#i know i could do better if i just didnt have to deal with bullshit 24/7

[slutdge]

god idk whats wrong with my brain it doesnt matter how tired i am as soon as i lay down to try and sleep i feel like im having a heart attack and being hunted for sport

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

stalker!dylric fanfic

includes kidnapping, cutting, bondage, unrequited romance, noncon, piss, etc.

note: its finally done. enjoy your slop/j. my break isnt over, but this is a big fanfic so i needed to post it. told you guys i didnt forget about it!

and through her window shade

i watch her shadow move

i wonder if she could only see me?

and when im with her I feel fine

if I could kiss her

i wouldnt mind the time it took to find

my lily, my one and only

“doing what?”

“all this back and forth crap! im not wasting my time on your bullshit.”

“im not wasting your time, you wont listen!”

“i dont want to fucking listen anymore. i dont need *you* anymore.”

“what the hell do you mean?”

“does it matter? just get the hell out of my house, dylan.”

-

dylan pulls his hair back into a short ponytail, making sure its out of the way. he pulls his hat on - backwards as always.

he glanced over to his desk, a bottle of chloroform sits waiting with a rag.

he had planned this for awhile now. it was always just a matter of when.

dylan and eric were best friends, always had been, but dylans thoughts and feelings were different about the other.

they both wrote in journals, but dylans journals had become littered with unsavory thoughts of his friend.

stalker wasnt a word he wanted to associate with himself, but thats what he was. he had been stalking his friend - plain and simple.

its easier when your person of interest is your friend. you know everything, you see everything, and you *feel* everything.

even when he wasnt supposed to be around, he was. he always found a way to be there and to know everything.

he grabs his black trench coat off the bed, putting it over himself and slipping his arms through. an action hes done many times before.

he picks up a pair of black leather gloves, slipping them over his hands and fingers. he listens to the creaks and cracks of the leather as he flexes his hands.

he didnt want to get anything on his hands.

he takes the rag and chloroform off his desk, stuffing them in his pockets before heading out for erics house.

-

getting into erics house was no big deal. he had a key that he may or may not have stolen himself.

it was late at night, everyone would be asleep anyway. he just had to be quiet.

erics bedroom being in the basement made it all the better.

he walked down the basement stairs, the old wood creaking under his combat boots, before reaching his friends room.

he pulled out the bottle and the rag, struggling to take the cap off but eventually managing.

he pours the liqud onto the rag, watching it roll off his glove and onto the floor. he swipes it away with his boot.

hes always prepared. eric would wake up he was sure.

he closed the bottle and shoved it back into his pocket, keeping the rag in one hand.

he opened the door to the others room, stepping inside and seeing his sleeping figure outlined by the covers on his bed.

he walks over quietly, admiring his form. eric wasnt much, but, god, did dylan think he was perfect.

he was laid in bed with the blanket pulled up to about the middle of his stomach, obviously having been displaced.

he was wearing his black and red kmfdm shirt as well as one of those soft, fuzzy pairs of pajama pants. he looked beautiful like this and he was sad hed have to ruin it.

he placed a gloved hand to the side of his face, just barely touching. he wished he didnt have the gloves on so he could feel his skin, but he had to make do. he rubbed his thumb over his cheek, taking in all the sharp, angled parts of his face.

he swallowed hard, reminding himself that he had work to do.

like stated before he had been planning this for awhile. he had all the details and plans down, but he never knew when he would do it or if he would at all.

however eric gave him a reason. he told him off and didnt want to be around him anymore - throwing their years of friendship away. that didnt go over well with dylan.

he eventually pulled his hand away from his face, but not without an issue.

the brunettes eyes fluttered opened from the disturbance, taking a second to adjust to the darkness, before being well aware of the figure standing above him.

dylan, panicking even though he’d known this would happen, is quick to hold his friend down and put the rag right over his face.

he wasnt as gentle as he wouldve liked to have been, but he couldnt help it. he blamed it on the boy he was holding down. he wouldnt just let it happen - he was trying to get him off and fight it.

however, the blondes height advantage and strength was quick to overthrow whatever power the other was using. he wasnt weak or pathetic, no, but he had been around him for so long he knew how to take him down.

the position itself made him feel confident. he was now over top of him on the bed, keeping him pinned down with his free hand.

“cmon, cmon, just let it happen.” his voice comes out in a hiss, listening to the muffled voice of eric trying to talk - probably telling him to fuck off or something.

however, hes thankful it only took a moment longer, because soon enough he was limp and unconscious, just what dylan needed.

he lets up, pulling the rag away from his face and sitting up on his knees.

he swallowed hard at the sight, but he couldnt let himself get carried away here - he had a plan to stick to.

he shoved the rag back into his pocket, getting off the bed and standing on his feet.

he picks the brunette up with ease - having practiced this. he would pick him up just to “make him mad” and to “tease him”, but it was really just so hed know how to take care of this part.

the weight of his body in his arms and the warmth he gave off felt so *good*.

he managed to get him up the stairs with minor difficulty, quickly getting him out of the house and carrying him out and down to his car.

he gets the back door open, carefully putting his friend across the back seat.

he stared for a moment with a small smile on his face, pleased with himself and the work hes done.

he leans down, placing a kiss to the others forehead. it was so gentle and sweet - a stark contrast to how he had to almost manhandle him before.

he stepped back, closing the door and going over to his side.

he could only hope that this would work the way he planned it to.

-

dylan took much care with eric when it came to bringing him inside his house.

he wasnt worried about the obvious issue of his family - they were out and werent going to be back for awhile. it was some trip that dylan decided to miss out on for this purpose.

he didnt want to just “keep” his friend either. this was temporary - their plans were only just a week or two away and he wanted to have time with him before then.

and to convince him he couldnt do it alone.

it was a two man job. there was no way eric could do it by himself, but after telling dylan to fuck off and to never speak to him again, he was trying to find a way to do it alone.

there was only about two weeks left - he couldnt change his plans that quickly and to that degree. besides, the school was massive - too many risks and dangers to doing it alone.

dylan decided to keep eric in his room, taking him in there and laying him down on the bed.

once again he looked beautiful - like some fucked up kind of angel.

he didnt know how long the chloroform would last on him, but he would be more then happy to keep him like this for forever.

however, once again, he doesnt let himself get too distracted.

dylan didnt want to have to restrain eric, but after all he knew him better then anyone else - he was not going to be particularly thrilled once he woke up.

he had gotten rope before hand, the standard stuff youd normally think of, and he gently moves his friend just enough to get at his arms.

he carefully ties his wrists together, making the rope tight, but not too tight. he didnt want to give him rope burn.

after tying the rope it was just a waiting game. he had to be patient and wait for his friend to wake up whenever he did.

-

erics eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the darkness of the room.

he felt disoriented and hazy to put it simply. everything was a bit fuzzy and blurry around the corners and he wasnt entirely sure where the hell he was.

he knew this wasnt his room and he would only be proved further once he started to realize where he was.

eric didnt remember being at dylans house. he remembered falling asleep in his own bed - not here.

he sees the boy in question standing by his desk, fumbling with something while his back was turned to him.

he didnt have a reason not to say anything, so he speaks up.

“ah, shit - vee?” his voice comes out a little rough and scratchy, but the blonde turned his head immediately.

a soft smile was on his face once he saw that he was awake.

“hey, man,” he spoke softly, but sounded excited “how are you feeling?”

he gets a confused and weirded out look in return. he never asked things like that - never *sounded* like that when he talked.

“i feel like shit.” he groaned, trying to readjust, while he started to feel an ache all over his body. most likely from dylan manhandling him.

he tries to move his arms, but is only more confused when he cant.

he turned his head to look behind him, brows furrowing at seeing the fuzzy outlines of rope around his wrists.

“what - what the hells going on?” he asked, looking back at dylan who was now standing right in front of the bed.

dylan sort of stares, not sure how to answer that. he didnt just want to say he kidnapped him straight up.

“i missed you,” he settles on “i wanted to see you.”

eric scoffed, pulling at the rope and trying to get out of them “*i* dont miss you. i told you to stop talking to me,” the anger is already clear in his voice “just let me go, dylan, this isnt fucking funny.”

“who said it was supposed to be funny?,” he retorted, the look on his face way too calm “i wanted to be with you. you cant be alone.”

the look he gets back this time is disgusted and even more angered then before.

“what are you talking about? seriously, what the fuck is going *on?*”

“you *need* me, reb,” his answer still wasnt very clear “you cant live without me.”

eric was pissed at the implication. he could live without dylan - he could do anything without him.

“you have no clue what youre talking about,” he scoffed, hissing as he pulled the rope the wrong way “if - if youre talking about nbk, then youre wrong. i dont need you.”

dylan frowned “its a two man job, eric,” his voice shifts to something more serious “everything you planned needs more then one person,” he kneels on the bed, mattress dipping under his weight “and dont pull on that - youll hurt yourself.”

he grabbed eric, forcing him to sit still.

eric, though, still doesnt want to accept any of this. this was so fucked - so disgusting.

he tried to pull away from the others hands, but it doesnt work.

“i can change it, i can *make* it work,” he hissed back, still struggling “i dont need you.”

dylan stares at him, grip tightening “you *do*. how are you gonna plant the bombs? how are you gonna take care of all the exists by yourself? what about everyone left over?”

the questions linger in the air for an uncomfortable amount of time.

eric doesnt know how to answer that. he wasnt dumb, he knew he wouldnt be able to do it, but he still wanted to try anyway.

“i havent figured out the details,” is all he settled on “i wouldnt have to be changing my plans this late if it werent for you being such a creep!”

he had caught dylan doing some less then normal things in his bedroom as well as how he noticed that his clothes, especially boxers and socks, would go missing after he came over.

it wasnt hard to piece it all together.

it was why he had stopped talking to him in the first place.

however, the blonde doesnt say anything back. instead, he lets go of him and gets up before walking back over to his desk.

eric wasnt a pussy - he didnt get easily scared, but hed be lying if he said he werent scared shitless right now.

this was his friend, surely he wouldnt do anything too bad to him, but at the same time he knew that was false hope.

there was some sort of disturbing sickness that laid under the surface. hed only seen it a few times, but he knew it was there.

“what the hell are you doing now?” he still had to keep up his act - he didnt want the other to know how horrified he was.

dylan still doesnt say anything. it only makes the other nervous.

he turned around a moment later, having what looked to be a roll of tape in one hand and a knife in the other.

“i dont wanna hurt you, reb,” it wasnt a lie, he really didnt want to hurt him “but youre not cooperating with me.”

he stands there, giving him the chance to go along with this and give in, but what did he expect? he had kidnapped and tied him up. he didnt want to cooperate.

“im not “cooperating” with anything,” he scoffed, trying to pull at the ropes again “just let me fucking go, dylan!”

the blonde frowned again, but he cant make him listen without force and pain. he was just too stubborn.

so, he gets back on the bed and overtop of eric, setting the knife down and ripping off a piece of tape.

before he has much of a chance to react, he was already grabbing his face and putting the tape over his mouth.

there wasnt much of a reason other then the fact he didnt want to hear him whine and complain. it was bound to happen because of what he was gonna do and it had already started - eric trying to pull away from him, saying something, but it was muffled and inaudible.

he loved erics voice and all the things he had to say, but right now he needed him to just be quiet.

he picked the knife back up, staring at it. he didnt want to, but he was being given no other choice.

“dont make me do it,” he gives him one last chance “i dont want to hurt you.” but all he gets back is more muffled nonsense - nothing that was him cooperating.

dylan cant stall any longer, so he takes the knife and forced his friend into a better position.

he lifts up his short sleeve a little, placing the edge of the knife to his upper arm.

its only now eric completely realizes what dylans going to do. he can handle pain most of the time, but he knew his friend. if he liked this then it would be over for him.

he quickly shook his head, saying something, while he kept trying to yank his arm away.

he never really thought of dylan as scary or intimidating, but, god did he look horrifying like this. he was sat over him, holding him down with a knife pressed to his arm.

dylan dragged the edge against his skin, a light line of blood trailing after it.

he wasnt doing this to hurt him *badly*. he was just doing it to inflict pain so hed listen - he didnt care about leaving lasting marks.

although, the second cut was a little deeper and it felt *good*. it felt good to do this - it felt good to watch the blood drip out of the wound once it was opened.

he even enjoyed the hiss it pulled from eric.

he wanted nothing more then to be sweet to him, but it was intoxicating to watch the blood pool and the skin part.

he added yet another cut, even deeper this time. he watched the skin part again, breath hitching at the sight.

eric on the other hand was struggling to keep himself together. he could normally keep himself in line, but like this it was nearly impossible. he expected dylan to do light cuts - nothing that would hurt too bad, but it was already worse then that and they were only on the third cut.

of course though, it would only get worse from there. before eric knew it dylan was letting the tip of the blade sink into his skin, *ripping* open a massive wound.

the sound he lets out almost sounds like a muffled scream, tears now gathering in his eyes.

the blood gushes from the fresh wound, pouring out onto the bed and getting on their clothes. it was a lot - a lot more then the blonde wouldve expected, but it was still mesmerizing to watch regardless.

however, he noticed the tears in his eyes. he paused, a new feeling of guilt washing over him. he puts his free hand on his cheek, wiping his thumb under his eye.

“dont cry, reb,” he frowned, finding it a little off putting that he was crying, but there was still some other kind of feeling that was lurking underneath all of that “i told you to cooperate.” his voice was gentle yet stern. it was clear now that he meant anything he said.

eric doesnt let his tears spill over, absolutely revolted by the blondes sweet touch.

however, he doesnt realize just how much this really did scare him until a moment later dylan was sitting back and looking down.

there was a wet spot right over his pants and it was as clear as day.

“did - did you just…” he seems almost in disbelief as he continued to stare at it. the brunettes face was hot with shame and embarrassment.

his friend though doesnt seem to be bothered by it, instead he swallowed hard “did i really scare you that much?” its not really a question - he already knew the answer and it felt amazing.

he didnt think he could scare him this much. he didnt think he *would* scare him at all, but to be able to scare and break someone down like eric was an incredible feeling.

the shame and embarrassment on his face was even more intoxicating then the blood he spilled.

he stared for a moment longer, but then quickly finds himself yanking down his pants and boxers which was met with much struggle.

eric didnt want to think that the boy he considered his friend was really about to do this to him. it was so absurd, but clearly nothing made any sense anymore.

dylan managed to pull them off, tossing them on the floor as he took in the sight in front of him. he stares at his bony hips and thin thighs, way his skin is shiny and wet from him pissing himself, and how his cock looked.

he didnt think he could last much longer. he makes quick work of his belt and jeans as well as his own boxers, getting them down enough so that he could pull his cock out. saying he was hard was an understatement - it made the boy on the bed want to puke.

he couldnt do anything though. he was stuck like this until dylan decided he was done.

the blonde doesnt waste time in grabbing his friend, manhandling him and forcing him to lay on his stomach much to his discomfort.

hes quick to line up with him too, and eric is beyond disgusted. he wasnt gay, he didnt like other guys in this way, and if felt so weird to have him pressed against him like this.

it was a betrayal of their seemingly already ruined friendship. maybe if dylan hadnt been such a pervert then things wouldve stayed the same, but it was much too late for that now.

he held onto his waist with shaky hands, the leather of his gloves making the grip easier, before he practically shoved inside of him with a groan.

he was tight - so goddamn tight. it was warm and inviting too and he wondered why he didnt do this sooner. it felt wonderful.

the brunette was in incredible amounts of pain. never mind the cuts on his arm, now he was being forced to fit something inside of himself. it was a foreign and odd feeling - his dick was making space for itself.

it doesnt matter to the one on top though, quickly pulling out before shoving back in. he does that again, and then again until he finds a good rhythm.

he tries to be gentle, but all hope of that is thrown out the window when he hears the moan of pain he pulls out of the brunette.

his hands hold on tighter, trying to go a little rougher, but its hard with how uncomfortable the slide is. his precum made it a little slicker, but it wasnt nearly enough.

nonetheless he continued, managing to get a quicker, rougher pace.

it was *heavenly.* he thought he would never get to have anything like this, but he was so lucky to get to experience this. it wasnt agreed upon or consensual in absolute any way, but the primal need for sex seemed to override that care.

he even lets go of one hip and instead puts it on his back, forcing the curve to be flat so hed get a better angle.

the boy under him could barely breathe with how he was being pushed down - the tape over his mouth only made it more difficult. he just wanted this to be over, but he wasnt going to do anything to help that. he wouldnt let him take the rest of his dignity.

however, dylan gets the bright idea to pick up the knife again. he puts the tip of the blade onto his hip, pressing down and carving a crooked line. he added a second, the two lines coming together to form a “V”.

the sight of it alone is almost enough to make him finish, but he holds off.

eric would always be his. there was no doubt about that - he would never let anyone take him from him. thats not how it was supposed to be.

“fuck, fuck, reb,” it comes out in a huff, placing the tip to his skin again “youre so beautiful, im so - so lucky to have you.” he digs the knife in again, making a straight line.

the compliment makes this even worse. he feels sick to his stomach and the pain was unbearable - it was amusing how quickly he was broken down and forced to endure this.

the tears finally spilled over, streaking his cheeks as he let out muffled sobs.

dylan added a curved line next to the straight one, now forming a “D”. right on his hip was “VD” which would be there for forever. it was deep enough to scar over with the letters still legible.

“youre all - all mine, eric,” his voice comes out breathy, obvious he wasnt going to last much longer “im not gonna let - let anything get in between us,” he groaned, dropping the knife and holding onto his hips again “always mine, fuck-“

he lets out a hiss as he slammed in particularly hard, listening to the sobs and groans he got from the brunette. it was music to his ears.

“i love you, reb - shit, love you so much,” it was a real confession - the first time hes even said those words “i know you do too, fuck, youre just - too scared to say it.”

he couldnt have been farther then the truth. he hated his guts, he wanted nothing to do with him.

it wasnt long though until dylan was *finally* finished. he came inside of him with a loud moan, slowing to a stop as he rode out his own orgasm.

it was the best hes ever felt. it was euphoric and hazy - a fuzzy wave of lust and satisfaction washed over him and he basked in the afterglow.

his friend on the other hand wasnt looking too good. blood loss can do a lot.

the blonde pulls out, shuddering at the feeling. most of his cum stays inside and its such a beautiful scene. at least to him.

he lets go of his hips and notices how his body seems to go limp on the bed. he grabbed his shoulder and turned him over.

“reb?,” is barely heard, seeing as though his eyes are glossy and about halfway closed “eric? cmon, answer me.”

anxiety spikes in his chest, knowing he was going to have to take care of this quickly.

he gets no answer though, only watching as the others eyes fluttered closed.

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: ROUND 5, ALL GROUPS

Group C Finals!

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Anzu Mazaki

the original It Girl, very underrated anzu masaki is stubborn. she’s all about friendship and she believes in you soooo much. she’s the type to give you a lecture while picking you up because she’ll never leave you stranded but you should take better care of yourself. she has dreams of being a dancer and takes that risk in moving to whole different COUNTRY to follow her dreams. vote for anzu!!! This is ANZU. Yugioh's most dedicated friendship philosopher!!! The one who knew the power of friendship before anyone else did!! Always backing up her guy friends even when (especially when) they're up their own asses about card games!! Not the mom friend bc she's reckless and nuts in her own special way!! The girl Yami confided in when he couldn't even confide in Yuugi... who sees through everyone's bullshit into their true feelings.... who said "learning how to love yourself is a game we play our whole lives"..... She is THEE GIRL. Literally iconic. Foundational to the whole damn text!! She didn't haul ass after a bunch of goofy card game geeks supporting them through 343 chapters and suffer through endless early 2000s Anzu-bashing fic to NOT win this tournament!!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

[xiii-e]

for Xie i hop u have a good day

for Lio...

i read wut you said. im gald i dint make things worse. sometimes i do that by accident

i didnt know i could hate HA anymore than i already did. i know its how hard it is for a regular person to get through there stupid bullshit program first hand, so i can only imagine how hard it is when they bake that shit into ur jeans or whatever.

HA made me a monster. they trained me and they changed me 2 be 1. i talked about what an enkidu does to u last night on another post... they filled me up with so many stims i could barely think most of the time, and they yelled at me wen i did anything other than kill for them.

im still the monster they turned me into. my BATTLERAGE never left. when i go too long without TEARING shit apart with SLAG KITTY i start to lose it. the stinging in my head starts again and it gets itchy and angry in my head. i MAUL because i have to and its a part of waht i am.

but that isnt all i am anymore. since the fuckers left me 2 die better people helped me learn to be a person again. I hav friends now and i liek exploring places and i think grils r like really really really pretty... im a whole person and im not just the part me they made.

I think Xie will always be a medic. their instinct to help people and make them stop hurting is baked in. but ive seen other parts of them too and theyre parts i really like. i think those parts will grow. specially once you manage to get them out of ther. i know you already know this, but i think itll maybe help to know that some1 else knows it 2

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

◂▸ Hey Sally- Xie's doing better than they were, having some quiet time in their room. They had a rough dream over their nap, head's giving them trouble, but! They're doing better now. They say hi :]

◂▸ ... yeah, you're not wrong there kiddo. Programming and conditioning can fuck with anyones head, but part of why they do these high-control Projects with us flashclones in the first place is because it's just- easier. No outside experiences to influence your subject, no family or history just... whatever you designed, floating in a tube. It's more expensive to custom-build a soldier than to just use fascimiles or vulnerable citizenship, but the payoff is the control. 'Specially if you bake in some behavioural quirks that back up what you wanna do. A predisposition toward anxiety, for instance. Uncontrolled empathy. Aggression, in some of the earlier models.

◂▸ Remove the ability to play god and fuck with someones genes directly and- yeah, stims. That horror show the Enkidu puts you through. I'm sorry they did that to you kiddo, they had no fucking right to- you already know that too but, likewise. Someone else knows that too. I don't think you're a monster, I think you're dealing the best you can with a problem you never should have been forced to deal with. They made it so the only positive association you got for years, was with violence. Course that's gonna be near impossible to kick entirely.

◂▸ ... makes me real happy to hear you talk about the parts of yourself you found after you got out, kiddo. Sounds like you understand stuff better than a lot of folk out there, and that- that probably comes from experience. You happy out there? You mention people helped you learn to be a person, after HA abandoned you in the field, mention you have friends now. That's real good to hear about. People who get it make everything managable, I think. You're a good person to know, Sally- I'm real glad you and Xie got talking. I know they're happy bout it too.

◂▸ I- I really hope I can get them out of here, one day. That's the first challenge, isn't it? Hope I can be there to see who they find within themself, once the job isn't bleeding them dry. Hope you'll be there to see it too. They'll always be the kind of person to put their own needs last, always be succeptable to that guilt they've been wired with... but I think that'll be managable. Once they've got people who don't want to see them hurt. People who can actually do something about it.

◂▸ Thanks kiddo. Just let me know if you ever wanna talk, yeah? I've got some experience helping folk deal with the quirks conditioning can leave you with. You have anything along the lines of a chewtoy? Can help with minor aggression impulses sometimes, having something to tear at.

[ Helios-8 ]

//

[seonghwa-potatos]

The bully’s a sub?

- soobin gif -

summary: What happens after a fight with your bully ends up leading you to have dinner with his parent.Your left alone with Soobin to get your guys’s act together , expecting to end up fighting once more you find something quite odd in his room, changing your opinion on him.

pairings: bully!sub!soobin x rough!dom!reader

warnings: anal play, creampie

<loading…>

Walking into class you prepared yourself for whatever was going to happen.Sitting down in your seat you begin to read a book, but then none other than Soobin takes it.”Y/N so what ya reading”he says holding it and laughing.”well it's not important” he says tossing it on the floor and putting his foot onto it.You get up “Soobin What the fuck is wrong with you”You ay feeling defeated.”Every damn day I have to deal with your bullshit and Im fucking tired of it.” you say clenching your fist. “So what?” he chuckles looking at his friends. You take the chance swinging your fist at him but you miss.He then grabs your arm “If your gonna try to fight me, number one tip is to swing straight…even my little brother knows that.” he smiles sarcastically

The only emotion you could feel was anger, as he tosses your arm down you grab your book on the floor.Tossing it at him as hard as you can at the back of his head.The class went silent.You take a step back, he turns running towards you, you never seen him this angry.He lunges at you and you both fall onto one another, but you flipped yourself on top, making sure you pinned his arms down with your thighs.”IM TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT”you say tears running down your face and he just looks up at you stopping his fighting to get you off of him.”pouring water onto me was so damn funny to you guys wasnt it” opening your eyes he looks at you as if he feels sorry, but you could care less.”Remeber I was gone for a week from school, It was because your bitch ass got me sick”you say hitting his chest.However you didnt realize that your pin on him, you were losing it. He flips you over “Stop being a bitch, crying over this, really?Are you really crying over something as little as this?” he says laughing.He looked crazy laughing like this was the funniest thing to him ever.

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING, GET UP… NOW” the Teacher says storming in.Soobin gets off of you and you swing your fist, punch him in the face as hard as you can.He just shoves you away from him.Wiping the blood off his lip.”OFFICE NOW” the teacher yells walking you both down.

Sitting in the office you both say nothing waiting for your parents to come get you.

30 mins later.

“Mom, you know I've told you for months about how he kept messing with me.” you say

“Y/N fighting won't solve any problems, I raised you better than this…but thats why were gonna fix this today” she says you questionly raise your eyebrows “Today?, How” you say

“We're having dinner with his family later,” she says, hopping into the car.

“Dinner?” you say concerningly.”No , mom he’s literally the devil's child…Dinner? You can't be serious” you say, looking at her as if she's crazy.

“Well you're gonna get dressed, we have to leave by 4:30”she says.Arriving home, You just wish you could lay in your bed and do nothing for the rest of the day.Eventually you went to sleep hoping your mom would just cancel.

“Wake up Y/N and get dressed.” she says as you're half awake and half asleep.”Huh?”

You say then you remember you have to have dinner with Soobin.”Mom please I really don't wanna go.''You say doing those bubbly crying eyes at her.”No you're going Y/N be dressed in 10 mins were leaving then”, she says closing the door.

Dragging yourself out of your room you plead with your mom one final time, but she says this is for the best as you both head out the door.

15 mins later you guys arrive at his house.Walking in you see Soobin with his bruised lip and laugh under your breath.He glares at you knowing he heard you. Once the table is set up you sit across from one another as well as the parents.As you guys eat Soobin’s dad says “We want you guys to stop this childish act,So me and Mrs Lyn (Your mom)will be leaving while you guys solve your guy’s problems” he says as if this was the solution. “Dad, are you really gonna leave me with her?”he says like a whining.you roll your eyes wanting to leave the room in an instant.”You guys are gonna act like your age,If come back and everythings a mess with you two, you won't have your phone,xbox,or television for a month.”(18) his dad says expressing how he wasn't lying.”Same goes for you Y/N “ your mom says as they both hid to the door.” Yall stay on your best behavior while we're gone.” your mom says closing the door behind them.

“Don't touch any of my shit, and stay out of my room” he says going to the bathroom.You wanted to put him in his place so you go upstairs and find his room,You just lay on his bed admiring his room.”He really thinks ima listen to him now” you chuckle to yourself getting up you look around and see his walk in closet.”Hmm he got some nice clothes i'll admit that.” you say looking around and then you see this purple looking thing hiding behind shoes.You grab it and it's a dildo.You hold in in shock.He likes to be fucked in the ass. Ima definitely use this against him you were thinking.You lay on the bed wondering how he got this big ass dildo up his ass.”I told you not to go in my room” he says yelling opening his door.His face goes pale and his face drops.”W-what are you doing touching my stuff”He says as if he’s embarrassed.He runs after you trying to grab it, but you wore heels your about his height so you stand up and he tries jumping and reaching but to no surprise he can't. “Please just give it to me.” he says with bright red cheeks and ears looking down. “Now why would I do that?” you laugh at him in his face.You put your finger onto his chest pushing him down onto the bed. “Y/N, i'm sorry for bullying you, I- I never meant to take it that far” he says you can tell he’s embarrassed but so what.”Strip” you say smiling, doing that sarcastic smile he does.”S-strip” he says panicking.”Why would I do that” he says looking everywhere but your eyes.”Well, you wouldn't want anyone to find out would you?” you say finally knowing you have something to black mail him with.He begins to strip only to his underwear he covers himself in his underwear.You sit in a chair facing him “That too”you say pointing. “Do you not understand the meaning of stripping?” you say almost getting out of your chair.He then removes his underwear. “Let me see,” you say teasingly, laughing.”S-see what” he says flustered more than ever. You move the chair forward, moving his hands out of the way.”This” you say as you laugh a little.”Wow it is pretty big” you say using the whipping stick out of your bag holding it up as if you were observing it. “Now can I get dressed?” he says, stepping back and covering himself once more.You look at him crossing your legs “I'm not done” you say looking him in his eyes.”What do you want from me?” he says with a bit of sass in his tone.

“Don't get sassy with me…Now you're gonna take this dildo and shove it up your ass in front of me” you say throwing the dildo at him.

“R-really are you serious” he says worrisomely.

“Do you want your friends to know what you do on your own time?”you say seriously without laughing.

He grabs puts a finger in his ass and tries preparing himself, but he cant reach so far it seems like. “C-can I grab m-my lube out of the closet.” he says

“Where is it” you say looking at how flustered he is.

“Top shelf to the side of the box right when you walk in.” he says looking away.

Grabbing the lube you come out and put some onto your finger.

“Y-you don't have t-too do it” he says talking fastly

“Shutup” you say, pushing him down and making his back arch.

You put one finger in and he groans trying to hold himself from moaning. “Let those sounds out for me” you say into his ear while putting two fingers in.

He lets out a soft moan he tried to keep from coming out.”So what other toys do you have in there” you say wondering how kinky this motherfucker is.He doesn't say anything except his muffled moans into the bed.You grip his hair moving his head up. “Answer me Soobin?”

You say sternly.He moans each word out saying ” C-cuffs, ot-ther dildos, an edging t-toy”he says.”Where are those toys?” you say putting 3 fingers in. His moans get louder “I-im not telling y-you”he says I then shove my fingers in and out at a paste. Leaning over him I take my shirt off, pressing my boobs onto his back.leaning towards his ears.You whisper “you really think you're gonna make demands” you chuckle.”You don't have options” you say grabbing his dildo and waving it in his face.Moving it to the back of him you put it in him and his moans come out full.You hear them as clear as day.”Im glad your my bitch now” you say pushing it further in as his back arches farther.”Y/N t-the toys are in t-that box” he says.He looks as if he can't hold no more. “You cum when I say you can come”You say looking into his eyes getting up from the bed and grabbing the material.You then place the cuffs on him moving his arms to be behind him.You then begin to take your pants off and underwear off slowly looking at him smirking.His dick starts to twitch.”I- I can't hold n-no more Y/N” he says moaning out.”Your gonna hold because I said so” you say sitting him up looking into his eyes.You put yourself on top of him pressing your folds along his cock.You feel his twitch bit by bit and you tease him more and more rubbing down his chest.”you want it” she says “Y-yes I want it, please”He says whines for it.You then pull yourself up and positioning yourself facing him going down onto his cock.He groans moaning your name, his moans begin to sound like pants.You then grab his head pushing the sweat off his hair.His adams apple bulges out as his head cocks backwards as his moans wont stop.”Soobin your such a naughty boy” you say pushing him onto the bed and going up and down faster.He lets out a moan as if he cant take it anymore “cum in me “ you say and you feel his cum ejaculate all inside you eventually making you both sticky as you keep going.you push your boobs into his face and suffocating him with the smell of you as well. “ You're such a good boy Soobin, now if you could act like this from now on we won't have any problems will we?” you say whispering into his ear.”No, ma’am” he says heavily out of breath.

[graciegoeskrazy]

figure my heart out | PART 2

Matty Healy + Queer!Teen!Daughter!reader

warnings: coming out, language

a/n: you didn’t really think i’d leave u on read did you? cmon u know me better than that. in all honesty i didnt mean to split it into 2 parts but i just loved what i had written and wanted to get it out there asap. my bad whoopsies. AT LEAST I DIDNT LEAVE YALL HANGING FOR LONG RIGHT. i’m sorry for all the pain i caused. xoxo. ALSO THANK YOUNFOR ALL THE IIND COMMENTS AND LOVE U GUYS MAKE MY FUCKING DAY LIKE LITTERSLY MY DAD WAS SO SHIT IMAND YOU GUYS TURNED IT AROUND WITH UR REQUESTS AND COMMENTS I LOVENUUUUHU OKAY enjoy 😚

An hour had passed. No one had gone to bed or left including your aunt and uncles because they all were too worried about you. They tried to convince your father to follow you upstairs before things worsened, but he couldn't move. This was a life-changing moment for crying out loud, and he was the one who ruined it. He couldn’t get that out of his head. After a while of going back and forth with each other, Everyone had enough of your father’s bullshit and decided to get involved. George and Ross took it upon themselves to head up to your room. They weren't even sure if you were awake in the first place, but the faint music of Olivia Rodrigo’s Sour album was playing the the background which was a telltale sign you were awake. Awake, and not doing well. It was nearing 3 in the morning but on weekends like this, sleep didn’t exist in the Healy and company household. People were up and awake or blasting music or just doing things you would normally do when the sun is up, so everyone staying up and having an intervention of sorts was a normal thing. (Which makes you wonder why your curfew was 11 pm in the fucking first place) That’s another reason why George and Ross had no problem with knocking on your door. “Bubs? You in there?” George knew the answer. They both did, but they didn’t know how to start the conversation. You had just sent a goodnight text to your girlfriend. As soon as you got upstairs a while ago, you texted her saying that you needed to talk. Not even a full minute later she answered the phone and you told her everything. After getting you to calm down and promising you everything would be alright, she suggested that you get some rest, and that’s what you planned to do. Until your uncles knocked on your door.

“Bubs it's Me and Tallie. We need you to open up.”

You were so tired. You didn't want to deal with them or anyone. You just wanted sleep. So you didn’t answer. After a moment, Ross spoke. “Love, open the door, please. We just want to help you.” He gave a glance towards George when you didn’t reply. “Bubs, we love you. We only want to help. What your dad did was unfair, we know that, and we just want to stop it from getting worse.”

Ross added on, “We love you, y/n. It doesn't change how we feel about you. You’re still our baby and we still love you. Let us in, please.”

After thinking about it and coming to the conclusion of what more could go wrong you reached up from where you were sitting on the ground near the door, and let them in. Still not saying another word.

George found you first. He knelt in front of you and did some of the breathing exercises he taught you. Eventually, he helped you up onto the bed where Ross sat and you just fell into him. You cried into his chest as George closed the door and went around to the other side of the bed.

“You feeling better?” You nodded. Ross pressed a kiss to your head. “Good.” He said.

George scooted closer and smiled. ‘So…June, huh?”

Ross smiled and you cringed, “Oh my god, shut up.”

“What?! I’m not judging. I like vaginas too.”

At this point, Ross was a pool of laughter and as much as you hate to admit it you laughed a bit too.

“Oh my- just get out.” You said, cracking a smile.

“You gonna be okay?” Ross asked.

You solemnly nodded. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go to bed and see what happens tomorrow.”

George smiled, “One day at a time.”

You nodded.

They both pressed kisses to your head like they have done since you were little, and left the room, silently, closing the door.

…

The next morning, after some very much-needed rest, you woke up to the sun coming through your window. You sat there for a while, wishing it was still night and wishing June was right there with you. After a minute of snapping back to reality, there was a silent knock at the door. Matty peaked his head in and his eyes found yours. He was still in last night’s clothes, dress pants and all. “I’m sorry- did I wake you-”

“No. It’s fine I’ve been up.”

He just nodded. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Can I come in?” You didn’t expect this conversation to happen this early but it was clear that he got no sleep and had been preparing himself all night. You nodded. He came in and shut the door and sat on the edge of your bed. You lay back, resting against the headboard. He couldn’t meet your eyes, but finally did when he said, “I’m sorry.”

You showed a slight tight-lip smile.“I know.” You said.

He looked away again and sighed. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like this, I just…”

“For what to happen?”

“You coming out.”

Your head tilted in confusion, “Wait- you knew this would happen?”

He shrugged as if it was nothing. “Well, not this but yeah, love.”

You crawled forward and sat next to him by the edge of your bed. “Are you kidding?” You yelled.

“No. I’ve known you liked boys and girls since you were in primary school.”

This bitch. You stood up with wide eyes and stared at your dad. “You knew I liked both!?!”

He smiled. “Remember the first time you got drunk at a party?”

“No?”

“Exactly. You came home super drunk from June’s house and while I was helping you sober up and get ready for bed you told me you had a crush on June. That you liked her and wanted to marry her.” He smiled at the thought.

You were shocked to say the least. “Wh-why didn’t you say anything? Or yell at me for being drunk!”

“Because you’re a teenager. I wanted you to have fun.”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down, of COURSE he knew I was queer of course. Sometimes I wish he didn’t know me this fucking well. “Oh my gosh.”

“You thought I believed you were going to ‘study sessions’? I’m not dumb, love. I used to make the same excuses. Plus, I didn't think I’d have to worry about teen pregnancy if you were having sex with a girl.”

“Dad!” You said, slapping his arm.

“Sorry.” You covered your eyes in embarrassment and shock.

“I wanted you to live your life. And figure out who you are before you tell me anything. I wanted you to feel comfortable coming to me and trust me.”

You sat up. “I’ve always trusted you. It’s just June isn’t exactly out yet to her family so it’s comp-“

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” He said, smiling, and putting a hand on your knee.

“I’m sorry, I yelled,” he said.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m sorry I lied and stayed past curfew.”

“It’s alright.” He said, patting your knee.

He looked at you and took your face in his hands. “I love you. No matter who you love.”

You smiled “I love you most.”

[sorrowlikefalling]

not my usual post, but i care enough to speak.

tw: mention of rape.

was never so disappointed in the world ever. the fact that felonies, misogyny, rape, and other things arent deal breakers for the so many of us is insane. you would rather a felon lead you than a woman. a woman who wouldve stuck up for women. a woman who wouldve supported this country. america, you are truly disappointing. the world was in your hands and you let that man win. the only people who dont care are the ones privileged enough not to. women and people of color have to fear for our lives now. what about the girls younger than me?. how are they gonna make it. 2028 is gonna be long from now. day one and im scared for the rest of the world. fuck everyone who is privileged enough to where your vote doesnt affect you. you changed lives. ruined some. youre disgusting. you would much rather a man like him run, because to this world masculinity equals qualified. to the men, what would your mother think? what about your daughter? your sister? your niece? why would you only preach to your benefit. donald j. trump is going to fuck a lot of people over. thats what you want? he gave police immunity. they can shoot and kill if they want. he is taking away rights from minorities. the women. the lgbtq community. your votes are rooted in the patriarchy. he is a violent man. the most important election of our lives. ruined. god bless america right? liberty and justice for all? ive always said it was bullshit. they want you to pledge to idolatry and fuck you over. the united states is under a disgusting rule. were under control. we arent being worked with. we are controlled. congratulations to the people happy. all it means is that youre privileged. enjoy your silver spoon before it rusts. some of us needed kamala as president. this is what so many people fought against. you wouldnt be here without a woman. think of that before you vote. i wish i could change minds. hes going to deport the immigrants who moved here for their kids or future generations to have a better life. you took that from them. you took our choice from us. another shot for america, but throw it to the ground. they can afford for glass to break. we are in debt in unity. not just by finances. i wish we were more of the united nations than the united states. we are united by state but not by nation. good job americana. you won. you conditioned the world to bow to you and now you got your reign. words arent meant to be on a watch list. i wish we could fight more. die for what you believe in people. they wont get it until you do. im a woman of my own. not a woman of america. you guys wont do us right anyway. woke up in fear for myself and the rest of the world. what about the children. you selfish things. your mother would never be proud of you. speak up and speak loud. if you didnt vote, youre the problem. kamala deserved that. you let her run like water through our hands. you lost her. let her slip. now our fate is in cardboard boxes. houses are paper. you know how easy it is to break that? good job. racism, fascism, transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia, idolatry, right wing, white supremacists. men upheld by the social hierarchy. you win. give yourself a pat on the back. i hope you throw up and choke. you can call me a liberal, a snowflake, whatever makes you happy. i know based off of that you run most of society. capitalist fucks. bourgeoisie losers. we fought and you took it away. im gonna keep editing this and i will keep saying every word that comes to mind. do it big and do it loud. fight and scream and dont let them forget. brains on pavement mean nothing to those so high they cant see it. god america you disappoint me. fuck you and your eagles. you and your everything. selfishness. trump hates the rest of the world and the minorities in it. hes the majority. dont let him fool you. thank you.

[ravilson23]

Helluva Boss is here again and oh boy, am i excited right now. I am very, VERY suprised but i love the new Halloween episode. I am sorry but i wont even look over tumblr to see other opinions, cause i know i will lose my current joy. I will do this later when i lose my excitment.

So why do I like the newest ep? I am not completely sure, maybe my expectations got really low over the duration of the 2nd season. Still, here are things that I really like:

1. Dynamics between I.M.P. members.

I feel like it has been SO LONG since I.M.P was shown as a team. Not as side characters for Stolitz, but people who are actually important and interesting. Even though it heavily focused on Millie and Blitz, there were small moments to show other members too. First we've got Loona who is completely exhausted. Which u know, most people would be if they didnt sleep the night, but also imagine what she had to deal with living with heartbroken Blitz. My goodness. But despite any sympathy i may have, i like her better this way. She was less bitchy than usual, ready to actually talk and compromise. It was really interesting to see her talk with Millie. The interaction was suprisingly civil and, dare i even say, friendly. Mill always has been kinda racist towards Loona, not using her name but calling her a "hellhound". Their relationship was rather non-existent with the the exception of Truth Seekers's events. And yet somehow i feel like they could be really great friends, so seeing Millie ask Loona for help was really satysfying. I think Millie is somewhat the most neutral towards Loona which is wild. Blitz treats her like a child and is ready to forgive her basicly everything while Moxxie has a very negative view of her (which is completely valid). But Millie sees her as an adult and is generally tolerant towards her problematic attitude while being aware of it. I think she could be a healthy influence (though her racism needs to be acknowledged and resolved) and they could create a very powerful team. I really would like to see it happen. Anyway, Loona actually agreeing to babysit Mox is gold. And then giving him ice-cream to help with his breakdown... just beautiful. I dont think sth like this has ever happened before. She was always really mean to him. The I.M.P. actually felt like a team in this episode, even if they weren't together. I really miss this, i think it should be a much bigger focus for a show called helluva BOSS. But yea, lets talk about Millie and Blitz. I really liked their dynamic. It feels like an expansion of what we had seen in the show. I always kinda wondered why Millie is so tolerant of Blitz's behaviour. He is very toxic in general but especially towards Moxxie, and as we all know she is ready to both die and kill for her husband. It didnt make sense for her to just ignore all the shit Blitz does. Even if he is generally sweet to her. He compliments her skills a lot and clearly values Millie. Now it makes a bit more sense. She sees him as a boss, a friend, and also, in a way, a hero. He is an inspiration to her. He is an equal in skills, he gave her a place to be of value and sth more than just another imp from Wrath. She met her husband because of him, found a place for herself. She clearly values him a lot, enough to ignore all the bullshit. Thats why it was so satysfying to see her angry with him. Made her more real and the conflict more impactful. This is the first time i really believed in Millie as an individual person. I think the show really needed an episode like this, shame its here only now. But hey, better late then never. Also, while i am able to believe in their friendship and understand Millie better now i still wish their relationship was better established earlier.

2. Blitz. Obviously.

As always he is a mess, it just becomes more and more obvious as the show goes. I have to say it is rather satisfying to see him so miserable over Stolas. Its is both suprising how open he is about it, while also being completely in character. Blitz's problems always end up being everyone problem. He is just... a very needy person, especially for someone who is afraid of getting close to others. This time however he really outdid himself. Moxxie will never again look at numbers without crying.

...Anyway, i think i always waited for a moment like this, where Blitz loses Stolas and understands just how important he is to him. And its a bit more pathetic and less violent than i expected. Yet somehow the show managed to actually not focus on Stolitz??? Huh??? Never thought it would happen. And especially in an episode like this. Makes me very happy, not gonna lie.

Then there are other things. Blitz's panic attack, flashbacks and emotional torment. Seeing Tilla burn and melt was so good. I hope he held her eye in reality too. The vibe of this episode, the gore and horrorish stuff are amazing. While his memories didnt really bring anything new (i mean, we all know about these stuff before or at least we had strong suspicions), the dead Millies were very interesting. The manifestation of his fear and guilt over all the times he endangered her live even though i dont really think he would be directly responsible for any of them. (For those who didnt notice, the forms of dead Milllie are connected to the first four episodes of the show.) I didnt think he was self-aware enough to acknowledge just how close to death they have sometimes come. Or maybe i am just projecting cause i never ever thought they could die, so why should they worry about it either? Especially since the show didnt treat these events seriously.

Then there are a few dialogue pieces i find really curious. The fact that Blitz says he never had a friend who he didnt want to have sex with. That actually is really sad and explains way to much. It seems that the only closeness Blitz has ever experienced in his adult was sexual. He doesnt know other way to feel connected to people, no wonder he wanted a threesome with M&M. He probably felt left out when they fell in love. Like he didnt matter anymore to them and the only way to stop it was to become a part of it. I think we all know what being a third wheel feels like and for someone like Blitz to be in this position... yae he obviously became a disaster. And dont misunderstand me. His attitude was completely fucked up. But the show treated it both as a joke an as an issue, whichever fit to the plot, without actually explaining why the heck is it even a thing. Well now i feel like i have finally got my answer and an okay one at that. I am happy Blitz decided to stop doing this, he is actually becoming a better person in the show. Now i only wish the same happened to Stolas, cause as for now he is becoming kinda worse and worse. I dont mind if the show is aware of it, which i am unsure if it is.

3. Animation.

I think its one of the best animated episodes in the entire show. There was no weird camera movement, the fight sequences were stunning, same with litghting, backrounds, character animation and generally everything. There were parts where it got particularly smooth or engaging. The part with Blitz sliding in bloody vents was such a great way to establish atmosphere. I could really feel how slippery everything became, how unsetlling. And there was a ton of scenes like this with all the horror vibes. Just. Stunning. Congrats to everyone who worked on it. In my opinion it was better animated than any of Hazbin episodes.

4. Humor.

Was it the funniest episode of helluva boss? Hell no. But i did laugh hard at the grandpa punching Millie hard while talking about fighting nazis. It took me completely of guard. Then another joke, when Blitz cursed his and Millie's little legs. It reminded me of the famous Hogwarts Jaguar (bless his soft little paws over which he trips when he runs too fast). Then there is Moxxie, just in general. He was very relatable. The whole ghost fucking didnt do it for me but the song was so bad it was actually hilarious.

5. Themes

This episode just felt refreshing. We have gotten some interesting dynamics: Loona with Mox and Blitz with Millie. Stolitz somewhat is not a focus but more of a tool to study Blitzo and others as characters. It shows I.M.P.'s mission. There is some world building with the whole demon in the living world. We now know how Millie met Blitz and whats more that he was an assasin in hell before he started killing humans. The show actually talks about imp discrimination. Blitz and Millie are super badass. Overall its a lot of themes. And whats more they didnt fuck it all up like s02e02. Gosh how i hate the Seeing Stars episode.

And now things i dislike. There is nothing in this episode that was particulary bad. I thing all the stuff i am frustrated with are more because of the lack of proper setup or continuity. For example I.M.P.'s skills level. I feel like they are either amazing or completely useless. On one hand we have scenes like Millie and Blitz's first fight, on the other she is getting hit with a bottle by a mere human while Blitz runs around with a new hole in his body. I just never know how good or bad they actually are in comparsion to other imps or demons. Then the imp discrimination. I am genuinely invested in this theme, but the show really cant decide what imps are. Are they pets? Slaves or servants?? The low class peasants, assasins or a straight up mafia??? Like what the heck. Maybe i am stupid but it doesnt make sense to me, like most of the worldbuilding at is point is a huge mess. What happens when demons die? What is law in hell? Why are there places like prisons or hospitals? How are higher class demons responsible for hell in general? So many, many, MANY things that are becoming only more problematic.

To conclude i feel like this episode gave me everything i wanted to see in Helluva Boss. More of the killing bussiness, I.M.P. inside dynamics, Blitz's fucked up self, imps fighting for a better life despite the discrimination, fun spooky shit and beautiful animation. I just cant help but be sad and frustrated that the whole show isnt more like this. These are themes i would like to see. I love romance, i really do, but not when its the only plot. Also, i wish the set up was better so i could enjoy the episode even more. I just feel like the majority of the second season is a wasted potential. I liked the first episode, but i didnt really buy the childhood friends trope. Seeing Stars is a complete disaster. It ruined so many things for me... Stolitz, Stolas as a father, the potiential of Loona and Octavia's friendship, Blitz and Loona's first meeting, their relationship in general, the quality of animation and sound design... i can talk and talk about how bad this episode is. I really prefer to pretend it didnt happen but unfortunately it ruined things i had been waiting for and i cant change that.

Now, i wanted to write more about other episodes, but u know what? I think i will analyse the season as a whole when it comes out. I have already spend too much time writing this post.

Big thanks for anyone who decided to read all of this. I am sorry if its too chaotic, or for any spelling mistakes and such. Its way too late and I should really go to sleep.

[todayisafridaynight]

Do you mind dumping all of your thoughts on ebina for us?

i dont even know where to begin on ebina he just sucks major horse cock and i cant be swayed on this but ill put it under the cut for everyones sake. this is rambly as hell too idc i refuse to spend any more time thinking about ebina more than i already do

like what is his purpose. like i KNOW his purpose but it sucks- him being a Plot Twist baby is the dumbest shit in the world and they dont even ATTEMPT to do anything meaningful with it i do not care what anyone says

why even HAVE HIM be related to ichiban if he never even interacts with ichi in a meaningful way, esp when ichi's whole theme is family-- WHEN THE GAME IS LITERALLY ABOUT ICHI MEETING HIS MOM (or it was until they decided they didnt care about akane in the plot anymore)

like we mentioned it before here but if you have to have ebina related to a yakuza from the past for his ol Bring Down The Yakuza gig then why not make him an orphan from kazama's orphanage ???? literally nothing wouldve changed except it would've made more sense with how much kiryu deals with him instead of ichi. it wouldve been a great way to round things off with kiryu's saga too, what with having to confront the consequences of kazama's actions directly and finally and officially burst that fanatic bubble of his (i dont wanna HEAR nothing about gaiden that's not enough for me im GREEDY). theres something in here too about kiryu and daigo but i cant articulate it... i just know that wouldve been better too .... something something kiryu brought daigo into this life and now that he sees kazama 'bring' ebina into this life hes projecting ... idk ..

the game def didnt seem to give a fuck that ebina was arakawa's son considering they fucking revealed it in a bland-ass in-game cutscene FROM DAIGO OF ALL PEOPLE daigo respectfully why the fuck do you know this

i dont know how many people watch my streams but i was so obnoxious about ebina's villain monologue before his fight because its just ...... it just SCREAMS Hey You Guys Remember Aoki Right. fucking Masumi Arakawa Had Two Sons: One Who Loved Him And One Who Hated Him LITERALLY SHUT UP AND DIE I HATE YOU MASATO ARAKAWA WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DID IT BETTER THAN YOU fucking stealing his bleach japan shit too. you might be able to steal bleach japan and piss me off about it the entire time because fucking everyone and their grandmother besides zhao seems to have forgotten fucking bleach japan but you can NOT steal Number One Hater Son from masato arakawa GET AWAY FROM HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'why did masumi arakawa have to get himself killed' BECAUSE HIS NUMBER ONE HATER SON HAD HIM KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER HATER THAN YOU SHUT UP

another thing that pissed me off to no end was the sawashiro shit fuckin Oh He Kept Him Alive Because He Wanted Him To Stop Him SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU . i really wouldve preferred if they just killed sawashiro like old man why are you here- WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE YOUR EYE GET GOUGED but im getting off topic. NOTHING bout what we've seen from ebina could convince me he Wanted To Be Stopped like absolutely nothing i dont want to hear this bullshit excuse. it is MERELY just reminding me of ichi being like 'i wish i couldve been there to stop you' @ aoki and its making me pissed

like im the only person who cares this intensely because im the only person who likes aoki enough like this and im trying NOT to mention him so much and just focus on ebina but its just so annoying... like its impossible NOT to see the parallels, especially when the game is practically bashing it into my brain every three seconds. like if we're talking aoki/masato-adjacent antags then i like eiji so its not the fact that HE IS aoki adjacent that pisses me off its just that he has no agency OUTSIDE of being a ghost of him. like there's nothing interesting about him in the slightest and he's barely even on screen why are you forcing me to give a fuck about this twat. if anything the one aoki thing i wish they did mirror onto him was dying at the end i do not care about this man

[shima-draws]

Yeah my opinion on HW is very.. two sided. On the one hand YOU DONT BREAK UP A FOUND FAMILY HICCUP LOOKED AT TOOTHLESS AND SAW HIMSELF AND TOOTHLESS CHOSE TO FLY WITH HICCUP OR NOT AT ALL IM SHAKING YOU CLAWING AT THE WALLS CHEWING ON THE FURNITURE. On the other hand I watched a video that like,, kinda justified HW?? or like explained it at the very least as like staying together puts the dragons and vikings in continuous danger that theyd need to separate from each other to avoid 1/2 RAGE anon

[[Like there will always be Dragons and Hunters and HW Villain Whatshisface and there could thoretically always be Hiccups but how long would the cycle repeat until dragons are all dead or all safe?? like keeping the dragons on Berk isnt best for the dragons or the vikings and i get that!! but on the other hand arguing this would disregard all the implications of Found Family and dragons being more than just animals and HTTYD's Never Give Up On What You Believe message. 2/2 Rage anon

Surprise RAGE anon 3/2 BUT ALSO Ruff going from Badass Wonder Girl in RTTE to Lets Annoy This Man Into Letting Me Go (Great Idea!!) and Then LEAD HIM TO THE THINGS HE WANTS TO KILL (Bad Idea!!) was... uugh you were doing so well rtte came out before hw why didnt they add in her character development dreamworks whyyy. And dont even get me started on Tuff just suddenly not even caring about Ruff at all NOT IN MY FOUND AND IN THIS CASE BIRTH FAMILY BITCH]]

Honestly I never really agreed with that;; The big argument about HTTYD 3's ending is the whole "Well, all the dragons leaving is how the book ended" deal but like. It doesn't have to follow the book to the letter. It HASN'T been doing that, do you know how vastly different the film franchise is from the book series? If the first movie had started with "There were dragons when I was a boy" YEAH it would make sense if you had the trilogy end that way, because you'd already hinted at it. But they made no indication of that being the ending UNTIL the third film. And they could have chosen not to end it that way and people would probably have better opinions about the movie then.

If you spent two films building up the central theme that humans and dragons can and should coexist and have found true companions in each other, why would you suddenly decide to toss that out. If Hiccup spent two films protecting the dragons from harm why can't he continue to do that. Why did he give up. It's completely contradictory to his character, to the fundamentals of who Hiccup is as a person. Hiccup is stubborn. He's STUPIDLY stubborn and we've seen that over and over. And that stubbornness is usually what leads him to saving the day and coming up with some plan to keep everyone safe without having to run away. It's just frustrating 😔

And the concluding message of "We're going to wait until the world is safe and dragons can live among humans peacefully again" is really shallow bc how are you going to convince the world that dragons are good WITHOUT dragons. If they aren't there to set the example how are you going to sway people to the good side without any proof. Going off of that how is Hiccup going to change anybody's mind if he's sitting on an island in the middle of nowhere 'guarding the dragon's secret' or whatever bullshit lmao it's just so contradictory. Honestly that whole argument felt really rushed and not thought out well, like they needed some excuse and that was the best they could come up with. And honestly? The world is NEVER going to be completely safe, that's just not how the world works. There will always be danger and terrible awful people like Drago and Grimmel. But sitting on and island and hoping they might change their ways isn't going to do jack shit lmao you can't stop bad people from doing bad things by just twiddling your thumbs and praying for the world to be safe for dragons again. You gotta WORK for that, you need to put in the effort, and I just never got that impression from THW's ending. It really just felt like they were expecting all their problems to magically be fixed and I'm like BRO. You PROVED in the first two movies that you can do anything as long as you have your dragons. You can change the entire world view of an island, or a country, or the world if you put your mind to it. But I guess we're going to disregard all of that suddenly for no reason 🙃

And yeah YEAH I definitely agree with you on the whole found family thing. They seemed to forget all about that in THW too >:(

Don't get me started on how they ruined everyone's character development in 3 😭 They did Ruff dirty. AND Snotlout and Fishlegs and Tuff.

Anyway rant over LOL I'm glad that most people agree with me about THW! I know when it first came out people were getting angry defending it and I'm like no listen you gotta look past your nostalgia and love for the movies and criticize it properly. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that Toothless would choose a random female dragon over Hiccup. LIES and SLANDER

[sirxlla]

Bigger Picture

------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Fluff

Prompt: Reading with Tim on the very little time off he has during his "vacation." (aka Art told him to go home and forced him a few days off.)

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

You ran you hands through Tim's hair as he laid down on the couch with his head in your lap, your fingers in his hair and nails gentle against his scalp earned a few hums of content from those pretty lips of his. He was reading Harry Potter for the first time, he didn't tell everyone but he was an avid reader. Tim always loved to read to decompress after work, it usually pulled his mind away from whatever bullshit he was dealing with.

You had told him to get audible so he could listen to them and he politely declined, a normal book book let him stay alert to his surroundings whereas an audio book didn't. Just general perks of being with someone that was in the military, they have to have the seat facing the door, they have to know where all exits are, checks the doors like three time before bed amongst other things like the way he made the bed, the way he combed his hair, the way he couldn't sleep past six and the nightmares of his time in Iraq.

"I just can't believe Art sent me home, I mean that girl needs my help." There was something about this case that was driving him up the wall and he couldnt pinpoint it.

"Maybe he thinks its cause youre too close. Maybe getting away will help you get a fuller picture." You offered your advice hoping to help calm the irritation in that Texan accent with more than just your hands.

"I feel like fuckin Blue's Clues putting all this shit together on my own then Art pulls me out and crates me." He huffs, clearly chomping at the bit to try to figure out this piece of the puzzle.

"Hey, Blue is cute, you're sexy...Entirely different." A smile graced your lips as you responded, You had spent a lot of time with him and he had encouraged a sharp tounge and quick wit. It hadnt been perfect but you were getting better at it.

"Blue didnt get punished for doing his job." Again another huff left his throat as you looked down at him.

"Art's not gonna be the only one punishing ya if you dont quit huffing, makes me feel like you dont wanna spend time with me." You stated as this was the only time you two had even remotely gotten to chill together or relax in a while.

"I'm sorry, Honey. I'm just stressed over it." His tone changed a bit.

"I don't mind you talking about the case, Baby. Im sorry, I was being selfish." Your tone changed as well, you didnt want him to feel guilty for doing his job like Winona did to Raylan.

"I just dont know why she wont talk to me, she knows its the only way to get her protection." He's still tryna scramble his brain on why this woman wouldnt talk considering she's got no reason in his mind not to.

"Maybe she wants protection for her and someone else? She got a boyfriend, best friend, mom, dad?" You asked trying to be helpful in any way you could and your outside perspective sometimes gave him that aha moment with something he'd overlooked.

"She doesn't really have anyone else. Her Daddy died when she was a kid, her Momma ran off to shithole Indiana and her boyfriend's in the Lexington jail right now for her ratting him out." He leaned his head back into your lap but that was when he noticed a bit about your belly and boobs, they were slightly larger.

"Are you pregnant?" He asks with a bit of wonder and excitement.

"Yeah, I- I was gonna tell you at dinner tonight." Your tone was nervous, tracing his nose gently knowing your kid will look so similar. He eyes flitted back and forth in realization of you but also the case.

"I think you just helped me figure this out! She's afraid that if she says something she'll go to jail and then she can't be a be a mother within prison walls." He grabs his phone and calls Raylan to update him on whats going on. Tim's brain was always slightly on work but thats just what came with dating someone in a profession as such.

You kissed his neck as he chatted with Raylan, teeth gently nipping at his neck which caused Tim to cut his conversation short.

"I gotta go, Raylan. Keep me in the know." He said before he hung up quickly with a mischevious smile on his face.

"Oh, youre getting it now!" He laughs as he picks you up and carries you back to your bedroom whilst you giggle and squeal as he tickles you.

That night was similiar to others to come, his hands on your belly, he did that every night. He was proud of you for being so strong but also so paitent with him, dating any first responder type wasnt easy and his being so much worse cause he was often being shot at in one of these shithole Kentucky hollers. You were all he could ask for, strong, paitent, kind and goddamn gorgeous.

Masterlist <- -> Tim Masterlist

[whomst-the-hell]

just finished obx4 (yikes lol) so heres my thoughts: the entire jj plotline died in the water nd it dragged the rest of the story with it (THIS IS THE FAULT OF THE WRITERS NOT THE ACTOR. I KNOW THEY KILLED HIM OFF BECAUSE THE ACTOR WANTED TO LEAVE. THAT IS COMPLETELY WITHIN HIS RIGHTS, AND IT WAS THE WRITERS’ JOB TO DEAL WITH IT. CLEARLY THEY DIDNT. STOP BEING WEIRD)

ok anyway my thoughts on the show: i was so fucking excited. i love pirates, they said edward teach i was saying yippee hooray and other things of that nature. but this season was not about treasure it was about jj and a lazy soap opera ass plot twist. chandler groff singlehandedly made the show worse. if the barbary pirates had been the primary villains, focus could have stayed on what should have been the A plot (the treasure hunt) but for some fucking reason they decided to introduce a second tangentially related guy and make him the main villain by retconning JJs whole deal. this snowballed into literally every other character (JJs arc was incredibly lame and underwhelming, kiara didnt do anything the whole season, pope and cleo were off on their own basically the whole time and also OOC af, and john b and sarah’s plotline was only better than JJs because the bar was in hell, the barbary pirates were largely redundant and forgettable (did they even have names??) and rafe seemed like he was kinda just. there for some reason??)

like ok sure. jj is a fan favourite character, and so far the A plots (treasure hunts) have mostly focused on, in order, john b, sarah, and pope. so you want s4 to focus on jj. logical. at the end of the season you’re going to have to write jj out of the show, because for whatever reason the actor is quitting. bit of a wrench, but if you’re any good at your job you should be able to do it. if i had to make barbary pirates personally relevant to jj maybank, i would have just made his mum one of them. like she has no prior lore AT ALL. you can do the gutpunch thing, because you could have so easily made out that jj romanticised his mum in some way, fantasised about her coming to save him, thought of her as the better parent, etc, and then it turns out, no, both your parents suck, its smugglers and pirates and salt lifers all the way back. he spirals, he loses sight of himself, he crashes the fuck out to warpigs with red and green lighting (cool as fuck) and then when push comes to shove he sacrifices himself for his friends (instead of having a useless redundant death after all the action was done anyway) and shows that he is better than where he came from. i even think having jj be the one to die could be thematic because, for a lot of viewers including me, the first taste of real brutality in the show was the scene with luke and jj in the car in s1. having jj be the one to die could have been sort of meaningful because (if you hadnt shot yourself in the fucking foot with a bullshit secret father reveal) jj is the most emblematic of “pogues” like literally in the intro monologue john b says he’s a proper salt lifer, hes fucking proper white trash poverty, so of course the brutality hits him first, brutality always hits them first, thats the point, thats the tragedy at the heart of it all

i just feel like if he had to die you should have done something with it?

[terraliensvent]

I hate terraliens because the price of characters has dropped so much. I spent a lot of effort and valuable characters to get my first terraliens and now they cost nothing.

I blame them for giving out point buy myo to every person and not even making these characters linked to an account to reduce inflation.

I blame them for the species no longer ignites my heart because I see how much bullshit they do and how they don't do anything interesting. They delayed the launch of a new subspecies even though they've already spent a shitload of time on it, and they still can't get enough?

I blame them for being idiots and not bothering to find a better programmer and fix their fucking website. They're idiots and don't understand the consequences of uploading 4 megabyte images, which is what uploading 1k pixel images each leads to. They are idiots and they don't give a shit, because they don't use the site from the average user's point of view.

I blame them for not bothering to find normal extensions for their fucking site, although karma found and installed world expanding for their site, while the theres were open-mouthed at the mention of this extension. ARE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS OR ARE YOU JUST FUCKING WITH US?

Terraliens are burning and dying and I wish them a quick descent into hell.

i agree with everything here anon

the terra economy is one of the strangest to me, they were insanely high value at the start, then grubs tanked because staff never gave anything to spend on other than items, then jasper items tanked because they were made forageable, then terras themselves tanked because the mod team was so shit people just wanted nothing to do with them

point buy myos were the final nail in the coffin for this economy that they royally fucked up by introducing staff myos into (thus creating a focus on lim traits to add value) so not even lims have trading power

they pushed out a new subspecies without thinking about fixing the lore people have been asking for since the species start, and then when confronted about it just said "whoopsies we r dum!!" then delayed the launch of said subspecies that WAS ALREADY LAUNCHED

they use insanely large images for their site, going against the recommended image sizes that lorekeeper gives you right next to the "upload image" button, creating such a workload for the site that now it runs incredibly slow because they refused to read and decided they needed 1000x1000 px images for items

they know NOTHING about their own tools to the point that members suggest very easy implementations and staff turns it down because they cant even begin to comprehend operating lorekeeper; when someone suggested allowing a volunteer coder, kea assumed that they could just delete the whole site which isnt possible at all. even the coder they currently have on has said they have no lorekeeper experience.

the staff are constantly mystified by the most basic parts of lorekeeper, even a glance across the extensions wiki gives you so many options for site features that are typically very easy to add outside of dealing with migrations.

even upgrading the site to v3, which theyve said is supposedly at the top of their priorities, should be incredibly simple considering how there are almost no extensions installed, but they still just havent made the change.

the team is incompetent and has been for a very long time. terras is dying and it has been for a very long time. we are halfway through the month of october and there is still no announcement for this month's event. it took them a full month after the birthday storm event ended to even roll the damn raffle because they just didnt give a fuck. hell, they probably didnt even have a design for it until someone asked in staff-ask saying "hey where the hell is it its been a month" and they had to scramble and throw something together

i just want it to be officially done and over with because its clear that everyone is moving on

[majaloveschris]

i havent a clue what this shit is myself. im in between a shonky pr contract and a situationship gone wrong. that being said what are the chances that chris letting them inside his house were a part for if the deal, to enhance "believability"? physically near them? because thats what really pisses me off. is there a possibility that legally he can't say no to having these racist slackers within close proximity. we get mad at him for being around them but what if hes obligated to? i didnt really want to ask because then it feels like im letting him off the hook and im not. i have no idea whether hes deliberately choosing violence or is genuinely stuck doing things he wouldnt normally do because who really knows. if theres anything i do fully believe its that someone else is managing his social media content: the love hearts, melting emojis, lovey dovey stories etc bullshit bullshit. ehblaggh im not an expert, im just really confused 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. what do you think the actual details of a pr contract might look like? PS: i too hope that you are safe and well. It takes nerves of steel to stay calm while being reasonably close to something so scary 💛💛

I think the main reason is that they suck doing this whole thing, and also because it's more comfortable and easier this way. Let me explain:

1. It's not that suspicious. For example, doing pap walks or being seen at different places by a paparazzi would be more giving than being at his place, and they don't even have to be alone.

2. They can choose the perfect images and videos. We all know now that doing something in public, like the pap walk or Disney, isn't really working for them due to their lack of chemistry and the fact that they look like they don't even want to be around each other. However, if they do stuff like the scare video or when Justin shares a story, they can take another one, and another, until it's perfect. There are no fans or bystanders like in New York who can film or photograph them while they are unaware. And even when they did this, the results were usually pretty crappy, like the scare video clips.

3. They don't have to go to public places together, and there won't be any professionally taken pictures. It's like they don't have to be on the same photo, so there will only be a few actual photos of the two of them.

I think he is definitely obligated to do certain things, but he and his team are trying to do the very minimum; they are trying to get through this whole thing without them actually needing to be seen that many times. Maybe Chris would rather do something like this in places where he feels comfortable and where he can have his friends and family members with him. I assume they provide them a safe place, and I think the same can be said about her; that's why she always brings her friends along. I guess Chris and his team think it's better to do that rather than be out in public together.

I could be wrong. This is only my opinion. He doesn't seem to enjoy her company, so I wouldn't say he is so happy that they are there, but it's better than being in public.

Thank you so much! It's definitely scary, but I'm trying to remain positive, and I'm more worried about those who live near the border; luckily, I live on the other end of the country.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Jade Harley, Jaspersprite

Act 6, page 5283-5307

JOHN: jade...

JADE: hm?

JOHN: i think i just realized something.

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!

JADE: whaaat

JADE: but you love this movie!

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i mean... i thought i did.

JOHN: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!

JOHN: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.

JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!

JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?

JOHN: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.

JOHN: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.

JOHN: but i can't, because...

JOHN: it's just...

JOHN: not...

JOHN: good. :(

JADE: really?

JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!

JADE: its very silly

JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john

JOHN: but i DID take it seriously!!!

JOHN: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.

JOHN: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.

JOHN: what was i even thinking!

JADE: i dunno....

JADE: but people can change their minds about things

JADE: i think youre allowed to change your mind about a silly movie

JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young

JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was

JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise

JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas.....

JADE: so i stopped liking the show itself as much but that didnt change the fact that i had a lot of fond memories about it

JADE: i still loved all the cute characters and could enjoy it on a nostalgic level

JOHN: well, maybe later i'll be able to rekindle some nostalgic feelings about it.

JOHN: but right now, i just feel like a dope for talking this up so hard.

JADE: what is even the problem with it?

JADE: ive just been watching this and thinking, yup, i can see why john was so obsessed with this movie...

JADE: its funny!

JOHN: it's just non stop terrible action movie cliches!

JOHN: look.

JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?

JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!

JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.

JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.

JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?

JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.

JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!

JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!

JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!

JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.

JADE: what!!

JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????

JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.

JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.

JADE: oh god

JADE: vexing and hypnotic??

JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet

JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days

JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.

JADE: oh bluh bluh

JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?

JADE: look you made us miss a whole bunch of stuff!

JADE: hang on im going to rewind it...

JOHN: who even cares what we missed.

JOHN: just cameron stupid poe in his idiot wife beater babbling some more southern home spun heroic nonsense.

JOHN: heart of gold my ass!!!!!

JOHN: everything dave ever said about this movie was right! i can't believe i used to think he was just trolling me.

JOHN: the stupid junkyard scene where cyrus makes a little model out of rocks and stuff, just so he could tell the criminals to surround some army guys and shoot them... that was pointless!

JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!

JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!

JOHN: there. now you officially know they are all badasses.

JOHN: also, i somehow didn't even remember dave chappelle being in this movie. he was pointless too.

JADE: whos dave chappelle?

JOHN: and you know the malloy guy, the dick head cop who we're supposed to hate, because of how he gives john cusack a hard time and makes asshole decisions with a helicopter?

JOHN: well screw that! he wasn't so bad. so what if he was a little grumpy? he was just trying to do his job. he had one of the best lines in the movie actually, which was another thing we were supposed to hate him for.

JOHN: what was it? about how cusack was probably out saving a tree and recycling his sandals or some shit? HAHAHA! now that i think about it, i fucking LOVE malloy.

JOHN: i'm going to rewind it to watch that scene again...

JADE: no!!!

JADE: dont touch the remote

JOHN: oh, and we're supposed to be like "YEAH" when cusack wrecks malloy's awesome sports car.

JOHN: but that was a nice car! john cusack shouldn't have ruined it like that for laughs.

JOHN: i know *I* wasn't laughing, were you?

JADE: YES :p

JOHN: john cusack was such a terrible character in this movie now that i think about it. i don't really get what he added to it?

JOHN: he was like the second hero... but dorkier? what did he even really do? he scampered around the junkyard for a while goofing off, and then when it was his time to shine...

JOHN: HE DEMONSTRATED HIS MASTERY OVER HEAVY MACHINERY! wow, he can operate a crane! i am thrilled by the exploits of this pedantic weenie.

JOHN: i guess he's actually like cage's estranged sidekick? almost like the robin that batman never realized he had.

JOHN: now that i think about it, this movie was always an oddly poignant tale of bromance between cage and cusack. just two bros separated by destiny, waiting to be united.

JOHN: when they finally come together to kick some ass, it is arguably more moving than when he reunites with his wife and daughter!

JOHN: i wonder if i'll think that scene sucks now too? it used to move me to tears, but now i'll probably think it's so lame, i'm almost afraid to watch it. maybe i should try to leave at least SOME memories untainted.

JADE: john you are kind of sounding like a crazy person here

JOHN: yeah right! crazy like a fOWWW!

JADE: what???

JOHN: oh...

JOHN: i guess there was a stray feather clinging to my pajamas and it just poked me in the ass.

JOHN: god damn dave sprite.

JOHN: that guy molts like it's going out of style.

JADE: oh...

JADE: heh

JADE: yeah

JOHN: where is he anyway?

JOHN: i specifically told dave sprite several times when my party would start, because i knew he would do this.

JOHN: he's already missed half the movie!

JADE: why do you always call him dave sprite?

JOHN: um... because that's his name?

JOHN: dave sprite.

JADE: no, i mean why do you always say it like that? with the space between words?

JADE: its not dave sprite, its just davesprite

JOHN: what ever.

JOHN: i can't believe he's standing me up on my birthday.

JOHN: maybe he doesn't want to hang out with jaspers?

JOHN: jaspers, i hope you're not going to start chasing him around again when he gets here.

JASPERSPRITE: Hisssss!

JOHN: dude, shut up.

JADE: yeah.... john

JADE: i dont think davesprite is coming tonight

JOHN: aw, man. really?

JOHN: i knew we shouldn't have invited both him and jaspers.

JOHN: that's just party planning BASICS.

JADE: no...

JADE: it has nothing to do with jaspers

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: then why?

JADE: he uh...

JADE: kind of broke up with me

JOHN: what!!!

JOHN: when did that happen?

JADE: a couple days ago

JOHN: no. no way.

JOHN: i cannot accept this!

JADE: john its ok you dont have t...

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like the glue holding everything together on this miserable road trip!

JADE: we were?

JOHN: yes, jade.

JOHN: you were our rock.

JADE: your rock??

JADE: what are you talking about?

JOHN: come on, jade.

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like... an INSTITUTION on this stupid golden battleship.

JADE: we were not an institution!

JADE: you are just saying meaningless things now

JOHN: why did he break up with you?!

JADE: um...

JADE: its complicated

JADE: basically hes just going through a lot of stuff right now

JOHN: stuff??

JOHN: what stuff.

JOHN: jade, we are all going through stuff. you don't see me flying off the handle and breaking up with MY girlfriend.

JADE: do uh...

JADE: you have a girlfriend?

JOHN: that is not the point.

JOHN: the point is that dave sprite is a douche.

JADE: i dont think hes a douche, hes just...

JOHN: no, he's an orange feathery douche.

JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition.

JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him.

JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him

JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that

JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed.

JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to.

JADE: me too

JOHN: ehh...

JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you.

JADE: why?

JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him?

JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to?

JADE: i dont know

JOHN: there are a lot of things we don't know.

JOHN: and also...

JOHN: how do things even work if you marry a sprite?

JADE: what do you mean

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: ok, he has a ghost butt, for one thing.

JADE: uh

JADE: so

JOHN: a GHOST BUTT, jade!

JADE: SO WHAT IF HE HAS A GHOST BUTT!!!!!

JOHN: i'm just saying...

JADE: WHATEVER YOURE JUST SAYING, JUST STOP SAYING IT!

JADE: and whatever youre trying to gesture with your hands there, stop doing that too!

JOHN: what? no, i was just...

JADE: nope!!! totally not talking about this

JOHN: but

JADE: put your hands down john

JOHN: ok, fine.

JADE: thats not down, thats up!

JADE: oh well, at least youre not making those unsettling gestures...

JADE: john...

JADE: what are you doing?

JOHN: nothing!

JADE: i hope youre not entertaining some awkward train of thought about, uh...

JOHN: no!!!

JADE: what is with you??

JADE: today is your birthday, youre supposed to be having fun!

JADE: but youve been so testy, as if youre committed to not having a good time

JOHN: well, maybe i'm just getting a little tired of being stuck on this lame boat!

JOHN: don't you think it's gotten kind of old?

JADE: yeah, i can see how you might find it a little slow here

JADE: i dunno, i havent minded much... maybe its different for me though because i used to live all alone?

JOHN: oh sure, i'm sure it's GREAT for you. you get to spend your days smooching and breaking up with dave sprite and what not, and you can shrink down to any old planet you feel like, any time. whereas i have to make this whole big deal of ASKING you to shrink or unshrink me, and...

JADE: but i dont mind doing that any time!!!

JOHN: i know, but you think i want to bug you about that at the drop of a hat? when you're busy and on dates and stuff? i just happen to have respect for something called PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, jade.

JOHN: and it's not like there's really anyone else to talk to, except the inscrutable chess people and a bunch of brainless consorts and an idiot cat princess. oh and also nanna, but i mean, she's my grandmother, and she's great, but a guy can only spend so much quality time with his grandmother before he starts to feel like kind of a loser whose friends are too busy to spend time with him!

JADE: john... if you told me this earlier i would have...

JOHN: and i still never visit any interesting dream bubbles, and we can't even finish our cool planet quests because the moment we broke through the window all our denizens decided to go back to sleep, and...

JOHN: i guess what i'm saying is, i'm MORE than ready to get to the other window and meet our friends and other new people and stuff.

JOHN: are you sure you can't make the ship go faster???

JADE: were already going as fast as i can make us go

JOHN: and how fast is that again?

JADE: about the speed of light!

JOHN: well, can't you use your space powers and bump it up a notch?

JADE: no! nothing can go faster than light john

JADE: unless you teleport of course

JOHN: and why can't you teleport us again?

JADE: i already explained this! i cant do that here, its not within the domain of the green sun which gives me those powers!

JOHN: is that why we can't go faster than light either?

JADE: no thats just a regular law of physics!!! jeez

JOHN: ok, i mean, i know that. but this isn't really a regular place, right?

JOHN: isn't the speed of light like a thousand miles a second? so what does that really mean here? are miles and seconds the same here as on earth? how does this nonsense dimension we're racing through jive with all the relativity mumbo jumbo?

JADE: ok first of all, thats not even close to the speed of light

JADE: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!

JADE: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!

JADE: but id be more than happy to talk about them if youd like. actually i would enjoy that because i never really get to talk about science wi...

JOHN: no, i don't want to talk about physics! i don't know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.

JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?

JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!

JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!

JADE: you take that back!!!!!

JOHN: no.

JOHN: magic is awesome.

JOHN: science blows.

JOHN: the end.

JADE: john.....

JADE: what is that?

JOHN: what?

JADE: under your hood...

JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?

JOHN: huh?

JOHN: oh god dammit.

JOHN: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!

JOHN: THAT BASTARD!!!

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.

JADE: what is it??

JOHN: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

JOHN: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!

JOHN: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

JADE: where are you going?

JOHN: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!

JADE: what! john, no...

JOHN: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???

JOHN: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????

JOHN: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!

JADE: ok yes, that practical joke is in poor taste, but you should try to calm down and...

JOHN: NO, SCREW THAT, I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!

JOHN: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN.

JOHN: WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!

JADE: um

JADE: which one?

JOHN: ANY OLD HAMMER!

JOHN: WHATEVER. IT COULD BE A HAMMER FROM THE BARGAIN BIN OF A HARDWARE STORE FOR ALL I CARE.

JOHN: JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT'S FIT FOR CLOBBERING A GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE WHO'S ALSO A BIRD.

JADE: sigh

JOHN: I'M COMING FOR YOU, DAVE SPRITE!

JOHN: DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MAGICAL SON OF A BITCH? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

JOHN: THAT STUNT WASN'T COOL! *YOU'RE* NOT COOL!

JOHN: LIKE IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU DUMPED JADE FOR NO REASON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!

JOHN: YOU AND JADE WERE OUR ROCK ON THIS SHIP! YOU HEAR ME?? OUR ROOOOOOOOCK!!!

JADE: :|

JOHN: AND NOW *THIS* BULLSHIT??? WHAT THE HELL, MAN.

JOHN: I DON'T GO AROUND LEAVING FAKE PUZZLES FOR YOU LIKE FROM THE MOVIE SAW, DO I? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME SAY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME EVEN *ONCE*?? WELL, HAVE YOU????

JOHN: NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD STIR UP PAINFUL MEMORIES OF A DEARLY DEPARTED LOVED ONE, AND THEREFORE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY OF ME!!!!!!!!

JOHN: HEY! I SEE YOU THERE!

JOHN: GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, WISE GUY!

JOHN: OH NO, DON'T PLAY DUMB. I CAN SEE YOU PLAIN AS DAY. I'M ON TO YOU, BUDDY.

JOHN: STOP VAGUELY WATERMARKING THE SKY WITH YOUR SMUG DOUCHEY FACE THIS INSTANT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!!!

JOHN: YEAH SURE, LAUGH IT UP! THAT MAKES YOU SEEM LIKE WAY LESS OF A TOOL. NICE GOING BRO!

JOHN: EVERYONE ON THIS BOAT IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE?

JOHN: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MUCH MORE OF A PRICK THAN THE REAL DAVE? YOU ARE THE MOST PISS POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR A BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD.

JOHN: I CAN'T *WAIT* TO MEET UP WITH THE REAL DAVE AGAIN. THAT WAY WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO THE AWESOME STATUS QUO OF PRETENDING YOU NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

JADE: john...

JADE: theres no one there

JOHN: oh he's THERE alright.

JOHN: he's probably just using some sprite magic so only i can see him.

JOHN: don't you see, jade? he's antagonizing ME PERSONALLY, not you. he's done with you, remember?

JOHN: he already used you like a rented mule, and now he is moving on to greener pastures.

JADE: what pastures

JOHN: it's me.

JOHN: I'M the pastures.

JOHN: and now his mule is grazing all over them, while he has a good laugh.

JADE: what

JADE: wasnt i supposed to be the mule?

JADE: i dont think i understand your analogy

JOHN: no, you see, it's...

JOHN: the mule represented, like...

JOHN: i don't know, like the spirit animal of his douchey ways. or something.

JADE: ....

JOHN: augh, WHO CAAARES.

JOHN: who cares about mules, or pastures, or dave sprite's stupid ephemeral sky visage.

JOHN: who cares about anything!!!

JOHN: who cares about my birthday, or nic cage, or this boat full of idiots.

JOHN: JUST.

JOHN: WHO.

JOHN: CARES.

JADE: john i think youre officially throwing a tantrum here

JADE: ...

JADE: john?

JADE: john...

JADE: are you asleep?

JADE: please dont tell me you just fell asleep in your driveway