#my ex and i recently admitted that we still love each other

[2811y]

.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Many Tiny Idiots, Some Irreverent Hotness & an Engagement

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 4 of 16 - OK so Hill has really been trying to pick him up from the beginning? I don’t understand why there’s any doubt around girls at all. He Gay everyone. Why is Tatch (2 Moons Ambassador) the only seme in Thai BL history allowed to actually just say "I don’t date women.”

Why is that so hard?

This show is definitely frustrating me, but I must admit that it’s the one I look forward to the most each week.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 15 - I am now only watching the uncut version, and I gotta say it makes all the difference. Please don’t watch the cut version of this show if you can possibly help it. It’s like cliff's notes of cliff's notes. I love the tiny side couple of tough kid + the dork of the music club. Ah the beach sequence. Condenced WAY DOWN, I see. We lost one of the most iconic lines in all BL but i think everything is improved by how much tighter the plot is in the remake (6 episodes became 1!). So I’m enjoying it. Weirdly, I'm not sure I would be enjoying it, if I hadn’t seen the original.

Is anyone watching this on iQIYI who hasn't seen the original? Just out of curiosity. Tell me how it's going for you, would ya? 

I'm doing a face-off style watch along of this new version versus the original 2014-2015 version.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t entirely get it. They were apart for approximately 11 minutes. I would’ve thought GMMTV would’ve drawn it out for longer and more angst. Smiley face kiss was cute, but the star of this ep was that gorgeous pale blue waffle sweater on Q. What a great color for Leng! 

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I do like that we’re seeing an honest exploration of poverty and hopelessness. I’m not sure how I feel about it inside my BL, tho I’m willing to persavere for this pair.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 12 end - Someone said recently "just imagine what TutorYim could do with an actual script." And you know what? I agree. Because they sure as shit haven’t gotten one yet. And it’s getting quite frustrating. I’m having JaFirst flashbacks. Frankly, 2024 has been a year of unmitigated BL nonsense narratives. And I’m tired of it. I know it’s bog standard for the genre, but it feels like there’s been more than normal faff this year.

Summary 

An incredibly convoluted, disjointed, and badly-paced drama that is about(?) some writers writing a thing and some boys who knew each other when they were kids, lots of pretty sexy times, and not much else. The visuals are gorgeous, the side couples are overly appealing (with little to no screen time), the dubbing and sound is absurdly bad, and the fantasy novel (play within a play) makes no sense whatsoever while also managing to be the show that we all actually wanted to see instead of what we were given. 6/10 

In conclusion, I have no interest in attempting to understand or revisit this show, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it, but if you have nothing better to do…… the sex is good (frankly I have exes that satisfy all the same criteria). So there it is: this show is like a bad but still hot ex.  

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Nice to see Fiat in something again. Namping is very angel baby.  This episode made me think that this pair would do a great Thai remake of Love Tractor, and now that’s pretty much all I want in life. I enjoyed wardrobe in this episode. It looks like we get the same characters next week. Cool. 

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I guess everyone is messy slutty bisexual in this show? Do I care? Not even slightly. BLabies, I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I might have to drop this one.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 13 - I adore it, what a wonderful meet cute. I love a Taiwanese BL that starts with a gratuitous kidnapping, some chasing, and a bit of a fight sequence. We in OLD fashioned territory. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 5 of ? - I continue to enjoy it very much.

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 4 of 7 - Oh! Is the sleazy boss gonna turn out to be actually a sleazy player? That would be an interesting twist.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 3 of 8 - I’m really not a big fan of my pain coming from Korea. I’m getting a whiff of To My Star 2 from this one. And that does not make me happy. I know: high quality high angst yada yada blah blah blah. But also unnecessary pain? No thank you. 

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 12 end - Of course, I love the part where Reese and Orca spoke each other’s languages.

Conclusion

Had this been produced a mere 3 or 4 years ago, I would’ve been quite enamored. But by comparison to what we’ve been getting, this is a lackluster offering. A has-been musician and a much younger composer meet, fall in love, and attempt to rectify his stalled musical career. Cute side couple of a Thai popstar + his Korean manager. Everyone is very fine and it was a fine show. I wasn’t disappointed, but I wasn’t impressed either. 8/10 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 6 of 10 eps - It was a fun little confession and climax, there was crying, and a bridge kiss (been a while) all of this appeals to me even if they are tiny idiots (in the immortal words of @heretherebedork )

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 5-6 of 12 - More tiny idiot boyfriends who don’t realize they’re boyfriends. That’s it, that’s all that’s happening. Ostensibly there’s some kind of murder. But it seems to be acting more like set dressing than plot.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - Supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

In case you missed it

Mew & Tul legit engaged.

Love in the Big City (Korea Viki) 8ep - Vicki dropped them all at once which means I did what I do under such circumstances and skipped to watch the final episode. (I am well aware that this makes me a monster. ) Anygay, that told me that I’m not gonna be bothering to watch the series. Now y'all can tell me how amazing it is and what I’ve missed and blah blah blah. But I’m comfortable with my choice. It’s ICRY 2.0 + HIV. And I’m not willing to play its literatti game. At some point I might watch it on fast-forward for the sex scenes, but I’m not at that point yet. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming:

10/27 Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) 24 eps! - New directing yet another university BL with engineers + their mentees. Based on a Jittirain novel. with a massive cast and massive run time. We will be watching this until APRIL of 2025!

ForceBook playing the same old characters = enemies to lovers tsunder/sunshine jock/nerd thing.

PerthChimonSanta are doing the cohabitation cool guy/dork trope.

JuniorMark are doing popular sunshine meets lonely sad boy (the only interesting pair IMHO).

I think Blue Canvas of Youthful Days has started on iQIYI but I only get it on Viki and that doesn't drop for a few days, plus...... CBL......? Not sure I'll report on this one unless it's really good.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

From Uncle Unknown which is truly terrible but this was so SO funny. I'm still chuckling when I think about it.

The first representation of shipping in a BL that I actually enjoyed. Also Dat's clear approval of being shipped didn't hurt. (Judge)

(lask week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[baphmochii]

Inmate Sal x f!reader ~ PenPal (HC's)

18+/CW: SFW with a dash of NSFW. PenPal turned Romantic. Reader is female and of age (adult).

°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°

This is something I thought of and I'm hoping it doesn't turn out awful. I know that no one's perfect when it comes to writing anything but.. *exhale* here we go.

°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°

✯ (How it Started): You're close friend had told you about inmate penpal's, they would read you their letters of what their penpal would write and it sparked an interest if you wanting to have a penpal.

✯ After getting set up and registering for a penpal, to your luck you manage to get Sal. It started off as (surprisingly) friendly back and forth conversation. It felt as if you were talking with an old friend you haven't seen in years, you would write Sal about your day, what you plans you had, college and other normie things. Sal would write to you about his day and what goes on in prison. (ex: riots, stabbings, etc.) The usual of what happens in a prison.

✯ You would eventually send Sal a photo of yourself after some time of talking and getting to know each other via letters, you slipped your photo in with the most recent letter you sent off to him. Once he got that letter and opened it, seeing your gorgeous face.. something changed in him.

✯ Sal was infatuated with you. Truth behold.. Sal was starting to gain feelings for you, strong romantic and sexual feelings. To admit, there were a few times Sal beat his cock silly to the photo of you, he felt shame afterwards, perverted too. He would imagine that it was you on your hands and knees, sucking his thick cock, taking it as deep as it would go down your tiny throat. The things he wanted to do to you... and you didn't even know it. Yet.

✯ Sal would manage to send a photo of himself to you (making a trade with another inmate), he would also slip his photo into his recent letter he sent off to you. Once you got it, you got to see him. Yes, you've seen mugshots of him before but that was along time ago and this was recent. He was.. handsome, he looked quite mysterious. His prosthetic made you feel.. tingly. You wanted to see more of him, especially his face. That would be asking for too much.

✯ The both you would still have conversations but there would also be.. "interesting" conversation. You would engage first with the explicit talk: "I have to be honest Sal.. I played with myself to your photo. I really want you inside of me, I really.. just want you to break me til' I'm unable to walk or form a sentence." You wrote in one letter. In return, Sal would praise you, call you his "good girl", his. Only his.

. . "You make me go feral inside of my cell. You're all I can think about, day and night, princess. I really want to feel your skin, you look so soft." . .

. . "In the showers when I'm alone. All I can think about is wanting to shower with you, our bare skin pressed together as we get each other clean." . .

. . "How are you doing today, princess? Did you remember to eat today? How were your finals today, too? I hope you did your best on it, you're my smart girl." . .

✯ I forgot to mention: Aside from the usual conversation and sexual talk/teasing of each other. Sal would regularly make sure you were eating, making your bed, brushing your teeth, just overall genuinely caring about you. Sal doesn't see you as his "little fuck toy" he sees you as his princess. His precious girl to care for you, he desperately wishes he wasn't behind bars so he can be with you. Sal has never felt this way in a long time with anyone, he's been through so much. Sal is quite surprised you feel the same way towards him.

✯ Being in love with an inmate and yes, a murderer despite him not having a choice. You loved the man, you shared personal things with him, shared many things with him actually. If only there was a way to get him out, to get him his freedom he deserved so badly.

✯ In your recent letters, you and Sal scheduled a meetup at Nockfell Prison. You two would finally see each other face-to-face for the first time. It made the both your hearts beat and flutter like there was no tomorrow, he had so much to tell you and you, the same. You'd finally be able to see his beautiful face (even if it's his prosthetic). It was a face you'd grow to love.

... Bonus!!🎉 (18+) 🥵

✯ Remember how you and Sal would send each other photos yourselves? Well, yes, the both of you would send naughty pictures to each other too.

✯ Sal loved when you would send photos of your naked body. He yearned to touch your curves, feel your breasts and squeeze them in his large hands. He wanted to feel every inch of you.

✯ I do think at one point Sal had manage to photograph his cock (a dick pic lol) and when you saw the image - THIS MAN IS HUNG. You always wondered how big or what it looked like but, the guy is big (8inches).

✯ Ah sending each other naughty pics was what got both of you through your days. Sal made a private folder (somehow) of all the naked/lewd pics of you, his girl. His little shrine~

°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°°.✯🖤✯.°

Phew! I hope I did good at writing this, this was all off the top of my head but I really wanted to write a penpal turned romantic type of thing, I guess? If you all want more or wanna ask questions (it can be SFW/NSFW questions)

Reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

Inbox is Open - 24/7 - SFW/NSFW Asks/Questions are Allowed ❤️

- Aki✯

[pupmkincake2000]

I noticed that when you have a romance with Astarion (and probably when there is no romance, he still talks about it), he admits that in the first dacade of his slavery he found a darling boy and that he was in love so much that he was ready to run away from Cazador, instead of hurting that sweet man and when he got caught he was punished by being locked in a coffin for a whole year.

So why, when we talk about relationships after Act 2 (while having the highest level of approval), he says that he doesn’t know who we are to each other? He says the player, Gale, in my case, is not a target, not a victim, not a one-night stand but he still cannot name the feeling or a form of their relationships. And this is a little surprising and sad, and a little disappointing.

Astarion knows exactly what love is and what it means to make sacrifices for the sake of someone you love, just like Gale (by the way, here is another parallel between them), only Gale was punished quite recently, while Astarion was punished quite a long time ago. So why can’t he say what kid of relationships we are having if he knows the taste of love?

I can imagine how offensive it would be for Gale to hear such an answer over and over again. After all, Gale also knows what love is and what it means to be punished for loving someone so deeply and doing forbidden things for the sake of this love. I think it would be very painful for Gale and I would like him and Astarion to discuss this topic one day. And so that Astarion understands how much he hurt Gale with such words. Not being able to say what they are to each other even knowing pretty well what love is, I mean.

Before, I didn’t really care about this, I thought Astarion never fell in love, but it turned out he did. Of course, love and infatuation are different concepts, but still.

I also miss the dialogue between Astarion and Gale after the visit to Mystra. Like, you’re lovers, wouldn’t Astarion be interested in asking what this ex wanted from Gale and what they talked about?

[ist4rgirlo]

DO TRAITOR BY OLIVIA RODRIGO WITH CONRAD

──────── 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 - 𝐜.𝐟

ONESHOT !

summary: you and conrad recently broke up and you just saw him on a date with your best friend.

warning: angst, mentions of break up, crying (LMK IF I MISSED ANYTHING)

It's been two weeks since me and Conrad broke up. It wasn't a good breakup. It was a breakup that started with a fight and ended with parting ways. I wouldn't say that I was the best girlfriend, but I was there for him when no one else was.

One day, everything just changed. He wouldn't look at me the same anymore, touch me the same. I thought that it was just that he was having a hard time because of his mom's passing. I did everything to understand him, I became his rock, someone he could lean on.

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

I just ignored it and tried to act like everything was still the same. But I could feel the distance growing between us. He was always on his phone whenever we would go out, He wouldn't talk to me like he used to and avoided my questions. I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't want to admit it. I was scared to confront him and find out what was really going on.

Ain't it funny

All the twisted games

All the questions you used to avoid?

That's where it all started. I confronted him. It started with him saying that he was going to change, for the better, for us.

Ain't it funny?

Remember I brought it up

And you told me I was paranoid

Then it became to little fights because he couldn't keep his promise, he told me I was paranoid, I tried to talk to him, I asked him to be truthful and honest with me, but he kept denying and avoiding it.

We argued until it became too much, and I decided to end it. I told him that I was done with it and that I had enough. He just looked at me and walked away. He just turned and didn't even try to fight for what we had. That was the last time I saw him.

Ever since that breakup, his best friend Steven has been helping me to move on. Even before me and Conrad started dating, me and Steven were already friends, he was even the one who introduced us to each other.

Steven has been a source of comfort and support throughout the entire process. Even during me and Conrad's dating phase, Steven was there for me, no matter how bad things got.

He was the type to not always tolerate his bestfriend's actions. He was someone who always defended me from Conrad.

I asked him to accompany me to do groceries, since this was probably the first time I went out after the break up. I didn't know If I could do it myself alone so Steven suggested that he should come with me.

I thought that I was somehow okay now, that some wounds had healed already not until I saw Conrad, my ex-boyfriend, in the store. I froze and couldn't say a word. I thought he was alone, just doing his normal errands not until a girl came up to him, clinging on his arm. I moved a little just to see that girl's face.

You'd talk to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn't matter

My heart dropped. It was my best friend, the one who knew everything.

She was also the one who told me that I didn't deserve how Conrad was treating me, but now here she is with him. I watched in disbelief as they laughed and walked away, leaving me standing there with my heart in my hands.

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor

I felt betrayed, I felt angry, I felt stupid. So many questions popped into my head like why was it so fast? why me? why my best friend? I wanted answers, but I knew I wasn't going to get them. I felt like I had been played and I was so hurt. I was determined to never trust anyone again.

I just stood there until I felt Steven's hand on my back, I looked up to him. He saw everything, his eyes filled with anger, anger for his best friend. He held me close and said, “I’m sorry.” I knew he wanted to help me, but there was nothing he could do.

I looked away, ashamed. I couldn't bear to see his pity, so I stepped away from him and said, “It's okay, I'll be fine.” He nodded sadly and we both knew I was lying. I turned to go, but he grabbed my hand and said, “Wait.” He held my gaze and said, “You don't have to do this alone.” His words were like a lifeline, and I finally allowed myself to break down and cry.

He held me tightly until I stopped sobbing, then let go. He looked at me with a gentle expression and said, "Remember, I'm here for you." I felt a warmth inside me that I hadn't felt for a long time - the feeling of being understood and supported. I nodded and smiled, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. He was just glad that he was there for me, he would do everything just to pick those pieces of my heart and bring them again all together.

[bree-cheesy]

Forbidden Pleasure

Joseph Quinn x fem!reader

A/N: So here I am with another fic after like almost a month. Sorry y'all. I get excited to write for like a week then don't want to for a month. Hope I make up for my absence. And I hope you guys like the fic. Took me a lot of effort to make honestly.

SIDE NOTE: Messed something up so I had to delete and repost! Sorry!!

Credit to @nowadayz for the gif

Warnings: SMUT 18+!!! Minors just go away. (dirty talk, mutual pining, intense kissing, slight sub and dom themes but only if you squint, fingering, unprotected p in v sex, cockwarming mentions, finger sucking.) Some fluff, co-star friends to lovers, not very plot heavy, reader and Joseph practice kissing for a scene. No use of Y/N. Think that's it. It's not proof read either.

Word Count: 2093

______________________________________________________________

Joseph was your costar. You both were starring in a romance movie about two ex lovers. They were separated when they went to college and recently ran into each other when your character got a new job in the character’s old town. It was pretty cliche, but it was your first film you were starring in so you were excited. Joseph played the love interest. It was your first film where you had to act out a sex scene. You were so unprepared. It’s not like you’ve never been with someone intimately, but acting a sex scene was so much different then actually having sex.

Joseph was nothing, but kind to you about the whole thing. He knew you were nervous about it and was super supportive. He was nervous himself because he was too afraid to admit he was attracted to you. He was head over heels for you almost. He wanted to make the whole scene perfect for you because he had a small amount of hope something would happen between you both. He would have to wait to say anything until filming was ended because you both could be kicked from the movie. He didn’t want that for you.

You were in your trailer, preparing for the scene. It was only you and Joseph and the filming crew on set that day, but you were still nervous. What if you were bad at it? What if you forgot to brush your teeth beforehand? Thoughts were zooming through your head so bad that you almost missed the knock on your trailer door. You got up and opened the door. Joseph was standing there.

“Oh, hey Joe.” You let him in and shut the door behind him. Your palms felt sweaty around him. He was hard to be around. It was almost intimidating.

“Hey, just thought I’d check on you before the scene. See how you’re feeling.” Joseph ran his hand through his hair and gave you a weak smile. Even if the smile was fake, it was still beautiful. God, that smile. It was something you saw in your mind at almost every waking moment. Completely tormenting you all day every day. Everything about it was perfect. Not to mention his eyes. Goddamn he was just a beautiful man. “Hey, you there?”

You shook out of your thoughts and looked up at him, gulping nervously. “Yeah, yeah. I’m nervous honestly.” You walked back to the desk you were at and sat down. “Scared I’ll do bad. Haven’t really had very many praises on my kissing skill in my life.” Joseph looked at you confused. You shook your head. “It’s not important. Don’t worry about it.”

Joseph sat down on your couch in the corner, sitting back and manspreading in a way that made chills go down your spine. You usually hated when men did that. Why is it so attractive when he does it? “I understand. I haven’t necessarily had complaints about my skills, but it’s different in front of a camera. Always a little nerve wracking.” He smiled at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Especially when the girl you’re kissing is pretty.”

You blushed and rolled your eyes, peeking at the time on your phone. “It’s no secret that people don’t want me to do this movie. There have been complaints since before we started filming. One little mess up and I’m fucked, Joe.” You groaned and held your head in your hands. Joseph rolled his eyes.

“Don’t even worry about that. You’re gonna do fine.” Joseph looked at you, an idea suddenly crossing his mind. It was a stretch so he was scared to even ask the question, but you looked desperate. “Uhm, we could practice.” You looked up at him confused. Practice? Practice what? Fake sex?

“Practice?” You asked, still terribly confused.

“Yeah, like practice kissing or something. Like, if you’re so worried you’ll mess it up, we can practice to see how we work together.” He shrugged and sat forward a little. “In my opinion, it’s worth a shot.”

You bit your lip nervously, your cheeks heating up. Kissing Joe out of character? What was he thinking? This is dangerous. Who knows what would happen between you two? The attraction between you two was undeniable. The kiss could spark something dangerous. Something forbidden. “A-Are you sure?” Your voice was meek and shaky.

He nodded and stood up. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. Not gonna force you to do it.” He held his hand out and you took it, standing up in front of him. “Look, you set the pace. If that means I don’t touch you, or if there's no tongue, I don’t care. All up to you. I want you to be comfortable.” He looked so kind and gentle. You are lost now. Unable to let the chance of feeling his lips not in front of a camera pass up. It was a need. Not a want. A need. A need clawing at your insides that was getting almost too much to handle.

“U-Uhm, okay.” you gulped nervously and he smiled.

“Okay, what’s the rules then, m’lady.” He held his hands out like one of those wooden dummies you’d draw. “Guide my hands wherever.” You pouted a little and gently took his hands, putting them on your waist. Seemed like a secure spot. He’d have a grip on you in case the kissing was just too much and you passed out.

His hands flexed against your waist, aching to slide under your t-shirt so he could feel your skin. He needed more, but he was going to stay true to his word. The pace of this was up to you. He looked down at you with such patience that it almost made you melt into a puddle at his feet. You usually were not the kind to want to bend at every command a man gave, but for him, you’d do almost anything. His head went down a little, just to get closer so it wasn’t awkward trying to start the kiss. His breath gently fanned against your lips. It smelled minty with a slight hint of cigarettes. It was sinful.

Gently, you pressed your lips to his. His hands tightened ever so slightly on your waist and you stepped closer. Mentally cursing at yourself for kissing like a scared teenager, you deepened it ever so slightly. Both your eyes fluttered shut, noses bumping a little. He couldn’t stop himself. Your lips were just too soft. He needed more. He pressed his lips harder against yours and you let out a soft whimper, pressing more against him. He wouldn’t go too far. Not unless you did. He felt your tongue gently swipe his bottom lip and he opened on a sigh, hugging his arms around your waist.

Reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck, the kiss turned sloppy. Hot and wet. Teeth clashing. It was primal. A need deep down in the both of coming out after one simple kiss. You moaned into his mouth when he pressed you up against the wall, slotting his mouth hard over yours. You were so fucked. So absolutely mega fucked. He tasted like pure sin. Better than anything you could’ve imagined.

His hands went down to your ass and squeezed softly, groaning and slotting his thigh between your legs, making your knees buckle and fall into him. His hands went down your belly and roughly unbuttoned your jeans. You wiggled your hips slightly as he stuck his hand inside, welcoming the gesture with open arms. His fingers slid to your aching pussy which was now completely soaked. It always was when you thought about him.

“Fuck… so wet…” Joseph groaned into your mouth and moved down to kiss your neck. His fingers found your clit in record time and you moaned a little louder than intended. Just as he was about to go further, your phone rang. He gasped and pulled away. You scrambled to grab the phone and looked at the contact. It was the producer. He was calling you to get ready for the scene. Joseph fixed his clothes and you hastily buttoned your pants back up. No words were spoken between you two and you both awkwardly walked to hair and makeup.

--2 hours later--

The tension was sizzling between you two after the scene. Everyone could tell, but no one was going to say anything. As you got back to your apartment that night, your phone buzzed. It was a text from Joe. You bit your lip nervously and looked at it.

Joey: You better open your front door.

Confused, you opened it and were met with Joseph standing there, out of breath and holding onto the doorframe. Before you could get a word in, he rushed at you, kissing you with such urgency you'd 've been convinced the world was ending. You weren’t going to stop it, though. His hands ripped your shirt and pants off before picking you up and carrying you to the couch. Your ass landed in his lap facing away from him. You took a deep and much needed breath. You hadn’t really gotten one since he tackled you.

He kissed your neck while you shimmed your panties down your legs. His hand went between your thigh and he groaned into your ear. “God, the most perfect pussy…” His middle and ring finger slipped through your soaking folds making you whine and squirm in his lap. He lightly slapped your thigh. “Be a good girl and hold still.”

You nodded and whimpered softly, lolling your head back against his shoulder. He gently rubbed your clit, whispering dirty nothings in your ear, slowly making you come undone. You felt his hard on growing under your ass, making it so hard to not wiggle against it. His fingers were so gentle and talented. Your body quivered against his chest, breath coming out in hard pants. “Joseph… I need.. please!” You whimpered, feeling yourself getting close.

“Cum for me, baby… I want to see it.” he slipped his middle finger inside your pussy, his thumb working against your clit in time with his finger’s thrusts. You felt yourself squeeze around his fingers, Joseph whispering encouragements into your ear. Finally, you cried out and came hard around his finger. He pulled his finger out and pressed it against your lips. You sucked on it obediently, wanting to please him. He reached down between you two and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling his aching cock out.

“Joseph… please….” You whined, wiggling against his cock. You just wanted him inside you. He wouldn’t even have to move, just put it inside you and let you warm his cock. Anything for him. He gently lowered you onto his cock, stretching you out so good. It was a little painful, but it felt so good at the same time. It was a forbidden feeling running through your whole body. Without even thinking, you started bouncing on his cock. It wasn’t even something you knew you were doing.

He grabbed your hips and helped you up and down his cock, grunting and groaning. Your moans echoed through your apartment, a beautiful song only you two would be able to make. You pressed your palms on his knees and rode him harder, whining and moaning, your eyes shutting at his tip pressed against the spot inside you that made you weak.

“That’s it, baby. Use my cock… Use it, baby…” Joseph slapped your ass, making you yelp and go faster, chasing the release you so desperately needed. Joseph moved his hips up against yours, meeting your thrusts and driving you wild. He felt your pussy walls clench around his cock and gritted his teeth. “S-So tight…” Joseph stuttered out.

“I-I’m gonna cum, Joe-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before cumming hard for the second time. Joseph groaned and felt his release snap, filling you up. You fell back against his chest, your breath coming out shaky and hard. Your eyes shut and your hand went back to behind his head, snaking your fingers through his curls. He breathed heavily and gently lifted you off his cock, setting you back down on his lap, too tired to get up. Turning his arms, you snuggled into his chest and fell asleep. He just hugged you close and shut his eyes.

It was a forbidden thing for the two of you. No one would know until they had to. Forbidden, but so amazing. Forbidden pleasure.

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Monster of Wolf Woods | Part One

Summary: a love story of a muggle and a werewolf

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Remus hating on himself

A/N: this is the start of a two part (possibly more if people like it) story to please the David Thewlis hyperfixation my brain currently has. Hope you enjoy! as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

- - - - -

I’d never paid much attention to the moon, other than the occasional glance up to admire it’s beauty on a dark night. I’d never stopped to consider the danger that lurked beneath it. That is until I met Remus. 

I work in a small independent book shop in the middle of a small independent village. No one really knows this village exists aside from the people who live here and there are only around 300 or so of us. I was working in the bookshop the day I met Remus. It’s not very often you meet new people in this village when so he walked into the shop I felt my heart jump with excitement. His gentle nature, kind smile and enthusiasm for books caught my attention and I quickly developed a crush on him. I kicked myself for not asking for his number as I watched him leaving the shop, thinking I’d blown my opportunity and that I’d never see him again. 

To my surprise (and relief) he came back the following day. And the day after that. And the day after that. 

He came back to the shop every single day for almost a week, each time buying a new book before talking to me for at least an hour about the book he’d purchased the previous day. It was like we’d started our own little book club. 

“Well lovely chatting you as always. I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said on the Saturday as he turned to leave the shop. 

“Actually we’re closed on Sundays.” I replied regretfully, half considering opening up the shop just for him. 

“Oh” he responded disappointed, thinking for a moment “Well I guess you’ll have to let me take you out somewhere else then.”

“Like, a date…?” I tested, feeling butterflies as I waited for his answer. 

“If that’s okay with you.” He suddenly sounded nervous. “You don't have to of course, if you’d rather not-”

“Remus” I said gently, interrupting him before he had a chance to fully spiral. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

“You- you want to?” The hope in his eyes melted my heart. 

“I’ve wanted to since the day you first walked in.” 

The next day we met up outside the closed bookshop. He brought flasks of coffee and together we walked through the village and shared stories about our lives with each other. He told me about how he spent the past year working as a teacher at some private boarding school but recently moved back to the area after having enough of dealing with ‘rich overbearing parents’. I told him how I’d moved to this village 6 months ago after splitting with my ex, opening up to him about the awful way I’d been treated which explained why I wanted a fresh start in the middle of nowhere. 

We’d become so distracted in our conversation that I didn’t even realise how far we’d walked until we arrived at the edge of the forest. 

“Everything alright dear?” He asked, noticing my hesitation to follow him. 

“This is the entrance to wolf woods.” I say and he nods. “Did you mean to bring us here?” 

The forest wasn’t really called wolf woods, that’s just the nickname given to it by the locals because if you listen into the night when the moon is full you can almost hear the sounds of a wolf howling. No one had ever actually seen a wolf, but the villagers still would never get near just in case. 

“I must admit I got so caught up listening to your story I lost track of where we were going. I didn’t mean to bring you so close to the forest. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Oh no, I’m not scared!” I say with a smile and he looks at me confused.

“But the wolf lives here.”

“I’ve read a lot about them and I think they’re beautiful and misunderstood creatures. I’m more concerned that if there is a wolf living in these woods then two humans walking into its home might startle it and make it feel unsafe.” When I looked at Remus I swear I saw a tear in his eye. “Are you okay?” 

“I’ve never heard mugg-” he corrected himself “person talk so kindly about a monster before.” 

“I don't believe they’re monsters. But even if they were, everyone deserves kindness…” I say, taking a step to close the gap between us.” …everyone deserves love.” 

Remus suddenly leant down and kissed me, taking my breath away, before pulling away flustered. 

“Sorry, I don't know what came over me-” he starts breathlessly but I grab his face and pull him in for another kiss, this one lasting longer as we both melted into each other. 

That was the first of many kisses I shared with Remus as we started seeing each other. As the months went by I noticed a trend in his behaviour. Once a month he’d be gone for a couple of days on what he jokingly referred to as a ‘super secret work trip’ but would never actually go into detail about. When I tried to ask him more about these trips or even what he did for work the conversation would always go elsewhere. He would often come back from these trips with cuts and bruises that he’d try to hide from me. His energy would be low and though he’d try to put on a happy face I could tell he was down. 

After one particularly bad trip where he came back using a cane to help him walk I sat him down on the sofa in my living room and pulled up a chair to sit in front of him as I asked him for the truth. He gave me a sad smile, and started to explain everything. I sat and listened, occasionally asking a question to help me understand, while he told me about magic and wizards and muggles and Hogwarts. It amazed me to find out this whole other world existed right under my nose. It also terrified me a little to learn of someone he referred to as ‘the dark lord’, but Remus assured me that we’d be safe. 

“So… you're a wizard?” I asked and he nodded. I smiled. “That’s pretty cool.” 

“There’s more.” His face turned serious as he took my hand. He breathed deep and I could tell he was afraid of what he had to say next. “There is a wolf that lives in the forest. But he’s not beautiful like the wolves you’ve read about in your nature books. This one really is a monster. And I’m really hoping that you meant it when you said everyone deserves love because-” he stopped, trying to calm himself with another deep breath. “Y/N…”

“It’s okay.” I said, squeezing his hand tighter as he started to cry. 

“It’s not okay, it’s not!” He cries and I placed one hand on his cheek, wiping tears away with my thumb as they rolled down past his scars. “I can’t-”

“You can Remus. Nothing that you say will change the way I feel about you.” I gently guided his face so I can look into his eyes. “Look at me. You can tell me.” 

He removed my hand from his face, placing it with my other hand in his. 

“I’m a werewolf.” He says, looking down to fix his gaze on where our hands are intwined. “When I was a child a vicious werewolf broke into our family home and attacked me while I was sleeping and ever since then I have been cursed to transform into something I hate every full moon. There’s a bunker near my cottage in the forest that I lock myself in but the wolf is loud and sometimes the villagers hear me. Thankfully no one has ever been brave enough to go searching the woods and hopefully they never will. For years I’ve been planting ideas in the muggle’s heads. The right words said to the right people at the right time and before you know it the whole village has been warned to stay clear of the dangerous creature in the forest. They have no idea its really me. I am the monster of wolf woods.”

My hands slip from Remus’ as he leans back in his chair, letting out a breath as he watches me with worry in his eyes, trying to work out what I’m thinking. Silently I stand up from my seat and Remus’ worry turns to panic. 

“I understand completely if this is too much, if you don't want to see me-” he starts babbling but I cut him off as I sit down on the sofa next to him, putting my arm around him to pull him into a tight hug. I feel how much he is shaking and he starts to cry with relief. 

“I can’t lie, that was a lot to take in. But it doesn’t change anything. You’re still Remus, the gentle natured book nerd with a kind smile who came into my shop and stole my heart all those months ago.” I say, leaning away to look in his face. “My Remus.” 

“I don't deserve you.” He whispers with a sad smile. 

“Yes you do.” I smile back at him as I kiss him on the nose, causing us both to start giggling. 

“Thank you.” he says once we’ve composed ourselves. “My Y/N. I really do love you.” 

“I really do love you too.” 

*part two coming soon*

[pray4saint]

crush culture

masterlist & descrip. pg-13. 13+. fem!reader. swearing. toxic, manipulative, near abusive ex mention. use of 'y/n'. lyrics are out of order. crush denial. 1.5k words. in reponse to @ghostworrjed 's ask bc i accidentally wrote it wrong & posted it lmao.

a/n. STOP IT ILY. first fic for this event is a conan gray song n im living for it | the last paragraph was rushed bc the song was starting to give me a headache

crush culture by conan gray | this is apart of my 500 follower event!

”i'm done! okay, i'm done! are you fucking happy now?!” you'd screamed, reaching for your keys off the dresser. your boyfriend stared up at you from the couch, a dark look in his eye that made your hands tremble in just the slightest. behind you, you'd already started to turn the door handle and pull it, opening the door, still facing him. ”yeah, i am. you know why?” you didn't want to say anything, you wanted to leave. but as if his words were a drug, you responded, ”why?” breathless, your eyes giving way to your fear. the man sat far from you smiled, the same smile that always told you things weren't going to end well. ”because you'll come back. because we love each other.” despite how he meant it sound, you could still feel the venom spat from his mouth. you could feel it tingle against your skin, you could feel it in the air as you slammed the door shut, anger and sadness fighting to stay behind your eyes, you could feel it on the hoodie you were wearing that was actually his.

you'd gone to stay with your cousin that night. she doubled as one of your best friends and stayed up with you the entire night. she wasn't amazing at providing comfort, but she let your cry it out on her couch, she let you sleep in her guest bedroom, she took the next morning off work to stay with you. she also convinced you, along with the ill intent behind your boyfriend's words, not to go back to him.

”y/n, my dearest cousin and best friend in the entire world, can i offer you a piece of advice?” she'd asked, pulling english muffins from the toaster onto her plate. for the first time since you'd sat down to eat, you looked up from your plate. ”yeah, go ahead.”

”why don't you try.. not dating, just for a few months?” you knew to take everything your cousin said with a grain of salt, but maybe she was onto something. every time you'd gotten out of a major relationship, there was a cycle that you never strayed from, and that was; breakup, then have a rebound, then go on two dates with different people, and then dive into another long-term relationship. ”uh, yeah, i'll give it a try.” it came out more sarcastic than you meant it, but by the smile you got from her, you assumed she could tell.

by the time you'd left her house that day and were on your way back to your own place, you'd decided to take the time off from dating.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦��♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

yes, it had been a few months since your breakup with your ex. yes, your ex was still texting you, every other goddamned day.

after news of your breakup had travelled throughout your friend group and your cousin's friend group, it was a mutual friend – one neither of you had heard from in a long time – who reached out. sapnap. and recently, you'd been spending more time than you would've liked to admit with him. it slowly went from one coffee out to cheer you up a few weeks after the breakup, which mind you, took a couple of cancellations to get set up, to you texting him whenever you wanted to go out and get away from everything. the next month you were telling him what your ex would say in the texts he'd send you.

in your mind, there were no sirens, no flags raised at how much time you'd spent talking to sapnap. even when he started coming over to your place or you started going over to his place, you didn't think anything of it, because at least you had him to distract you.

i'm not falling for you, 'cause this baby is love-proof.

yes, you'd been spending a lot of time with your friend sapnap. yes, he'd started to become apart of your daily routine to talk to. yes, your cousin had raised concerns over your weekly dinner together. no, you didn't feel anything for him. you didn't feel much of anything for anyone. but when you were with him, much like when you were with your cousin or your other friends, you were smiling and laughing. you were happy.

”do you want me to order something in tonight?” sapnap asked from your couch, head hung over the back to look at you in your kitchen. lifting your head up from your fridge for the fifth time in the hour with a sigh, your head turns to him. ”yeah. can we do ubereats this time? the last time i doordashed, they forgot my sauce.” you pushed the door shut lazily, taking steps back toward the living room as he pulled his head back over the edge and opened the ubereats app on his phone. ”whatever you want.” he offhandedly smiled at you and you've could've sworn your heart stopped for a split second.

oh. shit.

the whole rest of that day you went on as if you weren't on high alert. you couldn't have a crush, not yet, because your six months weren't quite up yet. by the time it was time for him to go, you were internally panicking. just don't see him for a week, that'll fix it, that's what you told yourself.

and initially, it did work. you told sapnap you were sick, and your cousin brought your groceries over that week and all was well in the world. and when you did hang out with him next? there was no heart stopping of any kind, and so you resumed your hanging out with him how you had been for months.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

”what do you think of this?” you'd asked him over facetime, stepping back from the camera to show off the new hoodie and jeans you'd bought that you thought paired really well together. ”i like it, but i think it would look better on my floor.” your heart stopped, but not in the same way as before. this time it was from how outrageous this sounded to you.

”excuse me?” you asked, picking up the phone to bring it up really close to your face. ”you heard me.” he replied simply. nonchalantly.

oh no, don't look in their eyes, 'cause that's how they get you, kiss you then forget you

your cousin stared at you, wide-eyed, jaw slack at your story. ”listen, y/n–” you cut her off. ”i know what you're gonna say, and no, i don't have a crush on him. he's just messing with me, obviously. anyways, i can't wait to be done with these months of being crush-free.”

after giving you a minute to catch your breath, your cousin speaks again. ”so what i was gonna ask, y/n is, are you fighting it? you know, having a crush?” she asked, pulling her mug of tea back up to her lips. she took a long sip in while you mulled over her words. ”no, i don't think so.” your words were flat out simple, but the way your fingertips tapped into your palm gave away your lie. ”uh huh, sure. let me know how this whole thing with sap goes.” she responds, taking another sip from her mug.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚���⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

ok, maybe your cousin was right. maybe you were fighting having a crush. maybe you were fighting having a crush on sapnap.

crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out, spill my guts out, spill my guts out

every time you went out on drives later into the night, every time you called him at midnight and he picked up, every time he texted you about something interesting that'd happened to him throughout his day, every time he flirted with you, you felt heart your stop. you also felt it flip and spin and your stomach twirl and flutter as if butterflies were locked inside.

still, you didn't do anything about it, because you couldn't. you made a promise to yourself, and you wanted to see it through.

what you didn't know, was that sapnap was feeling very similarly. he'd started flirting with you moments before he realises he had a crush on you. but he couldn't do anything about it, because you told him a week later about your deal with yourself, and he knew how badly you wanted to get through it. so, of course, he wanted that for you too.

in the mean time, he flirted but would stop himself short of anything truly meaningful and he would avoid going for the hugs he oh so badly wanted, and he would take advantage of every minute he had with you. oh, what a shame it was to feel so much, and repress it for your sake and for the sake of the person you felt so much for.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

to say he was happy when you'd called him at 12:01am one night to tell him that you were officially through your six months was an understatement. to say he was ecstatic when you told him how you felt about him moments afterwards was an understatement.

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[imogenleewriter]

What are some of your favorite fics? i feel like i trust your opinion so much since what you write is so amazing u have to read something just as loll

I've given rec's to anons before, not sure if you've checked any of those out. Favourites / Famous/Non-Famous / A/B/O / WIPs (although most are complete now!) / Recent Read Recs Pt 1

But, let's do a new recently read and loved list!

I Don't Wanna Face The Music by hereforh / @hereforh Word count: 95,378 (but there is also a pt 2, still a WIP and up to 80k). Rating: E. Uni AU. Strangers to Lovers.

Louis likes to think he's a pretty normal, typical lad. He likes spending nights at the pub with his mates, he loves football and is very close to his family. So when he moves to London for uni, he doesn’t think much will be different.

Until he makes these new friends who are nothing like his mates back home and change his life for the better - and this one boy who messes with his head from the get go and makes him question everything he has ever thought about himself.

Wind beneath my wings by lunarheslwt / @lunarheslwt Word count: 93,131. Rating: E. A/B/O. Strangers to Lovers.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Harry gritted out, wild-eyed. “You should be scared of me.” Louis opened his mouth to speak, to cut him off, to disagree, but Harry was pushing. “I could hurt you.” “You won’t hurt me,” Louis said, simple and assuredly. Calm. “I’m capable of hurting you.” “But you won’t. That’s not who you are, Harry. I trust you,” Louis whispered.

As an omega carer that works at a rescue and rehabilitation centre for feral alphas and omegas, Louis has experienced all sides of ferality. So Harry- a cold, near-mute, non-receptive alpha- was a challenging case for everyone at Phoenix Rehab Centre. Louis wasn’t expecting to feel drawn towards an aloof Harry, or to form a slow bond with him. He certainly was not expecting for his entire life to change in unforeseen ways.

don't want no other shade of blue by padfootyoudog / @louisisworthit Word count: 43,230. Rating: E. A/B/O. Enemies to lovers.

“I know you’re putting on an act,” says Harry after a moment, and Louis scowls when he realises the prince is actually amused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Louis.

“All I’ve heard over the past couple of years are rumours of Prince Louis’ kindness, and generosity, and oh, he’s so handsome I can barely pour his tea without shaking!” says Harry, putting on a silly, high-pitched voice for the last bit. Louis’ scowl deepens. “I would already know if you were just another selfish, bratty omega prince. You can’t fool me, darling, but I admire your efforts.”

“As you said,” Louis grits out, “those are only rumours. I assure you, I’m a terrible person.”

Harmony by nouies / @nouies Word count: 6,175. Rating: E. A/B/O. Enemies to lovers.

Alpha Harry and Omega Louis don’t have the most amicable relationship at work. When they get stuck together in an elevator, Harry scents Louis after nothing else works to bring him out of his panicked state.

Their time trapped in the elevator together brings to light some misunderstandings, and maybe some feelings for each other, too.

We Both Got Nothing To Hide by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 Word count: 43,811. Rating: E. A/B/O. Friends to lovers/mutual pining.

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

//

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

through the jungle through the dark by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf Word count: 12,555. Rating: E. Road Trip, Ex-friends to lovers.

Louis and Harry were best friends, until they weren’t. Five years after they last spoke they’re forced to drive cross-country to visit an injured friend. If they can’t get over the past, it will be a very long week together.

Nailed By Louis by haztobegood / @haztobegood Word count: 6,311 (+part 2: 3,168). Rating: E. Enemies to lovers.

It had started as a joke, just two months earlier. Louis had tried to make recipe from HarrySizzles Instagram account. It looked doable: no strange ingredients, no scary kitchen machinery. Just a simple layered lettuce salad. The result had been catastrophic. His friends had laughed so hard at the disgusting appearance of his salad, and after a few drinks, Louis had been convinced to start his own Instagram to track his food failures.

these bad omens (I look right through them) by likelarry / @likelarryfics Word count: 82,322. Rating: E. Age Difference (all legal). Strangers to lovers.

How on earth does someone his parents' age look so damn hot? All of their other friends look... bland and boring.

But Louis, fucking hell. He's something out of Harry's wettest fucking dreams.

Where Louis is Harry's parents' friend and teaches at Harry's university. Harry can't resist getting a taste.

[basketprutas]

WHAT IF? ✧*。

Somewhere down the road, we actually worked out?

Characters: Diluc & reader (no gender-specific terms were used)

Genre: lovers to exes so angst, tiny comfort if you squint. NOT set in an alternate universe.

Notes: First post, wow :0 Let me know what you think by sending something to my inbox!

Listen to this for maximum angst (Laufey - Promise) (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)

I recently started writing again; click here to learn more about me ^-^

"Then I guess I don't love you anymore." 

Those words hurt. No, they stung. Diluc looked away, closing his eyes as he shook his head.

“So now what? Are we through? That’s it?” You ask, infuriated.

Your dynamic with DIluc has changed over the past few months. From playful bickering to clear, pure annoyance with one another. This fight wasn’t like the other fights you two would have. It was like everything changed so quickly, even though the both of you loved each other for years now.

But why can’t you move past this fight like the others?

“I guess we are.” He finally says.

Confused and mad, you turn around. “Okay then.” You breathe out, voice shaking. It hurt to let him go like this. Mad at one another, showing little to no care. You didn’t want to cry. Not at this point. So you left. 

He watched you walk away.

He let you walk away.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

The first few months after the breakup was manageable. You quickly disposed of everything that was related to him in your room. You would cry, but it was for drunken nights with the tone-deaf bard, drinking your sorrows away just to be better the next day.

Everything reminded him of you. Things you used to buy for one another, things only the both of you would understand.

But in the month of finally letting go of one another him, you never saw Diluc in the middle of Mondstadt. When you would visit angels share, he was never there. When you had to pass by the winery, he wasn’t there.

Maybe it was for the best that you didn’t see him.

But in the time you did see him again, was when you realized, it was right for him to let you walk away.

Because at that moment, eyes meeting and bodies freezing in place, is when you realize you really don’t love him anymore. At least, not in the way you used to.

You walk up to him and wave your hand. Diluc remained still.

“Hey.” You say, smiling. “It’s been a while.” “It has.” Was all he could reply. His shoulders were tense, eyes blinking at a rapid pace. “How have you been?”

“All good. I’m actually preparing for a trip. I’m traveling to Inazuma and might not come back for a while…” You admit.

His eye widen.

“You’re leaving?”

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

The first few months of the breakup were horrible. He couldn’t accept it. You were gone, and he let it happen. 

He didn’t mean what he said. Did he? His head hurt. He doesn’t know what day it is, but all he knows is that it’s another day without you by his side.

Would all of this be different if he asked you to stay? To come back to him, to take back everything he said?

But in the heat of the moment, he knew he told the truth.

The past few months before the breakup were nothing but horrible fights. 

‘You’re ridiculous.’ he said. ‘And what, overreacting? You could’ve died out there, Diluc!’ You cried out. He sighed. ‘You know what I have to do for my job.’ ‘I know. But it doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.’

Memories like that played back in his mind, making him realize all you did was care for him.  His heart hurt at the thought of it. In one way or another, you did everything to show him you cared, and he only realized it too late.

His nights were sleepless but filled with silent sobs.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

“Yeah. Inazuma looked like a good place to go. I'll definitely miss everyone here.” You say, smiling.

You were smiling when he remained in pain. You were okay, and he wasn’t. The thought crushed Diluc. You, happy without him?

“Stay safe, then.” He replies, trying to gain back his composure. “I will.” 

“And Diluc,” You say before walking past him,

“Thank you. For everything. I wish you nothing but the best.”

You walked away this time on your own accord,

Leaving him back where you left him.

Or more like where he left you, this time in your place.

addtl.

He wrote you a letter. He couldn't take it. Even after a year, he didn't like the underlying emotions he felt after leaving everything unresolved.

You didn't respond.

He wanted to go to you; he needed to.

But with an unanswered letter just sitting on your table, left to collect nothing but dust,

He knew he couldn't.

END.

Notes:

So... how was it? I wrote this in a daze honestly I would write longer ones but I know if I did I wouldn't finish it so here's (to me at least) a short one.

Inbox is always open for suggestions and comments.

-Clara

[zandra-lang-cave]

Scratch wraith theory . . . And why I don't like it

So, has of the recent episode, the scratch is a wraith theory has more weight to it. I would even start to call it foreshadowing rather than a theory.

But as probably the only person who doesn't like this idea, I decide to give my two cents.

If scratch is wraith, the next step would be to return him to his body.

There is no way around it. He would have to go back to being human, other wise we have a background character that is basically an empty husck without a soul. And has much as i love this dark idea of a character turning into 2 beings with each one being a character of their own, with one being a bodyless being and the other one being a soul less human. But lets face it, that is way too dark of an idea for Disney, not unless it is in the plan to "fix" them by returning them to their "original" form.

If he does return to being human, that's it. Good by show, it couldn't keep going after that. It's not impossible but just think of the justification the writers will have to come with for the show to still be "the ghost and molly mcgee" when the ghost is no longer a ghost its migraine inducing.

And lastly, and the big reason why I don't like this idea. Imply messages.

Now it has been stablish that scratch is "dead" no going around it, no sugar coating. If they return him to being human, to being "alive," it would imply that dead is reversible. And that is a big no for me. Dead should not be shown has reversible, especially for a show aim to little kids. Even if we say "kids are smart enough to see its fantasy," it's still a coward way out to explicitly present a character has dead only to revive it later. It just keeps the stereotype that dead can't be shown in kids' shows unless it is temporary or reversible.

Now, putting my worries and admitting it, petty complaints about this idea aside. I can also see the writers pulling it off. This idea would work great a show ending. But they will have to pull a Deus ex machina if they don't start to set it up properly, and considering the show us mostly episodic (nothing bad i love it being episodic), that's probably what is gonna happen.

Does this make me hate the show? Nop!

It will take more than that for me to hate this show, I just disagree with the majority of people that like this idea.

[radiotransmissionaac]

venting about a break up

So I recently got broken up with by my partner of five and a half years. And some of it was definitely my fault these things go both ways. I have a bad instinct of withholding information or wanting to keep things private to protect myself which I understand is something I need to work on and have sincerely been doing for the past several years. This unfortunately rubbed up against my ex’s fear of abandonment and she interpreted it as dishonesty, and started doubting all of my actions and intention. In short, we both stopped wholly trusting each other. On my end, for different reasons that I won’t share here.

When we last spoke I could tell she was, ironically, holding things back from me which I don’t resent them for (genuine). But I could tell it’s because of my disability. One of the things they tried to pass off as a joke was “I’m trying not to feel ableist about [breaking up with you.]” And admitting that there were things they weren’t saying because ‘I didn’t deserve mean things said to me.’

The last part which really hurt me was “I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to in our relationship.”

Over the last six months or more I’ve tried so hard to do things with and for them in spite of my chronic illness. But sometimes that only made them more upset because it just wasn’t the same or ‘felt disingenuous’ or I ‘wasn’t spending my energy on recovery.’ But doing things that accomodated my disability also seemed to make them upset or uncomfortable in some small but heavily present way. When I made jokes about my AAC or even went out with them in my wheelchair there was this, I don’t know, this tension.

It slowly became clearer and clearer that what they really wanted from me was full and complete recovery and a ‘return to normal.’ One of the last things we did as a couple was go on a big trip with friends which they kept insisting that they hoped and believed it would (fix me) help my recovery. They messaged me when they were hovering around breaking up but hadn’t committed yet that they hoped me ‘spending less time and energy on our relationship would help me spend more time on my recovery.’

I wanted to write all this out and share it because I know my partner wasn’t some horrible two dimensional caricature of an ableist. They did things to love and support me. And I did things that hurt them. That there was a lot of grief she had and I don’t think was processing. But it still hurt and continues to hurt me.

And I don’t know if I’m justified in that or if I’m making it all about me or if there’s some side to this I’m just not seeing and I’d love some advice. (Genuine).

[nikkiruncks]

Hi friend you're officially legal wow! I love the toph + azula concept they're a similar age and it's wlw which is so good. I recently watched t9s and wanted to come into your inbox and share my ThoughtsTM

so like there were a LOT of weird parts about the show (jay trying to seduce leia's mom out of revenge was ???) but the actors were gradually figuring out their footing which was fun to watch, it felt less like flat disney channel line delivery at some parts. nikki and nate's actors did a great job with their acting for the breakup/post breakup plotline and I enjoyed watching their casual exes fling lol, even if it's not a good relationship it's really fun to watch onscreen.

all three girls are beautiful but gwen got insanely hot, i loved her hair and fashion she's so pretty. her actress had genuine chemistry with the Boyfriend (I already forgot his name he's just arm candy at this point) so that definitely made the overall show's acting a bit better as well.

the thing with the nate/leia conflict was that it was dumb because I get how they're both softies which lends itself to personality compatibility but I could not see it as a romantic ship at all, I'm not convinced that they're attracted to each other (the friendship interactions were barely developed) and it honestly felt random/designed to produce conflict. i can buy it on nate's side but not at all from leia's. however the thing where nate had to pretend she's gross is actually funny - overall the jokes and humor got a little bit better this season.

great talk, hope you're having a wonderful day!

So happy to see you in my inbox again Anna! Been a long time since we talked lol.

Haha I actually turned 18 over 6 months ago but ty! It took a while for me to terms with being adult ngl, but I ended up getting used to it. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing sometimes tho haha.

Ty! Toph and Azula are a two year age gap, so I feel like it’s very fitting. I just love the idea of them as enemies to gfs. I think in general, I have a thing for ships where two characters are "similar but different" (i.e. gwikki, tophzula, zenmasters, dair, etc). It’s just so fun to see them get closer and realize they aren’t so different after all.

I personally was fine with the acting, and the kids are 15-20 years old so I cut some slack lol. Also a hot take, but Jay trying to seduce Donna was funny as fuck idec. Like the music, Jay's mannerisms, Donna being like 'wtf', and Jay "turning Donna down". It was perfect imo.

Nikki and Nate soured for me after the 3rd episode of the first season, but I’ll admit that I love their fwb storyline in season two. I just don’t want them to get together and be a couple. I’ve talked about it here why I don’t want them again and I still stand by it. I just don’t want my girl (and Nate) being limited to that relationship haha.

Completely agree. Their glowups are INSANE.

Even though Gwikki is my otp, I really liked Gwen and Cole together. They were really sweet together and it was nice seeing Gwen navigate a serious relationship for the first time.

When it comes to Nate and Leia, I hated them for so long until like March. Then I started shipping them for their potential, chemistry, and prettiness hahaha.

In canon, I don’t want Neia to happen tho. Aside from the fact that Jeia is my otp and I don’t anyone to touch them, in season 2, it’s canon that they only used each other for comfort so I can’t see them getting together at all haha.

Tysm! Hope you are too!

[desultory-novice]

 DanganRonpa CAN be scary, I think in particular, the creepily directed "executions", thanks to their uncanny animation style, can shake one up a bit to watch. Although 70% of the time, they are so silly in :cough: execution it douses the horror of what's happening on screen somewhat. (The first game's first execution is generally ranked as the most violent, and that's because it was a holdover from when the game leaned way more into grunge-horror.) A few of the murders lean on the grisly side, but I think most are more shocking than "gross." And then there's the pink blood!

Once you get past all that, DR is a very excellent story of not just :cough: hope (...I know...) but humanity and what it means to face yourself and hopefully, rise above. The characters are forced into a killing game, and the mastermind's goal usually leans (among other things) on painting a really nasty portrait of people. How "easy" it is to get someone to sink to this level where they'll murder people they're supposed to cooperate with or be friends.

But what you come away from in each case, generally, is sympathy and a sense of loss. For the victim and the murderer. DR is unarguablly EXCELLENT at turning you around on characters. Making you hate someone you loved, love someone you hated, or circle right back around to your first impression!

I adore DR for its depiction of how our best qualities WILL find a way to shine through, even in our worst moments. That even the death of a "jerk" is a tragedy, to someone, somewhere. Everyone (?) has a story in DR. The world isn't "black and white" despite the presence of Monobear.

It's honestly uplifting and powerful. Some of the best "death game" stories are, but DR still holds a position near the top for its creativity, wit, and message. (Minus points for some stuff that's pretty uncomfortable across a variety of spectrums, though your mileage will vary on that. And there are a honestly a FEW weak characters across the franchise, I'll admit.)

DanganRonpa V3 is one of my favorite video games of all time though - beating out DR2, which was itself incredibly good. (Although 2's protagonist, Hajime Hinata, remains my favorite DR character, hands down. Hinata's just one of those impactful characters who changed my life in a good way.)

...Btw, the anime adaptation of 1 is generally fine, but Dangan Ronpa 3 (anime series, different from the V3 game) is awful, and it is every "bad" thing you've ever heard about DR. It is unnecessarily violent and mean, relishes in how much humanity sucks, goes against the general care DR treated its characters with till now, relies on deus ex machina and "gotcha" moments instead of clever murder puzzles (and absolutely wastes the premise of borrowing from one of my favorite analog games :grumble grumble:) and doesn't add anything to the story or mythos you couldn't already have figured out on your own. It has ONE good (?) character in it and <spoilers> they don't make it. To me, it also weakens the earlier games in a way I can't even get into without spoilers, but a certain reveal turned one of my other favorite characters into one of my least favorite. Apologies to anyone who likes it for having to make it through that paragraph but... no. I even rewatched it recently and still... no.

...

...Darn it, all this talk about DanganRonpa made me go back and binge watch all Chapter 2 of DR The After. Grah! That trial is SO good it's unfair that DR The After is only a DR fan game/doujin work! (Mind you, a fan game with amazing production values. The VA knock it out of the park! And the writing...!)

The twists and turns. The interplay. The final reveals!

Literally a work I'm willing to wait the additional 5+ years it will probably take to finish. (Though I'd love if we could get to at least the beginning trial portion of Chapter 3 sometime in 2023...? :fingers crossed:)

While I'm talking to myself about a fan game very few have likely experienced, have a 30 second sketch of Hatami, Super High School Level Good Boy.

...And yes, I totally ended this post by sketching a character from a DR fan game instead of someone from the mainline series.

[lizsurvived]

I have to admit, no one knows about my secret lil tumbler about what happened to me. The people in my life know it happened but no one else; but they have no clue I'm doing this. Ig its because I know it's intense. But honestly, idk if anything will come of this tumbler. But either way, I think it's important that I keep writing.

My current partner (not my monster of an ex) is the kindest, gentlest and most caring and affectionate man. I love him so much. I hope it lasts forever lol, we are so alike and we have so much fun together. We respect each other and are very communicative. He's aware of everything that happened with my ex.

I still can't really believe it happened.

What's worse is that I had gone back to see him yet again, a week after it happened. I know. What the fucking fuck was wrong with me, you're asking yourself. I'm asking myself the same thing. I must have had insane Stockholm syndrome... He was very manipulative. I was manic and completely alone in the world with no friends or family who I could see in person to talk to. Don't worry, I made it out without a scratch that time, and will never go back.

My current partner and I met about 7 months ago about 2 months after I moved closer to my sister. We were off and on for a while because he and I both have mental illness and couldn't seem to communicate well enough. He broke up with me kind of, he claims I was forcing him into doing it. Who knows who was right about that, we we're both so out of it mentally, both of us were all over the place. Now, we are both medicated and it's night and day.

I don't think I've ever known true love until I met my current partner. He is everything a man ought to be. I love him for all of him. The good and the bad (although with him, the good outweighs the bad every single fucking time). I also feel that he and I love each other equally. One doesn't love one more than the other. We love each other completely. He's a nerd which I resonate with lol. And he's extremely talented! I fell in love with him almost instantly. Our bond was strong and our chemistry was everything.

Then he broke up with me one night out of the blue after a month of dating. My sister wrote me off for about 5 months for a while... You have to understand, she and I were best friends my entire life... I had no one to talk to. No one to go to. I was so depressed and so sad... I admit that's when I drove to see my ex. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know that my current partner would later contact me again to reconnect... I definitely wouldn't have done what I did. I was so love sick... Its hard to explain and it's just... A lot. I know.

My current partner spoke of how he feels guilty.. my sister and I recently reconnected and I felt that I had to tell her what happened while we werent talking. I had to tell her that my first thought when I was about to pass out from being strangled was that I was never going to see my sister again or my family again.

The relief I feel now that my sister and I are talking again... Is so immense. It feels as if I was in an ice bath whereas now my body feels more at ease and my mind feels less burdened.

It's hard not to feel responsible for what he did to me. I knew he was dangerous. I guess I just truly didn't expect anything like that to happen to me. Didn't think he could go that far. People should know about what he did. I'm just too afraid to tell anyone who he is for fear of his reaction if or when he finds out. I'm terrified of him and so should anyone be.

He has put multiple men in hospitals. When he fights he wins. He is scary. He has violent priors. Very manipulative. I'm extremely concerned for his next girlfriend. I'm worried he could definitely kill someone... I have basically no legal leg to stand on except for a t shirt with blood and DNA all over it from that night.

Please. If you know anyone who does pro bono law or knows someone who does, if they think I have a leg to stand on, please drop me a line.

[celestialcass]

extremely personal trauma vent about one of my sexual assaulters following me on here YEARS after I told him to leave me alone

CW/TW: SA, CSA, harassment, being threatened with suicide

just discovered my ex-friend who SA'd me was still following me on here and interacted with my stuff as recently as this September... I'm sick to my fucking stomach i had blocked his number, all his other social medias, just missed this account I guess... I told him to leave me alone in 2018 I didn't want to think about him today or EVER again... blocked him now but now I'm so anxious that he had backups... i thought i was safe on here at least from him but I guess that's too much to ask for.

I'm gonna get this out now and hopefully not have to think about it again but he SA'd me and it took me a long time to come to terms with that since I have a stupidly long history of SA because I was an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic CHILD for almost all of it. At least 5 times [that I can remember, I know I was drugged at least once but am unsure if anything happened] between age 9-21 and he was 2 of those times.

Confronting him about it he started crying and begging me to stay his friend, but the whole time we were friends he constantly used me as a therapist about his depression, tried to kiss me multiple times without consent, then assaulted me and when I finally cut him off he spam called me for a whole weekend threatening to commit suicide if I didn't talk to him, which is a sensitive topic for me because my grandma and a friend of mine committed suicide within months of each other when I was 13. This made me suicidal for the only time in my life [didn't attempt] and this low point is when I met him, so it really comes full circle huh.

This whole experience led me to giving proof that he assaulted me to the police[the ONE time i ever interacted with them and they helped even a little, they wound up going to his house and telling him to leave me alone but i didn't get a restraining order bc i didn't want to have to see him in court, also he's white so involving the police as an indigenous enby i was in far greater danger] as this stupid asshole ADMITTED it over text. I really didn't want him to graduate to legit stalking but I guess internet stalking is fair game to him??? fucking creep

anyways block/report spazman017 [not @ ing him bc cmon] if he's still active bc this man SUCKS [and has an ableist username too wtf] I still get jumpy around men who look similar to him and this whole reminder just activated my stupid fight-or-flight response

Love all of my followers that AREN'T people who SA'd me in the past, sorry about the trauma dump I just had to get this out.