#my eardrums dont but my heart does

[edgarallanpoestan]

"jaiden and cellbit are close because of their relationship with roier" "jaiden and cellbit are close because of their ties with the federation" WRONG jaiden and cellbit are close because they both jump and shriek whenever they get startled (which is alarmingly often)

[xxeycisxx]

Ache | Matt Murdock

Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: you feel really bad and matt holds you.

Author's note: I know mental illness doesn't work like that, but girls can dream, okay? Also, this is my first fanfiction i am posting here and english is not my first language, so if there is any typo, i am sorry!

Word-count: 654

masterlist here

You found yourself lying in your bed.

The world around you didn’t feel right, almost like it wasn’t even real and it made you feel anxious. Terified. It‘s touching every nerve in your body, every inch of your skin feels like it‘s not yours. Every sound that makes it‘s way through the thick walls of your apartment irritates you. Even if not loud, it feels like your eardrums are being violated. Your brain hurts. Every thought that comes in your brain is painful.

You shift on your bed, try to make it better by changing your position. You try to focus on the feeling of squeezing your bedsheets in your hands. Or looking on your ceiling, finding some minor details, that are familiar to you and maybe it will give your mind something to concentrate on.

But nothing around you does seem real. More like sort of crooked.

You try to close your eyes.

„What is happening to me?“ you wonder.

Your heart is beating fast. Maybe if you could cry, it would make you feel a bit better. Maybe it could create an escape for all those negative emotions that are overflowing your brain. But nothing comes out.

You just lie there. Trying to understand what is happening to you. Finding only hopelesness and fear, that it’s going to be like this forever.

You hear a different noise. This one comes from inside of your apartment. You dont turn around to see who it is, but after a few moments, you feel someone‘s hands touching you softly. You could recognize his touch anywhere. It was gentle. Loving.

„Are you okay?“ he asked. His voice almost scared you in your state of mind. You felt embarrased. How can you explain something you don’t understand either?

„I dont know,“ your voice sounded different to you, it came out of your mouth, but it felt as if it belonged to someone else. Matt placed his hand on your shoulder. He could hear your heartbeat, how fast and heavy it was.

„What can I do to help you?“ seeing you like this hurt him. And in your better days, it made you feel guilty, that you are the one making him feel bad. Why couldn’t you just be normal like everybody else?  He would most likely be much happier with someone, who doesn’t have to deal with things like this. You felt like a burden. And you didn’t want to pressure him into feeling like it was his burden to bear.

„Just don’t leave, please,“ you were almost begging him. You hated the feeling of him seeing you now. But you couldn’t do this on your own. You needed him. You needed to feel him. And some stupid part of you still believed, that maybe, even if he sees you like this, it won’t scare him off. He will, for some unknown reason, choose to stay.  

He said nothing. But you felt his big hands taking you and squeezing you tightly to his chest. You desparately curled up in his arms like a baby needing physical reassurence of your safety.

You both stayed in the bed like this. You tried to concentrate on his heart, while your head rested on his chest. It brought you comfort, something that you longed for so much. You felt your muscles slowly relaxing and after a while, your body no longer felt like it was made out of cold stone. His body radiated warm that gradually saturated your whole world. With him, being so close, you could smell him, it reminded you of sweet cinnamon and vanilla, but it was somehow so much better than that. He was so close to you. Right here. You could touch him. Feel him. He was right beside you. He did not leave you.

You fell asleep after a while. With him, holding you, hoping you could freeze this moment and stay like this forever.

.

.

if you wanna be tagged under my work in taglist, you can apply here!

[t0rturedangel]

Ummmm im sorry to bother but can we get some frank knight x reader fluff please

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐔𝐓𝐘 - ♡

Frank Knight x Reader - fluff

A/N :: Sorry i havent been posting guys ! I havent had much motivation but now i'll post more i promise ! Also i have more new fandoms i'll write for <33 ALSO THIS WAS REQUESTED TWICE SO I HOPE THE SECOND PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS IS HAPPY WITH THIS !!

" Y/n, my office now please " You heard the familiar voice of your chief, sighing you got up ignoring all the cheeky whispers from your colleges as you walked to her office, they snickered, eyes following you making you uncomfortable.

Entering the office you noted how your chief was clearly annoyed, sitting down she began to talk. " Thank you for coming Y/n " she sighed and in return you gave her a nervous smile " My pleasure Chief, so- uhm what did i do wrong now? " you asked thinking you messed up again as you did have a reputation of being a trouble maker, the only reason why she kept you with the team is because you're a relative of hers and she has a soft spot for you.

" You didn't do anything n/n, its Frank " your eyes widened for a second and one of your brows raised, confusion evident of your features " What about him? What did he do? " Leaning forward you held the end of her desk for support of your upper body " He's gotten really drunk again and i want you to find him and look after him- also please try to sober him up he has a new case " " So i have to baby sit him? " you deadpanned, disappointed you'd much rather be in trouble rather than look after Frank, you didnt hate the guy its just that sometimes he was too much.

" In a way yes, i do hope this isnt an issue, is it? " Her gaze darkened and you knew that you had no say in the matter so you didnt even bother to try and argue with her " Nope, it isnt an issue auntie, i'll go and babysit him " you groaned standing up and quickly leaving her office not letting her lecture you about calling her auntie at work

It didnt take you long to find Frank, he was by a pub laughing and singing his drunk heart out and bursting your eardrums out while he does. No, seriously, he sucks at singing. Getting out of your car you went over to the older man " Frank! Buddy hey, what cha doing ? " You grinned even though you knew what he was doing and wanted to create a conversation with him to distract him while leading him back to the car.

Frank 'huh-ed' in a slurred voice before turning to you a wobblily grin on his face as he registered who you were " Y/N !!!! " He yelled out swinging an arm around your shoulders pulling you into a hug to which you gaged " Ew- fuck Frank you reek of booze and vomit ! " you glared at him slightly pushing him as a way of getting away from him and his stench but he held on firmly " I dont fucking stink you little cheeky twat " he pulled you closer making you gag " Fucks sake Frank ! " you hissed " We need you to get sobered up ! You have a new case to work on ! " " Oh my fucking god " Frank groaned his grip loosened letting you easily get away from him.

" I dont wanna work on shit- " " You think i dont know that? You alway complain about it but you cant do anything about it so why dont you shut up and lets go get you some water yeah? " You grabbed the back of his shirt and led him to the car despite his and his friends' rebottle against you doing so.

Quickly you both sat down in the car, you being in the divers seat and Frank in the passengers, pulling out a cold water bottle you turned to him " This might not help- like at all- but still drink this, you need something different than beer " and as you chucked the bottle over he barely caught it, groaning as he gulped down massive amounts of the flavorless liquid. After he was done he looked over at you a small smile on his face as his eyes glossed over slightly. Was he about to cry? What for?

" Ya know kid, i like you " "Frank you have a wife " " NOT LIKE THAT !- I mean- you remind me of my girls ya know? you just remind me so much of them with your personality and all that other shit " You sighed and shook your head slightly " Thank for that Frank, now i think you should go to sleep might help speed up the sober-ing up process " that comment made you receive a scoff from Frank before he leaned back and immediately passed out.

Starting up the car you looked over to the sleeping man a small smile on your face " Thanks for that Frank, you know you remind me of a dad . . . " gripping the steering wheel you drove off not noticing the grin on Franks face

[jinkicake]

I think the mean men are taking rotations in my head,,,, bc now it’s Lucifer turn😞😞 I heard this dude on Tiktok do like a seep voice thirst trap and I literally was weak in the knees!! Like I was imagining Lucifer behind me and I folded like origami 😭 like pls I was pulling for scara today🙂 but it was something like “ surely you don’t think your own fingers can bring you as much pleasure as I can? Imagine how deep inside you they could reach; you seem distracted should I assist?” And I was on the floor gasping for air bc he does have nice hands😩like honestly the 5”5 men have been dragging me so I forgot I had a size kink so this tall asf man letting me sit in his lap and I can lean I to him like a beanbag 😔💦 like he would talk directly into my eardrums and it would be over for me like if he really wanted mc to behave he could have just seduced me ngl Belphegor can stay up there🥰🥰 but also seeing that my beloved wanderer is not as easily aggravated as he was before is SO great bc I can be the one to agitate him🤭 like he’s trying to start his redemption arc snd not beat people up; but there’s me to annoy him every step of the way. 100 would steal the gnosis to give it back to him bc ik there not gunna give it to Ei and wtf is that little napkin flavor baby gunna do?? Shes on house arrest!! He’s bit evil so give it back!! Behaving like a menace for dick>>>> like if him or Lucifer aren’t under my tree wtf was Christmas for??

omgggggg.... i've been waiting for this for so long. I knew lucifer would make an appearance, I just had to be patient!

you need to forget those anemo clowns and get a real demon! not a 5'0 puppet!!!!! (heheh just kidding xiao, you're not a clown!) speaking of puppet, have you pulled scaramouche yet? how many wishes have you spent T T I LOVE his playstyle like WHy did they give him the ability to fly because he's now the best character like he's so damn fun

no literally like if lucifer showed me an ounce, a mere pinch, of affection then Belphie would have stayed up in the attic until I died likeeeeee i'll be lucifer's little snitch for my whole life! his good human! if that is what it takes for some lucifer cawk!

also yeah i dont hate his redemption arc (i cant believe im saying that) omg i saw a video of scara in someone's teapot and he's SO sweet, so kind. he is not helping my delusional yandere scara addiction likeeeee yes i want him to be nice and kind to me while still being a complete psycho to others </3 you can hide me away forever! you know what's best, scaramouche!

no bc i'll literally kick nahida's ass like send that little archon flying across the room so i can give the genosis back to scara... i don't want to see him cryingggg HSDIUFHADSIJ SHE IS A NAPKIN FLAVORED BABYYYYYFSDF LITERALLY

yeah i would act completely fucking dumb for lucifer cawk if that pleases him.... if that is what it will take to get him under my tree.... i want scara in my stocking!

[O.M.G. also... why have we NOT as a society (society being you and me LOL) talked about how good dilucs jpn va is. LIKE i was playing w him today bc i wanted to hear giorno and his va went to work like i kick my feet and giggle every time i do his burst andddd KAEYA TOOOOO like today i played JUST w kaeya and diluc to hear their vas...... it had my heart racing! their voices make them ten times hotter like omggg hottest characters in the game (itto and ayato-gaara look the other way]

[sailorhyunjinz]

what do you think cuddle with skz would be like?

hmm,,, feels like ive been writing a bunch of fluff lately hehehe but let's do iiiiiit

Warnings; suggestive content~

Bangchan

a classic spooner

prefers to be the big spoon since he can hold you and it feeds his size kink ;))

may or may not press his bulge against your ass just to make you flustered

but would end up flustering himself lmao

doesnt mind your hair getting in his mouth or you wriggling about since he loves you too much to tell you anything ehhehe

will tell you about his day softly as his lips are close to your ear

leaving small kisses in between sentences cause you look so cute >:((

may or may not pat your butt

"you feel so warm and snuggly y/n" he says as he squeezes you tightly to your chest

bonus points if you giggle or like snort when you laugh he lives for that shit

Minho

legit cuddles in complete darkness

NOT BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO SEE YOU but because all other sense get hightened? (ok this sounds kinky its not i promise)

he just likes seeing nothing and just hearing the peaceful sound of your breathing followed with small whimpers (i give up)

in true catboy fashion he will rub his face on yours or anywhere else on your body (tits if you have those or ass)

also likes resting his head on your thighs since he can look up at you (and make fun of your dubble chin)

weird cat noises he only does when he's alone with you to signal that he wants a kiss

or he just pouts and points at his lips

if you dont give him kisses he wont hesitate to scream in your ear rip eardrums i guess

Changbin

arm pillow babeeeey

because you always tell him how sturdy his arms are and he blushes every time ahsahs

his other hand is usually resting on your tummy, tracing small circles or other figures on the soft skin

has the habit of talking about himself too much but you dont mind since he's always so excited talking about future projects or date nights he's planned

strokes your hair and gives you scalp massage if he's feeling extra

might or might not start sucking hickies on your neck heheheh

or start ya know,,, undressing you

poor boy cant help himself when he's this close to you

will always look at you with a slightly suggestive look MAYBE THATS JUST HIS RESTING FACE BUT LIKE- you cant help but to crack up every time and he's confused ahshash

craves attention, dont even turn around. eyes on him

Hyunjin

holds your hand the entire time

also loves to have his head on your chest since he can hear your stable heartbeat and it makes him calm

will probably fall asleep before you since he's just that comfy in your warm grasp

loves it when you continue to stroke his hair or cheek even when he's asleep

says "i love you" probably over a thousand times

like a fucking woodpecker on your lips my guy loves pecking you

in love when you wrap your legs around him >:((

also in love when you get all whiny if you dont get what you want

"hyunjinnieee!! hug me!!" you squeal out but hyunjin wants to tease you a bit, not reacting to your request

"b-but jinnie~ then im gonna steal it!" you say before wrapping your arms tightly around him causing him to crack up, his heart just melted

Jisung

can never just cuddle??

you guys always need to either watch a movie or fuck, just cuddling is if he's had a bad day

will 100% cry in your arms if he's not feeling well

loves nuzzling his face in the crock of your neck

so clingy?? dont you dare leave him to "get something" he will be a koala on your back

secretly likes being the small spoon >:(

"y/n~ come baaaack~ it's getting cold here!!"

loves it when you're squishing his cheeks or taking pictures of him when he's all cuddly and cute

🥁 PLAY 🥁 WITH 🥁 HIS 🥁 HAIR 🥁

especially if you have long nails, he loves when you scratch his hair UGH HE GETS ALL SQUIRMY

Felix

awh he loves when the two of you are looking at each other

always tells you how pretty your eyes are, that he can get lost in them because he's cheesy like that

say something cute about his freckles and he's putty in your hands

omgomgomg will bring cookies and hot chocolate to bed

massages for dayyyyssss

his favorite is hand massages because he's massaging you and holding your hand at the same time! WINWIN SITUATION

kisses on your cheeks >:((

BUT HE EXPECT JUST AS MANY KISSES BACK!!

rubs his hair all over you

he claims that he's "leaving his scent" so that you know that you belong to him

Seungmin

nose kisses~

"you're mine!"

lots of baby talk from our beloved puppy boy like he gets a slight lisp? (kimchi jjigae walkie talkie yah)

likes having his arms wrapped around your waist since you cant escape him then hehehe

give him kisses, he needs them all over his face

i have a weird feeling that he's warm? human radiator basically

so every time you are complaining that its cold he will just open his arms

also this is not cuddling but he will trade gloves with you because he's warmed up his own gloves while you are still freezing

protect him and he will protect you

i basically picture two cats cuddling, thats the energy

Jeongin

legits want you to just lie on top of him LMAO SUFFOCATE HIM WITH LOVE

will talk about the most random stuff ever

will prepare one random fact when you lie close to him in his arms

"did you know that avocadoes are berries?"

followed by a cute giggle and it just makes your heart melt >:(

"oh and also did you know that i love you?" AAAAAH he's honestly adorable (ok cherry we get it)

will also tickle you randomly because it makes you laugh and he loves it

you are the only person that gets to have your hands on his,,, abs ;))

smiles when you kiss him a-and then he hides underneath the blanket :(

[taegularities]

HALF A DAY LATER BUT I AM HERE!!!

hello, beautiful rid💜

A tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pink lips coming close to yours and dark eyes reading your desire in your pupils. “What other girls when there’s you?”

ooof???!!

[…] as you plead, “Just… fuck me dumb and stupid. Please. I’ll leave right after if you want me to, but I just–”

ma’am this is a mcdonald’s drive through

Because deeper thoughts mean attachment. Deeper thoughts mean missing each other without provocation, no proper trigger needed. Deeper thoughts mean dedication, craze and losing yourself in someone’s devotion.

let’s revisit this line chapters later

But you wonder if you ignite something new in him the way he does in you; something anyone else doesn’t.

NO!!! but yes i mean

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” you blurt, biting your lip right away as you watch his form freeze on his mattress. His cheeks are flushed from the sex you just had, and you can see them grow one shade darker as soon as he registers your words. “Please.”

AAAAH

You roll your eyes in exhaustion, shaking your head as you remark, “Your fantasies are truly as wild as a four year old’s.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Considering the fact that Jungkook studies at the university with saved money while balancing his bank account carefully, it’s only natural that he feels uneasy with your offer. And sitting here with you, the daughter of arguably one of the richest families in town and your country, his discomfort only grows further.

baby :(

He thinks of the stray bristles of his used brushes that accompany all of his paintings. Remembers all the nights he gave up on his work, unsatisfying strokes on his canvas frustrating the perfectionist in him. His watercolours are too old, acrylics dried.

i just know i love him so much already

Shrill laughter of a group of people in the background interrupts your train of thoughts, accompanied by overwhelming claps – whoever made the joke of the century, must have caused a broken eardrum or two.

jung hoseok is this u

You wonder if he called Nara similar names tonight.

we don’t need this

Perhaps not through his actions – you don’t think he’d ever jab your heart on purpose.

😭😞

“I feel like I’m in The Princess Diaries or something.”

PLSSSS

But Jungkook only shrugs his shoulders, smiling at you before he ignores your orders further. With a relaxed, bored tone in his voice, he says, “The food lands in my tummy anyway.”

he’s so cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 i can’t stop giggling!!!!

“Always begging for me, aren’t you?”

WE MUST STAY FOCUSED, BROTHERS

Jungkook audibly holds his breath for a moment when you straddle him, shaking your slippers off your feet as you wrap your arms around his neck. He straightens his back, staring up into your hooded gaze as he insists, “I think you’re prettier.”

🫣 but also 🥰

“No neighbours… means… no one here to complain about the sounds you pull out of me.”

OH?

“By the way. Talking about boyfriend privileges… you’re also the first one to see my collection of… Percy Jackson books…”

JEON JUNGKOOK IS SUCKLING AT YOUR NECK, WE DONT CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!

“Aren’t you brave today? You know I’m gonna take your ability to speak, right?”

“What, you think I’m scared of,” you eye him up and down, puffing out a mocking breath, “your ridiculous dick?” His jaw clenches, though he doesn’t seem offended or mad; rather, you feel another jerk of his cock, pleasantly satisfied. “Try me, Kookie.”

PLAKSNEKIAIS SYES GIRL!!!!!

“Could fucking punish you for this big mouth of yours. Tie you up and smudge your fucking make up,” you hear him say from above as he pulls down his clothing and sets his girthy length free.

I NEED A MINUTE OK??!!!!!

“Well… you’re gonna pretend some for your parents,” he looks at you, a lopsided smirk appearing, “then, you’re gonna fall for me,” fingers trace your shoulder and arm; and for some reason, you let him, “and you’re gonna beg me to stay because you find me so,” he lowers his voice, unnecessarily dramatic, film dialogue-ish, “undeniably hot.”

uh maybe jeon wtf 😳

[…] nudging your shoulder with his own as he assures, “Deal. Don’t worry about the papers. There’s just you anyway.”

AGAIN?

i’m so excited for the next updates!!!

AWWWWH DEAREST PAULI, A FEEDBACK WITH QUOTES, THIS IS LITERALLY SO SWEET !!!!!

the mcdonald's drive through comment made me cackle 😭 and u know what.... yes let's revisit those lines later, we might all just be mocking oc then 😔 and gosh i love him, too !!! the things i've planned with cmi!jk made me fall for him SO HARD. i hope u feel the same once the story proceeds 💕

btw, jung hoseok 👀 nara 👀 HMMM

SERIOUSLY WHO CARES ABOUT PERCY JACKSON, we've got jk bruising our neck 😔 AND YES AGAIN.... she's the only one.... she is, right? riiight?

gosh thank u for reading, love, this is so lovely and i can't wait for the next update either !! 😭 <3

[undermattsun-archive]

japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

i go dwnstars, yelling ‘by mum!’ bfor laceing up my wite convrrse hightops (NOT blck becauz u cant sharpi on it) wth 1d lyrics scribbled on it. i rmb to draw a directioner infinite sign on mywrist. perfect, i think to mysdlf.

I never thot i would get to go to the olympics all the way on the other side of the planet in toky o japan! It was a dream come true for a simple, average, run of the mill girrl like me, who is 5’7 with naturally wavy hair, that’s not curly or strait and eyes as blue as the dark blue part of the ocean. 

I been dreaming of the olypoics since fetus. I just knew I had to be here, but I never thought it would actually happen. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a smezxy smexy boyfrwend! (A/n: Tee-hee! Maybe even two! (Or five! <333) haha! Aren’t I so quirky? <3)

I’m Wearing A Mint Green Crop Top That Ties In The Front And Some Denim Shorts With Black Converse. I Don’t Need Makeup Because My Skin Is Naturally Smooth And Clear And My Lips Are Already Red #wokeuplikethis And I Listened Only To MCR And P!ATD On The Plane Ride. I Bet You Dont Know Who They Are, THey’re My Favorite Banxds And Are Super GOod And Like Underground Bands. (A/n: Okay But If You Don’t LIke Welcome TO THe BLack Parade GTFO Of My FIc I Don’t Need YOu Here xoxo) 

ok so like,, im on my way to the olympics but then like, i get kidnapped !!! the car i was in was like super expensive and i cant see anything with the blindfold on. i hear voices of men all around me though, for like, a whole 30 minutes before they bring me somewhere and tie me up? "Take Her BLindfold off," one of them say, i hear. and im so nervous. but it's like a dream when they tug my blindfold off and im met with the prettiest emerald orbs ever looking back at me.

my stomach knotted in fear (more like an angry swarm of butterflies fluttering around ) i feel like screaming or squealing or both bc those eyes belong to someone so gorgeous . even more gorgeous than harry styles. hes like a god. i woukd so worship his foot. or something. (squee omg i can’t believe this is happening. i bet you wish that it was you huh?) 

bro who tf has emerald orbs green eyes im blanking rn

^ yo i was gonna ask i cannot for the life of me remember who

his #afff14 sppheres peered into my soul i really just felt seen. i took a deep breath before fainting he was just so pretty. *one hours later* i woke upa nd saw the pretty viridescent peepers staring into mine. like he was literally two inches away from my face omg i could feel his minty breath on my lips it smelled so good.

“My name is atsumu miya,” he said gruffly, the gruffness in his voice so gravely. “And me and me mates here think yer the most gorgeous girl weve ever seen. I blink up at him, orbs gleaming amd full of tears. 

“What do u mean, i’m just a normal quirky girl?” I say shakely, biting my lip. I bit my lip as the piss blond man spoke.

“You don’t know ur beautiful.” YOUR INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WAlk THROUGH THE DO OO OOOOOR

“U may be a normal quirky girl but ur OUR nroaml quirky girl now” his friend said with a deep voice. It was so deep that i almost thot it was like the ocean, he had curly balck hair and his eye were sooo mysterious (a/n i loooove sakusa i can’t believe him and his friends kindapped me omgggg XD)

“Stop it go away” osamu said (hee hee i can never remmber  tell which twin is which LOL i think its osamuuu) “no u have to share” sakusa responded angrily. I starred at them and didn’t know what theyd do next!

I looked over to he side ans see sakura pulling out hand sanitizer passing it around to his teamates. The green orbed boys huff as they put it on. i wished i could see his whole face hes so sedy, look over here pretty girl, i gasp pulled from my thoughts by their captain kita walking into the room with his hands on his hips and was theat aran? “You look even better in peroiusn” aran said to me, walking over to me “how do you know who i am?” i ask.

“listen bbygurl...” he yealls, pulling out a chair to sit acros from me. “you dont get to ask the questions, we are your new masters, and you shall do as we say.” i gulp nervously, my stomach feeling like a sharkndao is happening inside. “we hope u will be worth every penny we payed foru.” 

“M-m-m-masters?” my head felt like it was spinning in a teacup from disney land as i thought about what he just said to me. what did this mean? was i gooing to miss the olympics?? I wanted ot hate him with his super smug look on his face but i cant deny that he looks kind of hot and i’m into guys who look just like him,, the other guys r also relly attractive it makes my heart race. I look around trying to find answers when i make eye contact w a really really reall y tall guy who i thinks name is gao only to see another really really relly tall guy next to him,, hyakuzawa?

“what are yo going to do to me then?” ((*lenny face))

you ask, stomach bubbling. maybe i shoudnt have ateen that stale pizza earlier and washed it down with watermelon-lemon minute maid because now i felt like it was gonna come up. ((ew gross um tw vomit mention hehe)

“Dont worry were going to grab seme din din soon lil one,” one of them says. His name espapes me. Hes a ginger. They wont answer me for some reason and i suddenly miss my freedom when i would go to school (i go to an expesive private school for rich kids ahahah).

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??” i yell again batting my fists against the ginger but he doesnt even blink. Ive decided hes hot but in a short king kinda way. His hair reminded me of of like cheeto coloured fine thread woven into waves.,,, like the ocean xD (ans...this has an ocean theme)

sudenly there was another voice it was yalling “BOKE HINATA BOKER” i looked with my stricking dark blue orbs and there wasd inother pair of stricking dark blueor bs like the ocean and blck hair. his voicde was veryy deelp an sexxcy (a/n lololol i luv u gakeyama kun *w*)

theres suddenly a loud voice in ur ear screaming directly into ur eardrum " BAKA KAGYEAMA BAKA"  (wtf our they communicating ????  ? )    i cringe at the yellign and another pair of strong arms bulls me away . i land against a hard, solid chest, i can feel the six pack thru his track Suit. 

and then my alarm clock playin what makes u beatyful goes off n i woke up. 

amen.

i rub my eyes wakng up, starrn into the mirror at my super borng brwn ugly eyes and brsh my equaly borng brwn hair. i lok up at m wall and see harey stylz and niallr starinf back at me on t walls. i sigh dreamily. they wud twll me my brwn uairs beatufil. 

[pa-panda-heroes]

I love ur blog!! May i please request headcanons for my fav boys Dabi and Tomura. How would they react if their female s/o had a really bad day and is on the edge of tears and isnalmost begging, "please hug me, just hug me" and then starts sobbing?💗 Thank you!

Thank you, sweets!! And you absolutely may!! I had fun with these. Your fav boys are best boys :’)

Dabi and Tomura reacting to their s/o is having really bad day!

Tomura:

The first thing Tomura sees is the look on your face - he just knows something’s wrong and he’s trying to figure out what to do about it.

Next, of course, the thought of “what motherfucker did this” comes across his mind and he’s ready to go on a warpath, ready to decay the one responsible for your poor mood in the slowest, most painful way possible.

But then you approach him with your arms stretched and face scrunched with whatever it is you’re feeling, prompting wide-open eyes from him, and implore him, “please hug me, just hug me.” If your mouth hadn’t said it, your body language most certainly did.

Any desire to go destroy whatever did this to you in Tomura leaves him, and he realizes you need him right now. He can’t leave. Maybe not yet, maybe not at all.

And it’s when he hears your sobs that he breaks and rushes to you to wrap his arms right around you, giving you what you asked for but being careful to keep his pinkies raised. He’ll hold you as close as you can and bury his head in your neck, or let you bury yours in his. His fingers - except his thumbs - will rake back and forth against your back to provide comfort.

He can’t offer comforting words or any words of advice because he doesn’t know what went down. Technically, he doesn’t care. His priority is to calm you down and help you ride through it. Maybe probably he’ll do something about it later.

Tomura will listen if you tell him or vent. He’s a really good listener, I think, much to the surprise of probably many. He won’t interrupt you, no matter how much what you tell him might anger him.

He’ll give you a squeeze every once in a while to let you know he’s still listening even when you’ve been on for fifteen minutes and he hasn’t said anything.

For the rest of the day he’ll try to pamper you if he can, possibly running a hot bath for you, which you can share if you feel up to it. He won’t leave your side unless you’re adamant that he does for whatever reason, because he just wants to make sure you’re okay, and know that he’s there.

Dabi:

Dabi, being Dabi, is going to jump at the chance to tease you about the sour look on your face - “You look like you just lost the love of your life, babe. Last I checked, I’m still here.”

It’s when you brush him off by waving your hand and shaking your head he realizes something’s off. Now he feels like an ass, so he’ll ask quietly what’s wrong.

He’ll even threaten to turn whoever might be responsible into nothing but ashes. He tells you he will set all of Japan aflame if it makes you happy, just as long as he never gets to see that look on your face again.

“Dabi- dont. Please hug me, just hug me,” you tell him, voice cracking and eyes filled with tears. He’ll stop for a second at the desperation laden in your voice, knowing something is really wrong and you need a calm, collected Dabi for a bit.

Dabi will comply quietly, not indicating he’s disappointed you won’t tell him so he can torch the son of a bitch who did this, if there is one. But your sobs hit his eardrums and he really wants someone, anyone, to pay for this. How did this happen to you.

But he also knows leaving you now would be a shit thing to do, with how desperately you’re clinging to him. He wants to be an ass about it and storm out, but he knows he can’t.

So he’ll crack whatever stupid jokes come to mind while you’re just standing there, eneveloped in his arms. He’ll rub your back soothingly and sway a little back in forth if he thinks you’ll find it comforting.

He’ll tell you about his day, or something lighthearted/funny that happened to him just to get your mind off what happened in your day. He’ll offer plenty of cuddles if you so feel like it once you let go.

He’ll be uncharacteristically gentle and even smothering if you let him, because even if he’s a cold-hearted villain, he cares about you. Dabi will easily give you distance if you ask him to, and he’ll stay close if you ask him to do that. But you have to tell him. Otherwise, he won’t know what route to take to help you feel better.

[transhoverfish]

I had this question in my mind for few days now but.. how many AUs have you made up for both Subnautica games?

I'm really curious because I started writing down all the ones that ever came on my mind (I have twelve now) - I wrote them into a Word document and some even have a description

I mean like the medieval, college.. any kind of au

hmmm actually i don't have that many? wait no nevermind. i just counted there's at least 8 counting survivors KABDKABFOHA

ANYWAYS here's a brief rundown of all my aus! once again long post so its under a read more. because by brief i mean at least a paragraph per au because im bad at being brief.

survivors

so this is the au im currently writing for! degasi lives, avery lives, various aurora crew live and they save the planet from the kharra a few times and raise some sea emp babies. big found family and some literal just family. some murder on the side too but that's not important found family only. probably the only one of this list that's ever to be properly written and finished.

melon and the coconut + dreamland

avery/bart centrenic au, partly based on an alteration of survivors where only they live. bart lives in his own fantasy of different outcomes to events, dreaming of something else. avery grows distant and bitter with bart's unwillingness to accept what's happened, and starts to blame him for everything. eventually the two drift apart so much that they barely interact, and avery leaves bart's base to build his own. bart never goes after him, and avery never purposely looks for him again. i got obsessed with glass animals + specifically these two songs so i daydreamed an au up. saddest out of all these i think :(

keen au

its keen sole survivor au babey!! according to 🌟realism🌟 most ppl don't live if they pass out for longer than like an hour (that does not include sitting in a small area w a fire and smoke for 3+ hours) so ryley uhhh Dies. keen doesn't go back to the aurora w/ yu and ends up being the only survivor. bc im a sucker for bart lives that might be a thing, perhaps not, it depends on my mood half way through.

ghost au

main plot of game with only on the crater, but everyone else is a ghost now and haunt ryley. ghosts can see ryley, ryley can see ghosts, ghosts cannot see each other, although they can occasionally hear each other if the people in question were close before they died. mostly just subnautica but ryley befriends dead people.

horror au

survivors but like….. mutations with WAY WORSE consequences and all the effects of the kharra that i forgot about. did you know the kharra causes aggression? because i did not. its mentioned in like 1 log and i totally forgot. living in complete isolation for 10 years and believing everyone you know is dead, and blaming yourself for the future deaths u know are coming? being able to hear a goddamn mile around you at all times while still having mostly the same normal human eardrums? being able to stop yours and others hearts AT ANY TIME WITH NO CONTROL OVER THIS AT ALL?

these powers fuck them up a lot more in this variation. also ocean scary. but mostly mutations and kharra and everything messes up everything for everyone.

paul fucking dies au

everything's the same up until the landslide at the first island base, where the degasi were inside when that giant boulder crashed into it. bart and marg escape but paul dies. whoops! never thought too hard about this one but marg probably makes all decisions, they explore further, maybe meet sea mama?? and stop the aurora + sunbeam from crashing?? hmmmm. but yeah just paul dies faster.

degasi in arctic au

the entire degasi ends up floating out to sector zero and marg is not alone! bart adopts preston. that is literally all i've thought about in this au, the base premise of it and bart adopts a dog.

evil bart au

bart….. but no longer Baby. bart is now Feral and Rabid. kind of a bad title bc hes not like, intentionally evil, but he makes some fucked up decisions and ppl die. basically the very original plot of survivors where bart gets obsessed with finding sea mama and curing the planet that Nothing Will Stop Him. destroys precursor stuff to stop the others from interacting w it and finding out anything, specifically lets micah and beatrix die bc they spoke out about him too much, probably lets danby die instead of helping him, probably partly responsible for paul's death similar to the very first degasi logs. havent thought about it in a long while so i dont remember much about it other than bart was evil. not rlly an au as opposed to a strange character choice for him that i ended up not liking, so prob the only one on here ill def never write out but hey figured id list it anyways

and i think that's all?? all of the ones i could remember or bothered to write down at least lol. got me a big list!!! :o

[randomsevans]

You cant be serious

Ransom Drysdale x reader

#30daysofchris2020 @jtargaryen18

Summary , you and randoms have to get married and either of you want to but ransom want to keep his money and you want to be able to keep your family a float as well as publish your book series . You started as just a general made at the mansion . Harlan took a liking think it was because you were his employer not because he was planning on marrying you of to his grandson.

As you sit there in a closet of room in the Thortons manner , you think this would be the perfect time to run . Run away for this insane idea and leave Ransom at the alter (that's even if he turns up ) . If you though with this you will become y/n Drysdale and become the wife of the asshole , trust fund play boy knows as Ransom Drysdale or Hugh to the help (which you were before you were giving this offer by Harlon ).

This is not how you expect your wedding day to be like you thought it would be months of planning and before that years of saving , all to marry the man of your dreams , a man you love . But no instead it was a shot gun wedding to an asshole you cant stand and you know will no not stick to the vows and promise you are about to make .

You could just run in your white silk knee length dress , that was quickly brought for you hours before .

Run and act as if you were never made this offer , never asked to become a Drysdale. But at the same time you will never get another chance at this. With you doing this you would be able to help out your family and that's you could ever want .

Your plans to make a quick get away way was cut short by the opening of the door to reveal you best friend and also one of your bridesmaids, followed by Meg who would also be your bridesmaid.

" you ready ? " martha entered the in a stunning knee length emerald dress .

"Your not changing your mind are you ?" Meg questioned in a similar dress.

" of course iam ,I just dont get why me ?" You stood up.

Meg come closer to you " I believe that my Grandfather just wants what's best for Ransom and he know like all of our, you have a good heart and if anyone can his bratty behaviour its probably you " her words caught you of graud .

"I'm not going to lie to you and you probably already know it's not easy to be in this family and god knows Ransom is indeed going to be the worst husband in the world , but give him time "

You just nod in response.

" so I'll repeat Martha question are you ready ?"

" for my death sentence ya !" There both giggle and that lightens your mood, maybe it's not glug to be that bad when you have these two to complain to . "Has he even turned up? "

"Yeah he has " martha say just as as surprised as you .

"Y/n , I want you to know that I care about you and apart from gramps I'll probably be the only one ,and I want you to know Ransom I only doing this so he can keep his money , so he probably wont be the most honest , respectful husband, he will probably still be .."

" sleeping around .. I know .. I know,he has his reason why he marrying me and I have mine , it's not how iam imagined it but ..."

" I'll always be here okay , but give him time he might change and if he doesnt well just come to me if he becomes even more of an asshole , okay ?"

" I think ... I think I'm ready?" You said nervously .

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

The music starts play ,and you enter the garden, with Megan and Martha behind you , nobody turns around to face you apart form Harlan who gives you a warm smile with a little nod . You began to walk down the small isle and walk past the rest of the Drysdale and Thortons , you didnt invite your little family , you didnt want them to get judge and see you going to your life long sentence of hell .

As you reach the alter , you notice Ransom in a stunning emerald green suit at complainant's the surrounding you are currently in , his hair slick back as used and a clean shave , he hasn't even looked up once at you.

As Martha and Meg leave your side , you step in front of Ransom with the small flowers placed in your hand . The music finally stops and you let out a breath you didnt know you were holding, as all eyes glare at you and Ransom . Fully knowing nobody wanted to be here . Well maybe Harlan .

Ransom finally looked up at you and his eyes widen as if surprise to see you . He did know he was getting married to you right ? But it wasnt a shocked look, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it , either way you began to blush and the bastard saw it and stared to do that devilish grin he always has on his face . You two stare at each other for what feel like enterity broken by Harlon who has some how manage to get up and looks like he is the one who is going to entitle you and Ransom together .

"We are here today ..." harlon begans

"Yeah .. yeah can we hurry up " Ransom rudely hissed at his Grandfather.

"Random" his mother Linda shouted , he just returned a death glare and a shrug . Wow this man is really something you think .trying to hold back your laughter at this whole situation, maybe if you find the humour in this , you could survive. Megan picks up on you and bust out laughing and you do the same . You know it's not funny but you can help your self . Ransom quickly turns his head to you and now your receiving the death stares. You calm your self down and raise your head high , still a smirk on your face .

"Fine , can we have the rings " Harlon exclaims and soon enough Jacob bring up a pillow with two rings. Ransom picks one up and you do the same. When jacob turns away and automatically whacks his phone out and sits back down . You examine the ring, a simple band but instead of being gold it was much darker or like iron , looked at more morden and probably suited Ransom taste more . Not like he would wear it much , probable end up taking it of at a bar and losing it only fo get a replacement and lose that one .

"I assume you to know what to say " I nod and to my surprise Ransom does it , he probably gonna say some stuiped shit , 'like your my mine now get use to it and you cant tell me what to do and you better keep one eye open when you sleep '

But when Ransom gently lift your hand and looks into your eyes with the softest blue eys the words that leave his months surprised you . "I Hugh Ransom Drysdale take Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n to be my lawfully wedded wife ,for richer , for poor , for sickness and in health till death do us part "

He said remain eye contact with you as if he was saying it as a man who loved you, but no doubt he probably had hes fingers or toes crossed while saying it .

He pushes the ring upon your hand , not looking at it , scared to break the trance you and Ransom are currently in , even tho you feel it's one sided . Onde Harlon clears his throat you began to fiddle with the ring and bring up Ransom hand that is massive compared to your ,towards the ring and stare back at those ocean blue eyes you are too scared to look at knowing theres a risk you will never look away .

You didnt notice until you began to speak that you were shaking. " I Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n take Hugh Ransom Drysdale to be my lawfully wedded husband... for richer " you unknowing pause " for poor , in sickness and in health ... till death do... us ..part" to whisper but enough for even one to hear as your weak little voice shakes.

The blunt clasping begans and sets a steady rhythm that brings pain your eardrums.

"I now pronouns you man and wife " Harlon glance at Ransom " you may ..." oh no you forgot about this part ."kiss the bride "

Oh no .. your heart sinks to your stomach you forget about this part. You glance away from Harlon to to Ransom expecting to see a smug smile on his face but instead he looked calm maybe even a little nervous. He brought his hand to your check ,stepping closure , and brought a hand to your hip sending shock waves through out your body . " may I " he whispered and you nodded . He finally brought his lips to your ,soft and plump. He place one lingering peck , long enough for your to be standing there feeling the earth move as both your eyes are closed . With his soft, lips leaving yours with a pop , you keep your eyes closed until his hands were removed form your hip and check. You final open your eyes to see a smug Ransom and , the butterfly you felt in your stomach moments ago was slowly fading. He reaches for your hand , and you place your small hand in his and intertwine your fingers, that fit perfectly together. You turn to face everyone, while Ransoms bends down and whispers in your ear .

" Your mine now Mrs Drysdale " he said in smug as voice, what he didnt expect was .

"So are you Mr Drysdale ".

[ghoulciifer]

submission:

🐸 anon: “hii congrats on 100 followers🥺can i request a hq matchup with a boy.I’ll be anon 🐸 I go by she/her,5’5,have black straight hair,brown eyes and freckles on my nose.Im skinny,my zodiac sign is saggitarius.I get bored very easily,i love watching anime and movies my favorite genre is horror/gore but sometimes even romance😾.Im funny hehe also im the friend people come to when they need advice or just cheering up,i dont like talking about my own feelings and im not a talkative person. I dislike arrogant and loud people.And if i dont like someone they’ll get the hint lmao but if i do like someone i’ll be all over them taking care of them even tho i dont like pda.I like rock/punk music.I have a resting bitch face and look bored all the time(prolly cuz i am)i get attached to people fast and hate if they choose someone over me.Im anxious and have some sad days where i dont want to leave my bed,also struggle w a lot of insecurities.i have few friends cuz imtooshyandawkward.”

notes: 🐸 anon i’m so happy you decided to be a part of my event!! you sound like an adorable human and i really hope you like who i matched you up with! thank you for your support, and i hope you stick around for a lil’ while ❥

why i matched you:

» i really feel like your personalities would mesh well with each other. Ushijima might seem like a stoic, bored brick wall but he’s got feelings, just like you! underneath both of your uninterested facades is a caring human who wants nothing more than to help those they love most.

» your natural humor is what really draws ushi in the most, he might not laugh outwardly but know he’s grinning like an idiot on the inside (and sometimes the outside). honestly he wouldn’t even have to understand what the joke means, just the way you deliver it is enough to make him chuckle. he’s super oblivious 9 out of 10 times but when he actually does register your joke? you’ve got him hooked.

» ushi is also not a super talkative person, so i feel like you two would have lots of comfortable, relaxing dates in near complete silence. he would understand your shy/awkward nature because he’s also kinda reserved and awkward, which, much like you, it often comes off as intimidating or bored. you guys just get each other, y’know?

» not really into pda? not a problem, neither is wakatoshi. he prefers to keep those special touches and intimate moments between the two of you in private. plus, he doesn’t need to be territorial with you at all, everyone already knows you’re dating and wouldn’t dare do anything to piss ushijima off.

» ushijima would never stray from your relationship after it’s been established, he wouldn’t want to waste his or your time with something as silly as picking someone else over you. he’s a very committed partner and will do everything in his power to help you understand that he’s with YOU! no one else!

» ushijima doesn’t have a whole lot of insecurities, his time developing his skills in volleyball helping him build up enough confidence to keep his head high no matter what life throws at him. however, he knows you might not be as fortunate to have that luxury, but that’s okay! he’s gonna be there for you through every self deprecating thought, every panic attack, every depressive episode, you name it. he might be a little rusty at first but once he figures out what works best for you, he won’t leave your side until you’re smiling and telling him how much you love him.

drabble:

A shrill scream rips through the small living room of your shared apartment with Ushijima, and you instantly curl into his side as the sound rings within your eardrums. The horror movie in front of you wasn’t particularly scary, of course - it was your favorite genre. But the actress who was currently being mutilated on screen was doing a very convincing job at conveying her fear of dying, how could you not shutter in response?

Ushijima feels the hand on his waist grip the fabric of his shirt and looks down to see you tucked even further under his arm, the cutest quirk to your brow as you suck in air through your teeth. He grins at the sight.

“You okay, love?”

Your eyes stay glued to the screen as you gently tilt your head upward, eventually meeting his amused gaze with the same disturbed expression. Your bottom lip juts out into a pout when you catch the amused glint in his eye.

“I’m fine, ‘Toshi, but how the hell are you NOT creeped out? Her insides literally just got ripped out of her!”

You had a point - should anyone see this massive man smiling so softly during such a gory moment of the movie, surely they’d think he was insane. But you didn’t realize you’d captivated his attention and tore him away from the movie he, truthfully, really wasn’t all that phased by. He would much rather watch the way you wiggled under the blanket in your laps and hold on tighter to him, as if the more you clung onto him the safer you felt.

Which, of course, was true.

“You’re… precious, you know that?” The hand draped over your shoulder moves to pull you in closer as he leans over and presses a soft kiss to your temple, effectively bringing a hesitant smile to your lips. The notion was so sweet it melted your heart... but the amount of blood on screen made it hard to enjoy the moment in its full glory. As the heat rushed to your cheeks you rolled your eyes and wrapped your arms around his toned waist, nuzzling into his chest and inhaling his scent.

“Yea, yea… let’s just finish the movie, okay? You can tell me how cute I am later.”

deadline for matchups is (08/29/20)! be sure to submit your entry before this date and check the tag #tumplaysmatchmaker to stay updated!

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Broken Mirrors

Author: Evil_Kingdom

Year: 2010

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Vince/Richmond

Another Night, Another Bar...

Richmond takes a sip from his drink, some fruity dark red coloured drink, hell if he can remember what the name is. He takes a long gulp, shuttering at the after taste of alcohol. He thinks to himself what a weak man he is, far from what others he works with are like. Even Moss is stronger then him, and to everyone that says a lot.

But I thought you liked Moss?....

I do.

But you know he doesnt like you right?....

I know. No one likes me.

Oh dont be so hard on yourself Richie...

Shut up inner thought. Im tired of you being the only one to talk to.

He shakes his head, believing that maybe going out for a bit of air will be the solution to his problem. He gulped down the rest of his drink, places it carefully on the table, looks a round the room to see people giving him odd and funny looks

See? Maybe if you only dressed like them... maybe the would actually like you...

Not you too inner evil thought. Shut up

Richmond gives his head a big shake, then flattens out his long dark hair back into place. He then takes the steps through the crowd of people dancing irratically to the DJ with the toys up in the booth. He thinks to himself that maybe it was a bad day to come to the bar, a day when there is just too many people around. Not that he really minds that there are people around, it just isnt his type of people, so it makes for more awkward moments.

He instantly feels the cold air wrap around him as he pushes open the door. He cracks a small smile, feeling the comfort of a familiar friend

Hello Wind, nice to feel you again

He leans against the cold wall, closing his eyes for a brief moment, trying to collect all his thoughts and feelings.

Maybe I should just go home... Its not like im going to find anyone tonight.

Maybe you will never find anyone....

I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.

He lets out an exasperated cry, slamming his fits beside him into the wall. Tears start to gather in his eyes as he opens them, looking up into the shine of the moon,

It will be ok Richie, it will all work out soon....

Thanks moon, I can always count on you.

Im the Mooonnn....

Looking out onto the darkness of the streets, he sees gaggles of people, all sorts of people, dancing and being happy, drunk and laughing.

Why cant I be like them? Why cant I have some friends?

Richmond sighs again, standing up a bit straighter, rubbing the scratches on his hands.

No need to be sad anymore. Im better then this, I can get through this.

Being depressed just makes you a stereotypical goth Richie...

Thats right inner thought. And I'm not one to be stereotypical.

Pushing off from the wall, brushing his hands softly over his dark red velvet jacket, he gives himself a smile. Tomorrow will be a better night, tomorrow he will find someone to talk to.

Tomorrow tomorrow...

Richmond stares at himself in the mirror, checking every pore on his skin.

Perfect whiteness. Though I could lay off the sun a bit more, then it would be more perfect.

You know its fashionable to have a tan now a days Richie...

I know. But thats not who I am, I am a confident attractive young man.

Just keep telling yourself that....

Shut up inner evil thought. You cannot ruin my mood today. I am going to go out a meet someone. Just you watch me.

Giving himself a big smile, flashing his clean and white teeth, he applies the final stages of his eye makeup, adding a touch of black glitter to the corners of his eyes making his blue eyes sparkle.

Moving to the closet double doors he looks into rows of reds, deep purples and blues, hints of green, and rows upon rows of black. But at the very end, far back in the walk in closet, you can see a hint of his past, 3 normal suits still hang from bar, still unable to give away the last of the past.

He holds onto them thinking one day, one day, he may actually have the want to try them on, try on what he used to be, what it was like to be the cool guy, the guy with talent, friends, and a job that doesn't include staring at flashing buttons in the basement.

As he grabs his favourite creepers, a pair of black spiderweb socks, and a deep purple button up jacket, he sits on his bed and begins to hum a Cure song, one that he cant seem to get out of his head...

Oh please don't ask me who i am

Or when and where my life began

Or why i ended up like this or how

Standing up he brushes himself off and walks out into his hallway, out the front door, and on to the streets. Walking at a slow pace he watches the moon that sits high up into the night sky, surrounded by little stars, faint to see in the brightness of the cities lights. Continuing down the street, turning left, then making a right, he finds himself smack dab in the middle of bar and nightclub alley.

Now which one shall I pray upon tonight... hmmm decisions, decisions.

You make it sound as if you will have people just throwing themselves at you when you enter the doorway, you do know you will probably drink yourself stupid and wander home, just like every weekend.

Shut up inner evil thought. I told you. Tonight is my night. Tonight I will come home victorious. Gotta be confident, show them that Im a great person.

Richmond smiles to himself, confidence beaming through him like a flaming dagger sword from his heart.

And then he sees him.

The perfect figure of a man.

Gleaming black hair, shiny with product, perfect shape and placement

But not a goth.

Richmond gives a questionable look, heart beating faster in his chest.

Well he is a he...right?

That doesn't change anything, Im quite happy with any sexual preference. Not to say i'm not picky, but love is love you know, it doesn't have a gender.

For the first time in his life, his heart beats fast, quickens his pace, and jogs up to the club, slipping through the door, staring at the slight in front of him

Lights gleam from the ceiling, flooding the crowd with different colours, music loudly playing, but not loud enough to destroy eardrums. Not a bad selection of music, thankfully, Richmond hoping that there wouldnt be an idiot DJ tonight. He searches the club trying to find the man with the perfect hair... Bingo. Right next to the bar, sitting alone.

Here's my chance. Don't fuck it up.

He takes a deep breath, straightens out his clothes, fixes his hair, and makes a casual walk towards the bar.

“One cherry vodka sour please.”

He leans on the bar, trying to be casual and confident, thinking to himself that it probably doesn't look the case, but as long as he doesn't look ridiculous, its all that matters.

Well there he is Richie... go for it..

I will I will. Don't pressure me. You know what happens when I get pressured.

You get all clammy and your voice goes all squeaky and then people stare and laugh at you....

Thanks for the reminder asshole.

Richmond turns and glances towards the man. He makes eye contact, seeing full well the man beside him is staring. His face goes pink, but he can't look away...

“Can I help you? Are you starin' at me for a reason?” The dark haired man tilts his head

“Uhh... ummm... no, I was just looking over, sorry to bother you. I don't mean to make any trouble..”

Youre pathetic Richie. What happened to your confidence?...

“I don't mean to be mean, you don't have to get all defensive.” The man gives a small laugh,

“My name is Vince, Vince Noir, you probably heard about me, I am the king of Camden Town”

The man, Vince, flashes one of the most gorgeous smiles he's ever seen, his confidence clears.

“Umm no, sorry, I haven't heard about you...”

But I would love to..

Richie go for it. Give him something else to smile about....

“My name is Richmond, and I would love to find out why everyone knows you”

Richmond tries to give himself a confidence boost, giving a small cheeky smile, turning back to pay the bartender and grab his drink.

“Would you like a drink? My treat?” Richmond glances over Vince, seeing that he chooses the glam rock style, not something he is used to, but man does he make it look hot. He slowly gives him a once over, looking at his tight shiny shirt, trailing down to his black tight pants...

His eyes linger on his bulge, his perfectly pressed bulge against his pants, perfect...

“Oi mate, eyes up here, k love?” Vince flashes a coy smile, giving a small chuckle

He snaps out of his daze, face going red

“Im sorry, I didnt mean to, I mean I wasnt..”

if your face could get any redder, you would be a tomato.

“I'll take you up on your drink offer, a flirtini please, extra sour” Vince motions for him to take a seat beside him, giving him a cheeky grin.

He returns with drinks, placing his preferred drink in front of him, sliding into the booth beside him.

Now what are you going to do Richie? You cant just get him wasted you know

I know that... Im working on it.

“You alright mate? You arent the drug type are you?” Vince tilts his head towards Richmond, catching his eye, “You look a bit spaced out. I hope im not boring you or nothin”

“Oh no, no... no problem. Im just not used to someone being nice to me, usually I get brushed off quick and that is that” Richmond tries to smile it off, like its nothing.

Vince grins, his hand slowly creeping up Richmond's leg, stopping to grab his thigh. “Good. A pretty boy like you wanted to know about me, so heres how it starts”

Popping the cherry from his drink into his mouth he leans over, hand trailing down Richmond's thigh. His mouth getting ever so close, Richmond feeling his alcoholic breath push against his face, heart racing a mile a minute.

This is it. He is actually into me

Richmond leans forward, opening his mouth, tongue flicking forward hitting the cherry stem, before closing the gap with his lips..

Tonight be all i dream

There isn't any yesterday

Tomorrow starts a day away

This here and now with you is how

Always should always be

This

Here and now

With you

[worldofjuju-blog]

The Big D. Yes, Depression.

1175. That’s the number of Monday’s I’ve lived through. You’d think as humans trapped in the repetitive cycle of the same 7 days for all of eternity we’d be used to them by now, but in all honesty they never seem to get any easier. You know that typical ~Monday~ feeling of a grey cloud looming over your head, that rain-on-your-parade-don’t-want-to-leave-the-house kind of feeling? 

‘Yeah Juju... We all experience Monday’s’ I hear you scoff. 

But what if that grey cloud wasn’t just a grey cloud? What if it was a storm blasting thunder into your eardrums, beating your brain until its fuzzy and numb, striking your body with lightening and rain until it is broken and weak. What if the wind rippled over every inch of your skin, cackling at your misery ‘You think you can escape? Ha! Think again!’ What if that feeling lasted not just Monday, but your entire week, every week, until every week blurs into one big grey mess and you can barely remember what day it is and why would it even matter anyway? Each day brings the same rain, the same thunder, the same misery.

You watch others playing and laughing in the sunshine and long for that feeling of warmth and happiness, you copy their smiles trying to fool everyone into thinking you were also blessed with the light but inside you are cold and dark and sad and the light feels like its a million miles out of reach. You smile until you simply cant and all you can do is lie there whilst your brain turns black and infected and rotten.

I have lived in the heart of the storm and I’m definitely not in the clearing yet, but I am learning that the light is not as far away as it once seemed.

That’s why my first ~serious~ post is about The Big D. Yes, Depression.

Depression is described by the Mental Health Foundation as ‘a mental illness that causes people to experience depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration.’ This mental illness is something that affects my life and a huge number of my fellow Earthlings. It is in fact the most predominant mental health problem worldwide.

Now, I’m definitely not an expert - that’s why I’m not writing some la-di-da ‘cure yourself with vitamins and yoga’ kind of post. I’m purely expressing what The Big D means to me and attempting to educate others around me so they can understand the illness better. Below is a few (maybe helpful) tips for people struggling and those looking to support their depressed loved ones. *I cant speak for everyone with depression because everyone has different experiences, but this is the world of Juju so if these relate to you, cool! If not, also cool!*

DONT

- Act as if someone with depression is overreacting. ‘Cheer up’, 'just be more positive’, ‘smile love’, 'you don’t even have it that bad!’ Let me repeat this for the people in the back - depression is a mental disorder caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Lower-than-normal levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin can cause depression and, unlike Trump, neurotransmitters don’t discriminate against race, gender or economic wealth. Therefore, depression can happen to ANYONE.

- Call them ‘lazy’. Someone with depression may sleep a lot or get extremely tired from everyday tasks. In my worst days even getting out of bed seemed like climbing Everest and my arms felt simply too weak to even brush my teeth. There is scientific evidence that depression negatively affects psychomotor skills and can cause a lack of coordination, slowed speech, decreased movement, and impaired cognitive function. Thus, let sleeping lions be.

DO

- Understand that the mind and body are connected. ‘The brain, nervous system, immune systems, all the organs of our body and all the emotional responses we have, share a common chemical language and are constantly communicating with one another.’ Dr. James Gordon (founder of the Center for Mind-Body Medicine). This means people with depression are more likely to get sick, redefining that well known patronising phrase ‘it’s all in your head’. This connection does however, highlight the importance of looking after your body’s health which in turn can help your brain on the road to health too.

- Be patient! Praise yourself for going to that first therapy session, but recognise that this needs to be maintained in order to see progress. Mental illness is something to be managed, not necessarily cured. Of course cure would be fantastic but this is not realistic for everyone. A realistic goal is to learn to live with your illness one day at a time. Find the right medication and coping strategies that work for you. Who knows, one day you might not need them.

Hopefully you found this interesting and even a little bit informative. If you are currently in a storm, remember that the light is just behind the clouds. Reach out to someone you love and be kind to yourself.

[wonderlustlucas]

eggs - lee taeyong

⇢ prompt Breakfast does not go to the stomach, it goes to the heart. ⇢ pairing taeyong x female reader ⇢ word count 3.1k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none unless fluff gives u whiplash :D ⇢ summary “Taeyong fluff. basically like they aren’t a couple yet but they know they both like each other so they’re all cutesy and shit :) plot doesn’t really matter tbh as long as it’s some cute ass fluff”—request ⇢ a/n take this fluffy shit and shove it up ur ass for optimum benefit

“Noona, will you please make us breakfast?” You are one hundred percent going to kill him.

“Ten, call me that again and the only thing I will cook is your arms and legs. I just bought cereal and milk, so leave me alone,” you groan like a branch under the weight of snow, rolling away from the brightness of the sun filtering through the window and swinging a leg out from beneath the covers to dangle off the bed. “No, you finished the cereal Thursday and never told me to pick up more, plus there’s no milk left,” Ten retorts, voice muffled behind the white door and at the sound of his—your—friends laughing, you feel like screaming. “Then go out and buy some more!”

“___, there’s like fifty eggs in the fridge, plus it’s past twelve and loverboy is starving, don’t you want to cook for T—“

“Okay, shut up!” You shout, accepting defeat rather than embarrassment and whipping the blankets away with an annoyed sigh. Picking a crumpled tee shirt from the floor, you pull it over your head with a certain irritation and make way for the door, swinging it open and glaring coldly at the grinning boy despite the heat growing on your cheeks like sunburn. “I hope you rot in Hell,” you hiss, jabbing a finger into his chest and stomping past him.

In a weak attempt to move past your guests as quietly as possible, you direct your attention to the floor and scurry through the living room quiet as a mouse, embarrassingly aware of loverboy’s—as Ten called him—presence. “Morning, ___.”

Caught. “Good morning,” you sigh, finally averting your gaze to look at the trio and offering a feeble wave. Maybe if you just pretend that he isn’t here, you can survive the day. However, as soon as your eyes land on Lee Taeyong and all his glory, hot rosiness is already burning its way up your neck quicker than before and settling on the apples of your cheeks. Curse you, you want to say, mouth sour and stare fixated on the brunette for a heartbeat too long until he smiles and you embarrassingly hurry on to the kitchen.

If it’s not for the incessant growling of your stomach, you truly contemplate opening the refrigerator door just to slam it back on your head; however, even though you would never admit it, cooking breakfast for Taeyong remains to be your first and foremost priority on this lovely afternoon. And so, no matter how much you don’t want to, you smack a cast-iron pan loudly on the stove and twist on the gas, pausing to count with your fingers how many eggs you’ll need before eventually just grabbing the whole carton.

You see, developing a crush on one of Ten’s friends was never part of the plan. To be entirely honest, you had laid in bed the night Ten first moved in, tucked delightfully in your duvets wondering how in the name of God you were going to survive just a week without falling for him. However, as time went on, Ten’s fiery attitude and the fact that it seemed as if his friend Johnny was the one who in fact moved in based on the amount of time he spent in your shared apartment made it quite painless to get over the brief obsession in your newest flatmate.

And while Ten does have a mentality spicier than sriracha, you could not find it in yourself to complain when he brought not one but three friends over two months into moving in. By that time, you were fairly close to Johnny, considering he was knocking on the door almost every day (at this point, you had already settled on the idea that the two were one hundred and fifty percent dating, although you would never ask), but had zero ideas that Ten even had other friends, let alone met them.

And to be quite frank, you did not expect another two attractive men to enter your life. Jung Jaehyun, quite possibly the most angelic human you have ever met and Lee Taeyong, the greatest threat to your existence.

Perhaps you would not have fallen so quickly if it was not for the fact Ten was adamant on having the three over every fucking day. The first time you met was a terrifying case of embarrassment; you had been sleeping in when you woke to quite possibly the loudest noise to ever enter your eardrums. And so, with speed faster than light, you fled from bed with nothing but measly undergarments to see what sort of Satanic ritual Ten was pulling, only to find two strangers grimacing at an enormous box now flat on the floor.

It was painfully awkward, from the moment they noticed your ghastly presence in the doorway, to the realization they just dropped the new television Ten just bought, and finally to the fact you were practically naked in front of them. Without even a glance to their faces and with a noise akin to a frightened mouse caught in a trap you spun back behind the door, slammed it closed, and dove back into bed, shivering under the covers and planning your plan of survival that included never leaving the one hundred and twenty-seven square feet of your bedroom.

However, five hours later your stomach had a mind of its own.

6:07 PM - To Ten: i will literally do absolutely anything u want ever in ur life if u bring me cereal

6:07 PM - From Ten: No shot

6:07 PM - To Ten: oh my god ten please

6:08 PM - From Ten: I think my friends need an apology for seeing ur titties this morning🤧

6:08 PM - To Ten: please dont do this to me im so hungry i will literally do anything

6:08 PM - From Ten: Bj?

6:08 PM - To Ten: yes an infinite everyday

6:08 PM - From Ten: hmmmm

6:09 PM - From Ten: nah

6:09 PM - From Ten: come get food urself

With an infuriated, muffled scream into the downy pillow, you hurl your phone to the mattress before leaning up and mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of teasing from your sinister flatmate. Sighing obnoxiously as you exit your bedroom for the first time in almost twenty-four hours, absolutely nothing in the entire fucking universe could have prepared you enough for the unquestionably perfectly crafted specimen of Lee Taeyong.

Upon first glance, you barely noticed his figure hidden in the corner of the room, simply a monochrome silhouette concealed in the darkness. It was not until the hues flashing from the television lit up the dark space with brightly colored shades from a commercial did he come into view, seated on the farthest side of the sofa. He was like a single brilliant star on a sky of perfect midnight velvet, a star whose gravity stole the air from your lungs and left you breathless in the doorway upon first glance.

He was by far the most alluring human you have ever seen.

“Hey ___!” Ten suddenly shouted, cutting your train—or lack thereof—of thought into shreds and replacing it with your previous hatred. “Die,” was all you said, earning a chuckle from someone, although you could not seem to care to find out who and instead continued for the kitchen.

“How’s your day been?” He continued, yelling from the other room and you contemplated whacking the side of his head with a cast-iron pan. “Don’t talk to me,” you shouted back while rummaging through the refrigerator, only to pull out a container of half empty white rice left over two days prior and a gallon of Breyers Extra Creamy Vanilla from the freezer.

“Are you grumpy because of what happened this morning?” He singsongs, followed by just leave her alone from an unknown voice as you grab two spoons and slam the drawer close. He was truly pushing your buttons. Ice cream, rice, and spoons in hand you made way for the living room, paused midway, and mercilessly pegged one of the metal spoons at Ten.

It unexpectedly hit him square in the forehead, creating a chorus of oohs from the others and you beamed. “Don’t forget who owns this apartment, Chittaphon,” you sneered, gracing his friends with a beaming smile before spinning on your heels and marching back into your bedroom.

Needless to say, Ten found it in himself to never tread that deep into your patience again and even apologized the next morning. However, the image stuck in your brain of whoever sat in the corner of the living room could not go without questioning.

“Hey, who was over last night, by the way?” You asked as Ten took a seat on the couch beside you, flicking between different television channels. “Taeyong and Jaehyun.”

“Which one had the pink hair?”

Ten huffed, throwing in the towel when it came to choosing an adequate channel, “Taeyong, why?”

You shrugged, “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not dumb, c’mon. You think he’s cute?” More than cute.

“I only saw him for like, a millisecond,” you sniffed, waving him off and returning to your assignment. “Good news. They’re coming over again tonight!”

You groaned, throwing your head back onto the plush cushion and kneading your eyes with your knuckles. “I didn’t pick up enough groceries to feed a whole soccer team,” you sighed, lolling your head over to blink at him. “We have eggs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Tae will help you.”

And only after a proper introduction when Johnny, Jaehyun, and Taeyong arrived an hour later, you found yourself in the talons of a trap designed to drag you down into the depths of drool-worthy dreams and endless nights of “being in your bag.”

When it came time to cook a meal for the new clan you found ravaging your apartment, it took no less than half a minute for the cotton candy haired art-major (something you found out about him during some unacceptably adorable small talk) to jump up from his spot on the loveseat to aid you in any way possible.

“You like cooking?” He asked as you passed him another egg to be whisked, and you laughed heartily. “No, I just have to so I don’t blow all my money on takeout,” you explained, shrugged, and then followed with, “well, I don’t know. If I had time to cook out of enjoyment rather than survival, I would probably like it.”

“You should, it can be really relaxing,” he said, voice luxurious velvet as he poured the whisked eggs into the hot pan. “I don’t really know any recipes,” you shrugged, watching with quiet admiration as he went through what minimal spices you had while simultaneously folding the eggs into what would eventually be an omelet.

“Oh! I’ll have to show some you one day, then,” Taeyong grinned, and no matter how hard you tried you could not fight the rosy blush warming your features.

It was at this moment you realized you were royally fucked. There was absolutely no way of getting out of this one, you told yourself, and it was a constant reminder nearly every day when him, Johnny, and Jaehyun made their entrance. It was especially obvious on days he came over after class, the top few buttons of his shirt undone and revealing an inch too much skin that made your insides crawl, or the alone time you shared when he would help you in the kitchen, when one day over the course of three months you realized it had gone from two strangers forced to feed a group of helpless college kids to a pair naturally creating meals together, including a handful too many hip bumps, tickles, and any other type of physical touching to be categorized as just friends.

“No way,” you blew Ten off one morning when he asked if you thought you would ever date Taeyong, “he doesn’t like me like that.”

When all he did was roll his eyes, some part of you truly did drop with disappointment. For if he had said, “You should hear how he talks about you,” or, “You really are a dumb bitch,” then maybe you would have had some hope. But his lack of response confirmed your thoughts: Taeyong was an unattainable love.

Four months later, you and your now crimson haired friend dragged an absolutely wasted beyond repair Ten into his bedroom, flung him onto his mattress, removed his shoes, and patted him a good night.

“Sorry you had to deal with him,” you frowned, making way for the tiny kitchen and offering him a water in which he graciously took. Lord knows, if you had known he was coming, you would have been more prepared. And yet there you were, in nothing but an oversized tee shirt in front of the man who held all the stars in his irises and the very being of you in his hands.

“Don’t worry about it,” Taeyong smiled, clicked his tongue after taking a sip of water, “either way, I got to see my gi—you.”

Realizing his miniscule slip-up, Taeyong’s eyes grew the size of saucers, as did yours. My girl? Was that what he was going to say? You gulped, windpipe suddenly dryer than any desert on Earth, heart bumping frantically in your chest because holy shit, were you to blow it off or act on it?

Taeyong cleared his throat, and you did the same, an awkward tension suddenly filling the room thick like syrup and you were suffocating. “Anyway, I’m gonna head home. G’night, ___,” said Taeyong, offering a weak pat to your cheek. You watched him in silence as he left, and as soon as the door shut behind him the world came crashing down, the walls suddenly seemed to shrink and you hopped off the barstool in order to save yourself and sped to your bedroom in a rush of excitement and undeniable shock.

Only two days later you saw him again, a mini celebration in your apartment for the end of the semester with a bit too much soju involved. You found yourself curled into his side as the antics settled down further into the night, however alcohol still had your nerves on fire and you were hyperaware of Taeyong’s hand on what was exposed of your waist where your shirt had ridden up, long fingers drawing random patterns onto the bare skin and you could not breathe.

“___,” he said, you turned from the loud Raymour & Flanigan commercial blaring from the television to look at him, eyes wide and honest and his heart lurched. He suddenly could not find it in himself anymore to ask if he could stay the night and instead languidly studied your pretty features, face hovering closely above your own so you could feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks and he did not know what to do.

“Taeyong!”

Ten shouted and the two of you jerked back, the serene moment suddenly popped like a bubble and you wanted to scream at him for ruining the possibilities.

The exchange between Taeyong and Ten turned to nothing but marbles in your ears, the idea of kissing him much too loud and growing from a small mustard seed hidden within your brain to an enormous tree. Except now it was in bold font and flashing every color known to man because there was no way he was actually going to kiss you, right?

Fast forward nearly a month later and here you were, found in yet another treacherous predicament as the man of your dreams sat only feet away. The past twenty-seven days were the worst of your life, you tell yourself; for every time you close your eyes, all you can picture is all the diminutive moments shared with Taeyong since your almost-kiss, every insignificant touch, every drawn-out ogling, every unnecessary compliment that only increasing became worse because Ten told him that you liked him. And instead of bringing it up, too fearful to do so even though you are convinced he must like you back, you push it away, avoiding any possible interaction that will lead to your potential collapse.

And so, when a, “Hey, do you want any help?” erupts from just around the wall, you nearly drop an egg when every muscle in your body freezes because yes he’s here but no get away. “Um,” you sniff, glancing down at the dozen eggs and then back to the boy sporting hair the shade of oozy caramel, “sure.”

You go on in silence, continuously passing Taeyong an egg to be cracked and then throwing out the shells, and you are telling yourself oh, this isn’t too bad until he decides to break the relative silence, “I like you.” You blink, squint at the wall before moving around him to wash yoke from your hands, hearing the words from those damn kissable lips makes your legs burn and heart thump at a rate that definitely is not healthy. “I know,” you finally answer, voice clogged in the back of your throat so you continue, “I like you too.”

“I know,” says Taeyong once you look up at him and he bestows upon you a toothy grin.

“I’m glad that’s settled, then,” you laugh breathlessly, leaning into his side as he scrambles the eggs, cheek pressed against his bicep, “you’re bulking up, I like it.” Taeyong drops his head to look down and you glance up with a smile that cannot seem to leave your face. “Jaehyun said the same thing,” he grins, pulling his arm away so that you must pull away but, just as your lips start to pout, he pulls your body close and wraps his arms around your waist.

In a sudden surge of courage, you raise your hand to trail a finger down the razor-sharp edge of his jawline, something you have dreamed of doing for months and now that you are finally able to, you do not know whether you will ever be able to stop. “Wow,” you almost say, breathlessly infatuated by his presence, however, the sudden pressure of his lips upon yours steals your breath furthermore and suddenly everything is all him and you pull yourself closer, air hitching in your lungs, nerves fizzing with sparks, melding your mouth against his own as the anticipation of kissing him over the past months has reached its boiling point.

“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” Taeyong asks once you have pulled away, lips swollen red. “That’s the general plan, yes,” you laugh softly, planting a milder peck on the side of his mouth.

.

.

.

“Does anyone smell burning eggs?”

[bakughoes]

Yukine?

yes my sword son 

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them 

he is a such good boy like man do i love this child he just wants to make his sweaty dad proud and keep him safe and yatos making his job UNNECESSARILY HARD 

least favorite thing about them 

at the very start it was his attitude i totally get why anime onlys didn't like him after 8 eps of being a brat like why you do my boy like that bones right now tho he being a little to much of a good boy Spoilers for the manga son why are you trusting Nora she has done nothing but try to kill you honey no nooo

favorite line 

its not canon but the whole scene of yukine finishing the picture book to help hiyori with her memories and hes like and thats how we all became friends  makes me cry to this day also whenever he talks about protecting yato sniffs you go boy protect your dad 

brOTP 

the main trio of course and bishas shiki who name i forget because im terrible and haven't watched that arc in like 30 years if shes not evil i will consider nora the idea of them teasing yato is to good to pass up 

OTP 

does yukine and happiness count 

nOTP yato x yukine stop shipping the child with his father/brother figure I BEG  also nora x yukine like lets wait till after she gets a redemption arc please 

random headcanon 

he wants yato to teach him how to draw hes just to shy to ask after all he’ll never hear the end of it once he does 

unpopular opinion 

huh surprisingly i got nothing for this one 

song i associate with them 

conversation heart i think is what its called from the ost the song that plays at the end ep 8 after the punishment scene where everyone just bawling like most people think of it as yatori theme but the sound of yukine apologizing is burned into my eardrums damn kaji and his godlike voice acting  

favorite picture of them

not a fav just some csps i had on my laptop but

 LOOK AT HIS BOY

AN ABSOLUTE TREASURE 

WE DONT DESERVE HIM

[a-court-of-daydreamers]

Don’t Give Up (ACOTAR AU): Chapter 1

Acotar AU Fic based in highschool. Probably will be multi-POV to make it more interesting.

SUmmary: With Uni approaching quickly, the final year is upon us. And of course this does not come without drama, romances and lots and lots of alcohol. 

Let me know what you think, this is my first Fanfic :)

* I am from England so this is set in the English schools, during A-levels which is the next step up before we go to university/college, so this is 17-18. If any terms come up that I might need to explain, I doubt this will occur but still, I will explain them.

“Feyre, you don’t look too good, are you ok?” Andromache’s eyes are wide with worry. Her hazel eyes pass over my skin, and I shy against her gaze.

“Yeah I’m ok, just feeling a little queazy” I scrape my hair into a ponytail and scan the cafeteria. The noise is bubbling through me, pounding my eardrums, I turn to my friend.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yeah of course I did, I was just looking for someone.” I push my fork through the now cold beans and soggy chips on my plate.

“Looking for Tamlin you mean?” She snorts and looks to that certain person she always looks for.

“You should just talk to her you know, she won’t bite” I discard my fork and push my plate away in resignation. The food is barely edible hot, let alone when it’s cold.

“But she's so amazing and I’m me. She wouldn't want to talk to me and besides that is basically friendship goals look at them. Mor is beautiful and talented and head girl, her cousin, Rhysand, is tall dark and handsome, the definition of a heartthrob. He is also annoyingly smart and accompanies his cousin as head boy. Then you have by far the most muscular human beings I have ever seen, Azriel and Cassian. And finally the cherry on the dream team cake, you have Amren. Who can single handedly scare anyone in this town and send them sprinting in any direction but hers. It’s something about her eyes I think. So in response in to your question Feyre, my dear friend, they are the most intimidating group ever.” Andromache sighs and takes a bite out of her apple, I smile as the juice runs down her chin.

“Come on now Andromache, do you have no manners? Here have napkin” A deep voice rumbles from behind me. My friend goes bright red and quickly wipes the juice off of her chin. I turn round to defend her, the words rising up my throat are caught and pushed right back down. Tamlin is smirking, obviously enjoying my friends discomfort. I elbow him in the stomach.

“Tam was that necessary?” My tone is clipped as I turn back to the table. Andromache’s eyes are fixed on the table, I reach across the table and squeeze her hand. An irritated huff behind me reminds me of the presence of my boyfriend. I continue to ignore.

“Andy, you do have manners, don't listen to the insufferable arsehole behind me.” Andromache’s eyes sparkle as they find mine but find the table extremely interesting as a large hand grips my shoulder.

“Can we talk in private for a minute babe” His tone is curt. He is mad, I just embarrassed him in front of my friend. I stand and his hand tightens its grip, like he thinks I’ll make a run for it. Cute. I throw a sympathetic glance over my shoulder to Andy who is left at the table on her own.

Tamlin shuts the door to a desolate classroom. He pushes me against the wall. Hard. My head hits the wall with a dull thud. “Feyre. I don’t like your attitude. I didn't even say anything mean, have you taken something today to make you act like a complete bitch?” He growls out the words and shoves me against the wall again.

“I..I am sorry Tam, I shouldn't have said what I said.” I look at my feet as Tamlin’s hands press bruising marks into my forearms.

“That’s what I thought, you're coming to mine tonight, I’ll pick you up at five" He presses a rough kiss to my lips before storming out the classroom. I grasp the table and hold myself up while my legs are shaking. Blood bangs against my head and it takes everything I have to remain conscious. Breathing in deeply I walk out of the classroom, doing everything I can to convince myself Tamlin loves me and that he acted rationally because I was the one that angered him. But there is always that little nagging voice.

“Feyre! Where have you been! You weren't in chemistry or German. What happened?” Andromache jogs to catch up to me, her hair is falling out of her go to sleek ponytail and she looks quite frazzled.

“I.. I dont know, I just lost track of time I guess” I pull my jumper sleeves down, hiding the purple marks adorning my arms.

“Oh don’t mess with me, you never miss lessons. I covered for you by the way” Andy looks at me intensely, her soft eyes again hold worry. I look away and stop at the gate to my house.

“We can’t study tonight, I’m seeing Tam” My house looms over me and I can see Nesta’s face look through the curtains before disappearing into the kitchen. I turn to my best friend. Her slender face is painted with disappointment.

“Yeah ok, I was hoping we could go see a movie instead but don't worry about it, I’ll text you later Fey” She quickly turns and walks across the street to her own house. I wait until she has shut the door before entering my own.

“Hi Nesta, Hi Elain” I shout to the sisters who won't reply. I get a stiff grunt from Nesta who is shut in Elains room. Typical. The dynamic between the three of us has never been the same since mom died. Our dad works all the time so we rarely see him and he has his own city apartment to avoid the commute to work, just when groceries get delivered every week we know he hasn't forgotten us, but he doesn't even do that, all he does is pay for it, I place the order. Thanks Dad.

I flop down onto my bed which is adorned with stars, a deep midnight blue fabric holds the night stars on my bed. The mattress groans with my weight as I flick off my converse. I would like to say today has been different but it really hasn’t. The seconds tick by with a deafening thud as they make their way round my clock hung on my wall. One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds. As I stare at my ceiling, I listen. Just listen to the noises in our house. Nesta grumbling, Elain giggling. And my clock ticking. The doorbell cuts through the rhythmic silence. The door opens.

“FEYRE. TAMLIN IS HERE!” Nesta shouts to me as she walks up the stairs to her destination of Elains room. So much for sisterly confrontation. I force myself up and out of bed before slipping my feet into my worn converse. Tamlin is waiting. Must not keep him waiting. He is leaning against the doorframe looking at a childhood picture of myself and my sisters. He looks like the old Tamlin, that I loved. The carefree and beautiful boy, who would shower me with kisses, not bruises. The boy that would tell me I’m beautiful and perfect, not fat and I should go on a diet. The boy that I was in love with, not the boy I was scared of. Memories are painful. And no matter how hard I tell myself he is still in there, I never believe it. That Tamlin is gone. And I mourn him. I stand on the bottom step just watching him, savouring those few precious moments.And watch to boy disappear when he opens his mouth.

“Lets go” His voice is rough, like sandpaper as he turns and walks out of my door and gets in his car. I follow in a wordless walk and let the soft leather engulf me as I sit in his car.

He remains a deathly quiet for the whole ride, no matter the silence breaker question I ask, the response is a grunt. I give up on conversation as we pull up on his drive. No cars. We will be alone. My heart fights against my chest, wanting to break free and relieve me of my misery. I can feel his anger pooling off of him is scalding waves. He opens his front door for me before slamming it behind himself. I flinch and await the inevitable.

“Feyre, you really are a bitch sometimes. Like what in the world was lunch about. I told you, that you were not allowed to sit in there. Let alone with her.” His back is turned and the muscles taught.

“Andromache is my friend Tam, and I didn't have lunch today” Words barely escape my lips in a foreign voice. He turns to me. Looks me up and down. And laughs.

“I don’t think you really need lunch, look at you. Come on Fey, the star player on the football team can’t be seen with some fat ugly lump of a girl. You have to be joking me” Laughter leaves his mouth in rich patronising jolts. He stalks towards me and pin me up against the wall, both arms either side of my shoulders. I don't think I'm breathing as he starts to unbuckle my belt.

“No Tam, I don't want to” I push his hand away from my belt buckle.

“Do you think I give a shit about what you want? You're my girlfriend and I will tell you what to do” He grabs hold of my wrist and twists it. Hard. I whimper. Cold and vicious eyes capture mine. His hand connects with my cheekbone with a terrifying force, it throws my head to the side. He resume on my belt and forces rough unkind kisses up my neck. Closing my eyes, I wish I was at the movies with Andy or anywhere but here. Tamlin pushes my jeans down along with my underwear. Faintly I hear the sound of him unzipping his own jeans, Tears roll down my face scalding my skin, the atmosphere around me becomes thick and choking and the sounds dissipate into nothing. I feel nothing, I am nothing, I feel disgusting. Tamlin pounds inside me with excruciating force before finding his release and resting his forehead on my shoulder. He zips himself up before doing the same for me.

“Say something feyre” Hel ooks at me with uninterested eyes, the statement catches me off guard, so off guard I find words leaving my mouth before I can stop them. I watch his face twist into white hot rage and as his fist connects with my face.

“Fine I was about done with you anyway you little whore. If you don't want to be with me, find someone better, I dare you” He stalks off upstairs, slamming doors so hard the wood groans and leaving me sobbing in his hallway.

I managed to get a taxi back to my house, something as mundane as getting a taxi felt so bizarre. After what had just happened. I stumbled up the stairs, my whole body aching and protesting at the slightest movement. I fall onto my bed and sobbed until I couldn't cry anymore.

“Feyre, get up you are late for school”.

“I’m ill, so I'm not going in today” My voice is muffled by the duvet. Footsteps recede and my door slams. And there I am, totally alone, again. The silence is welcomed as I lie in my clothes from yesterday and avoid the population of the world. I don't think I could manage seeing anyone today, a nauseous feeling in my stomach builds up to my throat. I taste the bile stinging my tongue before I leap out of bed and sprint to my bathroom. Only just making it to the toilet bowl, I deposit the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl before flushing, changing into my pyjamas and falling into a restless sleep again. “Whoever is poking me, please go and fine something else to do with your time” I grumble to the owner of the finger jabbing my side incessantly.

“I will if you tell me what’s going on with you Fey, you're acting really strange” Andromache has been sat on my bed for the past twenty minutes in silence. Probably thinking through what she was going to say right down to the last word. She was like that, methodical and ordered, whereas I am wild and unruly, or was. I know what her reaction will be when she sees, it was the same as mine when I saw my face. Which is why I am putting it off for as long as possible. But Andromache is a tough one and refuses to leave me alone.

“Fine you want to know what is wrong, this is what is wrong”. I sit up and face her. Scarlet bruises mark my left cheekbone and right eye, so much I look like an overripe avocado. Bruises pepper up my arms and sit on my neck. Ugly and unforgiving. Her eyes widen considerably as she puts the pieces of the puzzle together and figures out what has been going on. Deep down I think she knew what was happening but didn't want to accept the fact that her best friend was being assaulted by the boy who was supposed to love her. Andromache is precious and needs to be protected, which is why I kept it from her. Or maybe I was ashamed of myself. For being a coward.

“Fey..” Her hand reaches out and then drops in the space between us.

“Don’t, I don't want to talk about it, we are over anyway. I somehow told him it was over after what happened and he saw red and the rest is history” Looking down at my bloodied and bruised knuckles, I wait for her reply. Her next words were cautious, like she knew the answer but wanted me to deny her beliefs. “What happened?”.

“I think you know what happened” I mumble, I cross my arms over my chest and look out the window. Despite my mood, the sun is out and the birds are singing. How ironic. Andromache launches herself onto me and collects me in a bone crushing hug. I hear her sniffle in my ear and know she is crying, slowly I prise my arms from my stomach and wrap them around my friend. And I too cry. And cry. And cry. Until I have no tears left.

“You can press charges, you should press charges, what he has done is illegal. You said no.”

“I know but I don't want too” The cotton of her blue shirt is wet from my tears and a fruity aroma comes through my nose. “Are you wearing perfume? You never wear perfume!” I pull back and look at my friend closely. She is the same Andromache, but different. The same shoulder length auburn hair, the same freckles dotted on her nose and cheeks. She’s wearing makeup. Not much but noticeable to me, a lick of mascara and a hint of pink lipstick. “Why are you wearing make up Andy?” My eyes narrow, making her fidget. She hasn't told me something.

“Ugh well when Tamlin took you off last lunch, funny thing is Mor came and sat down. Like she sat down next to me. I was so dumbstruck the she was speaking to me of all people. But she was so funny and genuinely wanted to talk to me. So we were talking and we talked about you as well. And we ended up exchanging numbers and have been texting since and I wanted to tell you yesterday on the walk home but you didn't meet me in our usual spot and then you bailed on me and then Mor texted me saying do you want to go for dinner? So we did and had an amazing time. I also sat with her and her friends because you were ill. They all asked about you and they were so funny”. Her cheeks are flushed and her chest movements are rapid. I smile softly.

“Is that all?” I tease. She smiles shyly. “Oh you kissed didn't you!” I jump up and clap. I pull Andy into a hug as my laughter bubbles out of me. “Did you kiss a girl and like it?” I smirk.

“Alright Katy Perry pipe down. Yeah it was nice, she's invited me to sit with them again tomorrow, but only if you want to of course” Andy looks at me and her gaze is so pleading and worried i’ll say no, I laugh.

“Of course, I don't mind silly”.

“By the way I am always here for when you want to talk about what happened” An instance is all that is needed to shatter the light hearted mood and turn it into a serious one. I nod and swallow the unshed tears pushing at the back of my eyes.

“Andromache, it’s nice to see you again, I see you brought a friend” Mor chirps as my friend slides into the chair next to her.  

“This is Feyre, I told you about her yesterday, she was ill” Andy retrieves her apple from bag and bites into it.

“OH you're Tamlin’s girlfriend right?” Mor smiles at me, a smile that makes your insides go all warm. I understand why Andy is infatuated with her.

“Um ex. But yeah thats me” I sit next to Andy while Mor struggles with words. My face has been covered in so much foundation to cover the intensity of the bruises, you could scrap it off with a spoon it’s so thick. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Scanning Mor’s face quickly she hasn't noticed the slight blue tinge to my skin despite the mountains of layers of foundation upon my face.

“Sorry about that, I haven't heard the news yet, I have been quite busy, I’m sure the others won’t be so rude when they get here, I just have a big mouth with no filter, like sometimes I wonder how I still have friends” More laughs and sends her blonde curled hair bouncing. Her eyes meet Andy’s and sparkle. I turn away from their private moment and am greeted with a massive figure.

“Hi I’m Cassian, You must be Feyre. We’ve heard a lot about you” Cassian smirks down at me before sitting in the chair next to me.

“All good I hope” Nervous chuckles escape from me as I stab the lettuce in my plastic lunchbox.

“Oh of course” Cassians eyes crinkle as his smile reaches his eyes. “That’s Azriel by the way” He points behind him to a slightly slimmer built boy but no less muscular. How long has he been there? I didn't even notice him sit down. Azriel tilts his head towards me with a small smile. “So Feyre, where were you yesterday? Stealing sweets from babies or kicking puppies?” Cassian’s smile is mischievous. I laugh.

“Well you know I am partial to kicking puppies when I am bunking off school but when I’m ill I do prefer to steal sweets from babies because it has more benefits”

“I like you Feyre, you're funny” Cassian bellows laughter and even the stoic Azriel cracks a smile.

“Carfeul Cass, you’ll catch flies”

“Oh dear Amren, You always grace my life with your kind words” A sarcastic smile is thrown in the small girls direction. Amren responds by putting her middle finger up at Cassain. He mocks hurt at this gesture.

“Feyre, I’m Amren, sadly you had the misfortune of meeting this Neanderthal and his quiet companion who keeps much better company. And of course our ever talkative Morrigan”. Her silver eyes watch me intensely before turning to greet Mor and Andromache, clearly bored of the conversation. OK…..

“Ah there you are, I’ve been looking forward to meeting the famous Feyre” A rich voice purrs from behind me.