#my eardrums dont but my heart does

[edgarallanpoestan]

"jaiden and cellbit are close because of their relationship with roier" "jaiden and cellbit are close because of their ties with the federation" WRONG jaiden and cellbit are close because they both jump and shriek whenever they get startled (which is alarmingly often)

[t0rturedangel]

Ummmm im sorry to bother but can we get some frank knight x reader fluff please

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐔𝐓𝐘 - ♡

Frank Knight x Reader - fluff

A/N :: Sorry i havent been posting guys ! I havent had much motivation but now i'll post more i promise ! Also i have more new fandoms i'll write for <33 ALSO THIS WAS REQUESTED TWICE SO I HOPE THE SECOND PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS IS HAPPY WITH THIS !!

" Y/n, my office now please " You heard the familiar voice of your chief, sighing you got up ignoring all the cheeky whispers from your colleges as you walked to her office, they snickered, eyes following you making you uncomfortable.

Entering the office you noted how your chief was clearly annoyed, sitting down she began to talk. " Thank you for coming Y/n " she sighed and in return you gave her a nervous smile " My pleasure Chief, so- uhm what did i do wrong now? " you asked thinking you messed up again as you did have a reputation of being a trouble maker, the only reason why she kept you with the team is because you're a relative of hers and she has a soft spot for you.

" You didn't do anything n/n, its Frank " your eyes widened for a second and one of your brows raised, confusion evident of your features " What about him? What did he do? " Leaning forward you held the end of her desk for support of your upper body " He's gotten really drunk again and i want you to find him and look after him- also please try to sober him up he has a new case " " So i have to baby sit him? " you deadpanned, disappointed you'd much rather be in trouble rather than look after Frank, you didnt hate the guy its just that sometimes he was too much.

" In a way yes, i do hope this isnt an issue, is it? " Her gaze darkened and you knew that you had no say in the matter so you didnt even bother to try and argue with her " Nope, it isnt an issue auntie, i'll go and babysit him " you groaned standing up and quickly leaving her office not letting her lecture you about calling her auntie at work

It didnt take you long to find Frank, he was by a pub laughing and singing his drunk heart out and bursting your eardrums out while he does. No, seriously, he sucks at singing. Getting out of your car you went over to the older man " Frank! Buddy hey, what cha doing ? " You grinned even though you knew what he was doing and wanted to create a conversation with him to distract him while leading him back to the car.

Frank 'huh-ed' in a slurred voice before turning to you a wobblily grin on his face as he registered who you were " Y/N !!!! " He yelled out swinging an arm around your shoulders pulling you into a hug to which you gaged " Ew- fuck Frank you reek of booze and vomit ! " you glared at him slightly pushing him as a way of getting away from him and his stench but he held on firmly " I dont fucking stink you little cheeky twat " he pulled you closer making you gag " Fucks sake Frank ! " you hissed " We need you to get sobered up ! You have a new case to work on ! " " Oh my fucking god " Frank groaned his grip loosened letting you easily get away from him.

" I dont wanna work on shit- " " You think i dont know that? You alway complain about it but you cant do anything about it so why dont you shut up and lets go get you some water yeah? " You grabbed the back of his shirt and led him to the car despite his and his friends' rebottle against you doing so.

Quickly you both sat down in the car, you being in the divers seat and Frank in the passengers, pulling out a cold water bottle you turned to him " This might not help- like at all- but still drink this, you need something different than beer " and as you chucked the bottle over he barely caught it, groaning as he gulped down massive amounts of the flavorless liquid. After he was done he looked over at you a small smile on his face as his eyes glossed over slightly. Was he about to cry? What for?

" Ya know kid, i like you " "Frank you have a wife " " NOT LIKE THAT !- I mean- you remind me of my girls ya know? you just remind me so much of them with your personality and all that other shit " You sighed and shook your head slightly " Thank for that Frank, now i think you should go to sleep might help speed up the sober-ing up process " that comment made you receive a scoff from Frank before he leaned back and immediately passed out.

Starting up the car you looked over to the sleeping man a small smile on your face " Thanks for that Frank, you know you remind me of a dad . . . " gripping the steering wheel you drove off not noticing the grin on Franks face

[jinkicake]

I think the mean men are taking rotations in my head,,,, bc now it’s Lucifer turn😞😞 I heard this dude on Tiktok do like a seep voice thirst trap and I literally was weak in the knees!! Like I was imagining Lucifer behind me and I folded like origami 😭 like pls I was pulling for scara today🙂 but it was something like “ surely you don’t think your own fingers can bring you as much pleasure as I can? Imagine how deep inside you they could reach; you seem distracted should I assist?” And I was on the floor gasping for air bc he does have nice hands😩like honestly the 5”5 men have been dragging me so I forgot I had a size kink so this tall asf man letting me sit in his lap and I can lean I to him like a beanbag 😔💦 like he would talk directly into my eardrums and it would be over for me like if he really wanted mc to behave he could have just seduced me ngl Belphegor can stay up there🥰🥰 but also seeing that my beloved wanderer is not as easily aggravated as he was before is SO great bc I can be the one to agitate him🤭 like he’s trying to start his redemption arc snd not beat people up; but there’s me to annoy him every step of the way. 100 would steal the gnosis to give it back to him bc ik there not gunna give it to Ei and wtf is that little napkin flavor baby gunna do?? Shes on house arrest!! He’s bit evil so give it back!! Behaving like a menace for dick>>>> like if him or Lucifer aren’t under my tree wtf was Christmas for??

omgggggg.... i've been waiting for this for so long. I knew lucifer would make an appearance, I just had to be patient!

you need to forget those anemo clowns and get a real demon! not a 5'0 puppet!!!!! (heheh just kidding xiao, you're not a clown!) speaking of puppet, have you pulled scaramouche yet? how many wishes have you spent T T I LOVE his playstyle like WHy did they give him the ability to fly because he's now the best character like he's so damn fun

no literally like if lucifer showed me an ounce, a mere pinch, of affection then Belphie would have stayed up in the attic until I died likeeeeee i'll be lucifer's little snitch for my whole life! his good human! if that is what it takes for some lucifer cawk!

also yeah i dont hate his redemption arc (i cant believe im saying that) omg i saw a video of scara in someone's teapot and he's SO sweet, so kind. he is not helping my delusional yandere scara addiction likeeeee yes i want him to be nice and kind to me while still being a complete psycho to others </3 you can hide me away forever! you know what's best, scaramouche!

no bc i'll literally kick nahida's ass like send that little archon flying across the room so i can give the genosis back to scara... i don't want to see him cryingggg HSDIUFHADSIJ SHE IS A NAPKIN FLAVORED BABYYYYYFSDF LITERALLY

yeah i would act completely fucking dumb for lucifer cawk if that pleases him.... if that is what it will take to get him under my tree.... i want scara in my stocking!

[O.M.G. also... why have we NOT as a society (society being you and me LOL) talked about how good dilucs jpn va is. LIKE i was playing w him today bc i wanted to hear giorno and his va went to work like i kick my feet and giggle every time i do his burst andddd KAEYA TOOOOO like today i played JUST w kaeya and diluc to hear their vas...... it had my heart racing! their voices make them ten times hotter like omggg hottest characters in the game (itto and ayato-gaara look the other way]

[sailorhyunjinz]

what do you think cuddle with skz would be like?

hmm,,, feels like ive been writing a bunch of fluff lately hehehe but let's do iiiiiit

Warnings; suggestive content~

Bangchan

a classic spooner

prefers to be the big spoon since he can hold you and it feeds his size kink ;))

may or may not press his bulge against your ass just to make you flustered

but would end up flustering himself lmao

doesnt mind your hair getting in his mouth or you wriggling about since he loves you too much to tell you anything ehhehe

will tell you about his day softly as his lips are close to your ear

leaving small kisses in between sentences cause you look so cute >:((

may or may not pat your butt

"you feel so warm and snuggly y/n" he says as he squeezes you tightly to your chest

bonus points if you giggle or like snort when you laugh he lives for that shit

Minho

legit cuddles in complete darkness

NOT BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO SEE YOU but because all other sense get hightened? (ok this sounds kinky its not i promise)

he just likes seeing nothing and just hearing the peaceful sound of your breathing followed with small whimpers (i give up)

in true catboy fashion he will rub his face on yours or anywhere else on your body (tits if you have those or ass)

also likes resting his head on your thighs since he can look up at you (and make fun of your dubble chin)

weird cat noises he only does when he's alone with you to signal that he wants a kiss

or he just pouts and points at his lips

if you dont give him kisses he wont hesitate to scream in your ear rip eardrums i guess

Changbin

arm pillow babeeeey

because you always tell him how sturdy his arms are and he blushes every time ahsahs

his other hand is usually resting on your tummy, tracing small circles or other figures on the soft skin

has the habit of talking about himself too much but you dont mind since he's always so excited talking about future projects or date nights he's planned

strokes your hair and gives you scalp massage if he's feeling extra

might or might not start sucking hickies on your neck heheheh

or start ya know,,, undressing you

poor boy cant help himself when he's this close to you

will always look at you with a slightly suggestive look MAYBE THATS JUST HIS RESTING FACE BUT LIKE- you cant help but to crack up every time and he's confused ahshash

craves attention, dont even turn around. eyes on him

Hyunjin

holds your hand the entire time

also loves to have his head on your chest since he can hear your stable heartbeat and it makes him calm

will probably fall asleep before you since he's just that comfy in your warm grasp

loves it when you continue to stroke his hair or cheek even when he's asleep

says "i love you" probably over a thousand times

like a fucking woodpecker on your lips my guy loves pecking you

in love when you wrap your legs around him >:((

also in love when you get all whiny if you dont get what you want

"hyunjinnieee!! hug me!!" you squeal out but hyunjin wants to tease you a bit, not reacting to your request

"b-but jinnie~ then im gonna steal it!" you say before wrapping your arms tightly around him causing him to crack up, his heart just melted

Jisung

can never just cuddle??

you guys always need to either watch a movie or fuck, just cuddling is if he's had a bad day

will 100% cry in your arms if he's not feeling well

loves nuzzling his face in the crock of your neck

so clingy?? dont you dare leave him to "get something" he will be a koala on your back

secretly likes being the small spoon >:(

"y/n~ come baaaack~ it's getting cold here!!"

loves it when you're squishing his cheeks or taking pictures of him when he's all cuddly and cute

🥁 PLAY 🥁 WITH 🥁 HIS 🥁 HAIR 🥁

especially if you have long nails, he loves when you scratch his hair UGH HE GETS ALL SQUIRMY

Felix

awh he loves when the two of you are looking at each other

always tells you how pretty your eyes are, that he can get lost in them because he's cheesy like that

say something cute about his freckles and he's putty in your hands

omgomgomg will bring cookies and hot chocolate to bed

massages for dayyyyssss

his favorite is hand massages because he's massaging you and holding your hand at the same time! WINWIN SITUATION

kisses on your cheeks >:((

BUT HE EXPECT JUST AS MANY KISSES BACK!!

rubs his hair all over you

he claims that he's "leaving his scent" so that you know that you belong to him

Seungmin

nose kisses~

"you're mine!"

lots of baby talk from our beloved puppy boy like he gets a slight lisp? (kimchi jjigae walkie talkie yah)

likes having his arms wrapped around your waist since you cant escape him then hehehe

give him kisses, he needs them all over his face

i have a weird feeling that he's warm? human radiator basically

so every time you are complaining that its cold he will just open his arms

also this is not cuddling but he will trade gloves with you because he's warmed up his own gloves while you are still freezing

protect him and he will protect you

i basically picture two cats cuddling, thats the energy

Jeongin

legits want you to just lie on top of him LMAO SUFFOCATE HIM WITH LOVE

will talk about the most random stuff ever

will prepare one random fact when you lie close to him in his arms

"did you know that avocadoes are berries?"

followed by a cute giggle and it just makes your heart melt >:(

"oh and also did you know that i love you?" AAAAAH he's honestly adorable (ok cherry we get it)

will also tickle you randomly because it makes you laugh and he loves it

you are the only person that gets to have your hands on his,,, abs ;))

smiles when you kiss him a-and then he hides underneath the blanket :(

[taegularities]

HALF A DAY LATER BUT I AM HERE!!!

hello, beautiful rid💜

A tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pink lips coming close to yours and dark eyes reading your desire in your pupils. “What other girls when there’s you?”

ooof???!!

[…] as you plead, “Just… fuck me dumb and stupid. Please. I’ll leave right after if you want me to, but I just–”

ma’am this is a mcdonald’s drive through

Because deeper thoughts mean attachment. Deeper thoughts mean missing each other without provocation, no proper trigger needed. Deeper thoughts mean dedication, craze and losing yourself in someone’s devotion.

let’s revisit this line chapters later

But you wonder if you ignite something new in him the way he does in you; something anyone else doesn’t.

NO!!! but yes i mean

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” you blurt, biting your lip right away as you watch his form freeze on his mattress. His cheeks are flushed from the sex you just had, and you can see them grow one shade darker as soon as he registers your words. “Please.”

AAAAH

You roll your eyes in exhaustion, shaking your head as you remark, “Your fantasies are truly as wild as a four year old’s.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Considering the fact that Jungkook studies at the university with saved money while balancing his bank account carefully, it’s only natural that he feels uneasy with your offer. And sitting here with you, the daughter of arguably one of the richest families in town and your country, his discomfort only grows further.

baby :(

He thinks of the stray bristles of his used brushes that accompany all of his paintings. Remembers all the nights he gave up on his work, unsatisfying strokes on his canvas frustrating the perfectionist in him. His watercolours are too old, acrylics dried.

i just know i love him so much already

Shrill laughter of a group of people in the background interrupts your train of thoughts, accompanied by overwhelming claps – whoever made the joke of the century, must have caused a broken eardrum or two.

jung hoseok is this u

You wonder if he called Nara similar names tonight.

we don’t need this

Perhaps not through his actions – you don’t think he’d ever jab your heart on purpose.

😭😞

“I feel like I’m in The Princess Diaries or something.”

PLSSSS

But Jungkook only shrugs his shoulders, smiling at you before he ignores your orders further. With a relaxed, bored tone in his voice, he says, “The food lands in my tummy anyway.”

he’s so cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 i can’t stop giggling!!!!

“Always begging for me, aren’t you?”

WE MUST STAY FOCUSED, BROTHERS

Jungkook audibly holds his breath for a moment when you straddle him, shaking your slippers off your feet as you wrap your arms around his neck. He straightens his back, staring up into your hooded gaze as he insists, “I think you’re prettier.”

🫣 but also 🥰

“No neighbours… means… no one here to complain about the sounds you pull out of me.”

OH?

“By the way. Talking about boyfriend privileges… you’re also the first one to see my collection of… Percy Jackson books…”

JEON JUNGKOOK IS SUCKLING AT YOUR NECK, WE DONT CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!

“Aren’t you brave today? You know I’m gonna take your ability to speak, right?”

“What, you think I’m scared of,” you eye him up and down, puffing out a mocking breath, “your ridiculous dick?” His jaw clenches, though he doesn’t seem offended or mad; rather, you feel another jerk of his cock, pleasantly satisfied. “Try me, Kookie.”

PLAKSNEKIAIS SYES GIRL!!!!!

“Could fucking punish you for this big mouth of yours. Tie you up and smudge your fucking make up,” you hear him say from above as he pulls down his clothing and sets his girthy length free.

I NEED A MINUTE OK??!!!!!

“Well… you’re gonna pretend some for your parents,” he looks at you, a lopsided smirk appearing, “then, you’re gonna fall for me,” fingers trace your shoulder and arm; and for some reason, you let him, “and you’re gonna beg me to stay because you find me so,” he lowers his voice, unnecessarily dramatic, film dialogue-ish, “undeniably hot.”

uh maybe jeon wtf 😳

[…] nudging your shoulder with his own as he assures, “Deal. Don’t worry about the papers. There’s just you anyway.”

AGAIN?

i’m so excited for the next updates!!!

AWWWWH DEAREST PAULI, A FEEDBACK WITH QUOTES, THIS IS LITERALLY SO SWEET !!!!!

the mcdonald's drive through comment made me cackle 😭 and u know what.... yes let's revisit those lines later, we might all just be mocking oc then 😔 and gosh i love him, too !!! the things i've planned with cmi!jk made me fall for him SO HARD. i hope u feel the same once the story proceeds 💕

btw, jung hoseok 👀 nara 👀 HMMM

SERIOUSLY WHO CARES ABOUT PERCY JACKSON, we've got jk bruising our neck 😔 AND YES AGAIN.... she's the only one.... she is, right? riiight?

gosh thank u for reading, love, this is so lovely and i can't wait for the next update either !! 😭 <3

[pa-panda-heroes]

I love ur blog!! May i please request headcanons for my fav boys Dabi and Tomura. How would they react if their female s/o had a really bad day and is on the edge of tears and isnalmost begging, "please hug me, just hug me" and then starts sobbing?💗 Thank you!

Thank you, sweets!! And you absolutely may!! I had fun with these. Your fav boys are best boys :’)

Dabi and Tomura reacting to their s/o is having really bad day!

Tomura:

The first thing Tomura sees is the look on your face - he just knows something’s wrong and he’s trying to figure out what to do about it.

Next, of course, the thought of “what motherfucker did this” comes across his mind and he’s ready to go on a warpath, ready to decay the one responsible for your poor mood in the slowest, most painful way possible.

But then you approach him with your arms stretched and face scrunched with whatever it is you’re feeling, prompting wide-open eyes from him, and implore him, “please hug me, just hug me.” If your mouth hadn’t said it, your body language most certainly did.

Any desire to go destroy whatever did this to you in Tomura leaves him, and he realizes you need him right now. He can’t leave. Maybe not yet, maybe not at all.

And it’s when he hears your sobs that he breaks and rushes to you to wrap his arms right around you, giving you what you asked for but being careful to keep his pinkies raised. He’ll hold you as close as you can and bury his head in your neck, or let you bury yours in his. His fingers - except his thumbs - will rake back and forth against your back to provide comfort.

He can’t offer comforting words or any words of advice because he doesn’t know what went down. Technically, he doesn’t care. His priority is to calm you down and help you ride through it. Maybe probably he’ll do something about it later.

Tomura will listen if you tell him or vent. He’s a really good listener, I think, much to the surprise of probably many. He won’t interrupt you, no matter how much what you tell him might anger him.

He’ll give you a squeeze every once in a while to let you know he’s still listening even when you’ve been on for fifteen minutes and he hasn’t said anything.

For the rest of the day he’ll try to pamper you if he can, possibly running a hot bath for you, which you can share if you feel up to it. He won’t leave your side unless you’re adamant that he does for whatever reason, because he just wants to make sure you’re okay, and know that he’s there.

Dabi:

Dabi, being Dabi, is going to jump at the chance to tease you about the sour look on your face - “You look like you just lost the love of your life, babe. Last I checked, I’m still here.”

It’s when you brush him off by waving your hand and shaking your head he realizes something’s off. Now he feels like an ass, so he’ll ask quietly what’s wrong.

He’ll even threaten to turn whoever might be responsible into nothing but ashes. He tells you he will set all of Japan aflame if it makes you happy, just as long as he never gets to see that look on your face again.

“Dabi- dont. Please hug me, just hug me,” you tell him, voice cracking and eyes filled with tears. He’ll stop for a second at the desperation laden in your voice, knowing something is really wrong and you need a calm, collected Dabi for a bit.

Dabi will comply quietly, not indicating he’s disappointed you won’t tell him so he can torch the son of a bitch who did this, if there is one. But your sobs hit his eardrums and he really wants someone, anyone, to pay for this. How did this happen to you.

But he also knows leaving you now would be a shit thing to do, with how desperately you’re clinging to him. He wants to be an ass about it and storm out, but he knows he can’t.

So he’ll crack whatever stupid jokes come to mind while you’re just standing there, eneveloped in his arms. He’ll rub your back soothingly and sway a little back in forth if he thinks you’ll find it comforting.

He’ll tell you about his day, or something lighthearted/funny that happened to him just to get your mind off what happened in your day. He’ll offer plenty of cuddles if you so feel like it once you let go.

He’ll be uncharacteristically gentle and even smothering if you let him, because even if he’s a cold-hearted villain, he cares about you. Dabi will easily give you distance if you ask him to, and he’ll stay close if you ask him to do that. But you have to tell him. Otherwise, he won’t know what route to take to help you feel better.

[transhoverfish]

I had this question in my mind for few days now but.. how many AUs have you made up for both Subnautica games?

I'm really curious because I started writing down all the ones that ever came on my mind (I have twelve now) - I wrote them into a Word document and some even have a description

I mean like the medieval, college.. any kind of au

hmmm actually i don't have that many? wait no nevermind. i just counted there's at least 8 counting survivors KABDKABFOHA

ANYWAYS here's a brief rundown of all my aus! once again long post so its under a read more. because by brief i mean at least a paragraph per au because im bad at being brief.

survivors

so this is the au im currently writing for! degasi lives, avery lives, various aurora crew live and they save the planet from the kharra a few times and raise some sea emp babies. big found family and some literal just family. some murder on the side too but that's not important found family only. probably the only one of this list that's ever to be properly written and finished.

melon and the coconut + dreamland

avery/bart centrenic au, partly based on an alteration of survivors where only they live. bart lives in his own fantasy of different outcomes to events, dreaming of something else. avery grows distant and bitter with bart's unwillingness to accept what's happened, and starts to blame him for everything. eventually the two drift apart so much that they barely interact, and avery leaves bart's base to build his own. bart never goes after him, and avery never purposely looks for him again. i got obsessed with glass animals + specifically these two songs so i daydreamed an au up. saddest out of all these i think :(

keen au

its keen sole survivor au babey!! according to 🌟realism🌟 most ppl don't live if they pass out for longer than like an hour (that does not include sitting in a small area w a fire and smoke for 3+ hours) so ryley uhhh Dies. keen doesn't go back to the aurora w/ yu and ends up being the only survivor. bc im a sucker for bart lives that might be a thing, perhaps not, it depends on my mood half way through.

ghost au

main plot of game with only on the crater, but everyone else is a ghost now and haunt ryley. ghosts can see ryley, ryley can see ghosts, ghosts cannot see each other, although they can occasionally hear each other if the people in question were close before they died. mostly just subnautica but ryley befriends dead people.

horror au

survivors but like….. mutations with WAY WORSE consequences and all the effects of the kharra that i forgot about. did you know the kharra causes aggression? because i did not. its mentioned in like 1 log and i totally forgot. living in complete isolation for 10 years and believing everyone you know is dead, and blaming yourself for the future deaths u know are coming? being able to hear a goddamn mile around you at all times while still having mostly the same normal human eardrums? being able to stop yours and others hearts AT ANY TIME WITH NO CONTROL OVER THIS AT ALL?

these powers fuck them up a lot more in this variation. also ocean scary. but mostly mutations and kharra and everything messes up everything for everyone.

paul fucking dies au

everything's the same up until the landslide at the first island base, where the degasi were inside when that giant boulder crashed into it. bart and marg escape but paul dies. whoops! never thought too hard about this one but marg probably makes all decisions, they explore further, maybe meet sea mama?? and stop the aurora + sunbeam from crashing?? hmmmm. but yeah just paul dies faster.

degasi in arctic au

the entire degasi ends up floating out to sector zero and marg is not alone! bart adopts preston. that is literally all i've thought about in this au, the base premise of it and bart adopts a dog.

evil bart au

bart….. but no longer Baby. bart is now Feral and Rabid. kind of a bad title bc hes not like, intentionally evil, but he makes some fucked up decisions and ppl die. basically the very original plot of survivors where bart gets obsessed with finding sea mama and curing the planet that Nothing Will Stop Him. destroys precursor stuff to stop the others from interacting w it and finding out anything, specifically lets micah and beatrix die bc they spoke out about him too much, probably lets danby die instead of helping him, probably partly responsible for paul's death similar to the very first degasi logs. havent thought about it in a long while so i dont remember much about it other than bart was evil. not rlly an au as opposed to a strange character choice for him that i ended up not liking, so prob the only one on here ill def never write out but hey figured id list it anyways

and i think that's all?? all of the ones i could remember or bothered to write down at least lol. got me a big list!!! :o

[randomsevans]

You cant be serious

Ransom Drysdale x reader

#30daysofchris2020 @jtargaryen18

Summary , you and randoms have to get married and either of you want to but ransom want to keep his money and you want to be able to keep your family a float as well as publish your book series . You started as just a general made at the mansion . Harlan took a liking think it was because you were his employer not because he was planning on marrying you of to his grandson.

As you sit there in a closet of room in the Thortons manner , you think this would be the perfect time to run . Run away for this insane idea and leave Ransom at the alter (that's even if he turns up ) . If you though with this you will become y/n Drysdale and become the wife of the asshole , trust fund play boy knows as Ransom Drysdale or Hugh to the help (which you were before you were giving this offer by Harlon ).

This is not how you expect your wedding day to be like you thought it would be months of planning and before that years of saving , all to marry the man of your dreams , a man you love . But no instead it was a shot gun wedding to an asshole you cant stand and you know will no not stick to the vows and promise you are about to make .

You could just run in your white silk knee length dress , that was quickly brought for you hours before .

Run and act as if you were never made this offer , never asked to become a Drysdale. But at the same time you will never get another chance at this. With you doing this you would be able to help out your family and that's you could ever want .

Your plans to make a quick get away way was cut short by the opening of the door to reveal you best friend and also one of your bridesmaids, followed by Meg who would also be your bridesmaid.

" you ready ? " martha entered the in a stunning knee length emerald dress .

"Your not changing your mind are you ?" Meg questioned in a similar dress.

" of course iam ,I just dont get why me ?" You stood up.

Meg come closer to you " I believe that my Grandfather just wants what's best for Ransom and he know like all of our, you have a good heart and if anyone can his bratty behaviour its probably you " her words caught you of graud .

"I'm not going to lie to you and you probably already know it's not easy to be in this family and god knows Ransom is indeed going to be the worst husband in the world , but give him time "

You just nod in response.

" so I'll repeat Martha question are you ready ?"

" for my death sentence ya !" There both giggle and that lightens your mood, maybe it's not glug to be that bad when you have these two to complain to . "Has he even turned up? "

"Yeah he has " martha say just as as surprised as you .

"Y/n , I want you to know that I care about you and apart from gramps I'll probably be the only one ,and I want you to know Ransom I only doing this so he can keep his money , so he probably wont be the most honest , respectful husband, he will probably still be .."

" sleeping around .. I know .. I know,he has his reason why he marrying me and I have mine , it's not how iam imagined it but ..."

" I'll always be here okay , but give him time he might change and if he doesnt well just come to me if he becomes even more of an asshole , okay ?"

" I think ... I think I'm ready?" You said nervously .

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

The music starts play ,and you enter the garden, with Megan and Martha behind you , nobody turns around to face you apart form Harlan who gives you a warm smile with a little nod . You began to walk down the small isle and walk past the rest of the Drysdale and Thortons , you didnt invite your little family , you didnt want them to get judge and see you going to your life long sentence of hell .

As you reach the alter , you notice Ransom in a stunning emerald green suit at complainant's the surrounding you are currently in , his hair slick back as used and a clean shave , he hasn't even looked up once at you.

As Martha and Meg leave your side , you step in front of Ransom with the small flowers placed in your hand . The music finally stops and you let out a breath you didnt know you were holding, as all eyes glare at you and Ransom . Fully knowing nobody wanted to be here . Well maybe Harlan .

Ransom finally looked up at you and his eyes widen as if surprise to see you . He did know he was getting married to you right ? But it wasnt a shocked look, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it , either way you began to blush and the bastard saw it and stared to do that devilish grin he always has on his face . You two stare at each other for what feel like enterity broken by Harlon who has some how manage to get up and looks like he is the one who is going to entitle you and Ransom together .

"We are here today ..." harlon begans

"Yeah .. yeah can we hurry up " Ransom rudely hissed at his Grandfather.

"Random" his mother Linda shouted , he just returned a death glare and a shrug . Wow this man is really something you think .trying to hold back your laughter at this whole situation, maybe if you find the humour in this , you could survive. Megan picks up on you and bust out laughing and you do the same . You know it's not funny but you can help your self . Ransom quickly turns his head to you and now your receiving the death stares. You calm your self down and raise your head high , still a smirk on your face .

"Fine , can we have the rings " Harlon exclaims and soon enough Jacob bring up a pillow with two rings. Ransom picks one up and you do the same. When jacob turns away and automatically whacks his phone out and sits back down . You examine the ring, a simple band but instead of being gold it was much darker or like iron , looked at more morden and probably suited Ransom taste more . Not like he would wear it much , probable end up taking it of at a bar and losing it only fo get a replacement and lose that one .

"I assume you to know what to say " I nod and to my surprise Ransom does it , he probably gonna say some stuiped shit , 'like your my mine now get use to it and you cant tell me what to do and you better keep one eye open when you sleep '

But when Ransom gently lift your hand and looks into your eyes with the softest blue eys the words that leave his months surprised you . "I Hugh Ransom Drysdale take Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n to be my lawfully wedded wife ,for richer , for poor , for sickness and in health till death do us part "

He said remain eye contact with you as if he was saying it as a man who loved you, but no doubt he probably had hes fingers or toes crossed while saying it .

He pushes the ring upon your hand , not looking at it , scared to break the trance you and Ransom are currently in , even tho you feel it's one sided . Onde Harlon clears his throat you began to fiddle with the ring and bring up Ransom hand that is massive compared to your ,towards the ring and stare back at those ocean blue eyes you are too scared to look at knowing theres a risk you will never look away .

You didnt notice until you began to speak that you were shaking. " I Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n take Hugh Ransom Drysdale to be my lawfully wedded husband... for richer " you unknowing pause " for poor , in sickness and in health ... till death do... us ..part" to whisper but enough for even one to hear as your weak little voice shakes.

The blunt clasping begans and sets a steady rhythm that brings pain your eardrums.

"I now pronouns you man and wife " Harlon glance at Ransom " you may ..." oh no you forgot about this part ."kiss the bride "

Oh no .. your heart sinks to your stomach you forget about this part. You glance away from Harlon to to Ransom expecting to see a smug smile on his face but instead he looked calm maybe even a little nervous. He brought his hand to your check ,stepping closure , and brought a hand to your hip sending shock waves through out your body . " may I " he whispered and you nodded . He finally brought his lips to your ,soft and plump. He place one lingering peck , long enough for your to be standing there feeling the earth move as both your eyes are closed . With his soft, lips leaving yours with a pop , you keep your eyes closed until his hands were removed form your hip and check. You final open your eyes to see a smug Ransom and , the butterfly you felt in your stomach moments ago was slowly fading. He reaches for your hand , and you place your small hand in his and intertwine your fingers, that fit perfectly together. You turn to face everyone, while Ransoms bends down and whispers in your ear .

" Your mine now Mrs Drysdale " he said in smug as voice, what he didnt expect was .

"So are you Mr Drysdale ".

[ghoulciifer]

submission:

🐸 anon: “hii congrats on 100 followers🥺can i request a hq matchup with a boy.I’ll be anon 🐸 I go by she/her,5’5,have black straight hair,brown eyes and freckles on my nose.Im skinny,my zodiac sign is saggitarius.I get bored very easily,i love watching anime and movies my favorite genre is horror/gore but sometimes even romance😾.Im funny hehe also im the friend people come to when they need advice or just cheering up,i dont like talking about my own feelings and im not a talkative person. I dislike arrogant and loud people.And if i dont like someone they’ll get the hint lmao but if i do like someone i’ll be all over them taking care of them even tho i dont like pda.I like rock/punk music.I have a resting bitch face and look bored all the time(prolly cuz i am)i get attached to people fast and hate if they choose someone over me.Im anxious and have some sad days where i dont want to leave my bed,also struggle w a lot of insecurities.i have few friends cuz imtooshyandawkward.”

notes: 🐸 anon i’m so happy you decided to be a part of my event!! you sound like an adorable human and i really hope you like who i matched you up with! thank you for your support, and i hope you stick around for a lil’ while ❥

why i matched you:

» i really feel like your personalities would mesh well with each other. Ushijima might seem like a stoic, bored brick wall but he’s got feelings, just like you! underneath both of your uninterested facades is a caring human who wants nothing more than to help those they love most.

» your natural humor is what really draws ushi in the most, he might not laugh outwardly but know he’s grinning like an idiot on the inside (and sometimes the outside). honestly he wouldn’t even have to understand what the joke means, just the way you deliver it is enough to make him chuckle. he’s super oblivious 9 out of 10 times but when he actually does register your joke? you’ve got him hooked.

» ushi is also not a super talkative person, so i feel like you two would have lots of comfortable, relaxing dates in near complete silence. he would understand your shy/awkward nature because he’s also kinda reserved and awkward, which, much like you, it often comes off as intimidating or bored. you guys just get each other, y’know?

» not really into pda? not a problem, neither is wakatoshi. he prefers to keep those special touches and intimate moments between the two of you in private. plus, he doesn’t need to be territorial with you at all, everyone already knows you’re dating and wouldn’t dare do anything to piss ushijima off.

» ushijima would never stray from your relationship after it’s been established, he wouldn’t want to waste his or your time with something as silly as picking someone else over you. he’s a very committed partner and will do everything in his power to help you understand that he’s with YOU! no one else!

» ushijima doesn’t have a whole lot of insecurities, his time developing his skills in volleyball helping him build up enough confidence to keep his head high no matter what life throws at him. however, he knows you might not be as fortunate to have that luxury, but that’s okay! he’s gonna be there for you through every self deprecating thought, every panic attack, every depressive episode, you name it. he might be a little rusty at first but once he figures out what works best for you, he won’t leave your side until you’re smiling and telling him how much you love him.

drabble:

A shrill scream rips through the small living room of your shared apartment with Ushijima, and you instantly curl into his side as the sound rings within your eardrums. The horror movie in front of you wasn’t particularly scary, of course - it was your favorite genre. But the actress who was currently being mutilated on screen was doing a very convincing job at conveying her fear of dying, how could you not shutter in response?

Ushijima feels the hand on his waist grip the fabric of his shirt and looks down to see you tucked even further under his arm, the cutest quirk to your brow as you suck in air through your teeth. He grins at the sight.

“You okay, love?”

Your eyes stay glued to the screen as you gently tilt your head upward, eventually meeting his amused gaze with the same disturbed expression. Your bottom lip juts out into a pout when you catch the amused glint in his eye.

“I’m fine, ‘Toshi, but how the hell are you NOT creeped out? Her insides literally just got ripped out of her!”

You had a point - should anyone see this massive man smiling so softly during such a gory moment of the movie, surely they’d think he was insane. But you didn’t realize you’d captivated his attention and tore him away from the movie he, truthfully, really wasn’t all that phased by. He would much rather watch the way you wiggled under the blanket in your laps and hold on tighter to him, as if the more you clung onto him the safer you felt.

Which, of course, was true.

“You’re… precious, you know that?” The hand draped over your shoulder moves to pull you in closer as he leans over and presses a soft kiss to your temple, effectively bringing a hesitant smile to your lips. The notion was so sweet it melted your heart... but the amount of blood on screen made it hard to enjoy the moment in its full glory. As the heat rushed to your cheeks you rolled your eyes and wrapped your arms around his toned waist, nuzzling into his chest and inhaling his scent.

“Yea, yea… let’s just finish the movie, okay? You can tell me how cute I am later.”

deadline for matchups is (08/29/20)! be sure to submit your entry before this date and check the tag #tumplaysmatchmaker to stay updated!

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Broken Mirrors

Author: Evil_Kingdom

Year: 2010

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Vince/Richmond

Another Night, Another Bar...

Richmond takes a sip from his drink, some fruity dark red coloured drink, hell if he can remember what the name is. He takes a long gulp, shuttering at the after taste of alcohol. He thinks to himself what a weak man he is, far from what others he works with are like. Even Moss is stronger then him, and to everyone that says a lot.

But I thought you liked Moss?....

I do.

But you know he doesnt like you right?....

I know. No one likes me.

Oh dont be so hard on yourself Richie...

Shut up inner thought. Im tired of you being the only one to talk to.

He shakes his head, believing that maybe going out for a bit of air will be the solution to his problem. He gulped down the rest of his drink, places it carefully on the table, looks a round the room to see people giving him odd and funny looks

See? Maybe if you only dressed like them... maybe the would actually like you...

Not you too inner evil thought. Shut up

Richmond gives his head a big shake, then flattens out his long dark hair back into place. He then takes the steps through the crowd of people dancing irratically to the DJ with the toys up in the booth. He thinks to himself that maybe it was a bad day to come to the bar, a day when there is just too many people around. Not that he really minds that there are people around, it just isnt his type of people, so it makes for more awkward moments.

He instantly feels the cold air wrap around him as he pushes open the door. He cracks a small smile, feeling the comfort of a familiar friend

Hello Wind, nice to feel you again

He leans against the cold wall, closing his eyes for a brief moment, trying to collect all his thoughts and feelings.

Maybe I should just go home... Its not like im going to find anyone tonight.

Maybe you will never find anyone....

I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.

He lets out an exasperated cry, slamming his fits beside him into the wall. Tears start to gather in his eyes as he opens them, looking up into the shine of the moon,

It will be ok Richie, it will all work out soon....

Thanks moon, I can always count on you.

Im the Mooonnn....

Looking out onto the darkness of the streets, he sees gaggles of people, all sorts of people, dancing and being happy, drunk and laughing.

Why cant I be like them? Why cant I have some friends?

Richmond sighs again, standing up a bit straighter, rubbing the scratches on his hands.

No need to be sad anymore. Im better then this, I can get through this.

Being depressed just makes you a stereotypical goth Richie...

Thats right inner thought. And I'm not one to be stereotypical.

Pushing off from the wall, brushing his hands softly over his dark red velvet jacket, he gives himself a smile. Tomorrow will be a better night, tomorrow he will find someone to talk to.

Tomorrow tomorrow...

Richmond stares at himself in the mirror, checking every pore on his skin.

Perfect whiteness. Though I could lay off the sun a bit more, then it would be more perfect.

You know its fashionable to have a tan now a days Richie...

I know. But thats not who I am, I am a confident attractive young man.

Just keep telling yourself that....

Shut up inner evil thought. You cannot ruin my mood today. I am going to go out a meet someone. Just you watch me.

Giving himself a big smile, flashing his clean and white teeth, he applies the final stages of his eye makeup, adding a touch of black glitter to the corners of his eyes making his blue eyes sparkle.

Moving to the closet double doors he looks into rows of reds, deep purples and blues, hints of green, and rows upon rows of black. But at the very end, far back in the walk in closet, you can see a hint of his past, 3 normal suits still hang from bar, still unable to give away the last of the past.

He holds onto them thinking one day, one day, he may actually have the want to try them on, try on what he used to be, what it was like to be the cool guy, the guy with talent, friends, and a job that doesn't include staring at flashing buttons in the basement.

As he grabs his favourite creepers, a pair of black spiderweb socks, and a deep purple button up jacket, he sits on his bed and begins to hum a Cure song, one that he cant seem to get out of his head...

Oh please don't ask me who i am

Or when and where my life began

Or why i ended up like this or how

Standing up he brushes himself off and walks out into his hallway, out the front door, and on to the streets. Walking at a slow pace he watches the moon that sits high up into the night sky, surrounded by little stars, faint to see in the brightness of the cities lights. Continuing down the street, turning left, then making a right, he finds himself smack dab in the middle of bar and nightclub alley.

Now which one shall I pray upon tonight... hmmm decisions, decisions.

You make it sound as if you will have people just throwing themselves at you when you enter the doorway, you do know you will probably drink yourself stupid and wander home, just like every weekend.

Shut up inner evil thought. I told you. Tonight is my night. Tonight I will come home victorious. Gotta be confident, show them that Im a great person.

Richmond smiles to himself, confidence beaming through him like a flaming dagger sword from his heart.

And then he sees him.

The perfect figure of a man.

Gleaming black hair, shiny with product, perfect shape and placement

But not a goth.

Richmond gives a questionable look, heart beating faster in his chest.

Well he is a he...right?

That doesn't change anything, Im quite happy with any sexual preference. Not to say i'm not picky, but love is love you know, it doesn't have a gender.

For the first time in his life, his heart beats fast, quickens his pace, and jogs up to the club, slipping through the door, staring at the slight in front of him

Lights gleam from the ceiling, flooding the crowd with different colours, music loudly playing, but not loud enough to destroy eardrums. Not a bad selection of music, thankfully, Richmond hoping that there wouldnt be an idiot DJ tonight. He searches the club trying to find the man with the perfect hair... Bingo. Right next to the bar, sitting alone.

Here's my chance. Don't fuck it up.

He takes a deep breath, straightens out his clothes, fixes his hair, and makes a casual walk towards the bar.

“One cherry vodka sour please.”

He leans on the bar, trying to be casual and confident, thinking to himself that it probably doesn't look the case, but as long as he doesn't look ridiculous, its all that matters.

Well there he is Richie... go for it..

I will I will. Don't pressure me. You know what happens when I get pressured.

You get all clammy and your voice goes all squeaky and then people stare and laugh at you....

Thanks for the reminder asshole.

Richmond turns and glances towards the man. He makes eye contact, seeing full well the man beside him is staring. His face goes pink, but he can't look away...

“Can I help you? Are you starin' at me for a reason?” The dark haired man tilts his head

“Uhh... ummm... no, I was just looking over, sorry to bother you. I don't mean to make any trouble..”

Youre pathetic Richie. What happened to your confidence?...

“I don't mean to be mean, you don't have to get all defensive.” The man gives a small laugh,

“My name is Vince, Vince Noir, you probably heard about me, I am the king of Camden Town”

The man, Vince, flashes one of the most gorgeous smiles he's ever seen, his confidence clears.

“Umm no, sorry, I haven't heard about you...”

But I would love to..

Richie go for it. Give him something else to smile about....

“My name is Richmond, and I would love to find out why everyone knows you”

Richmond tries to give himself a confidence boost, giving a small cheeky smile, turning back to pay the bartender and grab his drink.

“Would you like a drink? My treat?” Richmond glances over Vince, seeing that he chooses the glam rock style, not something he is used to, but man does he make it look hot. He slowly gives him a once over, looking at his tight shiny shirt, trailing down to his black tight pants...

His eyes linger on his bulge, his perfectly pressed bulge against his pants, perfect...

“Oi mate, eyes up here, k love?” Vince flashes a coy smile, giving a small chuckle

He snaps out of his daze, face going red

“Im sorry, I didnt mean to, I mean I wasnt..”

if your face could get any redder, you would be a tomato.

“I'll take you up on your drink offer, a flirtini please, extra sour” Vince motions for him to take a seat beside him, giving him a cheeky grin.

He returns with drinks, placing his preferred drink in front of him, sliding into the booth beside him.

Now what are you going to do Richie? You cant just get him wasted you know

I know that... Im working on it.

“You alright mate? You arent the drug type are you?” Vince tilts his head towards Richmond, catching his eye, “You look a bit spaced out. I hope im not boring you or nothin”

“Oh no, no... no problem. Im just not used to someone being nice to me, usually I get brushed off quick and that is that” Richmond tries to smile it off, like its nothing.

Vince grins, his hand slowly creeping up Richmond's leg, stopping to grab his thigh. “Good. A pretty boy like you wanted to know about me, so heres how it starts”

Popping the cherry from his drink into his mouth he leans over, hand trailing down Richmond's thigh. His mouth getting ever so close, Richmond feeling his alcoholic breath push against his face, heart racing a mile a minute.

This is it. He is actually into me

Richmond leans forward, opening his mouth, tongue flicking forward hitting the cherry stem, before closing the gap with his lips..

Tonight be all i dream

There isn't any yesterday

Tomorrow starts a day away

This here and now with you is how

Always should always be

This

Here and now

With you

[wonderlustlucas]

eggs - lee taeyong

⇢ prompt Breakfast does not go to the stomach, it goes to the heart. ⇢ pairing taeyong x female reader ⇢ word count 3.1k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none unless fluff gives u whiplash :D ⇢ summary “Taeyong fluff. basically like they aren’t a couple yet but they know they both like each other so they’re all cutesy and shit :) plot doesn’t really matter tbh as long as it’s some cute ass fluff”—request ⇢ a/n take this fluffy shit and shove it up ur ass for optimum benefit

“Noona, will you please make us breakfast?” You are one hundred percent going to kill him.

“Ten, call me that again and the only thing I will cook is your arms and legs. I just bought cereal and milk, so leave me alone,” you groan like a branch under the weight of snow, rolling away from the brightness of the sun filtering through the window and swinging a leg out from beneath the covers to dangle off the bed. “No, you finished the cereal Thursday and never told me to pick up more, plus there’s no milk left,” Ten retorts, voice muffled behind the white door and at the sound of his—your—friends laughing, you feel like screaming. “Then go out and buy some more!”

“___, there’s like fifty eggs in the fridge, plus it’s past twelve and loverboy is starving, don’t you want to cook for T—“

“Okay, shut up!” You shout, accepting defeat rather than embarrassment and whipping the blankets away with an annoyed sigh. Picking a crumpled tee shirt from the floor, you pull it over your head with a certain irritation and make way for the door, swinging it open and glaring coldly at the grinning boy despite the heat growing on your cheeks like sunburn. “I hope you rot in Hell,” you hiss, jabbing a finger into his chest and stomping past him.

In a weak attempt to move past your guests as quietly as possible, you direct your attention to the floor and scurry through the living room quiet as a mouse, embarrassingly aware of loverboy’s—as Ten called him—presence. “Morning, ___.”

Caught. “Good morning,” you sigh, finally averting your gaze to look at the trio and offering a feeble wave. Maybe if you just pretend that he isn’t here, you can survive the day. However, as soon as your eyes land on Lee Taeyong and all his glory, hot rosiness is already burning its way up your neck quicker than before and settling on the apples of your cheeks. Curse you, you want to say, mouth sour and stare fixated on the brunette for a heartbeat too long until he smiles and you embarrassingly hurry on to the kitchen.

If it’s not for the incessant growling of your stomach, you truly contemplate opening the refrigerator door just to slam it back on your head; however, even though you would never admit it, cooking breakfast for Taeyong remains to be your first and foremost priority on this lovely afternoon. And so, no matter how much you don’t want to, you smack a cast-iron pan loudly on the stove and twist on the gas, pausing to count with your fingers how many eggs you’ll need before eventually just grabbing the whole carton.

You see, developing a crush on one of Ten’s friends was never part of the plan. To be entirely honest, you had laid in bed the night Ten first moved in, tucked delightfully in your duvets wondering how in the name of God you were going to survive just a week without falling for him. However, as time went on, Ten’s fiery attitude and the fact that it seemed as if his friend Johnny was the one who in fact moved in based on the amount of time he spent in your shared apartment made it quite painless to get over the brief obsession in your newest flatmate.

And while Ten does have a mentality spicier than sriracha, you could not find it in yourself to complain when he brought not one but three friends over two months into moving in. By that time, you were fairly close to Johnny, considering he was knocking on the door almost every day (at this point, you had already settled on the idea that the two were one hundred and fifty percent dating, although you would never ask), but had zero ideas that Ten even had other friends, let alone met them.

And to be quite frank, you did not expect another two attractive men to enter your life. Jung Jaehyun, quite possibly the most angelic human you have ever met and Lee Taeyong, the greatest threat to your existence.

Perhaps you would not have fallen so quickly if it was not for the fact Ten was adamant on having the three over every fucking day. The first time you met was a terrifying case of embarrassment; you had been sleeping in when you woke to quite possibly the loudest noise to ever enter your eardrums. And so, with speed faster than light, you fled from bed with nothing but measly undergarments to see what sort of Satanic ritual Ten was pulling, only to find two strangers grimacing at an enormous box now flat on the floor.

It was painfully awkward, from the moment they noticed your ghastly presence in the doorway, to the realization they just dropped the new television Ten just bought, and finally to the fact you were practically naked in front of them. Without even a glance to their faces and with a noise akin to a frightened mouse caught in a trap you spun back behind the door, slammed it closed, and dove back into bed, shivering under the covers and planning your plan of survival that included never leaving the one hundred and twenty-seven square feet of your bedroom.

However, five hours later your stomach had a mind of its own.

6:07 PM - To Ten: i will literally do absolutely anything u want ever in ur life if u bring me cereal

6:07 PM - From Ten: No shot

6:07 PM - To Ten: oh my god ten please

6:08 PM - From Ten: I think my friends need an apology for seeing ur titties this morning🤧

6:08 PM - To Ten: please dont do this to me im so hungry i will literally do anything

6:08 PM - From Ten: Bj?

6:08 PM - To Ten: yes an infinite everyday

6:08 PM - From Ten: hmmmm

6:09 PM - From Ten: nah

6:09 PM - From Ten: come get food urself

With an infuriated, muffled scream into the downy pillow, you hurl your phone to the mattress before leaning up and mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of teasing from your sinister flatmate. Sighing obnoxiously as you exit your bedroom for the first time in almost twenty-four hours, absolutely nothing in the entire fucking universe could have prepared you enough for the unquestionably perfectly crafted specimen of Lee Taeyong.

Upon first glance, you barely noticed his figure hidden in the corner of the room, simply a monochrome silhouette concealed in the darkness. It was not until the hues flashing from the television lit up the dark space with brightly colored shades from a commercial did he come into view, seated on the farthest side of the sofa. He was like a single brilliant star on a sky of perfect midnight velvet, a star whose gravity stole the air from your lungs and left you breathless in the doorway upon first glance.

He was by far the most alluring human you have ever seen.

“Hey ___!” Ten suddenly shouted, cutting your train—or lack thereof—of thought into shreds and replacing it with your previous hatred. “Die,” was all you said, earning a chuckle from someone, although you could not seem to care to find out who and instead continued for the kitchen.

“How’s your day been?” He continued, yelling from the other room and you contemplated whacking the side of his head with a cast-iron pan. “Don’t talk to me,” you shouted back while rummaging through the refrigerator, only to pull out a container of half empty white rice left over two days prior and a gallon of Breyers Extra Creamy Vanilla from the freezer.

“Are you grumpy because of what happened this morning?” He singsongs, followed by just leave her alone from an unknown voice as you grab two spoons and slam the drawer close. He was truly pushing your buttons. Ice cream, rice, and spoons in hand you made way for the living room, paused midway, and mercilessly pegged one of the metal spoons at Ten.

It unexpectedly hit him square in the forehead, creating a chorus of oohs from the others and you beamed. “Don’t forget who owns this apartment, Chittaphon,” you sneered, gracing his friends with a beaming smile before spinning on your heels and marching back into your bedroom.

Needless to say, Ten found it in himself to never tread that deep into your patience again and even apologized the next morning. However, the image stuck in your brain of whoever sat in the corner of the living room could not go without questioning.

“Hey, who was over last night, by the way?” You asked as Ten took a seat on the couch beside you, flicking between different television channels. “Taeyong and Jaehyun.”

“Which one had the pink hair?”

Ten huffed, throwing in the towel when it came to choosing an adequate channel, “Taeyong, why?”

You shrugged, “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not dumb, c’mon. You think he’s cute?” More than cute.

“I only saw him for like, a millisecond,” you sniffed, waving him off and returning to your assignment. “Good news. They’re coming over again tonight!”

You groaned, throwing your head back onto the plush cushion and kneading your eyes with your knuckles. “I didn’t pick up enough groceries to feed a whole soccer team,” you sighed, lolling your head over to blink at him. “We have eggs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Tae will help you.”

And only after a proper introduction when Johnny, Jaehyun, and Taeyong arrived an hour later, you found yourself in the talons of a trap designed to drag you down into the depths of drool-worthy dreams and endless nights of “being in your bag.”

When it came time to cook a meal for the new clan you found ravaging your apartment, it took no less than half a minute for the cotton candy haired art-major (something you found out about him during some unacceptably adorable small talk) to jump up from his spot on the loveseat to aid you in any way possible.

“You like cooking?” He asked as you passed him another egg to be whisked, and you laughed heartily. “No, I just have to so I don’t blow all my money on takeout,” you explained, shrugged, and then followed with, “well, I don’t know. If I had time to cook out of enjoyment rather than survival, I would probably like it.”

“You should, it can be really relaxing,” he said, voice luxurious velvet as he poured the whisked eggs into the hot pan. “I don’t really know any recipes,” you shrugged, watching with quiet admiration as he went through what minimal spices you had while simultaneously folding the eggs into what would eventually be an omelet.

“Oh! I’ll have to show some you one day, then,” Taeyong grinned, and no matter how hard you tried you could not fight the rosy blush warming your features.

It was at this moment you realized you were royally fucked. There was absolutely no way of getting out of this one, you told yourself, and it was a constant reminder nearly every day when him, Johnny, and Jaehyun made their entrance. It was especially obvious on days he came over after class, the top few buttons of his shirt undone and revealing an inch too much skin that made your insides crawl, or the alone time you shared when he would help you in the kitchen, when one day over the course of three months you realized it had gone from two strangers forced to feed a group of helpless college kids to a pair naturally creating meals together, including a handful too many hip bumps, tickles, and any other type of physical touching to be categorized as just friends.

“No way,” you blew Ten off one morning when he asked if you thought you would ever date Taeyong, “he doesn’t like me like that.”

When all he did was roll his eyes, some part of you truly did drop with disappointment. For if he had said, “You should hear how he talks about you,” or, “You really are a dumb bitch,” then maybe you would have had some hope. But his lack of response confirmed your thoughts: Taeyong was an unattainable love.

Four months later, you and your now crimson haired friend dragged an absolutely wasted beyond repair Ten into his bedroom, flung him onto his mattress, removed his shoes, and patted him a good night.

“Sorry you had to deal with him,” you frowned, making way for the tiny kitchen and offering him a water in which he graciously took. Lord knows, if you had known he was coming, you would have been more prepared. And yet there you were, in nothing but an oversized tee shirt in front of the man who held all the stars in his irises and the very being of you in his hands.

“Don’t worry about it,” Taeyong smiled, clicked his tongue after taking a sip of water, “either way, I got to see my gi—you.”

Realizing his miniscule slip-up, Taeyong’s eyes grew the size of saucers, as did yours. My girl? Was that what he was going to say? You gulped, windpipe suddenly dryer than any desert on Earth, heart bumping frantically in your chest because holy shit, were you to blow it off or act on it?

Taeyong cleared his throat, and you did the same, an awkward tension suddenly filling the room thick like syrup and you were suffocating. “Anyway, I’m gonna head home. G’night, ___,” said Taeyong, offering a weak pat to your cheek. You watched him in silence as he left, and as soon as the door shut behind him the world came crashing down, the walls suddenly seemed to shrink and you hopped off the barstool in order to save yourself and sped to your bedroom in a rush of excitement and undeniable shock.

Only two days later you saw him again, a mini celebration in your apartment for the end of the semester with a bit too much soju involved. You found yourself curled into his side as the antics settled down further into the night, however alcohol still had your nerves on fire and you were hyperaware of Taeyong’s hand on what was exposed of your waist where your shirt had ridden up, long fingers drawing random patterns onto the bare skin and you could not breathe.

“___,” he said, you turned from the loud Raymour & Flanigan commercial blaring from the television to look at him, eyes wide and honest and his heart lurched. He suddenly could not find it in himself anymore to ask if he could stay the night and instead languidly studied your pretty features, face hovering closely above your own so you could feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks and he did not know what to do.

“Taeyong!”

Ten shouted and the two of you jerked back, the serene moment suddenly popped like a bubble and you wanted to scream at him for ruining the possibilities.

The exchange between Taeyong and Ten turned to nothing but marbles in your ears, the idea of kissing him much too loud and growing from a small mustard seed hidden within your brain to an enormous tree. Except now it was in bold font and flashing every color known to man because there was no way he was actually going to kiss you, right?

Fast forward nearly a month later and here you were, found in yet another treacherous predicament as the man of your dreams sat only feet away. The past twenty-seven days were the worst of your life, you tell yourself; for every time you close your eyes, all you can picture is all the diminutive moments shared with Taeyong since your almost-kiss, every insignificant touch, every drawn-out ogling, every unnecessary compliment that only increasing became worse because Ten told him that you liked him. And instead of bringing it up, too fearful to do so even though you are convinced he must like you back, you push it away, avoiding any possible interaction that will lead to your potential collapse.

And so, when a, “Hey, do you want any help?” erupts from just around the wall, you nearly drop an egg when every muscle in your body freezes because yes he’s here but no get away. “Um,” you sniff, glancing down at the dozen eggs and then back to the boy sporting hair the shade of oozy caramel, “sure.”

You go on in silence, continuously passing Taeyong an egg to be cracked and then throwing out the shells, and you are telling yourself oh, this isn’t too bad until he decides to break the relative silence, “I like you.” You blink, squint at the wall before moving around him to wash yoke from your hands, hearing the words from those damn kissable lips makes your legs burn and heart thump at a rate that definitely is not healthy. “I know,” you finally answer, voice clogged in the back of your throat so you continue, “I like you too.”

“I know,” says Taeyong once you look up at him and he bestows upon you a toothy grin.

“I’m glad that’s settled, then,” you laugh breathlessly, leaning into his side as he scrambles the eggs, cheek pressed against his bicep, “you’re bulking up, I like it.” Taeyong drops his head to look down and you glance up with a smile that cannot seem to leave your face. “Jaehyun said the same thing,” he grins, pulling his arm away so that you must pull away but, just as your lips start to pout, he pulls your body close and wraps his arms around your waist.

In a sudden surge of courage, you raise your hand to trail a finger down the razor-sharp edge of his jawline, something you have dreamed of doing for months and now that you are finally able to, you do not know whether you will ever be able to stop. “Wow,” you almost say, breathlessly infatuated by his presence, however, the sudden pressure of his lips upon yours steals your breath furthermore and suddenly everything is all him and you pull yourself closer, air hitching in your lungs, nerves fizzing with sparks, melding your mouth against his own as the anticipation of kissing him over the past months has reached its boiling point.

“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” Taeyong asks once you have pulled away, lips swollen red. “That’s the general plan, yes,” you laugh softly, planting a milder peck on the side of his mouth.

.

.

.

“Does anyone smell burning eggs?”

[worldofjuju-blog]

The Big D. Yes, Depression.

1175. That’s the number of Monday’s I’ve lived through. You’d think as humans trapped in the repetitive cycle of the same 7 days for all of eternity we’d be used to them by now, but in all honesty they never seem to get any easier. You know that typical ~Monday~ feeling of a grey cloud looming over your head, that rain-on-your-parade-don’t-want-to-leave-the-house kind of feeling? 

‘Yeah Juju... We all experience Monday’s’ I hear you scoff. 

But what if that grey cloud wasn’t just a grey cloud? What if it was a storm blasting thunder into your eardrums, beating your brain until its fuzzy and numb, striking your body with lightening and rain until it is broken and weak. What if the wind rippled over every inch of your skin, cackling at your misery ‘You think you can escape? Ha! Think again!’ What if that feeling lasted not just Monday, but your entire week, every week, until every week blurs into one big grey mess and you can barely remember what day it is and why would it even matter anyway? Each day brings the same rain, the same thunder, the same misery.

You watch others playing and laughing in the sunshine and long for that feeling of warmth and happiness, you copy their smiles trying to fool everyone into thinking you were also blessed with the light but inside you are cold and dark and sad and the light feels like its a million miles out of reach. You smile until you simply cant and all you can do is lie there whilst your brain turns black and infected and rotten.

I have lived in the heart of the storm and I’m definitely not in the clearing yet, but I am learning that the light is not as far away as it once seemed.

That’s why my first ~serious~ post is about The Big D. Yes, Depression.

Depression is described by the Mental Health Foundation as ‘a mental illness that causes people to experience depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration.’ This mental illness is something that affects my life and a huge number of my fellow Earthlings. It is in fact the most predominant mental health problem worldwide.

Now, I’m definitely not an expert - that’s why I’m not writing some la-di-da ‘cure yourself with vitamins and yoga’ kind of post. I’m purely expressing what The Big D means to me and attempting to educate others around me so they can understand the illness better. Below is a few (maybe helpful) tips for people struggling and those looking to support their depressed loved ones. *I cant speak for everyone with depression because everyone has different experiences, but this is the world of Juju so if these relate to you, cool! If not, also cool!*

DONT

- Act as if someone with depression is overreacting. ‘Cheer up’, 'just be more positive’, ‘smile love’, 'you don’t even have it that bad!’ Let me repeat this for the people in the back - depression is a mental disorder caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Lower-than-normal levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin can cause depression and, unlike Trump, neurotransmitters don’t discriminate against race, gender or economic wealth. Therefore, depression can happen to ANYONE.

- Call them ‘lazy’. Someone with depression may sleep a lot or get extremely tired from everyday tasks. In my worst days even getting out of bed seemed like climbing Everest and my arms felt simply too weak to even brush my teeth. There is scientific evidence that depression negatively affects psychomotor skills and can cause a lack of coordination, slowed speech, decreased movement, and impaired cognitive function. Thus, let sleeping lions be.

DO

- Understand that the mind and body are connected. ‘The brain, nervous system, immune systems, all the organs of our body and all the emotional responses we have, share a common chemical language and are constantly communicating with one another.’ Dr. James Gordon (founder of the Center for Mind-Body Medicine). This means people with depression are more likely to get sick, redefining that well known patronising phrase ‘it’s all in your head’. This connection does however, highlight the importance of looking after your body’s health which in turn can help your brain on the road to health too.

- Be patient! Praise yourself for going to that first therapy session, but recognise that this needs to be maintained in order to see progress. Mental illness is something to be managed, not necessarily cured. Of course cure would be fantastic but this is not realistic for everyone. A realistic goal is to learn to live with your illness one day at a time. Find the right medication and coping strategies that work for you. Who knows, one day you might not need them.

Hopefully you found this interesting and even a little bit informative. If you are currently in a storm, remember that the light is just behind the clouds. Reach out to someone you love and be kind to yourself.

[a-court-of-daydreamers]

Don’t Give Up (ACOTAR AU): Chapter 1

Acotar AU Fic based in highschool. Probably will be multi-POV to make it more interesting.

SUmmary: With Uni approaching quickly, the final year is upon us. And of course this does not come without drama, romances and lots and lots of alcohol. 

Let me know what you think, this is my first Fanfic :)

* I am from England so this is set in the English schools, during A-levels which is the next step up before we go to university/college, so this is 17-18. If any terms come up that I might need to explain, I doubt this will occur but still, I will explain them.

“Feyre, you don’t look too good, are you ok?” Andromache’s eyes are wide with worry. Her hazel eyes pass over my skin, and I shy against her gaze.

“Yeah I’m ok, just feeling a little queazy” I scrape my hair into a ponytail and scan the cafeteria. The noise is bubbling through me, pounding my eardrums, I turn to my friend.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yeah of course I did, I was just looking for someone.” I push my fork through the now cold beans and soggy chips on my plate.

“Looking for Tamlin you mean?” She snorts and looks to that certain person she always looks for.

“You should just talk to her you know, she won’t bite” I discard my fork and push my plate away in resignation. The food is barely edible hot, let alone when it’s cold.

“But she's so amazing and I’m me. She wouldn't want to talk to me and besides that is basically friendship goals look at them. Mor is beautiful and talented and head girl, her cousin, Rhysand, is tall dark and handsome, the definition of a heartthrob. He is also annoyingly smart and accompanies his cousin as head boy. Then you have by far the most muscular human beings I have ever seen, Azriel and Cassian. And finally the cherry on the dream team cake, you have Amren. Who can single handedly scare anyone in this town and send them sprinting in any direction but hers. It’s something about her eyes I think. So in response in to your question Feyre, my dear friend, they are the most intimidating group ever.” Andromache sighs and takes a bite out of her apple, I smile as the juice runs down her chin.

“Come on now Andromache, do you have no manners? Here have napkin” A deep voice rumbles from behind me. My friend goes bright red and quickly wipes the juice off of her chin. I turn round to defend her, the words rising up my throat are caught and pushed right back down. Tamlin is smirking, obviously enjoying my friends discomfort. I elbow him in the stomach.

“Tam was that necessary?” My tone is clipped as I turn back to the table. Andromache’s eyes are fixed on the table, I reach across the table and squeeze her hand. An irritated huff behind me reminds me of the presence of my boyfriend. I continue to ignore.

“Andy, you do have manners, don't listen to the insufferable arsehole behind me.” Andromache’s eyes sparkle as they find mine but find the table extremely interesting as a large hand grips my shoulder.

“Can we talk in private for a minute babe” His tone is curt. He is mad, I just embarrassed him in front of my friend. I stand and his hand tightens its grip, like he thinks I’ll make a run for it. Cute. I throw a sympathetic glance over my shoulder to Andy who is left at the table on her own.

Tamlin shuts the door to a desolate classroom. He pushes me against the wall. Hard. My head hits the wall with a dull thud. “Feyre. I don’t like your attitude. I didn't even say anything mean, have you taken something today to make you act like a complete bitch?” He growls out the words and shoves me against the wall again.

“I..I am sorry Tam, I shouldn't have said what I said.” I look at my feet as Tamlin’s hands press bruising marks into my forearms.

“That’s what I thought, you're coming to mine tonight, I’ll pick you up at five" He presses a rough kiss to my lips before storming out the classroom. I grasp the table and hold myself up while my legs are shaking. Blood bangs against my head and it takes everything I have to remain conscious. Breathing in deeply I walk out of the classroom, doing everything I can to convince myself Tamlin loves me and that he acted rationally because I was the one that angered him. But there is always that little nagging voice.

“Feyre! Where have you been! You weren't in chemistry or German. What happened?” Andromache jogs to catch up to me, her hair is falling out of her go to sleek ponytail and she looks quite frazzled.

“I.. I dont know, I just lost track of time I guess” I pull my jumper sleeves down, hiding the purple marks adorning my arms.

“Oh don’t mess with me, you never miss lessons. I covered for you by the way” Andy looks at me intensely, her soft eyes again hold worry. I look away and stop at the gate to my house.

“We can’t study tonight, I’m seeing Tam” My house looms over me and I can see Nesta’s face look through the curtains before disappearing into the kitchen. I turn to my best friend. Her slender face is painted with disappointment.

“Yeah ok, I was hoping we could go see a movie instead but don't worry about it, I’ll text you later Fey” She quickly turns and walks across the street to her own house. I wait until she has shut the door before entering my own.

“Hi Nesta, Hi Elain” I shout to the sisters who won't reply. I get a stiff grunt from Nesta who is shut in Elains room. Typical. The dynamic between the three of us has never been the same since mom died. Our dad works all the time so we rarely see him and he has his own city apartment to avoid the commute to work, just when groceries get delivered every week we know he hasn't forgotten us, but he doesn't even do that, all he does is pay for it, I place the order. Thanks Dad.

I flop down onto my bed which is adorned with stars, a deep midnight blue fabric holds the night stars on my bed. The mattress groans with my weight as I flick off my converse. I would like to say today has been different but it really hasn’t. The seconds tick by with a deafening thud as they make their way round my clock hung on my wall. One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds. As I stare at my ceiling, I listen. Just listen to the noises in our house. Nesta grumbling, Elain giggling. And my clock ticking. The doorbell cuts through the rhythmic silence. The door opens.

“FEYRE. TAMLIN IS HERE!” Nesta shouts to me as she walks up the stairs to her destination of Elains room. So much for sisterly confrontation. I force myself up and out of bed before slipping my feet into my worn converse. Tamlin is waiting. Must not keep him waiting. He is leaning against the doorframe looking at a childhood picture of myself and my sisters. He looks like the old Tamlin, that I loved. The carefree and beautiful boy, who would shower me with kisses, not bruises. The boy that would tell me I’m beautiful and perfect, not fat and I should go on a diet. The boy that I was in love with, not the boy I was scared of. Memories are painful. And no matter how hard I tell myself he is still in there, I never believe it. That Tamlin is gone. And I mourn him. I stand on the bottom step just watching him, savouring those few precious moments.And watch to boy disappear when he opens his mouth.

“Lets go” His voice is rough, like sandpaper as he turns and walks out of my door and gets in his car. I follow in a wordless walk and let the soft leather engulf me as I sit in his car.

He remains a deathly quiet for the whole ride, no matter the silence breaker question I ask, the response is a grunt. I give up on conversation as we pull up on his drive. No cars. We will be alone. My heart fights against my chest, wanting to break free and relieve me of my misery. I can feel his anger pooling off of him is scalding waves. He opens his front door for me before slamming it behind himself. I flinch and await the inevitable.

“Feyre, you really are a bitch sometimes. Like what in the world was lunch about. I told you, that you were not allowed to sit in there. Let alone with her.” His back is turned and the muscles taught.

“Andromache is my friend Tam, and I didn't have lunch today” Words barely escape my lips in a foreign voice. He turns to me. Looks me up and down. And laughs.

“I don’t think you really need lunch, look at you. Come on Fey, the star player on the football team can’t be seen with some fat ugly lump of a girl. You have to be joking me” Laughter leaves his mouth in rich patronising jolts. He stalks towards me and pin me up against the wall, both arms either side of my shoulders. I don't think I'm breathing as he starts to unbuckle my belt.

“No Tam, I don't want to” I push his hand away from my belt buckle.

“Do you think I give a shit about what you want? You're my girlfriend and I will tell you what to do” He grabs hold of my wrist and twists it. Hard. I whimper. Cold and vicious eyes capture mine. His hand connects with my cheekbone with a terrifying force, it throws my head to the side. He resume on my belt and forces rough unkind kisses up my neck. Closing my eyes, I wish I was at the movies with Andy or anywhere but here. Tamlin pushes my jeans down along with my underwear. Faintly I hear the sound of him unzipping his own jeans, Tears roll down my face scalding my skin, the atmosphere around me becomes thick and choking and the sounds dissipate into nothing. I feel nothing, I am nothing, I feel disgusting. Tamlin pounds inside me with excruciating force before finding his release and resting his forehead on my shoulder. He zips himself up before doing the same for me.

“Say something feyre” Hel ooks at me with uninterested eyes, the statement catches me off guard, so off guard I find words leaving my mouth before I can stop them. I watch his face twist into white hot rage and as his fist connects with my face.

“Fine I was about done with you anyway you little whore. If you don't want to be with me, find someone better, I dare you” He stalks off upstairs, slamming doors so hard the wood groans and leaving me sobbing in his hallway.

I managed to get a taxi back to my house, something as mundane as getting a taxi felt so bizarre. After what had just happened. I stumbled up the stairs, my whole body aching and protesting at the slightest movement. I fall onto my bed and sobbed until I couldn't cry anymore.

“Feyre, get up you are late for school”.

“I’m ill, so I'm not going in today” My voice is muffled by the duvet. Footsteps recede and my door slams. And there I am, totally alone, again. The silence is welcomed as I lie in my clothes from yesterday and avoid the population of the world. I don't think I could manage seeing anyone today, a nauseous feeling in my stomach builds up to my throat. I taste the bile stinging my tongue before I leap out of bed and sprint to my bathroom. Only just making it to the toilet bowl, I deposit the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl before flushing, changing into my pyjamas and falling into a restless sleep again. “Whoever is poking me, please go and fine something else to do with your time” I grumble to the owner of the finger jabbing my side incessantly.

“I will if you tell me what’s going on with you Fey, you're acting really strange” Andromache has been sat on my bed for the past twenty minutes in silence. Probably thinking through what she was going to say right down to the last word. She was like that, methodical and ordered, whereas I am wild and unruly, or was. I know what her reaction will be when she sees, it was the same as mine when I saw my face. Which is why I am putting it off for as long as possible. But Andromache is a tough one and refuses to leave me alone.

“Fine you want to know what is wrong, this is what is wrong”. I sit up and face her. Scarlet bruises mark my left cheekbone and right eye, so much I look like an overripe avocado. Bruises pepper up my arms and sit on my neck. Ugly and unforgiving. Her eyes widen considerably as she puts the pieces of the puzzle together and figures out what has been going on. Deep down I think she knew what was happening but didn't want to accept the fact that her best friend was being assaulted by the boy who was supposed to love her. Andromache is precious and needs to be protected, which is why I kept it from her. Or maybe I was ashamed of myself. For being a coward.

“Fey..” Her hand reaches out and then drops in the space between us.

“Don’t, I don't want to talk about it, we are over anyway. I somehow told him it was over after what happened and he saw red and the rest is history” Looking down at my bloodied and bruised knuckles, I wait for her reply. Her next words were cautious, like she knew the answer but wanted me to deny her beliefs. “What happened?”.

“I think you know what happened” I mumble, I cross my arms over my chest and look out the window. Despite my mood, the sun is out and the birds are singing. How ironic. Andromache launches herself onto me and collects me in a bone crushing hug. I hear her sniffle in my ear and know she is crying, slowly I prise my arms from my stomach and wrap them around my friend. And I too cry. And cry. And cry. Until I have no tears left.

“You can press charges, you should press charges, what he has done is illegal. You said no.”

“I know but I don't want too” The cotton of her blue shirt is wet from my tears and a fruity aroma comes through my nose. “Are you wearing perfume? You never wear perfume!” I pull back and look at my friend closely. She is the same Andromache, but different. The same shoulder length auburn hair, the same freckles dotted on her nose and cheeks. She’s wearing makeup. Not much but noticeable to me, a lick of mascara and a hint of pink lipstick. “Why are you wearing make up Andy?” My eyes narrow, making her fidget. She hasn't told me something.

“Ugh well when Tamlin took you off last lunch, funny thing is Mor came and sat down. Like she sat down next to me. I was so dumbstruck the she was speaking to me of all people. But she was so funny and genuinely wanted to talk to me. So we were talking and we talked about you as well. And we ended up exchanging numbers and have been texting since and I wanted to tell you yesterday on the walk home but you didn't meet me in our usual spot and then you bailed on me and then Mor texted me saying do you want to go for dinner? So we did and had an amazing time. I also sat with her and her friends because you were ill. They all asked about you and they were so funny”. Her cheeks are flushed and her chest movements are rapid. I smile softly.

“Is that all?” I tease. She smiles shyly. “Oh you kissed didn't you!” I jump up and clap. I pull Andy into a hug as my laughter bubbles out of me. “Did you kiss a girl and like it?” I smirk.

“Alright Katy Perry pipe down. Yeah it was nice, she's invited me to sit with them again tomorrow, but only if you want to of course” Andy looks at me and her gaze is so pleading and worried i’ll say no, I laugh.

“Of course, I don't mind silly”.

“By the way I am always here for when you want to talk about what happened” An instance is all that is needed to shatter the light hearted mood and turn it into a serious one. I nod and swallow the unshed tears pushing at the back of my eyes.

“Andromache, it’s nice to see you again, I see you brought a friend” Mor chirps as my friend slides into the chair next to her.  

“This is Feyre, I told you about her yesterday, she was ill” Andy retrieves her apple from bag and bites into it.

“OH you're Tamlin’s girlfriend right?” Mor smiles at me, a smile that makes your insides go all warm. I understand why Andy is infatuated with her.

“Um ex. But yeah thats me” I sit next to Andy while Mor struggles with words. My face has been covered in so much foundation to cover the intensity of the bruises, you could scrap it off with a spoon it’s so thick. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Scanning Mor’s face quickly she hasn't noticed the slight blue tinge to my skin despite the mountains of layers of foundation upon my face.

“Sorry about that, I haven't heard the news yet, I have been quite busy, I’m sure the others won’t be so rude when they get here, I just have a big mouth with no filter, like sometimes I wonder how I still have friends” More laughs and sends her blonde curled hair bouncing. Her eyes meet Andy’s and sparkle. I turn away from their private moment and am greeted with a massive figure.

“Hi I’m Cassian, You must be Feyre. We’ve heard a lot about you” Cassian smirks down at me before sitting in the chair next to me.

“All good I hope” Nervous chuckles escape from me as I stab the lettuce in my plastic lunchbox.

“Oh of course” Cassians eyes crinkle as his smile reaches his eyes. “That’s Azriel by the way” He points behind him to a slightly slimmer built boy but no less muscular. How long has he been there? I didn't even notice him sit down. Azriel tilts his head towards me with a small smile. “So Feyre, where were you yesterday? Stealing sweets from babies or kicking puppies?” Cassian’s smile is mischievous. I laugh.

“Well you know I am partial to kicking puppies when I am bunking off school but when I’m ill I do prefer to steal sweets from babies because it has more benefits”

“I like you Feyre, you're funny” Cassian bellows laughter and even the stoic Azriel cracks a smile.

“Carfeul Cass, you’ll catch flies”

“Oh dear Amren, You always grace my life with your kind words” A sarcastic smile is thrown in the small girls direction. Amren responds by putting her middle finger up at Cassain. He mocks hurt at this gesture.

“Feyre, I’m Amren, sadly you had the misfortune of meeting this Neanderthal and his quiet companion who keeps much better company. And of course our ever talkative Morrigan”. Her silver eyes watch me intensely before turning to greet Mor and Andromache, clearly bored of the conversation. OK…..

“Ah there you are, I’ve been looking forward to meeting the famous Feyre” A rich voice purrs from behind me. 

[riobastayem-blog]

Dream Diary 2

A lot of my dreams are about sex or perverted things. Which is not surprising since I am a young virgin man and these are the dreams I obviously enjoy the most. But sometimes sex is not all that happens. The year is probably 1920 or whenever there were a lot of gangs and mafias around. That´s right. I am part of a mafia gang. I am not very high up but my ambitions are. One day I will have my own gang. Maybe even lead this one. Until then I have to do some dirty work. But I don´t mind that. It makes this life less boring.  Like every good criminal organisation our enemies are not only the police but also other gangs. And one of them has wronged us. Badly. I don´t know what they did. And I do not care. The boss said I had to kill some thugs so I obey. With my car that will be considered vintage in 80 years I arrive at the adress I got. I turn the radio off and get out of the car. I look around while straightening my suit jacket. Nobody is around. Everyone is at work. I like to do my killings while there is still light outside. People don´t expect that.  I check the weapons in my pockets. A pistol with one spare magazine and a medium large knife. My confidence thinks I do not need more than that.  I head to the building across the street and walk in like I own the place.  The door was unlocked so why not. Careless thugs I think to myself.  The hall is dark and quiet. I walk upstairs. Another quiet hallway but this time a lot of light shines through a narrow window. I walk up to the window and close the curtains. Wouldn´t want anyone to see me, would we? I take out my pistol and the cardboard note I was given. Room 7.  Standing in front of the door to room 7 I take a deep breath and circle my head to ease the muscles in my neck. Showtime. I kick down the door and immediatly fire my pistol into the room.  Luckily I actually hit someone in the chest. He falls to the ground and his compadres yell and storm with drawn weapons in my direction. Man that would have been awkward if I had been given the wrong room number and just gunned down some 60 year old granny. The first of the other thugs enters the room and prepares to shoot at me.  I throw the cardboard note at his hand the the gun cocks to the side. I shoot him between the eyes and jump at his falling body to use him as a shield against the next guy. But that one holds a shotgun and because I am not confident in the thickness of my meat shield I push the dead man against the alive man. The dead man and the alive mans shotgun drop to the ground. That alive idiot actually tries to pick up his weapon but I shoot him in his reaching hand and then his screaming open mouth. The alive man is now dead as well.  Nobody else enters the room so I go into the next. But before I can take my first step into the hallway a baseball bat hits my face. One of these thugs not only tried to ambush me but also succeeded.  I drop my gun. Idiot. Always hold onto your weapon no matter what. The third man, a bulky dude, swings his bat at me again. Are all these guys stupid? Why dont you shoot me with one of the guns on the floor? I was stunned long enough.  I catch the bat with my left hand but didn´t expect him to be so strong. I get down on one knee and that idiot shows his teeth with an evil smile.  He wants to swing at me for a third time but my hand still holds the tip of the bat.  He tries to jerk the bat out of my hand and I use the help of his strength to get back on my feet. I let go of the bat and before he can swing at me again I pull out my knife and ram it into his throat. As he drops to the floor I pick up my pistol. The information I was given stated that there are 5 people in this apartment but so far I only killed 4. Expecting another ambush I sprint and jump through the doorway low enough to evade another bat to the head. I land hard on the floor and quickly turn around to shoot at whoever my second ambusher would be. But nobody lurks in either side of the doorway. Maybe the last one is hiding.  Since I have devastated the kitchen / dining room the only ones left are the bathroom and the bedroom. Killing someone on the toilet has always been a dream of mine so I check the bathroom but it is empty. That means the last thug has to be either in the bedroom or out getting groceries.  I´m hoping for the former. I kick open the bedroom door and have to hold myself back not to shoot. The last person is not another thug. It´s a woman. A beautiful woman. Not saying that women can´t be thugs but well. Wearing a red long dress and no shoes she is lying on the bed with lustful eyes. But behind the lust I can see her fear. I mean, who wouldn´t be afraid in this situation?  Can I help you? She whispers trying to sound confident. I lower my gun and she seems to relax a bit. You one of them? I ask. She nods. No use in denying. I nod as well and then put my gun away. She looks at me puzzled. I´ll take out the trash first. I explain. And then we will see what to do about you. Dont try anything funny. Except if it is an actual joke.  My attempt to lighten the mood falls flat. Typical. After I have disposed of the bodies I return to the bedroom. She is still there. So what now? She asks.  I sigh.  How about we fuck and then see where things go? To my surprise she agrees. After an intense and totally appropriate time of sexual intercourse during which she does not try to kill me like some other former partners of mine I stand again dressed in front of the bed. She helps me button my shirt and I say. You should lay low now. I won´t kill you but someone else might. Maybe just stay here and I come visit again. She laughs and I smile. Finally. And this turns out to be the beginning of a beautiful love story. She acually stays in the apartment and after I repaired the damage the thugs - not me - caused we have a very loving relationship for a month or so.  Not only is she hot but smart as well as I assume from the heap of books she reads while I am not inside her. And on our one month anniversary she gifts me her favorite book. I thank her with a big kiss.  Suddenly someone knocks on the door. Who could that be? A neighbour? Someone the boss sent to give me my next assignment? I open the door and before my eyes have a chance to see who is there I receive a massive hit on the head and the sky blackens.  Bound and broken I wake up. I am on my knees in the dining room and 4 men are standing in front of me. They are thugs from our rival gang. Good job. Says one of them to someone behind me. My girlfriend walks into my view. My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach. I stare in disbelief as she attempts to leave the room without any further explanation. But what is there to explain? I killed her friends and she used me while planning my death all this time. I shout after her but she does not turn around. And then she is gone. Look at him. He really thought they had something serious. Says a thug and the others laugh. I dont feel like laughing. One of them walks up to me playing with a crowbar in his hands. We´re gonna ask you some questions now and you´re gonna answer them. And then we´ll kill you. Sounds like a plan. I spit out some blood as he hits me with the crowbar across the face. Shut up! How am I gonna answer your questions if I shut up? His answer is a kick to my stomach. My face hits the ground as the air leaves my lungs. Get up!  I don´t get back up. He hits my back with the crowbar.  I don´t get back up. He grabs my hair and pulls me up.  His face close to mine. Now listen here- Before he can finish his sentence my face snaps forward and I bite into his nose. Blood fills my mouth and his screams penetrate my eardrums.  Let goooo! He cries. I hear someone else behind me and throw myself back hitting the man the second man in the stomach with my head. He staggers to the side and I use this opportunity to get on my feet and run into the bedroom. One of the men runs after me while the other one tends to the guy with the bleeding nose. Idiots never change. I think.  They didn´t even bind my hands behind my back but in front. I turn around and swing my bound fists at the surprised guys chin. He drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I get the knife in the bedroom and cut off the ropes around my hands.But I dont have time to rub my wrists because one of the thugs fires his machine gun through the whole apartment. I fall to the ground and roll und ther bed. Fuck these cheap walls. Can´t even stop a bullet. The fire stops and I roll up from under the bed and grap my pistol. That bastard put holes in all of our furniture. But I guess there is no we anymore. Anger pumps through my heart and I run back into the hallway.  The thug with the machine gun jerks back as he sees me. He hasn´t finished reloading yet. And as his brain tries to decide whether he should continue or drop it and fight me, my knife pierces through his left eye. I yank the knife out of his skull and duck as another thug runs at me swinging his crowbar. After repeatedly stapping him in the chest the swinging stops. Two guys left. But they are not as dumb as the others. As soon as I enter the kitchen they fire at me from behind the tipped over dining table. I jump back just in time to avoid the bullets. I wish I had a grenade. But then my eyes wander to the two dead thugs on the ground and I get an idea. I lift the bulky dude up on his dead feet and hold him in front of me. If there is a time for a meatshield it is now. Screaming like a maniac I press forward my blade in one hand and my shield in the other. The two surviving thugs fire everything they have at me but my shield does not break. As I hear the clicking of the ejecting magazines I drop my shield and jump over the table bringing down my wrath in form of a knife to the heart on one of them. The last guy hits me in the head with the bottom of his gun and my view fades for a moment then I let go of my knife, turn around, evade the next swing and bring my hands around his neck. Panic wells up in his eyes as he tries to kick and hit me to free himself. But I don´t even feel it anymore. His eyes roll upwards and his body shivers one last time. Then he is dead too. Air leaves my mouth. It feels like I was holding my breath for an eternity. I stand up and look upon the destruction. Fuck. FUCK. My fist slams into the wall but this time I feel the pain. On the ground I see the book. Her favorite book she gave me as a present just before my world broke apart. I really loved her but apparently she did not love me. That pain stings more than all of my bruises and wounds I have ever had combined. I look at the door. And then I woke up. So this one was a bit longer. Of course I tried to make it a bit more appealing to read but most of what I wrote happened in my dream.  That one was actually pretty awesome and after I woke up I knew I just had to always remember it. I also can imagine why I dreamt this. At least partially. I had this dream shortly after I saw the Mafia III trailer. But why there was that love story and all that I have no clue.

[vclyrias]

tag game

thank youuu @wickedraco​ for tagging me! :*

Rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST

drink - monster energy drink

phone call - my mom or my brother i think!

text message - my best friend

song you listened to - “california dreamin’” by the mamas and the papas

time you cried - lol like 20 minutes ago, it was a good cry tho! was watching a movie

HAVE YOU EVER

hated someone twice - don’t really get the question but sure, i’ve hated (and still do) some people

kissed someone and regretted it - probably but i don’t wanna fret on it, it’s not like i can change it ya know?

been cheated on - no

lost someone special - yes, my grandparents and two of my cats

been depressed - yes

gotten drunk and thrown up - a couple of times and it’s never fun

made new friends - yes, and i’m really surprised bc introversion 101 is my specialty

fallen out of love - more kinda forced myself out of it but yeah

laughed until you cried - yes and it’s the best feeling!

found out someone was talking about you - lol im literally clueless about everything in my general vicinity

met someone who changed you - yes i think so

found out who your friends are - yeah but nothing dramatic, we just grew apart 

kissed someone from your facebook list - more like kissed someone and THEN added them to my fb?

kissed a stranger - yes

drank hard liquor - does it still count if its in sugary drinks

lost glasses or contact lenses - nope bc i got 20/20 vision *sunglasses emoji*

turned someone down - yes

sex on a first date - never really went on a traditional date, but i’ve had sex on the first meeting

broken someone’s heart - pretty sure of it

had your heart broken -  yes

been arrested - nope!

cried when someone died - yes

fallen for a friend - nope and thank gud

kissed on a first date - once again not dates but yes

GENERAL

list 3 favourite colors - pink, white, deep red

how many facebook friends do you know irl - a majority

do you have any pets - a kitty!

do you want to change your name - i really wanted to when i was younger but now i really like my name

what time did you wake up - ca 9.30/45

what were you watching at midnight - stranger things and youtube videos

name something you cant wait for - american gods season 2!!!!! 

when was the last time you saw your mum - around an hour ago when she said goodnight

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life - most of the things i can change, i just need to get my act together. but probably my mental health issues, my weight and my living situation

what are you listening to right now - changing between “california dreamin’” and “amelia” by skott 

have you ever talked to a person named Tom - yes

something that is getting on your nerves right now - this weird pre-menstrual feeling i get bc of my pmdd

most visited website - tumblr, youtube and a swedish gardening blog (dont judge me)

mole/s - all ovah my bawdy buddy

mark/s - stretch marks on my thighs and tummy, some scratches on my upper arms and paled scars on my knees  

childhood dream - to have lots of cats and be a writer or a journalist

do you have a crush on someone - not rn and i’m kinda missing it tbh?

what do you like about yourself - that i almost always try to see both sides of an argument/conflict, my eye color, that my nails grow out pretty quickly and my morals

piercing/s - three

blood type - no idea and i really want to know! i’ve signed up as a blood donor so i should be knowing it soon

nickname - manda, mandis 

relationship status - singular

zodiac sign - capricorn

pronouns - she/her

favourite tv show - izombie, the handmaid’s tale, the last airbender, westworld, american gods  

tattoo/s - three and planning more :D

right or left hand -  right

surgery: my eardrums (was half deaf as a kid) and my wrist

hair dyed in a different colour - blonde, black, brown, reddish-brown, light brown, red highlights, purple, blue. right now i’m growing it out tho!

sport - swimming and soccer

vacation - greece two times, croatia, cyprus, turkey, rome and london

current and all-time best friend name - she wanna be incognito ;)

eye colour - light blue

favourite movie - several but always down to watch the winter soldier, arrival, lotr and kubo and the two strings 

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses - hugs bc they’re more versatile (platonic and romantic) but damn i miss kisses

lips or eyes - bothhh but im a sucker for eyes even tho the mouth is probably more important for the structure of the face

shorter or taller - taller

nice arms or stomach - nice arms i think

sensitive or loud - sensitive

hook up or relationship -  relationship, but i wouldn’t mind either

troublemaker or hesitant - a good mixture of both?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself - i have my good days

miracles - not really

love at first sight - love no, attraction yes

santa claus - when i was a smol child

i’m tagging @princessdany, @cherylpetsch, @lordrenly, @rememberedbystardust, @lyannastvrq, @soldierpeetamellark, @burdenedwithgloriousness, @dianacprince, @aryaes, @chirrrutt and if you dont wanna do it you don’t have to! :*  

[shovelthefries]

🅰️ll 🅾️f theⓂ️

1: Namealex2: Agetwenty one pilots minus three3: 3 Fearshaving to install ubunturunning out of gaseverything on my hard drive getting corrupted, because that would mean reinstalling ubuntu 4: 3 things I lovedogs, drones, and bikes!5: 4 turns onconfidence, really good hair, a ticket to PyCon 2018, mccree6: 4 turns offwhen someone presses the power button again, all four of them7: My best friendhigh exarch turalyon8: Sexual orientationbi(cycle)9: My best first datewhat counts as a date10: How tall am Ifive even, i'm pretty useful in the home depot lumber section11: What do I missbeing in the robotics shop12: What time were I born6:12 pm, an unholy number 13: Favorite colorbloo14: Do I have a crushi think so 15: Favorite quote"everything dies, baby that's a factbut maybe everything that dies some day comes back"16: Favorite placeanywhere that i can pass out on17: Favorite foodnoodles, but also i had a really good brisket sandwich at my dad's place today it was like a healthy burger18: Do I use sarcasmno not at all19: What am I listening to right nowatlantic city by bruce springsteen the boss20: First thing I notice in new personif i can take them in a fight 21: Shoe sizesix but if you pay me, i can go up to a twelve 22: Eye colorbrown, apparently one that is abnormal for asians23: Hair colormidnight caramel24: Favorite style of clothingmessy, it's actually the new fad25: Ever done a prank call?no because i lose my shit in the first five seconds27: Meaning behind my URLits what i called the cheval de fries defense in 2016 because I'm Funny28: Favorite movieterminator 2 probably29: Favorite songthunder road but if it wasn't springsteen i'd probably say wish you were here/the final cut by pink floyd or read my mind by the killers. but listen that's like making me choose between my children30: Favorite banduGH what did I just say, pink floyd is up there i guess31: How I feel right nowtired, headachey, racing against hypothetical julia in answering this ask32: Someone I lovealleria windrunner33: My current relationship statustaken like bacon34: My relationship with my parentsits gotten better for sure35: Favorite holidayfourth of july because its warm36: Tattoos and piercing i havei'm bare and unstabbed37: Tattoos and piercing i wanti probably want a tattoo but idk what38: The reason I joined Tumblrprobably pjo fanart39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?well i certainly don't hate them40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i get steaks, uchicago kid tells me good night after his last lame bot game of league41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?don't think i've kissed joseph42: When did I last hold hands?today, a few hours ago43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?not long if you don't count actually getting up44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?what is hair45: Where am I right now?my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?either emma or art major au hanzo 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?well i like having working eardrums 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?hell yeah i do49: Am I excited for anything?really excited to go to work and have no one be there tomorrow50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?yeah 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?i'm always wearing a fake smile52: When was the last time I hugged someone?probably today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?depends on the situation 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?probably not i'd cut it off by now55: What is something I disliked about today?the rain was being a dickhole56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?i think we already know the answer57: What do I think about most?what i should be doing58: What’s my strangest talent?i have no talents 59: Do I have any strange phobias?yeah 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i prefer to eat the camera61: What was the last lie I told?"dark souls is a good game"62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i hear carrier pigeons are making a comeback63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts? possible. aliens? yeah.64: Do I believe in magic?yeah i exist65: Do I believe in luck?no but my moms superstitions has made me paranoid of it66: What's the weather like right now?shitty and wet 67: What was the last book I've read?inheritance, again68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?not really69: Do I have any nicknames?alex is a particularly infamous one70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?either when i burned myself or when i found out my ubuntu installation didn't come with backlights71: Do I spend money or save it?hmmmmmm72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?i can touch my lip with my tongue 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?yeah there's my pink work shirt74: Favorite animal?tiger75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?probably vacuuming76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Adobe Experience Manager77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?born to run 78: How can you win my heart?tolerate me79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?"please rez me"80: What is my favorite word?pachyderm81: My top 5 blogs on tumblruh i dont even know the blog names anymore 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?good night i am sleepy83: Do I have any relatives in jail?probably some in china84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?flying like a stealth drone, so that i go at supersonic speeds and i'm also invisible85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?"have you been giving it your all"86: What is my current desktop picture?an alliance human and an orc duking it out87: Had sex?ye88: Bought condoms?no89: Gotten pregnant?pregnant with my dreams!!90: Failed a class?not officially91: Kissed a boy?almost92: Kissed a girl?i believe so93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?its happened i think94: Had job?many job95: Left the house without my wallet?not recently since i got my license96: Bullied someone on the internet?i don't have the time for that97: Had sex in public?nope98: Played on a sports team?robotics is a SPORT FOR THE MIND99: Smoked weed?first where would i get it100: Did drugs?nop101: Smoked cigarettes?n o p102: Drank alcohol?the ask meme got me there, yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?i don't think i could live104: Been overweight?no105: Been underweight?yeah 106: Been to a wedding?no 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?try ten hours108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?hm no109: Been outside my home country?yes #worldtraveler110: Gotten my heart broken?when the assassins creed revelations trailer came out and it ends with ezio's aged face being revealed i started crying111: Been to a professional sports game?that's too much112: Broken a bone?the bone that held my happiness113: Cut myself?nopee114: Been to prom?i had a date with my calculus workbook 115: Been in airplane?yes unfortunately 116: Fly by helicopter?no but it will happen117: What concerts have I been to?none concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?hm idk119: Learned another language?yeah technically 120: Wore make up?i prefer my ugly vanilla look thank you very much121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?i guess yeah 122: Had oral sex?never performed it 123: Dyed my hair?like a phoenix, and then a passionate robotics member124: Voted in a presidential election?i was basically a baby in the eyes of the law before i could125: Rode in an ambulance?noooo126: Had a surgery?once as a baby, now as a mature adult who needed their wisdom teeth taken out127: Met someone famous?hell ye128: Stalked someone on a social network?nichols before i became friends with him129: Peed outside?very likely130: Been fishing?yeah it was fun131: Helped with charity?yeeee132: Been rejected by a crush?this implies that i take initiative133: Broken a mirror?twice due to somersaults134: What do I want for birthday?a cd with all my spotify music burned onto it