#my epic battle i want it
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nthflower · 1 year ago
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Wait I prepared crazy for death red because I read many comments how deathly hard it is I even prepared my mysterious serums for just this fight and go home take all my big guns and it was a FUCKİNG JOKE.
I feel mariner so hard. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Holy shit. I never fall for a joke this hard in my life.
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schrodingerseurydice · 2 months ago
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odysseus the moment when, for the first time in 20 years, nobody is trying to kill him: whelp, guess it's time to kms
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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 1 month ago
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Ultratober day 1-3: Favorite Soundtrack
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greenerteacups · 3 months ago
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oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT
oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.
SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)
so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!
so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.
the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!
now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.
here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.
but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.
so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.
anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.
#using the tags as a footnote system here but in order:#1. quentin MAY not be dead according to some theories but in the text he is a charred corpse#2. arianne is great and i love her but to be honest. my girl is kinda dumb. just 2 b real.#3. faegon is totally a blackfyre i think it's so obvious it may well be text at this point#it's almost r+l = j level man like it's kind of just reading comprehension at this point#4. relatedly there are some characters i think GRRM has endings picked out for and some i think he specifically does NOT#i think stannis melisandre jon and daenerys all will end up the same. jon and dany war crimes => murder/banishment arc is just classic GRRM#but i think jon's reasoning will be different and it'll be better-written.#im sorry but babygirl shireen IS getting flambeed. in response stannis will commit epic battle suicide killing all boltons i hope#brienne will live but in some tragic 'stay awhile horatio' capacity. likely she will try to die defending her liege and fail#faegon will die there's zero chance blackfyres win ever#now jaime/cersei I do NOT think he knows. my brothers in christ i don't think this motherfucker knows who the valonqar is!!#same with tyrion i think that the author in GRRM wants to do a nasty corruption arc + kill him off but the person in him loves him too much#sansa i have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. we just don't know enough about the northern conspiracy to tell#w/ arya i think he has... ideas. i don't think she's going to sail off to Explore i am almost certain that the show doing that was a cover#because the actual idea he gave them was unsavory or nonviable for some reason. bc like.#why would arya leave bran and jon and sansa? the family she's just spent her whole life fighting to come back to and avenge?#this is suspicious this does not feel like arya this does not feel right#bran will not be king or if he is it'll be in a VERY different way not the dumbfuck 'let's vote' bullshit#i personally think bran is going to go full corruption arc and become possessed by the 3 eyed raven. but that could be a pipe dream#the thing is he's way too OP in the show so the books have to nerf him and i think GRRM is still trying to work out#a way to actually do that.#i don't think he told them what happened with littlefinger or sansa. i think sansa's story is vaguely similar#(stark restoration through the female line etc)#but the queen in the north shit is way too contrived frankly. and selfishly i hope she gets something different#being a monarch in ASOIAF is not a happy ending. we know this from the moment we meet robert baratheon in AGOT#and we learn exactly what GRRM thinks of the people who 'win' these endless wars of succession#and they are not heroes#they are not celebrated#and they are neither safe nor happy
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iamsweetchaos · 1 month ago
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sumn abt miku and fortnite
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evilbeing · 7 months ago
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Im taking for granted that Angrboda and Skjöldr are friends bc they met (thats it, thats my reason idc)
But how would their friendship be like ???
Please I need headcanons for them PLEASE EHAHSHSH
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ecogirl2759 · 2 months ago
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God DAMMIT I need to be SLEEPING but I'm thinking about HIMMMMMMMM
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camille-lachenille · 2 years ago
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Sometimes, the only thing making me power through the day is this scene.
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telesilla · 1 year ago
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Man, I hate to be That Older Person, but every few years, circumstances force me to pull an all nighter, and every fucking time it gets harder and harder, so if you’re young and can stay up for *checks* 30 hours and counting, enjoy it while you can.
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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 6 months ago
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having shrimp emotions abt the end of shb again
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imsickenedbutcurious · 2 years ago
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No I'm not fine I desperately want more Shun and Julie friendship dynamics
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was playing dnd and in the middle of a battle an evil tiger man appeared and i immediately assumed it was whatever the fuck kuba kenta is and my life flashed before my eyes. turns out the dm hadnt even heard of those funny demon tigers this guy is just a tabaxi <33
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artaphant · 2 months ago
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Guys hear me out.
Fearne and/or Imogen take control of Predathos- use the gate created to slourp all the gods onto Ruidus. The gods of Exandria all live on the moon like they have in their divine gates and have a physical plane that is the moon.
Vox Machina take control of the gate, the Mighty Nein topple the Weave Mind so the intensity of this massive fight that is coming no matter what will subside. Bell's Hells take their strike mission to Ludinus. Liliana accepts Predathos and lets herself be the conduit to solve the conflicts. Like the Crownkeepers, the party is now bodyguards for all of the holy forces that will be coming through. Liliana is the final boss that stands against each of the gods as the goddess of change. Ioun can give the Hells the power to kill a god if Predathos really becomes a danger to humanity but I think he can live.
People are going to fight; they have their convictions and those convictions are literally what everyone lives and dies on. People can also work together and I hope that's what the gods can all figure out- how to live, rather than exist forever.
Just, Gods are on the moon. Gods are the tiny flashing red moon thank you- Matthew Mercer for providing a simple answer to a complex spiritual question. I would also like to pitch a fighting game- maybe even a TTRPG where you create your own party of warriors to fight moon-monsters and members of the CR cast to ultimately take down Predathos.
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goldensunset · 2 months ago
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so we back in the mines (mistralton cave)
#goldie plays pokémon black… 2!!!#finally found an axew with mold breaker#bc i was dumb the first time and left with the first one i saw#like ‘there’s no way to know what ability it’ll have until i check it at the pc but it’ll probably be good!’#i leave and check the pc and of course it’s rivalry instead#go all the way back through route 6 and get into the cave again#stumble around blindly in the dark bc i don’t have flash on any of my mons and i’m not wasting a move slot for it#didn’t bother getting an hm slave#also strength. i have only cleared half the boulders from the last time i was there#same deal i wasn’t gonna teach anyone that move#and then on top of that idk why the encounter rate in there has been so low today#i’m talking like having to walk for ten seconds before getting a single encounter on average#normally that would be a blessing but whew. when i WANT an encounter. smh#found another one and was like hm ok i learned my lesson i’m gonna get a few before i leave bc surely one of them will have mold breaker#right?#found a third one and then it happened. ‘the wild axew breaks the mold!’ on screen#and it occurred to me. ah yes. mold breaker is one of those abilities that is publicly announced whenever the pokémon enters battle#aka i should’ve Known the first two didn’t have it#dumb of me#ah well all’s well that ends well i found one plus she’s a girl so that’s epic and she’s slightly higher leveled than the others#her name is riju
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robot-roadtrip-rants · 1 year ago
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Ok, so when the Space Wolves show up on Macragge they're described as being dirty and smelly, and I am irrationally ticked off by this. This is Space Viking slander, how dare you. Vikings used to seduce good Christian women away from their homes with their heathenish hygiene and style. I'm dead serious, we've got records complaining about it. Norse archaeological sites dig up combs and tweezers by the boatloads. Space Wolves should be so clean and well-groomed that whole-ass planets swoon into compliance. I will die on this hill.
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sweetenby · 10 months ago
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That one Rudolph lesbian post has me all kinds of fucked up
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Me foaming at the mouth desperate to explain that male work animals are more often than not castrated vs clamping my mouth shut bc then I'd be siding with a homophobe vs knowing it's meaningless bc the animators didn't care about any of that and just gave the reindeer antlers bc it looks good
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