#my dog who was really my best friend passed away in april

[angelkitty54]

So, I was rewatching some God of War 4 playthroughs and was suddenly hit with another rottmnt AU idea (coz I've got turtle brain right now I guess). Also inspired by all the different Separated AU art 'n' stuff floating around. So yeah, this be a separated au.

Right so! Splinter manages to escape Draxum's lab with all 4 turtles, but a couple of years later, when the boys are still toddlers, he is found and attacked (probably by the Foot? Maybe also by Big Mamas people? IDK yet) and during all the chaos the boys are lost/stolen. The only one he was able to save is Leo.

Raph somehow ends up underground, stumbling into the Hidden City where he wanders the streets homeless for a time before being found by Big Mama. Savage Raph be fighting in the Battle Nexus.

Mikey is taken by the Foot and raised to be an assassin (maybe trained under Tiger Claw?) joining their quest to resurrect the Shredder.

Donnie is swept away down a storm drain and believed to have drowned. But somehow or another (haven't fully figured it out yet) ends up as part of the Purple Dragons gang. Except they're a proper gang here and not just a small group of delinquent teens.

Thing is, during those first few years together, Splinter encountered and eventually befriended a young woman by the name of Tang Shen. Having recently lost her own baby girl, she found comfort in helping Splinter with his own children. Tho she did not know what they really were for a long time, as he kept his distance and she turned a blind eye to anything strange (New York, what a town, amiright?). Eventually she did find out tho, but by then they had gotten to be close friends despite everything.

After the attack, a badly injured Splinter went to Tang Shen for help. Realising they were still being hunted, Splinter decided to leave in order to protect his one remaining son, but Tang Shen insisted on staying with them. The three ultimately end up leaving the city altogether and moving out to a property on in the country. Which is how Leo comes to grow up in a relatively isolated cabin in the woods.

At first Splinter made many trips back to search for his lost sons, but as time passed without any sign of them, he eventually gave up hope. Focusing instead on keeping his one remaining son safe. Tang Shen however always maintained the hope that they would all be reunited one day.

Despite everything they had lost, the three did live happily together for many years. Until Leo was about 10-11 years old and Tang Shen fell sick and never recovered. Losing her was a heavy blow for father and son. Things taking a turn for the worst when their enemies finally track them down shortly thereafter. This be the part where I picture Splinter fighting off the foot soldiers all Dad of War style like: "LEAVE. MY. HOME!!!"

With their home no longer safe they are forced to gather up what they can and leave. This is when Leo discovers one last gift for him among Tang Shen's belongings. Matching scarves for him and brothers, each with their names embroidered on them, and a journal. Turns out Tang Shen had been investigating the other's whereabouts of her own, and tho she had no definitive proof, she had found some leads. The journal had all her findings as well as a message for Leo that inspires him to try and find his long lost brothers and reunite his broken family.

Convincing Splinter that the city would be the best place to hide the pair finally return to New York, making their new home hidden away in the sewers. Knowing his overprotective father would freak if he knew what he was doing, Leo begins his own investigations in secret, picking up where Tang Shen left off. During his search he encounters and befriends April who joins him on his quest. And 2 years or so later, the pair accidentally stumble across what they'll soon come to find is their biggest lead yet: a strange blue and yellow dog thingy...

[hiddlesdarlinggabrielsangel]

This is pretty raw, and a lot longer than I expected but I think I needed to let it out. If you’re currently grieving a pet, this might be too much to read.

My dog passed away this past Saturday morning.

I’ve been in shock ever since and absolutely devastated. My appetite is gone and I’m nauseous and I’m realizing that even though my mom had a similar bond to Ivy, her way of grieving is very different, and I just feel alone.

While Ivy lived a wonderful life of 10 years, longer than many dogs get, she seemed to be doing fine until literally midday on that Friday and we had no idea it was something that would ultimately take her life. We’re struggling with all the “what-ifs” and “if only” thoughts but even though we don’t know for sure, we suspect the cancer we had removed a year ago had come back and even though we get her checked out routinely, we just didn’t catch it in time. The emergency vets said that it was as though her body was attacking itself. It’s just hard because we have her father from the breeder who literally turned 13 the day after she died, the day we buried her. We also still keep in touch with the breeder and she’s told us that HIS father is still alive. So, it was just so unexpected. And Zac, her dad, doesn’t even seem to be registering the fact that she’s gone. We showed her to him when we brought her home, but he barely noticed and just laid down next to her for a second before getting up and wandering off. He doesn’t have the best eyesight and maybe what they did to her body made her smell different, but I thought there would have been some recognition. But he just sort of moved on like nothing happened. Maybe he just understands better than we humans do that death is a part of life, even for his own daughter, but when she was alive he did look after her in his way. I just hope he doesn’t wake up one day looking around for her but we did all we could do.

I didn’t expect to get into the actual event but to be honest, it helped to type it out. The thing is, while I’m absolutely devastated right now, it’s not like I was on top of the world before she passed. Three years before we got her as a puppy in 2014, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. The year I graduated college, 2014, I got a job as a nanny for an emotionally abusive family (which I thankfully left after 3 months but was still a bit traumatized). I had a second surgery for endometriosis in 2015 and was prescribed depo provera which made my depression and anxiety way worse than it already was. I got a job as a photographer taking photos for church directories which was insane (12-17 hour days, no breaks worked in, at least 2-4 hour drives, many kind people but enough rude people to make it miserable), I developed panic attacks and took a medical leave of absence (ultimately left), was judged by so-called friends, went through a time where I couldn’t work because I didn’t know enough about what would trigger these panic attacks, isolated myself from my friend group (hardly any of whom were reaching out anymore anyway), and realized in early 2017 that most of those “friends” who did reach out weren’t really my friends, and between April 2016 - Sept 2017, my “job” (because I didn’t have a real, paying one) was to work on myself in individual and group therapy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m very grateful for both, but when your job becomes analyzing what’s wrong with you, or why you do what you do so you can stop/change/adjust constantly, it gets to be a bit much. Then I got a retail job in Sept 2017 where I dealt with a narcissist coworker. I also started getting migraines at that job in 2018. Sometime in 2018, my brother met his now wife who has never liked us because we don’t fit in to her “fantasy” (not confirmed, but my theory). When we first met, she told my brother I was “too nice” and “not candid enough”. We have done and continue to do everything we can to be welcoming and she’s nothing but disrespectful to all of us. She even sent something to members of her own family recently that they have been very hurt by. Anyway, in July of 2019, I briefly got a job canvassing neighborhoods for a construction company until I had an 8-hour long panic attack. Needless to say, I did not stay there. Feeling ashamed and hopeless, I made a plan to take my own life. My dad interrupted me as I was writing the suicide note, and obviously I’m still here. I got another job the following week, one that I’m still at, but it didn’t come without its hiccups. A man who yelled at me and who I still have to set boundaries with nearly five years later. Another man who acted inappropriately but ultimately he was set straight. As you can imagine, my brother’s girlfriend/fiancée/wife made our lives difficult and did everything she could (and succeeded a long time ago) to separate him from his family who he seemed to be so close to before (I used to think of him as my best friend). In the summer of 2020, I started having hypnopompic hallucinations where I’d wake up physically but I would still see things as though I was in a dream state which freaked me out. In December of 2020, I made a total of 6 batches of cookies, rolled out, embossed, all the works for literally hundreds of cookies, and that triggered an underlying back issue from carrying too much weight in my backpack slung over only one shoulder in college. This resulted in me going to the chiropractor, getting massages, and as the back issue was finally working itself out, it felt as though it dispersed all that pain and more to the rest of my body. I won’t go into it because that would be a post somehow longer than this, but about a year later after having had a third surgery for endometriosis in 2021, seeing a gastroenterologist, worrying if I was having seizures, and finally seeing a neurologist, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2022. I found out my uncle had been diagnosed with cancer earlier that year too, a sarcoma. He passed away in May.

Around a month later, my mom, a non-smoker, was diagnosed with a rare type of non-small cell lung cancer. It’s called ROS1 and it’s very aggressive. Not only that, but it does not go into remission; my mom will have this cancer for the rest of her life. Already, she’s gone through two treatments, and the when we suspected the trial she was on wasn’t working anymore because of a mass they found in her right lung, she had a biopsy done in December right before New Years, and in the middle of it, she had heart failure. Thankfully, they revived her and she’s ok. At first they thought it was a heart attack but her arteries were clear. They said it was a case of broken heart syndrome. Her heart has recovered fully since then, but she was taken off the trial, and after briefly trying another targeted treatment, she’s now on chemotherapy.

After experiencing a traumatic event with my brother and sister-in-law back in December of 2023, my family hosted a baby shower for them at our house earlier this month. I’ve been conflicted about how I feel about the coming of this child. I have been overwhelmed about my mom and the side effects she’s been having from the chemo along with the other drug that they’re giving her for the first 4 rounds. My dad caught pneumonia a few days before Ivy passed. I was already overwhelmed.

I was almost always already overwhelmed. But through all of the above, except those first 3 years of endo, I had Ivy. I could go to her. I could play with her. I could pet her. I could cuddle her. Or I could just watch tv or be on my phone but she always had a way of knowing when I’m sad or upset and needed her there. And I think she just genuinely wanted to be with me whether it was on the couch, on the floor, or even upstairs.

That’s part of why this is so hard. It’s ALL of these current things, plus Ivy. Ivy made it bearable. I know I’m not always going to feel this way, but I think I need to get it out somewhere. While I know that I will move on and live my life through the good and the bad… part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want to face life without Ivy. I don’t want to have people come into my life and not be able to introduce them to my “buddy”. I know how that sounds. And again, I know I won’t always feel that way, but the thing is, I don’t have any friends I can talk to. I have people who care about me and that I care about, but I’m not close enough to share this and one person I used to think might be that type of friend kind of has proven that she’s not interested in a real friendship. She just checks on me by text every few months and says she’s praying for me. While that’s sweet, whenever I try to engage, she ignores it and then literally just writes another text checking up on me a few months later. She responds to updates, but not when I try to reciprocate.

So, with my friends falling away, with my brother turning away from me, Ivy really was my best friend. Possibly my only real friend.

[twobillionseconds]

April 8th - April 15th 2023

I know it’s going to be a well over a week’s worth of multi-day post, but my wife’s father passed away. I’ll try to chronicle the week and maybe reflect on it on the end.

April 8th:

My wife comes back home from work. As she is about to head to bed she gets a call from her sister that her dad is on his last breaths. We quickly find her a flight to get on and she packs last minute. We spend some time together and plan out when I should head out. I take her to the airport and she leaves. I forgot that there was a birthday lunch. I go to that and hangout. I come back and take the dog to the beach. I call a friend and chat with him a bit. I text another to see how he is. Also my crown popped off. I had to go to a buddy’s house to see if someone could help me put it back in. I spend some time with them and watch UFC. After I head home and head to bed.

April 9th:

Forgot that it was Easter Sunday. I wake up to the text that my wife's father passed away. I am running around doing bunch of errands and cleaning the house as best I can. I was thinking about going to a social event, but I head to my friend’s place to drop off a blue apron mean and to hang out. It was good to talk to someone about some of the events that transpired over the past couple months. 

April 10th:

I finish packing. Fortunately the dentist was able to squeeze me in the morning to get my temporary crown put back in. I walk the dog, finish some more errands, and take the dog to the boarding place. I head to the airport and head to Springfield. I got into town around 9 PM and my brother in law picked me up. I met some of the family at my wife’s mom’s house and we hung out. We went to bed a bit early.

April 11th:

I decided to go for a long run. I ran for about 7 miles. I took a shower and I’m trying to remember what I did. Well for lunch all the family came over to my mother in law’s place for lunch to hang out and eat. I saw all my nieces and nephews and we hung out there. For dinner we went to a Mexican restaurant and ordered 3 towers of margaritas. I guess it’s only fitting that we celebrate the life of their father. When the family members that were staying over at my mother in law’s place came back we all drank whiskey and played cards until pretty late. It was a good evening. 

April 12th:

Today was the funeral. In the morning we all got ready and had breakfast. We took pictures. The funeral was around 1 PM. There was a short service and then some light snacks at my mother in law’s place after. People hung out for a while. For dinner one of my brother in laws and I went into town and bought bunch of liquor for drinks and groceries for dinner. We grilled venison and pork and made daiquiris and bunch of other stuff. There were some people who stayed over longer and we kept making drinks and chatting. I’m not going to lie I got really really drunk. 

April 13th:

Woke up hung over but not the usual kind. Said good bye to family that were leaving. A few of the brother in laws took me out to the lake to go fishing. We were out there for about 5 hours. I caught 3 fish. After we got ready for dinner. What we caught was what we ate. We gutted the fish and cleaned them. One of my brother in law deep fried them. We had a pretty big dinner. We came back to my mother in law’s place and had a quiet conversation and went to bed.

April 14th:

The ladies wanted to go get brunch so one of my brother in law took time off to show me around town. We just hung out most of the day. We saw some trailers he needed to see and we went to go shoot some guns and got pizza afterwards. For dinner we went to another brother in law’s house and had Chinese food and hung out. We all decided to go to a quarter arcade nearby and took 10 kids and 8 adults. We all had fun playing really cheesy arcade games and what not. The wife and I said our goodbyes to the remaining family and headed to my mother in law’s place.

April 15th:

Woke up and slowly packed. The wife and I helped my mother in law clean up some of the furniture after all the visitors. We had an early lunch and she took us to the airport. Came back to San Diego around 5:30 pm. Came home and picked up our dog. We picked up some groceries and made dinner at home. The wife went to bed early because she was tired and I stayed up a little bit late to catch up on this.

Reflections:

When I got the news that my father in law passed away, I texted a few close friends, “This thing called life is short. Hug your kids and call your parents.” Don’t know if they actually did that or not, but it was more of a coping mechanism for me. The other thing to as I saw my 4 brother in laws carrying the casket of their father, it just reminded me the mistake I made in waiting a bit longer to have kids. We should’ve tried earlier. My ignorance, hubris, and whatever else failed me. I don’t know if I’ll ever have kids of my own. This recent episode really showed me the importance of children. Children are suffering, long lasting, joyous, sorrowful. It brings out the best and worst of us, but I think it is what we are evolved to do. Somehow in today’s culture children are seen as just burdens. They are burdens and they are much more than that. Jordan Peterson says that early on you get to choose your suffering, but if you wait too long time will eventually choose it for you. I don’t know what lies ahead for me and my wife. It’s not like we haven’t tried. We tried to choose the suffering, but maybe we haven't tried enough. I don’t think the window has closed quite yet, but I know it’s closing pretty rapidly. There are some hard decisions we have to make either way. May God be with us if he is out there. God if you are real, I’ll make the sacrifice like you required Abraham. Maybe there are more things I need to sacrifice. 

[bloodsweatmud]

hm :)

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

you never called it what it was - m.tkachuk

Here’s my much-delayed, much loved Matthew Tkachuk fic! As I’m sure nobody could guess, the title’s from another Taylor Swift fic - what can I say, I’m predictable! I really do love this piece, and I hope all of you do too! As always, I read each and every comment and all the tags on the reblogs (please reblog haha,) and love them all and hearing from everybody in my inbox. So please let me know what you think! It’s not all angst, I promise.

word count: 5.8k+

warnings: some language, but that’s it!

It wasn’t that Alessa didn’t know what was coming, and it wasn’t like she ignored all the signs. It’s like they weren’t even on the same page to begin with. Relationships for her had never been no-holds-barred, jump into the deep end head first without much regard for how things could go down the line. But she had always considered herself good at reading people, good at knowing where things were going before she’d be caught off guard and taken for a goddamn fool for how badly she’d misread a situation. Until Matthew. 

Things didn’t seem off at first. She had met Matthew through a friend of a friend, someone one of her coworkers had gone to school with who worked with the team. Or something like that. All Alessa knew that moment was that one mojito led to another, which led to her and Matthew stumbling through the door of her downtown Calgary apartment and into the bedroom as she feverishly unbuttoned his shirt as fast as her hands could go. Who wears a button-up to a birthday party at a club? she asked, but the thought left her mind the moment she pushed the shirt off of his shoulders and him onto her bed. 

---

“I’m thinking of getting a dog,” Alessa said early one morning six months or so into their relationship, her hands absentmindedly combing through Matthew’s curls as the snow flurried outside. 

“How come?” he asked.

“Someone to keep me company when you’re away,” she said, picking at the fuzz on the fleece blanket strewn across her lap. “I can only ask Amara out for coffee so many times before she stops enjoying the thrill of my presence.”

Matthew snorted. “Does your place even allow pets?”

“If they’re not massive, there’s a 50 pound limit or something.”

“I always liked dogs.”

---

The holiday season came and passed, March turned into April, and the Flames made their way into the playoffs just two points behind the Oilers, a fact she was almost positive Matthew would be griping about for years to come. Matthew had been invited to the All-Star Game but had been taken out with a concussion three days before, leaving him to try and sleep it off in his apartment, Alessa coming into the room every so often to update him on the score.

Two days before the start of the second round, with the team slated to fly out to Las Vegas to face the Golden Knights, Alessa found herself once again half-dressed in Matthew’s bed one night, a partially-drunk bottle of chardonnay they had been working on on his nightstand as her head rested on his chest. “When are you thinking of heading home?” she asked softly.

Matthew looked down at her. “Depends how long playoffs last, doesn’t it?”

“Obviously,” Alessa said, rolling her eyes, “but you know what I mean.”

“Probably a week or so after things wrap up? Gives me time to pack up, do whatever exit interviews they’ll have us give.”

“Unless there’s some sort of a parade,” she said with a smile, doing her best not to jinx things. 

Matthew nodded. “Unless there’s a parade.”

Alessa adjusted her head, looking up at him. “When should I come down? Do you think it would be better to fly with you, or give it a few weeks?”

Matthew didn’t respond right away, but it wasn’t the “let me take a minute to think” type of pause, the “oh, I’m not sure, let’s talk about it,” type of pause. It was the “I hadn’t even thought about it” kind. Or worse, the “I don’t even know what you’re talking about” sort of pause. “Coming down where?”

“Missouri?”

“Why would you be coming to Missouri?”

Deep fear struck Alessa’s heart, the kind you could feel all the way from your toes to your teeth. “So we don’t have to go almost three months apart? To meet your friends, see where you grew up?”

Matthew sat up in bed, avoiding eye contact. “I didn’t think we were there yet?”

“What do you mean?” Alessa asked, confusion setting in. “You’ve taken me to parties with the team, I’ve met half of them, I met Brady when the Sens came over and popped into FaceTime calls with your parents. Why would I not come to St. Louis?”

“That’s a big step,” he mumbled. “I just wasn’t expecting it yet.”

Alessa ran one hand through her hair. “When were you expecting it then, Tkachuk?” Matthew winced at the use of his last name. It seemed so cold, so impersonal coming from her. “We’ve been together for almost a year. This isn’t the first time you’ve done this, you know. I kept trying to avoid it, make excuses for you, but I’m running out of reasons.”

This time, Matthew did seem genuinely confused. “What other times?”

Alessa sighed, looking over at him briefly before picking at a loose thread on the duvet. “I’ve only been to what, one or two team events since we started dating, even when we’ve gone you seem really reluctant to introduce me as your girlfriend, it seemed like you only did it when people really pushed you. You didn’t introduce me to your parents when they were up here for almost a week,” she noticed Matthew’s mouth opening, “and don’t say it’s because you thought I was going to be too busy at work, because I told you I had the time.”

“It would be one thing if we both acted like that,” she continued, “but I never did. You went with me to my best friend’s birthday party,” Alessa and Praveena had met on the first day of high school and had been nearly inseparable ever since. “You’ve been over to my parents’ house for Lunar New Year, you charmed my dad by showing him how to use that ridiculously expensive espresso machine my mom bought him for his birthday. We went out for breakfast with my little sister when she was home from university on Christmas break. Emily’s never liked any of my boyfriends before, but she liked you.  I’ve always been proud of our relationship, proud of you, proud of us. I wanted people to know we were together, how excited I was to call you mine. It was fine that you never even called me your girlfriend on Instagram because I knew what we were, our friends knew what we were, you know what we were, but now I don’t even know about that anymore!” At that point she wasn’t even facing Matthew anymore, sat up with her back to him in his bed, her legs dangling off the side. 

“I’m tired of you keeping me like a fucking secret, Matthew. I don’t deserve that, and I don’t deserve to constantly be second-guessing myself if the person I’m in love with loves me back, if he even gives a shit about our relationship in the first place.” Alessa Liao had never been a doubter. She  knew she loved Matthew. She had known for a while; had told him for a while. It had just never struck her until now that he’d never said it back. “I love you, Matthew, but I can’t keep waiting around for you to figure out if you feel the same way.” She pushed herself off the bed and onto the floor, throwing her shirt on over her bra as she bent down to pick up her jeans. 

“What are you doing?” Matthew asked stupidly. 

Alessa rolled her eyes, but there was no warmth to the action. “What does it look like I’m doing, Matthew? We’ve been together for what, ten months? I just want to feel like you want this as much as I do.”

“And I do—” Matthew started.

“You can say that, and you might even mean it, Matty, but you haven’t been acting like it, and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I love you,” she said, tugging on her flats and grabbing her purse, “but I don’t think that’s enough anymore.”

Matthew wanted to go after her, but it was as if his body was superglued to the bed. He wanted to move, but he couldn’t, his voice was caught in his throat as he heard Alessa walk out of his bedroom, down the hall and out the door, the slam echoing in his ears. 

Matthew didn’t sleep much that night, tossing and turning and torn between wanting so badly to pick up the phone and call Alessa and not wanting to face what he was positive would be utter rejection. She had said she’d drive him to the airport before she had to leave for work, and a last-minute Uber and airport coffee didn’t have nearly the same comfort as it would have coming from her. 

He put in his headphones and closed his eyes practically as soon as he had boarded the plane and taken his seat. Noah looked at Johnny, tilting his head over towards Matthew while raising his eyebrows. Johnny shrugged. Whatever was going on with Matthew, it didn’t seem like he’d be sharing. As soon as the bus stopped in Vegas, Matthew grabbed his key card, hopped off, and had fallen into bed before Noah even opened the door. 

Alessa thought about watching the game that night, even turned on her TV, but turned it off almost immediately when she saw Matthew, mouthguard half-hanging out of his mouth during warmups, just one of his many quirks that had endeared himself to her over the past ten months. She turned it off, but her notifications kept popping up throughout the night. The Flames were winning, then they weren’t, then Marchessault tipped one in in the last minute of the third period, and there was no coming back from that. She sighed, pressing the heels of her hand up against her eyes, and shut off the lights.

---

Matthew was on a plane halfway to St. Louis by the time he opened his phone — he had coughed up the exorbitant Wifi fee — and opened up his texts. His mom was telling him about a dinner they had scheduled with some family friends for the next day, his dad was asking what time his plane would be landing, and Brady was trying in his own self-deprecating way to make Matthew feel better about the untimely exit by reminding him that the Senators hadn’t even made the playoffs since 2018. Maybe not the most encouraging thing for a captain to be saying, but it at least put a wry smile on his face. 

Matthew felt awful about losing to Vegas, because, well, why wouldn’t he? They weren’t exactly a universally-loved team, and he was supposed to be a leader, not the guy who makes sloppy passes and takes stupid penalties that might have cost them the series. Nobody told him that, but Matthew couldn’t help but believe it. At least they didn’t get swept, and losing in six games wasn’t anything to be ashamed about, but that didn’t mean it was any easier seeing other teams playing for the conference final that he was supposed to have led the Flames to. The Golden Knights-Stars series was three games deep, the Stars taking a 2-0 series lead at home before dropping one to Vegas the night before Matthew left for Missouri. 

He exited out of the texts, feeling a twinge in his heart when he saw his lockscreen. It was a photo of Bourgeau Lake from a weekend trip he and Alessa had taken in September, a few months after they had started dating and just before the start of the season. She was tired of having to look at Matthew’s boring default home screen every time he asked her to check the time or see who texted him, deciding that their first trip as a couple to one of the most scenic places in Canada was the perfect opportunity to grab a few pictures. Alessa was on the left side of the picture, on top of a rock by the lakeshore, her black hair tucked under a Roots beanie as she looked out over the water. Matthew didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so beautiful then, and the answer really hadn’t changed at all over the last two weeks. 

It wasn’t like he and Alessa hadn’t talked since their fight. Okay, well, Matthew was counting asking her ten days ago how she was doing (fine) and her saying she was sorry for the loss against Vegas (it sucked, he said, but he’ll get over it) as talking. Maybe that was smart, maybe it wasn’t, but what he was sure of is that he’d be even worse off if he had no clue what she was thinking, what was going through her mind. And it wasn’t like there were that many people he could ask about her even if he wanted to, and that was really his fault. He knew she had met some of the other partners of guys on the team, but none that he knew of that she was close enough to go to with something as difficult as the potential breakdown of her relationship, and while he’d met a few of her friends — and liked them all — he didn’t have their numbers, and Instagram DMing Praveena to ask if Alessa was doing okay seemed more than a little weird. 

By the time the plane had touched down in St. Louis and Matthew had hefted his carry-on down from the overhead bins, the sun had begun to set. Matthew flicked his phone off of airplane mode, seeing a text from his dad telling him he’d be waiting at the curb outside of baggage claim. He ambled down the walkways and across the terminal, passing Starbucks after Starbucks until he reached his flight’s baggage carousel, grabbing his suitcase. It was kind of weird, if you really thought about it. He had his apartment in Calgary, his old bedroom in his parents’ house, and the two bags he schlepped between them in the off-season. Calgary had become home for him, but there was nothing quite like being back with his family. His sister would be back from college in a few weeks, he could eat his mom’s homemade food and get to see friends from high school who couldn’t make the trip up to Alberta during the year. 

His dad popped the trunk as soon as he saw Matthew approaching, stepping out of the driver’s side  before clapping him on the back as he lifted the bags into the car. He started talking Matthew’s ear off as soon as the key turned in the ignition, but even Keith’s promise that his mom was making lasagna — his childhood favorite — wasn’t enough to take his mind off of what he had left back in Calgary. Who he had left. 

A week and a half and one brief text conversation with Alessa later and Matthew was no better. Sure, he’d settled into a routine of sorts. Wake up late, video games or TV till noon, work out with Brady for a few hours. He met up once or twice for lunch with some friends who still lived in the area, drove half an hour away in search of a decent frozen custard. None of it worked, because none of it distracted him from her. And the worst part is that he was starting to realize that Alessa had been right all along. None of them — his friends, his family, anyone — asked about her, where she was or why she wasn’t with him, because none of them knew the whole story, how deep his feelings actually were for her but how he was too much of an imbecile to realize it before things started to fall apart. 

No one knew, but people could tell something was off. Brady could tell he was checked out, his mom knew that he barely talked to her for more than a few minutes at a time when she’d usually have to cut him off to get a word in edgewise. Maybe they chalked it up to another early postseason playoff exit, or maybe they thought it was something deeper. He’d tell them in his own time, was the thought, whenever that came. If it ever came. It did, eventually, but not how he expected.

---

“So when are you coming back?” Matthew asked, looking back and forth between his phone, where his sister was on FaceTime and the leftover pasta he was eating for lunch. With his parents out with friends and Brady on a date with his girlfriend, he had been left to his own devices.  

“Uh, two weeks?” Taryn said, grabbing her phone from her nightstand. “Finals are next week and then mom and dad are coming out to help me move out.”

“How have your classes been going?” 

She looked at him funny. “Matthew, I have my last class tomorrow. If they weren’t going well, there’s not a hell of a lot I can do about it now.”

“Yeah,” he said, wincing. She was right. “Yeah, duh. Stupid question.”

Taryn ran her hand through her hair before squinting at the screen, opening and closing her mouth a few times as if she’d thought of something to say and decided against it. “What’s wrong with you, Matty?” Her voice was soft; Matthew couldn’t remember the last time she’d talked to him like that. “I’m worried.”

“That obvious, huh?” Matthew said, letting out a humorless laugh and setting his now-empty plate on the coffee table. Taryn was way sharper than him and far more observant, and he should have known she would pick it up. 

She nodded. “That obvious.” She looked quickly back at him. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

Matthew’s jaw hung open. “How—?” 

She shrugged. “You’ve played hockey since before I was born, you’ve never been this torn up about getting knocked out of the playoffs. Rules out that. Nothing weird’s going on back home because Brady would have absolutely gossiped to me about it if there were, rules out anything with friends or family. Not a lot of options left.” She shifted herself up to a sitting position on her bed. “So spill.”

“What do you want to know?” Matthew asked.

“Everything,” she replied. “If this girl’s got you acting like this, she’s gotta be something really special.”

A soft look came across Matthew’s face. “She is. Okay, well her name’s Alessa Liao, we met at a team thing, one of her coworkers grew up with an assistant athletic trainer for the team. She’s an architect, even outside of work her sketchbook is filled with all these amazing drawings or buildings around towns and ones she wants to design, and landscapes and coastlines and they’re some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. She’s an amazing cook, I was over at her apartment once and she was trying to teach me how to fold the pork dumplings she used to make with her mom and grandma, and she laughed when I would mess up but showed me again and again until I got it right.” He paused for a moment. “She’s way smarter than me and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

“Do you love her?”

He nodded, leaning against the cushions but avoiding Taryn’s eyes. “Yeah.”

She sighed. “Did you ever tell her?”

“No.”

Taryn took a deep breath in. “How long were you two together? How come you never told us about her?”

“Listen, Taryn, I’m not proud of how I acted, but—”

She cut him off. “No, you don’t get to make any more excuses. What. Did. You. Do.”

“We got together last summer, when I was back in Calgary for some team stuff. We were together—have been together? Whatever, a little over ten months. She seemed to think,” he chose his words carefully, “and she was right, that I was a lot more reluctant to put labels on things than she was. I brought her to one or two of the team events, but I didn’t introduce her to people like ‘Hey, this is my girlfriend Alessa, please take lots of pictures and plaster them all over social media so people feel entitled to critique every little aspect of our relationship and who we are as people.’ She was in a few photos on my Instagram, but it was mostly Stories or group shots from parties with the guys. Nothing to indicate we were together”

“Ten months…” Taryn was doing the math. “Mom and Dad have been up like twice since then, you’re telling me they never met her?”

Matthew winced. “No. Well, she was in the background of a FaceTime call once, she introduced herself but she didn’t mention that we were dating and I didn’t exactly…offer up the information.”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, so you barely brought her around the hotshots and community events, she never formally met our parents. So who did know about her?” 

“Brady met her when the Sens were up in Alberta a few months ago, we went out to breakfast. Like I said, she’s been to some parties with the guys, at people’s houses and out at restaurants and clubs and stuff. Some of her friends, I went to her best friend Praveena’s birthday party in January. But other than that, not many.”

“And have you ever thought about how that might make her feel?” Taryn was speaking as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and as soon as her words hit Matthew’s ears, he realized they were. 

“Bad? Ignored?” 

“At the very least,” Taryn said, clearly annoyed. “She probably felt like you didn’t give a shit about her, that you didn’t take your relationship seriously, like you were ashamed to be seen with her for some reason. If you never gave her a reason — a real, actual reason — then she’s probably going to assume it was something wrong with her. Like there’s something about her, who she is or how she acts or what she says that made you treat your whole relationship like some dirty little secret you were ashamed to make public.”

Matthew fell back onto the couch, hands covering his face. “I really fucked up, Tare.”

“And you’ve just now realized this?”

“No, but,” he licked his lips nervously, “what if it’s too late? I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see me again, after how crappy and downright dismissive I acted.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” Taryn asked, the corner of her mouth twitching up like she already knew what his answer was going to be.

Matthew pushed himself off of the couch suddenly, jogging out of the living room and up the stairs to his bedroom. “I think I’ve gotta go to Calgary.”

Brady came home twenty minutes later as Matthew was shoving clothes, his passport, and a phone charger into a bag. “Oh, awesome, you’re back. Can you take me to the airport?”

“What are you on?” Brady asked. “It’s one o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon, why the hell do you need to go back to Alberta?” 

“Gotta see a girl. I have to try and fix things with her, I’ll tell you on the way. Can you take me or do I need to call an Uber?”

Brady rolled his eyes. “Give me five minutes.” 

Matthew booked a flight in the car, and fifteen minutes after leaving Brady pulled up, putting the car into park and looking over at his older brother. “Alessa’s way too good for you, you know that, right?”

“I know,” Matthew said, looking down at his hands. 

“But she’s clearly a better person than you, and because of that, she might just hear you out when you go to tell her how badly you fucked up and what you’ll do to earn a second chance if she gives you one.” He looked at his watch. “You’ve gotta go if you want to make the flight. Good luck, Matthew.” Matthew gave him a tight smile back. He was going to need it. 

He had a three o’clock flight to Dallas, an hour layover where he had to transfer terminals and go through passport control, only for the flight to be delayed by forty minutes. He sat at the gate, sipping a tasteless latt�� from some off-brand Starbucks in an attempt to get himself to focus on anything but what he was about to do. God, he didn’t think he’d ever been so nervous in his entire life. Because he’d never had so much to lose. 

Matthew was in the middle seat, stuck between some elderly man who kept clearing his throat every thirty seconds and an eight year old who seemed to have missed the day in third grade when they talked about personal space. He kept glancing down at the flight map every thirty seconds, absolutely convinced that the more he stared at it, the quicker it would fly over Kansas, then Wyoming, then past Montana and eventually he’d be back in Alberta and back to Alessa. If she’d have him, that was. He’d taken much, much longer flights in his life, but the less than four hour it took from Dallas to Calgary passed like molasses. 

He bounced on his toes the moment the wheels touched the tarmac, mumbling apologies and squeezing past everyone to get off of the plane as quickly as humanly possible. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he called an uber. Some of the guys were still in town, but they wouldn’t get there as quickly as Abel in his Toyota Corolla and he didn’t need to hear from one more person how much of an idiot he was. 

Twenty-five minutes later (well, twenty-seven if you were counting, technically, and Matthew was definitely counting) and the car pulled up outside of Alessa’s apartment building. Matthew nearly launched himself out of the Uber, mumbling a thank you to the driver as he frantically pulled his phone out to check the time. 10:37. Alessa usually got home from the office around 6, maybe a little later if she was grabbing drinks with a friend, and rarely went to bed before midnight. She had always wanted to be one of those people who got up at six to seize the day and go on a five-mile run before work, but she unfortunately just wasn’t built that way. 

The lobby locked at ten, but before Matthew could try to think about how to get in without resorting to bribery, someone ambled through the door, their chocolate lab pulling them towards the park a block over. He slipped in, nervously hefting backpack onto his shoulder before reaching the elevators, pressing the button for the fourth floor. Muscle memory took him to Alessa’s door, and as he raised his hand to knock on her door he could have sworn his heart was beating loud enough the whole floor could hear it. There was one fleeting, terrible moment in the twenty seconds it took her to reach the door where Matthew thought about turning around and walking away, but he had made that mistake once and regretted it every second since. 

“Matthew?” She said his name like a question, her brows slightly furrowing. “Aren’t you supposed to be in St. Louis?” 

He nodded, rubbing his eyes. “I flew back as soon as I realized what a dumbass I had been. It just, I didn’t — it didn’t feel right without you there. You were right, you’re right about everything, and I know I haven’t done anything to earn it, but if you give me five minutes to explain what I’m doing here you can kick me out if you don’t buy it and I won’t complain, I swear.”

Alessa bit her lip, weighing her options. If she let him back through her door, she wasn’t sure she could ever ask him to leave again. But another part of her, a bigger part of her, wanted an explanation so badly she was willing to throw caution to the wind and ignore the warning signs flashing scarlet all around her. So she nodded, and Matthew let out a visibly shaky breath, scooting past where she was holding the door open and into her living room.

He sat down with an audible sigh, his bag thudding on the hardwood beside him. He was playing with his hands, looking between them and Alessa, who had migrated to the small couch across from Matthew’s lounge chair. It pretty much was his chair, she thought absentmindedly. He had claimed it from the first time he visited, saying he liked the worn-in blue velvet much better than any of the expensive leather couches the interior designer his mom had picked out had chosen for his apartment. She wondered if he had even realized where he was sitting. “I never should have left,” he began. “Let me just start there.”

“No you shouldn’t have,” Alessa said softly. 

Matthew winced visibly. “I deserved that. But I needed to say it. I never should have left, and I never should have made excuses for why I acted the way I did. 

And you deserve so much better and you could do so much better—”

“You’re right,” Alessa said, a little sharply, and with a little bitterness, but her eyes had begun to soften. “I could. But for some dumb fucking reason I can’t explain, I still don’t want anyone else.”

He let out an audible sigh. “God, it’s so good to hear you say that. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the chance again.”

“I didn’t say that was it, Matthew,” Alessa said, holding one finger up. There’s more to the apology than just that, isn't there?”

“There is,” he said, dipping his head. “I knew as soon as you left my house that night that I shouldn’t have said it. That I didn’t mean what I said. I wanted to apologize, but I didn’t know where to start, and I was having a hard time seeing your side of things. I kept talking to you, texting you, calling you, because I knew that I didn’t want this to end, and I’m so fucking sorry that it took until I lost you — until I almost lost you — to figure out what you meant to me.”

“And that is?” She was choked up now. 

“Everything. I think I knew it all along, but as soon as Taryn pulled my head out of my ass this afternoon I knew I needed to get here as soon as I could. Booked my flight on the way to the airport, ran to get to my connection, I’m not positive I didn’t elbow a kid to get off the plane when it landed here. I needed…I knew I needed to do something to show you. To prove that I knew how wrong and stupid I was and how I’d do anything to—”

Alessa cut him off, standing up abruptly, her eyes welling with tears. “I never needed a grand gesture, Matthew. I needed you.”

“And you have me,” he said, reaching out for her hands before thinking better of it and pulling back. “I want you, Alessa Xiuying Liao, for as long as  you’ll have me. When I was in St. Louis,” he  swallowed, “it felt like a piece of my heart was missing, and now I know that it’s because I wasn’t with you. Because you weren’t there. I want you there, Alessa, I want you laughing with my mom over coffee, or talking to my dad while doing the dishes or yelling at my friends to shut up while we’re in the car because you can’t hear what’s on the radio. I want to talk about the future and I want to mean it, really talk, like where we want to go on vacation over break or if we should get a dog or cat together or how many kids we want to have. And I know you’re apprehensive. Hell, I can’t blame you, I would be too if I was in your position. I know you want to see action, and you deserve that.”

Matthew pulled out his phone, tapping Instagram and scrolling to his drafts. He held it out to Alessa, who looked down at the photo. It was another from their weekend at Bourgeau lake last year; Matthew had agreed to take it at Alessa’s insistence that he actually had a wonderful smile even if he rarely showed it. Alessa had held the phone, Matthew’s hands wrapping around her waist from behind. Alessa was beaming from ear-to-ear. “I’ve had that in my drafts since the first flight over to Texas, but I wasn’t going to post it until I saw you. Until you said it was okay. I love you, Alessa, and I’m so sorry I ever let you believe anything less.”  

Her breath caught in her throat hearing him say it, hearing him finally say it after waiting months not knowing if he felt the same way. He kept going. “I think at first, I let myself excuse it by saying I didn’t want you to be exposed to how awful and hateful people can be online. I’ve seen some of the stuff posted about other WAGs and it’s disgusting, and I never wanted you to have to see it or read it, or for it to make things harder for you at work. You’re an incredible architect and you’ve succeeded entirely on your own merit, and people should never think otherwise. But if I’m being honest,” he stuffed his hands into his jeans, “it was because I’m scared. I’ve never been in love like this before. I’ve never had so much to lose. And so I think I was worried that if anything changed, even something small, everything would come crashing down and I don’t know how I would have dealt with something like that. If I could have dealt with something like that. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Less.”

This time, it was Alessa’s turn to reach out her hand. She wrapped her fingers around his hand. It was shaking, matching his breath as she looked at the screen. She read through the caption with lightning speed, a paragraph all about how much he loved her and how much she meant to him that was so romantic it would have put Shakespeare’s sonnets to shame. 

There were still things Alessa didn’t know, so many questions left unanswered. But there was one thing she knew for sure, one thing that she never doubted, not even when Matthew left, not even when their only texts were one-sentence questions and even shorter answers.

It was Matthew. It was always Matthew. So she looked up at him, giving a soft smile, then back at the phone. And she clicked post. 

[dollslayer]

Botanical Interest - For Luck

Soft!Mob!Steve Rogers x Florist!Reader

Summary: Steve introduces you to some of the most important people in his life, but are you ready for all that comes with it?

W/C: 4,743

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, angst, gambling

A/N: When I saw @redhead-wine-and-literature-club was doing a floral based challenge I couldn't pass up the opportunity to add to this series! April 28th - Cornflower - good-luck charm. Even though this is part of a series of oneshots it can be read as a standalone! If you like it please like/reblog/comment and check out my other fics! Cheers!

Botanical Interest Masterlist I Main Masterlist

The sunlight through the windows warms your skin while the breeze of the small fan on the counter gives you goosebumps. Dog days of Summer slowly set in over the city and with them came a slight dip in business. No one wants a rooftop wedding when it’s 100 degrees out and the drinks are watered down with sweat. You didn’t mind though, it let you put in a little extra time and care to the orders you did have.

You picked up a stem of cornflower and nestled it between snapdragons and lisianthus. It was so dreamy you couldn’t help but sigh, you almost wished it was for yourself. It was for an elopement, an eager young couple came in this morning all smiles asking if you could take the last minute order. Feeling a little sappy from your own relationship you couldn’t turn them down.

You started in on the boutonniere when the music you had on was paused. Curious, you looked at your phone to find you had an incoming call. You balanced the phone in between your shoulder and ear as you gathered supplies.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Doll. How are you?” Steve’s warm voice greeted you.

You smiled into the receiver. “I’m good, just working on the last order of the day. What are you up to?”

“Well actually that’s what I called to ask you. You free tonight?”

“You can meet me at the shop in an hour. Sound good?” You promised.

“Sounds like a plan. I love you, doll, I’ll see you soon.”

After returning his affections you hung up and set to work, excited to be finished and see Steve. Despite his involvement with the mob, which neither of you had really addressed head-on yet, things were going really well. Even though he was involved with murky dealings he was sweet to you and you were in love with him. You tried to plan your night with Steve in your head as you worked.

____

The ringing of a bell roused you from your work, expecting to see the young couple here to pick up their flowers. You were instead face to face with Steve’s handsome smirk and playful eyes. Your smile grew wider as he approached the counter. You held the boutonniere up to the lapel of his jacket and eyed it from a distance.

“Do I have a hot date I didn’t know about?” He joked.

“No!” You giggled, “The flowers are for a couple that came in the shop this morning, they’re going to elope and the groom’s got your complexion, thought I’d see how this looks on you before I finish”

“Oh? And how do I look as a groom?” He questioned.

Your cheeks heated instantly and you felt shy. You managed to squeak out that he looked nice before you had to turn away to box up the flowers. You couldn’t help the stupid smile on your face. You and Steve never talked about marriage before but things were getting serious between you. Maybe he just felt extra cheeky today.

“I like the blue, very colorful”

“They’re cornflowers, they’re a good luck charm! I figured they were fitting for their little wedding. So what did you have in mind for tonight? It’s too hot to sit on the patio but I’ve got a pint of ice cream with our names on it in the freezer at home” You raised your eyebrows in offer.

“Well actually, I was hoping you could be my good luck charm tonight. Bucky’s got a few of us getting together tonight for poker and you’ve yet to meet my friends. What do you say?”

Oh. You weren’t sure what to say. You hadn’t met his friends yet because you were uncomfortable with his mob work and you knew they were involved. But you also knew they were his friends and they were important to him. It’s not like you could avoid them forever. Poker with a mob boss? Sure why not?

You put on a slightly uneasy smile and nodded.

“Well I have to tell you, I haven’t played in forever but I would love to meet your friends” You told him.

“I promise, no shop talk. But I’ve been telling them about you. Buck’s wife Natasha has been dying to meet you. I also promise not to make you play poker.” He said with an easy grin.

“Alright, I just have to wait on this couple to pick up their flowers and close up. Shouldn’t be more than 20 minutes. You can wait here if you want but I’ve got no A/C”

Steve nodded and took off his jacket. He rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie.

“For you? I’ll sweat it out.” He said.

____

After a quick pit stop at your place to change you were on your way. You smiled in the passenger’s seat, still reeling from the look on the young bride’s face when she saw her bouquet. That was undoubtedly the best part of your job, seeing the joy on your customer’s faces when they saw their arrangements. Maybe this feeling could carry you through the night.

The tires of Steve’s Audi crunched under the gravel of the long driveway up to Bucky’s estate. Steve told you he had a townhouse in Brooklyn but for the most part they stayed at their estate outside of the city. You looked up at the facade of the house and admired the ivy that clung to the bricks.

Parking the car Steve got out and quickly made his way to your side to let you out. Just one of the many old-fashioned quirks that he had. You accepted his hand as he helped you out of the car and leaned up to kiss his cheek. His hand traveled down to rub your back reassuringly. You looked up at him.

“Don’t worry, they’ll love you. Natasha can be intense but she means well. Just be yourself and they’ll love you just as much as I do.” He kissed your hair to soothe you and lead you towards the door.

Steve nodded at the man at the door. “Scott. Nice to see you, this is my girlfriend”

You smiled and gave him your name. “It’s nice to meet you, Scott”.

He smiled and greeted you in kind, lifting his hand to shake yours. When he did his jacket rode up and you could see the holster and butt of his gun. You ignored it and shook his hand.

Scott opened the door for you and you entered the house. Mansion, might be a better word honestly. Marble floors, oak woodwork, all the look of any house you’d find in the area and all in line with how you’d think a rich mob boss might live. The foyer was empty but you could hear voices in the distance.

Steve waltzed through the halls like he lived here, when he was at work he probably practically did. The space was teeming with energy as they bantered on with trash talk and promises of beating one another. Men sat at a round table drinking, waiting to deal cards and women standing around sipping on wine.

One man looked familiar from the pictures you’d seen around Steve’s place. His sharp jaw and long dark hair drew your attention instantly; Bucky Barnes, King of Brooklyn. His brows were pinched together in a scowl but he had a playful grin on his face. You steeled yourself the best you could and prepared for your introduction. Just think of him as Steve’s childhood best friend.

“Steve! ‘Bout time you showed up you bastard!” an accented voice belonging to a tall blond man with long hair called. He clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “And are you the enchantress that our dear friend goes on and on about? Now that I’m meeting you I can see why!”

Steve let out an embarrassed laugh and motioned towards his friend. “This is Thor, don’t let the muscle fool you, he’s a total teddy bear”

You gave him your name and extended your hand when he brought you in for a bone-crushing hug. You let out a laugh and hugged him back, grateful for something to ease the tension you felt.

“How’s that for a warm welcome, huh?” A voice sounded from behind you.

Thor released you from your hug and you took a desperately needed breath. He patted you on the shoulder.

“Wanted to make our dear Steven’s girl feel at home, that’s all” Thor explained. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to beating your boyfriend at poker.” You laughed at that and turned to face the man who spoke earlier.

That man was none other than Bucky, who reached out for your hand. You gave it to him and he instead lifted it to give a gentle kiss.

“I can’t believe I’m meeting the one and only. Stevie here won’t shut up about you sometimes. I’m Bucky but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“I’ve heard about you too, it’s nice to finally meet.” You nodded as you took your hand back.

“I’m afraid I need to steal your man, we’ve been waiting on him to start the game but tell you what, why don’t you go find my wife Natasha, I know she’s been dying to meet you.”

Great, not at all intimidating. Okay fine just smile and breathe. Maybe get a drink. You smiled at Bucky. “The redhead, right?” He nodded and sent you on your way. One last look at Steve you shot him a worried look but he only winked at you.

You looked around the room and shrunk in on yourself a bit. You were never the best with social outings or being in new environments. You looked around again and found the very redhead you had been in search of smirking at you from the corner. She was dressed in a sleek black dress and looked effortlessly beautiful but also like she could strangle a man with her bare hands. You steeled yourself with a smile you’re sure she saw straight through.

“So you’re the one responsible for the flowers at my wedding?” You nodded Pleasesayyoulikedthempleasesayyoulikedthem “I loved them! The wedding planner recommended you and I’m so glad she did. It’s so hard to find a good color pallet but you nailed it. Come on, you need a drink then I’ll introduce you to the girls”

She ushered you towards the kitchen where she took the waiting wine glass from the counter and handed it to you. You didn’t like red but you’d drink it anyways. You brought the glass to your lips and took a sip.

You two talked for a bit in the kitchen, maybe she wasn’t as scary as she seemed. You tipped the stem of your glass until there was nothing left. Before you could ask for different wine she was topping you off from the same bottle. Another round of apprehensive sips and hidden grimaces but you thanked her regardless. It was now your goal to find the sociable sweet spot of drunkenness. You could feel blood rushing to your cheeks from the alcohol as tipsiness settled in.

Natasha raised an eyebrow and considered you for a moment.

“So how are you handling the whole organized crime thing? Gotta say, I didn’t peg you as his type but you guys are cute.”

You stopped yourself from spitting the wine in your mouth back into the glass.

“Um, thanks, I guess” You sputtered, “we uh, try to keep things separate. Figure it’s best for both of us.”

Natasha nodded, taking another drink herself.

“That’s probably best but I mean, how long can you keep that up, really?” She asked

You hated to admit it but she had a point. It’s not like the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. You opened your mouth to answer her when a man walked into the room and called your name. You looked expectantly (and slightly gratefully) towards him.

“I believe your man has requested your presence at the table. Somethin’ about needing a cornflower? I don’t know he said you’d get it. What are you two gossipin’ about in here anyways?” He questioned.

Natasha spoke before you could “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Sam. We’re right behind you.” Sam nodded and retreated back to the doorway to wait for you.

Natasha touched your shoulder and you looked to her.

“Look, I didn’t mean to come off so brash, I guess I’m just trying to say, I know that being involved in this life isn’t easy. We’ll swap numbers later. Maybe we’ll go to lunch” She winked at you. You couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not but you nodded anyways.

“I-Thank you, I think I’d like that. I’d better go find Steve though” you excused yourself and made your way back to the table.

____

Steve Rogers was having a good night. He finally got to introduce his friends to his girl, she seemed to be relaxing a bit and having a better time, and he was well on his way to getting a straight flush this hand. The only thing that would seal the deal is his good luck charm by his side.

Steve called to Sam across the room and as soon as Sam walked over and bent Steve spoke.

“Sam, could you do me a solid and find my girl? Think she went to get a drink with Nat. Tell her I need cornflowers”

“Man if this is some weird sex thing I’m gonna be mad” Sam said with a mixture of confusion and disgust.

“Oh, please. Nothin’ like that, promise. She’ll know what it means.” Steve pat his friend on the shoulder and paid attention as Thor dealt cards.

A minute later his girl was walking through the door with an uneasy smile on her face. Something is wrong but he can’t gauge how serious it is. Sam says something to make her laugh and he settles on asking her later. Natasha saunters out behind them looking almost amused but cautious. Like she was regretting something. She’d probably just tried to give his girl the third degree when Sam interrupted them. It’s for the best, that’s too much for one night.

His girl smiles as she approaches him, looking slightly more at ease when she takes another sip of her wine. Her smile was a little looser and she moved a bit more freely, definitely tipsy and completely adorable with that grin on her lips.

“How are things going over here for you boys?”

Gauging how tipsy she was, he patted his knee in offering and she took it with a shy smile. Only slightly. But enough not to worry so much.

“Well, sweetheart, I’m about to kick all their asses and I figured I could use a good luck charm to seal the deal.” He boasted.

“Oh,” she said in realization, “Then I’m all yours”. She settled into his lap and watched on.

Her face was nothing short of endearing as she tried to concentrate and take in the game. He remembered she said she hadn’t been good at poker but it was sweet she was trying to pay attention anyways and be there for him.

“What’s the pot?” She asked.

“Nothin’ serious, there’s a pretty nice box of cigars and a weekend at Buck’s place in the Hamptons in the mix but we don’t do cash at get togethers like this, that’s for boy’s nights only.” He explained as he rubbed her back with his free hand. “Tonight’s just about fun”

She nodded as she studied the table some more before resigning to laying her head against his and listening to whatever bullshit Clint was on about. Steve was focused on getting others at the table to fold, he knew he had a good hand and a good chance of winning, he just needed the others to back down to bring it home.

Thor placed the final community card face up and Steve set out a low whistle. Others at the table looked a little miffed but he just knew he was taking it all. He set down his cards to a chorus of groans as he raked all the chips towards himself. You placed a kiss to his temple and he returned one to your cheek.

“Just the good luck I needed” he said loud enough for the table to hear.

“Hey Steve you gotta come see this!”

Steve tsked in annoyance. “Can it wait? I’m up and we were gonna keep playing. I’ll be there after”

“No, you should go. Let her play a hand for you, we can get to know each other better” Bucky suggested.

“Oh, I don’t think you want me playing poker.” She laughed but nervousness was the only emotion he could see on your face. He opened his mouth to protest but was cut off.

“She’ll be fine, we’ll go easy on her, I mean it. If it makes you feel better we’ll even hold the pot. This round is just for shits.” Bucky insisted.

Caught between wanting to ask how you felt about it and not wanting to get flak about being so sensitive Steve tilted his head in silent asking at you.

You gave him the same unsure smile you’d had all night and nodded up at him. “I’ll be fine, Stevie, promise.”

He gave her a reassuring smile and then turned his eye to Bucky who was all smiles. He knew exactly what Bucky was trying to do. Buck knows she doesn’t know anything but he’s gonna turn the screws on her just like he does with anyone new at the table. Steve gave him a stern expression in warning. Don’t scare her off.

____

You could hear your heart beating in your ears as you tried to decide what to do. Take it slow. You told yourself. You looked up to find all the eyes at the table on you and did your best to calm yourself.

“So who’s dealing?” A man you hadn’t previously met swiped the cards and began shuffling.

“Look, I know we said we’d put the pot on hold but Laura’s been bugging me about a vacation and I don’t know that I can pass up this opportunity to steal from Steve so easily, so” The man you’d come to know as Clint trailed off. You did your best not to be offended.

“Shut up, Barton. I promised Steve, we just wanna have a little fun, don’t we?” Bucky asked.

Is he asking me?

You decided to take a sip of your wine instead and he chuckled.

“So,” Bucky turned to you, “I know that you know about what we do, there’s no point in denying it. The question is are you going to be a problem for us or do you know how to keep things to yourself?”

Frozen in fear you could only manage to look at the rest of the table, hoping to find that this was all a joke. Instead, every face looking to you was stony and waiting on an answer. God, this man was made for Natasha, that much is clear. Your eyes darted around the room looking for an out. Where is Steve? Where the fuck is Steve?

You don’t find him, but you do find Natasha looking at you, she smiles and looks to her husband before she shakes her head. She makes her way over to her husband and lightly smacks him in the back of the head.

The look of surprise on his face ruins his silent and aggressive front as he winces in pain. He looks in slight annoyance at his wife as she tsks at him.

“Will you stop already? She’s a smart girl and you don’t need to go scaring her off. In fact, I hope she beats you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.” Natasha sounded so confident. You warmed to the fact that she was in your corner when you were practically a stranger in her home.

“Aw c’mon, Babe, I was only messin’ with her.” Bucky turned to Nat and she just challenged him with a smile.

You didn’t know why Natasha has suddenly become so supportive, maybe she felt bad about earlier but you were grateful to her. She pulled up a chair between the two of you to watch and motioned to the dealer to continue. You finished your second glass and prepared yourself for the night ahead. Any chance they had of you going easy on them went out the window.

____

You lost the first hand graciously, saying you hadn’t played poker since you were in college as an excuse for your loss. But when Steve was still busy and Bucky offered another round you accepted. You decided to put your full effort in this time.

Twenty minutes later everyone at the table was feeling confident in their hands, staring at each other like some sort of Mexican standoff, willing the others to fold. You could tell by the way Clint kept scratching the cut on his chin that he was screwed and he knew it. Thor couldn’t go more than 5 seconds without nervous laughing.

But Bucky? He was a tough read but about half way through the round his leg started bouncing. You knew this because he was bumping into Natasha, who’s wine was sloshing around in the glass despite her stillness. These clods didn’t stand a chance.

The dealer, Vision, you’d learned, called for everyone to show their cards. Here goes. One by one everyone set their cards down until finally it was your turn. You set them down but focused on your opponents faces. Everyone looked confused, shocked even. You had laid down a royal flush and handily smoked them all.

“Holy shit”

“Holy shit indeed”

“Told you so” Nat teased.

You smiled at all of them and drank from your newly topped off glass of wine - white this time. A warm pair of hands rested on your shoulders and you looked up to find Steve smiling down at you.

“What’s going on over here, gentlemen?”

“Well, Steve, I think your girl is hustlin’ us. Thought you said you hadn’t played since college?” Bucky turned to you. You couldn’t gauge how angry he was but you decided to be honest.

“I haven’t,” you began, “But when I did I was pretty damn good. You just assumed I didn’t know what I was doing.” You shrugged.

The room was tense, it felt like everyone was looking to Bucky to see what to do next. He broke out into a wide smile and a low chuckle turned into hearty laugh. Everyone visibly relaxed.

“I gotta say, Steve. She isn’t what I expected, but she’s sure somethin’”

“A girl after my own heart” Natasha added.

Steve bent down to kiss your head. You stood from the table and offered him your seat. Nat put a hand on your shoulder.

“Steve I’m going to steal her again, the girls will probably want to hear all about your little cardshark.”

____

He had to admit, he was completely blown away by your little stunt at the table. He thought back to earlier when you watched him play. You weren’t trying to desperately understand the game, you were studying your opponents. He couldn’t deny it was kinda hot. You were full of surprises.

He smiled thinking that you were no different than the day you met, timid but aggressive when you need to be. That’s my girl.

The rest of the night came and went without incident, Steve didn’t end up taking home the pot but he did have a conversation with Bucky.

“She and I don’t talk about work. She knows that what we do isn’t exactly reputable but let’s face it, anyone in Brooklyn would. She doesn’t know and she doesn’t want to.”

Bucky took a long drag from his glass of bourbon and nodded.

“But if she ever did I hope she’s smart enough to know she has to keep what she knows to herself. We can’t afford any slip ups.”

Steve’s fists clenched and he controlled his anger enough not to snap at Bucky. He was his best friend but Bucky was still the boss and Steve knew how much was at stake.

“Not that it’s any of my business but you love this girl, right?” Steve swallowed thickly and nodded.

“Then how the hell are you gonna manage that? Keepin’ your two worlds separate? I mean, you just gonna walk her down the aisle and live happily forever keeping half your life from her? I need to know that if push came to shove she wouldn’t sell us out. Things are fine for now but you know that you’re either in or you’re out. I care about you, Steve, you’re my best friend but you need to see straight.”

Steve looked away, his jaw clenched as he ground his teeth. He knew Bucky was right. He loved you but he owed his life to Bucky, he was his brother. But he loved you. They were careful in their work and he knew any feds that tried to come after them wouldn’t find a thing. He could put this issue into a box and seal the lid tightly, at least for a while.

“I know you’re right. I love her and she’s a good woman. She wouldn’t say anything because she doesn’t know anything. And she never will.”

He left Bucky to stand on his own in search of you. He found you laughing with Laura, Wanda and Nat. He smiled at how welcomed you seemed to feel despite the rocky start.

“You ready to go, doll?”

You turned around and smiled at him. You looked back at the girls and then reluctantly back to him but nodded.

“Guess we’d better go, I’ve got to get down to the flower market at open tomorrow morning”

____

After a very long round of goodbyes you swapped numbers with Nat with promises of future lunch plans. The night had turned out worlds better than you thought that it would. You served a bunch of men their own egos on a silver platter and didn’t get murdered for it and you even made friends.

Still though Nat’s words echoed in your mind ‘how long can you keep that up, really?’ Little did you know but the same thoughts troubled Steve. You knew eventually you would have to make a choice if you ever wanted to get more serious than you were with each other, you just didn’t know what choice you’d make.

The ride home was quiet but not tense. He held your hand a little tighter than usual but you thought maybe he was just excited you had gotten on so well with your friends. He pulled up to your building and put the car in park.

“So do you think they liked me? I mean, other than hustling them at poker I’d say I made a pretty good impression”

Steve chuckled, “Yeah, doll. Gotta say, the whole cardshark thing? Kinda hot, didn’t know you had that in you, you little fiend.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and grinned at him. “I wasn’t gonna but Clint started talking shit.”

“Then he deserved his ass kicked” Steve joked. “I’d come up but I know you’ve got an early morning. Thank you for coming and meeting everyone tonight, I know that you want to keep things separate but these people are family to me, it means a lot that you met them”

You nodded and smiled. You told yourself you didn’t need to make the choice between getting involved with his work and keeping it apart from the other aspects of your life but it seems that by meeting them you had already made one.

Maybe you could talk more to Nat about this, she’d know what your situation is like more than anyone. For now though you decided to focus on the present reality, you had a good night and you had fun and now you’re about to kiss the man you love.

“Of course” you whispered. You kissed him slowly, trying to put off the sleepless night you were surely about to have.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you”

“I love you too, Stevie”

[jeonsjiddies]

Saying goodbye...

https://gofund.me/1e2bfdf7

I never wanted to have to make this post, but then again I never wanted to have to say goodbye to my best friend. A little backstory:

I’ve always loved animals, from when I was a child and would sneak out during storms to sit with the puppies in the shed so they weren’t scared, to being told there was something wrong with me because I preferred my cousins dog to her kids. I’ve always had a special bond with animals, but nothing prepared me for how attached I’d get to Baby. Last year, I was driving home and saw a dog barking at a boy walking, and knew from his reaction it wasn’t his. As I usually do ( I pick up strays and help find their owners or foster if there is no owner) I lured her to me with a hotdog and for the first time, my sweet girl came to me. She was skittish but so sweet. Her owner came out and explained she wouldn’t come to her.

I drove her home and helped get her on a leash (she wouldn't allow her owner to leash her) and talked to the woman, who told me that Baby (the gorgeous Shepherd) was dumped in their yard and they'd had her for a while but couldn't keep up with her getting out all the time, as her husband had cancer. I immediately gave them my number and told them to call me if they ever needed me to catch her. They did, and every time they asked if I wanted her. At the time, I was renting and wasn't allowed to have animals. I did take her on walks and McDonalds runs and spent as much time with her as I could. Soon, my grandma passed away and I asked if I could take Baby for the weekend. The arrangement was going to be a shared custody type deal.

I never brought her back (except to say hello and visit, but not to stay). There was absolutely no way I could give up on those big, sweet eyes. I hid her in my apartment until I was able to buy a house with a fenced in backyard and give her the home she deserved. I met Baby for the first time in April, 2021. I took her with me in May, 2021. In June 2021, I brought Baby to her forever home where she would be loved and adored until her last day. Some personal things went down in the end of June through July and I was not in a good place. I had a thought out plan about how I was going to end my life. The only thing that kept me from making that decision was Baby. I didn't trust anyone to take care of her the way she deserved, so for her, I kept going. It feels dramatic to say it, but it is 100% accurate that Baby saved my life. My love and devotion to her gave me a reason to stay, and re-think the situation. She was, in every possible way, my best friend.

Fast forward to March 2022. Baby had become lethargic in the last few months, but I attributed it to her age, as she was almost ten years old. I woke up at 3 in the morning on March 9th and found Baby struggling to breathe with a mass on her neck that seemed to appear out of nowhere. I freaked out and rushed her to the emergency vet nearby. They triaged her and said she was stable enough to go to our regular vet when they opened. We did, and after several appointments and tests, Baby was diagnosed with cancer. At first, they thought it was lymphoma, but all the test results were inconclusive. Many, MANY vet bills and zero concrete answers later, I posted a fundraiser on Facebook asking for help with the costs, as I was told that comfort care was the best option because referring me to an oncologist could run $10,000.

An absolute angel of a woman contacted me and told me she would assist with vet bills if I took Baby to VCA. After sobbing on the phone and expressing a thousand thank you's, I did. Appointment after appointment, test after test, and still we weren't sure what was really wrong with my Baby girl. Until we got a diagnosis. (I may not have the wrong word as it is not actually written down in vet records, it just says sarcoma and they told me it was a cancer of the blood and tissue.)

Hemangiopericytoma, a type of aggressive sarcoma. Hemangiopericytomas are a type of rare tumor involving blood vessels and soft tissues.

An aggressive cancer that apparently doesn't respond well to chemotherapy. With the mass placement, they didn't feel comfortable doing surgery and chemo wasn't an option, so they told me we had exhausted the options they had. Defeated but still not willing to give up, we tried a more natural veterinarian who had previously had good results with her type of cancer. Twice a week we drove over an hour away to get concentrated vitamin C infusions and some sort of heat glove therapy while giving her a TON of herbal supplements in a last ditch effort to save her life. On May 10, we went for an appointment and were told that the cancer was not responding to treatment like he had hoped. He said if she didn't improve by the next appointment, it was time to consider comfort care. I moved the date of her birthday party up (which was going to be a BANGER, btw. I bought her a cute little tutu and like, 90 paw print balloons.) That same night, while at my boyfriends house, Baby was having trouble standing on her own.

We rushed her to VCA (the closest animal hospital open) where they triaged her and put her on oxygen. The doctor came in and told us that Baby had internal bleeding and that she would not recommend taking her home, as it could quickly turn into a crisis. She recommended humane euthanasia in order to have control over our goodbye and make sure Baby had the most peaceful passing possible. I was and am, completely shattered from the loss of my Baby girl. While I knew it was coming, I thought I had just a little more time... We laid her to rest this past Sunday after writing letters and crying (me sobbing).

Now, instead of being able to mourn and recover from the loss of a soul that was so, so special to me, I'm being hounded by the VCA with daily phone calls about paying the bill from the day she passed. I absolutely can not afford this bill with my current financial status and my care credit account is already at its max from the previous bills before we started going to VCA. I have also contacted other organizations who help with these types of debts but no one has responded. Most of the visits were thankfully covered by the sweet woman who stepped up but she is not covering this one and any help to pay this off (or even just sharing to get the word out to someone who can help) and focus on healing my shattered heart would be immensely appreciated. Thank you.

[tikobithelich]

More information under the “read more”

My first technical MHA OC!

BASIC INFORMATION

Name: Mikuri Hino

Nickname(s): N/A

Age: 27

Gender/Sex: Female/Demigirl

Sexuality: Panromantic/Demisexual

Occupation: Hero (Former), Model (Current)

Birth Date: April 21st

APPEARANCE

Ethnicity/Species: Greek/Japanese Mutant Human

Height: 5’6’’ ft/170.688 cm

Weight:

With Wings: 145 lbs/65.7709 kg

Without Wings: 175 lbs/79.3787 kg

Body type: Thin Hourglass - Lean - Mesomorph

Hair color/style: Cocoa Brown - Fohawk - Silky

Eye Color: Pale Blue

Skin tone: Tan

Tattoos: None

Scars: Small scars on the shoulders from rough landings

Piercings: None

Clothing Style: Typical has either her legs or arms/shoulders exposed

Accessories: Black Chocker from her old hero costume

PERSONALITY

General Personality: Clingy - Protective - Lazy - Paranoid - Athletic - Focused

Likes: Home Made Meals - Chasu - Fur Trimmed Jackets - Heat

Dislikes: Most Fast Food - Cold - Dogs

Fears/Phobias: Not a full blown phobia, but dogs freak her out

Habits:

Sleeps in uncomfortable positions and is completely fine

Uses wings as a shield when feeling threatened

Yawns like a cat

RELATIONSHIPS

Parents: Kazuo Hino (Father/Deceased), Selene Hino (Mother/Maiden Name Laskaris)

Siblings: Ruka Hino (Little Brother/Alive)

Other Relatives: Umio Hino (Paternal Grandfather/Alive), Shizue Hino (Paternal Grandmother/Alive)

Friends/Acquaintances: Nemuri Kayama “Midnight”, Hoshina Mokinru “Killer Queen”(OC), Hizashi Yamada “Present Mic”

Best Friend: Ryuko Tatsuma “Ryukyu”

Significant Other/Crush: Shota Aizawa “Eraserhead”

Enemies/Rivals: Sekijiro Kan “Vlad King”, Enji Todoroki “Endeavor”, L.O.V., Keigo Takami “Hawks”

HERO/VILLAIN INFORMATION

Ex-Hero Name: The Mythical Hero, The Griffin

Ex-Hero Outfit: White crop top and shorts with white compress fingerless gloves and leggings. Outfitted with green tinted goggles and utility straps on the upper thighs.

Quirk: Griffin Metamorphosis

Not only have the physical characteristics of a Griffin, but the user also can fully transform into a Griffin. The form can only be sustained for a few intervals at a time and requires a lot of energy to maintain. The user also has enhanced strength, hightened senses, and can see up to 60 ft in the dark.

Strengths:

60 ft Darkvision regardless of form

Physically strong

Hand-to-hand combat capabilities

More advanced strength/sense in Griffin form

Drawbacks:

The Griffin form is single-minded and more primal than Mikuri is. “Protect (Person) from the villains” can easily be turned into just “Protect (Person) from ALL” if the Griffin feels threatened.

The Griffin form requires a mass amount of energy, so she tends to eat more than the average person daily.

Can bleed out

Can be shot/poisoned/drugged

Bones are hollow/easy to break

BACKSTORY

Born from Hero Kazuo Hino aka “Wildcat” and Greek singer Selene Laskaris, Mikuri was the firstborn child of the family, Ruka being born two years after her. The family grew up happily together until it was discovered that Kazuo had a brain tumor, and was expecting to not live long. He still kept smiling and providing for his family til his deathbed, when Mikuri promised she’d be a hero like he was. She then dedicated her life to training and went to UA, where Shota and Hizashi were in their last years. She thought that Shota was really cool at first, but had heard the rumors about a friend who had passed away a year prior and felt like he’d see her as her replacing him. Despite trying to stay away, she wound up catching the attention of Nemuri and the two were friends, Nemuri showing her the ropes of surviving UA before graduating. In her second year, she met Ryuko and the two developed a very strong bond that continues to last to this day. When Mikuri finally became a hero, she was a smaller name, but well loved. It wasn’t until she was helping with a building fire did things change. She had already been going through minor paranoia issues at the time, but this incident ended her hero career. Though she had managed to save two falling civilians, Mikuri was unable to catch a third and he died on impact. Mikuri helped pay for the family’s funeral and suffered severe mental distress from the event. Selene and Ruka finally convinced her to stop hero work and Selene found Mikuri work as a model, as she was already well-loved for body positivity. It wasn’t until two years later when her mother came to Japan to be interviewed for “Put Your Hands Up” Radio that she asked Mikuri to join. After the interview, Hizashi recognized Mikuri and Selene suggested that she and the man catch up. Later that week, Mikuri met with Hizashi, Nemuri, and a reluctant Shota to catch up. Shota has actually gotten close with her and even tried to coax her back into the hero world by at least having her teach at UA. Admittedly, it’s working.

[buckleyblueyes]

For buddie: 23 & 56

Performer AU + Awful First Meeting. Yes, I did stretch the definition of "performer" and what about it?

Eddie "Diablo" Diaz is Major League Baseball's most infamous hothead. He's arrogant, he's obnoxious, and worst of all, after making baseball history by pitching three no hitters in a row, and leading the Texas Rangers to two consecutive world series titles, he might just be justified in thinking so highly of himself.

Of course, the people who know Eddie best, his family and his teammates, know better. The Eddie they know is a loving single father who is so insistent on not leaving his son alone that he hired a private tutor, Carla, to homeschool him, just so he can take Christopher with him when he has to travel for work without disrupting his education. The Eddie they know is funny and kind and would do anything to keep playing baseball.

Including pretending to be an asshole on national TV so the franchise can sell merchandise with "Diablo Diaz" and little devil horns on it--all the big players have personas, Eddie. If the Giants can sell stuffed pandas in little jerseys, we can sell the devil--and who is Eddie to say no when his contract is on the line? So, when the fans and camera are watching, Eddie becomes an entirely different person.

He'd hoped that getting traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers would be a fresh start for his public image, but unfortunately the team manager Athena has other ideas. She sought him out to intentionally stir up controversy (well, and because he's a great pitcher), and she's not about to pass up the opportunity to make money off the Diablo Diaz persona.

Luckily, his teammates all seem to understand that "Diablo" isn't really him. He makes fast friends with the Han brothers, Chimney and Albert (catcher and shortstop, respectively), and the team doctor Hen Wilson (if Eddie hadn't been drafted to the major league, sports medicine had been his backup), during Spring Training, and he feels more supported by Bobby Nash than he ever has by any of his previous coaches.

Opening Day at Dodger Stadium comes on a crisp April afternoon, and while Eddie is nervous to throw the first pitch, by the second inning he’s feeling a lot better. By the time Bobby pulls him out and puts in the relief pitcher, Ravi, he’s feeling pretty good. As he’s walking off the field between innings, though, his attention is caught by the mascot, a brown dog in a blue Dodgers uniform, who is waving him over. Eddie scoffs and shakes his head in an exaggerated fashion: Diablo Diaz doesn’t play with mascots. The mascot keeps trying, though, and so Eddie does something a little stupid and puts one leg out to purposefully trip the mascot. It’s a tried and true older brother move, one that Adrianna and Sophia hate. 

And it works. The mascot topples over into the dirt, and Eddie heads to the dugout. Chimney gives him an incredulous look and he just shrugs. He knows it was a little extreme, but he has a role to play here. 

A few weeks later, Chimney invites him out for drinks with Albert, Hen, Hen’s wife Karen, Chimney’s girlfriend, Maddie, and Maddie’s brother, Buck. Eddie accepts easily. Eddie has a great time. Well, almost. See, Karen and Maddie are great, but Buck? Buck won’t give Eddie the time of day. According to everyone else, he’s a human golden retriever, sunshine personified. But for some reason he just hates Eddie’s guts. 

It’s a damn shame, since the man is drop dead gorgeous.  

After a few similar outings and gatherings, Eddie finally snaps. “What’s your problem, man?” “Okay, you. You’re my problem.” “Why?! What did I ever do to you?” “Seriously? Maybe if I lie down face first on the clay, you’ll recognize me then!” Buck stalks off, and oh. Oh. Oh, fuck. 

Buck’s the mascot. Eddie flashes back to the look Chimney had given him on Opening Day and suddenly it all falls into place. Immediately he goes to find Chimney. “Why didn’t you tell me Buck was the mascot?!” “I thought you knew...” “No! You said he was an actor!” “Well, he is.” 

So, now Eddie knows why Buck hates him, but he’s not really sure what he can do about it besides try to show Buck that he’s not actually an asshole. But it’s hard to do that when so many of their interactions involve Buck in a ridiculous mascot costume and Eddie contractually obligated to be a dick. Eventually it comes to a head on the 4th of July. 

Eddie is ducking out of the team party early, and Buck just can’t help but make a snide remark. “Too good to hang out with the rest of us?” he sneers. Eddie grits his teeth. “Actually, I have to go home to my son.” Buck looks shocked. “You’ve got a kid?” 

“Christopher, he’s my world.” He shows Buck a picture on his phone. 

“He’s super adorable, I love kids.” Buck’s entire demeanor has softened now, to the point where Eddie thinks he might be receptive to an apology, so he sighs and puts his phone away.. 

“Look, I’m sorry about how I act during games, and about tripping you. But you have to know that it’s all a performance. A marketing scheme. It’s not really who I am.” 

“Oh.” Buck shakes his head. “I feel really dumb now.” 

“Don’t worry about,” Eddie smiles. “Let’s just start over. Friends?” 

Buck shakes his hand and returns his smile. “Friends.” 

Of course, the “friends” thing can only last so long because Buck is, as previously mentioned, gorgeous. But he’s also thoughtful and sweet and endearingly dorky now that he doesn’t think Eddie is a total dickhead, not to mention Christopher adores him. So, yeah, Eddie’s a goner. Lucky for him, it kinda seems like Buck might be just as gone. 

They’re together by post-season. Somehow, Albert won the bet. 

[bubblestheraccoon]

Music Mixes

Lumberjanes “Arts and Crafts” Program Field

Treble Maker Badge

“Some Risks are worth the Reward”

Music fuels the mind and thus fuels creativity. A creative mind has the ability to make discoveries and create innovations. The greatest minds and thinkers like Hildegard von Bingen, Barbra Strozzi, and Florence Mary Taylor all had something in common in that they were constantly exploring their imagination and creativity. As a Lumberjane it will be vital that we not only enrich our minds, but enrich those around us. Music is just one of the many mediums that can create an empowering environment, it is one of the few mediums that can be enjoyed at any time.

Finch’s Notes:

This post is based on a section from the bonus content from Lumberjanes: To The Max Edition Volume One. I did not create these playlist, their titles, or the blurb at the top of the post. If any of the links are wrong or broken, or if I should add any more disclaimers for song content, please feel free to let me know!

*D-Slur Warning.

**Only version of the cover I could find on youtube, here’s a version of song without the extra audio but it’s on a Russian website that overwrote my adblocker a little bit so visit it at your own risk. Here’s the song it was covering if you want that instead.

***Could not find cover on youtube. Link instead goes to band camp.

****F-Slur Warning.

Fox Fight Jams! By April!

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce

Northshore be Tegan & Sara

Woo Hoo by The 5 6 7 8s

Wilderness by Sleater-Kinney

Wolf by Now, Now

Spin Around by Josie and the Pussycats

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Theme

Jet Pack by Dog Party

Pirates by Jenny Owen Youngs

Dance Apocalyptic by Janelle Monae

Bamboo Bones by Against Me!

Push It by Salt-n-Pepa

I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift

Up All Night by One Direction

Roar by Katy Perry

Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor

Say You'll Be There by the Spice Girls

Ribs by Lorde

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks (”Best Song Ever”-April)

River Adventure Mix of dooooom by Mal

I Was An Island by Allison Weiss

Shark In The Water by V.V. Brown

Let's Submerge by X-Ray Spex

Eyes Open by The Gossip

Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill*

Giant Kitty by Shonen Knife

I Won't Follow by the Secret Someones

4Ever by The Veronicas

Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne

Take Me Away by Fefe Dobson

Borne On The FM Waves by Against Me! & Tegan Quinn

Ain't It Fun by Paramore

3 Small Words by Josie and the Pussycats

Anchor by Letters To Cleo

That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings

Independent Woman Part 1 by Destiny's Child

Crush by the Sleigh Bells

Oh! by Sleater-Kinney

Tropical by Plumtree

Rhiannon by Best Coast or Fleetwood Mac 

The Con by Tegan & Sara

The Competition by Kimya Dawson

Cave Tunes by Molly

I Have Confidence by Julie Andrews

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

Tightrope by Janelle Monae feat Big Boi

Just A Dream by Taylor Swift

Heartbreak Dream by Betty Who

Corner of the Sky by the Jackson 5

Valerie by Amy Winehouse

I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston

Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn

Let It Go by Idina Menzel

Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations

Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash

Jolene by Dolly Parton

Rock ‘n Roll High School by Shonen Knife

Don’t Save Me by HAIM

The Cave by Dia Frampton**

She Keeps Me Warm by Mary Lambert

This Is For by Ingrid Michaelson

Cut It Off by Mal Blum

Smash Into You by Beyonce

Jen’s Perfect Camp Mix by Ripley

Gravity Falls Theme Song

Summertime by Audra McDonald

Strong Enough by Kina Grannis

(You’re So Square) Baby, I Don’t Care by Cee Lo Green

Waterfalls - TLC

Just A Girl by No Doubt

Nobody Knows Me At All by The Weepies

I’m Beginning To See The Light by Ella Fitzgerald

Bad Girls by M.I.A.

Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls

Magic To Do by Patina Miller & Ensemble

***Flawless by Beyonce

Come On by Josie And The Pussycats

Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey

Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles

Jo’s really rad! Mix by Jo

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Theme

Androgynous(Live) by Joan Jett and Against Me!

Tous Les Memes by Stromae

Sunshine by Rye Rye feat M.I.A.

L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold

What About Your Friends by TLC

Just One Of The Guys by Jenny Lewis

Melody by Kate Earl

Red Cape by Priscilla Ahn

No Wow by The Kills

I Found You by Tilly and the Wall

Do You Remember the Morning by Kid in the Attic***

Cheerleader by St. Vincent

Concrete Wall by Zee Avi

You Can Count On Me by Panda Bear

Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac (”<3″-Jo)

Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds

Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie

Oblivion by Grimes

Q.U.E.E.N. by Janelle Monae and Eryka Badu

Rapid Decompression by Against Me!

Roanokes Rule: The Mix[!][!][!] by April

Rattlesnake by Saint Vincent

Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me!****

Amazon by M.I.A.

Another One Bites The Dust by Queen

Art-I-Ficial by X-Ray Spex

Separate Rooms by Now, Now

What’s Mine Is Yours by Sleater-Kinney

Sci-Fi Wasabi by Cibo Matto

Tennis Court by Lorde

Son Of A Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

Desire Lines by Deerhunter

Hot and Cold by Ex Hex

White Daisy Passing by Rocky Votolato

Misguided Ghosts by Paramore

For The Best by Gregory and the Hawk

The Hymn Of Acxiom by Vienna Teng

Capture The Flag by Broken Social Scene

From A Shell by Lisa Germano

Rosie’s Turn

Feeling Good by Nina Simone

Annabelle Lee by Sarah Jarosz

Terrible Things by April Smith & The Great Picture Show

You Can’t Be Told by Valerie June

Wild Geese Blues by Gladys Bentley

The Day Is Short by Jearlyn Steele

One Dime Blues by Etta Baker

Hard Way Home by Brandi Carlile

The Devil’s Paintbrush Road by The Wailin’ Jennys

To The Bone by Okou

Panic Cord by Gabrielle Aplin

Cups (You’re Gonna Miss Me) by Lulu and the Lampshades

Crayola Doesn’t Make A Color For Your Eyes by Kristin Andreassen

Complimentary Me by Elizabeth & The Catapult

Blue Spotted Tail by Kina Grannis

Sorry About The Doom by Slow Club

You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

From Texas: Big “D” by Julie Andrews & Carol Burnett

Finch’s Notes Cont:

Hi! I made this post to avoid work. But mostly I made this post because Lumberjanes is something really important to me, and these playlist are a part of my enjoyment of Lumberjanes I don’t see people talking about a lot! So I decided to make a post in order to share them with y’all. I remember hunching over my phone making a spotify playlist (here, though it’s missing a few songs that aren’t on spotify) while on a trip to California in the summer of 2018 when I first got into Lumberjanes. I probably listened to these songs while I made my first ever Lumberjanes fanart. These mixes helped me to discover artist I really love, like Janelle Monae and Mal Blum. I hope you enjoy them as well!

Other notes: Sk8r Boi is crossed out as that is the way it appears on Mal’s playlist. Also, I tend to shy away from music videos as a personal preference, so that’s why there are so few included on this playlist, though I’m sure many of these songs have beautiful music videos. I might reblog this post in the future with some youtube playlists of these mixes, but if you want to find them yourself there are a lot of playlists of these songs made on youtube already! Or you can make your own playlists using this post. 

And, just for fun, have one final Lumberjanes themed music recommendation:

Lumberjanes by Various

[remmushound]

Curse of the Clan part 64!

Tags: @scentedcandlecryptid @selfindulgenz 

The streets were alive with the presence of yokai, potentially thousands of them, all gathered where there would normally be humans. They didn't seem to be doing much of anything other than simply mulling around at a slow and casual pace, some of them in small groups happily chatting while others were on their own but just as happy. A few had even taken to sunbathing in the streets, sprawling themselves out on the hot asphalt to soak in the sun; the yokai didn't seem to discriminate between road and sidewalk when it came to exploring, treating it all instead as one big walkway.

“What’s going on?” Raphael asked, his lips pulled down in a frown. “Why are all the yokai out?”

Michelangelo was beaming ear to ear, eyes brighter than gemstones, “There’s no humans in the city! Well— except for April and Casey— so the yokai can come up and enjoy the sunshine! It’s a first for a lot of them; actual, warm sunshine!”

Donatello focused his goggles on the streets below, flicking from yokai to yokai to yokai. A mother rabbit trying to coax her four tiny babies out of the shadows they cowered in. An old kappa holding their beak to the sky with their eyes closed under the bliss of sunbeams. Two young avians wrestling, tumbling about in the streets much to the laughing delight of several nearby yokai.

“They seem to be enjoying themselves.” Donatello commented. “The weather is quite nice.”

“Come on!”

Michelangelo once more grabbed his brothers and urged them onward, down into the streets where they melted into the crowd of yokai without a second glance being cast their way, because they were normal in the eyes of all yokai and nothing to judge. The tight, suffocating nature of the crowd quickly thinned when they reached central park, where the yokai were just as plentiful but more spread out. Some of them had split off into tight family or friend groups, while others were wandering around, either going group to group searching for someone to embrace them into their fold or simply wandering to enjoy the day.

All around them wafted the lovely scents of grilling meats and the alluring, fruity temptation of beautifully assembled fruits. Multiple families shared each of the grills, as there wasn’t enough to go around, and mingled together to enjoy the combined meals. Michelangelo was quick to grow frustrated as his family slowed to gawk in awe at the different groups, Raphael practically drooling over the meaty spendor while Leonardo was more interested in trying to identify all the different yokai, and Donatello was furiously taking notes on their behavior and how they interacted.

Eventually they made it through the crowd and to the only grill that wasn’t already surrounded by dozens; this grill only had three people. Cassandra was setting out plating and snacks far too eagerly, fussing around to make sure it was perfect while April and Sunita were together at the grill. Raphael licked his chops to collect slobber that threatened to drip, so overwhelmed with all the different, meaty options that he got dizzy looking between all of them.

April laughed; she was in a beautiful sundress, her hair done up in braids with beads woven in between, tight against her scalp. She picked a shrimp from the pile and tossed it through the air at Raphael, who caught it in his mouth with a great big SNAP!

“That’s all, big guy.” April said, smirking as she pointed the meat fork at him, “Gotta wait for it all to be done.”

Raphael whined like a dog denied a second treat. Leonardo and Donatello both came up on either side of April to take advantage of the wafting aroma, breathing in deeply and then sighing out slow.

“Smells great!” Leonardo beamed, leaning his head on April’s shoulder.

“Damn well better.” April said confidently, “My mama taught me well!”

“She sure did…” Donatello drooled.

April produced two more shrimp and popped them into either of the twins mouths, making both melt with the euphoric juices.

“We saved the damn world!” April spun around, showing off her kiss-the-cook apron, “I’ll be damned if we ain’t gonna enjoy it!”

Leonardo's eyes wandered until they fell upon a familiar lump of gray in the river, drifting lazily by on an inflatable raft; a speck among a sea of visitors swarming the waters.

“Dad?” Leonardo gawked, and upon his realization all his brothers came to realize the same.

The brothers split apart from the girls and cautiously made their way down the rocks to the rivers shore, Raphael reaching out to snag Splinter’s raft so he couldn’t drift away from them. Splinter opened a lazy eye and snorted not unlike a horse disturbed from its slumber.

“Can’t a rat sleep in peace?” He grumbled.

Leonardo’s attention was drawn away from Splinter as motion under the water proved far more interesting. A tilt of his head and a refocus of his eyes brought him to concentrate instead on the beings under the water; aquatic yokai were swimming along under the rafts, creating a lazy-river of sorts for those floating on the top. They didn't seem to mind it at all.

“Where’d you get the raft, pops?” Raphael asked, giving a faint laugh, “Doesn’t look like any of ours.”

“That’s because it’s not.” Splinter said, reaching to tweak Raphael’s hand in such a way that he had no choice but to let go of the raft. The rat sank back into the plastic happily as he started to drift off again. “I traded it in exchange for stories! Yokai are the best!”

Four confused sets of eyes blinked and turned to Sunita for answers.

“Yokai are really big on trade.” Sunita said with a bright smile.

Michelangelo became suddenly aware of a gentle force tugging at his pants and, upon looking down, he was met with a tiny squid yokai. At first he didn't know what to do, but when he recognized the wide-eyes and child-like features, he kneeled to meet the child’s height.

“Hi!” Michelangelo said.

The child said nothing. He shoved something small and sticky into Michelangelo’s hands; a snail. A very small one.

“Ohh… thank you.” Michelangelo said, because he didn't know what else to say. “Domo arigatou.”

Still, the child said nothing. Instead, he pointed at the paints on Michelangelo’s chest and then at his own chest. It took a second before Michelangelo sucked in a gasp of realization and practically squealed his joy.

“Donald, I require my paints!” Michelangelo held out his snail-free hand out to Donatello.

Leonardo smirked and elbowed Donatello’s side. “He requires his paints.”

Rolling his eyes, Donatello obliged the request and he pulled the emergency paint kit out from his battle shell, passing it over to Michelangelo. The box turtles wasted no time in quickly ushering the yokai child to a nearby bench, a series of excited, high-pitched chirps sounding from him. From there, Raphael, Leonardo, and Donatello all split apart in search of a venture of their own in the yokai-filled park.

Raphael didn't get far before he heard a voice calling his name, and just as soon he was surrounded by powerful arms that heaved him up with no effort at all. Raphael’s initial instinct was to fend off an attack, but when the scent of the unseen Yokai came to him, he recognized it and began to laugh.

“King!”

King wrapped a massive arm around Raphael’s neck to keep him in a choke hold so he could repeatedly noogie the broad head. Raphael was eventually able to pull free, twirling around and tossing himself at King for a hug.

“I see my blessing worked.” King seemed to be practically glowing under the warmth of the sun, his scales a beautiful and vibrant mix of orange and red instead of the normal brown.

“Y-yeah, yeah!” Raphael nodded, a little breathless. “Yeah. Thanks again for that.”

“Was that your family?” King nodded back to where Raphael and his clan had just been gathered.

“Yeah— that’s my clan! And that’s my dad there on the river— he’s the rat.”

King nodded with a thoughtful hum. “I see your family is just as… colorful as mine. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for them if they’re ever on my side of the Hidden City.”

Raphael nodded an automatic nod with both hands on his hips. “Yeah I uh… thanks. I appreciate that.”

“INCOMING!”

Raphael looked up, confused at the shout and even more confused when he saw a fish falling right at him. King snatched the falling projectile before it could get very far, snaring it in his maw and giving a thankful grunt toward Koya as she flew once more away. King looked down at Raphael and held out the fish to him, which was still thrashing about trying to free itself from the yokai’s relentless grip.

“Oh— no thank you…” said.

King shrugged. He shifted down onto his belly, using his massive hands to pin the fish while he ripped its head clean off and gulped it down. The decapitated fishes body still struggled, which went without a bother from King as he lumbered away and over to Tang Shen who was soaking up the sun. Head bowed, he offered the rest of the fish to her and she accepted, eating it with just as much ferocity as her adoptive son.

Splinter crawled onto shore as his raft came around the bend of the lazy river once more, dragging it along with him as he went to Raphael’s side, staring at the cat and dragon duo with much the same expression as Raphael.

“Are they friends of yours?”

“Uh… that’s King. He gave me my blessing. And uh… that’s his mother Tang Shen.”

“Tang Shen huh?” Splinter eyed the cat curiously as she sucked the flesh from the bone and proceeded to rasp her tongue over the fishes skeleton to lap up any remaining flavor “What. A. Woman.”

[ikemenshakespeare]

Thank you @fittsythesnail for giving me the inspiration to create this OC for Ikemen vampire! She made this piece for me in loving memory of my dog Bowser who passed away a few months ago, and now he gets to live on as part of the Ikemen Vamp fandom as a girls best friend. 🐶🥺💖

Name: Alba Estelle Rossi

Vampiric Type: N/A (Human)

Height: 5’4

Birthday: April 15th (Same day as Leonardo!)

Age: 22

Occupation: Hairdresser

Pet: 9 year old male dog named Bo. Alba took her three sisters out to the park one sunny spring afternoon. They’d been out playing when they found a box near the street with a little mutt inside. After denying the puppy for hours, it turned out she’d be the one most in love with him after one short week! (Bowser’s IkemenVamp persona. 🥺🐶)

Appearance: Although one of the hairdressers in town, Alba keeps her hair it’s bored straight look. The length can range from medium/long depending when she can get around to trimming it herself, hair color is a chestnut brown. Light olive colored skin and green/hazel eyes. Thick dark colored eyebrows. Large breasts.

Childhood: Alba’s the oldest of her mothers four daughters, The sister closest to her in age (Olivia) still seven years younger. Alba was the bastard child of an Italian man, her mother a French woman was still only a teenager when she ran off to be with him. Later in life when Alba was 5 years old her father left to start a family with another woman of legitimate status, leaving her mother to move back to Paris with her and eventually start a new family of her own with a simple fisherman. By the time Alba’s last sister (Therese) was born her mother and stepfather had fallen into deep depression and became alcoholics, unable to take care of their newborn or other two kids, fourteen year old Alba took up the responsibilities as a parent and moved out with her sisters. Always doing the young girls hair paid off, eventually she found a passion for hair dressing. Surprisingly after moving out at age fourteen she continued to live a very happy “childhood” taking care of her sisters. Alba values their peace/happiness over everything and is extremely lucky her oldest sister (Olivia) is nurturing and can take care of the young two (Valerie/Therese) and the house while she worked.

Dislikes: cold weather, humidity, animal cruelty, people who take advantage of others, sleeping in the dark, and laziness.

Likes: meeting others who are just as passionate about something as she is, the idea of traveling the world although she hasn’t been able to yet, sleeping in on days off, animals, a good book, bear hugs, the beach, belly laughs, and a nice hot cup of coffee is the cure to almost anything.

Personality: Basically the definition of extrovert, with Alba the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Is true indeed! Looking simple on the outside and being a box of bubbly cheer on the inside! Very opinionated which is arguably one of her worst traits for some, her mouth has gotten her in some trouble but she wouldn’t change that about herself. Alba’s a rollercoaster of emotions and feels all things deeply. If sad, angry, happy, or anything else for that matter you’ll know! Growing up self reliant it’s hard for her to accept help from others, but when finally convinced to take help she’s always appreciative. A very loyal person and would do anything for those who’ve helped her or are good friends.

Relationships

Leonardo (platonic): Met him when she first became a hairdresser. Leonardo would see her in town, just a young girl offering hair services to make money. Going into town to help others was a hobby of his, there was nothing he could do for Alba other then become a regular customer of hers. And so he did. Every few weeks he came to her for a trim. As time went by Leonardo met her younger sisters and came to know the source of her hard work. As years went by Alba began to realize something about Leonardo aswell. Things were ever changing, she’d quickly went from a young teenager to young woman. Leonardo on the other hand hadn’t changed at all, his appearance hadn’t even so much as dulled. “Leonardo…” she’d asked. “Hmm?” He was getting up from his chair, giving her that same smile he always had. “How old are you?” He grinned further, “a man never tells his secrets” she frowned, “you’ve told me that before.” He chuckled. “doesn’t surprise me. Till next time Alba.” He went to walk out the doors of her home, but what she’d said next shocked him. His back stiffening, forcing him to turn back around to face her. “I don’t know what you are, but I know you’re not like regular people. You gave me that same answer when I first met you. Just know, whatever it is I’ll never be scared of you.” He knew she’d never be scared of him, even if she did know what exactly he was, but boy was he afraid of her. Ever changing, getting older while he stayed the same. He feared to be close to another human and loose them, such fleeting creatures although he couldn’t help but be there for them, be there for her. Eventually since she practically found out for herself the secrets of his vampire life, he coaxed Comte into allowing her to come to the mansion to do his hair. In turn she got an entire mansion full of new clients.

Vincent (close friend): After being invited to the mansion by Leonardo to do hair, Alba immediately began making new relationships with the others. Vincent’s kind demeanor made him the easiest person for her to get on with from the very beginning, he also took a lot of interest in her in general. Always looking for new inspiration for his art he would simply watch as she did hair, painting the scene of her. Unlike some of the others he was very open and was easy to trust. After months of her coming in and out there came a time when the three girls had to come with her to the mansion. They’d play outside giving Vincent even more inspiration for painting. “Alba, would it be alright to paint the girls in the field?” They were always doing something interesting leaving him with tons of happy nature scenes to paint.

Theo (possible romance? 😏): At first he was one of the only residents who paid no mind to Alba. Not even bothering to be serviced by her when she came over. It happened more then once where he’d be looking for Vincent and see him in thralled in a painting of her. “Broer, This woman again? What do you find so fascinating about her?” Vincent just claimed to want to paint and it was something different from a regular scene. “Theo, could we show this peice at our next event?” He hesitated. “You should paint another of her for the event, we should hold on to this one.” He’d admire his work of her in the art room from time to time, wondering why he felt an attraction to the piece of a woman he hadn’t even really met. Months began to pass and Vincent would begin to spend lots of time with Alba outside of mansion. They’d go to brunch, little outings at the park, ect. Of course Theo being Theo, he just absolutely needed to know what his little brother was up to. If he knew where they’d be going that day,he’d sneak a peak on his way to the next job. One of the occasions they were out walking Bo, he noticed Theo watching/lingering in the distance and took off his way. Her dog barked and growled like mad and sent Theo falling on his butt, Alba and Vincent came down the road running. “Broer! Are you alright??” A worried vincent helped his brother up. “Im so sorry about that, I’ve never seen him act this way towards anyone before!” Alba grabbed Bo, struggling with him to calm down. Theo spit out, “Tch! Control your little friend hondjie!” A knot appeared between your brow, “excuse me? What did you just call me?” That’s how you two met officially, not to mention the first of many many bickering matches. Although the last the two spoke, Theo showed a new side of himself. “Alba, We’re having a show later this week. Vincent wanted to display one of the paintings he made of you that day.” You simply nodded, “yeah, I’ve heard from Vincent already and gave him permission.” He sighed, “that’s not what I’m asking. I wanted to invite you to go see the display for yourself.” She hesitated a moment. “Well… I was supposed to cook the kids an early dinner that night. I’m not sure-” cutting her off he rushed the words out, “That’s fine, dinners on me and the girls can come. I’m sure Vincent will join us afterwards aswell.” This really caught her by surprise. She’s be lying if she said Theo wasn’t dangerously attractive. His attitude on the other hand… wasn’t something you thought you were fond of. Seeing the pink blush on his cheeks now as he asked to see you on the other hand… now that was something she couldn’t shake. She wanted more of this and couldn’t tell you why.

[seafoamchild]

another year almost done. it's been such a warm december. the leaves are all gone and the clouds seem to hang around most days. but yesterday was 60 degrees. in december! it was so warm and humid and it smelled like earth and rain outside. felt like spring.

i've been running a lot. i'm trying to force myself to do it even when it's gross outside. i really don't want to fall out of the habit. i want to keep getting better at it.

this year has been a lot of fun, i think. it started out rough - january and february were hopelessly depressing. i did so much ketamine because i was so bored. like i watched so many movies while k-holing on the couch lol. but then in february i went to death valley with my mom, and we had such a good adventure there - hiking the canyons, walking across the salt flats, watching the sunset and the moonrise from the sand dunes, exploring an abandoned mine in the quiet, eerie desert. it was a really memorable trip.

then in april i went to maui with my friends. that was so fun. we woke up at 3am to drive up to the top of the volcano for sunrise, and it was magical. we did some hiking up at haleakala, where it felt like we were on the moon. we took the road to hana and cliff dived into this lagoon that was right next to the ocean. we spent a lot of time at the beach and it was amazing. we swam in the ocean and went snorkeling and watched the crashing waves. we drank pog juice and saw a bunch of sea turtles and drove a minivan around this super narrow coastal highway that had the craziest views. i loved maui so much and i'm so glad i got to go on that trip with friends. it was really special.

oh and i went to the smoky mountains! we drove down there and went hiking and it was super misty and spooky and wonderful. i wish we could have spent more time there but it was really nice to get away for a long weekend.

summer was fun too. me and lora got season passes to six flags and i rediscovered my love of roller coasters. we went like six times to six flags lol and it was so fun every time. and we went to door county with bryce and tom, and that was pretty much the funnest time ever. we did acid one day and pretended we were zombies in the sand on the beach, and then we went to this other beach that was soooooo beautiful and there were dogs everywhere, and the water was so calm and inviting and sparkly. we were laughing so much. and then tom and bryce went to this play, and me and lora ate ice cream for dinner while watching this insane sunset over the lake, and then we just drove around the peninsula with the windows down and the heat on, blasting London Bridge by fergie and we felt so free and alive and it was perfect. then we went to this dive bar where we watched the bucks game and they won and everyone was happy and then we went to a cemetery at night and walked through it all spooky and shit. it was literally the best day ever and i still think about it all the time.

august was a fun month too. i went to the olympic peninsula with my mom and gabe. we did so much hiking - through the rainforests, up on hurricane ridge, along the rugged coastline. everything was so beautiful. gabe and i drove around vashon island and went to all these little farm stands, and we saw a seal in the water at twilight. oh speaking of twilight, we went to forks and went to the twilight museum and it was amazing. and then i went to the north cascades for my backpacking trip. it wasn't what i expected exactly and there were people who drove me crazy for most of the time and i barely slept at all, but it was sooooo beautiful up there in the mountains. like impossibly beautiful. and it was cool to be camping for real again. and hiking with that backpack made me realize i'm stronger than i thought.

oh yeah, and we went to lora's parents house up north for a weekend, and that was crazy fun too. we cruised around on the pontoon boat for hours and did acid and splashed around in the water and went tubing which was probably the most joy i've ever felt in my life honestly. tubing while tripping.

so yeah, a lot of great trips happened this year. i had a lot of happy moments and made a lot of happy memories.

[considermewhelmed]

See You Again by Wiz Khalifa (ft. Charlie Puth)- Dick Grayson and Jason Todd

a/n: strap in folks. This is going to hurt.

taglist: @river9noble

Master

part 2

-

“It's been a long day without you, my friend/And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again/We've come a long way from where we began/Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again/When I see you again.”

“Damn, who knew?/All the planes we flew/Good things we've been through/That I'll be standing right here talking to you/'Bout another path/I know we loved to hit the road and laugh/But something told me that it wouldn't last/Had to switch up/Look at things different, see the bigger picture/Those were the days/Hard work forever pays/Now I see you in a better place.”

“The love will never get lost/And when brotherhood come first/Then the line will never be crossed/Established it on our own/When that line had to be drawn/And that line is what we reach/So remember me when I'm gone.”

-

October 18, 9:30pm.

“Jason? Jason, where are you? You need to pick up- Bruce called me, freaking out because you’ve been spotted in Europe? I know you wanted to find your mom but Jesus Christ Jay, where are you? Pick up your goddamn phone, at least let me know you’re safe, that you’re okay. I won’t even tell Bruce. Just tell me you’re alright, okay? Call me back as soon as possible.” 

October 18, 11:48pm. 

“Hey. Sorry. I don’t know what to say. When I heard… Bruce told me. I didn’t really want to believe it. I still don’t really want to believe it. I’m just… I’m so sorry.” 

October 21, 5:36pm.

“You’re everywhere. God. You’d probably hate it. Everyone talks about the tragedy. They don’t really know what happened. They just know that you… that you’re gone. I wish you were gone. Completely. It would be easier to handle if you were. I’m sorry.” 

October 31, 1:01am.

“I was supposed to pick you up, remember? We were going to go trick or treating in Bludhaven, because we never had that before. Because I was in the circus. And you… anyways, you said I should go as Green Lantern because you think if it could, a green ring would pick me anyways. No fear, huh? Well. I was always scared of something, Little Wing. God you hated it when I called you that I’m sor-” 

November 13, 4:13pm.

“It’s been almost a month and your face still shows up sometimes on the news. I miss you.” 

December 1, 2:52am.

“Bruce isn’t the same without you Little Wing. He’s reckless. Careless. I think he’s going to get himself killed. It’s kind of… terrifying. Clark’s worried. The League’s keeping an eye on him. I wish I could. But… god it just hurts to be in the Cave right now. I’m sorry.” 

December 20, 9:38pm.

“I was helping Alfred put the decorations up. No ones really feeling festive but… we had to do something I guess. We got the stockings up, and… I’ve never seen Alfred cry over anything, but he just couldn’t stop when he saw your stocking. I… I put it up in my room. I wanted to feel like you were here for the holidays. Sometimes I feel like you’re going to burst through the door anymore like it was some sort of joke-” 

December 25, 12:02am. 

“Merry Christmas Little Wing.” 

January 3, 3:26pm.

“I don’t know why I keep calling this number. You don’t pick up. I know you won’t pick up. But I miss you. This is the only way I hear you anymore. I wish you were calling me for tips and tricks again. I wish I had known you were in trouble. I wish I was fast enough to get you. I wish you’d never gotten into this in the first place, you were so young, you didn’t deserve to go out like this, god it’s just not right-”

January 26, 7:09pm.

“Today was a good day. We took in a stray dog, kept him safe and found his owner. He’d run away because he was spooked by a loud car. He was a German Shepard, I remember you saying you had one when you were really little, his name was Buddy, right? Anyways, I think that saving stray dogs and getting cats out of trees and helping lost kids find their parents are the best parts of this job.” 

February 15, 1:29am. 

“I’m so sorry Little Wing, I think I forgot that joke you told me. I was trying to tell Kori and I forgot the punchline and I wish you were here to tell me it again because it was really funny and I think she would really like it. I think you would like her Jay, she’s a spitfire, you’d get a kick out of how she keeps us all in line. You’d like this crew. You’d like it here. I’m sorry.” 

March 29, 3:06am. 

“I’m sitting here, in the Batcave. Looking at Bruce, passed out from a fight that took a sharp turn. It was stupid, he’s beaten Mr. Freeze so many times, he was making rookie mistakes and I just don’t know what to do anymore. He… he hit me Jay. He’s not the same. I asked Alfred, if this is what happened when his folks… when they… anyways, he said no. He said he fought to be better. So why is he trying to get himself kil-” 

April 04, 6:45pm. 

“I don’t even… fuck.” 

April 04, 6:49pm.

“Okay so, this kid, he’s like, 12? 13? He comes up to me and he’s like ‘I know who you are’ and I’m sitting here thinking this kid has some affinity for the Flying Graysons or something ‘cause that has happened before. But no. No this kid, his name is Tim by the way, Tim is like ‘I know you’re Nightwing and Jason Todd was Robin and Bruce Wayne is Batman and’- fuck, Jay you should’ve heard this kid-”

April 04, 6:52pm. 

“And he’s like ‘I know Jason died and now Batman’s being stupid because he doesn’t have a Robin to care about so you should come back and be Robin again because Batman needs Robin’. Jesus Christ Jason, this kid, I swear, he genuinely believes if I don’t go back to being Robin, Bruce is going to go completely off the deep end. And I think he’s sort of right, but I don’t think me going back to Robin will fix it-” 

April 04, 6:54pm. 

“I’m also a grown ass man with my own life, and my own identity, and I worked so hard to get out from Bruce Wayne and Batman’s shadow and I don’t even want to go back to Robin. I like Nightwing. Besides, with how things are going with me and Bruce, I don’t think he’d take me back to begin with. And now he knows things and fuck things got pretty fucked up after you… after you… fuck.” 

April 26, 1:22am. 

“I’ve never wanted to harm a child more in my life, Jay. This jerk started tracking me down on patrol, still trying to convince me to go back. I’m not going back. It’s not happening.” 

May 11, 8:47pm. 

“This isn’t a Tim update. I just. I was starting to forget what your voice sounded like. I still can’t remember that joke. I’m sorry Little Wing. Thanks for listening. I’m sorry. I miss you. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better big brother, I should’ve been better. I’m sorry.” 

June 18, 5:14am. 

“Tim had officially been taken under Batman’s wing. He saved Bruce today. No training. No strength. No guidance. Just a shit ton of will and heart. Kind of reminds me of you, when you were first starting out. The you behind all those walls you built to protect yourself. I wish you would’ve torn more of those down for us. He starts training today. I’m going to help. I don’t think Bruce should do this but, what do I know?” 

July 04, 9:00pm. 

“You always liked the fireworks in Gotham on the Fourth of July. You’d wanna sit by the water and watch the colours burst through the sky. It was like, the one night a year Bruce would let you take the night off when you were healthy so that Alfred and I could take you. He’d join us if it was a quiet night. You remember that? He’d come with us. For a minute it felt like we were just a normal family.” 

August 16, 12:00am. 

“I always liked to be the first one to say it. Happy Birthday Little Wing. I love you kiddo.” 

September 1, 5:19pm. 

“I keep forgetting your voice. For a scary minute today, I couldn’t picture your face. When was the last time I hugged you? I’m sorry. I should’ve done it more.” 

October 18, 11:45pm. 

“I…” 

October 18, 11:49pm. 

“I can’t…” 

October 18, 11:55pm. 

“It’s been a really long year, Jay. I hope wherever you are, you’re with my folks. They’d love you, I think. Say hi for me. Give them a hug for me. I love you. I miss you. I wish I could see you again, I’d give just about anything to give you one more hug. I remembered that joke. Kori didn’t quite understand it, but she says you sound like a good kid. … I love you Little Wing.” 

[zacc-attacc]

Nature: A Javid Oneshot

A/N: My first ever oneshot on this website! I hope y’all enjoy!

Word Count- 1.2k

Jack loved the open sky. He loved the stars, the sounds of nature, and everything in between. But, more than anything, it calmed him, something that not many things were able to do. As a kid, he had always dreamed of falling asleep under the stars every single night. And when he was bounced around in foster care, the night sky had been the one common variable. Always there, like a blanket. Luckily for Jack, Some of the Newsies had put together a camping trip in the woods near campus. They had tents (from the Dollar Tree, probably), a bunch of marshmallows, some hotdogs, and a whole lot of energy. And Jack? Jack an invite and a limited will to live. At least Davey would be there, which, to be honest, had its ups and downs.

Ups, because Davey was single-handedly the sweetest human alive and a fun dude to hang out with. And downs, because Davey was Mom Friend Supreme™ and also had an annoying tendency to make Jack’s normally stoic heart do a tap dance in his chest. Which really was inconvenient because Jack’s last relationship had ended only four weeks ago. It wasn’t a nasty breakup, he and Katherine were actually still friends, but the boys still expected him to be depressed about it. But Jack didn’t like to linger. He was upset for a few days, but now he was over it. Katherine obviously was as well, since she was seen going on a few coffee dates with some girl. 

But tonight, none of that mattered. Tonight, he could be whoever he wanted to be because that’s just how it was with the Newsies.

Tonight, he could eat bargain hot dogs and s’ mores, and avoid the fact that he was hopelessly in love with the only man he couldn’t have; because god forbid David Jacobs dated a mess like him. 

Jack knew exactly where he lay in David’s mind. He was a close friend, maybe a sort of Uncle to his future children with his perfect little life with his husband in the suburbs. David liked him well enough, but he would likely never love him. And Jack had tried to accept that, even though, thus far, it had only made it much worse.

“Ay! Jack! You packed?” Crutchie yelled from his lower bunk. Jack was stretched out on the top bunk, staring at a half-finished political cartoon for his class. 

“Yeah… What time’d the guys say to be there?” Jack sat up, hitting his head on the low ceiling. He wasn’t even that tall and it managed to injure him on a daily basis. 

“...In five minutes.”

“Shit-” Jack muttered, scrambling to jump down the bunk, only succeeding in hitting his head yet again on the ceiling. After hitting the floor in the heap, all Jack could hear was Crutchie’s cackles. 

“Just kidding, It’s actually in 20- I just wanted to see your reaction,” Crutchie wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“Yeah, real funny, Crutch,” Jack mumbled, rolling his eyes and smiling. As much as he loved his little brother, he, unfortunately, knew exactly how to get Jack riled up quite easily, which normally ended in Jack running into a wall or stabbing himself in the arm with a pen in a panic.

“S’funny to me,” Crutchie choked out, still laughing. Jack pushed himself to his feet, brushing off the assorted chip crumbs that had migrated from the shitty shag carpeting of his dorm onto his shirt.

“I know, I know,” Jack muttered, grabbing Crutchie’s crutch from the wall and handing them to him. Looking at his laughing face, Jack couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

“Alright, let’s get a move on… You ready?” Jack shook his head while still grinning, snatching his duffle bag and Crutchie’s backpack from beside the door. 

“Ay! I can carry that!" Crutchie protested, making a grab at the bag. 

“Wow, brother dearest, won’t even let me carry a bag,” Jack joked, sticking out his tongue and popping into a dead sprint down the hallway. 

“NOW THAT’S JUST UNCALLED FOR!” Crutchie yelled from the hallway. 

“LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU, STUPID HEAD!” Jack shouted back, slamming open the door for the stairs and sliding onto the railings down the flights. Once he reached the bottom, he pulled out his phone.

“Text RaceyBoi.” 

“What would you like to say?” that stupid automated voice asked back, not fully human or robotic. 

“‘Can you go walk Crutchie to the campsite? Left him for CPS reasons.’” CPS was not, in fact, Child Protective Services, but instead Crutchie Protection Squad.

Smiling to himself, Jack started walking towards the woods on the outskirts of campus. He thought he saw Kid Blink and Spot at one point, Heely-ing towards the woods. He couldn’t help but wonder how the wheels would hold up amongst all the vegetation, and quietly hoped he wouldn’t have to call an ambulance tonight. 

“Hey, Jack!” came a familiar voice from behind him. His heart automatically deciding to kick into overdrive, Jack turned around to see none other than David Jacobs, grinning and clutching a duffle bag. 

“Whaddup, Dave,” Jack grinned back, clapping the taller boy on the shoulder. Seriously, who gave him the right to be this tall? He was like a noodle with a head and arms. 

“You heading down to the campsite?” Davey asked, falling into step with Jack. 

“That’s the plan. Race is taking Crutchie so that idiot won’t try to carry his backpack again.” 

“...You realize he can carry it perfectly fine, right?” Davey said, looking slightly confused.

“Yeah, but I just feel like doin’ something nice for him, y’ know?” 

“You may be stupid at times, but you are a good brother, Jack Kelly,” Davey chuckled, taking off his hat and flipping it backward. 

“Ey, now don’t get to tellin’ the boys that, I have a reputation as a jerk to keep,” Jack couldn’t stop smiling. Why couldn’t he stop smiling? He felt like someone had turned him into the fucking sun from the Teletubbies. 

“I don’t think you could pass as a jerk if you tried,” Davey shrugged, looking into Jack’s eyes so he could get the point across. God, his eyes were brown. Beautiful, chocolatey, perfect brown. 

“You would be surprised,” Jack said, tearing his eyes away. 

Don’t let yourself get attached, dammit. 

“Hey,” Davey stopped. Jack stopped too, staring at him. He put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. 

“Don’t… Don’t talk like that. I know you, Jackie. Okay? And you aren’t an asshole.” 

“Jeez, David, only a few minutes into the trip and you’re already on the late-night talks-” Jack turned away, hoping Davey couldn’t see that he was blushing. 

“I need to hear you say it, okay?” He turned Jack around, forcing him yet again to look into his eyes. 

“Fine. I… I ain’t an asshole. Ya happy?” Jack bit his tongue forcefully. That almost physically pained him to say. 

“Yeah. I… I’m sorry Jack,” Davey said. Jack still wasn’t looking at him. 

“Don’t apologize for caring, Davey.” 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It was late. The shitty fire that had taken them almost a full hour to make was burning low, and Jack had to keep prodding it with a random stick to keep it lit. Most of the boys had already retired to their tents and sleeping bags, and Davey was fast asleep on his chair. Race was the only one still out. 

“Do you think we should wake him up?” Race said, tossing the remains of his s’more into the fire. 

“What? Oh, nah, I’ll wake him up when I head in. Poor kid, being a pre-med student probably never sleeps,” Jack pointed out. 

“How long do you think you’ll be staying out?” Race asked, standing up and stretching. 

“‘Till I get tired,” Jack prodded the fire again, before throwing in another stick. 

“Then he’ll be out here all night,” Race joked, cracking a smile.

“I’ll wake him up before then. Wouldn’t want him to get hypothermia or some shit.” 

“It’s the middle of April, I highly doubt he’ll get hypothermia, Jack.” 

“...Did Racetrack Higgins seriously just say an educated statement?”

“Goodnight-” Race turned away suddenly, seeming intent on changing the subject. 

“YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT NOW, WE KNOW YOU’RE SMART,” Jack whisper-shouted, not wanting to wake any of the boys up (especially not Davey). 

Race replied with his silence. 

Sighing, Jack sat back in his chair. Not having any will to sleep, and nothing more to do, he grabbed out his sketchbook. Nature was always good for inspiration. 

Well, it could’ve been nature, or it could’ve been Davey. Because, without even realizing it, Jack had started to sketch the sleeping boy’s figure. His right fist was supporting his cheek, his hat was half-tipped onto his face, shading it slightly. His legs were crossed, and his left arm was set on top of them. 

Behind him was a backdrop of pine trees, and, even though that wasn’t the actual view, a full moon, and stars. So many stars. All spelling out little words of love in Spanish, Jack’s first language. 

Precioso. Bonita. Perfecto. 

His hair was mostly tucked under his cap. His eyes were softer when he slept. A ghost of a smile played at his lips. 

Increíble. 

Perfect. 

Just as Jack was signing his name and dating the piece, Davey began to stir. 

Quickly shutting the book, Jack simply stared up at the stars he could see despite the light pollution and thick trees. 

“Hey, Jack, saw you drawing there,” Davey said, quietly. 

“Oh- uh- yeah, just… lookin’ through some old pieces,” Jack stammered. 

“Can I see?” 

“Uh- no, this isn’t my graded stuff, it’s all just sketches-“

“Y’know, for an art student, you really don’t like showing your art.” 

“Uh- Fine.” Jack gave up and strode across the fire to hand him the book. It was mostly drawings of the boys, maybe he wouldn’t look that far. 

...Spoiler alert, he looked that far. 

“...Is this me? Right back then, when I was sleeping?” 

“Uh-“

“You really made me look better than I’ve ever seen myself.” 

“Well, that’s how I see you,” Jack said before he could think about his words. Y’know, like a normal person who is trying to hide a massive crush that could end one of his best friendships. 

“Th-that’s… how you see me?” Davey was blushing now. Blushing. Not disgusted. 

“Uh… yeah. Y’see here, th-the moon behind ya, the way it… it focuses on you.” Jack said, kneeling by his chair and pointing to it. 

You are digging your own grave, Jack Kelly. 

“Jack, I… that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Davey was still blushing. He turned his face to Jack’s. He was so close… 

“Well… I draw what I think, Dave, ‘cause words… they ain’t my strong suit,” Jack chuckled, pulling back. But Davey leaned forward. 

“Your drawings don’t need words, Jack. But the artist of them… That is a man that deserves millions of words said about him.” 

“D-Davey… Don’t. Please, don’t do this,” Jack shook his head, standing back up. 

“Did I make you uncomfortable? I- I’m sorry, I thought that we-“ 

“No, David. You didn’t. That’s the exact issue! D-d’ya really think I want to end up breaking your heart? We… We can’t do this, ‘cause it’ll end with me hurting you just like I have a million people! And you don’t deserve that fate! You’re too good for me, David,” Jack might’ve been crying. He wasn’t sure. But he sure as hell was ranting. 

“Jack-“ 

“Don’t Jack me, don’t try to act like it could be any different. We know exactly how this is going to end, and I- I can’t stand losing you, Dave.” 

There was a moment of silence. It was obvious Davey was picking his next words carefully. 

“You won’t.” 

“How could you possibly know that?” 

“You won’t because I won’t let it, Jack Kelly. I won’t let you lose me as a friend, ever. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.” 

“Da-“ 

In two strides, Davey crossed the circle of chairs and shut Jack up with a kiss, half-crushing him with how tightly he was holding him. 

He did this… this thing that made it obvious this wasn’t his first kiss. The way he moved his head up and down just a little bit. The way he seemed all in but ready to pull away if they needed to at any second. 

But more than anything, there was a definitive Davey-ness to him that made it all perfect. 

So Jack had found one more reason to like nature. It was where he shared his first-ever kiss with his boyfriend, David Jacobs.

[kangtaebins]

A (Long) Get To Know Me Tag!

Tagged by: @takatamashi ✨

- What day is your birthday? March 15th 🎂

- What's your favorite color? Pink (but I do have a soft spot for green 💚)

- What's your lucky number? This is corny but I never thought I had a lucky number, right? And then I met Ryu- and we started dating April 4th,,, so I now believe my lucky number is 4 :((

- Do you have any pets? I unfortunately don't, I had a dog for 13 years but he passed away in 2018 :(

- How tall are you? 5'7" (171cm)

- How many pairs of shoes do you own? Technically- 8? But I only wear 3 of them

- Favorite song? Currently it's Savage by Aespa!

- Favorite movie? The Lion King! It's the best movie ever idc

- What would be your ideal partner? @beomkai 😌

- Do you want children? I have no desire to evee be pregnant, however I have always wanted to adopt children as it is my life goal to be a mother

- Have you gotten in trouble with the law? Not as of yet and hopefully it stays that way uh-

- Bath or Shower? Shower definitely

- What color socks are you wearing? I'm not wearing socks snskkeke

- Favorite type of music? I prefer pop music!

- How many pillows do you sleep with? 4 total but only 2 under my head

- What position do you sleep in? Literally all of them I can't even pick

- What you don't like when you're sleeping? I can't stand any heat whatsoever like if I get the slightest bit warm, I can't sleep

- What do you have for breakfast? I don't really eat breakfast tbh

- Have you ever tried archery? No ma'am

- Favorite fruit? I would have to say either watermelon or pineapple

- Favorite swear word? Maaaaan,,, oddly enough probably damn. There's nothing that expresses emotion quite like saying "god damn it"

- Do you have any scars? I do but honestly I only remember what one of them is from

- Are you a good liar? Absolutely not

- What's your personality type? Isfj-t ✨

- What's your favorite type of girl? Again, what does this even mean?

- Innie or outie? Innie

- Left or right handed? Right

- Favorite food? Fruit!!

- Favorite foreign food? Probably Mexican tbh

- Are you clean or messy? Clean unless I have a depressive episode

- Most used phrase? Rn its "excuse me sir-"

- How long does it take for you to get ready? Recently it's been about 35 mins

- Do you talk to yourself? Not much but I think to myself a lot

- Do you sing to yourself? Literally 24/7

- Are you a good singer? I would say I'm not bad I just need to find the right songs

- Biggest fear? My loved ones passing away :/

- Are you a gossip? Not really? Only with my mom sjsksikd

- Do you like long or short hair? On me? Long

- Favorite school subject? I always enjoyed English, but Art and Choir were my favorite electives!

- Extrovert or introvert? Introvert 1000%

- What makes you nervous? Authority-

- Who was your first real crush? Some boy I went to middle school / high school with and was friends with

- How many piercings do you have? 6

- How fast can you run? If afraid? Fast. Otherwise? Not sure bc I don't run 💀

- What color is your hair? Dark brown / black

- What color are your eyes? Green :)

- What makes you angry? Idiots-

- Do you like your own name? I don't like my legal full name (Samantha), but I love my nicknames! (Sam / Sammi)

- Do you want a boy or girl as a child? It doesn't matter to me at all honestly, it isn't important

- What are your strengths? I think my passion is a big strength, as well as my determination. Both have gotten me through some bad shit skksksk

- What are your weaknesses? Uhhh- verbal speech / expression is very difficult for me most days

- What's the color of your bedspread? Its white / grey / pink

- Color(s) of your room? Pastel green walls with a black chalkboard accent wall!