#my ex and i recently admitted that we still love each other

[2811y]

.

[rafeovermorals]

CELIBACY - RAFE CAMERON

it’s been too long, celibacy what do you want? tell it to me dropped to my knees let me break your streak, i’m begging you, please

content: inspired on the song celibacy by partynextdoor and drake. includes smut, oral (m receiving), fingering, p in v, cream pie, rafe kinda creeps on reader a bit, MINORS DNI!!!!

word count: 3.1k

a/n: this is my first time writing a fic let alone my first time posting on tumblr, please bare with me! still trying to figure out a good layout and there may be misspellings so i’m sorry. feedback is greatly appreciated!! and i’m opening my inbox to requests or questions to talk about rafe/drew/etc.

“you haven’t been fucked in how long?” sarah asked you a bit too loud, her eyes wide in shock at your confession.

you had just told her that you were going on over a year celibate. four hundred and thirty two days.. that’s if you were counting, of course.

it initially started when you and your boyfriend broke up. a drunken fight over jealousy resulted in three years down the drain. you were in no rush to find another sexual partner anytime soon because he was your first for everything. first kiss, first touch, first love. it took you a few months to go through the stages of grief but you got over him eventually, except your standards were different now. through your healing, you realized that you settled for a lot of things that you shouldn’t have.

one of those things being his performance during sex, or lack there of. it was mediocre to say the least, all about him, him, him. you tried to excuse it with the fact that you were his first too, and maybe he just didn’t know any better. but as time went on, nothing changed. he didn’t listen to your wants or needs, and certainly couldn’t fulfill your deepest desires. you were convinced that no one ever would, so you stayed celibate.

you hadn’t even kissed someone since him. you weren’t sure if you still remembered what it felt like.

“sarah!” you exclaimed in embarrassment, giving her a light smack on the arm to hush her. “talk quieter, i don’t need ward hearing anything about my sex life.” you scrunched up your nose at the thought.

“the man is ancient, he can’t hear shit.“ sarah replied nonchalantly. she looked over at her bedroom door to check that it was closed before turning back to face you. “we need to get you laid.”

you shook your head. it’s not like you hadn’t considered it, especially recently. you thought about that more than you’d like to admit, really. most nights ended with your hand between your thighs, attempting to get yourself off. you were always left unsatisfied, it was like an itch in a place you couldn’t quite reach to scratch on your own.

you had been on a few dates, but nothing ever clicked. kildare island was a small town so everyone knew each other. it was difficult, to say the least, to find someone without association to your ex. “i don’t know.. i mean, where would i even start? tinder?”

“hell no. that’s a breeding ground for creeps and losers.” she immediately dismissed. she grabbed her phone from beside her, pulling up a text thread from her boyfriend and flipping it around to show you. “there’s a party at topper’s later, you should come. maybe you’ll find someone there.”

you wanted to say no, but sarah was persistent. you knew she wouldn’t let this down anytime soon, so you agreed to appease her mind. “okay.. i’ll go.”

what you didn’t know is that the walls of tannyhill were thin, and someone was listening in on everything.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

coming here was a bad idea.

it didn’t take long for sarah to walk off to go find topper, leaving you on your own. you slipped through the crowd, finding yourself a drink but no luck with finding anyone worth your time. you quickly felt overstimulated, deciding to wander to the back of the house to find a place away from the crowd. you sat down on a couch, scrolling through your phone absentmindedly to pass the time.

sarah had driven the both of you there, which was definitely a mistake on your part since you knew she would stay the night with topper anyway. she probably thought this would leave you no choice but to go home with someone. you’d have to talk to her about that later.

you were fixing to send her a message that you going to walk home, calling it an early night, until a voice spoke in front of you.

“hey, sugar.”

your eyes left your phone screen, peering up to meet rafe towering over you. he was so close that you had to crane your neck to fully see him. you had always thought he was good looking, too attractive for his own good. he had on a tight-fitted, salmon colored polo paired with his go to khaki shorts, his hair swooped and parted to the side with gel. his arms were folded across his chest, biceps flexing with a sly smile tugging on his lips as he looked down at you. “can i join you?”

you felt your shoulders drop in relief, thankful that it was him and not one of the other frat boys there. you and rafe weren’t close by any means, sarah made sure of that. any time he would try to talk to you while she was around, she would shut it down immediately. not that he really cared or listened to what anyone told him. he wasn’t going to let that stop him, which is why he needed to find a way to get you alone, and this opportunity had you falling right into his lap.

“rafe, hi. i was just about to leave.. actually.”

he had been watching you carefully since the moment you walked in. rafe was a calculated man like that, purposefully standing in the corner of the kitchen to keep track of you throughout the night. he saw a kid— who was way too confident— make his advances on you by offering a drink, but you declined and poured your own instead.

‘smart girl.’ rafe muttered to himself, taking a sip of his beer as you turned him down. you strutted off shortly after that, which he soon followed.

his face twisted in confusion. “so soon? you haven’t even been here an hour.”

you bit the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say. it’s not like you could tell him why you were there in the first place. you already felt ridiculous for even considering this idea.

“just.. not really in the mood tonight.” you answered hesitantly. it wasn’t necessarily a lie, but something about rafe made you nervous. he was older than you by a few years, and you could feel it through his presence. the way he asserted himself, it made you feel small. submissive.

he nodded, his eyes taking you in as you sat there. you were wearing a little black top and a denim skirt so short that it should be illegal. you tugged down on it a bit in reaction to his gaze, the fabric not budging as it clung to your thick thighs. he noticed the apples of your cheeks turning pink at his stare.

rafe couldn’t help but smirk. you were so cute, so sweet. he liked seeing you like this— without sarah. how such a good girl like you could be so close with her was beyond him. what kind of friend was she to bring you here to get fucked by some stranger?

but he wouldn’t let that happen.

“i’ll take you to the house then. i can’t let you walk back this late.”

“no no, i’ll be fine. i-“

“that wasn’t a question.”

he reached out his hand, gesturing for you to grab it before you could protest any further. it would just be a quick ride back to tannyhill, right?

you exhaled, putting your smaller hand into his and letting him pull you off the couch. his fingers intertwined with yours as led you through the crowd, people’s eyes following as the both of you passed by. it was hard not to get attention being next to rafe cameron— girls wishing they were you and boys wishing they were him. you dropped your head hoping that no one would notice. that was doubtful.

the tension during the drive was thick. you felt his eyes on you more than the road, which had you squirming in the leather passenger seat. his car smelled like him— a mix of weed and cedarwood cologne filling your senses. you almost felt lightheaded with how nervous you were and he hadn’t even done anything.

on the other hand, rafe was loving every second of it. he had been dreaming of this moment before you were even single. his sisters pretty little best friend, always around but just barely out of his reach, was currently in the palm of his hand.

partynextdoor was playing on the radio, you could hear him humming along as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. you heard your phone ding with a text notification— from sarah.

sarah: hey i’m downstairs did you leave?

you: yeah, sorry i couldn’t find you

sarah: with who??

sarah: please don’t say brian

sarah: tell me if he’s hot at least

sarah: is his dick big?

“everything okay?” rafe broke the silence, gesturing to your leg that started to bounce.

“it’s sarah, wantin’ to know who i’m with..” you replied, your thumbs hovering over the keyboard to type out a response to her.

he placed his hand on your knee, his grip gentle but firm enough to stop your moments. “just ignore her.” he said it like a suggestion, but his underlying tone told you that it wasn’t. you couldn’t help but listen to him, powering off your phone all together.

he kept his hand there, rubbing small circles with his thumb before he decided to test you, slowly going up your thigh. the warmth from his hand went straight to your core, your legs subconsciously parting just slightly at his touch.

“rafe..” you attempted to hide the shakiness in your voice. he was still driving, his eyes set forward. it took everything in him not to stop and take care of you right there— parking his car off the dirt road and bending you over in the backseat— but he held himself back. not only out of respect for you, but he wanted to do it the right way. he had been waiting to have you for years, he could handle a few more minutes.

“when’s the last time you’ve been touched like this, sweetheart?”

his fingers were now lingering between your thighs, slipping past that excuse of a skirt and brushing over your white panties. “and tell me the truth, or i stop.” he coaxed, his middle fingers pressed through the fabric, it becoming wet with your arousal. you whimpered at his touch, ashamed that you were reacting so easily to him. it was as if he already knew your body— knowing exactly where and how to you touch without even looking.

“i- i don’t know.” you breathed out. your head was fuzzy with desire, a feeling foreign to you.

“i think you do.” he thumbed your clothed clit, your head falling back against the seat in response. “i heard you and sarah talking earlier. could’ve came to me instead, y’know.” he continued to rub over your heat, just enough to tease you to the point it was nearly unbearable.

rafe sped up the rest of the way home, his patience running thin with his cock straining in his shorts. you were even more impatient, bucking your hips into his hand to feel some relief. you were beginning to make a mess on the seat and his fingers weren’t even inside of you yet.

before you knew it you were being thrown onto rafe’s bed, your legs hanging off the edge as he stood in between them.

“such a needy lil’ thing, hm?” he ditched your soaked panties on the floor, running his calloused fingertips over your slit to lather them with your slick. he parted your lips— so pretty and pink and glistening just for him. you were perfect.

he circled at your clit, applying pressure to the sensitive bud. you were pulsating beneath him as he started to rub faster, your thighs trembling. he pressed his middle finger at your entry, sinking himself in down to the knuckle.

rafe warmed up your cunt a bit longer before adding a second digit, pumping both in and out of you with determination— your soft moans spilling out like music to his ears. “god, baby, you’re drippin’ everywhere..” you whined at his words, which only made him keep going.

he curled his fingers, your gushy walls engulfing him as he hit that special spot inside of you. you could feel everything— the metal of his rings hitting against your cunt, the heat of his breath on your neck as he nibbled at it, the coil in your belly tightening.

“rafe.. i- i feel like-“

“i know baby, it’s okay. i got you.” he mumbled into your ear before he brought your lips to his, kissing you like it’s all he could do to breathe. you tasted so pure, like a ripe summer peach on his tongue— and he just wanted to swallow you whole. he continued to suck on your bottom lip until it was swollen, only pulling away to watch you.

and the look he was giving you— hungry with desire— was it took before you snapped, cumming for what felt like the first time. he held your hips in place with his other hand, holding you down to ride out your high.

you were gasping for air at this point, your bottom mascara smudged from the tears that prickled from your eyes. rafe looked wrecked as well, face pink and his once perfectly laid hair now disheveled. you didn’t know why until you sat up and saw it, the outline of his cock prominent in his shorts. your breath hitched, your doe eyes widening at the sight.

he grabbed your hand and brought it over his length, guiding you to rub it back and forth. even through the clothes you could tell he was bigger than your ex, surely. the thought alone had you pulsating.

“don’t by shy, sweetheart.”

you unbuttoned his shorts, pulling them down with his boxers to free his erect member. it hit his stomach, the tip red and leaking pre cum from being pent up for so long. he was girthy, thicker than his two fingers that you could hardly take a few minutes ago.

still, you pursued. you reached down to your sopping cunt, cupping it to lubricate your hand and bringing it to his cock. he let out a groan as you stroked him, jerking your wrist in smooth motions.

rafe was in heaven. you seemed so shy and innocent at first, he felt almost wrong for corrupting you like this— that was until you took it upon yourself to lick up the vein of his shaft, taking him into your mouth. you began to swirl your tongue, flicking it at his head to collect the dribbled cum. you went further, one hand at his base until you felt him hit the back of your throat. he rutted his hips, grabbing a fistful of your hair in a halt. if you kept going like this he wasn’t going to last.

“need to be inside you.” his voice was filled with desperation. he was panting at this point, a string of saliva following when he pulled you away. “please.”

you couldn’t finishing nodding your head before he went straight to work, pushing you flat to the bed with his weight on top of you. he ripped off your shirt, unclasping your lace bra in one smooth motion. rafe loved the feminine physique, and he was absolutely infatuated with yours. your tits were perky, full cups that sat sculpted on you just like a roman statue. your tummy was plush with a shimmery belly ring, the curves of your waist and hips drawing him in.

he brought his mouth to your breasts, lapping his tongue over one nipple as he fondled with the other. he was so eager— sucking and twisting at them like he was trying to feed. you were mewling, twisting under him at the sensation.

he slid his cock over your puffy folds. “saving this pussy for me, weren’t you?”

he slipped in raw, slowly filling you up inch by inch. he tried to go easy on you, but fuck, the way you were clenching around him it was like you were begging for more.

you were so stretched out, so full, and he still hadn’t put himself all the way in. he was thrusting into you at agonizing pace, not allowing you to adjust to his large size. you tried to scoot away, the pleasure being too much to bear, but he held you in place at the waist. he watched you engulf his dick in satisfaction— a creamy ring forming at the base.

“so fuckin’ tight— shit.” rafe moaned, squeezing his grip on the flesh of your stomach which would surly have bruises by morning. he finally bottomed out, hitting your core with a smooth trust. he was splitting you open with no mercy as his room echoed with the sound of skin slapping skin.

“suckin’ me in so well, feel like a virgin. you sure you been fucked before?”

“not like this.” you barely choked out, turning your head into the sheets as he quickened his speed. your face was flushed— chin still covered in spit and brows furrowed together.

“mhmm, but this is what you wanted, isn’t it baby?” his voice was raspy, almost mocking. he was molding himself inside you, like you were made just for him— filling you perfectly as your walls took his shape. his tip skimmed your g-spot, making you cry.

he arched your hips off the bed, moving his palms down to the fat of your ass— kneading it as your pussy started to flutter around him. he could tell you were close, your bodies chest to chest as he pounded into you.

you let go, jolts running through you as you came around his length with the second orgasm coursing through you. you had your legs wrapped around him, milking him dry. he didn’t let up either, continuing to hit into you at a brutal rate.

“gonna nut inside you like you deserve.” his grunted with gritted teeth, burying himself inside of you. his movements stuttered as he reached his peak— cock twitching as he released, his cum spurting in you with thick, hot ropes. he stayed there for a moment, assuring you got every drop before finally pulling out.

he laid down next to you, heavy, ragid breaths leaving the both of you in sync.

“you won’t need to be celibate any more, sugar.”

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie Timeline Speculation

To preface, I believe both Buck and Eddie are already feeling "in love" feelings towards each other, but at this moment in time I still don't think either of them recognizes what those feelings actually are. I am not on the team that believes Buck and/or Eddie already know they're in love with the other and just haven't said anything. I think that this is a TV show, and the TV show is going to want to SHOW US those moments on screen so that we (but more specifically, the GA) know without a shadow of a doubt that this is the romantic path they're on. So, no, simple staring or loving gazes is not going to be enough confirmation. Words need to be spoken out loud and made textual. We're far beyond accepting subtextual crumbs now.

Here's what I think could be reasonable in terms of the trajectory of Buck and Eddie's feelings realizations as well as the timeline of Eddie's gay realization arc and potentially when they could tell each other their feelings. Strap in for another long-ass dissertation by me.

Can't they just realize on their own?

First of all, of the two of them I think that BUCK is the closest by far to recognizing what his feelings are. HOWEVER, I think that he will require an external catalyst to actually break the glass and open the Pandora's box and finally put it in front of his face. As we've seen, subtle does not work for Buck or Eddie. Hinting doesn't work, trying to steer them in the right direction doesn't work, and hoping they'll realize on their own doesn't work. NDE realizations don't work either. At this point in time I feel like both need to be told with words by someone. Buck by a third party, and Eddie by Buck.

Who could tell Buck?

I think the most likely option is Maddie or potentially the return of an ex. Some people speculate Taylor, personally, I'm speculating Tommy. He's more recent, and his breakup with Buck was so vague that it definitely left the door open for Tommy to come back in and have to clarify what he really meant. Especially given the vague "Buck is running into people" thing in one of the interviews. I think at this point the big thing Buck learns in 8x11 that shocked Oliver "by how directly it's being addressed" and Buck feels is "Ludicrous" and makes him uncomfortable will be someone pointing out Buck's feelings for Eddie. This all is feeling very reminiscent of the time last season when most of us felt like Bi Buck was on the horizon (and we were right), except 100-fold. In 7x04, Buck had to be told (or shown in this case) that men are an option for him too. That was easier for him to accept. Accepting his feelings for Eddie will not be such a walk in the park.

That then places Buck in a place to have to come to terms with and accept his feelings and also make a decision on how to handle his feelings through the end of 8b. Putting a pin in Buck for now.

Will Eddie realize he's queer in El Paso?

I don't think Eddie is going to have his gay realization in Texas. I think his time in Texas needs to address three things 1.) His relationship with Chris 2.) his unhealthy romanticization of Shannon and 3.) his unhealthy relationship with his parents, his mom in particular. I simply don't think there's enough time for Eddie to realize he's queer while in Texas. There's just too much ground Eddie needs to cover and I fear if we try to shove the queer realization into it as well it will feel rushed.

Here's my El Paso counterproposal

Through addressing Shannon, his parents and healing his relationship with Chris, my hope is that we get Eddie letting go of his compulsive need to find a Wife & A Mother Figure for Chris. He will stop forcing himself into a Heteronormative lifestyle. I want him to rise in his own power and admit to himself, his parents, and Chris that he's no longer going to force himself to do what he doesn't want to do. No longer will he force himself to date (women, but most likely that will be subtextual still at this point) when he doesn't want to, no longer will be trying to replace Shannon (I think this is the core of what hurts Chris the most), and no longer will be letting himself fold to his parent's manipulation. How he gets there is anyone's guess, but I think once he admits to himself that he's happier raising Chris in a non-heteronormative, non-nuclear family, and it's the healthier option for both himself AND Chris, he will finally set himself free from the shackles of living up to Expectations. This, I think, will set up excellent groundwork for what comes next: the return to LA.

Eddie and Christopher come back to LA. My guess is that this will happen somewhere around episodes 16-17. Putting a pin in Eddie for now.

To Reveal or To Not Reveal Feelings

Buck, meanwhile, has come to terms with his feelings but has made the choice to not say anything to Eddie while he's in El Paso because he knows Eddie needs to focus on healing his relationship with Chris in Texas. Once Eddie and Chris are back, Buck will be forced for the first time to be around Eddie while knowing his feelings and actively not saying anything (ie. not making this about him). This will be compounded by forced proximity and the push-pull of whether or not Buck will stay living in the Diaz house.

Here's the crux of where Buck's decision comes in. I think Buck will have made a solid decision before this that he will never tell Eddie his feelings. This is for a myriad of reasons that the show may or may not address, but I feel that bringing up the "you're making it about you again!" line in their big fight in 8x09 and bringing back Buck's severe fear of losing Eddie was purposeful in order to set up Buck's reasoning to keep his feelings to himself until the last minute.

Buck will present Eddie with the options again: water or juice?

Ultimately, something will have to be a catalyst for Buck to reveal his feelings to Eddie. My guess is an NDE disaster of some sort near the end of the season. I think, at this point in time, Buck will not tell Eddie his feelings unless he feels Eddie will be taken from him permanently. He'll have a revelation along the lines of Chim's "time is never guaranteed, so if you love her, tell her". He has an opportunity presented to him, but the consequences could be devastating.

I think Buck will then tell Eddie his feelings near the end of the season, either in the penultimate or finale episode.

I think that Buck's reveal of his feelings to Eddie will be the glass shattering for Eddie. I think this would be the strongest catalyst that could make Eddie have to force himself to sit with himself and think "this is the person I love most in the world aside from my son but is the love I feel for him romantic? Is that why it nearly killed me to be away from him for so long?". Once queerness and a loving relationship with Buck are presented to Eddie as an option, that will be the moment that Eddie goes on his true journey of realizing that not only is he not straight, but he never romantically loved a woman. He's been forcing himself to drink nothing but water his whole life, but here's his chance to choose juice, to choose joy. This won't be an immediate thing though, no.

I think Eddie will be shocked. Because, like Buck felt initially, this is an uncomfortable truth finally brought to light. Eddie will have to sit with his feelings for a minute. He has an opportunity, but the consequences of any choice could potentially be devastating.

Up in the air choice, setting up conflict for s9

We're getting into wish fulfillment territory here, but I would love it if Eddie does NOT reject Buck right away but instead asks "Can I get a bit of time to think about this?" in a direct parallel to when he asked Shannon for time and she instead left him high and dry. But this time, Buck grants Eddie his time, telling Eddie he's not going anywhere. In the meantime, they remain best friends, co-parents, and partners living together in the Diaz house, just with the equal knowledge that they can choose to turn it into more if they want. This will be Buck and Eddie's main conflict of season 9.

What about the summer hiatus?

I could then see the hiatus between s8 and s9 as a stasis period where Eddie does his thinking and the whole time they've been living together, and neither really wants Buck to leave, but they haven't yet addressed the elephant in the room. This way, we won't miss out on big moments, and the writers can continue to show us ON SCREEN development.

Enter season 9

We then have the whole next season for them to finally address everything ON SCREEN. Mainly:

1.) Eddie season 9 conflict: realizing that Buck has already been a part of their family, a father to Chris, and a life partner to Eddie this whole time, and he wants to keep it. But is he physically attracted to Buck? I want to see Eddie grappling with his new-found physical attraction to Buck, and then realizing, holy shit, it's been men this whole time. And now fully processing why he's held onto Shannon for so long. 2.) Buck season 9 conflict: does he push for what he wants, or does he wait for Eddie to come to him? Does Buck make more active choices to help Eddie along or does he "fall into it" like he always does. Is he torturing himself by living with Eddie? By having everything he wants an inch away from him but being unable to grasp it firmly? Who is he to Chris? 3.) Buddie season 9 conflict: Both of them making the choice, will they or won't they? Will they finally actively decide to choose each other? To make the final jump and cross the line into relationship territory?

Of course, the answer to all of this is yes, they most definitely will. Why? Because I firmly believe the second they made Buck bi that they were going down this path, and so far I haven't been proven wrong. And now, I firmly believe the second they have one of them realize their feelings, Buddie is imminent and endgame. There's plenty of time for all of this and more in season 9.

Anyway, this is just speculation and I feel like this timeline would be satisfying for me as a viewer who's been watching and wanting Buddie canon since season 3. Not too fast, not too slow. With adequate time for both Buck and Eddie to address their individual issues as well as their couple issues. What do y'all think?

[baphmochii]

Inmate Sal x f!reader ~ PenPal (HC's)

18+/CW: SFW with a dash of NSFW. PenPal turned Romantic. Reader is female and of age (adult).

°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°

This is something I thought of and I'm hoping it doesn't turn out awful. I know that no one's perfect when it comes to writing anything but.. *exhale* here we go.

°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°

✯ (How it Started): You're close friend had told you about inmate penpal's, they would read you their letters of what their penpal would write and it sparked an interest if you wanting to have a penpal.

✯ After getting set up and registering for a penpal, to your luck you manage to get Sal. It started off as (surprisingly) friendly back and forth conversation. It felt as if you were talking with an old friend you haven't seen in years, you would write Sal about your day, what you plans you had, college and other normie things. Sal would write to you about his day and what goes on in prison. (ex: riots, stabbings, etc.) The usual of what happens in a prison.

✯ You would eventually send Sal a photo of yourself after some time of talking and getting to know each other via letters, you slipped your photo in with the most recent letter you sent off to him. Once he got that letter and opened it, seeing your gorgeous face.. something changed in him.

✯ Sal was infatuated with you. Truth behold.. Sal was starting to gain feelings for you, strong romantic and sexual feelings. To admit, there were a few times Sal beat his cock silly to the photo of you, he felt shame afterwards, perverted too. He would imagine that it was you on your hands and knees, sucking his thick cock, taking it as deep as it would go down your tiny throat. The things he wanted to do to you... and you didn't even know it. Yet.

✯ Sal would manage to send a photo of himself to you (making a trade with another inmate), he would also slip his photo into his recent letter he sent off to you. Once you got it, you got to see him. Yes, you've seen mugshots of him before but that was along time ago and this was recent. He was.. handsome, he looked quite mysterious. His prosthetic made you feel.. tingly. You wanted to see more of him, especially his face. That would be asking for too much.

✯ The both you would still have conversations but there would also be.. "interesting" conversation. You would engage first with the explicit talk: "I have to be honest Sal.. I played with myself to your photo. I really want you inside of me, I really.. just want you to break me til' I'm unable to walk or form a sentence." You wrote in one letter. In return, Sal would praise you, call you his "good girl", his. Only his.

. . "You make me go feral inside of my cell. You're all I can think about, day and night, princess. I really want to feel your skin, you look so soft." . .

. . "In the showers when I'm alone. All I can think about is wanting to shower with you, our bare skin pressed together as we get each other clean." . .

. . "How are you doing today, princess? Did you remember to eat today? How were your finals today, too? I hope you did your best on it, you're my smart girl." . .

✯ I forgot to mention: Aside from the usual conversation and sexual talk/teasing of each other. Sal would regularly make sure you were eating, making your bed, brushing your teeth, just overall genuinely caring about you. Sal doesn't see you as his "little fuck toy" he sees you as his princess. His precious girl to care for you, he desperately wishes he wasn't behind bars so he can be with you. Sal has never felt this way in a long time with anyone, he's been through so much. Sal is quite surprised you feel the same way towards him.

✯ Being in love with an inmate and yes, a murderer despite him not having a choice. You loved the man, you shared personal things with him, shared many things with him actually. If only there was a way to get him out, to get him his freedom he deserved so badly.

✯ In your recent letters, you and Sal scheduled a meetup at Nockfell Prison. You two would finally see each other face-to-face for the first time. It made the both your hearts beat and flutter like there was no tomorrow, he had so much to tell you and you, the same. You'd finally be able to see his beautiful face (even if it's his prosthetic). It was a face you'd grow to love.

... Bonus!!🎉 (18+) 🥵

✯ Remember how you and Sal would send each other photos yourselves? Well, yes, the both of you would send naughty pictures to each other too.

✯ Sal loved when you would send photos of your naked body. He yearned to touch your curves, feel your breasts and squeeze them in his large hands. He wanted to feel every inch of you.

✯ I do think at one point Sal had manage to photograph his cock (a dick pic lol) and when you saw the image - THIS MAN IS HUNG. You always wondered how big or what it looked like but, the guy is big (8inches).

✯ Ah sending each other naughty pics was what got both of you through your days. Sal made a private folder (somehow) of all the naked/lewd pics of you, his girl. His little shrine~

°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°

Phew! I hope I did good at writing this, this was all off the top of my head but I really wanted to write a penpal turned romantic type of thing, I guess? If you all want more or wanna ask questions (it can be SFW/NSFW questions)

Reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

Inbox is Open - 24/7 - SFW/NSFW Asks/Questions are Allowed ❤️

- Aki✯

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Many Tiny Idiots, Some Irreverent Hotness & an Engagement

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 4 of 16 - OK so Hill has really been trying to pick him up from the beginning? I don’t understand why there’s any doubt around girls at all. He Gay everyone. Why is Tatch (2 Moons Ambassador) the only seme in Thai BL history allowed to actually just say "I don’t date women.”

Why is that so hard?

This show is definitely frustrating me, but I must admit that it’s the one I look forward to the most each week.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 15 - I am now only watching the uncut version, and I gotta say it makes all the difference. Please don’t watch the cut version of this show if you can possibly help it. It’s like cliff's notes of cliff's notes. I love the tiny side couple of tough kid + the dork of the music club. Ah the beach sequence. Condenced WAY DOWN, I see. We lost one of the most iconic lines in all BL but i think everything is improved by how much tighter the plot is in the remake (6 episodes became 1!). So I’m enjoying it. Weirdly, I'm not sure I would be enjoying it, if I hadn’t seen the original.

Is anyone watching this on iQIYI who hasn't seen the original? Just out of curiosity. Tell me how it's going for you, would ya? 

I'm doing a face-off style watch along of this new version versus the original 2014-2015 version.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t entirely get it. They were apart for approximately 11 minutes. I would’ve thought GMMTV would’ve drawn it out for longer and more angst. Smiley face kiss was cute, but the star of this ep was that gorgeous pale blue waffle sweater on Q. What a great color for Leng! 

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I do like that we’re seeing an honest exploration of poverty and hopelessness. I’m not sure how I feel about it inside my BL, tho I’m willing to persavere for this pair.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 12 end - Someone said recently "just imagine what TutorYim could do with an actual script." And you know what? I agree. Because they sure as shit haven’t gotten one yet. And it’s getting quite frustrating. I’m having JaFirst flashbacks. Frankly, 2024 has been a year of unmitigated BL nonsense narratives. And I’m tired of it. I know it’s bog standard for the genre, but it feels like there’s been more than normal faff this year.

Summary 

An incredibly convoluted, disjointed, and badly-paced drama that is about(?) some writers writing a thing and some boys who knew each other when they were kids, lots of pretty sexy times, and not much else. The visuals are gorgeous, the side couples are overly appealing (with little to no screen time), the dubbing and sound is absurdly bad, and the fantasy novel (play within a play) makes no sense whatsoever while also managing to be the show that we all actually wanted to see instead of what we were given. 6/10 

In conclusion, I have no interest in attempting to understand or revisit this show, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it, but if you have nothing better to do…… the sex is good (frankly I have exes that satisfy all the same criteria). So there it is: this show is like a bad but still hot ex.  

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Nice to see Fiat in something again. Namping is very angel baby.  This episode made me think that this pair would do a great Thai remake of Love Tractor, and now that’s pretty much all I want in life. I enjoyed wardrobe in this episode. It looks like we get the same characters next week. Cool. 

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I guess everyone is messy slutty bisexual in this show? Do I care? Not even slightly. BLabies, I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I might have to drop this one.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 13 - I adore it, what a wonderful meet cute. I love a Taiwanese BL that starts with a gratuitous kidnapping, some chasing, and a bit of a fight sequence. We in OLD fashioned territory. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 5 of ? - I continue to enjoy it very much.

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 4 of 7 - Oh! Is the sleazy boss gonna turn out to be actually a sleazy player? That would be an interesting twist.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 3 of 8 - I’m really not a big fan of my pain coming from Korea. I’m getting a whiff of To My Star 2 from this one. And that does not make me happy. I know: high quality high angst yada yada blah blah blah. But also unnecessary pain? No thank you. 

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 12 end - Of course, I love the part where Reese and Orca spoke each other’s languages.

Conclusion

Had this been produced a mere 3 or 4 years ago, I would’ve been quite enamored. But by comparison to what we’ve been getting, this is a lackluster offering. A has-been musician and a much younger composer meet, fall in love, and attempt to rectify his stalled musical career. Cute side couple of a Thai popstar + his Korean manager. Everyone is very fine and it was a fine show. I wasn’t disappointed, but I wasn’t impressed either. 8/10 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 6 of 10 eps - It was a fun little confession and climax, there was crying, and a bridge kiss (been a while) all of this appeals to me even if they are tiny idiots (in the immortal words of @heretherebedork )

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 5-6 of 12 - More tiny idiot boyfriends who don’t realize they’re boyfriends. That’s it, that’s all that’s happening. Ostensibly there’s some kind of murder. But it seems to be acting more like set dressing than plot.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - Supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

In case you missed it

Mew & Tul legit engaged.

Love in the Big City (Korea Viki) 8ep - Vicki dropped them all at once which means I did what I do under such circumstances and skipped to watch the final episode. (I am well aware that this makes me a monster. ) Anygay, that told me that I’m not gonna be bothering to watch the series. Now y'all can tell me how amazing it is and what I’ve missed and blah blah blah. But I’m comfortable with my choice. It’s ICRY 2.0 + HIV. And I’m not willing to play its literatti game. At some point I might watch it on fast-forward for the sex scenes, but I’m not at that point yet. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming:

10/27 Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) 24 eps! - New directing yet another university BL with engineers + their mentees. Based on a Jittirain novel. with a massive cast and massive run time. We will be watching this until APRIL of 2025!

ForceBook playing the same old characters = enemies to lovers tsunder/sunshine jock/nerd thing.

PerthChimonSanta are doing the cohabitation cool guy/dork trope.

JuniorMark are doing popular sunshine meets lonely sad boy (the only interesting pair IMHO).

I think Blue Canvas of Youthful Days has started on iQIYI but I only get it on Viki and that doesn't drop for a few days, plus...... CBL......? Not sure I'll report on this one unless it's really good.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

From Uncle Unknown which is truly terrible but this was so SO funny. I'm still chuckling when I think about it.

The first representation of shipping in a BL that I actually enjoyed. Also Dat's clear approval of being shipped didn't hurt. (Judge)

(lask week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[queerocfandomer]

ExWidow Russian Girlfriend Problems?

One-Shot - 1775 Words Natasha/GNreader - Yelena/Kate Fluff inspired by the classic -’do you like me=we are married’- incorrect quotes

It was a quiet night at the complex, a rare moment when almost everyone had left to be with their families for the long weekend. It was Natasha's turn to hold down the fort, which, of course, meant that you both remained behind. Across the room, she was immersed in a game of pool with Yelena, her laughter and competitive spirit lighting up the space, while you lounged on the couch, lost in the details of the most recent mission reports. Meanwhile, Kate and America had finally abandoned their barstools after what felt like endless attempts to perfect their knife and glass balancing trick. You were thankful, really—the persistent clatter of knives hitting the table had started to wear on your nerves.

“Goodnight, everyone!” America called out, waving as she made her way to the elevator. You all paused to acknowledge her departure, and before diving back into your tablet, you glanced at Natasha. She caught your gaze, then winked and blew you a playful kiss. With a small smile, you mimed catching it and tucking it away in your pocket. 

“Wow, that might be the cheesiest thing I've ever seen,” Kate exclaimed as she claimed a spot on the couch beside you.

“If it is, you really need to watch more movies,” you quipped, before diving back into your work. As Kate got comfortable, you noticed her eyes fixed intently on the pool match unfolding across the room. After a few moments, you set the tablet aside and turned your gaze to her.

“What’s on your mind, Bishop?”

“Oh, me? Uh, yeah, nothing, just, you know, chillin’.”

“Look, I know we haven't known each other long, but I’d like to remind you I’m not THAT much older than you,” you said playfully, smirking. “We can still be friends, even if I have to be a little bossy during training and all that.”

“Right, yeah. It’s just that I’m still getting used to being on a team with the people I used to admire on TV,” she admitted, a sheepish look crossing her face.

“Trust me; we have the same everyday problems that anyone else does. So if you’ve got something on your mind, feel free to share—like maybe now, since you’re obviously dwelling on something.”

“Okay, okay,” she sighed, swirling the last of her drink in contemplation. “I was just thinking… you two have been together for, like, a long while, right?”

“I think most people would say so, yes,” you chuckled, adjusting your position to face her more fully. “So, it’s an Ex-Widow Russian Girlfriend kinda dilemma?”

“What? No! I mean, Yelena isn’t my… ah, we aren’t… is it that obvious?”

You couldn't suppress a laugh, shaking your head. “If I had to use one word, Kate, it would be—painfully.” You watched as the blush in her face began to dim. “I know things were a bit rocky at the start, but honestly, we’ve just been waiting for you to tell us for a couple months now.”

“Oh,” she paused, taking a sip of her drink, her gaze fixated on Yelena before returning to you. She shifted closer on the couch, her voice dropping to a softer beat. “Okay, so it’s like… ugh, yes, we’re dating, right? But are we? I asked her, and she said yes, so we did that, but then we kept hanging out, and it feels like dates, but we don’t actually say it, and she’s, like, really closed off but also super flirty, depending on who’s around. I just don’t know if it’s real or just… ugh, I don’t even know!”

“Mmmm, well that sounds about right. Look, I’ve only known Yelena for a couple of years longer than you, and that’s just her vibe. But I get what you’re saying. I don’t know much about your childhood, Kate, but I think we can both agree that theirs is a whole other story, and obviously, all that comes with a lot of trauma. None of us here are free of that burden, but for them, it runs deeper. Generally speaking, that history means they aren’t used to being loved or allowing those feelings, so it can take time to break through. And our line of work doesn’t help. We are painfully aware every day of how caring for someone can lead to hurt—for both you and them. So, gradually breaking down your walls to embrace love? It’s a heck of a challenge. It took me ages to figure out how to navigate my own way through.”

Kate nodded, her understanding evident in the glint of her eyes as she absorbed your words.

“You know, it still feels so bizarre to have people seeking my dating advice. I never saw myself as that person,” you admitted.

“But you two are just so perfect together; you mesh like seamlessly,” she observed, a hint of envy lacing her tone.

“That’s sweet, but it didn’t always look like this, you know. Just like everyone else, we have our struggles. We knew each other for years before we finally got our act together. We’re certainly not perfect; we’ve had our share of ups and downs, disagreements, mess-ups, and fights. But we chose to work through them. I do get that they come off as intimidating—not sure if it’s a Russian, assassin, or spy thing, but yeah, they can be a little abrasive at times, I won’t deny that.”

You both shared a warm smile, a mutual understanding passing between you.

“Sometimes, the people who seem the most indifferent are actually the ones who care the most. It’s just their wall protecting them because they’re unsure if it’s safe to open up and allow themselves to care. Each person has their own way of navigating that. But there’s one thing I can definitely tell you specifically about those two,” you added, eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“I’ll take any insight I can get,” she said quietly, leaning in.

“They don't put on an act when they don’t have to. Unless it’s for a mission, they aren't the type to hang around to fulfill social expectations. Yelena wouldn’t spend time with you if she didn’t genuinely want to, trust me. She wouldn’t bother to invest the effort if she didn’t care.”

“I just wish she would talk to me more,” Kate lamented, her voice tinged with frustration. “Like, just tell me that.”

“Yeah, that can definitely take time, but they’re pretty direct when it matters. If you haven’t noticed, those two are not shy about telling it like it is. So… you could always just ask her.”

A loud burst of energy erupted from the pool table, and you turned to see Natasha reveling in her victory while Yelena sulked in defeat. You stood, turning back to Kate before heading over.

“Maybe you should start by just telling her how you feel and that you just want to know how she does,” you suggested nonchalantly. “Sometimes you just have to embrace the cheese.” She nodded, a shy smile crossing her lips as she joined you in moving toward the pool table.

“Hey, Natasha, quick question for you,” you called out, approaching the duo. She turned, an eyebrow cocked in curiosity. “I was just wondering—do you like me?” you asked, a teasing grin spreading on your face.

“I asked you to marry me,” she replied, rolling her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Yeah, but was that like a friend thing or a love thing?”

“You’re ridiculous,” she replied, laughter bubbling beneath her teasing tone as she shook her head.

Stepping closer into her space, you wrapped an arm around her waist, bringing your face an inch from hers. “And you secretly love it.”

“Not so secret,” she murmured, lips brushing against yours before you both melted into a gentle kiss, her arms wrapping around your neck while yours slid up her back, leaning into each other for a moment until Yelena’s voice broke through.

“Ugh, get a room!” she groaned.

You both smiled into the kiss and then pulled away just enough to meet her gaze. “But it’s so much more fun to annoy you,” you quipped.

You heard Kate let out a laugh from behind you as Yelena dramatically rolled her eyes.

Natasha slid her arms down to turn around, her back resting against your front. She laid her head onto your shoulder, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. “That’s a really good idea though,” she noted, her eyes glimmering with a mix of mischief and affection.

“So it is,” you replied, playfully giving her a gentle nudge toward the hallway. You locked hands, and Natasha quickly hip-checked Yelena as you walked by.

“You two are so gross,” Yelena complained, covering her face with her hand in mock disgust.

“Just fulfilling your request, sestra,” Natasha shot back with a wink as you reached the elevator hallway, waving goodbye. “Goodnight, ladies!”

As you waited momentarily in front of the elevator, you tuned in, listening intently. For the average person, voices would have to be raised to be heard from here, but your enhanced abilities allowed you to pick up their words with clarity.

“You have to admit, they’re pretty cute.”

“That’s my sister, Kate.”

“Yeah, but they’re usually so serious and business-like, you know? It’s refreshing to see them happy and just like real—kinda proof that you can juggle both lives.”

Good luck, kid, you thought, as the elevator door opens, 

“They talking about us?”

“Oh yeah… Kate thinks we are cute and thus Yelena is a little miffed”

“Well that sounds about right”

You enter the elevator and lean against the wall, Natasha beside you, hands still entwined. 

“Please tell me your sister knows how absolutely head over combat boots that woman is for her?”

“I wish I could say yes, but I feel like she may still be mostly oblivious. I still can’t get her to really admit her own feelings—stubborn as a mule.” 

“Well, I guess that shouldn’t surprise me… It runs in the family after all.”

“I was the one who kissed you first, remember?”

“Oh, I do.” As the elevator doors slid open, you stepped away, your hand slipping out of hers as you walked backward, your grin playful. “But kissing isn’t quite the same as feelings,” you teased, turning to walk down the hallway.

“I’m pretty sure I can make you feel some things with my kisses,” she chimed from behind you.

She quickly caught up, wrapping her arms around your waist and placing tender kisses along your neck as you opened the door. With a gentle shove, she pushed you inside, laughter following as the door clicked shut behind you.

My works Now on A03! https://archiveofourown.org/works/63244339

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Monster of Wolf Woods | Part One

Summary: a love story of a muggle and a werewolf

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Remus hating on himself

A/N: this is the start of a two part (possibly more if people like it) story to please the David Thewlis hyperfixation my brain currently has. Hope you enjoy! as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

- - - - -

I’d never paid much attention to the moon, other than the occasional glance up to admire it’s beauty on a dark night. I’d never stopped to consider the danger that lurked beneath it. That is until I met Remus. 

I work in a small independent book shop in the middle of a small independent village. No one really knows this village exists aside from the people who live here and there are only around 300 or so of us. I was working in the bookshop the day I met Remus. It’s not very often you meet new people in this village when so he walked into the shop I felt my heart jump with excitement. His gentle nature, kind smile and enthusiasm for books caught my attention and I quickly developed a crush on him. I kicked myself for not asking for his number as I watched him leaving the shop, thinking I’d blown my opportunity and that I’d never see him again. 

To my surprise (and relief) he came back the following day. And the day after that. And the day after that. 

He came back to the shop every single day for almost a week, each time buying a new book before talking to me for at least an hour about the book he’d purchased the previous day. It was like we’d started our own little book club. 

“Well lovely chatting you as always. I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said on the Saturday as he turned to leave the shop. 

“Actually we’re closed on Sundays.” I replied regretfully, half considering opening up the shop just for him. 

“Oh” he responded disappointed, thinking for a moment “Well I guess you’ll have to let me take you out somewhere else then.”

“Like, a date…?” I tested, feeling butterflies as I waited for his answer. 

“If that’s okay with you.” He suddenly sounded nervous. “You don't have to of course, if you’d rather not-”

“Remus” I said gently, interrupting him before he had a chance to fully spiral. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

“You- you want to?” The hope in his eyes melted my heart. 

“I’ve wanted to since the day you first walked in.” 

The next day we met up outside the closed bookshop. He brought flasks of coffee and together we walked through the village and shared stories about our lives with each other. He told me about how he spent the past year working as a teacher at some private boarding school but recently moved back to the area after having enough of dealing with ‘rich overbearing parents’. I told him how I’d moved to this village 6 months ago after splitting with my ex, opening up to him about the awful way I’d been treated which explained why I wanted a fresh start in the middle of nowhere. 

We’d become so distracted in our conversation that I didn’t even realise how far we’d walked until we arrived at the edge of the forest. 

“Everything alright dear?” He asked, noticing my hesitation to follow him. 

“This is the entrance to wolf woods.” I say and he nods. “Did you mean to bring us here?” 

The forest wasn’t really called wolf woods, that’s just the nickname given to it by the locals because if you listen into the night when the moon is full you can almost hear the sounds of a wolf howling. No one had ever actually seen a wolf, but the villagers still would never get near just in case. 

“I must admit I got so caught up listening to your story I lost track of where we were going. I didn’t mean to bring you so close to the forest. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Oh no, I’m not scared!” I say with a smile and he looks at me confused.

“But the wolf lives here.”

“I’ve read a lot about them and I think they’re beautiful and misunderstood creatures. I’m more concerned that if there is a wolf living in these woods then two humans walking into its home might startle it and make it feel unsafe.” When I looked at Remus I swear I saw a tear in his eye. “Are you okay?” 

“I’ve never heard mugg-” he corrected himself “person talk so kindly about a monster before.” 

“I don't believe they’re monsters. But even if they were, everyone deserves kindness…” I say, taking a step to close the gap between us.” …everyone deserves love.” 

Remus suddenly leant down and kissed me, taking my breath away, before pulling away flustered. 

“Sorry, I don't know what came over me-” he starts breathlessly but I grab his face and pull him in for another kiss, this one lasting longer as we both melted into each other. 

That was the first of many kisses I shared with Remus as we started seeing each other. As the months went by I noticed a trend in his behaviour. Once a month he’d be gone for a couple of days on what he jokingly referred to as a ‘super secret work trip’ but would never actually go into detail about. When I tried to ask him more about these trips or even what he did for work the conversation would always go elsewhere. He would often come back from these trips with cuts and bruises that he’d try to hide from me. His energy would be low and though he’d try to put on a happy face I could tell he was down. 

After one particularly bad trip where he came back using a cane to help him walk I sat him down on the sofa in my living room and pulled up a chair to sit in front of him as I asked him for the truth. He gave me a sad smile, and started to explain everything. I sat and listened, occasionally asking a question to help me understand, while he told me about magic and wizards and muggles and Hogwarts. It amazed me to find out this whole other world existed right under my nose. It also terrified me a little to learn of someone he referred to as ‘the dark lord’, but Remus assured me that we’d be safe. 

“So… you're a wizard?” I asked and he nodded. I smiled. “That’s pretty cool.” 

“There’s more.” His face turned serious as he took my hand. He breathed deep and I could tell he was afraid of what he had to say next. “There is a wolf that lives in the forest. But he’s not beautiful like the wolves you’ve read about in your nature books. This one really is a monster. And I’m really hoping that you meant it when you said everyone deserves love because-” he stopped, trying to calm himself with another deep breath. “Y/N…”

“It’s okay.” I said, squeezing his hand tighter as he started to cry. 

“It’s not okay, it’s not!” He cries and I placed one hand on his cheek, wiping tears away with my thumb as they rolled down past his scars. “I can’t-”

“You can Remus. Nothing that you say will change the way I feel about you.” I gently guided his face so I can look into his eyes. “Look at me. You can tell me.” 

He removed my hand from his face, placing it with my other hand in his. 

“I’m a werewolf.” He says, looking down to fix his gaze on where our hands are intwined. “When I was a child a vicious werewolf broke into our family home and attacked me while I was sleeping and ever since then I have been cursed to transform into something I hate every full moon. There’s a bunker near my cottage in the forest that I lock myself in but the wolf is loud and sometimes the villagers hear me. Thankfully no one has ever been brave enough to go searching the woods and hopefully they never will. For years I’ve been planting ideas in the muggle’s heads. The right words said to the right people at the right time and before you know it the whole village has been warned to stay clear of the dangerous creature in the forest. They have no idea its really me. I am the monster of wolf woods.”

My hands slip from Remus’ as he leans back in his chair, letting out a breath as he watches me with worry in his eyes, trying to work out what I’m thinking. Silently I stand up from my seat and Remus’ worry turns to panic. 

“I understand completely if this is too much, if you don't want to see me-” he starts babbling but I cut him off as I sit down on the sofa next to him, putting my arm around him to pull him into a tight hug. I feel how much he is shaking and he starts to cry with relief. 

“I can’t lie, that was a lot to take in. But it doesn’t change anything. You’re still Remus, the gentle natured book nerd with a kind smile who came into my shop and stole my heart all those months ago.” I say, leaning away to look in his face. “My Remus.” 

“I don't deserve you.” He whispers with a sad smile. 

“Yes you do.” I smile back at him as I kiss him on the nose, causing us both to start giggling. 

“Thank you.” he says once we’ve composed ourselves. “My Y/N. I really do love you.” 

“I really do love you too.” 

*part two coming soon*

[havendance]

I have still not gotten around to reading the valentine's story that everyone's been talking about, but Scilly's post did get some of the juices going in my brain so take a little unedited ficlet about them running into each other again.

--

Flour... flour... where did they keep the flour in this store? Tim stared intently at the shelves in front of him. "Pick up some fresh flour after patrol," Bernard had said because apparently he couldn't just leave the flour in the paper bag it came in in the cabinets of the houseboat. Surely this little 24 hr place had to have some. If they didn't... maybe it was just on the other side.

He rounded the corner only to walk straight into someone else.

"Sorry! I should've— wait, Ari?"

Across from him, his one time girlfriend blinked in recognition. "Tim?" She laughed. "Wow, it's really been a minute, hasn't it? How have things been going with you?"

He shrugged. "Oh, you know, the usual." He (finally!) spotted the flour behind her and ducked around to grab it. "Just grabbing a couple things."

"Same," she said, holding up the half gallon of milk in her hand. "It really is wild seeing you again. And not just on the news."

Tim scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I really did have a wild few years there, didn't I?"

"I'll say! Getting stuck in No Man's Land, taking over Wayne Enterprises—I'd see the news a be like 'I used to date that guy.'"

"I didn't really take over Wayne Enterprises, it was more like a figurehead thing."

"Still, it was wild to see."

They both started to make their way to the checkout.

"I'm sorry, by the way," Ari said, "about your dad."

The words hit him in a way they hadn't in a long while. "I—" he let out a breath. "Thanks. It's been a while."

"It's been years since my dad died and I still miss him. When I saw on that you'd been adopted by Bruce Wayne, I thought about, like, reaching out and offering my condolences," she shrugged. "I just kept overthinking it and worrying that it'd weird."

"I was... going through a lot then," Tim said. "I don't know if I would've responded, if you did. I appreciate the thought though."

"You always were bad at making time for me," she teased.

"I was a real idiot then," he said with a sheepish grin.

Ari reached out and tapped him on the chest. "That you were. We both were, first love and all that."

There was a lull in their conversation as they both paid for their items.

"Look," Tim said once they were outside. "Can I walk you home?"

"Flirting? I do have a boyfriend."

"What? No! I just uh, you know, Gotham, at night. It's important to stay safe," he finished lamely.

She smiled. "I was teasing you. I'm still living across town with my aunt and uncle, but you can walk me to my subway stop."

"Okay."

They'd been walking for a minute when Tim said "I have one too. A boyfriend I mean."

"Oh," she sounded surprised. "I mean, good for you and all."

"Yeah, I just—what we had. I still cared about you, it didn't fall apart because of that. It was just—" He was fumbling over his words again.

"We were fourteen," Ari said.

"We were fourteen," Tim agreed.

They walked a little farther in silence. Ari said "You're actually the second ex I've had to come out to me."

"Really?"

"My first college boyfriend—I dated him for about a month before he told me he was actually gay and broke up with me."

"Sounds awkward."

"It was. So don't worry, you're doing better than that."

"Thanks, I guess.

Ari laughed.

"So college," Tim said, hurrying to change the subject. "Are you still doing fashion design?"

"History, actually. I want to go to law school. Make a difference."

"I'm sure you'll do great."

"What about you?" she asked. "Are you at college?"

"Uh, not really. Don't think it's for me. I've got a place on the Marina. I've just been hanging out there recently."

"With the boyfriend?"

"With the boyfriend," he admitted.

They'd reached the subway stop. Ari paused at the top of the stairs. "It was nice seeing you again. If you're ever in Little Odessa, be sure to swing by my Uncle's restaurant and say hi."

"Will do, and if you're ever around the Marina, I know some good seafood places."

She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. See you around."

"See you around." He waved goodbye as she left and then went his own way into the night.

[mostowa]

7x07 Corner of Random Thoughts

This is my favorite ep of the whole season so far. We finally got emotional episode, which, I think some people forgot (writers especially), Rookie is good at. I love the weight to the storylines they bring and I missed that in the beginning of S7. This is why Corner of Random Thoughts will be long and sectioned (not so random) for some clarity.

TIM IN THERAPY/FLASHBACKS

When we got sneak peek with Lucy's flashbacks @theflyindutchwoman wondered if we get Tim's perspective, cause in 5x01 we didn't. And I'm so really glad we did. It feels so much more mutual than 5x01, it feels so much more vulnerable. And I'm here for it.

I don't necessarily agree with the fact that thing's been "solid" between them recently. But this supports my idea (which I don't really like) that "small doses" was at least some part of The Talk we've been waiting for and that with it they checked boxes of kindness and appreciation without showing them to us afterwards. This is also what I think is happening with an ensemble cast shows and writing whole arcs weirdly, when you have to divide screentime.

I love how you can see Tim's gears changin when the terapist calls him on I language. I love how therapist says "IF it was a mistake" and then makes a small head shake after. Those small things give me much more hope than I'm willing to admit.

I really think Tim might've been… hopeful (???) morning after, but Lucy's bolting scared him so much he is now convinced he made a mistake. He is doubting his judgment because of how she reacts. I think this dynamics is really perfectly depicted in @cfr749's "Beneath Your Beautiful" and they are both in this dance now.

Lucy's Flashbacks are a direct parallel to 5x01 but they also show how she is determined to compartmentalise this. There is no emotional comentary here other than her denying this. We're back to "ex-sex" thinking. AT THE SAFE HOUSE

Tim/Nolan might be my favorite new dynamics in this series. Like, seriously, they are both clueless about emotions and letting go of control but in a completely different ways. Tim closes up and toughens up and Nolan treats everyone as they are little kids. Seeing this mushed together is joy.

"Hard to sleep when she's not there" and shot to Tim is pure emotional gold mine. Makes me want to write a fanfic about those sleepless nights…

I love how reluctant Tim is towards being "emotionally unavailable" like it's still some crap he'll distance himself from. :D It's giving me a heavy reformed!Tim vibes and I'm here for that.

I also love how the talk starts with Nolan asking Tim about Isabel and ends with Tim reflecting on Lucy. This means that he thinks about her all the time and that she is more important to him than Isabel. I mean, this is obvious, but it's also nice to note that in a full-circle moment like that.

Eric kills the talk. The pain is there. The vulnerability is there. The "small doses" are there. It's the same pain that was in 6x10 and I'm here for him and Lucy to cure this pain BY GETTING BACK TOGETHER ALREADY. Lol.

IT'S ALSO THE FIRST TIME THAT WE SEE PROGRESS TIM'S MADE. He reflects on how he gave up, how he didn't fight. He's obviously not there yet with reasoning behind it. But he'll get there.

In the meantime Lucy's still in denial and we haven't gotten any one scene this episode on her doing any reflection about her situation with Tim at all. xd

The simple fact that Lucy called for Tim with Seth situation is huge for me. I mean, we all know that they trust each other professionally 100%. I just think in any universe it would be normal for them to have any kind of doubt whether they should bother another one in such situation. The way they showed there wasn't any doubt at all is huge for me. It's like I love it. Even though it's nonevent.

I think it's also the fact of how close they remain despite everything they have been through in their relationship. It's absolutely amazing and I feel this strongly this season (for some reason). Maybe it's written that way to divide their personal and professional spheres, but maybe it's just my perception of this. OTHER STUFF

James and Nyla are the most adult relationship in The Rookie. Change my mind after watching this scene in interrogation room, because James is the wise man proposing for them to face the truth and to deal with consequences regardless of the outcome.

I love Celina this season so much. I'm waiting for more storylines and more depth in her.

I love how much depth Bailey got this episode. It's amazing how well they shifted perspective from badass-almighty Bailey to badass-broken-protective Bailey. I love it so much more.

Like, Miles has a really big, texan heart. And I missed this kind of heart in The Rookie. PROMO I am pretty confident that we are getting Tim and Lucy in trouble because of Seth. There is no other reason they would veil this with "putting a two of their own at risk" in the synopsis.

[pupmkincake2000]

I noticed that when you have a romance with Astarion (and probably when there is no romance, he still talks about it), he admits that in the first dacade of his slavery he found a darling boy and that he was in love so much that he was ready to run away from Cazador, instead of hurting that sweet man and when he got caught he was punished by being locked in a coffin for a whole year.

So why, when we talk about relationships after Act 2 (while having the highest level of approval), he says that he doesn’t know who we are to each other? He says the player, Gale, in my case, is not a target, not a victim, not a one-night stand but he still cannot name the feeling or a form of their relationships. And this is a little surprising and sad, and a little disappointing.

Astarion knows exactly what love is and what it means to make sacrifices for the sake of someone you love, just like Gale (by the way, here is another parallel between them), only Gale was punished quite recently, while Astarion was punished quite a long time ago. So why can’t he say what kid of relationships we are having if he knows the taste of love?

I can imagine how offensive it would be for Gale to hear such an answer over and over again. After all, Gale also knows what love is and what it means to be punished for loving someone so deeply and doing forbidden things for the sake of this love. I think it would be very painful for Gale and I would like him and Astarion to discuss this topic one day. And so that Astarion understands how much he hurt Gale with such words. Not being able to say what they are to each other even knowing pretty well what love is, I mean.

Before, I didn’t really care about this, I thought Astarion never fell in love, but it turned out he did. Of course, love and infatuation are different concepts, but still.

I also miss the dialogue between Astarion and Gale after the visit to Mystra. Like, you’re lovers, wouldn’t Astarion be interested in asking what this ex wanted from Gale and what they talked about?

[ist4rgirlo]

DO TRAITOR BY OLIVIA RODRIGO WITH CONRAD

──────── 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 - 𝐜.𝐟

ONESHOT !

summary: you and conrad recently broke up and you just saw him on a date with your best friend.

warning: angst, mentions of break up, crying (LMK IF I MISSED ANYTHING)

It's been two weeks since me and Conrad broke up. It wasn't a good breakup. It was a breakup that started with a fight and ended with parting ways. I wouldn't say that I was the best girlfriend, but I was there for him when no one else was.

One day, everything just changed. He wouldn't look at me the same anymore, touch me the same. I thought that it was just that he was having a hard time because of his mom's passing. I did everything to understand him, I became his rock, someone he could lean on.

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

I just ignored it and tried to act like everything was still the same. But I could feel the distance growing between us. He was always on his phone whenever we would go out, He wouldn't talk to me like he used to and avoided my questions. I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't want to admit it. I was scared to confront him and find out what was really going on.

Ain't it funny

All the twisted games

All the questions you used to avoid?

That's where it all started. I confronted him. It started with him saying that he was going to change, for the better, for us.

Ain't it funny?

Remember I brought it up

And you told me I was paranoid

Then it became to little fights because he couldn't keep his promise, he told me I was paranoid, I tried to talk to him, I asked him to be truthful and honest with me, but he kept denying and avoiding it.

We argued until it became too much, and I decided to end it. I told him that I was done with it and that I had enough. He just looked at me and walked away. He just turned and didn't even try to fight for what we had. That was the last time I saw him.

Ever since that breakup, his best friend Steven has been helping me to move on. Even before me and Conrad started dating, me and Steven were already friends, he was even the one who introduced us to each other.

Steven has been a source of comfort and support throughout the entire process. Even during me and Conrad's dating phase, Steven was there for me, no matter how bad things got.

He was the type to not always tolerate his bestfriend's actions. He was someone who always defended me from Conrad.

I asked him to accompany me to do groceries, since this was probably the first time I went out after the break up. I didn't know If I could do it myself alone so Steven suggested that he should come with me.

I thought that I was somehow okay now, that some wounds had healed already not until I saw Conrad, my ex-boyfriend, in the store. I froze and couldn't say a word. I thought he was alone, just doing his normal errands not until a girl came up to him, clinging on his arm. I moved a little just to see that girl's face.

You'd talk to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn't matter

My heart dropped. It was my best friend, the one who knew everything.

She was also the one who told me that I didn't deserve how Conrad was treating me, but now here she is with him. I watched in disbelief as they laughed and walked away, leaving me standing there with my heart in my hands.

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor

I felt betrayed, I felt angry, I felt stupid. So many questions popped into my head like why was it so fast? why me? why my best friend? I wanted answers, but I knew I wasn't going to get them. I felt like I had been played and I was so hurt. I was determined to never trust anyone again.

I just stood there until I felt Steven's hand on my back, I looked up to him. He saw everything, his eyes filled with anger, anger for his best friend. He held me close and said, “I’m sorry.” I knew he wanted to help me, but there was nothing he could do.

I looked away, ashamed. I couldn't bear to see his pity, so I stepped away from him and said, “It's okay, I'll be fine.” He nodded sadly and we both knew I was lying. I turned to go, but he grabbed my hand and said, “Wait.” He held my gaze and said, “You don't have to do this alone.” His words were like a lifeline, and I finally allowed myself to break down and cry.

He held me tightly until I stopped sobbing, then let go. He looked at me with a gentle expression and said, "Remember, I'm here for you." I felt a warmth inside me that I hadn't felt for a long time - the feeling of being understood and supported. I nodded and smiled, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. He was just glad that he was there for me, he would do everything just to pick those pieces of my heart and bring them again all together.

[nnuanana]

It is very hard to let go of a connection that is a deep one.

It grew, even if one sided. It has been nourished, even if one sided. There's been a sacrifice, even if one sided. Engagement, even if one sided.

What sets our way of loving is our dedication right in the face of adversity.

If you haven't guessed it yet, I'm talking about Anuradha.

The epitomy of devotion. And obsessive stuff xoxo (for the sake of this post treat me as your best friend.. on steroids)

Deep need to understand another person. A person that not always is even worthy of such connection.

I'm talking for solely from my POV. Hopefully it's relatable :)

What happens when Anu native start pouring their love and devotion into a person that doesn't have the capacity to receive such amount of ourselves?

What happens when we notice our depth could never be matched, not like "reciprocated" but even received? And therefore recognized?

A hole of loneliness inside our hearts starts to form. We then start running, either to and from the person of said interest. This also can happen simultaneously. Lol

I recently experienced my first breakup.

I'm reflecting on it during these retrogrades and healing a lot.

But I do struggle at times, and at other times i feel so light and free. It's truly groundbreaking for me. Something I have never experienced before nor anticipated, but oh well, here we go.

It brings back a quote my bestie used to say a lot when she was moving on after her breakup and it was quite popular at the time. It definitely still is very true but now I'm seeing it differently than before.

"Healing isn't linear" I was cringing but okay I admit.. it's damn true.

I feel like on a rollercoaster!

But staying on topic of Anuradha - and my behaviour in that relationship.

One may ask why was I doing so much to a person (who was in big need) but then degraded me to their level? Which was very low.. Only to then deciding to throw me away like a trash :)

Believe or not it very much reminds me of the dynamic between Hailey and JB. (Interesting fact or maybe my observation and knowledge is that Sel and Hailey could be more compatible with each other than with JB but this irony is for a different story, what is also interesting is that it's a karmic pattern).

Basically, I see so much of what she's doing that is sometimes kind of misunderstood.. I feel sorry for her. I'm aware she wanted to be in this place and I mean good for her? I mean she's not miserable but that doesn't mean she's not mistaken about it..

Hailey is my age with the same sun nakshatra and like honestly every time I see her treating him so above herself (i see myself and my ex) I'm thinking girl, stop! every time she expresses any of her needs towards him.. I cringe, because this boy isn't getting it. Or maybe he actually gets it but treats like a free service. It happens and it's no one's fault but Anu native that lost touch with themselves. Welp. To be looked after and protected like she does him? Completely out of.. okay, so how it looks like from my pov is: I'm sure she feels and knows his insecurities (everything at this point) and because of that is trying to literally cover him with herself every time. Even tho she knows and is fully aware of the consequences. Still, she gets ignored despite all her efforts.

It's like the more we try to prove we can fight for our person the stronger we appear but the irony here is, this fight is happening precisely with our person.

If only she'd (and me) realise that in time. What a waste, truly. But you best believe when I tell you she made a choice, and me too. And then I changed it.

Ultimately, I can't judge. That's what I was doing as well. A bit less dramatically, I was also never much of a stalker (lol) bc I'm more of an unaware and naive airhead, but still.

Another thing is that in all honesty this obsession has root in a genuine and pure feelings of devotion. So if people want to call it that, let it be.

We've been educated now and we know there's a fine line between the two. If this has any connection with Anuradha then newsflash, it's just what is gonna happen.

Anu natives are protective like that.Even to our own demise.. well, maybe it gets better after 30 we'll see.

Because when it comes to people we decide on, it can't be stopped. It rarely is. Leave it until it burns out. Every flame has it's end when neglected.

I could also say that from my experience I just wanted to prove a point. Oh, so very much.

What is also not helping AT ALL is this heart shattering and overwhelming jealousy that's the size of our loyalty. (Might I repeat myself, pretty big stuff)

As much as it burns the heart inside, in some sad cases (karmic especially) it binds our hearts even strongly to the abuse. Until..

What ultimately helped me was the person expressing the want to break up, and I've lifted the idea up entirely. Let's do this. (That was my pride awakening)

At first I was so offended. And then what surprised me was the good old "after all this that I did for you?" I never thought I would say that kinda cliche thing but oh well. You live you learn you experience. And also yes, I've done a lot, I've completely forgotten about myself for you etc. Shame but whatever.

Anuradha mentality is like "I'll do anything for you"

And in the most noble way it appears to a person like brining heaven to earth or making the earth heaven. When it is a healthy relationship then chances of such events are more likely. But in the worst case when both are unevolved it appears almost like y'all on a freak show; serving with no dignity or respect towards oneself. And at this point I think we've reached the breaking point. Or me. Subconsciously I was indeed done with this relationship.

So now in my last act I'll do it "for you" and after we can take our leave.

I just want you to be happy, even if it's not with me.

Another cliche line is in my head now

"I needed to lose you to love me, yehh"

How it's all making sense now haha

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

“Finally, I can admit that Brimothy hang out together, yet you seem to think that the solo era was just a blip for TK. "

Oh so you are admitting now that “brimothy” hang out together because I swear few posts ago you sounded like it was preposterous for two bandmates to get a simple haircut together up to the point where you openly claim that what keeps you going is knowing that jm is closer to someone else than he is to jk. That is the biggest proof of your insecurity and I fail to see why you would feel so insecure if you were sure about ur ship.

The solo era wasn’t just a blip for tk of course. It was two friends finally making time to intentionally spend together after years of not doing so which they themselves said and which we all saw. Ask a tkkr for evidence of tk hanging out b4 chapter two and they boldly tell you about sounds from each others lives or they show you shadows. It’s so funny to me how tkkrs want to cling to what Jikook said on AYS and think that debunks them when you ship two people who have mentioned being distant. All those years how many times did you see tk together? Even when the members went to get vaccinated for COVID, jk was with Jimin for crying out loud. Every single time we heard about what their lives were like behind the camera, jk was with Jimin. Jin calls Jimin while on Live and guess who he is with, Jk. Hobi gets to talk about members sleeping habits, guess who he pairs together and says they both stay up late together? Jikook. Ex bighit staff are asked which members are the closest, guess who they talk about? Jimin and Jungkook saying they have never seen them apart. Jk talks about the members he saw on their first break. Guess who he mentions? Jimin not Tae. Even during the pandemic when all the members were separated guess who we still heard were together at 4am, 3am, having late night drinks? Visiting restaurants at midnight together? Jikook. Tae left the dorm in 2019 guess when jk left? Only when jimin was leaving. The solo era has caused you lot to forget everything we all witnessed all these years. Y’all clung to atomix and twisted it into something it wasn’t because that was all you had for years. If the solo era is taken away from your equation honestly what do you have because the past doesn’t sell your case in anyway.

So no the solo era wasn’t a blip for tk but that period of months doesn’t erase everything that happened before which proved that Taekook were not together. They couldn’t have been together yet Jungkook and Jimin were joined at the hip especially seeing how y’all foam in the mouth thinking abt Taekook hangouts in chapter two. Hangouts where Jk ended up abandoned at ski resort mind you. Y’all take a little moment you have and make it into something it isn’t. You get a little factual information with little to no context and you add all the context you want which is why you ended up looking like clowns after Atomix was debunked. Saying all these but I am yet to see a single tkkr explain why Jk spent almost all his time with Jimin not Tae all these years or are you going to say he didn’t? Please do so I can provide endless evidence of him being with Jimin in moments when he should have been with someone he was dating.

Waffle Waffle Waffle… I swear some of you (you know who you are) love the sound of your own voice/words. Please try to be more succinct, it will make me more inclined to respond.

Clearly you've never read my blog… I have consistently said that JK is friends with Brian and I know he occasionally spends time with him, but…

It's not as much as most on the other side believe and in fact, by his own lips Brian has spent more time with other members (RM & Suga mostly) in recent years than he has JK. But Brimothys will never admit that because it's clear they think that JK and Brian live inside each other arseholes… sorry, that JK lives in Brian's arsehole.

As for Taekook (again if you had read my blog which you clearly haven't) I have also stated that they spend time apart, but it's also very clear from everything they say and other members have said, is that they do spend a shitload of time together inside and outside of group activities, even in the so called wilderness years, of which there is plenty of evidence to back this up. You just choose to stay blinkered.

Now whether that means they're in a relationship or not is not the point, the point is they do spend time together, you and your ilk CHOOSE to ignore that.

[pray4saint]

crush culture

masterlist & descrip. pg-13. 13+. fem!reader. swearing. toxic, manipulative, near abusive ex mention. use of 'y/n'. lyrics are out of order. crush denial. 1.5k words. in reponse to @ghostworrjed 's ask bc i accidentally wrote it wrong & posted it lmao.

a/n. STOP IT ILY. first fic for this event is a conan gray song n im living for it | the last paragraph was rushed bc the song was starting to give me a headache

crush culture by conan gray | this is apart of my 500 follower event!

”i'm done! okay, i'm done! are you fucking happy now?!” you'd screamed, reaching for your keys off the dresser. your boyfriend stared up at you from the couch, a dark look in his eye that made your hands tremble in just the slightest. behind you, you'd already started to turn the door handle and pull it, opening the door, still facing him. ”yeah, i am. you know why?” you didn't want to say anything, you wanted to leave. but as if his words were a drug, you responded, ”why?” breathless, your eyes giving way to your fear. the man sat far from you smiled, the same smile that always told you things weren't going to end well. ”because you'll come back. because we love each other.” despite how he meant it sound, you could still feel the venom spat from his mouth. you could feel it tingle against your skin, you could feel it in the air as you slammed the door shut, anger and sadness fighting to stay behind your eyes, you could feel it on the hoodie you were wearing that was actually his.

you'd gone to stay with your cousin that night. she doubled as one of your best friends and stayed up with you the entire night. she wasn't amazing at providing comfort, but she let your cry it out on her couch, she let you sleep in her guest bedroom, she took the next morning off work to stay with you. she also convinced you, along with the ill intent behind your boyfriend's words, not to go back to him.

”y/n, my dearest cousin and best friend in the entire world, can i offer you a piece of advice?” she'd asked, pulling english muffins from the toaster onto her plate. for the first time since you'd sat down to eat, you looked up from your plate. ”yeah, go ahead.”

”why don't you try.. not dating, just for a few months?” you knew to take everything your cousin said with a grain of salt, but maybe she was onto something. every time you'd gotten out of a major relationship, there was a cycle that you never strayed from, and that was; breakup, then have a rebound, then go on two dates with different people, and then dive into another long-term relationship. ”uh, yeah, i'll give it a try.” it came out more sarcastic than you meant it, but by the smile you got from her, you assumed she could tell.

by the time you'd left her house that day and were on your way back to your own place, you'd decided to take the time off from dating.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

yes, it had been a few months since your breakup with your ex. yes, your ex was still texting you, every other goddamned day.

after news of your breakup had travelled throughout your friend group and your cousin's friend group, it was a mutual friend – one neither of you had heard from in a long time – who reached out. sapnap. and recently, you'd been spending more time than you would've liked to admit with him. it slowly went from one coffee out to cheer you up a few weeks after the breakup, which mind you, took a couple of cancellations to get set up, to you texting him whenever you wanted to go out and get away from everything. the next month you were telling him what your ex would say in the texts he'd send you.

in your mind, there were no sirens, no flags raised at how much time you'd spent talking to sapnap. even when he started coming over to your place or you started going over to his place, you didn't think anything of it, because at least you had him to distract you.

i'm not falling for you, 'cause this baby is love-proof.

yes, you'd been spending a lot of time with your friend sapnap. yes, he'd started to become apart of your daily routine to talk to. yes, your cousin had raised concerns over your weekly dinner together. no, you didn't feel anything for him. you didn't feel much of anything for anyone. but when you were with him, much like when you were with your cousin or your other friends, you were smiling and laughing. you were happy.

”do you want me to order something in tonight?” sapnap asked from your couch, head hung over the back to look at you in your kitchen. lifting your head up from your fridge for the fifth time in the hour with a sigh, your head turns to him. ”yeah. can we do ubereats this time? the last time i doordashed, they forgot my sauce.” you pushed the door shut lazily, taking steps back toward the living room as he pulled his head back over the edge and opened the ubereats app on his phone. ”whatever you want.” he offhandedly smiled at you and you've could've sworn your heart stopped for a split second.

oh. shit.

the whole rest of that day you went on as if you weren't on high alert. you couldn't have a crush, not yet, because your six months weren't quite up yet. by the time it was time for him to go, you were internally panicking. just don't see him for a week, that'll fix it, that's what you told yourself.

and initially, it did work. you told sapnap you were sick, and your cousin brought your groceries over that week and all was well in the world. and when you did hang out with him next? there was no heart stopping of any kind, and so you resumed your hanging out with him how you had been for months.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

”what do you think of this?” you'd asked him over facetime, stepping back from the camera to show off the new hoodie and jeans you'd bought that you thought paired really well together. ”i like it, but i think it would look better on my floor.” your heart stopped, but not in the same way as before. this time it was from how outrageous this sounded to you.

”excuse me?” you asked, picking up the phone to bring it up really close to your face. ”you heard me.” he replied simply. nonchalantly.

oh no, don't look in their eyes, 'cause that's how they get you, kiss you then forget you

your cousin stared at you, wide-eyed, jaw slack at your story. ”listen, y/n–” you cut her off. ”i know what you're gonna say, and no, i don't have a crush on him. he's just messing with me, obviously. anyways, i can't wait to be done with these months of being crush-free.”

after giving you a minute to catch your breath, your cousin speaks again. ”so what i was gonna ask, y/n is, are you fighting it? you know, having a crush?” she asked, pulling her mug of tea back up to her lips. she took a long sip in while you mulled over her words. ”no, i don't think so.” your words were flat out simple, but the way your fingertips tapped into your palm gave away your lie. ”uh huh, sure. let me know how this whole thing with sap goes.” she responds, taking another sip from her mug.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

ok, maybe your cousin was right. maybe you were fighting having a crush. maybe you were fighting having a crush on sapnap.

crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out, spill my guts out, spill my guts out

every time you went out on drives later into the night, every time you called him at midnight and he picked up, every time he texted you about something interesting that'd happened to him throughout his day, every time he flirted with you, you felt heart your stop. you also felt it flip and spin and your stomach twirl and flutter as if butterflies were locked inside.

still, you didn't do anything about it, because you couldn't. you made a promise to yourself, and you wanted to see it through.

what you didn't know, was that sapnap was feeling very similarly. he'd started flirting with you moments before he realises he had a crush on you. but he couldn't do anything about it, because you told him a week later about your deal with yourself, and he knew how badly you wanted to get through it. so, of course, he wanted that for you too.

in the mean time, he flirted but would stop himself short of anything truly meaningful and he would avoid going for the hugs he oh so badly wanted, and he would take advantage of every minute he had with you. oh, what a shame it was to feel so much, and repress it for your sake and for the sake of the person you felt so much for.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

to say he was happy when you'd called him at 12:01am one night to tell him that you were officially through your six months was an understatement. to say he was ecstatic when you told him how you felt about him moments afterwards was an understatement.

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[imogenleewriter]

What are some of your favorite fics? i feel like i trust your opinion so much since what you write is so amazing u have to read something just as loll

I've given rec's to anons before, not sure if you've checked any of those out. Favourites / Famous/Non-Famous / A/B/O / WIPs (although most are complete now!) / Recent Read Recs Pt 1

But, let's do a new recently read and loved list!

I Don't Wanna Face The Music by hereforh / @hereforh Word count: 95,378 (but there is also a pt 2, still a WIP and up to 80k). Rating: E. Uni AU. Strangers to Lovers.

Louis likes to think he's a pretty normal, typical lad. He likes spending nights at the pub with his mates, he loves football and is very close to his family. So when he moves to London for uni, he doesn’t think much will be different.

Until he makes these new friends who are nothing like his mates back home and change his life for the better - and this one boy who messes with his head from the get go and makes him question everything he has ever thought about himself.

Wind beneath my wings by lunarheslwt / @lunarheslwt Word count: 93,131. Rating: E. A/B/O. Strangers to Lovers.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Harry gritted out, wild-eyed. “You should be scared of me.” Louis opened his mouth to speak, to cut him off, to disagree, but Harry was pushing. “I could hurt you.” “You won’t hurt me,” Louis said, simple and assuredly. Calm. “I’m capable of hurting you.” “But you won’t. That’s not who you are, Harry. I trust you,” Louis whispered.

As an omega carer that works at a rescue and rehabilitation centre for feral alphas and omegas, Louis has experienced all sides of ferality. So Harry- a cold, near-mute, non-receptive alpha- was a challenging case for everyone at Phoenix Rehab Centre. Louis wasn’t expecting to feel drawn towards an aloof Harry, or to form a slow bond with him. He certainly was not expecting for his entire life to change in unforeseen ways.

don't want no other shade of blue by padfootyoudog / @louisisworthit Word count: 43,230. Rating: E. A/B/O. Enemies to lovers.

“I know you’re putting on an act,” says Harry after a moment, and Louis scowls when he realises the prince is actually amused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Louis.

“All I’ve heard over the past couple of years are rumours of Prince Louis’ kindness, and generosity, and oh, he’s so handsome I can barely pour his tea without shaking!” says Harry, putting on a silly, high-pitched voice for the last bit. Louis’ scowl deepens. “I would already know if you were just another selfish, bratty omega prince. You can’t fool me, darling, but I admire your efforts.”

“As you said,” Louis grits out, “those are only rumours. I assure you, I’m a terrible person.”

Harmony by nouies / @nouies Word count: 6,175. Rating: E. A/B/O. Enemies to lovers.

Alpha Harry and Omega Louis don’t have the most amicable relationship at work. When they get stuck together in an elevator, Harry scents Louis after nothing else works to bring him out of his panicked state.

Their time trapped in the elevator together brings to light some misunderstandings, and maybe some feelings for each other, too.

We Both Got Nothing To Hide by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 Word count: 43,811. Rating: E. A/B/O. Friends to lovers/mutual pining.

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

//

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

through the jungle through the dark by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf Word count: 12,555. Rating: E. Road Trip, Ex-friends to lovers.

Louis and Harry were best friends, until they weren’t. Five years after they last spoke they’re forced to drive cross-country to visit an injured friend. If they can’t get over the past, it will be a very long week together.

Nailed By Louis by haztobegood / @haztobegood Word count: 6,311 (+part 2: 3,168). Rating: E. Enemies to lovers.

It had started as a joke, just two months earlier. Louis had tried to make recipe from HarrySizzles Instagram account. It looked doable: no strange ingredients, no scary kitchen machinery. Just a simple layered lettuce salad. The result had been catastrophic. His friends had laughed so hard at the disgusting appearance of his salad, and after a few drinks, Louis had been convinced to start his own Instagram to track his food failures.

these bad omens (I look right through them) by likelarry / @likelarryfics Word count: 82,322. Rating: E. Age Difference (all legal). Strangers to lovers.

How on earth does someone his parents' age look so damn hot? All of their other friends look... bland and boring.

But Louis, fucking hell. He's something out of Harry's wettest fucking dreams.

Where Louis is Harry's parents' friend and teaches at Harry's university. Harry can't resist getting a taste.

[basketprutas]

WHAT IF? ✧*。

Somewhere down the road, we actually worked out?

Characters: Diluc & reader (no gender-specific terms were used)

Genre: lovers to exes so angst, tiny comfort if you squint. NOT set in an alternate universe.

Notes: First post, wow :0 Let me know what you think by sending something to my inbox!

Listen to this for maximum angst (Laufey - Promise) (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)

I recently started writing again; click here to learn more about me ^-^

"Then I guess I don't love you anymore." 

Those words hurt. No, they stung. Diluc looked away, closing his eyes as he shook his head.

“So now what? Are we through? That’s it?” You ask, infuriated.

Your dynamic with DIluc has changed over the past few months. From playful bickering to clear, pure annoyance with one another. This fight wasn’t like the other fights you two would have. It was like everything changed so quickly, even though the both of you loved each other for years now.

But why can’t you move past this fight like the others?

“I guess we are.” He finally says.

Confused and mad, you turn around. “Okay then.” You breathe out, voice shaking. It hurt to let him go like this. Mad at one another, showing little to no care. You didn’t want to cry. Not at this point. So you left. 

He watched you walk away.

He let you walk away.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

The first few months after the breakup was manageable. You quickly disposed of everything that was related to him in your room. You would cry, but it was for drunken nights with the tone-deaf bard, drinking your sorrows away just to be better the next day.

Everything reminded him of you. Things you used to buy for one another, things only the both of you would understand.

But in the month of finally letting go of one another him, you never saw Diluc in the middle of Mondstadt. When you would visit angels share, he was never there. When you had to pass by the winery, he wasn’t there.

Maybe it was for the best that you didn’t see him.

But in the time you did see him again, was when you realized, it was right for him to let you walk away.

Because at that moment, eyes meeting and bodies freezing in place, is when you realize you really don’t love him anymore. At least, not in the way you used to.

You walk up to him and wave your hand. Diluc remained still.

“Hey.” You say, smiling. “It’s been a while.” “It has.” Was all he could reply. His shoulders were tense, eyes blinking at a rapid pace. “How have you been?”

“All good. I’m actually preparing for a trip. I’m traveling to Inazuma and might not come back for a while…” You admit.

His eye widen.

“You’re leaving?”

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

The first few months of the breakup were horrible. He couldn’t accept it. You were gone, and he let it happen. 

He didn’t mean what he said. Did he? His head hurt. He doesn’t know what day it is, but all he knows is that it’s another day without you by his side.

Would all of this be different if he asked you to stay? To come back to him, to take back everything he said?

But in the heat of the moment, he knew he told the truth.

The past few months before the breakup were nothing but horrible fights. 

‘You’re ridiculous.’ he said. ‘And what, overreacting? You could’ve died out there, Diluc!’ You cried out. He sighed. ‘You know what I have to do for my job.’ ‘I know. But it doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.’

Memories like that played back in his mind, making him realize all you did was care for him.  His heart hurt at the thought of it. In one way or another, you did everything to show him you cared, and he only realized it too late.

His nights were sleepless but filled with silent sobs.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

“Yeah. Inazuma looked like a good place to go. I'll definitely miss everyone here.” You say, smiling.

You were smiling when he remained in pain. You were okay, and he wasn’t. The thought crushed Diluc. You, happy without him?

“Stay safe, then.” He replies, trying to gain back his composure. “I will.” 

“And Diluc,” You say before walking past him,

“Thank you. For everything. I wish you nothing but the best.”

You walked away this time on your own accord,

Leaving him back where you left him.

Or more like where he left you, this time in your place.

addtl.

He wrote you a letter. He couldn't take it. Even after a year, he didn't like the underlying emotions he felt after leaving everything unresolved.

You didn't respond.

He wanted to go to you; he needed to.

But with an unanswered letter just sitting on your table, left to collect nothing but dust,

He knew he couldn't.

END.

Notes:

So... how was it? I wrote this in a daze honestly I would write longer ones but I know if I did I wouldn't finish it so here's (to me at least) a short one.

Inbox is always open for suggestions and comments.

-Clara