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h0n3yk1tt3n · 10 months ago

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I was tagged way at the top but I'm rbing from here bc a lot of these sound fun

Left 2 Chill Epilogue (past royal pains contantly biting Jake in the ass that he's trying valiantly to ignore by crushing on Zoe, Rich is jealous but thats not the point cuz this is an Apocalypse au, uhh anything else is a spoiler)

Base story on ao3 rn: Left 4 Dead 2 au. Zombie-esque virus featuring body horror. Death of loved ones displays all the wrong coping methods/responses. An ensemble piece but favors Jake, Zoe, and Jeremy a lot of the time.

Epilogue to be posted in April 2024: We just lived through the fucking zombie apocalypse and need All The Therapy

Tales From the Lagniappe (L2C accompaniment)

The boat ride from Florida to Mississippi to later Louisiana. A collection of drabbles(?) of everyone taking a break to fucking rest after non-stop fighting for their lives. Featuring Jeremy and Zoe being friends, Jake hating Jeremy for it, Rich hanging out with Jared to cope with Jake being an emotion-repressing dumbass, and Alana trying to get her team to bond and generally prevent Jeremy and Jared from biting each others heads off for spoiler reasons.

Merms AU (boyf riends, pinkberry, richjake, past royal pains, Jeremy and Brooke friendship, Michael and Christine friendship)

Deep Sea prince Jeremy meets curious Michael from the Shallows. General star crossed lovers deal. Jer gets nabbed by Pirate Squip and Michael has to enlist Jeremy's guards Rich and Jake to save him, wherein Jake enlists the help of a siren he dated once that brooke kinda maybe totally falls for.

Halo AU (boyf riends, Jeremy and Christine friendship, Michael and Jenna friendship, probably other background ships but I haven't thought too deep into it)

Enhanced space marines. Aliens. Oh shit this soldier from a fleet we don't know (jeremy) is like barely the only survivor of this combined crash/attack we found. Lets heal him up back at base. Hey Michael you're kinda the only one he doesn't hiss and bite at (as much) you should deal with him. This came to me in a fake scenario I made up to fall asleep to and I latched onto it.

Royal Pains Manifesto (take a guess lol, but also richjake and pinkberry come into play)

A la Lara's 5+1 big bang fic except it's much less put together (bc it's incoherent royal pains thoughts ive had since 2022) and we're making things look muuuch less messy before everything just goes to shit.

First Impressions (boyf riends, probably other shit who knows)

Jeremy can do a spot on Hiccup impression. This serves him well when he and Michael run into a couple other httyd cosplayers at comic con. The girl cosplaying Astrid latches onto Hiccup Jer. The girl cosplaying Stormfly vlogs while they all have fun. That vlog blows up on YouTube. Wait those closplayers go to our school?? WAIT THOSE COSPLAYERS WERE BROOKE AND JENNA????

I think that's all I got soooo no pressure tags!! @biscuitbakerbecca @peanut-butter-and-theatre @nezumithewriter

New tag game!!

Put a few of your favorite wips/fics in this post and let people ask about your work! Pitch your ideas briefly in a funny out of context way/incorrect quotes way and see who you have interested!! Put as many as you want! Include a snippet if you want! Promote your works! Put your original works if you want! Talk about your aus! Or one shots! Anything you like! Or don’t do this if you don’t want to!! It’s fine!!

I really want to talk about my stuff and I know some of yall are also dying to talk about your aus(and I want to know more about them them too)so here’s a tag game no one asked for

My wips and fics:

-The Genius Is Heere(boyf riends with background pinkberry and richjake)

*Jeremy’s notebook*

Plan a: save michael

(Secret plan b: win him over)

-Light/Dark academia au(pinkberry and richjake)

CULTS CULTS CULTS CULTS CULTS

-Secret agent au(boyf riends + angsty background richjake)

(michael’s pov) Popular guy(jeremy) is nice and isn’t a doche??? Respects people even??? That’s so suspicious…suspiciously hot.

-After Hours(ships aren’t the main thing)

THERE’S GHOSTS IN OUR SCHOOL!??? (Not clickbait!!) (real ghosts!!) ghost hunting with my friends ep.1!!!!

-Bodyguard au(boyf riends + more angsty richjake)

Suspecting each other and destroying each other’s plans that work towards the same thing because we don’t trust each other and don’t know shit about what the other is planning but oops we’re in love now <333

-Android au(boyf riends)

Jeremy dies and michael builds a robot version of him to escape therapy and reality but gets forced to go to therapy anyways

-We weren’t friends but now we are(richjake)

Au where rich and jake don’t know each other but jake stops rich from setting a fire at his party. Then they fuck.

-Memory Leak(boyf riends)

Childhood best friend(jeremy) becomes a cold hearted assassin but watch me(michael) restore his trust and find out what’s wrong with him(which is an obvious lack of therapy and friends)!!!

-Odyssey au(ships aren’t the main thing)

What is teknology?? Tekboligy??? Technolugt?? Twchnoligy??

(Putting the ships in too in case someone’s notp is here)

Tags(no pressure!!)

@theabyssgazesalsointoyou @h0n3yk1tt3n @lohstandfound

#tag game #be more chill #writing #fanfic #boyf riends #left 2 chill #pinkberry #richjake #royal pains #my emotional support titanic #squip squad #doomed toxic something or other #dear evan hansen #asks

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maybeitsalivescribbles · 1 year ago

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The minute you die, you know what is going to happen to you. The minute you’re reborn, you find yourself at Olympus. The next second, you’re up on your feet and you run. You rush through the colons and you make your legs move at quickly as possible. As you’re a deity now, it’s way faster than it’s ever been on Earth. The trouble is, of course, that everybody here is also one and so anyone could catch you up. You sprint among the clouds. You don’t have time to admire the view. You know very well what is going to happen to you if the God in chief reaches you. Or, more terrifyingly, you don’t exactly know and you don’t want to find out.

Your death was an accident, of course. During your vacation on Greece, you were minding your own business when a very weird guy accosted you. Unable to push him away, you found yourself stuck in a dinner you didn’t want while he was making most of the conversation. Oh, he knows a lot of words all right. It’s a shame that “no” is not part of his vocabulary, at least when you’re the one who’s saying it. You couldn’t get away. No matter how hard you tried, he always seemed to find out where you were hiding. He told you several times he was a god, Zeus himself, but of course you didn’t believe it. Until the moment when you were forced to run away from the country, and once in the boat, he materialized in front of you. Panicked, you’ve jumped back. Unfortunately, it was the place where the deep blue sea was, and well, maybe you shouldn’t have skipped your swimming lessons in middle-school, but it’s a little too late now to regret that.

Once dead, you briefly saw Hades who wisely decided he wanted nothing to do with this and sent you right up at Olympus. He advised you to yield to his brother, because once “he’s satisfied, he gives up very quickly”. That’s the kind of suggestion that makes you sprint faster.

A deity you might be, but you can still be tired. You can still be hungry. After several hours of running, you begin to think about taking a break more and more, but the idea of his face popping in front of you motivates you into going farther and farther. You know there’s nowhere you can hide, you’re not even sure your escape was for something. Maybe he patiently waits for you to be exhausted before appearing again. This thought stops you right there. You stay still for a moment, wiping the sweat off your face and trying to spot anything suspicious. Seeing that you’ve not yet been kidnapped, you give yourself a moment to look where you are. There’s nothing around but a modest house made of stone. You’re close enough to smell the odor of soup that is coming from the windows. Your stomach grumbles. Before you decide how foolish it is to knock and ask for a refuge, the door opens. A middle-aged woman smiles at you. She’s larger than tall, and she’s also very beautiful. There’s something disarming about her smile. You feel the tension on your shoulders ease a little.

“Come on in, sweetie”, she says.

You don’t answer. You don’t even wonder if this is a trap. You step closer without a word. The door closes behind you and you follow the unknown woman into the kitchen. On the cooking pot over the fire, the liquid simmers and your stomach answers back. It smells of chicken and coriander and cabbage and you whisper bashfully:

“Please, can I have some ?”

“Of course”, she replies in a soothing tone.”Every traveler is welcome here.”

She gives you a look and adds softly:

“And no harm ever come to my hosts. You’re quite safe here.”

She gives you a bowl full of soup and a wooden spoon, and you follow her as she goes through the small courtyard in the middle of the house. She invites you to settle yourself on a reclining couch in the living room. You don’t dare lay down, there’s no way you won’t spill your meal. Instead, you sit on the edge. Your bowl burns your knees but you don’t dare mention it. You don’t even know if you can eat it - you’ve recently learned that a Greek god mostly consumes nectar and ambrosia. At your relief though, everything is all right when you swallow your first sip. It tastes as nice as it smells. On the table by you, there are plates of olives and dried figs. You give a grateful look to your host who’s laid on a couch nearby and contemplates you with an air of maternal satisfaction. Once your hunger is mostly satisfied, you risk to ask about her, and she obligingly answers:

“I am Hestia, goddess of the hearth and the house.”

You don’t know her, but maybe it’s for the best. All the stories about the Greek gods include some atrocity or two. Maybe there is no tale about her because she stays in her little house, far from trouble. At least it’s your hope before she adds:

“I am the oldest sister of Zeus.”

The bowl shivers on your knees. She notices and smiles sadly:

“I know about you, child. Were you pursued ?”

You nod. She sighs:

“You have to understand, it’s a very hard time for him. He was a great king once, but since he’s lost some of his power – I don’t say that to make him look bad, of course, times change, that is all – he’s gotten a bit desperate. So when he sees a mortal with potential, he has great difficulty to control himself. You mustn’t resent him too much. Maybe you should learn to know him.”

A violent shudder runs through your spine.

“I don’t want to” you whisper, shaking your head uncontrollably.

“Try not to look at this so negatively. It means you’re special. Not a lot of people can say a god has fallen for them.”

Your stomach drops into your feet. The goddess in front of you means well, and tries sincerely to be nice to you. However, nice doesn’t mean kind, even less good, and her advice is killing you. The more she talks, the more you feel you have no choice, you have no voice, you are nothing. In a spur of despair, you interject:

“Can’t someone help here ? Can’t someone hide me, or tell me how to escape ?”

“No one can hide from my brother.”

“At least I want to try...something. Anything.”

“You’re not reasonable.”

There’s a moment of silence. You have enough. Unwillingly, your eyes well up. Hestia watches as the first tear rolls down your cheek. Biting her lip, she seems to ponder something, and reluctantly whispers:

“Well...maybe there’s someone you can talk to. I shouldn’t tell you that,” she adds quickly. “It’s not a sensible thing to do. However, he is a seer, so maybe he could tell you a little more about your situation. And you were a human before, after all. He has a soft spot for humans.”

“Who is he ? How can I meet him ?”

“He doesn’t show much here. I don’t know a lot about Earth nowadays, but do you have some kind of human technology to communicate with someone ? Like a horn, or a piece of parchment ?”

You pull out your phone from your pocket.

“Something like this ?”

She gives the strange object in your hand a dumbfounded look.

“...I suppose ? How does that work ?”

You press a green icon. Your phone rings in the emptiness. One time. Two times. Three times. Hestia and you jump a little when you hear the main door opening and closing. For a moment, you dread that it is Zeus himself, but you’re proven wrong. An old, very tall man stands in the room. You barely have time to be surprised by how modern his clothes look. A screwdriver sticks out from one of his multiple pockets, and he still have his phone in his hand.

Most importantly, judging by his eyes, he seems very, incredibly angry. He glares daggers at your host who braces herself, clearly preparing for what’s to come.

“Again ? How many times ?”

“I welcome thee, Prometheus,” Hestia sighs.

“I salute you, daughter of Chronos, sister of a tyrant who has never dealt with his loss of power.”

“And you’ve never tried to be understanding” she answers, a note of reproach in her voice. “For all your knowledge, maybe this is making you unable to see the big picture.”

That doesn’t seem to calm the new visitor at all. He steps in the middle of the room between you and her, his voice fierce:

“And what is the big picture, child ? What is your strange version of it ? How easily you forget, how comfortable it must be ! I remember Europa, Danae, Leda, Aegina, Ganymedes and Io, poor maiden Io. I remember gods letting their glorious king do whatever he wanted with them and Hera exert revenge on the mortals as she pleased. And if these scales are not big enough for you, daughter of Chronos, I remember the flood and all the times humanity was nearly crushed to extinction. There are too much to count. What I don’t remember is one of the Olympians raising their voice on any of this, including you.”

“I am not involved in Earth business,” says Hestia. “It’s not my function to take a stance. I’m taking care of my family and any of my hosts. It is quite enough for me. Take a couch, Fire-bringer.”

He doesn’t, though he angrily pops a fig in his mouth. All of this leaves you unsure of the wisdom of Hestia’s decision to call this newcomer. The epithet does nothing to reassure you. Indeed, this deity seems like he has a temper to decimate forests. You make a shy tentative to defuse the situation:

“Um, I’m sorry I’ve disturbed you, sir ?”

The change on his expression is nearly magical. All anger vanishes from his face and he crouches in front of you to meet your eyes, his voice suddenly soft:

“No, not you ! This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, and you were right to call me. ”

You feel your pulse has gone steady again. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last, because the next words that fall out of his mouth are:

“There’s no time to put this delicately. You are in great danger. You can’t run forever, and there’s no place to hide. The only way you can escape him is by changing yourself.”

“Change ?”

“You are a deity, but you don’t have a title yet, or a function. You must change into someone he won’t be able to grasp. It’s your decision to make. What is it going to be, new deity ? Who are you ?”

“ I am…”

You hesitate.

« I am... »

You repeat yourself several times, but you can’t go further. Having two gods in the same room than you does not help. You never were too good to think under pressure, there’s too much information to absorb at the same time. In your past life you were a waiter in a bar, but there are already several people who take care of wine, drunkenness, and food. None of this would repel Zeus. You’re getting a little distraught. Prometheus doesn’t seem to mind the wait – he has already half-emptied the fig plate – but you see Hestia giving signs of unrest. More than once she’s gazed at the door. You apologize to her.

“You’re my host,” she answers, her voice anxious. “No harm will ever come to you in my house. However, if my brother comes here, I cannot let him outside.”

You bury your head in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I really can’t think of anything good.”

You hear a slight clinking. You open your fingers slightly and you see some lone figs in a plate under your eyes.

“Try them before going,” says Prometheus. “You’ll be safer in my workshop.”

“Really ?”

Hestia says nothing, but it’s clear she shares your surprise.

“I have no reason to accept Zeus in my household,” he dryly retorts. I think he’ll find quite difficult to enter in without permission.”

“That’s what you wish,” says Hestia.

“That’s what I wish and what is true. Your brother isn’t the king of the universe anymore. Things have changed.”

He holds his hand out.

“There’s no reason to linger here. Are you ready to come ?”

Hesitant, you decide to eat your treat first. While you finish to chew, he turns his head towards Hestia:

“Thank you for warning me. And your food is still pretty good.” he adds a little reluctantly.

Hestia smiles at you as you both disappear from her house. You didn’t have the presence of mind of thanking her before it’s too late. Maybe you will be able to...after you’ll make up your mind.

When your new host told you about “a workshop”, you didn’t expect it to be some kind of huge maze. You suddenly understand why even the king of Olympus would not find his way easily in here. You pass areas that look like shiny white laboratories, with lines of microscopes and huge machines you can’t even begin to comprehend. Some rooms look like museums, with objects carefully labeled in their glass display cases. More than once you stop to examine one thing or another, before he gently reminds you that you’re not here to visit (although he does admit that his collection of flint tools is pretty amazing.) Himself stops only once, when a lady with literal waves of blue hair comes to meet you. Her eyes twinkle at your sight and she presents herself as your new host’s spouse. Intertwining her fingers with her husband’s, she adds:

“My name is Hesione, newcomer, and you’re welcome here. Can someone explain what is happening ?”

Mumbling, you try to resume the situation. Prometheus’ wife loses her smile.

“ Poor child ! I’m sorry for what happened to you. There’s a study room here if you want to rest.”

You obediently follow her. As all of this has left you overwhelmed, you ask to be left alone for a little while, so you can brainstorm in peace. Hesione wishes you good luck before getting out. To make sure you’re comfortable, Prometheus brings you a table, several kinds of seats, a rug (if you don’t want a seat), a pair of slippers (if you need to pace up and down), a notepad (to write your ideas), an encyclopedia (your knowledge of Greek mythology is a bit rusty), a computer (with an insanely fast Internet connection), a tablet (in case you don’t like keyboards), a phone (with several kinds of apps to organize ideas), a weighted blanket (to help you focus), a fidget spinner (in your favorite color), water (to clear your thoughts), alcohol (to relax your thoughts), and grilled poultry wings (in case you need a snack; they’re delicious, you suppose that all the gods associated with fire are all very good cooks). He then closes the door, telling you that he’s there if you ever need anything else.

You don’t think you need anything else. He’s already brought you half the objects manufactured on Earth.

However, you still have no idea what to do.

You try very hard, though. You browse the encyclopedia and Internet for hours and hours. You learn many interesting things, but nothing clicks. It seems there is already a god or a goddess for everything, and you don’t want to be changed into a tree or an echo or another inanimate object just to escape your fate. Time passes. Time passes too much. You don’t know how long you’ll be allowed to stay here, how long it will be safe, if you put your hosts in any danger. You don’t want people hurt for your sake. You’re too much trouble for nothing.

You finally decide to get out of your room. You don’t know how you can get away without been noticed, but…

“It’s already in you, you know.”

Ah.

You stop. You go towards the voice. Prometheus is inside of what you can actually call a workshop. He doesn’t even turn his head towards you, focused as he is on his work. He’s wood-carving.

“It isn’t”, you say. “I’m empty.”

“No, you’re not. You were a human, and as such full of impulses and emotions and ideas. I know better than anyone.”

You stay silent for a minute, trying to gather your thoughts. There is something soothing in watching him work. In very little time, the bit of wood he had in this hands has become an oval shape. It’s too early to know what it’s going to be, but you like it like that, it’s fun to guess what form it will take. It’s nearly with regret you see it take definite humanoid features.

“Well, maybe, but it’s all...useless. I’m no one special, you know. When I was human, I had no special talent or abilities, I’ve never been really noticed by anyone – before now, I mean – I just tried to survive, basically.”

“All these millennia,” says the Titan, “and I’ve never seen a human who wasn’t special. Have you thought that maybe you were looking at this the wrong way ?”

He puts the knife he was working with on the table, chooses a chisel instead, and adds:

“Forget about Zeus. Nothing good will come from him. What would you like your function to be ?”

“I don’t know...everything seems too big for me.”

“You think you have to do something impressive in order to save yourself, but it’s not true. There’s nothing impressive about being a god.”

“Still….”

He interrupts you in a cutting tone:

“My function was supposed to be fore-thinking. It’s not impressive. It’s also the function of my wife. She’s a river nymph, one among her thousands of sisters. It’s not impressive. There are gods who take care of beekeeping, cooling breezes, fishing-nets. All of this might be important, but very unimpressive, and certainly none of that is above you.”

Without warning, he throws his miniature at you. You yelp, lean forwards to catch it at the last moment, and clasp in your hands the tiny wooden human. It’s not animate, of course, but it’s eerie in its perfection. You think about the imprecise oval shape it was before with an ounce of absurd regret.

You raise your head towards your host, who gives you a fond smile. Maybe he guessed you finally had a breakthrough.

“What is it going to be, young deity ?”

Playing with the figurine, you tell him your idea. It’s scarcely concrete, scarcely logical, and nothing dramatic. But it’s yours, and it’s all you have.

You ask to be sent back to Earth so you can exert your function.

You don’t lack assignments, and you never will, but you’re okay with that. You’re used to work hard and serving multiple people at the same time.

You’re here, of course, when the children learn to walk and succeed for the first time, but not just that.

A girl manages the courage to show up at her volley competition and you’re here.

A teen signs up for college and you’re here.

A young person begins to chat with a support group and you’re here.

A man sends his resume to the enterprise he wants and you’re here.

Another man sends his resignation letter to an enterprise he hates and you’re here.

A depressed middle-aged women succeeds to stand up after having spent all her day in bed and you’re here.

A widow opens a tutorial to learn how to draw and you’re here.

An old man finally sends the mail to his doctor and you’re here.

You’re the deity of the First Step. You’re not exciting. You’re not pretty. Your hands are dirty. Tyrants – all the kinds of tyrants - sneer at you. “Oh, it’s only you”; “It’s only that.” You have your fair share of contempt, and are only barely acknowledged long after you’ve gone. You’re very far from success, after all. You’ve never seen Zeus again.

You’re not impressive, but you always show up. You’re at the beginning of everything. It’s tedious, hard work, but all in all you feel you fulfill your function pretty well. You spend a lot of time on Earth and the rest with the deities who are not embarrassed to talk to you. You still regularly see Prometheus, his wife, their children and grandchildren.

After all, humanity owes you a little bit, doesn’t it ?

Back to Fantasy Masterlist (I know I know it's mythology)

Congratulations! You’re getting reborn. On the plus side, you’ll be a god/goddess. Downside, you’ll be a Greek god/goddess and Zeus is mad at you. Good luck.

#short story #mythology #greek gods #greek mythology #greek titans #Hestia #Prometheus #I’m impressed I’ve gone a couple of weeks without babbling about Prometheus #sir he’s my emotional support deity I love him I love him so much #I was a bit harsh on Hestia I swear I genuinely like her #hesione #writeblr #writers on tumblr #original fiction #my writing #writing snippet #writing drabble #writing dialogue

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