#my entire life is a crisis

[haunted-xander]

Who's the "real" me?

+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3

[nethnad]

thinking about time lords and their fucked up little society again and i just realized how devastating the revelation of the drums in the end of time is in relation to the master's character.

because of all the renegade time lords in the universe, i think it's the master who most exemplifies the philosophical outlook that the time lords have towards the rest of the universe. they're stuffy observers, administrators, yes - but this position is one they've decided for themselves because of this concept of supremacy over other life forms. imposed and upheld this idea that other species that lack a time sense are less-than, primitive. and the master buys into this hard.

and i mean... compared to the doctor, the master is good at being a time lord. he buys into these supremacist concepts, this idea that every other species (and especially humans) is practically a meaningless ant in the grand scheme of the universe. takes it to the extreme, yes, but its the same underlying principle. he's a good student (despite whatever chibnall might think) - that one time lord from terror of the autons (identity forever a mystery) (its brax) even says "he did receive a higher degree of cosmic science than you." the master could play their game if he wanted to. he's remarkably comfortable with being on gallifrey/the idea of gallifrey(in eot/tlotl) than the doctor ever is. where the doctor avoids the subject of the lord presidency like the plague, the master is like "well if you kill the president you ARE the president! and then you have all of gallifrey!" and when the doctor destroys gallifrey (nominally), the master tries to rebuild it in the sound of drums/last of the time lords. tries to emulate their society. honor them in his little fucked up way. he brings them back from the time war!

and what does he get for it? how did the time lords treat him in response?

they decide to implant the sound of drums in his head, stretching back until he's a child. puts this insufferable noise, this splitting headache, in his head for his entire life. all so that they may live while he dies. because he is diseased, because of them. he has swallowed the pill, bought their propaganda, he has followed the rules, he tried to rebuild them he tried. and in response he is chewed up and spit out like trash so that rassilon's god complex can survive while the universe crumbles.

how crushing must that be to someone? to have your whole worldview - that you are better, you are chosen, you are special - come crumbling down in a few short moments? to see the revered founder-god of the civilization you have so desperately tried to revive look at you and say "you are diseased," even though he was the one to poison you in the first place?

and as his heart is torn to pieces... when rassilon says "no more," and charges his gauntlet, the master - who has spent countless lives fighting death with his bare hands - does not move.

part of me thinks he does not want to.

[blueskittlesart]

How do you feel about concepts for redeemed/good guy Ganondorf? I don't remember if you've said anything on it before, so I am curious to see what sorts of thoughts you have to share or if you've thought about the idea before (especially since you've worked on SoF so I assume you've thought about many possibilities of a "what if" Zelda game)

For my part: I have mixed feelings, and I think a lot of concepts end up being "I want a buff guy to ship Link with"; I also think a lot of criticisms of the racism in many depictions of Ganondorf have merit (though I don't speak on them in depth because I'm white) and would love to see a more favorable/complex portrayal of him and other characters of color in LoZ. I personally haven't seen many versions of good guy/redeemed Ganondorf that really engage with the base structure of the LoZ games but I would love to see one that did.

Anyways I love your blog and analysis and I love seeing someone who finds analysis as inherently a part of their engagement with fandom as me, it's really nice :) I hope you're having a good day

I never posted about it much but sof did actually have a somewhat redeemed ganondorf, or as close to "good guy" as i'm willing to go with him in my own writing. sof was/is very much about me exploring the religious aspects of the lore and issues of fate vs self-determination, so my ganondorf was a much younger version of the character (similar in age to link and zelda) born into an extremist hylia-worshipping doomsday cult. in sof, ganondorf finds the remains of DEMISE'S sword and believes it to be the master sword, so when it starts ordering him around he follows the orders without question, believing that he's hearing the voice of hylia, and basically everyone in his life affirms to him that this is the correct choice and he's hylia's chosen one. Because of the intensity of the religious doctrine he was raised with, he has no problem following the sword's orders even when they become progressively more and more violent, and by the time link and zelda get to him he's nearly past the point of no return. (this is also partially a product of the setting I chose to put sof in--it's one of if not the first cycles after sksw, so the hyruleans' understanding of the reincarnation cycle and their own general history isn't super solid.) So that's my personal take on a "good guy" ganondorf, and, i think, the way i'd like to see it done in canon if ever they choose to go that route--because loz deals so much with the concepts of fate and cycles, I think leaning into a ganondorf who isn't inherently evil but can't escape the fate that waits for him is a fun way to take it.

[its-your-mind]

what the fuck. what the fuck what the fu k.

rick riordan I am a whole ass adult now how tf are you taking a wrecking ball to my emotions AT THIS POINT. SHOULDN’T WE BE PAST THIS.

what the fuck Meg took in all of her foster siblings to help them live a life after Nero. she’s showing them a world that can be kind, where people will say what they mean, and where mistakes don’t deserve punishment.

BUT THEN ALSO. Apollo. Went back.

And for Meg and her siblings, everything about their lives has changed and improved. But Apollo just… goes back to Olympus. Where Zeus continues to rule with an iron fist, where no one was even able to stick up for him, where every other Olympian lives in fear of Zeus’s anger. And he’s still there, he’s still in charge, but Apollo knows BETTER now. He knows that things can be different. He knows that he can be different, and he’s making the decision to be better now than he was before.

But now he doesn’t fit. He doesn’t fit with the Olympians, who weren’t a healthy family even before this, and he doesn’t fit with his new friends, either, because he’s a god again. He can go see them and talk with them and help them, but he’ll always have to leave again. He can never stay.

The last few chapters of The Tower of Nero were so beautiful and amazing - getting to see everyone else living their happy endings (as much as any demigod can), but they were always tinged with… loneliness. Apollo is separate from them all again. He can teleport at will, he can change his appearance to anything, he can separate his consciousness… and that’s all great, he wanted all of that back…

But by the end? He kind of wanted to stay human. And there’s no resolution for him. He’s gone through this incredible, difficult, terrifying, life-changing adventure… and he came back, and everything’s the same. Kinda makes me think of Luke, going off on his quest, coming back different, harder, sharper… and finding Camp exactly like how he left it, with everyone expecting him to just slot himself back into the place he had before, when that space doesn’t fit him anymore.

And Apollo has what Luke didn’t - friends who knew him as he was changing, who love this new person he’s become, and even a sister whose affection won’t change no matter what happens. He’s going to be okay, I know that.

But there’s just… something so quietly tragic in the end of Apollo’s story. He doesn’t get his own personal happy ending. His “triumph” is a return to a divine status that he’s not necessarily sure he even wants anymore. He has to forge his own path forward towards his own happiness, and we don’t get to join him on it. We got to be with him through his Trials - his future is up to him, now.

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

[jackshiccup]

despite knowing what was going to happen, snotlout's redemption and eventual downfall was so so heartbreaking to me. we spend the past 10 books witnessing how much he's tormented and bullied hiccup that we all feel the same anger and frustration and resentment as fishlegs does in the beginning of 11. i was, maybe, even rooting for something a little bad to happen to him so that he can feel even a fraction of the humiliation that he put hiccup through. but time and time again hiccup, with his inherent goodness and wonderful capacity to always try and see the best in people, reminds us that people need and deserve second chances. even third, fourth and fifth chances. even when hiccup was faced with the certainty that snotlout was set on betraying him from the start.

that's why it was so satisfying to get to the emotional catharsis of the swordfight. snotlout practically begging for hiccup to hate him and hiccup genuinely not having it in him to be able to. and even after that, even after he disarms hiccup and is seconds from killing him - he doesn't. and then hiccup comforts snotlout through it. he tells him words that snotlout didn't know he's been desperate to hear. he tells him he's being too hard on himself. he tells him he's a hero. he opens a door inside snotlout's life for the first time in a long time. despite everything, he offers him another choice to join the dragonmarkers. and snotlout accepts. he bows to hiccup, he calls him king, pledges his sword to his service forever, shakes his hand and chooses to bear the dragonmark.

and it's this moment we finally seeing the seeds of change planted in snotlout sprout - instigated by gobber teaching him a lesson in the amber slavelands and reminding him what the black star represents: pride, honour, bravery. all the times we see snotlout give in to vulnerability and ponder on his choices, he's always holding onto it. which makes it all the more symbolic when he hangs it around hiccup's neck during his last act of valour.

just like how the book tells us that the tides can change so fast, through hiccup, my heart was able to give snotlout another chance too. and it's because of hiccup's belief in snotlout's potential for more that makes you feel so strongly about his death. snotlout's excitement at finally being on hiccup's side, at doing what's right, at having the opportunity to actually be a hero - we can't help but feel that burst of pride, we can't help but root for him. and so we feel the loss, as hiccup did. and it's a point driven home when hiccup ends the epilogue with how he’s carried snotlout and his sacrifice with him all throughout his life. and how time has rubbed away at the black star.

that now the star doesn't look black at all. just gold.

[ki1ldeer]

Classes started… already sick of this (I haven’t even been to my first class yet). Drew my boys to decompress ✌️😞

[psychiatricwarfare]

i wish i could know everything. like, sure, it might break my brain but im just so curious about everything and how everything works down to mircoscopic and macroscopic levels. i want to know the history of every culture, every historical figure, every poet, everyone whos ever made a footprint in the sand. i want to understand the combination of chemicals and electric pulses throughout a brain that make up what a consciousness is and what it means to be a self aware animal. i want to dive into a black hole and come back unscathed. i want to die and come back. i want to feel everything and learn everything there is to possibly know. i want to understand the secrets of the universe and i will never have enough time. i will never be able to know absolutely everything and it kills me. i just want to understand

[wonder-worker]

Seaxburh of Wessex [...] is the only woman to appear in an Anglo-Saxon regnal list. She was the wife of Cenwalh, king of the West Saxons, who had at one time been married to and repudiated the sister of Penda of Mercia, thereby provoking the latter’s ire [and leading to his own temporary exile, possibly alongside his new queen]. Bede recorded that after Cenwalh’s death there was a troubled period during which sub-kings ‘took upon themselves the government of the kingdom, dividing it up and ruling for about ten years.’ [It is very likely that he deliberately omitted any mention of Seaxburh as he viewed her marriage to Cenwalh, and subsequent right to the throne, as illegitimate]. The ASC, on the other hand, says that in 672, ‘Cenwalh died and his queen Seaxburh reigned one year after him.’

-Annie Whitestead, 'Women and Power in Anglo-Saxon England' / Stefany Wragg, "Early English Queens, 650-850"

'Later medieval sources characterize [Seaxburh's] reign in different ways. William of Malmesbury praises her military and political accomplishments, doing all that was required of a king but also ruling ‘her subjects mercifully … [she] did everything, in short, in such a way that there was no difference to be seen, except her sex’. [In the thirteenth century, Roger of Wendover claimed that Seaxburh ruled for one year in Cenwalh’s stead, ‘but was expelled [from] the kingdom by the indignant nobles, who would not go to war under the conduct of a woman.']

[tiffanybluesclues]

Every week someone makes a post about how annoying it is that Dick Grayson fans don't acknowledge his flaws, and every week someone replies with an explanation that the flaws OP listed are entirely fanon and inconsistent with canon as it actually happened and at this point I have to assume that none of those explanations are ever going to stick because clearly some people just want the fanon to be true.

Anyway, I'm just putting this here for me to edit and add relevant-to-the-topic links later so I'll have them nicely at hand to read and sooth my frustrations when it gets real bad out there. (Echo chambers are good when we use them to drown out character mischaracterizing fanon.)

[commsroom]

i can't stop thinking about eiffel's birthday. he's almost forty. there's no way he ever thought he would live to be forty, by bad luck or bad habits; he was facing twenty-six years in prison before he was thirty, he thought he'd die in deep space (in a multitude of ways), and even before all of that... i don't think eiffel ever planned to have a future, not really. he's almost forty. he's old enough to watch his daughter grow up. to get gray in his hair. to have all of the junk food he's eaten in his life finally catch up to him.

and on the other side of that, you know he teased minkowski relentlessly when she turned forty, with no foresight that it would one day be him. and he is so, so lucky she's not as petty as she could be. i don't think turning forty bothered her that much, but eiffel? oh he's going to have a crisis. he should get a motorcycle; he tinkers with it and shows it off and talks about it constantly, but he never learns how to actually ride it. he keeps putting that part off.

he's turning forty. i realize the implications of that really depend on how you feel about eiffel post-canon, in a variety of ways. but to me it's like a celebration of his long history of unlikely survival. it's so funny and heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measure, and i think that's a very doug eiffel combination of emotions.

[clegfly]

‘Puter mari can’t read rooms. Or screens I guess

[fleshdyk3]

god i fucking hate my dad

[tiptoeing-the-fractures]

Piper<3

[shrikeseams]

.

[lnsfawwi]

Heroism in TFATWS

Let's establish one thing which is that the show operates in a superhero trope, which means there are good guys and bad guys, and the good guys always win. This is not to say that characters are morally clean-cut between good/bad. The Flag Smashers acted out of good intentions; Walker did want to do good things when he took over the mantle. But that doesn't mean they aren't the bad guys in the story, because a person is not only judged by their intentions but also the means and the ends of those intentions.

Sam and Bucky are the heroes in the story, they beat the bad guys (the Flag Smashers) and saved the world. That's how the story ends. That's how all the superhero stories end.

But the show isn't quite that simple, not in the sense that it deals with moral greys, no. Rather, the show really fucks up the boundaries between good/bad, right/wrong, and by extension, the heroism of the show.

Let's say Karli has some vague cosmopolitan worldview, and let's say that's better than the state system so Sam is justified to sympathize with her cause, and sam is rightfully asking the governments to be better. What's the actual, feasible way to achieve Karli's vision? Nice speeches notwithstanding, Sam isn't offering a solution. States aren't going to abandon the system that made them a state just because some hero dressed in an American flag descends from the sky and tells them to. Forced displacement and/or re-settlement happen because the population distribution is screwed, especially in Western Europe where Karli is from. Those states simply do not have the capacity, spatially and financially, to accommodate all the people while the others would be faced with devastating labour shortages. Statecraft is not just about morals, some IR scholars would even argue it's never about morals, you have to do the rationalist calculation. (also sam's speech to the politicians is so.........wrong. it sounds like a 16-year-old wanna-be socialist who spends too much time on leftist tiktok)

Here's the thing, you can agree with the political ideology or not, because it's not about whether it's right or wrong. It's about Sam being a hero who comes from a heavy political background, who represents a set of values that is meant to transcend a single country, advocating that ideology whilst being completely naive about it.

Steve embodies a similar idealism that makes him a hero, but not a leader. He's a leader because he can lead, he assesses the situation, sets a goal, and gives out tasks to achieve that goal. In the show, Sam is not demonstrating effective leadership, although not entirely his fault.

When you have the 'hero' indiscriminatorily endorsing the villain's philosophy, it doesn't mean the hero is empathetic, it means the hero is fucking bullshit. What makes a hero isn't merely stopping bad guys, it's also offering a better alternative even when the villain kinda makes sense. Superheroes are supposed to offer moral lessons through their heroism, which often takes place as they defeat evil. Without that, they're just dudes stopping fights, not heroes fighting for causes. The only moral lesson Sam offers is 'hey maybe radicalization is bad', which is completely ignored by both Karli and Zemo.

Sam's sympathy towards Karli is even more absurd. Even if he agrees with her cause, she's an unrepentant killer. 'Don't call them terrorists.' really, Sam? What would you call them? Just bc the Soviets fought the N@zis doesn't mean they were the good guys.

Furthermore, we see the contrast between her and the other flag smashers. They were invisible victims while her body was gently carried by Sam as phones and cameras were recording. In a show where they tried to make sense of racism, the stark contrast between Karli and the rest of the group happens to be mostly PoC is kinda hilarious.

The problem isn't Sam. It's the terrible horrible writing. You can't take a Watsonian take when it's so obviously a Doylist problem. The show claims to be a lot of things it got wrong is just pathetic.

What about Bucky? His arc is pretty detached from the main storyline and he basically did nothing significant in the show so I don't even know what they want to convey about his heroism. He was literally just running around punching people (not even very good at it too) while being blamed for things he wasn't responsible for. He only told Karli that killing was bad. What a novel lesson. Again, there is nothing from the good guy.

Who is the hero then?

Zemo is the true anti-hero of the show. Throughout the show, Sam and Bucky - the good guys - oppose killing in general, but their method is proven ineffectual and in the end, all Flag Smashers are killed with a majority of them killed after they were lawfully arrested. The Flag Smashers were terrorists, they were the villains, therefore narratively, this makes Zemo's end goal - killing all supersoldiers, in this case, the Flag Smashers - right. His ideology - the desire to become superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideas; supersoldiers cannot be allowed to exist - is positively reflected in the story. His success inevitably justifies his ideology, which stands in contrast to both Sam and Karli. I'm not saying what he did was heroic, but from a storytelling perspective, Zemo is the 'hero' who ultimately eliminated the evil in this superhero trope.

The result is that Sam, the supposed hero of the show, has done nothing. He didn't stop the bad guys, he didn't offer an effective alternative to Karli (or Zemo) practically and ideologically, while Zemo did all that. What does it say about heroism and the idealism that comes with it? That it's nice to talk about but useless when a real battle takes place? That end does justify means? Because that's not what Cap trilogy conveys.