" Wanda whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.

You smiled into the kiss and felt Wanda do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together. Your mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Wanda didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.

When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.

"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Wanda chuckle.

"Not too bad yourself." She teased.

"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Wanda nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down. You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Wanda. You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.

You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.

You didn't realise Wanda mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.

Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them.

You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.

Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Wanda spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.

You and Wanda went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet. Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Wanda liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.

"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Wanda purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.

"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.

"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.

Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Wanda stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Wanda's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.

"So Wanda," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.

Oh boy you though.

"I don't think it's my place to say." Wanda said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.

"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.

"I could, but I'm not going to." Wanda continued to defy.

"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing someone who had been trained by Natasha Romanoff.

"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.

"He's married!" Dalton objected.

"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but Dalton just scoffed.

"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."

"What does that mean?" Wanda asked with narrowed eyes, feeling protective of her teammates. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.

"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Wanda stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the redhead's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?

Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"

"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.

"Then you're idiots." Wanda stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"

"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.

You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the redhead was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.

She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.

Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Wanda said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?

When you stopped crying you became aware of Wanda gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.

"I think we should go tomorrow." Wanda mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."

"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.

"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the redhead to look at her clearly.

"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffed and she smiled at you fondly.

"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.

"It was all an act though." You whispered and Wanda chuckled as she exhaled sharply.

"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.

"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.

"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Wanda's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.

You closed the gap between you and kissed Wanda with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her.

When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.

"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."

"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.

"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.

"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.

"Yeah." You said back.

"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.

"Your girlfriend would love to."

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Go to the ends of the earth for you - Part 1

I truly have no idea where all this writing is coming from, and I have no willpower to actually sit on a fic until it's finished before posting, so enjoy.

I've tried to research but I'm probably WAY off here with any charges etc but soap magic...just enjoy it and don't take much notice of reality!

(AO3 link)

“Well it’s not quite that simple.” Ethan pipes up and Aaron spots a tiny roll of his eyes as he looks from Vic to Cain. “From what I’ve been told, you did actually hit this Lee Posner, but I don’t think it should’ve been classed as GBH with intent originally, which automatically became a murder charge.”

“Wait, are you saying Wise trumped up the charges on purpose? Why?” He reaches for Robert’s hand again, he sounds completely bewildered and he doesn’t blame him, his own head is spinning.

“Not exactly. What I’m saying is, all of his convictions are now in doubt. We’re talking cases going back years.” That has him freezing, gripping Robert’s hand even tighter because if they were looking at everything then that meant…He stops himself from going down that road, there was nothing they could do, Gordon was dead, it was over. “It means there’s a case for your charge to be reduced to involuntary manslaughter, or more technically subjectively reckless manslaughter because it can be argued that you didn’t actually intend to kill him, and given the harassment you were subjected to. I don’t know why your last solicitor didn’t make more of that really.” Aaron can’t help raising an eyebrow at that. “Which would obviously carry a much lighter sentence than a murder charge. I think, even with the absconding we could get a sentence of eighteen months to two years, likely only half of which would be custodial.”

Aaron’s not sure how long they’d been there, not speaking, the only sound was Seb’s occasional giggles as he watched a cartoon. Robert’s standing at the window staring out over their garden and he’s in the chair by the fireplace watching.

“Robert, talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He’d barely said a word since Ethan had spoken. It had been left to Aaron to convince them to leave them to it, give them some time alone. Vic had protested, Cain had complained about the cold, and in the end he’d all but shoved them out the door. Only Ethan had nodded an understanding and Aaron was glad of it. He still had no real idea who the guy was but he seemed alright. He knew Vic wouldn’t stay away that long and still he and Robert hadn’t spoken. “It doesn’t feel real.”

“We need to decide what to do though, because I know your sister and she’s going to be banging the door down soon enough.”

“You want to go home don’t you?”

He doesn’t answer straight away because honestly he doesn’t know. Going home means Robert going to prison, albeit for a much shorter time. It means seeing his family again, dealing with all that stress. But it also means Robert won’t be classed as a murderer any more, it means they can go where they like, when they like without worrying about what’s round the next corner. It means they can have Seb back in their lives.

“Aaron? It’s ok if you do.” Finally he turns round.

“What do you want?” A shrug is all he gets. “I can’t make this decision alone Robert, we both have to agree on this. What are you thinking? I’m not going to get mad or ‘owt, but I need to know.”

“I don’t…” He perches on the arm of the sofa, hand running through Seb’s hair. “I don’t know that I want to go back to the village. I’m always going to be the Robert Sugden who killed someone, the Robert Sugden who cheated, there’s too much history and not much of it good.”

“Ok, so we find somewhere else.”

“Just like that?” He nods. It’s simple enough to him. “I’ll still go inside.”

“Yeah.” The thought of it alone leaves him cold. “You will, but it could be just a year Rob, maybe less with a great barrister. We were expecting that anyway weren’t we? And I’ll be there, every week, I promise.”

“What if…what if they decide it’s murder anyway? I did kill him, DS Wise didn’t lie about that?”

“I don’t think Cain would’ve come to us with this if he wasn’t sure. That Ethan seems to know what he’s talking about. If we go back then we just have to take a big leap of faith. But if you don’t think you can do it then we’ll just stay where we are.”

“Without him?” He nods at Seb. He was the major sticking point. It was clear that neither of them was truly bothered about going back to Emmerdale, but staying meant Seb wouldn’t be with them, he’d have to go back to Vic.

“How are you…I mean about Rebecca?” He’d not said a word when Vic had told him about the accident, how she’d been called by social services looking for next of kin for Seb.

“I…everything I didn’t want for him is happening. I let him down, left him behind, he’s lost his Mum…how did this happen Aaron? It was all going to be so different for him.”

“You can’t make life perfect Robert, all you can do is deal with what comes along. He’s loved, he’s safe and he looks fairly happy to me. Surely that’s the main thing.”

“Maybe. Doesn’t help us decide what to do though, does it?”

“Talk to Ethan again, just you and him, no interference from anyone. Find out how sure he is about all this, and then whatever you decide is what we do.” He knew already, he knew Robert wouldn’t leave his son again, and there was nothing tying them to the village anymore, they could go where they pleased, just like they could now he supposed, but this way they’d be together. He just needed Robert to come to that realisation himself.

—————

“Ready?” He puts the key into the ignition, looking over at his husband. All he gets is a nod. “Right then.”

They’d decided to go home, like he’d known they would. Robert hadn’t wanted Seb living with Vic, he wanted him with them. He’d always be grateful for her taking him in when she had her own newborn to cope with, but he couldn’t leave him without his Daddies any longer.

“You know I won’t get bail don’t you?”

“Yeah. Like Ethan said though they want all this sorted so they’ll get to you pretty quick. Besides one of the advantages of remand is I can come and see you every day.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Don’t be an idiot. Besides I’ll be glad to get out of the village won’t I? By the time you get out I’ll have everything sorted and then we can go where we like. Can even come back here if you want.”

“You’d want that?”

“Sure. Seb would love it here, he could grow up bilingual and all.”

“That’d be handy seeing as your French ends up getting us into trouble.” Their laughter fills the car for a few moments before Robert sobers. “We’re really doing this, I’m really handing myself in?”

“Looks like it. Ethan’s going to meet us at the train and go with you, and I’ll carry on back to the village.” They’d been over and over it. He’d wanted to go with him and Ethan but as Robert reasoned there was little point, he wouldn’t be able to see him once he was arrested. All he could do was go back and wait by the phone. “I’ll book in at the B&B.”

“You could go to Mill, you own half of it.” Robert tells him as they head out onto the main road, the cottage disappearing from sight in the rear view mirror.

“No. I don’t want to go there now. It’s not home anymore. Paddy saw to that.”

“Are you going to see him again?” Robert sounded concerned and he couldn’t blame him.

“I doubt I’ll have a choice. No doubt Mum will be round as soon as she knows I’m there. Don’t worry, I can handle him. All I’m interested in is seeing Seb, getting all that sorted, and visiting you. Everything else can wait.”

“I wish I was coming back with you. I don’t like you being there alone.”

“Like I told you when we left, getting arrested for murdering Paddy isn’t going to help our situation is it. I’m done Robert, I’ve seen now, I know what was going on and that’s it, it’s not happening anymore. I’ll be fine.”

“Hmm.” He looks over, then pulls the car into a lay-by.

“Listen to me, when you’re in there, I don’t want you worrying about me, ok? I need you to concentrate on yourself, getting yourself through it, keeping safe and out of trouble.” Robert nods. “We’re going to get through this, and then it’s just going to be you and me, and Seb and we’re going to live our best lives. Trust me.”

“I always have.”

The rest of the drive is quiet, only his chatter about nothing in particular breaking the silence, trying his best to keep Robert’s mind off everything that’s coming. He’s relieved when Robert falls asleep, needing the peace just as he had when they were making the reverse journey. This felt much harder, going home, leaving Robert for who knew how long. He had to be strong, to not let Robert see how worried he was. For so long it had been Robert who was the strong one, the one he knew he could always lean on, even when Robert himself needed someone. This last year he’d been the strong one, trying to keep them both together and he just had to do that a little while longer.

————

“How much longer?” Robert’s pacing and driving Aaron slightly crazy. They were parked up near the station, waiting for Ethan.

“Come here.” He holds a hand out to him, waiting until he relented and sat beside him on the bonnet of the car. “He’ll be here.”

“I just want it over with.”

“I know. He text me, he’s nearly here, and he’s set up a meeting with one of his colleagues so we can get the ball rolling on Seb coming home to us.”

“Don’t bring him. To prison. I don’t want him to see me in there.”

“Ok.” It wasn’t as if Aaron wanted to take Seb into that place either. “But don’t you go getting any ideas about cutting off my visits. I know you, you’ll get some noble idea in your head, but don’t. I’m going to be there as much as I can, like I told you.”

“I promise.” He looks round, seeing a car pull in next to them, recognising Ethan in the driver’s seat. “Well…”

Now the moment is here, Aaron doesn’t want him to go, wants to hold onto him as long as he can.

“Sooner you go, sooner you’re home, right?” He gets up, relieved Ethan’s staying in the car, giving them some time. “Call me, the minute you can.”

“I will.” He can’t help it, steps closer, holding onto both his hands, foreheads touching, savouring every moment. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.” He still doesn’t move, not until he hears a car door open and Ethan’s quiet cough behind him. “You better go.”

“I could come through with you.”

“If they stop you it’s better you’re with a solicitor. It’ll be just as hard to leave wherever we are.” He kisses him then, trying to commit the feel of him to memory, hoping it won’t be that long before he comes home. “Go on. I’ll see you soon.”

He watches him go, eyes locked with his until the car has turned and he can’t see his face any longer. Only then does he get back into his own car.

———-

The village looks exactly the same as he pulls to a stop outside the B&B. It’s mid afternoon and there are people milling around although he doesn’t recognise them. He can see Vic’s car outside the house and he decides to go over later, to see Seb, but first he wants to get inside the B&B without running into anyone he knows.

“Well, well, well, look who the cat dragged in.” He can just manage a tired smile when he hears his Gran’s voice. “The proverbial black sheep.”

“I’m too tired for a lecture Gran.”

“No lectures here love. You’re not the only one on the naughty list this year. Now, I guess you’re after a room?” He nods. “Just you?”

“Yeah.” He tries really hard but he can’t help but check his phone again. It’s on it’s loudest setting along with vibrate, he doesn’t want to miss a call, but there’s nothing. “I don’t know how long for.”

“Here you go, number five. Go on, I’ll bring you up a nice hot cuppa. You look like you need it.”

He all but collapses in the chair when he gets to the room, worn out and worried. It’s the first time since he first came to the village that he feels as though he has nowhere to go. Now he’s here, it’s harder than he thought. Knowing his family are right there and could come up to him at any time isn’t at all comforting. He knows he has Cain to go to for help, but other than that he’s not sure who to turn to.

Just as there’s a knock on the door his phone rings. Grabbing it he answers as he opens the door to his Gran.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” Robert’s quiet and he holds the phone closer as if that will make him closer to him.

“Robert. You ok?”

“Yeah. Are you home?”

“Just now. Gran’s just brought me a cuppa. Where are you?”

“Still at the station. They’re moving me soon I think, I don’t…I don’t know if I can do this Aaron.”

“Yeah you can. You’re stronger than you think you are Rob, and you’ve got me, and you’ve got Seb and we love you. We’ll be right here, whether you like it or not.” He wipes his tears away with his sleeve, sensing his Gran sitting beside him. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“I know. I have to go.”

“Yeah. Get Ethan to let me know where you are and I’ll come and visit as soon as I can…You know.”

“I know.” He’s barely hung up when his Gran is gathering him up and holding him as the tears he’s been holding in since they made the decision to come back finally fall.

“Come on now love, this isn’t going to help him.”

“I know.” It was just everything finally getting too much, he’d held it all together until he knew Robert was as safe as he could be and now he couldn’t do it any longer.

“Come on, drink up and then go over and see that little boy of yours.”

“I don’t know. I’m not really up to running into Mum, or Liv, or Paddy, not yet. Might just stay here tonight.”

“Wallowing isn’t going to help. I know for a fact that your Mum has taken your little sister into Hotten and Paddy was complaining of a day full of calls this morning so you should be just fine. Liv’s at college.”

“Sister? I thought…”

“We all did love. Bit of a surprise. They called her Eve, bonny little thing she is too. Didn’t Cain tell you?”

“I didn’t ask. Last time I text Mum she didn’t reply so…” He’d taken it to mean she’d sided with Paddy, wasn’t surprised. How often in the past had she sided with anyone but him. “She’s…she’s ok right?”

“Perfect. I’m babysitting tomorrow in fact so I’ll introduce you.” That makes him smile and he nods. “Now, like I said, go see that little boy of yours. You can’t do anything for Robert right now, it’s time to take care of yourself.”

———-

He’s just leaving Keeper’s when he sees Ethan’s car and he jogs over. An evening with Seb had been just what he needed and he’d only left when he’d put him to bed.

“Ethan! Do you know where he is? Can I visit?” He realises he’s being a bit over the top when he opens the car door for him. “Sorry. I…spoke to Robert. Was he ok when you left?”

“He’s ok. He’s been moved to Hotten remand centre, and he should get a court date in a few days. You can visit tomorrow.”

“Thank you, for everything…and it’s like you said? Involuntary manslaughter?”

“The prosecution are willing to go with that charge. Like I said before they want all this to go away. Given Robert’s lack of previous convictions, the mitigating circumstances, the fact he’s not a threat to the wider community and his guilty plea, I’m pretty confident. Try not to worry.”

“Why are you helping us? You don’t even know us.”

“I won’t lie, this kind of case for a relatively new solicitor, it’ll give me a leg up. Mostly it was because Victoria wouldn’t let me rest until I did.”

“That sounds about right. Well, whatever the reason, thank you. You don’t know how much this means. I owe you.”

“Well I don’t do this for free.” He laughs, he likes him. “But you can always buy me a drink if we happen to meet in the pub.”

“I’m not sure you should have to pay for a drink again for doing this. Thanks again.”

“Anytime.”

He looks up at the pub when Ethan’s gone, knows it’s inevitable he’ll have to go in at some point but he’s not ready. The whole place feels alien to him now, their little sanctuary in France feels so far away and Robert feels even further.

He takes one more look before turning away and going back to the B&B. It can wait. Now he just wants to get through his first night without Robert.

[maribatshipper]

Trollhunting Lantern Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Scarlett walks into Bracha’s house the next day with Crystal and Oriel behind her.

“It did something awesome, Bracha!” Scarlett smiles.

Bracha pulls the girls into her bedroom, which oddly enough, had a bed that looked like a sandwich.

“First, I’ve never heard of a Trollhunter. Second, what happened?” Bracha asks.

Crystal frowns, “She hasn’t shown us yet.”

Oriel smiles, “But you need to see something else!”

Scarlett pulls out her phone and plays the video of what happened to Nicholas. Bracha stares, unable to peel her eyes away.

“You did that?” Bracha asks Crystal.

Crystal nods.

“He had it coming to him after what he did to you.” Bracha sighs.

The three sisters sigh, remembering their innocence being taken away.

“Anyway, that’s not what we came here to show you.” Scarlett smirks.

She pulls out the glowing Amulet, excitement in her veins.

She smirks, “For the Glory of Merlin, Daylight is-”

*CRASH!*

Everyone runs downstairs to see a cat pushed down a vase, smashing it apart.

“Chaos! Bad Chaos! Bad Cat!” Bracha yells.

Crystal is already picking up the pieces and cutting herself.

“There she goes again.” Scarlett mumbles.

The girls have already gotten used to seeing Crystal act before she thinks.

“Leave it, Crystal.” Scarlett tells her.

Crystal gives Scarlett a strange look. Oriel grabs gloves which she always has on her for some reason and picks the pieces up and puts them in a bag.

“In case you want to put them back together.” Oriel smiles.

“Anyway… watch!” Scarlett exclaims. “For the Glory of Merlin, Daylight is Mine to Command!”

She floats, and a few other things float alongside her as the armour appears on her body.

“WOAH!” Everyone gasps.

Scarlett smirks, “I know, right?”

“You got to use this against Nicholas!” Crystal exclaims.

Scarlett facepalms, “Not happening.”

Suddenly, Chaos hisses towards the back door. Scarlett sees a familiar figure outside the window. She rolls her eyes and puts her finger to her mouth. She sneaks over to the back door and stays perfectly quiet. She looks at the other 3 and mimes, “Talk.”

Crystal exclaims, “Why do you guys get all the cool stuff?!”

Everyone stops and looks at her in shock. When Scarlett said “Talk”, she didn’t mean throw a tantrum.

“Crystal, you’ll get something good later. I’m sure.” Oriel smiles, eyes full of hope for her sister.

Scarlett thumbs up the girls and opens the door, causing a familiar blue troll to crash into the floor, and a girl with a white stripe in her hair falling on top of the troll.

“It’s impolite to spy on people.” Scarlett smirks.

Bracha stares at the Troll, and immediately prepares her ring.

“Bracha, no need to go Greeny on them. I’m sure Blinky has an explanation to why he was spying on us with this girl.” Scarlett smirks.

Blinky blinks his six eyes and asks, “Why did you tell her about the amulet?”

Scarlett sighs, “A, she’s my best friend. B, she can possibly teach me important things I may need. And C, she also has something that chose her to be its wielder. Is there a problem with telling Bracha?”

Blinky sighs, “Lady Scarlett, we Trolls have gone to great lengths to keep our existence hidden from humans, lest there be panic.”

Scarlett nods, “I understand that. The government is full of idiots dissecting things they don’t understand. Or so TV tells us. And this girl is one of the few that do know because she’s not gonna kill you.”

Bracha frowns, “So, you know who they are, Scarlett?”

Scarlett sighs, “I know Blinky. He... visited my house last night. Which is when Crystal beat up Nicholas.”

Crystal starts grumbling.

Bracha asks, “So why have you been spying on Scarlett again?”

“Your friend is the Trollhunter. Her sacred obligation is to protect.” The girl smirks as she gets up.

Bracha stares at Scarlett. Scarlett shrugs, as if she knows what is ahead and isn’t scared.

“You are protecting things now, Scarlett? Great. Now you’ll be boring. Here’s a better question. Who would Scarlett be protecting?” Oriel frowns.

Blinky simply answers, “Trolls and Mankind.”

Scarlett sighs, “Let me guess. From evil trolls?”

Blinky nods, “As well as Goblins, Gruesomes, and the occasional rogue gnome. The mantle of the Trollhunter is a sacred responsibility. You are the second human to inherit it.”

Scarlett nods in thought, then asks, “And who’s she?”

The girl smiles, “I’m Claire. I was the previous Trollhunter’s girlfriend.”

Scarlett asks, “So, what was he? A human, or Troll, or what?”

Blinky smiles, “He was a Human/Troll hybrid.”

Oriel asks, “How does that work? Was his Mum a human and his Dad a troll?”

Claire giggles, “It’s not like that. He was actually spelled into being a troll.”

Crystal frowns, “Typical. What happened to the previous Trollhunter?”

Claire looks away for a moment.

“He was slain, by a vicious troll called Venjo. His name was James Lake Jr.” Blinky fills in for Claire.

Scarlett groans, “This is one of those “Till death” kind of deals, isn’t it?”

Claire nods. Bracha stares in shock.

“Great! At least Bracha can be fired from the Green Lantern Corps. I’ll just write up my will early. Bracha, you get my strange object collection.” Scarlett jokes.

Crystal grumbles, “I wanted your strange object collection.”

Claire goes to say something about Crystal not caring about Scarlett going to die when Scarlett puts her hand on her mouth.

Oriel sighs, “Don’t worry, she’s like this all the time.”

“Please tell me Venjo got lucky.” Bracha frowns in concern.

Claire frowns, “I wish he did. But he isn’t one to take lightly.”

Oriel asks, “Was the last Trollhunter off his game or having a bad day or something?”

Claire shakes her head, “If only. He defeated 2 Trolls that no other Trollhunter could.”

Scarlett groans and bangs her head on a wall.

Bracha whispers, “Ignore it. She does odd things when stressed. You can tell the girls are related.”

Crystal frowns, “If James-”

“We actually called him Jim.” Claire interrupts.

Crystal retries, “If Jim couldn’t defeat Venjo, then… What’s gonna happen to Scarlett?”

Scarlett groans, “Didn’t you get it? Unless I get really good training in less than two days, I’m gonna die. It’s pretty obvious.”

Blinky smiles, “We’d never expect Lady Scarlett to engage in battle without any proper training.”

Oriel asks, “How long does the training last?”

Blinky hesitates, “Decades.”

Scarlett groans, “And let me guess. I only have a few days. JUST GREAT! Just perfect! Yippie Ki Aye! I’m gonna die before I hit twenty!”

She bangs her head more on the wall.

“Hey, you’re gonna break the wall!” Bracha exclaims.

She’s already gotten used to Scarlett’s family’s strange impulses.

“Besides, Scarlett, it’s not that bad. Jim didn’t have a day’s training before the first time he met Bular.” Claire smiles.

Scarlett gives Claire a glare that made Crystal, Oriel, and even Bracha duck behind a couch. And everyone who knows Bracha knows that Bracha doesn’t scare easily. Scarlett takes a deep breath, and collapses into a big lump of flesh and armour.

 ***

 “We should start your training immediately, Lady Scarlett.” Blinky frowns.

Scarlett sighs, “Yeah, yeah. With great power comes great responsibility. But I have a life I have to keep up if I want to keep trolls secret and that sort of stuff. Besides, I’m only sixteen. I suppose I can’t give this amulet back, though, can I?”

Scarlett pulls the amulet off, getting rid of the armour.

“You cannot give it back. It called to you. It is your sacred obligation. You cannot refuse it. It is yours until you die. Lady Scarlett, You are now responsible for the safety of two worlds, human and troll alike. If you do not keep the balance, evil trolls like Venjo will come into yours and wreak havoc.” Blinky sighs.

“Great. So Venjo is gonna basically kill my family if I don’t do this?” Scarlett sighs as she gets up off the floor.

Crystal asks, “If she doesn’t want the amulet, can I have it?”

Scarlett facepalms, “We just established I can’t get rid of it!”

Crystal asks, “When did we establish this?”

Scarlett scoffs, “Just two seconds ago!”

Crystal mumbles, “Oh, I wasn’t listening, I was thinking about something else.”

Scarlett sighs, “Anyway... What’s the catch?”

Claire sighs, “Well, with the amulet in your possession, Venjo will seek you out, and... You’ll have to face him. One way or another.”

“Great. Just great. I need to process this. It’s still morning. Only nine o’clock. Come back later. I have a midday shift. I will think about this really hard while I’m at Maccas.” Scarlett sighs.

Claire smiles, “Sure. We’ll come back tonight to begin your training.”

Scarlett nods and looks at the Amulet in her hand, wondering if it could choose someone who doesn’t live in a crazy family.

“Lady Scarlett, if I may,” Blinky smiles. “Destiny is a gift. Some go their entire lives living existences of quiet desperation, never learning the truth, that what feels as though a burden pushing down upon our shoulders is actually a sense of purpose that lifts us to greater heights. Never forget that fear is but the precursor to valour, that to strive and triumph in the face of fear is what it means to be a hero. Don’t think, Lady Scarlett. Become.”

Crystal, Oriel and Bracha look at Blinky in admiration at his words. Scarlett looks him up and down.

Scarlett smirks, “You’ve rehearsed that speech, haven’t you?”

Everyone looks at Scarlett in shock.

“He said that same thing to Jim. So, I assume he did.” Claire smirks.

Scarlett sighs, “Okay, time for you to go. Hurry, before someone sees you.”

Blinky and Claire leave, with Claire holding an umbrella over Blinky for some unknown reason.

 ***

 Scarlett takes someone’s order on the Kiosk because they are very confused about how to use it.

“Which Coke? Diet Coke, Vanilla Coke or regular Coke?” Scarlett asks.

The man replies, “Diet Coke.”

Scarlett nods and finishes his order.

“Cash or card?”

“Card.”

“Eat in or Take Away?”

“Take Away.”

Scarlett smiles as he pays for it and takes his receipt.

“Have a great day, sir!” Scarlett smiles.

Scarlett sees her sisters and Bracha standing nearby.

“Where did you put it?” Crystal asks.

Scarlett answers, “My locker. It’s the only place where I can put it. You don’t get pockets with the uniform. Unless you guys wanna hold it?”

Oriel frowns, “No way, sis. It’s your responsibility.”

Scarlett mumbles, “I don’t even know how Wonder Woman can keep her identity secret. Could you possibly ask the other human Lanterns that are part of the Justice League to give you some tips for me, Bracha?”

Bracha rolls her eyes. “Last time Batman came, we ended up having to clean up the biggest mess in the history of Batman messes. I’m not asking him or his team for any favours.”

Scarlett sighs, “Well, when they find some “Activity” around here, they’re gonna come knocking anyway.”

Crystal and Oriel exchange glances.

“Will that be necessary?” Oriel asks.

Scarlett sighs, “From all I’ve gathered, the League won’t care that there are already people taking care of evil. As soon as they find out children are doing the work, Batman will quite possibly go crazy. I got more work to do. Talk more later.���

Scarlett walks away, feeling really weird around the place. She is glad she only started talking near the end of the shift.

“You okay, Scarlett?” Caillou asks.

Scarlett looks into his brown eyes and shrugs, “Yeah. Just got a weird feeling. Like something’s gonna happen that shouldn’t happen. Like if I take the normal route home, something bad might happen. That kind of feeling. But as long as I’m walking home with Bracha, I’ll be safe as possible.”

Caillou asks, “Why do you think that?”

Scarlett rolls her eyes, while mentally coming up with a good lie.

“She’s been learning Karate. She can take out a guy with a knife. I’m pretty sure that was part of her training.”

Scarlett mentally fist bumps herself, glad it came out without any hesitation and sounded completely honest.

“Alright. If you’re sure.” Caillou shrugs.

Scarlett clocks out of her shift, like yesterday, and throws on her jumper. She grabs her bag and looks at the amulet glowing in the bag. She ignores it and walks out to her sisters and friend.

“Okay, let’s go, guys. I have one of those feelings.” Scarlett smiles.

Oriel looks around and nods. All four girls walk out.

 ***

 “I know we don’t need to worry, but I am seriously worried girls. My gut’s going nuts. It’s as if the Joker’s around!” Scarlett frowns.

Oriel nods, “Yeah, ever since we left, I’ve been worried too.”

Crystal scoffs, “We got Scarlett and Bracha with us. What could happen?”

Bracha facepalms, “Haven’t you ever watched TV? Whenever someone asks that, something bad happens.”

Suddenly, they see a monster in front of them.

“Trollhunter! Merlin’s creation!” The monster exclaims.

Scarlett groans, “I suppose you are Venjo?”

The monster nods.

“Bracha, can you take this?” Scarlett mumbles.

Bracha exclaims, “NO! My ring needs charging!”

Scarlett feels her heart fall to her feet. Oriel already knows what Bracha means. The girls know that the sun is an important role in keeping trolls away from humans.

“Surrender, and I will give you a speedy death!” Venjo yells.

Scarlett deadpans, “And if we don’t, you’ll give us a slow and painful death? Is there an offer where we don’t die?”

Venjo just snarls.

“RUN!” Oriel exclaims.

Everyone runs away as fast as they can, with Scarlett saying the incantation like it would make her grow magic hair. For some reason, Crystal has Scarlett’s phone in her hands and is looking for something.

“This is where Rapunzel’s moonstone hair would come in handy, guys!” Scarlett exclaims.

Crystal asks, “You mean the “Wither and decay, end this destiny, break these earthly chains and set the spirit free” hair?”

Scarlett yells, “No, I mean the one that gives her Pizza! OF COURSE I MEAN THAT ONE!”

Oriel yells, “Well, we better do something good soon!”

Scarlett pulls out some pepper-spray.

“I have an idea.” She smiles.

She ducks and rolls, causing Venjo to fly over her in surprise. She sprays the two glowing orbs called his eyes. He screams in pain as the other three girls hide. Scarlett sees a familiar green light. She runs to a different hiding place, behind a truck.

“Come on, you stupid Amulet! For the Glory of Merlin, Daylight is mine to command! I’m literally commanding you!” Scarlett whispers to the amulet.

Venjo pulls the truck away, and his yellow eyes are now red in pain.

He hisses, “You’ll pay for that with-”

Scarlett lands her fist in his armoured face.

“No Klingons, please! I’m still learning how to use a Bat’leth!” Scarlett exclaims.

Suddenly, she sees Bracha with the suit on.

“Although, I think you should be more worried about what’s behind you.” Scarlett smirks.

Bracha grabs Venjo with her green construct of a hand and throws him away.

“Okay, let’s go.” Bracha exclaims.

Scarlett grabs her sisters from their hiding place and runs, with Bracha flying behind, ready to attack whatever comes out.

 ***

 The girls finally stop to breathe.

“We’re alive!” Crystal almost yells.

“Lady Scarlett!” Blinky calls out.

Bracha holds her hand out to punch, then relaxes, floating down to the ground. Claire and Blinky are near the bushes.

“You didn’t tell us he looked so scary! He almost killed us! If it wasn’t for Bracha, we’d be dead!” Oriel yells at Blinky.

“And you survived! I knew you had potential!” Blinky smiles.

Scarlett just giggles. Everyone looks at her in shock. She ends up laughing so hard her sides hurt.

“You’re laughing? Dios mio! We really did get a mad one, Blinky.” Claire exclaims.

Scarlett smirks, “Claire, anyone even mildly interesting is mad in some way or another.”

Bracha rolls her eyes, a slight smile on her face. A roar is heard. The girls and Troll run.

“The amulet’s being stubborn, Blinky! Was it stubborn for Jim?” Scarlett exclaims.

Blinky hesitates, “Well, yes, at first! You’re only the second human to possess the amulet.”

Crystal exclaims, “I got it!” as she plays some chase music from Scarlett’s phone.

Claire asks, “Seriamente?! You’re playing music now?”

Oriel smirks, “When a Dubois plays chasing music, you know you’re in trouble.”

They run through a cemetery, jumping over gravestones.

“I hate cemeteries.” Crystal frowns.

Scarlett bumps into a statue of an angel and her fear spikes. The armour FINALLY appears around her.

“Are you alright, Lady Scarlett?” Blinky asks.

Oriel sighs, “She’s fine. She just hates statues that look like people. Especially ones with wings and are covering their eyes.”

Crystal asks, “You mean Weeping Angels?”

Scarlett scowls, “It’s not my fault that I fear blinking when I look at them, and I have to count my shadows when in a forest or library!”

Venjo jumps in front of the group.

“You really thought you could escape me, Trollhunter?” He asks.

Crystal frowns, “We were hoping!”

Scarlett mumbles something.

“What was that, Trollhunter?” Venjo snarls.

Scarlett says, “One word.”

“Harvey Wallbanger!” Crystal exclaims.

Everyone stares at her, then Scarlett exclaims, “How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?!”

Even Venjo is confused by this exchange.

“I don’t know! You’re the crazy chosen one!” Crystal yells.

Oriel just groans, “If you two don’t stop acting like the Doctor and Donna, I’m dragging you both home by the ear! Now, that one word, Scarlett?”

Scarlett sighs, “Loser.”

Venjo stares blankly at Scarlett, confused.

Scarlett rolls her eyes and says in an English accent, “You are a loser. Now, I want to run. I love the running. Gets my blood pumping. I could run now, or I could ask my sisters to get me a Bat’leth.”

Everyone stares at Scarlett’s lack of the fear.

“Then again, I could fight you, totally acting fearless with the sword, or I could get Bracha to throw you into space, but then you’d be a problem for everyone in space, and no one likes someone who hands their responsibilities to someone else just because they didn’t feel like it. Especially if it’s a villain trying to kill them. No one likes that. Am I funny? Well, judging by the evidence, I certainly have a gob.” Scarlett continues to rant.

Oriel slams her hand over Scarlett’s mouth. Scarlett sighs and pulls the hand away.

“Thank you. Now, back to business.” Scarlett smirks.

She pulls the sword out and puts it in her left hand. Her sisters and Bracha know this trick. Crystal plays ���Bad Reputation” from Scarlett’s phone. Venjo pulls out his own sword. Scarlett frowns, slightly disappointed he didn’t use his left hand. She shakes her head, clearing her thoughts, before she lunges, keeping her slight fear up, the fear of her sisters getting hurt. Venjo dodges easily.

“That was fast.” Scarlett mumbles.

“You’re going to be dead soon!” Venjo snarls.

Scarlett frowns, “You really think a little swordfight will kill me?”

The fight continues very energetically.

“A girl can do what she wants to do, and that’s what I’m gonna do! And I don’t give a damn ‘bout my bad reputation!” Scarlett sings.

The battle seems to go in Venjo’s favour, with Scarlett’s fear seeping through a little more, but she sticks a smile on her face, and sings with the song.

“Why is she smiling?” Blinky asks from afar.

Bracha smirks, knowing to only stay out of the fight until Scarlett gives the signal.

“We watch this movie every now and then which has many of the moves she’s using. The movie has fencing, fighting, torture, miracles, giants, and more. Just watch. It’s entertaining.” Oriel smiles.

“Keep still! I’ll drink your blood from a goblet made out of your skull!” Venjo snarls.

He pushes Scarlett to the ground, her holding her sword above her head as a shield.

Scarlett smirks, “Not possible. But your form is wonderful! I’ll admit it. You are much better than I am.”

Venjo hisses, “Then why are you smiling?”

Scarlett smirks, “Because I know something that you do not know.”

Venjo asks, “What is that?”

“I am not left-handed!”

Scarlett throws her sword up, confusing Venjo, slips out from underneath him, catches the sword with her right hand, then smacks his butt.

“Did she just-?” Claire trails off.

“Yes, she did.” Crystal smirks.

Blinky grabs a glowing crystal and draws an arc on the mountain they are near.

“Go through the portal!” He exclaims to the girls.

Bracha doesn’t move, watching Scarlett intensely for the signal.

“Lady Scarlett! Come on!” Blinky yells.

“I’m a little busy right now!” Scarlett exclaims.

“You’re not fit to wield the amulet! I’ll tear the armour off your bones.” Venjo yells.

Scarlett yells, “Not listening to idiot warrior, lalalalalalala!”

She runs towards the portal, which is slowly closing with her sisters behind it. The music is ending.

“You can make it, Scar!” Bracha yells.

Scarlett crashes onto the ground with a weight on her back.

“Any last words?” Venjo asks.

Scarlett groans, “Yeah. Volcano Wonderpants!”

Venjo pauses, then frowns, “That doesn’t-”

Bracha runs towards him and slams a giant anvil into his face, interrupting him.

“Run!” Bracha exclaims.

They both crash into the mountain wall where the portal was and groan. The armour disappears from Scarlett’s body. Bracha puts a forcefield around the two of them, making sure Venjo can’t touch them. The portal opens again, and a hand goes through and pulls both of them through.

“Are you okay, Scarlett?” Bracha asks.

Scarlett goes down on her back, breathing heavily.

“I almost… I didn’t… I’m not…” Scarlett gasps.

“Not what, Lady Scarlett?” Blinky asks.

Scarlett laughs, “I almost died!”

“Almost! A very important word. A life of almost is a life of never.”

Claire asks, “Why are you laughing? Why is she laughing?”

Crystal smirks, “Well, it’s pretty simple. Nothing makes you feel more alive than almost getting killed.”

Bracha nods, “True. You haven’t had a moment where you were just laughed after a battle?”

Scarlett giggles, “Just like Movie World. By the way, Volcano Wonderpants would have been the weirdest and worst last words ever.”

“You didn’t seem scared while battling Venjo.” Claire frowns.

“Well, “Do the scary thing first, get scared later.” Plus, I gotta tell Mum I’m gonna be home late.” Scarlett smiles.

She gets up off her butt and sends her Mum a quick text, then walks with them down a hallway.

“Blinky, can I talk to you, alone?” Scarlett asks.

Bracha knows this talk and smiles, “We’ll go on ahead, you catch up.”

Scarlett smiles, grateful for her friend’s understanding. The girls walk away and Scarlett grabs Blinky’s arm, roughly.

“Be VERY careful about what you say around Crystal. She has a… mental disorder. She has something called Autism. It isn’t as rare as it used to be, but you could research it to understand it better. Joshua has it too, which is why he wasn’t surprised about you in our basement. It takes different forms. It makes it so much harder for them to... understand things that normal people can understand. So, be very careful and patient. I wouldn’t put it past her to try to rip off your arm if you insult her.” Scarlett explains.

“What about your friend?” Blinky asks.

Scarlett scoffs, “She’s a Green Lantern. Chosen by an Alien ring to keep the Galaxy safe or something. I didn’t read the whole bio. There are many more rings, so many more can be chosen, but as far as I know, there are only 3 other human Green Lanterns. One’s a jerk, the other’s fun, and I’m not sure about the black one.”

Blinky nods in odd understanding.

 ***

 “So, what’s your story? Scarlett and Bracha are chosen ones, Oriel and I are the sisters of a chosen one, and Blinky seems to be the ancient trainer. Where do you come in?” Crystal asks.

Bracha exclaims, “Crystal!”

Crystal asks, “What? You’re a Green Lantern! I’ve got “problems”, and Oriel had-”

“Crystal!” Oriel frowns.

Crystal grumbles and stays silent.

“Will I ever know how you manage to do that, Oriel?” Bracha wonders.

Oriel shrugs.

“Well, Jim and I met at school. We were auditioning for Romeo and Juliet. He came to the audition, wearing the armour that Scarlett wore while fighting Venjo. He seemed like he didn’t want to be there until he saw me. Then he dazzled the audience with a speech, much like the one Blinky told you. He got picked to be Romeo, and I was Juliet.” Claire smiles.

Crystal mumbles, “I see where this is going.”

Bracha wills a green piece of tape around Crystal’s mouth.

“Continue.”

Claire continues, “Anyway, he started acting weird, I got suspicious, and long story short, I joined him and his friend Toby in being Trollhunters. What about you girls?” Claire asks.

Bracha sighs, “I’m a Green Lantern, chosen by a ring which comes from space, and there’s a bunch of them. There are a few human Lanterns.”

Crystal groans, “Hmmm, hmm mmm hmm mmm hmm mmm.”

Bracha takes off the will tape.

Crystal grumbles, “Yeah, and you get all the fun.”

Oriel points out, “She didn’t join in Scarlett’s fight. She just watched.”

Bracha sighs, “She didn’t want me to join. I could tell by the smile on her face. Until she was slammed into the ground and yelled Volcano Wonderpants.”

Oriel laughs, “Like in Sonic Boom?”

Bracha nods.

“Well, here we are. The Gyre.” Claire smiles.

 ***

 Blinky and Scarlett walk up to the girls at the Gyre.

“That’s one strange ball.” Scarlett shrugs.

“We use it to travel to places, much faster than a plane or train.” Claire smiles.

Bracha mumbles, “I wonder if it’s faster than a spaceship.”

Everyone climbs into the Gyre.

“Be warned, we are going to go to New Jersey in very little time. You may want to puke later.” Claire warns.

Scarlett pulls out sick bags and hands them to every girl and keeps one herself.

“Let’s get rolling, then.” Scarlett jokes.

The girls brace themselves while Blinky pushes strange symbols. They suddenly speed off, and stop what seems almost immediately, and Oriel and Crystal are already puking into the bags, Scarlett’s hair is a mess, and Bracha has terror plastered on her face.

Scarlett gasps, “That was the most terrifying thing I’ve done in my life. Let’s do it again!”

Her sisters glare at her and Scarlett falls out, giggling.

“Just like the Superman ride.” Scarlett’s still giggling.

The girls wobble out of the Gyre.

“Will we be doing that again on our way home?” Oriel asks, still sick.

Scarlett checks her phone and sees the location.

“Holy cow! We really are in New Jersey!” Scarlett gasps.

Claire and Blinky share a look and walk towards another hallway.

“This way, girls!” Claire smiles.

They walk through the hallway to see stones glowing, and one giant one right in the middle.

“This is the world you are bound to protect, Lady Scarlett. Welcome to New Jersey Heartstone Trollmarket!” Blinky smiles.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Burned Part 15

Summary:  Alfie Solomons is in need of a secretary. Tommy Shelby mentions a young woman in need of employment. From there the two step into a dangerous dance together.

Part 15: Serious discussions are had. 

         Alfie had some experience with caring for children. He helped his mother as best he could with his younger brother. But he was a bad influence on Adam and it showed early on. His mother urged her youngest to pursue a more respectable life so she didn't have two sons stuck in a cycle of crime. Perle encouraged Adam to focus on education and was extremely proud when he joined the military. Alfie didn’t do anything to pressure his brother into the life he led. If anything, he agreed with his mother and steered Adam away from a life of crime. The last thing he wanted was to have his baby brother’s blood on his hands. His mother would never forgive him.

           Adam Solomons was a family man. He loved his wife and son. He also loved his country and proudly marched off to war. His body was never recovered from Gallipoli. Alfie promised to look after Rose but she was distrustful of the gangster who was making his way through the ranks of the underworld. When he returned from the war, he had no family left aside from his nephew and sister-in-law. Rose, overwhelmed with grief and her reckless seventeen-year-old, took off. Goliath was dropped off on Alfie without any notice.

           He didn’t raise the boy though and couldn't teach him anything of much use. He was already too set in his ways.

           Alfie had been around Ollie’s children before. They all pounced on him the second he walked through the door screeching about lord knows what. They called him Uncle Fie and the oldest boy said he wanted to be a boxer, always trying to get Alfie to fight him. Aside from a tousle of the hair and the occasional piggyback ride, he was uneasy around them. Children were so fragile and vulnerable. He was accustomed to men who could survive a severe beating and get right back to it. Ollie’s wife would smack him if Alfie so much as uttered one swear around the kids. But Alfie saw the pride on his assistant’s face when his children were around. Ollie lived for them and he spoke so fondly about them. It made him wonder what it was like to be a father, lighting up at every mention of his pride and joy. To boast about their achievements and how they made him smile. To see Louise pregnant and thrilled to be a mother. It was tempting.

           Inglewood needed work before they could have any function, especially their wedding. But Louise was thrilled to take on the project. She talked endlessly about the memories she had in each room. How she bruised her knee sliding down the banister, the first pony her father bought her, the stories her mother would tell her at night, and the chocolate cake made for her birthday each year. She wanted to bring those memories back to life as best she could by reviving Inglewood. Improvements and cleaning were left to staff that Alfie hired after a strict vetting process. But Louise wanted to be involved because she felt protective over her home.

           Alfie had never seen her so interested in anything. She paid attention to the restoration process and even began gardening once the overgrown yard was cleared. He could fondly remember one of the early days they were there. Louise had gone out into the warm sunshine, clad in pants and one of his old shirts. She wasn’t afraid to get dirty in the soil and eagerly showed Alfie what she’d planted by the end of the day.

           She was happy and that made him as happy as could be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           One week, Alfie returned back to Inglewood from Camden Town. Louise had stayed, working from the office that had just been redone and furnished along with a portrait of her father proudly hanging by his original desk.

           Alfie stepped out of the car and noticed a few kids bicycling down the driveway. There were three of them, a boy around fourteen, a girl about nine, and another boy that couldn’t be more than seven. They were dressed well, albeit most likely their play clothes, and he could guess they were from around the area.

           When they saw Alfie, they screeched to a halt.

           “Sorry, sir.” The oldest apologized. “This home’s usually empty so we ride up the drive and back.” He explained. The boy was the complete opposite of how Alfie was at the same age. Clean-cut, well mannered, and cautious.

           “S’alright.” Alfie didn’t see the harm with the kids riding their bikes up the way.

           “Are you moving in here?” The girl asked. Her blonde hair in a short bob with a silver clip parting her bangs to the side. “We live down that way.” She pointed past the front lawn of Inglewood where a foot-high stonewall divided the land.

           “Erm, yes, just doing a few renovations.” He nodded and felt out of his comfort zone. He had enough sense not to act the part of the big scary gangster boss in front of children. So that just left him as plain old Alfie.

           As if hearing his silent pleas for help, Louise stepped outside. “Alfie?” She had heard the car pull up and expected him to rush inside to embrace her. “Oh, hello.” She smiled when she saw the children.

           “Do you have any kids our age?” The youngest boy asked hopefully. “I’m seven ‘n a half.” He beamed proudly.

           “I’m afraid we don’t have any children, darling. We’ve only just got married.” It was a lie simply to throw a veil over the situation. Despite the distance between neighbors, word traveled fast in upscale country settings. None of the fashionable ladies of the manors would want to hear that Louise and Alfie weren’t married but still living together. It was the 1920’s but some people were still stuck in the past.

           The little boy pouted. “That’s okay.” Even though he was disappointed, he managed to keep the politeness instilled in them by their nanny.

           The eldest leaned forward, resting his forearms on the handlebars of his bike. “Mum will want to have you ‘round for tea.” He told Louise.

           “That would be lovely. Alfie and I will come and visit once we’re all settled.”

           Alfie furrowed his brow. Afternoon tea in Surrey was not on his to-do list. He cleared his throat and nodded. Whatever Louise wanted and whatever would make her happiest. “Yeah, we’ll pop on by soon. And don’t worry ‘bout us, you can ride your bikes wherever. We don’t mind, yeah?” He looked to Louise who was smiling.

           “Of course not.” She agreed.

           “Thank you!” The littlest shouted a bit louder than necessary and rode off. His sister followed, the wheels kicking up bits of gravel as they went.

           The other boy lingered, glancing at Alfie for a moment. “Well, thank you. Have a good day.” He nodded and went to catch up to his siblings.

           “So sweet,” Louise said softly and linked arms with Alfie to walk inside.

           “Yeah, proper posh kids, aren’t they? You like that when you were that age?” He wondered.

           “Well…I suppose.” She shrugged and led him into the office. “Wasn’t much else to do around here besides spending time outside and with friends.”

           He sat down on one of the couches near the unlit fireplace. Louise happily sat beside him, tucking her feet under her. “Were a lot of things to do in Camden growing up.” He chuckled. “Bad things, yeah, but things all the same. Was probably robbing people at his age.”

           Louise wrapped an arm around his shoulders and snuggled close to his side. “I think we might have gotten along. I got bored easily here.”

           “And you would be the beautiful posh girl that I would do anything to win over.” He nearly laughed at how sappy he was being.

           She watched the lines around his eyes wrinkle in happiness. Her fingers grazed over the nape of his neck, dancing along the edge of his hairline. “You wouldn’t have to try very hard.”

           He chuckled and stretched his legs out in front of him. “Well, m’fraid I won’t be a very good socialite.” It meant to come off as humorous but he couldn’t ignore the passing look the neighbor’s son had given him. Alfie knew he didn’t fit into that society and part of him was perfectly okay with that. But the other part was guilty about not giving Louise everything she wanted.

           “Alfie.” She sighed and turned his cheek so he was looking at her. “I don’t want you to change just because we have this home now. Where we are or who we’re around doesn’t matter. I just want you to always be my Alfie. And I never wanted to be a socialite and I sure as hell don’t want to be one now.” She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “All I want is to have a life with you.”

           “Lou…” He rested a hand over hers. His blue eyes shining with adoration and a bit of relief. “I don’t want you to ever change either.” He agreed softly.

           She smiled and touched her forehead to his. “I love you.”

           “I love you too.” He closed his eyes for a moment and let his thumb graze over the sapphire embedded in her ring. “D’you want kids?” He asked before he really thought about what conversation he was possibly opening up.

           Louise drew back in surprise. “I-well I suppose we haven’t talked about it.” She agreed without outright answering him. She wasn’t in the mood to strike up a heated debate over the issue. Especially when they weren’t even married yet.

           “I think we should.”

           The admission came out fast and for a moment, Louise thought she hadn’t heard him right. “Well, I…yes I agree.”

           They let the words sit in the air between them. They were thrilled that they were on the same page but both very worried in their unique way. The decision seemed much larger than anything else in their lives.

           “I just know you’d be a good mum, s’all.” He shrugged sheepishly and looked down at her hand still resting in his. “Like to have kids of me own.”

           “I think you’d be a wonderful father, Alfie.” Louise murmured truthfully. “You might not think so but I know how much love you’re capable of having.”

           “I could protect you both.” He vowed. “Would fucking never let anything harm you. I’ve made mistakes that put you in danger but I-”

           She pressed a finger to his lips. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I know you could take care of us, I trust you. You’ve earned my trust and I know we’ll be able to keep that as we create a life together.” Her voice was breathless with excitement. It was surreal to imagine Inglewood full of life again. Not the hollow, stone building that had been drained of the love it once held. But a child, maybe even more than one, running around the home and playing in the yard. A little boy or girl with Alfie’s beautiful blue eyes. She could easily picture the smile on her fiancée’s face as he picked up a little child that so closely resembled him.

           It nearly brought tears to Louise’s eyes. “I can’t wait for forever with you.” She whispered and took his face in her hands to kiss him.

           Alfie wrapped his arms around her, letting her take his breath away like she had done many times before.

~~~~~~~~~~~

           Alfie stayed the night in Inglewood. Louise fell right to sleep but he was restless. The silence of the countryside was bothering him and his own thoughts were much too loud.

           So, he decided to take a lap around the home just to clear his head. He cursed the draft in the large halls and crossed his arms over his chest. The stairs creaked under him as he made his way downstairs. He passed through the foyer and wove through the parlor, the dining room, the front hall, and to the office.

           The large portrait of Mr. Barnes startled Alfie for a moment as he passed by the doors. He paused and decided to go in.

           Henry Barnes was a younger man when the portrait was painted. He had only just met his wife-to-be, but he was still the son of a wealthy aristocrat. He stood tall and proud like in the foyer portrait with his wife, Lily. His gentle eyes appeared to be looking down right at Alfie.

           The gangster faced the painting and took a deep breath. He felt like a Christian going into confession. “I know that…” He sighed as he realized he was talking out loud to a piece of canvas. Nevertheless, he continued on. “Maybe m’not the best for her. Could be better men out there, right, that she could be with. All I know is I would do anything to keep her safe and happy. Would fucking die for her in a heartbeat if I had to.”

           Henry didn’t move. The placid expression on his face remained just like it had for decades.

           Alfie ran a hand through his hair and nodded absent-mindedly. “Never loved anyone like I love her.” He mumbled. “Fucking hurts me chest when I think ‘bout it sometimes. Yeah, dunno if I’m enough. Or if I’ll ever be.” He swallowed hard and took a few steps back. “Fucking talking to myself.” It was enough to get the words out of his head though, and he felt a bit lighter as he left the office. No matter what insecurities he might have, he knew for damn sure he was going to marry the love of his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           While London was swarming with whispers of Alfie’s marriage, Camden Town had its own take on the matter. Simply put, Alfie was Jewish through and through. He was raised that way and despite his criminal activity, he would stay that way. Louise was not Jewish. Baptized in the Church of England, she had lost most faith in God. As far as Jewish law was concerned, they would not be allowed to wed.

           Ever since he hit puberty, Perle would say Alfie needed to find a nice Jewish woman to marry. He never did, most fathers didn’t want their respectable daughters around the hellish Solomons boy. That didn’t bother him because he wasn’t interested in settling down. As a young man, he was more interested in laying out his empire.

           Now that he had, Alfie only had eyes for one woman. Jewish law wouldn’t’ stop him. He tended to disregard all laws except his own.

           Ollie and Alfie were inspecting areas of the bakery, making sure everything was running smoothly.

           “Ollie, mate, can I ask you something?”

           “Of course, sir.” The curly-haired man nodded. He looked up from his checklist.

           “You said you and Shayna went to temple in Hampstead? What’s the rabbi’s name?”

           Despite years working for him, Ollie was never able to guess what his boss was about to say. But they normally didn’t talk about religion. Alfie celebrated holidays typically with friends of his late mother or Ollie’s family. Camden embraced him because he gave to the Jewish community. Men tipped their hats and greeted him politely. Grandmothers often scolded him, saying he looked thin and promised to bring him heaps of food.

           But they all knew what he did and how it conflicted with their shared beliefs. A busy man, Alfie attended temple when he had the chance. He sat in the back, a silent and domineering figure.

           “Rabbi Mayer?”

           “Right, you know him well?” Alfie continued to be cryptic.

           “I suppose.” Ollie shrugged. “He married Shayna and me.” He reminded his boss who had been present.

           “Thought so.” He scratched at his beard. “You think he’d be willing to overlook a few things?”

           Well, Ollie had been asked stranger things before. “Like what?”

           “Small bits ‘n bobs. Louise’s religion mostly.” He answered casually.

           Rose had told her husband about what the other Camden women were gossiping about. How was Alfie, a Jewish gangster going to marry someone of a different faith? Certainly, no rabbi would conduct the ceremony. So would he neglect Jewish tradition? That was simply unheard of.

           “And what if they have children?” Shayna had asked, throwing her hands up in disbelief. “It’s in his family. His brother did the same thing! He had some legal ceremony and never taught his son properly. Look at Goliath now.”

           Ollie could understand his wife’s opinion. The community struggled to keep their traditions and identity. But he also knew Alfie would do as he wished. Hence, why he was asking for a rabbi who would break the rules.

           “Sir, I’m not sure-”

           “Look, I fucking know.” Alfie cut him off. “Not s’posed to do this but I ain’t going back on what I said. I’m marrying her.” His tone was firm and unyielding.

           “Sir, even if he does marry you, everyone will know.” His assistant pointed out.

           He grimaced. “Fucking gossips.” He grumbled under his breath. “Fuck it. You go to the rabbi, yeah, and let him name his price. If not, I’ll do it me own way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Louise was back in Camden that same night. She was getting dressed for bed when Alfie arrived home. He entered the room with a smile.

           “Love that color on you.” He admired the indigo nightgown she was wearing. It was one of many that Alfie had shipped in from Paris.

           Louise smiled. “You say that no matter what I’m wearing.” She sat at the vanity to carefully undo the pins from her hair.

           “Well, then.” He chuckled and stood behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders. “Maybe that’s ‘cause you’re beautiful in everything.” He murmured. “Also beautiful with nothing on too.” He touched his lips to her neck.

           Louise rested a hand over his. She nuzzled his cheek lovingly. “How was your day?”

           “Fine, nothing to write home ‘bout.” Alfie shrugged. He drew away and sat on the bed to remove his boots. Cyril curled up by his feet begging for a pat. He obliged, scratching behind the bullmastiff’s ears.

           “Evelyn was talking to me about the wedding.” She informed him.

           “Yeah?”

           “Telling me about Jewish traditions.” Louise turned on the vanity seat to face him. “We can’t be married by a rabbi, can we?” Guilt hinted at her features.

           “Well…” Alfie rubbed the back of his neck. “Not too sure yet.” He admitted.

           She played with her engagement ring, circling the band around her finger. “Maybe I could convert, that way we won’t be breaking tradition. I don’t want people looking at you badly because you’re marrying me.”

           Alfie frowned. “Lou, we just discussed this. I ain’t gonna make you change who you are for me.” He held his arms out for her.

           She gladly curled up on his lap. His arms cradling her close and keeping her safe. She rested her cheek on his shoulder.

           “I’m marrying you whether anyone likes it or not, yeah?” He kissed her hair. “Our wedding, our relationships, s’none of anyone else’s fucking business. If you want Jewish traditions then we’ll do them. Don’t fucking care if a rabbi’s there or not. Only care that you are.”

           Louise frowned and chewed on her lower lip. “But your family…” Alfie came from hardship. Most of his family had been killed because of their religion. Perle had fought against all odds to deliver her sons to safety and provide for them. She raised them in a Jewish community to keep the culture alive even if they weren’t in their homeland.

           “Lou, me mum only wanted me to be happy.” He assured her softly. “She probably would give me hell for it but at the end of the day, yeah, you make me smile. Not a lot of people can do that.”

           She gently touched the corner of his mouth. “I want you to be happy.” Her eyes locked on his. “Whatever makes you happiest.”

           Alfie could appreciate where he’d come from. He couldn’t neglect his past and what it took for him to get to the place he was. But of all the ways he had sinned, he decided that marrying Louise would be the least damning. “You make me the happiest.” He murmured and traced his thumb over her cheek. Her skin was warm, a faint blush forming under his touch. He briefly thought back to his monologue in front of her father’s portrait. “D’you ever get that feeling when your chest, right, when you love someone? S’like…” He scrunched up his nose in thought.

           “It’s some sort of ache?” She suggested because she knew exactly what he was talking about. Her hand pressed to his chest, right above his heart. “It hurts because you had no idea you had the capacity to love someone so much.”

           He nodded and let out a small laugh of fright. “Fucking afraid m’gonna wake up tomorrow and you’ll just be a dream.”

           “One day you’re going to wake up in Inglewood, next to your wife.” She lovingly rubbed circles over his shoulders and the back of his neck where he held all his stress. His tense muscles started to relax after a bit of coaxing. “Your son or daughter will run into the room to wake you up and beg for you to come and play with them.”

           He closed his eyes for a moment to picture the scene she was painting for him. “Sounds too good to be true.”

           “It isn’t. Because you deserve peace and happiness, Alfie Solomons.”

           He opened his eyes to find her looking earnestly at him. He tilted his head to the side and grumbled in protest. But he couldn’t argue with her. She held firm to her beliefs. “And that’s why no one can say anything ‘bout us getting married. ‘Cause you’re fucking perfect, ain’t ya? I’m going to marry you and our wedding, yeah, we’re doing it our way.”

           She cuddled close to him. “Don’t tempt me with a good time, Captain Solomons.” She teased softly and tucked into the crook of his neck.

           He chuckled and rested back into the pillows. “Go to sleep, love, we’ve got lots to do tomorrow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Evelyn was thrilled. Life seemed to be going so well for her and everyone she loved. Alfie and Louise were getting married, it was about time, and they had given her a hefty raise to come work at Inglewood every other week. She adored being in the countryside but she could still go back to Camden to see Ishmael. The young man's face always lit up when she came back. He'd tell her how much he missed her and asked when they could see each other again. Things just seemed to be going so well. She was completely oblivious to the threat that Alfie and Louise were well aware of.

         That weekend, Evelyn was accompanying Louise to try on her wedding dress one last time and make sure everything fit. They were only going down the street, but Alfie insisted Ishmael and another young man go with them along with Cyril.

           “We’re not going downtown, we’re going to Nessa’s.” Louise told her fiancee, as he was busy sorting through shipment papers.

           “I know, I put a call into her this morning.” He didn’t look up from his work, his blue eyes peering from behind his glasses at Ollie’s slanted handwriting.

           “So I don’t need Ishmael and Nathan to come with us.” She said and knelt down to clip the leather lead to Cyril’s collar. Of course, she wouldn’t argue against taking him along. The mastiff’s tail wagged wildly, thumping against Alfie’s desk.

           “I’ll just be a block away, Evelyn and I don’t need to be escorted.” She argued and stood up.

           Alfie paused and dropped his papers to the side and opened the top left drawer. He pulled out a telegram and handed it to her without a word.

           Uneasy, Louise took the paper from his hand and unfolded it.

Dear Mr. Solomons,

I hope to hear from you. I will be arriving in London soon. Mr. Shelby and his family have been notified.

Luca Changretta

           She swallowed and absent-mindedly folded the telegram back to its original form. Her hands trembled. “What does he mean by notified?”

           Alfie’s jaw was tight from the worry he was attempting to conceal. He reached for his empty revolver and spun the barrel a few times to keep his hands occupied. At that point, he wanted to get rid of Luca himself just so the man didn’t interfere with his life. The gangster would be damned if that Italian did anything to disrupt his wedding plans. “I contacted Tommy, they’ve all received black hands in the mail.”

           “I’m not sure I know what that means.” Of course, she could guess it was nothing friendly. Cyril sensed her anxiety and pressed against her leg and nosed at her hand. She stroked his ears a few times to try and calm herself.

           “Death threat. Changretta’s marked them as dead, all of them.” He rubbed his eyes and placed his gun down. “Lou, m’not sure what he’ll do to get me involved.” He admitted wearily. The telegram had only arrived that morning but it had already drained him of his energy. “The Shelbys are fucking scattered ‘bout and aren’t speaking to each other like fucking children.” He sighed. “I need to play me cards right.”

           Louise wasn’t sure she liked where his line of thinking was going. “You better not be thinking about helping him.” She whispered.

           He put a hand over his mouth and averted his eyes. A clear sign of deception. “Didn’t say that, did I?” He muttered.

           “You were thinking it.” She accused. “Alfie, just try and stay out of it. You don’t have to team up with the Shelbys but you can’t help to kill them!” Her hand was wrapped tightly around Cyril’s lead as she tried to steer clear of an argument with him. She couldn’t risk getting into a fight a week away from their wedding.

           “Lou, I told you it weren’t that simple.” He stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of her. He slipped the paper out of her hand. “Yeah?”

           Louise pressed her tongue to her cheek and exhaled steadily. “What are you planning to do?” It was the same question she asked months earlier when Luca sent the first telegram. But things had advanced even though Alfie had been static.

           “Wait.” He replied. “My focus is on our wedding. Changretta ain’t here yet so there’s no need to fret. The Shelbys will get their act together once they realize what they’re fucking up against. Whatever comes our way, yeah, we’ll handle it.” He lifted her chin gently.

           “I’m worried that your judgment may be clouded if Luca threatens us.” She admitted.

           A stormy look dashed across his eyes. “Sabini would be wise to inform them of the consequences.” His voice was low with anger. Even the thought of Luca going after Louise made his blood boil.

           She sighed and touched his cheek to distract him from his obvious displeasure. “I may be naïve to a situation like this. But I urge you to talk to me about it so you don’t make any unnecessary sacrifices.”

           Alfie had a feeling that she didn’t know how much he’d be willing to sacrifice if he was forced between a rock and a hard place. “There’s a Yiddish saying, right, ‘for a little love, you pay all your life’. I can leave this be.” He gestured to the telegram still in his hand. “You’ll go back to Inglewood tonight and get ready for the wedding.”

           Indeed they had spoken about traditions and which ones Alfie wished to respect. When Louise got word of her fiancee trying to bribe Rabbi Mayer, she had to step in and stop him from extorting a man of God. After the weekend, Louise would leave Alfie behind in Camden Town and they would be apart for a week for Kabbalat Panim. Now that she knew about Luca’s message, she was hesitant to leave just in case Alfie decided to make a move without telling her.

           “And what will you do?” She inquired.

           “Nothing.” He tossed the telegram onto his desk. “Just keep listening for news and stay neutral. Focus is on you, love.” He promised softly. “We’ll get married and be off to Paris ‘fore you know it.”

           “What about the Shelbys?”

           “Not much I can do, can I? Fucking got themselves in this mess.” He shrugged. “Tommy clearly has a plan, don’t he?”

           She nodded slowly. There was a knock on the door and Evelyn’s voice piped up from the other side. “Louise, are you almost ready?”

           “I’ll see you tonight ‘fore you leave.” Alfie kissed her forehead. “Try not to worry too much ‘bout all this. Nothing will happen until I decide what to do.” Of course, he couldn’t promise that. He had no control over what Luca did once he crossed the Pond. He could show up at the bakery door the same day he arrived with a proposition for Alfie. And he sure as hell didn’t have any clue what Tommy was planning. To say Alfie wasn’t worried about his wedding day being ruined would be a lie. He was desperate to make Louise happy and if his dealings interfered with that, he would be upset with the perpetrators, of course, but he’d also be upset with himself. She deserved a quiet life in Surrey with her husband. But with the danger looming, Alfie could only hope that they would have an interrupted wedding. After that, he could handle the chaos. He could take care of what he needed to and take care of whoever was in his way. Whether it was Luca Changretta or Tommy Shelby.

Permanent Tag: @sansajonsastark​ @giftofdreams​

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Masterpost

PB Masterlist 

[jeonakookie]

I Wish (7)

Pairing: JungkookxOC

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Zoya and Jungkook had lost touch years ago. When a situation brings them back into each other lives, they try to go back to how things were as best friends once again. But a lot can change in 8 years. People. Feelings.

Masterlist

The next morning, Zoya woke to noise coming from the kitchen. She reached over to her right for her phone and squinted at the screen as it read ‘9:00am’. With a sigh, Zoya flopped back down on the bed hoping to sleep in a little more, so she cocooned herself in the blankets and closed her eyes. Zoya tried to block out the clanking of spoons on bowls, the laughs of her brother and sister, and the chatter of the TV until she jumped out of bed in annoyance. Realising there was no way she was getting back to sleep; her feet slipped into her slippers and made their way into the bathroom.

Zoya got dressed and, wrapping her wet hair in a towel, quietly made her way into the kitchen. She walked by her brother and sister, who were sat in the living room watching the TV with such concentration that they didn’t realise their older sister pass by. “Morning.” She greeted her mother.

“Morning. You’re up early for once.” Sara stated.

“I wake up at 6 am every morning during uni mum. I think I can afford to sleep in for the holidays.” She says, as she grabs a bowl from the cupboard. “What are you doing?” She sits down on the kitchen island across from her mum, who’s eyes were on her laptop. When she doesn’t respond Zoya tries again, “Mum?”

“Oh right, sorry. I’m just browsing places to go in Seoul. We’re going to go sightseeing today, and it’s changed quite a bit, so it’ll be exciting for us as well as Imani.” Sara explains excitedly as Zoya listens as she munches on her cereal.

“Cool, sounds fun.” Zoya comments as she chews.

Sara grimaces, “Zoya! Don’t talk with your mouth fall.” She chastises with a grimace.

“Sorry.” She says sheepishly. “Where we off to first then?”

Sara looks at her daughter in surprise, “You’re coming today?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Zoya asks, confused at her mother’s surprised tone?

“Oh nothing, I just assumed you’d spend time with Jungkook.”

“I‘ve spent time with him the past few days we’ve been here. I’m sure one day without me won’t kill him.” Zoya jokes. In reality, Zoya wanted to delay the inevitability of facing Jungkook just a little while longer. Of course, she wanted to spend time with her family, but the former was the stronger motivation.

“Mhmm.” Sara smiles at Zoya.

“What?” Zoya sighs out, as she turns her back, places the bowl in the sink as she rolls her eyes.

“I don’t know, you two are awfully close these days. Then again, distance does make the heart grow fonder...”

“Okay one, it’s ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ and two, we’re just friends mum. Stop being weird.” Zoya complained.

“Fine” Sara held her hands up in defeat, “I’m just saying.” She sings.

“Well, can you stop saying, please.” Zoya huffs. “I’m going to finish getting ready, I’ll be down in a couple of minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” She says before running up to her room.

Not a minute was wasted due to Sara’s intensive planning for the day: from enjoying the bustling of Hongdae to visiting the scenic tourist spaces, they did all they could until they were exhausted from their eventful day.

“Guess we’ll get to Han River tomorrow. But we did a lot today.” Sara states.

“I’m tired mummy.” Imani mumbles sleepily as she holds onto her mother’s hand and slowly follows along and starts to sway side to side in a sleepy haze. Seeing as they weren’t too far away from their place, Zoya decides to pick her sister up before she fell asleep standing.

Zoya grunted as she picked up her sister, “I haven’t picked you up since you were like 4 and you’ve grown well.” Zoya says slightly straining, as she notices her mistake in thinking her 10-year-old sister weighed like a toddler. As she slowly walks towards the house, it comes into view, but so does a figure that was stood near the entrance. Zoya slowed down in alarm, but her defensive state relaxes when she hears her name fall from the stranger’s mouth in a familiar voice, “Jungkook.” She breathes out and starts walking towards him.

“Jungkook? What are you doing here? Is everything okay dear?” Sara asked in worry.

“Oh yes. Everything is fine,” he says scratching the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his, “I actually came to talk to Zoya about something.”

“Oh okay, that’s fine. Well why don’t you come in.” Sara invites him in, and he notices Zoya struggling with her sleeping sister.

“You want help? I’ll carry her.” Jungkook offers.

Before Zoya could speak, Sara accepted his offer knowing her eldest’s stubborn streak. Jungkook sweeps Imani into his hold from Zoya as if she weighed like a feather and waited for further instructions.

Adam brushed past everyone, “I’m going to bed. You guys are taking too long.” He opened the door making his way to his room, and everyone else followed him into the house.

“Erm, follow me. I’ll show you to her room.” Zoya mumbles quietly and walks ahead to her sister’s room as Jungkook followed closely behind. The silence was filled with loud thoughts of the two, both wondering what their conversation was going to bring. Zoya sighed and went through the doorway to Imani’s room and gestured Jungkook to place her on her bed. Zoya slipped off Imani’s shoes and decided that she wasn’t going to manage to get her into her pyjamas, so she laid her duvet over her sleeping form. Zoya swept her sister’s hair from her face and with one last look, she turned the bedroom light off and followed Jungkook out of the room, softly closing the door behind her.

“I was wondering if we could go talk, maybe by Han River.” Jungkook suggested, looking unsure as if he thought she was going to reject his offer. Zoya looked at him once they made their way outside after ensuring Sara that Zoya will be back later.

“Sure, I’d like that.” Zoya agreed softly and noticed Jungkook’s tense form relax a little and they made their way silently into his car to get to the riverside.

“We didn’t get to visit the riverside today; we were going to go tomorrow morning.” Zoya breaks the silence in the car.

“I’d say the view and atmosphere is best during late night. It’s calming.” Jungkook comments whilst staring straight ahead, focused on driving. Although, Zoya felt it was maybe a bit more than just being fully focused on his driving. Zoya hums at Jungkook’s mention of his preference for the sight at night.

It wasn’t long before the car came to a stop and the both made their way to walk by the river.  Zoya shivered slightly, feeling the cool breeze despite being in a thick jumper and crossed her arms over to reserve some heat. Jungkook didn’t fare any better in much thinner attire and his hand were stuffed in his hoodie’s pockets and donned his black cap and face mask, as there were still a few people enjoying the night-time sight of the river. They walked in silence, neither of them knowing how to start. Zoya decided to bite the bullet, “So…you wanted to talk. I’m guessing about last night.” Her voice coming out soft and calm, unlike the beating of her heart at her blunt statement.

“Yeah.. erm..” Jungkook started awkwardly, slightly startled with Zoya’s calm mention of yesterday. “About that… I think it’s best not to think of that as anything. It was just a weird moment.”

Zoya was taken aback by what he was saying, and it hurt a lot more than she anticipated. “Oh yeah…you’re right.” Zoya said tying to brush of the sting of his words. Zoya felt her fake smile wavering and Jungkook started to look concerned. Jungkook stepped towards Zoya to ask her if she was okay.

“Jungkook?” A girl questioned. Jungkook’s body tensed momentarily and then he noticeably created a big distance between himself and Zoya.

He turned to the voice with a smile, “Jihye, what are you doing here?”

“Oh nothing, I was on my way back to the dorms. I should ask you what you’re doing here?” Jihye says stepping closer.

“I just came out on a walk by myself, just needed some fresh air.” Zoya walks further back from Jungkook. The last thing they both needed is to cause any trouble with Zoya being seen with Jungkook right now.

“Mind if I join you for a bit?” Jihye asks as she stands closer to Jungkook and caresses his arm. “I could keep you company.”

Jungkook nervously laughs and peeks behind himself to where Zoya should have been. Jungkook looked around not seeing her anywhere. Jungkook starts to panic. “Erm sorry Jihye, I should be getting back to be honest, it’s getting late. Get home safe.” He hastily bids farewell to the girl and is off to look for Zoya. He whips his phone out and immediately calls her.

___

Zoya’s sniffling was interrupted when phone vibrates in her pocket and she takes it out to see ‘JK ’. She rolls her eyes and declines the call. Zoya decides to stop walking, assuming she’s far away enough from the pair, and sits on a bench ahead of her. She couldn’t watch Jihye flirt with Jungkook for a moment longer. Especially right after he practically said that the ‘almost kiss’ they had was a ‘weird moment’ that should have never happened. She felt as if her heart was physically in pain and fresh tears fell as she let the hurt and humiliation wash over her. Jeon Jungkook is an idol surrounded by girl like Jihye all the time. Why would he even look twice at Zoya like that. “I’m so stupid.” She whimpered to herself, her face hidden in her hands.

“Now that’s a little harsh.” A voice pipes in, causing Zoya to snap her head up at the uninvited speaker.

“Yoongi…” Zoya hastily wipes her eyes “I didn’t- wha-“ Zoya couldn’t form a proper sentence suddenly, but she took a calming breath to  and asked “What are you doing here?”

Yoongi took a seat beside Zoya and merely shrugged, “I come occasionally just to clear my head. It’s gets a little suffocating, you know?” If he saw her crying, quite obviously, he didn’t mention it.

“I guess? When it keeps piling on until you feel like you can’t breathe from the pressure.” Zoya feels unsure when Yoongi doesn’t reply. Before she realises what she’s doing, Zoya turns to him and suddenly says, “Mindfulness.” Yoongi looks at the girl confused. Zoya laughs, “Sorry, I meant to say you should try mindfulness, as a psychology student I totally recommend it. I use it when everything becomes too much.”

Yoongi hums and nods, as if taking in the advice. “So what? You just become mindful of everything?” Yoongi says, scrutinising the method. “Hardly sounds helpful. Sounds more stressful to me.”

Zoya smiles and shakes her head. “It’s not as stressful as it sounds. Here, try it.” Zoya straightens her posture and closes her eyes and gestures for him to follow suit. When met by silence, she opens her eyes and sees Yoongi’s reluctance to follow her instructions. Zoya tries to persuade him, “Come on. Please? Just at least try it and if you still think it’s stupid then I’ll respect your wrong opinion.” Yoongi raised an amused eyebrow at her the latter part of her speech, but finally conceded by closing his eyes and mirroring Zoya’s pose.

All that could be heard was the quiet chatter off the few people still around, the wind and the flowing of the river. “Allow your body to relax, let your arms rest…” Zoya peaked through one open eye and saw Yoongi visibly relax and she smiled and carried on speaking with a clam, soothing tone. “Listen to the wind...the water…let yourself be present in this moment. Be aware of the breathing. You take a breath in…and releasing it fully. Follow the breath as it goes in and out.” Zoya pauses and hears Yoongi’s calming breathing. “Okay! So that’s kind of the gist of mindfulness.” Zoya claps her hands together. “So how was it?”

Yoongi’s eyes open in alarm at the sudden end to the relaxing moment. Zoya smiles at him knowingly, to which he rolls his eyes at but gives her the satisfaction of being proven right. “Fine, that was…actually helpful and relaxing. I would like it if you told me more about this mindfulness.”

Zoya’s smile widens and eagerly agrees. “Of course. What are friends for? We are friends, right?”

“Yeah, of course we’re friends. You can’t get rid of me that easily anymore, you’re stuck with me now.” Yoongi nudges Zoya playfully and she giggles in return.

___

Jungkook spotted Zoya on a bench and ran towards it only to stop a few feet away when he noticed she had company. Watching them from afar, he felt a jealous pang in his heart. Jungkook decided to call Zoya again and saw her look at her phone and immediately her smile fell. She declined the call and Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He tried again and she sighed before declining again.

In addition to confusion, hurt marred his face. He couldn’t help but think of what Zoya could be talking about to the stranger, but his heart dropped when the man turned towards Zoya to reveal Yoongi. They seemed happy in each other’s company, as they laughed and Yoongi nudged her with a smile of his own to match Zoya’s.

Jungkook’s fist clenched and then unclenched, revealing crescent indents on his palms.

___

“Someone looking for you?” Yoongi says with a cocked eyebrow once Zoya declined another call.

“I don’t feel like being found right now...” Zoya mumbles as she fiddles with her fingers.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.” Yoongi reassured.

“It’s not that. It’s because it’s about someone- “

“It’s about Jungkook.” Yoongi states, cutting Zoya off.  Zoya’s face further confirmed what Yoongi already knew. “It was obvious” he shrugs, “to me at least.” He adds after seeing the panic on her face.

Zoya nervously giggles as she searches for a reply. “If I say something will you tell Jungkook?” She asks. Zoya knows that Yoongi’s loyalty lies with Jungkook as he was friends with Jungkook first and foremost.  This led to her surprise when Yoongi responded with an answer she didn’t anticipate.

“No. Within reason of course.” Yoongi says simply.

Zoya mulled over his answer for a few second and proceeded. “I like him.” Yoongi looks at Zoya as if to say ‘and?’ “I like him like him.” Yoongi remained unfazed. “More than a friend.” Zoya added. Still, Yoongi’s demeanour remained calm and was clear of any look of surprise. Zoya huffed at the lack of response from the man.

Before Zoya could say anything Yoongi spoke up. “Am I supposed to be surprised?” He says with a raised brow.

“I mean…yeah?” Zoya said unsurely, confused by the unforeseen reaction.

“Zoya…” Yoongi laughed and Zoya’s brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance at Yoongi’s actions.

“Look, I wouldn’t have told you if I knew you’d find my feelings for Jungkook humorous.” Zoya felt anger and hurt run through her. She was quick to stand from her seat and walk away, but Yoongi was quick to follow her.

“Wait. Wait Zoya.” Yoongi begged, as he caught up and matched Zoya’s strides. “I didn’t mean it like that. At all.” Zoya’s footsteps only grew quicker, refusing to listen anymore. “Zoya. Listen to me.” Yoongi’s tone had suddenly changed and Zoya faltered, and she doesn’t what it was in his voice that made her stop, but she did. However, she made no move to face the man, but Yoongi took that as green light. He walked in front of her in order to face her. “Look, I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing at the situation.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Zoya glared at him and crossed her arms.

Yoongi sighed but continued to explain. “Zoya, anyone with eyes could tell that the two of you like each other, It seems the only blind ones are the two of you.”

“I don’t think you calling me blind is-” Zoya’s words were cut off as she directed her attention to Jungkook who was suddenly in front of them. He looked, almost as if he was angry.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked bluntly, his question directed at the man in front of Zoya. His voice, expression, and tone were so foreign to see on Jungkook. The happy, cute, silly Jungkook was nowhere to be seen. Instead a stiff, jaw clenched man stood in his place.

“I took a walk to clear my head.” Yoongi replied, seemingly unfazed by Jungkook’s hostile attitude. “What are you doing here?” Yoongi threw Jungkook’s question back at him.

Jungkook eyes flickered to Zoya for a split second before he answered. “I came out for a walk. I was on my way back to the dorms, but then I saw you two.” Jungkook ignored the burning stare of Zoya’s eyes on him, questioning his response. “Does Maya, your girlfriend, know you’re out so late with a girl?” Jungkook emphasised on “girlfriend’ as if to make a point.

Yoongi’s eyes narrowed as stepped towards the boy. “What are you insinuating?”

Jungkook shrugged, not intimidated by the older member “I’m just saying. I wouldn’t be okay in Maya’s shoes.”

Yoongi’s posture went stiff as the younger boy kept speaking. It was then that Zoya realised something: Jungkook knew Yoongi’s buttons and he was purposely pushing every single one. What she couldn’t figure out was why. “My girlfriend is a grown woman who knows I have female friends and Zoya is just that. A friend.” Yoongi steps a little closer to Jungkook and adds “I’d suggest you stop before you really say something you don’t mean.” It was a murmur loud enough for only Jungkook to hear. Yoongi had caught onto exactly what Jungkook was doing. He’d known him since he was a teenager, so Yoongi recognises when Jungkook is jealous.

Jungkook scoffs, ignoring Yoongi’s warning. “Oh, so you’re so close now? I didn’t realise. Fine you can drop her off back to her place then. I’m done with her.” He storms off leaving Zoya and Yoongi speechless.

Yoongi shook his head at Jungkook’s behaviour. Zoya had remained quiet for the entirety of the conversation between to two men and now wished she had said something. Zoya had not done anything to be treated like she was by Jungkook. The more she thought about it the more her anger replaced her sadness.

“Do you mind dropping me off?” Zoya asked, not bothering to hide her emotions. Her voice weak and she blinked rapidly trying to hold back the tears. Despite wanting to be angry at the way she was treated, it didn’t make Jungkook’s behaviour and words towards her hurt any less. Feelings aside, friends don’t treat each other like that, and it only finally hit her that she didn’t know Jungkook. Not this Jungkook. She was blindly clinging on to a memory of her past.

Yoongi decided it was best not to say anything and merely nodded to her request. The sad tone of the silence was deafening on the drive back and before Zoya got out of the car Yoongi spoke. “You know Jungkook only-“

Zoya stopped him before he could say anymore. “You don’t have to make excuses for him Yoongi. He said what he said. It’s fine, I’ll be fine. Goodnight.” She gave him a small smile and wave before heading inside the house.

As Zoya entered her mother popped out from the living room. “Oh, you’re home finally.” She noted.

“Yeah sorry, I didn’t mean to be so late.” Zoya, for the first time since leaving with Jungkook, checked the time: ‘2:00AM’. She’d been gone for nearly 3 hours. “I am really sorry.” Zoya said tiredly, drained from the events of the night.

Sara left the berating for another day, as she noticed her daughter’s mood. “Are you okay sweetie?” Zoya’s mom voice her concerns to which Zoya smiled weakly back.

“I’m fine. Just tired. I think I’m going to head straight to bed now. Goodnight.” Dismissing her mum’s concerns, she left for bed and proceeded to cry herself to sleep.

A/N Wow, look at me uploading again. This is to make up for going AWOL and not updating. Don’t expect me to update twice a week. I am trying to figure out a schedule that I can keep up with, so bare with me. But yeah, this was a packed chapter. Let me know your thoughts, I’d love to hear from you guys :)

-A

Masterlist

[mendesstories]

Homesick

summary: she’s homesick and he cooks to comfort her 

When she was 15,  Adeya Malhotra visited Toronto for the first time with her family. The city’s effortless combination of urban hustle with an enduring love for life fascinated her. 

As she walked along the streets the jingle of the glasses from the pavement cafes echoed with a jingle in her heart. Her eyes stared up in amazement with her spirits soaring, as she watched the CN tower light up the Toronto skyline along with a string of other ambitions in her mind. 

There was an inconsolable longing in her heart to come back here someday but on different terms. On her own terms. She swore to herself then and there she would put in all that it took her to make this city home. 15-year-old Adeya had more faith in her future self than anyone else did. 

Now at 22, after years of having faith and five months since she graduated, she has her degree, her new job, she has Shawn of all people by her side, she has a loving and supportive group of friends that feel like family and she lives in an apartment that she has adorned with her own sense of minimalism that she believed oozed comfort and coziness.

For nearly three years, the thought of finally moving out far away and living on her own motivated her especially when it came to preparing for her business studies exams but then the real world welcomed her. She can’t deny that she did struggle for the first three months after the big move.

To her, it was similar to the first time stepped into an ocean. From afar, the golden sands and waves lapping on the shore seemed blissful and relaxing but once she stepped into the water she realized it was actually cold and it suddenly seemed uninviting. It was uncomfortable, but then, slowly her body adjusted.

Suddenly, she was faced with struggles of finding time to clean between classes, doing her own laundry, making appointments and finding out how expensive food actually is. 

She had to figure out balancing her academics with work and social life. Then, it occurred to her how she may have taken her family for granted. 

Keeping in touch too much made her feel the distance even more. So, she forced herself to draw lines and raise walls. That part came a little more easily than it should’ve, she’d always struggled opening up about her inner battles. Now, she told them even less about her problems, not wanting them to think she became weak the second she got here after wanting to move for years. 

She convinced herself saying there wasn’t much they could do anyway, all the way from India. 

The occasional sadness crept in when she saw little moments and milestones on her sister’s social media and she wished she could be there but for the most part of the past four years, she’d gotten used to the distance. 

Except for today, all day long little things reminded her of home and her family. She tried to push those thoughts away only because she knew if she entertained them, she would only let herself get distracted and feel out of place where she is. 

—

That morning, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror ruffling her hair. She adjusted her blouse as she put on her heels standing slightly taller. 

She smiled picking up her red lipstick remembering how her father would nonchalantly ask her whether she was attending a fashion show every time she put it on when she was younger.

At work, the entire team was gathered outside the room waiting to make their presentation. 

It was only her second major proposal and although she was as prepared as she could be, she couldn’t stop tapping her foot against the hardwood floor. She prayed silently, hoping all the hard work from the past few weeks would lead to something fruitful.

She gave her colleagues a grateful nod and mumbled a quick ‘thanks’ as she grabbed the tea they picked up for her. She almost instinctively scrunched her nose as she sipped it, wishing she could have an enticing cup of her mum’s chai instead. 

The chill Toronto evening air made goosebumps rise on the exposed skin of her arms, as she passed through the Square making her way back to Shawn’s for dinner.

Adeya was enveloped with the sounds of cars and footsteps clicking against the pavement. Despite her line of sight being encompassed with the swarms of people ahead of her, her eye caught the Indian family taking pictures near the 3D Toronto Sign.

Seeing the two children who seemed to be arguing over the camera brought a smile to her face reminding her of bickering with her sister over the stupidest of things. 

She looked ahead walking as her mind trailed off thinking of how she would sit at the dining table for hours, eyes turning red and yawns slowly interrupting, with her father solving math problems. 

How her mother used to fret about her not eating enough on the daily and how her sister jamming out while she was trying to finish her projects would irk her/

Back then, all those things used to make her roll her eyes, press her pencil and sigh exasperatedly but now she wishes she could be transported back to those moments.  

Adeya’s mind blanked for a split second feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiousness. She wished she could ignore the growing heaviness of her heart but it nibbled away at her continuously and she had to acknowledge it.

She misses home. She’s homesick.

—

The minute she walked through the door, Shawn could tell something was off. Her slumped shoulders and the heavy sigh leaving her mouth, both dead giveaways, as she closed the door behind her and walked through the passage. 

“Hey there rockstar,” She joked spotting him leaning against the wall. 

He held his arms out to her and she walked up to him lips curving into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and melted into his embrace.

She buried her face into the crook of his neck while he placed his hand on the small of her back. “Hey darlin’, everything alright?” He asked

She only groaned in response. He released her from their hug and lead them towards the couch. She gently nudged him backwards signalling for him to lay down and then she placed her head on his chest. 

“You want to talk about it?” He suggested not wanting to force her but letting her know she could open up if she wanted. 

“I don’t really know,” she trailed, her fingers twirling around his medallion, “This is where I hoped I’d be someday, but I just miss my family and being home. I mean.. I have you, your family and all our friends here but I just miss them, ya know?” 

His eyes softened listening to her confession understanding himself from first-hand experience how hard it is being away from family but at least when he came home it was to the same city he grew up in. 

He could quickly drive over to see his parents, his sister and to her. He understood it wasn’t that simple in her case. She would have to take a long flight all the way across the world to be able to see her family.

Shawn took her free hand into his, “That’s alright hun, your home will always be your home, and that’s irreplaceable… the same goes for your parents and your sister, your bed and everything else back there, but all of them and all those memories and things will still be there when you go back.”

She hummed in agreement knowing this was only a fleeting feeling, “You know during my first week of college here, I got so stressed and lonely and I was on the phone with mum and I refused to tell her what was actually up. So, decided to just stop for a second make an effort and go have coffee with someone in class and that’s how I met Alexis.”

He chuckled listening to the story of how she met her best friend. He didn’t like seeing her sad, especially in a situation like this when there wasn’t much he could do considering asking her parents and sister to get on a plane and fly over 12,000 kilometres spontaneously was out of question. 

“I was thinking we’d go out for dinner but I think we should stay in and make some dahi bhindi instead,” He proposed hoping that eating favourite her okra dish that her dad used to make would comfort and cheer her up a little.

She propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him, “Oh yeah? That sounds fun but you don’t know how to make it.”

“So, you teach me now and then I’ll remember it for next time.” He said grinning at her.

--

 “Yup, now just put the chillies in,” she instructed, “and give it a good stir.”

She looked up at his face beaming with pride that he managed to cook her favourite meal albeit with her continuous prompts and yelps for him to be careful of oil splattering. 

She moved closer to him reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. 

“I hope you know how amazing you are,” She whispered softly, the tip of her nose gently nudging his and a feeling of gratitude coursed through him at her words.

Shawn cupped her face with his hand, pulling her upwards to press a gentle kiss against her lips.

He pulled away and excitedly declared, “Okay, you go sit and I’ll serve you myself.” 

She watched in admiration as he moved around the kitchen getting their plates ready and pouring some water. 

A feeling of gratitude resonated through her, acknowledging the little things he did for her. For them.

“Voila!” He exclaimed giddily placing the plate with bhindi (okra) and some roti in front of her. She laughed eyes crinkling at his excitement. 

As they sat there eating while he told her about Brain and Connor’s antics at the show in Melbourne, her stomach filled with sense of familiarity but so did her heart with an overwhelming surge. 

Fortunately, this time it wasn’t with anxiousness but instead with love for the man sat beside her. 

It occurred to her that when she was with Shawn, the water didn’t seem as cold anymore. Or at least she was warm now. 

Adeya understood their love is home, in a way, and as long as they had each other they’d make it through life’s inevitable twists and turns. 

[mattkenzie]

Games of the Decade (2010-2019 Edition)

So since 2020 is approaching, I thought I’d make a list of games that I’ve played during my journey, the year is 2010 I was about 23 years old (on the cusp of being 24) and I’ve decided to stop playing World of Warcraft for my own physical and mental health (you see I never thought that this would happen to me being addicted to that game for so many years that I have shunned away from society, I gave up on humanity, I didn’t want to go out and celebrate with my ‘friends’ and Azeroth became my home for the past 6 years and it became an unhealthy obsession that one day I’ve collapsed at home and woke in a hospital.) When the doctors were swarming around my bed asked me “Can I remember what happened to me before I collapsed?” the answered but then they bombarded me with more questions... I wanted to scream “STOP!”, until one doctor (a psychiatrist) overheard my story and had an emergency 1-to-1 session with him, he even asked the ‘right questions’ (funny how we can say the wrong answers... but the wrong questions? Made me laugh.) The phychiatrist smiled and said “Welcome back”.

So I’ve decided to quit World of Warcraft and started to readjust to society that my Mum gave me an XBox 360. Now I was overwhelmed by the choices I didn’t know where to start (granted I had the Wii and now an XBox 360) I was really lost in thought until someone actually wanted to talk to me I shall call him ‘Dan’ and we hit it off “Yes, I do look like I am lost you see I am a recovering World of Warcrack addict and I am given an XBox 360, what games do you recommend?” and this is when Dan got out Borderlands, Fallout, Fallout: New Vegas (2010 Honourable Mention) and Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 (2010). You see Dan’s preferred genre is Shoot ‘em ups and I on the other hand tend to enjoy RPGs so I got the best of both worlds.

Mass Effect 2 has this system where if you played and completed Mass Effect you can import your save file, get some additional perks and pick up where you have left off. I seem to like that concept where “Do I need to play the first game to play and understand the story?” to me the answer is “yes” as you gain additional content but it’s the iconic “suicide squad mission”

So we are at 2011 and Minecraft (2011 Honourable Mention) is in it’s infancy and even though I’ve played it later, I enjoyed watching the Yogscast’s “Shadow of Israfel” series and there are times when I occasionally watch a YouTube video looking at other people’s creations (“Man, I need to get myself a copy of Minecraft when I finish my games of the decade.” —Matt. But only 2 games have approached me and they are Xenoblade Chronicles (2011) and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (2011). With the Wii going into retirement and even though Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2011 Honourable Mention) is a popular title in the Wii library... I went down the niche path and picked Xenoblade Chronicles is the perfect swan song for the Wii and one of my all time favourite games that I’ve enjoyed playing. There are many things that Xenoblade Chronicles has offered me and what appealed to me are...

The amazing soundtrack (where it has music for the day and the night cycles)... I tend to use the nighttime music to help me go to sleep.

The unique world building, where Homs, Nopon and (there is this race of angels I can’t remember what they are called) live on these dead gigantic titans Bionis and the Mechonis.

A story that started out Shulk wanting revenge but that revenge eventually turned into understanding.

With Skyrim I ALWAYS seem to find my way coming back to this game as it gives me a ton of replay value that I even create my own D&D characters and put them in Skyrim. Whenever I am stressed with the latest releases I sometimes pop in Skyrim and go on all these adventures and explore and when I had enough I know I can always go to Whiterun and stay in Breezehome. I sometimes go on YouTube to watch my Grandma play Skyrim (OK she is not biologically my Grandma but she adopted/treated us like her grandkids).

During this 4 year skip all the way to 2014 and I’ve developed an awesome relationship with Dan for 5 years and I moved out of my parents house in 2011 (I was suffocating in my parents house (my sister was hit by clinical depression and my brother got kicked out of his flat by his knife weilding maniac of a wife) I am an adult and I NEED my own space so what did I get for a housewarming gift? Borderlands 2 (2014) I still have the loot box. But my independence was short lived by my roommate who I shall call William and he was so toxic to me and my friends who come round to visit, there was an incident when I left the house he goes into my room and steals my belongings (I know had to lock my bedroom door) It was Thanksgiving when I was in need of rescuing and William was becoming domestic abusive towards me and Dan’s Dad Scott who was visiting from the States felt a disturbance in the force... he felt that I was in danger and he was right. I had to move into a new flat (I was happy to live on my own) Dan saw it, my parents saw it and even my support workers saw how crappy/unhappy I was. When I moved into my new flat, Dan gave me a parting gift Shovel Knight (2014)

Now 2015 I have picked up the pieces that I’ve lost and rediscovered my sense of self after how much William warped mine for a few years and I’ve finally move on from it. With Dan moving back to the States and I picked up a copy of The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt (2015) on a later date (I personally never thought it be be ported onto the Switch) I developed the concept that humans can be monsters (even in politics) and monsters can have a shred of humanity.

With 2017 was was hoping for Persona 5 to be released on Valentines Day but it was rescheduled and for me who has 8th Grader Syndrome (I know when to keep my Chunnibyou dormant and when to let my hair down and embrace it when the time is right) I enjoyed the story of how us millennials and Gen Z get to be viewed as degenerates. With the Wii U going into retirement I got the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and although not entirely my favourite Zelda title... I am a person who loves to have direction/structure and more importantly story (and not just charge into Hyrule Castle and fight Calamity Ganon) to have that amount of freedom and I can easily get distracted “Oooh let’s have a look over there!” I regret not giving Super Mario Odyssey (Honourable Mention) a chance nor gave it a fair shake, I bought the Switch because both of the joy-cons are uniform (I was leaning towards getting the grey but red spoke out to me the loudest).

2018 Super Smash Bros Ultimate need I need to say more? OK, I enjoyed the opening song Lifelight... Everyone is here (to have Roy from Fire Emblem) I even loved seeing the DLC fighters not being exclusive to Nintendo (Atlus) Joker from Persona 5, (Rare) Banjo Kazooie, (Square) ‘Hero’ from the Dragon Quest series, (SNK) Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury... although I wanted the Garou: Mark of the Wolves costume added into the equation.

2019 was the year that hit me hard the most Fire Emblem: Three Houses reminded me that I need to cherish the friends I have, I grew up with them since school and college but we all went on our separate paths. Some are married, some started have a family, some have jobs and some have moved to a different country. When I dumped my old friends that I grew up with since my childhood (but felt left out all the time) for new ones that I known for a decade as adults (and had a lot in common and felt that I was included.) So when Dan died in 2019... I felt a huge piece of me was ripped away from me... the man who exposed me to console gaming... I am never going to see him again.

[noel-byers]

What monsters do you fight? || chapter O2

Chapter O1 • Chapter O2 • Chapter O3

Words: 1650

N/A: the girl in the gif with Noel is Melissa

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If there was a place where surely a girl was hiding to cry she was definitely under the terraces of the garden, where they usually played rugby matches. In fact, she was under the seat, with her knees on her chest and her shoulders clutching her bent head. I could hear his sobs and his breath trying to stifle his noisy cry. I slowly approached her and seeing that she still hadn't noticed my presence, I coughed putting both hands in my pockets. Melissa looked up and only then could I see her swollen and red eyes. That piece of shit had reduced it to a rag with a few but sharp words. "Cigarette?" I asked, taking the named item out of a pocket of my jeans.

"I...I don't smoke" she said, sniffling. Ah man that sucks the mucus.

"Better this way" I replied with a shrug. "You will ruin only your breath and your lungs. Smoke isn’t cool kid, unless you want to destroy yourself. Which is really cool” I said with a little irony as I tried to light my beloved cigarette.

A few moments passed in silence until Melissa said lightly to me "Did you see it all?"

"Yep" I replied immediately taking out a cloud of smoke from my lips "You don't have to fear anything, you won't lack respect next time" I said capturing the blonde's attention "It's an insult to the male gender to take it out on a woman when it's ten against one” I continued shaking my head.

"But he had all the reasons in the world, in short, look at me...I'm like all the girls...I thought to impress the bad boy of the school and take his best part out of him...but I just deluded myself" the girl explained, sniffing again.

"Listen to me, Melissa, first of all take my flannel shirt and blow that nose...my heart is crying to sacrifice my favorite dress but I don't have handkerchiefs, so blow your nose before I change my mind" I said handing her my shirt, which she immediately grabbed looking at me, puzzled but not refusing my order.

"You're really weird, ehm..." he stopped, looking into my eyes and making me realize that I hadn't introduced myself yet. I put the cigarette between my lips again and brought my hand closer to shake her in education.

"Noel, Noel Byers" she raised an eyebrow.

"Melissa Danielsen, as you will already know. Are you the sister of the missing child?"

"I would prefer you to call him Will, I'm sick of people cataloging him as a poor outcast" he said pulling up a heavy sigh "Going back to us, I know how you feel now, you'll surely be wondering what made you sell your virginity to that asshole of Billy Hargrove, and many other things that surely do not positively depict your person" Melissa nodded silently “Stop being so hard on yourself, you are young and in fact we are both young and in this adolescence we make so many mistakes" my cigarette, making her realize that as far as I was an employee I hated being under a stupid habit.

"The truth is that in the coming days people will stare at you, laugh at you and make you jokes of bad taste, and you don't have time to cry, you have to be strong, you have to growl and let the comments slip away that are not worth it to listen. Probably the same girls that Billy uses as a sex toy will tease you, but you don't listen to them, i mean, you know which pulpit the sermon comes from" I explained, sucking up some tobacco.

"Not forgetting that I will no longer have friends on my side..." Melissa commented disconsolately.

"And who the fuck am I? Santa Claus?" I asked slightly strangely "I almost blew the head of Billy Hargrove for you and probably because I'm a bit feminist. But first of all I did it for you” I concluded with a shrug.

"Thank you..." she replied with a small smile.

"And then, as strange as it may seem, I have a couple of friends too, and they certainly think like me" I continued to cheer her up letting an almost maternal smile show on my mouth "But now you raise your blonde ass, let's go to the bathroom to rinse your face, you blow your nose with real handkerchiefs and I'll walk you home, huh?” I suggested standing up with a jerk and pulling Melissa by the arm in a playful way, urging her to follow me and she choked and consented.

"All right, as long as you wash your mouth a little, hell, you smell obscene tobacco"

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By evening he had fallen on Hawkings and tonight we strangely breathed less heavy air in my house. It was probably because Bob had come to visit us. He and my mother had been dating for a couple of months and...God, I never saw my mother so happy. Seeing her joking, hugging and kissing with one who finally didn't mistreat her made me feel at peace with myself. Slowly my family was re-emerging from that dark and distressing oblivion, I felt that if they were still passing by a couple of months surely my family could have been called as such.

"What are your plans for the evening? Will you watch a movie?" I asked as I made my entrance into the kitchen, tying my hair into something not too high, Bob turned around and his camera automatically picked me up.

"You choose the boys the movie is evening. Do you, ma'am, have an appointment?" The man asked playfully, infecting me with his good humor.

"Tempting, but not. My shift starts at 8:20 pm and if I don't leave the house in ten minutes, I'll pay back my salary” I explained with a shrug “The only plus is the free hot dogs" I admitted attracting my mother's attention.

"Noel don't eat too many, do you remember that on Jonathan's birthday last year you had a colic and -"

"MUM! I don't want you to make a short film about my intestinal problems while Bob is back! "I answered, turning my face flushed as I ran away with my tail between my legs in my room, looking for my shoes.

I went through WIll's room and my attention was caught by his sudden raising of his voice.

"Stop treating me like that! Like I'm about to break. So don't you help me, just make me feel weirder" my exasperated younger brother said, it was obvious he was arguing with Jonathan.

It was difficult to take someone's part in these situations, I knew how Will could feel right now, he was scared and had suffered multiple traumas, including that of an apparent death. On the other hand, I also understood Jonathan, because it was also my own position, like that of anyone who wanted to help Will. To console some or give him moral support was like wandering in a minefield, you never knew if you could touch some sore point.

I remembered when I decided to sleep together with Will the night made me feel better, I knew that I could protect him, but now that he's growing up and kindly asked me to let him sleep alone, I realize how much my "safety" thought travels one way. As far as I could have been next to Will, there was nothing I could do to keep him from thinking about his mind, he was a demon that only Will could have fought.

"You're not weird" Jonathan said

"Yes I am, I am" replied our younger brother dryly. I looked at the figure of Jonathan who was about to give up, but then he came out with a sentence:

"You're right, you're weird" both my younger brother and I raised both eyebrows. "So why should you become normal like the others? Being weird is better, I'm weird. Our sister who has been staring at us for half an hour is weird” he said pointing to me.

"Hey nerd go easy" I said in an ironic tone, approaching Will's bed and occasionally pulled an ear to my big brother in a playful way.

"Is that why you have no friends?" Our little brother asked disconsolately.

"We have friends, and weird friends are the best. You don't need to have a hundred to feel cool, a couple is enough, because you know that you will remain faithful forever. And then we are creative, sensitive and original, in short, the best on the market" I explained to Will to encourage him, infuse he also had it, but it was obvious that in those dark moments the positives were difficult to see them.

"Then why are you always with me?"

"Because you are our best friend!" Jonathan immediately replied "And we prefer to be friends of Zombie Boy than of a trivial nullity. Do you understand me? In short, who would you like to be friends with? About Bowie or Rogers?" At that point Will almost shivered and shook his head with an amused smile.

"What Jonny wants to say is that normal people never do anything important in life, as Kierkegaard says, they are locked in their 4x4 box with a family and a job, thus continuing until the end of their days..."

"Oh my God the nerd has come, Will stuck your ears!" Jonathan said jokingly, pushing Will away, who had begun to show signs of little laughter.

"Come on idiots, it's important! In summary, it is always the people outside the lines who make the revolution and enjoy their lives properly" I explained hiding a laugh and pulling a small snort.

"What about Kenny Rogers?" Will asked ironically.

"Kenny Rogers? Oh I love Kenny Rogers!” Bob said suddenly, coming out of the corridor and suddenly I remembered that I was being late for work.

"Fuck! I love you guys, please, be good" I said, running off down the corridor.

"NOEL YOU ARE LEAVING WITHOUT SHOES" my mother shouted.

"Fuck the shoes!" I yelled back, turning back.

T O   B E   C O N T I N U E D . . .

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N/A: Hello everyone! This is a passing chapter, but it also seems right to give some space to noel and her character before making her interact with Billy. Thank you all for your support, you make me really happy. If you want to be tagged in the next chapter, please leave a comment and tell me what you think of the story, if you like 🌸🌺

Tag list:

@xxemoluverxx @sledgy14 @ellenna 

[captains-simp]

Yelena Belova + Fake dating Au!! pls 🥲 :)

I've been waiting for someone to pick the fake dating one *fist pumps air* I'm gonna combine this with your other request if that's okay

"I think I'm inlove with you."

Warnings: shitty family and homophobia

7.7k words

A/n: if y'all want me to do this oneshot again but with Wanda (cos I'm a lazy hoe) just lemme know 👀 I think it would work pretty well 👀

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Pleeaasse, Lena." You pouted once again. You had been begging Yelena for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.

"I'm busy." Yelena said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.

"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.

"I thought you said it was a few days." Yelena quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.

"It is." You confirmed with some hope.

"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.

"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.

"Please, Lena." You tried. "I need a win." Yelena stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.

"I'll think about it." Yelena finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard.

It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.

Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.

As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with.

You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.

Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Yelena.

Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.

However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Yelena girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Yelena. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.

"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Yelena wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).

You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Yelena agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Wanda or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Yelena and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Yelena.

"Tomorrow." Yelena answered, keeping her focused tone.

"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance Yelena gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.

"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.

"Be safe." Yelena strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

¤

"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.

"No." Yelena replied as she slotted a spare gun into her leg harness.

"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Yelena would still say no.

"No." Yelena said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."

Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Yelena rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casually so it was never anything fancy or different that needed planning. She had always wanted to though.

"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.

"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Yelena was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.

"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.

"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Yelena clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."

Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.

"Yeah." Yelena sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Yelena had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.

"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Yelena's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."

"You think I should do it?" Yelena asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend's advice in that area.

"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Yelena's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.

¤

You had been overjoyed when Yelena told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment.

It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.

On the drive up to the cabin you and Yelena stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Yelena's acknowledging smiles.

"So what's the plan?" Yelena asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the spy wanted a strategy.

"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Yelena didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."

"Impress me?" Yelena asked.

"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Yelena chuckled as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.

"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Yelena clearly hadn't though.

"It will be an honour to turn them down." Yelena said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.

When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Yelena a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.

"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Yelena more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Yelena. "You must be Yelena, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought Yelena in for a hug too.

The blonde raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh. The others came over to greet you and mainly Yelena in a rush, overwhelming both of you.

"You too will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.

"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.

You and Yelena made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.

"That was...a lot." Yelena summarised as she said her bag under the bed.

"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.

"It's just a few days." Yelena said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.

"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Yelena's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.

Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.

"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.

"I do." Yelena said as she continued to hold onto your hand.

"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.

"They're good." Yelena said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Yelena pretended not to notice making you smile.

"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Yelena exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.

"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."

Bull. Shit.

"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Yelena an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.

They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Yelena and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the blonde weren't all that bad.

Your family continued to catch up and and you and Yelena half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.

Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Yelena had stopped four potentially devastating bombs going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.

"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.

"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.

"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Yelena with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.

"The team loves it." Yelena said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Yelena wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.

No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.

"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.

"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Yelena cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.

"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.

"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.

It was certainly a first for your family.

When everyone had finished their food you and Yelena excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Yelena shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The blonde shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.

When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.

"You should go get changed." Yelena said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.

You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.

You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Yelena.

You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies. About ten minutes into the movie Yelena spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.

"Yeah." You whispered back.

"Promise?" She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Yelena clearly.

"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.

"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Yelena wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.

You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.

*

Yelena wasn't much of an intimate person. She made the odd exception with you and Natasha, but always seemed to refrain or hold herself back from being too close to you. So when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Yelena's ended, you were surprised to say the least.

You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.

You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Yelena woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.

You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.

"Morning." Yelena croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.

"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.

You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Yelena was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Yelena noticed you.

"Don't make a sound." Yelena warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.

You and Yelena had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.

The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.

You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Yelena joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.

The blonde was the most competitive person you had ever met, you learnt that over a simple game of snakes and ladders years ago.

"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.

"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.

"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Yelena hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.

You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Yelena was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Yelena who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.

The moment you missed the ball a smug grin started on Yelena's face, her arrogance stopped her being aware of you suddenly sending the ball back her way until it was too late.

"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.

"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again. Yelena rolled her eyes and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.

You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.

At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.

"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.

"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Yelena refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.

You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Yelena's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.

"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.

"Maybe we should take it back with us." Yelena whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should. Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis.

You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.

"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.

The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Yelena sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whoever one of them was nearby.

Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too. You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Yelena that the blonde never failed to notice.

The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Yelena picked out a horror movie instantly making you groan into her shoulder as she giggled.

She settled down beside you and within the first few jumpscares she slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further. You were barely paying attention to the film after that.

Despite the chilling scenes of the film, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Yelena's arms.

Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Yelena had ever experienced.

*

You had thought waking up in Yelena's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the blonde was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest. It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.

Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.

Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.

*

When you woke up again Yelena was gone. Her absence left am emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Yelena was going to effect you even more when it was over.

Over...you couldn't think about that.

Once you got up and got changed you found Yelena in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, honey." You grinned. Yelena blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.

"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.

You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Yelena about an upcoming party that she should go to. Yelena mumbled something about a full schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.

Eventually, you and Yelena became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the blonde and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.

You made a point of holding Yelena's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.

"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.

You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted. The blonde brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.

"It's beautiful here." Yelena said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.

"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.

"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.

"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.

"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Yelena's features.

"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.

"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.

"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."

"We?" Yelena asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.

"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The blonde considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.

"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.

"You want to go back?" Yelena asked and you grinned.

"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Yelena did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.

It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Yelena kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.

Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Yelena before starting towards the edge. The blonde frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.

To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.

"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Yelena's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.

She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.

"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side. Yelena's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.

"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.

"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."

"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.

"Are you scared, Lena." You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.

"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.

"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.

Yelena held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the blonde sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.

You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. With a harness! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below.

You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.

"Fuck." Yelena whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.

"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.

"Yeah yeah." She laughed and adulterer when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.

"They're looking." Yelena muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.

"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Yelena's grey eyes to stop you looking at your family.

"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.

"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.

"I know." Yelena laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.

Yelena's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the blonde's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.

"Can I?" Yelena whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.

You smiled into the kiss and felt Yelena do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together.

You mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Yelena didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.

When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.

"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Yelena chuckle.

"Not too bad yourself." She teased.

"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Yelena nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down.

You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Yelena.

You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.

You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.

You didn't realise Yelena mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.

Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them. You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.

Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Yelena spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.

You and Yelena went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet.

Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Yelena liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.

"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Yelena purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.

"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.

"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.

Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Yelena stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Yelena's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.

"So Yelena," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.Oh boy, you though.

"I don't think it's my place to say." Yelena said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.

"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.

"I could, but I'm not going to." Yelena continued to defy.

"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing a spy.

"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.

"He's married!" Dalton objected.

"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but  Dalton just scoffed.

"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."

"What does that mean?" Yelena asked with narrowed eyes. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.

"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Yelena stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the blonde's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?

Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"

"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.

"Then you're idiots." Yelena stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"

"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.

You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the blonde was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.

She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.

Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Yelena said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?

When you stopped crying you became aware of Yelena gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.

"I think we should go tomorrow." Yelena mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."

"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.

"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the blonde to look at her clearly.

"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffer and she smiled at you fondly.

"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.

"It was all an act though." You whispered and Yelena chuckled as she exhaled sharply.

"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.

"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.

"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Yelena's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.

You closed the gap between you and kissed Yelena with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her. When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.

"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."

"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.

"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.

"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.

"Yeah." You said back.

"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.

"Your girlfriend would love to."

[our-smooty]

Flowerbeds and Fertile Soil: Chapter 1

Fandom: Good Omens

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, )Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer

Tags:  Kidfic, Mpreg kind of, they can choose to present however so idk, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Vulva (Good Omens), OCs galor, parenting, using your snake form to avoid confrontation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnancy, if I missed a tag lemme know

Summary: They could do anything, go anywhere, all without the worry of Above or Bellow making a fuss. Even so, they mostly kept to their little patch of Eden, their cottage and garden and the simple life they’d carved out among the locals. Aziraphale opened a book shop in town, where he only occasionally sold any books (and the ones he did sell, were all modern and stocked specifically for that purpose). Crowley focused his attentions on the garden, and if he occasionally helped their elderly neighbour with her disobedient willow tree, then that was a secret no one needed to know. 

Lately, however, they had both been feeling rather restless, unbeknownst to each other. Aziraphale tried reorganizing his store, changing the way he tied his bowtie and even ate pizza --something he considered to be far too messy for him personally. Crowley had branched out into birdwatching, and then car maintenance (the human way), and even reading. Nothing scratched the itch for either of them. 

Ao3 Link

My Ko-Fi

Ten years. A cottage. The South Downs. Innumerable soft mornings in bed and long, exciting nights. Wine under their own apple tree, carefully cultivated to provide optimal shade during summer afternoons. Ten years of the rest of their lives. For Aziraphale and Crowley the time after the End that Wasn’t was nothing short of blissful perfection.

They could do anything, go anywhere, all without the worry of Above or Bellow making a fuss. Even so, they mostly kept to their little patch of Eden, their cottage and garden and the simple life they’d carved out among the locals. Aziraphale opened a book shop in town, where he only occasionally sold any books (and the ones he did sell, were all modern and stocked specifically for that purpose). Crowley focused his attentions on the garden, and if he occasionally helped their elderly neighbour with her disobedient willow tree, then that was a secret no one needed to know.

Lately, however, they had both been feeling rather restless, unbeknownst to each other. Aziraphale tried reorganizing his store, changing the way he tied his bowtie and even ate pizza--something he considered to be far too messy for him personally. Crowley had branched out into birdwatching, and then car maintenance (the human way), and even reading. Nothing scratched the itch for either of them.

It wasn’t until they visited Tadfield, for Anathema’s baby shower, that it occurred to either of them. They’d been to the others, of course, both ethereal entities were prominently featured in the other two Device-Pulcifer children. Little Charlotte and Annabella looked forward to seeing their uncles for monthly gatherings. And the third child, yet to be named, was likely to feel the same about the two.

“It’s only 2 more months now,” Anathema said, lounging in a comfortable chair in her and Newt’s back garden. She was surrounded by friends and family, including the Them, Shadwell and Madame Tracy, and Crowley. Aziraphale was over by the pot-luck table, making him and the demon plates of food. Crowley nodded along to the conversation, not participating much himself.

“You must be ready for it to be over,” Madame Tracy said sympathetically, filling up the witch’s glass with more. Anathema nodded enthusiastically--after 2 kids you stop pretending to love every moment of pregnancy.

“Definitely. They’ve been kicking me in the spine for ages!”

“Have you tried telling them off?” Crowley asked casually, sipping his own drink (lemonade spiked with a little something from his flask. “Can never start too early with that kind of thing you know.”

Anathema looked surprised, though not significantly, which was in opposition to Newt's shocked expression. Madame Tracy rolled her eyes and tutted disapprovingly.

“Weren’t you a Nanny?” Pepper asked, eyeing Crowley suspiciously. “Good Nannies don’t go around shouting at babies.”

“No one said anything about shouting,” Crowley drawled, sitting up a little straighter. “It’s all about balance. Set some boundaries, let them know they can’t get away with anything too mischievous.”

“I thought mischief was your thing?” Adam asked. Crowley made a kind of a wiggle motion with his palm and wrinkled his nose.

“Trust me, kid. There’s mischief and then there’s a 4-year-old who doesn’t know the meaning of ‘no’.”

“Oh are we talking about our mutual ward?” Aziraphale chimed in cheerfully, setting down the plates he’d made up. Crowley murmured his thanks and reached for a strawberry. “We did our best but he turned out quite beastly in the end.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “You’re making it sound like he’s a murderer. He turned OK, better than his father at least.”

“You do have a point there.” The rest of the party-goers at the table all had variously dubious looks on their faces as if they were all thinking ‘who allowed these two to raise a child?’.

“Have you two raised many children together then?” Madame Tracy asked pleasantly. Crowley and Aziraphale both shook their heads a little sadly. “Oh whyever not? You both seem to love kids.”

“Well, it isn’t the done thing you know. An angel and a demon?” Aziraphale answered glumly. Next to him, Crowley shifted in his seat. “Warlock was the exception because both Heaven and Hell thought he was the antichrist.”

“But you don’t work for them anymore!” Adam pointed out, tucking his hands under his thighs and rocking excitedly. “You could do whatever you want!”

Something like dawning realization began to grow on both men’s faces. They could, in fact, do whatever they pleased without worrying about the repercussions from their former head offices. Though the idea of a child might be pushing it.

“You know I never really thought about it like that, thank you, dear boy,” Aziraphale, always better with words in the heat of the moment, said. Crowley sat wordlessly, gaping like a fish out of water. From the far side of the table, Anathema whispered something in Newt’s ear and they both chuckled.

“Yes, well,” Crowley blustered, suddenly standing. “More lemonade?” No one answered but he stalked off anyway. No one mentioned the fact that he was going to the exact opposite way of the refreshment table either.

Aziraphale watched him go with a bemused expression, though he didn’t seem worried. Instead, he turned back to Anathema and began asking her about baby names. The Them quickly got bored with the baby talk and wandered towards the empty bit at the back of the yard to play football. Madame Tracy and Shadwell were off in their own little world, looking at each other with disgustingly moony eyes. Crowley nearly gagged just from being in proximity to such mushy behaviour. As it was he was currently taking refuge back behind the hedgerow, growling at Newt’s freshly planted petunias.

After they were sufficiently chastized and looking marvellous, Crowley decided he had calmed down enough to actually brave the drinks table. There was an entire pitcher of lemonade left, still damp with condensation from the refrigerator, and it was practically calling to him. He made himself a cup and stealthily spiked it. He was just about to take a sip when he felt small hands tugging at the edge of his jacket.

“Uncle Crowley,” a tiny voice said, “can I have a sip?”

Crowley looked down, already knowing exactly what he would see. Little Lottie, with her dark brown eyes and mane of untameable brown hair stared back at him, then eyed his drink. Behind her, Bella peered up at him, always the shy one.

“Eh, not this one. I’ll make you both your own special ones, how does that sound?” With a quick miracle, he procured two plastic cups with curly straws, dangling them in front of the girls. Bella's eyes lit up but Lottie held strong.

“No ice cubes!” she declared, stamping her foot. Crowley hid his proud smile behind a small cough.

“No, no ice cubes. Just pure, sugar water for you and your sister,” he said, filling both glasses up and handing them over, but not before using a demonic miracle to replace the sugar with a healthier alternative. He crouched down to their level to whisper, “Have you two been behaving for your mum and dad?”

Bella nodded, too busy drinking and splashing lemonade all over herself. Lottie lifted her chin proudly.

“Sometimes! Jus’ like you and Uncle Aziraphale said!” She’s only recently gotten the hand of the angel’s fully name, and took every opportunity to show off. Annabella was still getting the hang of it.

“Uncle Azi says to always be nice to the other girls at school, even if they say mean things!” she exclaimed loudly, a sticky smile lighting up her face. At least her hair was short enough that it was mostly saved. Crowley didn’t want Anathema to truly despise him.

“And?”

“And you said to put gum in their hair when the teacher isn’t looking!”

“Good girl. Now go sit at the table with your lemonade. And don’t let your mom see you with it!” He added that last bit just to see the devious look on Lottie’s face as she and her sister scampered off. Somebody, he loved those kids, even if they were half Newton. He liked most children, actually, though those two little girls had definitely run off with his cold, dead heart.

“There you are, Crowley!” Crowley tried to hide his slight jump of surprise with a cough. Even though he knew that Azirapahel knew that neither of them had ever needed to cough in the entire history of the world. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“S’not like I went far angel,” Crowley replied, straightening his knees and then his spine with far too much crackling. “What’d you want?”

Aziraphale was immediately fussing with the demon’s collar and suit jacket, making sure it sat right. “Well, I thought as it’s getting rather late and we have a little bit of a drive ahead of us it might be time for us to toddle.”

“Toddle?” Crowley asked, wrinkling his nose with distaste.

“If you prefer I could say we should get a wiggle o--” Immediately Crowley was stalking past the angel and back to the rest of the party-goers, effectively cutting him off.

“No I do not prefer ‘wiggle on’! Somebodies' sake where do you keep getting these awful sayings from?” He knew the angel was following behind him with a silly grin on his face.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about dear. Are you getting into one of your moods again?” Damn him, the bastard knew exactly how to rile Crowley up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about dear,” Crowley mocked, hunching his shoulders even more. “Let’s just get the goodbyes over with so we can go.”

It took far too long, for Crowley’s tastes, to actually leave. He let Azirapahel do most of the talking and hugging, though he spared a moment to cuddle Lottie and Bella when they started to beg. Their tiny little arms wrapped around his shoulders as he hoisted them up, slinging them side to side just to hear their delighted shrieks. The first few times he’d done this Newt and Anathema had not been pleased, but Aziraphale had reminded them they were both ethereal beings with the ability to change reality, and the parents had decided to allow it after that.

“Goodbye, little ones,” Aziraphale said, giving each of the girls a hug. Crowley knew first-hand how good Aziraphale’s hugs were and made a mental note to get a few of his own when they got home.

“Not little anymore Uncle Aziraphale!” Lottie shouted, taking advantage of her ‘outside voice’. Annabella giggled at the nickname, more than happy to be the angel’s little girl.

“No, no, I suppose not Charlotte. You’re nearly all grown up aren’t you?” he answered with an indulgent smile. The little girl wiggled with delight, and also with the need to be let go so she could go off and get into some sort of mischief. “Go on, have a good day you two.”

Final goodbyes were said and then they were in the Bently, trundling down the road. Crowley had agreed to drive at a more decent pace within the towns and cities sometime after Lottie had been born. The demon claimed he enjoyed driving slowly to annoy the other drivers, but Aziraphale had a suspicion that it had to do with having mortal attachments and realizing the dangers little children could get into near roadways. Outside on the country roads they took to get back to the South Downs he made up for it though, gunning down them with double the enthusiasm. Aziraphale considered this enough of a compromise.

“Lovely party,” the angel remarked loudly over the roar of the Bently’s engine. Crowley nodded but didn’t take his eyes off the road. He was hoping to beat her personal speed record from Tadfield to the cottage. “The girls are growing up so fast!”

Another noncommittal noise as Crowley overtook a car, getting dangerously close to the side door to hiss a little bit. The other driver blanched and decided to pull over at the next rest stop for a bracing cup of coffee.

“You’re quite good with them!” Aziraphale continued on, undeterred by Crowley’s distraction. “If fact, I’d say you have a soft spot for children, my dear. First warlock, then Adam, now the girls.”

That did get Crowley’s attention, though he made sure not to show it. Really he’d always loved children. There had been the kids he snuck onto the arc, just a few, those he could grab and hide from the floodwaters. And others throughout the years, war orphans and kids alone in the world for whatever horrible reason. He gave food to beggars and donates some of his exorbitant--and useless--wealth to orphanages and programs to help children (all spun in some nonsensical way to please Hell, of course). He’d adored being Warlock’s nanny (which is why, even though he is a demon, he couldn’t be the one to pull the trigger on either him or Adam). But caring about kids wasn't cool, wasn’t demon-like, so he’d kept it quiet. Trust Aziraphale to see right through that.

“So?” Keep it short, simple. Let Aziraphale do the talking, he obviously had a point to make, rambling on as he was doing.

“So… I was thinking…”

“Spit it out angel!” Crowley snapped, taking a very sharp left turn into oncoming traffic. Aziraphale knew it wasn’t meant in a nasty way though, he had over six millennia of experience speaking ‘irritable demon’.

“I’ve been thinking, it would be nice to have that,” Aziraphale stuttered out, staring straight ahead at the road.

“Have what?”

“Oh, you know what I mean! Why are you being so difficult, Crowley?”

“I’m not! I don’t understand half the babble that comes out of your mouth angel and you expect me to when I’m dri--”

“Doyouwanttohavechildren?” Aziraphale asked all in one breath, refusing to look over at Crowley. Crowley jerked violently, nearly driving them into the ditch. A quick miracle prevented their untimely discorporations and the Bently rolled to a stop on the side of the road.

“What?” he asked incredulously jaw hanging open.

“Children!” Aziraphale squeaked, his hands flying up and fidgeting with his collar and bowtie. “I-I’ve become very fond of our Goddaughters and I was thinking--”

“And how exactly--” Crowley’s tone was venomous, though he didn’t know exactly why, “do you suggest we procure these children? Forge up some adoption papers for some human baby?”

“Oh Heavens no!” Aziraphale tittered. “Humans, well they have such a short life span. Though I wouldn’t be opposed, if that’s what you wanted to do. I was thinking more along the lines of the old fashioned way?”

“Know many women looking to have little angel babies or hellspawn then Aziraphale?” Crowley mocked. Honestly, he was being a bit of a prick and he knew it. This wasn’t the type of thing you just brought up on a casual Sunday drive home from a casual social arrangement! It was the type of thing you thing to be spoken about after a few good rounds of fucking, in that warm safe afterglow surrounded by your lover. It was supposed to be a big thing right? Humans made it a big thing. And what about the fact that apparently Aziraphale wanted to… with some human woman? Or that Crowley would have to… eugh.

“Of course not! There was quite enough of that with the Nephilim. No, I was hoping, one of us could do it.”

Crowley was nearly bowled over with shock. As it was his white-knuckle grip was nearly bending the steering wheel. For some reason his mind was supplying images of little blond-haired, pudgy baby angels scampering around their cottage, chased by redheaded little devils. The tiny pitter-patter of their feet, then laughter like bells. The look on one of the children from the Arc’s face when he’d had to explain what happened to their parents. A tiny grave outside a workhouse, mourned by only him and no one else.

“Absolutely not.” The world wasn’t a place for children, Crowley knew that for certain. Nevermind the idea of having one of his own to take care of to be responsible for. It’d been different with the others, temporary and always ‘part of the job’. Having one would be different. Scary.

“Oh.” Aziraphale’s voice was tiny and feather-light in the quiet of the idling Bently. It was the same tone of voice he made when all the crepes were gone, but significantly sadder. It made Crowley feel terrible, like he really was worthy of his Fall.

“What brought this on, angel?” he asked, trying to find a way out that didn’t break Aziraphale’s heart more. “You’ve never even mentioned kids before this. Didn’t think you really liked them, Warlock and the girls aside.”

“No, no, I do like them. Not near the books, mind, but they’re nice enough. They have such good imaginations.” Aziraphale spoke like someone trying very, very hard to give off the impression they were fine. He’d moved on to crumpling and straightening his bowtie repeatedly.

“Nice enough you decided to blindside me with this on the drive home?” Should he turn the car off for this? Another glance at his angel, so clearly distressed, then back at his own shaking hand on the keys convinced him. The silence was even more oppressive without the Bently’s purr.

Aziraphale worried his hands harder and Crowley made a mental note to take the angel out to get his weekly manicure a little earlier. “I didn’t think you’d react like this.”

“And how, exactly, did you think I’d act? This world is fucked up Aziraphale, not to mention what Heaven and Hell would do if we made a bunch of half and half sprogs?” How was Aziraphale not seeing how impossible what he was asking was?  

Finally Aziraphale looked over at him. His grey-blue eyes were soft and sad. It made Crowley want to look away, and he briefly did behind his glasses.

“I--I hadn’t thought about what our previous sides might think, to be perfectly honest,” he admitted, sounding a little embarrassed. “I got caught up in--well, it seems I haven’t thought this through. Forget I said anything, my dear.”

There was the out Crowley had been looking for, a good reason to start the Bently back up and continue on their way. Maybe he could spend the rest of the afternoon in his garden, ripping weeds out of the ground with great fervour. Not that his garden had weeds, but the roses had been slacking so they’d make do.

But he could just leave things as they were now, with Aziraphale looking so crushed. “What were you thinking then? Why now?”

A light blush spread over the angel’s cheeks as he glanced away again. “Oh well, I was only talking to Anathema about the girls, and the new little one coming soon and it sounds so… nice. She and Newt have been very happy and I’ve loved watching the girls get older and learn new things. Then I thought of us doing the same with our own little family and, well I guess I got a bit carried away.”

Carried away was right. The happiness that the Device-Pulcifer family had was not for them, couldn’t be for them. It wouldn't be safe or fair to bring children made of both of them into this world. Not when Heaven and Hell would just want them destroyed.

“We can’t, angel,” Crowley said quietly, letting his hands fall into his lap. “Even if we wanted to you know our ex-sides wouldn’t stand for it. They’ve been leaving us alone but you damn-well know they’d come back if there were kids.”

“So, you do want them? W-with me I mean?” Trust Aziraphale to ignore all the practical bit and cling to that. Crowley shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Angel…” he said warningly, a bit of a growl to his voice. Aziraphale kept going.

“Crowley please, I don’t understand why you’re so against this! You love Charlotte and Annabella, I’ve seen it!”

“Of course I love them!” Crowley said, exasperated. “But we can’t have that. Even if we want to, we can’t. It isn’t safe.”

Another ringing silence where Crowley expected Aziraphale to sigh, then ask him to continue driving. Once home the angel would head back to his reading room with a cup of cocoa and not speak to Crowly for a few hours. Later they’d makeup and it’d be over and done with. But it wouldn’t, not really. No something this important was going to be shoved under the rug, they’d learned their lesson from 6000 of pining.

“I think you are being a coward, Crowley,” Aziraphale said quietly but firmly. “I have never known you to fear Heaven of Hell, not even once. This isn’t about them this is about us.”

Crowley seethed, his lips pulled back in a snarl. “You always see the bright side, you’re never realistic! What happens if we do that then, what happens when Heaven and Hell come and there’s nothing we can do to stop them from taking them away and--”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale cried all pretenses at a hard exterior dropped. “My dearest, you have been thinking about this.”

“We both know Heaven is bad, cold and fucking beurocratic. A bad place for kids. And Hell, they’d be better off dead than in Hell angel make no mistake about that. I can’t--” Crowley took a shuddering breath, staring at Aziraphale, hoping to make him see, “I can’t bring them into the world only for them to be poked and prodded and tortured. I can’t be that cruel. I won’t.”

“But we made sure they won’t be coming after us for a long time, maybe never even. Surely the fact that we’ve been together a decade and not hear so much as a peep means we’re off the hook,” Aziraphale argued. It made Crowley’s blood boil, how naive Aziraphale could be sometimes. How he still, after all this time, believed Heaven and Hell would keep their word.

“There’s no proof of that. And I might like to live life in the fast lane but not if it means getting kids hurt.” Aziraphale went to open his mouth but Crowley continued. “You know 10 years is a blink of the eye for us, and even more so for Above and Below. Talk to me in a millennia angel.”

“But you do want them. You just don’t think it’s safe right now?” Aziraphale looked hopeful again and Crowley didn’t have it in him to crush him a third time.

“Yeah, yeah I guess. But we can’t.” He tried to put emphasis on that last big but Aziraphale was already learning over, placing his hand on Crowley’s shoulder and squeezing.

“Thank you, Crowley. I’m very sorry for calling you a coward, among the other things I said.”

This all felt a little easy to Crowley, but by that point, he was desperate for anything to end it. It gave him an out without having to resolutely say no, something he found almost impossible when it came to Aziraphale. Let him hope that they’d have another 1000 years undisturbed.

“Whatever, angel. Can we finish our drive in peace?” Aziraphale nodded, smiling slightly though his posture was still a little uncomfortable. Crowley shifted the Bently back into gear and felt the warm eat of Aziraphale’s hand rest over his. Even though he was still a little ticked off Crowley allowed it, relieved to know Aziraphale wasn’t actually angry with him for saying no.

“Of course, I won’t say another word about it today.” Crowley noted the add-on of “today” but still kept silent. Something told him he hadn’t quite won this battle yet.